Note: Part of the chaos trunk series.
Bonding You, Bonding Me.
Xander answered his phone. He normally didn't answer unlisted or unknown numbers but he had a feeling he knew who this was. "What's up?" he asked as he worked a nail into place so he could hammer it in.
"Could you please leave whatever whore you've been on top of for the last two weeks alone? I'm rather in the middle of something and I can't concentrate."
"That's the girlfriend Anya," he said dryly. "Sorry she's so demanding." He grinned. "Not my fault, dude." He hung up and went back to work. The guy on the other end may be swearing. Xander had a number of times when he had felt him getting busy with whatever target he was dealing with that week. His coworkers looked over.
"Noise complaint about Anya squealing." They nodded, they had seen Anya showing up to nag Xander about things and realized she was probably loud at other times. Xander got back to work, humming some. Anya was not at home tonight so he'd at least get some good rest. He hoped. If that caller didn't pay him back by sharing the same way.
***
Anya met up with a sorcerer. "My boyfriend somehow got hit with a bond," she told him. "How do I help him break that?"
"Did he ask?"
"No. All he said was he was displaced and it was the Council's fault." The sorcerer grimaced, looking at things then showing her an entry in a book. She nodded with a sigh. "Yes, that's him. What did they do?"
The sorcerer smiled at her. "One of the present people in the Council got mad about him and sent him back in time to get him away from the slayer and to get him killed. The guy did not die, did not handle it well, but they decided to use him to help an intelligence contact with something.
"The Council back then didn't tell them about the bracelets or what they did but it linked him and another together. Then they spelled that one to live the same life as their victim. Who got a bit yelling and mad about it," he admitted, looking at the book. He looked at her. "But it cannot be broken. Anya."
"Wy not? Most bonds can be broken, even love ones."
"It's the bracelet. They were Brandust Bonding Bracelets, dear."
She blinked a few times. "Why on earth would the Council give anyone any version those?"
"They wanted the intelligence group gone too," he admitted. "They could expose the Council's work. And the boy did expose the Council back then and back here." He grinned. "Everyone pretty well went 'we knew that' and tried to ignore it but some have started to look into their methods because of it." She slumped, grimacing. "It's not legal so you can still marry him, but you have to realize that he's going to be at least slightly emotionally unavailable."
"He's a male, they're all like that. And I doubt that one got any of his emotions either. Xander doesn't really *share*."
He nodded. "Some men are like that, dear. You should go talk to him about how involved they're bound."
"I should," she sighed. "It sucks though. Can I still marry him?"
"Legally, yes."
"Hmm. Thank you for your time." She paid him and left to go home to talk to her boyfriend. "So, who's the one you got bound to?" she asked when he got out of the shower.
He blinked at her. "You heard?"
"I asked a sorcerer how to break it for you."
"I wish. I did end the one who bound us."
"The Council guy?"
"No, him I sold to a vampire." He went to put on clothes and came back out. "He's a spy, Anya. It's likely he's going to die someday soon."
"That would kill you too with that bracelet set."
"I researched it after that. It isn't definite. If he's just shot, yes. If he's tortured I'll get injured too but shot would only cause a lot of pain for a few minutes and whoever's left would be free."
She blinked a few times. "That's bad."
He nodded. "Not my doing."
"I realize that." She huffed. "How do you deal with this?"
"Well, he called earlier to ask me to let you sleep," he said dryly but smirked at her. "I told him I felt the same way about his recent targets."
She rolled her eyes. "So he can feel us having sex?"
"He can feel *me* having sex."
She nodded. "I could join in with that."
"I destroyed that set. It only had three cuffs and I destroyed it greatly."
She sighed. "That's good. So it's only you two?" He nodded. "Why did the intelligence person use that?"
"He was supposedly desperate and stupid."
"Oh, that reason." He nodded, getting comfortable. "Are you okay with that?"
"Not like I want him."
She smiled. "That's good to know." She kissed him. "Are we having fun tonight?"
"No, I'm tired." She sighed but nodded, leaning against him, just keeping it at kissing. He cuddled and enjoyed getting to bed at an earlier hour than daybreak.
***
In New York, an agent on an assignment sighed mentally in pleasure since he wasn't deluged by energy sapping sexual neediness. He really had to talk to that bondmate of his. That couldn't be healthy for him. Of course, that bondmate of his was a bit odd. He had done a background check and nothing of what he actually does showed up. The same wrong file showed up again and again, mostly thanks to someone named Rosenburg. He had to figure that out.
He did not want to be bound to some revolutionary figure.
He also had to talk to that girlfriend out there to make her leave him alone every now and then. She was much too needy and it annoyed him when he was trying to do things like woo heiresses who were Nazis.
***
His bondmate was in Bangkok when the intense pain hit him. He sucked in a deep breath and excused himself to go outside. He was rubbing his side, wincing at the pain. He had someone's number out there now. He called them. "Anya, it's Xander's bondmate," he said quietly. "Somehow he is very injured. His liver area is feeling like he got stabbed multiple times."
He winced at a new one. "Can you perhaps go help him?" He hung up, holding his side as he leaned against the building. This was not a good time for this. He felt himself getting ready to pass out. "Oh, fuck," he muttered in German. He came to in a hospital. He blinked a few times. "Where am I?" he asked the man next to him.
"Hospital," he said. "What's happened this time?"
"You remember what got Waverly dead?" His partner nodded. "That one got stabbed or something in the side."
"Ah." His partner leaned over, staring at him. He hadn't been gifted that life of the teenage male so he was older. "Are you better now?"
"I don't believe so. It still hurts." He sighed, sucking in a breath as he held his side. "What is he doing?"
"I do not know and no one out there is saying anything about something happening."
"I don't want to ask for favors," he said dryly. "But let's get out of here and go do that." He got up with a hiss, still holding his side. He found his clothes and put them on, coming out of the bathroom so they could sneak out together. His partner had looked up demon bars locally, because that idiot bondmate of his dealt with them somehow, so they knew where they were going. Napoleon walked into the bar by himself, going to the bartender. "What is going on with Harris?" he asked quietly.
"Why do you ask, human?"
"I'm unfortunately bound to him thanks to the Council way back when."
The bartender blinked then looked at someone.
"We heard they sent the slayer's helper back in time to kill him."
"Yes, they decided to bind him to me back when he didn't die of it. Tonight there's been a lot of pain. Do I need to go rescue him?"
"Oh, that's the witch probably. She's going suicidal. It's said he stopped her from ending everyone."
Napoleon blinked a few times. "He did what now?" The demon nodded. "Is he well?"
"Probably not. I can tell someone out there to check on the boy and call you," the bartender asked.
"Please. Though I may be heading that way to nag him. He's had a lot of emotional output recently."
