Weird Old Lines. by Voracity2
Summary: Xander Harris and Darcy Lewis have insane lives. Adding in some...higher beings with ideas about their bloodlines isn't going to make it any less insane.
Categories: Buffy Stories & Crossovers > Avengers, Buffy Stories & Crossovers > Other Movie Characters: None
Series: None
Chapters: 8 Completed: Yes Word count: 136863 Read: 441722 Published: 06/04/2015 Updated: 06/04/2015

1. Part 1 by Voracity2

2. Part 2 by Voracity2

3. Part 3 by Voracity2

4. Part 4 by Voracity2

5. Part 5 by Voracity2

6. Part 6 by Voracity2

7. Part 7 by Voracity2

8. Part 8 by Voracity2

Part 1 by Voracity2
Weird Old Lines.









The three beings grimaced as they watched tv, almost snarling at the chaos going on just a few miles away from where they were. They couldn't show up to help but it was time to make a few moves that no one, not even the higher ups, thought would be possible. Because, yeah, they didn't want any other gods to show up on this realm without them knowing. Thor was bad enough, and his brother was living up to his chaos god rep. So for now they had to do some...fixing. They shared a look and went to talk to their cohorts. Not like most of them didn't already realize they were ...special beings.

***

Xander looked up from the battle then at the girls around him. "Ladies, scatter," he called. "The battle's falling. Go to civie support." They nodded, heading off to help. The ones who had already been helping evacuate got some backup. Xander looked at the two injured slayers and leaned down to check them. Neither one would survive those injuries, even with special healing. But he had to try. He sent a prayer up to the few demons who owed him poker debts. They wouldn't want to save slayers but slayers were preferable to alien doucebugs.

They glowed and he said a silent thank you. He got the into the transport with the injured civilians, nodding at an officer. The axe he carried got a dirty look. He pulled out his official ID to hold up, earning a quiet moan. "We weren't here," he said quietly but firmly. "Get them healed and they can make it to the local house. We know how some people feel about the girls." The officer nodded, going with that group just in case. Xander walked off. Sometimes he really hated humanity. Especially the ones who had been holding up 'greetings to our new alien overlord' signs.

He set one sign on fire as he walked past it and the dead bodies that it was resting on top of. An officer scowled so he pointed at the sign. "Not here it won't." The officer snorted but put out the fire after the sign was gone. Xander went back to checking on his teams. They were mostly healthy, just small combat injuries and scrapes or bruises. They could handle that. He spotted agents in dull looking black suits, wearing white shirts and sunglasses.

"SHIELD's here," he said into their comm system. The girls knew that was a cue to scatter. SHIELD had a huge meltdown over slayers when they had to come out of the closet thanks to LA's demon invasion. Even Xander had heard in Africa. He had shown back up to rescue the girls that were in custody. He had gotten caught but his helpers hadn't and the girls had gotten free, then they had gotten him out of there.

He snapped off a jaunty salute to an agent glaring at him. "It's our world too, dude. Thankfully I was local to help." He clicked over. "Been spotted by an agent, ladies. Can we come home?" He got sent to a safehouse. The slayers were back in the safety fallback outside of Cleveland that no one could get into if they weren't Council. Xander settled in to clean his weapons and then go take a shower. Because he was sore, he ached, and he needed some stress relief to kill off the last of the adrenaline. Normal guys had that reaction to battles.

***

The Avengers team winced when the phone was still ringing at the tower when they made it back to crash for the night. No one wanted to know who was calling. "JARVIS, must you?" Tony demanded.

"Yes, sir, it's for Lord Thor," the AI said. "His girlfriend spotted him and is most peeved at him."

Thor groaned but picked up the phone to answer it. "Yes, Jane?" He smiled. "Yes, I am well until you and Darcy can kick me around. No, I must escort my brother back to Asgard...." He winced. "I need rest, Jane. May we speak on this in the morning?" She apparently chewed him a new one. "No, do not do that, Jane. I apologize for not alerting you I was back for a serious problem that Loki was causing." He flopped down on a nearby mostly whole chair. It broke but oh well. It was better than staying standing. "Jane." Another tirade. "Darcy, please calm her down," he said gently and quietly. "Were it not an emergency I would not have been sent by my father to handle Loki's recent plots. Yes, I will call her once I wake up. Yes, I am tired and I know you both worry about me. Thank you, Darcy. Yes, once I wake up. I shall see if we took down the number."

"I have," the AI assured him.

"Thank you. Stark's AI has the number and I shall call once I wake up and before I eat. Please?" Jane said something but Darcy told him to get a shower before he slept or he'd be more sore in the morning. "I know. Thank you, Darcy. I shall talk to you both in the daylight." He hung up and made himself stand up. Stark pointed. "Thank you, Man of Iron." He went to shower and sleep. This battle had been harder than many he had been in. Longer as well. Though he longed to hold Jane to him so he slept tonight he could not do that at this moment. It would get her harmed.

Stark looked at the others. "Anyone else got a girlfriend who'll be calling?" No one said anything but Steve stared at him. "No, I've already heard from mine. Everyone find a spot and sleep. We deserve some uninterrupted sleep. JARVIS, no one in until the last one of us is awake and it had better be after lunch because I'm going to sleep that long." He went to his room and crashed. The others found rooms and slept in them. Clint and Natasha slept back-to-back in the same bed, the same as they had on missions, so nothing would bother them. Clint really needed to be in the infirmary but she was too tired to force him back there.

***

"We're going to have a problem," one of the lower level 'helpers' said quietly in his boss's ear. "A huge problem actually." That one looked at him, grinning slightly. Leave it to the newer recruits to panic about the simple things. "First, one of them is no longer in the US. Second, he's rated as 'do not touch' by a lot of people. We're not sure why. There's closed files dating from something that happened out west, something that happened in his actual former town of Sunnydale, and something that happened in Africa. The rest aren't going to want to show up."

"That's a big problem but I'm sure they can figure a way around it."

"You might want to read his file first. It's not pretty. At all." He handed it over. "This is *all* we could find. Out of almost thirty years."

He looked at the thin file. "That's bad." He flipped into it. Almost nothing, and the few things they had been able to find couldn't be verified. "Any idea if he's a spook?"

"No clue about anything. Anywhere. Even on the stranger sites. Though they do have him hunting vampires now and then."

"That's a problem. Thanks." He walked off, going to talk to the head trio. "Guys?" They looked over. "One problem with your chosen." He put down the thin file. "He's about thirty. That's all they could find on his background check. That and *maybe* he hunts vampires now and then. Plus three 'do not touch' orders based on incidences."

"That's weird." They looked at it then at him. "He's direct bloodline."

"The only time we've ever spotted him at something in the US was the other day at the battle in New York. He was protecting an area around one of the hospitals."

They nodded. "I like that action," another said, looking at the higher one.

"Me too. Nothing else?"

"Not that the security team could find. They don't think he's a ghost."

"Any way we can get a retired member near him?"

"Current location is listed as 'traveling back to Africa'," the second-highest said, pointing at it. "Is he native?"

"No. He's from that town that sank. One of the incidences is from there. One's from Iowa. The other's from Africa."

"So we know nothing about him," the highest one said then smiled. "It'll work out."

"If you're sure. How are we going to get him back here?"

"We ask someone for a favor."

"Got it, boss. Let us know when." He walked off, leaving it in their hands.

The trio shared a look. "Tommy?"

"Going," he agreed, going to look the guy up. That was beyond weird and if he was in the wrong sort of business it'd be a bad idea to include him. They had to know before they called the whole 'family' together to meet.

***

There was a concert. A huge concert. The ones the trio had to check up on had been given special tickets with backstage and after-party passes. All of them showed up, even the one that had been sent back from Africa for a torn knee ligament. Which he was on a crutch for. He looked very confused too. The party was lower key, mostly just the band, the security team from the Hong Kong Cavaliers, and the new members. The trio walked in and smiled. "Evening, everyone." He looked at the one. "Sit, that's gotta hurt."

"I'm good. I took some aleeve earlier and it's good now." He stared at them, sensing something was off. Great, demons or something. He glanced down at his shirt and the pendant under it. No glow so no magic. He got pushed into a chair. "I'm fine but thank you." He grinned.

"It's not what you think."

"You so sure about that? I heard someone was sniffing a file trail Willow left."

"I'm pretty sure." He walked over to the center of the crowd. "People, we invited you for a specific reason. Mostly family reasons. Doing some genealogy work, we're kind of related." Most of them grinned at that. "So we wanted to get to know you guys."

Xander nodded. "Wow, how were you related to the Harris'? I didn't think they had been out of Sunnydale since it came into being." If they were demons just saying the town's name should get some sort of response. Not an open one but a look sent his way. "They followed the wacky original mayor out there." He shrugged.

The lone woman stared at him. "Who're you? I've seen your picture recently. Mostly with some swearing that got covered up."

Xander held out a hand with a smile. "Xander Harris."

"Darcy Lewis." She shook it with a grin. "Why was my boss, Jane Foster, swearing about you?"

"The same Jane Foster that's doing the Einsten-Rosen bridge?" Buckaroo asked with a grin.

She grinned back. "I'm her very patient intern."

"Are you in the sciences?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "Poli Sci. She was the last internship open when I needed one at Culver."

"Good school," he praised. "Tell her I'd love to see her work to see if it's applicable to mine."

"I can do that." She pulled out her phone to text. She got back an auto response. "Thor's got her."

Xander shook his head with a sigh. "Great. Does she realize he's also a fertility god?" he asked her.

"There's birth control, nosy."

"Yeah, we've seen two of the Indo-European ones recently and they both went through it. I mention this because they both kinda died from the huge ass kids they had. One punched his own hole out."

Darcy paused for a second's thought. "I'll look that up for her."

"Look it up on Fergola's site. He's the creepy arcane guy in Italy. They're covering it up a tiny bit since one came out as Hindu blue as they put it. With four arms. If you find anything in a normal site it'll probably attribute it to demonic origins."

"Do you deal with that stuff?" she asked with a slight grin.

He nodded. "You could say that." He pulled out his wallet and handed over a card. "I'm the only field Watcher in Africa. I'm also one of the reasons we all changed methods after the First blew up Sunnydale." He looked at them. "So." He grinned.

"We're not demonic, kid," one of the guys in the back said.

"No, you're into chaos magic. I've been yanked a few times by Janus. We noticed the protections." He smiled. "Thanks for not having me possessed like Ethan did."

That one hopped up. "You're one of Ripper's kids."

"Yeah, I am." He smiled. "Have been since Buffy showed up. No matter what she thought about it." He sipped his soda. "So, now that we have relatives, that's cool and all. Why the special invite instead of just letters?"

"You need to have patience," Buckaroo told him. Then he smiled. "There's no other magic beyond protections here."

"You hope," Xander corrected then pointed behind him. "Because something that way glows." He grinned and pulled out his pendant. It was glowing brighter by the moment. Something kicked in the door and Xander moved first, throwing a dagger at it. It shrieked. "Dude, seriously?" he demanded.

"Knight!" it shouted. "We only wanted an autograph." He held up a picture. Xander stared. "It's for my son. He's in his first heat. He's leaking magic. And the witches in the parking lot are doing a love spell." Xander groaned, limping out to go handle the witches. "I'm sorry we alarmed anyone," the demon said.

Buckaroo smiled. "You know about him?"

"Quite a lot. The Knight is a bit uptight these days. Has been since he walked away from his almost-wife because it was going to be a bad thing for her." The picture got signed by everyone. "Thank you, Great Ones." He bowed and hurried off. The Knight was chewing the witches a new one and there was an officer standing by taking notes. He smiled and waved at them. "Love spells are as bad as drugging them."

"Yes they are. Though when I did it, and it got everyone but the one I was getting back at, I didn't take advantage of anyone." Xander stared at them. "You'd better learn, ladies. There's a huge coven just up the road that'd *love* to mentor you ladies into better versions of the craft." They ran for the cop, who gladly brought them in and then called the coven on them. Xander sighed, looking up. "So," he told the sky. "Really? Old Ones? Cute." Someone clapped and Xander looked at him then shrugged. "Not like you're the first I've seen."

"In Africa?"

"There were two living in Oxnard. They ran the strip club I ended up working in when my car exploded on my post grad roadtrip."

The guy groaned and shook his head. "They're not our kind."

"Thalia and Agripa? Probably not," he agreed with a smile. "They weren't musical at all."

"Listen, it's critical right now with what happened...."

Xander held up a hand, shaking his head. "I was at the battle. I saw them both and felt the remnants twitch when Janus yanked on me a few times. I've had visions about what they're going to do, including the next one in a year in London that'll be coming thanks to Dark Elves." He shrugged. "Which I really do have to tell Darcy about since I saw her and her boss there."

"You're seriously a watcher?"

"Against some of their wills. They consider me *normal*." He grinned. "They're wrong but I'm still doing the training for the girls in Africa so they can stay home."

Tommy shook his head. "That's so weird. We're supposed to be staying out of that stuff."

"I was born in Sunnydale. I carry more radiation from there than anyone ever met. I actually got some radiation sickness when I went on my roadtrip." He smiled. "What did you guys need help with?"

"Bloodline means that we can help you go up some so there's more powers available. The problem is the Powers above you."

"The Powers That Be hate me like I'm the evilist thing ever since I ...fixed some problems of theirs. Things like prophecies that make no sense."

Tommy moaned. He thought only Buckaroo did that stuff. "Really?"

"Yeah. That's why the blonde, perky slayer is still around, the first time." Tommy stared. Xander smiled. "Beyond that, I doubt I'd be much help outside of always having battles around me."

"You may have to retire."

"I don't see anyone stepping in to do my job so that's not possible. But thanks. Tell Darcy I'll write her about that invasion after I go freak out Thor if he's still in New York."

"He's not. They left earlier."

"Great. That means I'd probably have to tell SHIELD. Which sucks. They hate us. I've never had someone have an adult tantrum that way." He shrugged. "I'll figure it out I guess." He grinned. "You have fun and let me know if you need my help."

"You were going to be put under Wisdom."

Xander burst out laughing. "Does that mean it'll counteract a lifetime of hating books, a learning disability, and having to do things the physical way?"

"You do?"

"Yeah. I suck so grandly at book learning it's not funny." He shrugged then smirked a tiny bit. "I made it to graduation though."

Tommy cleared his throat. "Maybe we can find another one."

Xander shrugged. "I don't know. I know I'm the normal guy backup sort."

"We have to do it tonight or it can be another year."

"Or I can go back to the temple I found and ask to be the living avatar that I got offered," he quipped. "Would've freaked out Willow though." Tommy gaped. Xander grinned. "Chaos loves me for some reason." He shrugged and smiled. "It happens." He shifted his stance to relieve some of the pressure on his knee. "And since it's going to counteract my calling I can't do that in good faith. I'm sorry but the girls need me more than you guys do."

"You're the last in your bloodline."

Xander nodded. "Literally since I'm infertile. Which sucks but yeah." He stared at him. He felt magic behind him and looked. "Go inside please," he said, turning serious.

"I can handle it."

"I doubt it since it's one of the Wicca we've seen recently." He pointed. "Inside." Tommy moved to the doorway and called one of the guys. The witch appeared already laughing and Xander took a swing at her with his crutch. She yelped and ducked but he followed the swing with a swing back and then the knife he had stopped to pull out of the doorframe.

"Why can't you die!" she shouted. "If you die the sacrifice is done with and we'll all be happy!"

"I doubt that," he said. "And I'm not dying tonight. Thanks anyway." She lunged at him with a bottle in one hand. Tommy nicely shot the bottle for him. "Thanks. Go inside please?"

"Let me get you some help."

"No need." Xander leaned on his crutch and kicked her back then got her in the stomach. She screamed. "I'm not a sacrifice and I doubt any god *you'd* call on would accept me anyway. Not a virgin, not a blood innocent, and definitely not amused," he finished, staring at her. Cop cars showed up. He pulled out his ID. "This witch, as in black Wicca, wants me to be a sacrifice. They've been doing one a year for the last fifty years to work up to calling a higher spirit."

She climbed up with some help. "She'll still come," she sneered. "You won't avoid all of us. Even if you do die in a car crash you'll still die tonight."

Xander shook his head. "I doubt it. I know when I'll go. It's not tonight." She lunged at him and he punched her. She screamed and burst out crying. He sneered at her. "Let's try that again, shall we?" She pulled something out of her top and threw it at him. He batted it aside. "Don't touch that. That's Jimbara powder. It's toxic to humans." They backed away from it. "Wanna try again? That won't work on me, dear. I did get exposed to mermaids back in high school and I'm not the average young guy."

"Hellmouth babies will be the last step to call HER back!" she shouted. "You'll die in the glory!"

Xander snorted, waving her on. "Come on if you're coming." She got up and stared at him. He stared back. He pulled something out of his pocket, taking off the foil wrapper. "The only one Willow found laying around the house," he quipped, letting the sword grow in his hand. He tapped the point on the ground once it was finished, holding it properly. The crutch got tossed down. "C'mon. You want my blood, come take it, bitch." She pulled a gun and by the time she was pointing it, her neck was against the blade.

"You wanted what?" he asked with a slight sneer. "My blood instead of yours going?" She whimpered. "Drop the gun. Now. Before I cut the hand off too." She dropped it. An officer kicked it away from her. Another one came to cuff her. He stepped back, sword back in front of him with the point resting on the ground. "So, you thought you'd get a Knight?" he asked with a smile. "How very odd you are, dear. I should let Willow know." She swallowed. "You have a great life."

"If I bleed She'll still come," she sneered and tried to chew on her wrist. The officers stopped her. "You can't stop HER."

"Why not? We stopped a few others." She kicked at him but it let the officers bring her to the ground faster. "No, I don't think you're that much of a problem. Beyond that, I heard you did the fasting wrong by having smoothies." He shrugged and walked off.

"Sir, we need a statement and can you shrink that please?" one of the officers demanded.

Xander looked at the sword then shrugged. "I have no idea if it'll go back. Willow did the spell and while she's powerful, she's screwy too." He picked up the condom wrapper to put back around it. Nothing. He tried it in a different spot. Nope. So he called. "How do I reshrink the sword you gave me in the condom wrapper? Because there's a black wicca here who thought I'd make a grand sacrifice to bring back her mean goddess sort, Willow. We just had a chat so the cops can have her." He listened and put the wrapper over that spot. It shrank. "Thanks. No, handled nicely by them." He hung up and shook his head as the sword went back into his pocket. "Sorry it's such a night for this." He looked up then grinned at them. "Moon dark, it figures."

"Who are you?" one of the other officers asked.

Xander grinned. "Xander Harris, field watcher over the slayers in Africa. I'm making sure they get to stay home to protect their people."

"Oh!" He nodded. "That's nice of you, sir."

"I was grieving and now they're nagging like the ones here in the US. They think I'm normal too."

The officer shook his head. "I don't think so. Normal guys don't carry swords, sir."

"I'd hug you but you'd arrest me for that," Xander quipped with a smile. The witch cast something at him and his pendant sucked it in. "Thanks, it needed recharged." He grinned and waved. "Have a great life." She shrieked and struggled but then Willow appeared. Xander looked at the officer. "That's Rosenburg," he said quietly. Now the witch was trying to disappear.

Willow stomped over. "What did you think you were doing trying to sacrifice our Xander?" she demanded with a foot stomp. "How dare you!"

"Yeah, that's your job," Xander quipped.

"Shut up, Xander. You're a man and wouldn't understand anyway!" She glared at the witch, hands on her hips. "Well! I'm not this patient."

"She'll come back," the witch sneered.

"They fasted with smoothies from what I heard, Wills," Xander quipped. "I don't think that's the right way."

"Heck no, it's not." She stared at the witch. "I can call her to see if she can correct your dirty methodology."

"Wouldn't that cause the same problems?" one of the officers demanded.

"Yup," Xander quipped, looking at the officer. He nicely brought the officer with him and motioned the others to get out of the way. Willow was working her way into a hissy fit on the dumb, young one.

Tommy strolled over. "Guys, we've still got innocent fans here. Can you take it somewhere else?" he asked with a smile he used to calm hysterically crying fans when they got clingy. "This one was at our after party when he felt something wrong."

Willow blinked then squealed and hugged him. "You're Perfect Tommy! I love you guys! You're the only guys I still listen to!" She bounced some. "You guys are playing Cleveland soon?"

"Not real soon. I know we're going to Cincinnati soon."

She pouted. "We can travel. I introduced all the slayers to your music and they all adore it too. It can be a slayer field trip." She hugged him and took a picture then bounced over to nag the witch again.

Xander looked at him. "Wow."

"Well, I am Perfect," he said quietly with a smirk. "Can we have him back?"

"We still need a statement."

Then suddenly there was a roar from a female voice. A woman with a lion head and mane showed up. "See, now you can apologize for not only waking her up but for doing it the wrong way!" Willow ordered.

"Oh, goddess," Xander moaned. He looked up. Then at her. "Willow, send her home!" he ordered. "Before it gets someone hurt?" He nodded at the officers. "Please?"

"She'll be fine!" she said with a hand wave at him. "Shut up, man sort."

Xander groaned. He looked at the officer, who was calling that in. "She eats men." The officer added that and got the young witch and their people out of there. Tommy went to tell the others so they could evacuate most everyone. Xander went to his rental car to get into his kit and came out with three things. The lone remaining officer stared at him in horrified awe. "It's going to kick. If I get injured, my knee's twisted," he called.
"And don't do bloodwork on me. Ever. It's a bad idea and might trigger a virus laid into the system if it gets into it." He opened the case and fired on the demon queen, making her scream and burn but not die. He moved to the next one. Willow huffed but tried to banish her and couldn't. Other members of that coven up the road were showing up to help. Xander nodded at one and fired his last thing at the demon queen. She screamed in pain. "Blood." The witches got in his way and banished her. "Can you guys tell Willow why that was a bad thing?"

"It was not! I was proving to the young, dumb one how stupid it was!" Willow said with a foot stomp. "Where did you get that, mister!"

"Um... no comment," he said with a smile. He dove for his car and drove off before Willow could do more than try to flash something at him. He was calling his contacts. "Move me! Please move me! Willow just summoned a demon queen! They're going to throw down with magic!" He was suddenly in New York City. He sighed. "Thanks." He hung up, grabbing his bag that had come with him and his crutches. He hopped off to find a cheap motel. As he hopped he repeated to himself his new mantra of Willow: spanking Willow is not my job, I am not Giles and I thank the Goddess and Janus each and every night for that.

***

The next morning, Xander came out for breakfast and to make travel plans, running into a guy in a black suit, white shirt, and sunglasses guarding a young woman in a dark blue action suit. He sighed. "I need coffee," he told the agent. "Can you please wait?"

"No," the woman said. "We need to chat, Harris."

"Sure, and while I'm getting coffee we can chat about the visions I've had too." He stared at her. "Because if I don't get coffee I'm going to bite someone. I had to deal with Willow last night."

She arched an eyebrow up. "She was local?"

"New Jersey."

"We heard something happened but it was covered up."

"Probably made a whole police department go for God too," he quipped. "I need caffeine."

"I have a thermos," she said, handing it over. "Plus an egg and peanut butter sandwich since you're said to like those." She handed that over too. "Let's chat."

"Fine," he muttered, going back into the motel room. He settled in to eat and stare at her. "About?"

"You were at the battle."

"Really?" he asked dryly. "Why would I be at a battle for the world's fate? Not like I don't do that as a job," he said dryly.

"Were the slayers?"

"Yes, and two nearly lost their lives guarding that area."

"Thank you." He nodded and ate another bite. "How much did you guys do?"

"We guarded those two hospitals and kept people from panicking in that residential section plus got people out of buildings so they weren't killed."

She nodded, making that note. "That's handy and I'm sure if your girls had been closer they would've helped more."

"Probably. Willow sent the C team. A and B were both handling the rioting and panicking going on in Cleveland."

She nodded, making that note as well. "I heard something about that but not a lot. Thank you." She put the tablet against her chest, staring at him. "What did Miss Rosenburg do this time?"

"We had a witch wanting me as a final sacrifice to bring back her Goddess. So Willow called up her goddess to instruct the young one about how to properly do her rites."

"Oh, no," the agent sighed, shaking her head. "Handled?"

"Yeah. The local coven showed up. I held it off with some artillery." He smiled and sipped the coffee. "Thank you for breakfast."

"It's safer if you're kept inside right now."

"I've got to make plans to get back to my trainees. Before I have to face down a pouty Buffy about Willow being all bad again."

She nodded. "Might be a sound tactic. It will definitely keep you out of the crossfire when they fight. I heard they were doing that this morning."

"Good! I keep reminding myself that spanking her is Giles' job and I thank Janus and Willow's goddess each night that I'm not Giles."

She let out a tiny smirk. "So do we, Mr. Harris. Visions? That's why I showed up this morning."

"Yeah." He pointed. "Grab my journal. The blue one." She took it out of his bag, letting him flip to the right spot. "That's the first one. That's why we knew to move the girls this way." He let her see it. "I emailed that one."

"I saw that earlier during the clean up." She sat down across him to go over them. She blinked a few times. "Dark Elves? Do we know this woman?"

"The blonde is Jane Foster and I met Darcy Lewis last night at a concert." She slumped, staring at him. He grinned and nodded. "Yup. Notice Thor's going to come back for a booty call."

She reread it and made notes, going forward. "That's bad." She paused. "What's this fire thing?"

"I have no clue," Xander admitted. "It was electronic fire in a needle."

"Okay." She took pictures of those pages, making sure they came out. She made notes as she went through them. "This last one. What is it?"

He looked then at her. "We think it's a godly being but we're not sure. It's taking on a mechanical body. It'll be a full world apocalypse and we'll have to all step in together. Especially since I saw some of your people not wearing patches. Octopus ones but I did not see a single SHIELD agent in the vision." She frowned. He drew out the symbol he saw on the napkin. "It was that patch. It wasn't someone they were working with but yeah, saw it a few times."

"That's....HYDRA," she said. "You didn't see a single SHIELD agent?" He shook his head. "Did you see them attack us?"

"No. I didn't see a single agent in an agent suit, not a single agent in an action suit, not your boss in his special leather coat of no damage. No one had a single SHIELD emblem anywhere. Even Captain America didn't." She scowled but made that note. "I don't know why. But if even the bad guys are panicking about this being, it's yours and ours. I was going to email later this week so it was on record, even though you guys tend to ignore them."

"Many aren't proven that right," she said. "But I know you've only seen battles." Xander nodded. "All right. Any others, let me know personally," she said, writing her email address in the book under the last entry. "Please."

"Granted," he agreed with a grin. "We're not mean to get along with if you guys aren't."

"We are," she said smugly. "We'd rather the girls got to stay home."

"Us too. The demons aren't going to allow it and you guys don't jump into our battles. So it's not a probable outcome."

"No, it's not," she agreed. "We're training people to help your girls with battles. By the way, I looked into the lack of battles in Africa." Xander stared back. "Nice coverup, Harris."

He grinned. "It'd get me nagged greatly. I don't want to see that."

"Me either. You might go win weapons from someone again." She stood up. "Have a pleasant trip back to Africa." She and her under-agent left together. She went right to Avengers tower, right to Stark. "Call a meeting," she ordered, using his system to call Fury. "Sir, the seer at the Council let me see his journal. We have five into the next few years. Including the last one that has a god-like mechanical being trying to take out the world and SHIELD not in existence. He said not even Captain America was wearing a SHIELD emblem. But he saw HYDRA responding."

Fury blinked. "Excuse me?" he demanded. "Which seer?"

"Harris."

"Fuck! I'll be there in twenty. We'll see what he saw." He hung up.

She turned to look at Stark, letting him have her tablet by putting it in front of him. "Go back by two. It's about you and Potts." He took it with a scowl to read. He stiffened, staring at her. "All he said was it was electrical fire in a needle. He did not know what it was."

"Extremis," he muttered. "JARVIS, bring Pepper to the meeting too please. Somehow."

"She'll be here within fifteen minutes, sir. She knows there's an emergency meeting being called immediately."

"Thank you." He looked at the others, pausing. "Wow." He stared at her. "I...."

"If you're working on something that may equate to that, don't," she said quietly.

The others came in and Pepper hurried in with Fury right behind her. "What's going on?" Pepper asked.

"I had to talk to one of the people at the Council this morning," Maria Hill said with a sigh at the end. "One of the senior members who is also a seer." Pepper winced. "A fairly accurate seer, who usually only sees battles." Everyone grimaced at that. Stark put up the different visions on virtual screens. Fury moved closer to the one. "He said he did not see a single SHIELD emblem anywhere, sir, and didn't see you either."

"I'd be there," he said.

"Unless you're dead," Natasha said reasonably. She read them over. "Harris?" Maria nodded. "Is he still in Africa?"

"He was at a concert last night in New Jersey which somehow led to the awakening of a demonic goddess by Miss Rosenburg to correct a younger witch who was doing the rites to raise that goddess wrong," she said. "I brought him breakfast and coffee so we could chat."

Fury looked at her. "Good!" He went over them again. He tapped one. "Stark, are you making another AI?"

"I was thinking about a robotic sentinel thing, something to help us or spare us for the bigger things. Apparently I'm not now though."

"Good!" Fury said, then looked at Potts. "What's the electrical fire in a needle?" She shrugged.

"Has to be extremis," Bruce said quietly. "We've just heard about that." Tony nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Which is really dangerous." Pepper grimaced but nodded. "At least we have some warning. They may still try it but we can counter some things."

Stark nodded. "Yes, I am." He pointed at one. "That's going to suck for London."

"He met Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster's assistant, last night at the concert," Maria Hill said. "He identified her as one and Dr. Foster as another. So Thor will be back."

"We need to find a way to tell him that," Natasha said. "That way they're warned as it looks like he'll be losing his mother."

"Ask Foster," Bruce said. "She's working on rebuilding the Rainbow Bridge." He put his hands in his pockets. "Now what?"

"Forewarned is armed and able to plan, even if they change slightly," Steve Rogers said. He looked at Pepper then at Tony. "The one about you two?"

"Oh, it'll be stopped," Tony promised with a growl. "I'm not the sort to play to someone else's tune."

"Good," Fury agreed. "Find out who that Manchurian or whatever is."

"He's Ten Rings," Clint said quietly. "We've run into them before and he's been noted as being a leader but everyone thinks it's weird."

Fury looked at him. "Got a case name or number to back that up?"

"Altina's last case, sir. I got the transcripts of the questioning because it went into my last field case."

"Huh." He looked at it. "Mandarin. Sounds like a stupid name." He looked at his spies. "Romanoff, handle this Mandarin person. Make sure he does not bother anyone."

"I can do so," she said.

"Good. Stark, don't make me confine you," he warned.

"I'm not going to make something to help us that way. I'd hate to have to work with the Council people and their underage warriors."

"Actually, those on patrol status are required to be at least graduated from high school," Maria Hill said. "The old Council didn't care but the new one is very uptight about such matters. Harris is the guy training the girls in Africa how to protect themselves at home."

"Great," Stark agreed. "Can't we take that duty from them? And why were they at our battle?"

"Guarding a residential and hospital area," she said. "We found out there had been a vision emailed up. They had predicted the battle and the only thing that kept them from heading toward that area to take the vulnerable out was the Hulk beating one and killing another. The Council teams took down six different flying skids of warriors trying for the hospitals. Their A and B teams were handling the panicking going on elsewhere."

Fury nodded once. "Makes sense to me. I saw that after the fact too. At least they tried to warn us." He looked at them again. "Hill, make copies. Captain, can I have you look into HYDRA since it looks like they're back?"

"Definitely," he agreed.

"Good. Thank you. Let me know where we're standing and what we find out, people. This is going to suck large."

"Sir, I did let Mr. Harris know I had went looking to see why there hadn't been any battles in Africa." She smiled.

"Hiding from the nagging?" he guessed with a smirk of his own.

"Yes."

"Give me details on those. Just in case. Also on what happened in New Jersey."

"Rosenburg."

Fury's good eye twitched. "Sure. Give me details later, when I can drink them away." He stomped off.

"Okay, so apparently I need new projects," Stark said suddenly, then clapped his hands together. "Pep?"

"I'll help you figure that out, Tony." He grinned at her. "Keep me informed of what I need to know for the PR problems we'll have," she told the others. "Good luck, people, and let me know if I can help." She walked off looking calm.

Steve's head popped up and he blushed a bit, hearing her going off in the elevator. Super hearing did have some advantages.

Stark waved a hand. "Have fun, people, and let me know where I can help. I don't want to destroy humanity. I might have to work with the Council people." They nodded, going to talk about how to handle things. Hill left after them. Stark went into his containment chamber to have a drink and calm down in the quiet, dark area. He had nearly turned into a super villain. He didn't like that about himself.

*** (sent to list to here)

Xander finished setting up the prayer altar and stepped back to make sure it was technically correct. He stepped up and added some blood to the prayer plate then lit the herbs under it on fire. He sighed. "Lord Heimdall, I know you see all, but those of us with visions have seen as well. We have seen horrible things, including the loss of your Matriarch. Look to the dark elves for they return to finish what they started and are not amused. There are those in hiding who will show up as berserkers. That will lead to the loss of the castle and the Matriarch who holds those reins loosely." He blew out the fire and unassembled the altar then returned it to Anya's trunk. It went back into his rental car and he headed back to the main slayer house, against his will but Giles had ordered. He walked in and handed him his vision journal, waiting on him to read them.

"That explains why we got a call from a confused officer who was wondering why you were doing that in the park," Giles said, looking over the rim of his glasses at his young hunter.

Xander shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. "Not like the girls would leave me alone long enough to set up the prayer altar to Heimdall. He who sees is also over seers as far as I can tell."

"Perhaps. I've never looked into that," Giles admitted, walking the younger man to his office to go over some paperwork he had sent in.

***

Up on Asgard, a resting Heimdall was awoken by the prayer. He looked down upon the person, looking confused, but the man's Norse was good enough to be understood. The words were clear enough for him to call Odin to him. Thor came with him, escorting his mother properly. "Lord Odin, I have just had a modern seer pray something at me." He bowed to his queen. "That one saw the dark elves coming back and you falling in battle, Frigga."

She arched an eyebrow up. "Interesting. One who sees to another?" Heimdall nodded. She came to look over his shoulder. "Show me?" He did. The boy's vision journal was open so they could look over all of them. Thor moaned at one, shaking his head. "I see," she said when they got to hers. She looked at her husband then her son. "It is nice that he said that Loki would help avenge me." She patted Thor's arm. He was tensed up. "We will ask our seers if we have seen thus and handle it as it comes, my son.

"Be aware that I will be watching over your intended. My daughter-in-law must get to know me." Odin scowled at her. She stared back. "I appreciate him liking one who has uses other than bearing future warriors." She walked off thinking hard about that prophecy. The seers were in a wing of the healer's building. She bowed as she walked past the healers, getting bowed back to. She knocked then walked into the seer's receiving area. "Good evening." They all smiled at her. "What do we know of a young human seer with one eye?"

"He was called the One Who Sees Too Much," one said.

"He used to date Anyanka," another said. "He braved her ire by doing what was best for them both and not marrying her."

Frigga raised an eyebrow. "Bravely stupid. What else do we know of him? Is he accurate?"

"He is afflicted with true sight of battles," one of the oldest said, staring at her with his empty, sealed eye sockets. "His gifts are not all hidden but were awakened with his blood being spilled by an enemy."

"His is often correct?" she asked. That one nodded once, looking serene. "So him seeing the dark elves coming back?"

"As some of us have seen, my Queen," that seer said quietly. "We will miss you much if you cannot defeat them. That one is not set in stone yet. It is mutable."

She nodded. "Thank thee." She patted him on the hands. "I wish you better sights." She left to tell her husband that. He was waiting on her. He didn't go to see the seers. They tended to see horrific battles when he did. Thor stayed respectful of them for the same reason. She nodded once. Odin's face tightened and he sucked in a breath then let it out. "I simply must train more, my husband. Let us spar."

"Yes, wife, we will make sure you are the equal of any of those elves." He walked her off.

Thor went down to talk to his brother. "There was a prophecy given."

Loki looked at him. "Why should I hear such?" he asked. "I am still here, Thor."

"The dark elves come during the convergence. You did not know why they came but they went up at your direction to our mother's suite and killed her." Thor stared at him. Loki's eyes were colder now. "You did not know. It stated you were the reason she was avenged." Loki tipped his head at that. "Let us know if you should see such, Brother. Mother is preparing herself to battle them but none of us want such to happen."

"I would never hurt her," Loki said quietly.

"I know. Which is why I came to tell you of such. Do you know of many seers not up here?"

"I have heard of some on Midgard. Why?"

"The seer that had it was from there. He prayed to Heimdall as one who sees to another."

Loki smirked a cold smirk. "That one is very much acquainted with my type. Others who do chaos have long worked around him, both with and without his consent. No one else could be exposed to mermaid taint and live as a human."

Thor nodded. "He sounds interesting. What do you know of him?"

"Not much. Everyone seems to not see him as he is, just as their friend who happens to help somehow."

"Thank thee. Could he fight like one of our warriors?"

"You'd have to ask him how well he fought. He fights with the Chosen Valkyries of Midgard, Thor."

Thor smiled. "That is a hard job but it takes a strong warrior to do so. Thank thee, Brother. Rest well. We are handling it." He left, going to his suite to think. It had a positive that he'd be seeing Jane Foster again soon but losing his mother wasn't worth that price.

***

Xander looked up from cooking over the fire pit of his present camping spot, nodding at the man standing there. "Aren't you supposed to be somewhere more civilized?" he asked blandly.

"Probably," the mage said, sitting across from him. "You threw a spanner in the works, lad."

Xander grinned. "I'm not a boy, Ethan. Not anymore. And you're welcome. Did you want the elves to destroy parts of your old college?"

"Frankly I wouldn't care about that," he said dryly.

Xander shrugged, poking the fire logs. "What else is new beyond that I'm somehow a chaos source of inspiration?"

"Well, yes, you are," he said with an evil smirk. "Also, I have heard rumors that you denied your bloodline?"

Xander snorted. "They had a few good things going but they were against what I'm called to do." He stared at him. "That and they expected me to be in Wisdom."

Ethan shook his head. "That is not your strong suit." Xander smirked at him. "Now what? That could have helped you muchly."

"Or I could go to a few places and swear my allegiance and become a living avatar," he said blandly. "There's about nine of them I have a chance of making it in." Ethan gaped. Xander stared back. "Which, again, would go against the things I do daily."

"One of the higher beings thought you turned Anya down because you were scared of what you became."

"No, I'd make sure that never happened." He sighed. "I'm not afraid of being a construction worker for life, Ethan, and I knew then that something was seriously stupid in that. I was still living in Sunnydale and out of shape for patrol? I had kids I let live in Sunnydale?" Ethan gaped. "It was better for her if I didn't leave her behind because I fell during a battle. If I didn't leave her and my kids behind if and when I fall in a battle." Ethan slowly swallowed. "That and doing this isn't exactly soul defining. It's pretty wearing. I couldn't imagine Anya handling the end of all the old stuff and us moving that way easily. She would've had to have given up most of her stuff.

"I'd still probably be out and around training the slayers. Thinking back, she would've hated this life too. She hated that I helped Buffy and the group but she couldn't have stopped me because that would've meant we both died. She wanted kids and had no patience or compassion for them. Beyond that, I knew it was false when it showed we had kids. I'm infertile and have been since I was born." He shrugged. "It did make me pause to think about things I had been ignoring. Which I'm sure she figured out a lot of. We were back to friends when she died. I know it would've led her to cheat and I'm not going to put up with that."

"Yet you did."

"I barely kissed, nothing more. And I learned my lesson when Spike hurt Cordelia."

Ethan nodded once. "All right. Now what? You're about to have to prove yourself."

"I noticed you were a projection sent by something higher Ethan. There's a reason that they call me the One Who Sees Too Much." He grinned. "I'm going to have a good dinner then get up to beat the shit out of that problem. Isn't that the way the script usually goes?"

"They don't read the same books, boy."

"Neither do I. I read comic books and everyone has a tragic issue." He shrugged. "So what else is new?" He tasted his stew and settled in to eat. "I'd offer but astral projections don't eat, even when sent by higher powers."

Ethan looked smug. "You think you have it figured out?"

"No. But I think someone's screwy somewhere and I do see things like that too." He ate another bite. Ethan stared. Xander smiled before eating a third bite. Ethan disappeared. Xander finished his dinner and cleaned up his campsite then pulled something out to check it. The last little bit of the carvings were cleaned up before the higher being showed up. Xander sighed and cut himself on the blade then stood up, tapping the tip on the ground. The sword glowed. The being smirked and lunged. Xander avoided it and fought it back until it tripped into the fire. Xander sighed, throwing something onto it since it was screaming. The little bundle he had gotten off a native witch made the demon higher go up in a huge plume of blue flames. Xander settled in to clean up the blade again and then went to nap in his truck after driving off by a few miles.

He looked up once he found a new camping spot. "Thanks, Powers. I needed to prove that to myself."

***

Willow frowned at the new video that popped into her inbox. The demon network people she had...blackmailed via magic had produced a lot of stuff on what Xander was doing. She was worried about him being alone over there. No one to talk to. No way to talk to his trainees. All alone and without anyone to remind him to eat a real meal now and then. She watched the soundless video with him joking with some of the natives around one of the slayers. She frowned.

"They speak English over there? Huh. That's handy." She kept watching the video. At least he looked happy and when something larger attacked he did handle it then brought the girl over to show her how and why it had worked. So that was handy, even if he shouldn't be fighting anything. She took her laptop down to where Giles, Buffy, and Andrew were having a meeting, putting it in front of Giles to show him. "I was worried he was having to pantomime things but apparently they speak English too."

Giles gave her a long look then shook his head. "Yes, some countries do have a smattering after the dirty colonial periods but Xander has learned a few native languages, Willow."

"He can't speak regular english," she protested.

"Neither do you or Buffy," Giles said dryly. Andrew giggled. "Though it is good Sama is doing so well." He turned off the video. "However you got that, thank them for me. Xander has been filing field reports but nothing on anything major they've seen."

"Maybe they're not seeing anything," Buffy said.

Andrew stared at her. "Africa is a continent bigger than the US and Canada combined. Do you really think they have nothing going on down there?" he asked. She scowled at him. He sighed and pulled out his phone to get onto a site. "It's a demon site that tracks the slayers and all of us." He let Giles see the file on Xander and Sama. "A few of the girls have had problems and not told anyone. It's why I've been calling Destiny randomly and cheering her up. She just had a horrible break-up and needed a comfy shoulder." He leaned on his counter while Giles read it over.

Giles looked at him. "How reliable?"

"I'd assume some of the ones down there were paying attention." He smiled. "Sama's not going to be bad. She's a bit girly girl but she's happy with doing her duty because it means her family's protected. Her father got killed a few years ago. It means people leave her mother alone too. Her mother was hoping to remarry soon but Sama's told her that any man who came into the house has to be a *good* man and she'd never let her mother go to the ones that keep trying to bother her. She's very opinionated but right. They need to be good men.

"She pointed out she had a younger sister and brother that had to become good people and leeches like have been hitting on her aren't going to help them be good people. The priest in the village agreed too." Giles smiled, handing the phone back. "He's been busy but not too busy. He stays to train for a while then goes to check on the others, doing a rotation as they each find their own strengths within the gifts. Then he shows up every two months or so to go over new things as they grow up. A six-year-old can't really use a sword but the older girls are getting those skills first."

"That's sensible and since he's the only one it's reasonable he's traveling between them. Thank you, Andrew. We did worry about what that boy was getting up to down there."

"Mostly he's a bit tired right now. Too much traveling and he doesn't have the time to take a day off now and then because it could mean one of the girls gets attacked. Thankfully he got most of them to more safe areas. One girl had been in lower Sudan." Giles grimaced. "One had been in Nairobi too. He got them both moved to somewhere safer, even helped the families move from what I heard."

Buffy considered it. "He could probably use some help."

"Yeah but you can't send any of the slayers down there, Buffy. They'd die in the heat and the dirt," Andrew said dryly. "I'm sure he'd like it after he made sure it wasn't one of the snotty ones." He grinned. "Because I'm about to smack a few around too."

She nodded. "I've tried, Andrew."

"I can try, right?" he asked Giles, who sighed but nodded. "Thanks." He looked at Willow. "Why are you back from that coven already?"

"They were mean," she said, scowling at him. "Stay out of it."

"If I had summoned that goddess, I'd be dead," he said bluntly. She huffed off. He looked at Buffy. "By the way, the local community is making *grand* plans for her witch burning."

She winced. "Ow." She went to talk to Willow about her magical mistakes. Someone had to and the last time Giles tried someone had to turn him back from a mouse. Then the coven had talked to Willow for a few hours until she cried and stomped off. Clearly, not strong enough to stop her. Nicely, Buffy even interrupted Willow's spell to 'help' Xander. Thankfully.

***

Xander looked over from his current relaxation day at a demon mafia-run pool and spa, staring at the half-formed 'guardian spirit' that was floating next to him like a blob of butter. Then he looked at one of the demons in there. "Anyone want Willow's nagging helper?" he called quietly. "Before I have to talk to her about it?" One laughed but came over to capture it and walked off nibbling on the spell energy. In Cleveland, Willow screamed and held her head as the spell was ripped from her. Xander sipped his drink and relaxed again. He was mostly safe here and he really did need the day off.

***

Xander jogged into a temple, staring up at the living statue. "Sorry. Getting away from a witch on the rag."

The demon god/king sighed. "I am not over that one."

"Any idea who is?"

"The one she prays to?"

"She doesn't really listen to Hecate when she prays to her."

"She should stop her for that."

"Where's her temple?"

"I don't believe anyone has one these days."

"Then how do you expect her to be fixed?" Xander asked.

"There are ways."

"Yes, but if I go stomp on her for that, she's going to die for it this time." He pointed at the spell waiting. He stepped closer to the doorway and it lit up. "I do believe you're over the unnatural elements in this area."

The demon king came down to check the curse that was attempting to get the mouthy human. He frowned. "What witch is that?" he demanded.

"Rosenburg."

The demon king looked at him. "You're that one."

"I am the one-eyed seer. She thinks I'm helpless and lonely." He stared at the demon king. "I heard she decided I'd never be able to communicate with anyone so I must be horrible at pantoming every bit of the training for the local slayers. Someone showed her a video of me training one of the girls and she decided it was good all of Africa spoke English." The demon burst out laughing while patting him on the head. "Is that curse for anything in particular?"

"It's to make you pregnant so you're not alone and she has an heir."

Xander sighed, looking up. Then at the demon king. "Can one of you go talk to her? Please?"

"For a fee, mortal," he said with a smirk.

Xander smirked back and pulled something out of his bag to hold up. The demon king laughed until Xander set it off and it burned the demon's physical form into atomic bits. "What fee did you want beyond being liberated?"

The demon's shade moaned. "You're mean."

Xander smiled. "I learned from Rosenburg!"

"Clearly. I will intervene since she is bothering my temple. You will leave my temple."

"Sure. As soon as the curse goes. Or else I'm going to have to stay here for the *whole* pregnancy." The demon shuddered and faded out to talk to that witch. Xander went to look at the altar, looting a few books and one demon part that was sealed up. Then he left once the curse was gone. Without that demon part, no matter how many souls he consumed he couldn't get a new corporeal form. He drove off calling a warning in to Dawn. "I sicced the demon king's shade on her for trying to make me pregnant." He hung up and turned on his satellite radio to a pop station. Two problems solved with one witch's stoning.

***

Dawn hung up and looked out at the screaming that was starting. "She tried to curse Xander into a male pregnancy so she'd have someone to spoil," she yelled.

"Oh, God, no," Giles moaned.

Andrew looked up. "If I ask, can whichever of you that's a chaos god bring her home to teach her common sense?" he called. "Please? I'll vow to do your will for a year if you teach her sense!"

Giles' phone rang with a text message. He scowled at Andrew before looking at it. "One of the Coven was scrying and she said if you should, she'll be burning you in your own oven."

"Not likely and they should start with that one!" He pointed out toward the front room. "Before I do. I don't want to be pregnant. People would start to think I was like that one guy and turning over from being a girl. Which I'm not!" He stomped off, going out there. "Hey!" he shouted over the screaming. "Stop it! She brought it on herself by casting curses at Xander to make him pregnant!"

"Ewww!" most of the slayers shouted.

Buffy sighed. "I knew Xander was tired of the protection stuff."

"That's not protecting him. He's somewhere they'd put him to death for being weird," Andrew said. "The same as they nearly did when she turned him into the puppy the last time." She winced and nodded, walking off sighing. "Ladies, let the demon king teach her some sense before we ask Illyria to do it for us." He pointed. They gladly left her alone. Andrew looked at Willow. "Not even Warren was as wacky as you've become. And he was fully mentally broken." He walked off, closing the door so he didn't have to hear if she screamed due to the torture.

Giles went in there to straighten this out and make sure she didn't do more than learn her lesson. One of the coven showed up to help defend her but the demon told her what she had done that day so it turned into a nagging of the witch for not mentoring her better and then yelling at the younger witch for having no sense.

***

Xander ended up inside another temple a few days later, shaking his head as the curse hit the shields on the temple.

"We do not like your kind here," the female demon queen sneered. "Especially with how you paid back that one that helped you."

Xander looked at her. "Then he shouldn't have tried to sleep with one of the slayers, huh?" He pointed. "She's praying to you."

She huffed but checked and groaned. "We need to do something to that one. Something permanent."

"Hey, bring back Tara without having to bring back the First Evil," Xander quipped. He grinned. "Before she curses me to more powers or something. I don't know why she wanted my fish taint to come back out....."

"It'd probably kill you since we're nowhere near the ocean," the demon queen said.

"We're within a hundred miles. I can swim in lakes and rivers." She groaned, shaking her head. "Sorry, but still makes no sense."

"Clearly neither do you. Mermaids are sea creatures, boy."

"Then explain the one I found by Victoria Falls," he complained. She stared at him so he pulled up a video of it to show her. She groaned and shook her head. "Yeah. So not all of us are. So I could go take over a lake. Then again, we detoxed most of it so I doubt I'd turn too far. Probably just far enough to get me killed."

"Probably," she said happily.

He stared at her. "Then you'd have to deal with one of the older watchers coming down to train this continent's slayers." He looked out there, frowning. "Why is there snow?"

She got up to look and groaned. "Oh, Gods Below!"

Xander called home. "Giles, why is Willow or someone making it snow in Africa?" he asked. "Yes, near the equator. I'm just below it, about the ten degree line actually and it's starting to have a blizzard. I'm pretty sure there's a witch somewhere and since the one up there that we will not mention the name of so she can't find me to come curse me with the fish curse in person is the only one I'd know who'd do that...." He listened. "Ah. So her curse to bring out the fish taint...." He grinned at the demon queen. "She's drunk."

"Clearly. The snow?"

"A very young witch who hates the heat." He sighed, rubbing over his forehead. "Tell me where and I'll travel there. Well, the jeep is open but I did pack a jacket at least, Giles. I'm prepared for very cold desert nights so I'll be okay enough until I can find her. Just...tell me where and please stop the drunken redhead with her fish thing?" He hung up. A few minutes later he got coordinates from Andrew. He sent back a 'thank you' as he looked that area up. "About fifty miles away. Great." He looked up then jogged out to his jeep to put on more clothes so he could go find that mini witch and instruct her so she wouldn't turn into Willow.

The demon queen groaned but went back to her throne after starting a fire in her fireplace.

***

Xander put up the video conferencing software and started it, pointing at the man there in the office then at the kid. "She really wants to talk to Giles about why she decided Africa needed a snow storm to freeze all the bad people who were bothering her village." The old watcher scowled at him. "She's looking up to Willow thanks to some news stories."

"That's a bad sign of her turning toward chaos magic," that watcher said with a grimace.

"Too late."

"Let me call him from nagging Andrew." He dialed the kitchen. "Rupert, your lost chick is calling about the witch that created snow in Africa who seems to look up to your one that you need to lose." He hung up. "Give him a minute, Harris. Has no one gotten any reports from you recently?"

"I send those to the main email. Who checks those?" he asked dryly, smirking some.

"I'll beat the redhead myself," he sighed.

"Please do. She tried to pull up the fish taint the other night."

The old watcher shook his head. "Charming of her." He got out of the way.

Giles sat down. "I see you've found her?"

"She looks up to Willow and did what she'd do to stop the bad men who were attacking her village," Xander said. "We need to instruct her as to having sense with her skills before she does the same sort of bad spells for a bad reason."

Giles nodded. "Yes, we should. We can instruct her in the basics and send her the books so she can find balance in her gifts."

Xander nodded. "Might help. Do we have anyone down this way that could help her?"

"One in Ghana I believe. We used to have one in Madagascar but it's been years since anyone's heard from her. I'll check on that later." Xander translated that for him. The young one said something back so Xander translated that. They had a good, long chat about her gifts and reasonable uses of it. Including defending her village. He taught her how to grow nibbling trees that would eat people like that instead. It was safer and wouldn't hurt anyone else like the snow had.

***

Xander looked up from eating at his campfire as he appeared somewhere else. Fire and all. Plus his jeep and the rest of his camp. He looked at his tent then sighed and packed it since people were staring at him. He shrugged. "I was in the DRC a minute ago," he said when a cop stomped his way. "I have no idea why I'm here instead."

"Who are you?" the officer demanded. "Put that fire out!"

Xander looked at him. "I'm Council, I was just in Africa until I got summoned here; give me a second to pack the tent and gun I have out that's more dangerous? Please?" He packed that away and used the bucket of dirt he had dug from the firepit to put it out. Then he packed the jeep and found his phone. "Okay, so I'm somewhere that we're speaking American English," he said in greeting, sounding sarcastic. "Why?" He blinked at the officer. "Okay, the slayers are having a battle in a few hours and we need help. Where am I needed?" He looked around. "Somewhere. I don't see any signs. Where am I?"

"Brooklyn."

"I'm in Brooklyn, Giles. Where do I need to be?" He wrote down the address. "I can probably find that within an hour hopefully. Thanks." He hung up and held up the address. "How do I get there?"

"That way," he said with a point. "What battle?"

Xander shrugged. "This is the first I've heard of it. Three hours, some sort of park, something summoned, huge issue that'll take a weapon that the girls don't know how to use. That's all Giles said." He pointed. "That way? Bridge?" He nodded, calling that in. "Okay. Is it easily found?"

"No. The local slayer house is in an alley. Go .... take this road that way, across the bridge, and be in the right lane, then go left a block after the bridge and you're on the right street." He called that in and Xander smiled and nodded, jumping into his jeep to drive off. The higher ups in the police department and the city needed to know the Council was going to have *something* happen again. That way they knew what to complain about and when to hide.

***

Xander finally found the house and parked, walking over to knock on the door. Not a slayer since a guy answered it. "Aren't the slayers here?"

"You a boyfriend?" the guy sneered.

"No, I'm a Xander and I'm their tactician and weapons guy. I got yanked from Africa to come help with something?" The guy let him in. "Thanks. Are you a boyfriend?"

"Yeah, husband." He shook his hand. "I'm Sarabeth's husband."

"Cool." They walked into the meeting room. "Okay, give me facts." The girls stared. "Giles called me back to help you ladies."

"We need you to fire off the weapon," one of the girls said. She handed over the files they had.

Xander smirked. "I took out his sister two weeks ago. Are you taking down the summoning circle and arch too?" She groaned, leaning on the table. He grinned at them. "So just the demon? Sure, I have a few things that'll do that." He went to get it out of the jeep, unhooking the guy who was trying to tow it. He put his Cleveland parking sticker back on the rearview mirror, making the towtruck driver shudder and back off, shaking his head.

"We've got a battle in a few hours, dude. I just got summoned from Africa for it." The guy nodded and ran off, calling that in. Xander carried in the three cases and came back to get the rest of his stuff. "In case I nearly get towed again," he quipped as he put it into a corner. He checked the three cases he might need. "I can do that. How soon?"

"About an hour."

"Do you know how to get there since I don't?" Xander asked. They nodded. "Cool. Let's go set up early so we can scare the normals off." They took the cases for him since he was just a *man* and they were slayers. Xander looked at the other two guys in the house, who both shrugged. "I get that same sort of 'you're a guy' thing from Buffy and Willow. That's why Willow tried to knock me up last month."

They shuddered but followed. The park wasn't that far away. The ladies rushed in to drive off the picnicking people. Xander whistled. "People, I'm with the Council and we're having something here within an hour!" he shouted. "Do you really want to help us beat things?" The people who had sneered at the hyper slayers got up and packed in a reasonably fast time before hurrying off. They even took their litter. "Thank you." He grinned at the staring slayers. "No one wants to *help* during them. It works."

"We're supposed to be quiet about things," Sarabeth complained.

"And yet, there's huge amounts of press attention on you ladies thanks to the battle in LA. I had a mini witch in Africa who *really* looks up to Willow create a blizzard to take out the bad guys trying to invade her village. They don't even have the internet so she didn't get to see all the sites to you girls."

"Since when?" one of the other guys demanded.

"Since LA," Xander said. He pulled them up on his phone. "That's how I keep track of my girls. I showed Andrew one of them." The girls gathered to look at those, then one called Giles to rant about that and them supposedly having to lay low. Xander grinned. "Remember, that makes you a role model so there's no going out for anything but club hunting looking like a ho. They note when Buffy does and wonder why she's wearing booty skirts to go talk to principals."

"Yeah, we can do that," one said. She looked at her husband, who grinned and kissed her. "Thank you for not being too freaked out."

"Welcome." He looked at Xander. "Do you have one?"

"I have two pages on the various sites but they mostly just wonder how I did something." He grinned. "It helps." They nodded. "I found my last date that way." He walked the cases over to where he'd probably be at the best angle. "Okay, we're sure it's here?" They nodded, pointing at the circle. "Why can't we interrupt that?"

"We have no idea you can do that," Sarabeth said.

Xander walked over to look then he nodded. "We can do a few things to interrupt. Including setting it on fire with some gas poured over the lines. Or we can just be mean and find a shovel...." He got his camp shovel and dug up the circle. Someone started to scream and rushed at them but it was a park worker. The girls told him why. Then the sorcerer showed up crying that they had ruined all her work so she'd have to use blood to call it. Xander hit her with the shovel, knocking her out.

"No, I don't think you do," he said, staring at her while leaning on the shovel. "We want your shit less than we do Willow's when she's in a bad girl mood." He dug up the rest of the circle and the archway being held up by magic dissolved. "There." He smiled at the staring girls. "That's done with, right? No sensing anything?" They shook their heads. "Sometimes the most practical solution is the right one. You can't dig up all of them to interrupt them but there's some incredibly practical ways of canceling out summoning circles. Including cutting lines and burning them with gas or even a potion in a few cases.

"That one could've been taken out by a potion but it would've poisoned the nearby trees. They never gave you that book in training?" They shook their heads. "Wow. We need to get Giles to copy that and a few others to make sure the slayers all get those." He leaned on the shovel again. "Did you get the Brandurst book? The Ballinger books? The reference work on witches to stop one in the middle of something with a taser?" They all shook their heads. "Someone needs kicked."

He called. "It's me. We canceled it. Yes, that worked well, Giles, but the girls here didn't know they could do that. They haven't seen a lot of the books we read over your shoulder to figure out stuff. Brandurst might've helped today. Ballinger? Tolbert's book on witch ending? Klie's book on witch ending? The green book in Troll that's on mystical weapons?" He listened to him wonder about that one. "The lime green one, Giles. I read it back in tenth grade. Giles, Troll is a fairly known language among the gaming people. Andrew can probably read it too. Plus the two in Elvish. I'm not that fluent in that one."

He smiled at the ladies. "He said he'll have copies made for you guys so you can learn from them. "Yeah, might help. No, I dug it up. The archway dissolved. She's awake enough to start crying again about her plastic surgery nose." He looked at the witch. "Keep complaining that you paid five grand for the nose, sweetheart. I can make you spend another twenty to fix the rest of your face." She went limp and gave the officers a begging look. Xander looked at the same officer.

"I didn't learn to put up with whining from witches unless it was Willow." He listened. "Exactly. No, she summoned me campfire, jeep, tent, and everything. Which is nice, it means I didn't lose anything this time. Yeah, I said the jeep. No, I've got tags from Africa, Giles. Thanks." He hung up and looked up, shaking his head. "Giles will find some way to get me back there, hopefully with my jeep."

The girls smiled. "It could be worse. It could be Willow."

"Willow summoned a hell goddess a few months back so the goddess could instruct her worshipper who had done her summoning incorrectly," Xander said. They all groaned. "So not the wackiest she's done." He put his shovel back into a case and carried them off. "Plant a tree, it's always good for the earth," he told an officer. "The summoning is dead so it won't hurt anything."

"Thanks," one said. "Are you like the Lone Ranger? Leaving a silver bullet?"

Xander looked at his gun on his ankle. "I only have three left but I can make more." The officer glared. He grinned back. "I'm the trainer for the slayers in Africa. I hunted with Buffy in Sunnydale." The officer groaned, walking the witch off. "So...." He clapped his hand. "I need a cheeseburger badly if Willow hasn't screwed with my bank account again. Can we stop and get one on the way back?" The girls all nodded, taking him to a good local place to get one. Willow had bothered it but he had enough for a burger.

She put it back when he complained and threatened her with the FBI for embezzlement. Plus put the stuff she had hacked into his trust fund account. She also emailed him notice of how he was getting back to Africa. He had to correct the place, the fact he had heavier weapons, and that she had brought the jeep too. She sighed and said they'd reverse it later. So he got to go back to Brooklyn to make it easier on the witches. It took a few hours of sitting in the middle of the street but that was okay. He got a pizza too. He landed next to his former campsite and it was better.

***

Xander was in a hotel when the call for the meeting came through. Which is what he had planned. "It's me. I'm here," he reported into his headset. The others joined in thanks to Willow and another person, joining all the training watchers around the globe. Not that many of us. Xander mentally counted. "Are we missing two?"

"Killed in action I'm afraid," Giles said from behind his desk. He looked up. "Xander has brought up a point. We have books that the slayers should have learned and have not been exposed to, even here in the house."

"Then how is he training his?" one of them demanded.

"I made notes. When you're sixteen and learning new things, you take notes." He held up his binder. "That's the second edition including notes on things we've handled down here that aren't in the books. Including the few vampire species we have."

"Africa was never studied very well," Giles admitted. "We didn't fit in very well even during the colonial era." Xander nodded. "Can you send me a copy of those, Xander?"

"Of course. It's in your email. Willow wanted to know what I was teaching that they weren't about a week ago." Giles looked to his left and had some papers a few minutes later. "That's awfully thin."

"They're adding more paper," Giles said, flipping through them. "You did make notes about nearly everything."

Xander nodded. "The girls were amused about Moloch and wondered if that's why the watchers hate computers. By the way, we weren't the first to do that. There's two online and hints that ours is still in bits and pieces here and there." Giles stared at him oddly. "Someone found that name on Match.com."

Giles groaned, shaking his head. "I'm assuming that's a dating site?" Xander and a few others nodded.

Willow leaned into view. "It is?"

"It was. Sonia was dealing with one so I had her point her problem demon on the internet toward it. It's why that site went down for a day. They called it a denial of service attack." She shook her head as she got out of camera view. "Sonia's internet demon is still around because she can't figure out how to fix it. There's no way she can trick it into doing an exorcism on itself. The other's on the Indian servers somewhere. It likes gold and pretty girls."

Giles made notes, shaking his head as he got the rest of Xander's notes. He went back to it, letting the others see and discuss if the girls needed it. Xander sipped his tea and let them ask him stuff. He pointed out a few things had come in very handy, including how to unsummon things.

"If we teach the girls all these things they'll think they don't need us," one of the other watchers complained.

"What are they going to do if you're taken out by someone?" Xander asked. "Or you're not near where they are when they need to hunt something."

"Someone?" he asked coldly.

"In your area, you're more likely to be taken out by a someone than a something," Xander said. "Rebels, drug lords, assholes who are drunk.... You know, the same ones that took out the guy before you?" He shifted. "Beyond that, we're not with every single slayer during all their hunts. I've got nine underneath me in training and I'm doing great if I see them every two months. They need to be able to handle stuff when I'm not there and I always rush back to handle bigger things with them. But I'm still only one guy and I can't be everywhere at once. They have to be able to handle some major things without me. Down here, that would include some things that are usually more powerful. There's been no slayer hunting in Africa for generations because you guys pulled them out to Europe and the colonies in the Americas."

"Asia has the same problems but the locals developed ways of taking care of some of them," the watcher over that region said.

"We have some of that but we also have some smaller cult religions that've been wound into Christianity thanks to missionaries. I've run into three different temples recently, including having to take refuge in two to get away from Willow's wacky ideas."

"Hey!" was complained off camera.

"I'm not the one that tried to make me pregnant," Xander shot back.

"Sorry, I was a bit tipsy."

"AA," Xander shot back.

"Enough, children," Giles complained. "Yes, Xander, she has quit drinking again as we noted she was doing about the same as when she did that will spell."

"No, I haven't ended up drawing demons even more than usual and having to run and hide from *them*," he said dryly. "Have you ended up blind?"

"No," he admitted. "But enough of that. On to the things the girls need to know." He went back to the notes and the watchers arguing about the girls 'needing' and them 'wanting' them to know. Xander motioned his present slayer over, she was having a meal in the corner of the room shaking her head over the whole thing. "Oh, Ayo, correct?"

"Yes, Mr. Giles," she said in her native language and Xander translated while pulling up an online speech to text translator. He handed her the headset and went to get a drink while they asked her things. Maybe they'd listen to her where they wouldn't listen to him. By the end of ten minutes she was snapping at a few of them. He looked back and said something quietly, making her repeat that to them. That shut the group whining up and Giles was amused. Willow was pouting but yay.

Someone knocked on the door. Xander walked over to answer it. "Problems?" he asked the officer.

"You are a Watcher?" he asked in fairly broken English.

Xander smiled and nodded, answering in the local language. "I am. I'm Watcher Xander Harris. I came from the Sunnydale team and I'm the watcher over Africa's slayers. Is there a problem I need to handle for you?"

The officer nodded. "Very large, just nearby."

"Ayo, we've got an issue. We'll call them back."

She waved and signed off, packing their things up with the dinner to go on the way. They followed the officer out to the problem's area, finding the military there waiting. Xander stared, blinking. "I thought we'd never see another in my lifetime," he said quietly and calmly. He looked at her. Then he took a picture and sent it to Giles to explain what was so important. He looked at the stomping, glaring military guy with the medals. "It's called an Ascension. It's a human that turned into a demon, that's what's called a pure demon," he said. "It can only happen during an eclipse." The military guy nodded once, looking confused. "We have to blow the head off. Somehow. The only one in known recent history we had to blow them up in a building to do that. Otherwise, we need to blow off the head." The demon was watching them talk, looking very amused at them.

"Artillery?" Ayo suggested.

"Nothing I have will do that," Xander said, looking at what they had. The military guy was calling out for higher weapons and maybe air support. Xander nodded. "Maybe. Okay, people in the way? It does eat people."

"We cleared," the military guy said.

"Good!" Xander looked then sighed. "I thought we'd only have one in our life. My graduation with Buffy was that bad."

Ayo looked at him. "That's what was at graduation?" she demanded with a point.

Xander nodded. "Yeah. And like this one, he did the largest version. This one might be a bit bigger than that one. Ours was like ninety feet." She shuddered. "That's why we blew up a school with it in it."

The military guy nodded once. "If we had one...." He turned to start yelling orders. He looked at the team. "You two?"

"We're baiting it," Xander said. He looked at her. "You, sit and guard the jeep." She nodded, sitting in it. "She's only sixteen," he told the military guy, heading out there. "How long?"

"Twenty minutes," he called. "Air support."

"Okay." Xander cut his arm and waved it. "You couldn't even do as good as Wilkins," he called. "He at least had a whole hellmouth for his needs." The demon lunged at him with a laugh. Xander dodged out of the way, smirking. "So pathetic. I mean, even the slayer's decided you're so pathetic she doesn't need to come out here." The demon went toward her so she fired one of the weapons off at him. He grumbled but went back after Xander. Xander played dodge-snout with him until the plane got there then ran while the jet targeted the head.

He got blown off his feet with the blast but he'd be okay. "Not even a nibble," he sighed, flipping onto his back to pant and catch his breath. "Damn." One of the military guys helped him up. "Thanks." They handed him water, letting him gulp it on the way back to the jeep. He pulled out his laptop to get onto the right page. He showed the military leaders the page on that problem. He had a good translating program on the laptop so he did that. The military leader guy nodded as he read. "So...." He pointed. "Took ninety years in that form."

"We'll be aware on any eclipse. It was four days earlier."

Xander looked at him. "I'd hate to be the guy who has to cut into his stomach to count the remains he's digesting."

"Me too," he agreed, smiling some. "Glad I'm not that low in the military too."

Xander nodded. "Me too. Giles doesn't pay me or her enough for that." He looked at her. "What did you learn from that?"

"It's gross."

"You're sounding like Buffy again," he joked with a grin. "Do a report for Giles." She waved his phone and went back to it. She had taken video and was typing in a short report to go with it. She sent it and let the military guy take it to copy down the film. They hadn't filmed it. They handed the phone back and tracked the demon snake's path back. A few of them got ordered to open the stomach area. They complained but let the watcher/slayer team go back to the hotel to rest. He deserved it for that bit of exercise.

***

Giles looked at the film, sharing it with the watcher meeting. "Ayo's only sixteen and they didn't have big enough weapons according to her report. He made her stay in the jeep while they got air support." They watched the film together.

Buffy and Willow both watched from the corner. "I'm *so* going to yell at Xander," Buffy complained. "How dare he risk himself that way!"

"Him or the sixteen-year-old trainee slayer," Giles said.

"Him," Willow sighed. "Unfortunately. We need to get him some help. He can't do that. Playing ...snout-soccer isn't a good way to fight that!"

"Whole lot better than running all the way through the school with one chasing you. At least he had open ground," Buffy said. "Though, yeah, Giles, he needs more help."

"There's not many who can handle such areas," he said dryly. "Unless you want to go, Buffy?"

"I don't think I can handle that stuff. Africa seems less happy than Cleveland and a lot more dirty. Xander was really dirty."

Giles looked at her. "He was not."

"The t-shirt was filthy, Giles."

"He got a bit dusty playing...snout-soccer," he said. He sighed, looking at them. "Though I agree, no area should only have one watcher. We really must have more of us trained to handle things as he does. Not many of us could handle Africa."

The guy in Asia nodded. "Or here. I've lost one to that and nearly lost two of the girls to sharing regional foods." He shook his head with a sigh. "If we could find some, I'd gladly take in apprentices to train."

"Xander too. Though he has been spreading how to handle things when possible so even if everyone is too far away, someone can handle an emergency until someone more trained gets there."

"I do that," the guy in Brazil agreed. "The natives asked and we can't be there with them. They hate us quite vehemently."

Giles nodded. "Many native peoples probably do as they see us as problematic for their way of life. If I could find more to send Xander I'd do so." He rubbed over his eyebrow. "So we're agreed we should share that information with the other slayers?" They all grimaced but nodded. "Good. I'll use Xander's notes as a template. Buffy can go over those things for the girls here in the main house."

"I don't know most of them myself," she said. "You left Xander and Willow in the books, not me." He looked at her. "You know I'm not the booky sort, Giles."

"Point, dear. I'll go over those with the local slayers." She grinned. "You will be doing sparring practice for the next week to spare Faith however. She needs to do something else for a bit."

"Fine. Even though the girls don't do as good with me," she sighed.

"It's that or retire and learn to do something meaningful for the slayers in some other way. We'd dearly love to see you graduate college, Buffy. Your mother would've adored it as well."

She winced. "I sucked at school. That whole not being booky thing again." She sighed. "I'll consider it." She got up and walked off to talk to the girls and Faith. Faith wasn't really like the other slayers either. "I just got told I'm doing sparring for you, Faith. Also, Giles is getting Xander's notes from the old books way back in high school because he found stuff the girls should know."

Faith nodded. "Okay. Sure. I could like that." She sipped her coffee, going back to the tv. She'd find out what Giles was thinking later since Buffy was horrible in sparring and tended to do more gossiping than teaching the girls how to defend their lives.

Buffy sat down. "We've got new video from down there. There was an ascended demon." Faith choked, shaking her head, feet flopping off the footstool as she sat up to clear her windpipe. One of the younger slayers patted her on the back to help. "He's okay. He played snout-soccer with it until they got a plane to blow it up."

Faith stared at her. "Excuse me?"

"Yup." She nodded, grimacing. "They didn't have a school to blow it up in. Ayo, the slayer he's with, is only sixteen so he made her stay in the car and went to taunt it." She grimaced. "Twenty minutes of dodging the snout then a huge thing from a plane hit it in the skull."

Faith got up and stomped into the office. "A what?" she demanded. Willow waved her over to show her that video. "Damn!"

"Language please," Giles said. "I'm on with the other watchers, Faith." He smiled at her. "We saw it together."

She stared at him. "We need to stop that! He could've gotten really hurt!"

"Usually we hear that argument from me," Willow quipped.

Faith glared at her. "I know what he means to the other slayers," she shot back. She took the computer out to put it onto the bigger screen. The girls all watched, a few sniffling some. They all sent Xander messages making sure he was okay. "Let's go over what you do when you see one," she ordered. "Beyond peeing yourself and demanding a military."

"Hope you have weapons and explosives," Buffy quipped. "And some way to taunt it into the trap you need to build."

One of the older slayer trainees raised her hand. "Can I send that to my big brother? He's in the Air Force and this way they know too in case we need them? That way we don't have to do more than point and whimper while begging for weapons?"

Faith nodded, handing her the laptop. "That's not a bad idea. Any other ideas beyond B's of trap it?" The girls went over what they could do and why Xander was able to bait it. Buffy suggested as a human it had wanted him as a boyfriend but they all ignored that. Even if the demon had been smirking at him and hadn't tried *too* hard to eat Xander, just knock him over.

That slayer sent the file to both brothers, one of who was an agent. The government needed to know too.

***

In New York, an agent in a nondescript black suit with a white shirt walked into a room. "Sir," he said, smiling at the guy not in a uniform. "We had a file sent from Africa about a huge problem that happens rarely. One of the slayers is my half-sister and she wanted us to know just in case we saw one. I got this early last night." He put down the keydrive in front of him. "It's a bit nasty. Looking at it, we had one a few years back out in Sunnydale. That's what happened during their graduation. This way your team knows as well. I still need to brief the director." He nodded politely then left.

Captain America picked up the keydrive to run in his laptop Stark had given him. He stared at the creature. "What is that?" He looked at the files, finding the 'ascension details' file. He opened it to look, frowning as he read it over. "Wow. At least he didn't have a red face." He got up and took it back to the tower and to Stark. "Hey."

Stark looked up from soldering a joint on his newest suit. "Huge issue? You look creeped out."

"I am." He put the laptop down, letting him see it.

Stark came over to watch the video. He frowned. "What's that demon? I recognize the guy from the Council."

Steve changed screens. "That's the file they gave me with it."

Stark skimmed it, grimacing. "So that's what that little bitch at Hammer was doing before she got stopped for sacrificing babies." He nodded once. "How rare?"

"We had one in Sunnydale, at some graduation. That's dated a few days ago in Africa."

"Great. Let's look up what they need to see how many more are doing it." He looked at his team leader. "You can help?"

"A lower SHIELD agent gave it to me. His half-sister is a slayer."

"Ah. So they'll hopefully be doing the same searching. If not, we definitely will. Show Bruce. Maybe he's got an idea better than blowing off the head."

"Sure. If we run into one, can we handle that?"

Stark smirked. "I may have something in holding that I never put up for sale, yes." Steve nodded, going to Bruce's lab with the laptop. Stark got back to work. "JARVIS, search out what you need to do that and find anyone who is. Before we find one slithering up the road here in a few months." The AI started to search out anything on ascensions on a side screen.

***

Giles had called a meeting so Xander was back in the US. Starting in DC since that's where the first plane landed so he could switch over. He was met outside Customs by agents. "What evil thing did I do?" he asked, not moving closer.

"As far as we know, nothing, Mr. Harris. We wanted to pick your brain and you have a two hour layover."

"Okay, we can do that. Just don't use truth serum. I react weird and I start to get a bit bloodthirsty. Someone found that out as I tried to stab them. They wanted information on the slayers." He grinned. "Pity."

"We don't need that sort and you hopefully won't be unwilling to give us what we need, sir. We've even got a ride to the other terminal so we can talk in a back hallway without anyone overhearing or panicking."

"Sure." Xander picked up his carry-on and followed them to the golf cart. It was nice of them to give him a ride. His legs were sore from the cramped seating.

***

The agents walked into an ambush of all the agency directors. "Oh, dear," one muttered. "Sirs, problems?"

"What did you find out from the wild card at the Council?" one asked.

"Many things. We asked politely to copy his classification manual. He gave us that and his notes, plus another notebook he's been working on of things the African slayers need to know that the others may not." He put down the copies they had made. "We found out why he was the one that baited the pure demon."

"His slayer was sixteen," the other agent said. "He didn't want to risk her for that."

"Do we know anything more about whoever did that?" their boss asked.

"Not that anyone's told him, sir," the second agent said. "He agreed, we should've asked a few years ago instead of panicking but we understood why we did and all the fits that got thrown as he put it. He's also noted that if anyone should ever try to capture a slayer for testing again, he'd have all the slayers in the US kidnaped, or from whichever country tries that, and they can therefore handle it themselves until the girls decide they want to go back to spare humanity."

The head of SHIELD nodded, smirking some. "Sounds like a mad young guy. Is he anything but that?"

"Crazily genius, Director Fury. He reminds me a lot of some of yours."

