***
One Year Later
***
Xander wandered up to where Clint was. "Hey." He gave him a hug.
"You look like hell, kid." Xander grinned slightly. "Bad day?" That got a nod. Clint spotted something and winced. "Damn it," he muttered.
Xander looked over. He knew that sort of guy. "Hmm, interesting." He called someone on his new phone, which Clint had told him to buy because it was a good one. The fate of his last phone would not be talked about because Clint tended to turn a bit green each time he heard how his call had connected to him last time. This one was bulletproof, unlike his last one. It was even slime, drool, and water proof. "Dimitri, are these guys yours?" he asked, turning the phone so he could see them.
"No, Xander. Why do you ask?" the man on the phone said.
"Because I'm pretty sure they're your sort of guy."
Clint leaned over to look and nodded. At least he could almost tolerate that Xander boyfriend of bad guys. That one was just greedy, he didn't want to take over the world. "They are, yeah. Hey, Dimitri."
"Barton." He grimaced. "Protect Xander. It's been a long week. Xander, you have fun with them."
"Bro," one shouted. "What are you doing out in the open, Bro? Or should we call you Avenger Bro?"
Xander looked at Dimitri. "Great, they are stupid like moose," he said in Russian, cracking Clint up.
Dimitri scowled. "Xander, that's not nice. Most Russians are not like that stupid cartoon."
"I know." He blew a kiss. "I'm sorry I insulted you, even if these countrymen are really pathetic examples of Eastern European businessmen."
"Bro, who's this?" one of the thugs demanded.
Xander looked at him. "I'm Xander. I work with the slayers." He looked at his phone again. "So no relation?"
"Nah, not on my end, Xander. Do have fun. I know you need some stress relief."
"Sure, me and the Bro-Coat Mafia here will have some fun." He grinned and hung up then looked at them once his phone was back in his pocket. "You should make haste like moose and squirrel running after a stupid plan," he said in Russian. Clint cracked and started to laugh. "No matter how stereotypical and insulting that is, you really should."
"Bro, did he just insult us?" one of the thugs demanded to Clint. "We should fuck him up for that, Bro. We really should."
Xander nodded. "Perhaps you'll try but you'll lose." They pulled guns. He calmly pulled something out his pocket, opened the case, then let it expand in his hand. "I win. Mine's bigger." They were staring at the tube-looking weapon. "Now, unless you want me to stake you like I usually do vampires and the like? I'd. Leave. I've had a shitty week. I came to talk to my friend about it. I don't need this shit."
"Bro, you deal with that weird shit?" one demanded.
Xander nodded. "Yeah, I just took out one that tried the Grand Cathedral in St. Petersburg, whatever it's called these days. I nearly got to punch Putin in the nose because he came down to yell at me for it."
"What type?" Clint asked.
"Replessor."
"Don't those take beheading?"
"Yup." Xander grinned at him. "He complained that I had done it in the church, and at all. I offered to have another one summoned so they could fight it on their own. Then I pointed out that they'd already lost six priests trying to banish the stupid thing and it wasn't like I could drag it outside. So yeah, Putin's talking to Giles about charging me." He shrugged. "Yay," he said blandly. He looked at the confused thugs again. "Dudes, shoo. Now. We don't need the Bro-Coat Mafia today. I've had a shitty week. One of my ex's was killed recently while trying to rescue some kids guys like you had hostage. I. Do. Not. Need. This. Shit." They backed off because Xander had turned on the weapon to warm up. It had a nice whine when it did. "Am I clear?" They ran.
"We'll see you later, Bro. Maybe you'll be in a better mood," one shouted. Xander hit their car once they were in it, making the engine blow up. They stared. Xander smirked and waved then blew a kiss. "Bro, that'll cost you."
"It does the same thing to humans," Xander offered. "Or, you know, I can have you guys eaten by something. No difference to me, dudes." They fled because cops were coming. Xander let Clint take the weapon and drag him inside to his apartment. "Sorry to just drop in unannounced."
"It sounds like you need a hug."
Xander nodded. "I could use a hug but be damned if I have someone to do that with."
Clint hugged him. "I still like you. I know it wasn't your fault he died."
"I asked him to look into it."
"Still not your fault, Xander." Xander relaxed and cuddled. "You need to rest. You're shaky."
Xander grinned. "Kinda." He looked down at the quiet huff of a bark. "Awww! You've got a puppy! Even if saying that does make me sound like a slayer." He petted him. "You're adorable. I need something like you to cuddle. You'd have to like to travel but the slayers would adore me getting a puppy."
Xander wasn't usually that squealy or that sort of bouncy. Especially when he was depressed a minute earlier. "Did someone dose you?" he demanded, tipping Xander's face up to look at his real eye. "They did! Who drugged you?"
"Willow. She also put me on the plane. You know, I need to find a way to benefit from all the traveling I do."
"They make cards that give you miles so you earn free flights," Clint said. "Lay on the couch, Xander. I'll let you rest." Xander nodded, laying down. "Have you looked at any of those?"
"I'm not a Baldwin and they hate the Council. They tried to not let the slayers fly to handle something. It nearly got a whole city eaten. We had to sue them for an emergency injunction and everything," he sighed. "They still hate us."
"I think they'd hate the bad publicity more. Not allowing the slayers to handle something so a lot of people die wouldn't do their reputations any good."
Xander shrugged. "I about beat one of them to death anyway for being a snide bitch." Clint grinned. Xander looked up at him. "I try really hard to be good but this is the third funeral this year. I hate funerals."
"I know. I hate them too." He sat on the arm of the couch and petted over Xander's hair until he fell asleep. Clint got a whole ten minutes of quiet before his kitchen window opened and a female climbed in. "Hey."
"Ooh, visitor? Is that your 'special friend' the tracksuit slugs were talking about?" she asked, doing air quotes. She looked. "He looks like the guy who works with slayers."
"He is the guy who works with slayers. We're buds."
"Aww," she said with a grin.
Xander blinked at her. "You're loud and underage. Can you quit at least one of those?"
Clint laughed. "Xander, this is Kate, who I share a name with."
"Cool." He waved. "I'm here commiserating with Clint over losing a few people. If you need him to go do Hawkeye stuff you can borrow him too."
Kate grinned. "Nah, I just came to check on the big goofball. No one's heard from him in a few days. What's with the cops and the tracksuit slugs?"
"The Bro-Coat Mafia decided to get into my face so I kindly blew up their car," Xander said with a grin.
"Forgive him, Rosenburg drugged him before sending him up here," Clint said.
"That's cool. That's a better name than I usually call them." She plopped down. "I'm not underage."
He snorted. "Yes you are. Unless I move to Malaysia full time, yes you are." He yawned and closed his eyes again. "'Scuse me, gotta nap. Drugs are bad but kinda nice. At least I'm not giggling anymore. The stewardess was very worried about me until I told her my friend had drugged me so I was running away from her."
"I'm sure they were worried that Willow was going to do something to the plane. Is she back from her training?" Clint asked.
"No. She ran away. They'll get her for me later and make her do PT and stuff again. It grosses her out. They made Buffy do it too when they bailed her out of jail for stealing from Dawnie. They were not happy girls." He grinned.
"I bet." Clint went back to petting him until he fell asleep again. He looked at Kate. "What's up?" he asked once Xander was snoring.
"I came to check on you, you big duffus."
He smirked. "I'm good. Was minding my own business when they strolled up to me. Xander had just gotten there." Someone pounded on his door so he went to open it. "Shh. He's sleeping," he ordered. The officers glared at him for it. He pointed. "Someone drugged him and put him on a plane up here."
"Is he the guy with the artillery?" one of the officers asked.
Kate nudged Xander and pointed. "Cops."
He leaned up to glare at them. "Is this about the Pathetic Patrol out there that tried to intimidate me? I offered to have them eaten instead but they're apparently really stupid. I think it's contagious from their tracksuits along with the ugly they caught."
One of the cops blinked. "You're the guy with the Council. I've seen you at a few battles on tv."
Xander grinned and nodded. "I am. I'm escaping them before I hand out spankings. A lot of spankings. Clint's a friend."
"Where did the artillery come from?"
"I brought it up to test with Stark tomorrow."
"We can hold it for you," the other officer offered. "That way it's safe."
Xander blinked at him. "If the Disco Thugs out there try again I'm summoning something and then I'll banish it," he said dryly. "I'm not really happy right now with certain Russians, and they just expanded it." He sat up and rubbed his face then looked at them. "I could've been meaner and staked them or beheaded them."
"Thank you for that, sir."
"Someone really does need to remind them that 'bro' is supposed to be a special term, not a general term like dude is."
"Please don't call us that," one begged quietly. Xander grinned. "You still used artillery in downtown Manhattan. We're a bit paranoid about that, sir."
"Actually I used a laser, not artillery."
"Does Stark know you're coming since he's in LA?" Clint asked.
"Yeah. He told me to meet him at the tower tomorrow."
"Him or Pepper?" Clint asked.
"Him. I talked to the God-King himself. Oh, and Illyria wanted me to hug him. She adores her new Starkphone and wanted to make him a top minion in her court. Again." He looked at the officers. "I'm grieving for a friend and they walked up on me to start shit. You're damn lucky I didn't have my axe on me."