"It's probably from Anyanka, his fiancee."
"I hadn't heard that. I just nagged him about it." They grinned at him. "Please do. Thank you." He walked off. "He saved people from a witch going suicidal."
"That's interesting," his partner said. "Should we go rescue him?"
"At least going to LA, yes." They headed for the airport. They had to straighten this out. Them being bound was hell on him.
His partner was amused, slightly, but worried as well. That amount of pain was not a good thing for any body. Much less one he had to rely on in the field.
***
Anya looked up as a man in a suit walked into the Magic Box, making her blink. He seemed familiar. "Welcome to the Magic Box. Let me know if you have problems finding things."
"Is Xander here?" he asked.
She smiled. "Not a chance I'll tell anyone that. I'd hate to miss him if you're the sort of bad guy who loves him. Or kill you if you try to take him from me."
"Anya," he said dryly. "I'm Napoleon." She looked confused. "The one that the bracelet hit."
"Oh!" She nodded. "He's at work." She pointed. "Two blocks up then to the right to the construction site."
"How is he working in that much pain?"
"He's probably had worse."
He stared at her. "Why would he?"
"You really haven't looked either. Huh. I thought it was just Buffy ad Willow." She hummed. "Go check on him if you want. We're getting married soon so you can tell him congratulations." She smiled. "Since that's not legally binding."
"I wouldn't care if you did marry him," he said dryly. "I don't want to."
"That means you're not dangerous," she quipped with a grin. "That's a nice thing."
He stared at her. "I am when I need to be."
"Clearly not because only the deadly and dangerous like him that way." She grinned. "Since I was a former vengeance demon for over a thousand years, he's definitely into my type."
He just nodded. "Good for you, dear." He went to the construction site, staring at Xander since he was on lunch. The boy finally looked at him and shrugged. He pointed with a grimace. Xander sighed as he walked over. "How are you working in this amount of pain?"
"Not like I have a choice if I want to pay the rent, buy her ring, and anything else she wants." He sipped his soda. "Not the first time I'm working while injured either."
"I see." He opened his mouth then closed it again. "You're in a lot of pain."
"I know that. I took advil. It's the only thing that works for me." He shrugged slightly. "I gotta go back to work. Have fun doing spy things."
"Take today off."
"I can't afford that. I'm about out of vacay time thanks to post-battle injuries. I'm off at five-thirty though."
"Fine, we can have drinks."
"Well, you can have drinks. I don't drink." He walked off to go back to work. He got more water for his work bottle and sat down again, saying something, then the bell went off so they got back to work together.
Napoleon watched from more covert location and followed Xander back to his apartment then to the Bronze. Which was clearly a mixed high school and college club that had an astounding amount of people wearing older clothes for some reason. Xander staked one that tried to nibble on him and it went to dust. "Oh, that's why," he decided. He sat across from him. "What the hell is going on?"
"I have no idea what you're worried about. I mean, her going into grief overdrive isn't normal, but the rest of the week has been pretty routine outside having to have succuba take the taint out of me." He sipped his beer slowly. Then he put the drink in front of him. "I hate beer."
Napoleon sipped and nodded. "Nice. Micro brewery?"
"Yeah. I didn't figure you'd drink anything too swill." He leaned on the table. "Sorry if that interfered with your job stuff."
"It almost did but I was barely starting so someone else could handle it." He took another sip then put the glass down. "So what happened?"
"She lost her lifemate. Right after they got back together. She was in grief and I had to stop her from making everyone else feel it."
Napoleon took another drink. "So that pain was her...."
"Hitting me with black magic so I'd leave her alone." He glanced around then at him. "Sorry, I had protections from Giles on."
He blinked a few times. "Your background check showed none of that, Xander."
"Yeah, the Initiative were weenies who enjoyed torturing people. It probably still says I'm a tag along."
"Someone named Rosenburg...."
"Oh, Willow again. Yeah, she used to hack."
Napoleon blinked a few more times, took another drink, and put the glass down. "So tell me."
"You're safer if you don't know."
Napoleon stared at him. "If I know I can avoid certain things so you don't get bothered by it."
"Short of you being eaten you won't be."
He slumped. "I could help."
"I doubt that. You didn't think it was that bad when we talked about one of them two years ago."
Napoleon sighed. "I deserve that," he agreed. "But..."
"There's no buts there. It's not for everyone to handle. I get that. It's not your scene, and I'm okay with that. The same as I can't do your job."
"I could help you with yours."
Xander smiled. "I doubt that. Guns aren't real useful for us." He shrugged. "It's not what you're used to and not what you handle. That's why I haven't asked."
"Would you if it was something I could help with?"
"No." He shook his head. "I jumped in and brought Willow. Look how that went." He got up to go dance. "I'm going to blow off some stress and hunt."
"Uh-huh." He watched and he did draw a few badly dressed early nineties rejects. Who then disappeared. He sighed, finishing that beer. Then he saw the blond thing that his bondmate worked with and shuddered at her clothes. That was not what classy women he usually dealt with wore. She nagged Xander but he ignored her and walked away.
Napoleon went out to help him, getting a dirty look from the blonde, and his bondmate. But it helped Xander relax again. "We still need to talk," he said over the music. Xander shrugged but stared at someone. Who came over to steal him until Xander got rid of her. Then he came back. He walked Xander outside, staring at him. "Is that normal for you?"
"Yes. Most nights. Later it'll be patrol."
Napoleon blinked a few times. "None of this was covered."
"Of course not." Buffy stomped out. "What? Not get anything?" he asked dryly.
"I thought I'd be saving you from an incubus. Again."
"You didn't save me from the last one," he said dryly. "And Anya sicced him on me." Buffy scowled. He stared back. "He's not an incubus, Buffy. The Council sent him to talk to me about my work with you."
"Why?" she demanded.
"They wanted me to recruit him to a different job. It'll stop their contract to kill him that's got a low price right now."
"I..." She blinked. "There is?" she demanded loudly. He nodded. "How bad?"
"Under a million when you change it from Pounds." She slumped but grimaced and headed inside. He looked at him. "You knew about that?"
"Of course. One of the assassins last year pouted about not getting it when I had him tied up before I roasted his ass. It's the only way he died." He shifted and grimaced at that. "But better him than half the town."
Napoleon blinked a few times. "Maybe I should take you on a vacation outside of town."
"No thanks. I gotta work. Bills have to be paid and Anya sure won't. I'd hate to lose all my stuff thanks to that."
"We can put it in storage."
"Which she'll still get into when it's not paid and she'll sell things on me."
"We can put it into better storage that she can't touch and with my own stored things."
"I don't think they need to mingle. I doubt your stuff would like my Star Trek stuff."
"No, probably not. But it can still do that. It won't mind. It's not intelligent. Unless yours are?"
