A Queen of Losers is Born, Not Created.
There was always at least one Losers team in every military in every culture, in every time. Everyone has a team full of people that were expected to not survive doing the worst things and they had been picked because no one believed in them. In the US military there had been one among the army since the 1800's when the term Loser was coined. Shortly after it came into wide usage the team got their official name.
Each team's version had a leader, had their people, the ones they trusted. When one was about to retire or die off, they found a successor to train in the ways, the lores, of being a Loser. Of running the team that must win even though they're not expected to and not encouraged to.
Sometimes it was an heir, sometimes it was the next generation coming in and the team's leader found a version of himself to train so he'd understand what was coming. How to make his own team of Losers. How to train them, how to make sure they were his people. Or her people in a few cases. How to make sure they were *family* above all else.
Now and then one would turn on the others, and that happened. People got scared, got stupid, got hammered, got hurt, and they turned sometimes. When it happened, the Losers handled their own. Because it was their people and their family and they had to.
But sometimes, just randomly, the universe made the next incarnation start with the child of a Loser. One who was brought up by the prior generation. Or generations if some of the older existed and kept in touch. They knew and they understood why it was so important. Not that they ever set out to have children for the most part, that was dangerous in their lives. But sometimes, the universe burps and a child Loser shows up.
So when one was born the universe looked and realized that the British version of the team wasn't going to be able to mentor her. And it was a girl this time, which made the universe happy enough. The females were strong and solid, but not as violent. They could kill but wouldn't leave a lake of blood unless they had to. The males...sometimes they wanted to and couldn't and sometimes they had to but some of the versions of the team had enjoyed it too much.
And the universe realized that one rising now was a Sign. A sign of things to come so they looked to see why. Why was always important.
The British one couldn't train this one. Her mother was normal, she just had a college fling. Well, her stepfather had been there so they had a great fun weekend actually. But they weren't military. Had no idea about any military things.
The daughter would learn though. The mother did the right thing, telling the father. Who admitted he'd be a shit parent but he'd at least be an uncle, a fond uncle. Which was fine with Dan and Emma Jean Granger. They doted on their daughter that they hadn't meant to have.
She was brought up to have expectations of doing her best. Of doing something good for people. Of using her brain instead of her body to do things. Her 'uncle' had taught her many lessons in the few times he saw her. Because he realized. He had seen the signs. She was a Loser too. The next generation of them. Which scared him but he'd handle her if he had to.
She would be one of the Losers talked about by the later generations. The last Queen Loser had been ages ago during the last World War. She had kicked ass, taken no names, taken no shit, and had freed places. She had freed people with her chosen team. Not a Losers team but strays she had picked up here and there from various units.
The actual Losers team at that time, they had known her. They had appreciated her. They had backed each other up on occasion. And they told Clay about her when one of them knew he'd be the next Loser team commander. The ones in the military were failing hard, they were weaker. They hadn't gotten high enough to do much of it, but the old timers, they had seen, they had helped train Clay into who he'd become.
And when Clay told the last few remaining ones about his daughter, they cheered him up about it. They could send her lessons if she'd listen. If she was one of them she'd want to learn their ways too. Clay admitted she was street smart, he had made sure of it, and she was a brainy little cherub with curly hair who looked so innocent yet ...he'd seen her take out a bully with a trash can without the teacher realizing it. She hid her Losers side very well.
Yes, she'd be the newest Queen Loser. And her family, she'd gather them. Somehow. Some way. Even if she did hide her schooling from them due to that weird magic stuff that they knew about but would never admit to her that they knew so she didn't freak out. She was a bit panicky still due to her age. She'd grow out of it. They were sure she would.
They'd just mourn her when war brought her to her full Queen state and the innocence fell.
***
Hermione was on the train when a young boy came up to her looking for his toad. Which was funny and she felt something nice from him. She grinned, getting up to help him with that need. It was a nice need, his pet might get hurt or even killed. She did like pets. She didn't have one, but she did like them.
This one felt like what her Uncle William had told her about. So that was interesting. She'd run into a few others on the train. And a few that made her want to sneer and hiss at them. But that was true of any group of school kids most of the time. Bullies happened. Her Uncle Valoric had called them training targets. Which she could agree with when they made themselves into one.
Time moved on, and her family started to come together. A funny one, or at least he tried often. A hurt one, oh so hurt, and she'd help him because he needed her help. He needed their family. Like her uncles had told her about. Her Uncle Jake had explained how he had met the others when she had asked so she had given him a hug and helped him tell his niece he was okay.
She didn't believe him, she was a Jensen and they were the purveyor of much bullshit in the world so she knew a lie when she heard it but at least he tried. Hermione had made him feel happier at least. Pooch had rolled his eyes but she had nagged him about finding a wife finally since he was one of those breeder sorts and wanted kids. She didn't want kids, but he wanted a wife and kids.
Which sounded very *normal* for a Loser but sure, if that was his dream. Hers was living in a grand library some day. She might get there the same as Pooch might have a wife and kids. Someday she'd teach his kid how to do some things if he wanted. He didn't but he thought it was nice of her to offer.
Uncle Roque had laughed about her being able to teach the kids anything they couldn't. She looked right at him and reminded him no one'd let him babysit a kid. Not after he had let her play with his knives and taught her to how to clean his sidearm. Which had cracked her dad/uncle up. Uncle Jake had giggled into her hair while giving her a hug. No, he wouldn't let Roque babysit anyone either.
So Hermione was gathering her own family, her own team. A funny one, one that had needs and needed the family around them to help them. Though that one had a Destiny. Which she didn't like but she got involved because he was her family and he needed her to. Which drove her nuts. Now she understood what her dad/uncle had meant! She'd write him to tell him about Harry, Ron, Neville, and the rest.
That got her candy from the Pooch, two books from Uncle Jake on how to handle friends when you were super bright, Uncle Cougar had sent her a book on how to tell jokes to help her deal with Ron. She'd let him read it so he got better at it. Daddy/Uncle Clay sent her a warning about not getting involved at her age. Too late but okay. Yay!
Uncle Roque had sent her a combat knife. He did prefer practical gifts. Thankfully she remembered how to take care of them and how to sharpen them. After her first year, during the summer, she called Clay to talk to him once her parents had left for the dental practice for a few hours. Her mother might have the house bugged but probably not with a tape recorder. She had checked and not found one.
She did the protection spell she had found in the library so no one could eavesdrop, but she did it without using her wand, then called. "Hey, Uncle Clay," she quipped. "Do you wanna hear how I helped the chosen hero sort here save the school this year?" She grinned at his choking. "Because either I rant at you or I have to tell Mum and have therapy. I don't know which is worse with the way you'll rant...." She smiled at him assuring her he could listen if she needed to talk.
She told him everything. Every little tidbit about the friends, the ghoul, the teachers being bitches to her, everything. Including that they made her wear a skirt, which she did hate really a lot. He reminded her he could wear a suit to fit in, she could wear a skirt. And Roque yelled to remember to put on a knife in a thigh holster under it. Which got Clay slapping him. She giggled at that.
The others took over to talk to her about stuff too. They were camping, so on a mission, and had needed some happier news. Though Clay did warn her not to keep getting involved. That was very dangerous at her age. She was too young and there had to be adults around. It was a school, there were teachers.
She snorted and reminded him that the teachers didn't do anything. Plus that one had been the problem. Pooch gave her some advice on how to handle the dorm stuff easier so the girls quit annoying her. Including that she should get a pet because the girls would appreciate that.