"Does it look like the one on your necklace?" Kate asked, mostly to distract him so he'd calm back down. "That's pretty. I need one of those with a bow."
Xander looked down. "I'm wearing a necklace?" He patted until she lifted it up. "Oh, it's a Willow special." He pulled off the axe with a grin. "Baby." He cuddled it once it had expanded.
"He's their armory master," Clint said with a slight smile for the officers. "And kinda high thanks to Rosenburg. She drugged him then put him on a plane."
"I can fully understand that. Can you ....disarm him?" one asked quietly. Xander was presently cooing at his axe and cuddling it while laying back down at Kate's insistence. That was not in the NYPD handbook. They had no idea how to deal with this situation and the others could handle it. They were used to crazy people who liked weapons; Hawkeye knew Stark and this one couldn't be worse than Stark.
"Yeah, we can do that. We understand. We're like that about our bows."
The officers smiled. "We'll talk to the businessmen downstairs that complained."
"The tracksuit slugs?" Kate quipped. "They keep trying to hit on me and I'm more fantastic than they'll ever dream plus I'll kill them if they try."
They just nodded and left it there. Barton was an Avenger, he had it handled for them.
Clint closed and locked the door, coming over. "Xander, I'm going to move your axe."
"My baby," he pouted, not opening his eyes.
"Yeah but I want to shine it for you."
Xander blinked up at him. "Since when are we dating?"
"We're not."
"You wouldn't let me help you clean your bow because we weren't dating." Kate was trying not to laugh. "He did. He even had a broken wrist and we were stuck in a hut thanks to a monsoon storm."
"I did," he told Kate. "Okay, well, how about Kate gets to look at it? That way she understands about axes. She's good with swords and staves. Nearly as good as a slayer."
"I guess. But don't bang her into things."
"I'll treat her like I do mine and Clint's bows," she promised. "Want me to take the necklace too?" He nodded, tipping his head so she could take it off for him. "There, you rest."
"Are you two dating?" Xander asked. "I can get a hotel room so I don't interrupt the nookie going on. I know that's important even if I never seem to get any anymore."
"No, she's the one who took my name for a while," Clint said.
"Oh! Is that why you're here instead of the tower?"
"I needed some space and everyone broke up for a few months. We all needed space from Bruce's bean farts and things." Xander grinned. "You rest. We'll make sure you're okay and the douche-bros don't bother you again." Xander nodded, yawning. Kate settled in to pet Xander, helping him fall asleep while smiling. Clint looked at her. "They bother you?" he asked quietly. "Since when?"
"Since the tracksuit wearing slugs realized I was pretty. Took them a few days but then again they're dumbasses."
"Well, yeah, they are." He put Xander's axe carefully down and then the necklace after looking at it. He looked at Xander. "Xander, let me take off your boots." He heard the mumbled 'watch the knife' and nodded. "I can do that." He pulled them off and put the ankle knife on the table with the axe. He and Kate moved the ten feet to the kitchen and it was okay for now. Xander could sleep it off and tell them what had happened. Lucky was staring at Xander while he slept but apparently that was okay with Xander. Clint did text Stark to make sure he remembered he was meeting Xander and told him how nice the weapon worked on the car of the guys who tried to pick on Xander. He made them both coffee and relaxed.
At least until the door got kicked in. Then he and Kate grabbed weapons to fire on them. Xander was already up with his axe making them messy. Clint and Kate both shot one each to bring them down but Xander followed the fleeing ones. Right past the cops outside finishing up the reports.
"Get back here, mother fuckers," he shouted in Russian. "Before I end your ass in a meaningful yet very messy way as a human fucking sacrifice! I'm trying to goddamn sleep and you won't let me sleep off the funny colors that keep trying to kiss me!"
The cops looked at each other and shook their heads, calling it in. Clint and Kate ran out to stop him, both with bows and quivers. They could handle it while the cops went to see what sort of mess had been made. In the distance was heard a 'Fuck you and the bitch you screwed all the way here' in a male voice and then an 'eww' in a female one. Then the 'Xander, please just kill the demon for us and we'll handle the mob guys, okay' in the more reasonable male voice. Yup, they didn't want to know. They had special groups to handle special people like that. Some even had some nice tranquilizers so that Council guy could get the nap he needed.
***
Clint looked up from tying up tracksuit wearing thugs when someone cleared their throat. "Hey," he said with a grin and a wave. "How are you, Cap?"
"I thought I was bored." He watched Xander beating up on a demon, which was laughing. "Is he playing with it?"
"He needs the witch he called to finish the spell to take off the immortal healing thing," Kate said. She grinned and waved. "They busted in and Xander chased them to this demon, and then let us handle that for him. By the way, Rosenburg, whoever that is, kinda drugged him."
"Okay," Steve Rogers decided. "No NYPD?"
"We left them back at the building," Clint said. "They busted in my door."
"Why?"
"They're not real happy with me since I made them leave my building alone."
"Why didn't you tell us this?" Steve asked. "We would've helped."
"They're Russian Mafia. They wouldn't care what you thought, Cap. And I had it handled." Xander laughed and then cut the demon's head off before hacking at the arms. "Xander, does it really need dismembered?"
"Yes. This sort takes in runaway kids to eat." He went back to chopping it apart. "But I know where its lair is. It leaves a trail of florescent slime."
"We can track it to make sure it didn't have any hostages," Steve said. "Let me get someone at SHIELD to do that for us."
Xander pouted at him. "Mercy's up here as the city's slayer now. She can do it. SHIELD hates demons," he finished, still pouting.
"SHIELD can help so she doesn't have to do it alone," Clint said with a smirk. "Or drive. Please?"
"Fine." He finished chopping the demon up. "Need fire." Kate pulled one of Hawkeye's arrows out and fired it at the pile of parts, which set it on fire. He grinned at her. "I like you even though you're underage." He gave her a hug. "You're neat." He wobbled then sat down and grinned at Clint. "I'm still high as fuck from the bitch."
"We'll get Willow for drugging you. Kate, take him back to my place?"
"Take him to the car and we'll go to the tower," Steve corrected, giving Clint a look. "Not like you don't have to clean up where they invaded."
"Xander came off the couch and grabbed his axe," Clint said. "I think the morgue has first call on that mess." Kate nodded, shuddering a tiny bit. Xander cooed and hugged her, falling asleep on her. She made flailing hand motions. He was dragging her to the ground by being dead weight. Clint came over to help her by taking Xander to his car. Kate followed to babysit after running up to grab his boots and pretty sword on a necklace. Steve called Agent Hill to handle things and she'd bring the local slayer with them. Thankfully it didn't take too long.
The slayer got out of the back of the SUV, grimacing. "Oh, one of them," she sighed. "Damn it, there goes my planned pedicure. Good work, Captain."
"Xander's work actually. He said Willow drugged him?"
"Yup, from what I heard, she did. He's going to kick her butt good this time."
"Why?" one of the agents asked.
"He was upset that one of his former lovers died while looking at a hostage situation Xander wanted to butt into because one of us was being held. The funeral was yesterday and Willow decided him grieving was wrong since the guy used to be an arms dealer."
"Can't we banish Rosenburg to another realm?" one of the agents asked.
"Don't tempt me," she shot back with a grin. "I have a poker debt I can call in, and if I don't, Xander does." She looked at the demon. "We need something to see the slime." A blacklight was handed to her. She checked. "That'll work." She followed it back, though it took a while since the demon had been running errands. They had no idea why the demon had stopped in the tampon aisle of the local Wal-Mart but it had. The manager was very nice and told them what it had bought.
They tracked it back to the lair about dark and managed to free the hostages. "A lot more exciting than going club hunting to get the vamps around here," she quipped once the hostages had been taken to the ER. "Let's look for eggs. We can burn those. Or we can sell them for a shit ton of shopping money." The agents just nodded and let her do that, then call a poker contact to come buy them. He was most happy to do that. Apparently they were tasty in the egg stage. The agents had all decided they did not want to know by then.
***
Stark came off the elevator. Clint tossed him the miniature box. "What's this?"
"How he transported it. Open it and it'll grow."
"It didn't when I tried it," Kate warned. "Xander had to get gropey with it to fix it."
Clint took it back to open it since he could. Xander had told him that he had him and Natasha coded into anything like that just in case they needed it in whatever battle he died in. Stark nodded. "That's nice. What does it do?"
"It fires a fairly wide, bright purple laser beam," Clint said. "He said that his people confiscated it."
"Huh." He took it down to his testing range to fire it. "I see it's made by Justin Hammer so it's probably faulty in many ways." He was impressed but it still was too loud, too bulky, too heavy, and obnoxious. Yeah, he could fix that for the slayers.
***
Xander woke up to someone shouting about stolen prototypes and wandered out stretching and yawning. He stared at the shouting guy, glaring slightly. "You woke me up." The man sneered. "It wasn't stolen when we got it. I stole it from the guy selling it on the black market to some of my former lovers." He stared him down. "I don't know *how* someone like Petrie Marsh got it but he did." Hammer backed away, looking scared. "Frankly, I confiscated it because I thought it might help my slayers in a battle. Sorry and if you want we'll pay you for the meager thing it is. I was hoping Stark could tell me how to turn it up since it'll only cut through four-to-six inches of material at a time and anything we'd have to use it on would probably be thicker than that to behead."
