"You weave?" Natasha asked them on Monday.
"I do," she agreed, turning to look at her. "I can do a few homey craft type things. Why?"
"How did you even learn?"
"A town auntie, Romanoff. She taught a lot of the girls in town how to weave, spin, embroider, crochet, and knit. I suck at embroidery though."
"That's interesting. I didn't think anyone did those things."
"There's a great big resurgence of former home craft skills. Just like cooking at home is coming back into style."
"Can you actually spin?"
"Yeah. I'm not *great* at it and I'm out of practice but yeah, I can. I just need raw wool. I can take it after it's removed from the goat, sheep, or rabbit and turn it into full blown fabric."
"Do you sell your scarfs?"
"I have in the past. Right now I'm weaving for stress relief." She shrugged a bit. "It'll be weeks before I get one finished long enough."
"Interesting. Do you not wear them? I noticed you wear mostly knit ones."
"Mostly crocheted but sometimes." She touched her current one. "Those are thinner fabrics, I can't use them for warmth and some are downright thin enough to almost see through so I can't use them really for keeping the sun off my breasts and to keep men out of them."
"Is that why you cover up so much?"
"Yeah. Men think I'm stupid because I have breasts and I don't use my body that way. Not since I was an undergrad waaaayyyyy back when." She smiled slightly. "It's just easier and then I can shock the ones I want to see them easier."
"I had not thought on that facet of it. Huh. A few people wondered if you were body hating or something."
"I'm slightly self conscious about how often I trip but otherwise, not really." She glanced at Jane then looked at the agent again. "I had to slap a few too many men who were all 'but they're pretty and standing up' about my body over the years."
"I can understand that. I do enjoy ruining that sort myself. If you do make one to sell, keep me in mind?"
"I can try."
Natasha smiled. "Thank you, Darcy." She left, going to add that to the personality profile she was creating.
Darcy looked at Jane, spinning her chair almost all the way around then back. "There's days I miss the courtly stuff because it kept men from being idiots."
Jane hummed. "Did it actually work for everyone?"
"Yeah. Victorian courtesy stuff was clearly for everyone or they were cads, Jane. You were polite and not touching in public, and didn't stare at the tits either, then were wild at home."
"I didn't even think about that. Usually I just think about all the repression."
"Oh, no. Victorians were hella into piercing things and a lot of people complained about nipple piercings being bad for new mothers." Jane stared at her oddly. "Seriously! They're the ones that gave the world the PA piercing because your pants were supposed to not show that you had anything down there. So you pierced it and then hitched it to a garter on your thigh. That's why which side it hangs on is called dressing, that piercing was called a dressing ring."
Jane shuddered. "Wow."
"Yeah. Victorians were only repressed with their spouses and in public. They made nude trading cards and all that too."
"I...had no idea."
She nodded. "With all the pre-Victorian sex clubs in England? Yeah, a lot."
"Wow." She got back to work with a head shake. "Can you wear a corset?"
"Jane, I'm *fantastic* in a corset, dear." She snapped her fingers with a grin. "I always have been." She got back to her own work.
"I need to dress up for something for Thor," Jane admitted. "I have no idea how."
"Find out the dress code, find a dress, go to a spa to get yourself pampered, massaged, buffed, waxed, nails and hair done, then put on the dress and shoes to go with him."
"I know that!"
Darcy grinned at her. "I'm horrible with picking things. If he tells you what you need to wear we can go looking." Jane wouldn't make the same mistake she had, nearly wearing red to a funeral she didn't know she was to attend.
"Thanks, Darcy." She got back to her work, making herself a note so she could remember to ask Thor about that. "I wonder if there's jewelry allowed."
"Probably. Formal means jewelry."
Jane got up to go talk to her boyfriend. She found him kicked back talking to Clint. "Hey, Thor, I got a letter from your mother's head maid telling me I had to prepare myself for a formal ball coming up?"
He looked confused. "Why would you, Jane?" She handed the letter over. He shook his head. "I'm not sure if I'm going or not, much less taking someone. That would open them up to gossip and talking by the court." He handed it back. "I would not worry about it, Jane."
"Okay. I wanted to make sure since that would mean buying an expensive dress and all that."
Thor shook his head. "Nay, it is not important to you."
"Then I'll just worry about a gown for formal awards." She went back to the lab to tell that to Darcy.
Clint looked at him. "Aren't you two dating?" Thor nodded, looking confused. "Yeah, that's when you take the girlfriend to things, Thor. To us, girlfriends are like pre-wives and you'd take a wife to that thing, right?" Thor nodded again slowly. "Then why not Jane?"
"They will hound her for being a Midgardian."
Clint nodded. "If you two end up marrying, will that get any better at that time if they don't get used to her?"
"I have no idea," he admitted. "But I am loathe to go to such events. They are dreadfully boring."
"Got your back on that point. All the ones I've been to were too. Don't princes have to show up at things?"
"Sometimes. My father has not demanded. If so, I may take Jane with me."
"Thor, planning for those things takes months. To find a good dress, get it altered, arrange for hair and nail appointments, all that stuff," Natasha said. "So if you need her to go with you to something like that you have to give her good warning time to find things that she'll need."
Thor grinned. "It's easy enough to whip up a dress, Natasha."
"It takes days to sew one," she corrected. "If you have the pattern and don't have to make one. Which can take another few days to a week extra. Plus fittings, finding all the fabrics. Here we can buy one but it'll never fit her right so she'll have to have it altered and they usually ask for a month's time to do that work." Thor's mouth fell open. She nodded. "Plus getting a decent hair appointment can take that same month. Plus the accessories like shoes and jewelry."
"Wedding dresses are the most common formal dress women will ever wear and it can take them months to find one. They say to start looking a year before your wedding," Clint agreed. "That way you have time to find it, have it made and shipped to you, then altered. I've seen brides who went to nine different shops before they found something they think they could stand but never found one that spoke to them."
Natasha nodded. "Grishma in Weapons searched for three years for her perfect dress, as soon as she knew she was staying with that boyfriend. Then it took a year to make because of the embroidery and beading. Plus a few weeks for fittings." Thor grimaced again. "You can't make a fancy dress in a day, Thor. Even with magical sewing machines and we don't have those down here." She looked at Clint. "I've found out Lewis weaves."
"Really? That's an old timey craft." He nodded a bit. "That's cool though. Think she could help you fix that one gown you ripped?"
"I don't know. I didn't ask. Would weaving lead to sewing?" She called her lab. "Lewis, a question," she said putting it on speaker. "I have a gown that I do adore but it has a rip. Is that something you could help me fix?"
"Probably not unless it was on a seam. Then you'd have to deconstruct that panel, reweave the edge, then resew it. Unless it's somewhere you can hide by putting lace over."
"Not really. It's near the middle of the skirt."
"If it's a silk or a satin sort of material probably not then. A few others, they can repair with chemicals because it's partially plasticizer but I'd have to say probably not. They could replace that whole panel with a new one though. If you could find matching fabric, any good tailor could do that."
"That's a thought I didn't have. How do you make lace?"