She considered it and it was a nice thing. She'd like something nice to pet while reading. So yup, she could do that. She thanked them and wished them well on their current mission then hung up and went to find the family's computer so she could look up pet adoption to know what she had to do. She'd talk her mother into it later. Her mother had said next year but this year might be good.
She nicely sent the team and the older uncles that were some of her favorite a picture of her and her new cat Crookshanks. That got some laughs from Sarge but Valoric said he'd be a good pet, a warm heart when she needed one. Her Dad/Uncle Clay just smiled at it and made sure he had a copy printed to put in his stored stuff so it wasn't lost or used against them.
***
Hermione showed up after her second summer at her Uncle Pooch's house, unexpectedly. She knocked and smiled at the woman there. "Hi, Auntie Jolene!"
"Hermione?" she demanded. She had met the girl at their wedding a few months earlier.
"Yup!" She nodded with a smile. "I came to get some sense talked into me. Because I accidentally complained to my mum about how bad the damn school was."
"No swearing at your age, young lady."
"I spent four months frozen, paralyzed, in the infirmary and they had the cure for months before I got hit. They deserve more than a little bitty damn. But Mom got told. Accidentally and made me tell her the rest, and she's really angry. Like was going to take my knife that Uncle Roque got me and was going to use it on my headmaster so she sent me to Uncle Clay for a few weeks if it's okay." She smiled at her. "And my cat."
Jolene blinked. "They're out on a mission, sweetheart." She let her into the house. "Also, Clay's back in base dorms. So are most of the rest. Only Carlos isn't. He's at a residence motel." She stared at her. Then at the cat that appeared. "Do I want to ask?"
"I'm not suppose to tell. It's an international secret." She grinned and put her wand into her bag. Then grinned again.
"Okay. I...didn't see that then. Hello, Crookshanks," she cooed, letting the cat out to pet him. He made happy noises at that.
Hermione wandlessly sent his litterbox into an open closet and put down his bed and a few toys. That helped her cat feel better and she was calmer. Jolene had sense! She could impart some into her so she had it too. Before she grabbed her Uncles' weapons and went to fix that damn school. She sat down beside her aunt, getting a hug. "Did they tell you about last year?"
"No, not a bit, sweetie. What happened last year? Or the first year. I can listen so you can vent. Even if you do get a bit swear-happy like Jensen does."
Hermione did the protection spells then told her everything. Down to setting Snape on fire to save Harry and other problems. And that she had wanted to adopt Fluffy but her parents had refused. Jolene knew she'd be a good mom some year, she listened. She got really mad, but she listened. Hermione sighed, looking up at her. "And next year is another year of probably the same problems. Maybe." She grimaced. "Do you think if I asked, Uncle Jake could come teach defense instead?"
"I think he'd have to, Clay certainly couldn't," she admitted, considering it. "Carlos would lose his mind over the teenage girls trying to flirt."
"They'd just knock him down, not flirt. The older girls tried that with Lockhart too. Which...I have no idea why I thought he was hot."
"That's girl hormone things, sweetie." She gave her a cuddle. "Your mom doesn't know anything but that you were frozen by that thing?"
"No. Because if I told her, I'd be in a hospital setting right now. With really long sleeves and some nice drugs that'll give me pretty colors to chat with." She looked up at her. "The urge exists to steal Uncle Roque's weapons and go fix that shit."
"Yeah, it does in me now too," she agreed with a nod. "Oh, damn it."
"Exactly!" She took her cat back to pet. "Uncle Valoric said that Crooky would be a warm heart I could shelter in at times. Apparently he did sit on the foot of my bed the whole time I was frozen." She smiled at her cat. "We love you too, Crooky." He yawned and let her cuddle. He was a patient cat. He could get free in a bit. She looked at Jolene. "How do I even handle that without grabbing something?"
"We can figure that out. Jake probably has a few ideas. Might not be good ones, but he'd probably have some ideas." Hermione grinned at that. "I'll let the boys know you're here so they don't come in with a hangover." She got up and paused. "Why didn't you call from the airport?"
"Who said I flew?"
She blinked. "What?"
"Ministry to ministry transport and then they got me to the city. So I hiked after looking up a map last night."
She sighed. "That's dangerous."
"The local office is up the street by ten blocks," she said with a point.
"Oh. I didn't know that." She went to call Hermione's parents to let them know she was safely there. With the cat. Which made her mother happy because she was slightly allergic to the cat. Then she called Carlos' number. No answer. She called Pooch's number, he always answered for her unless it was during a fight.
No answer but a few minutes later someone else called her. "Hello?" She listened to the officer say she had called a phone in evidence. "Did my husband get arrested for a bar fight again?" she demanded. "I'm going to whip his ass! And Roque's too probably for starting it!" The officer spluttered but assured her it had been a bar fight but he wasn't injured.
"Uh-huh. Are you a local officer or not? So I can come talk to my spouse? With our niece who just showed up." He admitted they were. "I'll be there in twenty minutes. I expect they probably have bail by now? Oh, no, they won't need the MP's, dear. They know that." She hung up. Hermione got up and grabbed her jacket to put back on. "I shouldn't bring you."
"Well, I can shock Uncle Clay greatly into not complaining." She smiled. "I can help. I'm very good at helping."
"I'm sure you are but your mother would freak out."
"She didn't when I talked to someone on our school trip to the jail to show how they worked. The teacher did but Mum just sighed and said I was too friendly."
"Probably, yeah." She took her with her to the car to go get the guys out of jail. Again. It wasn't far and they did beat the MP's there. She walked in with Hermione beside her, staring at the desk sergeant, who knew her. He grinned. "Where are they now?" she demanded. "Oh, this is the team's niece."
Hermione smiled and waved. "I showed up to learn how to not beat the living fuck out of my headmaster for doing things that could harm students!" she said cheerfully. "We had three kids hurt and they didn't even stop classes!"
The officer looked at her. "You sound British."
"I am." She smiled and nodded.
"Oh. A normal school like we have?"
"Oh heck no! It's a boarding school! We had kids being attacked and paralyzed for months and they had the antidote there on hand." She waved a hand with a smile. "I need Uncle Roque to remind me I'm a nice young woman with good prospects."
He nodded. "You probably do." He let them go find the men. Hermione found the cell they were in first. Jolene was talking about the charges they were under this time. She walked up to the bars casually, staring at the man looking up the hallway. "Well, this is nicer than ours, but a bit more crowded. I hope the ones where I am are this nice when I decide to fix my idiot school." She smiled at them.
Carlos stared down at her. "Why are you here in the US?" he asked quietly.
She shrugged but smiled. "I accidentally told Mum about being paralyzed for four months. I let something slip and she made me tell her the rest. She sent me so you and Uncle Roque could remind me I'm a nice little girl who has good college prospects. Before I grab a knife and go after my headmaster."
He nodded, looking at Clay, who sighed but came over. "You are a nice kid, Hermione. You can't do that."
"I might have to ambush him but the fuck I can't," she told him quietly. "Really. And can I borrow Uncle Jake to come teach defense classes?"
He blinked a few times. "I don't think he could."
"I think he could. The last one did memory things to the students."
He winced. "I want to hear the whole story before I lend you Jensen," he ordered.
She smiled. "Auntie Jolene let me vent earlier. It was very sweet of her."
"It was," he agreed with a nod. "How are you in the US?"
"Our ministry sent me?" She grinned. "And Crooky of course. He kept trying to eat a kid's pet rat."
He nodded. "Well, he's a cat so that's expected I guess," he admitted, staring at her. "Paralyzed?"
"For four months! And they had the antidote months before then! They didn't even cancel classes, Uncle Clay! They just locked us in our dorms at night and all the attacks were during the day."
"Yeah, maybe you can have Jensen go teach defense classes," he decided.