"You..." he spluttered.
"Yeah, me," Xander agreed dryly. "By the way, did you get the complaint letter about the stupid stake shooter you guys put out that jams every single shot?" The man glared again. "Not my fault it does. Even when you use smaller stakes, which means it's less effective. Not that it was wholly effective before but it was a nice idea if it would work."
"Maybe you're using inferior wood," he said snidely. "We didn't have that problem in testing."
"Unfortunately we heard about it because some of the people using them had died while using it, and they were using your special ammo stakes, yes. They were in Phoenix if I remember right so you can have someone look up the reports to see what their labs said about it. I don't have a copy on me." He snapped. "Stark, I need you in Malaysia for a bit. We had a realm breach from another reality and it looks like alien weapons but I'm not transporting them. There's way too many idiots over here that might try for it, or others. I have Natasha sitting on it at the moment."
"I can do that," he agreed. "What sort of alien tech?"
"It looks like hand units and they fire like your repulsors. Not exactly sure. I think they might have weak charges because one only set some paper on fire and the other two won't fire. Then we found the other things that got tossed, including some staff weapons that blew up houses if you did the wrong thing and a few other things."
Stark looked at him oddly. "Like on that show?" Kate asked.
"Show?" Stark and Xander asked.
"Yeah." She got into the shared Netflix account. "Oh, shoot, they took it off. Let's check Hulu then." She finally found an episode on YouTube and let them see it.
Xander pointed. "That's the staff weapon."
"Yeah, I want to look at those. You can't bring them here?" Stark asked.
"Considering we had to sue all the airlines because they didn't want to fly some slayers to a battle, and the FBI supported them in it?" Xander quipped. "No thanks. We trust the rebels over there more because they won't piss me off. Unless you can ask Natasha how to move them safely, I don't want to have to rescue them."
"Me either," he agreed. "Yeah, I can call Romanoff to see." He glared at Hammer. "You're still here?" He stomped off. Xander smirked and waved at his back. "I see you've met before?" Stark asked dryly.
"He actually thought he was good enough to flirt with me." He shook his head. "Am I supposed to have a headache?"
"Yeah, you are," Clint said. "It's probably not all out of your system yet, Xander. Want a sandwich?"
"I could eat another water buffalo all by myself," he moaned, following him to the kitchen. "I'll pay back the groceries, Stark."
"I make billions each day, Xander. I can buy you a few water buffalo to eat." He looked at Kate. "You're the other Hawkeye." She smiled and nodded. "Nice to meet you." He shook her hand. "Why are you here?"
"The Russian Bro mob tried to break in on Clint so Xander used his pretty axe on them. Apparently he had used that weapon to blow up their engines earlier."
"The Bro-Coat mafia is pathetic and their wardrobe is straight out of low budget disco era porn," Xander agreed from the kitchen.
Stark looked confused. "Every third word out of their mouths is 'bro'," she explained. "Track suit wearing slugs who think bro is like dude."
"Oh, great. Hold on, Russian mafia?" he demanded. "Barton, why haven't we been warned you're making bad friends after abandoning us?"
"I did not abandon you, Stark, I only moved to Brooklyn for a bit since we were all taking a break, and I was handling it."
"Yeah," he snorted. "Great." He looked at her with a grin. "Are they finally screwing?"
"Not that I saw from the couch last night. Though Xander does seem very cuddly."
"Only dangerous guys and girls like him," Stark said dryly with a smirk. "So maybe you're not dangerous enough yet."
"I'm not sure if I should be insulted at that or thank you for it," she quipped back.
"Thank me for it. He keeps flirting with Romanoff."
"I like Natasha. She's neat. Though, if that's his thing, then no, I don't fit. Even if I was old enough to not fit into his category of 'underage'." Stark laughed, going back to the lab. She walked into the kitchen. "Did you save me a water buffalo sandwich?" Xander handed her one of his. "Thank you, Xander." She sat down to eat with them and talk about more weapons. The slayers had neat ones she wanted to try. Lucky came in to sit with them and not beg. He just gave them pitiful looks since they weren't eating pizza.
***
Fury stomped off the elevator that night, glaring at the two Hawkeyes and Harris. "What the fuck did you think you were doing?" he demanded.
"Me?" Clint asked.
"No! I'm yelling at him. I'll yell at you for a minute for not saying a word about the Russian Mafia trying to kill you repeatedly."
"I had it handled," Clint complained. Fury gave him a look. "I did."
"Uh-huh." He glared at Xander. "You're wanted in Russia on charges of desecrating a church?"
"There was a replessor in it. They already lost six priests trying to banish it so I killed it. I've already worked most of that out with them and Giles is being diplomatic. So fuck off, Fury, before I ask my last ex to come cuddle you."
"Is that the one you found out had skinned some people so you broke them and let them be arrested?" Clint asked.
"Yup. He's out on bail." He grinned. "I love Georgia sometimes. Their laws are so screwy over there."
"Eww," Kate said.
"Yup," Clint agreed, nodding. "It was." He looked at Fury. "It's fixed, sir."
"It's not fixed. They want him arrested."
"I offered to bring another one so they could handle it themselves," Xander shot back. "And if they try I will." Fury backed up a step. "Do you mind? I'm coming down from the shit Willow dosed me with against my will and I kinda have a headache. Since your aftershave is so damn strong, I'm about to lose my lunch on your shoes. I doubt your present lover would like that." Fury took another step back. "Anything else you don't have the right to complain about?"
"I can take you into custody."
"You do that. I wanted to punch the idiot in the nose the last time and I'll do it this time. Not like I can't make half the prison want to be my bitch. Then I could have the pity cuddles I can't get from Clint." Fury shuddered and stomped off. "Bye," he called with a grin and a wave like a little kid. "Have a good trip back to your stolen flying dick statement that's still got bad armor plating."
"Xander," Clint complained. Kate was blushing.
"It is!"
"Still!"
"They used cheap shit to redo the armor. It's really weak. Some day it'll break up during a good wind storm." He rubbed his forehead. "Why do I have a sensory spike?"
"Because you're a lucky guy," Kate said with a grin. "You really, really are."
"Maybe I need to be less lucky in everything but kitten poker." He leaned on Clint's shoulder. "You smell nice."
"I know I do." He patted him until he napped again, smirking at Kate, who was still blushing.
Stark came off the elevator. "I think it was a penis statement when I designed the helicarrier," he agreed on his way to the coffee pot. "And he's right about using the cheap armor plating too. It will fall apart, most likely over one of the lower gyms." He got some coffee and walked off. "If he gets to punch the Prime Minister or whoever in the nose, I want film." He got onto the elevator and left.
Clint shook his head. "Now I see why you needed time away from the insanity," Kate said quietly. "Stark's really like a tornado when he's out of the lab."
Clint nodded. "He can be when he wants to be." Xander shifted down to lay on his thigh. "Xander, we're not dating and that's girlfriend territory. Sorry, but move some? Want to nap on Kate?" She shook her head. Xander cuddled a lot. She wasn't used to that. Xander did shift when Clint moved to go to the bathroom. Kate ended up with his head on her thigh instead and him purring at her. She wasn't sure if she wanted to film it to giggle over or coo over it in person.
Steve came off the elevator and paused then smiled. "It's nice he's finally getting good taste."
"He said I'm underage even though I'm not, and I'm not dangerous enough for him. He's got a headache from whatever the witch used on him."
"Awww." He got a blanket for Xander and left them alone, going to check on Tony. Stark had the surveillance video pulled up and was smirking at it. "He's cute when he's not being aggressive."
"Yes he is." He got back to work on his version of that weapon. The slayers needed it. "I only design weapons for us and the slayers."
"I fully understand. I worked with the local one more than once. She's a nice girl. They have a really hard job. I've learned a lot since I introduced myself to Mercy."
"They do." He looked at him. "He probably won't wake up for a while."
"It's fine. Do we know what she gave him?"
"We're running tests on his blood sample that Clint got us. Clint did warn me that his DNA is a bit screwy so we're seeing if we can figure it out." He got back to work. "I'm not fascinating today," he said when Steve kept watching him.
"Yes you are. You always are." He grinned. "Dinner?"
"I had coffee."
"Real food for dinner?" Steve suggested.
"Not really hungry. I ate earlier."
"Uh-huh. Go clean up. I want dinner and I hate to eat alone?"
"Sure, I can take you to dinner but you're buying."
"Of course since I'm the one who wants to eat." He went to change clothes as well. They went to a diner up the street and it was nice. Very quiet in there. Almost no one that wasn't staring but that was normal when you were an Avenger.
***
Bruce finally got there and got handed the results of Xander's DNA sample by Stark. "What is that?" he demanded. No one had ever said Bruce Banner and jet lag were good friends. He was a tiny bit cranky.
"Xander's DNA."
"Why?"
"No clue. He's still got a sensory spike headache from the stuff Rosenburg dosed him with." He handed that over. "As near as we can figure out based on his blood."