"The traditional way? A very tiny thread and some tiny crochet hooks. Modern lace is machine made."
"Thor thinks you can whip up a fancy ballgown in a day or so," Clint said, leaning closer.
Darcy snorted. "Weaving three yards of fabric can take two days for a really skilled weaver in top form as long as it's single color and no patterns. With patterns it can take as much as a day to make three feet depending on how complex so that's three times as long for three yards and a lot of formal gowns take more than that length. Sewing a formal level dress, which is usually multiple layers and special, bitchy fabrics can take a week to sew if you work on it constantly but that's if you already have the pattern and it fits nearly correctly.
"Add another week to make a full new pattern if you know what you're doing or a few days to mix and match if you have other patterns that would work and only need a tweak. Then an extra day to sew on anything like lace borders and buttons. Though, that would take a specialty machine. A home one would do but you need a surger to do it properly and the seams to hold for a good while.
"Then comes at least three fitting appointments to get everything right. If you have to have a matching hat it can take another two weeks so have someone do that at the same time. Plus finding the damn shoes, or shoes for feet that you'll damn later if they're heels. And finding or borrowing jewelry.
"Getting the good hair appointments should be scheduled the day you find the dress so it'll be the right time and place. I know the one Pepper suggested she go to for a trim has a two month waiting list. He may be thinking about men's clothes, which are easier and have simpler seams. They don't have fitting seams or pleats or anything."
"How would you know?" Thor demanded.
"Because I've worked with some tailors who did Victorian clothes, Thor. They had to hand sew most things so it took at least three times longer. I can't sew very well but I did have to help them fit a few times. Mostly for remaking things into different, more fashionable styles."
"Interesting," Natasha said. "Thank you, Darcy."
"Welcome." She hung up.
Natasha looked at Thor, who looked pissed. "Those are specialty jobs so you pay for that expertise. You can pay fifty dollars just to have a shirt fit these days."
"Getting my one suit tailored cost me about a hundred," Clint agreed with a grin for her. "Women have fancier duds."
Thor shook his head. "I have never seen it take my mother that long."
"Your mother was a queen, she had a staff on hand who already knew her measurements, had the patterns already, and were probably sewing at least a month in advance," Natasha told him. "Like the one in England who has her personal dresser doing all hers." Thor slumped down, nearly pouting.
"Think about how long it takes to make a sword," Clint told him. "It's the same level of skill only in fabric instead of metal, and it takes roughly the same amount of time to do all the small details." He looked at Natasha. "Weren't there women blacksmiths?"
"Yes, I believe so. From what I've read they were wives who took over after their husbands died."
"So maybe Lewis will learn a new craft from Stark."
"Perhaps. I know she said she's barely gotten her smaller loom set up. Her full size one is too big for her apartment."
"Yeah, New York City apartments are notoriously tiny everywhere but in this tower."
"Stark did spoil us." She looked at Thor. "So if there is one that you need Jane to attend with you, do give her warning to get things accomplished."
Thor scowled at her. "They would not accept her, Natasha."
"Then why date her just to dump her when you find someone better?" she asked back. He glared. She stared at him. "It seems it. You're not truly seeing her if you can't or won't introduce her to your friends and family, Thor. You're just fucking her."
He slumped again. "I have no idea of such things."
"Well, some kings had mistresses I suppose," she said dryly. He glared again, getting up to go talk to Jane about that. Of course, they heard the medical announcement that Thor needed to go to the infirmary thanks to walking past a lab that had exploded. Natasha shook her head. "That's bad."
"I wonder if Lewis rigged that," he muttered.
She smiled. "I don't think she's capable of that."
"Maybe. I'm starting to wonder if she's some sort of Asgardian."
"I had that same thought." They shared a look. "Her background is clean. Very clean."
"Huh." He nodded. "I know that one agent is still hiding like hell from her calling his mom."
"Sometimes that can be wise," she admitted. "Even Hill agreed with that."
He grinned. "We'll have to see how that plays out."
"Darcy did promise she'd hurt him if he hurt Jane. Thankfully she's not moved in with him yet." Stark came past them to get more coffee, shaking his head the whole way. "Is Thor fine?"
"Burned a bit. Singed his hair. Either he's a clueless dick or a using bastard, I'm not sure which. You should talk Rogers into talking to him about how to treat a Midgardian girlfriend." He walked off shaking his head as he sipped his coffee.
Clint grinned at her. "He might appreciate that."
"Steve or Thor?" she shot back with a smirk.
"Steve."
"I'd rather see Jane with someone like Steve if they do break up. At least we know he's decent. Could probably use trained in bed perhaps but he'll treat her well enough and support her working while pulling her from the lab so often."
He grinned. "She does seem to need it." He leaned back. "That brother he was complaining about?"
"Loki? I'd have to meet him to see if he was as messy as Thor is."
"Huh." He nodded. "Think he's down here?"
"Yes. I do." He stared at her. She grinned. "I think SHIELD may have spotted him as well. Tall, lanky, dark hair?"
"That guy from the roof?"
"Perhaps. I'm not certain."
"Huh. That may explain why Thor hates Lewis."
"He doesn't seem to like anyone not him or his Warriors Three buddies." Clint nodded that was true. "He appreciates them but liking them?" She shrugged.
***
Loki got the email from the blind email account, staring at it oddly. "Thor has upset Jane to the point where I need to smite him. Do you have a favorite method of smiting I can borrow?" he read, then smiled. He sent back a question about what the idiot had done. So she told him everything. He winced.
"No, she cannot turn that down by not showing up. Even if they are broken up. It will insult Odin and he'll try to invade Midgard for that." She sent back a 'shit'. "Indeed," he joked, answering that word. He suggested a nice thank you note instead of just not showing up. You know, having manners. Darcy agreed and had Jane copy the letter she wrote out for her so it was in her handwriting. Then Jane went up to see if she could find a raven. Darcy followed, charming the raven to take the letter for them.
Then they went back to the lab. Darcy sent him a picture of a dress for some reason. "It's not really my shape, woman." He sent that back and she snorted and said it was for her because she had a date then sent another one and asked which one looked better on her. He stared at it.
His answer back of 'answer the door naked so he doesn't waste your time in more than the bedroom' made her laugh and snort and tell him no, it was a first date, not a sex date. Then she sent him a third picture and said she'd wear that one. He groaned. That one was showy and would look fantastic. It was that same scarlet he always put her in. He slumped, staring at that picture.
He really did have to figure out his love life so he could fix Thor's tragedy before it caused a war.
***
Darcy watched Thor stare at Jane like he was disappointed in her. It was his own fault. Clearly his mother had missed a few manly lessons. She looked at Steve, who was giving her odd looks. She shrugged and held up the hand cuffed to Jane, who was rolling her eyes. "One of the security team jumped and hated us because Jane turned on a machine while he was trying to nag me about being here and a woman in the lab. So we're officially under house arrest," she finished sarcastically. "I don't have something I can cut them with. Do you?"
He looked at the plastic-steel woven zip tie style cuffs, trying his pocket knife. Nope. "Sorry, Lewis."