Fury nodded. "I've seen that comparison made before. I let Hill talk to him when we need to since he's used to women demanding information from him."

"Yes, he said he was going to his death of nagging," the first agent sighed. "He didn't seem too thrilled but he knew it'd happen. Apparently all the slayers wrote him emails about not doing that again when they saw that baiting time."

Fury nodded. "Me too." He looked at the others then at them. "Did he give you anything practical?"

"Yes, a list of books we'll also need to study to make our own groups to handle things so the slayers don't have as much work," the first agent said. He pulled that out of the copies. "There's ten, and we can make a treaty with Mr. Giles to get into their library to copy them, as long as we can read Latin, or we can perhaps give him someone to translate them into English for later watchers' needs as the old lines could all read that and the boy learned in high school so he could do the research back then."

"They're in Latin?" the FBI director asked, looking amused.

"Some. The ones we'd need, yes. The rest...." He sighed. "They have ones in everything from Troll and Elvish, to a few demon languages to many copies of books in the original languages because those were in storage off-site and the translated versions were blown up in the old building. We have some in Aramaic and other ancient languages. Only two people presently read some of those in the remains of the Council. They have been looking but no one really wants to be associated with those books. They don't want to trust someone untried to let them do it as their dissertation because a wrong translation has led to deaths in the past. We think that's slightly reasonable."

Fury nodded. "I've looked into some of the old Council's works. Even the CIA can't get that dirty at times." The other directors looked at him. "They took out a town that had a vampire feasting to stop it because they'd talk about it. That violated their former secrecy thing. That's why they had a contract out on Harris and Rosenburg for helping Summers."

"When Mr. Harris was joking about Miss Rosenburg's reaction to seeing him, we did get to ask about magic anonymous as he put it," the second agent said. "Apparently that's the purpose of the Devon Coven. She sees them often."

"She was grieving her girlfriend and nearly took out humanity," Fury said.

"Do you know what they've been doing?" the head of the FBI asked. Fury smirked and nodded. "All of it?"

"Nope. No one does but God possibly. We know the bigger things and some of the odder things they've been doing. We've kept track of the ones in delicate areas. Especially since Harris isn't really all that trained outside of what he got on the team in Sunnydale and he's in the harshest spot. Kid's done good, even I have to admit that, but he's handled things in a way that we all thought was notably weird. We've had a few agents run into him and suggest ideas for him to learn from so he'd know how to handle things easier in the future instead of blowing up their sewer system at one point." He smirked. "Took them out but it was probably nasty getting in there."

"So we can put all the ones that can back up the slayers in your people then," the head of the CIA said with a smug look. "After all, if there's people with ancient weapons knowledge they've got to be yours."

"Harris asked not to," the second agent said then coughed to clear his throat when they all stared at him. "While he respects a lot of agents, most of them are not SHIELD due to some of their past deeds. He said he feels about them the same way they feel about him. Sorry, Director Fury."

Fury shrugged. "That's another reason why I have Hill go talk to him whenever we need to find out things. She can put up with them and their weird, unusual ways. Though I don't think I have any agents that can use a sword."

"You have two," the head of the CIA quipped. "We sent them over when we found out they were learning after the LA invasion attempt."

The head of the FBI nodded. "I sent one of mine that I heard was too."

"Yes, they all washed out," Fury said. "Ours are higher goals and they wanted to do things with a lot more oversight. Hill called them thumbsuckers. She sent them to Homeland. What about Homeland?"

"Mr. Harris has stated that if certain members of Homeland Security show up, he has a kill on sight urge for them. I asked why," the first agent said. "He told me it led back to a closed project. That Homeland was their permanent duty assignment as he put it."

The head of Homeland nodded. "I remember them coming in and I wasn't pleased. One's at that meeting." He winced. "Hopefully he'll at least let them explain since they're there to give information. If not, not much lost really. I only vaguely know what they did and that it was disgusting and bad. Not much more than that."

"Genocidal fuckheads as Mr. Harris called them," the second agent quipped.

The head of Homeland nodded once. "Definitely not a loss then. I wonder what they'd do if they got fired."

"Hopefully prison," Fury said. He pulled up something on his tablet and handed it over. "We could only find the description of the project. It was sanitized by the Army and then by Rosenburg."

He looked it over, grimacing. "How disgusting." He handed the tablet back. "I don't blame them for ending the program then."

"They ended it?" the head of the FBI demanded. "How?"

"We have no idea how Harris, Summers, Giles, Rosenburg, McClay, and a vampire that had been behavior chipped by that group took them down," the head of Homeland said. "Besides the fact that the Army was very embarrassed and guessed that their person who turned after dating Miss Summers gave much help since he was a Ranger."

"I heard rumors of them going toward mystical bullshit," Fury said. "Rosenburg was drunk during the last anniversary so I had an agent go chat her up while feeding her rose wine. She's a bit of a cheap drunk and magic seemed to come *real* easily. He had to let the bunny ears wear off for two weeks. The tail faded after a day and thankfully she changed his size back first after she got tired of petting and cuddling him to cry on. Then she turned the rest of the bar back too. The agent nicely got her out of there before they lynched her."

"Mr. Harris said she had tried to knock him up while he was down there," the second agent quipped.

"The snow incident wasn't her though," the first agreed. "It was a young witch who looked up to her and did what she would to save her village from bad people. She's eight."

"That makes sense," the head of Homeland sighed, shaking his head. "Drunk slayers talked a fraternity into stripping for them until Faith found them and screamed. They were told about some cave slayer beer incident on the way back to the house to be yelled at and grounded by Mr. Giles."

"Cave slayer?" the others mouthed then shook their heads. They did not want to know.

The first agent sent that to Mr. Harris. He sent back the recipe and what happened. He let them see it and they all groaned. "I need to save that down because my daughter's thirteen." His partner took down the recipe too. He had teenage boys. They could ask the magic response team to find them someone to do the spell parts.

The others let the meeting end with copying those files for everyone to have one.

***

Giles stopped Xander at the doorway. "He's here to give information. Do not harm him yet."

"Fine. Which Initiative weenie was it?" He dropped his backpack beside the door. "Also, I had two agents show up at the airport in DC to ask questions. I let them copy my classification manual and notes, and suggested which books they'd need and we could really use someone who could translate some of the library again. I also suggested that they not let agents in SHIELD or Homeland back the slayers up."

"Is that wise?"

"Do you know how badly the three agents I've seen handled the demons around them when they showed up on their assignments?" he asked.

"No, I don't believe that's something you wrote a report about," he said dryly. "Screaming?"

"One started to cry. The other two had girlish hissy fits and they weren't even related to their assignment. They were just in the local community. The one that had one with demons involved just got eaten as soon as they realized he wasn't a normal guy because he liked weapons. They thought he might be one of us. I asked when one dropped off his wallet. I mailed it back to SHIELD with a report from the demon." He shrugged. "Then Silima and I took them down and out for being that way."

"I did get that report. Thank you for telling me why they were evil."

"Did you want to hear some girlish screaming of your own?" he asked dryly but quietly.

"No, I do not." He walked them to the conference in the library. "He's finally made it."

"I didn't even miss my connection. The plane had to wait at the gate for the pilot." He settled into the chair, staring at the now-agent. "You have information?"

"I do," he said, trying not to look nervous. "My supervisor sent me to tell you and then I'm leaving Cleveland again, Harris."

"Thank you. Don't warp the girls."

"What did he do?" one of the other watchers complained with a huff at the end.

"He was part of the Initiative," Buffy said. "One of Riley's former team."

"While they were rough, is that really that evil?"

"Do we want the present Council to be associated with genocide?" Xander asked. They all shook their heads. "Then yes it was." He leaned on the table, tossing a notebook at Giles. "The Africa-specific notes I've found and taught the girls."

He flipped through it. "That's good. They don't have staking vampires?" He looked up.

"Two species, very small covens of them. Very out of the way. Most of them have to be beheaded instead."

Giles nodded, going over them. "That's interesting. This cult?" He looked up.

Xander grinned. "Happier now that their god is back asleep."

"Why is it not dead?" one of the old line watchers demanded.

Xander stared at him. "It's nine stories tall, I only had a sword, my axe, and a bit of C-4 with me, and the cult is over six hundred people large. Did you expect me to kill all them and then somehow chop it to bits?" The man piped down. "They wanted it to go back to sleep. We knocked it back out with an herbal thing I learned from a shaman." He flapped a hand around. "It fit the needs of the situation and kept everyone from getting really angry at me and killing me. Since I was between slayers and even then none of them could've taken him out....." He flapped again.

"Fine," he complained. "If you had something larger could you take it out?"

"If I knocked out the cult first? Maybe. It'd almost be easier to activate the portal it's sleeping on top of and send it somewhere else but that's kinda evil of me. We don't want to make another realm mad enough to invade," he said at the heated looks.

"No, we don't," Buffy agreed. "I hate invasions." She looked at Xander. "I heard rumors you saw one."

"You heard *rumors*?" he asked with a grin, staring at Giles.

"I did not share your reports, what few made it to me, with anyone else, Xander." He cleared his throat. "Yes, they had a small invasion in Gabon. It wasn't as large as the one in LA, and the creatures were less human eating...."

"Just wanted DNA and blood," Xander quipped. "No skin or anything icky." Buffy glared at him. He stared back. "I got woken out of a sound sleep in my camping spot on my way to Cameroon, dear. They panicked hard and heard there were watchers around. They flew me there and then back when we figured out how to end them. By the way, acid throwing, lower acid vinegar was what we used. Took a bit, made a gooey mess, but it worked, Giles."

"Thank you." He made that note. "Did you ever identify what they were?" Xander looked around the library and got up to get a book, bringing it back flipping through it until he found it. "These?" he asked, pointing at one.

"Only blue instead of purple and a bit larger. So I'm guessing a cousin. I remembered thinking about a game that had something like that attacking villages and you shot those. You can shoot them, we made shish kabobs with them but it didn't kill them. Then one ran into a food cart and some vinegar hit it. So we built spray guns out of bug spraying canisters and used it on them while some of us kept them from getting near people."

"Good work," he said, making notes on that. "Did you get any pictures?"

"I emailed them at the same time."

"Wonderful. I'll see if we can find them." Buffy was still staring at Xander like he was strange. "As before, he found a way to handle it when necessary, Buffy. You're not the only one that can do so."

"Why would a food cart have vinegar?" she asked.

"Because the Brits like malted vinegar on their fries," one of the younger watchers said dryly.

"I can see why," Xander said. "That one had pickled things that spilled."

"Oh," Buffy said. "Okay, I guess. Good work, Xander."

"Thank you."

"You're still a normal guy."

"Yes, thankfully I am even though Willow tried to pull up my mermaid taint while I was traveling. I had to hide in an ancient demon king's temple to get away from her attempt. Then I killed it and took the stuff it'd need to get back to solid."

She blinked a few times then opened her mouth. "You did WHAT!" she demanded, hopping up.

He stared at her. "I had to hide from Willow somehow," he said dryly. "I've seen a few very old temples that still have inhabitants in them down there." He looked at the oldest watcher at the meeting because he was choking. "What?"

"Which ones?" he gasped out. Buffy came over to help him by pounding him on the back.

Xander went to get his pack and came back with his map and laptop. Giles got handed the laptop once he was in the reports files. He put the map on the table. "This is the one I work from. The key's on the back."

He flipped it over to look then at the map. "Do we know which ones they are?" Xander pointed at the laptop. "Rupert?"

"I'm doing a word search," he sighed. He looked at the file then at Xander. "How many pages should printing take?"

"Half a case of paper," he said dryly. "Save them down for later viewing?"

"That's a wise thing. How do I do that?" Xander came over to do that for him. "Thank you, Xander." Xander let the other watcher have the laptop to look up the temples. The old man huffed but looked it over. He was not amused by how sour his scowl got but his notes were not happy either. He kept underlining things with slashes of pen, sometimes two or three of them, and then glared at Xander after each underlining. Buffy was staring at the old watcher and looking amused at how frustrated he was at Xander.

Xander finally stared at him. "I handle things as they happen. I could've taken most of them out but why make myself that sort of target and that injured in some cases? I've only had two of the slayers with me when I ran into them. We've only covered half the continent."

"Why are you not traveling with one?" he demanded.

"Because the oldest is sixteen and married and the next oldest is sixteen and I just evacuated her from her family before they sold her off," he said dryly. "I took her to one of the other younger slayers' houses so she could be a big sister to teach her. There's some activity near there and that slayer's only five."

"No adults?" he asked.

Xander shook his head. "Not that you guys told me about. There may have been one but we know one died right before I left for my first trip."

"I see," he said. He went back to the reports, looking up one area. He looked at the boy. "Is that why you do most of these things yourself?"

"Unless it's something huge, yup. I'm not going to have a slayer who's underage doing anything unless it's totally critical to her survival. A few times it has been that bad and I gave the girls the truth and asked if they wanted to be there. I'm not going to force a slayer that doesn't want to fight to go into a battle. One of my girls is fifteen and has a kid. Most of the time I ignore her for any battles around her because her raising that future slayer is more important."

Giles nodded. "It is. We could perhaps send you an older slayer to help you. That way you had someone with some experience to lean on."

"Mostly I'm okay. Now and then I need to take a day off before I start to scream at people. Those days I could use someone else to answer the phone and handle anyone who shows up to nag. They do nag just like the American ones do but they aren't as ungrateful when we save a village."

Giles nodded, smiling some. "I've seen some of that, yes. Witcher, do you have anything to note from Asia?"

He looked at Xander. "I got the same sort of glares because I've got a lot of underage girls and no one else to help me now. Though I can't find any hell god temples."

"Cambodia has the only one I've heard about. A cousin to the one that I stole the stuff from so he couldn't regain a physical form." That got a nod and a note made. "Otherwise, I'm pretty sure you guys had monks and the like?"

"We have and they're an interesting community and resource. They've agreed about how the girls are now being trained and a few have suggested nun enclaves that could help if they needed it. I haven't had too many where I had to worry about early marriage. Only one of mine's married and it was arranged and done when she was a child. Her husband is not that much older than she is, they were both young children when they were married. He has said that her training has helped and they've been moved out of that village because the elders there were not pleased by her becoming a slayer. So we moved her toward where some of the problems were and I've kept in touch with her husband, who I made her watcher."

"I've done that to mine who're married too," the guy from Central America said. "Thankfully almost none of mine are that young. I've only got two under puberty."

"I've got one slayer I need to still meet," Xander said. "She's on the other side of the continent and I've called her. She said she's fine so far. We're going to meet in six weeks or so."

Giles nodded. "Is she older?"

"No but she's been protecting her village. She got a strong download and there's people there who helped. They may have worked with a girl in the past. She said she had some sort of classification manual."

"Good," Giles said. He looked at the one from the southern Americas. "Yours?"

"Like Harris, if they ask, we've handed over copies of the classification manual," the one from South America agreed. "There's not been too many that asked and we haven't had any large battles. They've been mostly hidden, thankfully. Though one did eat a drug lord who was bothering their community. I'm told it was nasty but necessary at that point. They're not usually flesh eaters but it made sure none of the others came back. Very interesting, very long history of the peoples down there. They even introduced us to some of the local native villages."

"Excellent," Giles agreed. "Do you have a native problems guide like Xander did?"

"We don't have too much that's unstandard by the old books but then again I learned to train from the original sources, not the last group's versions. My father taught me to train a girl from the three heavy books. That had some regional problems that were studied." He pulled them out and thumped them onto the table. "He always said this is the bible to train the girls by."

"Anything from my areas?" Xander asked.

"No. Almost no one's studied anything in Africa at all."

Buffy pointed. "I've seen one of those. Giles pulled it out when I first met him."

Giles nodded. "That's an older edition than the copy I had then."

Xander coughed. "Storage area."

"They sank," he sighed.

"Bullshit. I pay monthly for Anya's storage area," Xander said with a smile. Giles moaned and nodded. "It was farther out, by the college. Unless you used the one in town?"

"No, I had one there but it was mostly personal belongings that wouldn't fit in my apartment." He smiled. "I'll look into that." Xander nodded. He took the heavy books to flip through. "I've only seen my copy of one of these." He looked at that watcher. "Have you noted a lot that's not in the current books or is wrongly attributed?"

"Wrongly attributed, yes. A few things were noted that were actually crossbreeds as we know now. They've missed some of course, immigration has led to a few different species. So far I can supplement. I would like a copy of the notes from the others to include and perhaps even rework these into one more manageable book."

Xander handed over his and his classification manual. "It has notes too." The older watcher smiled and flipped through them, giving him an odd look. Xander glanced then shrugged. "It was a weird thing but not dangerous."

"That's good. I've seen one and it was like a hippie stoned on pot in some ways."

"They take poppy to do that. Eat pure poppies actually."

"Interesting to note." He made that note and got up to take those to the copy room with the notes from the other regional heads. That way they could be handed back and they all had notes from everyone. Xander's manuals and notes were very handy. They could definitely up the training materials that the girls had to get through before they were ready to patrol.

***
Part 2 by Voracity2
Xander met up with a weird occurrence the night before he left. He nodded at the guys in the burger shop. "Long night, guys?" he called as he walked toward the counter.

"Not really," Buckaroo said. "Just got done with a show. You're back in the US again?"

Xander shot him a grin. "Meeting over training materials." He paid for his order with a grin for the girl. He looked back at him then pulled out his map to hand over. "Two of them saw a photo of me at the concert's aftermath," he said quietly.

Buckaroo looked them over, wincing. "I thought he was dead."

Xander pointed. "He's a ghost now." He grinned. "I was hiding in there from Rosenburg."

"Good idea," one of the band muttered, nodding.

"You're Council?" the waitress demanded.

Xander grinned at her. "I'm Xander, dear."

"Who?"

"Buffy's Xander. The one she had helping her in Sunnydale?"

She shook her head. "Huh. We knew about the vampire guy and the werewolf."

Xander rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Angel left after graduation to take over LA and ended up with my ex girlfriend Cordelia. Oz is still in Tibet as far as I know."

"Oh, you're that guy," she said with a grimace.

"What?" he demanded, hands going to his hips. "Which one did you confuse me with?"

"Love spell guy."

"That so backfired. I was only supposed to get Cordelia so I could get her back for dumping me on Valentine's day. She was also my first relationship." The waitress snorted and walked off. He shrugged. "Whatever. I don't live on opinions." He looked at the staring trio again. He rolled his eye. "Amy cast it for me and it got everyone but her. How many guys have done stupid things during their first relationships?"

"Most of us." Perfect Tommy admitted.

Cordelia phased in, staring at him. "I think you were right to get me," she said, glaring at the waitress. Who shrank back looking scared. Xander grinned at her. "Two things, huge problems. First, the other slayer? She's okay. Doesn't need hand holding. Could use the new books." Xander grinned and nodded. "Second....how did you get into that one temple with the instruments and what did you touch?"

"I touched a few and I ran in there to get away from the guys shooting at me for being evilly white again."

She rubbed her forehead. "That might end up being a bad thing."

"Did it give me taint like the mermaids?" he guessed. She nodded quickly. "Well, screw it. I wasn't musical before this so maybe now I'll be a bit more musically inclined. I haven't noticed a difference."

"The Powers think that might just be a great payback," she warned.

Xander smiled. "Did they plan that battle with the two-headed goddess?"

"What two-headed goddess?" Cordelia demanded. Xander smiled, taking his burger and his map to leave. "Xander!" she called, staring after him. "What two-headed goddess?"

"Look it up," he called. "They can scry. Just don't ask the redhead to do it, please!" He got into his rental car and drove off.

She looked up then at the waitress. "Xander did a lot more than that love spell and he did save Buffy's life a few times. He's a really good signpost and helper for the slayers. Even the Powers That Be have to admit that under truth spell, even though they hate him a whole lot. Which is why that love spell went really wrong." She looked at Buckaroo. "Don't even try," she warned quietly. "They've seen and it'll go wrong. Just like every other thing around him." She left with a look up and a sigh.

"Sure," New Jersey said then ate a fry. "That's a good warning."

Tommy nodded. "Very handy."

Buckaroo shook his head but he was smiling. "It sounds like things we would've gotten into when we were younger."

"Don't remind me," Tommy shot back with an evil smirk. The others just shook their heads. The group around the trio at the top were used to weird things.

***

Two hours after Xander had finally gotten to sleep, Cordelia's ranting woke up the house. "You took out a hell goddess!" she said when one of the slayers finally got Xander up and down there to answer her bitching. "How did you do that?"

He shrugged. "She showed up to nag me about Willow! I wasn't in the mood to be nagged about something I had no control over. I warned her and then I shot her in the stomach. I didn't realize her power core was there, it just exploded." He shrugged. "What did you expect me to do about her?" He walked off shaking his head. "They seriously worry about the wrong things," he said when he ran into a staring Willow and Buffy. "Night, Cordelia."

"Damn it, Xander!"

"That seems to be his name, yup," Faith quipped, staring after Xander. "A goddess?"

"Accidentally on purpose," he called back.

Buffy huffed, trying to follow him but he was holding his bedroom door shut so she couldn't stomp in there to yell at him. "I'll get you tomorrow, Mister." She went down to ask Cordelia what had happened *this* time.

Willow was unhappy about it.

Giles was alternating between scowling at Willow for getting a hell god's attention and glaring at the ceiling toward Xander's room.

Buffy was just wanting to go beat him for daring to do that by himself. Didn't he know men didn't do those things?

***

Xander sighed as he walked into the airport, smiling at the guard. "I'm away from the nagging before most of them got up!" He went to get his boarding pass and then to security. "Hi, guys."

"You're chipper," one grumped.

"I got out of the slayer house before the girls got up to nag me about things." He smiled. "It's great, even though I've got almost a whole day of flying back to Africa in business class."

They got him through the lines quickly enough before his happy mood infected other travelers. Perky travelers made the lines go more slowly because they chatted and the TSA didn't like that.

***

The slayer that Xander hadn't met looked up at the clapping for her sparring practice. She found the guy leaning against the side of the building, staring at him. "Do I know you?" she asked.

He walked out, smiling at her. "I'm the trainer for the other girls. My name is Xander Harris."

"I'm Yihana," she said, shaking his hand. She pointed at one man. "This is my trainer."

Xander nodded, waving him over. "I've heard you had one that was very good so I'll only go over some of the information we've got to give to the girls. You're also the oldest on this continent and the most trained. Most of the other girls are under the age of puberty." She winced. "We have four that're over that age, but two are married and one's just now in it. One has a child and one doesn't. The last one over that age I just moved near one of the tiny ones to help her since they've got a problem. She's sixteen." He clapped his hands, smiling and shaking the trainer's hand. "Xander Harris, watcher over all the African slayers."

"You're young," he said.

"I jumped in to help Buffy in Sunnydale back when I was sixteen." The man winced, shaking his head. "It's experience in my case. There's very few watchers left. I've got books for her in the jeep and a few things we've been giving all the girls." They followed him to the jeep. "All right, this is a copy of my notes on the Africa specific problems we've run into. You're the furthest north-east. We've called to talk to you but you said you could handle things like fights so I concentrated on the tiny ones so they knew how to get away if something new attacked them."

"That's reasonable," the trainer agreed. "Are they with their families?"

"Yes. The new Council considers it a great idea for them to stay with their families if possible. We don't take in the girls unless there's a reason like their parents are going to kill them or something evil." That got a nod. Xander handed over two newly printed manuals. "They just got these done, they were magicked to me earlier today. These are off the original training sets, the ones the slayers were trained to back about a hundred years ago.

"We've run into things that were covered in them that weren't in the newer one so a watcher just recently reformatted all that for easy carrying. Before then it was three books that were about two feet thick total." She smiled. "Now for the goodies." He pulled out a box, a bag, and a backpack. "All the slayers get an allowance so they can buy food for themselves and help however they can with their families. We know that you ladies have needs for a lot of food and that some of you live in thin areas."

He patted the backpack. "This is a new patrol backpack. We've put them together for the other girls, mostly the ones in Asia. I've included some extras that are more practical, including extra canteens." He let her go through it. "That is your compact field identification manual. There's some that aren't in there, but we went with the most common things. That's why we supplement with the new books." He grinned. "In there is also your slayer phone. It has programmed numbers for me, the main house, the two senior slayers, and all the girls in the region. I check in with the minis each and every month, even if I'm traveling between them." She looked it over. "It's a satellite phone so it should get a signal everywhere." He flipped up something. "That's to charge it with the sun. Very handy for some of the girls since they live without power and one's near a desert." He pointed. "If there's electricity available, that's your charger."

"It's cute and delicate," she said.

He smiled and shook his head. "That's the type of phone US military guys carry. It's pretty drop proof but don't sit on it. It's not fancy but it works. One of the girls has a smartphone so she transferred all the numbers and kept that one as a backup in case something happened."

"It's a good idea with how they're spread," the trainer agreed.

Xander grinned. "My idea. The Asian slayers mostly had phones or were from smaller villages that had a phone in the village somewhere. The two in Hong Kong have super smart phones that may launch missiles for all we know."

The trainer grinned. "I've seen a few of those."

"I carry a phone like those, only mine's got a non-slip case. They've got good call quality. Also, Buffy and Faith both like to randomly call to check on the younger slayers. Buffy's about my age. She's been doing it since she was sixteen."

"We heard she died," the trainer said.

"Twice," Xander said with a nod. "Once I did CPR. The other time, that was Willow. We're still debating if it was prompted by the Powers That Be or not." He shrugged. "Long story and why the old Sunnydale team is in charge of the Council now." He pointed. "The box is your weapons. We give new ones when you break one. Those are the classic weapons but I've been known to help most of the girls find a gun they can use if they're able and want to. They can come in more handy down here than they do in Europe or the US, where you get a lot more staking and beheading. I went with weapons that you girls should probably be at least slightly familiar with if they're in traveling or agrarian villages and the others seem to get used to them pretty easily.

"The scythe is included because the *special* scythe, which I can tell you about after all this present giving, needs to be able to be used if you have to." She nodded, putting that aside. "The last one is a traditional present when I come in the first time. I've had a lot of parents who got very mad that their daughters were slayers. So I bring a present to make them less mad. I learned that after my second time of explaining everything to them, their minister of choice, and at least one police officer. The officers usually suggested it to make them less mad," he told the trainer. "I have no idea why."

"They probably saw it as compensation for them not being marriage material," he said.

"Slayers now are more than encouraged to find a normal life, a happy life, and if they want kids we have things we can teach them to make themselves safer." They both gave him odd looks. "There's over six hundred of you over the age of fourteen, Yihana." She slumped, mouth slightly open. He grinned. "I've got thirteen of you under me in Africa alone, nine old enough for at least the basics of training and the rest are little girls. Plus a few tiny minis who're still cooing at things instead of able to start learning how to avoid being snatched. That brings me up to twenty-seven if I remember right."

"Why?" the trainer demanded.

Xander sighed and sat on the driver's seat. "Back when Buffy died defeating a hell goddess named Glorificus, who had come to open portals to bring her hell realm onto this plane, Willow had a magic addiction. Buffy was dead for six months. Willow told us she was in hell. Even before she scried her or anything she told us she was in a hell realm." He pulled out the training manual, opening it to that page. "Because she had a magic addiction it blinded her to the rational thought of 'is this a good idea or not'. She ended up pulling Buffy back, which loosened the First Evil." Yihana swallowed, shaking her head. "The dreams you got about the other girls dying? Those sightless guys were called Bringers. They're her minions. Thankfully, the battle against her and her minions locked them back inside the seal in Sunnydale's hellmouth."

The trainer stared at him, mouth open. "So she brought the slayer at the time back?"

"Well, slightly. There were two at that time. The first time Buffy died, I did CPR. She had just been drowned by an older master vampire. There was a prophecy and all that. Which meant we had two called. Buffy still had powers and then we had Kendra. She showed up to handle things and we found out that Buffy had been dead long enough for it to move on and call a second slayer. Kendra was killed by a vampire and Faith was called. Faith had huge amounts of problems due to mental trauma and other problems.

"So we had Buffy being the slayer and Faith ended up in jail for a while for her problems." The trainer nodded once, still scowling. "When Buffy started to have dreams about the Bringers we went looking and found out what happened and got all the slayers and watchers we could find to Sunnydale. That was right before the Bringers blew up the old Council's building in England." Yihana winced. "It ended up being a battle against the First Evil.

"It takes seven slayers to bleed on her altar to lock her in there. The slayer scythe is a special weapon imbued with the slayer spirit. It can kill a bringer. Buffy wields it now but it can kill most any demon so all the slayers need to know how in case they need it. Or it goes to the next senior slayer. We only had two slayers so Willow talked to the slayer spirit inside the scythe to activate the ones who had made it to Sunnydale."

"Which is when we all got activated," Yihana said. "I remember the dream asking if I wanted it."

Xander looked at her and nodded. "Yup, it sure was. All the slayers and all of us in Sunnydale who were working with the team went into the hellmouth to fight the First Evil to seal her back in. It was the first time we'd really lost team members. Buffy died to stop Glory, but she chose that. This time we had slayers and others dying in the battle itself. We lost three of the six of us who weren't slayers who were helping. We lost eleven slayers that day. The main house, which is in Cleveland with the most open hellmouth, has the remembrance obelisks for them and the others who fell during other battles and the few who died on patrol."

She nodded. "Now you're an army of slayers. We train you how to handle yourself. We train you how to deal with things you must. We also make sure the young ones get to be young girls who play but are a bit careful about things. We make the girls that want to go to college go." He smiled. "Two of the slayers are presently in medical school to come back to be our trauma team. We're all real proud of them. The same as you're allowed to have a real life if you want. We'll help you celebrate all the happies and be there when you need us for the bad things.

"The slayers are like sisters to each other, and they do argue sometimes. Buffy and the girls from the Middle East get into clothing talks that turn vicious at times. Giles had to duct tape her mouth the last time she started on their modest clothes." Yihana laughed. "Buffy's fashionable. She grew up that way because she wasn't one of the girls the old Council took from their family to raise." He shrugged. "She went to normal schools and all that. She grew up a normal girl for LA."

"What about hunting?" the trainer said.

Xander nodded. "If that's her choice and she wants to hunt, then we'll support that and her. I'm here to explain things we know about, to give her information she might not have yet. I've run into a lot of things that weren't in the traditional training. No one studied Africa-specific threats. Even during the colonial times the old line weren't all that welcome." He shrugged. "That's part of what went into the new training manuals. Most of the vampires in Europe and the US you can stake or behead.

"You guys have a few psychic and energy vamps down here that you have to kill with blood because that's a weakness to them. You have a lot more beheading ones than we do in the US. You guys also have ancient temples that have been there for generations that no one's heard of because no one was there." He grinned. "I've run into a few of them. Literally in a few cases because I was getting away from Willow magic. She was drinking on the anniversary of her girlfriend's death. Which I understand very well. I just didn't want to be pregnant."

The trainer winced. "Is she still around?"

"In Cleveland most of the time. She's got a fair grip on her magic addiction. Though she does nag, a lot. The senior witches in Devon are on her speed dial," he said dryly, smiling at him. "And mine in case I have to call them on her again for trying to make me pregnant. Oh, there's a young witch in one of the villages. We had to have a talk with her because she created a blizzard. That's the only way she figured out how to stop the bad guys who were trying to hurt her village. She's eight. She and Giles got a long talk about things like ethics and common sense and while she might look up to Willow there's better things, like people eating trees. They decided that was a great idea."

The trainer moaned, shaking his head. "Oh, dear."

Xander grinned. "Old line watcher?"

"Cousin to one," he sighed, looking at him. "They hated your team."

"We know. We hated the old Council right back," he said with a smile. "Thankfully, most of them blew up with the Bringers. That left Giles in charge of the Council. There's a head watcher on each continent and area. Most of us are younger. We saved sixty-nine, I think, watchers. Mostly research guys. Three have died since then due to vampires and one died due to food poisoning in Asia with the head over there. The girls there like to try each other's native cuisines. He said he's fought off food poisoning at least once with two of them."

The trainer looked at his young slayer. "It seems I've done good with you."

"She looked excellent in sparring, though she does need to know bladed weapons. They come in more handy than you realize," Xander said. "Especially since on the way here I spotted three different demon communes that're going to have problems soon from the fighting in the next country. The locals there were protecting them but one village near the border had been burned and they were fixing one of the communes so they could go on living peacefully."

"We can handle them," he said.

"We leave the peaceful ones alone. If they need our help moving out of the way of a problem, or if they run into something bigger being a predator to them, we do help them. The Sunnydale team has always had a good working relationship with the peaceful communities. Especially with the information circuits. It's how we figured out what was going on a few times." He shrugged. "It's come in real handy. The three communes all had anti-violence charms on the gates so they were peaceful."

"Really?" he demanded.

"Why harm something peaceful?" Xander countered. "Make them fight us? The whole Council is that way now about the peaceful community. We've gotten a lot of information from them about bigger things coming up. If it wasn't for them we wouldn't have known about the invasion in LA that got the slayers a lot of press attention."

"There's been attention, like reporters?" the trainer said.

Xander nodded, pulling out his phone to look up the site he used most, showing them. "That's one of the peaceful community's sites about the slayers. The links page at the bottom has a link to most of the other ones, including the CNN site that got started just after the invasion in LA." He let them look it over. He saw her grin and looked, nodding. "Buffy grew up fashionable," he said. "She makes it work for her but she's the only slayer going out in real heels on patrol."

The trainer looked at him. "She can?"

"And does, often." Xander nodded with a grin. "That's just her being her. We let Buffy be Buffy, the same way we let Yihana be Yihana."

The trainer nodded, going over the other sites that were linked. "This is not the Council I'm used to."

Xander shrugged. "We on the Sunnydale team changed it a lot when we took over. Gone are the days of kidnaping potentials. Gone are the hoarding of information. We have agents and others who know so they can help us. Mostly they asked so we gave the what they needed to know to handle things. I've taught a lot of that down here. With the way you ladies are spread out and so many being so young, we've had to let them handle some things themselves. They call if they panic and we appear to help. Or we call if there's something huge and they come help because they got the point that saving themselves comes in really handy at times. We had a few we had to get local rebel groups to come help." He shrugged. "You do what you gotta do."

Yihana nodded. "Sometimes you do." She took the phone to look at Xander's page since they had just found one. "This one does not like you."

Xander looked and nodded. "They don't watch me." He grinned. "They don't think I'm pretty anymore since one of the First's minions popped my eye. Then again, that site's run by one of the former old line watchers who's now bedridden due to injuries. He survived the explosion by being in a vault and having all of it fall on top of him." The trainer looked at him. Xander shrugged. "Wasn't my doing. We didn't deal with the council too much since Buffy told them to bite her over that little birthday test. We no longer do that by the way."

"I thought that was a bad idea," the trainer agreed. "Why did she react so strongly?"

"They kidnaped her mother too."

"Ah. That makes sense."

Xander nodded. "They tried to fire Giles and she told them to bite her. She had her watcher and we had Wesley." He shrugged. "They rehired Giles when they panicked and actually told us about Glory. Apparently hell gods change things."

Yihana nodded. "I would think they would."

Xander smiled. "There's eighteen that I've noted on this continent. Only one's relatively close by and it's a few hundred miles. So far she hasn't done more than sigh in disgust at cars and hasn't tried to take in any slaves or minions. If that changes, she's on the list to be handled. You can call and I'll show up with heavier weapons."

"We have heavier weapons?" the trainer asked.

"That's one reason why I play kitten poker with the peaceful community," Xander quipped. "I don't have a lot but I have a few pieces if we need them." The watcher groaned. "I've also found a few pieces thanks to people who thought I was mean to be treating young woman like they had sense and were capable of handling things. Pity about their narrow viewpoint." He gently took the phone back and got onto another site. "This one is a bit more realistic and less fangirl squealing about some of us." He let her have the phone back. "It's how I keep track of some of the girls that made it to Sunnydale. Andrew, the main house's housemother, does the same thing."

"Housemother?" she asked.

"He takes care of the building and the slayers living there. He makes sure they eat, do homework, do training, cleans up the messes, gets people in to fix holes that the girls cause all too often."

"Oh. He's a man?"

Xander grinned and nodded. "Men can do that job just as well as a woman, Yihana. He's very good to the slayers. He treats them like he would a sister."

She nodded. "Interesting." She looked at Andrew's page. "He does magic?"

"Yes, he used to. He doesn't as much anymore. The Devon coven is awfully down on guys who do traditional magic at times and they nearly took him out for handling something with a touch of magic while he had an arm in a sling. He was floating the spice bottles and they threw an awesome fit. Thankfully Willow stuck up for him and Andrew was able to change them back from cats and lizards after Willow changed them."

"You guys aren't sane," the trainer said.

Xander shrugged. "Life does that to us all sometimes. Yearly bigger battles, stronger ones every few months, plus patrol? It wears you down and you cope however you can." He looked at him. "I came to Africa to grieve my former fiancee. She died in the battle with the First. We weren't together any longer but she was still a close friend and we lost others there. Then I got asked to look in on the slayers to see if any of them had any training. Which turned into me training them and learning more about how to do survival things. Before I could camp and hunt some. Now I can do a lot more because I needed to learn that skill. Which I pass on to the girls."

He nodded once. "I can train her for most everything she'll need to know."

"Sure. Let me know if you can't. There's things like desert camping that may come in handy or even weapons. Can you use a sword?" The man grimaced but nodded. Xander smiled, pulling out a second box. "We heard she had a trainer that was doing pretty good. That's why I didn't rush over to help her and only called. This is your set because I had them send me one just in case. Make sure you know how to handle all those. If not, I can run a short lesson and let you work against each other if you want to do it that way." He looked through them, frowning at some. Xander plucked out one, letting Yihana hold hers.

"Okay, come at me, Yihana." She did and he blocked while showing them a bit of how to handle it. "With the Slayer Spirit came information on a lot of different weapons. Usually it takes a few times using them to wake them up, then you have to get your body used to what your mind knows." She nodded, stepping back. "Try the scythe. Most of the slayers got a strong sense of how to use them and swords." She pulled that out, checking it over.

"Treat it like a curved dagger, not a longer weapon. There is one with a scythe blade on the end but I don't have any of those here. I can show you how to change yours over if you need to." She nodded. He showed her how to use the scythe most effectively as a hand weapon. Her trainer pulled out his to go over. By that night they were looking good at handling them, if not more in her case. Xander pulled something out of her pack, holding it up. "To record slayer dreams or just to think in. Most of the girls do keep one. Some even write notes to future slayers who might read them. If she has a slayer dream that's prophetic, call the main house and tell them that. If they don't understand you, ask for Andrew. We both have translating software if we need them. His is on his computer so he might have you skype if you can. You don't have to though."

The trainer nodded. "I can do that. Where are you going after this?"

Xander pulled out his map. "This is my usual route. I'll deviate here to come check on her every few months." He looked up. "Yell for me if you need me. We have ways of getting to emergencies thanks to the coven. Or I'm owed a few poker debts that can do that for the bigger things they don't want to be taken out by as well." That got a nod. "The blue dots are the other slayers. This is where Ayo is. She's the unmarried sixteen-year-old one. She's got the most training of all of them but yours because she's able to travel and train with me more often, plus she's gotten the chance to do some on her own with her family. She's guarding a five-year-old slayer at the moment. There's a huge problem near them that's looking to raise up their ugly, horned head."

"That's good to know. I can act as her watcher."

Xander smiled. "That's great. There's three forms you have to deal with to get paid for doing that." He pulled out copies. "I just photocopy them when I start to run out. This is your incident report form. This is for battles, bigger issues that need specially noted. Those things that need someone to look at and start to clean their glasses over." He grinned. "This is your monthly check in report form. This is the 'went on patrol so many times, got this many problems while on patrol' form. Just the facts in number form is fine. Willow puts them in to get statistics so we can track upswings in activity and things like that. That way we can move some of the slayers to heavier areas because they usually end up needing the other form."

"That makes sense."

"It does. Willow created them and Buffy trimmed them down to something she could fill out of she had to. It works well and even if you're injured this one usually takes about ten minutes to fill out. The other one, if you're emailing it you can include any film that got taken, including stuff from news sites if there's any around. A few I wrote a paragraph, included a link to the news story, and included an injury report from the ER.

"Giles wasn't amused but it gave him all he needed to know until he could call and check on the slayer. You'll probably hear from him about every month or so at first. That way he knows if you get too stressed, need help, those things. In three months it's spring in the US so therefore apocalypse season. The last one is the 'please replace me' form." He handed that one over.

"For weapon replacements, things like replacing her allowance because the bank got stomped on by something or the rebel group robbed it. Both have happened in the last year. The stepped on one he didn't realize and wasn't doing more than chasing after his girlfriend whining at her for her stomping off in a snit about him doing something dumb. He did apologize and helped them rebuild it. Even before his girlfriend demanded he help rebuild it he was helping rebuild it."

Xander looked up at him. "He's peaceful but hates the thought that we consider him a bit scary for being a few stories tall. He farms for the demon community that eats flesh or blood so they don't eat people. When one of the girls' village needed food desperately he gave me a good deal on a small flock of sheep to give them and threw in some feed grain for the sheep until they could get some growing for them to eat."

"I never would've considered that."

Xander smiled. "Sunnydale used to be the most active hellmouth. We had nearly as many peaceful demons as we did humans in town, plus a huge vampire menace. We learned very well how to work with the peaceful community to protect both of our peoples. They don't want apocalypse battles either. They give us a lot of information when we need it. We have ones that can fix weapons or make speciality weapons. We have ones that have made clothes for some of the slayers on patrol that got injured. We've had a few that have used their healing skills on the slayers after larger battles. Never discount how peaceful and helpful the peaceful community can be. If they're mad at you, they'll let you know, but otherwise they're generally pleasant and just want to live their lives."

"I'll keep that in mind. We don't see too many that aren't causing problems."

"I've heard she took out a few for being funny colored. One of them was a half-human and she needs to be more careful," he said quietly. "Harming a human can cause a lot of problems with the slayer spirit. Faith accidentally taking out a human that got thrown at her during a battle with vampires broke it in her for a long time." The trainer grimaced but nodded. "There's ways if you have to hurt them, or if you're protecting yourself it probably won't happen. We've had a few girls who had to protect themselves and it didn't harm them any but that does change a being in many ways. We never want to see the slayers get that exhausted with life either."

"I can understand that."

Xander nodded. "Good." He called Giles. "It's me and Yihana's trainer-slash-watcher. I've showed him the three forms. I've given her weapons and the books so she's got a copy. He's done good teaching her how to defend herself and fight. The sword lessons earlier went very well. She's awakening the memories at a super pace." He smiled at the pleased noise. "So I need you to set them up with the standard team on patrol perks and paycheck please."

"Of course," Giles said. "We were hoping she'd be able to help you with some of the problems you've run into."

"She's near a few peaceful communes and I want her to stay in this area for now," Xander said. "There was evidence one of the peaceful ones got bothered by the next country over's forces recently."

"Charming. We can work on that." He cleared his throat. "Here we go, the six sheets we have to fill out to employ you both. She's automatically employed but this way we have a payroll record."

"I'd put them on with the online version but no service here," Xander said.

"Good to know." He went over each of the forms with him, filling them out. By the end of an hour he had them all done and they were officially watcher and slayer for the northeastern parts of Africa.

***

Xander woke up in his jeep with a snort, looking at the fizzling noise that had woken him. "Morning, Gloria," he said dryly. "Why are you down here?" He sat up and made himself get out and stretch. It was apparently going to be a long day. "Kennedy," he said with a nod for her. "Huge problems in London?"

Gloria, a perky brunette who was about to go to college, smiled at him. "Watcher Witcher said that you're being overrun with stuff to do so he assigned me down here and Kennedy wanted to meet the one you just found." She looked around then at him. "It's not as desert-like as I thought."

"That's another part of the continent. You get the whole range from mountains to deserts here," he said. He stared at her. "If you're staying, there's got to be rules, Gloria. You can't run wild like you did in London. They don't club down here."

"Why not?" she asked. "It's very stress relieving."

"There's no clubs." She slumped, staring at him. He nodded, smiling some. "There's some that are more like the martini bars that Kennedy goes to but get down and dirty on the floor clubs? Nope. There's also a lot of very modest cultures. Which means sometimes you'll have to cover your hair and you're going to want pants exclusively. If only so you don't get bitten by mosquitos and get malaria."

"I told her about the trip my parents brought me on to Morocco," Kennedy said. She handed over a bag. "Hers. Including a few pretty scarves and a few long sleeve shirts for the cold nights." She waved a hand. "Let me get back to the drudgery of running the London house." She disappeared thanks to the waiting coven.

Xander grinned at her. "Weapons?"

"Mostly on me. Witcher said to please work on my hand-to-hand and sword work. Apparently he thinks I'm just okay in those areas."

"You girls can't be great at everything. You're not Buffy or Faith and you shouldn't try to be Buffy or Faith." He looked at her present outfit. "It's modest enough for this area. Untuck the shirt." She did that so he led her to where Yihana was working out. "Morning," he called, making her wave one hand then go back to lifting weights. "Yihana and her watcher Gregory, this is the Slayer Gloria. She got assigned down here from the house in London. She's doing a year before college thing."

Gloria smiled, holding out a hand. "Yihana, hi. Welcome to the sisterhood of slayers. Kennedy would've stayed but she's allergic to dirt I guess." She shrugged and Yihana smiled and shook her hand. She shook the watcher's hand. "She's lucky. Most of us don't have our own watcher anymore. Though the ones who're married tend to do that with their spouses."

"And one's twin brother," Xander agreed, then yawned. He flapped a hand when the girls looked at him oddly. "Two visions last night. Nothing too soon though. Updating ones I've already seen." They nodded and settled in to talk. Gregory gave him a worried look when the talk went to fashion. "Gloria was raised by the old Council for a few years. Her mother was a Watcher and turned her over," he said quietly. "She managed to hide among London's underground to save herself after the explosion."

Gregory nodded, going over to talk to her about how she managed things in London. Xander got his laptop and came back to type in a preliminary report and send in those visions. Yihana looked at him. He grinned without looking up from his typing. "Vision recording stuff, ladies. Go ahead and talk. You each have stuff to teach the other." They went back to talking and figuring things out. Gloria got a bit loud talking about the local peaceful communes, she adored the ones in London's group, but that was her being excitable.

***

Six months later, Xander was evacuating Gloria and two other of the mini slayers back to the US. He nodded at the Custom's guy, pulling out his ID. "We need a supervisor," he said quietly. "We have emergency paperwork." He pulled that out for the girls.

The agent called that in and got them to a special handling area. The girls relaxed as best they could until they got helped. The supervisor took his sweet time but came in and stopped, grimacing. "Special paperwork, sir?"

"I'm with the Council."

"I heard." Xander handed over the paperwork. "State Department approved I see," he said as he went through them. "It's not a bad idea."

"I know they don't have proper passports and the embassy said to ask for a supervisor."

"That's fine." He stamped in the ones that had them after doing the bag search. He nodded at one. "Miss, you don't have to worry anymore."

"I know," she said. "I just got used to wearing it. Xander had to save me from some people who took me hostage to get a wife. They didn't like me fighting back." Xander patted her on the back. "Can we go to the Council house now please?" She was being strong so the younger slayers didn't see how injured she was, but she was quickly running out of steam. It was time to sit down and cry again.

"Of course, Miss." He looked at the two little ones then at Xander. "Are there others coming?"

"No. There might've been one other one but she went to stay with one of the bigger slayers. If so, I'll come gather her myself from here." They shook hands and the girls got walked off. "Ten minutes to get the rental car, then we'll pause by our usual doctor, Gloria. That way she can take the records and make sure you don't need any refills."

"Thanks." She looked at him. "I'm sorry I didn't do what you said to do and got captured."

He paused and hugged her. "Honey, I've been captured by the same people. I had to call in a poker debt to have them eaten." She giggled. "It's not your fault they're assholes. It's their fault they're assholes." She nodded. He made sure he had the two little ones and walked them to the car rental counter. They ran into two agents. "Not right now," he ordered firmly. "I need to get the girls to the clinic and then the house. I do have a report for you but they have to come first."

"We can talk on the way," one offered. He nodded at the big slayer and smiled at the two younger ones that were hiding behind Xander. "We're not here to hurt you, ladies."

"We just got them out of Nigeria," Xander said bluntly, earning a wince. "Gloria needs to hit the slayer clinic almost immediately. Not that I don't trust their docs but I don't."

"She's off today," the other agent said quietly. "I'll have someone call her to meet you at the Council house, Mr. Harris. We can talk while we walk. We wanted to talk about the battle two weeks ago."

Gloria snorted, shaking her head. "Not that huge and Yihana nearly set it off by being an 'all demons are bad' slayer. She learned."

Xander nodded. "Took her two broken legs and a broken tailbone," he agreed. "Plus the lecture from hell and Willow's version when she showed up." He smirked a tiny bit. "She's very sorry and she's learned now that there's differences." He hurried to the machine to get them a rental car, having to go to the desk instead when it wouldn't let him. He held up his ID. "I'm in delivering slayers to the head house," he said quietly. "I know I'm a bit younger than your regs state. I have this problem every other trip."

The desk clerk nodded, finding his file in the system. "Just a sedan, sir?"

"I need two booster seats if they're available. If not, I'll manage until we get to the house. They're not that young." The clerk looked at the girls then at him.

"We can give him a dispensation," one of the agents said with a smile as he flashed his badge. "They need to get to the house as soon as humanely possible." She nodded, adding that in and doing the paperwork quickly.

He took the keys with a smile and herded the girls out there. "Potty break now or in an hour, ladies." They went to the bathroom. He had to get Gloria because she started to cry again. The two little slayers followed him carrying her to the car. The agents just followed and helped where they could. The girls had to come first this time. They understood.

***

Xander walked into the house. "Andrew, is the doc here yet?" he called.

"Just now parking!" he yelled from the back of the house. He came out. "I can handle the minis, Xander."

"Okay. I'll carry Gloria up to the clinic. She won't make it on her own," he said quietly, getting a nod. He went out to get her. She was dozing but tried to swing on him. He patted her. "It's me, Gloria. We're home. I'm bringing you to the doc." She nodded, resting her head against his shoulder. She was light enough to not be a burden. The two mini slayers were staring at Andrew oddly.

Faith leaned out. "Hey, girls." They smiled. They knew her by voice. "C'mon inside. That's Andrew. He makes the cookies and all the food. You two hungry?" They nodded, following her to the kitchen with Andrew behind them. "The big slayer?"

"Xander carried her," Andrew said quietly.

"That shit sucks and I hope like hell a huge demon does eat those mother fuckers," she said in Latin. The minis didn't know Latin yet. Andrew nodded, handing her a cookie. Xander walked in. "Gloria be okay?"

"Sometime," he said quietly. "We hope." He sat down, taking his own cookie. "You two were excellent earlier. You deserve a treat tonight. For that, why doesn't Faith show you the game room once you get rooms."

"I can do that. Some of the minis locally are in for a thing tonight." She led them off to show them their rooms and then the slayer game room. They ran in to talk to the other girls about their own age. Xander had taught them a lot of english along with their native languages so they weren't going to have troubles with the books being in english.

Xander looked at the agents that had followed them. "What else did you two need to talk about?"

"Sumatra."

"Not my circuit," Xander said bluntly.

"Djibouti?" the other one asked.

Xander nodded. "Yihana's territory. She was a kill them all sort. It caused a huge problem when she moved to take one out that was more powerful than she expected. She learned because she's now a bit broken. Both legs and tailbone broken. Her watcher saved her ass and we had to show up to handle the emergency. Thankfully we could talk him down from his killing humanity rage," he finished dryly. "Then I yelled at her in the ER. Then Willow showed up to yell at her. I'm pretty sure she's now in line with the way the rest of us do things." He ate the second cookie Andrew gave him.

"What happened to the young ones?" the other agent asked.

"The two minis were in Nigeria. Their families got attacked for them being slayers. They're both orphans now. The government got horrified that there were slayers in their country. I warned Gloria about going out alone due to the problems up north of where we were. One of them spotted her and took her hostage for being 'exotic' by being a white girl from England. I managed to rescue her with some help but it was over a day later. She fought them off for as long as she could. She's got a pretty bad concussion and probably shouldn't have flown but getting the two minis out of Africa any other way would've caused more problems for her so she demanded we fly like normal people."

He bit into the remains of that cookie, chewing slowly. "Thankfully I'm on good terms with the local peaceful clans there and they hated their asses too. They took down a good portion of the forest to help me find her and that whole unit of assholes were gone. They sold them to poker debts. I walked off at their screams to save them saying it served them right for doing the same to young women." He finished that cookie.

"Is your older slayer going to be all right and do the younger two need continued care?" the first agent asked quietly. "We can arrange things and let the State Department help."

"They helped me evac the girls. They also watched them while I went to get Gloria. They didn't want to look me in the face when I carried her in from the ER." They nodded. "We got out of there in under a day."

"That's good. She can get better care over here," the first agent said. "Is there anything we should know?"

"I'm out of artillery." He smirked a tiny bit. "You won't find a report on that. They covered it up greatly."

"We can come back if we find it, Mr. Harris. That way we get battle reports. It could complicate US operations or diplomatic operations."

"With the way the diplomats tried to get me to not go find Gloria....yay." They nodded. "They actually tried to tell me she was a lost cause."

"We don't think so," the second agent said. "Thank you for managing it." They shook his hand. "We'd like battle reports sometime later this week, even if they were covered up."

"I'm expecting someone from SHIELD to pounce soon since I had to email them updated visions."

"We'd like to hear those too," the other one said with a smile. "So we're all prepared." Xander nodded. They left.

Andrew handed Xander a mug of tea. "She'll be okay. Our doc is amazing."

"The doc was crying when I put her onto the table," Xander said quietly. "I'm hoping she'll be okay. I had to tell her mom." He sat down with a sigh. "This is so fucked up, 'Drew."

"I know, Xander. You're only one guy. You can't be everywhere and even with visions you're not omnipotent." Xander gave him a weak smile, drinking his tea.

Giles walked in. "Faith introduced me to the two minis you brought over. The other?"

"Moved with Ayo's charge." Xander looked at him. "Gloria's in the clinic."

"I noticed the 'no men' sign on the door that's usually only employed during female exams." He patted him on the back. "I would've found magic and destroyed them all," he said quietly. "I find no fault in you using the local peaceful community. It seems quite like karma." Xander nodded he agreed. "She'll be fine."

"I had to tell her mom."

"That's fine. I'll call her mother to make sure she knows she's here and under treatment." He went to tap on the door to the on-site clinic. A nurse opened the door slightly. "I was going to call her mother to update her that she's here. Should I give over any other information?"

"The concussion has healed quite a lot thanks to the slayer healing gifts. The other trauma....she's still healing and in a lot of pain. She'll be in the infirmary for weeks probably."

"I'll let her know and try to get her to come over to visit." He walked off to his office to make that call. He found Buffy in there being nagged by one of the old liners. "Excuse me but I need my desk, people. Buffy, quit eating in the library. This isn't the school and some people do hold books to be nearly holy objects." He settled down, staring at them. "I have to call Gloria's mother, people. I need privacy." They walked off. He called after looking up their number. "Hello, Mr. Georges. It's Rupert Giles." He relaxed into his chair.

"She is here. They just got back to the house and our on-site doctor is already going over her injuries. They said the concussion has healed quite a lot but she'll be in the infirmary for a few weeks probably for the other...trauma. No, from what I understand she was kidnaped off the street in front of the house. They were in Nigeria," he said more quietly. The father groaned. "Xander saved her by having the local peaceful community help. I'm told they were every efficient and others were rescued at the same time.

"No, from what Xander said she insisted they fly because he had two orphaned slayers he had to bring over. Xander babied her on the way over with them. He's presently beating himself up for not realizing she was outside the safety of the house. Yes, those same sort did take her. No, I believe his report said he let the peaceful community have them. It was like karma in many ways," he said.

He smiled slightly, opening up the travel program he had learned. "We can arrange for you and her mother to show up over here. It's definitely not a problem to have you show up to baby her until she's ready to head home or to college. She said she was taking a year off when she requested to go to Africa to help Xander. She had exemplary service down there, including some rather large battles. We've actually upped her paycheck due to that so she can afford a good bit of her first two years at the very least. Of course, we'd love to have you both as soon as you can come over. I can arrange that." He made travel arrangements and told him them. They agreed they could show up then and he let them go pack. He tipped his head back and sighed.

Buffy leaned in. "Gloria's nagging the nurse back that she's stronger than needing fussed over." She smiled. "She's trying to tough it out."

"As many girls would." He looked at her. "Her parents are showing up."

"I'll have Willow dust the guest suite. Xander's in there to nag her into letting herself get treated and fussed over." She pulled back, walking off to tell that to Willow.

***

Xander walked outside the next morning, nodding at the three agents out there. "Are you here to arrest me for getting Gloria out of their hands?" he asked bluntly. "If so, can I finish my cup of coffee first? I've been up all night with her."

"Not that I know of, sir," one of them said, looking at the others. "We're here to talk to a Mr. Harris about what he had been doing for the last six months." Xander sipped his coffee and waved a hand. "Why would you think you needed arrested?"

Xander quit drinking to stare at him. "One of the slayers got taken in Nigeria." The agent went pale and shuddered, shaking his head. "So if that's a problem, I'm really sorry I had them help me destroy the forest and things."

"We have no known orders on arresting you for that and if we did, I'd probably backtalk my boss," the SHIELD agent said firmly. "Considering Agent Hill actually smiled about how you got her back and got justice for the others? I doubt SHIELD will say a word, Mr. Harris. The others? I believe they're FBI?"

"Homeland," the pale one corrected. He took a deep breath. "No, sir, I don't have that order and I'm just glad you managed it. My partner and I are here to go over your reports on what you did in lower Africa. Everyone's fairly confused."

The SHIELD agent smiled. "I'm here to go over the updated visions you've had over the ones you gave Agent Hill, Mr. Harris."

"We'd like a copy of those," the Homeland agent said.

Xander nodded. "We have a sitting room. The girls are getting ready for school." He led them inside, letting Andrew fuss at them by getting them coffee. "Can you find my laptop, Andrew? Please?"

"It's in the kitchen. Willow was looking at your reports and scowling."

"I hope she didn't erase things," he sighed.

"No, she didn't." He went to get it and brought it out. "Here you go. Let me light a fire under some tardy little slayer butts."

"It's school time!" Xander yelled. "Either go to school and learn something today or you have me for sparring all day long!" Suddenly girls streamed and ran down the stairs for the bus stop. "Have a great day, ladies," he called with a smile and a wave at their backs.

"I might go to school to avoid sparring practice," Faith quipped on her way down the stairs. "Let me hit the infirmary to do some fussing of my own." She looked at the agents then shook her head. "Battles you didn't admit to?" she guessed with a smirk.

"Yup. Sure did."

"Good!" She went to help with Gloria. She needed a good, strong shoulder to cry on and Faith was plenty strong.

Xander got into the files they wanted. "There you go. The visions are in the secondary word processing screen." He finished the new cup of coffee, letting them read things.

"Not even we saw one of those," the SHIELD agent said with a smile for him. "Good job, sir."

"Thanks."

"Are you super powered?" one of the Homeland agents asked.

"No. I just had to handle it because I was there." He shifted and shrugged. "No one else would."

"Good point. How did you handle it? Weapons used perhaps?"

"I'm out of artillery. I need to play more kitten poker to get some more." They groaned and went back to the reports.

***

That afternoon, Buffy was in charge of looking at the notes sent home. "Wow, not one single report of missing or undone homework. Everyone was praised for being attentive today."

Andrew smiled at her. "They weren't listening to me so Xander yelled that if they didn't go and learn something today he'd be sparring with everyone this afternoon."

"I'd go be booky for that," she decided, signing the ones that needed to be signed. "Report cards are soon, right?"

"Four days," he said dryly.

"I'll go get the 'good job' cards tomorrow then." She put all the notes back into the folders the girls put them in to be reviewed. "Giles will be proud." She got more coffee and went to afternoon sparring for the mid-aged minis. She paused when she saw a flash. "Hi. Do we know you?" she asked.

Xander came out of the living room, staring at her. "Hey, Yihana. How's your watcher? Is there a huge problem or are you just in for help?"

"Since we found out why, Gregory's been drinking himself into a coma," she sighed, looking at him. "You're not answering your phone?"

"I broke it getting Gloria out of idiot hands." He waved. "Buffy, this is Yihana."

"Hi." She shook her hand with a grin. "I'm going to do mid-age mini slayer sparring. You can come chat and then we can talk to your watcher together. Giles did some drinking too after I started college because he thought I didn't need him as much. Proved him wrong by calling up the spirit for the first slayer." She grinned. "Now we only see drinking when it's a huge problem or Willow's done something."

Xander nodded. "Yes you do." He went back to the agents. They were still looking over his past reports. It was like no one had seen them before. Which could be with Willow being the one that answered the house's emails.

***

Xander accepted the invitation that had been in his email, nodding at the agent waiting on him at the club. "What's up?" he asked, sliding in across from her.

"I didn't invite you, Harris."

"Huh." He looked around. "I don't see any of my usual contacts." He handed her the note. "I didn't see anyone else here that I'd know."

She looked and nodded. "It was sent in my name." She looked at him. "I got the report from the agent that came to debrief you. Thank you for not muddling his mind too much, even if you did give him bad ideas of how to handle situations when he had to." He smirked at her. "It was nice of you not to confuse him. How many did you hide?"

"I got them into my reports file."

She stared. "How many weren't reported?"

He shrugged. "No comment?"

"No." She stared at him, smirking slightly. "How many?"

"Probably about thirty, forty incidences, mostly with humans. Not like the Council cares about that." He stared at her.

"Can we know?"

"Nope." He grinned. "I'm all about the lacking nagging." He got up and went onto the floor to dance. He hadn't heard any of the songs they were playing but that was about normal these days.

Agent Hill sent that to the agent, who said he got a few of them by finding his diary. Still not everything but about fifteen or so of that forty that were missing. Maybe they'd be able to find something from their contacts down that way. Hill reminded him he wasn't Harris so he couldn't do the same things Xander did. The agent sighed back but agreed he couldn't. He didn't like artillery or training teenage girls.

***

Xander was getting down on the dance floor when his 'staring at me' feeling started. He glanced around casually. He spotted the guy staring and frowned some. He nodded at his dance partner, going to get a drink from the bar. "Can I have a coke, no ice?" he asked.

"No liquor?" he asked, moving to pour one.

"I'm driving later."

"Sure." Xander paid and walked off sipping it. He caught the guy's eye and headed back to the bathroom so he could slip out the back door the back parking lot. He nodded at the bouncer. "I just saw an ex's new guy staring at me," he told the bouncer. "It's not going to be a fight. He looked like he figured out why she's my ex."

The bouncer nodded. "I've had a few of those."

"I've had a few that could've been hell goddesses," Xander quipped, cracking him up. The guy came out. Xander nodded to the corner, walking over there. "You're setting off my supernatural radar. Why?" he asked, taking a sip.

"I'm not harmful, kid."

Xander shrugged. "I have a whole different criteria for dangerous than most of us. Dating Anyanka did that."

The guy nodded. "We heard." He grinned, pulling out a card. "Slight issue that's calling in a pinch hitter for a panic."

Xander blinked at the card then at him. "Aren't you a math guy? I saw your article in a magazine on the plane."

"It's my off-season job," he quipped with a grin. "Gotta do something when I'm not making toys."

Xander hung his head, shaking it. "Don't your mortal family mind?"

"They decided they didn't want to make toys." He shrugged. "They're happier."

"Then why ask me?"

"Because Santa fell and broke his leg in five places," he said. Xander winced, sipping his soda with a head shake. "We've had a small problem with another clan of elves that split off over quality issues about five hundred years ago. They want to stage a hostile takeover and Santa can't defeat it right now. We need a pinch hitter."

"You guys play baseball?"

"My brother did." He grinned. "It has to be someone from the right sort of background."

"You know most everyone considers me a violent goofball, right?"

"Yeah. I did a background check through Don before we picked which one to ask. It's you or someone who's into very sunny Care Bears who could never help us if they show up."

Xander nodded, finishing his soda and tossing out the plastic cup. "I need to call the house and get a few things."

"I can meet you there in an hour?"

"That'll work." He shook his hand. "How long?"

"Six days maybe. He's got accelerated healing. We just need someone who's a bit tough to sit there and be in place."

"I can do that." He found his keys on his way around to his car, heading back to the house. He stopped in the infirmary. "Hey." Gloria looked up from her pudding at him. "I'm being asked to go sit on a seat for six days or so to keep something from happening."

"Must you?" He nodded. "Can I come?"

"It'll mean walking and stuff." She grimaced, shaking her head. He leaned down to kiss her on the head. "I'll be back in about a week. It'll be okay."

"They fuss."

"It's that or being in the hospital for a few days."

"No thanks. I'd hate that." Xander smiled. "Go be scary."

"I'll try." He tweaked her ear. "Yihana's here."

"I heard," she said with a grimace. "I'll talk to her soon. My mom's coming tomorrow." He nodded. "Get a new phone?" He pulled out his new phone to wave. "I'll call if I need saved."

"Seen Gweliza?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"She's *excellent* at being a guard puppy. She's six but she's even driven Andrew into a headache and leaving her alone." He smirked as he walked off. He paused in Gweliza's room, tapping gently on the door. She opened it, staring up at him. "Gloria needs some guard dogging for the next few days. She's not used to all the fussing and her parents are showing up tomorrow."

The young slayer smirked evilly at him. "I can help her be less fussed over. We know she's in the infirmary for really bad things. I won't ask her why." She closed her door with a smug look at her roommie, who shook her head but they got back to bed. They had a long day tomorrow guarding their injured sister slayer from fussing. It'd surely get them cookies from Andrew.

Xander went up to pack and came down to the kitchen. "I got called in as a scary seat holder for about a week to stop a problem, 'Drew."

Andrew looked at him. "Okay. Who did you sic on Gloria?"

"Gweliza." He smirked. "She's feeling too fussed over right now and her parents are coming."

"She'll do good." He handed him a pastry he was baking for breakfast. "Keep your phone on."

"Not sure if I'll get phone reception." Andrew took his new phone to work on then handed it off. "Thanks, 'Drew." He walked outside, nodding at the two elves waiting on him. "Hey." They grabbed him and his pack, taking him with them. They made it back easily enough thanks to jet packs. Xander nodded his thanks. "Have some fun, guys. This can't be worse than a hell goddess a few times." He walked in, smiling at Bernard. "I've suitably helped Gloria not get totally fussed over when her parents show up tomorrow."

"I heard one of your slayers got hurt," Santa said from his seat. He had a full leg cast and it was propped up on a stool.

Xander grinned. "Yeah, slightly, but I had help getting her back." Santa nodded. "They earned it."

"Agreed," he said. "Don't be too scary. We try for less scary and more imposing."

"I'm very imposing when I want to be." He grinned. "I've got it. Go snog the missus and rest that. It'll never heal straight if you don't rest."

"Point. I'm supposed to be seeing a meeting party."

"I can help. I learned diplomacy in the last few years." He grinned. "I had to."

"I saw." He stared at him. "Wow." Xander shrugged, losing some of the smile. "Before I probably would've applauded but now I'd probably have turned them into living snowmen."

"They'd hate that being in Africa and all." He dropped his bag beside the throne. "So, what's going on?" Santa handed over the request for the meeting. "I can help." He looked at the staring elves, smiling. "I'm Xander. I'm the on-site trainer for the slayers staying at home in Africa." A few shivered. "You guys have it, I'm just here to help for the broken leg thing." They nodded and got back to work. He looked up. "Is Gweliza on the naughty list?"

"Yup." Santa nodded. "She's a bit wicked. Especially with that hanging some kid upside down from the school's roof."

Xander raised an eyebrow then texted that to Andrew.

"How are you getting service?"

Xander grinned. "Andrew's magic."

Santa sighed. "I forgot you guys had your own version." Xander nodded, finishing that text and getting one back. "Bad?"

"Andrew's going to talk to her. He won't put up with bullies since he was bully bait for his whole life so far." He put his phone back into his pocket. "How many are coming?"

"Probably six. That seems to be a good mediation party."

Xander nodded. "With warriors watching just in case?"

"I'd hate to think so," Santa said. "Maybe though." He shifted with a grimace. "I slipped off the roof fixing a decoration."

Xander looked at him. "I've fallen out of a few trees."

"Feels about as bad, yeah." The doors were imperiously knocked on. "I think that's them."

Xander went to answer it, smiling and waving off the elves staring. "Guys, let's let us talk." He opened the door, staring at the elves. "Hi. Are you the meeting party?"

"Who're you?" one of them demanded, sneering at him.

Xander grinned. "I'm Xander. I got asked to come up to help with a slayer problem. A few of the girls are classified wrong because of the slayer spirit plus we've had a few supernatural communities that have wanted to know why Santa doesn't come see them."

"Oh," the speaker said, blinking at him. "That's very odd."

"I'm just like that. Come in, please. We'll sit and chat about the problems going on. That way no one's too huffy?" They nodded, walking in and following him back. He smiled at the young looking woman. "Hi."

"I'm Abby. I'm the Maker of the Cocoa." She nodded at the elves. "Would you like some? We have three kinds right now."

"We don't want to risk things," one of the warriors said.

Xander looked at him. "Do you really think someone like Santa would poison your cocoa?" he asked. "I'd never think about Santa that way. Well, Anyanka's version of Santa she told us about maybe but not this guy. He's the nice guy. He believes in fairly chatting about things." He stared at the speaker.

"We'd love some cocoa," he said with a fake smile. Abby smiled back and got them cocoa so they could put what they wanted in the cups.

Xander sipped his first. "Thank you, Abby. That's as great as Joyce Summers' version and I don't even have to come up with a personal problem to talk to her about to get some." She grinned and walked off. Xander passed on the pot. "Here, fix your own cups. That way you get what you want in it." He added another marshmallow to his cup. The others let one of theirs taste things then made theirs. "I used to wonder about the D&D split, Santa. Is there one point where the froofy elves in the books came from these or were they made up? And what about the dwarves?"

He blinked. "I think their elves are from another realm. I'm not sure. Curtis? Or you, Bernard?" He sipped his cocoa.

"Their elves are from another realm, not our kind, Xander. Dwarves we do have."

Xander smiled. "I ran into the K'Fr'csat clan in Africa. They loved my battle axe with me since I helped take out something trying to attack them. Did they come from another realm?"

Bernard considered it then shrugged. "I don't know. I've never read that anywhere." Xander grinned, sipping his cocoa. "As for the supernatural children... we hadn't thought about that community needing servicing. I'm not sure how we'd go about that. I'll send a message to Mother Nature."

"She hates some of them for immigrating," Xander warned. "Screwed up some ley lines or something."

"I'll ask, maybe that's why our radars went wrong last year." He went to ask that.

Santa smiled at him. "I wouldn't mind. All kids need happiness."

"Refugee camps?" Xander asked.

"I tend to work through relief agencies. I can't just magically gift those kids because they'll think it's a trap."

Xander nodded. "I can understand that. I ended up working with a slayer near one of the ones in Rwanda. They got most of my food and stuff to make sure the kids could make it."

"I'd do the same thing," Santa agreed with a smile. He looked at the elves. "So, what's the reason for the talk? You never included that part." The elves looked at each other.

The speaker stood up. "We have been feuding for many years."

"Which I've never understood," Santa admitted. "It seemed like a silly argument that got you hurt. I don't understand why that bothered you so much."

"It is not the way it's done."

"Sometimes you have to move on with the new technology. A lot of children want electronic toys these days instead of simple dolls."

The elf slumped, shaking his head.

Xander pulled out his phone, looking something up. "These are the most popular toys in the US right now for human kids," he said, letting them see the list. "Most kids don't really understand what their parents used to play with, much less what kids back in the really old days played with."

The elves looked at it, grimacing. "That is not what we'd expect." He looked at Xander. "Do no children play with simple toys?"

"There's plenty of kids who would adore getting *any* toy," Xander said firmly, staring at them. "Not just kids in refugee camps but kids in orphanages that have to get theirs donated and poor kids who rely on programs to get them any sort of present. I was one of those and my favorite toy ever was one of the last I got. It was a red firetruck. I was six." The elf shuddered. "There's a place for them but a lot of kids want the things with lights and whistles that play back, the easy toys they don't have to use their imagination with. Now, there's still plenty of kids that would appreciate *any* toys. If you wanted to make toys for them, they'd adore it. There's a lot of kids displaced by wars that a simple toy would give them great comfort."

The elves nodded, looking at Santa. "I do give to them when I can," Santa agreed. "He's right. For a child that's been torn from their home, a teddy bear or a doll might be the most precious thing in their lives. We have a few elves who work on those sort of projects then I go through aid relief agencies to get them to the children. Those kids are generally paranoid."

"And often not in a religion that celebrates Christmas," Xander added. He finished his cocoa and put the cup aside. "If you wanted to make toys for them, could that be worked out, Santa?"

"Definitely. It's a badly needed thing and that sort of craftmanship could bring a lot of joy. They had to shift some of the elves off that for the tv related toy section last year. All the action figures off cartoons and movies."

Xander grinned. "I have a few of those."

The speaking elf looked at him. "Do you celebrate the true spirit of Christmas?"

"Every morning-after when there's been a battle," Xander said honestly. "Christmas can be any day of the year. It doesn't have to be done on a certain day. Even Virginia knew that. You should watch that special. It's how a lot of kids transition from believing in Santa to knowing that he's a spirit of good will. Though a lot of them lose it thanks to their parents."

Santa nodded. "It's sad when kids have to grow up too soon." He looked at the man next to him then the elves. "If you're willing to come back and be employed elves then we'd more than welcome you home."

"As long as you didn't cause stress with the others," Xander said. "Even the Amish can get along with the rest of the community."

The elves nodded. "We will consider that, Santa. It's a thing that would make many happy."

"You're all welcome back," Santa said simply. "Even if you do have to have a year or so to adjust to the way things are frantic around here." The elves nodded and left to talk to their people. "It's a good point, kid."

Xander smiled. "I've seen nomadic kids with smartphones in Africa." He shook his head. "But still not wearing a lot of clothes."

"Sometimes updating is a bit strange on a body," Santa said. "Go rest. You're tired. I can tell." Xander shrugged but smiled and let Abby lead him to a room. He sighed, looking at Bernard. "He's right."

"He is," he agreed. "We do what we can. Those ones coming in would help that whole division beef up to what they needed to be. That and they'd probably have trainees. We could use more of those too."

"Aren't you and Amita going to give me future elves?" Santa joked with a grin.

"I haven't even shown her my ears yet," he admitted. "She's sweet but she's analytical and she'll probably get a bit upset."

"Uh-huh. Still have to tell her before it causes a divorce, *Charlie*," he said dryly.

Bernard smiled. "I'll tell her later. Can I bring her up?"

"You're marrying the girl. It's about time Abby and the others met her."

"Good point." He walked off smiling while sending her an email.

Santa looked at his wife, who winked at him and gave him a cookie. "Thanks," he said quietly.

"Kids like Xander grow up and do better for their kids if they can."

"I know. I wasn't the Santa for him anyway." He kissed her. "Thank you."

"Of course. That's what Mrs. Clause does." She walked off. She had some more stuff to do before she had to start elf education again tomorrow. Including grading math tests. She really needed Bernard to teach that lesson. They got it easier from him.

***

Xander made it home, smiling at the non-perky slayer that was up and hobbling away from her mother. He hugged her. "Hey. You better?"

"Not yet," she said, staring at him. "Where were you? Andrew said you were up north. Was that the ice demons fighting over who the baby's daddy was again?"

"No, a peace treaty thing." He kissed her on the forehead. "If you're still injured, shouldn't you be on couch rest?"

"The minis are hogging it."

Xander leaned into the living room and pointed at two of them. "Let Gloria lay down too, ladies." They huffed but let her have some of the couch. "She's injured and has a lot of bruises too. Be nicer to your sister slayers."

"Not like you can threaten us with christmas," one huffed.

Xander walked in and looked down at her. He wouldn't wonder how his life intersected that way. It just happened around him; weird things connected all the time. "Why not? Just because you don't believe doesn't mean that there's not enough power of belief to make them real." She gaped. He stared back. "Belief, especially innocent belief, is a powerful thing. Beyond that, who crushed that innocence?"

"A boy at school," another girl said with a pout. "He told me I was stupid to still think there was a Santa."

Xander leaned down to look at her. "You may not believe in the big guy that delivers presents but that doesn't mean that others don't. Did you tell others that?" She nodded, looking pouty. "That's mean to take some of their innocence away. Beyond that, there's a physical and a spirit of Santa, Deedra. The spirit is why we go out and we give more to charity and help our fellow beings during the holidays. All that goodwill toward all beings stuff." She looked up at him.

"You can believe in Santa or not, that's not up to me. It's your belief system. There's plenty that say faith like that is very important. Look at Willow's. Hers is strong enough to manifest a goddess that everyone says is a myth when she needs to. That's the power of belief and I won't have you older minis ruining it for the younger girls. Am I clear?" She nodded. "Good. Now go recant that." She sighed but went to do that. It'd stop the crying he was starting to hear upstairs.

Gloria smiled at him. "I still believe in Santa. No one in my family could put together things like bikes yet I still got one that was correctly put together when I needed a new one." The girls all stared at her in awe. She nodded. "My parents can't hammer in nails, much less put together stuff like bikes. No one else could've. I guess that means there was some supernatural help in there, huh?"

"Wow," one said. "That's goofy." Xander scowled. She huffed but settled down.

"She's right. The one year I tried to put together a bike she ended up in the hospital from the injuries because it fell apart under her and cut her," Gloria's father said in his polite British accent. That girl stared at him oddly. "Unlike over here, our ladies don't have handymen that you can hire for simple things. You only hire them for big things, like fixing the house. Definitely not fixing a bike."