"No. Not at the moment. I got it away from the tv that decide to gain sentience." Napoleon opened his mouth then closed it and sighed, rubbing his forehead. Xander slipped away. Napoleon found him a block later and walked him off. "I do have to get home before I have to hear Anya complaining tomorrow and for the next week."
"I met her earlier. We can talk to her together if you want."
"I doubt she's put up with you interrupting her sex life. She hates it when things do." Napoleon stared at him. "Fine," he sighed.
"Thank you for showing a bit of sense, Xander."
"The way you say my name is weird."
"It is not." He walked him off, taking him to his apartment. At least that was right in the dossier he had read. Wrong apartment in the building but the right building. He nodded at Anya. "I'm going over the dossier we have on him. It's apparently a bit wrong."
"It got Willow'd," Xander explained. "This is the bondmate."
"Awww. Hi. You're pretty but I'm glad he's not gay." She grinned and waved. "He does very good giving me orgasms."
"I'm glad he can, miss." She bounced off to get stuff for him. Including Xander's photo album. "Oh, that's something I haven't seen." He settled in to go over it with Xander watching him. It was entertaining and calming for now. Anya bounced off to soak in the tub for a bit. He looked at Xander, putting the photo album down on the coffee table. "So, tell me what's going on?"
"It's nothing unusual for town."
"Uh-huh."
"It's really not. A lot of patrol but nothing too huge. Outside of Willow's grief."
Napoleon stared at him. "I'd say that was massive as it nearly killed the both of us."
"No, I was getting help before you had someone call." Napoleon sighed. "I'm sorry it hit you with me."
"I'm sorry you had to stop her."
"I just made her stop and cry until the witches got there."
"That's good then." He got more comfortable on the old, lumpy couch. "How did that happen?"
"A lot of black magic."
"Go back farther."
"She lost her soulmate. Right after they got back together, after she cleaned up the magic addiction. Literally minutes after they got back together."
"All right. So she got lost in the grief, decided to make everyone hurt..." Xander nodded, swallowing as he looked down at his hands. "Is she all right now?"
"The coven in Devon has her to help her heal."
"That's good, hopefully they can help her." He crossed one leg onto his other knee. "What else has been going on since that dossier was completely off base?"
"Not a whole lot really. Patrol, same as usual. We defeated a hell goddess last spring." He looked at him. Napoleon blinked a few more times. "It was her or us. Buffy died for a bit thanks to that."
"A bit?" he asked.
"Yeah. Willow pulled her back."
He slumped, sucking in a breath. "That sounds bigger than the usual."
"Yeah but it means we'll probably have a big one this upcoming spring instead."
"What do you think it'll do?"
"I have no idea. We've had a few hints but nothing huge yet."
"What about you leaving before then? Going somewhere more sane? Doing something more sane?"
"I wouldn't know what to do with that. I've been doing all this stuff since tenth grade." He waved a hand around. "Patrol and all that."
"Tenth...excuse me?" he demanded quietly. Xander nodded. "You were seventeen when they sent you back."
"Yeah, I was." He nodded. "I graduated at seventeen, right before a battle. Which you didn't want to hear about."
"I thought you were talking about a minor gang thing, Xander."
"No, not around here. The only gangs we have are demon gangs. There's a demon biker gang."
Napoleon sighed. "Go slower. Let's talk about the stuff I didn't find?"
"Which was all on you." He stood up, going to get a drink from the fridge. "I have bottled water if you want one."
"Please." Xander tossed it to him, letting him catch it. "Thank you." He sipped and closed the bottle again. "So what exactly happened that day?"
Xander pulled up the file for him to view. "Sometimes I want to remember the ones we lost." He went to the bathroom and came back, making sure the door was closed again for Anya's privacy.
Napoleon stared at it, chewing on his top lip. "I would've asked for help for that too." He handed the phone back. "I'm sorry I thought it was something lesser. I would have helped."
Xander shrugged. "I realize you're not into handling this stuff, Napoleon. It's not your duty or your chosen destiny." He sat down in the chair this time. "I realize very well you weren't with that plot. Neither of us wanted this. And neither of us is happy with this."
"No, but it's not something we can cure."
"Which is why I ignore it most of the time."
"Which leaves us both feeling the other's proclivities and activities." He cleared his throat. "I can have you trained so you can join me in the field perhaps?"
"No thanks. That takes all that classy stuff." He waved a hand at him. "Suits and manners and all that higher end shit I don't really care about. Sorry but I'm a construction guy. I like manual labor. I like building things and getting sweaty from work. Not working out, but working itself. There's even days I don't mind patrol."
"It could make it easier on you, and you'd make a better paycheck."
"Eventually probably but I'd also never have a home. I need a home base. I need somewhere I can go to defrag from the day and not have to pretend to have manners. Your life isn't one I could stand to live in. Or waiting at home for someone in your style of life. That sucks even worse most of the time because you never know when someone's not coming home. I get plenty of that here."
"You can't do things less dangerously?"
"If I move." He stared at him then looked outside. "Get away from the window," he yelled. "Nosy ass!"
"The slayer wanted to know what's going on," the demon said.
Xander got up to open the window, staring at him. "She already knows. I told her that. She needs to butt the fuck out and go do slayer things instead of being nosy. And sending you endangered you. Which I don't want to do. You guys are peaceful and don't deserve that level of threat in your lives. Tell her to blow it out her horn the next time she tries to force you to do stuff like spy for her."
The demon smiled. "Thank you, Knight."
"Welcome. And tell her off, just be safely out of grabbing range. Hide behind Spike." He patted him. "Have a better night."
"You too." He looked in there. "Is that him?"
Xander stared. "Him who?"
"We heard of the Council's dirty things."
"Yeah. That's him. He keeps getting annoyed by me having fun with Anya. He wants me to suddenly have class and go be James Bond or something." He grinned. The demon giggled, running off to go tell others. "Don't tell her about that."
"We won't!"
"Thanks." He closed the window and came back, staring at him. "Even they know I'm a construction and manual labor guy." He sat down again.
"She talked him into spying for her?"
"Probably used a poker debt." He finished that soda. "Want more water?"
"No, thank you. That way I won't need to interrupt Anya soaking in the tub." He took another slow sip, thinking about all this. "What happens if you have to retire due to injury?"
"Then you'll probably be free." He stared at him. "Injuries happen but if you're that injured around here you're usually dead. Either the hospital will get you or the vampy vamps will." He shrugged. "Some day I may wake up dead. I've been lucky to survive this long. Really, I shouldn't have survived my first year. I had no idea what I was doing. Not like they trained me." He shrugged again. "But I managed it and helped and kept going."
"I can help you relocate to a better, safer town. You and Anya both. Somewhere without any supernatural activity or very little, a lot of construction work, so you'd be happier there. And safer."