"It happens. If we have to, we'll go borrow some acid from a chemist. I'm mostly waiting on Stark to come tell us it's fine to do that." She shifted, making Jane shift backward. "Sorry, Jane. But sit, please." Jane sat down with a sigh. She waved their cuffed hands when Pepper stopped to stare at her. "Security guy hates women."
"I think I've got a report on him, Miss Lewis. Are you all right?"
"I'm good. Just waiting on a resolution so I can go home after borrowing some acid from a chem lab."
Pepper nodded. "Does anyone else have a knife?" she asked.
"We tried," Natasha admitted. "So did Steve. They'll need an acid."
Jane looked at her wrist then at Darcy. "If only I liked girls," she joked.
Darcy smirked back. "It's not bad but you're not cuddly, Jane." Jane nodded that was true. Banner came up with a vial of acid for them. Darcy dragged Jane to the bathroom to release them. They came out separately because Darcy really had to pee. She came out wiping off her hands on a paper towel she threw out. "There, that's better. Thank you, Dr. Banner."
"Welcome, Lewis. Stark's still yelling so you probably have to wait."
"That's fine. I can sit here and look pretty." She flopped back down.
Jane looked at her. "You're more than pretty, Darcy. Quit that." Darcy shrugged but grinned. Jane looked at Natasha. "Sometimes she has a negative body image."
"Sometimes all women do." She settled in to watch Clint finish cutting up parts of dinner so she could cook. Darcy came in when she went in there, helping her with things. "It's good someone else can cook."
"I've had to feed myself many years. And sometimes Jane too." She handed over the mushrooms. "Needed those?"
"I did." She got into stir fry she was working on, humming as she worked.
Thor looked at Steve, who was shrugging. "She seems nice."
"She is," Jane said firmly. "She just doesn't put up with putting us in danger."
Steve nodded. "Wouldn't want to do that, Foster." Jane grinned at him. "So, how are you doing the upcoming speech?"
"I have a speech? Darcy?" she called.
"Two weeks, the speech's mostly written, you're speaking on the bridge and your newest work at that college in front of idiot students who think they know something since they'll be mostly undergrads. Basically two classes of astro people."
"Oh, okay. Where?"
She pointed the knife uptown. "That way by a few blocks."
"That's handy. No flying this time." She got into her notes, finding that listed on the calendar. "Eeehhh, I hate that guy."
"He's the teacher," Darcy reminded her. "So he's screwing up people who want to be you. He's even driven some women out of science, Jane."
"Screw him then. I'll prove what women are in science for. Maybe he'll retire in a fit of poutiness about being a man."
"Do they still do that?" Steve asked her.
"Yeah." She looked up at him. "Often. I'm still mad that the Nobel committee won't correct their problems when they got proof that women had done the whole work and men had stolen it to get an award. They should have been noted that new evidence said that the men were idiots after all." She got back into her calendar. "Why am I looking at a grade school, Darcy?"
"Stark's thing about talking to young students," she called back, handing over the peppers. "I just rough chopped instead of making matchsticks. Those ones were getting floppy."
"That's fine. Though can we make smaller chunks?" Darcy took them back to do that. "That'll help." She put them into the pan. "Onions?" Clint slid that cutting board over. "Thank you. The meat?" Clint got it from the fridge for her with the sauces she had mixed earlier. "Thank you. Someone has started the rice already?" Clint moved to do that in the rice cooker, and Darcy added a few things to make it nicer. "Lemon peel?"
"Yeah. It'll go well with all that and the scallions you're adding." She grinned. "A bit of zing."
"Huh. I hadn't thought of that." She shrugged and decided she could try it. Darcy went to look over Jane's shoulder and show her something on her phone.
"Oh, hell," Jane muttered. "What's that for?"
"Award." Jane looked up at her. "Business suit though since it's daytime. I checked, they said nice dress or suit."
"I can do that. I do have the mauve one."
"It's gotta be replaced, Jane. It's got a hole, it's thin, and your only dress is about as bad. Find a new one?"
"I guess," she huffed. She put her phone down, looking at the staring people. "I'm not the clothing girl that some are. As long as I'm covered and comfortable I'm good." Pepper smiled at that. "I couldn't stand to wear business suits every day, Pepper."
"I can fully understand that. Not everyone can."
"Skirts can be nice but annoying," Natasha agreed, looking at Darcy.
"I've done my share of it but I do prefer leggings." She looked over as Stark came off the elevator with a huff. "Am I cleared to leave?"
"Yeah, go ahead, Lewis. He's fired and if he gives you shit, kick his ass."
"I can't really do that. I can taze him though." She smiled as she grabbed her bag off the couch to put on. "Laters, all. Have a good dinner." She left, going to catch a train.
Jane shook her head. "Darcy is very lively sometimes."
"Jane, I was going to see if you wanted to accompany me to the library event next week," Thor said.
Jane blinked at him. "I thought we broke up, Thor." He stared in open-mouthed horror. "If I'm dating, I expect my boyfriend to be at my events while I'm going to his. You refused to go to two things next month with me." She stood up. "So I thought we broke up." She walked off, waving. "Thanks for the rescue, Stark. Have a great night."
"You too, Foster. Have fun with whatever you're doing tonight."
"Calculus. I need stress relief and it's better than a vibrator."
"It can be," Bruce admitted. "Not that I get much use out of vibrators."
Tony grinned at him. "You could."
"No thank you. Not my thing as the young kids say these days." He settled into his chair. "Lemon and orange zest in the rice isn't that uncommon in Europe or Asia, Natasha."
"I hadn't had it that way. We have one without and one with."
"That's fine." He smiled at Pepper. "You could probably suggest where Jane should shop for that new dress. You're both built on that skinny, fashion designers like your form sort of way."
"I do have one I could recommend. I'll send her an email later. Maybe Darcy could pick up something nice."
"The places you shop wouldn't have anything to fit her chest," Natasha said dryly. "They just don't fit anyone over a B cup, Pepper. I have that same problem. Though Darcy usually does look cute. Not fully out of her college years but cute." Everyone nodded at that. She finished up the stir fry and let it stay warm for now while the rice finished cooking. She came out to sit down. "The rice cookers say fifteen more minutes then I'll go stir things together with the sauces." They all nodded, getting comfortable. "That guard?"
"Hates women apparently," Stark said dryly. "Thought women should only be property to be kept safely at home. I'm about to let him see Foster's portal mistakes that nearly ended London." He grinned. "But he's fired so he shouldn't annoy you either."
"I just stun them and walk over those sort."
Pepper nodded. "I tend to rip them verbally then walk off smugly. It's my defense style." She smiled.
"I growl. Usually people take the hint," Bruce quipped.
"Me too," Clint agreed with a nod. "Or I visibly tune them out as I walk around them."
Stark looked at him. "We noticed." Clint shrugged. "Tell me if there's an issue with the comms earpiece?"
"I can do that. I tend to link them together. There's a spot for the SHIELD ones."
"Bring them to me tomorrow sometime in the morning and I'll make sure, Hawkass."