"If Santa's real, then how do reindeer fly?" that mini demanded, hopping up. "They're not aerodynamic. They don't have wings."

Xander grinned. "How many times has Willow and Andrew floated things?" She gaped, then stamped a foot. "I'm told it's a special potion inserted into their sugar treats. Flying sugar." He smiled. "I'd try some but I'd probably never come back down. You can ask Willow if she's found the recipe for that potion."

"She agreed it was dumb to believe in things."

Xander nodded. "Yet, she believed strongly enough to bring back Buffy once and nearly Tara. We all have a higher being we believe in, even if it's just our souls. Santa's like that, only he's a spirit that tells us to be nicer, kinder, and help our fellow beings."

"Our fellow men," she snorted.

"No. If you want to help a charity that helps demon children, go for it." She stared, mouth open, making squeaky noises. "What? You think there's not poor among them? It's not like they make CEO money, Deedra. There's plenty of them that work with really low wages but it's better here than where they came from. Some of them do celebrate Christmas. Some don't. You can't judge someone on where they come from. If you did that, then you're a racist and I'm ashamed of that behavior." She nodded, sniffling. "Racists are bad people. I think you need to think about that. The only ones we're allowed to discriminate against are doing bad things and you know as well as I do that those aren't just demons. We've all seen bad humans on the news."

She nodded. "I've seen them." She sniffled then looked at him. "I don't want to be bad."

"Then you need to think about things. What you say to others and to us. What you joke about, all that. Because I heard about that joke you retold the other day and I would've paddled you so fast you would've regretted ever learning to talk." She slumped but nodded. "Good. That goes for the rest of you. You girls need to learn how to think before you speak and act. Buffy and Willow have enough problems with that. You can't follow them there. That's why whole species hate us, because Willow said the wrong thing and came off being bigoted against them. Got it?"

They nodded. "Good. Talk to Gloria's parents about that. They did a great job with her. She did a great job in Africa and she was kind to everyone. Even the ones who weren't all that nice." They nodded, pulling her parents in to talk to them. Xander walked off, batting Willow on the head. "How dare you take some of their childhood innocence," he hissed, glaring at her. "Don't they have a hard enough life without you going all 'there's nothing there to believe in' about things?" He glared at her. "Is them believing in Santa really going to hurt them?"

"The other kids will pick on them. They did me."

"They picked on you because you wrote that paper trying to join Christmas and the Hanukkah traditions. You were confused and you came off being snotty to them. That's why they made fun of you." He stared at her. "For that matter, you ruined a few of their childhood innocence moments too, Willow. Everyone deserves to be as innocent as they can be before life crashes in on them." She huffed off. He waved at her back. "If you're that concerned about the kids growing up strong enough, go volunteer at a refugee camp somewhere near a war. Then see what strong enough really means."

She slammed her room door. He went to tell on himself. He leaned into Giles' office. "I chewed the redhead a new one for ripping some childhood innocence from the girls. She's like the anti-goodwill toward all beings at times. Always has been," he said at Buffy's glare. He stared back. "The girls need and deserve as much innocence as they can hold. That's why we do the evil and dark things for them. So they get to keep it as long as possible."

"Yes it is," Giles agreed. "I had no idea she was bursting that bubble." He sighed. "Are the girls traumatized?"

"Tiny bit but we had a talk about the spirit of Christmas even if you couldn't really believe. Then I suggested that the girls adjust the snotty, bigoted attitude they learned off Willow too. Before we have another warrior clan mad at us," he said when Buffy hopped up to glare at him. He stared at her. "You know she did."

"They're demons."

"Do I need to paddle you too so you remember we work with the peaceful community and only hate the ones that hate us first?" he demanded, leaning in the doorway. "Which isn't exclusively in the demon community?" She gaped. He stared back. "I can't find it in myself to really appreciate anyone or anything that'd try to kill us all. Anything else I'm just fine with and the girls need that sort of open mindedness."

Giles nodded. "I will have to side with Xander on that. We have always worked that way, Buffy. What's gotten into you?"

"I'm wondering if she's possessed or just cranky and needs a vacation," Xander said, staring her down until she grimaced and looked away, slumping back into her seat. "Can we send her on a vacation, Giles?"

"I can, yes. I think it'd do her good. Willow as well." He looked up places. "There's a charming spa and there's almost no activity near there." He booked it for her and printed out the confirmation. Faith had taught him how to do that sort of thing with Fred, from the LA team. "There you go, Buffy. Go have a good holiday and you'll be back just before solstice so you can celebrate the holidays with Dawn."

She nodded. "Thanks." She looked at Xander. "Are you going to bite me again?"

He smirked. "You're not my type, Buffy. Why would I bite you?" He got out of the way. "Go pack. That way you can escape before Willow hears and tries to join you." She smiled a tiny bit as she hurried off to do that. He looked at Giles. "Is the coven that way too?"

"Not usually. A few have moments. As you said, Willow's almost always been that way. It's probably from her parents."

Xander nodded. "True. Her mother delighted in breaking any innocence in people too. Said it did them good to have reality instead of fantasies. Then Jesse told her that learning to believe in something like Santa and the Tooth Fairy meant that you learned how to believe in bigger things later, like God and stuff. It horrified her that she was ruining them for later higher thoughts and religion." He rolled his eyes.

"How were the elves?"

Xander grinned. "Pretty good. Great cookies and cocoa." He smiled. "The peace treaty went well."

"Good."

"How did you hear?"

"One of the local community saw you talking to one." He stared at him. "I do have my own contacts."

Xander smirked. "Which is good."

"When were you going to mention those reports that the agents found?"

"I sent them."

"Oh dear."

Xander nodded. "Yup." He walked off. "Hey, Andrew, anything for nibbling on? I've had cocoa and cookies for the last five days."

He handed him a salad and the bottle of dressing. "Eat that before you start to bounce." He went back to making salads for later. Xander settled in there to eat. "Thanks for yelling at Willow. She's gotten so judgmental recently."

Xander finished the current bite in his mouth, nodding. "I've noticed. I don't know why. She used to take these spells but it's been a long time since the last one." He ate another bite, shaking his head. "I hate salads."

"Yay. It's good for you sometimes."

"I know." Xander finished up and went to watch tv with the minis. They needed more big brother and parental support at times. Gloria's parents were doing good so he went up to his room to fuss over his weapons and clothes.

***

Xander leaned into view of the teleconference that happened every other month between the houses. "You girls in London have one coming up. I sent you the vision. Have we prepared and warned the local communities?"

One stared at him then looked at Kennedy. "We do?" she demanded.

"I don't think I got an email from you," Kennedy said, glaring at him.

He looked and sent it again. "It's in the house's email account. It's a mystical convergence moment. It'll be demons hiding from off-realm aliens. Especially the evil elves coming for Asgard." The slayers in the conference groaned. Xander grinned. "There's a college in the way. You might want to warn them?" he prompted when the girls in London printed it out to read and groan at. He nodded a few times.

"Doing it tomorrow. I go there," one said with a sigh at the end. "I need to do my papers sooner since it's going to hit the library."

"Have you guys run into Dr. Foster and Darcy Lewis?" he asked. They stared at him. "Thor's girlfriend and her intern, who is very cool. Dr. Foster is trying to rebuild the Bifrost so she's a kidnaping risk, ladies. I sent all this months ago."

"I see that email," one said, glaring at Kennedy's back. "We hadn't seen it before but we will now and we'll keep an ear out for her or her intern, Xander. Thank you."

"Welcome. Not that we'd mind the Bifrost being rebuilt so I can kick a few off this plane and send them home. By the way, Sarji, one's at your college. Going to have a problem directly after the thing in London?"

"I saw that," she said, grimacing. "I've got eyes on him, Xander."

"His staff thingy?"

"I found the part here. The other two?" She looked. "Sarah?"

"Can't find it," she admitted.

"Get with me later, I can maybe clarify where it is," Xander said. "If not, say hi to the SHIELD guys?" They nodded. "Okay. Yell if you need me to come calm things down after the thing in London, Kennedy. There's probably going to be some panicking like we had in LA."

"I can do that," she said.

"Okay. Let me know if you need me." He looked over Buffy's head at her. "SHIELD is going to have major issues. Have you seen that vision?"

"No. I know there's one on my bedside table. Today?"

"Next year, early next year. And it's horrible so I'm going to New York to warn them in person."

"Okay. Taking Gloria?" She looked at her.

She nodded. "I can do that. My parents are back there," she told the ladies in her former house. They nodded they'd check on them. "I can travel with Xander. He's good to travel with and he listens to nice music."

"We can get you your own MP3 player," Willow said, patting her on the hand.

"Killer. See me tomorrow morning so we can travel," Xander said. "They might just show up out of thin air so we don't have to travel."

"Okay." Gloria smiled at Willow. "It was pretty cool traveling with him in Africa. I learned a lot about the locals and the communities they have down there that we don't have elsewhere."

"But....the *thing*," Willow said, giving her a horrified look.

Gloria glared at her. "He had warned us to stay inside the house due to the local rebel group of morons. I stepped out for air. They thought white women were exotic and I might be a good ransom hostage," she said bluntly. "That was my stupid for not listening and I still managed to take out a lot of them before they overpowered me." Willow shrank back.

Buffy hugged her. "Sometimes bad things happen to great people. You're proof of that and you're strong enough that you survived and you're getting better." Gloria nodded, smiling at her for that support. "Remember, we're here if you want to talk, Gloria. We might not be able to understand all of it but we're really good at letting you talk to us and cry on us if you need to."

"I can do that, Buffy. Thanks."

"Welcome." She smiled and smoothed down her hair. "Remember, I'm like the cool big sister that gets you pretty clubbing clothes for all of you girls." Most of them smiled at her. "Okay, two last problems outside the ones he sent to London and Spain."

***

Xander walked outside that night, shaking his head. He looked up. "Yo, whoever's watching, we need a SHIELD agent," he called quietly.

One of the officers on the street coughed. "The agents staring at you in paranoid fascination have all left for the day, Harris. That way they don't see the girls on patrol. It's down to us watching the house."

Xander looked at him. "I've had two visions now of major agencies in rubble."

The officer frowned. "That sucks."

"A lot. And it's going to take huge issues to solve without dissolving three agencies total." The officer grimaced. "So if you see a SHIELD agent?"

"Got it. If not?"

"I'm traveling to where I usually find them." He grinned.

"Good luck."

"You too. There's a vampired girls roller hockey team that's supposed to come up tonight." He walked off to the officer warning dispatch about that.

***

Xander walked into the building he wanted the next day, Gloria with him. He smiled at the receptionist. He pulled up his ID, earning a horrified look. "We have a problem we need to talk to someone sane about. We have information to share with them."

"Yes, sir, I'll call up there. Do you have an appointment?"

"No, I have visions and I saw three agencies in ruins." She winced and called up there. That got them to a middle manager. Xander and Gloria got into the elevator with him then Xander knocked him out. They came off the elevator to guards. "I need Stark please, guys. I'm the Council's seer and this one's a dirty agent. I've seen a lot of dirty agents so I need to tell someone I know isn't involved. We'll go peacefully though." They got led to a sealed office area. Someone walked in and Xander stood up. "Miss Potts."

"He's dirty?"

He pulled out two envelopes and one tape. "The last vision I got taped from almost the start when I felt it starting. I saw why SHIELD wasn't at that mass apocalypse battle in a few years. They're not in existence thanks to a ton of dirty agents in nearly every branch of them and three other agencies, plus the next president's dirty as hell too." She blinked. He grinned. "I know a few I'd trust but they're in DC and that's a cluster of screwed upness since the head guy's there."

"Oh, dear." She called that in. Another redheaded woman walked in. "Natasha."

"Xander," she said.

He smiled. "Thank the Goddess you're okay." She quirked an eyebrow up. "HYDRA."

"We've heard."

"That they're infesting SHIELD?"

She shook her head slowly. "I had not."

He laid out the first envelope. "That one I wrote out. I was in the middle of nowhere up north helping with something when I had it."

She came over to read it, grimacing. "That's bad."

"This was the second one and we got a tape recorder in time to get most of it as I saw it so I couldn't miss anything." He pushed that envelope over and the tape. She looked at the contents, sucking in a long, deep breath. "It is *that* important. Otherwise I would've just done my usual thing and found Hill somehow."

"That is important," she said, bundling it back up. She stared at him then at Gloria. "Are you well?"

"A bit sore."

"She's going to the spa in a few minutes," Xander said with a grin. "She needs it and deserves some self-spoiling to help that."

"Battle?"

"We were in Nigeria," he said. "She wanted some fresh air." Natasha winced. "Which is why they had that charming lack of forest."

"That was excellent work," Natasha said. "The spa uptown?"

"Yes. I've sent one of the girls there before after a problem with her boyfriend."

Natasha nodded. "They're good and they do have physicians on staff that aren't nosy," she told Gloria. "I know a few agents have went there after bad incidents. However they damaged you when you were getting free, they can help." She looked at Xander. "Why were you up north?"

"Peace treaty." He grinned.

"Where were you?"

He shrugged. "No comment. Sorry. That one's classified."

She sighed. "That's so wrong."

"Sometimes." He stared at her. "You can tell the right ones? Including *him*?"

"Yes. I can also help end that."

"You saw the list I saw?"

"Yes. I'm not impressed with them and they won't realize you were here."

"I would've went to Hill but she's in DC."

"That's a bad area anyway. If they should try the girls?"

"We hold no strategic uses for them and if they try, I'm not the asshole to screw with, Natasha. I can pull some of the damndest things out of my ass."

She smiled, patting him on the cheek. "I'm counting on it."

"By the way, London? Say hi to Darcy for me?"

"I saw that."

"Kennedy didn't pull it off the house email and tell anyone until I told the girls during our teleconference."

She sighed. "I shall let others know. We have watchers guarding Dr. Foster. In case others want her to rebuild other things."

"I think the girls should too."

"It's a joint project they could like. Especially once Thor's back." She nodded and left.

Xander grinned at Pepper. "I'm sorry we had to so rudely barge in but it's just that important."

"I understand that." She handed over her card. "Tell me and I'll get it to them or Stark, Mr. Harris."

"Xander please, Miss Potts. I'm not the formal one. I'm the one that trained the girls in Africa. I'm just a hunter guy." She smiled so he took Gloria with him up to that spa. "They specialize in treatment of post battle injuries," he told her once they were in the cab. "Of all sorts. Everything from helping heal big injuries that take sutures to torture injuries." She nodded. "But yeah, letting that out meant that no one in SHIELD came after me for deforesting that part." He looked at her. "Beyond that, Natasha's a good agent. She's been one since before she was your age." She looked at him. "She's a mentor you should look up to and I saw you two working in the same battle with some witch. That was part of one of the other visions they already knew about."

"That's nice."

He leaned closer to her. "Remember the lady from the battle in New York? That was her." She moaned. That woman was a massive crush for the slayers. "Learn from her. Okay?" She nodded. "Good girl. Because I saw you having to fight against a SHIELD agent for some reason and her showing up."

"I can work with her. Will she hold that against me?"

"No. She won't. I'm pretty sure she's seen worse, Gloria." She nodded. "Even than you were when we found you." She smiled slightly. "That also lets her know that there's a slayer up here in case someone tries to kidnap you. That way you have a guarding sort listening."

She nodded. "I could like that. I can't fight yet."

"Exactly. New York has a lot of good people on our side." She smirked a tiny bit. "Don't worry about it. If you see anyone from that battle, you trust them. Especially that archer guy? He's a lot like me and a local."

"Got it." They paid the cabbie and got out, him walking her inside. "I'm Slayer Gloria Sanders. I have an appointment."

"I have you here," the receptionist said, smiling at her. "We don't have anything beyond you need the spa for muscle problems?"

"And then some," she admitted.

"Our head of the spa is actually a nurse," she said, smiling at her. "You can talk to her about anything like sutures so she knows how to cover things." She paged her, getting an older, grandmotherly looking woman out to join them. "This is Slayer Gloria, Miss Penshaw."

Xander smiled and shook her hand. "Henrietta."

"Xander." She kissed him on the cheek. "You're the one that was traveling with him?" Gloria nodded. "Then I'm sure you're very sore after six months in Africa with his crummy jeep that needs new shocks. It hurt me just watching him drive off when I was down there to help remove an agent he had found." She smiled. "I was an agent for a while."

Xander patted Gloria on the shoulder. "Want me to wait?"

"I'm good. I'm a big girl now."

"Okay. I'm going to get a meal I don't have to hear nagging about or justify why I'm not living on the slayer diet." He grinned. "Have fun. You're checked in for three days." Gloria nodded. "Oh, this is Hershey's great-aunt."

"Oh!" She smiled. "I've met Hershey. She's a little hellion but sometimes she has great manners."

Henrietta smiled, walking her off. "I tried so hard but her mother still taught her manners. Some day she'll be hell on more than her brothers' nerves." They went through the doorway. "Tell me what sort of injuries you have, dear. Xander didn't share a thing. He left it up to you."

"I'm having a lot of muscle soreness with moving. We...um, we were in Nigeria and I needed some air one night."

The woman winced. "Any stitches?" Gloria shook her head. "Any tears? The hot oil soak might hurt those."

"No, ma'am, those healed."

"That's fine then. Let us know if anything's too hot or it hurts your injuries." She helped her into a robe, looking at her healing cuts and bruises. "Three days should have you right as rain again and we do have a nice counselor on duty if you need one." She looked at the young woman. "You're not the first we've seen or the worst we've seen. You're actually pretty healed and we only need to work on the muscles while you work on the thought stuff." Gloria relaxed. "Just ask and we're here. Including for cookies. They're for lunch you know." She led her to the massage and soaking room. "Let's start with a salt water soak. That should nicely loosen up any muscles and if it hurts we'll switch to a milk one instead." She helped her into the tub and settled her on the seat. "Sore? Anything stinging?"

"No. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'll see you in an hour, when the water starts to cool off." She petted over her hair and left her to soak. She doubted a massage would help her right now. Her muscles were the wrong sort of sore so they'd have to do something else instead. Xander was right to bring her to them to heal. They had definitely seen worse.

***

Xander looked up from his lunch when someone sat across from him. "Hill."

"I heard you were looking for me." She put the envelopes on the table.

"I'm not going near DC since the head guy's there."

"I heard the tape too. Where did you have the first one?"

"Classified. Sorry. I was helping with a peace treaty. It's where I went after that club."

"Figures." She sighed, looking at him. "It is that bad."

"It is worse than that bad. Did you actually go all the way through the tape to when the head building got destroyed by their own creation and Natasha put everything online? Or when SHIELD went so far down they became noted on a certain bad guy list?" He glanced around then at her.

"They're ones I trust."

"Six you shouldn't." She stared. He nodded. "Ask Willow for a revelation?"

"I can do that." She stayed calm. "How soon?"

"I saw spring."

"Charming."

"I also saw a *thawing*."

"I saw that. He's going to hit the roof."

"Well, that fits well with everything hitting the fan," he said dryly, smiling at her. "From the president down."

"I saw." She grimaced but cleared it up. "Why are you up here?"

"Gloria needed the spa for some sparring injuries."

"Poor girl." She leaned on the table, leaning closer. "You could've called."

"What makes you think they don't have you tapped and probably us tapped?" he shot back, smiling at her. "It's not like they'd like the slayers. We'd be a wall and they'd see me just as normal as Buffy does."

"Point." She sighed, leaning back. "Thank you."

"Welcome. Want walked home? I'm heading toward the slayer house here to check on them. They looked like they had the flu during the last teleconference. Also, Thor's coming soon." He grinned.

"I saw that one as well. How soon?"

"Few weeks."

"Oh, dear. I'll.... Yeah, I'll let them know."

"Start in reverse order? At least London's partially safe?"

"Point." She tapped out a message to a number. "The girls are all sick."

"I'm hoping it's the flu. Otherwise we'll have to replace them and get them to safety." She nodded. He finished his lunch and bagged up his debris. "C'mon, you're on my way." She nodded, walking off with him. One of the senior agents smiled at him. "Nice tie, dude. Did you get it at Abercrombie?"

"No, from my suit shop up here, Mr. Harris."

"Cool." He walked off with Agent Hill. "Giles could use something nice for the holidays."

"Yes he could. He deserves it for having all the slayers nagging him."

"They tried with me too. I held sparring class instead." He grinned. She snorted but smirked a tiny bit. "It helped. A lot." They got into a cab and he gave the cabbie the address of the slayer house. The demon looked back at him. "I'm checking on them. They looked like they had the flu."

"They're pregnant," the demon cabbie said.

"Then they get a nice trip somewhere safe." He smiled as they drove off. "I still can't believe those sort run a clothing manufacturer for money generation."

"It's cheap and teenagers seem to like that brand." She grimaced, glancing back then at him. "Thank you."

"Welcome." He looked at her. "Be careful? Please? I'd hate to have to talk to Fury."

"Gladly. He feels the same way, Xander."

Xander smirked. "I threaten his manliness."

She laughed but didn't comment. They dropped him off and he paid then she took the same cab to her office. She got out and went up to the main video conference office. "Clear it, this is level 8 information." The workers left. She dialed the phone, getting Nick Fury. "Sir, this is a classified information talk. You need to be alone," she said at his look back at the head of the World Security Council. "Even of him, sir."

"Fine. Excuse me but Hill's being paranoid." He walked off to take it in the elevator instead. "What happened?"

"Mr. Harris had another vision and got into Stark Industries to tell them. Including finding a dirty agent there and talking to Miss Potts."

Fury blinked his good eye a few times. "He broke in?"

"Asked to speak to someone and took out the dirty agent in the elevator." She held up the sheets to the camera. He nodded once. "It was that important. We need certain people out of DC."

"He's on a mission."

"I do not suggest that as his team is not exactly what he needs right now with a demon trying to get him."

"I'll let him know."

"Send him to Harris, sir. He's up here. One of the slayers is at a healing spot."

"I heard about Nigeria. He did good. Faster than I could've gotten it handled too. She okay?"

"Relatively. He introduced her to Agent Romanoff and he's a bit paranoid."

"He usually is but he's got a good reason. People are out to get him." He hung up and called someone. "Abort the Silent Flight mission. Send the Captain to New York immediately." He hung up and went back in there. "Sorry. The seer at the Council had another one about an upcoming problem."

"One we need to know about?" he asked, looking up from a folder.

"He's had a few, including one coming up in a while in London. Some mystical convergence that'll cause problems from the other eight realms. Something about elves."

The head of the World Security Council shook his head. "That's going to be messy. Any other good news?"

"He managed to save a slayer that got taken hostage in Nigeria by going to some poker contacts." His boss stared. Fury smirked. "He did good getting her out of there."

"That's good. The girls have an important, dirty job." He nodded. "I hope she'll be okay."

"We all do. There's not enough slayers. He's seen another mass apocalypse in three years." His boss grimaced. "One so bad that even the evil ones were jumping in to help."

"That's bad."

"We're working on it."

"Good. Go do that. I need to know how bad it'll be, Nick."

"I'll find a copy and make you a copy." He walked off thinking. The slayers might be victims if he didn't get them help. Or Harris didn't.

***

Xander stepped out of a shadow when a man on a motorcycle stopped. "Captain?" he called quietly. "I need to see you now." He held up his ID. "It's bad." The man got off the bike and followed him. Xander waited until he took off his helmet. "Good, it is you." He held up the two visions. "The second one's horrifying but from what little I've heard, he's real familiar with what your female teammate went through."

He frowned but read it over carefully. "That's more than we knew."

"Yeah, but I also saw terror courts and military people and three agencies going down in ashes. And that's the nicer part."

Steve Rogers read the second vision, frowning as it got worse. He paused at one and stared at him. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I checked the vision's picture against the exhibit. Unless he's got a twin....." He shrugged. "He doesn't know anyone. Or himself."

"Fuck," he muttered, going back to reading. He frowned and sighed. "That's bad."

"That's very bad. Agent Hill had a few around her earlier." He flipped over a page to show him the list he had made. "The ones I recognized."

"Oh, dear."

"Yup." He stared at him. "I hate being the bearer of bad news. This time, now we know why SHIELD wasn't at that mass apocalypse battle in a few years."

"Yeah," he agreed, bundling them up. "Mine?"

"Yes. And it had a few extra tidbits the one I gave to Hill didn't. That was your team and your people's needs to know."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris." He shook his hand. "Why did I get evacuated?"

"Because your whole team is them. The head guy is the head of the Security Council," he said quietly. He shrugged. "I'm sorry. All but *her*."

He nodded. "Anyone I can trust?"

"Natasha. That jogging guy." He grinned. "We know about him. A few of the slayers found their way to him. Also, FYI, I had to remove all the slayers from the local house for their own safety. They all got pregnant. We're getting a few younger ones up here. They should be fine."

"That's good. Thank you."

"Not a problem. This shit sucks and I don't want that to happen. If I have to go give myself to some ancient God to solve it, so be it." He smiled. "There's a few who'd love to claim my ass and that's a pretty good enough reason." He walked off. "Be safer. Remember, they're SHIELD too and built the system."

"Yup." He looked then walked off because someone was pulling up to their location looking too interested. The Tower was a few blocks off and his bike was as safe here as anywhere in New York. He made it into the tower and went to Stark's floor. "Some things got hidden. He gave me special information."

Stark took the papers to glance over, nodding at the extra information. "Damn it."

"Yup." He sat down. "Are we all safe?"

"No. Bruce is off doing doctor things." He reread them then handed them back. "That one?"

"Bucky," he said quietly. He looked at him. "Did your dad ever say anything?"

"No. Not a thing. I'm already looking over other things. JARVIS found the other AI and it's being monitored. We've gotten somewhat started." He looked around then at him. "I can't find Barton."

"We can find him and warn him."

"Good. This is going to be bad."

"Very." Steve got a beer and sat back down to come up with a plan. He needed a plan. "London?"

"Thor."

"Will they try for him?"

"Probably."

Willow appeared, head tipped to the side. She smiled and handed over something to the Captain. "That's a revelation like Xander asked me to make. You shouldn't be able to say anything about them if you're not part. Unless I screwed up a tiny bit then I'll fix it. Test it for me?"

He held it, looking the stone over. "Hy...." He broke out choking.

"Good. It works." She smiled. "It has about a thousand uses. Then it'll wear down. Let me know if we need more." She disappeared.

Stark looked at it, taking it from his hand. "Huh. That's handy."

"Very." They shared a look and Steve told Hill the Council had just found an interesting artifact.

***
Part 3 by Voracity2
Xander looked amused at the guys who were trying to rob him at knife point. "To blatantly steal a movie line, those aren't knives. This is a knife," he said, pulling out his hunting blade. "Plus it's blessed for when I have to stab bad demons." They ran off. Xander grinned, putting it back into the holster, which hid it. He heard someone coming up on his blind side and ducked out of the way, pushing them against the wall. "Why are you trying to harm me?" he asked coolly.

"NYPD, sir. You're hiding that illegally."

"I'm Council and I'm on patrol." He let him go. The officer glared at him. "I am. I have my ID if you want to see it."

"No, I know about you," he sneered, pulling out his gun. "Let's go."

"Um, no." He dialed his phone in the holster.

"911, what is your emergency?" the phone said.

"I have some guy with a gun in front of me who claims he's an officer who just tried to sneak up and attack me, ma'am. He's not in a uniform, doesn't have a badge, did not produce ID, and if he doesn't put that little pea shooter up I'm going to have him eaten by something. Can I please get a patrol officer to handle this?"

"Where are you, sir?"

Xander looked up. "No damn clue. I'm Council and I'm on patrol but I'm not with the local house. They all had to be moved for their own safety earlier. I'm near a deli that says Broadway and Miccles?"

"I can find that in the directory. How near?" the 911 operator asked.

"In the alley across the street. I just ran off a group of muggers."

"I'm a detective, boy. They won't help you. You assaulted me."

"First, I didn't assault you. You were sneaking up on my blind side and tried to grab me. All I did was hold you against a wall to see what you thought you were doing. Second, if you were an actual officer, you would've pulled cuffs, not a gun. Or your badge when I asked what you thought you were doing walking up on me that way. I didn't learn to be any less paranoid in Africa, dude." The man cocked the gun. "Sure, shoot me with 911 on the line."

"They're some of us. She'll cover."

"No I won't," the 911 operator assured him. "And we do tape all calls, sir. There's a patrol unit a few blocks from you, sir. Do you have a name?"

"Xander Harris."

"He has concealed weapons," the officer said.

"Yes I do. Then again, I'm on Council patrol. They're totally invisible until I have to pull them," Xander said, staring at him. "And I have a carry concealed license for the US. Given by the government so it's good in all states. Especially when I'm on patrol." He waved at the cop car. "They're here, ma'am."

"Thank you, sir. Please stay calm."

"I'm fairly calm and a bit amused," Xander admitted. "This pea shooter won't be killing me and the guy behind it won't be either." He walked over to the officer. "Officer, I'm the one that called 911." He pointed. "That's the guy who snuck up on me and pulled a gun."

"I'm a detective and he pulled out a concealed knife well outside of street legal," the guy said. "Then he assaulted me."

"He snuck up on my blind side and tried to harm me. All I did was push him against the wall to see what the fuck he thought he was doing." He pulled the knife and put it onto the hood. "And yeah, there were muggers." He pointed at the staring group up the street. He also pulled his ID and license. "That's my authority to carry any weapon I damn well see fit, especially on patrol. Which I'm on."

"Okay," the driving officer said. "Let me run your ID, sir."

"Sure." He let him do that. "Let me call the people on the other end to not panic. They'll do that and try to protect me by doing something stupid." He sent a message from his backup phone that had his contacts in it. They sent back an 'okay'. "Go ahead. They'll not do something stupid."

"Two phones?"

"One has my contacts from Council business. The other's my personal phone."

"Oh." He ran it, blinking at it. "The file says you're allowed to have any weapon you need for Council business."

"As I found most of the slayers locally to be in bad health earlier, I'm doing their patrol tonight. I was doing that when I was nearly mugged and had to pull out my knife." He put it back into the holster. "Then that guy snuck up on my blind side."

The other officer got his ID to run it. "It says he is a detective and his boss wants to speak to him about his overtime problem." He looked at the detective. "He assaulted you, Detective?"

"I pushed him against the wall to see who he was," Xander said. "I'm just off patrol rotations in Africa training the young slayers." The driving officer shuddered. "Yeah, we had a lot of days like that," he agreed, grimacing. "I'm a bit paranoid but rightly so usually. It's not like there's not a price on my head. I don't know who he is but he acted like one of them. I'm not going to let someone take me out. The girls would have to put up with Buffy training them in out of the way areas. Or Willow, who thought all of Africa spoke English so I could talk to them."

The driving officer shook his head. "Calm down please, Mr. Harris."

"I am." He grinned. "I was having a nice, easy patrol with a hot pretzel until the attempted mugging, which I handled on my own. Then he tried to jump me and he didn't say a *thing* about being a detective until I called 911. He claimed NYPD but nothing else. That's why I called. If he's yours, he's not supposed to sneak up on me that way from what I know about that stuff."

"No, he should've announced himself," the officer agreed, staring at the detective.

"If he wasn't NYPD, you guys could handle the poser or whatever he is." The guy drew his gun again and fired at Xander but Xander moved himself and the officer out of the way then threw something at him. The 'detective' screamed as the dagger sunk into his shoulder. "Huh." He looked at the officer he had moved, helping him up. "Sorry."

"No, thank you for making sure I didn't get shot, sir. Where were you hiding that dagger?"

Xander pointed at his holster with a grin. "That was in the open."

"Oh." He looked at his partner. "You okay?"

"Yup, he shoved me when he shot at Mr. Harris."

Xander shrugged, leaning against the hood. "I don't know why. I have no clue. That's why I called you guys."

"We can get that straightened out," the officer agreed. "We'll have to confiscate that knife."

"That's fine. It's not special to me."

The officers nodded and got them help. The shift supervisor for the borough showed up too. They talked to him and then came back. The shift supervisor looked at Harris. "Do you wear spandex?"

"No, sir. I'm with the Council. I'm the guy who trains the girls in Africa actually."

"Oh," he said, looking at the detective who was complaining loudly. Then at him again. "Your ID please?" Xander showed him those and his permission to carry weapons. "Did the detective ask for that?"

"He didn't even say he was a detective until I called 911. I heard NYPD but he didn't have a badge. That's why I called."

"That's a wise move, kid."

"Thank you, sir. I'm just trying to finish patrol. The local girls are sick."

The guy stared at him. "I got that memo."

"Putting that around means someone could hear and they could be in danger."

"Point. You guys are all paranoid."

"Then again, there's plenty out to get us. Including nice, normal people who hate us for acknowledging demons. We've had attacks on the local house by some of those sort. And I have a price on my head for handling a problem."

"I'd be paranoid too. This knife?" Xander pulled his hunting knife then put it back. "That's definitely concealed."

"My license says I can."

"It does," he said, handing it back. "I don't like this situation."

"I didn't like him sneaking up on my blind side on purpose. Then again, how did he see my knife since I was in the alley thanks to the muggers pushing me in there?"

"I don't like that insinuation any more than the situation," he said.

"Me either but I'm a realist and there's a handful of assholes in any organization. That's why we had to defend the main house against military guys a few months back."

"I saw that." He frowned. "Still hate that argument."

"I hate that it's a reality. Then again, there's still Klan members too. Someday we'll get past all that. Humanity has to some year."

"Point." He watched the guy being loaded into an ambulance. "You're staying local?"

"For about a week."

"We're going to have a few talks about whether or not you're going to be charged."

"He tried to shoot me and nearly got one of your officers."

"He did, sir," that officer said. "Mr. Harris kindly got us both out of the way."

The shift supervisor nodded. "That's good and I'm not doubting that. Though it's your job to arrest the guy, not his to throw a knife at him."

"I tend to react fast because attacked before," Xander said, grimacing and putting his hands in his pockets with a slump of his shoulders. "I know I'm a bit paranoid but for us that's called surviving. He's not the first one that's tried to shoot me."

"This month?" the shift supervisor asked.

"Nope. Two demons tried to shoot me on the way back from Africa a few weeks ago to get the price on my head. We were on our way to the airport in Nigeria."

The shift supervisor sighed, but nodded. "Where are you staying?"

"The local slayer house."

"We'll come see you tomorrow. Let us higher ups talk about this."

"Yes, sir." He hung up his phone, getting a dirty look. "911."

"Not a bad idea," he admitted, stomping off. They had to talk to that detective to see what he was thinking before they decided to charge the guy. Plus find any cameras locally.

Xander shrugged at the officers. "Should I finish my patrol?"

"No," one said.

"Okay. I'll go back there with a pause to get dinner." He walked off, going back there. Giles was going to be yelling for weeks about this.

***

Giles answered the phone with a sigh of displeasure. "Please be good news and not a salesman or a problem," he said in greeting.

"Well, I narrowly averted a problem," Xander said. "I didn't get arrested when the officer tried to sneak up and shoot me for that price on my head."

"Oh, dear Lord, Xander!" he complained.

"I was scaring off muggers, Giles! He snuck up on me. He tried to shoot me in front of other officers too. They finally got him to admit he wanted the price on my head, and found out I have more than one," he finished more cheerfully. "So I did a great job solving things that made religious nuts cringe in that fun way. This new one's even from a religious nut in the US. One of the ones that's decrying us all and put a price on the house to take out any of the minis they could get to. So kinda watch the kids on the way to school better?"

"I can have someone do that, yes," Giles said dryly. "Why were you not arrested? I ask because I got a call from them asking about you and they told me what happened."

"Because he was trying to kill me and all I did wrong was push him against the wall to see why he had pulled a gun on me."

"Charming. Xander, do go on vacation somewhere boring until my ulcer goes away?"

"No can do, bossman. I was going to handle London since Kennedy doesn't seem to want to. Speaking of, should I beat her ass in sparring this time to make her quit pouting about me?"

"She wasn't going to?"

"No. She had that vision in the email, had read it, and hadn't done a thing with it for over three months. And that was the second, reminder, sending. I sent it when I had it."

"Oh, dear."

"Um, yeah. Gloria said she spotted it in the email and asked about it but Kennedy said it wasn't our job."

Giles rubbed his forehead. "I'm not certain if proving yourself better will end the pouting or not. Last time it made her more pouty, drink a bit, then go heavier on her training. Which then got you yelled at by Willow."

"Okay. So...London then back here to help with the new one, which is in your desk drawer. I realized I hadn't told you." Giles pulled it out to read it, grunting in displeasure. "I'm pretty sure they're going to try the girls, Giles," he said more quietly. "I may be paranoid but.... We won't bend to their visions."

"We can initiate protections," he assured him. "Andrew!" The younger man walked in. "Here, from Xander."

"'Drew, I'm pretty sure they're going to think we won't bow and scrape."

"I won't," he agreed, taking it with him. "We'll work on protections."

"Watch the religious nuts," Xander called. "They've got a price on the young minis."

Andrew leaned back into the office. "We saw that when a few of them became cute little baby hedgehogs. Willow, very not amused that early in the morning."

"I had wondered about that," Giles admitted. "I hope she turned them in and back into humans so they could be arrested."

"Yup, when the cops got there to help," Andrew said.

"'Drew, they could be in the locals," Xander said. "They're everywhere else."

"Good point. Thanks, Xander. Be more paranoid but get a girlfriend or something."

"After London," he said dryly.

Giles snorted. "I hope we don't need to do more than guard and warn."

"Kennedy still hasn't warned that college. I called to check and she lied to Kia about doing that because I called the college and they said this was the first they'd heard of it."

"Crap," Giles muttered. "Thank you for being so proactive about that, Xander."

"NP, Giles. Just like always." He groaned. "Ooh, shit, I hate those."

"Vision?" Giles asked.

"Yeah. I'm not going to London. As soon as some of us are out of immediate reach, they're coming." He hung up, dialing another number. Out of service. He tried another one. Still out of service. He squinted at his phone, hitting one last number. "Vision," he moaned. "Damn it." His ex asked him what was going on. "If I go help in London's thing in a few days, they're going to attack the girls." He blinked. "Slayer house in New York. Thank you." He hung up and leaned his aching head against the wall. "Fucking people with ideas," he muttered. His ex got there with something for his headache, taking him to his hotel room to baby him a bit. He hissed what was going on in the guy's ear and got a nod it'd be helped.

When Xander was finally asleep, that ex went to call that in. Unfortunately he was eaten before he could report to his bosses at HYDRA.

Spike looked in there, shaking his head. "Only the evil ones like the whelp," he said dryly, calling his own ex. "Smuffy, guess who got sent back to help with the girls being attacked by HYDRA if their stronger protectors who can take out humans go off to handle things." He hung up and went to get Xander up. Xander scowled at him. "He was an octopus."

"I have no idea why they picked an octopus when a hydra was a snakey thing." He sat up with a groan. "Are you going to London?"

"No. Neither of us are. They can handle it and Kennedy will get her arse swatted by the watcher git." Xander nodded, getting up with help and out to the slayer house. Xander invited him in and called Gloria to warn her. Then the other minis that weren't in safe locations.

***

Andrew walked up to the meeting area, throwing in a gas grenade then releasing all his little robotic friends. Then he strolled off happy with what he had done. The agents standing there got smiled at. "They wanted to hurt slayers. Little girls aren't targets and I nearly took over the world. They're pathetic compared to my geek trio." He smiled as he disappeared thanks to Willow. "All nanited."

"Good," she agreed.

"Can we unleash the other problem?"

"Yes, on the ones that come here to hurt the girls. They're fair game, Andrew."

He smirked, calling up plans to make his system finish making things. It had been Warren's but he was putting it to a lot better uses. They all forgot he used to be a bad guy. Sure, Warren had been insane and a genius. Jonathan had nearly gotten all the fame and chicks thanks to that book deal. Andrew, he had *plans*. Great plans. Xander walked in and Andrew squeaked.

Xander looked at him. "I don't care if you take over the world, Andrew. Leave me a beach full of bikinis."

"I can do that." He went back to his ideas. "Hi, Spike. Back again?"

"Feel like a damn yo-yo," the vampire complained.

Xander looked at him. "You don't look like Buffy, except the dyed blond hair." Willow squeaked. Xander grinned at the vampire. "Thanks for the saving by the way. I thought I could trust that ex."

"He probably went for the easy power." He smirked at Willow. "I'm back."

"Ladies, house meeting!" Xander called.

"The minis are at school," Willow complained.

"We can talk to them after the girls who are old enough to protect themselves figure some stuff out." They wandered into the kitchen. "'Drew?"

"Get in here!" Andrew called. "It's a damn huge power play going on by certain Powers!"

The rest of them came in, including the watchers. Xander nodded. "Okay, guys. Truth. I've had six visions now of problems going on thanks to old programs coming back to bite everyone on the ass. They're the ones that let the Initiative be started to see what they could do. They're the ones behind a few wars. We're a blockage to their colons full of shit because we'd be the ones helping the ones they hate." He laid out things.

"Wars? Like Vietnam?" one of the watchers asked.

"As in the Cold War," Xander said. "These guys were a teenaged organization during World War II." They groaned. "And we're a block of 'that ain't right' to put it like someone else did." The girls all groaned. "That plus there's a *charming* new price on the minis by some religious nuts."

"I always wondered if we should use walnuts to represent them or almonds," one of the girls said.

Xander grinned at her. "Brazil nuts since almost no one likes eating them." She grinned back. He pointed. "These are the visions. They may know I had them. We had to warn some people we've had to work with in the past."

They gathered to read them over. Giles grimaced at the new one. "That's rather rude of them." He looked at Xander and Spike. "We'll make sure your rooms are comfortable for an extended stay."

"Thanks."

"Ta, mate," Spike agreed.

"His is still in the back of the basement, past the emergency rooms," Andrew said, glancing up then going back to what he was working on. "There." He smiled. "That'll help."

Xander stared at him. "If you're doing something that'll make you seem like Jonathan when he was having his 'I'm a sexy geek' douche moment, don't let it hit the girls."

"I'm not! I have more class than that."

Xander grinned. "I sicced a few succuba that owed me kittens on the ones I knew about."

Andrew moaned. "That's kinda evil, Xander."

"Thank you!"

Buffy stared at them, then shook her head. "It's gotta be a guy thing." She looked at Giles. "What're we doing about this?"

"I believe we should move them somewhere safer."

Xander looked at him. "They're international. I do have an idea of one I can ask for help. I'm not sure if he would. Which would really mean I'd need to be in London for a day or so."

"Can one of the girls ask instead?" Giles asked.

"I don't know if he'd listen."

"See if you can, then if not you can go and we'll be on guard." Xander nodded. "Any other ideas we have?"

"Can protections help?"

Willow shrugged. "Against normal humans? It'd hit all of you too."

"We could tie it to the old marking that we got upon our oaths," one said.

"Except that ninety percent of us don't have them because they stopped doing that thirty years ago and no one can make the special ink to make them now," another said. He scowled at the old researcher. "Thanks for thinking the only good ones are from your years."

"I would've walked away from him," Buffy said. "He couldn't have made it in Sunnydale. He's too uptight."

That watcher nodded. "I fear I would've been, yes." She grinned at him. "Then again, I wouldn't have let you date."

She shrugged. "I got to go on dates even when I shouldn't have."

"And almost joined the cheer squad," Andrew quipped. "Until Amy's mom went psycho to get limited fame again."

Buffy nodded. "That's still freaky."

Xander grinned. "You know, someone saved her statue. It's in the museum for Sunnydale's disappearance. It's on the website."

Willow and Buffy both sighed and shook their heads. "Great," they muttered together.

"As long as she doesn't blind anyone else or burn them alive," Andrew said dryly. "Can we get her out of the statue?" Xander shrugged. "Giles?" He shrugged. "Then that's probably a great thing." He went back to his plans.

Giles looked at the other watchers, telling them about Amy and her mother. They all groaned and shook their heads. "Which is why I did tell one girl she couldn't join the pep squad but she was more than happily granted permission to join the flag corps for the band."

"Girls gotta have fun," Buffy quipped with a grin for him.

"I doubt she realizes how much practice that is," Andrew quipped back.

"She's good at practice stuff and I can help her learn new routines," Buffy said. "I did great when I was a cheerleader. I always learned routines after a few times going over them."

"Cordy said she learned them after one run through," Xander said. Buffy nodded. "Speaking of cheerleaders. Buffy, your facebook page? Can you make it less revealing?"

"Yup," she agreed. "I can do that later."

"Thanks."

"What's a facebook?" one of the younger research watchers asked.

"A social media site where you can connect to people," Willow said. "Businesses are on there too so you can sometimes get coupons and stuff on sales or special promotions as well."

"Oh, one of those things. I don't deal with those."

The oldest watcher shook his head. "I'm on there to keep track of that one nephew of mine. He shares *everything* about his children and wife on there. I've seen more pictures of the tots than I would if I was sitting there staring at them. Though I have found some humorous sites on twitter, mostly role playing ones."

Willow grinned. "I've seen a few of those too."

Giles shook his head. "I leave all such things to you, dear. I'm not up to that. Thankfully Fred made sure I could do the important things on my computer." He looked at Andrew since he was scowling. "What are you doing now?"

"Arguing with my nanites."

"What are those?" Giles asked.

"Small, microscopic computers," he said, looking up with a grin.

"I don't want to know. I'll probably never understand." He walked off. The others left to hold a watcher meeting about how to protect the younger girls.

Xander looked at the slayers. "Go over defensive stuff with the rest of the girls. They go nowhere without a chaperone until this is done with."

"How will we know?" Faith asked.

"You'll see three agencies in rubble with rats fleeing the wrecks."

"Oh, okay. That's pretty definitive." The slayers walked off to go over ideas on how to protect the girls. Xander looked at Willow, who went with them. He looked at Andrew, who smirked back.

Spike shook his head. "Barmy. The whole lot of you are barmy."

"No one else does the crazy stuff we do," Xander quipped then grinned.

"Xander! Why is there a report that you took out a rebel camp on the news!" Willow yelled.

"Where?" he called back.

"There was more than one!" she shrieked.

He walked out to look at her. "It could be false, Willow." He looked at the news report she had pulled up online. "Huh. Yeah. They had a battle just a few miles away and we had no weapons. They had weapons and idiots who decided they'd rather die than fight the demons. So we got some knockout gas from the local military and got the weapons we needed. They carted the group of idiots to the battle and laughed when they ran off because that proved they weren't that manly." He walked off.

"You can't do that!" she shrieked. "It's wrong! And it's evil! And you're not trained for that!"

"The military guys suggested it. That means it's not wrong or evil since they were going to do it first if they could figure out how. As for not trained? Yeah, I learned on the job, Wills." He grinned. "The agents heard about that one. It was in a report. Didn't get to that one first to edit it?"

"Your grammar is bad!" she defended.

"Yay, Sunnydale English classes," he said sarcastically.

She huffed. "You still can't do that."

"Why not? That's how we take down nests," Buffy said. The others nodded to back her up. "Usually with a holy water grenade instead." Xander grinned and nodded. "So we all learned it at the same time, Willow. Can you quit screeching before the neighbors hear you? They already give us really weird looks."

Willow huffed. "We need to make sure he's not giving us a bad reputation. Like the slutty two we had to talk to about their reputation."

Faith looked at her. "I didn't talk to anyone about that stuff. If they wanna get down and less stressed, go for it," Faith said.

Buffy nodded. "I told them to keep it more quiet. Their funsies are their business, not ours." Willow scowled. "It's not. The same as it's not anyone's business who I sleep with or who you sleep with."

"I don't get a reputation as a bad, naughty girl," Willow said.

"It's not our fault," Faith said. "The rest of us enjoy the touching and stuff to wear out our stress. Beyond that, it's a miserable life to be alone forever and ever."

"I'm not going to be alone forever," Willow pouted.

"You need to get out there, go meet people," Buffy said. "After this one, go meet nice people. Please? We worry about you." Willow nodded, sighing at the end. They hugged and got back to the plans on how to protect the girls. That way she and Willow could get back to nagging Xander about his problems.

***

Xander stopped the two agents coming toward the gate by blocking the way. "No, sorry. No visitors today."

"We need to talk to the slayer Faith, Mr. Harris."

"Unfortunately we had a threat and we're not letting anyone not one of us into the house." He stared at them. "Why did you need to speak to Faith? I can get her out here."

"It really should be discussed in private." Xander stared at them. "She took out something last night that looked a bit unusual for your crew."

Xander nodded. "Spike went with them last night too. He said there was a species he hadn't seen before. Faith?" She came to the doorway. He pointed at the agents. "Question about the patrol last night?"

"Yeah. Bit weird." She strolled out. "What's up?"

"There was a species no one recognized?"

"Including us but it was clearly harmful since it tried to eat the trainee we had with us." She leaned on the gate next to Xander. "Even Spike didn't recognize it and he's got over a century playing kitten poker."

"Pictures?" Xander asked.

"The watchers have them. They said it's not a regional one that they've seen described in reports but they think it's described way back when things were all in Latin. They're going over there to see what they are."

"Let me know if they figure that out so I can teach the girls." She nodded. They looked at the agents again. "Why did they send agents to ask that instead of the local cops?"

"We like to make sure of those things ourselves," the other agent said. He looked at Faith. "Anything else that's unusual and sticks out about it?"

"Not really."

"Thank you, Miss Lehane. Have a better patrol tonight." He looked at Xander. "We're not the scary ones."

Xander smirked a tiny bit, leaning on the gate. "I'm a seer. I've already seen the next few battles." One of the agents winced. "So yeah, we're paranoid." He grinned. "Have a happy night, guys."

"You as well, Harris," the lead agent said, going back to the office. He looked at his partner. "How bad do you think it'll be?" His partner shrugged. "We'll keep an eye on the house. Just in case." He sent up a note to his boss that the slayer house had gotten a new threat and that it was a bad enough one to make the Council people paranoid. They didn't need paranoid warriors.

***

Three days after the London apocalypse battle, one of the slayers knocked on a door at an apartment. "Miss Lewis, is it possible to talk to Lord Thor for a few moments?"

"Probably. He's awake and on the roof."

"Thank you."

"Reporter?" Darcy asked.

"Slayer actually." She smiled. "Majoring in biology. I'd like to be a nurse but I hate the sight of blood."

"I can fully understand how that works." She led her up there. "Thor?" He looked over from staring across the city. "This is one of the slayers. She wanted to talk to you." Darcy went back to her job of helping Jane.

"Lord Thor, may I have a few moments of your time?" He nodded. She walked closer. "Do you know of slayers, Lord Thor?"

"No. I've heard very little."

She nodded. "We're all mystically chosen to handle demon battles. A lot of vampires and other things. We don't touch the peaceful ones now. We're not supposed to and most of the girls agreed that's a really good idea. But we've got a seer and he's seen a problem coming."

"A seer warned us about that one as well so my mother survived," he said.

She grinned. "Did he have an eyepatch?" Thor nodded slowly. "That's Xander. He's our main training guy and normal guy backup and all sorts of things the girls need but a few don't appreciate." She hugged the folder she pulled out to her chest. "The problem is that Xander's seen something huger going on behind a few other problems. Including with SHIELD and therefore your teammates in New York." He nodded slowly. She held out the folder. "He wanted you to have that. It's a copy of the visions and a list of displaced warriors down here that he was hoping you could talk into helping the slayers because we're pretty darn sure they're coming for us too and we're busy fighting the end of the world.

"Our powers won't let us hurt humans," she said at his look. "It breaks the slayer spirit that imbues us. The only one who has in recent memory went evil for a while afterward. We've got to rely on witches with an addiction and things instead and it's making a lot of us nervous. Even though Xander's moved us out of harm's way, or as much as he can, but we need people who can help us protect ourselves. There's twenty-five slayer houses now and only one Xander."

"That is a small problem to get around," he agreed, reading over the visions. He grimaced. "That is not good?"

"The octopus guys as he put it? No. Xander saw three government agencies in rubble. Including the one that you worked with. He said they're infested but working on finding the infection."

Thor frowned. "That is very bad then. Do others know?"

"Yes." She grinned. "Xander got news to a few people he trusts within government service. Including one of your teammates." He nodded, going back to reading. He growled. She stepped back. "What?"

"These warriors down here were banished?"

"We have no idea. Though Xander said the ones with the red stars are assholes that he really wanted to beat the hair off of." She shrugged. "He was in Africa and apparently ran into a few. We have no idea. No one will tell us what went on down there so we can't complain that our normal guy did spectacular things that'd worry us to death. We know he took out a rebel group and a few hell goddesses." She shrugged. "He doesn't tell us so we don't nag."

"That's a bit childish."

She shook her head. "You'd have to meet our senior slayer and our head witch, Lord Thor. They're the ones that decided Xander was normal, which was apparently a bad thing. They nearly drove him off. That's actually why he went back to Africa at one point, so they couldn't contact him as easily. It'd be like if your sisters made fun of you and rode your cape tail about being just a guy who jumped in and nothing special. That you had no skills and no uses in battles, even though you had proved them wrong many times."

"Some women were taught that bad habit," he said. "I'm glad Jane doesn't have it and Darcy only nags about things that are life affirming, like bathing." He frowned, going back over the file. He looked at her. "What, exactly, is a slayer?"

She pulled out her phone and got into the website. "This was set up for the very minis to go over. Things changed about four years ago. Before then it was one slayer at a time, then she fought, she died, another was imbued. Now, thanks to an apocalypse, we're almost all imbued and called." He grimaced again. "We had no choice. A higher being of some sort or another called the Powers That Be picked who we would be before we were born. To them, we're chess pieces on their bids for power yet balance. We have no clue about them and we hate them like hell."

Thor nodded. "I would as well. When was this first one created?"

"Back during the demon/human wars."

He winced. "That is long ago. It has not been undone?"

"No. Humanity needed someone to save it." She shrugged. "All I know is that because Willow had to wake seven up to get the First Evil, we all got woken up. The slayer spirit in the scythe couldn't do just the ones there to fight her and it helped make sure the rest of us survived. Now, we're allowed to be normal girls, have normal lives, date, all that. A lot of us are in college, including me. Before...the old Council wouldn't have allowed it."

"This is foul," Thor warned.

She stared at him. "I can no more change my calling that was put on me before my birth than you can fully change your hair color, Lord Thor. We can pretend but it's not who we truly are. The same as we're warriors who take out those hurt people. We were hoping we could get some help guarding our backsides but if not, that's fine." She took the folder back. "I understand. A lot of people hate us for having been born. Because apparently they think we can change it."

"I know you cannot, but you can choose not to be warriors."

She snorted. "Yeah, and I'm so sure you can sit there and watch people die when you could do something about it?"

He shook his head. "I could not."

"Neither can I. I had that choice and I chose to patrol while I'm in college so people don't die as often of being eaten by bad things. Now, your type of problem is going to attack us too. We're just hoping they don't team up with some of the higher demons."

He shook his head. "That kind would not."

"That kind called your cosmic cube somehow," she shot back.

He sighed. "Point." He frowned. "The ones that were banished would not listen to me."

"Could you ask them?"

"It would look bad on my position, child."

"I'm not a child, Lord Thor. Children don't go into apocalypse battles and I've been in four of them in the last three years." He stepped back, wincing some. She stared at him. "Is there someone we could ask who could?"

"There may be some who are down here of their free will, as I am. But my father would not allow me to talk to the banished ones."

She nodded. "I understand. That's all politics and stuff. It makes everyone do stupid things when they get involved in politics." He scowled at her. She stared back. "By the way, we're still guarding Jane and Darcy because the demons might want them to help them build portals." She gave him a pointed look. "Like that Ian guy? His last girlfriend is one and we think he's talking to her about what Jane's doing and that may be why he's working with Jane. Not that we think she realizes that but we're pretty sure he's helping some portal makers, which could cause problems." She shrugged. "Just be a bit more careful and if you need us, call. Darcy has our number. Thank you for your time." She walked off. That sucked but maybe he'd unstarch his hair long enough to come help them later, when things started to go bad.

Thor sighed and went downstairs, going to Darcy. "What do you know of them?"

"A lot." She looked up at him. "When they came into notice with the invasion in LA I did a lot of research into them. One of them was my penpal. She died in the next battle." Thor stared at her. "They're as much warriors as your are, Thor, they're just ordained by some cosmic power broker who has *ideas*. I feel sorry for the slayers, and all the people in the Council. There's literally about three hundred people saving all our asses from the evils that are coming from here and other realms.

"They're all exhausted, they've all got battle burn out, and they're doing the best they can to make sure the young ones get as normal of a life as they can until they're old enough to protect themselves and make the choice of becoming a full slayer or not." She shrugged, grimacing up at him. "They have zero choice in the matter beyond being one at home and protecting those around them, while being paranoid because the things that they fight would see them as ideal weak targets to take out, or going on patrol to possibly die that way instead."

"I have not heard a thing of them."

She nodded, pulling up a site. "This is on the slayers. It's not the formal site that they use for outsiders. This is their own site for the kids to learn as they grow up. Unless they know you're over thirteen you don't get anything but 'this is how you defend yourself if one shows up'. After that, you get information on how to handle one that's trying to attack you if you must." He settled in to read the information wiki. She noticed him tracking Ian and nudged his thigh with her knee. She shook her head. "We heard." He nodded once, going back to reading. Jane looked over. "One of the slayers had that 'bad shit's about to happen' look."

"Their seer saw people taking over multiple groups," Thor told Jane, looking at her. "Including trying the team and others." She nodded with a sigh. "Including taking down whole agencies."

"Sucks to be SHIELD," Darcy quipped. Thor scowled at her. She stared back. "They did it to themselves and they're thugs for the most part. They could fix it, they're not fixing it. They did it to themselves and we've got to suffer for them not acting. You would've gotten the bad ones out."

"I would have," he agreed. "I'm sure they're trying."

She nodded. "Me too. I'm also sure those same sorts would go after the slayers. They probably don't like their duty any more than you and I do. Which means there's a bunch of little kids in danger. I'm hoping Xander manages to pull a hat out of the rabbit this time."

"Children?"

She patted him on the hand. "When the mass calling went out, Rosenburg had to get seven slayers to stop the First Evil. From what they've released about that incident, it took seven to sew her back into her seal." He nodded slowly. "There were about twenty that made it to Sunnydale past the death squads the First Evil sent out to kill them. Willow tried to active just those ones. The slayer spirit couldn't do that. So all the slayers that were born at that time, they got activated." He hissed and shuddered.

"Xander's job is to travel to the really young ones to make sure they're learning what they need to know to defend themselves without it robbing their childhoods. He did that in Africa for about five years now. The old Council, the one the First Evil blew up, which is just up the road a bit, they used to take the kids in to raise them as they wanted as little soldiers without emotions or needs. Now they're girls who need to know self defense and sword work. The older ones patrol. The younger ones are girls and expected to go to school, be little girls, and slowly grow into their future duties. The head people used to be the hunting team out in Sunnydale.

"From what people said, that was a new approach. It went from one slayer and her watcher to a slayer that got friends who helped. She's been a slayer since she was fifteen. Most of them made it maybe two years if they were good fighters and nothing too huge happened. She's nearly thirty." Thor groaned. She smiled. "I'm really thankful they're around but I hate the life they're going to have to live, and if they need me to help them I'm there with whatever I can do."

Ian shook his head. "The girls locally are bitches."

"Yup. This is their punishment house," Darcy said with a grin. "Because the local community is pretty peaceful and doesn't need a whole lot of teamwork or negotiating. That's why one casually *forgot* to warn people that she had gotten the vision until Xander nagged her and another in the house warned the normals." She looked at Thor. "They're just as much of warriors as you are but it's a bad, dirty little war that'll never fully end. And Willow has a magic addiction."

"We have not heard of such."

"It was supposed to be secret," Jane said. "They hid it until the LA invasion." Darcy nodded. "We saw that and then wondered why SHIELD wasn't there to help."

"So did Congress because they asked all the agency directors why they weren't there. Xander was in Africa for that one. Buffy didn't recall him."

Thor considered things. "Why would the sort that would want to take down a government agency go after them?"

"Because people could hide behind them, Thor. They'd try to protect people. These new ones that we're hearing rumors of, they're not going to like that. They might even work against the new wannabe douches in charge. We don't know a lot about them and what we do know is that they're kinda evil from an old line."

Ian frowned. "What?"

Darcy looked at him. "There's rumors that a group from World War II was restarted somehow."

"So Nazi's?" he asked.

"With supernatural and magical ambitions," Darcy added. Ian winced. "They're the ones that originally had the glowy cube that Loki used in New York." Thor stiffened. She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. That one." She shrugged. "If they're coming, Jane is going into hiding."

"Us, Darcy. Us," Jane ordered. "I can't let you be the bait to give me time to get away." She stared at her. "They'd probably try to kill you and I'd hate that."

Darcy nodded. "In the scheme of things, you're more important and we'll talk about that when they bust in the door to kill us."

"I would stop them," Thor said.

"Big guy, they wouldn't come when you're here," she said. "They'd probably start a huge distraction to get most everyone who could fight to go fight it." Thor nodded that was true. "At which point in time, Jane and I are going into hiding." She grinned. "Okay?"

"That is a wise solution," he agreed. "I would not want any child to be harmed by that sort."

"Neither do they. That's why they asked," Darcy quipped. She turned back to her work. "I'm guessing they found a few warriors from your people down here?"

"Banished ones. Not worthy to be near those sort."

She stared at him. "Worthy isn't the issue, Thor. Able to protect the slayers is. If it was your friends, would it matter if they were banished?"

He shook his head. "It would not. Let me contact them. My father would scowl but it is needed." He got up to go upstairs again so he could call out to Heimdall to find them for him. That had put it into better terms for him. If it were his sister or even Sif, he would take any help they needed to protect themselves or their future children.

***

Xander looked up from his guarding the gateway when a reporter stomped up with a camera in tow. "We're not giving interviews, you know that, and no one's allowed in thanks to a threat."

"There's stories going around that you have *visions*," she sneered, letting her cameraman get him in frame.

He nodded. "They suck too. Who put that information out into the open? Because that just made me a huger target for taking out." He stood up.

"Prove it."

"It's not like I can call them up on command. I'm not the higher powers over the slayers that send them."

"You can't prove you ever had one?" she sneered, looking pleased.

"No, I can. I keep a journal. We warn anyone we need to warn in advance, even if they don't want to listen. SHIELD's brilliant at that. We had the vision that showed their last one." She sneered. "Buffy, can I have my journal?" he called. "There's a reporter here who hates visions."

She walked out with one. "The one before LA. We didn't listen either. We were stupid." She held it up. "Dated three months before it."

Xander nodded. "I hate seeing battles. I'd love visions of happy things instead of apocalypse battles."

The reporter stared at him. "Anything can be post dated."

Xander took his journal from Buffy, frowning but holding one up. "Predated London's by a few months." He switched pages. "The one SHIELD's presently fighting against." The reporter stared, looking horrified. He checked then shrugged. "I'd really love to have visions that had nothing to do with battles. Happy things would be *wonderful* to see instead." He closed the journal. "The loss of my eye opened the latent gift. Thank the First Evil's minion Caleb for that. He did it."

He shrugged. "Anything else, Miss Snide Whore?" Buffy walked off grinning. "Because seen your show. Nancy Grace is a better journalist and she's a media whore with racial problems about which stories she decides are important. She really should cover some of the other thousands of kids that go missing and are killed instead of the few that're cute, white, and usually female to get an emotional bite." The reporter backed off. Xander stared at her. "Is there anything else?"

"When's the next battle?" the cameraman asked.

"Ours? There's a few higher demons who're trying something right now but can't decide on a date. The next full apocalypse level battle instead of some higher demon trying to take down a city to own? June...we think the twenty-third. We've warned that area. Once again, they're ignoring it so they can complain later about it going on." He smiled slightly. "LA loves to do that and so will Chicago when this one hits them."

The reporter swallowed. "What about that thing with SHIELD?"

Xander shrugged. "We told them. We have an agent who knows to listen when things happen. If they didn't...." He walked off. "Please get off the gate before those ones I've foreseen use you as a cover to attack the girls."

"I...how often are you right?" she called after him.

He paused to stare at her. "I've had nineteen. Two were off-timed." She slumped. "And I've seen ones for the next three years as of last night. The ones who sent you are using you to try to draw out a problem by making me bait and I'm going to get them back for it. Want that story too? Watch for the rubble." He closed the house's door, taking his phone from Buffy's hand so he could call Hill and chew her a new one. Someone in her agency was a fucking moron and had just made him a huge target. He wasn't going to put up with that. That going to become an avatar of an ancient god was looking like a better idea at the moment.

Buffy and the four girls left in the house watched him ranting at someone on the phone, eating snacks while he put on the show of the moment. They didn't get drama like this usually, even with a houseful of girls.

***

Xander was humming the Jeopardy theme song as he worked on the bomb that had been on his car that morning. He finally stepped back and nodded. "Great. I get to find someone to deliver this up their ass." Someone cleared their throats. "I heard you come over. You could've jumped in."

"Our local bomb guy is out of town at a wedding," the officer said. Xander looked at him. "How good are you?"

"No comment." He looked at the bomb, then nodded. "Buffy, I need my phone," he bellowed. "Someone stole Stark tech to make a bomb to put on my car!"

"He's going to gut someone," she said, tossing it from a window. "The neighbors would probably like to still be sleeping, Xander."

He looked up. "If they're trying me I'm going to make sure *everyone* knows it. Fuck 'em." He called the main number for Stark Industries. "Hi, I just disarmed a piece of Stark International tech that was put together as a bomb on my car. Do you guys have an agent you'd like me to give this to? No, a local officer is but their bomb guy is apparently out of town at a wedding. Xander Harris. I'm at the main Council house in Cleveland." He smiled at the officer. "By the way, dude, visions suck but I still see apocalypse battles." He stared at him.

"Me?" he demanded. "Am I going to be possessed?"

"I saw you at one firing on the girls. You'd better hope you're possessed." The officer nodded, backing off. He smiled when someone came on. "Hi. Miss Potts. Yes, it is. Um... serial number... There's something that looks like a VIN number on a car." He read off that string of numbers. "No, nothing as a backup. I got it disarmed. I need to know who to hand it to that you'd trust to grab it. Especially since SHIELD had me outed as a seer yesterday." He looked at the bomb. "No, I disarmed it. Yeah, I can do some. I had to learn. I saw a few of them down there." He rubbed a hand through his hair.

"That'll be great. Are they someone I could trust?" He smiled. "That'll be great. I can do that." He stepped back. "Let me fire into the computer part." He fired off, making the computer burn. "There, the computer brain is down. Yeah, just parts and explosive materials now. Thank you, Miss Potts. No, I'm here all day thanks to them trying to use me as bait. In return, I'm letting everyone who's trying to screw me over be known. Thankfully you're nice people up there and I trust that group." He hung up, looking at the officer, who called that in. "We'll have a geek here soon. You can wait. Buffy can go make coffee."

"I'd rather not," he said. "Can you guard this? I'll have an officer on the street, Mr. Harris. You're a bit...creepy when you're in battle mode," he said, taking a few steps back.

Xander grinned. "I think that's the nicest compliment I've gotten in months, since someone called me an epic asshole of the ages." The officer nodded and headed off. Xander got a chair and some coffee to come out and watch the bomb in case it did something strange like change form and become a transformer. That would be cool but weird even for him.

When the agent SUV pulled up, Xander looked over. "I said to send someone I trust, not the double agent," he called. The agents stopped. "I have visions, people, including ones that had agents and officers firing on the girls." He stared at one. "Bark off, Sparky." He got back into the SUV. They had been told not to annoy these people. The lead agent walked over. "Name?"

"Coulson."

"Ah, the dead one." He sipped his coffee and pointed. "Does Stark actually know you're alive?" The agent stared at him. He stared back then took another sip of coffee with a small grin. "Your boss tried to use me as a bait and distraction. Pity. We don't play those games because it'll get the minis dead. Then I'd kill all of you. I'd be worse than HYDRA."

"Understood. Mr. Stark may know something."

"Uh-huh." He stared at him. "He is a double agent."

"To?"

"The same octopus loving freaks." He finished his coffee and stood up. "Make sure your boss, who looks like a bad copy of me, knows that I'm done playing. He's pissed me off. I'm done. And if this hurts one of the minis, he's gone too," he said quietly. "I consider him a lacking sacrifice but I know a few who'd take his blood and organs anyway to give the slayers a boon. And yes, I can do that."

"We can arrest you for that threat."

Xander grinned. "Sure, you do that. Then I call on poker debts to have your buildings invaded. I'm pretty sure some of the agents outside the bad ones have dirty enough souls to be tasty to some of them. The slayers and I are *out* of this battle. We wanted no part of it. That's why we warned you to fix your own shit. If we had wanted to play this game, I would've already helped fix it by going to a good reporter with information." Coulson grimaced but nodded. "Remember, we protect humanity too, and we're not the sort that can just hire new agents to take their places. Your boss or whoever did this is endangering humanity. We're done."

"I'll make sure he hears, Mr. Harris. Any other information? Like how you knew he was?"

"He's the direct protege of one who is. I mean, that supposed seer guy? The one you trained beside when you were about my age?" He stared at him. Coulson stiffened. Xander grinned. "Old friends coming back suddenly are hardly ever good for you. It's a slayer rule. For us they're usually bad guys. What about your people?"

"I ... Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I am. And I'm unhappy. Unhappy enough to become the evil the bad guys will have to fight. Especially if that vision about your boss trying to get Willow burned at the stake comes true." He smiled. "I'm not the nice fairy. I lost that for lent when they taught me what it was and since I decided that wasn't my thing I never picked it up again. Especially when it comes to my minis."

"You'd probably be safer back in Africa."

Xander laughed. "Yeah, I could lead those groups that hate me so much right to your base down there so they could have your people too. I'd have popcorn... we'd have a party...." He waved a hand, staring at him. "I may fall due to his plan, but I'll come back as an avatar. One they won't want to see either."

"Did you do something to make sure?"

"I'm owed it."

Coulson slumped, nodding. "A poker debt?"

"A life debt. I saved their asses."

"Understood." He looked at the bomb then at him. "I'll hand it to Stark personally."

"Thank you. Tell him I asked around, there's no more of his stuff locally as far as anyone knows."

"I will. Let me get this back to Stark." He pried the bomb off and walked it back to the SUV, getting in and driving off.

"What life debt was that, Xander?" Buffy demanded from the window.

He grinned up at her. "There's two of them that paid off their life debts by promising I'd be able to get justice on whoever had me killed." She shuddered. "I was a bit drunk when I asked but it was right after one of the battles I never told you about."

"Great," she muttered. "Can you not show the girls how to do that?"

"I never do. They can find their own ways."

She huffed. "I guess I'll have to accept that. So if it's a vamp you can come back to stake them?"

"Vampires can't turn me. One of the protections I took on after being possessed by a higher being." He grinned.

"Damn it." She pulled back in to call Giles.

Xander settled in his chair again, watching the gateway. Somewhere there was another one-eyed guy screaming 'fuck' as much as he was. It was sweet how balance worked that way.

***

Coulson steeled himself as he got onto the private elevator at Stark Industries in New York. This was going to get him beaten. He set the override on the elevator to take him to the lab floor. Best to get the screaming match out of the way and the weapon in safer hands. He walked off and right to the lab, putting the modified weapon in front of Stark. "He shot the computer."

"Pepper told me that." He stared at him. "Did they bring you back too?"

"Torture, brain wiping, memory implantation," he said blandly. "I was dead for a few days though. He should have told at least Natasha."

Stark looked at him. "I'm not getting between you two."

"She'd beat you too," he agreed, smiling slightly. "Harris is really pissed off that someone outed him as the seer at the Council. He thinks it was Fury."

"It was Fury. He was using him as bait."

"That's what Harris said and he also said he'd come back as an immortal avatar to get his revenge if they killed him or one of the minis."

Stark smirked. "From what his profile says, yup. It'll be a mess." He took his picture and sent it out to the group. "Have a happy life dodging the team."

"I have an urgent response team right now, Stark. And I need one looked at. Agent Grant Ward. Xander identified him as HYDRA."

"His name was on the list." He pulled that up to show him.

Coulson stared. "He said the one I trained with when I was about his age. I was younger."

"You probably looked older," Stark said dryly.

"Probably. I never did get carded at bars, even when I was a teenager." He nearly flinched when the lab's doors opened. He ducked the hit to his head, looking at the person standing there. "Natasha."

"We will be speaking," she warned.

"I didn't remember you or Clint until a few months later and he should have told at least you."

"He did not. I will pay him back for that later. You...we will talk after that."

He nodded. "Let us handle this HYDRA infestation first?"

"He may die then. Why wait for someone else to take that talk from me?"

He smiled at her. "Good point. Especially since he outed Harris as a seer. He's promised he's going to take your fun from you."

She tipped her head. "Xander can do that. I feel pity for that death. It will be...messy." She stared at the bomb then at Stark. "Yours?"

"Old. Remade. Different explosive." He looked at her. "Harris found it."

"On the hood of his car at the main Council house," Coulson said.

Natasha nodded. "He will kill everyone to keep those girls safe. I need to help him so the girls can be safer. Two warriors are better than one." She looked at Coulson. "We will speak once this infection is cleared up." She walked off, smiling when she heard Coulson scream in pain from the arrow now piercing his arm. "Clint was feeling merciful. Interesting. Must have had a nice date last night." She walked out the lab's door.

Stark wiped at the blood. "I didn't need biological samples, Legolas."

"Yay," Clint Barton called. He came down out of the ventilation system, staring at his former handler. "I need to get there before Natasha but I'll let her watch so I get more time for our talk."

"He should have told you," Coulson said, holding his arm.

Barton snorted. "Sure. He didn't though. You could've."

"I couldn't."

"Bullshit." He looked at the bomb then at Stark. "Let me go help guard the slayers. Someone's got to be a man to do it. Even if it's Natasha." He glared at Coulson. "We'll talk later. You rest, you look tired."

"Please don't kill Agent May for arranging this ruse," he warned quietly, staring at him. "She arranged it behind my back as well."

"Melinda and I will have our own talk, Coulson. She won't enjoy it but oh well." He walked off, calling her. "Melinda May," he said dryly. She groaned. "You're now going to help me guard the slayers since Fury gave out Harris as a staked sacrifice. No, I'll make sure you die before I kill Coulson for all this, but I'll be merciful if you don't die in battle. I'll be leaving in an hour." He hung up. Natasha joined him in the garage with their bags. "Agent May is going to be joining us, Nat."

She hummed. "She was one of his. That figured." They shared a look. Then they caught a cab to the airport.

Upstairs, Stark got a silent warning that Pepper was coming and got out of the way. He knew how evil Pepper could be. He didn't want to see this. It'd be worse than the time he had nearly married some wallet hunting bimbo while drunk in Vegas.

***

Buffy opened the door when she heard the gate alarm at it opening. She stared. "Neither of you were in Xander's visions."

"Good," Clint said with a smile. "I'd hate to be evil, Miss Summers. I'm Agent...."

"We know. The girls gushed over you guys after that battle." She stared at him. "Xander's napping so why are you guys here?"

"To help you and him protect all of you and us," Natasha said simply.

Buffy relaxed. "That's actually really nice to hear. Xander's in paranoid guy land again." She let them inside. "Xander, visitors."

He opened his good eye. "Neither one was in any of the visions except for Natasha helping the SHIELD rubble form by putting everything online." He closed his eye. "Can you guys watch the house and the security feed?" He pointed at that scene on the tv. "I've been listening but no one's doing more than tying up the hyper minis. As far as I can tell they're not mean, just assholes who hate squealing."

Clint looked. "You can tell them to stop it."

"I have."

Buffy sighed and called one. "Stop it. Untie my minis. Get over it. If the squealing is bothering you, you shouldn't have a hangover right now anyway! And if I have to come over there, I'm bringing Willow with me!" On the screen they untied all the minis and let them go. The older watchers went to hide somewhere else. Buffy hung up and smiled. "It's just a few of us to handle problems and Xander. They were really mean to try to make him asshole bait. He was already doing that for us." She walked off.

Xander pointed at the coffee table. "Lists?" They took it to look over and took over guarding the house for now. When the other agent got there, Xander got up to gather one of them to lock in a closet. "We don't need people like you here. Sorry, Ward, but your boss is a nazi cocksucker." He went back to his nap.

Natasha smiled slightly at Melinda May. "He was on the lists," she said quietly. May groaned, shaking her head. "He's there to control you and the heir apparent."

"Then I'm really happy I shot Coulson in the arm," Clint quipped with a grin for the other agent. May took a step back. "Let's guard the minis." Xander moaned and held his head. "Is that a vision?" he asked Natasha quietly. She nodded, going to help him. "That looks like it sucks."

"They do," Xander sighed, sitting up with help. He rubbed his eyes, looking at her. "That idea to put things online, you might want to start now so they find their own holes." She quirked an eyebrow up. "You put the *whole* database out there to expose the head guy that no one's arrested yet."

"Which head guy?"

"He looks like that movie star guy and he's got one of your trainers in cryo storage." He stared at her. "You can save him too." She stiffened, stepping back. Then she nodded once and moved to do that. He looked at Clint. "Warn the uptight one," he said quietly. "I had warned him that he'd see him again."

Clint winced and sent Steve a message. "Where?"

"DC. Some bank."

Natasha looked that up and sent her own message to Steve about where their former acquaintance was being stashed. That was evil. What she found within SHIELD's files was even worse. Then she did dump it right into a good network's computer system. She liked BBC news.

Xander laid back down, letting things go for now. This was outside his areas by a long shot. He handled emergencies and demons, not spies and nazis and assassins. Poor people, oh my.