He went up to check on him. Clint was reading while Xander was napping next to him. "Hey, Clint." He paused. "I don't know you. Bruce Banner." He held out a hand.
She smiled. "I'm the other Hawkeye, Kate Bishop." She shook it. "Xander's still got a headache but we sedated him with benadryl."
"That's a good idea. What is wrong with his DNA?" he asked Clint.
"Fish taint. There had been a swim coach and he dosed them with mermaid stuff."
"Mermaids?" Kate asked. "Like Disney, sold her soul for true love?"
"Like black, slimy lagoon monsters on crack," Clint corrected. "But yeah. Mermaids. He introduced me to one that came out of the ocean to have him handle something."
Bruce winced. "Okay." Clint grinned because he loved watching Xander fluster people. "When?"
"High school."
"Huh. At least he didn't die of it. That sort of DNA tampering can do that."
"Xander told me that the rest of the team changed and they detoxed him since he'd only been exposed for a few weeks. I had to get him drunk to get him to tell me that."
Bruce considered it. "This drug...."
"I had Dawn find it and send me the bottle in an evidence envelope care of here so you could test it, Doc. It's lasted for over four days and I think something's even more screwy than usual."
"Thank you. When should it be here?"
"I haven't checked the mail today but I'd expect tomorrow."
"I can go look for that. Want me to look at him?"
Clint shook his head. "It's like a hangover times a tornado in his brain from what he said. It's been four days."
"I'll look at that drug, make sure it's not changing his DNA again or making him sick in other ways."
"We don't look at the antibodies in his blood because then someone at SHIELD will find out and use him to get someone biotech like," Clint said firmly but quietly.
"I can do that." He went to check the Avengers mail tub. It was in there and the vial was nicely marked with a sample number from the CDC lab. That was not a good sign. He called them. They said that sample was still there. He argued and sent them a picture of the bottle so someone went to check. So he got to shove Xander into quarantine with Clint and Kate too. Bruce was not happy. Clint wasn't happy. Kate just sighed and asked for a few books to read. Xander hadn't woken up yet and when Bruce looked at his blood on a system that SHIELD couldn't hack into, one at a college he knew of, it was not good. He came back and held up the result sheet. Clint just nodded and shrugged. "We knew?"
"I knew some," he corrected. He pointed. "That was Murray in Uganda. Xander took him out and down but he threw the vial at Xander and it broke on his arm. That one's.... no clue. That may be the hyena taint?" He shrugged. "It's an animal version?"
"Yes it is. Though it's easily transmitted to humans. A what about a hyena?"
"Before the fish taint, Doc." Clint grinned. "He got possessed."
"This is going to drive me nuts."
"Probably." Clint called Natasha. "Do we have a full medical file on Xander? The stuff Willow gave him wasn't making him high, it was making him hallucinate. Oh, Doc, he flew."
"Great. I'll call the CDC back so they can look into that." He walked off to do that. The results got shredded before anyone else could see.
Clint listened. "We are at the tower. No, Rosenburg, Natasha. Sure, if you want. Stark does want to look at those weapons if we can manage it." He listened. "That's great. Quarantine with Katie." He grinned at her. "She said hi." He listened to her again. "Yeah, she did. Then stuck him on a damn plane up here. Thanks." He hung up. "Thankfully someone will walk the dog."
"Steve seems to like Lucky," Kate said with a grin. "Though it's cute how Xander keeps cooing at him and cuddling him."
"Lucky's a good friend and he knows that Xander needs to rest." He looked at her. "Don't get fixated."
"I'm not!" She swatted him on the arm. "I'm not like that, thank you."
"Good. He usually dates arms dealers and agents like Natasha."
"So yeah, I'm not dangerous enough for him," she agreed. Suits stomped in. "Um, who are they?"
"No clue," Clint said. He stared at them. "Who are you?"
"We're with the NIH, Mr. Barton."
"It's Agent Barton and screw you. We trust Doctor Banner to treat us. You can consult."
A woman rushed in and around them. "Oh, no, Xander. What happened this time? Did you get sick?"
"Darcy?" Clint asked.
She grinned and waved. "Hi. Xander met us when he was saving us from an idiot douchebag nozzle at the bar." She looked at them then at the suits. "You guys realize Xander doesn't have standard DNA so it's probably not passable to normal people, right? And that he can destroy each and every one of you?" She saw the decontamination suit hanging behind a curtain and put it on then came into the forceshield to come help them with Xander. "Hey." She could ignore the ignorant people that were looking very uneasy.
Xander blinked awake at her petting him then grinned. "Hi, Darcy."
"Hi, Xander." She hugged him. "What's wrong?"
"Willow gave me stuff. Why are you in the ET suit?"
"Because the stuff she gave you wasn't a drug, it was a disease," Clint said dryly. "I really have to thank her sometime in the future."
"We have arrows for that," Kate quipped. "Hi, Kate Bishop."
"Darcy Lewis. I work with Thor's sweetie as her lab assistant." She shook her hand with a grin. "Xander's DNA means you probably can't catch anything."
"That's fine. I'm just chilling here." She waved the book a bit. Darcy grinned at her and showed her how to turn on music. Clint changed the station on them but that was him being Clint.
Bruce walked in. "Who are you and why are you in the Avengers infirmary?" he demanded.
"We're here to take samples, Doctor Banner," one said. "We have government permission."
Xander blinked at them. "Bull fucking shit, dude. Don't make me call the President." They laughed. Xander patted Clint down until he found his phone, dialing it from memory. It was a new president, one they hadn't worked with often. "Hey, it's Xander. I'm presently in the Avengers infirmary because Willow shot me full of something I thought was a drug but happened to be some sort of sample?"
"A CDC sample," Bruce said.
"Doctor Banner said it was a CDC sample and these NID motherfuckers are here for samples. Can I whip them to death? Yeah, I'm sure they're NID not whoever they're pretending to be. Apparently one thinks I don't remember pulling him off a slayer last year. How is that bite mark from the slayer's pet doing?" he asked him. He put it on speaker when Clint pointed at that button since he was squinting at the phone.
"Doctor Banner, what did she inject him with and is it going to compromise the main slayer house?" the president asked.
"I'm not sure, they wouldn't tell me more than it was contagious but not usually fatal, sir. I'm running it now to see. I've also informed them that she put him on a plane after drugging him."
"Oh, charming! Where in the hell is Rosenburg, Harris?"
"My people have her. Again. I'm hoping Agent Romanoff is still there to beat her to death."
"Me too." He cleared his throat. "No, as I have been handed a file on why we do not allow Harris' blood into the general population, any lab, any lab within SHIELD or another government agency, or anywhere else if we can help it, no. No samples that don't need to be taken or run, Banner. Whoever they are no samples at all. The CDC guys can disclose whatever to you that you need but just...don't."
"I ran it at a private lab where no one could snoop," he admitted. "It's not online, not able to be hacked into, and it's all been erased when I saw the first thing that came up, sir."
"Good! Don't do it again! Before he draws a different sort of bad guy. Harris, Russia?"
"I could've let them keep losing priests but then they'd blame us anyway. Can I punch him in the nose?"
"If you want; I wouldn't do more than laugh but you never heard me say that, kid. The slayer house?"
"Call.... Well, Belinda or Mercy is up here. Belinda's in Brazil so that might be a struggle to get her up there. I'll trust Stark to handle getting them or doing oversight of my girls. Clint likes him and I like Clint like a brother."
"Okay, good. If that's a *liking* him, we're all for that."
"Not really," Clint said dryly. "We're like siblings, sir."
"Fine. Whatever. How about Agent Romanoff?"
"I love flirting with her but she's still denying me," Xander said dryly. "She told me last week when I called her about the alien weapons we found that she's more afraid of all the noise I make my lovers do than anything."
"That sucks, kid. Okay, have Stark send someone down to figure it out for them. I'll get Belinda up to handle the main house for you. I'll even call Mr. Giles."
"Oops, I forgot."
"It's fine. Anything else I should hear?"
"He used the newly stolen from the arms dealer piece of crap from Justin Hammer's people to fry the engine of a Russian mobster's car," Clint said. "The NYPD just nodded and walked away to clean up the mess when they tried to break in."
"Did they want him to sleep with or just to kill?" the president asked.
"They were annoying and I was trying to nap all this off," Xander admitted. "The bro-douches really need a new dictionary too."
"Oh, them. I've heard about them. Good luck with it, boys." He hung up.
Xander put his head back down, hugging Darcy. "You should move in case they try to shoot us."
"I should but I can hide behind Clint." She grinned. "You are in for some fussing."
"I like fussing. No one ever fusses anymore," he said quietly. "They all want my penis and not me. It's worse than Anya was at times."
"Awww." She hugged him. When guns came out, she did indeed move behind Clint and went back to hugging Xander to keep him from hopping up to kill them. Bruce, however, started to get mad. The NID or whoever were not amused and tried to shoot him. Which brought Stark and Rogers back to deal with them with the Hulk.
"Hulk not happy," he sneered. "Hulk very not happy."
"Wow," Kate said. "I wonder where the extra mass comes from."
"Scientist?" Darcy asked with a grin.
"The other Hawkeye." She grinned back.