"Thanks, Stark." He looked in the kitchen then at Natasha, who rolled her eyes. "Do we think Lewis bakes?"
"Yes, she does," Stark said smugly. "I stole a muffin yesterday."
"Awww. Damn it."
"They were even mostly healthy since she was trying to tempt Jane into eating again." He shook his head with a sigh.
"I remember those days," Pepper quipped with a smirk for him.
He stared at her, then blew a kiss. "At least you kept me alive, Pep." She nodded with a grin.
Bruce shook his head. He knew that state all too well too. All scientists had it when they were nearly at a breaking through point. Or a breaking point sometimes.
***
Darcy came home from her date, taking off her scarf as she walked into her apartment. She knew Loki was there. She had felt him, and her security system had said so. She nodded at him, hanging her purse and wrap up then kicking off her shoes as she locked the door. "Bad day being a mayor?"
"Not really. I've straightened out the minor issues they were having. Today I had lunch," he said blandly, staring at her. "Nice date?"
"Not bad." She smiled, walking around him. He pulled her back with a touch of magic, staring up at her. "What? I was going to change."
"I remember when corsets were worn on the inside," he said dryly.
She smiled. "Things change, as you know." She looked at her purple dress with an external charcoal gray waist cincher then at him again. "I found it in a small resale shop." She grinned. "Let me go change."
"You do look nice."
"Thank you." She curtseyed before going to get into regular clothes. She came out in leggings and a long t-shirt. "So why the visit? Just bored? Want a glass of inexpensive yet tasty wine?"
"Please." He got up to join her in the kitchen, taking his glass to sniff then taste. "That is nice." He sipped, watching her. She stared back. "Why did you not tell me that things were bad when I showed up?"
"Why bring down the two hours you were there? Not much you could really do."
"I..." He grimaced. "I was unfair to you and the children." She tipped her head, staring up at him. He sighed. "I truly was."
"You were absorbed in other matters," she said. "I didn't expect anything else. Really, I nearly did give the boys up for adoption, especially the first one." She took a sip. "It got me a lot of long looks and a lot of bad talking about us." She took a bigger drink. "But that's probably not why you're here."
He put the glass down and took hers to put down with his, staring at her. "I would have provided if I had known."
"Every decade for two hours?" she asked. "Really, Loki?"
He sighed. "I would have found a way to provide for you and the boys." He kissed her on the forehead, staring down at her. "I did wrong on that. I'm sorry."
"It's nothing we can change." She took a real kiss. "Still did better than Thor has. They've broken up by the way."
"I got a message from Thor asking for advice for how to get his Jane calmed down."
"In the last week?"
"Yes. Two days ago."
She just nodded then shook her head. "No. He refused to treat her like a girlfriend. He was confused that Jane wanted him to go places with her and expected him to go places with her and she expected to go places with him."
He winced with a sigh at the end. "That explains much. Though there are SHIELD agents getting nosy around me."
She quirked an eyebrow up. "I've tried."
"I know." He took another kiss, pulling her closer. "His mother would not have been pleased at all that." She smirked. "I know but she would hate you for other reasons."
"Hmm." She stared up at him. "Did you just need some comfort?" He nodded so she brought the wine and glasses out to the couch, sitting against him so he could calm down. She heard the magic coming and looked up. "Incoming," she said quietly, taking another sip of wine.
He tested and sighed. "Einhenjar." He gulped his and poured more. "They will not destroy this apartment, Darcy. I won't allow it."
"Did you forget you taught me combatives?"
"Yes. Though you're very delicate." She smirked. The two guards tried to bust in and had to scream at the way the door bit them back. "We're not accepting visitors," he yelled. "Go home!" He took another bigger drink, topping up their glasses with the rest of the bottle.
"Should I go get that hairpiece?"
"They'll attack for that."
"Yes, because apparently Odin couldn't keep it in his pants." She sipped her wine with a sigh. One of the guards knocked hard. She got up to go answer the door. "Yes?"
"We require our prince's presence, woman."
She hit him with the tazer, staring at him as he thrashed on the ground. "Really? Why come here then? The only one here is myself and a mayor of a small town. Anything else?" She put the wine glass down on the side table, staring at the one still standing.
"Odin requires his son."
"Thor's at Avengers tower." She pointed. "That way by about fifteen miles. Big, tall building with a huge A on the side in lights." The guard looked confused. "Thor's not here. I'd never let him rest in my house."
"Woman, we require the other son I can clearly see behind you."
Loki got up to walk over there. "I'm no son of Odin. He has no right to summon me."
She put a hand on his arm, staring up at him. "Want me to write your people that you'll be late to work tomorrow?"
"No. I have no problem getting to work." The guard tried to grab him so she zapped him, making him fall down holding his stomach. "You still own that device?" he asked with a smile.
"Yeah. I love my taser pal." She grinned, kissing him gently. "Have fun."
"You as well." He finished his wine and left.
"There, now you can quit bothering me."
"You will pay for upsetting Odin, woman," the guard she had gotten sneered as he got up. She walked off with a sigh, confusing him greatly, coming back with something she threw on them, making them both scream and lock up. "What is this foulness!"
"Chemical restraints." An officer walked up the hall cautiously. "Come on, Officer." She waved a hand. "These are two of Thor's people being asses and looking bad on Asgard. They decided my guest of the night was Thor's brother so came to kidnap him." She sipped her wine, leaning on the door frame. "I hit them with a chemical restraint a former school buddy made for me a few years back. So they're frozen stiff at the moment."
"A neighbor reported screaming?"
"Yes, I own a taser." She smiled. "They're idiots. Rude, obnoxious idiots. But Odin just had to send them after his son he hates." She finished her wine. The glass went behind her on the table for her keys and mail. "I don't like them trying to break into my apartment."
"I wouldn't either," the officer agreed, calling in for help removing them. "Can they walk?"
"It's frozen their skin for about eightish hours she said." She grinned. "I've had to use it a few times in the past. I need to get her to make me more if this is going to continue." She looked at the guards, who were sneering. "Yes, we Midgardian women do tend to protect ourselves. It's no longer the time when you can rape, pillage, and threaten to get your way." She looked at the new officers, waving a hand. "Hey, guys. Thor's at Avengers tower."
"Why does that matter?" one of the new one asked.
"They're his daddy's guards. They wanted his brother to kidnap him. Odin's kind of a dick."
They nodded, taking those two, though one asked her about the chemical restraint. She gave them the vial it had been stored in. That might help them so they left her alone. Darcy closed her door and locked it then called Jane on a video call. "So, Odin sent Einhenjar down to kidnap Loki." Jane sighed, looking at her. "Oh, I so am not amused. They tried to force their way in. I had to use the chemical restraint vial." She waved a hand with a smirk. "I told them where Thor is. By the way, his brother said that Thor asked him two days ago how to calm you down. His brother thought you two may still be dating."
Jane shook her head slowly. "No, we're not. Okay, I'll let him know that. Just two guards?"
"At the moment. They got arrested for trying to break in here."
"Great. Have a quieter night, Darcy." She looked. "No dress?"