***

In DC, a reporter was seeing new information waiting, including some flagged 'important' and 'classified'. He looked around then got into the files. He blinked. "Oh, my," he said quietly. "Bob!" he bellowed. "Huge problem with my computer system!" The others ignored it. There was plenty of story to go around but he'd get the primary scoop. Stories like this made careers. His editor came over to look, frowning at what he saw. "It was uploaded and there's more uploading right now." He looked at him.

"That's probably dangerous to have."

He highlighted one line. "Look at who is calling the shots." The editor shook his head. "We need to get this out there."

"We need to hand this to decent agents and cover the fallout," he corrected. "Do both but get it to someone to handle it first." He stepped back. "I'll have a few of the others helping you in case they think you're a target." He patted him on the back. "Good luck." He walked off.

The reporter pulled out his personal harddrive and downloaded what he wanted for now. He pointed at his friend. "Come watch this, copy and save down whatever you can. It's *dirty* and it's bad. We have whole agencies dirty." That one and another reporter from the foreign desk came to help with that. "Let me do as ordered and tell someone."

"Do a search for their name first," the foreign reporter said, looking at him. She smiled. "You can't be sure they're not involved and won't set off a panic."

"This is why they outed the guy at the Council as a seer," the other one said. "He has been warning them." They shared a look and he did find a good agent he could trust. He went to their agency in the most direct, safe way he could. He made it there and that agent was thankfully in. "Agent Sellers, I'm Ben Righ. I'm with BBC's local desk. We just got a data dump that states we've got dirty *agencies*." He held up his drive. "This is a horrible thing that I saw first."

"How bad?"

"The outing of that seer at the Council was a ruse to get bait." The agent winced. "And he warned them a few months back from what was recorded. This one is on an agency director being dirty. Embezzling, brain washing, mass murder...." The agent nodded, taking him to his desk to look at that information the reporter's own computer. Government computers might have tracking software.

"Oh, dear." He looked around then at him. "Is my boss involved?" he asked quietly.

He texted that back, getting a file sent to his email. He showed him. "Yes."

"I see one that's not." He got up and walked over there casually, nodding at that agent. "The reporter found something huge and I need help."

"You hate me."

"Yes I do but I can trust you this time. It's just that bad."

"Am I going to die?" he asked sarcastically.

"Quite possibly," the first agent, perfectly serious.

"Oh, okay." He came to look at it, frowning at what he saw. "Yeah, that's a good reason to come get me." He looked around then at his current partner. "How much more do you have?"

"The whole thing apparently. It's still downloading." He showed the file on visions. "They got warned a few months back by that same seer."

That got a nod once they had read it over. "Yeah, we're stopping that," the second agent said.

"Please. That's scary." Another file got sent to his email so he opened it after checking for viruses. Still had one but the information was even worse. They were laughing at them stopping the problem. The email said that then gave them something that they couldn't stop. He showed the agents.

The first agent nodded. "I doubt the source that time. But hey, we can find that." He looked at the other agent, who just nodded and went to grab his jacket. "Go be safe."

"A few of us are looking over it." He stood up, putting his computer back into his bag. "Let me sink this into a bank box." He left, putting the computer into his safety deposit box so anything in it wouldn't get near anyone else. When he got back there, the whole bureau was working on it and they had the virus as well. The other bureau's were getting shared with. Even if they killed all the reporters, this story wasn't going to die. A few were bloggers and were already putting that up online.

***

Buffy was watching the local news that night when a story came on, breaking into the weather, sending the lead reporters into a hair pulling hissy fit. "Um, Xander?" she called. "Oh, Xander!" He came in a minute later eating a sandwich. She took the sandwich and pointed at the tv.

He looked. "I knew they'd put a few locally. We're too big of a threat to their takeover plans." He looked at her. "Yeah, that's why I've been super paranoid." He walked off. "At least they found most of them. I'm betting they probably have a few who aren't on any open lists."

She shook her head, sighing as she finished the sandwich. The nice female agent walked in to watch. "Maybe he'll get some sleep now."

"Perhaps," Natasha said. "I wouldn't yet. There's bound to be a few not found."

"That's what he said."

Natasha smiled at her. "Those of us who live by our weapons tend to be paranoid the same way." She stood up. "Do you need to patrol tonight?"

"I probably should at least hit a few of the demon community places. Just to make sure they're staying calm and out of it."

"I'm sure a few of those in charge owe debts." She walked off. "They found the local ones who were on the lists."

Melinda nodded. "Is she going on patrol?"

"She said a few of the community's areas to make sure they're calm."

"We can go with her," Melinda said, putting the gun she was checking over back together and going to talk to Buffy. "I'll go with you to make sure you're safe."

Buffy smiled at her. "If they take me out, it just means I get to see my mom again. Being dead the last time wasn't so bad."

"How did you come back?"

"Willow. She pulled me out of heaven." She stood up. "Which started the First Evil." She shrugged. "I didn't ask." She walked off. "Let me get shoes."

"You can change. It's windy," Clint called.

"It's a good patrol outfit. I go out in this all the time. Don't turn into Xander about my clothes please."

Xander looked at him, shaking his head. "Wedge heels," he muttered. "Booty skirts. Skimpy, thin, braless shirts." Clint shook his head. "And she's very kick-oriented because she's a former cheerleader. The vampires *love* having their asses kicked some days." He finished their sandwiches and handed them over. "Let me go check the gate, just in case. The other three girls are due back in about an hour." They nodded so he went to sit guardian on the gate. He nodded when Buffy and May came out, mentally shaking his head at her outfit. "Buffster, you need to pull that down."

"It's fine, Xander."

"It's tucked into your panties."

She squeaked and pulled the skirt down. "Thanks."

"Welcome. Don't want the vamps to rip them off you prematurely this time." She scowled at him but he grinned back. "You know they try." She huffed and walked off.

"I can drive," Melinda offered when Buffy headed for a bus stop.

"That'd be cool. I can't. I'd hit the demons instead." They went back and got the car she had rented, going to the local community places. Buffy had to trace them on the bus route but Agent May didn't say anything about that. She walked in. The demons stared at her. She shrugged. "We don't know either. They outed Xander being a seer and stuff too." They groaned. "Xander had a vision that one of them wants to burn Willow at the stake to get people to hate witches again."

"The Knight said that's his fun," one of the demons shot back.

"Yup," Buffy agreed. "Can we keep it calm? They just outed the dirty agents to those same octopus guys."

"Octopus guys?" the bartender asked.

"The local pretty weather girl's station," Buffy said. "Their symbol is an octopus."

"Hydra were snake-beings," someone sighed. "How stupid."

"We think they merged the group. The name of one, the symbol of the other," Melinda said. "Like the pharaohs did when they took over both parts of Egypt."

Buffy frowned at her. "Wow, way brainy."

Melinda smiled. "Agents have to know many things."

"Glad I don't have to. I'm not booky or the brainy smurf of the Council. That's Andrew." The demons laughed but a few nodded. "What is his current evil plan to help save the girls?"

"You don't want to know about him and nanites, Slayer," the bartender sighed. He glanced at her then went back to watching the news. "That's really bad and probably why Harris is paranoid." Buffy nodded. "Great!" The demons groaned. "We'll keep it quiet and down for now, Slayer. We know you guys are protecting the tiny ones and not many of us want to piss you off when you're that stressed out. They'll wait until you get a rest day."

"Yeah, they usually do," she sighed. "Which means we have to take out the stress of needing a vacation on a beach with cute bikinis out on their corpses." She smiled. "Thanks for the calmness, guys." She walked out, Melinda following her. They went to the other two bars she got information in. The community leaders were meeting at one so she sat at the table and patted one on the arm. "They outed Xander as a seer to make him bait."

The local demon council stared at her. "We noticed him being paranoid."

"Yes, he is. A lot. We told them months ago. One of us even asked that Thor guy to see if he could ask some warriors to help protect the minis. Xander thinks some of his people are down here."

"Some banished ones and they would if asked," the head of the demon council agreed. "They have in the past when a slayer asked them for assistance." Buffy smiled. "We will get word to the ones near them to see if they would, slayer. Is there other news?"

"It's not just here."

"We saw," one said.

"No, as in Xander saw three agencies in rubble," Buffy said. "One of them being stopped from taking out thousands of people." They groaned. "SHIELD is apparently the most infected but he also saw a president involved."

One of the higher demons in the room looked over. "We will all be talking to those who owe us debts about their choices if they are among them," he assured her. "As two will be talking to your knight about the debts we owe him. That way you don't have to panic that he lost his soul."

"I think it broke somewhere in Africa. He didn't used to be that hard."

The demon nodded. "Yes, quite possibly. There were many battles you never heard about and neither did those agents who asked. Some who were infected."

Buffy nodded. "Can we ease it?"

"Combat changes one," Melinda said. "He's much more normal than I'd expect. I thought he was almost new to combat. He's very...happy in the middle of a situation."

Buffy nodded, looking up with her. "We all are because it's really dark at the end of the light's radius. It's easy to fall into the holes they have hidden in it. Too many of have nearly fallen in and a few have, but managed to build a ladder." She looked at the local demon council. "Anything I need to be aware of? This is my patrol for the night so I'm not somewhere that it's easy to jump me so I become a Buffy snack to humans."

They shook their heads. "We will step on the locals to make sure we are out of notice, Slayer," the head said. "It'd be easy for the humans to turn on us for being visible. We'd be just another irritating thing to take out and since they're already handling one...." He waved a flipper.

"I'd hope not. You guys are good. You're even better than the one in Sunnydale after the Mayor died." She stood up. "Let me know. Xander's paranoid again tonight." They nodded. "We just hope they got most of them."

"No, they didn't," the lead demon said with a smirk. "There's a whole other list. It will be delivered though."

"Anything on that old friend that Harris mentioned?" Melinda asked. "We know he's in cryo storage in a bank vault."

"He's in DC. It will be a huge, painful shock to a few people. The ones in DC are guarding him for right now to keep down the drama. They'll give him to the shiny one when that one wakes."

"Thank you." They left, going back to the house to report that. Natasha sent a message to Steve to ask the demons where he was.

***

The slayer house in London all flinched when someone pounded on the door. Kennedy went to answer it. "Yes, Officer?"

"We need to move you girls for your own safety," he said, stepping in. "With that trainwreck, they're going to try for you. We stopped a group coming this way."

She nodded. "We know. We're moving to our safety fall back later."

"They thought you were at the one across town, miss."

"Not that one." He nodded. She let him in to go to the living room to help them with the plans.

So when a group broke in, and the cop stood up to help capture them, they were all upset about it. Then someone busted in and kicked the pretend officers into gooey spots. One of the other girls stared at them. "Thank you, Warrior...."

"Kreth. I'm the grandfather of Sybil, ladies. Let us go somewhere safer."

"Thank you," Kennedy said.

He looked at her. "You can trust nearly no one, Slayer. Too many are dirty to that group for your safety. Thankfully, I brought one to prove my trust." He pointed at his granddaughter.

Sybil walked over one of the gooey spots, looking up at the bigger slayers. She was twelve. "Hi," she said with a wave and a grin. "Let's go somewhere safer. Granddad has a basement that's safe. You can even call Buffy and them."

One of the slayers smiled. "I asked Lord Thor to ask some of the warriors of Asgard stuck down here."

"He has but didn't know about me," Kreth said with a smile. "Lady Sif sent me a message. I adore that woman's boots and shield." Sybil hugged his arm. "Go warm up the car, dear." She ran to do that. "Let's go, ladies. You should have a bag packed?" They ran to get them, the house puppy and his stuff, and then the weapons. Kennedy took the longest because she didn't have a bag packed but the other girls came in to stuff her bags for her and drag her out. Kreth smiled at them. The other girls had sense. It was good to see.

***

Buffy looked at the agents. "What's a nanite and why is Andrew doing something with them? Will it help on patrol?"

"Nanites are tiny computers and they're used for many things," Melinda May said. She looked at Natasha.

"It won't help on patrol but it may help in this situation. I'll have to ask him about them," Natasha said.

"Andrew's a huge geek and formerly part of a trio of geeks that wanted to be Lex Luthor," Xander quipped. "One went psycho, the other one did a deal that made him the most interesting man in the world, and Andrew was working on his own ideas." He turned the page in his graphic novel. "And no, Buffy, they won't help on patrol." He grinned at her. "I'm pretty sure he was being helpful for this problem, not the usual ones." He went back to reading.

Clint nodded. "Wow. How did he do that?"

Xander shrugged. "Andrew is very strong in the power of Geek. His force is strong," Xander quipped. "Other geeks should bow down to him. Thankfully he wants to be a good guy now."

Natasha nodded. "I'll ask him when we run into him next time." She and Clint shared a look. He knew where he was so she could go visiting soon.

"If it's helpful, we don't care," Buffy decided. "It can't be worse than *someone* opening a pendant at the shop and summoning a demon who wanted to own him."

"Which actually wasn't me," Xander said dryly, smirking at her without looking. "I'm just a fantastic cover."

She stared at him. "Dawn did that?" she asked, sounding pissed off. He nodded once. "Why?"

"Shoplifting." He looked up at her. "You were so wrapped up in your coming back stuff time? All that?" She slumped, staring at him. "We had a *talk* after that." She huffed but nodded. "Aren't you glad she's not fourteen anymore?"

"Yes!"

"Andrew's trying to get her into engineering so she can be his protege. Every evil genius needs a protege that will some day do one better than them."

"Please don't tell the bad guys we fight that," Melinda complained. "They're bad enough as is."

"Most of ours have children or minions to take over," Natasha said.

"And sometimes ex-wives," Xander quipped with a grin. Natasha and Clint both stared at him. "One of my casual sex ex's has an ex-wife that took him out to take over. She said his alimony was late too many times so she went to the source so she could afford to send their spawn to a decent school before she sold him to a monk's convent."

Clint sighed, shaking his head. "I heard about that takeover. They say she's really evil to his minions."

"They all thought she'd be the slutty sort and she hates sex," Xander said. "She proved to them that she's not that sort of evil overlordess."

"Did she try to date you too?" Buffy quipped.

Xander looked at her. "Why would I date someone who hated sex? I have enough stamina after Anya that it takes at least two a night, Buffy, if not more. Someone who hated sex would drive me to evil." He grinned. "You want to talk about the triplets I dated in Guyana?"

"No!" She glared at him. "Can't you date normal things?"

"Should we start the conversation of yours versus mine?" he shot back. "At least all of mine were human."

"Anya...."

"Turned back to a human when she got fired."

"Point." She grimaced. "Mine are helpful."

"Until someone stakes them and yes, I will." He grinned. She glared. He went back to reading. "You should try to date agents. They're dangerous enough for you and human. A living guy has to be more creative since he doesn't have a rotting brain with a demon cooing in it."

She kicked him under the table. "Don't tell people that!"

"You started it," he said, rubbing the sore spot. "If you break my leg, you go find me a healing spell." She sighed but went back to her magazine. He grinned at Clint. "We started as a team when we were teenagers."

"It shows," he agreed.

"It's why I went to Africa for so long." He got back to reading until the oven dinged. Then he got up to pull out the casserole. "Off Andrew's recipe." He handed Buffy her own baking dish and let the rest of them split the bigger pan. "Thankfully the other slayers are safe somewhere else. Five of you would mean I'd have to build three of these for just you guys."

Buffy shrugged. "We do a lot and need a lot of energy, Xander. You know that."

He nodded. "I remember helping butcher a cow so my slayer could eat for two days."

"Only two days?" Clint asked.

Xander nodded. "I got two steaks and a tiny bit of jerky made for later needs. She ate the whole cow in two days." Natasha shook her head. "She's eight."

"I eat about six thousand calories a day and could really use at least another thousand most of the time," Buffy said. "We work it off. Our metabolism is really high."

"Steve does the same thing," Natasha said. "Probably for the same reason." Clint nodded, digging into his dinner.

"Who?" Buffy asked.

"Captain America," Xander said. "The guy with the tight kevlar pants that you drooled over."

"Oh, him. Hotass." She nodded and went back to eating. "We need more slayer pinups like that and you, Agent Barton." She grinned at him. "It's good when we have people to look up to. Guys get drooled on and women who can kick butt like we do are like saints."

"I am no saint," Natasha said. "But a good enough role model." Buffy grinned at her. "Clint is a fairly good one most of the time."

"Yeah, but he's a guy and guys are meant to be drooled on." Xander snorted. "Or to be our normal guy backup who sees sensible things that we like to ignore." Xander stared at her for a moment then shook his head. "You are."

"Don't. Start," he warned. Then he stuffed his mouth.

"Sorry." She dug in again. She looked at Clint. "Willow went looking for the girls and found those pictures for that spank magazine when you were nineteen. The girls were really happy." He moaned and choked a bit, shaking his head. Natasha patted him on the head. "The girls were really happy that he uses weapons we like and he's hot." She dug back in.

Xander looked at him. "Most of the girls are too vanilla to do more than look and drool. They mostly won't pinch." He shook his head and went back to his own dinner.

"Do you hold talks like this usually?" Melinda asked.

Xander looked up at her. "She pulled out company manners for you." He went back to eating. Buffy kicked him on the same sore spot so he kicked her back and he was wearing his combat boots. It made her scream and hold her leg. "I told you to stop it." He stared at her. "It didn't hurt you that badly."

"Ow, Xander!"

"You nearly broke mine," he shot back, staring at her. "You're fine."

"You're mean to me."

"Yeah. I remember when you had back zits you used to talk me into popping for you." She grimaced, shuddering. "I didn't even bruise you. Drama princess."

"Whatever." She rubbed the spot then pouted through the rest of dinner. "Sparring?" He pointed at Natasha. She smiled at her. "Sparring?"

"I could use the time to judge how you are trained. I've sparred with Xander and got cut twice."

Clint blinked at Xander. "You cut her?"

"I do best with weapons so I snuck my knuckle knife into it." He grinned. "It worked and made my next date very hot. It meant a good weekend off with sex in a real hotel that had running water and room service instead of in my tent."

Clint nodded, looking at Natasha. "He is not the best, but he is creative and suitable. I was not trying too hard but he could reasonably do as well as most level three agents with advanced training."

Clint nodded. "Better than half of SHIELD then. Good." He finished up and moved to do dishes for the poor guy. Buffy treated Xander like a houseboy half the time. Maybe there was someone for Xander to look up to so he could break that problem of hers.

***

In DC the next morning, demons were holding a peaceful protest that they were not behind all these problems. Most of the evil ones didn't owe part of their souls, most of them were against demons. The 'demons do not support nazis' protest was a lighthearted point of the day of things getting worse. The news outlets were going nuts about it but the ones that came to the house, Xander agreed with. Most of them probably hadn't made demonic soul deals. They were being jackasses to humanity on their own.

He added that he hoped that the demons were being left alone because they were being peaceful and pointing out that blaming everything on them was wrong. The reporter agreed that might be a good idea. Then Xander dropped the bombshell. "No, we know some of who made deals. It's fairly obvious thanks to some's tattoos. There's only so many ways to hide mystical markings, even if you've got full sleeves." He pointed at one on his forearm. "That one's a protection one."

The reporter looked then at him. "It glows."

"It's your sunglasses." He smiled at the cameraman, letting him see it.

"It glows red."

"You guys use the filter that catches vampires."

The reporter smiled at her cameraman. "We do. I forgot about that." She smiled at Xander. "How are you handling being outed as a seer?"

"I hate it. So far there's been no one who's shown up to decry me, kill me, or want me to pull one out of my ear. It's making me fairly paranoid though." He grinned. "I really would like you guys to forget that part. Before they decide I'm the early warning system before an apocalypse battle...." He nodded, urging her to get it.

"Oh!" She grimaced but nodded. "I forgot that those happen." He nodded. "And that would make you a huge target."

"Yes, it did. And the guy who did it I owe a few punches to. I should have someone enslave him as my bodyguard until we both die."

"That would suck," the reporter said.

"I doubt they'd get him," Clint called from the doorway. "Don't give anyone ideas please, Xander. We've got enough problems as is. Someone tried to kill him earlier."

Xander looked back. "Me first." He looked at the reporter again, smiling. "They showed up to help us protect the girls because we're in the way of the takeover plans. We'd be like a wall of 'get the hell out of my face' to them. Like we usually are to you guys." He walked off. "Have fun."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris. It was nice not to be threatened with a gun this time." She and her cameraman went back to the station to run that report. Xander had been nicely calm and pleasant to talk to today. Which meant he had expected them and they were being used to get information out, but they could agree with that this time.

Clint looked at him. "He'd hate that."

Xander grinned. "I can ask Andrew to make me some nanites."

"I'm sure you could." He let Xander into the house, smiling at his back. The guy had wacky ideas. Though Natasha said that they often worked well, and even Buffy had praised one of his wacky ideas.

***

An agent walked up to Xander's position a few days later. "They said they weren't going to come near the girls."

"And yet, HYDRA tried to take out the Council during World War II," Xander said dryly, staring at him. "I *so* believe that they'd leave people who were a wall to hide behind capable of dealing with things."

"They said they'd have taken in the girls so they could still fulfill their destinies, they'd just train them better."

Xander stood up, strolling over. "I'm fairly certain that won't ever work. It didn't work real well when the Council tried it and that was their whole purpose. Also, the slayers aren't supposed to be taking *human* lives. Your idiot in charge? Not exactly human." He stared then grinned. "Though I'm fairly certain I know why."

"Are you?" the agent shot back.

"Just been possessed."

"I heard about sea creatures."

"Detoxed when I went to see why the swim team was turning into people-nibbling creatures." He looked amused. "Though it's nice you guys got into the bloodwork Fury ran without my consent. That's another thing I get to pay him back for." He walked off. "You have fun with your delusions."

"We don't need you around the slayers," he said, pulling a gun. He shot at Xander but a demon showed up to eat him.

Xander looked back and shrugged. "Thanks, Herbert."

"We do not want to see what you would be like as an Avatar of Justice."

"I'd be a great avatar of kicking ass."

Herbert the demon nodded. "Which is what we fear, Knight. The warriors of Asgard that were not banished have gathered the girls to a safer location. Then they told their prince's girlfriend." Xander smiled. "He thought there were only banished."

"Some went on a quest of some sort and ended up down here. One my ex Anya cursed." He smiled. "I should go tell him that so he can petition the one who took over her job."

Herbert shook his head with a sigh. "You need rest, Knight. Your mind goes weird. Go inside, let the pretty agents handle this for you. That one with the bow is one that many of us can admire for his weapons skills."

Clint walked out, staring at him. "Really?"

The demon smiled and nodded. "It is not many who are brave enough to bring an ancient weapon like a bow to a fight that should take artillery. We like watching the Knight because he does much the same with the slayers, no matter how often they nag." He disappeared, looking more pleased.

Xander shrugged. "I have a battle axe I favor."

Clint nodded. "That's even weirder than a bow."

"Could be but very handy at times," Xander said.

"May can sit on the doorway. You go nap before more like that show up." Xander grinned but went to do that. Melinda walked around Clint to take Xander's watching seat.

Natasha patted Clint on the shoulder, smiling at him. "I found the shrine to us. Yours is very pretty. The girls put pretty pictures up of you. Mostly with your weapons. Mine sits with Lady Sif's and to a few other warrior goddesses."

"You are that great," he said.

She poked him gently on the bicep. "They appreciate you the same way. Just also carnally." She walked off to check on Xander and Buffy. Those two needed to sleep more so their minds straightened out. Though they were getting a good read on how the Council worked. She had decided they needed more people and since there were going to be some decent agents looking for work perhaps she'd talk some of them up to Buffy so they could help do some of Xander's job. She settled in to make a list so she could mark off any that died during this ...problem.

***

Steve Rogers walked up to the demon bar in DC, smiling at the bouncer. "Is the guy in charge in tonight? I was told he might be so I could ask him a question."

The bouncer squinted at him. "Your hair is too shiny. It glows." Steve ducked his head some. "He's not in yet. He's nocturnal and won't be awake for another two hours, and I heard some of his minions will be earning their final rest tonight for being annoying little toys. I can have him call you."

"Xander Harris said I should come talk to him here. Is there a better place to catch him?" He shifted some to let another demon with plastic hair into the bar. "He's protecting someone I'd love to see again."

The bouncer nodded. "That one I know of. He's with the healers. Usually ranting at the healers because he doesn't understand." He leaned inside. "The one with the shiny hair and the tight uniform that makes the slayers drool is here for his friend if he could be shown to him."

"He's on Cresida with those healers," someone called back. "Michael's going to be busy tonight and that one's not ready to see people anyway." He came out to stare at him. "What did you use in your hair?"

"I can't find the right kind of hair grease."

"Ah." He nodded. "Go look in the ethnic hair markets. They sell some there."

"Thank you, I can try that. Can I go see him?"

"He doesn't remember anything."

"He knew me for most of his life before I thought he died. Maybe I can help?"

"I'll have one of the younger vampires do you that favor."

"Thank you," Steve said. "All I want is him to be better."

"I think the Knight wanted that too. He was worried that one would be a problem for the slayers in the future for some reason."

"There were plans to take out the slayers," Steve told him. "Mostly to capture the girls so they could reprogram them into their control and use. They had some sort of deep hatred for Buffy, Willow, and Xander though."

"Many feel that way about the Red Witch," the demon said dryly. He looked behind Steve at the brunette walking up behind him. "They let you out without guardians?"

She snorted and flapped a hand at him. "Dawn hasn't had bodyguards in *years*. The local slayer's way too busy to play stepmommy to me like Buffy wants. That's why I get the better boyfriends and a life that doesn't come with worrying about my sister coming home dead some morning." She smiled at Steve. "Cresida?" The bartender nodded. "I'll take him down there. It's on my way home and most of them aren't going to come near me."

"They could. You're probably a target too, Miss," Steve said. "Your picture was one of the ones that the helicarrier plan had up."

She smiled. "My death will open *huge* portals. They don't want that so therefore they won't. It's why my sister freaks about sex stuff. She's worried I'll have an oops. Let's go. I can summon a cab with the best of them."

"I have my bike," Steve offered.

Dawn grinned. "Never ridden but sure. It's only about four miles."

He nodded. "Thank you both."

"You're welcome," the bartender said, watching them walk off. He looked at the bouncer. "Dawn has gotten much more dangerous, especially since she stole her sister's leather pants."

"She looks good in them. Better than her sister did." They admired the view as she got onto the back of the motorcycle and they sped off. "Maybe it will help."

"Maybe," the bartender agreed, going inside.

***

Dawn got off the bike. "Sorry I nearly tipped us over. Like I said, first time on one."

"Everyone has a first time for everything," he said with a smile. It was a bit forced but she seemed nice enough.

"Yeah, but they should all be that happy making as Faith calls it." She took his arm and led him inside. "Healer?" she called. The nurses looked out. "Let him try?"

"He is not ready yet. He knows no one."

"He may remember something about me," Steve said. "We knew each other for years. Please?"

"It may trigger him. We think he was made to kill you."

"I can fight him off if I have to. Please let me try?" She sighed but let them back there. Dawn waited in the hallway. Steve moved closer to the bed, pushing some of the hair off the pale forehead. "How did they do this to him?"

"They played with his mind with ice and chemicals." He looked up at her. "We unfroze him to heal him. They were already starting the process and had foul equipment there to destroy his mind. They took all that he was and made it no more."

"Is it in there somewhere?"

"We hope so. The ones who can read memories are pretty sure they can bring it back." They both looked toward the hall at the sound of crying but they heard Dawn move to help them. "She is a good girl but a bit wild yet."

"I have no idea about who she is outside of with the Council."

The healer smiled, crossing her arms so her hands went up her sleeves. "That is the Slayer Buffy's sister, Captain. She is here so she does not have to live with the worry and deal with the other slayers that don't like her for not being one of them. Some of the girls can be petty because they are young, untried, and stupid."

"We were all thirteen once," Dawn said as she walked in carrying a baby. "Someone attacked one of the nurseries." The healer winced. "They managed to save almost everyone but they think it's a 'come play with us' sort of message to draw the local slayers out." She patted the orange baby on the back. "You're a good egg, sweetheart. A very good egg." She frowned, looking around. "They're coming here." She handed Steve the baby and went to stand outside. Two SUV's showed up and she shook her head. "This is a healer's clinic, it is under Council protection," she said firmly.

"We don't care," one of the agents said.

"I do," she said and threw something from her bra onto them. She looked at the others who now had guns. "Pity for you too." They shrieked as they got taken. She smiled. "Hi, Spike's kids. How's your daddy?"

"He said to remind you your name's not Xander and you're not bait," one said, scowling at her. "Go back inside! Now! Let us handle them."

"They went after a nursery to draw people out."

"That makes them a great meal," another quipped with a smile. "Go inside, Dawn, before we have to fix that tragic mistake that is your hair." She huffed but went inside to help with the kids that had been evacuated to there. The vampires cleaned up the mess and didn't make new minions. You couldn't trust these to follow orders and they didn't have the time to train them right now.

Steve looked at Dawn. "They ate them?"

"Probably. Spike sent 'em." She shrugged. "They attacked little babies for being demons. Then again, one attacked a hospital earlier trying to get your attention." She stared at him. "They're not going to like the attention they get. They've pissed Spike off, and he's not the nicest Master Vampire and former Scourge of Europe." She grinned. "But he was a kick-ass babysitter when I was a young teen." She walked around him. "Hey, Doc, can I help with anything?" she called. "Potions? Asking Spike to find something? Telling Xander they tried this?"

"The Knight will hear, he usually does," the healer said.

The nurse smiled. "We could use some potions made, Dawn. Can you?" She nodded, going to do that while Steve went to help his friend. Bucky woke up and blinked at him. The nurse smiled at him over Steve's shoulder. "He asked to see you. Would you like something to drink? You really do have to stay hydrated." The man on the bed nodded so she got him some broth for Steve to feed him. They'd monitor it but let Steve angst. The angst eating demons in the billing department needed fed anyway.

***
Part 4 by Voracity2
In DC the next afternoon, someone looked up then screamed as his skull split thanks to the battle axe that came down through it. Xander landed behind him, shaking his head. "I don't think you're playing nicely and I don't like what you did." He got the other two coming with acid shot bullets, making them scream as the acid ate through their necks. It was unprotected by body armor. Xander ducked and shot the one trying to get him from behind. That guy's face may never recover.

"Oh, hey, I recognize you from one of the visions. You're one of that Captain Guy's backup team. Wow, were they trying to train you better, Rumsy or whatever he called you?" He walked over them and whistled as he went inside the building. "Move! Council business, people." The agents stared and slowly got out of the way. He nodded at one of the agents. "Not here for something you probably heard about. Someone decided to try to kill a nursery and kids hospital that we protect." He walked into the meeting room.

Someone shouted and moved away from him but Xander got the ones he wanted. "Never, ever, touch what the girls protect. They're awfully proud of how that hospital for baby demons is run and how much good work they get out of fussing over them." He sneered at the bodies. "You never, ever, touch what the girls protect. They can't take a life but I've seen worse than you." He looked at the ones that tried to run from him. "If I was here for you, you'd already have heard.

"And yeah," he said, staring at one. "I'd confess before someone finds that file where you tried to start the Initiative project in Asia." He walked off, axe on his shoulder. He went to the clinic and helped the clean up, smiling at the nurses. "It won't happen again. Dawn was pouting very hard and thinking about trying magic to stop them." He grinned. "I took a proactive approach to stop that bad idea in the making."

"She has power but that would probably create an apocalypse worse than the Red Witch's few ones," the nurse said quietly, glancing around.

"Willow's trying to stalk Kennedy and talk to her about why she's become such a problem bitch. Kennedy knew for a few months and didn't warn London at all." The nurses hissed and a few winced. "Oh, yes. Much. Thankfully I nagged and one of the others did."

The nurses shook their heads but let him finish the cleaning up so they could get their patients back.

***

Dawn smiled at the agents there to harass her. "Hi, guys. Sweet day isn't it?"

"Miss Summers, we need to talk."

Dawn tipped open her hand, letting the potion in it flow out around her. "Sure, we can talk."

"What's that?"

"A potion of protection."

"Will it really help you against us?" the other agent asked.

"Yup."

One pulled a gun to shoot at her and the foam coming up from the portal ate it. "Oh."

She smiled. Dawn laughed a tiny bit. "Yeah, oh." She waved at the cops speeding up. "Guys, I'm Council related. These ones want to kill me."

"Miss, come out of that circle," the officer there first demanded.

She stared at him. "No fucking way in hell when they're trying to kill me for my sister being a slayer." The officer winced. "They're some of the bad ones, yeah." She waved a hand and the bullet's remains dropped. "I'm having a bit of I'll be damned here, Officer."

"Miss, if they want to arrest you they can," the officer said.

"They don't want to arrest me. They want to assassinate me. If they actually meant me no harm they could cross the protections."

"We can wait," the first agent said. "It'll run out."

Dawn smiled back. "If you kill me, I've got it arranged to come back as an avatar of 'oh damn' as others put it. Which means I'll be taking out every single one involved, all the way back to the head guys who ordered it."

"You're not that important. They wouldn't have cared about you outside of your sister," the first agent said then smiled. "You're just a pawn."

She smiled her most beautiful smile. "You have no idea who I really am. You just proved that. Because I'm the starting off of an apocalypse if you kill me." The agents stepped back. "As in literal hell is coming to pay." The protection circle faded into smoke. She stepped out toward the officer. "If they had a *warrant* to arrest me, shouldn't they have done that instead of shooting at me?"

"Yes," he said, staring at her. "I will arrest you for doing magic."

"I didn't. I spilled a potion." One of the other officers tried to shoot at her. It got stopped. "That was magic but it's not mine." She held up her pendant with a grin. "Willow made it for me. She thinks I'm always in danger and people want to keep kidnaping me like they did when I was fourteen." She shrugged and let her pendant go. Xander walked over, axe in hand. "Hi, Xander." She hugged him, kissing him on the cheek. She put the pendant over his head.

He handed it back. "You need it more than me. If I get killed here, so be it and I'll make an excellent avatar of justice." The agents shook their heads, moving back. Xander smirked at him. "Hi."

"Is that blood, sir?" one of the other officers asked.

Xander nodded, smiling at him. "These two and a few others led an attack on a nursery last night to draw me into the open. So now I'm here and they're mostly sorry except for these two and one in hiding." He held up a paper. "Someone made me a list." The officer shuddered.

Dawn took the list to look at, nodding. "Three names." She handed it back and then looked up. "Fuck this shit." She walked off, cutting her palm. "You vowed on your virgin blood to protect me and mine," she said, looking up. "I'm calling in the marker. Fuck. This. Shit." A thunderclap went off and a being in chains appeared. She stared at him. "You vowed to protect my cute ass once."

He stared at her then his mouth opened and he sucked in a breath. "I have," he admitted in a growl.

She walked over to stare at him. "Will you take me to my sister's burdens?"

"Yes. If you could unhook me?"

Xander looked. "Why don't I trust this any?" he asked dryly, staring at Dawn. "Really? You had to go there already, Dawn?"

She pointed behind her. "I felt something huger appear. I don't want to be here when it gets here." She smiled. "Let me pick those locks." She touched a finger to the locks and they fell apart into dust. So did the rest of the chains. He smirked and his clothes changed. "Now, let's go. Officers, you're going to want to move. Now." She pointed behind them again. "It's coming and it's not happy."

Xander looked. "Now, people. Move!" He shot both of the agents in the ankle. "You two can pay for trying to kill Dawnie by helping." He looked at the officers. "Now. Right now." They saw the demon and scrambled off.

"Toodles, dear," Dawn quipped. "Let's go." Loki took her off. "Thank you."

"Thank you for freeing me."

She smirked. "Willow needs some advice. I figured you're a great one to give it."

"The redheaded one?" he demanded.

"Yup, her. That's where we're going."

"She's obvious."

"And in a pissing match with a few Asgardian warriors who're guarding the slayers."

Loki groaned. "Wondrous."

"At least your brother isn't there yet."

"Can you open a portal?"

"I cannot use any of that thing's gifts. It's all locked up." She smiled. "The monks made sure of it."

Loki looked at the demon then nodded. "That's truly pleasant of them." He created a portal and got them to where the massive spike of power he could feel was.

Dawn smiled and pointed. "Huge ass demon but I didn't want to deal with Perry today. Sorry to barge in. Willow, he can give you some advice you need. Can you?" She huffed but took him off. The portal snapped closed.

"Kreth, this is Dawn," one of the slayers said.

"Dawn," the head warrior said.

Dawn smiled and shook his hand. "I was in safety in DC but then Perry showed up and he kinda owns some realms and really thinks I'm cute. Which I am, but not that way." She shook her head. "But Xander was there." The slayers all moaned. She smiled. "With his axe. The HYDRA idiots attacked a nursery." They stared. She nodded. "Yeah. Including the two agents who just tried to take me out. So I called for some help." She waved a hand at Loki. "Because he once vowed to protect me."

"Huh?" one of the younger slayers asked.

"Senior Council only secret!" Willow yelled.

"What she said," Dawn admitted with a smile for that one, giving her a hug. "I'll disappear later. That way they can't find me here. There's ones who'd *love* to own me. Including a few aliens." She shrugged and looked at Kreth. "I will not bring problems to your door," she said simply.

"Thank you...Dawn." He stared at her. She shrugged. "I was once an artificer."

She smiled. "That's a neat thing. I seem to like healing. I don't do it real well yet but I seem to like it." Kreth shook his head as he walked off but he was smiling. "Okay, ladies, let's settle in and take stock of what we need that I can go nag people into."

"We really don't need the help, Dawn," Kennedy said. "You'd just bring more trouble here when they come looking for you. Because I do know."

Dawn smiled at her. "Let me shoot you then so I'm safer." Kennedy stepped back, looking scared. "Willow's in deep for telling you."

"I read Tara's journal."

Willow stomped out to scream at her for that. Loki followed, blocking the magic from coming out to smite the county they were in. He looked at Kreth, nodding slightly. "I did make such a vow to one who taught me."

Kreth nodded. "I realize why. We need Thor to come here. His girlfriend is having panicking moments thanks to the matter that possessed her once."

Loki went to look at that infection for him. It calmed back down when Dawn came over and flowed out of Jane and into her. "Oh, great, I need more," she said. "Sure, hi, Aether." She waved at her stomach. "Just don't do the cheesy thing and make me pregnant." She looked at Jane. "So, where is your tall, buff, and blond thing?"

"London. Protecting the artifact vault."

"Cool. That's my future job I think." She grinned. "Be there soon." She walked off. "Let me go talk to Thor. Loki, can you help Willow or would you like to travel with me?"

"I think I'll travel to protect you as I vowed. She's a future problem."

Dawn nodded, looking at Willow. "Some day you'll be seen like his brother sees him. Xander kinda does." Willow glared. She stared back. "Really."

"Whatever. Go." She waved a hand and they were in London.

"Handy," Dawn said with a hum. "Loki, you should probably draw less attention since it's not All Saints and no one else is in costume." He let it fade to a suit and tie look. "Thanks." She frowned. "Artifacts?" she muttered, tapping a finger against her chin. "That way." She walked off, going to the Tube. He followed, taking care of the few pickpockets that tried her. They made it to the bank that held the vault and it was late but she held up her Council ID to the guard, who let her in. She waved the ID card, nodding at Giles when they ran into him. "He's protecting me. Perry showed up in DC."

"Oh, dear Janus," Giles complained.

Dawn grinned. "It was a wacky Xander plan but he got to talk to Willow too. Thor's girlfriend wants him back. Can we switch places?"

"Yes. You'd be wonderful handling this area, Dawn. We did teach you to handle artifacts."

"And there's a few potions books I really wanted into. Plus, hey, the aliens that tried to talk me into going with him won't be here."

"Alien?" Giles demanded, putting his glasses onto the desk hard enough to bend them. "What aliens, Dawn!"

She shrugged. "He was blue! That's all I know." She waved a hand. "He had bad teeth, he was blue, and he had a tiny ship that he parked in the Potomac. He said I was important to some weapon thing and he wanted to let me see it first." She stared at him. "I tried to call but got Buffy. You know what she'd do if I had told her. I started to tell Xander and then the HYDRA imbeciles attacked a nursery to draw Xander and others out. Which, they did get Xander. He's talking to Perry." She grinned. Giles stared, mouth open. "No clue beyond that."

"Blue aliens bring it down to three species," Loki said casually. Dawn stared at him with a smile. "One's neutral against humans, the other is a conquering race, the third mostly dead the last time I heard."

"Huh. Cool. Any idea which one it was from the bad teeth?"

"That's probably a personal issue," he said. "Not a species trait." Giles stared at him. He changed back with a smirk. "I once made a vow to guard her essence."

"That figures," Giles said dryly. "Your brother's downstairs."

"Let me go get him. You two figure the thing out." She walked off. The two watchers in the way just stared at her. "Move, guys. Don't make me prove Xander put me into defense classes against Buffy's will." They sneered. She knocked them both out then walked over their bodies. When she got to the vault, Thor was in full battle mode. "Chill, Shiny." He stared at her. "I'm Dawn, Buffy's sister. Your girlfriend is freaking out because the Aether showed it had tainted her."

Thor blinked at her. "What are you?" he demanded.

"Buffy's sister." She smiled. "Presently." She stepped forward. "So, Jane? Panicking?" He sighed and called her. She looked at the artifacts and sighed, going to unstack a few things. "Whoever put these two together are idiots," she yelled. "They're ancient enemies! Do we want them to leak and destroy the city!"

Giles walked in and sighed. "Oh, dear. The old ones are thankfully gone." He came in to help her. "I have no idea who did this."

"I'm just hoping they're dead," Dawn said. "Sorry to be so crude if you knew them, but we don't need this sort causing more problems that Xander will have to solve."

Xander appeared with Perry the demon, who was injured, but the demon left after a scowl from Thor. "You rang?" he asked, holding his arm.

"Injured, Xander?" Giles asked, moving to help her with him.

"Axe?" she asked. He lifted the handle. "The head?" It was on his back. "That'll work. We can fix it." She hugged him. "Let me do a healing potion." She found a potion book and went to create it in the workshop area they had always set up for emergencies. One thing was missing but she sighed and sent a message to Willow, who sent it at her. She brought it out to Xander, handing it to him. "By the way, Giles, I get to take out Kennedy. She read Tara's journal and *knows*."

"Knows what?" he asked. She gave him a pointed look. He stared. "She *knows*?"

"Tara's journal." She smiled. "I had Loki talking to Willow too. She's like a scary version of him for us."

"My brother?" Thor demanded, staring at her. "Who are you?"

"Buffy's sister Dawn." She looked at him. "At one point in time Loki vowed on his virgin blood to protect me, Thor."

"Why would he do such?"

Loki strolled in, pausing to hiss in his ear. "You missed that lesson from Mother, Brother." He looked at her. "There's those sort here too. They may be coming."

"Tracking me or her?" Xander asked. He smiled at Loki's staring. "What?"

"You're...here?" he asked with a hand wave. "With your blood?"

Xander nodded. "They told me about that last year. I promised to help Buffy after they took my potential soulmate." Loki moaned. "I haven't finished this war against them yet."

Loki nodded. "Charming of you. A bit bad though."

"The ones who told me about it said that. I told them this is a higher calling and I'd go ask to be a living avatar first." Loki shuddered. "I've been to a few temples where I could apply." He grinned at Dawn. "One would love you."

"I'm already a goddess to some, Xander. Why do I want to lower myself to be the avatar of another?"

"Point. That's why I haven't yet. I'm keeping it for a last ditch effort."

"You two both need to rest because we'd have to take you out for that," Giles warned.

Xander grinned, hugging him. "Janus offered too." He walked off to move a few artifacts. "I had these sent up so they could be separated, guys. They were trying to destroy parts of sub-Saharan Africa." The other watchers huffed but came to help him move the statues.

Thor looked at his brother. "What is your part in this?"

"I vowed my protection on the young chit," he said with a point. He rolled his eyes. "I'm not sure if that was a wise decision or not yet."

She smiled at him. "It was very wise. Just think of what chaos I'm preventing right now."

Xander winced and held his head. "Including one that's finding Thor's hidden way home and going to go visiting." He sighed. "Who's the warrior guarding the slayers?"

"Kreth," Giles said.

Thor stiffened. "I know of him. He went on a quest of grief."

"His granddaughter is one of the young slayers," Xander said, straightening up. He stared at him. "He could use the backup. They're going to attack there with some cosmic something or other that looks like a raygun but fires from a stone."

"That's interesting," Loki said. "Another cosmic cube."

Thor looked at him then at Dawn then back at him. "The binder?"

"No, I'm the originating source," she said dryly, smiling at him. "But thanks for asking."

Thor stared, mouth open. Loki groaned, shaking his head. "I did not realize that," Loki admitted, looking at Thor. "That means more protecting."

"No, I'm pretty good at it," Dawn said with a smile. "And only us here know." She looked at the two staring watchers. "You will not mention this or your life is forfeit. I'll have Willow sacrifice you."

Xander shook his head. "I can do that. Not a problem. I know a few who'd *adore* them." They shook their heads quickly. Xander grinned. "So we're all protecting Dawn, right?" They nodded quickly. "Good! And don't tell Willow either! She'll have a fit. Her and Buffy both."

"No, it's our secret to our grave," one said.

"If you wish to be an avatar, have you seen the temple to Athena?" the other asked.

"She hates me. I'm a guy," Xander said dryly. "She's supposedly over the slayers. I asked one of her priestesses for help. Snotty whore syndrome did commence. She even expected me to pay her for it."

"Oh," that watcher said, nodding. "That figures."

Xander nodded. "I get along better with the Amazons I met." He grinned. "They were really nice and really helpful for that one battle. They didn't even mind that I'm infertile."

Giles stared at him. "I heard nothing about amazons, Xander," he said impatiently.

Xander smiled. "Hell no you didn't. Because I wasn't going to listen to the bitching I'd get from Willow when she answered the emails for you." He looked at his healing injuries then up. "I'm getting that 'come save us' feeling. Anyone else?" Dawn nodded with a grimace. "Okay." He looked at his axe. Then around, picking up a newer generation axe that had a tag stating it was imbued with evil. "That'll work. Evil can fight evil this time." He looked at Loki. "Dawn. Stays. With. You."

"I have agreed to my protection, boy."

"Good," Xander quipped. "Giles?"

"Go. Handle it. It does seem to be your thing as you young ones say."

"Cool. Liberate me some of the weapons?" The calling was getting stronger. The watchers gave him a lot of weapons and they sent him to Willow, who shrieked because she was on a stake. Again. "Wow, redo to Hansel and Gretel demons." He smiled at the staring people. "No, not today. We need her. Sorry." They tried to attack him. "Fuck you too." He picked up things and fired back. Then he dove in with the local demons who had come to help the girls. "People, free the girls," he ordered. "That is your only concern! Free all the slayers and get them to safety."

"Yes, Knight," a few called.

One looked. "Can we eat the annoying ones?"

"No," Xander called, using his axe on one of the humans. "You can't eat Kennedy yet."

"Fine."

Xander shook his head. "I have to work with Kennedy sometimes. Even though she's a royal cunt."

"Watch your language around the minis, Xander!" Willow yelled from her pole. She was trying to get free.

Thor landed and waded into the fray, taking out the humans. Loki and Dawn showed up. Dawn went to free the minis she could. Loki looked at Willow. "You look good up there." He smiled and freed the others.

Willow's growl was real loud and he watched as her hair bleached and her skin grew black veins. "Oh, so that's why they compared us." He tried to knock her out. No go. "Well that's interesting."

Xander glared at him. "Willow, no smiting Loki. He's protecting Dawn. Use it on the other bad guys!" He glared at Loki. "My parents were worse than yours and I still managed not to become a serial killer. Can't you pretend for a day or so?" He got back to the battle, ignoring the glaring going on. He cut another one then backswung to behead that guy. He spun to get the guy that had just shot at him, throwing the axe at him. Into the shoulder. Xander pulled his usual sword to use instead.

"That's why Xander's our version of a crazy knight," one of the young slayers said to one of the Asgard warriors. "He brings a sword or an axe to a battle that needs real weapons." She picked up a gun.

"Don't you dare!" Dawn yelled. "They're humans, even if they don't act like it!"

Kreth took the gun from his granddaughter's hand. "You're not old enough yet. Go inside with the others. Take them to the hidden room." She nodded, getting all the free ones in there. The older girls shoved her inside and guarded the doorway so any others that got free could get in there.

Xander got the last group free and pointed. "Inside. Let the men talk, ladies. You can't hurt humans," he reminded one. "Go inside, Yihana."

"Yes, Xander." She led the girls in there.

Xander looked. "Dawn." He pointed. "Greet them if they're not on our side." She looked at the landing helicopters and nodded, running that way. "My brothers, we should not have to fight this battle," he said simply. "But we will and we will win against those that would take out those who protect everyone from the bad things that kill us all." The demons roared and moved in.

Buffy stared, blinking a few times. "Wow."

Faith nodded. "Yup." They got the last few slayers inside and went in to hide. This wasn't their fight. Buffy tried to get to Dawn but Faith hauled her off. "She's safe, B. Let her be. Those ones aren't joining."

Buffy nodded, taking a deep breath. "I can't lose more people. I really can't," she said. "I'd rather die first."

"Not tonight," one of the minis told her. "This one isn't our fight because they're people." She stared up at her. "We don't fight people. We fight demons."

"I know." She hugged her. "I'm just really worried about Dawn."

"Me too," Willow sighed from her corner. "They shoved me in here."

Buffy looked at her. "They might take you out, Willow. We've got to figure out how to help Xander."

"He can handle it."

"No, he can't. He can't take out all those people!" Buffy shouted back. "No matter how often he's had to do it before!" she said when one of the African slayers opened her mouth. "I don't like he had to do it there!"

"Quit shouting," Willow said quietly. "It's not helping, Buffy, and I need to calm down. So do you." She stared at her. "Before we cause a mess that we don't want to." She hugged her. "It'll be okay. Xander has help. He has weapons. He's Xander. He does wacky things. It's Xander."

Buffy took a deep breath, then nodded. "He is and if he's arrested for protecting us we'll handle it." The building shook and a few of the minis screamed. "It's reinforced, it won't come down on us, ladies." She moved to soothe the scared young ones. This was their first real, bad thing. Of course they were scared.

***

Outside, Xander stared at the being that had fired on the house. "You hurt my minis and I'm going to destroy your ass."

"Sorry! Got turned around!" He turned to fire on the humans.

Dawn looked at the first person out. "Oh, great, just what we need, a mind fucking bastard who set up Xander to die. And probably me too!" She glared at him and moved around him. "If you're here to help, go help Xander." She hit one. "I know damn well you're dirty. You tried to take me hostage to sacrifice." She walked over him. "Fall in, help the Xander. The rest of everyone is safely hidden again." They ran to help.

"Oh, good, weapons." She smiled and took them with her. "That'll make a pretty mess." She fired them off on the bad guys and one demon that was trying to get into the house. "Away from the slayers, dumbass! You're here for the bad humans, not to hurt a baby slayer!" She went back to firing on the bad guys. One of the agents stared at her. She smiled. "I'm Buffy's sister and they tried to take me out in DC. They're very lucky Perry decided to come play." He shuddered. That demon had made a mess during the battle against it.

"Then again, they're the sort that take out baby demons just to get attention. Pity." She fired off something else, freeing Thor of the ones that were trying to kill him. "Leave the hair and cape alone, people! His girlfriend's mean and she'll open portals to get the rest of Asgard down here! Do you really want to see that?" she yelled. Loki smirked at her and nodded. "Don't tempt me." He shuddered. They paused when a small ship came down to land. "Oh, fuck me," she muttered, running for Loki. "Blue alien guy!" She waved a hand and got Thor free of someone by kicking him. "Alien guy?" she asked with a point.

He looked then at her. "Kree."

Loki shook his head. "Not a good thing." He went to talk to them about Dawn and leaving her alone. It was a small battle but oh well. He was better. Dawn could protect herself. She wasn't the princessly sort at all it seemed. Then he heard her scream and winced, looking back. No, someone had cut her hair with a bullet. "Oh my," he sighed, going to stop her from breaking out in magic and exposing herself. "Dawn, perhaps you should go hide yourself?" he yelled. "Now please!"

She took a sword off one of the warriors and stabbed the guy. "Don't touch the hair! Do you know how long it takes to grow this shit out! I *am* a Summers woman and we *are* concerned about stuff like that." She stabbed him again, killing him this time. "Jackass!" She spit on him and moved on to get another few for that sin.

Thor looked at the alien. "Flee before they get you as well," he called in All Speak. "Because these sort would take you for a specimen." He flew off. Thor shook his head but watching Loki try to make Dawn quit stabbing people was fun to watch.

Xander yelped. "Oh, fuck you back!" he said, blowing the guy's head off. "I did not need that reopened! Thank you!"

"Xander!" Dawn called. "Need me?"

"Need you out of the way," he shot back. "Go sit down, Dawn. You're tired." He stared at his enemies. The agents were getting the ones on the outer ring, the rest were trying to get him down. He had two pieces of artillery left. He had two allied demons with him. This was going to get messy and he silently told himself he'd do what he could do until he died. Then he'd come back to avenge his death. It was enough. This time, it was just enough. Then the agents blew the bad guys up. Xander looked at the others then at the demons. "Huh." They nodded. "Thanks, guys. Go ahead and flee before they try you too." He patted one on the arm. "Thank you."

"The slayers are good for all who are peaceful. Even those of us in warrior groups." He whistled. "We are going before the humans want us as specimens." They left together.

Thor wiped his sweaty hair back, looking around. "This was a mess."

Xander nodded, looking at his weapons. "Yeah, it was." He spotted someone he hated and walked over to punch him. "Thanks for endangering my life even more. I really needed that gift. I'm going to have someone make you my eternal bodyguard for that." He limped off, going to get his injuries cleaned up in a bathroom. "Do we have running water, Kreth? Please? I'd like to clean some of these."

"We should. We have a well, boy." He stared at him. "Now I know why they call you a Knight."

Xander grinned a bloody smile. "I jumped in because a pretty girl shouldn't do it on her own. Then they took a friend."

The Asgardian warriors nodded. "That is what we would do as well," one agreed. "We will go clean our injuries and celebrate with mead. You can join us. You are more than worthy to join us."

"We have medics," Fury said, wiping off his split lip. "He hits like a girl."

Hill hit him and knocked him down. She had wanted to do that for years. She smirked. "Because you endangered all of us by taking out the early warning system." She walked off. "Let's get the medics here now. Someone tell the slayers the battle is done with."

"Don't let them out yet," Xander called. "We'd never survive the fussing." He sighed, shaking his head. "I'll need to run away again at the nagging too," he said more quietly.

One of the warriors clapped him on the back. "Even female warriors fuss at their warmates, boy."

Xander looked at him. "They think I'm normal."

The warriors all laughed. "They are girlish for warriors but that is good for their kind." They went to clean up and get showers then eat something and get a bit drunk. The slayers were kept away from the warriors since no one could put up with fussing tonight. The two minis who snuck in got cuddled by Xander then sent off to protect themselves from the agents.

Kreth sat down across from Xander. "What happened to the axe parts you carry?"

"His name's Perry and he's an ancient, powerful demon who tried to take down DC. A few of the HYDRA agents had bothered his temple. I had to help defend DC from his temper tantrum. I'll find someone to fix it this week. She's my baby at times."

"We all have weapons we honor and favor," Kreth said. "A few of us are blacksmith trained."

"Can they teach me how to fix it?"

"We can. It will help work off the hangover."

Xander grinned. "This doesn't compare to Gromagrn. It's a demon liquor and about two fingers worth is enough to give alcohol poisoning to a whole group." Kreth smiled at that. "My ex Anya showed me that. I used it against a war band once. It took a bottle that was only about thirty bucks but they all nearly died from alcohol poisoning." He grinned and took a sip. "Anya talked up mead from her old days as a human the first time."

"I know not of her story."

"You might know her by her name Anyanka better," Xander said. "I had to walk away from her at the altar, it would've made her miserable to be tied as a human forever." He took another drink. "Even though the others lied a lot about us having kids and me being out of shape for battles." Kreth stared, mouth open. Xander grinned. "She was kinda like the kitty cat that you feed once and they keep coming back. She demanded I take her to the prom. Then we slept together. Then she kept coming back and I nearly married her." A few of the warriors moaned and shook their heads. "But she would've been miserable and I couldn't do that to her. It would've been evil of me and I'm only evil when I've had too much chocolate."

Kreth smiled. "You need to rest, young one."

Xander nodded as he sipped some more mead. "I know but if I go where the minis can find me they'll nag. I hate nagging."

"Go curl up in the pantry then." He pointed at the door. "They can't find you in there." Xander grinned at him and took his refilled mug that way. Kreth looked at his fellow warriors. "Well, now we know what happened there."

"She died at the battle of the First Evil," Willow said from behind him. "She volunteered to go in with the slayers and Xander. She died friends with him again and agreed, her being married to him would've made her miserable." She sat down next to him. "I'm avoiding the agents before I turn them all into kittens or something for the girls to pet to calm down." She picked up a piece of cheese to nibble on. "Does anyone need a healing spell or something? I'm not great at them but I can help."

Kreth patted her on the back. "Not tonight, Willow. Thank you though." She smiled and shrugged. "Go avoid your argument with your girlfriend by asking Loki how he intends to guard Dawn from the Kree. They are stubborn." She nodded, going to do that.

"Mayhap they'll work on each other's bad sides," another warrior quipped. "I saw Loki's temper coming up earlier."

"Willow could use the guideposts," another agreed. "I've seen her trying to stay on the light but her magic calls to her strongly. The whole Council loathes that but we can't do much about her." They all nodded. "Thankfully I don't have to deal with Xander too often. He drives us barmy."

"Most of us are glad he gave Heimdall knowledge of his vision of the convergence," Thor said. "Or else we would have lost my mother to that battle at the palace." The warriors stared at him so he told them how it had happened. A few groaned. "Those of us who wish to come home, I have a doorway set up in case I am needed while I am down here with my Lady Jane."

"Your lady is very interesting, Thor. Very strong of mind. Her assistant is charming as well and many of us would like to court her if she would but give us attention instead of lip and smiles."

Thor grinned. "Darcy is my claimed sister as she used her box on me twice when Odin banished me. Her lightening box is very handy."

Kreth smiled and nodded. "We've seen. One of the younger warriors got mouthy. He ended up flopping on the ground groaning like he was in pain." He sipped his own mead. "Both women are strong and the sort the slayers could look up to."

"Have they?" Thor asked.

"The young ones. The older ones, some are spoiled but some are good enough to know when women are strong enough. One..." He looked toward the doorway, where they were all ignoring the magic growing. "I believe they're going to have another argument about one's magic and the other's problems." Xander growled as he stomped past them. "Hmm, he does have a temper. We had wondered. The younger slayers thought him pleasant and normal."

Thor nodded. "That must not please him."

"Probably not," another older warrior agreed. "Thor, did you save your mother?"

"Aye, she was injured but well when I left. She agreed I should come." He finished his mead. "I will send to her that you asked of her."

"Thank thee."

"Do you mind!" Xander shouted somewhere in the large manor house. "Some of us are trying to sleep off the damn battle! We do not want to know about magical girlfriend abuse, even if Kennedy is the only one I find worthy to have it done to her! Both of you need to grow the fuck up and split the fuck up so *someone* in this universe is happy before I smite me a bitchy slayer and then spank me a witch who *should* know better! Thank you kindly for your cooperation!" He stomped off again, going back to the pantry to sleep.

Buffy smiled and leaned in. "We'll make Willow and Kennedy go fight somewhere else. Sorry they're making a bad impression and Xander yelled that way. He hasn't really been sleeping while we guarded the main house in Cleveland, even with the agents there helping us." She walked off. "Willow, why don't you two go to Giles' house or somewhere in London to have that talk?" she called as she walked. "That way everyone gets some sleep to nap off the battle stress." She saw Nick Fury in the hallway and turned, then turned back and walked over, having to reach up pretty far to punch him in the jaw. This time, he went flying. He could take a full on slayer punch. "And that's for endangering Xander. We need Xander. The girls sure as hell don't listen to Giles." She walked off again. Yihana had knocked out both of the warring couple. "Thanks, Yihana. Did you call your watcher?"

"He was moaning in pain, but mostly from the hangover." She looked at her. "This is not what we expected being a slayer to be."

"Yeah, I warped it pretty hard so we're allowed to be girls instead of warriors. It's kinda nice. I can't imagine only having one outfit like Kendra had when she was woken because I died for a few minutes."

"You died?" Yihana asked.

"Xander never told you?" She shook her head. "We can have story time about Sunnydale stuff." She gathered the younger girls together to tell them about Kendra and Sunnydale. It was a good bedtime story for the youngest slayers. It might even make them appreciate Willow and Xander more.

***

An agent from one of the British intelligence groups showed up the next morning at a truly unkind hour by the slayer clock. Thankfully the warriors were up. Kreth looked at the agent being let into his home. "Yes?" he asked, smiling some. It was nice they had waited for them to clean and calm down before showing up to nag them.

"Sir, we are aware there was a battle yesterday that we were not warned was coming. May we speak?" the agent asked.

"Of course. Should I get anyone else?"

"Is Mr. Harris here? We don't really like talking to most of the Council but we understand him and he doesn't try to blow smoke up our kilts the way some do."

"He's in a foul mood this morning. Willow awoke him from his sleeping the battle off."

"I've seen him in that sort of mood before."

"I'll have him brought." Kreth went to lean into the kitchen. "The agent would like to talk to Xander as well. He says Xander tells him the truth. He said he didn't even mind the hangover."

Xander leaned out of the pantry. "He's probably going to complain and I'm going to bite him. Can't Giles do it? He's the actual head of the Council."

"Bring him with you, boy. You apparently have status as they listen to you."

"That's because I don't try to muddle their minds like the rest of them." He stood up with a groan, holding his sore arm. "The pantry was really comfy. Thank you for letting me borrow it until I can run away from the nagging again."

Kreth patted him on the back. "It's a good place to hide but my granddaughter usually uses it to hide from chores."

Xander grinned. "I'd do the same thing." They walked into the sitting room. "Hey, Keith."

"Xander." He shook his hand and sat back down when they did. "What on earth happened?"

"We, the Council, was in the way of HYDRA. We were a pretty strong wall and they were going to kidnap the girls to brainwash into their army."

Keith the agent blinked at him. "So you had to have a battle?"

"They attacked the house a few times. Actually, the vision was much worse. It would've just been a slow crumbling of SHIELD as their infestation ate them from the inside until the Captain guy found out." Keith winced. "I saw three whole agencies in rubble." He grinned. "I warned them. They thanked me for it by using me as bait by outing me as a seer. Then we got a bomb, and we got threats, and we got a problem...." He smiled. "Then we had a battle because they started it."

Kreth nodded. "We were asked by a slayer to help guard the girls. I did not know it was that bad until the warning came out for the young ones to go into hiding. Then I had to ask."

"One of us went to ask Thor but we only knew about the ones that were banished," Buffy said as she came in.

"The list I gave her had a few others," Xander said. "I was hoping they'd be able to maybe go home and quit giving so many problems in the Mediterranean." Xander rubbed his forehead. "Because there's six down there causing no end of issues by outing themselves and getting attacked and then getting drunk and into brawls and taking on the local peaceful demons that've been there for centuries. They're the ones keeping the sea down there calmer and full of fish and they tried to take them out. I'm not sure if they're all going to live through their last injuries."

Keith nodded. "It would be nice if they could go home then. Plus them guarding the girls would give their lives something to do again."

"A warrior without a mission is bored," Kreth said. "They often drink and get into trouble. I'll have Thor talk to them."

"The slayer that talked to him said it'd look bad if he did but he did eventually," Buffy said. "No idea how that worked out if they're not here."

"Nope," Xander said. "Only one."

Kreth smiled. "I know of that one. Discipline solved much of that. I'll talk with Thor later about some of them." Xander grinned at him. "At least you had her try."

"I figured it was his people and we needed more warriors, and some might even want to help the slayers once they realized they're tiny young women who like to shop but end up in battles." He shrugged. "I'm always looking for someone to date some of the girls who aren't dirtbags."

Kreth burst out laughing. "I know of many warriors who would like to date a female warrior because it would mean she could protect their family and their home if something happened." He smiled. "You have many ideas, young one."

"I try."

"Too hard sometimes." Buffy looked at him. "You get to talk to Andrew about his nanites."

Xander looked at her. "If I did that, I'd have an eternal bodyguard." She huffed. He grinned at Keith again. "I heard it helped when they started to confess."

"I hadn't heard a thing about that and as far as I'm concerned I haven't yet. Until my supervisor asks." The two from the Council smiled at him for that. "Then I'll talk to Andrew about that. Where is he?"

"Hiding in his evil guy condo lair," Xander said. "Somewhere on a beach with skanky college girls."

"Ah. Well, he could probably use a few of those anyway. Might help him calm down and make better concrete plans for when he tries to take over humanity. I know he'll try some year."

"I'd better be gone," Buffy said dryly. "I lived through Warren shooting me and killing Tara. I lived through Jonathan's book thing. I don't need another evil genius incident in my life."

"He promised me a few skanky hos of my own if I didn't try to stop him," Xander quipped with a grin.

Thor walked in pulling back his hair. "Thank you for hosting us, Kreth."

"It's no problem, my Prince." He smiled. "Did you talk to the ones by the Mediterranean?"

"I had. They are bored and causing problems."

"Yes they are and it's going to mean that sea goes nasty and fishless," Xander quipped. "I'm tired of yelling at them if you wanted to take up that job too." He grinned. Thor stared at him oddly. "We do protect the peaceful communities and that one keeps the seas calm and the fish plentiful so people don't starve. I'd let some of the older girls pounce them but they haven't been the sort I'd trust around them yet."

"They're young, bored, and stupid. They'll learn," Kreth assured him. He looked at Thor. "This is an agent from the local government."

Thor shook his hand. "I have seen Director Fury."

"I'm ignoring he exists as well because he does not have authority to act over here." Keith smiled. "Which is another tizzy that the higher ups had about the battle." He looked at Xander. "Could have warned us."

"I didn't know it was going to happen at all, much less here. I was in London when it started."

"So the weapons you used were mostly the Council's?"

"I think SHIELD brought some but I think Dawn used those," Xander said.

Buffy blinked. "My sister Dawn?" she demanded. "Dawn!"

"Fuck. Off! I'm doing something!" was yelled back by a female. "I can't leave this potion and it's a healing one!"

"How did my brother come into this?" Thor asked, sitting down.

"I wasn't going to mention him either," Keith said with a smile for Xander. "You seem to give the best explanations so do you have one for him?"

"We were in DC and the dirty agents were trying to attack Dawn. Apparently he had vowed to protect her at one point in time so she called in the debt." Keith sighed, shaking his head. "It's helpful. He's talked to Willow too." He grinned at Thor. "Thank you."

"She is mucho loud with her fight against Kennedy," Buffy said. "Then again, Kennedy did neat things like not tell London they were going to have a battle." Keith looked at her. "One of the others told everyone when Xander reminded them."

"Good," Keith said. "Can we remove her from the local house?"

"This is our punishment house because you guys won't let them get away with anything," Xander said with a smile. "Not like we can send her out on patrol on her own."

"Point. Pity but a point. Maybe the house in Paris?"

"They're still swearing we're deluded and they're going to fix us yet," Buffy sighed. "We just snort and ask for more pastries apparently."

"It's going to suck when one of their top judges has to admit his daughter's a slayer," Xander said, sipping his coffee that had just appeared. "Thanks, Willow. She even remembered the sugar."

Buffy sipped her tea and the others sipped their own drinks. "I like it when Willow's fussing." She looked at Xander.

He held up his free hand. "You start nagging and I'm walking off again." He took another drink and relaxed.

"Not going to nag. Just quietly complain that you got hurt again."

He stared at her. "Yeah. Lots and lots of people with weapons against me, a good group of warrior demons, the Asgardian warriors, and we mostly had more primitive weapons than guns. I'm lucky I'm not dead and so are they, Buffy. Though, I'll still come back as an avatar." He smiled.

"Don't tell me that. Or Willow. You know she'll try to make you immortal."

He nodded. "Yeah. She had to be diverted when she heard that before." He sipped his coffee again.

Keith shook his head. "You guys are certifiable."

"It's the battles," Xander said dryly. "And starting when we were teenagers." He grinned. "Not like most people have our sort of battles at sixteen."

Thor shrugged. "Our warriors start training about then but we don't have battles like the girls go through usually."

"If it could calm down...." Buffy said dryly. "I'd like not to have any more apocalypse battles too."

"I second that motion," Xander quipped. Giles walked in. "Agent Keith, this is Rupert Giles, head of the Council."

"Pleasure," Giles said, shaking his hand. He looked at Xander. "Willow's huffy?"

"That Loki told her to be less obviously evil, that Kennedy's a bitch, or is it post battle Xander's in our way feelings again?"

"Probably a bit of all of them, though I did agree with Loki about Willow." He settled between his two people. "Thank you, Lord Kreth, for guarding my slayers so well. We were hoping to draw them away from the girls, not have them appear here."

Kreth smiled. "I'm no Lord, Rupert, and it was my pleasure. One is my granddaughter and most of the girls are very good guests. They puttered in my garden for days." He sipped his tea. "The other few needed spanked or diverted from worrying and those who were old enough got to spar with the warriors." Xander grinned at that plan. "And a few pounced for stress relief."

"As long as they made sure the warriors agreed," Buffy said dryly. "And didn't hurt them."

"No, it was good for them," Kreth said.

"We'd like all the girls to have good boyfriends or girlfriends. If they do it for them, go for it and I'll walk anyone down the aisle if they want," Xander said. "As long as no one's going to come storming into my camp to kill me for being here."

Keith shook his head. "We don't want to. SHIELD ...that's another matter." He stared at him. "They're concerned you acted against them."

"They endangered my life on purpose like I'm their staked goat," Xander said simply. "I owe them a few more hits." Keith shuddered. Giles patted him on the leg to calm him down. Xander looked at him. "I'm probably not going to be safe for a good, long time."

"We'll work on it," Giles soothed.

"They went on network news and told them I'm the seer that had foreseen all that! That means I'm going to be hunted for being a seer, and by people who want to know what I've seen beyond that. Frankly, they can all go away for that."

Buffy looked around Giles at him. "You didn't get any at the house."

"We've had a few agents calling over for us to detain him until we can find out what he's seen," Keith said. "We have no idea which side of that battle they're on."

"I emailed all those to SHIELD," Xander said dryly.

"The US is about to declare them defunct and nearly terrorists. They won't trust them."

Maria Hill walked into the doorway, staring at him. "We can fix that, Xander."

He snorted. "Are you a goddess now, Hill?" He stared at her. "I'm pretty sure you can't. Especially since that would make me a huge target right before any apocalypse battle because now they know too." She winced but nodded. "Frankly, spill all you want to help me but when I get killed from this, Fury is on my list because of this incident."

She nodded. "Understood and we're working to get you free of the US government." She nodded at Agent Keith. "I do have copies of all of them."

"Your people's buildings were all confiscated last night," he said dryly.

"I know. It's in my personal emails. Which are conveniently with the BBC I'm told."

Xander grinned. "Instead of having her do that while you and Captain guy were taking down those helicarriers that were going to murder thousands, I suggested it happen earlier. Which helped a lot when agents started to pop up as dirty. Made your job easier in a way."

"It did," she agreed. "Thank you." She walked off again. She had to work on that problem before the rest of them died because someone was coming after Xander.

Buffy shook her head. "You're paranoid."

"Seers are always a target," Thor said. Kreth nodded. "Among ours, our seers are protected as our healers are. That way none can get to them to make them see for them or to take out the warning system." Xander grimaced but nodded. "Thank you for warning Heimdall."

"It's no problem, Thor. If you love your mom, you're going to want to save her. Plus it helped lessen the battle down here by a lot. You guys didn't destroy half the college like you would've before." Thor smiled. "We're still protecting your girlfriend in case others want to take her for her portal making ideas."

"Thank thee. That is good to know for when I cannot be close by."

Willow stomped in. "Buffy, I need to be moved somewhere else."

Xander cleared his throat. "Willow." She glared at him. He stared back. "Fine, I won't give you a solution." She huffed. "Go to a sperm bank. You need an heir. You need someone to fuss over. You need to calm down. The senior witches suggested it last year. Maybe it's a good time because we're between battles?"

"That won't calm me down! I'll turn into my mother!"

"No you won't," Buffy said. "And it'd give me someone to fuss over too." Willow gaped. Buffy nodded with a grin. "I could love a niece and Annabeth said that she got a lot calmer after having her little whining spawn that hates cuddles."

"Oh. I...."

"Which would probably keep Kennedy away from you," Xander said, finishing his coffee with a grin. "Because she's not the stepmommy sort."

"I...." She slumped. "Giles?"

"I think it'd be an excellent idea, Willow. Children do change your outlook on life and your priorities. It could also calm you down because you can't be the flittering, impetuous witch with a baby depending on you."

"I...." She smiled. "I might do that. Thank you." She hugged Xander. "Still in trouble for being injured and all that, Mister. You're still normal."

He snorted. "Go tell Hill that." She waved a hand and they all felt the magic go. "Willow."

"That way she can't hurt you more."

"They told the news, Willow. Hill might actually be able to stop some of them."

"Ehh." She ended the spell. "Fine." She walked off to talk to one of the senior witches about that before she started to research. It wasn't like she had vowed her virginity to a god or anything. And hey, maybe they'd know a nice guy she could ask for his sperm.

Xander nodded at Giles. "Welcome," he mouthed. "Though I have no idea who she's going to pounce."

"She'll go to a bank, Xander. She likes girls," Buffy sighed in complaint.

"She liked Oz too and they had plenty of sex, Buffy."

"I forgot about Oz." She considered it then shrugged. "As long as she doesn't go jump Loki. And can we get him away from my sister?"

"He vowed his protection on her," Thor said. "He won't misbehave with her."

"I'm not worried about that. I'm worried he'll let her date or something. My sister needs to not date, not get any sort of attention from boys."

"That's not how life goes, Buffy," Kreth said. "She is a good young woman and a healer in training. Healers are *never* single." She pouted. "Your mother would appreciate her finding someone good."

"Not really."

Xander snorted. "Joyce would've yelled at you for that."

"Maybe but I'm still right." She went to nag her sister, but Dawn and Loki had disappeared when she had finished the healing potion. Buffy got to go help talk Willow into giving her someone else to fuss over and overprotect. She had done a great job with Dawn.

***

Dawn appeared in a small house. "This is not where I wanted to be," she said, looking at Loki. It was his portal.

"We were summoned," Loki said with a grimace for the man walking their way. "You called?"

"Slightly." He grinned at Dawn. "Is Xander alive?"

She stared at him. "Unlike Willow and my sister, I saw that." He smirked. "And yeah, he's about to run away from the fussing. Though it's nice the warriors from Asgard appreciate him." She smiled. "But why did you summon?"

"To talk about him."

"I'm about to help him put on hiding spells. You really have to talk to Xander, not us. He thinks of me like a goofy little sister, which I am, but he'll never take advice from me on love stuff or job stuff. They made their own war by taking his sworn brother." She shrugged. "Have a happier day, dude. I've got to get back to classes soon." She looked at Loki. "Back where we started? Or the clinic near there?"

"The clinic perhaps." He concentrated and brought them there. Someone in there jumped up with a weapon.

"Whoa!" Dawn said, freezing them. "He's protecting me from the bad guys. He's not here for you or to start trouble." She felt someone coming up behind her and froze him too, staring at him. "Stand down, Sparky." She looked at the nurse, smiling. "Can I help? I'm full of energy again."

"Yes. Gladly." She led them back to one of the treatment rooms so the doctor could suck off some of Dawn's energy while Dawn read healing textbooks. The two 'heros' got unfrozen as Dawn's energy got drained. The nurse kept them from getting to them. "Do not go near Dawn. If she's panicking she can do bad things that she doesn't mean to. We're all lucky she does healing things with her extra energy."

"Gifts are a choice," Dawn said from her seat. "I choose to use mine to help my sister and others." She looked at the one staring in there. "He vowed his protection on me. He's not here for you."

"He had New York invaded. It killed hundreds of people."

Dawn stood up and walked over. "The last one who tried to use my energy destroyed a realm." He flinched back. "Therefore, I called on his protection vow to help me when I needed it most. He's not here for you this time. Or his brother. Who is presently surrounded by young slayers. Okay?" He nodded stiffly, backing up. "Cool." She relaxed again. "All I wanted to do was to donate some excess energy to the healers, who always need it, then go do my homework for freshman classes next week. Frankly, I'm glad we could help you find your buddy there. I'm glad he's healing and all that.

"Thank you for protecting DC while we were scattered and handling the problems. And your buddies for handling Cleveland for us. But right now, we had a huge battle last night that nearly killed all of us. We're all a bit tense. As I don't have great methods of dealing with battle tension because I'm single right now, I need to finish this donation and if I'm not calm the healers can't use it. Since they need it to help people...." She waved a hand. "He also did really good talking to Willow about her magic addiction issues. Including magical girlfriend abuse I hope."

"I did point out it wasn't very nice of her," Loki admitted dryly. "But then again I believe the quim needed to have her head rearranged."

Dawn nodded. "We all think that about Kennedy." She went back to her seat. "Is your buddy okay or is there something I can make or do to help him heal more? I'm taking training from the healers after hours."

"The one healer got some of his memories unlocked and we're working on the rest of them," Steve said. "Thank you for helping him."

Dawn smiled. "It's never a problem. We like to help things. My mother would be proud I had helped. Complain a lot about the battle stuff but proud I had helped."

"I'm sure she would. You and your sister are both nice young women who handle a lot of things," Steve said. "Is she...."

"Died of a brain tumor that came up really suddenly. That was before the hell goddess that my sister died to stop." Steve nodded, looking down. "It's been a while but I'm pretty sure Mom would be happy." She smiled. "Let me know if you guys need stuff. I'm at one of the local colleges."