"I'll lend you another knife," Roque assured her.
She smiled. "Thanks!" She looked at her dad/uncle. "I accidentally sounded bitter when I told Mum I couldn't tell her about the spring stuff because I wasn't there. So she demanded to know what I had gotten punished for. She and Dad pressured me into telling them. In the car. Mum had to get out and walk a few blocks before we picked her back up."
He nodded. "I'd have vented."
"I'm supposed to be girlish and not do that."
"Fuck that shit," Jensen said with a grin for her. "You just vent away, sweetie, and yeah, if I can clear it, I'll come teach defense." He smirked. "Including self defense."
She nodded. "Could help! I'd suggest someone else but they'd probably be pounced by some of the older girls and not put up with things like the bigots. Uncle Pooch against Draco Malfoy? Yeah, I'd love to see that but .... That'd be unfair of me."
Jolene walked up to them, patting her on the shoulder. "Oh, if he's that sort of bigot, we can talk to the boy," she assured her. "I can definitely do that."
"He's not a skin color bigot at least."
"That's good." She smiled at the boys. Then at her husband. "You did what?" she demanded. He flinched back with a wince.
"The other team was trying to pick on us and make us out as gay so the other soldiers in the bar would kick us around," Jake told her. "So we proved we weren't and then beat their asses."
"Awww. Just poison their beers," Hermione said. "Really hard to sneer when you're puking your guts up thanks to frog juice." She smiled.
"If I had frog juice I might have," he told her. "I didn't have any."
"I can help you find some. All it takes is a little vial. Ron licked some off his hand one day in class and got righteously sick." She grinned. He stared at her. She shrugged. "He's a friend but I still wanted to kick his bum a few times this last year."
"We can go over how you do that too," Jake said with a grin. "A girl's gotta be able to protect herself."
She nodded. "Yes I should. Because the classes were good but were 'bite them back and kick them in the nuts then scream'. That won't work at school."
Clay stared at her. "We'll talk when we get out of here, kid."
"Yes, Uncle Clay." She smiled sweetly at him. Which he knew was a lie. He could do the same thing at her age to cover up being a bit extreme in his anger.
"How did you turn into your uncle?" Pooch demanded, staring at Clay. "I've seen you do that same thing."
Hermione looked at him. "Apparently there was a really fun party one night," she said dryly. "So it was by osmosis. According to Mum, she must've gotten it through sweat contact." Clay winced. She shrugged. "I'm fine with it. Not like I haven't known." She grinned. "You're still my uncle. I'm not going to make you pay for my book buying before school."
"You don't have a library?" Pooch asked dryly.
"They don't have any fun reading. There's none unless we bring some."
"What about tv?" Jake asked.
"There's no bloody electricity in the whole damn school!" she said, staring at him. "At all! I can't even use a hairdryer."
He winced. "With your hair that's gotta suck."
"Yes, it does. I look like a hot mess most of the time." She shrugged. "I really do." Jolene patted her again. She calmed herself down.
"Why don't they have electric?" Clay asked. She shrugged. "Oh, that reason."
"It's....long story and I should not vent here, Uncle Clay."
"Point. We good?" he asked Jolene.
"This time." She stared at him. "Quit getting Pooch into this sorta thing, Clay. Before I kick your ass."
"I'd let you," he offered. She huffed but the officer let them out so they could go home. They saw someone trying to talk to Hermione while she waited by the car and they signed paperwork. Clay strolled out to talk to that guy. "So, you're talking to my *niece*," he said dryly. "Why?"
"Um...." He stared at him. "Official questions since she's clearly foreign."
"Yes, I'm British, ooh," Hermione said blandly. "They know. Do quit worrying about it, Mr. Auror." She smiled at him. "Okay?"
"It is against the law," he told her. "We may have to erase things."
"Or that won't work on us," Jake said with a smirk. "At all!" He stared at the auror. "So, how's that going for you guys anyway?" The guy stared at him oddly. Jake smirked. "My sister went."
"Oh." He nodded once. "She still shouldn't have told you."
"We saw it happen," Clay told him. "So butt out. Before we have to get mad."
"The military shouldn't know."
Hermione waved a hand, drawing his attention. "Either I get strategies from them on how to handle our messed up problem of Hogwarts or I'm going to burn it down." She smiled. "One of the two. They're calming me down. Got it?"
"I can't accept that."
"Dear," she said dryly. Then she sighed. "It's interesting that ours over there are so lax that they allow and even slightly encourage child abuse and you guys are so uptight that me talking to my relatives is wrong. But I won't accept such interference and I will win."
"I'm fully trained."
She hexed his asshole, making him yelp and try to grab it. "Is that really polite to do around kids?" she asked with that same smile. "Are you certain you want to do that move in front of a police station? Near a military base?" She smiled. He shook his head and stomped off.
She waved at his back. "Have a better day! I know I can be trying at times. All my teachers have said so." She got in when Jolene unlocked the door, letting the guys pile on with them in the minivan. She cuddled Carlos' side. He was a fun uncle. "I need to know how to help Harry too."
"We can talk about all that," Jake assured her. "Before I go adopt a kid. Or have my sister adopt a kid."
Clay looked at him. "Your sister would scream."
"Not if she heard about what happened to him."
Hermione nodded. "A lot."
Jolene sighed. "I want to go kick them around." She started the car and drove off. She never let Pooch drive but the rest of the team did. Unless it was just them in the car, she drove her own car. They got back to her house and the cat that was now taking up the middle of the couch. She stared at it. "How do you take up so much room for being such a small ball of orange fur?" Hermione giggled, picking up her cat to pet so the others could sit.
Clay stared at the cat. "You're good for her. Thank you." He yawned at him then blinked a few times before patting him on the wrist. He petted the ears. Then he sat down. "Okay, lay it on us, kid." She checked the protections then told them everything she had told Jolene. Clay blinked. "You did it without swearing. I'm impressed."
"Me too because I can't not swear now," Jake complained. "Wow." He looked at Clay. "Can I go on leave?"
"Maybe. Not sure. If so it might be a good team vacation trip." He looked smugly at Hermione. "You better?"
"No! I have four more years of this! Well, five more years of this as of right now. I'd like to survive school. Make it to college. I really would."
He nodded. "I want to see you do that." Pooch was watching outside and clearly saw someone. Hermione stood up and got the door, staring at her professor. Who she let in. "You are?" he asked.
"This is Professor McGonagall, the head of my house and my transfiguration teacher. Probably my favorite one," she admitted, sitting down with her cat again. "The auror was that upset?"
"Yes, they think you're very close to violating the statute of secrecy and telling those not involved would."
"I'm her biological father, lady," Clay said dryly. "You're going to be lucky if I don't bring my special forces team to your school to make sure it's safe." The teacher stared at him. He didn't back down.
"Let's end this pissing contest here as I'm one who does know thanks to my sister," Jake said dryly with a wave. "And I agree, we need to take a vacation to come tour her school. Make sure it's safe."
"I'd like him to come teach defense," Hermione quipped. "He'd do good. The girls could stare but probably wouldn't pounce. He'd turn the tables on the blood bigots and maybe make them very sorry to have tried that with him." She smiled. "He could teach us a lot."
"The headmaster has gotten an actual professor this year," she said patiently, staring at her. "They still are not to know, Miss Granger."
"I can tell my own family," she told her. "That is the law. And those who need to know to protect me if something should happen. Because they're calming me down before I find a weapon."
"You can't do that!"
"I taught her how to clean weapons when I was babysitting her at six," Roque told her dryly with his own smirk. Hermione nodded with a grin. "How is your knife?"