"Already changed. It wasn't a bad date."
"That's great. You need more fun in your life." She looked to the side. "Let me tell the others."
"Have fun with that. If JARVIS wants to get the hall cameras he can do that I guess."
"Good point. Have a better night." She hung up with a groan, looking at Natasha and Pepper. "Odin's guards just tried to break in on Darcy thinking she was hiding his brother. Who said Thor asked him how to calm me down so he thought we were still dating. How do I handle this?"
Natasha sipped her cocktail. "Restraints and a bat?"
"I'd probably break the bat." She sighed as she sipped her own cocktail. She was fairly tipsy but not drunk. "JARVIS, did you get that film?" It was shown on her tv. "Those are Einhenjar."
"Who is that man?" Natasha asked.
"That is Loki, his brother. Kind of. Loki was apparently adopted and Odin was a dick to him too. Thor treats him like shit most of the time but considers them brothers. He's actually down here being a mayor. Darcy told him how to get world domination through politics instead of force." She finished her drink and put the glass down. "I have no idea of the full story about all that. It's a soap opera and it's stupidly annoying to watch."
"Is Darcy part of that?"
Jane looked at her. "I'm not going to answer questions for SHIELD to get nosy about Darcy, Natasha. They've already tried to kidnap her twice in the last few months." Natasha winced. "We'd all like SHIELD to disappear off the face of the earth." She smiled sweetly. "You can warn them I've boobytrapped everything they've stolen too."
Natasha nodded. "They have?"
"Yes. That's what happened in Ireland. Then they tried to blame me." She grinned. "So every file has a virus, or more than one, and each plan has fatal flaws on purpose. I've also noted in my last two articles going out that I didn't like SHIELD taking my things to sell to people who blew up things."
"They could have been HDYRA," Natasha offered.
"Same people, different masters?" Pepper guessed. "They've done it to Tony too."
Natasha nodded. "I was to get into his files to see what he was working on. I think he's forgiven me."
Pepper stared at her then sighed. "Natasha, he may have forgiven but he's not going to forget. You two should probably talk about that. Before it ends up getting someone hurt during a battle?"
"I should," she agreed. "He won't talk to me so I can start that talk."
"I'll have him settle down to do that in a few days." Pepper finished her drink and looked at Jane. "So that's his brother? The one he says is evil?"
"There's a lot of ...history there," Jane said. "Which I do not know. I know that he was adopted. I know that Thor talks about him fairly poorly a lot of the time. I know that he attacked Thor in New Mexico but I also know that Darcy saved his life because he was going to fall to his death instead of dealing with Thor and Odin. Is that a good thing? Probably not." Both women nodded. "I know she's talked to him about how to have a better life without being in the palace. Which is probably why Odin had him sent for."
"So Odin is not a pleasant ruler?" Natasha asked.
"No." She shook her head. "He's very dictator-like from what I know. Asgard claims the protection of all nine realms because they're the ones Odin conquered way back in history." She shifted. "I'm not a fan of Odin and he hates me."
"Would Darcy know more?" Natasha asked.
"No and if she heard I had said that much she's going to be mad at me."
The women nodded at that. "Where does Darcy come from?" Natasha asked.
"No idea. Honestly, no idea. I know she can't have daughters or she'll die." They both winced. "And if someone tries that, well, I'd pity their selves." She grinned at Natasha, who winced but nodded. "Something Odin's wife did cursed her apparently."
"That explains why she does not really tolerate Thor's moodiness."
"If we were happy, she'd let Thor be."
The others nodded, slotting that into the ideas about those two and Thor's problems.
Loki appeared, staring at Jane with a smirk. "She's going to kill you if that gets her harmed, Jane. Because the redheaded one's bosses will intentionally kill her that way." He looked at Natasha. "Both of them." She winced. "I would stop them while I go make sure Darcy does the birth control spells we developed." He looked at Jane then at Natasha again. "I will warn you once of this, Widowmaker. Darcy is a pleasant, sweet young woman who has to sometimes be protective.
"She will fight like any tigress and will win somehow. Even if it means she must take down a whole country. She did in a small area of Germany." He disappeared to go warn her that Jane had blabbed under surveillance. He did the spell, waking her up. "Your adult child is drunk and telling others things." She winced. "That redheaded agent will probably try to block it."
"I'm going then." She got up to pack things. He grinned and helped. "The farm's gone."
"Go to the one in England?" She nodded, calling the people who moved her. He brought her to the old house that she had bought off the fabric mill she had once worked in. The house was a wreck but she could handle that. He kissed her and winked then left.
She looked around then sighed and found the old broom in a corner. She could use it until she got hers from her apartment in a few weeks. They'd move it a few places before it got back to her. She did send out a message to the family that she was safe and out of harm's way. She'd talk to Jane in a few days she guessed.
She changed her number, her sim card, and her ISP address on her phone to make it harder to track her. SHIELD was going to need to come down. Maybe the grandson would like to help with that? That would probably look bad on his agency though. So maybe some press attention? Or a political movement? She could think while she swept the old floors.
***
Jane walked in the next morning and noticed the signs that Darcy had left. "Damn it!"
Pepper walked in a minute later. "Oh, she had to flee. Sorry, Jane." She patted her on the arm. "That's probably why there's a petition to move Thor off the planet?"
"No, that's not Darcy's style." She sighed. "This isn't good." She went to check things. "She's got the data backup. So that's safe at least."
"Any idea where she went?" Pepper asked. "Can she video commute maybe?"
Jane looked at her. "She loves me like a sister, Pepper, but she's not going to risk her life for me. Not with this going on. I need to help her erase all the videos and files." She sat down to email Darcy to see how she could help and apologize. No answer, it came back undeliverable. So she was truly gone out of this life to a new one.
Pepper left to talk to Natasha, who was not pleased. She was being chewed on over the phone. "Is that about how we talked to Jane and Darcy had to flee for her life?" she asked.
Natasha looked at her. "She did?"
"Completely."
"Well, SHIELD can fall I suppose," she said, hanging up. "Let's see if we can find and end the problems." She settled to hack SHIELD's files to end the ones on Lewis. They were all especially wrong so that was a good thing.
Thor was in the living room when Pepper walked past him looking smug. Pepper stared at him. He quit looking so smug. "I hope you're happy," she said quietly. "And that it lives by the three fold rule, Thor." She walked off again. She had to talk to Tony about getting Thor out of the tower sooner. Jane wasn't safe with Thor there and no guards on her. She assigned her a new helper to fuss at the machines for her through Stark. Tony was looking at the files he was purging for Jane. "Lewis?"
"Somewhere. That guy showed up to help her move."
"That was Loki apparently."
He looked at her. "Thor's brother?" She nodded. "Yeah, he's gotta go." He got up to make that arrangement. Thor had started all this stress, he had to go to end it. Thor was trying to talk to Jane so he walked in to get between them. "Hey, Shakespeare's Sister, leave Jane alone. You two broke up and if she's got sense she's not coming back since you treated her worse than a mistress." He looked back. "Jane, you good?"