"I can do that. Thank you, Dawn."

"You're welcome. Oh, and don't bother Xander. He's a bit of panicking heavily right now thanks to Fury outing him as a seer."

Loki nodded. "Because that just put a major price on his head and they may not care if he's around a slayer."

"Some people would consider that a value-added moment," Dawn said. "Especially some demons with ideas of apocalypse battles."

Loki nodded. "True. Though I do have to admire his touch of craziness."

"They do call him a white knight," she shot back with a smile.

"Clearly so." The healer walked around Steve and came in to suck more energy. "How much can you donate?" he asked Dawn.

"A lot. Since I don't use my magic, it's gotta go somewhere."

"That's a good point. You know, a warrior spouse would be an ideal for you." Loki smiled.

"Yeah but most of them suck in bed," Dawn quipped back. "I'd never go for muscled, stupid, and bad in bed. I demand smarts, good in bed, and might like to travel with me while I study artifacts and healing."

Loki stared at her. "Thor's taken or I'd suggest him," he said finally, smirking at her.

"He'd be cute to climb but no, Jane has that in her hip pocket. And I doubt he'd like to talk about artifacts and healing with me."

"They're not really his areas, but he is smarter than he seems. You can't be stupid and rule."

She nodded. "Good point. Well, find me one that's cute, but maybe darker hair, and smart in my areas, and really good in bed, and I'll see." She smirked. "Without magic because I don't want mine to react to theirs. And no, not hinting."

"Good. You're not my type. Much too young and mortal." She smirked. "You are."

"I'd hope so. That would suck otherwise."

"Good point." He looked at the hero his brother had worked with to stop him. "How is the annoying one?"

"Handling the protection in Cleveland and other places."

Dawn snapped and pulled out her phone to call. "Hey, Petey, it's Dawn. Everyone's okay. Two of the minis were taken out before they got to safety, a few of the girls had some injuries from the capturing before Xander got there. Xander's fine, and talked Willow into thinking about having a baby to help her calm down and get away from Kennedy. The UK government guys are there to mildly complain that they weren't warned and to snub SHIELD. SHIELD is there to piss everyone off. So just settle Cleveland down because Buffy's on her way back as soon as she can. She's flirting hard with warriors that they'd like to let the girls adopt."

She listened. "That's sweet of them. Are they okay?" She nodded. "Yeah, that whole clan has been a bitch from what Buffy said about patrols recently. I'd tell Xander but he's paranoid about all that stuff so it'll be days. I'll tell Buffy that they ran into that clan. Thanks, Petey." She hung up and texted her sister. "That'll help and your teammates are fine, but a bit banged up after running into a massive clan of vampires that wanted to take over the city with their biker gang."

"I'll call them later. Which ones are there?" Steve asked.

"The pretty redheaded one and the one that most of the slayers drooled on the spandex butt of." She smiled. "And one other that's in punishment for not telling them something."

"I'll call Clint and Natasha. Thank you for your help, Dawn."

"Welcome." They walked off to call in Bucky's room and to protect Bucky from Loki.

Dawn shrugged at the healer, clearing her mind and emotions so more could be drained. It had to be neutral to be used for healing.

***

Loki reappeared on Asgard, shaking his head at the warriors converging on him. "I was summoned," he said. "I also bring news." He nodded. "Take me to Odin. It's not all good news but it is from his *son*." He walked that way and they surrounded him like an honor guard. How quaint. He walked in and nodded at his mother. She smiled and came down to hug him. "I was summoned by a protection vow I once made," he said in her ear.

She moaned. "Then we heard truly that the artifact was human." She sat down.

"We did." He looked at Odin. "Keep the cube off Earth." He handed over the letter to his guard of Sif. "From Thor's hand about the battle just fought and the warriors who helped." He looked at his mother. "She summoned me to protect her. She's studying artifacts and healing."

His mother nodded. "That's a good field for her gifts I would suppose."

"We saw a Kree. One showed up during the battle that was fought. She's a little hellcat but fashionable and only fights as a last resort."

His mother smiled. "Some girls are girlish that way. Was she pleasant while you protected her, my son?"

"Very. She let me do and wander as I wished as long as I was there to remove her from danger and get to her in the battle." He looked over as Heimdall walked in. "Thor?"

"The same seer was complaining about things, but praised your actions in guarding that young woman."

"The senior slayer's sister. She invoked my protection."

"I saw," Heimdall said with a small smirk. He bowed at Odin. "He was snatched."

"As you told me." He folded up the letter. "These warriors?"

"Most at the battle were ones who went on a quest, usually in grief. There were a few who had been banished. A few others are causing problems. Senior Warrior Kreth has an idea how to handle them. He thinks much of his family down there."

Odin nodded, smiling some. "Kreth always was a good warrior and would do many good. If that is his wish, I will take a petition to bring back some of them that have proven they have become better."

Heimdall nodded. "Thank you, Odin. The ones who were down there after their quests may also return. Some however may be with the slayers." Freya smiled at that information. "The girls have thought many make good watchers and hunting partners. It solves many problems. That seer agreed it was a good idea and had tried to set a few of them up before. He's also escaped with a note of gratitude to Senior Warrior Kreth for his help and an apology for fleeing the girls that way if it looked bad. Thor's Lady Jane had been tainted by the Aether but the one Loki was guarding finished removing it."

Loki snapped. "I forgot about that." He grimaced. "The healers training her could help with that."

Heimdall nodded. "They could, though the seer saw that clinic being attacked and called it in so they're all evacuating." He grimaced. "That man needs a guardian of his own."

"He'd probably enjoy dating someone like Sif," Loki said with a smile for her. "His last true woman was Anyanka."

Sif blinked at him. "I can't compete against that. I've never been that angry at men."

Heimdall looked at her. "He is a good man but young. He jumped into the battles without training and kept going as he absorbed it."

She nodded. "I've still never been that angry at men or that evil toward them. Maybe one of the other warriors?"

"Maybe," Heimdall agreed. "He could use one to soothe him and calm him down from where he is now. Right now he is on that same point of he'll walk off soon." He looked at Odin. "The one who was protected by him sent her thanks for the lending as she put it. We had not seen her coming into being."

Freya smiled and nodded. "It is weird but there was only one way that could happen."

"Which meant her sister died and was brought back, which started off the First Evil, which got all the slayers called, and then that led to them being able to win when LA was invaded by a demon plane," Dawn said from behind them. "Sorry, got sent." She held up the scroll. "Jane Foster sent that about something she ran into." She handed it to Heimdall. "She was asking if I could find a way to get it sent up because she couldn't talk to the witches, they upset her science with their arrogance. Somehow that led to me being here."

Heimdall looked it over then handed it to Sif for Odin. "I will send you back, Dawn."

"Thank you." She smiled and nodded. "Thank you for making him crafty and polite enough to be able to guard me recently."

Odin sneered. "Who do you think you are, child?"

She smiled back. "I'm the Key, Odin." He flinched back, shaking his head. She nodded. "Yup, little old me. Please protect my baby energy better? I felt when it was down there. Really not happy making." She looked at Loki. "Or your scepter. Damn glad I wasn't in New York then or we'd have had a whole different battle." She walked off with Heimdall. "Thank you for getting me home."

"It's no problem, Dawn."

"It probably is but I've got to figure out why that did the wacky thing."

"The Aether."

"I'll work on absorbing it or whatever later." He nodded, opening the portal to send her home. She sighed, collapsing on her couch. "That'll be fun. Let's meditate," she told her hamster. It went back to his hamster wheel to play some more. She added treats and food, cleaned his litter, made herself a snack, then settled in to meditate.

***

Odin stared at his wife, who nodded. "She was."

"Which I vowed to protect when I was taught of it. Most of us did," Loki added. "Let me go back to my cell so I can rest. I've been surrounded by bouncy female warriors who worry about their clothes and nails for the last week." He got led back there and put inside so he could finally nap.

Odin walked off to contemplate that development. That may be a huge problem for his son. He sent a letter to Thor about that but Heimdall told him later he would not deliver it because it could endanger all on that planet. Plus Loki had already warned him.

***

Back on earth, Xander was back in Africa, looking at Yihana's watcher. "Okay, let's get you straightened out because you're worrying your slayer and that makes them get injured or fussy or nag. No one needs slayer nagging. Trust me." He walked him off to make him sober up in the stream. Xander did train watchers as well as slayers. This one needed some training.

Up in England, Kreth found the letter of thanks, smiling at it. "I understand why he left. Even my own granddaughter nags. It must come from the slayer spirit. Probably from Buffy." He went to get lunch. The Council people were slowly going home after being nagged by the local government and SHIELD was simply huffing off like they hadn't started this problem. It'd be interesting to watch but not on his lawn. He noticed the broken axe and took the pieces to one of the better metal smiths to look over. He nodded he could easily fix it and needed something to do.

Thor walked into dinner that night. "My father has said he will take petitions for those who were banished to come home or make arrangements for those who want to go back. We can talk to Heimdall whenever one of you want."

Jane walked around his back, heading for the kitchen with Darcy pushing her. "I nearly have it figured out. We'll be able to reconnect the bridge in probably another six months."

Thor smiled at her. "Thank you, Jane. Darcy, she'll eat."

"Yeah, tomorrow," she said dryly. "She just got given books on the bridge by the witches that wanted her out of their hair."

Thor nodded. "My mother practices but doesn't have the fussing nature they do." He followed his lady and claimed sister to make sure Jane ate. She would do so when he reminded her. Or fed her by hand. It pleased her and made his night happier when she'd pounce later. Which left Darcy to go have her own pleasures with someone.

The warriors drew her to a table to talk with her. Warriors did like pretty young women.

***

Xander looked up from training one of the really minis as a truck pulled into the farm's driveway. "That's interesting." He looked at her mother and shrugged. "I'm hoping it's not a problem." He got up and walked out there to talk to them. The father of the family could but he was off working in a field so Xander was honor bound to protect the family. Not that he wouldn't have done it anyway. He paused by the front of the truck, staring at them. "Are you guys lost?" he asked in Swahili, then again in English when two white guys got out.

"No, Mr. Harris, we needed to talk to you about what happened in England," one of them said in a British accent.

"I already talked to Agent Keith. He liaisons with the Council."

"We know. We wanted to know a few more things and he's on injury leave," one said.

Xander stared at him. "I know damn well the rot was in your people too," he said bluntly. "Why should I trust you're not one of them?"

"Are you always this paranoid?" the other agent asked.

"Yes. Because there's people who could be out to get me," he shot back, staring at him then the other one. "I'm busy training one of the really minis. Frankly, we talk to the liaison officers only. We trust them. We don't know you and it's really suspicious that you came all the way down here."

"We're from the relatively close-by local bureau," the driving agent said, staring at him. "We're not here to harm you, just ask a few things about the weapons you used."

"Mostly already in storage. I grabbed when they sent me up there from London."

"London?" the first agent demanded. "That's stored in London?"

"Did you think the old Council didn't have weapons when huge things popped up?"

"We didn't hear a lot about them or from them. Which we did like a lot."

"Yeah but they had problems like kidnaping slayers from their families. We didn't like that. And if we're more open then you guys can help us protect yourselves instead of whining at us for doing it for you like we got after LA."

"Point. A lot of us would like to spare little girls hunting."

"So would we, which is why we don't allow it," Xander quipped.

"Even twenty-year-old girls are little girls in their minds," the driving agent said blandly. "We really aren't here to harm you. You could relax and cooperate."

"And I could also remember that there's three different prices on my head," Xander quipped back, shifting his stance. "And that the things you want to know probably won't be coming out of my mouth." They grunted in displeasure. "I have no idea where the old Council got the weapons from."

"Where do you get yours from?"

"Here and there. I've had to fix a few things, I've stolen a few things when necessary, I've bought a few things. I traded for something. Then the guy gave me an extra one when he saw why I needed it. I invited him to bring it to the battle." He grinned. "He was a bit horrified."

"We are too," the driving agent said. "Can't you send them back underground?"

"Sure, go back in time and take all the cameras out of LA," he said blandly.

"Can't do that."

"Us either. It does make the job harder when people come up to whine at the slayers in the mall."

The agents both nodded. "Does that happen a lot?"

"Yes." He pulled up a youtube video on his phone. "Taken by one of the other slayers while one was being complained to." He let them see it. "As proof that they do it."

They both grimaced at the loud complaining at the young slayer about there being demons messing up her reality. Though the slayer getting sassy made them smile. "I'd consider that whining as well," the driving agent said. He handed the phone back. "How soon before another battle?"

Xander shrugged. "How would I know?" They gave him 'don't be stupid' looks. "I didn't see the last one. That was Fury's shit. Just like outing me was." He stared at them. "I haven't seen one for here locally but I've only seen four of the eighteen we've had. I only see apocalypse battles. The next one I've seen I sent in a few months back. Including to your people since part of it was in London. You might see if Kennedy was hiding anything else."

"We heard about that. Did your people punish her?"

"Yup, and her girlfriend screamed at her a lot while they were at Lord Kreth's house."

"He's a what?"

"Asgardian."

"Oh." They nodded. "Is he involved?"

"One of his grandchildren is a future slayer."

"That's fine then. He probably understands warriors better than anyone else in the normal life," the other agent decided. "Do you have any idea if we're having a battle down here soon?"

Xander shrugged. "There's always a chance of one. Bigger chances near special events like the convergence that got the one in London recently. Or certain holidays." They nodded but grimaced. "I only see apocalypse battles, guys. I haven't seen one for this area for years yet."

"That's good to know. Can we have your phone number in case something does pop up so someone can come handle it with us?" He handed over his card. "Thank you."

"I hand those out like candy to people like military leaders I had to tell. I also run training sessions for ones that want to hear it."

"That's even better. Thank you, Mr. Harris, and you can probably be less paranoid."

Xander snorted. "I've already had one that tried to burn me in my truck for being a seer. Sure I can. He walked off. "Have a good trip back." He spotted his young slayer staring and took the machete from her. "You're too young for that." She scowled but he grinned and walked her back there, telling her to relax and why the agents had been there. Her mother sighed in displeasure but it wasn't his fault.

***

Darcy Lewis looked up from her reading in the park break from Jane, smiling at the man staring at her. "Yes?"

"Miss Lewis?" the agent asked.

"I am. But you knew that. What's up?" She put her book in her bag.

"What do you know about the Council?"

"Not a lot. They were guarding my boss to keep people from snatching her for her work. We ended up hiding near some of them before the people in HYDRA or whoever attacked them."

The agent nodded. "That's reasonable. Why your boss?"

"She's a physicist and Thor's girlfriend. The senior Council people thought it'd be a good idea if she's watched over so no one snatches her for any reason."

"Oh. I see." He nodded once. "The girls?"

"They're probably fine. They were when we all checked after that battle. They made sure the slayers weren't going to have to kill humans."

"Yes, that's good of them. Do you think they're still here?"

"I'm fairly certain most of the slayers are back where they should be. Including the ones in the local house."

"That's good. We just wanted to make sure of what you knew about them. That way some things can't really be leaked out." He pulled something but he got hit from behind by the guy Darcy was staring at.

"Thank you," she chirped with a smile. "Who're you?"

He grinned back. "You missed me in New Mexico, Miss Lewis. I'm Agent Barton."

She stood up to shake his hand. "Any idea who he was?"

"Old Council." She rolled her eyes. "There's a few that missed the purge and didn't get rehired because they were dicks."

"I can call the local house."

"Please."

She called. "Hi, it's Darcy Lewis....no, no one stole Jane. We have an old white guy who is apparently old Council that tried to take me out in the park for knowing you guys. Do you have someone to handle him?" She nodded, taking down the number. "I can do that. Thanks." She hung up and called him. "Agent Keith, it's Darcy Lewis. Yes, Jane Foster's assistant. Agent Barton just knocked out an old Council guy who was going to shoot me for knowing about the girls." She looked around. "By a pretty statue of Athena in a park."

Clint took the phone. "It's Agent Barton. I knocked him out when he pulled a gun on her. We're in the riding park near Foster's apartment. Thank you, yes, there." He hung up and tossed her back the phone. "I can wait with you."

She grinned. "That's fine. I don't mind pretty men waiting with me." She made room on the bench. "You can even sit. I'm not biting today."

He grinned, settling beside her on the bench. When the guy groaned, Clint got up to hit him again then sat back down. They both waved as two officers and an agent showed up. "Him, guys. He tried to pull a gun on a pretty lady who was reading."

"Who're you, sir?" the officer asked.

"Former Agent Clint Barton, SHIELD. One of the decent ones."

"That's fine then. Did you use a weapon to knock him out?"

"Punch to the head."

"Even better." He pulled a gun. "Let's go then."

"Excuse you?" Darcy asked. "No." The guy glared at her. She pointed off to the right. "I think we're waiting on him. Agent Keith?"

"I have no idea who they are or what they think they're doing," the said as he walked over. "But they're going to quit it. MI-5, boys." He held up his badge. The trio ran off. "Hmm." He called his partner, who had their images and was searching. "Ah! Old liners as Xander calls them." He looked at her. "They're apparently against the girls being outed and all that."

"Not like they could've kept it inside after the invasion in LA," Darcy said. "Or the one in Miami."

"True but they're not reasonable sorts. That's why Rupert wouldn't rehire them." He checked the one on the ground and got his backup to take him with them. "Are you all right?" he asked her.

"Are they going to keep going?" she asked.

"We'll try to stop them. Though, your taser is illegal in this city." He stared at her for a moment then smiled. "Find another way that's not a gun."

"Sure, I can suddenly become a ninja or learn magic or something," she said dryly.

"That's fine. If you do end up tazing them, they'd probably just try to confiscate it." He looked at the former agent. "Thank you for helping her and can you please remove your teammates from London?"

"Nope. They called a meeting here."

"That's bad. If you need to do something, let us know," he said, handing over his card. "Thank you." He walked off after the body haulers/investigative team. They were not going to be happy.

"I think I need to call the head guys," Darcy said.

"Might help," he agreed, grinning at her. "You just lead an exciting life, don't you?"

"It's all at once since most of my time is spent nagging Jane to remember this reality." She called the number she had for Willow, the only one she had. "It's Darcy Lewis. One of your former people just tried to shoot me so I couldn't tell anyone about you guys. Yup, one of them. Agent Keith has him and another three tried but he ran them off." She listened. "That's who he said they were. Thank you, Willow." She hung up. "I think that was Kennedy."

"Could be. They're still together. We're not sure *why*," Clint said with a grin. "But I guess it's like being in love with an alcoholic or anyone with a personality disorder." Darcy tried not to grin. "C'mon, I'll escort you back to Thor's side."

"Isn't he at the meeting with you guys?"

"Hopefully. That's the idea of us being over here." He walked her off, taking her to the meeting area. Where Jane and Eric were too. Eric Selvig gave him a horrified, pouty look. "Relax, Doctor Selvig. Like you I got healed from the damage Loki caused." He nodded. Darcy patted Eric on the arm. "Old Council people just tried to make sure she wouldn't talk about the girls."

"Really?" Jane demanded, looking at Darcy.

"Came up to me in the park," Darcy sighed. "Their agent friend showed up to get them."

"Good!"

"We want your team safer anyway," Stark said, staring at them. "Including your sassy sidekick and assistant scientist."

"Intern, please. I'm not the science sort. I'm a political science sort."

Stark frowned. "Really?"

"Darcy stays. She does things so I know how to find them later," Jane ordered.

"That's fine." Stark smiled at her, leering a bit. "We could find her another assistant's position."

"I thought you had a redheaded lady who can kick your butt for that already," Darcy quipped back.

Stark smiled. "Yes, I do, and she's fantastic and could use another assistant I can tease." He looked at Barton. "Old line Council?" He nodded. "Charming. Do they know?"

"I called," Darcy said. "I don't know if whoever I told will tell others."

Stark nodded. "They really need more people."

"There's a few good agents who are applying," Clint said. "They would make good field watchers and spare Xander a lot of work."

"That could help, yup," Darcy quipped. "Though I think he's hiding in Africa."

Natasha Romanoff nodded. "He is." They all smiled at her. "We can set up Jane's lab so it's comfortable for all of you and yet safer."

"You mean not in my mother's flat?" Jane asked dryly.

"That as well," Natasha agreed. "There's a few places that would do excellently with your chosen field of study. It would also get Thor out of harm's way if something happened locally."

Around the room, phones started to go off with the same text message: Get out of London, something's tracking you and is going to attack by tonight if they can do it in a way that'll cause problems for more than you. If you're somewhere quieter it'll just attack you.

Darcy looked at her phone's message then at Jane. "Let's take a roadtrip, Jane." Thor looked at Darcy's phone then nodded. "Upcountry?"

"We're going toward open fields," Stark agreed. "That's Harris' number so probably a vision?"

Darcy sent that back, nodding at what she got back. "Vision, it's a demon, it's a shape changing demon, and it wants to be a primadonna but can't manage it without taking out something huge with people watching." She looked up.

"Got it," Stark agreed. "People, want to visit Stonehenge or something?"

"Watch out for the old Council's remains out that way," Jane said. "That's where they were blown up." They nodded and broke up the meeting to go hide for a few days. Thor went with his teammates after kissing Jane stupid. Darcy got to drive them up toward where Jane could see real stars without smog at night.

***

Xander put down his phone, rubbing his head. "I hate visions."

The mini slayer got him some water. "Thank you for having them."

"You're welcome." He patted her on the arm. "Go work on the workbook while I fight the headache?" She nodded. Later that night, Stark wrote him about who or what it was. He told him and where it was watching him. She had a camera online to film her when she attacked them. He got a groan and they found her and beat her. Not what that demon princess wanted. Then her big brother showed up and he was a problem but when Thor held him down and told him why they had beaten his sister, he called in his family to scream at her and them. Thankfully they managed to save the team and when Stark found her weapons he could disarm them. So another problem solved for a bit. Even if Stark was ranting about how demons shouldn't be able to get nuclear level devices out of thin air.

***

Xander looked around the filmy realm he found himself in. "Cool, a dream walk. I haven't done this since the shaman showed me how." He looked at the blond man staring at him. "Hi again."

"Hey," Tommy said, staring at him. "Are you ready to give up and do what you have to do so we all survive?"

"I thought that's what I've been doing."

"Not that way and don't play dumb."

Xander grinned. "You do realize you're asking me this right before a battle in two days?"

"There is?"

"Yeah, there is. Including one in New York. Again."

"Crap."

"Yup. I've got one, the main house has two, one on each coast. London has one...." He smirked. "You have shit timing."

"Yeah, I do. Want to talk about this after the battle?"

"If I survive. I've got my battle with maybe two local militaries and three slayers." Tommy groaned, shaking his head. "I'm damn good but there's always a chance. If so, there's three places where I've got my warped sperm stored. You can make a next generation if I die."

"I can do that."

"It's in my safety deposit box in LA. The executor of my estate is Dawn."

"I can tell them that. Thanks, kid, and good luck. Do we know about this?"

"We warned. No one listened," he said with a shrug. "Like usual." Tommy nodded. "Sorry. The timing may be off and I did note that it was wobbling on time code but even then it'll be an extra week."

"Thanks. Really."

"At least the one in New York won't fully knock New Jersey off the coastline. It's going to try but it can't fully do it."

"Understood. Be safer than usual and we'll talk to you in the hospital."

"Sure. I like having visitors. I never get visitors." He nodded and left.

Xander woke up, blinking at the tent roof then went back to sleep. He really needed sleep before the battle, even if it was in a week.

***

Darcy looked outside the window at the loud 'bang' that went off. "Thor, we've got a huge demon stomping this way," she called. "Um, and looking right at me. Jane, move!" she shouted. "Let's go, now, people!" They ran from the building, taking Jane's research binders with her. Darcy got the others in the building out thanks to the fire alarm. The demon swatted the building to make the noise stop and while trying to grab Jane. Thor stepped in to save them so she and Jane could get away. Eric was out in the country again so it was just them heading for a shelter.

An officer pointed. "In there, ladies."

"We think it may want my boss," Darcy panted.

"Still, in there." They ran into the shelter that was underground near the Tube. The officers down there made sure they were safe but one herded them to a side area of the hallway.

"What happened?" he demanded.

Darcy shrugged. "I heard a bang, looked outside, spotted her staring our way so I got us out, pulled the alarm to get the other residents out, and then we ran. She swatted our building to get the noise I guess." She pushed her hair back. "The demon did make a grab for Jane but Thor distracted her."

"We knew you're around Thor," the officer said sarcastically. "Is she here for him?"

"No clue. She didn't say anything but she sure wanted to grab Jane."

"Why you then?" the officer demanded.

"I'm a physicist and I'm rebuilding the Rainbow Bridge."

"Oh, lord help us," he moaned, shaking his head. "Why?"

"So Thor can get home now and then to see his mom?" Darcy guessed. "So the warriors stuck down here can get home maybe?"

"I guess. Go rest, ladies." They went in to do that while he called his higher ups. It was worse than he thought - educated meddlers *and* superheros with capes. Charming!

***

Buffy was in LA and Faith had New York. Buffy's demons were all larger and making fun of the slayers as they tried to grab them to eat. The girls were really mad at the picking on their clothes. They had killed two of the demons. There were eight more but they could handle it. The military was on their way and they had agents helping them this time.

Faith looked at her demon horde, shaking her head. "Excuse me?" she demanded. "Did you just act like a teenage girl and try to diss the clothes? Even the minis are better behaved than you." The demons growled and tried to attack but the NYPD had a faster response time than the LAPD and they had people already showing up with heavier weapons to help the slayer team. She looked at the commander near her. "I don't know why we suddenly got the weak minded ones. Usually the demons that try to invade have plans and skills, not teenage girl angst."

"Don't knock it," he complained. "Smart ones would be worse and harder to kill."

"Probably true. Ladies, she thinks you're a ho. Let's get them down and out before they kick off a fault line and take out part of the city!" They rushed in to handle it.

***

Xander looked at someone at his battle. "I did warn you!" he shouted at her. "I warned you a week ago!" The battle commander quit whining. "I warned you, I warned your government, I warned your newspapers. If someone didn't tell you, then maybe you should read the papers!" He pointed. "Let's get them gone before they kill everyone? Please?" He dove back into his battle. The military units weren't helping much but it was something. "If I'm the only one fighting, you're all going to die," he shouted suddenly. That got some more help in. Not enough but some. Then the glorious rest of the military showed up and took on the two demons. Xander was injured and it wasn't going to be enough. But he'd handle it as long as he could. And then he'd be in a hospital, probably.

***

Xander woke up, blinking at the bright white room. Then at the woman standing next to the bed. "Where am I this time?" he mumbled.

"New York."

"Hey, they won," he muttered, then took a long blink. This time a new woman was standing there. "Hill, not who I wanted to wake up to."

"Tough," she said, smiling some. "Before you can ask, you won. Buffy and Faith's teams both won. There were injuries, including them and you. There are three less slayers." Xander grimaced but nodded. "There's a huge amount of complaining about the battles on the news."

"I had to yell at one that I did warn them."

"So did we when someone started. Including pointing out on the news you warned us all."

"Without my name?" he asked dryly.

"Yes, without your name." He blinked but nodded. "You're going to be in here for weeks, Harris. You have a skull fracture and they saved both your legs when she stomped on them."

He lifted the sheet to look at them then at her. "Huh."

"Good drugs?" she asked dryly.

"Could've been much worse." She huffed. "I took on two of them basically on my own, Hill. The local militaries weren't much help for at least an hour. They barely shot at them and tried to block but once one of them stepped on a tank they fell back to horrified awe setting."

"We saw. It was covered. The president of that country was on the news watching as it happened bragging about his people so they saw it as it happened. He's the one who called in better military support."

"Thank him for me. My girls?"

"Both up the hallway. You guys have this whole wing of the hospital." Xander grimaced. "You're the only guy so you get a private room."

"Thanks. Maybe it'll keep down the nagging."

"Not likely. Summers is up the hall with a broken hip but they have her in a wheelchair."

"Lock the door?"

"Nurses won't let us." She stared at him. "I'm going to give you some free advice. This is when you take a vacation."

"Yes I do. Preferably with bikinis and slutty girls who might like guys with a limp and an eyepatch."

She nodded. "I'll recommend a few beaches when you're able to go." She stared at him for a minute. "You'll be fine?"

"As long as no one breaks in here."

"We'll try to keep your ex's out."

"Then who'll fuss over me?"

"We'll keep them away from everyone else then." She walked off, going to tell Fury that he was awake and joking. She ran into a known Xander ex-girlfriend. "He's on four west," she said bluntly, staring at her. "He's tired, he's sore, he's got broken legs, and he's at the pitiful stage of pouting if you're going to see Xander."

"I am. Someone's got to rescue him from the new price on his head for being a seer." She smirked. "Thank you, Agent Hill. Have fun with your boss." She went up to baby and watch over Xander. He smiled weakly at her. "There's a new price on your head for being a seer."

"Fuck 'em, they can save themselves."

"True, they could start doing that soon. Especially since you saw another battle in a week and no one's going to be there."

"I warned 'em."

"We know, Xander." She came over to fluff his pillows and do some light fussing over him. She really should take him out since her supervisors had demanded she do that, but she liked him too much. They'd figure it out later.

***
Part 5 by Voracity2
"Fuck," Xander muttered loudly as he worked on his movement in the hallway.

The nurse scowled. "Quit swearing. You're not the worst injured in here, sir."

"They have accelerated healing. They'll be better in a few weeks. I've got months of this."

"Still. Quit swearing and some of the girls will be taking just as long."

Xander stared at her. "I was not told that. Oh, Buffster?" he called, rolling her way.

She rolled out of her hospital room. "Two of the girls are in ICU for being thrown into a building and one for being beaten by an eco sedan." He scowled. "I've been up to see them. You're barely allowed out of bed."

He nodded. "We can go visiting."

"No you cannot," the nurse said. "Council only up there."

He stared at her. "I'm the guy training the slayers in Africa. Thanks." The nurse flinched back at his glare. Buffy was laughing. He looked at her. "My girls?"

"They're better. Getting there anyway." She went with him on his rounds. The people watching over the ICU for them scowled at Xander until he glared back. Then they slowly got out of the way. They checked up on them then went back to their own rooms for medicine time and physical therapy after that. Xander found he had a visitor he somewhat recognized. He blinked at him. "I need out of here."

"Not for another two weeks," New Jersey said, staring at him. "Skull fractures can be tricky. Especially with your history of head injuries." He smirked a tiny bit. "So, how's the legs?"

"They itch." He stared at his casts then at him. "I'm going on vacation after this. Maybe even when they have to evacuate the hospital due to the attack coming up."

"We heard. It's already being handled. The US government got the point when they didn't want to listen this time." Xander grinned a tiny little look. "Into the bed. Let's check your skull. If you're a good boy we can transfer you to a hospital that's away from nagging."

"After the girls are out of here."

"That's reasonable." He helped him back onto the bed to check his skull fracture and eye. "Dizzy?"

"Some. I've had it on and off since losing that eye."

"What did that?"

"Dirty fingernail of a minion of the First Evil."

"Damn." He made note of that and nodded. "They think you need a shrink."

"I wouldn't say it's unreasonable but not really. I'm pretty normal as far as I know. Compared to some people I know I'm downright average."

New Jersey stared at him then shook his head, making notes to cancel that referral. "We'll see what we can do."

"If not, I'll talk to Buffy."

She rolled in. "They don't believe you're one of us thanks to Kennedy not identifying you when you got brought in. We were all down but the agents did it instead and they're not caring."

"Yay," he said bluntly, staring at her. "Can I beat Kennedy yet?"

"Not like you can kick butt with two broken legs, Xander."

"I have weapons, Buffy. Yes I can."

She smiled. "It's good you're peppy." She held up the newspaper. "The president where you were had a screaming fit that his people weren't helping as much. It all got covered."

"I heard he was giving an interview so the press caught it first hand this time." He stared at the paper then tossed it back. "My things?"

"Came up with you. It's all in the local house's storage area."

"Did you remember that they're moving in January?" Xander asked.

"Nope. I can figure that out for you, Xander."

"Miss Summers," a male said walking into the room. "Why are you visiting this man?"

"It's Xander," she said bluntly.

"He's not one of us."

"You're not in the Council," she said bluntly. "He's our trainer." The man sneered and pulled a gun. So Xander threw his dagger at him and hit him in the throat. Buffy looked at Xander. "Wow."

"Learned how to do that better hunting for dinner. When you're hungry you're real motivated to be a good shot. Oh, nurse," he called. "This imposter tried to tell me I didn't have a job." Security teams came in. Xander rolled over and grabbed his knife before it could disappear then went back to his bed with a grin for Buffy. "So, how's my slayers?"

"They're good. Fussing. The minis have all called to make sure we know that we're not to nag you or anything while you're healing. Most of the battles went pretty worldwide." She looked at the glaring security guard. "That guy is not Council. Giles wouldn't hire him because he's one of the ones that used to kidnap us girls from our families. Xander," she said with a point. "Is our off-site trainer for the minis in Africa. He threatened me and him. Xander was protecting me. Blow it out your butt if you don't like it." The guard got officers, who found the guy's old ID. Buffy was calling Willow, who sent Giles up. Giles got it all straightened out within a few minutes.

Giles stared at Xander. "Did you have to make the hospital more work?"

"He threatened me and her with a gun," Xander said bluntly. "Let him go fuck the hell off while I do the real work."

Giles grimaced. "I'm hoping it's the skull fracture that's making you so irritable?"

Xander snorted. "Not really. When are the other watchers going to go into the field with the slayers? I'm pretty sure they can all at least fire guns by now. Where were they when this was going on?"

Giles grimaced. "They were hiding with the library and things."

"Uh-huh. And yet, Dawn was at one." Buffy growled. Xander patted her on the arm. "I had mine. There were two others, plus London's. If even Dawn fell in, then why couldn't they?"

"They're not comfortable with it."

"Then you need to hire more field guys, Giles. I'm not going to be fit to go out again for at least six months. That leaves Africa totally uncovered because Yihana's watcher is one of them, even though he can fight. He refused to show up at mine with his slayer."

"I'll talk to them, Xander. Please calm yourself? It can't be good for you."

Xander stared at him. "I'm going on vacation to finish healing. Am I going to have to call up monthly like usual about my paycheck?"

"No, I'll straighten her out again as well, when I yell at Kennedy." He blinked. "There's others in the field."

"Who all need more backing up," Buffy said. "They complain a lot. That's why you talk to Xander more often than you do them, he doesn't whine about needing more help."

"So he is Council?" one of the nurses demanded.

"Yeah," Buffy said with a smirk. "He's the guy that was backing me up in Sunnydale, part of the original team. I wouldn't even have Willow around if it wasn't for him." Xander nodded. "You guys treat him worse than we do. Which sucks."

"That other slayer...."

"Kennedy didn't warn London it was having a battle," Xander said. "She hates me because her girlfriend used to crush on me and Kennedy's a money-grubbing princess." The nurse grimaced. "She's from somewhere around here." He looked at Buffy. "I'm going to see bikinis."

"We'll listen for evil chicks to want you," she quipped.

He stared at her. "Maybe if you found some of your own...."

"Eww. I'm not in the mood to date, Xander. Even if they brought Angel back and he was all human and without the soul clause, I'm not in the mood."

He gave her a pointed look. "Do we have to tell you to tell your mom I said hi?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head. "Not there yet. Tired but not that tired." She looked at him. "You?"

"Battle worn. Cranky. Not there."

She nodded. "Well, the first one of us that sees my mom, we can tell her we said hi." He nodded. She looked at the staring watcher. "It's not like we don't see the majority of work. Faith, me, him, and a few of the girls. We're all tired, Giles." Xander nodded. "It's practical in this case. It's how we check on each other's levels of bad."

"There's therapists you can talk to," New Jersey said.

Buffy grimaced. "They think we're crazy for doing our appointed duty. Or for Xander doing it because they took his best friend since babyhood. No thanks." She smiled at him. "I've seen you on Willow's posters."

"I'm a neurologist when I'm not playing keyboards," he said with a smile.

"Cool. Do I need to see you too? Or are you crushing on Xander?"

"No. I'm here to check on Xander's skull fracture for his doctor." She nodded and rolled off with Giles following her. He looked at Xander. "You live a wild, dangerous life."

"Yes I do." He looked at the agent leaning in. "Agent Romanoff. Gloria!" He grinned at her. "You're better?"

"I'm a whole lot better." She stepped over the body and came in to hug him. "You're my favorite Council person of all of them." He cuddled her. She pulled back. "How long are you in here for?"

"Weeks and weeks," he said dryly. "Then I'm heading for a lot of bikinis who will hopefully take pity on my poor eyepatch."

She snorted. "I'm sure there's some who will pity you for the broken legs instead." She gave him a squeeze, making him moan. "I'm doing slayer visiting rounds after knocking Kennedy out again."

"She told the nurses I wasn't Council," Xander said. "I'd like to hit her next."

"You'll have to wait until she gets her nose fixed with plastic surgery." She winked at him and strolled off. "Guys, why is the asshole who kidnaped two of us from our families dying on Xander's floor? I'm pretty sure that even if you sacrifice him it won't make him heal faster." She walked up the hall.

Agent Romanoff stared at Xander. "Are you well?"

"Well enough. Broken legs. Minor skull fracture." New Jersey shook his head. "It's not?"

"No, it's healed a lot but it's not *minor*. They can see your brain with the naked eye, that means it's serious. It's not huge but it's not minor."

"So I'm not Humpty Dumpty this time," Xander said dryly with a grin for him.

"No, we put you back together again this time." He gave him a pointed look.

Xander nodded. He looked at her. "You know there's another one, right?"

"We heard," she admitted. "Then swore at you for having visions."

"You'd rather wake up from a nap to them?"

"No. Waking up from my rest to a sudden battle without warning would not be a good thing." He grinned. "Thank you, Xander." She walked off.

The officer pointed at her, looking at Xander. "That's the lady that works with the Avengers."

"And guarded the main house when the HYDRA BS went off," Xander agreed. "She's a great fighter and the girls could learn a lot from her."

"Huh." He frowned. "So you are Council?" Xander nodded. "Oh. It's not in your wallet."

"Then someone took my ID card out."

"Damn."

"Was the money and things in there?"

"Yes."

"Then it's someone who wants to discredit us. I'll figure that out and take them out too." He gave him a pointed look. "We didn't rehire them because they were kinda dicks to the girls. They think the girls should be trained chimps to their wills. Two of them tried to keep knocking up their young teen slayer trainees before the First Evil got them." The officer nodded. "I'm not sure which one he was but if Gloria said he stole them, then she'd know as she's one of the top slayers in the world right now."

"Got it, sir. Feel better soon." They cleaned up the mess and took the guy down to the jail infirmary ward instead of the regular ER.

Xander looked at the nurse, who huffed off. He looked at New Jersey. "Got a good beach recommendation?"

"There's a few really nice ones in the world but it's not spring break so not a lot of partying."

"I don't really drink and I can't stand drunks," Xander said. "I'm okay with missing the drunk party girls. I'd like easy but not that easy."

"I'll make a list for when I check on you in three days."

"Sure. Thanks."

"Welcome, kid." He patted him on the leg. "Maybe you can get out sooner."

"They'll have to evacuate part of the city anyway," he said dryly. New Jersey winced but went to make note of that prophecy thing. Xander relaxed and turned on his tv to see what was going on in the world. He called Buffy's room. "Kennedy's on CNN." He hung up.

On screen, they were taking calls in and Giles called in to berate her for being a bad slayer. The anchor winced at his ranting about her lacking slayer grace and skills. Willow suddenly appeared to defend her but Giles yelled at her too, mostly on the girls' behalf. And a tiny bit about her treatment of him. Willow pouted but she took her and Kennedy away from there. It was good tv. They went to a 'who is that guy' feature on him thanks to that battle and the nagging that had went on. They still didn't know a lot. Thankfully someone had an agent contact for information and they could find his federal profile. They even refused to mention he was a seer. That was nice of them. Xander napped to that happy news.

***

Xander and the slayers were on the roof with weapons when the next thing happened. Buffy was able to walk and getting out later that day but she was still there with a few others. The demon appeared and tried to stomp off to kill Stark but they fired on her and gave that team time to assemble and handle it.

The demon sneered at them. "You'll still lose him. He'll take up his heritage someday."

"I'm more likely to become an avatar of someone," Xander quipped with a grin. "Just to handle shit that I'm alone for." He fired something off, hitting her in the eye. She screamed and grabbed her head, knocking a water tower over in her flailing. The Avengers got her down and out a few minutes later. All the slayers were staring at him. "Mermaid taint." He grinned at the easily accepted lie. "So I'd get to go harass bikini-clad women and eat the bad ones who're too drunk." He rolled off. They groaned but followed back downstairs. Xander stretched up and looked at them. "We all going home?" They nodded. "Good. I'll go from Cleveland to a beach somewhere. As long as someone got my stuff from the local house?"

"Yup," Buffy called from her room. "It's in your room. They saw it when they were moving stuff and sent it, Xander."

"Thanks." They got checked out against orders and headed for a ride to the airport.

Stark landed in front of them outside, staring at them. "Mermaid what?" he demanded of Xander.

"Our high school's swim team was turning black and slimy then eating people. We needed to know why," Xander said with a shrug. Then he grinned. "I went undercover on it and found out the old coach had been chopping up mermaid parts to put into the sauna and special meals. Thankfully they mostly detoxed me before I became black and slimy too."

Stark put up his face shield, staring at him. "How do you get into those things?"

"Sunnydale. Aren't you glad it's destroyed?" Buffy quipped with a smile for him.

"Yes!" Stark said. He looked at Xander again. "Where do you think you're going? You're still injured."

"There's a beach somewhere calling my name. I'm going to go there, admiring the booby scenery, get some pity cuddles...." He waved a hand. "Have some fun. Have a real vacation since the first one after graduation's battle." He waved the same hand again, giving him an insane grin. "I *really* need one."

"Uh-huh. And the casts?"

Xander looked then shrugged. "They'll come off soon." The girls all stared at him. "I can remove casts, ladies. I did the last one I had." He looked at Stark again with a grin. "I'm a good boy most of the time."

"If you're sure because we think you're just slightly insane."

"I don't have a cape," Xander quipped. "Or a shiny suit. But I do what I gotta do. The same as you do. You just get paid better for it and I get whined at when I do it. Speaking of, is there a law defending us if we beat the people who complain about us saving them?"

"I wish," Stark said. "We'd all like one. Especially Bruce."

Xander nodded. "I met him at a native clinic." He nodded at the van driver. "Ladies." He pointed. They piled in and he stood up with a moan and a wince, hobbling over. "I'll be doing insane things in a few months."

"If you're certain," Stark said dryly. "Can you fly with a skull fracture?"

Xander shrugged. "Don't know. If it causes problems maybe they'll stop the visions." He closed the van door after himself and they drove off to the airport. There were agents there but Xander got out first to glare at them. "Problems?" he demanded coolly.

"You can't fly with a skull fracture, Mr. Harris, and two of the other slayers can't fly due to their injuries," one of them said. "We can arrange for the train to take you to Cleveland." He called that in. "Frankly, we were going to evacuate you from the city since there's a huge screaming fit about the slayers need to handle these things instead and they don't need more heros handling problems."

"I pity Stark then," he said. "Sure, I can take the train as long as I can put my feet up."

"Thank you for being reasonable. The last few slayers in the hospital are getting guards to make sure they're fine. We have done a heavier background check to make sure they weren't part of that crackhead plan that got the battle in England." Buffy smiled at him. "If we find they are and we missed it, we'll take them out ourselves. Mr. Harris, while you're on the train can you please brief an agent about your last three battles so we have that information as well?"

He shrugged, grimacing. "I guess. What don't you know about?"

"Anything apparently. We had no idea there was one in Nigeria?"

"That's been a while ago," he said. "You said three and that's not three." They groaned. "But sure, we can go over that. Thank you for not asking Gloria about that."

"Agent Romanoff will not let a single agent near her. Which we appreciate the reasons for. That slayer is quite good and taking a lot of training with her." Xander smiled. "We can chat on the train. We've gotten your group two sleeping berths. One for the girls to rest in and one for you." He got them to the train station and got on with them to ask Xander about his battles. The girls tried to eavesdrop but they were nosy that way sometimes. The others had a few agents making sure they made it back to the main house in Cleveland. The last few in the city had been moved to a more private, secure hospital facility.

The agents were even nice enough to make Xander's later travel plans for him to a beach in Florida so he could go have bikinis until he was allowed to fly in three weeks.

***

Buffy opened the door the next morning. "Get out of the way. Bus is here!" she bellowed. The girls ran out the door and for the bus. The agent had gotten out of the way so she smiled for his tiny bit of sense. "Problems?"

"I wanted to talk to Mr. Harris about a few battles he had that we didn't know about."

"He doesn't tell us either. We'd nag." She let him inside and back to the kitchen. "Andrew, where's Xander?"

"Showering." He looked at the agent. "You missed breakfast and all we have left is tea making supplies."

"I'm fine, thank you, Mr. Wells. Is your lead hunter slightly insane or is it a true infection?" Buffy and Andrew both burst out laughing.

Giles looked over from reading the paper. "Xander said things happened around him so he handled it. Though he has said in the past he used to want to be Batman."

"I need to make Xander more gear," Andrew decided with a grin for the agent.

"If you wish but can you do so after you turn off your nanites please, Mr. Wells? It is a bit creepy."

"Probably. I think I remembered to put in some code to turn them off." He walked off to find his laptop to see. "Buffy, one of the girls gave my laptop with that stuff a virus thanks to their porn habit."

"Great. Tell me which one."

"It's cheerleader humiliation and jocks begging so it's Thelma."

"I'll get on her again later about using her own laptop instead of yours, Andrew. What're nanites?"

"Miniature computer bugs that can take over or help a body," the agent said. "In some uses it can be used medically to take out tumors. In some it can be used to control agents so they confess to things. Though that does explain why some of the infected do burst out in film-worthy moans for no reason now and then I suppose."

"Did it make them lie?" she asked. He shook his head. "So Andrew was very helpy." She grinned. "We like Andrew being helpy." She walked off. "Xander, an agent's here to chew you a new one about the battles you didn't tell us you had because we'd nag you or tie you in a closet again!"

"He can wait while I do an eye wash and put on clothes," floated down the stairs.

"Okay." She smiled back toward the kitchen. "He's cleaning his eye socket and getting dressed."

"That's fine. The only thing I have to do today is finish his debriefing since the agents who did so weren't very clear about some things he disclosed." He smiled at her.

She giggled as she walked off. "Sounds like him so we can't nag."

"We don't wish to nag him but we do wish he'd at least tell *us* this so we can handle any future diplomatic problems." Xander came slowly down the stairs. "Mr. Harris, are you psychologically unstable?"

He stared at the guy for a minute. "You realize you're catching me before coffee or anything like breakfast? That you're asking me stupid questions that make me want to beat the crap out of people?" The agent winced and got out of his way. He hopped in on his crutches. "Andrew, did you save me anything?"

"One small plate," he said, pulling it out to warm up and feed him. "That way you don't bite me too."

Xander grinned. "I'd never bite you. I'm not a vampire and I'm looking forward to your next 'create your own apocalypse' plan box." He settled in to eat and have soda. He looked at the agent. "Which one did you want to hear about?"

"Slovenia?"

Xander shook his head. "Never been there." He ate another bite. "That's in Europe, right?" he asked. The agent nodded. "Then never been there unless they displaced it to Africa." He ate another bite, staring at him.

"We had a hunter matching your description there. Though they didn't mention the eye patch." Xander nodded, eating another bite. "A recent injury?"

"He lost it before Sunnydale fell in," Andrew said. "The minion popped it."

"Oh, I see." He made that note. He looked at him. "Nigeria?" Xander quirked up his bad eyebrow while he chewed. "Is that going to cause later problems?"

He shrugged. "They had one of the slayers captive. If it does, they're going to get it again." He ate another bite then smiled while he chewed. "I was brilliant getting the local demon community into it. They helped rescue some of the others that had been kidnaped."

The agent nodded, making note of it. "The slayer involved?"

"Gloria's with that nice Agent Romanoff lady," Buffy said with a grin for Xander. "She's an excellent role model."

"I like Gloria to some day take over a house," he said. "Including this one. That meant she needed someone with more command experience to model her skills after. She's really nice to help her that way."

Buffy nodded. "I can see Gloria taking over mine or Faith's jobs some year." She looked at the agent. "Gloria spent *tons* of time in the infirmary after that and then a special healing spa. We all fussed very well over her."

The agent nodded. "We can appreciate that. We're worried about later diplomatic problems."

Xander looked at him. "With the terrorist squad? Since when are they *diplomatic*?"

"Point. It was them?"

"Yup," he said. "They decided Gloria was 'exotic' for being a white girl in that area."

"Oh, dear." He made that note. "Did we perhaps find out anything about them?"

"No, I had the local demon community help by taking out a huge amount of trees to find them and anything they found they turned over with the girls they rescued. You'd have to ask the locals. My only concern was Gloria and then any other captives I might find." He stared at him. "Then I reminded them that they had to fight for themselves because we weren't going to save them when the demons showed up. Which was when the local community broke in to rescue the others." He grinned. "They've all had enough of that group down there. All but one minister on the news thanked them for it. The other one decided Satan had sent them because that group had went too far even for his viewpoint."

"I saw that report." He frowned as he made notes. "Have there been other rescues?"

Xander nodded. "Two. Both from less harmful groups. Why?" He finished his breakfast, taking more soda from Andrew. "Thank you for saving me some, 'Drew."

"Welcome," he chirped. "Do you really need to know how Xander got things from the pirates and stuff? It's on the demon hunter bulletin boards." He smiled at Buffy. "Yours lists the color of your panties again. They said you're too old to be a party girl so wear better and more classy clothes." She rolled her eyes, making herself and Giles some tea.

"There's online sources by demons?" the agent asked. They all nodded, looking amused. "Can we get web addresses? That way we don't have to come bother anyone for reports?"

Buffy got him into the ones she used, letting him note the addresses. He left to tell his higher ups that. She looked at Xander. "Where are you heading on vacation?"

"Florida. Then to the Caribbean after I can fly." He grinned. "Bikinis."

"Bikinis are nice," she said. "I love mine." She looked at Giles.

"If you wanted to take a vacation, arrange the schedule," Giles reminded her. "We're relatively near Virginia's beaches." He stared at her. "You can go during the summer slowdown like the others can. We can have a discreet vacation session down there." She beamed and nodded, typing out an all slayer message about a slayer vacation spread.

"It'd definitely give everyone a reason to win the next apocalypse this spring," Xander quipped. "Speaking of, I haven't had a vision."

Andrew stared at him. "That's weird." Xander nodded. "Head injury you think?"

"I don't know," he admitted. He looked at Giles, who shrugged. "It could be lesser or it could be sudden I guess."

"We'll be on alert from solstice on, Xander. That way we're not caught off-guard again." Xander nodded, relaxing again. "I really would like to know about some of those incidences myself."

"You can use the web portal too," Xander quipped. He got up and hopped off. "Let me finish packing since my plane leaves in two hours." He did that and escaped while Giles was still registering on that site. His phone rang while he was in the security line. "That will not save you from me yelling about a few of those, Xander. We shall talk when you get back," he read. "Yup, he's still in the early days." He turned off his phone. If it was important, Andrew could remotely turn it back on for him so Giles could scream.

By the time he got to Florida, his phone had two voicemails, both threatening him for ever daring to do such things. He called up there. "Buffy, tell him to take a tylenol and a nap. If he's not past Sova's little incident with the incubus, he'll need a nap. No, I'm in Florida." He grinned at the security guard staring at him. "Yeah, that incident. Did he take a nap? Because the first battle was right after that and he's going to scream. A lot. Thanks. No, I'm turning it off so you and he can't nag." He hung up and pulled out his ID when the security guy strolled over. "Giles just read some of the stuff I left out of reports while I was training in Africa."

"Oh, you're one of them."

"Yup, and I'm on vacation to heal," he said with a smile. He hopped off, going to grab his backpack and other bag, hopping off to get a cab. Thankfully the local flights didn't go as high so he didn't have that sort of problem from the head injury.

***

Xander finally called Giles' phone after the too calm sounding 'Xander, you had better call me tonight' message he got the next morning. "Giles, how close to Burkina Faso or Tanzania?" He listened to the 'I've gotten past both of those' and winced. "You did it without a nap? Wow. Are you okay?" Giles said something in that same too calm voice. "Giles, what did you expect me to do with only two slayers over the age of puberty at the time of Burkina Faso? Someone had to handle it and the locals were just panicking."

He listened. "Yeah, so I really do deserve the vacation, right?" He grinned at the 'yes, take extra time'. "As long as I don't come back to nagging from the top two or three, Giles." He heard the tiredness. "Giles, go take a nap. That's why I suggested that break before you got into the big rush of battles that year. How far have you gotten?" He winced at the 'to the current moment' one. "Wow. Yeah, you could use a nap, Giles. Trust me, it'll get better. Now people come searching for us when things happen instead of panicking and then coming to find us to fix what they aggravated." He listened.

"I'm going to spend my first day on the beach and hopefully find someone pretty to flirt with. Why?" He listened. "Sure, I can do that. Hey, if it'll help. Just don't get me nagged. Okay?" He heard the 'I wouldn't tell them, they won't believe me' answer. "Which is why I never told you. Exactly. Hey, bonus pay?" he quipped at the displeased grunt. "Since I didn't get hazard pay? Evil girls are expensive, Giles. They only want the best of everything and this way I can at least treat them to dinner." He grinned at the sigh. "Have a good rest, Giles. Just...nap it off and it'll seem more sane when you wake up. Like Sunnydale does in hindsight." He hung up and went to the beach before anyone else found him to nag. Willow could probably track him somehow so he wanted to be around people that might dilute the huffy girl fit, or at least help him hide from her.

Thankfully that site hadn't had an account of everything. There were plenty of places in Africa that smartphones wouldn't work.

***

Xander made it to the better beach place and sighed in pleasure as he walked out. He had taken his casts off about two days prior, they were healed enough for him to stand on, barely, and they were hindering him getting a good bad girl to flirt with. Though he had gotten a few pity sexing ups. That had been nice. They had even bought dinner for them both instead of insisting he should. He walked out onto the beach on his crutches, just in case he needed them, and settled into a chair with a sigh of relief. He checked his phone then put it into the bag. He had sent messages when he had gotten here and hadn't heard anything. So hopefully there wasn't a huge issue that had kept everyone from writing him back or he wasn't fired or something. He stretched out in the sun, smiling at the woman staring his way. "I need to tan where the casts were."

"We can tell, boy."

Xander grinned. "My name's Xander."

"You're adorably stupid," she said.

He smirked. "I know your ex-husband, Phyllis." She gaped. He stared at her over the edge of his sunglasses, still grinning. "I'm *that* Xander."

"Oh. I saw the thing in New York. No wonder you had casts."

"I was handling the one in Africa but yeah, same basic reason." He shrugged and shifted. "I won't flirt with you. Alan would hate me."

"Thank you for not even trying."

He smirked. "I'm looking for an evil goddess sort. You're too sensible according to him." She snorted but smirked at him before turning back around. Xander popped his neck by rolling it back and forth a few times. Then he sighed in pleasure again. His phone chirped one message so he pulled it out of his beach kit to look at it.

//Giles said he's ignoring you exist because agents have found that same site and so have the slayers. If he doesn't know where you are, he has plausible deniability. He said to have fun and find a good girl to keep you for an extra week. That way no one has to admit you exist to agents, reporters, or stupid people who are protesting that you're normal and doing the same job the girls are.//

"I like Andrew." He sent back a message and put his phone away again, getting comfortable again.

A male strolled over. "You shouldn't be flying for another two weeks," he said quietly.

Xander opened an eye to look at his neurologist. "I'm down here looking for an evil goddess sort to flirt with. There weren't any in Florida that were handily available." He grinned. "Also, puddle jumper so not as high, and not a problem beyond my ears popping really hard. But thanks for worrying. I don't want to interrupt your vacation too."

"You're not. The whole band is having one up the road."

"Well, I'm only here until I pick up a nice evil one to flirt with. Then I'll probably be too busy to be noted." He grinned. "Giles hopes so anyway."

New Jersey nodded as he walked off. He went to tell Buckaroo he was there. So was Darcy as it happened. Jane had sent her on a vacation since she was so stressed. He noted her to the group and sent her at Xander. Who flirted with her to make her giggle. All the guys in the know about their special blood histories watched in interest as a slightly weird looking woman showed up to flirt with Xander. Who Darcy quipped about. She got her brother, who again looked just slightly off human normal. That gave Darcy someone to flirt with too. The band members all sighed in unison over the bad girl thing going on over there. Poor guy. And poor Darcy.

Hell gods weren't good for a body.

***

Darcy showed up at the end of her vacation back at Avengers tower. She ran into Thor first, smiling and hugging him. "Big guy, is it a huge problem for you if my vacation flirting led to a few gods?"

"Like other Asgardians?" he asked.

"No. Like from other realms. They were always nice, and the only one that wasn't polite because I told him he couldn't have my boobs, well he didn't like the taser and Xander used something we tripped into with another person on him and his twin sister." She let the frown clear up. She smiled at him again.

"Who did you run into?" he asked, staring down at her. She pulled out the notes Xander had made her so she could look them up for later dinners if she wanted to. He read the notes, staring at it oddly. "They're from known hell realms."

"Yeah but some hell realms are that way because they're missing stuff. Like one has no music. Though not a great choice of representation since they take humans in as slaves and call them cows, but one has no seafood. One has no dancing. For some that's hell."

Thor looked at her. "Come, Darcy. We'll find out why such as them wanted to get intimate with you."

"Mostly they really wanted Xander but it was nice they brought people for me to flirt with. Including some really nice guardian knight sorts." Thor just nodded, taking her to Jane so they could disinfect her and get her straightened out. "Jane!" she chirped, giving her a hug. "I met a few very nice demonic knights that were guarding the hell gods that wanted to date Xander."

"Xander?" Jane asked.

"That Council guy," Darcy prompted. "He was down there healing his broken legs and to get his flirt on. And I guess when he fell into the hole with the cursed treasure with the other group's head guy that was about usual for them."

Jane turned to look at her. "What?" Thor shared the note. She looked at Darcy. "So you met a hell god?"

"I met like six. They wanted to flirt with Xander. A few brought their brothers to flirt with me and a few just handed over their security forces for me to flirt with. They were really sweet. Only one couldn't take 'no touching the boobs' and Xander dealt with him after I tazed him."

"Uh-huh. Did any of them touch you in the wrong way?"

"No! None asked for anything. Not a kiss, not a grope, not a soul fraction, nothing. They were just flirting." She grinned. "Xander got majorly tickled that they came to flirt with him because his ex-fiancee had told them how good he was in bed. Apparently she wanted a lot of sex and he willingly gave it over." She grinned. "Not that I asked Xander for a demonstration. The night we got a bit tipsy in the club he fell into some cursed buried treasure with another guy and I got escorted properly back to my room by one of the knights while the others helped pull them out of the cavern. They were really gentlemanly. I wish I'd get some guys like that." She shrugged and grinned. "But I'm back, well rested, and all perkied up."

"I can see that. You're happy that demons treated you better than some of your dates."

"They did. They were really sweet to me."

"Good. That's great. Let's go have lunch," Jane suggested. She gave Thor an eye-order to go find Stark and take the note to him. Jane hoped it wasn't a poisoning from a scale or something. She didn't know anyone who had studied demon poisons.

Thor took the note to Stark's lab once the ladies were on the elevators. "Lady Darcy's back, Stark."

"That's good," he said absently. "How was her vacation?"

"The demon lords and their guardians treated her very nicely when they came to flirt. Better than some men she's met according to her. Only one tried to grope and the rest didn't wish to." Stark dropped his wrench and spun to look at him. He handed over the note. "There was also mention of cursed buried treasure."

Stark stared at the note then at him. "Any of them that might show up to take her?"

"She said none asked anything of her outside one that refused to take 'no' when he tried to grope her chest." Thor grimaced. "Jane is presently feeding her."

"That's a great thing. We can disinfect her or whatever. Holy water her to normal Darcy behavior." He went with Thor upstairs after calling on Bruce to come help.

Bruce took the note. "I remember her. She showed up to talk to one of her guardian's spawn as she called it." He grinned at Darcy. "She seemed to really care how the kid was doing."

"They were all really sweet. Their guards they let flirt with me were really respectful. Only one of the hell gods tried to grope and Xander got him since I couldn't use my taser in the water after he ran there to get away from the first zap." She sipped her tea with a smile for them. "I'm fine, people. Just happy from my vacation in the Carribean. Though I need to borrow a safe, Stark. Xander let me have some of the stuff he fell into one of the times. It's girl jewelry and he can't play favorites by giving it to a slayer. The others would complain."

Stark nodded slowly. "As long as it's not evil and going to infect anything."

"I don't think so." She looked in her bag, pulling out that mini bag to toss onto the counter. "I won the rubies at strip poker. Then I cleaned them because they were his penis jewelry. The diamond choker is supposed to be cursed but not unless you're wearing it. The other one was just in the same area."

Stark looked in there, taking an oven mitt to pick up the jewelry to look at. "Sure, I can clear out a safe once we make sure it's all cleaned up and not radiating. JARVIS, find me an expert on buried treasure, specifically cursed stuff."

"There's two in the city, Sir, and one shall be here this afternoon at two."

"Thank you." He looked at her. "Maybe we should do some holy water, Lewis?"

She smirked. "They did that at one of the demon clubs. I got kidnaped for twenty minutes by one of the younger bodyguarding demons. He wanted to show up his boss's slutty girlfriend and the demon bar was having a wet t-shirt contest. I was his entry and he apologized a lot when Xander found me. Then again, I had won and his boss's girlfriend was pouty and snotty about losing to a human who only had two breasts since she had three but they were tiny mouthful sorts." She grinned at Jane. "I beat out a breeder demon who had just whelped. She had eight that were milk-full."

Jane just nodded. "We can holy water you down again, Darcy. Just in case." They led Darcy off to do that, letting Jane do the actual wetting down with Thor nearby in case she reacted the wrong way. The cursed jewelry expert was very happy to see her collection from Xander and told her where they had come from so she'd know and how much they were worth. She could pay off her student loans finally if she sold some. So she sold one that was just a pretty normal thing to do that. He was pleased and Stark was ready to drink for whole new reasons by the time he was done.

***

Xander walked into the main slayer house. "I'm back. Andrew, there's a small police department in Jamaica that wants to beat you to death for your 'so you need an apocalypse' set with the demonic ritual. They said they thought it was a joke until it worked and the demon showed up to love on them. The local police were not amused." He tossed presents to Buffy, Faith, and Willow when he ran into them, two reports to Giles as he walked past him, and then handed Andrew a small bag from his. "The demon said thank you for thinking of him and he really did like the remains of the cookies you sent me." He winked and strolled out back, letting one of the flirty ones take him back to his routine in Africa.

Giles walked into the kitchen, staring at Andrew. "I thought those were joke items?"

"Um...no, I'm recruiting for my future geek legion of evil." He smiled.

Giles stared at him. "We'll discuss that later, Andrew. Where is Xander?"

"He got taken off by a demon. She was all flirty dressed too."

"I see." Giles looked at the reports and sighed. "That boy is going to drive me to drink more than Buffy dating did," he muttered as he walked off again. "Who is Darcy Lewis?" he asked out loud.

"The pretty brunette that helps Jane Foster," Buffy said.

"Me?" Faith asked.

"No, the one that came with Jane, the other pretty busty brunette at the thing in England, Faith. What did he give you?" She showed her. "Ooooh. Pretty." She showed off her own present.

"That's sweet," Faith agreed. "It'd look better on your skinnier and shorter body than mine would." They looked at Willow, who held up a pretty pendant. "That's pretty."

"It is," she agreed with a smile. "I'm wondering how Xander afforded it."

"Either it came from when he stumbled into a cave of buried treasure or from the demon poker game," Giles said without looking at them. He sighed. "Miss Lewis apparently won a breeder's courting set." The slayers giggled but blushed. "Indeed. I hope she cleaned it very well." He went back to his office to have a drink or three. Xander did drive him so batty at times.

Andrew had Darcy's contact information so he sent her a text message making sure she knew how to clean those jewels. And that they were often family jewels so someone might ask to buy them off her.

***

Bruce looked at Darcy that night. "I looked up that species to see how those were worn." She nodded, chewing her sandwich. "Interesting that they're worn genitally."

"They're courting sets. You put one on like we put on push-up bras and lacy panties." She smiled at him. "Their penises are about the same only they have a pointy head instead of a rounder one and theirs seem to inflate most of the way down, leaving a ring around the base that they wear the bigger jeweled piece, kinda how we wear cockrings. Then they twirl the dual sets around their balls, which there's three of so they wind between them, then back to the cover/plug part, that meets up with the waist in the back. Some have more dangling. I didn't look or anything but the nice knights kinda put me there to safely give me something to do while they helped their goddess boss rescue Xander from the cursed buried treasure cavern he had tripped into by himself.

"That was the third falling into buried stuff moment. Apparently whoever cursed it wanted to keep Xander and she was not a happy goddess who wanted him to prove to her that Anya wasn't just bragging for points." She ate another bite. "So we played strip poker," she said once she had swallowed. "Though it was nice his girlfriend appreciated him without the jewelry. She said it always got in her way and rubbed her wrong." She shrugged and grinned as she ate another bite.

"That's really weird," Bruce said.

"It was pretty. Drew the eye nicely." She shrugged. "Different strokes for different folks. The other one playing had all sorts of fringe looking chains on his. They flowed up to the chains in his pointed ears. I only lost a shirt and I had shown more tits on the beach in my bikini top. Which is why the one wanted me to win the wet t-shirt contest to show up his boss's girlfriend." She ate the last bite of her sandwich.

"You live a much more wild life than I do, Darcy."

She grinned and swallowed. "You could get out there and fool around. There's no rule that says you can't. Plenty of girls wouldn't care about your other side and there's a few who might like to pet him to keep him calm too." Bruce walked off blushing. She grinned at her good work and made a second sandwich to take to her room. Before someone else got the idea to make her take a holy water shower.

***

In New Jersey, two of the top three of the band were looking at the other one. "Are you *sure* you're not related to either of them, Buckaroo?" Tommy asked. "I mean, only you and the kid could be wandering and *fall* into a buried treasure."

"Thankfully they're used to us there and already had the forms on file. They said they pulled them out when they heard we landed," New Jersey said, staring at his boss and friend. Buckaroo shrugged but got some water to sip. "Though it was nice that Darcy was so helpful and kind to them."

"It was," Tommy agreed. "Still a bit freaky that she won the wet t-shirt contest over ones with bigger, and more, breasts." He walked off shaking his head. "I need someone to pull blood on those two to make sure they're not Buckaroo's kids."

"I don't have kids," Buckaroo complained. "And I'm not half as bad as Harris."

"Uh-huh. That's because you're not a warrior," Tommy shot back.

Buckaroo looked at the others, who were carefully not watching the fight. "It's cool, guys."

"Not likely," one quipped. "That kid's back in Africa and ran into another temple. He had to go in to get the hostages out. The news reports said that the dark goddess demanded sex for their rescue so she's presently squealing worse than Penny does to you on your anniversary."

Buckaroo walked off shaking his head but smiling. He hadn't seen Penny in a few weeks. Maybe she'd be happy to be cuddled tonight?

New Jersey looked at the feed over that Hong Kong Cavalier's shoulder, sighing in disgust. "Even when I was his age I couldn't do that." They showed the hostages coming out and Xander following being a bit sweaty but otherwise okay. Then he took some water from a waiting priest to drink as he went to his truck. The goddess came out and flopped down in front of her temple, pouting at the priest about him not staying with her.

The rest of the guys just sighed and listened for Penny to get squeal happy with Buckaroo.

***

Stark looked up as Pepper put a printed page in front of him before walking off laughing. He looked at the printed page. "Apocalypse in a box," he read. He blinked a few times. "And that's a nice sounding company to look up." He did that. "The guy with the Council who may be sane," he said as he looked that company over. He got into their other offerings. He read the reviews. Including the three that said they had gotten it to work but the local cops had stopped them. "Interesting."

The other products had the same sort of notes. Including one that was in limited quantities because they were being pulled from the shelves. He looked up why and found the nice news story about the demon taking cookies to disappear after being summoned to take over the world with the summoner. "Uh-huh." He stared at it until someone walked into his lab. He looked at the redheaded woman. "I'm going to have to save the world again, right?"

She took the product page to look at then looked at the news story on his screen. "Interesting. Yes, you may have to." She got onto the demon information pages to look Andrew up. "Ah, he used to be part of an evil geek trio but he reformed after the other two were killed."

He looked it over, then up at her. "So should we worry or not?"

She shrugged. "We probably should. It says that the other two were nearly there." She walked off with that page to show to the others. She handed it to Steve as she walked past him.

He read it. "Is it a serious thing or a joke present?" he asked her.

"Serious. Someone tried and nearly managed it with a different kit. Thankfully the demon wanted his cookies instead."

"Sure," he sighed. He looked it up using google. The reviews weren't great but enlightening. "Who is this guy?" he asked when Natasha walked past him again with some water.

"He's the housemother at the Council. He used to be part of a trio of geeks who wanted to take over the world."

Clint leaned out of the media room. "Andrew Wells put out a new kit?"

"One that let a demon up but it wanted cookies," Natasha said with a smile. "How do you know of them?"

"Bermuda didn't happen the way it had started to happen," Clint said dryly. "And don't ask me what didn't happen because you'll only get it out of me when I'm really drunk." He went back to his tv watching.

Steve blinked at Natasha. "Should we worry?"

"Only if they get one to work." She sipped her water.

He groaned, going back to the products. "We should tell Coulson." He smiled a bit. "That's more of an administrative issue instead of ours."

"Perhaps," she agreed. "If I see him I'm going to finish our discussion."

"I'll send it to him," Steve promised, going to the computer to look that up on Amazon. Then he sent the link to Coulson's email address.

***

On the special response plane, Skye saw the email pop up. "Coulson, email from Captain America's personal account."

He came out to read it, staring at the short note and link. He went to the link, nodding at what he saw. "That does not surprise me." He walked off looking those up. "Interesting history Mr. Wells has."

Agent May came out of the pilot's area, staring at him. "What?"

"Andrew Wells put out an apocalypse in a box set." He looked at her.

She sighed. "Gag gift," she said, walking off.

"Not exactly. Apparently Jamaica nearly fell but the demon took cookies to go away."

Agent May sighed as she walked off. "Of course it took cookies. We'll have to stock some in case we run into another one. Like we do with holy water."

He nodded. "It would be nice to have anyway." He went to his office to make plans. He shared that information with Agent Hill. She sent back a sigh of disgust and ordered him to talk to Andrew. Since they would be near there and not on their way to an emergency, they'd have to talk to him. "Melinda, change our course to Cleveland. Agent Hill told us to talk to him."

"Of course she did," she complained, going up to deal with that plan change.

***

Phil Coulson poured a cup of coffee when Andrew stumbled in the next morning, handing it to him. "Mr. Wells, we have to talk about your product sideline."

He sipped the coffee, staring at him. "What about them?"

"Starting an apocalypse is often considered a bad thing. Especially to the US government, Mr. Wells."

Andrew finished the coffee and made another pot, starting on the breakfast needs. Then he looked at the agent. "They're our old plans. Whatever they do with them is on them, not on us."

"Not really. You did give them the means."

"So do the gun manufacturers." He smirked. "What I do is perfectly legal, just like them." He walked over to the fridge, grabbing the eggs and coming back. "Sorry but not my doing. I only put out the information. Most people think it's a gag gift."

"Perhaps, but they'd still look at you funny. The gun manufacturers get by with it since they sell to the government."

"I've sold to three different senators. Two thought it was a gag gift and the other one's trying to do an ascension for all we know."

"Do we know which one he is?"

"She."

"Which one is she?"

"Someone from Wyoming." He shrugged. "She's real friendly with some of the more religious members." He grinned. "You have fun with her. She's due to come up during a pretty occlusion in about five years."

"What's an ascension?" he asked.

"Human to a huge demon." He smiled. "Look up our high school graduation. They covered it up but oh well."

He did look that up. Phil Coulson scratched his eyebrow with his thumb while he looked over the film. "All right." He looked at him. "Is there a project to help with that?"

"No. That's really disgusting and I'd hate to die to that."

"Good. Thank you." He put his phone up and looked at him. "We would prefer if you not sell those."

"Free enterprise, Agent Coulson," he quipped. "The slayers are going to run you over in about ten minutes." Upstairs, alarm clocks were going off. He started to dish up food as the slayers ran in and nearly over the agent. Thankfully Coulson could pick up the two minis that tried to go through him and put them onto benches so they could be closer to the food and not on top of him. Andrew grinned at the girls. "The government people think I might be mean."

"You are. You make us clean," one of the minis said.

"Not that way," Coulson said. He looked at Andrew. "We have the utmost respect for the slayers so we'd never want to make them more work."

Andrew gave him a smug look. "None of them will do it by themselves without a lot of creativity."

"That's nice of you," Coulson agreed. "We'd still rather they not be offered. That way only those who are very motivated do something like that because they did the research."

Buffy walked in. "Problems?" she asked, blinking hard at him. "Someone make me coffee?" The girls did that and handed her the cup of half sugar/half coffee. She sipped. "Thanks, ladies. Milk?" They handed it to her. "Even better. Don't you guys have to catch the bus soon?" They shook their heads. "Holiday?"

"In service day," Andrew said. "So they have sparring today." The girls groaned and took their breakfasts into the living room to watch tv. "He's worried about my side company's project boxes."

She stared at him while sipping her gooey coffee. "Uh-huh. If you make me more work that makes me as messy as the last apocalypse did, I'm going to make you sorry and clean it all off by hand."

"Of course I would. Not like it'll come out in the wash," Andrew shot back.

She walked off smiling. "Good to know. I'll let the other girls know."

"Sure. I'm sure someone can take the minimal ideas and do something spectacular." He grinned at the agent. Who stared back.

"We'd like no one to try to end the universe," Coulson said.

"Not my fault what they do with it," Andrew said with a smile for him. "It could be worse, I could be using some of Xander's contacts."

"Please don't do that. Especially if you went to the ones we heard he had dated while he was on vacation."

"I heard of it on the tracking websites. They were very happy that Darcy Lewis was so sweet and Xander was cuddly because he had been injured."

"He took her on his vacation?"

"They met down there." He made more eggs. Coulson nicely got out of the way of the older girls coming down to inhale food. "He was on the beach when she showed up for her vacation so they hung out. He picked up a few hell goddesses, she got some nice guardian knights." The slayers all looked at him. He smiled at them. "Xander on vacation." They all sighed but nodded and ate more food.

A late slayer came in. "What's going on?"

"Xander picked up or flirted with hell goddesses on his vacation."

"I think that's why he came in to give reports, bribes, then disappeared before anyone could find out why." She gave Andrew a pouting look. "Feed me, Andrew?"

"Of course I feed you." He handed her food and a plate. She grinned, shimmying into a free spot to eat.

Coulson nodded, making that note. "I'll ask her what happened in case they decide to show up in New York to take her out for a date night." He looked at Andrew. "How many more project boxes do you have coming out that we'd not like?"

He shrugged. "I don't know yet. Sometimes I just get a wacky idea. Not like I have something to take my attention outside of the house. I don't have a girlfriend, even one I made like Warren had."

"Eww," all the girls complained.

"He made a Buffy bot and no one could tell the difference," Andrew quipped with a smile for them. "Even Willow and Xander couldn't tell unless she said something about her programming." They all whined and shook their heads.

"Is he available for recruitment?" Coulson asked. "That could have strategic uses for undercover missions."

"No, he got skinned alive by Willow when he killed Tara and she nearly ended the earth because of him," Andrew sighed. "Though I miss Jonathan."

One of the younger girls ran in and gave him a hug. "We need more geeks like you, Andrew. You need to recruit or have babies." She kissed him on the cheek before stealing some food and running off again.

Andrew grinned. "I need a girlfriend to have babies."

"We have friends," one of the older slayers quipped. "A few think you're cool." Andrew gave her a hug then went back to make more food for the slayers. They always got seconds, except for the time Willow had spelled them all into being *delicate* girls.

Coulson looked at Andrew. "Would you like to talk about that? Perhaps I can give Mr. Stark Warren's plans since he likes robotics so much."

"Isn't that a vision Xander had about an apocalypse battle?" Andrew asked.

"I haven't seen all those so maybe. I'll have to look." He smiled. "Take out one necessary step so no one actually calls a demon into being."

Andrew smirked. "I doubt I'll ruin my rep that way, Agent Coulson. It's how I make money so I can afford my condo on the beach."

"We'd appreciate it."

Andrew nodded. "And most of you still suck toward the girls. Not you particularly but quite a few agents still suck towards the girls. I don't care if they get eaten."

"Understood. Just...tame them down please. We'll talk later as you're busy." He got out of the way of marching younger slayers coming back for seconds on breakfast. He left, going back to the plane to talk to his team and Nick Fury.

Andrew winked at one, making her giggle. He dished up sweets. "Since you're off today and you'll have sparring." The girls ran off with their sweets and hid with it. That way Buffy couldn't take their free day from them.

***

Agent Coulson walked up to Jane Foster's lab and took a deep breath before walking in. "Miss Lewis, can we discuss something for a moment?"

She took her earbud out, staring at him. "About what?" She turned to face him.

"Your vacation dalliances."

"I didn't sleep with anyone on vacation. I flirted. They were nice to flirt with me since their bosses or sisters wanted Xander so much."

"I see. Do you have a report? We'd like to keep track of some of that."