Hulk stared at her. "Girls weird." They smirked and waved. One of the NID guys tried to shoot him and ended up being flung through a wall. Xander clapped with Darcy and rated it. Hulk huffed but Steve was making him calm down before he destroyed the lab while Stark finished dealing with the idiots.
"Hey, Stark, it wasn't a drug. It was a sample she stole from the CDC," Clint said.
Stark looked at him. "What?" Clint nodded, pointing at the vial. He went to look. "Fuck! And he flew."
"Hulk call people," he said. "Iron suit not get mad iron panties."
"Sorry." He patted him on the arm. "The main house?"
"Get Belinda from Brazil if the president can't," Kate said with a small wave. "He called him."
"Good!" He stomped off to send people he trusted down there to see how she had gotten the sample and if anyone else was sick. That made sense with the way Xander was feeling and his screwy DNA wasn't a guarantee it wouldn't pass on.
"Wow," Kate said finally. "I thought the bro dudes were excitement."
"Katie," Clint complained.
Darcy shrugged. "We met Xander when he was taking out a biker gang full of demons with a sword. My boss asked him if he was Asgardian."
"That might explain a lot but no," Clint said dryly. "He's not." He looked down at Xander then went to the bathroom.
"Give me a sample while you're in there," Banner called, mostly back to human again. "You as well, Kate." He stared at Darcy. "At least you used the suit."
She grinned. "I work with Jane Foster. I came up to see if Thor was here to give him a message for her, and so I could go to the symposium next week. Then I saw the Xander attack on the whining-about-reality news channel."
"I haven't heard anything about Thor recently but I'll check." He went back to his sample from the vial. He turned to look at her. "A demon biker gang with a sword?"
"He said he didn't have enough bullets," Darcy said with a slight shrug and a grin. "So he beheaded them instead. He wanted to claim one of the bikes but it was possessed and he didn't want to add that to his hyena and soldier."
Bruce walked off rubbing his head.
Darcy shrugged. "I guess he just doesn't understand a guy like Xander."
Kate nodded. "Me either but it's nice in a way. I can see why Clint considers him like a sibling."
***
Steve Rogers walked into the slayer house. It was his first time there. It was a nice house, a bit shabby in places but it housed a lot of girls so he guessed that was normal. Not like all girls crocheted or anything these days. He smiled at the head slayer. "Miss Summers. Steve Rogers." He shook her hand.
"I don't understand why SHIELD is doing all this," she said with a wave at the agents looking things over. "It's not like we didn't settle that little squabble with Dawn and stuff."
"It's not about that. Willow Rosenburg injected Xander with something."
"She said it was a drug to help him calm down because he was moping a lot."
"He was grieving for a former lover he had just buried the day before from what he said, and it wasn't a drug."
"She said it was a drug."
"No, it was a sample of a contagious disease from the CDC."
"We found she didn't steal it, Captain, she bought it," one of the agents said. "None of the people on the plane with him have shown any signs of being infected and were warned in case something pops up in the next two weeks."
"That's good."
Buffy sat down, curling up in her chair. "Willow hasn't been the same since those people took her to fix her."
"Those people are some of Xander's ex's and are the same group that's helping you," Steve said, sitting across from her. "A few of his ex's set it up so there'd still be help even if something happened to Xander."
"I... I didn't know that. Is that why she turned so mean?"
"I don't think it was them making her do physical exercises and training so she could stand a full patrol route with you," Steve said. "I know I was told that she was hacking long before they took her in. That's why they took her in and she had been hacking Xander's emails for over a year. She hadn't even told him that a few of his ex's had died." Buffy slumped farther and grimaced, making a duck face at the end. "I think all that was a final straw moment and Xander had to so he was protected and so your girls were. It seems like Willow was stepping back into the dark again."
"She might have been. She was hacking?" He nodded. "We're sure?"
"Unless you know someone else who would've gotten into his emails and erased all of them from the law firm?"
"No," she admitted. "None of my girls can hack." She looked around at the agents then at him. "So why all this?"
"To make sure she doesn't have any other samples that she's bought or anything else that might hurt you or someone else. I have never heard the president swear until he was told that Willow had drugged him and put him on a plane, but it turned out to be a sample of something the CDC was studying. That would've infected anyone on the ride there, at the airport, everyone on the plane, at the other airport, however he got to Clint's apartment, and then half of the Avengers team because we showed up when Xander went after a demon with his axe, and a few Russian mob guys."
"Is that because of the demon he had to take out over there?" she asked.
"No. They're like the Italian mob you see on movies," one of the agents told her. "Only Russian and more ruthless. We were told they tried to pick on him."
"Oh. Well, okay. The only Russian I know is Agent Romanoff and she's really scary."
"Yes, they made her that way," Steve agreed. "Clint was being bothered by some of them and they tried to attack."
"Is that the Bro-Coat Mafia guys?" she asked. "I got a weird text from Xander about them."
"Yes it is," Steve said, glaring at an agent that laughed. "Apparently their English is a bit deficient since every other word out of their mouths seems to be 'bro'," he told that agent.
"We've seen them, Captain. Yes that name fits them well. That and track suit wearing slugs like Miss Bishop named them."
Steve nodded. "They did seem to be, yes." He looked at her again. "We'd like to help you, Giles, and Xander work all this out."
"Giles sided with Xander," she pouted.
"We had the NID invading Avengers tower to try to get samples off Xander," he countered. She shuddered. "Beyond that, she could've started a world-wide plague moment thanks to what she did. I'm not sure if she knew what she bought."
"She's really smart."
"Yes but she has no sense," Steve said. "She has less sense than Stark does when he's been drunk all weekend and now he's creating."
"The president did want us to take her into custody," that agent said. "If we could hold her."
"Xander's people have her back," Steve said. "They called to report they had captured her after she had run away because they punished her for doing bad things again. You might talk with Agent Romanoff. She was over there the last I heard."
"We can do that, sir." They got back to their searching. All the porn was nicely being put away for the girls instead of letting it hide under the couch where the baby they had in the house could teeth on it again.
"That's her mom's," Buffy said.
"It's not really appropriate for a baby to view," one of the agents said with a smile. "She's a bit too young to need to see naked guys hustling for dick." Buffy blushed, ducking her head, but nodded. "Did Harris let her do that?"
"Xander's been here and there for the last few months handling things the girls couldn't. He's been in Germany, Malaysia, Germany, Russia, two of the slayers in Africa needed him, Mexico because one of our girls disappeared but he found her and rescued her." The agents all shuddered. "She said he called the cops and they got her out of there with the other hostages."
"No, his people in Malaysia helped him bust in and beat the crap out of them," that agent said with a slight smile. "We were all real impressed because then the officers got to arrest them for it, even though they were just as dirty. He handed the US hostages to the embassy, got the slayer home and moved, with her family, and then went to the trial in England of that former watcher who had tried to hurt one of the girls on purpose to get a sacrifice. Then Germany again to deal with that same demon cult that the girls took down but missed some members of."
Buffy frowned. "Xander can't do that. He's missing an eye. That's agent stuff and they don't allow them to be missing body parts." She looked at Steve.
"Director Fury's missing an eye too and he's not the man I'd want to meet in a dark alley if I was on the wrong side."
"Really? Huh. I didn't know that about Xander." She paused. "Is he using that group to become some sort of evil overlord?"
"It was offered but he said he turned it down," Steve said. Faith stomped in. He stood up. "Slayer Faith, Steve Rogers."
She stared then shook his hand. "Why is Captain America here? And what's with the suit patrol?"
"That drug Willow said she shot Xander with to make him quit moping was apparently a disease," Buffy said.
Faith turned and kicked a wall. "I'll fix it later," she said as she kicked it a few more times. She looked at Steve again. "And she's...."
"In Malaysia with the people that Xander's ex put together," Buffy said. "All those commando sorts? Apparently some of his ex's wanted us to be protected in case we lost Xander."
"It's going to be a while before he's allowed out of the infirmary," Steve said. "Probably at least another two weeks. It's bad enough that Stark came up to sit and fuss at him the other day." Faith glared at him. "He'll live but he's got a pretty good fever at the moment that won't go below a hundred."
"Damn it," Faith complained. "Any other bad news?"
"Willow almost started a plague but Xander's got the fish taint so it didn't pass on," Buffy said, staring at her. "I have no idea what we're doing."
"We're going to hold a talk in a few days," Steve said. "Our team, some of his people, some of SHIELD's people." Buffy smiled and nodded at that. "You can visit him while you're in New York."
"No can do," Faith sighed. "They're not letting us fly again."
"There's the train," Steve said. They looked confused. "Guys, doesn't the train connect?"
"Looking, Captain," one said, typing it into his phone. "There is one direct and three non-direct. The direct leaves in the morning and gets there about dinner time. It's a twelve hour trip. It's also the cheapest. It says it has a dining car, checked baggage, and a lounge but it does not list disabled services." He looked up. "Looks like it runs most days." He put his phone up and got back to work. "Estimated cost per seat was seventy-seven dollars plus fees and taxes."
"That's a lot cheaper than flying," Buffy said, looking at Faith.
"I can go if you can't."