"I was tipsy. I've apologized." She sighed, looking at him. "No I'm not. This could get Darcy killed." Thor snorted. Jane got up and hit him, making him yelp and back away from him. "I hate you," she sneered. "You hurt my family. I don't give a *damn* what you want, Thor. You're selfish and you're mean spirited. I deserve better than that in my life." She pointed. "Have a great day, Thor."
"You are mine, Jane."
"No I'm not. We broke up. We broke up weeks ago." Thor glared. She stared back. Thor pushed Tony and nope. Tony got in his way again. Jane's fists were balled up.
Loki appeared, shaking his head. "What a mess you've made of things, Thor." Thor spun to stare at him. "You have hurt Jane's adopted sister. You've tried to have me killed as I've found out." He stared at him. "You know she will tell everyone of this. About everything." Thor stomped off. Loki sighed, looking at Jane, who slumped, shaking her head.
"She realizes you were tipsy, chit. She is plotting. You can probably help her with that but from a distance as that would endanger her more." He looked at Stark, who was staring back. "When Darcy saved me that night she had me cast a foresight spell. So I could see what she had. We should show that off. We'll need water." He strolled off. "Let us find some we can stand in."
"I have a pool. JARVIS, get the others. Include Thor last." He followed with Jane and Pepper coming. He grabbed Banner, taking him with him. "C'mon."
The others gathered and Loki stared at one. "It will upset you, Archer. Though do know I was not in any more control than you would have been." He walked into the water once his pants were rolled up and his shoes removed. "Please."
They came down. Thor stomped in and huffed but joined in. "Shoes, Thor. That's rude. Your mother would be appalled." Thor got out to take off his shoes then came back. "We are going to scry the past so you can see what was foretold and stopped." He cast that spell, which was complicated. It brought them back to that night she had saved him on the roof of the former car dealership. He cast a second spell to show the portal that he had built for the foresight spell.
At the end, he canceled them both. He stared at Stark then at Thor. "Are you still proud?" He looked at Stark again, who was stiff. His jaw was set, his eyes were hard. "Now you know why. We are trying to stop things. We do not want that to happen. That one may still show up. I wouldn't have been the only one he tortured." The archer shifted. "The cube is still in the wind," he warned. Then he waved a hand and disappeared.
Thor huffed. "That cannot..."
Jane glared at him. "Yes, it was, Thor. We've seen hints of those."
Stark nodded, swallowing. "Yes. We have." He looked at the others. "Team meeting, living room, people. There's towels up there." He climbed out of the pool, going to make sure the AI had taped that. He was not pleased. He had misunderstood. He didn't like leaving things to others to handle so nothing got missed but he had dropped the ball. He faced off with the team, who were all staring back. "So, what do we do now? How much of that can still happen?"
"The purple being?" Natasha asked Thor, who shrugged.
"It is not in anything I have noted, Widowmaker." He looked at her. "I know not what Loki had planned with that move."
"I don't think your brother was doing more than protecting the girlfriend he's had for years," Natasha shot back. "How long have they been together?" Thor shrugged. "Wonderful." She looked at Steve, then at Stark and Jane. "Jane?"
"No clue. Over a decade since she told me he forgot about her for over a decade." She shifted. "She wouldn't tell me to protect both of us, Natasha."
"All right. Is there a way for that purple being to get here? Can anyone find Loki so we can get better answers?"
"He's a mayor in some small Eastern European country," Jane offered. "Darcy talked him into getting influence through politics instead."
"It's how most people seem to do it," Steve agreed casually, leaning back. "All right. That guy in the mask. Any idea where Barnes is?" They all stared at him. He nodded. "That was Bucky."
"That was HYDRA," Clint said. "Which figures."
Steve nodded. "We need to end that?"
"They think they have but if there's any left we've got to route them out. It may mean SHIELD finishes falling in," Stark said. "Not that I'm against that." He looked at the two agents then at Steve. "Before you ask, that AI thing, I'm checking the coding later without activating it. It needs an activation to start up and I'll make sure it can't."
"Just erase it?" Natasha asked.
"That'd be murder. Am I that way?"
"Let me have it," she ordered, staring at him. "I will magnetize it and destroy the hard drive. I have no idea what made him go that way when your others didn't."
"I teach them to learn. Apparently he ran into the shitty human epidemic." He nodded. "It's in the safe in the lab. I'll toss it at you later."
"Thank you. Just so we don't have to go there as well." She looked at Steve. "Now what do you have planned?"
"Apparently HYDRA. You?"
"Same," she said, looking at Clint, who nodded.
"Fury," he said. "Because he's the master planner behind a lot of the problems SHIELD caused. I know he's not HYDRA but he's been causing Lewis stress." He looked at Banner, who nodded he agreed. "You safe?" he asked.
"I hope so. Ross is an attack dog." He relaxed by force, rubbing his forehead. "Start back sooner. Who was that?"
"Loki," Natasha said. "Thor's adopted brother."
Bruce nodded. "Is he trustable as a resource?"
"No," Stark said with Thor overtop of him. "But he'll work in his own self-interest," Stark finished.
Bruce nodded. "So he was stopped from being tortured and used to attack us. He avoided being tortured by his family for being tortured. Yeah, I'm going to say that let's just create a whole new timeline." He stared at Thor. Who wouldn't look at him. Then at Jane. "Are you safe?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "SHIELD's been hunting my stuff since New Mexico. They've stolen some and sold it. Then they tried to blame me."
"I know how that goes. Had that done to my own work," Stark agreed. Banner nodded he had too. "Okay, so we're anti SHIELD. That's good to know." Clint and Natasha both nodded. Steve was grimacing. "Are there agents we can trust?"
"Yes," Jane said, sitting up. "Darcy has a contact in a small agency in England. He's sweet, she treats him like a grandson." She smiled at Stark. "They're small but she trusts him."
"Name?"
"No clue."
"The one who kissed her on the cheek in the park?" Natasha asked. Jane nodded. "We can look him up."
"They're in England but are multi-national."
She smiled. "I know them," Clint agreed at her look. "Yeah, that makes sense. She would trust *him*." He found his phone and pulled it out to call. "Ma'am," he said dryly. "Put me on with Hunter, I need a number over in England." His ex handed over the phone. "We need to talk to the handsome prick in UNCLE," he said quietly.
"Today. It's important. Move you and Bobbi out of there. HYDRA is still around and have plans. SHIELD may end up in embers so make a life plan." He hung up. He texted Coulson to gather a few people because they were trustworthy then go into hiding from SHIELD and HYDRA. "Think that one that took down that base was her son?" he asked them.
Natasha smiled. "I had that thought but I'm not sure." She looked at Jane, who shrugged. "Does she have children?"
"Sons. Thor's mom cursed her whole family to die when their daughters turned fifteen. Take out the women, take out the people."
"Interesting," Natasha said. "Good luck on that."
"I'm hoping she's here for a lot longer," Jane agreed. "Even if I can't see her again."
"So, her past?" Stark asked.
"She has other degrees, Stark."
"Figures." He sulked. "The weaving thing?"