"Jane had it the last I knew. She used it right before I got a shower of holy water."

"You needed it," Jane said from her seat. She didn't even have to look at her. "You won a wet t-shirt contest against demons with multiple teats."

"Really? Why?" Coulson asked her.

She smiled. "One of the guards wanted to show up his boss's snotty girlfriend."

"Ah. Interesting." He stared at her. "So nothing happened except for some flirting?"

"I won some things in a poker game while I was being kept safe because the rest were off saving Xander from some buried treasure he fell into."

"Buried treasure?"

"It was the third time. The first time it was cursed."

He stared at her. "Let's talk about what happened. That way I know if I need to seek out Mr. Harris to get a report from him." She sighed, getting up and following him to the lounge area. "How did you get wherever?"

"Jane sent me on vacation. She decided I was stressed."

"I can see how that happens around here. I spent six weeks following Mr. Stark to make him do things."

She smirked. "It's not that hard. You just gotta know how to talk to the guy, and sometimes nag about him having real food because he forgot while doing Science. Jane does the same thing. Only without robots."

He stared at her for a moment then unbuttoned his jacket, getting comfortable. "How do you get her or Stark to do anything?"

She smiled. "It's not that hard. JARVIS, can you show him how I do it?" The tv screen popped on with a video of her talking Stark into things. She just smiled at him.

"I'll have to use those tactics on my team's R&D team." He looked at her again. The tv turned off. "So, your vacation was where?" She pulled up information on it. "Ah, the demon information pages?"

"One of the sites."

"I'd really like the address of the other sites, just so we can keep track of things before they get out of hand."

"I only have the one. Sorry."

"That's fine." He made note of it and handed the phone back once he was done reading. "It sounded like it was interesting."

"Then I came home to two holy water showers," she said dryly, standing up. "Thanks for asking. Have a great day." She had spotted Clint Barton coming up the hallway and wanted out of the way. She knew he had *plans* for this agent.

Phil looked up as Clint walked in. "It figured that's why the debriefing went so smoothly with her. She's usually more obtuse." Clint glared at him. "What do you know of her vacation?"

"I didn't follow her." He stared at his former handler.

Coulson stared back. "Someone might want to in case she gets courted again." He stood up.

Barton shrugged. "She handled it well and just let them flirt. She's great at it when they try in bars." He shifted to the left because he had heard Natasha's distinctive step behind him. Then Coulson had to yelp when his arm got reopened in the same former wound. "Huh. That looks like it hurt." He walked off feeling smug. "Maybe as much as Columbo."

Coulson looked at Natasha. "How long are you going to punish me for Nick not telling you?"

"We'll get him after we're done punishing you." She smirked a tiny little smirk. "I'm sure you can handle the discussion."

"I'm sure I hate explaining the holes to my tailor."

"I can make it better," she said, moving closer. "We can hold most of the discussion right now."

"I'd rather wait until my arm was healed," he said dryly, staring at her. Her smirk got a bit bigger. "But if we must, I can handle that. As you know." He led her to the gym and tried hard to defend himself. And then when he was a sweaty mess Clint came back to help. He'd be limping back onto the plane the next day, after a night in the infirmary. But they'd be less pissed at him finally. He hoped. He was running out of suit jackets. He limped onto the plane and his team nicely gave him a few ice packs, a pillow to rest against, and their shared bottle of tylenol. It was sweet of them to fuss over him that way. He missed Clint doing it but they could work their way back up to it.

***

Stark walked up to Lewis. "What are they talking about your special bloodlines for?" he asked quietly, staring her down.

"Apparently there was something like a strong witch or something way back when. A few would like me to take up the practicing so there's more good ones in the world." She shrugged. "It'd mess up Jane's Science."

"So just someone powerful way back when?"

She nodded. "As far as I've been told. Apparently there was a time last year that I could've awakened the gift or something but the guys talking to me got interrupted by a witch going rogue. I looked at it but it's not my thing, Stark. They were talking to others at the same time about the same thing."

"When was this?"

"When I went to New Jersey for that concert. One of the people in the band knew about it and wanted to talk to me. Apparently we're distant relatives." She shrugged but smiled. "It was a great concert until a witch went rogue trying to get a blood sacrifice in the parking lot so Rosenburg herself showed up to whip her ass into shape by calling that same hell goddess back to chastize the lower witch for being a dumbass." Stark winced. "Which is when I met Xander. He got invited for the same reason."

"So the mermaid taint?"

"He does? He didn't mention that. No, they were talking long distant bloodlines, not recent stuff." She grinned. "He's a nice guy, kinda goofy but sweet and just wants someone nice in his life. I can't be that girl, but he's got a good game if he didn't expect her to help him with the slayers in the middle of nowhere."

"The only times we've talked he seemed okay and like the only voice of reason."

"I think that may depend on how much the house full of teenage girls drove him nuts."

"It would me too," he agreed. "But just a strong witch or whatever?"

"Yeah, from what they said. Why?"

"I'm wondering if that's why those demon queens wanted to flirt with you."

"They wanted to flirt with Xander and since I was hanging with Xander it was sweet of them to give me someone to talk to while they tried to talk him into bed, and a few of them came to talk to him about problems that were coming up."

"That makes sense. Kind of."

"Let the wing man have her own flirty times so you get the main one, Stark."

"I don't usually have a wing man, I don't know how those happen."

"Sometimes it's just fun. I had a lot of fun. It was a great vacation." She smiled again. "Is that a problem?"

"No, not that I know of. What about Thor?"

"I talked to him first when I got back to make sure he wasn't going to have a Thor-temper about it."

"Okay, that's fine. I just don't want things to get evil around here."

She patted him on the arm. "You're the only evil thing here, Stark, and that's only because you could take over the world if you wanted to. Thankfully, Pepper doesn't want to do the paperwork for you so she diverts your attention." He snorted but gave her an evil smirk. She grinned back, walking off. "Have you eaten in recent memory?"

"I ordered subs, Lewis. Mother hen Jane, not me."

"Coulson wanted to know how I managed that." She shot a smirk back at him. "He wanted to know about my vacation too."

"Which is what got my attention. Though I can definitely get around him."

She winked at him. "Of course you can, especially after the scary twins got done with him."

"Good point." He went back to his lab to look things up. It made sense that someone was searching for more strong bloodlines with all the magic going wrong around the world right now. Though he was worried it was to sacrifice them instead. They'd have to protect her from that sort.

***

Xander walked past Darcy on the streets of New York two days later. "Let me borrow your taser please," he said quietly, staring at her. She handed it over and he zapped the demon stomping their way, making it become visible. "Thanks. Scatter." He handed it back, letting her eject the cartridge and run off. He stared at the demon. "What are you doing here? The local mini was so scared she had Willow summon me."

The demon sniffed him. "Smells like chaos," he said with an evil grin.

"Well, I was born in Sunnydale," he said dryly, staring at him. Now if only Willow had remembered to bring his weapons with him.

"Harris," someone shouted. He looked up and caught the bow. "Welcome. Where's the weak spot?"

"Right in the head." He shot the thing, making it scream and fall backward, trying to pull the arrow out. Another one sank into the skull and this one exploded. "Eww, but handy. Thank you." He handed back the bow when he got down there. "Willow summoned me because the thing scared a mini slayer and forgot my weapons."

Clint winced. "You good?"

"I'm fine. I'm glad I was out of the shower. Five minutes out of the shower. I'm even mostly dressed." He looked at his shorts and t-shirt, but no shoes, no jacket, and it was late fall. He looked up. "Can I go home now since I'm not really dressed for New York?" he called. No answer. Clint handed over his phone so he called her. "Voicemail," he said dryly. "Willow, you summoned me to New York and I'm barely dressed, without my wallet, and without weapons or shoes. Can I go home now?" He hung up with a sigh, handing the phone back. "Thanks."

"Welcome." He grinned. "I can call someone to come help you."

Xander looked at him. "I don't trust your bosses at all."

"Me either."

A car sped up and brakes squealed. Xander glanced over and got them moved into an alley, then up a fire escape. "Go. They're probably here for me."

"Come back to the tower."

"Agent Barton, they want me because your boss outed me as a seer. Therefore I'm a thing to them. They won't care about your teammates. They gassed a town last week."

"C'mon. No time to argue." Xander sighed but followed him. "We can stop their asses." He called it in. "Steve, me. I found a wandering watcher that got summoned and we nearly got taken by agents. On our way via roofs." He listened. "There, yup. Please do." He hung up and got Xander out of the way of the helicopter firing on them. "Fuck!"

"Yeah, I feel that way too and I really should have Andrew use his nanites to make your boss my eternal bodyguard."

"He's a horrible shot," Clint quipped. "And he'd hate you dating."

"If I knew one of my dates was nearby I'd go to them. Most of them would help me."

"We like you well enough." He got them onto another roof and down their emergency stairs, then back outside so they could do the last two blocks to the building. They got there and ducked behind Steve, Clint getting a reload and Xander taking a few guns off the security guards. Clint grinned at him. "Nice choices."

"Thanks. Especially since one's one of them." He stared at him. "I saw you."

"My cousin, sir."

"Better be."

"I'm not part of this. He's an idiot." He backed off, hands up. "Really a big idiot."

"Thank you." They moved to defeat the assholes. And an asshole general. Who Xander just shot in the body armor. "I warned your ass about coming near us."

"How did you get visions, boy?" the general sneered.

"The minion popped my eye," he shot back. This time it was a head shot. General Ross didn't get up from that. "I feel safer now," he sneered. "You can't come for the slayers again."

Clint looked over. "That's going to cause a stink."

Xander shook his head. "No it won't. He came after a few of the baby slayers. I had to come help rescue them last week. That was the last time I got summoned." More agents showed up and Xander stared at one. "Awww, look, it's the one who created this mess," he sneered. "I hope you're happy."

Fury looked at the mess then at him. "How many were yours?"

"No comment, jackass. The same as me having to handle them gassing a town I wasn't even in is one." Fury growled. Xander stared back. "I can make sure I'm safe."

"No need." He pointed. "He created this mess."

"He's protecting himself," Xander shot back. "He also has Presidential authority to do so."

"I'm sure," one of the agents sneered.

Tony walked out with a tablet, dialing. "It's Tony Stark. One of the Council guys just had to make a mess thanks to Fury," he told the person.

Xander stepped back and waved the gun in his hand. "I had to make a mess. Again. About the same reason I had to brief him about last night, Miss Haviland."

"Oh, dear. He's in a meeting and not to be disturbed, Mr. Harris. Let me try to get the Vice President." She called then spotted him coming up the hallway. "Sir!" she yelled. He came over and she tipped the camera. "Mr. Harris of the Council."

Xander nodded. "They came for me again, just like that village I had to report about last night."

"Where are you?"

"Here in New York. A demon hunting minis freaked one of the baby slayers out so Willow summoned me. Without my ID, shoes, weapons. I'm borrowing these."

"Great." He looked at the other person holding the tablet. "Stark."

"Sir," he said with a nod. He held it up so the camera could get pictures. "He had to make a mess on our doorstep. There's three buildings that have holes from them trying to fire on him and Barton."

"I need to find me an ex to get home," Xander said. "It'd be safer."

Fury sneered. "You're a big pain in my ass, Harris."

"I can shoot you too, Fury, since you're the one that started all this. After all, aren't you supposedly dead?" Fury sneered. "Sir, I need orders," Xander said calmly. "Before I take out the sneering douchebag that started all this mess by outing me as the Council's seer."

"Fury, stand down," he ordered. He turned to talk to someone on that end. "Harris, hand the weapons to one of the Avengers and go sit on their couch. Consider them holding you in custody until someone I trust gets up there. Bob, they tried Harris again."

"Same idiots, and by the way I'm sorry I had to feel safer about Ross, kinda," Xander said. "Especially after that rescue last week."

"I heard," the president said. "Fury, stand the fuck down." Fury backed up. "Xander, let the Avengers take you into custody. I'm sending up one of my people directly to this to handle it. No one makes any other move. Find out which agency that other group was. That way we can defund and decreate them. Stark?"

"Yup?"

"Harris is in your custody until I get someone up there by dinner. I need to make a few calls first to handle this stupidity. What started this, Harris?"

"Fury used me as a staked goat to bring out some of the hidden HYDRA people by outing me as a seer. This is almost as nice as the sub-nuclear bomb I found on my car the next day."

"Crap, I got that file." He cleared his throat. "Fury, go back to your office and wait on me. Harris, go calm down." Willow appeared and glared at the mess on the sidewalk. "Rosenburg!" he snapped. She flinched, looking at the tablet. "We're meeting tonight to figure out how to save Harris from all this stuff coming down on his head thanks to Fury."

"I could really use my shoes and wallet," Xander told her. "Since I can't leave until he gets here now."

She stared at him. "Why do you have a gun?" she demanded.

He walked out and pointed. "See them? They were shooting at me." He stared at her. "Thanks to Fury outing me as a seer, they think I'm now a thing to rip apart and study." She sneered. He stared back. "Thanks to you summoning me to get that demon, without weapons I might add, I was in the right place at the wrong time. By the way, call first. Give me a chance to at least grab sneakers and a sword or something?" She huffed and disappeared. He looked at the tablet. "No clue," he admitted at the amused look. "Fuck it, I want Brigit to show up."

"She's in France," Fury sneered.

Xander looked at him then across the street. "Can you tell Brigit I might need her tonight?" he called.

"Of course, Xander, and get you the stuff you accidentally left with us last time because the witch kidnaped you then."

"Thank you. Any shoes?"

"Yeah, I think so." He made that call. "It'll come in about an hour. You know she lives halfway to Pennsylvania."

"Thank you. Apparently I'll be here. Waiting on the higher ups."

"Great. It'll mean you're safe." He shot someone. "Don't move toward him. He's got a good reason to be paranoid and my boss will only treat my relatives if I die in her service or protecting him." Xander walked over to hug him. "Go inside. Clean up. You're messy."

"Thanks." He walked back over there, handing Clint the guns. One of the agents that was injured but not dead tried to get up. Steve's shield made his head bang on the concrete and he was out for a good few hours. "Thank you as well." He looked at the tablet.

"Go inside. Go clean up. I have no idea how you're doing this in bare feet."

"Gotta do it sometimes," he sighed. "Yes, sir."

"Thank you. By dinner. I'm sending Philip up. I know he's fairly anti-Council but I'll be listening to what happens. Call me back then, Stark."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you. Try to relax and calm down, Xander."

"Yes, sir." The president hung up. "Can I go hide in a bathroom?"

"Yeah, this way, kid," he said, leading him up to the lab floor's bathroom. Xander went to clean up and do whatever he needed to do to calm down. The others of them gathered to talk about this and make sure no one else broke in to harm anyone.

***

Stark got Xander from the bathroom, letting him put on the clothes that had been dropped off for him. "Does the meditation stuff really work for you?"

"It helps control the temper tantrum I want to throw but it's not easing the paranoia," he admitted, getting up. "Thanks for the helping earlier."

"It's wrong of them to do that, even if you were some strange specimen from another galaxy or something."

"I'm definitely not one of those." He went into the bathroom stall to change, coming out in the tighter jeans and t-shirt plus worn out sneakers. "I had been clubbing." Stark grinned. "Even I need the stress relief. Right now would be a great time for a new vacation." They went upstairs and he nodded at the Chief of Staff. "Sir."

"Harris. Are you calmer?"

"Calmer but just as paranoid. Did you get to see the report on them gassing a village I wasn't anywhere near?" he asked at the dirty look.

"I haven't." Xander pulled it up on Stark's system. It linked to his phone somehow so that was handy. He read it and huffed. "Who was that stupid?"

"Ross's people." Xander looked at him. "This is the third time this week. The eighth time this month." The Chief of Staff winced. "Even with Ross dead, will it stop?"

"Probably. I'd hope so. The president said it was."

"Then please make it so before they hurt more innocents or baby slayers."

"If you'd just undo...."

"I can't undo them popping my eye!" He glared at the guy. "It's not like I *asked* for this damn gift! I never wanted to have visions and I sure as *hell* don't want to see apocalypse battles! It's a huge damn punishment for me because I stepped in to help Buffy and the higher powers over the slayers hate that I helped her win but upset their plans that they made centuries ago." He sneered. "It's not my fault that the minion got me. Trust me, if I could turn the fucking things off, I would. No one *wants* brain warping visions. We've seen three seers die of it since I got this supposed gift."

"Whatever," he said.

The president cleared his throat from the communication system. "Shut up, Philip." He settled down. "Calm down, Xander."

"Yes, sir. I'm trying. It's not going to work."

The president looked him over. "You left clothes?"

"With Brigit." He smiled. "I spotted her minion earlier and he sent them to me. Willow pulled me out of there after our last date night."

"That's charming of her, and her thing earlier. She's already yelled at us twice today. The Secret Service sedative darted her."

"They don't tend to work on her because of her protections, sir. They tend to just piss her off."

"I'll tell them that. Your people?"

"I haven't called. I would've screamed at her."

"Good point." He sighed. "All right. I've talked to Ross's second-in-command. He has been ordered to leave you, your girls, your people, and the Avengers the hell alone." Xander sighed but nodded, looking like he relaxed. "I can't do more than yell at Fury. We can't undo that knowledge."

"I know. Which is why I thought seriously about having Andrew make him my eternal bodyguard."

"That's a punishment from hell, kid, but I agree you could use one."

Xander shrugged. "None of the ones I've dated want to help me train slayers, sir."

"Good point. Are you safer down there?"

"Depends on who shows up."

"Point." He looked at Stark. "He safe there for tonight?" Stark nodded. "Good! I've got to finish my talk with Nick Fury." He looked at Xander again. "We'll try."

"I've already pre-called in a life debt, sir. If I'm killed by something like this, I'll come back as an Avatar of Justice to take out whoever killed me."

"Good! Scary but good." He smiled. "The girls must love having you with them."

"Depends on the girl," he admitted. "Willow and Buffy...."

"I know, kid. I've seen it during meetings. Just...stay calm. Don't call another ex. We'll figure out how to get you back to your stuff in Africa."

"I used a phone earlier to text the slayer I'm working with so she could get my stuff out of the hotel room so it's not stolen again."

"Weapons?" Stark asked.

"Few guns. We had to use the bigger stuff again last week."

"I do not have a report on that," the president said, staring at him.

"No one has a report on that. The local government said to forget it happened. Again."

"Where were you?"

"Near Mia."

The president considered it. "Of course that president wanted to forget about it. But hey, no press this time?"

"No, sir, no press. The military came to get me to handle it when things started. They followed directions to stop the portal and the demons. They just don't want to remember it happened."

"Do you have reports on those that you haven't given Rupert?"

"I only suggested he look on one of the demon-run sites, sir." He smiled. "There's plenty of places in Africa that smart phones don't work."

"Yes there are," Stark agreed. "How many battles have you been in?"

"One every three-four months," Xander admitted. He crossed his feet under the table. "A few I picked to stop stupid things. A few that got started that we handled. I've given all the militaries down there information so they can handle the simple stuff. They know when they can handle it and how to handle most of the bigger stuff that doesn't need magic or a slayer." He grinned. "It does make the minis a lot safer."

"I'm sure it does," the Chief of Staff said. "Have you done that to us?"

"The US militaries haven't asked and are actively playing 'we don't see you'," Xander said, looking at him. "We won't work with the Army thanks to Finn's group, but we'll gladly instruct any other group on how to help and they can teach the Army." Steve stared at him. "Sorry, but history with Rangers doing stuff that you would've stopped way back during the war," he said bluntly. "And worse." Steve nodded once and relaxed again. He looked at the two higher ups. "What do you want me to do, sirs?"

"I want you to relax and quit stressing but I doubt it'll happen," the Chief of Staff said.

"Not while I'm being hunted like some oddity."

Willow appeared. "I did not do wrong bringing you!" she said firmly.

He stared at her. "You pulled me without any warning, Willow. I didn't even have shoes on."

"You should've been dressed anyway!"

"I was five minutes out of a shower," he said more firmly, standing up to glare down at her. "You're damn lucky I managed to have on a shirt by then since I had to do the eye wash this morning too." He glared and she sneered back. "For that matter, how hard is it to call a quick 'eta 2 minutes' call? It would've been great. I could've grabbed my shoes, my weapons, my jacket, my wallet so I have my ID. It wouldn't have taken you any time. You could've even delegated to Andrew.

"It would've helped since I was getting dressed for equatorial Africa and ended up in Fall in New York City. Pants would've been great. So would've shoes. Or even socks. Having to run a few blocks in bare feet in this city is a bit dangerous. Especially since I had to pick a few pieces of glass out of my feet. Could've been a used needle or anything else." She backed down. "You could have called in a warning call. It would've taken you seconds. I had everything within grabbing distance while I dressed so I could go back to training Mia today.

"Beyond that, not the first time you've done that to me. And then I ended up having to borrow weapons to kill the demon, then to defend myself from the damn military!" She flinched back, shaking her head. "Yeah, Fury's bullshit that outed me as the seer for the Council is now haunting me. Ask Giles if you don't believe me. I've reported all those to him. He may not hear about every battle but he sure as hell hears about these sort of things so he knows he might have to evacuate some of the minis."

She slumped. "I didn't think about warning you. I figured you'd be dressed."

"Mia's village is six hours behind us," he said bluntly.

"Oh. I didn't think about the time zone thingies."

He nodded. "It's eight hours behind Cleveland for Yihana's town."

"In front, not behind," Bruce Banner said. "If it's noon here, it's six pm on the east coast of Africa and 8pm in Eritrea."

"Okay," Xander agreed, smiling at him. "Thanks."

"Welcome, kid." He looked at Willow. "A warning is always considered a nice thing unless you have seconds to handle it. He didn't even have a weapon."

"He would've ended up a greasy spot if Barton hadn't been out for some reason and let him bum his spare bow," Stark agreed. "Then he got some off my tower's guards to protect himself and us from them."

The president looked at Barton. "Thank you."

"Welcome, sir. Seemed the right thing to do. Can I get that handling it information you give to the militaries down there?"

"Yeah. I have copies of it for you guys and one of the slayers in college put up a wiki for the girls' use."

"You teach who?" Willow demanded.

"Anyone who asks. There's not enough slayers to put one in each town and village. That way they can handle the simple stuff and know when to call a slayer. Giles agreed it was a good plan. There's now twenty total slayers in Africa, Willow, and all but six are under the age of puberty. Ten of those are barely walking and babbling."

"If it takes four slayers to handle just London," Steve said. "Then it probably takes at least thirty or so to handle a country."

"London's our punishment house," Xander admitted. "It takes two to handle London and then there's the two on punishment. Though, yeah, it'd take about fifty spread and doing areas to handle all of Africa, and we can't get girls into some areas because it's too dangerous."

"No it's not!" Willow said.

"Gloria," Xander shot back. She went pale and heaved. "Yeah, it is. It's not the only place shit like that happens. That plus things like Sudan's and Rwanda's ongoing and eternal civil war. Places that wouldn't respect a female anyway because she's female." She slumped, pouting. "We'd love more but there's not more."

"I get that," she huffed. "I'll call from now on." She disappeared.

Xander sat down, leaning his head back to look up then at the screen. "I'd like to hear about those battles, Harris," the president said. "Even if it's just for us."

"Sir, one of the agents that came demanding reports actually thought it might make diplomatic things with Boko Haram more difficult that I had to rescue Gloria from them."

"He's an idiot," the Chief of Staff said. "I told him that." Xander grinned weakly at him. "How many have there been?"

"I've been down there now for just about five years. We have something bigger every three to four months. We have something huge every six or seven months. Sometimes right together. In between I go to train the minis." The president sighed, shaking his head. Xander pulled up a site, put in his password, and then let Stark have the tablet that had been on the table. "That's mine for reports that I edit for Giles. Mostly because we don't want him to become a full time alcoholic like when Buffy died. The ones in South America and Asia go on the same program. We reduce the stress on Giles before he dies of it and we have to take out some of the old liners to protect the girls."

The president nodded. "Who is second in command?" Xander pointed at the blank spot Willow had been in. "Do they know that?"

"Yup, which is why we'll have another funeral and then a lot of funerals." He nodded a bit. "Very quickly. Just so the girls are protected. Which may mean that Andrew is going to end up on top."

The president shook his head. "I don't like that idea. I've seen him doing things like apocalypse in a box?"

"It's his side company. He's recruiting for a new evil geek group. I'm told that one of your senators up there have one that they got to work but it was a step on their way to an ascension."

The president stared at him for a minute. "Which. One?"

"Not a clue. Ask him, sir."

"I can do that tomorrow." He smiled at his Chief of Staff.

"I'll pause there on my way back. Are all his nanites off?"

"Have to ask him but the last I heard the computer that had the commands on it had a virus thanks to a slayer searching for cheerleader humiliation porn," Xander quipped, grinning at him. "No clue. I'm not there often enough to be in the loop. The last time I was there, I walked in, handed over three presents, two reports, told Andrew that his apocalypse in a box in Jamaica really liked the cookies he sent me, and then left thanks to one of the ones I flirted with."

The president sighed, sounding like he deflated. "We'll talk to Mr. Wells about being good for the government."

"Jonathan did a spell thingy to make him the most interesting man in the world," Xander quipped. "It was like a love spell only worse. And I'd know."

The president blinked. "So the other geeks from his trio were worse?"

"Warren was the reason Willow lost her shit because Tara died, sir."

"Ah. Is he alive?"

"She skinned him alive."

The president coughed into his fist. "That was before her thing...." Xander nodded. "Okay. Not a problem. We can help Andrew find a few geeks to mentor perhaps. As long as he doesn't try his own world takeover bid."

"It's a lot of work, sir, and he's got a ton to do with the girls. Then again, if he did, we'd probably not realize it until he got voted into your seat or something."

"If he wants this seat, he's got to age a few years and then I'll gladly hand it over," the president said. "Most of us have no idea how bad it is sitting here."

"Just don't suggest me," Xander quipped. "There's a few demons who'd *love* that so I couldn't help the slayers."

The president's eyes went big and he nodded slowly. "I forgot about that effect." Xander smiled. "Do you?"

"Hell. No. Sir."

"Good!" He smiled. "All right, let me make this all quit being such a stain on the US. Philip, talk to Mr. Wells tomorrow without stressing him out. That would definitely upset the girls and we don't need stressed out slayers. Mr. Harris, we'll get you back to Africa and your minis. It's probably safer over there."

"I'd hope," he agreed. "How am I getting there?"

"We'll arrange something, kid. Give us until tomorrow. Philip, stay up there to coordinate that."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you." He looked at Xander. "Nice work. Calm down. Don't call any of your ex's. If they take you out of the tower, make sure you let them know."

"I will."

"Thank you. Boys, and Agent Romanoff, stay calm. It shouldn't affect you tonight. Just...go do fun things. All right? Let me yell at a few minions." He hung up.

Xander looked at the Chief of Staff. "My ID's still down there."

"I can get them printed specially." Xander grinned. "Is your license out of Cleveland?"

"LA. My official address is a PO Box in LA."

"Even easier. They're used to weird things." He made that note. "Any idea of the number?" Xander wrote out what his address and number was. "Great. All right, let's get things calmer. I'll go yell at the people outside."

"Regular protest or extra special one?" Xander asked.

"Super special one. You're damn lucky, Harris." He walked off making notes while calling his assistant. It was nice the president trusted him but he hated to deal with the Council.

Xander sighed and slumped into the chair. "I'm sorry they drew you guys into that crap pile."

Stark shrugged. "The same people were after Bruce and would love to tear Steve apart too, Harris. We'll let you camp somewhere tonight so you can rest. I'll even send Lewis to nag you instead of Jane."

Xander grinned. "Thanks. Darcy's a sweet girl. Too sweet for me to do more than tease, but she's a nice lady."

"She is," Stark agreed. He got them down to a room and let his AI tell Darcy where he was so she could fuss or whatever. Steve was down driving off the protest, which was mostly against them instead of the poor guy. It was a quiet night in the tower but at least Xander could rest safely for a bit. Even if he did do it on Darcy's lap as it turned out. They apparently napped to netflix.

***

Thor came up the next morning, nodding at Darcy. "Good morrow, Darcy."

"Good morning, Thor." She gave him a pat on the arm. "When did you start carrying a battle axe?"

"It belongs to your vacation friend."

Xander squealed and took it to cuddle. "They fixed it. Thank you, Lord Thor." He smiled at him. "It's my baby."

"I feel much the same about my hammer." He patted him on the shoulder. "Kreth can pass on your letter of thanks." Xander pulled some paper and a pen Darcy handed him over to write that for him. Then he marked a few things on the bottom, which sent the letter. Thor stared. "You can do that?"

"One of the senior witches taught me." He grinned. "It's handy when postage back to the US from Africa is so expensive."

Thor nodded. "I can see why." He walked off smiling. The young warrior was a bit goofy but nice enough.

"Oh, dear," the AI for the tower said. Xander paused, looking up. "Mr. Harris, there appears to be a slight problem downtown." He popped up a virtual screen.

Xander moved closer to stare, touching it. "The kill spot is in the chest, about normal heart's place, and it takes silver." He looked at his axe then up. "I can go handle it if I'm not leaving in the next few minutes. The only slayer old enough to patrol around here is probably having a history exam today." He spotted a mother dragging a kid. "Oh, no, that's Belinda's mother. Someone call the NYPD to stop the warped bitch!" he complained, heading for the elevator. "Thanks, dude. Let me go handle that before she gets her daughter killed. I need to yell at that mother." The elevator opened when he got there.

"The other Avengers are gathering on the launching pad, Lord Thor," the AI said.

"I'll gladly join them. Be safe, Darcy." He went to grab his hammer and headed up to meet up with the team. Stark flew them there in a quin jet. It'd get them around the traffic jam.

Xander was jogging up to it. "Stop that stupid cunt before she gets her daughter killed!" he yelled at an officer, pointing. "She's too damn young!"

"Yes, sir! Are you Council?"

"Sure as hell am," he agreed, speeding up and taking a flying leap at the demon. It was about two stories tall. The chest was about a story up. He climbed up it, letting the officers distract it with shooting at it. He swung and hit the right spot, and his axe bounced off the protection.

The demon laughed, swatting him off him. "Puny human. Some of us are not that stupid. We even watch your movies."

"Great," Xander agreed, looking him over as he stood up. "The mark's on his thigh. Because I watch the same damn movies." The officers shuddered. "Belinda, go back to the car!" he yelled.

"She's a slayer!" her mother shouted. "I don't know who you think you are...."

Xander punched her. "I'm Xander. I'm the trainer for the girls in Africa. Your daughter is six fucking years old! She is not to be doing anything outside of learning how to get away from things! How *DARE* you bring her here! Now get your cunt ass up and go let yourself be arrested! Belinda, car, now!" he ordered with a point.

"Yes, Xander," she chirped. "Do we need magic? I can call Miss Willow. I have my special phone."

He grinned at her. "Nah, we don't need Willow. She's pouty today." He smiled and took a gun, saying something over it. "It's a blessing," he said, smiling at the officer and shooting the protection mark until it broke. The demon screamed. "Great. Let's do this again. Kill spot is on the chest, it needs silver." Stark fired on it and Barton got there with a silver arrow. "Cool!" He grinned and waved. "Thanks, guys, get his sister?" he asked with a point.

"Just needs the head blown off." They nodded, focusing on her. Xander hitched his axe to his back and went to climb up the complaining demon again. It tried to swat him. The officers fired on it to distract it again. Xander hit it in the right spot, then had to jump off it before the demon fell on him. "Ow," he muttered, getting up and limping off on his now bruised ankle. The sister demon was going down and they had brought their kid.

"Aww, it's take your kid to work day," he sneered, taking it out with a head shot. "Sorry, but your kind eat people. We don't allow that in this city. There's too many weird things already." A higher pitched voice screamed and he paused, looking around. He slowly backed up toward a building. Yup, three flying things. "What are you?" he muttered. He called that in. "Giles, me. Turn on the news. What are the flying things that I've never even seen described?" He listened. "How? Just...can't be killed. Okay. Can they be magiced off or anything?" He nodded once. "Okay." He hung up. "Tell Stark that they can't be killed. They're immortal. They're Furies. Tie them up and he'll get the coven to come banish them."

The officers called that in. Stark had an idea. Thor knocked one out of the sky with his hammer. Xander walked over to knock her out. He patted himself down. "Damn it, that's in my kit," he muttered. "Andrew, I could use my knock out bombs," he called, looking up. A small black zippered bag fell next to him. "Not exactly but it can help." He pulled out the three little balls and threw one at one of the Furies. Stark batted it back at her when it missed. "Sorry."

"Let me," Steve said, taking them to hit the two women. "What do those do?" They were shrieking about their clothes being eaten and then they passed out. He looked at Xander.

"Mixed demon byproduct bomb." He grinned. "Acidic in case it helps and then a few things mixed that create a sleeping gas. It's for use on the huge things." He picked up the zippered bag to look in it, nodding and taking out the two things. "Thanks, 'Drew," he called, smiling up. "Great job." He put the bag into his front pocket. "We need to banish them back." A witch showed up. "Helda, will it only take you?"

"It should, boy." She looked at him. Then at the dead demons. "Huh. Nicely done." He grinned. "Why did you set Willow off?"

"Oh, you so missed it yesterday. She called me up here from Mia's village without shoes, socks, weapons, my ID. To handle something that only appeared a few minutes after I got here. Then the ones who want me for that little headache problem of mine showed up."

She winced. "I'm so sorry, boy. Were these ones coming for you?"

He shrugged. "They didn't try to attack me. I have no idea why they're here."

"They were trying to attack the mother," Steve said.

Xander nodded. "Means I don't have to beat her to death for dragging her six-year-old daughter here to fight." Helda stared at him. He pointed. "Belinda."

She went to check her, calming her down with a hug. "Your mother should not have done that, child. We'll make sure you're protected. Go hug Xander." She ran over to hug him and he cuddled her back. She went to banish the Furies. "Not that I don't think they need to talk to her mother," she said when Stark landed. He put up his face shield. "Thank you for the help."

"You're welcome. What are they?"

"Furies. They came for the baby's mother." She pointed at the mini slayer. Then she disappeared.

Xander looked at her. "Helda's third in command at the Devon Coven," he said quietly. "She's the one with fourteen grandkids." Belinda smiled. "She's the one who keeps nagging Willow to have sense and use it." She laughed. "I know, we all do." He carried her over, nodding at the officers. "Any other problems?" he quipped. "It usually comes in threes."

"There's a huge thing in the ocean but it's watching the people on the beach," one said.

Xander looked at him. "Human looking?"

"No. Not by a long shot," he admitted.

"Tentacles?" Belinda asked. "We know there's a kraken in the hellmouth but Miss Buffy said that Mr. Giles said they live in the ocean usually."

"They do," Xander agreed. "You deal with them by cutting off tentacles until you find the mouth then pouring in salt. Then you have to burn it to make sure the cut things don't make new ones."

She looked at him in awe. "Have you?"

"Mine was a tiny one. Only about two feet across." She hugged him. He patted her on the back, grinning as he cuddled her back. "Some day you'll do great things and we'll all be happy, Belinda. It's not now, but some year."

She smiled. "I hope so." She looked at the officer. "Is my mommy in trouble?"

"Yup, she is. Can you call your father? We can let him pick you up."

"I can call my daddy and my stepdaddy."

"Call both so we can talk to them," another officer said, taking her from Xander. "We'll take you to the twelfth precinct. They can come pick you up there. Are you okay, any bruises?"

"One on my wrist and I need to go potty soon please."

"We can handle that," he promised, looking at Xander. He showed him the number for the main house. "Ask for...."

"Giles or Andrew. He's the housemother and the other guys might complain if you pull them from the books." He glanced at the news crew then at him. "Let me disappear before we have more problems here. I'm not supposed to be here."

"Thank you for being here." He walked off with the girl, who was texting her parents.

Xander looked at Steve, showing him the same number. "If you ever need it."

"Got it," he agreed. "Let's get that ankle looked at."

Xander looked down then at him. "It's only sprained." He limped off. "Let me get back there so I can shower and change into the stuff I washed in the sink last night."

Steve walked him to the quin jet and inside, letting Clint take them back to the tower. He handed him to Darcy. "He sprained his ankle."

"I can take him to the infirmary." She walked him off, babbling at him to get him to calm down. Xander hugged her in the elevator so that was nice. He didn't even try to grope.

Steve looked at the others, writing down the number. "In case we ever need it." It got put into phones as the others went to change and get comfortable again.

***

"There's going to be some butthole nibbling tonight," Darcy quipped as she came back alone.

"Butt chewing would be a good idea," Stark agreed.

"No, butt chewing is for normal problems. She's going to have her asshole nibbled on for that. She's going to be crapping the toes that kicked her butt and the teeth that chewed on her for months."

"Good!" Stark agreed. "Is she under arrest?"

"Yup. Apparently Buffy interrupted Giles talking to one of the principals down there to have him yell at that mother." She settled in on the couch near Steve, grinning at him. "Agents came to get Xander back to Africa and he didn't fight about it so they're probably okay."

"That's good. I'm hoping he'll be safer down there."

"It's mostly more open areas so he can probably do that. I asked and that's what he said. That and he hates taking out humans but that woman...he almost made an exception."

"I nearly made an exception," Stark said. "Hell, Pepper's text said *she* nearly made an exception so she could beat her."

Darcy grinned at him. "She'd be fabulous while doing it too."

"Yes she would." He texted that back to her. "She said she even has a few cheaper pairs of shoes that she'll enjoy ruining for that purpose."

"All mine are thrift shop and I can easily ruin them if she shows up here," Darcy quipped.

"Let us help. We'd all like to hit her a few times," Jane said from her seat on Thor's knee. He took up the whole loveseat so it was a practical seat for her.

Darcy grinned. "I had no idea that's how you used a battle axe."

Thor nodded. "He's obviously trained for a long time without guidance, some of his swings were a bit awkwardly done, but he did good with it. He clearly adores that weapon as his favorite."

"Yeah, I asked. Giles wasn't allowed to teach him so he learned on his own," Darcy said.

"He does as good as many warriors. Even though the ones he helps lead are all younger, bouncy women. Sif was most amused of their stories," he told Jane, smiling at her. "She wanted to come see how well they were trained and if perhaps she could help them."

"Sif's a great warrior and a good friend to have," Jane agreed, leaning back against him. He smiled, holding her. "Darcy could probably ask him."

"Already sent a text message," Darcy quipped. "He said as long as she doesn't rag on the girls for being young women, he was sure they probably wouldn't mind too much. Buffy might but that's her feeling like someone better would push her out of her spot." She looked at Thor.

"I'll tell her that. Sif is gifted in diplomacy." He smiled at Jane, who grinned back. "My mother wanted a letter soon if you wanted to add to it."

"I can do that tonight." He nodded and they settled in to rest. They could ignore the other guys who all thought it was cutesy of them.

***
Part 6 by Voracity2
Xander woke up in a hospital, which was weird. He had been on a plane the last he knew. He checked, no handcuffs. He slowly sat up, cataloging the injuries. He was sore, like he had bruised ribs. His ankle still hurt. His legs felt numb. He looked under the sheet to make sure he still had legs, and yup they were there and bruised all to hell. He looked around the room, then nodded. This did not look good. The door to his room looked like a cell door, like it locked. He checked his IV, empty. He swung his legs around. Slight concussion feeling but it felt like it was a few weeks old.

He disconnected the IV with the tape that was sitting beside the bed and then looked around the room again. No obvious cameras. Not that it meant anything, they could be really tiny and hidden inside the vents or something. Xander knew he was paranoid but he had a good reason to be so paranoid. He stood up. No one made any noise outside his room. He snuck closer to the doorway, glancing out the small window. Ancient looking hospital. Door was locked from the other side. No nurses in sight. This was great. So did he get put into somewhere that was closed down?

No, it had to have *someone* there if he was there. Right? He checked the rest of the room, finding his clothes cleaned. His wallet was in there. No weapons. Nothing sharp or pointy to get the door open. His necklace was in there though. That had a hidden thing that was helpful. He started to wonder who had stuck him here. Was it a plot or was it a protection or was it a goof? He'd have to make sure after he got free. The door wasn't easily opened and he was too sore to kick it open, but the necklace had a tiny, lock sized, amount of plastic explosive and he had his watch. Because yeah, he was paranoid for a good reason.

He blew the door and waited but no one came running. He walked out, grabbing the only chart in the holder, his. This place was super creepy. Clearly closed down. A sign said it was the psych ward so that explained the locked door. The whole place was falling in. There wasn't any signs of anyone being here recently. Whoever had knocked him out and put him here had apparently let him wake up when his IV ran out. Sure, he could handle this. He checked the desks for anything useful.

Phone was disconnected. No power out there. Filing cabinets were empty of everything but his truck keys. He pocketed those and moved on to the emergency stairs. It hurt to walk but oh well. He wasn't staying there. Especially when he found the bomb in the stairwell. He disarmed it before moving on. Construction grade. Someone had a *plan*. "That's so sweet of them," he muttered as he snuck down the stairs. Down there he ran into a security guard. "Dude, why did I wake up in a room hooked to an IV?"

"Who're you, sir?" he asked, hand on his gun.

Xander pulled out his ID to check then held it up. "The last I knew I was on a flight to Africa."

"There's been someone on the news looking for you. You were here?"

"Four floors up, halfway toward the back, facing a parking lot," he said with a point up the stairs. "By the way, I disabled the bombs on the way down since I'm not moving too well. Where am I?"

"Virginia."

"Where in Virginia?"

"By Langley, about thirty miles from there. Are you an agent?"

"Council." The guard winced. "Which is probably why I found myself up there. Any idea who left me and my charming former IV? Or why I'm bruised, anything?"

"No, sir."

"Great. Okay. Train station?" The guard pointed. "Like the commuter rail? I know DC has one. I took it once."

"In the morning."

"That'll work. Thank you. If you find out who, can you let someone know?"

"I can do that, sir."

"Thanks. Was this a regular hospital?"

"Forty years ago."

"Ah. Cool. Thanks, man." He hobbled off, heading for the train station. It was a few miles but it'd take him most of the night with the way he ached. He did find a payphone and made a collect call. "It's me," he said into the 'say your name' message. It was picked up. "No damn clue," he admitted when she asked where he was. "Out by Langley. Taking the train in tomorrow. Fuck I ache but I was in a closed down hospital. Unconscious in a closed down hospital. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. Call off the manhunt and all that. No, the last I knew I was on my way back to Mia in Africa." He listened. "It's been six days?" he demanded. "Well, that explains why it feels like the concussion is about a week old," he quipped. "I'll see you tomorrow but I'll warn you before I show up, Dawn. Thanks." He hung up and found a bench to wait on. The guard there gave him a few looks. "I'm lost and taking the train home," he said with a slight grin. "Really sore too."

"Do you need an officer?"

"No, I've got a roomie who's an agent," he lied. "I'm going to talk to him first." The guard nodded. "Just waiting on the commuter rail, Officer."

He checked his watch. "Four hours."

"That's fine." The officer nodded and walked off but he passed by there often. Xander bought a ticket as soon as that office opened then got onto the first train into the city. He knew where it went. He had spent about a month in DC and could get around reasonably well. If not, there were cabs.

***

Xander looked up from sipping some coffee as the office he was in was opened by someone. "Morning, sir."

"Harris?" he demanded. "How did you get in here?"

"I'm more worried why I woke up in a closed down hospital up by Langley." He put down the ticket stub. "Woke up when the IV ran out apparently. The last I knew I was on a plane to Africa."

"The plane was refueling and you got attacked. The had a dirty agent on the team and he got the others," the guard said, coming in to look at the ticket stub. "I know there's a closed one up there due for destruction."

"I disarmed the bombs on the way down the stairs. So how did I get up there, bruised and with a healing concussion, on an IV that ran dry before I woke up, and feeling like crap?" he asked.

"No one has any clue," the guard said.

Xander nodded. "Great. The idiots who bruised me?"

"Arrested, heading for trial. They hated the Council," the guard said.

"There's days I don't like the Council," Xander said dryly, standing up. "The head guard put me in here."

"He didn't tell me that."

"Maybe he thought someone would hurt me more," he said dryly, staring at him. "I have not a clue. Dawn said I've been missing now for six days?"

"This afternoon makes seven," the president said.

Xander nodded once, looking at him then at the guards. "I thought I was paranoid, but now I guess I get to go to Moody levels of paranoid."

"I don't think that even that level of paranoid and magical tech would help," the guard said. "Are you okay?"

"Sore as hell." He pulled up a pants leg to show the bruising. "On both sides." He looked at him. "So who had me for the week and did they take blood samples?"

"Why would they?" the president asked.

Xander grimaced. "There's a few Council-only, senior Council-only, secrets. Including that I fell into a burial chamber one Thanksgiving and the ghosts in there gave me nice diseases I nearly died from," Xander told him. "Which Riley Finn would've seen since he was dating Buffy then."

The president considered it. "How many?"

"Two then. At least another one from my time in Africa. I've had a few unidentified fevers. Plus the mermaid taint from the swim team incident in high school."

"Oh, shit," the guard muttered. "Can we do a quick test?"

"As long as I'm not identified," Xander said. "At all. I'm going to go beyond Nick Fury level of paranoid."

"We can help with that. Does anyone know you made it out?" the guard asked.

"I called Dawn this morning," Xander admitted. "To let her know I'd see her later today. Dawn's got enough beings guarding her that if they show up there they'll warn her. And she knows I did that. They might know too if they figured out the codewords."

"Good. We can handle that. Let's draw some blood and have the local medics check you over, Mr. Harris. Just in case they implanted something."

"Then I'd get to kill," Xander said. " A lot." But he did follow him to the infirmary on-site. The medics grimaced at the bruising and all the damage but nothing was found to be implanted on any tracker or a full body scanner that could find implanted metal. Nothing plastic because it found that too. So he could relax about that. Though they did find a small incision on his scalp. Almost fully healed. That meant Xander got to have a brain scan. Nothing looked to be missing but it looked like someone had perhaps tried to insert a probe.

So yeah, Xander would get to kill someone a lot. The guards went over what had happened and let him make a statement, then got with Dawn's protection demon. He said someone was following Dawn around the campus but she was leading it to a trap. They got there in time to spare her killing it. Xander slammed it against a wall, cracking the wall. "You probably have some answers I want," he sneered. "And I want them now."

"Xander?" Dawn asked.

"Not now, Dawnie. We need to talk to this interesting being. Who is wearing my t-shirt." The demon swallowed hard. "Now, what the fuck?"

"The scientists wanted to see what made you special," he said, staring over his shoulder at Dawn.

"Don't look at me that way. I'm not saving you. I was going to drown you." She waved a hand in the air. "Not like I won't."

"My job," Xander quipped. He smirked at the demon. "Which scientists? Why was I in that hospital?"

"It's due to be taken down in two days."

"Hmm. Good. And?"

"I don't know!" he wailed. "I was to pick up this one for my master!"

Xander smirked. "Your master and I are gonna talk about his funny ideas. Who is he?"

"Heims."

"You're obviously still sore, sir," the guard said. "We can."

Dawn looked at him, shaking her head. "He's a slaver demon."

"We still can." He stared at her. "Why would someone like Loki have vowed to protect you?"

She smiled. "If I tell you I'll have to let Xander kill you. Sorry but senior Council only secret."

"Then what the Slayer Kennedy said was true?"

"Kennedy said what?" she asked. "Because we knew she was sneaking information she shouldn't have." The guard hissed in her ear. "Partially, and forget that because that makes you a huge ass target."

The guard nodded. "It's not made note of anywhere and only two of us heard that."

"Memory spell," Dawn said simply. "It'll save you and your family. Because there's ones who'd want to know." She stared at him. "There's a reason why I get to be paranoid and have so many watching over my shoulders."

"We found a scalp incision earlier," Xander said. The demon swallowed. "Call your master here, dude."

"He doesn't teleport. He does not do slaves now. He wanted the pretty one to be his to protect. He thinks the Slayer Buffy will thank him."

"Buffy will kill him," Dawn said. "If I don't. I'm not a slayer but I'm just as good as Xander is in my own way."

The demon swallowed hard. "He only wants to protect you."

"I don't need it and I don't want it," Dawn said. "Thank you anyway." She looked at the guard. "What do we do now?"

"I'm going to take out Kennedy," Xander said. "Pity."

Dawn smiled and hugged him, making him moan in pain. "Poor guy. We can go to my apartment and I'll baby you for a bit."

"Thanks, Dawnie. I could use it. I feel like I went against that wrecking ball demon again."

"Wasn't she on a video?"

"No, she was pretending to be him. He had more class and better man boobs." The guarding agent smiled as he followed them. Xander looked back at him.

"We're going to stop this before the news gets out. The tests came back and I'm getting a texted statement on them in about a half-hour, Mr. Harris."

Dawn looked at him then at Xander. "Bloodwork?"

"Yup. No one's sure if Riley spilled."

"I can call and ask," she offered.

"If it was him or his people, you can do a seance."

She smiled. "I can help with that. I love me a bonfire. The college could use a pep rally too."

He grinned and hugged her. "I love that I warped you so much."

The guard was thanking his higher power that he didn't have to see his kids that warped. Though he was happy that it meant those two could help save them all. The president was not going to be amused, especially when he heard who was waiting in Dawn's room. Dawn opened the door and paused in it. "Kennedy," she said. "What're you doing here? I thought you were in the London house."

"I am but someone over there wanted to talk to you so I agreed to set up a meeting." She checked her nails then stood up. "I'm fairly certain he wants to protect you from whoever got Xander."

"We heard who got Xander. It was more Initiative style freaks." Kennedy grimaced. "The Secret Service has him right now."

"That's going to suck when that group comes back again."

"I doubt that'll happen, ma'am," the guard said with a smile. "That's why we're the Secret Service."

Kennedy stared at him then at Dawn. "That's new. Since the battle at that warrior's house?"

"No. We had a demon show up to try to capture me for his slaver master."

"Oh." She grimaced. "The trouble you get into, Dawn."

"And I'm pretty sure that whoever wanted to meet me from London isn't much better."

"He's a mage."

"So?"

"He's not *that* grungy." She pulled her patrol dagger. "Let's go, dear."

Dawn snorted and shook her head. "You don't scare me, Kennedy. And you sure as hell don't scare Xander." He stepped up behind her with a grin and a wave. "See, all rescued."

"You're going to have to go for that," Kennedy said.

Xander shot her in the chest. "Really? Am I?" He looked at the guard. "Non-lethal rounds."

"I noticed. Thank you for that, sir." He called that in and got the area of the dorm evacuated. That helped because Kennedy's 'friends' showed up to take Dawn and take out Xander. Dawn tossed Xander her sword and got out of the way with the guard. The guard looked at her. "I can make sure you don't disappear."

"Please. This is going to get nasty if they know. And if they know, she's dying anyway. We promised her we'd be taking her out if she spilled whatever she read in Tara's journals." Willow appeared with a shriek and Dawn slugged her, knocking her into a wall. "Your bitchy ex girlfriend sold my ass to a mage in London, told him who and what I am, Willow."

"She did not!"

"She did," the agent said firmly. "She just admitted it before Mr. Harris knocked her out, which brought a lot of demons to capture Dawn and kill him."

"So?" she demanded. Dawn hit her again. "How dare you!" She threw magic at Dawn but Dawn absorbed it. "How!"

"Well, gee, dear. What did you expect me to do, cry?" Dawn asked simply then hit her again. "I take after Xander. I have protections on me that absorb spells." She hit her again. Willow went down crying this time. "I've had enough." She found her phone in her pocket and called in. "It's Dawn. I'm calling in an SOS with Rosenburgian levels and a slayer that went rogue to sell my cute ass to a mage in London. My dorm room has just turned into a battleground and Xander's presently taking them out," she said snidely. "I'd *better* get some help."

"I'm taking out my pissy mood on 'em," Xander said.

The voice on the phone said something so Dawn hung up and pulled off a charm from her bracelet to break. Andrew heard and scanned her location plus what had just happened when he saw the fight. Up in Cleveland, a watcher was suddenly finding himself bound to a wall and being eaten by little nibbling robots as Andrew got people moving. "Ladies!" Andrew called into the gym. Everyone stopped. "Dawn called in an SOS of Rosenburg. Kennedy sold Dawn to a mage in London and demons were showing up to collect. Dawn's knocked out Willow, Kennedy's knocked out but not dying yet, and Xander's sore as shit but fighting three demons with a sword in a dorm room."

"Hell," Buffy said.

"Let me," Faith ordered. "If it's about to get nasty, you can't, B." She pointed at a few girls. "C'mon." They got sent by the witches that were local. "Move!" Faith ordered. The students got out of the way and a few hissed. Dawn pointed. The witch that came with them bound Willow while Dawn told her what had happened. Faith leaned into the dorm room. "X, let us. I've got me and three others." He threw a demon at her so she let the younger girls handle it while she helped him with the other two. "You good?"

"Sore as hell," he said. "And really, really angry."

"Cool. We like that when it's necessary." He shot her a grin and punched the new demon that showed up. Faith took it out and they moved the fight to the hallway, a lot more room there to fight the nasties. Dawn potioned a few into goo and the agent shot a few that could be shot because Xander was reaching for his gun anyway. By the time the higher demon and mage showed up, Dawn had had enough. Xander was in the pissy mood of the universe. The slayers were all displeased on an epic PMS level. The mage got taken by the agent. The demon got a potion from Dawn and then Faith and Xander took it on to kill it. It barely got to scream before it died. Faith looked at the mess then at Dawn. "You good?"

"She *sold* my ass to that skanky mage!" she shouted with a point. "We warned her that her snooping was going to get her dead because she broke into a locked safe and read Tara's journals! We need to be missing a slayer. Now!"

"I love that she's on my level of paranoid," Xander said with a smile for her. She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "I feel the same way. Especially since I woke up in a closed hospital, they found new bruises and incisions on me, and there's no telling what sort of stuff they took from me."

Faith stared at him. "They did what?" she asked quietly and coldly. He nodded. "That's what happened?" she asked the agent, who nodded. "They dead?"

"When I find their asses," Xander quipped. The agent's phone rang. "Is that them?"

"Yes, sir." He let him see. "Three are listed as useable," he said quietly.

Xander nodded. "Then I pity Nick Fury if they do since he's the one that told them I was a seer."

The agent winced. "Damn it."

"Yeah." They shared a look then he looked at Faith. "Dawnie, any classes today?"

"I've got to pack up stuff to protect it," she said, pushing back her hair.

"Miss Summers, it's possible we can help with that," the agent said. "But we wanted to know *why*."

"I have magic I can't and won't use," she said.

"All that for this?"

"I told you."

"I have no idea what that means." Xander stepped up to hiss in his ear, making him wince. "I thought it was something like an avatar," he muttered.

"Nope. But it explains Glory." He stepped back, staring at him. "That means you can be a target."

"Yes but I can also get her protected." He looked at her. "You're getting protected."

"That's why I called down the vow of protection when the HYDRA idiots started," she quipped.

"Good! Even if you did have to depend on Loki!" She smiled. He wiped his face off. "All right. Let's get you packed up and arrange for a better, safer dorm room." He called that in. "Sir, I'm at American Uni, I need you here. I need a secondary guard for one Dawn Summers. We just had a demon battle in her room as a slayer tried to sell her. Yes, it's that bad and important, sir."

"Some things are senior Council only," Xander quipped. "Like what we saw earlier."

"Yes, sir, that was and he's right. Get with Agent Jenkins at the White House, sir. He has that information." He hung up and got Dawn into the room to help her pick up and pack things. The dorm monitor was stomping up the hallway and Xander was helping the slayers take care of the remains.

One of the slayers pushed him onto a bench to do it for him. "You're obviously limping. Sit down and be a guy, Xander."

"I'm just sore, Bethie."

She shrugged. "Yay? I'm super strong and I can clean up your mess too." She finished hauling them out and Faith lit them on fire once the other slayer had added the clean up towels they had used. The ladies watched it burn for a minute then walked back over to stare at Xander. "What happened?"

"No clue," Xander admitted, looking up at them. "Woke up in an abandoned hospital that's about to be torn down. Woke up bruised, they found healing incisions and a healing concussion." Faith winced. "Absolutely no clue."

The agent walking their way cleared his throat. "We believe that you took out four agents who were trying to capture you, Mr. Harris."

"I don't remember anything from when I took a nap on the plane after we left Greenland, to when I woke up before dawn today."

The agent nodded. "That's reasonable and we expected that from the statement."

"Was I growling, purring, or hissing?" Xander asked him.

"No. Why would you?"

Xander smiled. "I got possessed by an alpha hyena in tenth grade."

"Oh. Interesting. Not that we're aware of. It seems your recent training in Africa has increased your combat skills enough that you left a few there on the ground but not dead." Xander nodded once. "Which is how we knew what happened."

"Who are they affiliated with? Finn and his group?"

"NID. The same ones that wanted the slayers and got turned down by the president. He's heard by the way. We briefed him about what we found and about what we heard was going on here."

"Kennedy happened here," Faith said.

"Kennedy might've helped Fury too, not sure," Xander admitted. "If she was reading Tara's journals she was around for that Thanksgiving."

"I know that anything in them was probably a Council secret."

"Senior Council, meaning the old Sunnydale team, only," Xander corrected. "Because it was just that important. She admitted she read the journals after that battle in England."

"Great," the agent said. "Is she alive?"

"I used non-killing bullets," Xander said. "Your fellow agent had them loaded."

"Wonderful. We'd like to charge her."

"I'd like to punt her," Xander said. "And her girlfriend that showed up to help protect her. Right now I'm not certain Willow didn't help."

Faith shrugged. "We can ask. She's stomping this way with the witch."

Xander stood up to look at her. "Did you know your girlfriend was spilling information on me and Dawn to someone?" he asked bluntly.

She blinked. "What?"

"She sold info on Dawn to a mage and a demon in London," Xander said. "This was coincidentally right after I got taken for that *Thanksgiving* problem or because I'm a seer. Did you know she told people?"

"It's not that important but no!"

"You know what, tell that to the place in my scalp where they stuck a probe, Willow." She flinched. "Tell that to the agents I had to disable to try to get free of."

"Tell that to the six demons and one mage we just burned because they came for Dawn," Faith said. Willow groaned, shaking her head. "Which Kennedy admitted that she sold info on."

Xander nodded. "I was right behind Dawn when she said it, Willow. Just outside of view. So was the agent in there." She glared at him. "Don't give me that look. I will hurt you. I'm in enough pain right now and paranoid enough to think *everyone* who had knowledge might be involved." She took a step back. "Good idea." He looked at the agent. "So, what did the other higher ups want to have done now?"

"Dawn is getting a bodyguard. We worked with an agent over there, one who you work with, and he raided the mage's things. It had a fascinating book on Dawn." Xander winced. "He also had things set up to sacrifice her." Xander shook his head. "To open portals to six unrealistic realms."

"Figures. And me?"

"You...we're still deciding since you're usually somewhere it's easier to protect yourself from everything but snipers. We realize that being down there is safer. We have no idea what we're doing yet but you and Dawn are going to get a hotel room to share tonight while we work things out. We'll escort you both back to Cleveland tomorrow to talk to Mr. Giles."

"I have a biology final," Dawn called.

"You can have a makeup, Miss Summers," he called back. "We have things we need to figure out for your own safety. If we have to, we'll pick up a copy of the test and you can take in the office under watch." He looked at Willow. "Based on what the agent in England found out, we need to talk about Kennedy anyway, Miss Rosenburg," he sighed. "She's apparently went off the deep end and the British government was considering charging her for not warning about an apocalypse battle. Something about a convergence?"

"The one with Thor," Xander said. "Which is why I nagged. One of the other girls warned."

"We adore the two that actually do the work, Mr. Harris, but the little tartlette and Kennedy both need to be discussed. We understand why London is the punishment house." He smiled at him. "Miss Ericson is doing a few wrong things as well."

"She's one of the slayers that usually handles things. Dating or skipping?"

"Dating. The other one, Miss Eihrone? She's... well, the agents over there just call her the tartlette. Apparently she's good for club hunting because that's all she does."

"That's why we moved her from Chicago's house to there," Xander said. "We were hoping someone like Gloria's mom would straighten her out. She was Council raised and is now reveling in the freedom."

"It's about time she found a leash."

"Don't tempt me," Xander warned with a grin. "There's been a few girls I wanted to yank."

"You?" Faith snorted. "I've wanted to yank a few's leashes. Her included. Though, B did give her fashion advice so that's why she's a hoochie mama light."

"Do you really go out looking like that?"

"B grew up an LA princess," Faith said. "Cheerleader and all."

"Ah, that explains the extra fashionably short skirts." He nodded. "We can figure things out in the morning. Let us get Mr. Harris and Miss Summers somewhere safer. We'll have an agent take you ladies back to the airport if you want."

"We can camp and go back with them incase," one of the younger ones said, grinning at Dawn. "You can help me figure out how to do my hair for my date on Saturday."

Xander groaned, holding his head. "Damn it, they made it worse." He got helped back onto the bench. He blinked away the tears, looking at her. "Bethie, no date. You don't want to be sacrificed." She pouted but nodded. "There's six of them. Some of the weenies that didn't get caught. Yeah, they're going to do something to the girls." Faith petted his hair while he made notes.

"Maybe as you heal that pain will ease some," the agent said quietly. Xander looked up at him. "It might."

"It feels like it's pulling now instead of just an ache. Did I have stitches?"

"Yes."

"Great."

"Have you ever had a CT so we can compare it?"

"After the multiple princess demons I think."

"We'll get them from New York."

"If not, ask the neurologist where they hid them." He grinned. "I think he found my brain fascinating and I had a skull fracture then."

"I can do that." He called that in. The office up there could grab those easily enough. If not, they could ask Stark to hack them perhaps. They got the two protected ones and the slayers to a nice enough hotel, getting them checked in and resting for now while plans were discussed and made so the slayers could learn to like them. They'd even help on date nights.

***

Xander walked into the main house, dodging the grab attempt. "I'm really sore, Sochi. Sorry." She pouted but nodded. "Grab Dawn for me." She ran out to pounce Dawn as soon as she got out or the car. Xander walked into the kitchen. "We need a private talk. You, me, Giles, his other heir apparent, and Buffy. We need it sealed tightly so none of the others can hear. We have Secret Service coming in once Dawn's finished with her biology final in the car."

"Did I do something?" Andrew asked.

"No. But Kennedy sure as shit did." He grinned. "England and the US want to put her up for quiet treason charges."

Andrew winced, nodding. "Let me go ward the office. Giles is in his bedroom changing because one of the girls vomited on him. They made their own midnight snacks." Xander grinned. "Are you okay?"

"No."

"Okay." He called Giles down to the office and got the others that needed in there. Buffy came in last, pausing to pat her sister on the shoulder. Andrew finished the wards and Giles frowned but helped. "Xander said so," he said at the odd looks.

Xander waved from his seat. "I'm convening this special, silent, meeting to order. Yeah, it's that way, Buffy."

She sat down with a sigh. "How bad was it?"

"Kennedy's wanted in two countries on quiet treason charges," he said. She moaned and shook her head. "One of them for selling Dawn to a mage in London. Who nicely begged for his life in jail all night. I thought we had burned him but the ladies left him in the hallway."

"I'm Senior Special Agent Miller, Mr. Giles. I'm going to be Dawn's guardian angel while she's in DC for the next four months. I'll be over her case myself and assigning agents to protect her." He put down the file. "This is what the agents we worked with in England found among the mage's things. It was an agent your people have worked with in the past who did the searching."

Giles looked at it, grimacing. "That is bad. I see other files?"

"On the kidnaping and medical results of Mr. Harris," he said, putting that on the desk. "On the plan to guard him whenever he needs us to because he's back in the US." He put that one down. "The plans to guard Dawn Summers." That file got laid down. "And also the plot to take out the slayers that was from the vision he had yesterday." He laid that down and stepped back. Andrew summoned in another chair so he could sit down. "Mr. Wells, have you removed those nanites?"

"Yesterday. I finally killed that virus."

"Thank you."

"So they stole Xander to experiment on him like the Initiative used to do?" Buffy asked while Giles read.

"Brain probe," Xander said. "Makes the visions hurt worse."

She looked him over. "You okay otherwise?"

"A lot of bruising, a healing concussion, a constant headache, and I'm a bit more paranoid than usual since the Secret Service ran bloodwork to see what the other idiots found. They can use some of it." She slumped, staring at him. He nodded.

"We did find out that Director Fury was not the reason he was kidnaped. One of his agents ordered it and he had no idea by his reaction. Agent Hill nearly lost her temper but sent two teams to take any samples they had and destroy them, plus whoever had them." He smiled at Xander. "They'll track down any missing samples as well."

"HYDRA people?"

"Not that we're aware of. We're hoping not." Giles stared at him. "Three could be used for less than savory purposes against humanity, Mr. Giles." Giles grimaced but went back to reading. He looked at Xander again. "We do have some concerns that people where you're working may be willing to take the price on your head to raise some money."

"Which price?" Xander asked. "The one from high school? The new one from the assholes I rescued Gloria from? The corrupt one that we found out was possessed?"

"Yes, we found all those and another one," the agent said. He handed that file over from the pile on the desk. Xander read it and grimaced. "How did that group come to your attention?"

Xander grinned. "We made them come help save themselves and they hated it."

"How?"

"It was a matter of the demons going toward two orphanages and a school or their camp. So we led them to the camp and we did call in a warning about the demons showing up there. Afterward we thanked them for their help and for saving the kids in those schools. They weren't pleased but their anger went right past the cleric who reminded them they had just defeated a great evil. It ended up letting the local military bust in to take some of that camp down later on. They did the normal thing and got really drunk after the battle." Giles stared at him. "Assholes who take in kids to be soldiers or innocent kids in a school, Giles?"

"I have no problem with that decision. Why do they want you dead for that?"

"Because it led to their camp there being busted," Xander said. The agent nodded.

"Ah, I see." He went back to reading, handing the one folder to Buffy. "Where is Willow?"

"Fuck if I care," Xander said. Giles winced at that. "She tried to defend Kennedy, even after hearing what she had done."

"I'm so glad I got to punch her a few times," Dawn said. Buffy looked at her. "What? I did take self defense lessons. It's important I do more of them too."

"She had bad form but it was a nice punch," the agent said. "The agent on site said that it knocked her into a wall a few times."

Buffy looked at her sister. "Are you okay?"

"Livid. I had six demons coming into my dorm room, the battle against three of them in there until they could get them into the hallway, I'm not getting my security deposit back, and I'll be damned if I don't have to wash every single piece of clothing I have due to slime and blood."

"We can shop," Buffy offered.

"I might take you up on that if Andrew can't let me use the washer."

"I've got today's laundry already done. I can help with that, Dawn." She hugged him. "Why six demons?"

"Six demons and the mage," Xander said with a grin for him.

"Oh." He winced, looking at Dawn, who nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Really, really mad." He cuddled her for now. It'd help her calm down.

Xander looked at Buffy. "I'm past my usual paranoia all the way to Mad Eye Moody levels."

She nodded. "It sounds like a good idea, Xander. Are the minis going to be safe around you if they show up?"

"They have been so far when others showed up. We learned about the idiots who hurt kids because they showed up." She slumped, shaking her head. He grinned. "We handled it."

"The president found a different site that listed more of the battles," Agent Miller said. "He was not happy but he did thank Mr. Harris for that bit of service."

"If we know about those, we'll nag," Buffy said. "Us nagging Xander means he huffs off to go find another mini to train."

"We can go over it with Mr. Giles later, Miss Summers. By the way, Mr. Giles, who is your heir apparent since Miss Rosenburg is going to be in jail until her hearing?"

"She is?" he asked.

"Yes. She's considered extremely dangerous. Mostly because she went after her girlfriend in the county jail we were using to store them. It fell on their heads." Xander shook his head with a sigh. "She's vowed she'll go back to when she had the magic addiction so she can go back to using memory spells and the like."

"We can calm her down," Buffy said. "How long before she can come home?"

"That may depend on how much of Kennedy's misdeeds she knew about."

"She had a shrieking, girlfriend abuse fit at Warrior Kreth's house because she found out Kennedy had somehow read Tara's journals," Xander said. "The warriors were not amused."

"I wouldn't be either but that's good to know. Were they specially stored?" Giles pointed at his safe. "So she broke in?"

"Somehow," Giles agreed. "As for my heir to this seat, I'll have to consider that and the damage they could do."

Buffy shook her head. "I'll take Faith's old cell for killing some of them. They won't bring back the old ways around my mini slayers."

Xander nodded. "I'd help her do that."

Giles nodded. "That's why I'd need to consider it, children." He went back to reading, grimacing at what he saw. "This is correct?" he asked, letting the agent see that section.

"We triple checked it, Mr. Giles. We didn't want to believe it either."

"What?" Xander asked at Giles scowl.

"Gold mine," he said.

"Oh, that demon. I'm not a dwarf or a slave. I'm not mining things for him. Definitely not as cheerfully as he thought humans should be thanks to a certain Disney movie. He certainly wasn't Snow White either."

"Is that why you didn't report that?" Buffy asked, smirking at him.

"Partially. There's other reasons." Giles nodded once and flipped the page. "As he's probably coming to?" Giles nodded again, then flipped the page. He shot Xander a dirty look. "Oh, now he's there."

Giles closed the folder, staring at him. "I would like reports on this sort of thing."

"Then you're not where I think you are yet."

"Is this like your warning to take a nap?"

Xander got up to get him a drink, handing it over. "Yes." He went to hover by the doorway.

"Xander, toss me some water," Buffy said. Giles went back to reading. Yup, he needed the drink. Then he nearly crushed the glass. "Was that it?"

"No. That's the lead up to the bad thing. I was getting free during that part. And then help arrived." The glass cracked that time. Xander winced. Giles stood up and glared at him. He stared back. "It's not my fault. Though that's why I didn't send in that report. Can you imagine if Willow had gotten hold of it?"

"Dearly." He huffed. "What happened after you had to steal the artillery?"

"Not a lot. A few days going 'ow'. Cleaning up the mine's mess and getting the others he had captured to help. Talking the locals into not reopening it. That was helped by the huge head they found when they undid the rockslide that I used to close it." Giles sat down, slumping and staring at him. Xander sat down too. "That's why I don't report those things, Giles. Beyond that, had nothing to do with the slayers."

"How many of these sort of incidences are there?" Giles demanded.

"Ten, maybe if you're being real inclusive."

"I see." He stared at him. "I'd like those too."

"And the day I get to walk out the door I'll hand you the web address so you can get find out and you can have the raging fit you'll want to have while I'm on a plane." He stared at him. "Because my second month in Africa I started to run into those nice temples? And one of them *really* thought I was a pretty human girl."

Giles cleared his throat. "Really?" Xander nodded. "Messy?"

"By the time I got done? Yup. The locals complained about the destruction but it was necessary and they did get back the eight generations of slaves that she had. She had done some magic to keep them from aging so fast."

Giles sighed, getting up to get another drink and clean up the old one. Thankfully the glass had been empty when he had crushed it. "You're going to drive me batty, Xander."

"Which is why I didn't report those. They had nothing to do with the slayers and we'd like to keep you sane for as long as possible."

"As would I. I should show her."

"Giles, don't make me get something to take out a witch," he said. "Because I'd do that."

"Yes, that would probably require something of that sort." He took a drink of the soda. "Are the others worse or better than that?"

"Three worse."

"Yes, I'll take that information on the day you go back on rounds or whatever. How long should it take?"

"At least a week plus more for hangover recovery." Buffy stared at him, head tipped to the side. "You don't get to see. Nothing to do with the slayers, Buffy."

"I'm going to have to swat you to remind you you're just a guy, right?"

He looked at her. "I'd hit you back."

"Oh. Okay." She looked at the agent. "Is he going to hide from the girls forever?"

"Quite possibly with the way some of you nag him," the agent said with a smile.

Xander nodded. "Thankfully Mia's all right. A few guys tried to grab her but Yihana's watcher was bringing them for the mass meeting and got her back." He rubbed his forehead. "He thinks I'm warping the girls from the fine old ways still."

Giles grimaced. "We'll talk with him soon, Xander." He read over the other files. "How many know this about Dawn?"

"Two of us, the president, and there's a sealed file with the head of the Secret Service. That way we can make sure that there's no further problems. Any others that Slayer Kennedy may have shared with are presently being hunted down because we believe they're with the same people that would want Mr. Harris' blood."

Giles nodded. "I can see why. That's a relief in many ways." Dawn smirked at him. "The ones who wanted Xander for other reasons?"

"Gone I hope. We're making sure this week." Xander grinned at him. "That does leave a bit of a problem with the death threats on him. The ones that want him for being a seer."

"Thankfully none have been religious seekers," Xander quipped.

"That is good. Is he in trouble for sharing that?"

"Oh, yes. The president has been chewing on him for the last three days. Especially when it was noted that someone could use his blood to make something very bad." Xander nodded with a grimace.

"Wouldn't the things that work on other germs work on his?"

"Buffy, anytime you get a virus, it mutates in your body," Dawn said. "So it's just yours and it infects you. That's how you get versions that don't work with any treatment. Think about Xander's past blood stuff." Buffy winced, shaking her head. "Not only the mermaid stuff but the hellmouth taint itself changed it. Plus later ones would warp them some more." Xander nodded once. "There's no treatment for hellmouth tainted stuff." She looked at the agent. "That's not being shared with the big dickhead, right?"

"No," the agent said. "It is not and it's not somewhere he can hack either." Dawn smiled. "How many others have that sort of problem within the Council?"

"None. Xander is quite in a league of his own on things like that happening to him."

"Wonderful." He smiled. "So let's go over how we can help you help them, Mr. Giles. That way all your people who need to know certain things, like Mr. Wells, have the information they need."

Dawn patted Andrew on the wrist with a grin. "This way when you send me cookies you send extra for my new guard."

He hugged her. "I love how warped you are."

"Thank you." She gave him a squeeze. "You need a vacation."

"Probably. The girls would poison themselves. Two have this week."

"We can handle it," Giles assured him.

"If I'm around I can help. It's been years but I do know the basics of cooking thanks to a few older jobs and doing it for myself," Xander said. Andrew grinned. "Go visit your condo of evil genius."

"Nah, that's too tempting. I'll go visit my other one."

"Sure," Buffy said. "Let us know. If we absolutely have to, we can order a few times and have leftovers."

"I can teach someone how to use the crockpot," Andrew assured her. Giles smiled. "That way we're not all broke from the pizzas."

"Thank you," Giles said. "The girls do eat more than some professional football teams I think."

"We need it," Buffy huffed.

"Did you ever notice you eat less when you're dating?" Xander asked her.

"No. I do?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. I know sometimes I patrol less." She considered it. "We can get Faith a date."

"We'll figure that out later," Giles said. "For now, let's work on the safety of two of our members." He looked at Xander. "If I looked at those would there be other governments that would complain?"

"No. We trained them in how to come find me or one of the older slayers if something's bigger than a lot of standard things or needs more than a bullet. They hate it when it happens but they're glad they've got someone who can handle it. Sometimes they call first and I just give them advice. Then half the time they ignore it ever happened once it's all cleaned up."

Giles smiled. "That's very handy and well done, Xander." Xander grinned. "The others in Asia and South America?" Xander nodded they did the same thing. "Wonderful ideas. Especially with so many young slayers." He looked at the agent. "Are you proposing that he'll be guarded only here in the US?"

"That's the easiest option. He's a good enough hand at it in the wilds."

"Practice," Xander quipped.

"I'm sure it was," Buffy said, giving him an odd look.

Xander nodded. "Lots of practice. Plus hunting for food."

She grimaced. "Eww." She looked at her sister. "Are you going to turn into Xander?"

"Yup, I seem to need to." She shrugged and crossed her legs. "Especially if those charming people that want to bleed me start to show up again. I don't think I could go with him on his rounds to be safer so I've got to do it. So I'm going to a higher level self defense lesson in a few weeks. When the new semester starts. Which takes out my later latin lessons, Giles. Sorry."

"It's fine, Dawn. You must be able to protect yourself." He looked at the agent. "How can we help you make sure she's safe?"

"Fortunately we're very good at it and she's not that hard to guard at the moment."

***

Tony Stark walked up to Nick Fury and slugged him. "That's from the people that Rogers found trying to cook down Harris' blood to make a bio bomb." He walked off after dropping the report. "He's healing in the infirmary so couldn't deliver it himself."

"Is he infected?" Hill called after him.

"No. Just a few new wounds to add to his scar collection." He looked at her. "I'm pretty sure that not even you guys had a file on that before outing him. By the way, he probably said thanks too since the Secret Service now has him and another member of the Council to guard." She winced. He left, going back to the tower.

She looked at the file while Fury cleaned up his split lip. "This is bad. What were they hoping to cook it down to get?" She went to find that information. It wasn't on any computer network. His file listed 'has been sick in the past' and left it there. She huffed but called Xander, getting his voicemail. "I have the report from Captain America, Xander. I need to go over it with you to see if you knew about them. Thank you." She hung up. She handed the report to her boss and let him read it. "Maybe we should give an agent to him to train."

"I doubt any of ours would handle him in the wild." He handed it back before stomping off.

She grimaced. This was looking like a bad thing. They needed to take those groups down anyway but now it was more important.