"No, we can both go. Belinda has the house. Xander had her sent for when he got up there."
"He sent for her through the president when we put him into quarantine," Steve said.
"We had to get her up here," one of the agents said more quietly. "The airlines did not want to let her fly."
"We need to fix that," Buffy said. "We tried. We can do it again."
"We can ask Director Fury if he can help," Faith said. "Since it looks like he'll be at that meeting?" Steve nodded with a grin. "Good. Think he might?"
"I don't think it's a problem he's seen yet, but I'll bring it to his attention so he can check before the meeting." The girls both smiled at him. "I learned how hard you girls have it and I support you guys. You need more backup." Buffy beamed and nodded. He stood up. "Let me go back up there. Agents?"
"We're good, sir. Nearly done if you wanted to wait."
"Stark flew me."
"In person?" Buffy asked, eyes wide.
"No, not in the suit. He joked he would've but it's too far and I'd get chilled from the wind."
"Awww," Buffy cooed. "He's so cool."
"Some days, but then others he hasn't slept in about three days and he's living on coffee. Those days he's just scary." Buffy hugged him. "I'll see you at the meeting, ladies." He shook their hands and left. He did text Stark about what she had said. It was nice that the slayers liked them too. He paused when he heard Buffy and Faith talking about Stark.
"I need a man like Stark," Buffy sighed.
"Should've dated Kennedy when she was alive, B," Faith quipped back. "Not like we're good trophy wives."
Steve walked off adding that into his text. That was so cute. Buffy did need a good boyfriend. Maybe Tony knew someone.
***
Steve got taken off the plane and whisked to the SHIELD building they were using while completing the helicarrier repairs. He thanked Stark's driver Happy quietly then headed inside. "I talked to Buffy, who was unaware of a few things, and then Faith when she showed up. They'll both be up here for the talks if possible."
Fury nodded. "Why isn't it possible?"
"The airlines, again," Stark said dryly.
"What?" Hill asked. "They got that fixed." Fury glared at her until she went on. "The US airlines do not want to fly slayers anywhere, sir. They said they constitute a danger to flights if demons try to get the slayers."
"The injunction was only for that one flight and they're carrying on the lawsuit," Stark said. "The judge said that each new emergency can be brought to his attention and he'll rule specifically based on the flight plans made." He looked at Fury. "Virgin added themselves in with their recent 'slayer, what's a slayer' thing. Apparently they've gotten onto the whole British 'I see nothing' train about them. Tried to keep one of them from bringing her weapons in checked baggage. She called Xander for help and Barton told her how to ship the weapons." He looked over as Natasha came off the elevator. "Good morning," he said with a smirk. "Have a bad flight?"
"No, not in the least, though I could not rest due to the chattering of the entire high school band sitting behind me." She sat down.
"The weapons?" Tony asked quietly.
"In your safe, Stark." He grinned and nodded. "Your AI helped me put them in there."
"That's fine. I'll look over them later."
"What weapons?" Fury demanded.
"There was a realm breach that led to someone on that side tossing over weapons from a tv show," Stark said. "Xander had his people confiscate them and he called Romanoff to handle it since he didn't want to ship it and have them possibly stolen," Tony said.
She nodded. "They are very interesting and one of the trainees there identified which show they came from. Looking them up through various fan sites gave us how they should operate and at what level but most of them are not presently able to."
"He asked me to look them over," Stark said.
"That's reasonable I guess," Fury said. "At least they're not in the hands of his people." He shook his head. "Romanoff, any chance of taking them out and down?"
"I don't think it's wise since they're handling backing up the slayers and rescuing the ones that Xander can't get to," she said. "No one else would've helped him in Mexico with that stolen slayer."
"Buffy found out that he had done that, not us," Steve told her with a grin. "She thought Xander wasn't able to do agent things because of his eye."
She shook her head. "We're often amazed when we run into him in the field."
"Darcy said that he used a sword to behead a demon biker gang," Bruce said. "No mention of how injured he was afterward." Natasha looked confused. "Thor's Lady Jane's lab assistant," he said with smile. "She's ...very vibrant."
"Oh, her. I've seen her dossier in the files. She stood up to Coulson to get her iPod back. Repeatedly."
"Wow, she has balls," Tony said. "I thought she was just perky and liked to coo and fuss over Xander."
"She's not evil," Natasha said.
"I have the feeling there's something more there," Steve said with a grin. "Not sure though." Fury stared at him. "At the main slayer house, there's a picture of her at graduation with one of the slayers, arm around her shoulders, grinning like they were drunk or really too happy to be alive."
Stark snapped his fingers. "Mary Jo. She's in PR locally. She applied for a job with us and it was listed on there but that she had chosen to have a career and be backup for a local slayer if needed due to a bit of asthma that popped up in college. Pepper's interviewing her next week. I'll tell Darcy later since she was listed as a reference."
Natasha texted Clint's phone. "I'll let him. He's probably bored." She got back a virtual big hug back and nodded. "They'll meet for drinks or something." She put her phone up.
"I put a game system in the infirmary for him and Kate," Tony said. "Harris is still exhausted."
"He never sleeps," she told him. "Ever. Each time he starts to go down that way to catch up, he gets attacked. He lives on three to four hours of sleep a night for months on end." Steve stared at her. "Between visions, nightmares, and attacks, he never gets to rest. Anytime he wants to it has to be somewhere safe enough that he won't get attacked."
"Which my infirmary in our tower is," Tony said. "Still good for him."
She nodded. "Hopefully. The more bouncy he is, the more he needs rest."
"I know he got a text earlier that upset him," Bruce said.
"It must've been about one of his people. One had a mysterious car crash in the middle of nowhere without any help thanks to their former bosses who decided that working with the slayers is insulting their training."
"I'd hate to see him avenge them," Stark said quietly. Then shuddered.
Natasha smiled. "I don't think that will be the problem we'll have with that."
"Really?"
She nodded. "Probably. That reminds me, we have a problem occurring. His people are running to save some of the slayers that are in danger in Russia. The higher ups are outraged that a demon defiled their biggest church. Especially since two more appeared afterward to avenge their fallen comrade. Whoever is summoning them also summoned back the dead priests the first one had killed as zombies to make the head patriarch quit complaining about demons having killed some of his priests.
"One of the girls that had responded to Germany's emergency went there to kill them, and was injured when the patriarch demanded she take it outside the church. It nearly made her lose but then someone killed one with a grenade so she took out the other one, then the zombies. They're decrying the Council, the slayers, all that as being unnatural and trying to destroy the church. The government's put out a hunt order on the girls."
"How many in their domain?" Fury asked.
"Three, all under the age of ten," she said quietly. "They're going to be safe if they can help it. Too many of them know their way around Russia and their intelligence networks."
Stark grinned. "Is Xander a recruiting poster for the former KGB agents?" he joked.
"Quite possibly." She looked at Fury again. "He still loathes them. I'm told that the same summoner got a different church this time and he's now railing that the Council is summoning them."
"I'm sure Giles is in a fit," he said.
"He went on the news today," she said. "Full press attention." Fury winced. That was not the Council way. "He told the reporter it was not them, exactly what it took to summon one of those or make the zombies, and how they had tried to charge his slayer for saving lives. She's been allowed to leave, with agents escorting her. She had to get medical treatment in Germany and called in the SOS from there. Within hours, everyone was moving and then we heard he had put a hunt and capture order on the young slayers."
"Good to know," Fury said. "Harris heard?"
"Not that I'm aware of. I'll tell him later." Fury nodded and walked off to call Giles to talk to him. She looked at Tony. "Is he in any shape to respond?"
"No," Bruce said. "Even if he would wake up for a week, he's still weak, has a strong headache with sensory spikes every now and then, and he's wobbly."
"All of which hasn't stopped him in the past," she warned. "He fought one battle in Africa after getting out of the hospital. They didn't want to release him but they did." Bruce grimaced. "He had malaria then."
"Okay, we can be on the lookout for it and point out people have handled it for him."
Natasha sent an email from her phone to someone and put it back. They'd send her a status message later for Xander.
Fury came back. "Giles thinks he knows who it is. He can't be sure and he can't get them to come out openly."
"Which is what Xander would normally do for him," Stark said. "Walk in there, haul the guy out, point out he was the summoner, not them, and then hike off after punching whichever official came to protest that it couldn't be one of *their* people."
"If he'll let me know I can pass that on," Natasha said. Fury slid down a name. She texted that to the same name and address. That could definitely help them. At least be a diversion so they could sneak the girls off. The meeting broke up and they went back to the tower, finding Xander struggling to get up off his bed while Clint held him down. She walked over to him, smoothing a hand over his forehead. "Petrie has it." He went limp, staring at her. "It will be handled." He nodded, relaxing. Clint let him go. "You should finish catching up on your rest. I'll let you know if someone updates me." She left them alone.
Xander looked at Clint. "I could go help."
"No you can't. You're still sick. Your fever won't come down."
"Not the first time."
"Yay. This time you don't have to. You have people who can help you do it." Xander sighed but nodded. "Next time you can do it."
"I'm hoping this doesn't create the next time."
"Us too, but if it does, we'll help you guys handle it." Xander nodded, flipping onto his side. "Good, before I told Darcy."