"I had someone warp the spells on us so if one of us dies the other doesn't follow," Xander told him, staring at him. "So you're safe. It might hurt a bit but not for more than a minute unless I'm trapped somewhere. It shouldn't follow if I'm turned."
"That's a horrible thought to have, Xander. Very unhealthy."
Xander shook his head. "No, that's the reality I live in. Yours is a lot happier. I like that about you and for you. You deserve to live in happiness and more light than I see. Everyone deserves that and that's one thing I make sure happens for others. Like all our town's cases of 'I don't see that' we have. What I do means they get to keep that for however long they last."
"What if they'd want to know?"
"Have you been in an area that was so bogged down by problems that the people were just counting seconds to the next one?"
"Yes. War zones."
"Exactly. Do you want people to live like that all the time?"
"No." He stared at him. "But you don't have to either."
"If I'm not here, no one's going to take my place. The military was here but they were torturing the non-humans, and some humans with skills. They did shit so nasty even the goriest movie couldn't handle that sight. There was shit so nasty there I puked when I saw the film and I got stopped from going to hunt some of them down to kill them. We got talked into letting the system take their own problems down. I don't trust it'll stick and we've heard a lot of them went to the UN's new hunting squads. Or Homeland."
"If I find one, I'll gladly make sure they don't do it again. Do we have a name list?"
"Yeah." He went to get his file to show him. "That's what we pulled off their systems."
Napoleon sat down to read through it, grimacing. "That's disturbing," he agreed quietly, glancing up then going back to it. "I'm sharing this name list with others so we all know not to trust them." He looked up.
"Please. They don't deserve to be free people outside a maximum security prison."
"Good." He tucked the file into his jacket pocket. "How can I help you survive all this?"
Xander shrugged. "I'll leave when Buffy dies again or the town falls in. Or when I'm not needed because someone younger and not tired handles things. But we don't get people to fill in for us. There's no young guy who's going to realize it and jump in. If there is, I'll gladly share what I know and then hike off to retire somewhere prettier. Until then, I've got a duty. You have to go save the world your way. I have to do it mine."
"I understand that but I'm depressed just thinking about you dying before you reach twenty-five."
Xander snorted. "You think I'm going to make it ten years?" He smiled. "Thank you! That's actually a wonderful hope for me."
Napoleon stared at him. "I can help you move," he offered.
"Unless you're going to send good people here to handle it with Buffy?"
"No," he admitted. "If I had some I would." He shifted. "How can I help?"
"If you hear something let us know but otherwise, maybe show up for battles?" He shrugged. "No clue how you could."
"I get that. If I do hear things, I'll gladly tell you." He stood up to pat him on the shoulder. "I'm going to go drink away this depressing feeling in a hotel in LA."
"That's three hours away."
"I know. The nearest good one is about two and a half." He smirked. "You and Anya have fun. I'll call if I hear something. You'll email me if you hear something I should know?" Xander nodded. "Good. I'll check on you in a few months." He patted him again then left, going to swear to himself the whole drive back to his hotel. And to swear at Xander for daring to do that stuff. He understood why. He would've stepped in too. He'd probably be trapped the same way the boy was. It still sucked greatly!
Xander went to get Anya out of the tub. He needed cuddles tonight. It hurt to see Napoleon but it was best he knew the truth and about why Xander would probably die first.
***
Napoleon met with a few agents he knew in a café in LA, handing over the file he had gotten from Xander. "They're in the UN and Homeland." He sipped his coffee and took a bit of his muffin to butter and eat. "They don't deserve to be free."
"That good?" one asked. He read it and grimaced. "Oh, that's gross."
"That's barely any information. Looking it up, there's a lot worse and that's very mild. I wasn't even able to drink good scotch after looking them up." He stared at the other agents, who took that to look over. His partner took it too. "We really must do something about that sort before we're all looked at that way."
"I don't want to be seen that way," one agreed. He handed the information on. "In the FBI?"
"Six, all in the DC office so far." He handed over the name list with their current placements, smirking at him.
He read it over, nodding as he made note of the names. "We can stop that. Before we're all looked at the same way." He passed that on as well.
"If we find them out and about, we can inconvenience them," his partner agreed. "Perhaps in a concrete bunker underwater."
"Without an air tube," Napoleon agreed. "Also, something that should be noted. What do you know of Sunnydale?" The agents all grimaced at that name. "Thanks to the International Council of Watchers, one of their people happened into my path in a very...disturbing manner. He ended up being linked to me." His partner sighed but shook his head. "Harris is still stable enough, and alive, but there's a good chance it won't be long before that's changed."
"What happened?"
"The Council gave our boss something that linked us together," Napoleon said dryly. "They wanted him out of the way and used our boss to do that." He sipped the rest of his coffee. "So I'm a bit concerned about him. I'm rather forced to be as we're *linked*."
"Like life force linked?" one asked.
"No clue beyond the fact that I can feel it when his fiancee and he have fun."
The other agents all grimaced at that. "Those Council sorts have all sorts of bad rumors spread. Including reports of human trafficking."
"Which they are," Napoleon agreed. "They sold Xander to our boss so we could use him and he'd probably be discarded afterward. They've got a contract out on him too. There's also the slayers they've bought and stolen. Every single agency ignores it though." They all nodded. "What are we going to do if they go down?"
"Will they be?"
"Someday they will. Will it be this year? I don't know. Could be within a few years though. Their current girls aren't under their control. One's in jail, the other is Summers." The ones who knew about that team moaned. "So they're acting desperate."
That got a round of nods. "We can handle it when they do."
"Which could get a lot of those girls killed," his partner noted. "We should not wish them harmed."
"No, we don't," Napoleon agreed. "I'd like to save the girls from them. They're treated worse than some rumored Russian programs were." His partner grimaced but nodded. "So how do we do that?"
"Find the girls, get them into official hands?" one guessed.
"They're not only in the US. Do other countries have social services that would handle that?" Napoleon asked.
"Maybe not," one agreed. "They're Brits though. The UK should handle that. Do they know?"
"Of course. They're able to ignore it the same way we do." He waved his cup around then put it down. "How do we handle that?"
"Get them to the current team to watch over?" one offered. "Especially if there's a problem?"
That got a nod from the others. "That may be a good idea. How is Harris doing?"
"Prosaic but depressed. He thanked me for the hopes he lasts to his tenth anniversary of hunting." They all winced at that. "It's worse than we get in any agency. There's no one to take his place. I offered to help him move somewhere safer and he's right, no one will take his place." He ate another bite of muffin. "Do we have people we can suggest move there to help that problem area?"
"We have some who've went to Cleveland for the same sort of problem but it's much less. We're just happy Sunnydale's such a small town." That agent looked at him. "Can we make those idiots handle it?"