"It was an important job that women were encouraged to do anyway," Jane told him. "It was one of the few jobs women could hold without permission or threats."
"That figures," Natasha agreed, nodding and looking at her hands to check her nails. "How long do you think it'll take, Clint?"
"Hours maybe. Maybe just travel time. Might depend on where he is and if he's working."
"If so, we can arrange to get him a dvd of that watching," Stark said, looking at Natasha, who nodded she could. "Anything else we need to plot right now beyond making sure Jane's safe?" Jane looked at him. "No, I need you safe. From everyone, Foster. Your work has enormous potential to create hell. We are not letting anyone steal it again." She grinned and nodded, looking outside again. "Bruce?"
"We need to do some housekeeping on the lab floors," he noted. "There's a few assistants that are sketchy. I thought Lewis might've been but didn't think she was hiding herself for her own safety." He rubbed his forehead again. "Look at the ones in chem, Stark."
"Gladly. Starting tonight." He looked around. "Rogers?"
"I'm getting Bucky one way or another. Romanoff, find him for me so I can go raid?"
"Of course." She went to do that from a free lab. Stark tossed her the hard drive after a few minutes. She let her programs run the data mining operations while she destroyed the hard drive completely. She had it blown up with a tiny explosive. That way no one could ever touch that one AI again.
***
Natasha walked into the concert's intermission hall, strolling around with a glass of champagne. She spotted her target, who was watching someone else. She casually strolled closer, staring at him. He quirked an eyebrow up as he sipped from his own glass. "May I help you, miss?" he asked quietly.
"Yes." She leaned closer to kiss him on the cheek, slipping that DVD into his pocket. "Tell her we're making it safer." She smiled at him slightly. "And Jane is pouty." She strolled on, going to find one of her other marks in there. She knew he was on the SHIELD high priority list for arms sales. She could get him tonight perhaps. She charmed him into walking off with her, and Clint had been her backup so he was waiting in a back hall to help her take his sedated self off.
The agent felt the weight in his pocket, figuring what it was. It was amusing how some agents still used DVD's instead of SD cards but they were not hackable. When his secondary target was taken off by that very well known agent, he got to be amused and it let him make a move on his primary target. They could wrap that up that night. When he got back to the hotel room after handing over their target to Waverly's backup team, he settled in to watch that DVD.
"Well, damn it," he said quietly. "No wonder." He considered contacting his grandmother but she was in hiding. There were only a few places she could be. He'd find her later to check on her. It really did explain a lot and he really had to deal with Thor soon for her. Or tell his uncles. They'd love to talk to Thor for their mother. He was amused that he had run into his grandfather without realizing it. He had been at the concert. His teammates were staring so he shrugged.
"Grandmother," he told one, who nodded at that. "We've cleared our infection from HYDRA already but a few other agencies haven't. We'll be seeing a lot of fleeing agents looking for jobs. Also, this is...a weird thing from another timeline or something. We need to analyze it to see what UNCLE's response will be." They made calls to agents they knew to check on them. A few would turn out to be HYDRA but they'd be taken out too.
***
That agent looked at the tired looking woman in front of him as he walked into the charming old cabin. "They tried to claim this for the railroad but somehow couldn't get near it."
"I've got a diversion up," she said with a grin. "Good morning to you too."
He leaned down to stare at her. "How right was that foresight portal?"
"Extremely. But saving your grandfather saved everyone." She sipped her coffee. "He didn't get to fall to the purple one Thanos. Which cut out a lot of other problems."
He straightened up, staring at her. "Is it still coming?" She shrugged. "Who would know?"
"Tall, blond, dumbass who's harassing his ex-girlfriend probably?" she asked with a point toward New York. "Maybe some of his contacts."
He sighed. "Should we worry?"
"If he shows up, you should try to go to another of the seven realms that're left, baby." She grinned. "I will be." He moaned. "That dark haired destructive one? That's Hela."
"Damn it." He sat down. "Saw myths of her."
"Hmm." She sipped her coffee again. "But we'll handle it as we must."
He nodded. "We always do." He looked around then at her. "They'd probably buy it if you sold it."
"Probably. I haven't really been able to keep up on the maintenance on it." She shrugged. "We'll see. I have no idea and this was just an intermediary."
"There's all those off the grid sorts," he offered with a smirk.
"I could go back to living like that. Though I still kill plants sometimes and I really hate chickens. Still." He laughed. "Seriously. And that's how they taught me where babies come from, explaining why my hens weren't producing eggs."
"That's sad," he said smugly. "At least you did learn better."
"Yeah. A lot later than that. He found the contraceptive spell so no daughters." She finished that cup of coffee. "You get followed?"
"No and the wire they demanded quit working about twenty miles back." She smirked at him for that. "Are you going to be all right?"
"Yeah. Probably." She nodded a bit. "I've survived this long and there's been no daughters. Nearly one but no."
"Spell failed?"
"The second kid would've been a mixed set of twins. I delivered stillborn due to measles." She got more coffee and sat down. "Want some?"
"No, I had mass produced and it left my mouth burned." He sighed, looking at her. "We could go back to one of the other realms."
"We could," she said with a nod. "Even if we could find the hereditary people, they probably wouldn't accept us. We've been down here too long."
"Probably. Are we like the Rom of Asgard?" She grinned and nodded. "I had that suspicion because of the jewelry styles." She got up to get her mother's journals, letting him see them. He carefully read them, frowning some. "That's interesting. Have the uncles?"
"Yeah, I let them all read them once they hit about sixteen. Peter got it a bit late."
He looked up. "If I have a daughter who has a daughter."
"Yes. It's passed on that way. Unfortunately. The last I heard from your grandfather, there were five women and seven sons left outside you boys."
He winced. "So even if I married a normal person..." She nodded, sipping her coffee. "So any daughter would need to have sons and those sons could have daughters who only had sons...." He made that note for himself.
"Are we thinking about a wife?"
"No," he said patiently, staring at her. "I have no intention to settle down, Grandmother."
"Me either. It just never seemed to happen." She shrugged. "At least you get to have some fun."
"You could come to us. We'd nurture your gifts and all your degrees."
"I only have three."
"Yes but one's chemistry, one's minor engineering, and one's political science."
"I think next time I might go for PR. Jane suggested network administration."
He stared at her oddly. "Well, you can hack," he muttered, making her smile. "What are we doing about the Asgardian threat?"
"He touches you boys and he's done for."
"They'll protest that he's a hero."
"Sometimes."
"Point. He can have us declared his people's enemies."
"He's tried. Odin would if he knew." She smirked a bit. "I've denied the urge a few times to show up there in full regalia and jewelry." He shuddered. "Oh, yes. Just to watch the shit fall apart. The one she cursed apparently left a curse of her own that Asgard would fall in, be completely destroyed."
He swallowed. "That's mean to the innocents."
"Which is why I haven't."
Loki appeared, staring at her. "How did you even learn of that?"
"I asked Sif." She smirked. "She and the three warriors showed up in New Mexico."