"One of the first things I checked after I got unfrozen. After Crooky and my books." She grimaced. "Someone had clearly moved it. It had been on my thigh but was in my trunk."
"Why did you have a knife in the school?" Professor McGonagall complained.
"Did you want me to bring a shotgun?" she offered. Then smiled. "I could have one found for myself. Hidden magically and all that. Though I can't promise I won't get Parkinson this upcoming year."
"You had better not!" Hermione just stared at her. She calmed herself down. "We will discuss this."
"Frankly, I'm within my rights in the law," Hermione said. "Would you like my notes where I looked up who I was allowed to tell?" She stared at her. "I can have Mum email them within a few minutes."
"No. I know the law."
"Then you should know that they're whining about me being a very angry teenage girl. I'm pretty sure I'm entitled to that, even under American law. Especially if I have to help Harry with injuries again this year."
"What injuries!" she demanded.
"Harry's injured frequently?" Roque asked her casually.
She stared at him. "The headmaster said he *must* go back to his abusive aunt's house every year to protect him." She looked at McGonagall. "Ron nicely takes a walk for ten minutes sometime on the train ride so I can do the healing spells. This time it took a few extra minutes but he chatted with Neville." She stared her down. "I don't accept the authority of people who let kids be abused like Harry is. Making our lives a living hellscape isn't really within the law either or ethics or morals."
"I had no idea about any of that. I knew they weren't good but I figured the'd eventually settle down." Hermione shook her head, staring at her. "I'll be investigating that then once I get back." She stared at her. "You still may not tell them things."
"I can tell the ones who need to know in my life to protect me when I'm not allowed to do so myself. Especially as Mum sent me to Uncle Clay here to calm me down and help me because I accidentally let it slip that I had been frozen for those four months, even though we had the antidote at the holidays."
"We ...."
Hermione held up a hand. "My class was growing it. The class made a dose of it in potions, which Snape said was early for him to teach us, in December. Before the holiday. I got frozen in the new term." She stared at her. "And no one told my parents why?"
"They shouldn't...."
"My parents insist on being part of all medical decisions made about my care when I cannot do it on my own." She smiled. "They are medical professionals even though they are dealing with mouth issues. Still did medical school. And I will note to new students that their parents won't be told if they're ill but muggle borns.
"Which violates laws in the muggle world and could get the ministry raided by the UK government." McGonagall winced at that. "It would also get the school investigated by our social services people. Who could force it to shut down just for the lack of electricity.
"Now, would you rather I vent at home to my parents, who are mandatory reporters and *must*, by *law*, report any such things, or vent to the uncles and aunt here who can give me tactical advice?" She smiled. "And I'd still really love Uncle Jake to come teach defense. At least I know he won't attack the kids."
She sighed, staring at her. "You cannot threaten your way out of this."
"I can go tell the local ministry too. Since they're so worried. Harry could probably use medical attention since the Ministry denied him getting any after he was bitten while saving Ginny." McGonagall winced at that. "Knowing how they feel over here about muggle borns being snatched from families.... Harry would probably love being an American. I keep the secret for most people. I didn't even say anything incriminating. I just mentioned being frozen and the lack of power. They overreacted."
"Most children aren't allowed to tell their extended families."
"I sneezed and turned my mother purple polka dotted once in a mall." She winced. "It wasn't covered up and it wasn't what got you to come talk to us."
"Oh, dear."
"Hmm. I doubt they're much better. All governments are lax in many bad ways. Do I like this magical government? No. Do I like ours? No. Would I like to see them both remade? Yes, I would but I doubt they'd elect me over someone like Draco Malfoy. They weigh blood more heavily than skills." She stared at her. "I can be perfectly within the law and vent or I can just vent."
"We cannot let it get out."
"They've probably run into it before," she said dryly. "The army or whoever sends them at huge problems in little areas of the world that are dangerous, deadly, and stupid."
"Only two had some magical protections and both had addicted magicals to their drugs so they didn't have to pay them," Jake said.
Clay looked at him. "Did you tell us that?"
"No, I ended their spells by shooting them in the head so they couldn't power it. It helped in one case and it set of a slight alarm with the other but they didn't have any other magicals to help them."
"Let me know from now on, Jensen."
"Yes, Colonel."
"Thank you." He looked at the others. "Did we know?"
"Saw her do it," Roque admitted.
"Ditto," Pooch agreed.
Carlos shook his head. "Not a bit," he admitted. "But I know others. Mama told me about her cousin who had some. She had to flee when the others found out. The church wasn't happy. They finally found her and made her become a nun to repent for being born that way."
Hermione looked at him. "How is it her fault she was born with magic?"
"That's a religion thing," Jolene told her. "No one but them understand those."
"Oh, all right." She went back to petting her cat, staring at her professor. "I'm still within the law. Are they going to try to snatch me too?"
"They could."
"They can't. That would be international custody problems," Clay assured her. "Because I would rip it down to find her." McGonagall winced.
"I'd escape anyway," Hermione offered. "Probably within a month or so when they got lax." She smiled at her uncle that had taught her that. Cougar smirked back. She looked at her professor again. "If they were really interested in helping their native born muggle students then they'd do better than their reeducation campaign that draws international scorn and hatred." She shrugged. "My opinion but I'm sticking to it."
She sighed. "They won't allow them to remember."
"They've always known. They can't take them all. Also, memory spells are failing often these days. And it would piss off the army. Does the ministry want that sort of problem?"
McGonagall considered it. "Probably not."
Hermione smiled at that. "I'm still within the laws. Even theirs. I looked it up. I'm not abused, my parents are super supportive of me. Mum wants me to transfer schools and bring Harry with me."
"The headmaster would not allow that and he'd have the ministry stop that, Miss Granger."
"Your headmaster is a part of the government?" Jolene asked. "Isn't that a conflict of interest?"
"Yes, but they don't have the same oversight you do over here," Hermione told her. "They really don't. They only care about those who had pure blood grandparents. People like me are seen as an inconvenient problem to be solved by being treated like I'm a lesser being."
She sighed as she looked outside then got something from her bag, going out there to hand it to the auror she had gotten earlier. "It's a good thing I can read your law books better than you lot can," she said, staring at him. "That's not only the MaCUSA laws, but also the international one. If you don't like it, change your own laws and how you support the muggle borns among you.
"Because internationally you're all basically seen as torturing kidnapers. Not even England's *that* bad." She walked off. "And I'm not abused. My parents are supportive and mandatory reporters." She shot him a smirk. "I'm helping one I know who is but I wouldn't ever let him come over here. You're all kidnapers. Worse than people sellers from what I've been told by the international courts." She slammed the door.
The aurors stared at the papers. "Copies of our laws, and the judgements against the US for snatching international students," the one who had them said with a wince. "By this, she's within the laws. Are they ours?" He let his supervisor see them, getting a grimace but a nod once they had checked them against the books. The MP's for the base showed up to drive them off.
They tried to claim to be a governmental child protection group but oh well. This was a military base and any children on the base would have to be handled by their own investigative agency. They offered to get that agent for them but they declined and left.
***
Hermione made herself available because she realized the aurors were really upset with her. McGonagall had to go home and tell the headmaster he was in danger possibly but she didn't care about that yet. The local aurors could be a problem for the uncles and aunt. She stared at him as she sipped her soda. It was the same auror sitting across from her at the fast food place's patio table. "What?"
"Young lady, you could have caused a great problem. Children often spill things unintentionally."
"Dear, I'm a third year this year," she said dryly. "I'm not a child. I'm also fairly well educated. I can tell you that I'm not dumb. I know every single word that comes out of my mouth. I plan them ahead of time when I can." She sipped, staring at him. "I'm not one of the dumb little kids you think you have to keep saving.