"Not without them torturing more of them. There's a great many who're peaceful and hiding. Do they deserve that?" They shook their heads. "Can we work on that then?" They all nodded. "Thank you. And let me know if you hear that Harris is having problems. I'd like to get him somewhere safer. If only so he quits being so tense."
"If he gets hurt, do you feel it?"
"To a degree but if he dies it won't kill me I'm told."
That got another mass nod. "We'll handle it," his partner assured him. "Even if we must kidnap them and have them moved."
"I've thought about that." He looked at his partner. "If I could do that, I would."
His partner smiled. "We are that devious. We can talk someone into doing that for us."
"With the way Xander attracts arms dealers, quite possibly." He smirked. "Harold found out about him and really does want to meet him." His partner moaned, looking disturbed. "Exactly. He's not the first however." He looked at the others. Who all grinned at him. "If you can...."
"If we can," one of them agreed with a nod.
"Thank you, gentlemen." The meeting broke up and they all got their own coffees to go back to their offices to make notes and plans.
Napoleon got a refill to finish his muffin with. His partner got more tea and it was quiet at least. For now. Though they did see the LA team fighting something and tried to ignore it.
***
Napoleon was not informed of a bigger battle. So of course he suspected one when his eye suddenly started to bleed and ache like hell. He groaned, holding it as he got up to go to their medical team to have it checked. It wasn't damaged but it was filled with blood and might take a few weeks to heal. He could still see out of it, slightly at the moment, but it hurt like anything.
His partner was already calling out there. Anya was confusing him. He took the phone. "Anya," he said quietly. "What happened to his eye?" He listened to her call that out. One of the slayers there told her. "Excuse me? Is that a new trainee? There's a what?" he demanded. "Why didn't he tell me? I could probably have helped them get out there."
"I did," his partner said, looking at him. "You're bleeding again." Napoleon blotted at his eye again. "We got other agents to help the girls get out there. I have no idea what happened but the Council was blown up and the girls are in danger."
Napoleon looked at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"You were recovering from that gunshot."
"Oh." He listened to what the slayers were telling her. "Is he all right? I know there's an eye injury," he said dryly. "I can have him gotten ...excuse me? There's a what coming up? He's too injured for that probably, Anya." Xander clearly walked in and made her hang up. "I'm going to paddle him," he noted. "I'm going to tie him to something and beat him to death."
His partner smiled at him. "Of course you will. What is going on?"
"They mentioned an upcoming battle."
"He's too injured for that if you're an indication."
"He made her hang up when she was telling me. He didn't want me to hear." He smirked. "We should probably head that way, just in case we can kidnap them to another town that has some sanity." He went back to the medical team to have them clear him for travel. Which they wouldn't. They were aware that the injury wasn't *his* and why, it was in a covert file that they had access to. He still wasn't allowed to fly for a few days. His partner called agents in LA about something bigger going on. It was all they could do until they could fly out to LA and Sunnydale.
***
Thanks to a prior mission getting in their way, they got there after the battle. Napoleon was standing off to the side of the memorial event, watching how the team was handling it. A lot of young women who were new slayers apparently, at least according to the gossip he had found. The memorial was brought to a close and they filed out. He caught Buffy's look, making her frown. He nodded at Xander. She nudged him and pointed.
Xander looked and sighed. He got the girls into the rental vans before walking over to stare at him. "What the hell?" he asked quietly.
"Huge battle."
"I would have helped."
"I doubt it would've been much help against the super vampires that had to be beheaded by the single mystical weapon we had so seven slayers could get to the altar." He stared at him.
Napoleon blinked a few times behind his sunglasses. "All right. That's fair, I could not have helped a lot in that situation. I could have helped you and Anya evacuate."
"We sent our stuff off with a POD," he said, glancing around then at him. "Anya decided to join the battle."
"I saw her picture up there, Xander. What is going on?"
"I have no idea," he admitted. He put his hands in his pockets. "I really don't. Right now, I have to go ride herd on the group of girls. Everyone else is in shock or depressed so the girls are testing boundaries. I'm about to go to a fighting ring to wear out the anger and stress. I'm going to cream Rosenburg for trying to steal stuff from me. Otherwise, not a damn clue, Napoleon."
"We can talk if it'll help. I don't think you're in shape for a fighting ring."
"Not really but it'll help. I'll learn how to compensate better that way anyway." He walked off. "Let me get back to the hotel with the girls. Find me later? After I'm calmer?"
"If I can."
Xander grinned. "I'll be at the Hyperion until I leave to find that fighting ring Wesley told me about." He got a cab and went back to the hotel. Napoleon followed with his partner driving. He still wasn't cleared for that yet. His eye was still filled with blood but getting better slowly. Xander's wasn't going to heal since it was missing. "I need to help him," he said quietly.
"Probably," his partner agreed.
"He wants to go wear out his stress and anger at a fighting ring."
"His eye is just as injured."
"It's missing, Illya."
"It is?" he demanded.
"Apparently by the bandage he had on. His eye socket is sunken in." He rubbed his forehead. "He went into a massive battle while still healing that. Anya went in with them and died. All the girls are apparently called. I can see why he's stressed."
"I can as well." He parked them near the hotel, letting them watch it. "How do we help him retire to somewhere more sane?"
"I doubt he will be. He had that same look of 'no one else is doing it' that he had the last time I saw him and offered to help him move." He shifted in his seat, getting comfortable. He could see the witch and the blonde arguing outside, hearing Xander's name mentioned. He saw the glances toward them and hit his partner on the arm, waking him from whatever spell. He got out, strolling over there.
"Miss Rosenburg, quit trying to bespell the ones who're here to save your behinds from the rest of the world," he said dryly. She glared. He stared back. "There's seven government agencies in the US alone, and at least three international ones, that want a report on what happened. I can impose on Xander to take it for most of them or I can let those agents pounce you and Miss Summers. Which would you prefer?"
"The Council sent you before," Buffy said.
"Slightly." He smirked. "I watch over Xander because someone in the Council displaced him right before your graduation to where I was on assignment to get him killed." She snorted. "You can ask him if you want." Xander strolled out at her text. "There's a wanted report." Xander handed over one, letting him read it over. "It's handwritten but has bad grammar, Xander."
"Sorry, Sunnydale had crappy schools." He looked at Buffy. "Yeah, someone in the Council had me displaced to his assignment to try to have me taken out. Thankfully this one is understanding after I ended his higher up for helping with that and helped me get back here. The day before grad." She looked confused. Willow was huffy.
"If some witch hadn't wanted me out of the way of grad, then they would've have been able to send me to his working area so I'd get taken out by a slaver or something. Instead, I solved some of that shit, I shot his boss for agreeing to use me with them, and then I got home. While avoiding him being disappointed at me for being a seventeen-year-old guy without class."