"Don't pick on Darcy," Xander said firmly. "It's nice that she fusses."
"It is. You need more people to fuss over you and she's a great girl." He grinned. "Not your usual type." Xander stuck his tongue out at him. "I'd never make fun or pick on Darcy fussing at you. If you were my type I'd be fussing too." Xander nodded, snuggling in again. "You finish your long overdue nap. I'll keep me and Kate occupied."
"Thanks."
"Welcome." He went to check on Kate in her curtained-off room in the infirmary. Bruce had given her girl privacy as he named it. "Hey. You good?"
"I'm good, Clint." She grinned. "Did you get him to finish his nap?"
"I did." He hopped up on the foot of her bed. "You sure you're okay?"
"I'm just hanging out here since I'm not sick. I'm a bit bored but I've caught up on all my homework and all that stuff." She grinned. "Worry about him getting better. He never seems to get better."
"Guys with genetic things can be tough to get better quickly," he said. "There's a few of them in SHIELD that if they even get a cold are out for months."
"Huh. How would he handle this on the job?"
"He'd ignore it and go back to work."
She shook her head. "All guys are dumb."
"Sometimes, but so are girls," he said with a smirk. She kicked him but grinned back. "Have you seen the dog?"
"Not today. I caught him on Xander's bed cuddling him last night."
"Aww. I didn't know that. I wonder if Bruce knows that."
"Yes, he does," he called from the lab area. "He heartily approves if it means that Xander can finish his long nap."
"Shh!" Xander yelled. "Sleeping!"
"Sorry," he said more quietly. He walked out the infirmary door and pointed. "Go ahead, Lucky." He ran in to check on his humans. Clint first of course, he had rescued him and saved him. Clint got lapped and pawed at. Then Kate got some. When he was full of new pets he ran over to check on Xander, woofing quietly. Xander patted the bed so he hopped up and settled in. This crazy pup needed his comfort. When Clint came over to check on him, he lapped him and wagged his tail for more pets. Clint grinned and petted him, going back to Kate's room. Lucky settled in to be cuddled. This one was nice about it, and petted while he was asleep.
Bruce smiled, taking photos of all that. It was adorable and the slayers would probably like to see them.
***
Clint woke up hearing Xander's phone ring. "Shit," he muttered, getting up to answer it before Xander could. Nope, not a chance. Xander already had it. "Good news?" he asked quietly, glancing at Kate, who was fully asleep with Lucky helping her.
Xander nodded, listening. Then he said a quiet 'thank you' and 'let me know'. He listened some more. "I can help."
"Quarantine means you cannot help," Clint reminded him.
"Pretty sure I'm not contagious, Clint." He listened. "Yeah, I can sideswipe that by playing bait. Thanks." He hung up. "Russia has put out a hit on all the slayers." Clint winced. "One of their top people took it for them. He's going to cause an emergency that we'd all have to show up at. If I can sideswipe the plan by being captured first, because there's a nicely huge new sum on my head, then we can figure it out while your team stops it. Mine's busy moving all the slayers to the safety fallbacks."
Clint considered it. "That's not a great plan."
"It's the only one we've got." He shrugged. "Can I borrow a shirt?"
"No. You're in quarantine."
"I'm not contagious and I'm not going to risk a single slayer's life," he said firmly, staring at him. "I can go out shirtless." Clint got him one and tossed it over. "Thanks." He pulled on his clean pants and underwear, then his boots and stood up. He looked around. "Where's my axe and stuff?"
"Probably in the weapons closet," he said. "Main floor, right beside the tv the last I knew."
Xander nodded, heading out to get it. He knew Stark could probably find him with his AI if he was awake but he wasn't sure if he was or not. Then again, Stark wouldn't stop him. He'd understand. He found his weapons in the cabinet, including the sword still on his necklace. He put it on and closed the door softly, turning to find Steve there. "They're trying to kill all the slayers."
"You're sick, Xander."
"Yup, oh well." He put his hands into his pocket. "It's my duty to protect them."
"SHIELD can help."
"Later. They'll be needed to help later." He looked in his pocket, pulling out his keychain. He looked at them. "I left the car in Cleveland. Why did I pick up my keys?" He had pressed the button that put out demon-created knockout gas. Steve slumped over. "Oh, yeah, that reason. You'll wake up in about an hour, Steve. Be safe." He walked around him and outside. Of course, the Bro-Coat Mafia members were waiting in lurk. He fought two of them off but got captured. He stared at them once they had him tied to a chair. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Our people have a very high price on your head," one said with a grin.
"I know that. I was going to talk to them about it."
"We can make that meeting happen sooner. We want to see you go against one of them."
"I can show you what I'm going to do to them," Xander said with a grin. "Untie my hands."
"Why would we?"
"Not like I can do anything with them tied."
"I think that's the point," he laughed. Xander shifted to cross his feet. "You comfy, bro?"
"Yeah, I am." He kicked out and got the guy in the nuts. "You?" He stood up and batted the other guy with the chair, which broke it. "That's handy." He wiggled out of it and used the stakes that used to be chair legs to give them serious, incapacitating, but not fatal injuries. "You stay there, dude. By the way, the way you use Bro is wrong. Bro is a special term. Dude is the general term. I had to teach way too many slayers english to let that one stand." He walked out, going to hunt down this guy so he could be bait.
***
Clint came out of the infirmary. "Steve," he said, helping him up. "Did that actually work on you?"
"Made me dizzy. Funny taste in my mouth." He wobbled a bit. "Headache just like he said."
Stark came storming out of the elevator. "Why did Harris attack him?" he demanded. "I didn't think he was evil or going to repay hospitality that way."
Clint shook his head. "Russia put out a hit on all the slayers. Steve tried to stop him, Stark. So did I." Stark gaped. "Someone told him that one of their better hitters was going to create an emergency that would draw all the slayers, even the ones that don't patrol. He went to stop it."
Stark closed his mouth. "Okay, why?"
"It's what he thinks will work. Others are helping the slayers get to safety. Later on, we may need SHIELD to help with the battle if it happens."
"Shit," Stark said. "Okay, this is not good."
"No it's not," Steve agreed. "Get the girls in Cleveland?" Clint shook his head. "Why not?"
"They're already being moved as far as I know."
"Leave them a message somehow," Steve said. Clint nodded, sending them a text. They went to get dressed so they could help however it was needed.
***
Xander ran into the guy that he needed, he had his intended victim. Xander looked at the sorcerer. "You started shit that I have to finish," he said in Russian. He led him outside of the house, tossing him at the feet of the police that were responding. "He's the one that summoned the demons in the church," he said slowly and clearly, talking down to them. "Some of us don't have magic to do that. If I had, I would've hit somewhere other than a church. We hate dealing with them and their fits. Why would we give ourselves more of that?" He walked off. He was leading the assassin off. He knew that. He planned on it. He had already planned where to have himself taken. That wouldn't be where it happened but close enough. Xander looked at the guy once he was tied up again. "So now that you have me...."
"You're worth a lot of money to certain people," he said in Russian.
Xander nodded. "I know that. Pity." The man sneered. Xander smirked. "You're not getting a single slayer."
"Others can take the easy ones."
"The slayers aren't easy. You can't discount them because they're girls."
"I know not to discount women. You're not well enough trained to train them to resist us. Beyond that, no one gets up from a head shot."
"Actually, Buffy might. Not really sure how Willow brought her back to life that time. She does seem to heal faster and stuff." The assassin blinked. "Beyond that, do you think that the witches are going to not protect them? You're not the first group that wanted to take out the slayers. The Vatican is really upset that we took out their attempt. It was kinda fun watching the Curia swear."
The assassin watched him. "How do they know to protect them?"
"Some of us have friends who like hearing information." He got smirked at and then punched. Xander shook it off. "Thanks. I was starting to nap again." He yawned. "You feel better, dude? And hey, at least you don't say 'bro' all the time like the Russian mob guys I ran into." He got hit again. The assassin got to work beating him. Xander yawned through most of it, even though some of them did hurt. Showing it would be a weakness the asshole could work with.
***
Natasha's phone rang. "An update?" she answered. She heard. She winced. "That is not good. Where?" She nodded. "We can manage that." She heard something that made her pause. "Really? You're sure?" She nodded. "We can handle that. Where?" She nodded once. "We will do that. Thank you." She hung up. "Steve, you and I need to go after the assassin with Xander before they get to Sunnydale. There's two others who are going to try something." She looked at Clint, who nodded. "The girls are almost all safe outside Buffy and two others handling the hellmouth in Cleveland. There would be an uprising if they left it uncovered. These ones volunteered." She left with Steve, hissing in his ear. Steve shuddered. "We must."
"Do we know who he is?"
"I do. He helped train me."
"Okay. I can do that." They headed out on a SHIELD jet.
Stark looked at Clint. "Any idea?"
"Has to be related to her past. There's a few assassins she'd never take on without backup."
"Good to know." He looked around. "Talk to Fury, get the slayers still there help. We need to get out west if they're going to hit Sunnydale. Or would they hit Cleveland?"