"I remember seeing them. I thought about kicking them like I had Jacob." He blinked a few times. "That would deny Hela her entrance."
She shrugged but grinned. "If I had it in me I'd make a nice semi-attached realm to farmstead on."
"None of us are that powerful and it's mythical, Darcy," Loki sighed.
"I know."
"Fine." He looked at his grandson. Then at Darcy again. "Are you all right?"
"Trying to figure out where to go from here."
"Well, I'll find you wherever," he said dryly, smirking at her.
"Can others use that?" the grandson asked dryly.
"It's magical. How many agents have magic?"
He looked up. "There's a new Sorcerer Supreme."
"He'd probably hate us too," Darcy quipped. "Pity. Don't know him and I don't get involved in his level of shit." The guys smiled at her. "Unless I have to." She finished that cup of coffee. "Breakfast, boys?"
"No thank you," Loki said. "I ate at home. They had a house fire last night I had to go make sure didn't spread so I was up at a charming three this morning." He sighed. He looked at his grandson.
"If you weren't chaos incarnate I'd suggest you come work for us too," he said dryly with a smirk. "You'd do great being an agent, Grandfather."
"Yes I would. Though that's a bit dangerous." He shifted and you could tell the thought excited him. "Do I really want a throne?"
"No," Darcy said, smiling at him. "Because that's even more work than being a mayor is."
"Good point." He kissed her, making her moan. "I should bring you to my town."
She smiled. "That would draw attention like it did in Geneva. I hate leaving the area very fast to get away from people who're mad at you."
"I know. The son said the same thing when he moved suddenly." He looked at the grandson.
"I'll be over when I retire. That way I can hide in plain sight." She kissed him on the forehead. "Thank you, Grandmother."
"Welcome, baby." She looked at Loki. "What would I be doing over there?"
"For all I care? Starting a new farm and taking up weaving again." She snorted, shaking her head. "You could. We do have some lovely farm land. You could easily get some sheep and goats to do that. Pull your full loom out, all that."
"That would draw attention."
"Not like they have a land database like the US and the UK does," the grandson said, staring at her. "It may be safer. Jacob's in the Alps. Peter and Antony are both in the US but may be leaving soon. Alphonse was in Canada but he said something about warrior monks driving him nuts so he was leaving the city before he got involved. He may be going to become a Mountie or something. And Linder is in Martinique. Hitting on a pretty beach loving woman."
"So grandbabies." He smiled at that. "There's only you and Peter's son the artist."
"Did you warn him about the curse?"
"Peter said he would."
"I'll make sure with Uncle Peter."
"Your father had avoided any other children somehow. No matter how often he's slept around," she said dryly. "I don't mind grandbabies."
"You could have another one," Loki offered, smiling at her. She stared back, frowning at him. "You could."
"I... really?"
"If you wanted, I would aid that." He stroked her cheek with his hand, grinning at him. "Especially if you were close enough for me to visit routinely. I've told them you're a distant cousin who was widowed when they caught me talking to the son. I excused him as a cousin."
She sighed. "He told me." He grinned at that. She sat down, staring up at Loki. "That is really weird."
"It possibly is. But if you wanted, I would gladly oblige."
"I've never realized how weird it was seeing your relatives try to talk about sex," Napoleon said dryly. "I always thought I was less uptight than that." He stood up, kissing his grandmother on the cheek. "I'll bring these back. Go farm near him. If I get a nephew, I'll be changing lives soon as well. Though I couldn't do a farm myself. Perhaps I'll go run an art gallery." He smirked as he walked off with the journals.
She looked at Loki. "Do you really want a sixth son?"
"I wasn't sure I wanted one son but it seems that I've missed out on things. I wish I hadn't." He stared at her. "We could work that out well enough together, Darcy."
"We could." She considered it. "Is now the right time?"
"The only birth control I can sense is the spells," he said smoothly, leaning down to kiss her deeply. She moaned into it. "We can let Fate decide."
"I think she hates me."
"She hates me more, Darcy." He winked and pulled her up, kissing her on the way to her bed. It was usually good between them. He could make sure of it this time. He had missed all the aggravations of fatherhood. Perhaps this time he wouldn't miss as many.
***
Epilogue: Six Months Later
***
Darcy looked up as her security system got a few people trying to come through her farm's lands, walking out to stare at the remaining ones. "Did you need something?" she asked politely.
The two men stared at her. "We were told an agent lived here?" one called.
"No, I'm not an agent." She pointed. "Nine miles to the west and up the hill. Past the river and up the hill."
They nodded. "Will our people be fine?"
"Probably. It was a sedative and EMP system that hit them." They grimaced. "Sorry but I'm very wary of visitors most of the time." She stroked over her pregnant stomach. "I don't need that stress, boys. Have some fun carrying them off though." She smiled and closed the door, resetting the system in case they came any closer. One did try and went down. The other one learned that lesson.
He called in that they were off-target and this one wanted some privacy. She looked out there. "Please do not get agents here. I'm not one, never was one, just want some privacy. I had to deal with agents recently and I hate it. I don't need that in my presently fragile state. Okay?" That one reported that. She sighed and cast at him, making him fall down.
She called the locals to come get them. The local village wasn't that far away. She was three hours from where Loki was mayor. He was actually enjoying it right now because there was some chaos of a new election and political intrigue. He was having a ball remembering how to do all that. Napoleon was at his new art gallery in Germany. So not that far away really.
The other boys were slowly leaving the US as they aged out of their lives. Only Antony was still there and he was being an idiot with his age. She'd enjoy having him going to Ireland next time. He'd send her great cheeses. She looked out when she heard the village officers, waving at them. "They wanted that agent guy. My trees ate them." They laughed but gathered them. "They came up the stream probably." She pointed. "The system said they parked by the bridge and came up."
"Thank you, Darcy," one called with a grin and a wave. "Are you well?"
"I'm six months pregnant."
He laughed and nodded. "My wife complained much about being pregnant too. Call us if you need things."
"Of course. You guys are the nicest people." They smiled and took her trash away for her. She closed the door, going out to the barn. She looked at her milk goat. "At least now I know why your kind scream when you're bred. Your kind used to make me fear for when a man got me," she told it as she milked her.
The goat nudged her but she just added some more things for her to munch on while being on the milking stand. She needed more fibrous vegetables. She was carrying twins. Darcy wasn't, she had one huge boy. "I don't remember being this heavy the last time," she told the goat. "It kinda sucks. I really need a backrub." She got done, fed the chickens and collected eggs, then went into the house to deal with the milk pasteurization and starting to make some cheese.
The goat went to frolic in the field. The chickens were inside the barn for now. It was a pretty day that was suddenly clouded by a ship coming in. She looked up and sighed. Her security system couldn't stop that. She could. She did something that sent two wrenches into their engines. That ship fell and went toward the village. She watched but it crashed outside, near the apple orchard up the stream. "Great, SHIELD is still around." She cleaned up, checked the security system, then went back to her homey things. She had all afternoon to weave something pretty to wear. Maybe she'd dye this one scarlet and put some gold embroidery on it, like old times.
The End.
Ancient History.