***

Xander walked into Mia's village, catching her when she launched herself at him to cuddle. "I'm okay. They found me and I'm okay." She clutched him so he walked her home. His phone beeped with a message. //Do stay down there until the urge to kick you in your arse retreats. That one temple was not necessary as it was reported. Though handy I'm sure, but still not necessary.// Xander wrote back that it was because she had been emoting all over the area to drive the humans away. Then he put his phone back. A second message. //Also, if I should hear that you take on a war band of humans again, I believe we will have to have a talk with some professional about your sanity levels, Xander. Do stop that before I make you my heir to all this.//

Xander wrote back that it was necessary. He was on his way to remove a slayer from their grip. Giles' answer back was mostly swearing so he let it go before Giles had a heart attack or something. He got two more ranting text messages that night but Mia took his phone after the last one to chide him back about Xander doing what he had to do to protect all them and if he didn't like it, he could lump it because he was mean to Xander. That would mean Xander would quit and leave them without him. All the girls in Africa appreciated Xander for doing things, even if the others didn't. Then she put her name at the bottom and sent it. She cuddled up with Xander again, going over her new reading assignment with him. Xander took the phone to send Giles a site and password so he could see his real reports, not just the demon reported things. He didn't get another complaining text message for a month.

***

Giles walked out to the kitchen the next morning, looking rough. "I was wrong, Xander did have reasons for most of those. I need to apologize to him for that." Andrew looked at him. "He finally gave me his report site."

"I've seen that."

"You have?" Giles demanded.

"He said someone has to know." He gave him some tea and toast.

"Thank you, Andrew. Are there things not on there?"

"Not that I know of." Giles nodded, walking off sipping so he could read the rest of the reports he hadn't gotten. This was very bad. Xander had apparently gotten the mannerisms of an action hero.

He had to make sure his other field watchers didn't have the same sort of problems or manners of handling things.

***

Xander walked into the town of holy mess. One of the military guys tried to stop him. "I've already had it, I can't get it again." The soldier glared. So he repeated it. "I'm trained in construction. I can go find survivors. It's not going to make me sick to do that." He got around him and went to find the field commander. "Sir."

"You're... this was a demon?"

"No, this was an idiot human group," Xander said. "But from the news reports, I've already had what they spread and I've worked construction. Let me help look for survivors."

"We can allow that. You'll still need at least a mask." Xander held up his work gloves and took the safety gear with him to the site. He made that note about the guy's reasons. Others had shown up that had the disease they stated was spread around. This one was just a bit weirder than they were.

Xander nodded at the crew lead. "I worked construction for three years and was a team leader," he said. "Let me help."

"Go to the west quadrant," he said with a point.

Xander nodded, carefully moving that way to help the retrieval teams. They had hunting dogs too. He got the first few problems solved and braced so the remains didn't fall on their head too. That helped and they got a group of people that were in a former store of the former mall. Xander looked. "If we can brace three areas, we can spread out from here." That got reported back and the site manager came in. "Brace around there and there," he said with a point. "It'll let us get to the stores between the sections."

"That was all atrium and glass," he said. "Where the bomb was set off."

Xander winced. "Any hope?"

"Not that we know of."

"Have the dogs look?" Xander suggested. The site manager nodded, calling them in. They hit on a body but not anywhere nearby with the way they were digging. Xander moved in to dig it out. "We have a baby!" he called. "Dead mom, she shielded her!" They got a medical team in to grab the kid. Xander moved with the dog to dig wherever it hit. A few more survivors in bad shape. The other areas were doing the same thing. By that night they had everyone accounted for. Xander came out, taking off the safety gear and putting his sunglasses back on. He nodded at the site manager. "If you need me, let me know."

"We know you know explosives."

Xander came over to look at the pictures they had of the incident. "It's not that hard, made with fertilizer. We did it sometimes on the construction site." He watched it more slowly and the explosion itself. "He's not praying first." They stared at him. "There's no shout of anything, no muttered prayers." He looked at them. "Wouldn't they usually do that?"

"They would," an officer agreed. "Who're you?"

"Watcher Xander Harris. I'm over the African slayers." He shook his hand. "I'm also a former construction worker and had the measles you guys said was released."

"Thank you for your help." He looked. "He's not praying. You're right. That is weird."

Xander nodded. "Also, someone weakened that support. It's got cracks," Xander said with a point. "The eastern roof might've held if not. I can't see if the others were."

"They were cracked late last year due to an event," the site manager said. "They said they were fixing it."

Xander nodded. "Clearly." The guy smiled. "Let me know if I can be of some help." He shook their hands. "I'm going to get a motel room and clean up." He left, going to do that. One of the medics stopped him to check him over. "I've had measles, ma'am."

"That's good." She smiled. "Thank you for helping."

"I've got the skills to do that. I should help." He grinned and slipped out, going to a cheap nearby hotel he'd stayed in before. Now all he had to worry about was if they used his blood to do that.

***

Dawn hung up and looked at her guard. He was just now assigned to her this week. "Xander wanted to know if that bomb was related to him."

"Who's Xander?"

"They were supposed to brief you about Xander, Steve."

He called that in, listening to his supervisor wonder. Then he found the file that said who to call. They did and that one told him. He hung up. "The regional director said no it wasn't from his source. He also said I'm to tell them when he comes back to the US?"

"Yeah, for the same reason I am."

"Okay. Why doesn't he have an agent on him?"

"Xander's our guy training slayers in Africa."

"Oh. Him. Okay." He nodded once. "Understood. Tell me when he tells you he's coming back."

"Of course." She smiled. "As long as it's not because we're in the middle of an emergency. They can pull him for those."

"Those we'll handle too."

"That'd be nice." She shrugged, getting things together. "I've got a study date tonight with Maria."

"That's fine. At the library or the coffee shop?"

"Library. She thought it'd be easier on you." She grinned.

"She's sweet but too young for me." He followed her out to the street then up to the library. Dawn was easy enough to guard. She didn't do anything wild, no parties, no druggie friends. It was a great job until someone tried to attack her to get back at the slayers. He was there for the second one that week. And the same thing happened as last time - the demon died.

Dawn smiled at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's get you safely somewhere."

"I'm fine. You handle this. If they try me on the last few feet to the library I'll handle it." He scowled but she walked off. "We're back by the 500's usually."

"Thanks for the warning." He called that attack in and got someone to come clean up his mess. Some day the demons really would learn.

***

Xander sighed after the battle, staring at the mess. "Fuck," he said quietly.

The slayers that had been sent to him looked at him. "Xander, you're injured," one said in as normal of a voice as she could. "You're really injured. Buffy's going to kill us."

"I'll live."

"We're not sure of that with the blood on you," the other one said.

Xander looked at himself then at them. "Only half's mine from that slice into my side." They nodded, coming over to make him go see the medics. They nicely freaked out at the blood and got him stripped so they could check him over. "That's not as bad," he said, looking at his side. "When the hacks took out my appendix they didn't get the hole fully sealed and I got to look at my intestines for a few days." The girls and the nurses winced at that. "I'll be okay. Just need some stitches."

"And some blood," a nurse said.

Xander looked at her, shaking his head. "It'll cause problems."

"He has hellmouth taint that makes giving him blood go weird like he's had other things," one of the slayers said. Xander nodded, pointing at her.

"We can mix it. That way your body won't reject it." She got the senior surgeons in to handle his injuries while she got the blood.

The surgeon looked at the guy's injuries. "How are you still awake and not begging from the pain?"

Xander shrugged and grimaced, holding one of them. "I've had worse. This time last year I had two broken legs from that one battle."

"Uh-huh." He looked at the slayers. "Your injuries?"

"We're healing slowly but going well," one reported. "We'll let the nurses do bandaids while you fix Xander. We can't lose Xander."

"I'll do my best." The nurse hooked up the blood and mixed in a line of his with it. The doctor nodded, not asking why. They were off to surgery.

The slayers shared a look then one shook her head. "I'm not telling Buffy," she said.

"Someone took film, girls," a general said. They smiled. "We'll send it to her if you'd like." They nodded, giving over Buffy's email address and one for Giles too. They sent in a text message that a battle video report was on its way. A few minutes later Giles asked for injuries and needs. They said Xander was out of weapons again and was in surgery to clean up the cuts on his sides and back. They were healing but letting the nurses help. The slayers got to get more stitches when a higher demon showed to take them out for being young, injured, and tired. Xander got a worse injury because he had to defend the doctor and nurses but the demon died and that was the important thing.

***

Xander woke up on the plane, blinking at the guy next to him. "Who're you?" he asked quietly.

"Secret Service, Mr. Harris. Dawn Summers told us you were coming back so we're helping." Xander blinked hard but nodded. "Rest. We've got another four hours before we get to a US hospital. I've got your safety." Xander nodded, letting himself drift off again. The agent went back to his book. Unless a demon tried to take out the plane they'd be okay. There was an ambulance waiting on the other side for them. Xander should've been on a bed but the slayers pointed out that it'd make him seem weaker and he'd get attacked again. They were further back in the plane napping against each other with another agent watching over them. They could handle this.

***

"You ever feel like just screaming 'fuck' at the top of your lungs?" Dawn asked her guard, who was unfortunately unconscious at the moment. "Because I sure as shit do." She pulled up the magic she didn't use and created a shield around them while calling her sister. "My guard is down, there's six demons trying to eat me and a buddy, and one of my friends here turned out to be out to get me. Is there a slayer near DC?" She listened.

"I can keep up the shield for a few more minutes but that's going to draw attention, Buffy. Yeah, he's knocked out. Thanks." She hung up and patted the agent down to get his phone. "Hi, it's Dawn Summers and the owner of this phone was my guardian for the moment. He's presently unconscious thanks to a demon attack on us. No, he's not awake, dude. As in they hit him on the head and he's out." She huffed. "Just let his supervisor know please?" She hung up and put the phone back into his pocket.

"I so need to set up a paranoid person compound," she muttered, adding more energy to the shield. A new demon came sniffing over. "Shoo." She pointed. "I healed your head bitch the other day. Do me that favor." It brayed and brought the rest of the pack. "Great. Thanks a lot for repaying the healing." She waved at it. It sniffed and got happy too. She pointed at the officers. "Takes silver," she called. "My Secret Service guard is down." She pointed at him. "I can't hold this forever."

"Just silver?" the officer called.

"Yeah, just silver. It'll kill three of the six out there trying to kill us too."

"Are you a hunter?"

"No, I'm a sister of a slayer."

"Oh!" He nodded, calling that in. That got agents there to help. They were making a new hunting team for the city.

Dawn waved. "Silver! You need silver! The other three need beheaded!" The agents nodded, taking out the pack first and then the demons that attacked them. Dawn sighed, relaxing her shield. She got grabbed by the hair and fought back. Her guard had started to carry special bullets. They wouldn't kill this one but they'd sure make her miserable. She fired off into the demon's head, making it shriek and drop her. Dawn rubbed her scalp. "Could use a sword," she called. "Really a whole lot."

"Shut up, Dawn. Let us," one of them called.

She looked back then moved her guard out of the way. The new demon showing up needed magic to kill. "Fuck me," she muttered. "Right up the ear canal." The demon laughed. "Go. Away. Don't make me pull up shit I don't want to use."

"You won't. It would expose you."

Dawn shrugged. "Magic comes in all colors, dude." She called up magic. The demon lunged so she shot it at him. Just a large ball of it. The demon screamed as it dissolved. She panted a few times then looked around, pulling magic back in.

Her study buddy was shaking her head. "No, you're not that powerful. You're a minor witch I can sacrifice for power!"

"Duh! No I'm not!" She slugged her, knocking her down. "Never have been." One of the agents grabbed her arm so she fought him off. "Let go!" He let go and stepped back, hands up. "Fuck this and you!"

The agent nodded. "Definitely. Can you calm down? Your aura's out, Miss Summers." She sighed but pulled it back in. "Good job. Thank you for protecting your guard. The local slayer's in Virginia today handling a nest. Thankfully the PD alerted us."

"I used his phone to call his last number used since it said it was an agent."

"It's another multi-level attack," the agent said. "Xander got attacked this morning. He's on his way to a US hospital now under guard with two of the slayers that he had to get help from." She swallowed but nodded, walking off to get sick in a bush. "Sure, that's a great thing," he agreed, following her. "Call your sister?"

"I already did once."

"Okay. Let her know you're safe."

She spit a few times, standing up to stare at him while using the back of her hand to wipe off her mouth. "Am I? I've seen you in a few of Buffy's pictures."

"We don't want to hurt you or do anything like that. I got assigned to the DC hunting team because of that but I'm using slayer approved methods." Dawn nodded. "We can go back to your apartment. Let me get him an ambulance." One was already waiting so they ran over.

Dawn looked at one. "His phone's in his front pants pocket on the left facing him," she called. "He's my guard." The paramedic nodded. "His ID case is in his back pocket." They found it and nodded at the badge. "Thank you. Take good care of him please? She knocked him out from behind with a thrown rock."

"We will. Do you need any treatment?" the paramedic asked.

Dawn shook her head. "I just need some meditation to control my temper." The paramedics nodded and took the agent off. Dawn looked at the hunting team. "My apartment's up the street."

"That's fine. I'm Agent Hillers. I'm in command of the local hunting team."

She waved a hand. "Dawn Summers. Apparently my study buddy thought I was a minor witch she could sacrifice."

"Where are you on Rosenburg's levels?" he asked.

"I'm not answering that. I'm paranoid about that stuff and I can't really use my magic." They nodded. "It just happens now and then when I get really mad."

"Good," they agreed, walking her off. This was going to be a bad night. Within twenty minutes they were relieved of duty by the Secret Service, who got Dawn to a building that was shielded and sealed so she could vent and then calm down. It was her former usual guard, now back from injury leave.

***

Buffy stared at the extra large demons facing her. She looked at Faith and the two minis behind them. They were on a training hunt because it should've been weak tonight. "Ladies, set off your beacons," she ordered. She looked around then at Faith. "Get them out of here, Faith."

"Shut up, B. They can run."

"Faith. Take them to safety." Faith moved back to guard the two minis. Officers and agents showed up. "Get the two young ones," Buffy yelled. "Just get them out of here." One of the demons laughed. The officers shot at the demons surrounding their backs, grabbing the girls to get them out of there once one fell. She and Faith shook hands. "Tell my mom I said hi?"

"Sure thing, B, and tell her I said the same."

"I can do that." They dove in to fight the bigger demons. More of the senior slayers showed up by the time Buffy fell to a huge fist to the head. She'd live but she wasn't going to like it for weeks. Faith got clawed pretty good and fell as the girls made it to their sides. Andrew floated them out.

One slayer got out of a police car and walked over. "Ladies, it's a Xander moment," she called. She threw the box in there. One of them set it off as the others ran. Andrew shielded her so she managed to just go flying and get a lot of bruises from knocking down a tree. She sat up rubbing her chest. "Damn I ache." She looked at the mess. Two demons left. She got up and went to help but one of the paramedics stopped her. "I'm fine."

"Shut up," the officer ordered. "You're injured. They can handle it. I've seen them both take out some huge things." He led her off with the paramedic. "We don't usually see you."

"I'm Slayer Gloria." They nodded. "Xander was working on my training in Africa last year."

"That explains why you got the higher weapon," the officer quipped. "Is he okay?"

"Debatable." They nodded, letting her get an ice pack. When one of the slayers fell, and onto her sword, she hopped back up and went to deal with that demon. She was joined by her mentor and another one. "Hey, guys."

"Did you really take that week off?" Natasha Romanoff demanded.

"Six days of it but I was getting in snuggly healing time." She shot her a look. "I needed it." She ducked the arrow. "Hey, Mr. Barton."

"Clint, Gloria." He got out of the way of Steve Rogers jumping in. That helped.

Gloria picked up a dropped sword, tossing it to Natasha. "Beheading?"

"Beheading works on most things." The two demons fell and one more came up screaming and crying. It fell on one of the dead ones then lunged at them. Gloria cut her head off. Natasha looked at her. "Are you all right?"

"I hit the tree."

"I saw."

"I'm just sore." She grinned slightly. "How's Xander?"

"Much more sore. He had two battles today." Gloria winced. "They'll be landing in Virginia in another hour or so."

"Let's hope this time people don't capture him and leave him in a closed hospital they're about to demolish." Gloria looked back. "Are they okay?" she yelled.

"Yes, ma'am," one of the paramedics called. "Badly cut but they're taking her directly to surgery. Summers' skull isn't broken. Faith's cut but needs stitches, not surgery."

Gloria nodded, calming down on her way back to check on the minis. "Thank you, guys. You helped a lot." She opened the police car door, looking at the girls. "Buffy's got shit timing like she has shit taste in men," she said bluntly. They got out to hug her. She cuddled back. "We handle things so others don't have to but you're too young to help with the big stuff yet." She looked at them. "Do the reports?"

"No thank you," one said.

"Sorry, someone's got to. I need gatorade." They huffed but did that with the officers. Gloria looked back at the team there. "Thanks for coming, guys."

"We had three larger ones attacking New York earlier. Stark had to blow them up and the Hulk had to beat another one," Clint said, strolling over. "You need more than an ice pack. Your shirt's tight and you can see the rib." He pointed.

She looked then shrugged. "It's been like that. It's not broken. But thank you." She hugged his arm then walked off. "Let's smoke these critters." The two younger ones came over to help with the clean up. Andrew did too. It helped them all calm down.

"Reports from DC say that Dawn's fine," Natasha said, looking at her phone.

Gloria stood up. "They attacked Dawn? Did she destroy the city?" Steve stared at her. "Dawn isn't supposed to be using her magic. She learned how in case she needed to pull up a shield or something but she's not supposed to be using her magic at all."

"She's fine. The agent with her is down but he'll heal," Natasha said, getting that report. Gloria sighed but nodded. "Xander's plane landed a bit early. They're fine. Those two are going with him to the hospital to guard him." Gloria nodded again. "Must we do this?"

"Yup. They could have germs," one of the minis said, lighting the pile on fire. "There. Cheery even." She walked off with the others. "Gloria?"

"I'll be there soon, ladies." They nodded. She smiled at Natasha. "I remember being their age."

"Thankfully I don't," she admitted but smiled at her protege. "Go lead the house. I will see you when you get back to New York."

"Thanks." She hugged her briefly then shook Clint and Steve's hands before walking off. A vampire jumped out of a bush at her so she staked him. "Wow, you really want us to stay stressed?" she asked the ashes. She walked into the house. "Ladies, house meeting!" she yelled. "Fall in to the tv room!" The girls came running down the stairs. "Buffy and Faith will be fine," she told them all. "Faith's going to have stitches. Buffy's got a concussion at least most likely." They nodded. "This was part of someone's plot as there were attacks where Xander was, in New York, here, in DC on Dawn." A few winced. "We're all okay, though Xander's going to be in the hospital for a while." She looked at them. "For now, I'm going to cut off mini training trips."

"Why are you in charge?" one of the senior ones asked.

"Xander said so. I'm Gloria." She smiled.

"Oh, yeah, you're getting extra training and stuff." She nodded. "I can agree with that. No training trips. We're on paranoid bitch status?" Gloria smiled and nodded. "We can do that. Is Dawn all right?"

"I was told she lost her temper but not fully since DC's still standing." A few smiled. "Xander's battle had a battle, then he had to get up off the surgical table where he was getting stitches to defend the doc and nurses." They all groaned. "It's a plot. One attacked New York and Stark had to beat them up with the Hulk." The girls looked at each other. "For now, we're going to let Andrew decide on school. Because we're not sure if it'll happen there or not."

"Hey, a free day," one quipped. "No sparring so we're not too tired in case something happens."

"Report any and all visions or slayer dreams," Gloria ordered. "So sleep in shifts?" They nodded. "Good girls. And ladies." She smiled. "We'll deal with it and someone call all the other houses to put them on notice." They moved to do that. She went to report to Giles, who was in the kitchen making tea. "Mr. Giles."

"Well done, Gloria," he said quietly, smiling at her. "Some day you'll make an excellent senior slayer." He patted her on the cheek. "I can agree with all those. Andrew is calming down in the pantry. We'll handle it. I'm on the way to the hospital to guard Buffy and Faith myself." She nodded. "Very good job, my dear." He left, taking his tea in a sealing cup.

***

Bruce Banner got handed a report from a SHIELD agent the next morning. "Sir, we have no idea what caused that level of energy. The director wanted to know if you thought it was gamma radiation."

"That's magic. That's magical energy surges with that level. Some strong witch having a fit?"

"Some strong witch being attacked," Stark said as he joined them. He hissed in Bruce's ear, getting a nod. "Tell the one-eyed asshole that Dawn Summers got attacked so she dumped some magic into a shield to protect herself and her guard."

"I can do that, sir. He was worried about energy levels."

"It's fine."

"Thank you, Mr. Stark." He walked off calling that in to Agent Hill. Who silently took out those readings and other information to protect Dawn. Fury came out of his office to glare at her so she went in to hiss at him. Without telling him why.

***

Xander blinked awake, looking at his room then at the guy next to him. "New dream walk?"

"You wish with how bad you're injured." He leaned forward. "You'll be okay. It'll just be months."

Xander nodded. "I can understand why. I remember getting up from being stitched to handle it."

"They had to pull the needle out of your former spleen."

Xander grimaced. "They haven't done bloodwork, right?"

"Only normal things. The Secret Service has already descended." He smiled. "So, want to talk about retirement?"

"Ask me when the physical therapy makes me ache and cry," he sighed.

"Very possible but not totally likely. Your insides look like goo from what the nurses said."

Xander grimaced, looking at his stomach then at him. "Am I missing other things?"

"Just your spleen so far." He relaxed again, staring at him. "The one with the plans got kicked around by agents."

"SHIELD?"

"MI-5."

"Hmm. Brit? Old Council?"

"Avatar of Loki."

"Oh, Paul." He nodded with a grimace. "I'm going to kill him."

"Might be too late." Xander grinned. "Dawn's fine. The others are fine. Buffy was complaining about her concussion and how did you do anything with that headache." He rolled his eyes. "All they know is the basics, not how you're injured. So you're safe from fussing since you're in DC. Dawn said she'd be in later." Xander smiled. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm okay. I'll be okay."

Tommy stood up. "Want to talk about that bloodline stuff?"

Xander took a deep breath. "They'll still need me for apocalypse battles and stuff."

"That's not that out of the ordinary. We can talk about it when you're down to outpatient therapy." He patted him on the arm. "Buckaroo freaked out when he saw Darcy helping move people and then the story on your battle. I have never seen him be that mad."

"Did he know Paul?"

"He might have. You never know about him." He smiled. "Get better faster, kid. I'll see you in a few weeks." He left, going back to New Jersey to tell the others. On the way he ran into Dawn coming in. He paused and stared.

"I know I'm pretty but I'm not pretty enough for musicians," she quipped, staring back at him.

"He was just awake." He wrote out a number and handed it to her. "Have him call when he escapes."

"I can do that." She smiled. "Thanks."

"Welcome." He left, going to tell Buckaroo that interesting tidbit. No wonder DC's energy sensors had lit up like a holiday tree.

***

Xander smiled at the young woman sneaking in. "Hi, Darcy."

"Xander." She carefully hugged him. "Are you all right?"

"I'm okay. Just sore." She patted him on the hand. "Are you guys okay?"

"I'm good. Jane's talking to people today about energy readings."

"Um... why?"

"Dawn wasn't the only witch that was protecting herself. They wanted to know about ways to gather it and dissipate it. She and Bruce are talking to people today."

"Oh, okay. As long as it doesn't endanger Dawn."

"No, she's good. The inquest said she did what she should. She even thought to tell her guard's boss."

"That's good. Did mine get captured?"

"The military did, and when the flying ones attacked the mobile hospital to get you and the slayers." Xander grimaced. "One of them took your phone to tap out a message to all your minis so they know you're okay, just in the hospital for a few weeks." He grinned. "So when do you get out?"

"No clue. They won't tell me."

"That's bad but I'm sure it'll be soon. They don't want to keep you longer than they have to. Especially with three guards in the hallway scowling at them."

"Why do I have three?"

"No idea. They scowled at me too until I told them we had met again on vacation. They said that's why they're scowling. I assured them I wasn't going to debauch you."

"I don't think I have a lot left to be debauched for," he said but smiled.

"Eh," she said with a hand wave. "Thor said you can be debauched and not be a virgin. It just takes a lot of squealing." He grinned. "But you're okay?"

"I'm okay, Darcy. Thank you."

"You're welcome." She kissed him on the nose then hopped up. "Feel better soon. Stark was even complaining about you being so injured." She left, going to pick up Jane.

Xander looked out the open doorway. "Hey, guard guys?" One leaned in. "Why do I have three of you?"

"Because there's a possibility that someone will try to come gather you since you're injured, sir."

Xander looked at him. "So the feeling that I'm in trouble?"

"All in your head, but we'd be paranoid if we did your job too." He smiled and went back to his spot. "Nurse Glenda is coming with a pan and cloth."

"Great. Bed bath time." He settled himself in better. Nurse Glenda looked like someone's grandmother, only she was mean. She walked in. "When do I get to go home?"

"Never." She smiled. "Because we're going to keep you here so you can't get injured again."

"Talk like that makes a guy nervous," he said dryly, smirking at her. "It makes us want to escape."

"I'm sure you'd try but we're not being mean." She got things to give him a bed bath then came over to scrub him down. When she was done, Xander waited until the floor got quiet. It was medicated into a nap time apparently. It happened about now every day. He carefully checked his legs then got up and snuck over to the bathroom. No alarms going off so he could sneak out. He got into a pair of sweats that were in his drawer and a t-shirt, then his sneakers that were in the bathroom because they stunk for a bit. His wallet was easily grabbed. His bag of belongings was in a drawer.

He glanced outside. The guards were talking with the lone pretty nurse on the floor. He snuck out and down the stairs, wincing when someone yelled they had seen him out of the room. He hurried down and outside, going to the bus stop near the hospital. One was due by soon but he limped up the block to catch it further up. Anywhere but here was good enough. Then he could switch to the bus near Dawn's college.

***

Xander looked up from his cheerios when the door opened. "Who are you?" the guard demanded, hand on his weapon. "No, don't move, Dawn."

"I'm Xander."

"Who?"

She shoved him out of the way and came in to hug him. "Did you escape?"

"Yup. The nurse said I couldn't get out of there and the guards were all amused that I'm paranoid about my safety." He gave her a look. "It was like I was a prize of some sort. So I escaped the bed full of poky things."

"That's fine. There's food, Xander."

"I don't want anything heavy, Dawn. The antibiotics are making me sick." He looked at the guard. "I'm the guy that's training the slayers in Africa." The guard huffed. "I'm also like her big brother."

She nodded. "He is. He threatens my boyfriends even better than my sister does."

He licked his spoon. "Darcy told me higher ups are asking about how to divert and suck up excess energy when it comes out."

"Shit," she muttered. He nodded. "Well, maybe I'll transfer colleges then." She walked into the kitchen. "I'm making rice and stuff for dinner."

"Eat whatever you want, Dawn. I've had meals for the day." She shot him a dirty look but he just shrugged it off. "Sorry but not in the mood to eat."

"We'll figure it out." She smiled at her guard. "Rice and stuff?"

"That's fine, ma'am." He looked at Xander. "How did you get past the alarms?"

"What alarms?" Xander asked. "The only one I saw was the ADT thingy and it was off when I got in here. Then again, I did a bug search and put them in the freezer for her." She found the baggie and tossed them over.

"I recognize a few of those. One's ATF. One's DEA. I have no idea why." He called that in. He came out. "They're worried that you're gathering weapons like your friend there," he told her.

Xander shook his head. "I'm out. After the last few things, I'm so out." Dawn hugged him around the head then got back to fussing. "You learned really well from Andrew, Dawnie." She smirked at him. "I'm only inhabiting your couch for the night. Then I'll go find somewhere to hide on vacation. I have a few ex's I could probably still trust."

She snorted. "Yeah, right," she said dryly. "Not likely!" He rolled his eyes. "You, rest. We'll figure out where you're supposed to be hiding."

"I think right now it's anywhere away from the people who wanted to keep me," Xander quipped back. "Because the nurses were acting like I'd never get out of there and so were the guards."

The Secret Service guy shook his head and asked for orders about him. "They want us to send you back to the hospital."

"No. Thank you anyway." The guy repeated that, shaking his head. "I'm a big enough boy that I can go hide somewhere warm, sunny, and with girls who might pity cuddle me." The guy repeated that and shook his head. "Why not?"

"They found a serious anomaly that they're worried about. We wanted to know about the radiation."

"Hellmouth taint," Dawn corrected with a smile. "It loves him. It cuddles him. It tries to use him as a symbiot holder a few times with the energy."

The guard winced but repeated that. They were not happy. "Can it be weeded out?"

"No," Xander said. "I'm still carrying some from Sunnydale."

"It made you glow and screwed up an x-ray machine, Mr. Harris."

Xander grinned. "Yeah, I've had it do that before. I can go to Cleveland and it'll reach out to cuddle me. That's why I'm hardly ever in town."

The guard nodded, walking off talking to his boss. He came back. "Can we have someone who studies energy look you over? It'd mean a vacation to New York."

"I've met the Avengers guys before and Darcy Lewis is a great friend. We hung out on our last mutual vacation when we ran into each other."

"That's wonderful." He smiled. "Dr. Banner's in town."

"Sure. I don't mind him."

"Thank you. We'll take you where he is tomorrow."

"Isn't it more quiet and safer for me if I just go?"

"No," the guard said bluntly. "Because two of your ex's are in town and we don't want to tempt them to do anything stupid."

Xander stared at him, smiling some. "That's one way to get pity cuddles." The guard glared. "Dangerous ones like me."

"Uh-huh." He stepped back, calling in that he'd go along with their plan in the morning. He could watch both of these two tonight. They weren't inclined to do anything but maybe watch some bad tv.

***

"What exactly is a hellmouth?" Dr. Banner asked the next morning when Xander walked into the room they were using.

"Hmm, portal," he said, almost moaning it.

"Are you now Homer Simpson?" he asked sarcastically.

"No coffee. Dawn drinks tea." He stared at him. "Still sleepy. Sorry."

"That happens to the best of us. I've seen some really sleep deprived people in my recent years." He pointed at a chair. Xander sat and let him look him over. "What does a hellmouth do?"

"It's a rip that can be opened into a portal to various hell dimensions. Which, really definitional."

Banner frowned. "It is?"

"Yeah. One has no music. One has no shellfish."

"Okay, so that's a matter of definition. I'm sure there's one without science that I'd consider hell."

"Six or seven probably. In some, humans took over. In some, demons took over. In a few they live together." He shrugged then winced.

"Is this plane considered one?"

"To some, all planes are."

"Good to know. So this hellmouth?"

"The thing that opens now and then in Cleveland, now, and formerly in Sunnydale, to spill out demons and things?"

"The hole. We didn't know if the hole had a name."

"Yes it does and each time I go to Cleveland it reaches out for me like I'm a comfort snuggle."

"Why?"

"I sucked up so much from Sunnydale's."

"Can that be weeded out like other radiation?"

"You're talking science to a weapons guy, Dr. Banner. We have no idea about that stuff."

"Some do," he said with a smirk.

"Yeah but I'm not one. I passed biology because Willow puked on my frog."

"Oh. All right." He took a few readings from the machine he hooked Xander to. "You're still radiating."

Xander looked then grimaced and concentrated. He patted his throat. "I had a necklace with a pretty blue stone. That held that in."

"It broke in Africa. The remains were in your clothes bag," the agent with them said. "Another one of us is getting it from the hospital. The nurses said they were sorry for freaking you out."

Xander looked at him. "Yes, she did." Banner smiled. "They were acting like they were going to keep me. I'm not the Xander kitty. I can't be owned. Petted, fed, played with, but not owned."

"I've had a few that wanted to pet me," Bruce said. He got to work on the energy study. "Does this do anything to your body?"

"Not unless it's helped me be majorly stubborn?" He shrugged and winced again. "I've only gotten harder and tougher as things happened. That's not the hellmouth taint. That's just...life."

"I can see why." He looked his chest and back over. "You should still be there."

"Yeah but I'm not ownable."

"They said he almost got caught by the guards on the hallway but they were chatting up a pretty nurse so he managed to make it to the stairwell and they couldn't find him by the time he got downstairs."

"They headed the wrong way. I took the bus," Xander said. The guard shook his head. "I still don't have my full wallet on me. Thankfully I had a few bucks in there from my candy begging in my patrol wallet." He grinned. "I've had to escape before."

"I've heard. Don't do it from your protectors. Then we can't help protect you."

Xander looked at him. "They were acting like I'd never get to leave too."

"We'll figure that out later. Someone would like a report on what started that battle."

"We have no idea," Xander admitted. "I got woken up out of a sound sleep by the phone screaming at me. I had missed a prior call. One demon appeared and was demanding tribute. We showed up and it called the others. I had to get help by asking Giles to please send a few slayers. We fought. I used all my artillery I'd been able to grab however, and most of the military's. They had to send for more twice and the guys were looking nervous like they'd have to start pulling out things they knew wouldn't work if they had to go back a third time.

"We finally got them down. We went to get injuries treated, and I complained a lot that I only needed stitches. Half the blood on me was someone else's. The girls freaked a bit though so fussing did commence again. Then we got attacked while they were stitching me. The military guys fled from the flying thing and were trying to get stuff. Screaming started when the wings sprouted extra heads with sharp and pointy teeth. Instead, me and the girls took them on to protect the other injured people and the staff. And they were definitely after me that time. They ripped the top off the trailer for the traveling surgical unit."

"So no idea if it was a planned event since it happened in a few other places?"

"It did?"

"Everyone's fine," Bruce said. "Outside of Buffy's concussion."

"Oh, yeah. Darcy told me about that."

Bruce looked in his eyes. "Speaking of."

"Not my first."

"Your third?"

"My ...maybe fifteenth?"

"You know how boxers who get a lot of head trauma start to have problems?" Bruce asked him. Xander nodded. "Are you?"

"Quite possibly. Especially since the last one came with a skull fracture. I haven't asked. They'd make me quit protecting the minis and no one else is doing it."

Bruce sighed but nodded. "I get that. Your people really do need more field people." Xander nodded. "I heard some agents applied."

"And half got weeded out for being HYDRA in disguise. The rest are in training and they'll be out in two years. Then I've already told Giles I'm taking one with me to train with the girls so they get used to them."

"That's a good timetable. What if you need to retire sooner?" Bruce asked.

Xander shook his head. "Then I'd better be dead."

"Got it. Well, maybe you can train them sooner?"

"Giles said they have to learn this other stuff first. Though he did say they were all warned not to turn into me. He still thinks I got possessed by some action star."

"Not even Hollywood could do some of the stuff you've done, Harris." Xander smiled at that compliment. "Let's get back to this." He got back to discovering the real levels of Xander's radiation poisoning. It was amusing that it went up when a Xander ex broke in to cuddle and fuss over him. Bruce cleared his throat. "I'm working on his hellmouth taint. Can you fuss over him in a bit please, Miss?"

"Of course I can, Dr. Banner. I worried about that in the past. I seem to draw it from him." She looked at the machines then him. "Are you all right?"

He shrugged and winced. "I could use a few weeks off with pity cuddling."

"I can do dinner."

"I'm not really up to eating yet. Sorry but I hurt too much to eat anything heavier than cheerios."

"I get that. I had that when I broke my clavicle." She cuddled him, making him relax again. "Where are you staying, Xander?"

"Dawn's couch." He grinned. "She has cheerios and milk."

"That's sweet of her. I'll go with you. Dawn could use some real woman time too since her last friend tried to sacrifice her." Xander growled. She kissed him on the temple, making him calm down and cuddle her.

Bruce let it happen because it changed all his readings. He glanced at the guard, who was texting his boss. They could handle things and Xander might end up a bit less insane than usual.

***

That night's guard looked at them. "I'm told I'm to disarm Mr. Harris before I let him go anywhere."

"I'm dangerous in many ways and hell no," Dawn quipped with a grin. "Or on him." The guard stared at her. She stared back. "What if they come for him again?"

"That's why he's getting a guard."

"Sure, and the guards can take out demons?" Xander asked. "That's why I'm in this stunning shape I'm in right now." The guard stepped back while shuddering. "Exactly. Beyond that, where am I going?"

"To the lab?"

"Not that I've heard. Banner said he'd see me in a few weeks to see how the hellmouth taint had lessened when I wasn't being given pity cuddles."

"Awww," Dawn said with a grin.

"Sonya."

"Super awww. She didn't seem like the pity cuddle type. Tie you down and make you scream but not pity cuddles." Xander grinned.

"We don't think anyone's going to show up to bother him tonight but we're very certain it won't be anything weird," the agent said.

"Did we slip realms when we came home?" Xander asked. "There's never not something weird going on."

"Especially since I've got to go work with the healers tonight," Dawn agreed. Xander smiled at her. "You can nap. I know my snoring kept you up." He shook his head. "I heard you moving."

"That's pain, Dawn. Sorry I woke you."

She came over to hug him. "I'm sorry you go so hurt but thank you for taking it so the girls didn't." He cuddled her back. She got free with a grin. "I've got ten more pages to read and then I'm going to the healers to let them suck off the magic I don't use and take more potions lessons." She got back to it, brining her book with her while she changed clothes into something more comfortable. She usually sweated when she worked with them. She came out pulling up her hair, grabbing a fun reading book. "You, nap. I'll be home in about three hours." The guard stared at her. "I work with the healers at least twice a week. They're expecting me. I might even be late right now." She grabbed her keys. "Later, guys."

"Miss Summers, you're not supposed to go anywhere without me and we'd have to wait while an agent came to sit with Mr. Harris." He stopped her from moving.

She carefully pried the hand off her wrist. "The apartment has protections on it. Xander's safe here. No one is going to touch me at the healer's clinic. It's sacred, safe space. The only one's who've tried it were HYDRA. Sorry but this is an obligation and the other guys all knew this. They should've told you." She glanced at the clock. "I'm late and they depend on me for the extra energy to heal injuries. So decide, dude." She walked off, going down the stairs. She sent a text message to her usual guard guy, who complained about that but said she was right about that one being weird and anti-demon. She heard him following but that was fine. She ran into someone who was bleeding. "Sam," she sighed, making him straighten up. "You okay?"

"Just a mugger," he said, holding his side. "Why are you out tonight?"

"Healers." She smiled. "C'mon. We can at least bandage it for you." He nodded, walking with her. The guard huffed. Dawn looked back. "The guy works with Steve Rogers. I'm pretty sure he's okay for me to talk to." Sam laughed but nodded. They walked into the clinic. "Can I bandage his side?" she asked.

"Where were you?" the nurse demanded. She pointed back at the guard. "Oh, them. You, wait out here. Falcon, we'll gladly bandage it for you. Dawn, she's got someone having an egg laying problem." Dawn hurried back to help. The clinic's bouncer stopped the guard from going back there. "We'd never hurt Dawn. She's a godsend of help for our tired, overworked healers." She got the bandages to treat Sam's side for him then gave him a peppermint candy so he could go home happier.

Back at the apartment, Xander was getting out of the handcuffs he had been put in. When a senior agent showed up to bitch, Xander let him unlock him so they could chat about this new guy's problems. He agreed that the guard had a problem and they went to the clinic to talk to Dawn. The nurse's eyes went wide when Xander walked in.

"Don't worry. Not here for treatment. He's here to talk to Dawn about her guarding plan."

"There's an egg delivery problem. It'll probably be an hour before she's free, Xander." She looked at him. "Would you like to see the healer?"

He shook his head. "Too many head injuries and just bruised. As long as I'm not attacked at Dawn's house I'm good." He grinned. "I escaped from the hospital because they were making 'going to keep you' noises."

She nodded. "Even I can tell you're injured."

"I'm just escorting. They are not to worry about me." She nodded, making that note. He winced at the scream of pain. "She can suck off some of my hellmouth taint if it'll help with that."

"It may. Let me check." She went to tell the healer that and got permission. It'd warp the egg some but not that much if they filtered through Dawn. They had taught her how to do that a few months back. Xander limped in and let Dawn take his hand. The healer sucked out of him and it was better. The egg finally came out, only mildly cracked, and the mother got healed from the hard delivery.

Xander looked. "Doesn't she have another egg?"

"Yes. It's normal sized."

"She's unswelling."

The healer looked and nodded, taking that one as well. Xander helped move them to the incubator that was set up. The mother was panting as she came down from the pain. "Thank you, Xander," the healer said, kissing him on the cheek. "You should go sit down."

"I just escorted the senior agent here so he could talk to Dawn about the present guard guy who thought it wasn't demons that I got injured by. You're not to waste energy on me." He stared at her then smiled. "Unless I'm dying." She patted him on the cheek then moved to fuss over the mom with Dawn's help. "Let me go sit down like a good boy." He took Dawn's book with him.

Dawn rolled her eyes but smiled at the healer. "He just showed up while I was class. Freaked out my guard of that day." The healer laughed. "They've been looking at his hellmouth taint today."

"That could be a good thing." They got the mother settled and moved to look at the others.

Dawn went to talk to the senior agent once she had cleaned herself up. "Sorry but the mother would've died."

"Why can't they go to a regular hospital? They'd have medicines and things."

"Because regular hospitals won't treat anyone who doesn't look like a human and if they find you're a partial human they'll kill you." A few of the nurses nodded. "One's even tried that on Xander thanks to the mermaid taint."

"Oh. I didn't know it was still that bad."

Dawn nodded. "It'll probably be decades before it's better."

"That's good to know." He stared at her. "You texted your former guard?"

"This one's a bit...weird. He's very anti-demon in weird ways. Not hating on them but 'you're delusional by believing in them' ways. He tried to stop me from coming in to help tonight."

"He said he wanted you to wait."

"It's on my list of weekly obligations and I was running late thanks to studying."

"Why do you come here? You're not listed as a healer."

"I have magic I can't use. I lend it to the healer so she can heal others."

"Oh. That's nice of you." Dawn smiled. "I saw it was on your weekly schedule twice a week." She nodded. "And you're right, he's a bit weird. Your housemate got locked to the couch in handcuffs."

"Xander's would've normally messed him up for that. It shows how bad he's feeling."

"I think that's reasonable with some of his past."

"One of his ex's showed up to give him pity cuddles earlier." She smiled. "I know he's planning on going on vacation soon."

"That could be handy. I'm sure you're a bit tired of having him there?"

"I love Xander but yeah, can't really masturbate with him on the couch. I had a crush on him at one time but now he's firmly in big brother territory. He wouldn't care, but I'd mind."

The agent looked at her. "Must you do that when our agent's around?"

"Not like I'm not twenty. It's my hand or a club."

"Your hand. We don't have to rescue you from it or do a background check on it." Dawn smiled at him. "Some of your guards are wondering why you need us."

"The regional director guy has that file but it's sealed."

"I know. I'm one who responded to the attack on you." He gave her a pointed look.

"All that comes here." She waved a hand. The nurse caught it and pricked her finger to take her blood sugar. "I'm okay."

"You're a bit low. Get some juice." Dawn smiled and grabbed some from the fridge up the hall. The nurse smiled at the agent. "We haven't minded any of the other ones but this one's all but pulled out a bible to tell us we're playing dress up and it's against his religion."

"I'll talk to him."

"I can probably handle it tonight," Dawn said.

"No you may not," the agent ordered.

"We heard there's someone looking to court you, Dawn," the nurse said with a smile.

"Um, no. Not into a permanent thing and they're probably bad for me. Buffy would *so* nag after I ragged on her past dates." She sipped the juice, making the nurse laugh. "Is she dating someone stakeable again?"

"Of course. Spike's still around." Dawn rolled her eyes and moaned, shaking her head. "We look at it oddly too. I know the one looking for you is higher."

"The last one like that is why I have guards," Dawn quipped. "Thanks to Kennedy." The nurse hissed. "Yeah, that's what started off that." She finished the juice and tossed the bottle into the proper recycling bin. "I'm sorry I freaked him out so much."

"No, it's not your fault. This is a good bit of community work and it's important for you to do." He smiled. "We'll figure it out and probably remove him in the morning."

She smiled. "I've got potions homework tonight. The head healer's already told me that."

He nodded. "I'm sure you're doing wonderfully in that subject. Let me go talk to him. If I have to, I'll get a replacement down while you're here."

"Thank you." She hugged him and went to help the healer, who was heaving in the bathroom. "Are you with egg?" she demanded, smiling at her.

"Purging the last of the hellmouth taint from him. It's stronger now."

"He's not wearing his blocking necklace. It broke during that battle."

"That explains much." She cleaned herself up and went to see her next patient. Tonight was a light night thankfully. Especially since that guard had scared a few patients off. Xander was helping with one in the waiting area. She knew that one. "Xander?" she asked quietly.

He grinned. "He just needed bandages. I can do this."

"Thank you." She looked at him. "If you need to rest, we can do that."

"He's wanted by the government," the lower agent sneered.

Xander looked at him. "I'm pretty sure Captain America has first claim on him."

"I can't go to Steve. They'll come for him," the guy said.

Xander smiled. "I can be a diversion. HYDRA still hates me." The senior agent stared at him. "Wasn't that who put me in the hospital that was going to be exploded?"

"Yes it was."

Xander nodded. "Were they the investigative group?"

"Second one. The first is down. We're still working on the other one."

Xander calmed the guy down. "Calm down. It's more likely a demon would show up to kill me since I'm injured. I can protect you until we can get you somewhere safe. All right?" He nodded once. "In fact, I know the slayer in New York very well and we can go visiting since it's got protections on the house. They don't want to mess with Gloria so they won't be going there."

"I... why are you helping me?"

"Because I'm the White Knight of Sunnydale," he said with a smile. "It's what I do. It's why I've been hunting demons since I was sixteen. It's why I've had something like fifteen concussions." The guy winced. "Apparently your buddy was my prototype," he said dryly, cracking him up. He nodded and smiled at that joke. "Beyond that, Gloria would love to drool on you. She won't pinch or anything but she might admire."

"Admiring is fine but I don't think I could handle someone touching."

"Sometimes it's the only thing you really need but you can't have it because it'll set you off worse," Xander agreed. "Which sucks. There's no way out of that loop." Bucky nodded. "C'mon. Dawn?" She came to the window. "I'm going to take him to Gloria."

"Tell her I said hi. You know you could stay."

He grinned. "Yeah but I'm crimping your relationship with your vibrators. Anya would scowl at me for that." She came out to give him a hug. "Be a good girl. You'll see me in a few months." She nodded. He nodded, taking Bucky with him. He called an ex. "Claudette, I'm in DC and need to go see Gloria in New York. Is anyone going that way that we can bum a ride with?" He grinned. "Thanks." He hung up and called him. "Philip, can I bum a ride to New York for me and a buddy. No, my wallet's somewhere. No idea. They evacuated me back to the US after that last battle again. Thanks, man. Yeah, just the two of us. No, I have no ID or anything. He probably has something but not sure what. That's great. Thank you." He hung up and a few minutes later there was a reservation. He showed him and nodded, getting the guy to follow him to the train station. "Quietly traveling. Takes longer but it's mostly safer," he said quietly.

"People get on and off."

"Yeah but it's a finite limit of them and we can set up a nice seating area that's safer. I'll let you pick the seats."

"Thanks, kid."

"Not a problem." He got them onto the train, which was leaving in a half-hour, and they found a good set of seats to hide in. Only one person got on that Bucky recognized but so did Xander so he distracted her and begged her for a candy bar by teasing her into an orgasm. She didn't even spot Bucky before she got off in Philadelphia.

***
Part 7 by Voracity2
Gloria opened the door at the knocking, staring at the two guys. "I've got a date, Xander."

"What do I care? Unless he's a shitbag I need to stake?"

"No. I'm not Buffy." She let them in without an invitation. "What's up?"

"He needs to see your mentor and I need to rest. Dawn's fussy."

"I get that," she agreed, leading them to the upstairs rooms. "The girls left a slight mess when they were here last. I can get you guys clean sheets." She did that and went back down to her date, who understood about old friends showing up and her having to call new friends about him being here.

***

Natasha got the message and stared at it then called Bruce. "It's Natasha. If you were planning on talking to Mr. Harris again tomorrow, he evacuated someone up here. He's at the local slayer house." She hung up and went to find Steve. No Steve in the tower. She found Clint. "I need to go see Gloria after her date."

He nodded. "The guy's weird. He's uptight, he doesn't touch more than her hand, and he's pathologically afraid of skin germs," Clint said. "His background's clean beyond that."

She smiled. "It's a good first step back into dating. If you find Steve, let me know?"

"He's out with Stark at some event."

"Charming." She walked off, making plans for later that night. Skulking around New York City at one in the morning didn't look all that unusual. Especially since it was a Friday night.

***

Gloria opened the door, smiling at the two there. "Hi." She let them in. "Xander's having a fever dream and your buddy's in the other room. My date's still here."

Natasha paused her with a hand on her arm. "Have you talked to him about his germ thing?"

"He warned me about it. So far it's okay." Natasha nodded, smiling at her. "Thank you for asking though."

"You're most welcome. We'll stay out of your way." She led the way upstairs, listening at the doors. Xander's fever was apparently creating nightmares so she went in to calm him down. "Xander," she said softly, making him gasp and sit up, panting hard. "Are you all right? You were having nightmares."

He stared at her. "Visions suck."

"I'm sure they do. Let me get things so we can record it." He nodded, sipping the glass of water he had in there. She settled in to take notes for him and made note that it was from a dream and he was still in pain. That may make a difference.

Up the hall, Steve knocked on the other bedroom door, smiling when he opened it holding a gun. "I didn't think we were that way with each other."

Bucky looked him over. Tight t-shirt, tight jeans. "Renting yourself out?" he asked.

Steve smirked. "Stark insisted. There was a thing tonight with ladies to raise money for the latest repairs for the city." He stepped in. "Anytime things get destroyed we get asked to make nice and do things so people donate." He settled on the foot of the bed. "The last time I ran into you, you were getting memories back. Are you getting more?"

"I've got most of them back but they're going to try for you again."

"Let them come. I'll pretend to be Xander and stare them down."

Bucky stared at him. "He does?"

"Yeah, he has. He's done a few things even I look at like he's too heroic. Then he runs from nagging from the slayers."

"Sounds like you running from girls," Bucky said, sitting by the pillows. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Just tired. The mayor's wife pinched me twice tonight."

"Poor thing," he teased. Steve smirked back. "I didn't want to put you in more danger."

"I'm in plenty already and I'd rather have you there in case you need help."

"I do good on my own."

Steve stared at him. "You might but I don't. The team's great, we talk a lot and things, but they don't really *get* me. Two of them still think I'm an innocent guy."

Bucky shook his head with a sigh. "That figures."

"One's Stark's kid."

Bucky stared at him. "Is he that innocent?"

"No. I think he's had more dames than you had."

"That's a lot." Steve nodded. "Huh." He considered it. "I still don't want to put you in danger."

"If you're here, I can handle the danger better. You know more of who they are so I can be alert to that. It means I'm not always paranoid about the guy on the street."

"I get that," Bucky agreed. "I ...I'm feeling the same way."

"Which is a good reason for us to guard each other again. Like we used to do against that gang of wannabe mobsters." Bucky grinned. "How many memories don't you still have?"

"Apparently a lot."

"There were some but they always wanted you to join." Bucky huffed. "I had to check, Buck. It's the sort of paranoid I've become."

"I get why."

"Probably not. We had a shape shifter the other day pretending to be Clint and it took Natasha two hours to figure it out." Bucky groaned, shaking his head. "She's known him for a very long time."

"That's reasonable." Steve grinned. "Are you sure you're you?"

"I am me. I have been me. They can't get me right. The hair's always off." Bucky burst out laughing. Someone knocked and Steve let her in. Bucky stiffened, staring at her.

She stared back. "Relax. I'm not here for you. I work with Steve now," she said quietly. She came in and closed the door. "You remember me?" He nodded once. "Clint brought me into SHIELD when I left the Red Room," she said in quiet Russian. He sighed but nodded. "I tend to nag Steve."

"He needs it," he agreed.

She smiled. "He can." She settled against the door frame. "I work with Gloria on her training. We think she'll be the head slayer some year."

"She's a good, sweet girl who turns into a hellcat on the field," Steve said with a grin for her. "You've done good with her."

"Plus helped where Xander had her for six months of one-on-one training. He sees things a bit differently in the field than we do."

"That's because his are demonic and prone to just appearing instead of driving up," Steve said. "Then they have weird ways of killing them."

"Could be," she agreed. She looked at Bucky. "Are you better?" He nodded. "That's good. You will tell me if you need something?"

"They could still come for me."

"That is true of anyone," she reminded him. "Including all of us at the tower. Or the slayers."

"They sure tried," Steve agreed. "Thankfully they managed that battle since we couldn't get there in time."

"What battle?" Bucky asked. Natasha pulled it up on her internet connection, letting him see it. "That's nasty but HYDRA." He frowned as he watched. "They evacuated the slayers?"

"Slayers aren't meant to fight humans," Steve said quietly. "It can do bad things to the spirit that gives them their gifts." Bucky scowled. "A few have had that problem thanks to attacks. Mostly the few guys they have in the field have handled it for the slayers. Some of the agents that SHIELD shed were hired on," he told Natasha.

"I suggested a few should try. Most made it. The ones that were rejected were probably because they were insane."

"Or HYDRA," Steve said. "One I thought I could trust was." She nodded she had a few of those too.

"Xander's looking at a three year time table to be able to cut back on some of his duties. He'll take one of the agents fresh out of training and travel with them while training the mini slayers."

Steve nodded. "That's a good idea. How are his injuries?"

"He's sore," Bucky said. "But when we ran into a problem he teased her until she bought him candy and cooed over them."

"Only the dangerous ones like him that way," Gloria quipped from the hallway. "Xander's lovers have been very handy more than once so we don't rag on him the way we do to Buffy about her sleeping with Spike." She laughed at their shuddering. "I'm going to bed. Night, guys." She went to her room and snuggled in for the night.

Natasha grimaced, looking at Steve. "How would one sleep with a vampire?"

"I couldn't. The cold flesh and all that." He shuddered again. Even Bucky shuddered.

Natasha stood up. "I'll let you rest. Come back to the tower tomorrow. Bruce is coming to check on Xander because he's filled with hellmouth radiation apparently." She smiled at Bucky. "We can protect each other and you can play with Clint's dog." She left.

"Clint's a nice guy," Steve said quietly. "He's worked with her for years. The guy who brought her into SHIELD." Bucky gave him a look. "He's the archer."

"I've seen." Steve smiled. "Weird weapon for modern battles but I guess it's really handy." He slid down some. "I should rest."

"Want me to go?"

"I..." Steve slid to the floor and guarded the doorway for him. Bucky smiled. "Thanks."

"Welcome." He watched Bucky fall asleep and guarded the doorway so nothing could interrupt that precious sleep. They all needed more sleep.

***

Xander was on the phone when Gloria got up the next morning. "No, Giles, I can't wait six months. I won't make it six months with these injuries. If I get one of them to train with the minis, that'll cover my asses and theirs. This is my third major demon attacking me in six months." He listened, sighing at the end. "I'm sure there's all sorts of special stuff they need to learn that I didn't," he said bluntly. Giles cleared his throat and pointed out that the old liners were concerned about that.

"Giles, half the stuff those guys want the girls to learn is how to be a robot warrior like the old days. I caught one talking to one of the minis in the house about how glorious the old days were and scowled to make him run like hell from me." Giles said he had wondered why. "Because Janine didn't need to know how *glorious* girls like Kendra were to die young and alone," he said bluntly. "Yeah, just one. Well, gee, Giles. I can't drive right now thanks to the headache from the current concussion. Two of my minis have been attacked recently. I need someone who can help me handle things, no matter what's going on.

"Because if you guys had militia groups like we in Africa have militia groups, it'd be different. The US would be a much different place." Giles agreed and sighed, saying he could send him one. "Make sure he's tolerant of other races, that he's able to handle him or herself in the field if something goes wrong, like another hell god shows up out of nowhere to talk to us, and that they can survive if they have to. Meaning they know how to camp, how to hunt for food, and how to not burn up in the desert."

Gloria leaned down next to the phone. "Hunting for dinner was a bit weird but there's whole weeks between towns with the way the girls are spread, Mr. Giles. It really does mean you get to eat more than field rations, which are nasty."

"And expensive," Xander quipped. He kissed her on the temple. "I started coffee an hour ago."

"Thank you." She went to get some and refill his cup, making him grin at her.

"Exactly, Giles. It's not soft hotel beds and nice smelling villages. Frankly, last year I had to help one of the girls' villages with a backed up sewer pit that was trying to break into their well. Otherwise they would've died of something nasty. I've helped with harvests while talking to my minis about some things like plant demons. I've helped planting with the minis while talking to them about things. In their lives, that's what they have to do to survive and if she can't help, she can't eat. I've fixed roofs and everything else that they needed me to do."

"I did like learning how to thatch a roof," Gloria said with a smile.

"You did a great job with that roof, Gloria. It's still standing." She smirked. "Wind storms recently from that one wind demon getting drunk. Apparently that mini toddled out to go scowl at him until he got sober again. Freaked out her parents and me when they told me." Giles said something. "No, a wind demon, like controls a wind pattern, Giles. Yes, one of them. She's five. She got a wild hair up her butt and went to help so her village didn't go missing more roofs. I'm sure we remember one of the minis in the house when she was five.

"You had me talk to her about common sense things because she had a friend who had healing skills and they snuck into the zoo to heal the tiger that was sick." Even Gloria could hear Giles' moan from across the room. "Yeah, same thing. Different reason." He sighed. "I can take two," he agreed. "But one'll need their own vehicle. Mine'll seat them but I've got stuff piled in the back of the jeep." He listened. "That's fine. I can do that. I'm not allowed to fly for another six weeks. Yay concussion."

Gloria smiled. "Six weeks of new vacation?"

"Only if I can get there by train, bus, or boat," he said dryly. "Preferably not by bus."

She nodded. "There's beaches near here but they're going to be cold soon."

He nodded. "I know. I have no cold weather clothes up here. Then again, I have no clothes up here or my wallet or anything else."

"There's a message on the machine from Dawn saying that she's sending your stuff here by overnight delivery. The agents rescued it from the hospital but your blocking necklace is in shards and bits of chain." He winced. "I'm guessing that's bad?"

"You're guessing right," he said dryly. "That's why I got pulled in to be checked for why I was radiating the area." Giles said something. "Hellmouth taint, Giles. That sort."

"I love the hellmouth when it tries to pet you," Gloria quipped. Xander smirked at her. "I have sparring in a bit."

"College?" he asked.

"Off this semester. Mine got halfway knocked down during one of the attacks." She smirked and went back into the kitchen. "Let me make myself some eggs. Want some?"

"Still too sore to eat, Gloria, but thanks. I'll pick up some cheerios later." Giles complained. "Giles, I'm in a crapload of pain most of the time. Anything more solid won't come out easily and would take me using muscles that are bruised. Beyond that, I probably can't puke cheerios as much as I would eggs when I get a surge of pain and nausea from the head injury. It's really going to suck since one of the docs I've seen told me I'm having problems like boxers get from too many head injuries. So yeah, I'm doing my replacement and then I'll let you move me to somewhere more quiet and steady with fewer battles." He listened. "That's my idea, yeah. I'm figuring three years. Sooner if I die during an attack." Gloria gave him an odd look so he pointed outside toward the back door. She looked and ran for a sword. "If it's a poker buddy, don't kill him. We're out of artillery again," he called. "Let me help her, Giles." He hung up on his complaining.

Steve came down pulling on his t-shirt and took the sword from Gloria. "You finish your breakfast, young lady. You need to eat more often, you're losing weight again." He went outside, staring at the two demons, one had another on a leash. "Did you need something?"

"I came to see the knight."

Xander leaned out. "I'm in horrifically pitiful shape. Huge problem?" He petted the demon on the leash. "It's great your sister's calmed down again."

"We have heard you were injured, Knight. I come to challenge you."

Xander stepped out, taking the sword. "I may be sore but it doesn't mean I won't kick ass. You know that." The demon pouted. The one on the leash sniffed his leg and tried to hump it until he thumped her on the head. "Stop that. I'm not for you." He looked at the demon again, making him back up and make whining noises. "I should charge the ones who try that. We're out of higher weapons anyway." The demon moaned but nodded, stomping off with his leashed pet. He looked at Steve and shrugged. "They consider me normal because Buffy said so." He walked back inside, handing Gloria her sword back. She went to put it up while nibbling on her egg sandwich. "Maybe I'll go play kitten poker today."

"Doubt it," Gloria quipped. "That's not a safe activity and I doubt the people who're supposed to be guarding you would like that."

Xander leaned back to look up the hall at her. "I had one handcuff me to the couch so he could stop Dawn from helping a healer because demons were just a figment of our imagination or kids playing dress up." She burst out laughing. "Yeah."

"I'm kind of glad she's in DC." Her phone beeped. "Oh, yeah, she's in DC. Xander, she just got attacked." Xander stood up and came to get her phone to check the news feeds. Dawn had a shield. There was a Hulk. There was a pissed off alien. There was a group of humans attacking Dawn for daring to have magic and a few were chanting she was evil to help healers. "Oh, charming."

"Where's her guard?" Xander said. "That's not right."

"There's people running."

"Yeah, with tranq rifles." He hung up and called someone. "I need to be with Dawn ASAP. She's under heavy attack by humans and now idiots with tranq guns. Thank you, Helda." He hung up and tossed her phone back then grabbed two things from the armory before he got sent by the coven. He appeared, firing on the bad guys. The gas canisters went off. A few shrieked. "If holy water is bothering you, something's wrong with your viewpoints," he called. He hurried to Dawn's side, taking the tranq rifle from one of the hunting team. "Leave Dr. Banner alone!"

"We have orders, sir. He's to be taken into custody and handed to General Ross."

"Not unless someone brought him back to life since I shot him in New York during that attack on me," he shot back. "Stand down and get the fuck away from Dawn and Banner before I fuck your world up permanently." The guy backed off slowly. "Dawn, down. Now." She ducked down, shrinking the shield over her. He nudged the Hulk, getting glared at. "Move back. I need to fire on the humans with the holy water." The Hulk moved for him. Xander fired a few more canisters. An officer came running. "It's holy water. We use them to take down nests."

"You're using a weapon in DC," the officer said, trying to grab it.

Xander hit him with it. "Yeah, because someone's got to protect people and your response time is pathetic. Gee, what a damn shock." He looked around. "Yo, where's her guard?" he demanded.

"Not here, obviously," one of the hunting team said with a glare. Then he realized who he had just spoken to and blanched. "Harris!"

"Yup, and not a happy Xander either," he promised. "Find. Her. Guard." He called that in. He looked at the officer. "Think you can stop the angry mob now so everyone calms down?" He waved a hand at Banner. "Might help!" The officer glared and grabbed the gun again. Xander took it back. "Sorry, slayer property." He backed off looking scared. "Yeah, I'm Council. Dawn's Council related. Hence the attack!" He waved a hand again. "Please, fix your people! I hate fixing people." He walked over to the Hulk, who was grappling with a demon. "His head comes off and he turns to goo, Hulk." The Hulk roared and bashed it in. "That'll work," he agreed. He stared up at him. "You okay? Injured?" The Hulk looked so confused. Xander smiled. "I'm Xander. I work with Gloria and the slayers."

"Slayers nice. Gloria fussy."

"Yes she is." He smiled. "So's Dawn. Can you go guard Dawn for now?" He pointed. "That way no more of them try for her?" Hulk walked over to do that. "Dawn?" She uncurled and took down the shield. "Can you help his few scratches?"

"Of course." She stood up. "Hulk, can I heal them?"

"Heal?" he asked.

She touched her hand to his arm and the scratches on it slowly healed. She smiled. "I'm learning how to heal." Hulk smiled at her and let her do that. "Thank you. I hate to see people hurt." She looked at the angry people. "Though I might make an exception."

"That's like me hating to handle human problems but I made an exception for some militia groups in Africa," Xander quipped. "It's a long slide, Dawn. Don't start it until you have to."

She nodded. "I'm trying." She looked around then at the Hulk. "There's military guys, Xander."

Xander smiled and waved at them. "I do believe you're not going to be able to help."

"We have an arrest warrant signed by General Ross, sir. Get out of the way."

"General Ross is dead, dickhead." The guy flinched. "I'm the one who killed him because he was trying to kill me. It happened in New York." He stared at him. "Which is when we had to start talking to higher agents." One ran over. "Dawn?"

"Stephen, I'm okay. Let me finish healing his injuries."

"What happened?" he demanded. "Harris, gun? Please?"

"Only fires canisters of holy water," he said, handing it over. "It's the New York house's gun."

"I can make sure it gets back up there."

"Then why is it here?" an officer demanded.

"Because I had a member of the coven send me to defend Dawn," Xander shot back. "Since it had been going on long enough to make it to CNN and your people *still* weren't here!" The officer flinched back. He looked at Stephen. "Her guard?"

"The guy that they couldn't get replaced last night."

"He logged off at six," Dawn said. She stepped back. "Any more owwies, Hulk?" He shook his head, smiling at her and patting her on the head. "Thank you. You're a good guy." One of the military guys stepped closer. "Don't think I didn't learn from Xander as well as my sister." The guy sneered. Dawn flashed a spell at him, making him scream.

"Dawn," Xander warned. "Calm it back down please." She sighed but calmed herself. "Thank you. You're sucking energy from the tree behind you. I don't want you to hurt anyone nice." She nodded. More agents came running. Xander looked at one, stopping her by shoving her back. "Don't go near her. You know better."

"I'm to take Dawn to Cleveland," the agent said.

Xander pointed. "That's her Secret Service guard. That's his job. And stay away from Banner."

She blinked. "You're helping .... them?"

"They've helped in some of our battles and he stepped in to protect Dawn without knowing why. Hell yes I'm protecting him. Go deal with the soldiers who have old ideas."

"I can do that." She stomped over there. "I'm Agent Samantha Finn with Homeland Security. Produce ID's and orders, boys, or be brought up on charges of acting in DC."

"You're working with him?" one demanded, pointing at Xander.

"Yeah, my husband's old project got stopped by a slayer for being bad shit. I trust Xander's instincts in the field. Now, produce orders and ID or be arrested. I don't have this sort of patience."

"We have orders from General Ross!"

"He's dead," Xander called.

"I'm aware of that," Finn agreed. "Nice work in New York when that happened, Xander."

"Had to happen, not my idea." He looked at the staring agent. "Yes?"

"Mr. Harris, where's your guard?"

"What guard? I've been in New York since last night."

"Oh. That's wonderful."

Xander shrugged. "I was safe in the slayer house."

"We know." The officer frowned, looking at his feet then around. "Did anyone else just feel a shake?"

"I felt magic appear," Dawn said. She was looking around. "Oh, damn." Her guard and the Hulk both flinched. "Um, Xander?" She pointed.

He looked. "Wow, I need weapons," he said quietly. "A lot of weapons. We have to blow it to bits, because it's immortal." The agent stared then shuddered. "Now. Like right now." He was calling in. "Dawn...."

"Going," she said, grabbing onto her agent and pulling him. She paused, touched the Hulk, and shrank him. He went into her pocket and they ran for the agent's car. "We need to get out of DC," she ordered. "That one's immortal, pissed off, and can kill whole acres by sneezing." Stephen was calling that in while digging out his car keys so they could scatter. He did pause at Dawn's place to let her grab her emergency things and her mom's picture. Then they headed northwest.

Xander looked at the military guys. "Hey, Sam? If they're useful it'd be great," he called, watching Dawn shrink the Hulk. "Okay then," he muttered. "At least he'll be safe for now." Sam Finn glared at him so he pointed. She looked and went pale. "We need weapons. He's immortal like the Judge was."

"Fuck!" she shouted, calling that in. "Major demon incursion near the sixth's street nursery!"

Xander winced. "That's there. Damn it. We need...."

"They've already cleared the nursery. Someone local had their first vision," Sam Finn said. "The healers near there and every other demon family got moved last night, Xander." He nodded, calming himself. "What do we need to do?"

"It's immortal. We have to separate it. Unless it's a weird thing that I'm not thinking of."

Sam Finn's phone rang with a text message. "Via Riley, Rupert said you're right and it's allergic to lead."

"Great," he agreed. "I have no idea where we'll get that much lead." He snorted and rubbed his face, looking around. "Guys, do you want to die?" he called. He pointed. "That's going to eat you." They ran off. He glared at the military people. "They can stay and help." He looked around then at himself then at her. "I'm in no shape for a field battle," he said quietly. "I'll take weapons for five hundred, Alex."

"I can do the general leading," she promised. She went to gather support. "I'm Agent Samantha Finn from Homeland. We're about to have an attack by a higher demon. It is allergic to lead but immortal so we have to blow it apart. Military boys, I want you to help fire on it so it cannot advance farther. DCPD people, clear the damn area. It's a college, there's a lot of tasty meals running around in jammies and skimpy tops."

"Start a shelter in place outside of this area," Xander said. "He never travels alone and his friend could be carrying diseases." They nodded, calling that in. "If they do find her, do not engage. You can't kill her either and all you can do is wash her in holy water until she flees. Which would require the big guy there to help." The demon was smiling at them. "Hi, how're you today?" he asked with a smile back.

"You're injured."

"Yeah, I know that. Thanks for reminding me. Is that why you came today?"

"The Key was here."

Xander shook his head. "No. It wasn't. It's dead. We killed it after Glory came then died." The demon laughed. "Sorry. Some of us soaked up some of the energy but it's dead."

"I know better, *Knight*."

Xander shrugged. "If you're sure but you're still wrong." The demon swatted a car at them. "No, I'm not allowed to drive right now, thanks," he called with a wave. "Can you go home now? This is not the breakfast of champions I was expecting today." The demon moved closer, stomping on a dorm.

"It was cleared," an officer said. He was praying and trying to keep anyone from coming to help.

"ETA five minutes, Xander," Sam Finn called.

Xander nodded once. "Yay us." She shuddered. "So," he told the demon. "Since we killed the Key's energy and all you're seeing is some residue, why are you still here?"

"Because the betting is very high and I will gain much status and wealth by taking you out." He smirked, leaning down to look at him. "You'll die a pretty death."

"I doubt that," Xander said dryly. The demon laughed. Xander looked around it at the thing floating their way. "Guys, that's his friend, the floating germ." The demon tried to grab Xander but he moved. "No. Not today. It's not my day to die. There's still plenty of battles to come. I'm needed here. I might even spawn some day." The demon burst out laughing. The military guys were parking and pulling out weapons to get them from behind. Sam was coordinating with them. They were going to need a lot more than they had. The demon tried to grab Xander again but he avoided it. The demon sneered and pulled a sword.

Xander shrugged. "Yay. You have penis envy. Your sword is very telling about why you don't get any virgins to debauch," Xander said blandly. The demon quit paying attention to the others and focused on him. Which meant when Thor and Iron Man got there they were ignored too. Xander dove out of the way of the next attack attempt and through the cloud of germs unfortunately but he'd deal with that later. Yup, that sucked a huge amount. He came out choking and spit out the stuff he heaved up. "Glad I didn't have breakfast yet."

Thor hit the demon hard. "You will die now."

"Thor, he's immortal, you have to make him a gooey spot," Xander yelled.

"I can do such." They fired on the demon until he huffed and attacked back. Then the military took over again. Xander got one of the pieces from them and bled onto it, then fired it at the demon. Thor gave him an odd look. Xander pointed at the coven that had shown up. They were chanting and acting on his blood. The demon screamed as his arm fell off. Xander whimpered and held onto the car he was leaning against. They canceled that spell for him. Thor nodded. "An unwise decision but perhaps necessary."

Xander nodded. "They're like that. They keep getting stronger and worse the older I get." He fired off something else. "He's allergic to lead," he called. "Anyone got any handy lead construction beams?" The military guys shook their heads but they had ingots of lead coming. That got loaded into weapons and shot at the demon. He bellowed as one of his knees got ruined by it. "Hey." He grinned. "Great." They kept going until the demon was destroyed. It was trying to regenerate but people were waiting to pick up the remains and keep them separate. Xander panted, leaning down. He looked at the quiet footstep coming his way. "Thanks," he told the coven member, who nicely healed him.

"It was stupid, boy."

"It was necessary." He looked at her. "Did they suck up the germ cloud?"

She nodded. "They did. Used leaf blowers to force it to move into a safe." She checked his forehead. "You've had a shite year."

He grinned. "It means I'm effective and they're scared of me."

She snorted. "That too. Go rest."

"I have plans for that." She walked off. "Thanks. Can I get back to New York?"

"No!" Stark yelled. "You're going to quarantine!" He flew up and looked down at him. "Where's the Hulk?"

"Find Dawn. She has him."

"I can do that. Let's get you to the nice hospital room of doom to make sure you didn't pick up anything from your roll through the cloud."

"Sure, I guess that's reasonable," he sighed. "Just don't let it be the same people so they don't want to keep me? Or any torturing freaks?" he asked with a point at Ross's minions.

"Granted," one of the agents said. "NIH's hospital isn't like that." He took him to the ambulance. He was possibly infected anyway. The cloud had tried to grope him.

Xander looked at the agent. "One of your regional supervisors has a copy of my bloodwork from before this. It'll be important before someone freaks a tiny bit."

"I can call that in." He did that and nodded. "They've already delivered it and the doctors are already upset with it." Xander grinned. "The odd chromosomes?"

"I got exposed to mermaid taint."

The agent sighed, shaking his head. "I'm glad I'm too sane to work with your people, Harris."

"I'd like to have more people with sanity working with us. I'm hoping I get to train my protege soon and he has sense." They pulled onto the highway and toward Maryland. "Dawn sent my ID case and things up to New York by delivery people. It has the remains of my hellmouth taint concealing necklace."

"Great. Is that like magic?"

"It's like inter-world radiation. Dr. Banner had been studying it."

"Oh, okay." He made that note. "We should probably do a report. How did you know?"

***

Dawn knocked on a door. "Ma'am, I need some help. I made an oops."

"Who are you, child?" she asked, looking amused.

"Sorry, I'm Dawn Summers, Slayer Buffy's sister. I have magic I can't usually use but I grabbed onto someone earlier to protect them and it shrank them. Now I can't turn Dr. Banner back." She held him up. He fit nicely in her palm and was pouting. "Help?"

"Come in. Let's see if we can instruct you in how to undo it."

"I can't and am not supposed to be using my magic," she said, following her. "It was spur of the moment running from the higher thing that was attacking DC."

"I saw that on the news. Why don't you use your skills? The goddess gifted them to you, Dawn."

Dawn shook her head. "I'm not the usual witch and the way I was created, by magic, means I can't use the magic I hold most of the time. I let healers drain it off me usually so I'm not glowing with it."

"You need to learn how to control that."

"I can't. They didn't allow me to have control over the magic that made me." She stared at her. Then she moved closer to hiss in her ear. "That can't get out but I hold it and am not physically able to use it most of the time. I nearly broke the protections on it a few times trying to protect myself and earlier today was one."

"That's sad. Bad and sad." She sighed. "Let me see him. We can hopefully use your magic to undo it."

"I hope so. It protected him from all that but I thought he'd pop back a few hours later."

"That's fine. It was instinctive to help your protector." She called in a friend to help her. They looked over the spell. "It's a nice shrinking spell."

"It's the one Willow gets wrong that burns dinner on Andrew. I learned it to warn him she was doing it again." She nodded then grimaced. Dawn grinned. "I'm learning potions but Willow never measured a day in her life. I'm definitely not turning into her."

"I can see why. We'd all appreciate fewer of you young witches turning into her."

Dawn smiled. "There's a young witch in Africa that looked up to her. She made it snow to take out the bad people trying to attack her village." The witch moaned, shaking her head. "She was eight then. She's probably about ten now. She, Xander, and Rupert all had a talk about how to do that better and with less damage. Now she makes nibbling trees."

The witch patted her on the cheek. "You live a warped life, Dawn."

"I know but I'm in college. Studying to work with artifacts." She smiled. The witch snorted. When her friend came in to help they got down to work uncasting the shrinking charm.

He popped back to normal size and smiled at them. "Thank you, ladies. It was a bit weird being pocket sized."

"Sorry," Dawn said. "I was trying to make you lighter so you could move faster or maybe shrink a bit so you'd fit in a normal car."

"It's all right. It was a great learning experience." He gave her a careful hug. "Calm down, Dawn."

"I'm so ignoring my phone because I know my sister's nagged that they came for me again."

Bruce took the phone. He called Tony first. "I'm safe and my usual size. Where are we?"

"Lower Pennsylvania," Dawn said. "This is a member of the Amherst coven. They finally dealt with Willow."

"Thank you both, ladies." He shook their hands. "I'm glad that most witches aren't like Rosenburg was." They smiled. "Can we reimburse you for your effort?"

"No. It wasn't that hard, Dr. Banner. Dawn's a good girl and some day she'll learn better control."

Dawn looked at her and shook her head. "With the way I gained magic, there's no way I can use it. As shown earlier because the demon showed up to kill me." The witch stared. "There was an artifact and it ...infected me. That's how I have magic. It rebuilt my body with magic," she sighed. "I'm learning from healers. I donate a lot of energy to them."

"That's a good thing." They smiled and let them go, waving and smiling at them and the agent. "Such a nice girl."

"Very. Sad that she's so hampered. She could do great things with her magic."

"Yes but with that mess earlier, it's better if she not if that'll keep happening." The other witch nodded. "Well, let's have some tea. I haven't seen you since Saturday. Any news from the grandchildren?"

"Not yet. I'm hoping soon though." They went to make some tea and talk.

***

Giles looked up as Dawn walked into the office, handing over a report. "You didn't have to come up."

"Yes I did. The college kicked me out." She flopped down. "They agreed it wasn't my fault or my direct doing but having me there was too dangerous for the other students. I'm more than able to use their distance learning system though."

"That's unfortunately reasonable," he agreed. He read over the report. "So that's how it got started." She nodded. "Did you get to visit Xander?"

"No, we came here from Pennsylvania."

"Why?"

"The shrinking spell. I needed help undoing it."

"Ah. Some of the Amherst coven?" She nodded. "Good choice, Dawn."

"I got nagged a bit so explained how the artifact that basically rebuilt my body meant I couldn't really use it and if I tried, things like that appeared to eat the energy."