"For that matter, according to the international courts, your people caused harm to some normal little children who were pretending to be witches like they saw on a movie. Causing brain damage." She stared at him while taking her last sip then putting the cup down.
"If you come *near* my uncles, aunt, or anyone on their team, I'd have to protest. And I will protest in the worst way possible. Not like the Brit versions of you will notice. They're rather that same dumb sort. We think that's because they're blood purists." She grimaced. "Much like yours are."
"It's still a worry and threatening...."
She smiled at him to stop him. "I don't make threats. I never have. I learned early on that threats are meaningless." He winced. "Frankly, I got sent over by my mother to calm me down before I found a weapon to bring back to school with me." She leaned her arms on the table after shifting her tray out of the way. "Why are you even trying to bother me anyway?"
"You got sent by your own ministry to a whole bunch of single men."
"Yes, they're uncles." She nodded. "And one's actually my biological father but he's an uncle as well." He winced. "I'm told there was a huge amount of party going on that night," she said dryly.
"You were told about that stuff?"
"I've had my womanly cycle, to put it into Victorian language for your delicate ears," she said sarcastically. "For two years now. Yes, my parents are medical professionals and they gave me a thorough sex discussion. Though I had already known as my father and my blood types don't go together naturally. I needed some blood before a minor surgery. It came out then. I asked why the nurse had given him the hairy eyeball look."
"Telling you such things could be counted as abusive," he said smugly.
"Or it could be how you do it so you don't encourage children to go use theirs. You give them factual information and they don't wonder about the uses and how it happens," she said dryly. "Medical professionals all over the world agree on that method for stopping early motherhood." He grimaced.
"You still won't get me. No matter how much Fudge or whoever, or even Dumbledore himself, wants me to get out of Hogwarts because I'm showing up the pureblood students, it won't work. I can fight off your methods of restraint and retraining. I'd have to fight back and would probably end up before a judge for killing someone.
"Your memory spells are failing at a current rate of forty percent and causing brain damage in about ten percent of the cases." He smirked at that. "And if you did that, my mother would sue your asses completely and totally into the stone age where you came from." She stared at him. "You need to quit thinking I'm a dumb little kid. I have college educated, professional parents. I'm two years ahead in my own education because I pushed myself."
She stared at him. "The problem here isn't me talking to my relatives and near relatives who'd help me and support me. The problem here is you jumping up and trying to cure a problem that did not and would not happen. You jumped the gun long before that.
"Also, your ministry, if you had any brains in charge, would look at the current media offerings, see that witches are hot right now in them, and would take advantage of that. You haven't. I could go out today and proclaim myself a witch and wear full robes with my wand in hand waving sparkles and they'd think I was playing around like the movies do." She smiled at him. "I'm not the problem, you are, and if you make me solve it I will." She sipped her soda again.
"You guys have very tight weapons laws."
She chuckled. "Oh, that's funny. Did you forget we have landed gentry as well?" The man winced. "Who do things like fox hunt. And we have shooting clubs. Which I belong to one of." She smirked. "I had to learn how to protect myself somehow. London's a dangerous city." He slumped, staring at her.
"I could go buy a rifle today from a friend who was giving up foxing. I won't. I think it's crass. I might if Voldemort tries to come back again but as of this moment, I'd rather torture the headmaster than see him quickly gone." She smiled at him. "Anything else today? I should go get counseling from those who understand such urges."
"Are you a danger to the community?"
"Are they a danger to me? If so, then yes. If not, then no. I'll just push for more equality. Heavily push probably." She stared at him.
"We can offer you a better school. One with electricity and even computers."
"I love my parents. And we have day schools if I get that upset. I'd bring my best friends with me." She stared at him. "It might even be cheaper on my ed trust." He slumped. "Plus I'm taking some of my college classes ahead of time. You can't offer me that." He grimaced again. "I came to talk to the aunt and uncles to get some strategic thinking in case I have to use it.
"Beyond just sniping someone or cursing someone or even just punching someone. Though it would feel very nice to hit the headmaster a few times." She ate her last bite of burger and chewed slowly and carefully then finished her soda, bundling the trash together. "Anything else today, Auror Smythe?"
"How do you know who I am?"
"I looked you up. You guys do have a personnel database. The fact that you have ID cards proves it." She smiled at him as she stood up to throw out the trash and walk back to the house. "Have a better day."
He grumbled, going back to tell his supervisor that. He agreed, she was fine. Just really, really angry. And if those soldier sorts got her calmed down that was probably a great thing for England. Though they'd put a watch on that team to make sure they didn't out anything else.
***
The gate team stopped her to check her ID. "Miss, no driver's license? This isn't really considered a useable form of identification."
"I'm only thirteen. It's not like I can drive."
"You're British."
"I am." She smiled and nodded. "That's my ID for my day school I do long distance at the moment. I'm over here to get me less mad at my headmaster and a few teachers who are harming my friends before I harm them for it." She took her ID back gently with a smile. "I'm with family friends, I got sent to Uncle Pooch and Aunt Jolene for that."
"Oh, that team." He grimaced. "Why were you off-base without an adult then?"
"Because I wanted to drive off the idiot agent who tried to threaten me the other day. He thought I was a dumb little kid who'd put up with him trying to enforce things that aren't laws. Which I handed them a copy of their laws in case he hadn't looked it up." She sighed. "The more I see of the world, the more I see I really need to remake it so it's better."
"We all try that," he said dryly.
She smiled. "But I'm a borderline genius so someday I might become an evil overlord sort." She grinned. "If I don't blow up my headmaster for insisting a friend go back to their abusive home."
"That might be a bad thing if you did. Can you get the kid help?"
"Oh, yes. He's trying to block it. My parents are working on it right now however. They're mandatory reporters." She smiled. "And dentists." He grinned a bit, looking down and nodding. "I'm letting them be sneaky while I get some tempering work done."
"Good idea then. I know that team's full of hotheads."
"Oh, well, yes, but I dearly would love to bring Uncle Jake back with me to teach defense at the school. The other kids might like that too." She smiled. "The last one was pretty but unskilled. A first year beat him." He winced but nodded at that. "So yes, am I all right?"
"Yes, fine. Go back to their house, please. We don't want you to be hurt."
She stared at him. "I live in outer London. Do you honestly think I haven't had self defense class?" she asked dryly. "Even a bigger, stronger one can be hurt greatly." He smiled at her for that. "But have a good day." She walked off, going back to their house. "I'm back," she called. She heard the giggling and smiled, petting her cat but taking him to the back yard for now. He gave her a dirty look so they curled up in a lawn chair to cuddle for a bit.
***
Hermione looked up from learning how to shoot pool at the base's recreational area with Cougar and Jensen, staring back at the one staring at her. "I know I'm beautiful but you're much too old for me, sir. Eyes off my arse please."
"I'm trying to figure out what you're doing here."
"I'm using practical geometry lessons to fleece the uncles out of money for candy my mother won't want me to eat." She smiled. "You?"
"Oh. I thought maybe you snuck in."
"No. I'm here with the virtual uncles, friends of the family who have been nicely calming me down and helping me plot how to overthrow a government full of stupid." She smiled at him. "They're very good at it."
"I'm sure they are," he said, looking at Cougar, who nodded he was very good at it. "Still, there's an eighteen and up only in this area, Miss. There's drinking."
"Yes but I'd never want to do that. It'd ruin my very good mind. Why do I want to do that to myself already? I have years to get used to the taste of more than a half-glass of wine at dinner I have sometimes at formal events my parents go to for charity." She stared at him. "And I'm not causing any problems. If you want to drink go right ahead."