"I wasn't disappointed in that. I was disappointed in Waverly deciding that was the only way to handle that assignment," Napoleon said patiently. "You being an underclassed teenage boy was more expected. Most American boys aren't raised in boarding schools that teach manners."
"That can't be," Willow complained loudly.
"Wes?" Xander called. He came out grumbling. "Can you please inform the witch of what your former bosses did before grad?"
"They displaced him to the 60's, Willow," Wesley said patiently. "To have him killed back then. Which means no one would've completed those bombs for us." She shrank down at that. He looked at Napoleon. "Oh, you're *him*."
"I am. I'm gathering the report for the other agencies and helping Xander make future plans for what he's going to be doing while he heals." He looked at Xander. "I would've been here sooner but he made Anya not tell me what was going on when I called the night he lost his eye."
Xander shrugged. "It's not an area you could've helped with. If we had artillery on hand I would've asked you to show up to use it with us but guns were pointless in that one."
Wesley nodded. "Yes it would've been." He patted Xander on the shoulder, making him wince. "Still sore?"
"Yeah. It happens. Now if only something other than advil worked on me." He shrugged. He looked at Willow then at Buffy. "Get it out now, girls. His boss wanted me to pretend to be his owned boyfriend so he could get in to stop people like who got Shamira. I denied that urge by shooting him."
Buffy stared at him. "You hurt a human? Was he a human?"
"Yes, he was, and yes, Xander did what was necessary. Before I could, which did disappoint me a bit but if someone pulls him back I'll get him next time."
"But you can't hurt people," Willow ordered, glaring at Xander.
He looked confused. "Did it escape your notice that I took out the one that nearly kidnaped you in fifth grade? I did send the frayed cord into the puddle he was standing in after Jesse got you out of there." She shrank away from him. "We both lost our blood innocence saving you from that guy, Willow." He looked at Napoleon then at Wesley. "That fighting ring is a few blocks away?"
"Yes. Go right, go four blocks, go north to the arena then around back and downstairs of Mo's." He patted him on the shoulder again. "It's sometimes the only way to get stresses out of yourself."
"Yes it is since I'm not able to build something to do that same thing," Xander said dryly. "Hammering all day, very much the same level of getting it out." Buffy whined. He stared at her. "I used to make extra money for Anya with the one in Sunnydale. Not like they don't know me, Buffy." She whined louder. He looked at Napoleon again. "If they need more than that, ask Giles in a few days. He's in charge."
"I can tell them that. We can help you find a more suitable, safer way to relieve that stress, Xander. Maybe even watching over you while you get drunk."
"No, that's an accident waiting to happen when I'm this mad," he admitted. "That's a great way to get into a fight I don't want to get into. But thanks." He smirked.
"You don't drink!" Willow complained.
Xander stared at her. "Really? Would you like to ask the blonde next to you about that since she interrupted my last night of drinking because it was Jesse's death anniversary?" He waved a hand at her. "Or as Wesley about how drunk I was after graduation so I could get to sleep without the adrenaline responses I was fighting off?"
He waved a hand at him. "Either one can verify I do occasionally drink, Willow. I don't drink beer like they did, or the cheap scotch like they did, but every now and then it's necessary before I start to scream at people." She flinched away from him. He looked at Wesley, who nodded to back that up, cleaning his glasses off. He looked at Buffy again.
"You said the Council sent him to get you recruited elsewhere."
"The Council did decide to put me into his life so he was checking on me and he was trying to get me to move to a more sane location where I'd be safer," Xander said dryly. He shrugged but grinned. "He met Anya as well that trip."
"She was a very interesting woman," Napoleon said, smiling at Xander. "Very...blunt about what she was thinking and yet protective over what was hers at that time." He stared at Xander. "Why didn't you two marry?"
"D'Hoffryn, her former boss, had one of his other people step in to show me how miserable she'd be. I'd hate that for her."
Napoleon nodded. "You are noble beyond most people's understanding so I can see that." He patted him on the uninjured cheek. "Let's go feed you at least a crummy burger while we help you calm down. If that doesn't work, we'll take you to that fighting ring and let you wear out the stress."
"I guess." He looked at Wesley. "Tell Giles, Wes?"
"I can do that. Do be careful of that law firm."
Xander grinned. "Are they really evil enough to want to date me, Wes?"
"Yes, and more than that. They're fond of human sacrifices."
"Which I can't do for them," Xander said dryly. "With the mermaid taint, I'm not sure if I read human enough." Wesley gasped. Xander grinned. "Plus not really any innocences left for them to gather from. I've crossed the line for the major ones. Outside the dead fucking and animal fucking levels I'm safe from that."
"They can still use you to get the hellmouth taint, boy."
Xander smirked. "Maybe. Maybe not. That's kinda hard to get out of me. Even if I'm dying from black magic poisoning the succuba I went to suck it out of me had a horrible time." He walked off. "Let me get my wallet and stuff, Napoleon."
"That's fine, Xander." He looked at Wesley. "I'll hand over that report tonight. I'll also let them know to give Mr. Giles a few days of rest before they want to know anything else. I'm sure he's up to his eyeballs with teenage girl issues."
"Quite," Wesley said with a grin. "So you're the one...." Napoleon nodded. "Interesting. At least you could perhaps teach him to have some table manners?"
"We hardly ever eat together anywhere they'd be needed." Xander came back putting on a light jacket and checking his phone and wallet. "I'll buy you a crummy burger, Xander."
"I'm making sure I have cab fare in case your job calls you away suddenly." He looked at him then at the side where a van was. "Hey, Lawyers!" he called with a wave. They drove off quickly. "I need to go work on that problem. Cordy shouldn't have to mess up her nails." He walked off with Napoleon, nodding as he got into the back of the car. "Hey, Illya."
"Xander," he said with a nod. "Are you well?"
"No but I'll manage. I just need to get some stress out."
"Wrestling or chess?" he offered with a smile.
"Nah. Fight ring. Much easier. I'd be getting into a fight tonight somehow anyway. Better to make something from it." Napoleon looked at him. "I would."
"You don't have to."
"One of the ones who think I'm hot wanted to go out to dinner with me."
Napoleon blinked a few times. "Who?"
"Harold's second-in-command."
"No, please don't do that."
"I don't want to but will they kidnap?"
"That's a possibility," he sighed. "Burger, Illya. In and Out please?" He nodded, driving them off to find one. They could eat in the car and talk about things to help Xander calm down again. He still ended up in the fighting ring but he did okay.
Until someone rushed in to kidnap him and the kid took them out then looked confused. "What are you doing? You're not even demonic." He waved at the announcer, who shrugged. Then he looked at the vampires he was fighting. "If you guys live, have him. I have no idea who he is." They attacked him and Xander staked one then beat the other one into a pulp before walking over him.