"Yes, they would. Your guard?"

"Switched out for a local one. He's in the car. He's a bit uptight."

Giles nodded. "Hopefully he'll be able to keep you safe. I can tell you that Xander doesn't appear to have caught anything off the germ cloud. It'll be three weeks to make sure." She smiled and nodded. "Everyone was quite happy that we managed to end that problem with help. Someone did ask if we could keep Xander out of DC since they think it's his fault."

"No, the humans started it and I had to shield myself," Dawn sighed. "That drew the wrong attention."

"We pointed that out. He wanted to know why and I told him it was classified and not anywhere anyone could find the information." He smiled. She grinned back. "So college by computer?" She nodded. "How many more months do you have?"

"Six more semesters until my masters."

"That's fine, Dawn. You can easily work around here."

"That means I get a paycheck?" she asked.

"Yes, you can be paid." He tidied up the report and filed it into his filing cabinet then looked at her. "Your sister can show you the local healers." She nodded. "If I never said it, I'm very proud of that decision. I'm sure your mother would be too." She smiled. "Go rest. It's been a trying twenty-four hours." She nodded, going up to her room. Giles sat back down and got comfortable. It was going to be a long three weeks straightening things out. Buffy shrieked but then Dawn laughed so it was fine he supposed.

***

Xander stared at his visitor. "I'm going to retire after I get someone trained to take care of my minis."

The doctor nodded. "Might be a good idea with how banged up you've been this year." He pulled a chair over. "They wanted me to go over your CT scans and some of the things in your medical files."

Xander nodded. "I'm confused by it anyway." That got a slight smile. "What did you need to know?"

"First, let's start with the weirdest. Chromosome damage?"

"Mermaids. Back in high school the coach really wanted to start having a winning swim team. I joined the team to see why they were turning black and slimy then eating people."

Buckaroo sighed but nodded. Of course it was something like that. Xander had shown he was a huge trouble magnet while they were on vacation near each other. Tommy was still teasing him that the boy was actually his. "Did they detox it?"

"Yup. I had a full blood transfusion out of bought stock." Buckaroo sighed and shook his head, making that note. "The hospital out there was like that. They fed the local community more than took care of the humans. You could buy nearly anything out of there. That's why I never went if I didn't have to. Twice in my life I've been there and I survived the ER. Once I even needed surgery."

"You were lucky."

"Yes I was. They were bad hacks though. They took out my appendix and I could see some of my guts through the incision that wasn't fully closed." Buckaroo stared at him. Xander nodded. "They were like that. I'm glad they decided they could practice on me instead of using me as a money making venture."

"I'd be happy too." He looked at the notes. "First concussion?"

"Six."

"Last concussion?"

"The battle before last."

Buckaroo looked up at him. "Why?"

"Huge ass demons." He shifted to curl up. "Attacked the military hospital and all that?"

"I remember seeing that." He made another note. "What number concussion was that?"

"I lost track at ten. Willow swore I double counted a few."

Buckaroo looked up at him. "Is she still around?"

"No idea where."

"Okay, we can handle that if she shows up to take you out."

"She's not that direct. She'd bless me with great luck, which would warp thanks to the hellmouth taint."

"Would that be the radiation?"

"Yes. Dr. Banner had me hooked up to some machines to look at that."

"Good. Maybe he can find a way to weed it out of you?"

"I have no idea why I sucked up more than my fair share."

"Wonderful." He went back to the notes.

Xander grinned. "Usually it's girls that get that frustrated with me. You're not secretly a slayer, right?" he teased.

Buckaroo smirked at him. "No, I don't nag. Outside of Tommy." He got back to work. They finally got to the CT and Xander stared at it with his head tipped to the side. "That's the brain," he said.

"I can see that. I'm wondering if the visions are the dark spot here, or here," he said with a point.

"Good question. We don't know either."

"Hmm. A mystery. Then again we used to call ourselves the Scooby gang." Buckaroo looked at him. "I could never decided if I was supposed to be Shaggy or Scooby."

"I'm hoping Shaggy since he was the human. Why not Fred?"

"Not sporty. I could never wear the gay scarf either." Buckaroo cracked up at that, making Xander smile at him. "How soon before I get pity cuddles from someone?"

"A long, long time. You have another week and a half."

"Shoot." He shifted and sat back down again. "Now what?"

"Now....are you going to take a vacation?"

"I'd like not to be in pain for a few days," Xander admitted. "It's been a bad year."

"It has." He stared at him. "Remember, that town said to warn them if you came back so they could be on the watch for you to trip into more cursed treasure."

"That was fun."

"Your idea of fun is a bit twisted, Xander."

"I'm the twisted slinky of the higher powers. They didn't tell you that?" he quipped with a grin. Buckaroo looked at him. "I am. They hate me like hell so they twist me more then they have to let me go to fix their problems."

"Sounds more like a yo-yo."

"Yeah but I'm not that crazy or Buffy so I'm a slinky." Buckaroo smiled, shaking his head again. "Buffy's the undead yo-yo. All the girls call her that. It's even her email address."

"Your people are nuts."

"Yes they are. Me, I'm a bit more sane than some but that's because I learned early on to escape the girls when they were being ...cranky."

Buckaroo stared at him for a minute. "Three years?"

"Unless I get a protege sooner. Because I really ache."

"I can see why. Lay back down."

"I hate laying down."

"Yay. We have to put in the IV again." Xander sighed but laid down and let him lay the IV with the preventative antibiotics. "Thank you for cooperating."

"I know they have to do it in case." He looked at him. "You know, someone has samples of it from when they took me to experiment on," he said quietly. "Which scares the fuck outta me."

Buckaroo blinked a few times. "They do?"

"Yeah. Last year I was taken on my way back to Africa by a group that wanted to see what made me have visions. Then another group had me for a bit. We know one was HYDRA."

"Crap."

"Yup." He nodded. "So fair warning I guess."

"They're already distilling yours."

"The docs that did the test for the president said they can do that to three of them."

"I'll let them know."

"I thought that one in the mall was them and it wasn't. Then again, I'm paranoid."

"You're reasonably paranoid, kid. It's a great thing." He left, going to talk to the head doctors, who had been listening.

"We heard," one said. "He's right. The kidnaping is in his file with the Secret Service and there's a nice one line note about him having been sick in the past. When I asked nicely they gave over that set of results. Someone at the CDC cooked it down."

"So they're on alert?"

"They are. I'm hoping they don't have enough to do anything major with but I can understand why he's worried."

"This is his third demon attack in a few weeks," Buckaroo said. "He was the guy in Africa."

"We saw," another promised, then looked up to say a silent prayer. "They hopefully won't be coming here and he has a knife in there in case he really needs it."

"That's good. Let me know if you need more help."

"Someone has to figure out those brain anomalies," the head doctor said with a smile.

"One may be from his visions."

"So that's the guy that Director Fury outed," the other researcher said. Buckaroo nodded. "Big ones?"

"Apocalypse battles."

"Then necessary. Poor guy." He saw Xander knocking and toggled the speaker. "What's wrong, Mr. Harris."

"I just freaked out the half-demon janitor. Someone might want to make sure he's not crying in the bathroom and if you're working on vision stuff, get the files from Rupert on Cordelia Chase and there's three others I locked into the infirmary's safe. She had the most scans of any of us but they're three different sources giving visions that we know of."

"We can do that," Buckaroo agreed. "I'll send New Jersey. The girls all adore him. How bad?"

"They've all got autopsy reports and scans," Xander said. "Cordelia lasted almost two years with hers but hers were directly from the Powers That Be and they told the half-demon she inherited them from that they were painful to make sure you knew it wasn't a daydream. His brain handled them better but then again he died to stop nazi asshole demons from nuking LA."

Buckaroo moaned, nodding. "I'll have him gather those on his way down. Where do yours come from?"

"No idea," Xander admitted. "At all. In those files, hers are PTB given. One was given by a wish demon, he asked for them. The other we were never sure but I'd guess it was a higher demon instead of a good power with the way he kept yelping at holy water."

"Good to know. We can look them over to compare. You, go rest."

"I can do that. Make the janitor quit crying? I'm not going to be mean to him." He went back to his bed.

"I'll go find the janitor," one of the guards said. "I know he's peaceful if he's here." He walked off shaking his head. This was the most lively the unit had been in years.

Buckaroo walked off calling. "It's me, Sydney. I need you to stop at the main Council house and pick up medical records that are in their safe on Cordelia Chase and a few other seers. Xander said he put them in there himself. Thank you. Yes, I'm making you pay off your poker debt this way," he said dryly when it was asked. He smiled. "Yup, see you tomorrow." He hung up and went back to looking at the brain images. They were really fascinating. One of the areas with damage looked like where their powers were activated. But Xander didn't have any.

***

One of the slayers opened the door at the polite knock, staring at the guy there. "Um... I've seen you on Willow's fangirl posters. Need a slayer?" she quipped with a grin.

"I need Rupert for Xander. He left some files that might be relevant to his care in the infirmary."

"Giles is yelling at a principal yet again so it'll be at least twenty minutes but I can get our doc down. She could use a break. She's still mad she just delivered a baby for one of us."

"Usually that's a happy time," he said, stepping in.

"The slayer's fourteen and no one knew she was pregnant. She's real mad at Hailey." She led him to the sitting room then jogged off to the infirmary. "Hey, Doc?" She looked up from fussing over the baby. "You got a visitor who I've seen on one of Willow's fangirl posters."

"Why?"

"Xander said he needed a few files you have somewhere."

"Okay." Hailey tried to take the baby but the doctor walked out with her to feed her. "Rest, Hailey."

"Yes, Doc. Thanks for changing diapers," she quipped with a wave at her back. She slid down to nap with the other young one coming over to nag her.

The other slayer smiled. "We'll fuss over you now because your sore butt won't ever be able to sit again once Buffy hears."

"I'm just happy Xander can't fly up and swat me," she said. "You know he would."

That one nodded. "Yup."

The doctor walked into the sitting room and paused. "I know who you are," she said with a smile. "What files did you need? I hardly ever see Xander."

"He said he left some files about some seers in the safe. One on Cordelia Chase and there's three others?"

"Ah, that file. We do have one but I need Rupert to okay the release." She looked at the baby, who was sucking hard on her bottle. Then back up at him. "She's resting."

"It's fine. On my bad days I go hover by the nursery. OB's have the happiest job of all doctors."

"Yeah, they do. There's days I wanted to do that." She got comfortable. "Where's Rupert?" she called.

"The middle school, again," one of the other watchers complained. "He needs to discipline those girls before they do the same damn thing Hailey did."

The doctor leaned over to look at him. "Hailey got drunk at a party and she got her butt chewed for it. She'll get further chewed on for hiding the pregnancy since it could've killed her. Even Xander nagged her about that party. She hasn't done it since then. She's even talked to a few of the younger girls about not doing that because they'd hate the outcome." That watcher huffed as he walked off. She shook her head. "Old liners," she said quietly.

"I saw the documentary." He smiled and wiggled his fingers at the baby. "Hi, precious."

"Her mom's thinking she'll be an Annabelle."

"That's a pretty name." The baby belched but that was normal baby behavior.

Buffy stomped in. "Doc, why did I get a head's up that Hailey's off training?" she demanded. She paused at the sight of the baby. "Where did that come from? A new mini that had problems?"

"Hailey got pregnant that time she got drunk."

"Fuck!" Buffy said. They heard a few of the girls jump. "How stupid is she! She should have told us! If only so I could've bought cute stuff for the baby!" She stomped off to yell at her mini.

"Oh, come on, Buffy!" Hailey whined loud enough to be heard. "I'm sore! The huge baby came outta my butt and I can barely sit! I'm just really glad Xander's not here to beat me to death but can you lighten up? I didn't know!"

"I need to do some remedial anatomy lessons," Doc quipped, cracking New Jersey up. Giles stomped in. "Giles, I need you for a second before you go yell at Hailey."

He came in and blinked at the baby. "A new mini that got dropped off due to horrifying circumstances?"

"Hailey's new baby."

"Interesting. Were we aware of its presence?"

"No and apparently neither was she."

"Oh, dear."

Doc smiled. "This is a very nice neurologist and Xander sent him to get the files on seers so they can compare to his brain in case it's needed. I need authorization to release it."

"Which seers?"

"He mentioned Cordelia Chase and three others, Mr. Giles."

He blinked. "We'd like for that information to remain a bit quiet."

"So would I," New Jersey assured him with a smile. "The problem is that we found a brain anomaly with Xander. We need to figure out if it's something from a vision or something from the repeated head injuries he's had, or a brain change due to whatever he coughed up from that cloud of germs."

"That's a reasonable thing."

"Also, we may be able to find something that could ease the pain for him and any others. I know he's said that there's nothing to do that."

"No, there's not. Cordelia tried everything, even quite a few illicit things." He considered it. "Yes, we can allow that as long as it doesn't get too widely spread."

"Myself, Buckaroo, and the NIH team that's treating him can overview it?"

"That'd be reasonable I suppose. Thank you and do let us know if you can figure out anything about visions. Including who gifts his to him."

"I can do that. Thank you." He shook his hand.

Buffy stomped out. "Giles, Hailey had a baby and we didn't even know so we could buy the baby stuff."

He looked at her. "We'll have to buy plenty now, though I dread that shopping receipt."

"Second hand stores have a lot of useful things," New Jersey said. "Babies that young only care that they're covered, not what they wear. When Mrs. Johnson, our compound's caretaker, had hers she shopped there for all but the cute picture outfits."

Buffy smiled. "That could help. They'd have cribs too?"

"Maybe. If not they might know where to look to get one cheaply. Buy the expensive, heavy, durable one if more of you are having kids soon. Buy the one that'll last the needed two years if not."

Buffy grimaced. "I don't want to do that at all. We can buy her the cheaper crib." She walked off.

Doc smiled at him. "I did that when mine was little. Now she's thirteen and her father swears up and down her closet is as big as a mall." She got up and walked off. Giles took the baby from her to cuddle at with Andrew. "Thanks, guys. She just ate."

"That's fine. We should get used to having such a tiny thing around," Giles said. "Andrew, I fear the girls are going to be shopping for days."

Andrew looked at the baby, nodding. "Those things scare me. Though, yeah, I'll make room for the bags of stuff." He walked off before he was asked to hold it.

Doc smiled at her guest. "I can get you those." She led him to the infirmary, having to move around the girls in there talking to Hailey. She dug that file folder out of the safe, handing over the accordion file. "There you go. I hope it helps and he's all right."

"So far he's still telling bad jokes and he's really happy he can't be nagged yet."

"He's getting it when he gets back," one of the young slayers said with a southern accent. "I'm gonna turn into my Grandma and yell at him like she used to yell at me!"

"I'll tell him you want him to get better sooner so he can't run," New Jersey said, getting a grin and a hug. He patted her on the head. She bounded off to find the baby to coo at. He nodded at the doctor and left, going down to Maryland. The one driving him was reading but he put it away as soon as he got into the car. "There's a new baby in the house."

"Awww. I'm so glad we guys don't have to deal with that. We'd be horribly mushy and never get anything done." He drove off, letting the doctor look over the results. "Anything good?"

"On seers."

"Oh. That stuff."

"Yeah. This one's... wow." He put the file back together so he could read the physical files on the way there. That poor girl before she died.

***

The semi-ghostly figure appeared holding a kid in her tentacles, looking at the guy on the bed.

"If that's Hailey's son, someone's in deep."

"Nah, Hailey had a girl. He's Mia's little brother that was miscarried. She's all sad."

"If I could call...." He waved a hand.

"I know." She smirked. "Sweet job getting them into my visions scans." He grinned back. "Retiring? Might be harder."

"I know but I can try or fall back to research and stuff. Like the demons, the old liners consider me weaker."

She nodded. "Yup. They're going to try to take you out in here." Xander pointed at the canister on his bedside table. "Sweet."

"Nah, I was never sweet." He sat up, looking at her. "Any other traumas with my girls?"

"Yihana's watcher is a dick."

"I'm going to kick his ass again soon."

She smiled. "Not soon enough."

"Have Dawn call?"

"I'm having Faith call." He smirked evilly at her. "Yeah. Plus she's going to see the girls down there with your future protege." He nodded. "So..." She looked around. "They might think you're talking to yourself."

"One can see you from the doorway, Cordy. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. It's a quiet month. They didn't have any of those attacks planned."

"I noticed I haven't gotten a vision for this upcoming spring yet."

"It's not a real apocalypse. It's more initiative style douches. That hunting team thing is going to bite them on the ass."

He nodded. "I can pass that on."

"They won't listen."

"They will listen. I found three of them were on the team that kidnaped me."

"They won't listen or care, Xander. You're just a guy who jumped in to them."

Xander smiled. "You know what? I think I need to show my skills. Buffy's going to sob."

"Why?"

Xander smiled. "What happened in Scytha?"

"A lot of hell.... oh, shit."

"Oh, yeah." He smiled. "You can warn her though."

"I can do that." She stared at him. "So, vacation?" she guessed.

He grinned. "It's not a horrible one. Kinda boring and the food sucks but it's not bad."

"Cool." She smirked. "The higher ups said you better find a way to become immortal. They don't want you to guard a slayer or anything else."

"If I'm killed for a bad reason I'm coming back as an avatar of justice."

She squeaked. "Oh, that's so bad."

He smiled. "I know. But it means I can beat up on boyfriends for future slayers." He grinned. She patted him and kissed him on the forehead then left with the spirit kid. Xander looked at the one in the doorway. "Cordy."

"The one in the file?" that doctor asked. Xander nodded. "Ah."

"She's now the messenger for the Powers That Be."

"Why did she have tentacles?"

"Being partially turned made the visions not kill her as fast."

"Charming. Try to rest and I'll tell them you need better food." He reclosed the door and went to report that.

Cordelia appeared across town, smiling at the woman. "Let me lay the knowledge low on you, Samantha Finn." She flinched, stepping away from her. "Good idea. Your little plan to resurrect your husband's former job? It's a bad one. It's the apocalypse over a few springs and it'll start a civil war humanity won't win. Because there's higher powered ones than the ones that came after Xander recently. The one that was immortal? They consider him a pussy." Finn's eyes were wide. "Xander hasn't had a vision because it won't be an apocalypse battle and the slayers don't have to protect you from your own idiocy. So take the hint, okay? The clue bus is honking and you should get on." She disappeared to another site, smiling at the man there.

"Who're you?" he asked.

"Cordelia Chase. I used to be on the LA team." She kept her form. "You need to look at a few things and spread it *real* far because the spring apocalypse isn't a battle. It's the initiative coming back again." She looked up then kept her form steady. "Look at Xander's hidden history. Look at Scytha, which was on a mystical side realm that he got summoned to. Look at all those and talk to Variyana's mom. She has the notes on a few of those battles since they were around her. Xander spent sixteen months out of time fighting things we think are myths. And if the initiative restarts, or the hunting team of them, then the slayers don't have to protect the people doing it. Take the hint, please? We don't want to see this horrible civil war." She faded out, glaring at her bosses. "It's stopping the huge civil war."

"Still not your duty," one of the Powers That Be said.

She shrugged. "I was there." She walked off. "Not like you sent Whistler."

***

Xander woke up the next morning to screaming people. He looked at his IV, which was running, then at the screen showing the doctors having a fight. He coughed loudly. "What's that bad that you had to wake me up?" he called. "I was dreaming of harem girls who liked to do more than pity cuddle and feed me."

The doctor flinched, staring at the screen. "You went where?" he demanded.

"Was it one of the ones I was pulled to or was it one of the ones I just happened to fall into? Ask the nice neurologist guy, he's seen me do that." He sat up. "Which one are we talking about, Dr. Fosters?"

"Some mystical bull realm?"

"Oh, the I got pulled there trip. There had been a war. It had left a lot of damage and they were about to be invaded by demons. I was working with one of the Indian slayers because she needed to know how to use an axe and the guy in Asia can't." He grinned. "Their six-year-old queen went to pray at their altar, which went to a higher power over here, that they'd find warriors that could defend even their enemies from the demons trying to take them out since they were weak. She and I were there. She and I did some good work and got the people working together with her. The queen was a sweet kid. She had early balls of steel but she was a sweet kid. We helped a lot."

He grinned. "After sixteen months at that, and with extra lessons from their arms teachers for both of us, we're both even better with swords and axes. We were gone for about three days here." The doctor gaped, staring at him then huffed. "Doctor Fosters, things like that just happen around me. She even managed to find a husband her mother adores because he helps around the house." He shrugged and grinned. "I thought you'd be more upset about the cave battle or the mine thing. Or hey, even the battle with pirates."

"Shut up, kid," one of the nurses yelled. "He's going to blow his stack soon."

Xander grinned and waved at her. "I could talk about the other stuff. Things like the battles that no one saw because no one else was there. Some of those are really bad and things I don't like to remember. Though the queen's mother kept trying to throw parties until we pointed out we weren't that sort of being and that looked really bad to the rest of the people." He smirked. "It wasn't that bad."

"What about the one with the crystals?"

Xander laughed. "Oh, so bad. I almost wanted to be blind after that." He shook his head. "It helped. A lot. Still so bad. I think I defeated that one with a vibrator. One of Anya's she had shoved into my pack." The doctor whimpered and walked off shaking his head. "The crystals hummed," he explained to the horrified looking nurse. "The demon was driven batty by the humming. He offed himself." She groaned and left too.

Cordelia appeared, staring at him, head tipped to the side. "How did you defeat the blue thing in the well?"

"I had been drunk the night before thanks to the battle in that one temple. I threw up in his water. He got so horrified he got out to scrub himself off and I got him since he couldn't regenerate without the water." He smiled. "Or are we talking about the hairy one that I just brushed until he went back to sleep?"

"We're not going to talk about that, Xander. The weird plan that works thing is really, really wrong." She disappeared.

Xander grinned as he looked up. "I turned down the one that wanted to make me a human siren."

"Thank you muchly," she quipped back. "Please quit before I get the same headache the PTB get?"

Whistler showed up, adjusting his hat. He looked at Xander. "Kid, the higher ups would like you to retire."

"I've got to train people to take care of my minis then I'll fall back to huge battles, training somewhere safer, and research."

"Yeah, they'd like you to retire more than that."

Xander nodded. "Not like I won't jump in if humanity needs me to."

"Point. That's your personality. We actually took a look at your history thanks to that bit of showing from Cordelia. They're a bit...horrified really."

Xander grinned. "I can only do what I can when I'm the only one there."

Whistler nodded. "We get that. We totally get that. Take a year off?"

"I'm going to be taking about four months off to fully heal."

"Can you stretch it out?"

"Let me find a nice lover?"

"Yeah, there's no hope of that. You might breed."

"Infertile," he quipped. "Always have been."

"Really? Huh." He nodded. "Then maybe we will. Um...just...heal and take some time off, all right? And don't answer the phone. A reporter went to ask Buffy first instead of Rupert." He disappeared, going to warn Rupert since Buffy was talking to the reporter.

Xander shrugged and settled in, reaching over to turn off the IV machine when it beeped. "My IV's done," he called.

"We'll come in after we take something for the headache," the nurse called back.

"Okay. I turned it off."

"Thank you, Xander."

***

Buffy stomped into the house. "Xander turned into a strange, geeky thing, Giles!"

"Whistler told me about them," he called from his office. "Most of them aren't under the same codes in his journal. That's why we missed them. Interesting." He went back to reading the other things. "I do hope his future protege doesn't learn that sort of thing from him," he said, clicking off the story of his weekend with two nice bad girls who liked weapons.

She stomped in there. "He went to some fantasy realm, Giles. There were elves!"

"Yes, I saw that report." He looked at her. "They summoned him, Buffy. He didn't voluntarily go."

"Still! It's Xander!"

"Yes and he was what was needed." He stared at her. "It could have been worse."

She snorted. "It could've been Andrew but he's a real geek. Not a fake geek like Xander."

Andrew knocked then leaned in. "Don't start. I could've easily solved it. They just called him because he was there. Sorta like how he fell into cursed buried treasure on his last real vacation."

She glared. "He can't do that."

"Yes he can. He's just like that." He looked at Giles. "Want me to send off the reporters that want to talk to you?"

"Please, Andrew." He smiled. "At least his quarantining time will hopefully let some of this die down without him being seen." Andrew nodded. Buffy huffed again. "Dear, perhaps you should go find some chocolate?" She stomped off. Giles went back to reading. "Sometimes Xander is the most amusing thing. Then again, sometimes he's the reason we all drink."

***

Xander looked over as someone entered his room. "Wow, someone was real liberal to let a reporter in here. Guys, is the reporter supposed to be here?" he yelled. "She doesn't even have a mask on."

"Don't breathe on her," a nurse called. "Guards are coming, Xander."

"Thank you." He looked at her. "I'm sure you'll have a great three week stay too," he quipped with a smile. "Why did you break a federal level quarantine to bother me?"

"You did things that no one else has."

"Sometimes I was the only one there."

"You fell into buried treasure in South Africa."

"I did it more than that." He grinned. "Things like that happen around me." The guards hauled her out and up to the doctors to yell at her. Xander waved at her back. "Have a nice time off, lady!" He grinned at the screen. "What's going around now?"

"A story about pirates."

"Which one?" She glared. "Sorry! Once they had me hostage. Once I had to get weapons. Once I found out they were pirates because we were drinking and they tried to recruit me because I was really drunk and still hit the mouse that tried to eat me."

She nodded. "You're weird."

"Sometimes." He grinned. "I would've gone nuts any other way."

"Probably true," she agreed. "No wonder there's doctors wondering about your unique brain structure." He laughed. "I'll let them know so they can find that part. Maybe we can turn it down." She walked off to do that.

Xander could hear the screaming at the reporter. He turned on the tv, watching the entertainment news people having a fit about him. It was so sweet. Wait until they heard a few things that even Giles was going to drink about. "At least the slayers can't nag while I'm in here. Or the witches. Because the coven's going to have a seizure about it."

***

Dawn looked up from grocery shopping for Andrew, he had bruised his hand earlier, when someone cleared their throat. "Yes?"

"Miss Summers?" Dawn nodded. "We know you're related to Buffy."

"She's my sister."

"That's good. Do you have a quote about Mr. Harris' weird things? Especially about the crystal cavern? Or the world crystal perhaps? Or maybe even that one witch that was going to explode?"

"Haven't heard about the last two. The first one, it annoyed him and Xander said he had never felt so blind in there. Thankfully the crystals hummed and it drove the demon nuts." She smiled. "He solved it with a vibrator his late former fiancee had left in his backpack."

"A...vibrator?"

"Humming crystals at vibration...." Dawn prompted.

"Oh. That may drive me nuts too," she agreed. "You didn't hear about the other things?"

"Xander shared some stories with me since I won't nag like my sister does. Neither of those." She got out of someone's way. "What about that witch?"

"She had been cursed to absorb magic and have to get pregnant to solve it. Apparently he somehow helped drain her through sex magic?"

"Sex magic is usually used for power raising but you also channel it to an intended purpose. It makes sense he could help her channel it. Did she get pregnant? Xander's infertile."

"No, but I'm told the local county had very good crops?"

"That's a great use of that sort of energy." Dawn smiled. "It's fertility energy and that'd help with crops. That's a great use." She shifted her weight.

The reporter frowned. "I guess I can see how that helps. Especially since everyone was avoiding her because she was glowing."

"Yeah, that's an aura problem when you're too full of magic."

"Do you do that?"

"I donate the stuff I can't use to a healer or two." She smiled. "It's very helpful and it means they can help more beings."

"Do they treat humans?"

"Not always. A lot of humans wouldn't go to them even if they would." She shrugged. "They're not treated by the local ER's. Someone's got to help the peaceful one's injuries." She grinned. "I've leant energy to help a lot of things. From little kids who needed stitches to a birthing problem once, to a lot of other things. I'm learning a lot from them too. Including potions for my artifact work."

"Interesting. Why don't the local ER's handle any peaceful demon's injuries?"

Dawn shrugged. "Have to ask them." She smiled at the butcher, taking the boxes. "Andrew's only ordering for a day?" she asked.

"We have another six boxes, ma'am."

Dawn smiled. "I'm Dawn. Andrew bruised his hand earlier." He nodded, smiling as he walked off to get them. She smiled at the reporter. "I'm doing grocery shopping for him."

"The girls eat that much?"

Dawn snorted. "My sister closed out a buffet more than once. Slayers eat a *ton*. They go through it awfully fast, but they go through about six thousand calories a day."

"Your sister's been looking skinny."

"I know." She took more boxes. "She needs a new boyfriend. She always eats better when she's got one." The reporter nodded, walking off at that. She winked at the butcher, who handed her the last few boxes. "Thanks."

"Welcome. Have fun hauling the ones from produce."

"I'm glad I'm not chocolate shopping. Some of the girls are super picky about what kind they want." She walked off. "Thanks." She went to check out after a swing to get milk. The manager had the rest of their order and she had Andrew's special card. It went through and they loaded up the van Andrew had given her to drive. On the way home she paused for fries and a burger, then went home to watch the slayers haul food inside. The burger and fries were so she'd get something to eat tonight. Only stupid people got between slayers and food.

***

Xander was back to watching the screaming doctor show on the monitor. The nurses weren't even trying to calm him down now. He wondered what had started off this fit but they'd tell him eventually or the doctor would shout about it instead of incoherent screaming.

"We will not *ever* treat demons!" the doctor finally screamed.

"Doctor Fosters?" Xander called. "You do know that there's a lot of peaceful demons?" The doctor glared at him and turned off the monitor. "Fine. That's why there's healers." A nurse came in with his next IV bag. "Some day we'll all be without prejudices about species."

"Maybe," she said. "It'll be a while though. Look at the other racial tension going on."

"True. I've seen some of that based on birthplace and then being a white guy in Africa. Everyone thought I was an aid worker or a missionary." He grimaced. "Do I really have to have the IV? It's been two weeks."

"Two more days of it."

He grimaced. "Please?"

"No."

He stopped her from sticking him, pointing at a tag. "When did I start that one?"

She looked, frowning. "That's a different version of your usual one. It's the generic name." She looked at him. "None of us would hurt you for what you do, Xander." He waved a hand toward the monitor. "Even him." He nodded, letting her stick him. "If he does, you turn into that guy that took down a hell goddess for flirting with you."

"I didn't take her out for flirting with me. I did it because she tried to bite me." The nurse walked out giggling. Xander watched the IV start to drip, sighing. "I feel like I'm on an execution table and it's like Russian roulette. I should quit thinking that about people. I'm too paranoid."

The monitor came back on and the nurse nodded. "You are. We can have someone talk to you about that."

Xander looked at her. "Maybe when I retire. Or I'll write a book for the mini slayers." He grinned. "That way they and the future watchers know what's really out there."

"I'm sure they'd be amused but you'd have to rate it for adults only. It might be too late for them." She walked off. Xander could hear her talking to the huffy one. "Doctor Fosters, Xander's worried that your little fit means you're going to try to doctor his IV and kill him." The doctor huffed again like a girl. "You're making him more paranoid. We probably shouldn't do that. It might bring up one of the ones he already carried." She walked off. She had to check that reporter that was in federal custody for breaking into Xander's room. The doctor stomped off but went to the hospital chapel to get right with his version of a higher being.

***
Part 8 by Voracity2
Notes:
The last part of this was a bit too long for a part so it was broken up.
Xander nearly danced out of the hospital when they let him go. As soon as he was out of that mandatory wheelchair he was all but dancing up the street to the bus stop. A hand grabbed him, hauling him to a van. "Hi," he chirped. "I'm free!"

"There's six reporters waiting on you in Cleveland," Tommy joked, smirking at him. "The boss wanted you."

"Okay. Did he figure out about visions?"

"Just that he hopes he never gets any."

"I won't kiss him then," Xander said. "That's how Cordy got hers. Doyle kissed her before he died."

"Yeah, we don't need that to happen." He opened the van door and pointed then walked around to get in and drive.

Xander climbed in and closed the door. "Did you figure out visions?"

"He kissed her and turned hers on?"

"I think he passed the gift over," Xander admitted.

"Yeah, let's not try that," New Jersey said with a smile. "Some of the damage is vision related." Xander nodded, losing some of the grin. "You figured that?"

"With the way they hurt? I'm sure there's a tiny little tornado in there destroying whole blocks. Some day soon I'll have to hold telethons to raise money to rebuild them."

Buckaroo looked at him. "Be serious."

"I am serious. I know it's causing damage. It hurts a whole lot when I get one. I've had one ear start to bleed one time. I figured there was damage, just not as much as Cordy had."

"You're showing half the damage she had at the first scan, that was about a year of her having visions."

"I've had them for seven years now," Xander said. "Okay." He looked at them. "I'm guessing the other damage was concussions?" Buckaroo nodded. "Got it. Gotta stop doing that soon anyway."

"Might be a good idea. Are you really going to retire?"

"I might fall back to training. Especially with the really minis. They shouldn't have to be in Cleveland." He got comfortable while they drove around. "I just turned thirty this year. I started this fourteen years ago. My plan is about three years long since so many of those new watchers won't be fully out of training until then."

"Okay," Buckaroo said. "Then what? What about the bloodline stuff?"

"Are we sure it wasn't activated?"

"You show some damage in that area. We think it might be the hellmouth taint," New Jersey said.

"I don't think we can ever weed it all out," Xander said. "Can we?"

"Not sure," Buckaroo said. "Are you willing to take it up if we can?"

Xander nodded. "It can only help since I've had visions of apocalypse battles that even you were at. The next one's in five years. You were playing some sort of lute instrument."

Buckaroo blinked a few times. "I was?" Xander nodded. "Why?"

"No idea." He shrugged. "Huge battle just outside NYC."

"Good to know. Five years?" Xander nodded. "Huh."

Xander nodded. "I'm still going to be there for bigger battles, even when I retire. The girls need more help, not less. I'll still be protecting myself and any minis around me. That's the guy I am."

"We get that," Tommy agreed. "As long as you're not actively hunting it should be okay."

"I haven't really actively hunted more than huge problems. It's not like I hold patrol in Africa. In Sunnydale we did. Regional houses do and if I'm there I do take my turn." He looked at Buckaroo again. "Why would they care?"

"It unbalances things."

"Is this the Powers That Be? Because they hate me more than anything ever created."

"The Powers That Were, who hated the slayers had to be created," Buckaroo said.

Xander nodded. "So the ones that let the demons take over the plane?"

"No clue," Buckaroo sighed.

Xander grinned. "I'm not against it. It'll mean I might live to see forty. Maybe even forty-two. I realize I'm ancient for a hunter. Slayers used to last a year, year and a half at the most. Hunters, people who did it with them instead of watchers, lasted about as long and usually got turned into something horrible. I've lasted tons longer than that. It's about time for me to find a great evil cuddly thing and then retire. I'm still realistic and pretty darn good at pissing off higher beings. What if that's a plot in itself?"

Buckaroo considered it. "I think you're still paranoid."

"We're pretty sure the whole First Evil time was a plot by the PTB to get enough slayers for the invasion," Xander said. Who knew New Jersey had an eye twitch. He grinned at him. "Yeah, so we know they have bad ideas. I've overturned them repeatedly. Which they hate me for."

"So maybe not so paranoid," Tommy agreed. "Would it matter?"

"I think that depends on why they think it's necessary," Xander said, looking at Buckaroo again. "Why is it necessary that we all take up our bloodlines? I'm not against it, but why now? Why not when we were younger and more able to handle it?"

"We didn't find out about you and Darcy until a few years ago."

"If there's a plot it involves Darcy," Tommy said. "Her bloodline would be more openly used." He glanced back then parked. "We have no idea what you'll be under since there's no war god."

Xander grinned. "That must be nice." They all nodded. He looked at the other two. "Any orders beyond not to order a whole lot of takeout, docs?"

"Go nap," Buckaroo said. "Don't call in an ex-girlfriend. A few were found and asked, they were horrified too."

Xander smiled. "I don't date nice girls usually. Only the naughty ones, going toward evil, love me." He climbed out and went to get a room at the hotel.

Tommy looked back at them. "The guy who did his background check must have some version of pre-sentience. He said it'd be a huge problem."

"I don't find him a problem. I find that he does what he's got to do," Buckaroo said. "It would've been great if he had gotten into science." New Jersey nodded he agreed. "We could've mentored him."

"I think he'd do fine, but I'm worried they'd be upset," New Jersey said quietly.

"They might," Buckaroo said. "They were upset I was doing science."

"Why don't we let them meet?" Tommy said. "It might piss him off but it might go."

"Darcy agreed too because she got hurt in the last battle," Buckaroo said. "We can do that. It's in a few days."

"We can make sure he gets there. Not like he's going to be going back to the main house for a few days. They'll start to nag."

"So we just have to make sure one of his ex's doesn't kidnap him?" Tommy asked, pointing at one. New Jersey called Xander to warn him. The kid came out to kiss her and get cuddled. "Ah, pity cuddles. He really likes those."

"I like those when Penny gives them to me too," Buckaroo quipped. They heard someone squeal in pleasure. All three guys shook their heads as they drove off. "So that's the plan?" The other two shrugged. "Okay. Someone has to get Darcy."

"New Jersey, call her?"

"Sure." He pulled out his phone. "Hey, Darcy, it's New Jersey. Actually, he is out. He's presently being distracted by a former lover. Xander called it pity cuddles but she's real loud. We were going to talk to you two in two days. Are you going to be busy?" He smiled. "Yes, about that. Thank you. There's fine. It's closer for us anyway. We'll have to get Xander up there. Thank you. See you then. Whatever's fine. We're not going to be all that dressed up. Okay, see you then. Oh, tell Dr. Banner that we could not weed all the hellmouth taint out of Xander, but we did get some of it. He's down by about a quarter of it. Xander also gave us the location of all the other hellmouths if he wants it. Thanks." He hung up and leaned back. Cop cars sped past them. He shook his head. "Heading to break up the noise?"

Tommy called home. "Who are the cops going to rescue?" He listened, nodding. "Yeah, it's the kid. Why?" He sighed, turning them around. "We can do that. Thanks, Brad." He hung up his hands-free system. "She's on three wanted lists." Buckaroo groaned but nodded. "We should see if he knows where others are." They went back there and got Xander free of the officers. Tommy strolled over, getting a few odd looks. "He's Council. They're ex's, guys. Leave him be? He's just out of the hospital in quarantine." They let Xander go, nodding at him to go. "C'mon. We're going to meet up with Darcy in two days. You two can hang out."

"I can sleep in a tree. I'm pretty good in it. Sorry we were so loud, guys."

"Her present husband turned her in, sir," one said.

Xander looked at her. "You're married? I don't touch married, Stephanie."

She pouted. "He's pathetic in bed, Xander," she complained. "It's so much better with you. We had to talk about restocking anyway. The slayers probably need more weapons."

"Yeah, they do," he agreed. "A whole lot. This last year has been one long battle with higher demons." The officers gave him an odd look. "Not like someone gives us weapons, people. We have to play kitten poker or buy from nice people like Stephanie. Do you have to arrest her?"

"Sir, she's on three different wanted lists," one said. "Sorry but yes. You can talk to her when she gets bail." He walked her off.

Tommy tugged on Xander's arm. "Go get stuff and we'll go up north."

"I need to check out."

"Xander, take my wallet," she called. "You'll need the money for a motel for the next few days and I don't want *him* to have it." She looked at Tommy then smiled. "Brenda and her girlfriend are up there too. They wanted to talk to you about restocking too." She got pushed into a car. "Let him take the money, guys. It's legit. My husband's a surgeon and a jackass. Serves him right."

"Whatever," the officer said. Xander went up to get her jacket and weapons, taking the weapons too. The money went into his pocket then he handed over her wallet.

She took a kiss and smiled. "I'm getting a divorce anyway. He's not worthy of me." She winked and the officer closed the car door, letting Tommy walk Xander off.

Xander sighed once he was in the van. "I didn't know she was married. I don't like to touch taken people."

"It's always a good plan," Buckaroo agreed. He had shifted to the front seat. "Rest. There's a motel just up the street from the compound."

"I can do that. Thanks, guys."

"Are they going to have that same sort of thing with Brenda?" Tommy asked as he drove them off.

"No, probably not. Brenda used to be an agent. Her girlfriend may still be." He considered it. "They're cute and they like to cuddle but not have sex. It's always fun." He shook his head.

"Sleep, kid," New Jersey said. He pulled out a book to read. Xander curled up on his side in the chair, going to sleep. The three shared a look in the mirror. Xander had a lot of life left in him. A whole lot of life.

***

Darcy knocked on a lab door then leaned in. "In two days I'm going to go check on Xander. The neurologist who was working on the vision stuff with him said that they weeded about a quarter of the hellmouth taint out of him and they know where they are if you'd like that information."

"Please," he agreed, not looking over.

"Have you eaten today?"

"I don't need fussed over like Jane does, Darcy. Save it for later kids."

She came in. "First, I'm not trying to. Jane's ordering in a few minutes and we wanted to know if you wanted to add something in." She stared at him when he looked over. "Secondly, if you could take care of yourself you would've showered sometime in the last week and a half since you're greasier than the asshole I dated in high school or Stark after he's sprayed down with oil. Third, don't flatter yourself, Dr. Banner. I only fuss over the ones I'm close with and you don't let anyone that close because of known psychological issues that you seem to share with half the tower." She stared at him.

"You're real brave," he said, taking off his glasses.

She smiled. "Yes, I am. Though that's been in the three different biographies about you." She walked off. "No, Jane, he doesn't want to add to our order."

"That's fine. I know he likes Thai food," Jane said. She looked at Darcy. "He try to nag back?"

"Yup. Thought I should save it for future kids." Jane snorted, shaking her head. "So, Thai?"

"Thai," she agreed, walking out with her.

"Xander apparently found a girlfriend once he got out," she said. "When I got called, they were rescuing him from her and the police were rescuing her from the loud, squealy time sex. His ones on the vacation we were around each other for squealed a lot."

"That's good to know. Why do they squeal?"

She looked at Jane, smirking. "Ask Thor to make you squeal, Jane."

"He has no problem with that but I don't squeal."

"Oh, well, that sucks. Xander said all his was oral sex." They got onto the elevator.

"Really? It's nice but there's better things."

"With the stamina he has?"

"He might wreck a woman for later lovers." They went down to the Thai place in the bottom of the tower. They ran into Pepper.

Darcy smiled at her. "Stark looks like he's lubed up to go up a robot. Banner too. They're both in grumpy moods and I'm not going to play that game with them. I was nice enough to offer to pick them up lunch while we're down here."

"I hate them in this mood," Pepper said. "Thanks for the warning." She smiled. "Have a good lunch, ladies." She got onto the elevator, going up to check on Tony. She stood in the doorway, grimacing. "Tony, you do look like you're about to be inserted into a robot's butt with all the grease on you and you stink. We have a meeting in two hours. Go clean up." She walked off. He groaned but followed orders. He knew to follow orders. She ran into Bruce in the hallway, grimacing. "I see someone else looks like they're about to be inserted into something. You should probably shower as well. There's a government representative that wants to apologize to you. He's been nagging for days to try to get near you. I've held him off but he might show up to get stubborn." She walked off, sneezing delicately. Incense plus unshowered male with sweaty problems? Gross.

Bruce huffed but went to clean up and make himself a sandwich. Tony came in to get his own food. "Did Lewis nag you?"

"No. She asked if I wanted something from their trip to the Thai place and I blew her off."

"I told her to quit trying to fuss over me, to save it for her kids. So she got mean."

"She's snarky. We like her like that."

Clint walked in. "Guys, not even I can get that nasty and stand myself," he said dryly, grabbing some fruit and walking off. "And I've been in swamps for days without showers. You'll never get a girl and keep her with that nastiness."

"I just showered!" Stark complained.

Clint looked at him. "Then you might want to invest in better shampoo and a washing machine. Natasha wouldn't come get her own snack because you both stink. I'm not polite enough to dance around it. You're gross smelling and you both need showers. I've seen less nasty teenage boys." He walked off. "Here, Tasha, apples." He tossed her two.

"Thank you." She bit into one, nodding. "Still good." The two scientists stomped off to shower and put on cleaner clothes. She gagged but kept down the apple. "Oh," she said, getting up to go read outside.

"Yeah," Clint agreed. "I heard Lewis going off on Banner too."

Pepper came off the elevator. "Darcy told me Tony looked like he was greasy enough to be inserted into a robot's butt." They smiled at her. "I agree, they looked like robot suppositories."

"Stark's version of clean clothes smelled like rancid pizza sauce," Clint warned.

She huffed, going to check on Tony. "Were you cursed?" Pepper demanded.

"No!" he shot back. "I'm getting clean!"

"Good!" She stomped off, keeping down the contents of her stomach by sheer stubbornness. "JARVIS, Stark needs someone to clean his apartment and do his laundry. I'm not touching that."

"If you bundle it up, you can drop it at a laundromat," Clint said.

"I'm not touching it," Pepper said. "Not a single greasy, stinky thing."

"I'll send up a robot to pick it up and send it out with the industrial laundry," the AI said. "That way it comes back cleaner. It may take a few times though."

"I don't care *how*," Pepper said. "Just that it gets done. That does not look good on our investors." She walked off shaking her head. "I need to hire him a nanny. Maybe he'll let her put him in diapers and take care of him again so he's better at that stuff," she muttered as she stomped.

Natasha looked at Clint, then shrugged. He shrugged back. "I'm not sure it'd be good. It might not work."

She nodded. "It could help a lot."

Steve came off the elevator and grimaced. "What's that smell?"

"The science bros," Clint said dryly. "Lewis pegged it when she said they looked like robot suppositories. Even Pepper agreed."

Steve nodded, heading outside. He left a door open, making Natasha smile. "It's been three days since they came out of the labs. Maybe he needs someone to take Pepper's old place."

"Maybe," Clint agreed.

Tony and Bruce both walked past. They got around the robots carrying things, Stark huffing. When the robots came back with the trash bags of clothes, the two spysassins ran outside to get away from the stink.

***

Pepper smiled at the laundry service coordinator for the various Stark Industries centers. "Problems?"

"The laundry service people told me to tell you that they do have a dry cleaner attached to them so the sending out of the laundry that clearly got abused in the labs was fine. To please warn them in the future in case anything needs special handling due to chemicals that may be on it, and that they'll have a nice bill ready for you when Mr. Stark picks up this things."

"Some of it was Dr. Banner's."

"His was probably the white bags instead of the black bags. They said they'd keep them separate." She smiled.

"Thank you. Did they give an estimate?"

"Eight-hundred-three plus tax probably."

"I'll make sure he has his card on him. Thank you, Melanie."

"You're welcome." She smiled and left. She ran into Mr. Stark in the hallway, nodding politely. It was clear whatever accident had been really bad if he still smelled that way.

Pepper smiled at him. "Your laundry will be just under nine hundred dollars for yours and Bruce's." She went back to working on the agreement for the meeting. He huffed but lounged in the guest chairs. When their appointment got there, for some reason her air circulation unit was stuck on the 'on' setting. It was a bit loud but she apologized and the man said it happened in larger buildings at times. Just something more for maintenance to give themselves work.

***

Bruce came out that night, staring at the others. "Where's my clothes?"

"The laundry people have them," Jane quipped. "Tony's supposed to go pick them up tomorrow with his. Pepper said so and to remind him in the morning." Stark grunted in displeasure behind his tablet. She smiled at him. "Do you feel better?"

"Not really."

"Well, maybe tomorrow it'll help some." She dug into her dinner of leftovers. Darcy came strolling out in a pretty dress and heels. "Date?" she guessed.

"Yup, I sure do," she quipped with a smile. "Have a good night, Jane. I know Thor's due back tonight."

Stark looked over. "Someone's getting lucky," he said.

She looked back at him. "Stark, unlike your bimbos I'm not easy. I don't have sex on the first date. I haven't done that since I lived in a bar in college. Thankfully, I grew out of that stage before I became a mom." She got onto the elevator and left.

Stark huffed. "Your assistant is mouthy, Jane."

"Yes she is and I appreciate that." She smirked at him. "If Darcy was the slut you just accused her of, I wouldn't want her as my intern." He slumped down but got back to whatever he was reading. She looked at Bruce again. He sighed, walking off.

Stark got up and stomped off. Jane shook her head. He was having a pouty toddler day.

***

Darcy came out of her date of drinks and maybe a movie, missing the movie part because he wanted someone more professional than she was. She slid into her jacket and flagged down a cab, getting into it. "Stark tower."

"Yes, ma'am." He drove off. He tried to avoid the sudden bright light but it wasn't any use.

Darcy woke up with a headache, a sore ankle, and somewhere that was clearly not Manhattan since there was waist high grass. She felt someone touching her arm and looked up. "Xander?"

"A portal threw you here," he said quietly.

She sat up, pushing her hair back. "I was in a cab."

"We've found the cab. The driver managed to dive back through." He helped her up, looking her over. "Wow. You look great for being kidnaped." She swatted him but smiled. "C'mon, there's a few of us here." He walked her that way. "I have to ask, because I've asked the others. Do you have any survival skills?"

"I was a girl scout for a few years but I hated all the camping stuff. I can probably help but I'm not going to be any good at it. I'm used to deserts."

"That's fine," Xander agreed. "Better than two of the slayers with us." She nodded. "No idea what happened."

"Great. Well, Jane will miss me when Thor lets her out of bed." He grinned at her. "I was on a date."

"I was having some self fun since my last ex got arrested." She laughed, swatting him on the arm. "She was." They made it back to the camp. "I found the last one they dropped. This is Darcy. She works for a geek at Stark Industries."

"Hi." She waved with a smile. "I was a girl scout for a few years but I hated camping stuff."

"We can handle that. We're wondering why we got summoned," one of the slayers complained.

Xander shrugged. "There's usually reasons unless it's some sort of convergence."

"We heard about yours," the other slayer said with a glare.

Xander shrugged. "She summoned. It was a desperate situation."

"Whatever," she said dryly. "How do we get home? I have a date tomorrow!"

Darcy looked at her. "Have we discovered if time runs faster or slower than at home?" They stared at her. "Jane thinks it happens."

"You must be the lady that works with Thor's girlfirend," the second slayer said, getting a smile and a nod.

"She's also right," Xander said. "Realms do run on different times."

"Shoot. I really liked this one, Xander."

"He'll understand unless it's been years back there." Her eyes went wide. He shrugged. "I'm guessing it could happen."

"I hope not!"

"Us too," Darcy agreed. "Jane would starve to death." She sat on a stone and looked at their small camp. "Xander, has anything shown up?"

"Just the one wind demon that wondered why we were here," the second slayer said, sitting down with a huff of air. "Can't you fix it by calling a poker debt or something, Xander?"

"Do I look like Rosenburg?" he asked. "I'm good but not mystical. I've blown most of my poker contacts to get us all weapons that we've all used for the last year."

The first slayer looked at him. "Are you all right?"

"Bit sore and tired. I'll be fine." They nodded. "I've had a lot worse and had to do worse than camp." He settled in to teach the slayers some practical life skills. They might need them some day.

***

Back on earth, JARVIS was clearing his throat. "Um, Captain?" he asked.

Steve looked up from drawing. "JARVIS, I said you could use my name," he said with a smile.

"That's not a concern at the moment. There was apparently some sort of portal that snapped on the cab that Miss Lewis was in. The driver has reappeared but not the cab or her."

"Is it still open?"

"I cannot tell."

"Get Jane up. I'll go put on clothes."

"I'm attempting to."

"I'll do it." He went to grab his jacket and shoes, putting them on as he trudged to Thor's suite. Thor was going to be mad about Darcy disappearing. He knocked until Thor glared at him. "Darcy's cab got swallowed by some sort of portal," he said quietly. "The driver made it back but not her yet."

"Where?"

"Here in town according to JARVIS."

"I'll get Jane up. We'll meet downstairs?"

"Yup. I'll get a car." He headed down to do that and pull around. Jane came rushing out pulling on a t-shirt over her sports bra. She put her boots on in the car. Thor climbed in and they drove off. Police had blocked off the area.

Jane pushed through them. "I'm Dr. Jane Foster. I study portals." Thor followed her, his clothes changing to his battle armor and cape. She looked. "Where was it?" An officer pointed so she pulled out a new piece of equipment. "It's ugly but it works well," she said at the odd looks she got. "It's a realm one. Like a hellmouth style portal only goes to one area." She let Thor see it. "Do you recognize it?"

"No. It's not a realm that's associated with Asgard."

"Okay," Jane said. She moved. "It's definitely to a single realm." Stark's car sped up and spun into parking, him getting out and hurrying over. "We have a partially closed portal, Stark." She glanced at him then looked. "Did anyone else get taken?"

"Reports from New Jersey say there was one of them there," an officer reported. "And this one sucked up two young women." Jane stared at him. "Not identified yet."

"Slayers?" she asked.

"Could be. About the right age."

"Someone call Gloria to see if they're hers," she called.

Stark called. "Slayer Gloria, Tony Stark. We have a portal that stole people uptown. Are any of yours missing?" He listened. "Both were, Jane. They were on patrol then on their way to club hunt." He listened. "Thank you, Slayer Gloria. Do we know anyone who can help? No, I'm not sure if we can get Rosenburg. Why?" He grimaced. "Noted. Thank you." He hung up. "It took Lewis, Harris, and two slayers."

Jane grimaced. "Why?"

"Darcy said someone talked to her about some magic back in her bloodline," Stark said. "Harris has that taint and hellmouth energy taint. The slayers are technically fully changed by the slayer spirit."

"So you think that let them go over?" Jane asked. "Reasonable assumption based on those narrow facts." She moved to take another reading. "It's lessening."

An agent showed up holding the handcuffs Willow was wearing. She got out of them and walked over, laying a hand on the portal. "Let me, Dr. Foster," she said quietly. "I can always find Xander or a slayer." Jane got out of the way but kept taking readings. "There they are. It's been a while. Darcy's wearing furs." She blew the portal open and stepped into the opening. "Guys, let's go."

Xander looked at her. "Who opened it?"

"No clue," she admitted.

"What day is it?" Darcy asked. "One of the slayers has a date the night after we got taken."

"Same night," Willow said, smiling at them. "C'mon. Let's go." They came out of the portal together, Xander last in case he screwed up the magic. Willow looked Darcy's outfit over. "That's cute."

"Thank you."

"How long were you over there?" Jane asked, pulling Darcy closer.

"Let's move this away from the portal," Willow said. "Before it sucks back over." They moved and it shut. Willow made sure it fully closed.

"Any idea who?" Darcy asked. "It's odd timing."

"Something higher but benign," Willow said with a shrug. "It felt like it wanted amusement." One of the slayers hit Xander on the arm, getting slapped on the back of the head for it. "Xander!"

"I don't take being hit," he reminded her. "Even from slayers."

"Fine. Cranky." She looked at Willow. "No idea why us?"

"You were closer," Willow said. "Sorry."

"No, it happens," she sighed. "Then how did it get Xander?"

"Separate portal," Stark said, looking at them.

Xander shook his head, looking up. "Damn." The portal behind them melted. "Thanks." He waved with a grin. Then he looked at the girls. "Willow, the PTB?"

"No. Benign. Harmless."

"I know what that word means," he said quietly. She huffed. He looked at the portal then at Darcy. "I think they were holding us in there until we could be of later use."

"Sounds like it," she agreed. "Though I wouldn't be breeding the later generations of warriors."

He grinned. "Especially not with me since I'm infertile."

She swatted him with a grin. "There's ways around that but I can't do it."

"Me either." He looked at the slayers.

"Why can she swat you and we can't?" that one pouted.

"You hit, she playfully swatted."

"Oh. Sorry. Don't know my own strength sometimes." She walked off. Gloria was walking over. "They wanted to keep us together so there were later warriors when all of the rest of us died."

Gloria looked at the puddle of portal then at Willow. Who shrugged. "It's probable. It's as good as any reason I can come up with."

"Sure," she agreed. "Why you two? Xander would put you out of his misery after a few days of being bouncy." Xander grinned.

One of the slayers huffed. "He's just as bouncy."

"His leads to stamina," Gloria said dryly. "You two are still growing into that." She looked at the officers. "They good?"

"We should put them in for medical checks," the officer on site said.

"We're fine. We didn't run into any other species, nothing with spores," Xander said.

"That's good but the air there could've been very different."

"We can do that at the tower," Stark said. He looked at Lewis then at Xander. "Her pretty dress for her earlier date?"

"In my pack," one of the girls quipped. "She fell in a river and had to change. I had the fuzzy blanket for her to put on."

"That's great," Stark agreed. "Let's do a fast checkup at the tower. Okay?" They all nodded, Gloria coming with them.

Steve looked at Xander. "You good?" he asked quietly.

"I really want a hamburger. All we had were veggies and I hate veggies." Steve smiled but clapped him on the back. "I couldn't catch anything meat wise outside of grub worms and the girls all demanded to put them back."

"Worms are not food, even for those weird sort that put them into suckers," one of the slayers complained.

"A fifth of the world's people eat some sort of insect daily because it's an easy source of needed protein," Xander quipped back with a grin. "If you're hungry, you eat anything."

"I'm hoping I never get that hungry. Okay?" He nodded with a grin. "Does that mean you won't send me to help on your route in Africa?"

"No, I won't. I might send you to talk to Yihana's watcher to straighten him out. A few of my minis have said some weird things about him."

The three slayers smiled at him. "Happily, Xander," Gloria said.

He hugged her. "I love your dirty mind." He kissed her on the forehead. "You're one of my favorite slayers, beyond Gweliza and her pack of evil and Amira."

"Amira is adorable. I think she's everything's favorite." She smiled at Darcy, getting a grin back. "Amira's six and a half. She's sweet, kind, likes Disney movies, wants to live up to how a princess should live. Then she'll stab you in a heartbeat if you upset her injured animals she's helping." Darcy smiled, laughing some.

"She liberated a vet's office to help the poor animals herself," Xander said. "She's got a sister who has a healing gift for animals. A local demon came to eat an injured bunny rabbit, and she stabbed it so fast it was still thinking it was alive." Darcy burst out laughing, patting him on the arm. "Seriously. Amira's a great little kid. If I ever have little kids I'd want her to be mine. Her or Mia. She's sweetly cute and sucks up any knowledge."

Gloria smiled. "I called her recently. She's gotten mouthy. She yelled at me for not being back there to help her."

"She needed it?" he demanded.

"Yihana's watcher."

"Uh-huh."

"She talked something into running him over with a tractor," Gloria said with a smile. "Yihana screamed at her but Mia just told her he was an asshat, quoting you when her mother complained, and that he wasn't a *good* watcher. They didn't need more bad ones like the ones who used to steal the girls."

"I agree. And I'll be talking with him when I get back there," Xander assured her. "I've already had one about his drinking problems."

"Damn," Darcy said.

Xander smiled. "Yup. I was escaping the nagging slayers and landed there. We had a long talk."

The three slayers hugged him. "You play big brother very well," Gloria told him. He grinned. "Let's do this scanning thingy then we can go club hunting, ladies." They nodded, chatting about clothes on the way.

"I don't think I was ever that young and carefree," Jane said quietly, smiling at Darcy.

"You were a teenager once, Jane."

"I had science even then."

Darcy shoulder nudged her. "We can go on a road trip if you want. Let you remember the wild youth you missed."

Jane grinned. "Maybe this summer. It's more fun in the summer." They got back to the tower and Stark took them up to the infirmary to have them scanned for strange germs, energy, or anything else odd.

Stark walked into the room Xander and Darcy were in. "There's some extra energy around you two."

"Yeah, there was a dream thingy and it asked us if we wanted to be even more helpful and protective. Darcy and I compared the next morning," Xander told him. "We figured it was something with the bloodline stuff." Darcy nodded.

"Maybe." He looked at them. "Magic?"

"In me? No. Hellmouth taint. Magic goes screwy around me."

Darcy shrugged. "I haven't tried to use it." She looked at Xander. "You had that dream about you walking through a war zone playing a small harp too."

"I did, yeah." He frowned. "That was really weird too. I turned down the chance to be that avatar."

Stark shook his head. "Huh?"

"Temple to a certain goddess, Stark. A few offered me avatar positions." He shifted on the bed. "I turned them down. It might've made things easier but then I would've been the enemy."

Stark nodded. "Do others get into what you do?"

"Not really." Darcy shook her head. "Even when we both walked over the same spot, I'm the one that fell into that cursed buried treasure." He grinned.

"I heard." Stark looked the readings over. "Is it possible it made you one against your will?"

"If the musical one did, they're going to be really disappointed since I'm not musical at all. Or rhythmic. I got told white man shouldn't try to dance a few times around fires."

"Why is it that Bruce went some of the same places and didn't have that sort of story?"

"Because he doesn't let people get too close to him," Xander said bluntly. "I need to be closer to my mini's families to help protect them while I train them." He shifted again, pulling his legs up to lean on. "I've seen him at a native clinic. He was real formal with everyone. My minis know my name, my phone number, can identify me across a crowded marketplace, they asked when my birthday was. One asked me what my stuffed animal used to be."

"I get that," Stark agreed. "It's safer."

"Sometimes you gotta let people in. It's safer if you let the right ones in because they help you guard yourself. It took a long time for me to learn that lesson once I lost it the first time."

Darcy rubbed his arm. "At least it can be relearned." He grinned at her and nodded.

"Why don't you two date?" Stark sighed.

"Because only dangerous ones like him and I'm dangerous but not that deadly," Darcy quipped. "Natasha could be."

"Too serious," Xander said. "Barton's supposed to be real nice. He's the sort of fun loving that I'd like."

She looked at him. "You're bi?" He nodded. "That's cool." Xander grinned.

"More options," Stark agreed.

"I go on personality, not how they have sex," Xander said. "I can always find something fun if I want to." He smiled. "I'm creative that way."

"And you make them get really loud," Darcy said.

"Yeah, oral sex is fun that way."

Stark walked off shaking his head. Darcy and Xander shared a smirk then left. "Escort me home so I can give her the blanket back?"

"Yeah, I can do that." He walked her to her apartment then disappeared before the slayers could pounce. He had bad girls he hadn't met yet. New York was a prime city for them to be in.

Darcy walked the blanket down there. "I can wash it if you want me to."

"Nah. I'm not going to have sex tonight. That's the only reason I brought it. Alleys are nasty," she said, tucking it into her pack. "Thanks for the advice, Darcy."

"Not a problem. You call if you want more. I could use a sister or six." The girls hugged her and left with Gloria herding them. Darcy went to check on Jane, who pulled her closer to look her over. "I'm okay."

"Stark said you had extra energy."

"Someone tried to make me magical."

"Oh. Okay." She hugged her. "Go eat."

"I'm okay."

"Still, go eat."

"I'm fine, Jane. Really." She got walked upstairs. They made dinner for each other and settled in to watch some tv.

***

Xander looked up from his contemplating his feet in the park in New Jersey. Tommy stared at him. "That's why I asked to see you. What did they wake up?"

"I can't tell without a few things." He moved closer. "I can sense something."

"If it's musical stuff, I'm horrible at it all. I'm not even rhythmic. Then I had the dream about playing the harp looking thing as I walked through the battlefield. That was after the dream Darcy and I had about doing spells and stuff."

Tommy grimaced. "We can search for it. Do you think it woke something up?"

"I'm not sure I didn't get volunteered to become an avatar."

"We can look. C'mon." Xander got up and went with him. "You could've come over."

"Dude, I barely know you. I'm not going to invade your house."

"Fine." He drove Xander back to the compound, leading him into the practice space and through. Buckaroo stared at them, following without taking off his guitar. Tommy grinned. "Whoever took them woke up something or volunteered him and Darcy for something."

"We can look." He went to put up his guitar and came back to do the power searching. Yup, definitely there. "Wrong power, but nice enough."

Xander looked at one then at him. "I'm not musical."

"You can learn."

"I have no rhythm, I'm tone deaf, and even the guys dancing around the fires told me to quit embarrassing all white guys. I told her that."

"She decided she liked you anyway." Xander grimaced. "Let's look at a few others." He did the searching a different way, finding older ones. "Found the chaos god taint."

"Is it from Janus? One of his high priests worked around me in high school and I'm the only one that kept memories from that Halloween spell."

Tommy looked at him. "What spell?"

"We turned into our costumes. My group got forced to go with the kiddies in costume."

"Not exactly that but older than that. Are they fighting over you?"

"Would that explain the whole falling into cursed treasure thing?" Xander asked.

"Yeah," Tommy agreed. "The boss does it too." Xander nodded, sitting down to stare at them. "Well, it means we don't have as much work?"

"We can still wake up ours. It might make the slayers nervous."

"I figure it will." He shrugged. "It didn't with the ones with us when we got sucked into that portal."

"Figures," he said. "It might've desensitized the slayer spirit to all this." He tested again. "Interesting."

Xander looked up then at him. "How interesting?"

"They're playing 'he's mine' with you."

"I require nice dating before I give out," Xander said dryly. "Anyone playing that with me had better be cuddly at the very least." Tommy walked off laughing. "They should be."

"It might be good for you." Buckaroo shook his head. "Go rest out back. We need to finish practice and then we'll figure out how to do things."

"I can hike back to the motel. It's only two blocks."

"With your luck, you'd be taken by aliens on the way."

"No, they're after Dawn. I really have to stop that." He stood up, walking off with a sigh. "Let me go back to the motel and call Dawn to talk to her about that blue guy who keeps trying to talk her into going with him." He got knocked out and came to out back. "Okay, or not," he decided. He sat up, looking around. There was Dawn. There was Darcy. They were talking about men. He sighed, looking at Dawn. "How can I help send off the blue guy?"

"He might not ever go."

"How did he figure it out?"

"Scanned he said."

"Great."

"I'm going to ask Warrior Lord Kreth to help me with him. They'll listen to an Asgardian where they won't listen to me or you."

"I can shoot him."

"I have shot him. He laughed," Dawn said. "Called me spunky."

"I can fire something bigger," Xander offered.

Darcy giggled. "You're so overprotective, Xander."

"Yes I am." He moved closer to them. "So now what?"

"We're waiting," Dawn said. She grinned. "We have a problem," she said quietly. "One of them is back here."

He winced. "Which?"

"Staff and cube both."

Xander nodded. "Have we told anyone?"

"How do I explain that without outing myself?"

"You say that your artifact tainting will explode if it comes near you. And by near you mean on the same continent."

"I guess."

"I'll ask Thor," Darcy assured them. "I don't know why."

Dawn winced, glancing at Xander. Who shrugged. She looked at her. "At one point in time I was in contact with an artifact of really high power. One that makes the cosmic cube look like its baby." Darcy shuddered. "It changed me and gave me the magic I'll never be able to use. It basically remade my body with magic."

"So that one comes near her and it'll think you're the mommy," Darcy said. Dawn nodded quickly. "I can call Thor. If I had my phone."

One of the guards leaned out of the house. "Give it an hour, guys." He closed the door to give them privacy again.

The trio shrugged at each other and settled in to catch up and chat. It was a pretty afternoon, even for November. It was great until Dawn seemed to fade out. She looked like she was fighting it but it wasn't going to work. She huffed as she appeared in the room with the cube. "Not cute," she told it. "Quit doing that. You're putting us both in danger." The vault door opened. "Sorry, it pulled me here because I've got extra special magic." The guard pointed a gun at her. "Try it, dude, and watch the world go to hell when I sneeze."

"You're not Rosenburg," he sneered. "C'mon. Don't even think about touching it."

"If I touch it, this whole area will be a crater." She felt the other one floating closer, looking at it before getting out of the way. "Babies," she sighed, petting them both. The guy with the gun screamed as he atomized. So did the buildings around them. "Hmm." She looked at them. "We need you two somewhere safer, babies. Let's go talk to someone." She took them with her, landing in a semi-familiar house in upper England. "Is Warrior Lord Kreth here?" she asked the child. "Please?"

"Sure, Dawn." She ran off. "Granddad! Dawn's here and she's got glowy things!"

He came out, staring at her, knife in one hand. "Dawn."

"Lord Warrior Kreth," she said in all speak, nodding back. "They summoned me to help them get free. They need to be far, *far* away from me," she said quietly. "Them plus me equals explosion. We don't want that as long as the guys I just blew up are gone." She stepped away from them. The staff tried to follow. She petted it with a finger. "You need to be protected, baby. Not with me. It's dangerous to be with me. We'll make more bad guys go boom and then Xander won't ever be able to date." The staff huffed and floated closer. She petted it, earning a hum of pleasure. She looked at Kreth, who was staring. "It's a bad thing," she said quietly. "Please?"

"I can call Lord Thor," he said. Thor appeared, blinking hard. Handy how sentient the cube was around Dawn. "Lord Thor, she came to me to get these two artifacts to safety."

"As in safely away from me, Thor. It'll cause a lot of problems. The least of which is outing me." She looked at him. "Whoever had them in a vault probably isn't liking the hole they became because they pointed a gun at me and I had to leave with the babies."

Thor cleared his throat. "I thought the cube on Asgard and the staff locked within SHIELD."

"Apparently not and probably with HYDRA," Dawn quipped.

Thor nodded. "That could be a problem."

"They need to belong. They're lonely, Thor."

"I can ask my mother," he offered. She smiled and nodded. "Let me call." He walked outside to call on Heimdall. He showed up after a minute of yelling for him. He told him why and his mother came to meet the young woman. "Mother, may I present Dawn Summers. You've only causally met before."

Dawn smiled at her and waved. "Hi. They were in a vault and summoned me. They're lonely. My babies are very lonely."

"I can safely have them taken, Dawn." She moved closer. "My son's staff can be adopted by someone so it is not lonely and the cube can have a chosen guardian who will talk to it and take care of it." Dawn smiled, relaxing. "May I?"

"Please. I know it's dangerous. If only because it'll out who I am."

She nodded, smiling. "That could be bad, yes." She took the staff first, wincing at it. "He was full of rage when he made this."

"Thanos put that together," Dawn said. "He's always angry."

"True." She petted it as Dawn did and it accepted her. The cube was tougher but a warrior that was training with Kreth showed up to ask for the duty. She accepted. He took the cube from Dawn, petting and cooing at it like it was a pretty blue puppy. Dawn relaxed, nearly going limp. "We will protect these two important children, Dawn," Freya assured her.

"It's bad enough a Kree found me," Dawn said quietly.

"Yes, it is. You can't tell them no?"

"I can't get them to accept the no. I've even shot him."

Lady Freya nodded. "Perhaps one should help you."

"I was going to ask Warrior Lord Kreth if I could borrow him to act like a mad brother."

Kreth smiled at her. "That may not even work with how stubborn they are."

"I can talk to them," Thor promised. "Where were you when they brought you to save them, Dawn?"

"With Darcy and Xander in New Jersey."

"Ah that." She nodded. "Why you?"

"Because I'm like Xander's sister. Not always in the best way however."

"Sometimes your family saves your sanity and sometimes they're the reason you lose it," Kreth said. "My Lady Freya, I would happily help as it would help my grandchildren, one of which is a slayer."

"She's so adorable. She was on the bulletin board the other day begging Andrew to teach her how to make proper cookies," Dawn said with a smile for him.

"She is that, yes. Also hyper and fussy."

"Fussy is a great thing. I'm fussy. I'm the only one allowed to fuss over Xander." Freya smiled. "Please find my other babies?"

"Gladly, Dawn. Be safe, child. Thor, I'll take them and the warrior with us." He nodded, escorting them back out there. She looked him over. "Those look nice on you, son. Very cute. Jane must appreciate those pants on you." She kissed him on the cheek and they disappeared back to Asgard.

Dawn thanked the senior warrior and came out. "I've got a lot of excess energy, Thor. Let's get you back home." They blinked and were there. She smiled. "Thank thee."

"You're welcome, Dawn. Go rest and be well."

"Why is she here?" Stark called from his seat.

"Some dorks in armor had mystical artifacts that were really powerful so they summoned me to help them get free. We sent them with Lady Freya." She disappeared again.

"She was tainted and remade by an artifact," Thor said. He knew that was Dawn's cover story. "Her presence let the artifacts channel energy so that the vault they were held in was destroyed."

Stark turned to look at him better. "What dorks in armor?"

"She did not show me a picture, Man of Iron." He gave him a look. "But one was my brother's scepter." He sat down again.

"So HYDRA?"

"Perhaps. I know she said it was a steaming wreck." He smiled. "My mother has safely taken the scepter back to Asgard. It will have a guardian who likes to talk to it."

"Uh-huh," Stark said. "So which artifact got her?"

"I know not. She did not share that with me and they will not tell anyone. That is one thing the slayer Kennedy got in trouble for."

"Okay then. I hate secrets."

"Except your own?" Thor asked.

"Yep." He stood up, looking at him. "Anything else we should know?"

"The alien that landed during that battle is known as a Kree. They're quite stubborn and trying to get Dawn to go with him due to that artifact's taint."

Tony Stark walked off rubbing his head. He hated mystical things. It always screwed with his science.

***

Dawn reappeared, shaking her head at Xander's worried look. "They were in a vault and lonely. Lady Freya has them."

"Good," Xander agreed.

"She'll find the others that might want to adopt me." She settled on the ground with them again. "I have no idea, Xander. You know that."

"I do." He patted her on the arm. "It'll be okay."

"Good."

"We need to give Andrew ideas."

"I found two books on being an evil genius," she said with a smile. "Both comedies but I also found the 'government's guide to being a superhero' and another like it. We can give them to him for his birthday, pointing out he needs to know the other side to teach the slayers plus to counter the rest of them."

Xander smiled. "I like that. I'm having an armor cuff made for him."

"Awww." They shared a smirk and included Darcy again. She'd probably like Andrew when they met.

***

Stark stomped out that night, staring at Thor. "Somehow the cube destroyed a good county's worth of space and only took out HYDRA agents since no one else is reported missing. Even the cows in one farm are all okay."

"It's nice of the cube to take that worry from Dawn's mind," Thor said. "Since it channeled through Dawn it's good she was concerned about such things."

"There's no way that cube, that very powerful cube, channeled through a young woman. Even one with magic from another artifact."

Thor looked up at him. "I will allow this one query of me, Stark, but I will tell you that if you find what you want to know, your life will automatically be in much more danger and so will hers." Stark's eyes went wide. Thor stared back. "Any who know will be hunted to find out certain things. Are you prepared to be her knight in shining armor?"

"Is that why they come for Harris?"

"No. He made himself a warrior and they come for him for what he's done. The same as they come for you for that. Or Steve."

"Oh." He grimaced. "What sort of artifact could channel the cube?"

"Not all artifacts are powerful. Sometimes it's their uses that gets them that sort of helpful reputation."

"So it could merge with it?" Thor nodded. "How does that work?"

"It's like meeting someone that could be a cousin and being of the same blood type."

"Oh." He walked off shaking his head. "Then I don't need to know." Sometimes wondering was the wrong thing to do apparently. He didn't want to end up guarding the young, mouthy one like Loki had. Though it brought up bad thoughts about the 'magic' in Darcy's bloodline that they wanted to activate. Could Darcy summon that cube if she got magic?

***

The trio finished the seeing spell on Darcy and Xander. "It was already active," Buckaroo told them.

"The dream in that small realm?" she asked.

"It is that recent," Tommy agreed, looking at Xander. "Now what?"

"Now I go back to training the minis after I finish healing. I train a few new ones to take over for me. I figure out where I want to set up to train if I make it that long."

"That makes sense. Somehow the prohibition from hunting isn't working on you," Buckaroo said.

Xander shrugged. "Okay. That's probably a good thing in case I get attacked again."

"You should hope not," Tommy said.

"I always hope so but you know how that goes." They all nodded, two of them scowling at Buckaroo. Darcy was giggling. "He gets into the same sort of trouble I used to."

"Used to?" Tommy snorted. "Really?" Buckaroo rolled his eyes as he walked off. He grinned at the kids. "It'll be okay. Just let it all come as it does. Don't try to force things unless you're having an emergency," he told Xander. Who nodded. "We can go over the usual exercises to help you focus." Darcy lit up her hand with a light. Xander handed her a made candy lump. "You shouldn't be able to do that yet."

"Then again, I've watched a witch training and screwing up," Xander said.

"I've heard people using her name as a epitaph," Darcy said quietly.

"So have I. Including warning some of them not to turn into her or do something like she would. I heard a news person used it against a young witch who protected herself and her family from some bigotted asses too and made nasty comments back."

She patted him on the arm. "People like that will eventually learn."

"We hope. Or die off." She nodded. "Hopefully without breeding."

"How's Dawn doing with the healer stuff?" Buckaroo asked.

"She got sneered at by two of the healers at one of the demon clinics but another one grabbed her hand and pulled her to help her. So she's working with her and still learning potions. The local demons are confused by her doing that but they said it's very nice of her."

"It is," New Jersey agreed. "I'd do that if I could."

Xander grinned. "My gifts don't lend toward healing."

"Do mine?" Darcy asked. They shook their heads. "That might suck with what goes on around the tower."

"You can possibly learn but it might not be very strong," New Jersey said.

"Okay. I'll look at that stuff."

"I can suggest books," Xander told her, getting another pat. "Now what and is there any sort of obligation?"

"No," Buckaroo said, smiling at him. "Just be yourself and try to stay out of trouble. Don't use it on others if you can help it so you don't draw attention to yourself." They both nodded. "You two go have fun." They got up and went to dinner. Darcy had been hungry and there were plenty of diversions around these days. He looked at his cohorts, who shrugged. "They'll handle it."

"Of course they will. They'll stubborn it into submission," Tommy said. "The same as we did." They went inside to eat and plot out the next tour. If the duo and Dawn got into problems, they'd help them handle it. Though, Xander really needed to retire sooner before his brain was permanently damaged.

Now all they had to do was wake up the Powers That Were so they could take back over. Even Xander would appreciate that idea with how bad the Powers That Be are.

The End.
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