"They could get rough."
"I've had years of self defense lessons," she said dryly. "And I can smack a bitch just like I do the bullies in school." She smiled at him. "Really, you don't have to worry about me. Worry about whoever I have to hit, but don't worry about me, corporal. Anything else?"
"No," he said, walking off. She went back to playing pool after a look at the uncles. He told the guys who she was when he caught one looking.
One went to talk to Cougar. "So you're uncles?"
"Uncle Clay is the primary uncle," Hermione said as she bent over to take a shot. Then she smirked at him. "But yes, they are. I've even gotten to wear his hat to dress up once." She smiled. "I like the team. They're good people who're helping my temper calm down."
"Oh, that's fine." He looked her over.
"I felt that," she said while studying the table. "I'm much too young for someone of your advanced age. Thank you anyway," she said sharply, staring at him for a second. "Really, I am." He backed down with a nod. She smiled, taking her next shot and missing. "Shoot!" She handed off the stick to Cougar, who took his shot and the rest of them. She sighed and paid him the two bucks she had won earlier. Cougar patted her on the back but set up for the next round.
"She's cute, in a jailbait way," a younger soldier called over, sounding pretty drunk.
Hermione looked at Jake, who nodded that's what it meant. She looked at that one. "Yes, I would be so thank you for the interest but you'd have to wait a bit. Try again in a few years please." She took the first shot, really trying this time. She had done good in geometry. The table was a bit tilted in one spot though. She had to compensate.
The other soldiers with that one were chuckling over that. One came over to stare over her shoulder, getting hit with the stick in the stomach. "Thank you for the personal space." She stared at him. "Really. I can shoot pool. I did get an excellent in geometry."
"You're a Brit."
"I am." She smiled and nodded.
"Why are you here?"
"They're family friends. I needed some tactical counseling." She smirked a bit. "I'm very mad at some people around my school on behalf of a friend."
"Oh. That figures." He walked off after getting a new drink. She went back to the game at hand, shaking her head. Jake came over to help her. "I hit it there," she said, walking over to point. "And it rolls that way....the table's crooked, very crooked, isn't it?"
"It got hit during a fight so the slate tiles under the felt are bumped up in one area," he agreed.
"Ah!" She nodded, touching that area and taking that shot to see how her new strategy worked. Not well enough so she'd compensate differently. So she won that few bucks back again. The next game she ran the table and gave them a smug look. "Thank you, Uncles."
"Welcome," Jake said, giving her a side hug. "You're a neat niece. Nearly as good as my other one."
"Thank you." She stared at the guy coming over. "Yes?"
"Are you their girlfriend?" he asked.
"No, they're family friends so uncles." She stared at him. "They're making sure I can handle boarding school without blowing someone up." She smiled. "I'm fine, really. You should go have some relaxation time."
"I think you're a pretty thing."
"I think if you touch me I'm going to stab you," she said with a smile. "And I will." He glared. She stared back. "Go. Away." She made a 'go away' motion with her fingers. "I'm here with my uncles, who're teaching me to learn compensation of planning mistakes on the fly."
"And to see if your math skills are better than Coug's skills at pool," Jake agreed. "Go away," he told that soldier. "Right now."
"I think you're fucking her."
Hermione giggled. "The man could have a lot of women, nearly any he wanted. He was there when I was a messy six-year-old who spilled grape drink all over him and then threw up on him because I was panicky. I doubt he'd want to fuck me." The man sneered and moved closer. She stared at him. "I did warn you." He tried so she grabbed Jake's knife and went after him when he tried to touch her.
"What the fuck, are you Roque's daughter?" the guy demanded.
"No, but he's a great uncle as well." She took another swipe at him then stabbed him delicately when he moved toward where she wanted him to. She stared down at him. "I think I proved my point, Sergeant. So get up, go get sober, and quit trying to pick on underage girls. Or on my uncles. They shouldn't get into a bar fight tonight. Really. They don't want to encourage me to learn that skill."
He groaned but got up. "You're a pretty tough kid."
"Yes I'm in a boarding school and I have a lot of dumb idiots with me." She smirked a bit. "Hence me being over here to get some tactical temper work done." She stared at him, knife still held firmly. "Do have a good night." He nodded, walking off rubbing the small stab wound. His buddies got him to the hospital for a bandage for it. She grabbed a cleaning cloth from the bar to clean the knife off then handed it back. "Sorry I borrowed without warning."
"No, I enjoyed that. Roque really did teach you that though. Your stance is too wide."
"I always do that," she complained. Then sighed. "I know I should stand better."
He nodded. "We can work on that tomorrow. That way Clay doesn't growl at you."
"He's allowed to growl at me. I do give him that right." She grinned at Clay and Roque as they came in. "I'm learning how to change my plans on the fly when there's a complication."
"So you're trying to fleece them at pool and they taught you better?" Clay guessed. She nodded. "Did she actually win, boys?"
"She did," Jake said with a grin. "Twice now out of five games."
"Good job." She smiled. "Why do you have blood on your nail?"
"Some person thought I was tasty apparently and tried to steal me from the one he thought I was having relations with."
Roque stared at her then at Jensen, who shook his head. "She stole it from my hip after warning him she'd stab him. Her stance is too wide too."
"I can work on that with her tomorrow." She gave him a hug and racked up the balls again.
"Sarge would probably be proud of you stabbing whoever," Clay said dryly.
She nodded. "He would. Though I'm a bit worried about him. He wanted me to learn how to vamp so I could confuse people. Apparently he thinks someday I'm going to need that skill."
"You can do pretty, Hermione."
"Yes I can." She smiled and nodded. "As I have at many charity events my parents go to. It doesn't mean I want to be a Bond girl."
"I can't see you as that."
"Can I be an evil overlord?" she quipped with a smirk for him. "The urge does exist."
"Not until you're older, girlie," Roque ordered. "That's for your retirement years."
"Well, at least I'll have something to look forward to then." She smiled at the one coming over. "Was I too mean when I defended my arse from him?"
"Nope," the MP said dryly. "How did you learn that?"
"I needed to learn that."
"Oh." He looked at the two tougher members of the team. "You two?"
"I gave her her first one," Roque said proudly. "You're not wearing it?"
"Crooky was sleeping on it."
"Oh. Yeah, you probably couldn't find it under his fluff."
"He's a good boy."
"He is," Clay agreed with a nod. "You have good taste in cats."
"I almost adopted a poor dog that was in the school and tied up horribly to guard something but Mum would've minded how big it was." She shrugged a bit. "Huge dog but a sweetheart at times." Roque shook his head with a sigh. "Seriously. It drooled on the top of my head."
"That's a big dog," Roque decided with a nod. "A very big dog."
"Fluffy was such a sweetie though. Hagrid was so pouty when the headmaster sent it away." She looked at the MP. "I'm being good and polite."
"You are," he agreed with a nod and a smile. "We saw it on the security cameras. I just want to make sure you don't have any problems at your age."
She looked at the guys around her then at him. "If I couldn't handle it myself I'm fairly certain an uncle would help me."
"True, they get into plenty of bar brawls. Which we don't need tonight, Losers."
"We'll try but that's not always up to us," Jensen quipped.
"I'll hover nearby in case you do get jumped, boys. That way we don't destroy the building this time. Unlike the last two fights you had in here." He went to do that. He stared at her picture for a few minutes, wondering how they were uncles when her parents were dentists. Then he looked at the team and yup, she did look a lot like Jensen. So maybe.... He did talk about a niece. Though that one was younger.
"Do you think Uncle Sarge is correct and I need to learn how to do that club vamping and dancing stuff?" she asked.