He left the ring shaking his head, making some people laugh. He got his money and went back to get the minion's wallet contents. He walked out counting that, shaking his head. The others behind him cheered. "Hey, I can buy new jeans. And figure out where she sent our POD."
"I've called around and it's waiting in Pasadena in a storage facility. She had it moved to Texas by some cult but I had it moved back." Xander gave him a one-armed hug as they left together. Of course, the minion's boss was waiting on them. Xander shook his head with a sigh. Napoleon cleared his throat. "Must we do this right now, gentlemen?"
Xander looked at him then at the morons. "Guys, I'm still tense and grieving. Do you really think this is the best time for this?" They laughed so he pulled something off his watch band and let it grow in his hand. "C'mon then." They stared and all backed up. He looked back. "Not here for you, Homer. Glad to see you made it out though." He shook his hand.
"Not a problem, Xander. That minion you defeated?" Xander shrugged, then waved a hand. "Interesting. Did they want his body back?" The head guy shook his head slowly. "Good. He'll make someone a good post-battle snack." He clapped Xander on the back, making him stumble. "Sorry, Knight."
"It happens a lot. I've lost some weight thanks to the girls never leaving me food." The demon laughed as he went back inside. Xander looked at the head guy. "Can't you wait until I figure out where I'm ending up?"
"I just wanted to meet you, Harris. You have some of the stuff we've put out over the last few years. Why?"
"Sunnydale," he said with a point toward the former town. "The thing that sank it was bigger than usual but we had to have stuff sometimes, dude. Homer's nice and peaceful but his people aren't and there was a lot there who were worse and not peaceful to the degree of evil. So yeah, thanks for dealing with people I could win some of that from, dude." He grinned. "Very kind of you."
The upper level bad guy stared at him oddly. "Why would you?"
Homer looked out. "Lentasha is here."
Xander blinked at him. "Don't threaten me with that stalker!" he complained quietly. "I'm still grieving Anya's loss."
"I know but she could help. She could use more minions."
"I guess. If she wants them as minions I can't stop her. Not even the slayers could." Homer smiled and let that demon out to handle the problem. She was only seven feet tall but she had an aura that showed great evil and magic. Illya made a face when he saw her appear like he recognized her. Napoleon was adjusting his cuffs and looking away. Xander grinned and waved. "Lentasha, have some fun, dear. I've got to go back to the girls to ride herd." He sighed. "Any idea where we're setting up yet?"
"Well, the next hellmouth open is Cleveland." She grinned. "I could save you all that."
"I've got to get stuff straightened out and mourn Anya, dear. Ask me in a year?"
"Fine." She sighed. "Even though you could die from the next thing Wolfram and Hart has planned here in town. I'm told the invasion will be *wonderful*." She smiled.
Xander nodded. "I'm sure it will be. I'll be getting more stuff from guys like him probably." He shook his head. "Thanks for the hint, dear." He hopped up to kiss her on the cheek then walked off. "Have a good night."
"You too, Xander." She smiled at Napoleon. "I can tell, dear. He's sweet."
"He's very tough."
"Well, yes. But a lot of stewing would solve that. Emotionally as well." She patted him on the cheek. "Be a good boy, Solo."
"I do try, ma'am." He walked off following Xander, denying the urge he had to run away and hide. Illya followed. Xander was by the car putting the sword back on his watchband. "Well."
Xander grinned at him. "Yeah, she's okay. Pretty nice but made Anya *so* mad by flirting in front of her once."
Napoleon got them into the car, just nodding for now. "That sounded like you have real weapons, Xander. Where are they?"
"In my personal POD that's in San Diego? It should be there. That's where I rented to put them." Napoleon turned to stare at him. Xander shrugged. "Sometimes we need them."
"I realize that. Now you shouldn't."
"Bullshit. If there's an open hellmouth in Cleveland we'll need more than we have. That's a real city."
"Point." He sighed. "We'll take you to tell the others that then we'll go back to our hotel and maybe help you calm down to make plans."
"I think I want to find the girls that didn't make it here but survived."
"That'll be a trip," Napoleon said dryly. "But it might be soothing." He let Illya drive them back to the Hyperion. He went in with Xander to make sure the girls didn't suck him in.
"Watcher guys and Buffy and Faith," he bellowed. "Meeting!" A few came out of the kitchen and then the upstairs group came down without Buffy. "I saw Lentasha, Giles." He shuddered. "She said the next thing Wolfram and Hart will be doing here in town is *wonderful* and an invasion."
"Excuse me?" Wesley demanded. "Lentasha? The hell goddess Lentasha?"
"Yeah. She flirted now and then," Faith said. "I saw her doing it last week." She looked at him. "Here?"
"Somewhere here. I don't know when but hey, spring's pretty here in beautiful LA too," he said sarcastically. "I don't think it's this year though."
She blinked a few times. Then she walked off swearing in Gaelic. "Sure," she said with a wave.
"She also said the next open hellmouth is in Cleveland."
"Which is a city," Wesley said dryly. "Someone have the coven determine where it is in the city?" he ordered. A few of the lesser watchers called that in. "Do you feel better, Xander?"
"Mostly. I almost got pounced by a minion of all things. Lentasha came out to take his boss, who is in arms dealing, in as a new minion." Wesley patted him with a grin. "Homer offered." He looked at Giles. "I think I want to find the girls that didn't make it to us. It'll give me time to think and them time to calm down." He looked up at the yelling. "BUFFY!" She came running down the stairs. "Saw Lentasha." She winced at that, leaning on the railing. "Sometime soon LA is going to have a demon invasion and the next hellmouth is in Cleveland."
"Like where they put the Rock hall of fame?" she asked. He nodded. "Why?"
"How do I know where the universe gets a stretch mark?" he countered.
"Okay. Yeah. Frick!" She went up to tell the other older girls.
Angel came back from calling around. "The invasion isn't *soon* but it's a spring problem," he told them.
Xander looked at Giles. "If I have weapons then I'll donate."
"Please do," he agreed, staring at him. Then at Napoleon, who shrugged. "Who are you, sir?"
"He's the one the Council sent me to," Xander said dryly. Giles moaned and shuddered but nodded. "He's horrified weapons people like me," he said with a grin.
"Lad, all the evil ones like you," Wesley said dryly. "That hasn't been cured yet. If we weeded out the hellmouth taint would that help?" he asked Giles, who shook his head.
"It's really hard to do that. When I had to ask some succuba to suck out the black magic I got hit with, they had a lot of trouble sucking that or the hellmouth taint out. I usually let them weed it down when it gets too high. The more I have, the harder it is to get out."
Wesley blinked. "That's actually an excellent idea. Succuba could do that and not get down to your personal energy."