"I do not need that thought, kiddo," Clay said firmly.
"Oops, sorry." She blew a kiss and got into the new game against Cougar. They both really tried this time and he did miss a shot. She barely won. It was the last ball and it was behind the bump so he had tried but failed. She had managed it barely and chaotically as it careened around the table.
That's when th MP realized whose kid she actually was. That poor girl's future boyfriends.
***
It took her two more years to grow into her future Queen Loser role. Then, she created a team, she led a movement, she defeated an enemy. Or two.
She had written Jensen for advice on how to handle Umbridge but his 'patience, Grasshopper' talk back hadn't helped. So she seethed a few weeks until she hurt a kid that wasn't Harry - because Harry wouldn't complain or let her do anything. Then...all bets were off. She knew she wasn't tactically great but she wasn't ready to walk up to someone and shoot them in the head yet either.
She started with a simple spell, one anyone in the castle could've done. Everywhere Umbridge went, there as the feeling of people staring at her. Watching her for faults. They were judging her. A few days later, the feeling of someone following her very closely. Like they were right behind her, about to breathe on her. She saw Umbridge looking around often. Though some of that was an act.
They had ended her spells so she recast them and that following feeling slowly turned into something hard, metal, round brushing the back of her skull. The kiss of a gun barrel. She figured out Flitwick was ending it when he got the other one but she just stared at him during a class and reapplied it while practicing her spell they were doing. He saw her, she knew he saw her. She didn't care.
The kiss of the gun barrel moved from the back of her head to various places. Sometimes beside her ear. Sometimes brushing her forehead. Sometimes her chin. Then now and then a little sharp line drawn on her skin like someone was dragging a knife across it but not stabbing her. Just showing it was there. Plus she sent fleas up to her bedroom. Any pet owner knew how annoying fleas were. Umbridge didn't need to comfortably sleep ever again.
The rest of the school was watching Umbridge slowly lose her mind. Snape was amused, she could tell he was amused and realized she was the one who had cast it. She was fine with that. Mcgonagall apparently didn't know but that was great. Then one kid got really hurt, nearly bleeding to death one night. Hermione found them in the hallway during her prefect rounds.
"No," she said. She looked up, acting like a normal kid. "MADAM POMFREY!" she summoned at the top of her voice. "STUDENT DOWN!" The teacher who heard, Flitwick, showed up first but the nurse wasn't far behind him. "I'm holding the bleeding spot closed," she noted to the nurse. "He's got another one on his thigh but it's slower than this one, which is seeping at pulse rate."
"Oh, dear." She moved to check him with a spell. "I have no idea what that is. He's taking something to block magic being used on him?"
"Because he's a perpetual bully target," Hermione told her. "So he's probably taking a protection?"
"Probably. However it's made whatever latch onto his body instead of his magic."
"Well, I can tell you it was probably a blood quill." She shifted that arm to show the new words that hadn't scarred yet. "One guess where he was earlier."
"Oh, crap." She manifested the stretcher and got him onto it after binding that bleeding spot, hurrying him off to the hospital.
Hermione stood up, staring at her hands before wiping them on her skirt. "Permission to go beat the living shit out of someone?" she asked Flitwick quietly.
"If she wasn't paranoid she probably wouldn't have done that."
"That's funny since she got Harry with a blood quill within a week of school starting." He looked horrified. "He's not the only one. There's been a number of them. Harry's gotten it each and every time he's got detention with her." She stared at him. "My innate sense of justice is tingling and screaming at me, Professor."
"Well, that's a nice thing," Umbridge said happily as she walked up the stairs. "Justice is always good."
"You just nearly killed a student," Hermione said, staring at her. "Such a cunt." She punched her and knocked her down. "Do it again." She looked at Flitwick. "If I get detention for that, that's fine. I'll spend it with Professor Snape as we can't trust someone in the three of us to not torture students to death."
"How dare you!" she shouted, getting up to grab Hermione, who came up with a dagger, pushing it against her chest as she lunged. Umbridge screamed but didn't get stabbed. "You should not have that!"
"It's part of the potions necessary items," she said dryly. "We all have one." She stared at her. "Whoever's been tormenting you, I'll be sure to thank them and help." She stared. "Do try some more." The woman backed off looking horrified. "I do not need to see students nearly *dying* because you're using illegal torture devices on them. They may be grandfathered in," she said in a honeyed voice, staring at her then smirking.
"But I can guarantee you they're going to be destroyed in a few seconds." She used her free hand to cast the spell to destroy anything with that kid's blood on it. His clothes got set on fire too but her desk went up with the quills being destroyed. "You should probably run now. Make us hunt you down," she said with a smile. "Really, just do."
"I'll have you arrested!"
She shrugged. "I just helped a student not die from you, Madam Umbridge."
"That's *Professor*."
"No, Professor is a title of respect. You have not earned it. In fact, you've proven the exact opposite. And I can just be distraught that I had to help hold his vein together so he didn't bleed to death in the hallway thanks to you." She stared at her. "Even if you call up this talk, that's well within normal parameters for those of us who're traumatized." She smirked. "It really is."
She stared at her. "You're in my territory, Madam. And not worthy of it, halfblood cunt." She resisted doing what her father would and kicking her down the stairs. Flitwick didn't, he tripped her and she fell down, but only a few stairs. She looked at her professor. "My father would've kicked her down them completely." She looked at him. "How many days of detention do I have with Professor Snape?"
"Many," he assured her. "Put the knife up." She did that with a smile. "Why are you carrying that?"
"I carry it every day. Plenty of the students have proven themselves to be a threat to everyone else. Thankfully I only respond to threats so I haven't gotten Parkinson yet." She smiled. "Or Malfoy." She noticed Snape and Dumbldore coming up the stairs. "Sirs." She nodded.
"I have said that I would allow you to do the detention I earned myself just now by saving a student from death. I look forward to it." She looked at Flitwick again. "Also, have you maybe done anything about the problem that made that kid take the anti-magic potion? Luna might love it if you did."
He winced. "I didn't realize he was mine." She nodded. "Oh, crap," he said in Gobbish. She smiled. "You don't speak that."
"I can identify a swear in most languages," she quipped. "It's how you say it that tells that it's a swear."
"What has happened?" Dumbledore asked, stepping over Umbridge.
"I was on rounds and found Pattrins from Ravenclaw bleeding to death in the hallway, Headmaster. We all know he's taking a potion to protect him from being cursed by bullies. He has been for about a month. Which probably isn't wise of him but it's kept him from brain swelling with the last one." Snape raised an eyebrow.
"He's got a blood problem that means he clots easily usually. That potion is a blood thinner as well. But *someone*," she said, staring at Umbridge then at the headmaster again. "Is using a blood quill on the students. It sucked into his vein this time." Dumbledore winced. "So he was bleeding to death in the hallway."
She pointed at the puddle of blood. "The body only has seven liters of blood if you're fully grown and he's a fourth year. So he probably only has about five. With that blood pool, he was probably down to about three when I found him. I rendered aid by holding it shut, summoning the nurse, and telling her what was going on.
"Professor Flitwick was closer so he got here first. Then I faced off with the being who tortured the student." She looked at Umbridge again. "I admit I did lose my temper a bit," she said with a smile. "So I punched in the face. Like I had Malfoy for his idiocy and attempt at bullying." She shrugged.
"She tried to rush me so I pulled my potions dagger that I carry because so many of the students here are of *charming* character." She stared at Snape then back at the Headmaster. "She didn't manage to stab herself with it, unfortunately."
"She has been plagued by people cursing her," Snape said dryly. "Which I know you were one of, Miss Granger."