"Oh, no, they can't eat me." He grinned. "I'm a bit too inhuman for that thanks to the mermaid taint, Wes."
Wesley blinked then nodded. "You're a mess, Xander."
"I do try," he quipped with a smirk. "It makes my life interesting."
"Too interesting," Giles said. He stared at him. "Go hang out with your...friend. See if he can help you grieve a bit more. We'll talk about where to send you to start looking for girls that survived but didn't make it to Sunnydale." Xander nodded, going with Napoleon. He looked at the other watchers, who were all upset looking. "Did whoever have that plan die in the explosion?"
"With one of the baby slayers," one admitted. "Thankfully. Isn't he a spy?"
Giles nodded. "By how he stands, yes. Probably." They all groaned. "At least Xander is rather protected by him tonight apparently. What do we know of this invasion, Angel?"
"Upcoming. Black Thorn. That's all I've heard so far."
"We can all ask our contacts," Faith said as she stomped back. "Is the bad mental images source gone?" Giles nodded but sighed. "Good. He could use the sexy times."
"I doubt they are," Giles admitted. "I'm not sure if Xander could be bisexual."
She shrugged. "Does that really matter?"
"Not really at the moment. I hope he helps ease his temper. The boy could use some." He looked at the others, who all still looked depressed. "Yes, which is how he's survived all the plots, the plans, and everything else around us," he said dryly. "The boy is most exceptional."
"Why does he have mermaid taint?" one asked.
"The Sunnydale high school swim coach had trapped one to infect his team so they'd finally win," Giles said. "Xander joined the team to see why so many of them turned into cannibalistic monsters. So he got a bit tainted. We detoxed it, changed all his blood, but he has some minor chromosome changes apparently. The demonic can sometimes feel it."
They all just nodded at that.
"Yeah, it's an only Xander way," Faith said dryly. "Like King Hairgel here tried to give him to Spike once as a diversion." Angel winced at that. "Thankfully, Spike's gone so he can't torment Xander into staking him anymore." Buffy groaned about that as she came back down the stairs. "What else did Xander get into?"
"Shape changing teachers, the mummy he almost dated? Cordelia?"
Wesley smiled. "The boy is very unique and I can really only blame that on the hellmouth taint. It seems to adore him for some reason."
"Yeah, it does," Buffy agreed. "He had to go out of town for a few days for work and the thing acted up until about ten minutes after he got back but we never told him about that." Giles sighed, looking up. "It did."
"We could not determine if it was about him or not, Buffy. Only Willow thought that and she was having problems that could have made it act up at that time." He looked at the others. "Xander is very loyal and unique but a great help to us most of the time. Even when he has not a clue what he's doing he's still there doing something he has to." They all nodded. "Buffy did die and he brought her back with CPR, which got us Faith after Kendra."
Buffy nodded. "He did."
The other watchers groaned and took Wesley to talk about that boy being considered one of them. Which he was, Giles insisted he was. They could argue about that but the boy being out and about would be better for the mass of slayers so he didn't teach them things.
***
Napoleon watched as Xander got himself free of the woman in the hotel lobby, taking him off to Illya to escort him upstairs. Illya smiled at the boy, who grinned back. Napoleon went to talk to that woman, who he knew. She knew who he was as well. He stared at her. "Do leave Xander alone," he said quietly, smiling at her. "He's just lost his former fiancee a few days back."
"That's sad. What did Anya die of?"
"The battle that sank his whole town."
"Oh. That thing." She nodded. "Do you think he'd like dinner tomorrow?"
"They're deciding where he's going to be doing his duty to the Council tomorrow. It'll probably be a few weeks."
"Fine." She waved a hand. "Have fun with him."
"Not that way I don't. It's not really my methods." She looked him over but smirked and walked off. He sent a note to someone and that he had a report about what happened in Sunnydale, he'd send it with Illya tomorrow. He went up to their suite and Illya let him in. Xander was on the couch sulking. "She's not a good agent, Xander. She's actually a very poor one and poor in other things like in the bedroom." He got Xander and himself a drink, sitting down once he had his. "Sit, relax. Calm down?"
"I'm trying. Just pouty." He sipped it and stared at it. "What is that?"
"Rum. I figured you'd want something sweeter."
"That's nicely sweet. Thank you." He sipped again, nodding. "For some reason I feel magic and I don't know why." He looked up then texted Wesley, who he didn't get to see go rushing up to stop Willow and yell at her until she cried and gave up on magic for the night. "Huh." He put his phone down where it could be seen by all of them and went back to sipping that nicely sweet stuff.
Illya settled in to watch over them in case more dirty agents showed up. Or arms dealers. Or higher level demons.
***
Illya walked up to the front desk of an agency. "Is Agent Epps in please? I have a report from our agency to his." She paged him and he came down, staring at him. "Napoleon has a slight hangover," he said, handing over the report. "Xander has a worse one. Napoleon fed him rum."
"Interesting to know. I got his notification last night." He read it over, grimacing. "What?"
"The one I took from him last night while he was drunk." He handed that over. Epps read that and didn't look any more pleased. "They're grieving right now. There was a memorial yesterday."
"That's fine. We can wait to ask about things."
"The next place they'll be is apparently Cleveland." Epps stared at him, shaking his head. "Just like that town. Only bigger."
"Hell no."
"Also, we heard about an invasion here."
"I want to know more about that as well."
"Give them a few days?"
"I can try that. Any other good news?"
"The boy nearly got taken by Heinrich Silds."
Epps looked that name up then let out a bitter sounding laugh. "Why?"
"Apparently the boy knows something about weapons." He smirked at the angry young agent. "Someone probably had to up there."
"Probably." He looked up. "I'll go talk to them in three days. I want Harris there as well." Illya nodded. "Thank you for handing this over for your partner. When is he going to show his age?"
"Perhaps when Xander catches up to him?"
"I'll ask about that later." He went back to his desk, having a slight fit in the elevator. Illya heard the start of it and was amused but it happened. He wanted to do the same thing. He went back to the hotel, watching Xander and Napoleon fuss at each other for now. Xander was insisting he had to go help the girls with morning sparring. Napoleon said he didn't have to.
Xander answered how poor the others were with that. It ended up being that they followed. Napoleon got sucked in with Illya helping a few of the younger girls learn how to defend themselves from men with evil in their minds.
The others watched and hated that the boy was good at that. And motivating the girls. If they won the later free-for-all they got to pick on Buffy when they followed her around grocery shopping later. The minis would enjoy that.
Napoleon got to be dismayed at his how his bonded mate handled things but it could be worse he guessed. Perhaps. Though he really did want that boy to find a regular life so they both quit getting into trouble that way.
The End?
Story notes:
Man From UNCLE movieverse crossover.