She shrugged. "Then she should become a decent human being. One must protect the younger students from being tortured by her blood quills. Or any other item she has with her. Which may now be burnt." She looked at the carpet. "The protection spell on that is very good because I cast to burn the kid's blood that was outside his body."
She looked at the headmaster again. "I have said that any detentions I have I will gladly spend with Professor Snape as I do not think she should ever be allowed to have another student alone in her presence. At least we can trust *him* not to torture a student with more than words."
"You could have been nicer to her," Snape said.
She looked at him. "Professor, it's not well known that Dan Granger isn't my biological father. My actual father is actually a commando. A soldier who does dirty little jobs for the US government." He winced at that. She smiled. "Now and then I can turn into his daughter instead of Dan's daughter, though Dan would've kicked her down the stairs and watched her fall."
"I had no idea about that," he agreed. "Usually you seem very normal."
She nodded. "Usually I am very normal. Very happily normal. But having a student nearly die in front of me? No, I won't allow that to go on. And if she wants to get up and duel me I'll allow it in lieu of a trial."
"That's unfortunately not legal," Dumbledore said. Then he sighed. "Do you feel better?"
"No, she's still a threat to the students. I've had to help five different students heal from her torturing them. Any good person would react to that, Headmaster."
"They could expel you," Snape told her.
She nodded. "I'm aware, but I can say that I'm distraught from seeing the student nearly die if it comes to a trial and put out my memories under truth serum to show why. Call the others she's tortured the same way. Would the Ministry want that to happen? Having their second-in-command known for torturing students?" She looked at Umbridge then at Snape again.
"They'd probably try to put me in jail to shut me up but ...well, I'm not exactly like any other fifth year, sir." She smiled. "While they have thrown others in jail without a trial, the ones who did that last time aren't in charge now. Even if it took a year I could use it to do meditation work to enhance my skills without my wand."
"You can?" he demanded. She waved a hand and the lights near them lit brighter. "How far up your studies can you do?"
"All of them. I make sure of that. The only one I can't is the transfiguration one from two weeks ago. That one I can't concentrate on both at the same time."
"They would hate the very thought," Dumbledore assured her.
She smiled. "I'm aware of that, Headmaster. But they do drive all of us to those ideas to see if they work for us by how they treat us. A happy, healthy child who is supported has no idea about going to look at other ways to use our skills. They won't need to. Which is not half of your students." She smiled. "It's not a *rare* skill but it's not a greatly found one either. I know at least two others."
"Cornelius is going to lose his mind," he told her.
She smiled. "Then he shouldn't have treated us like he did. If he had treated us all equally, then we'd have no reason to go looking for other ways of using our skills. We'd be happy, healthy, supported students who do our best and try very hard at our studies usually." She shrugged.
"They haven't and proved it greatly because the one in the paper the other day was probably one of us who used something alternative on them. If it wasn't a death eater." She shrugged. "I'm going to continue to stick up for myself and others who need it. That's what strong people and leaders do."
"True." He grimaced. "Is that from your biological or stepfather?"
"Step actually. Dan is very much into things like social justice and taught me very well that the world needs to be a good place for everyone that it can be one for. Not all deserve it, not all will have it, but we can make it so those who do need it and do deserve it can have it. And nothing of that is what your blood status is."
"Point," he agreed with a nod. "Though right now I'm not very fond of you."
She shrugged. "You weren't before, Headmaster. I have ideas and I look them up, I study to find new things that you don't want us to know about. I teach others to do the same thing." She smirked. "I'm very aware that some of you hate me for that but oh well. I'm not here to make friends of my teachers."
"Good point. I wasn't either. Nor was Grindelwald."
She snorted. "If there is one thing I will never be is a blood purist," she said dryly. "I'd be the one who endorsed us having a movement like in the sixties to gain equality." He winced. "I think Diagon would be a *lovely* place for a protest march about equality for everyone." She smiled.
"Everyone can get there easily. Other magical communities would probably join in to help us reach a better state of community as well. I'm sure the French would. They had their own about ten years ago from what I saw in their history."
"We all hated that," he admitted.
She smiled. "Well, the world needs to be a good place for most everyone, Headmaster. That would solve a lot of problems, wouldn't it?" He grimaced but nodded. "So.... how many detentions do I have and do I need to ready myself for a trial? I have a lawyer I would call upon for that and need to write him a letter quickly."
He blinked a few times. "That is not up to me." He looked at Umbridge, who was horrified.
Hermione smild at her. "What, Madam? Did you think I was *nice*?" she sneered. "Or stupid?"
"That is probably one thing no one has ever called you," Snape said. "Arrogant however you've probably heard a few times."
She nodded. "I know I can be. Especially when I know I'm right." She smiled at him. "Students should not be tortured. Especially not by a teacher."
"No, they should not," he agreed. He looked at her. "While I can't agree with your methods....it does amuse me, Miss Granger."
"Thank you, Professor Snape." She looked at the headmaster. "I do believe the phrase is 'the ball's in your court'."
"I believe you'll have a month of detention with him," the headmaster said with a sigh. "You will lose your house a round hundred points."
She nodded. "That's fine and reasonable."
He stared at her. "Most students would protest that amount."
"Unlike some I know actions have consequences and I thought about them before I did it. That math isn't that hard with probabilities."
"Good point." He frowned. "Well...." He looked at Snape. "You tell Minerva."
"What is that thing that keeps touching me?" Umbridge demanded.
Hermione looked at her. "I have no actual proof but it's probably the hand of Fate showing you he's watching your actions and that's showing how he's judging you." Umbridge looked horrified. She smiled. "I sent you fleas." The woman stomped off again. She waved at her back with a smile. "Have a better night, Madam. May Fate smile kindly on you some day."
Snape shook his head. "Probably not."
"No, but sometimes you need a higher being to teach you things that you failed to learn earlier on," she said. "As teachers do for students."
He nodded. "I'm sure I'll be teaching you many of those sort of lessons, Miss Granger."
She stared at him. "I look forward to it, Professor." He glared. She smiled. "You can successfully get your point across when you need to. You have in the past."
He smirked. "True, I have. You'll have a lot to learn."
"That's fine." She looked at the headmaster. "I really must finish prefect rounds, Headmaster. Am I due more punishment?"
"You'd probably enjoy it if I suspended you to your tower," he complained.
"Well, yes." She smiled. "I'd love a nap sometimes." He rolled his eyes. "I could lounge in bed, read some of my other books, play with my cat, he'd love that." She smiled again. "May I please? Tomorrow even?"
He groaned. "Yes. Take tomorrow off." He stomped off with a sigh of defeat.
"Thank you, Headmaster." She looked at the two professors.
"Go back to your house," Flitwick told her. "Start your two days of suspension. Then you'll have detention with Professor Snape every day for the following month." She nodded with a smile. He walked off grimacing. "I need to check on a few students."
"If they're taking what I think they're taking, make them stop it," Snape told him. "It's dangerous."
"So is being targeted by your house," Hermione told him. "We've had two that we had to talk down about taking themselves out." He stared at her. She stared back. "Anyone can break."
"True." He grimaced. "Go to your house."
"Yes, Sir, but that's in your direction so I need to get around you and didn't want to get that close to you as I know you hate people touching you." He got out of the way. She strolled that way.
Snape smirked at her back. That was inspired and dirty pool but he did appreciate that move. And that Umbridge had been brought down a few pegs. That made him happy.
***
Story notes:
Notes: some info from the movie, some from the comic book version's old version thanks to fandom wiki.
Chapter notes:
This was a 2am, half asleep bunny that demanded to be written.