"Sunnydale is still there, but it's fenced off," Clint said. "Not that hard to sneak over but there's no ground cover. I don't think any of them would take out a city just to get a group of slayers. Anyone who could wouldn't benefit. Unless they really had no idea what they were dealing with." He called someone. "Sir, Clint Barton, have you been briefed about the Russians putting out a contract on the slayers?" He waited while he choked. "Yes, sir, that's what I said. Xander's gotten most of the girls out of the way, except a few who decided they had to be there to keep the city safe. Xander's off with one of the assassins to lead him astray. Romanoff, sir. With Rogers."
He listened. "We're thinking it'll be Sunnydale but we're not certain. Yes, they moved the slayers. Exactly. Yes, sir, I can find proof of it. Let me check my email." Stark was already pulling it up. "There's a whole file on it. Including who they went to. I can do that, sir." He hung up. "That has to go to DC. Get me a copy for Fury." He called him. "Meet us, it's an emergency, sir," he ordered. "Like there's a contract out on all the slayers and someone has a plan to create a situation that will bring them all to deal with it."
He hung up. The emails were printed. Stark browsed the other ones and printed them, handing them over. Clint copied them and they went up to the roof because they heard the jet coming down. Stark was in his suit within a minute. Banner was up there in something that would be destroyed when he changed. Clint had all his arrows and his bow. Kate was still in the infirmary and was going to stay there. He sent her a text message as he walked to make sure she'd stay safely out of this.
"This had better be good, Barton," Fury said from the seat on the quinjet. Clint handed him a copy of the emails. He read it over, his good eye narrowing. "That's bad." He looked up. "Harris still sick?"
"Diverting the main assassin that's going to be the hardest to keep off the slayers. Natasha and Rogers are going to save him."
"Not a bad plan. Hers?" Clint nodded. "Why?"
"There's a few that're on her too hard list," Clint said.
"Good to know. Anything else?"
"Not yet," Clint said.
"The slayers?" Bruce asked. "Can we help them?"
"I'll get a team down to help protect them on patrol, or go on patrol for them. How many girls?"
"Three and Buffy."
"She's a leader," Fury agreed. "Anything else?"
"Not yet," Stark said. "He called someone and said we need to pause in DC. I can do that and then meet them back there." Clint handed him those pages, already folded. He tucked it into a pocket in his suit then took off.
Clint looked at his boss. "If they do something to open that hellmouth we're all screwed. We don't think they'll try Cleveland. They can't be that stupid. That main assassin would use a feint and a fake device. The lower ones may use the real thing. Xander's contacts said they're looking for something right now."
"If so, we'll end them with prejudice," Fury said. He got off the jet, letting it take off as he got taken back to SHIELD. He walked in and tossed those papers at Hill. "It's worse than Loki."
She read them over, sending teams where they needed to go. Including some of their better undercover agents to help the slayers at their fallback. They had been told where it was but it wasn't in any system anywhere. They could back up Xander's teams.
***
Xander yawned as he woke up, blinking a few times. "Sorry, dude. I was just sick thanks to Willow." He shrugged slightly because he was still tied to a chair. "Just got out of quarantine."
"Really? Anything good?" he asked.
"No comment and there's a virus in every single computer system in the US that will remove any results. Sorry but I'm a bit paranoid."
"How did you do that? You're not a hacker."
"I have a friend who is. And no, not Willow."
"You met a hacker?" he asked dryly.
"I know a few who can hack. That one, he was fun." He grinned.
"You won't stop that."
"I will. You have no idea what I can do."
"I read your file."
Xander burst out laughing. "Really? That thing's *so* damn wrong, dude. It's missed nearly everything. It missed years of stuff. Do you really trust a file to tell you what someone can do?"
"No, but it's a start." He stared at him. "You know artillery." Xander nodded. "You're good with a sword. I've seen film of other battles."
"I can't hide those so I'll give you that one. Only a sword?"
"I've seen you with a crossbow."
"There's that too. We use them on patrol a lot."
"That makes sense." He looked over the file for show. "I see you've been to Africa. Asia. South America. Not Central?"
"No, I've had to go through there a few times to help the local slayers. It was kind of interesting at times." He crossed his legs. "Anything in particular you want to chat about to see if I was there?"
"There was a warlord in Uganda."
"Which one? There's like dozens."
"Herbert."
"Not me. I was going for him but the other asshole got him first. Then again, I had to take out that one to get a slayer free."
The guy blinked. "You killed a warlord?"
Xander nodded. "Yeah."
"You admit to it?"
"Yup. Before you have a thought about trying to get me charged or putting it out in the media to make us look bad, the president at the time had a full file on everything I did. He demanded and I gave him more detailed ones than I gave Giles. He demanded. I told Giles. He just sighed and cleaned his glasses again." He shrugged again.
"You won't get free."
"Sure, if you're sure." The guy checked the knots to make sure. Xander sniffed him. "Old Spice." The assassin hit him. Xander smirked. "I've had worse than that from my parents, dude. Hell, I've had worse than that from dates." The assassin gaped. Xander grinned. "Only the deadly like me. Clearly, you're not as badass as you think." He got hit again. "Dude, so much weaker than the life-sucking mummy girl."
The assassin gaped, then closed his mouth and huffed. "You ... what?" he demanded. Xander told him about that. "You admit to that?"
"She looked like a normal girl. We found out during a school dance. She tried for Buffy to keep herself free. I felt really sorry for her. She didn't ask for that future but I couldn't let her take Buffy out."
"You're... it's noble but insane. You're probably warping the girls."
"By getting them into college, making sure they don't date predators like Buffy does, and being a good big brother? Maybe. But they're living longer and better now than they used to."
"They're still wrong."
"Slayers were created back during caveman times. Back before we formed villages. Even if you kill all of the presently alive ones, more will be born. There's plenty of people who can train the future slayers when I die."
"You know you're not going to make it out of this?" he asked smugly.
"I won't die from you, dude. I'll die in a battle but no assassin is going to be the reason I die." He stared at him. "No matter how good you are, it won't be today or tomorrow. For that matter, you won't be able to create that apocalypse battle. Too many people know."
"That's not the only place to do it."
"No, but there's still no way to do it. We have plans in case. It won't happen. We won't die from it." He shrugged. "They've already lost and if I know some of my friends, they've told others about who gave you orders."
"I've heard about your little group."
"That was a few ex's that did that. I didn't know about them until about a year ago. Willow had hacked my email and erased all those. She'd rather I was alone and lonely forever."
"Better than a life-sucking mummy," the assassin said dryly.
"She had her reasons. If you were forced into something against your will, you'd want to escape too."
"You have no idea...."
Xander laughed. "Dude, I know who you are. I know that you've seen the other prices on my head and thought about taking one of them before but I was unseen for about six weeks. I know more about you than you do. Including who you were before they fucked with your mind." He stared at him. "By the way, the file's wrong. My birthday's not then either. Hell, they didn't even get my father's name right."
"You're going to claim someone else?"
"No, they misspelled his first name. Well, he probably did it because he was drunk, but it's misspelled." He stared at him. "We can play this game all you want."
"You won't stop the others when you're here."
Xander grinned. "I have friends for that." The door blew in. "Speaking of. Hey."
"Xander," she said, stomping in. She glared at the assassin. "You will not do this."
"Natalia," he said smugly.
"He's under mind control," he said when Steve paused to stare at him. Xander kicked back when the assassin moved to draw his gun. The bullet went over his head but the chair didn't break. Xander rocked himself over then to his feet. He undid the ropes with the concealed dagger no one could find if he didn't want them to. He looked at them.
"Go, Xander. The girls need you," Natasha said.
"Bring him out," he said. "He can go to Malaysia," he said in her ear. She nodded and he left. He called Willow. "Where is everyone and where's the battle going to be?" He listened, looking around. "Europe." He nodded. "You sure?" He sighed. "I didn't think anyone was that stupid. Yup, as soon as I can." He found himself in Cleveland and hung up. "Okay, that helps." He looked around. He was in the park where the hellmouth was. He walked over to look at it, then grimaced. He called someone. "It's Harris. I'm checking on the hellmouth thanks to a huge credible threat. No, we have an explosive. Higher powered, has vials attached," he said quietly. "They're going to try to blow the hellmouth. Please. I'd go with the alpha plan myself but no clue. I don't see a timer. Sure." He hung up and stared at it until one of the bomb squad guys got there. He pointed.
"Harris!" someone shouted. Xander waved them to stay there. "Sir?" Xander looked back. "They have it planned for Sunnydale."
Xander shook his head. "No, we have one here."
"We have one there."
"Great. The ones of lesser intelligence are in charge." He looked at the bomb squad guy.
"I have no idea and I'm doing video live to a few agents who have the same qualifications I do. We've never seen this."
"Me either. I can deal with simple things. Are those vials germ related?"
"Possibly."
Xander sighed. "Okay. Can you move it safely?"
"No." He looked up. "There's no way."
"Then let's go with the alpha plan. Now if possible." He called that in. "Tell them that there's a second device in Sunnydale." He looked back. "Where's Stark?"
"DC. The remaining Avengers just got out to Sunnydale."
"Have them stay. If it goes off first, call." The agent reported that. Buffy came jogging over. "Hold it." She froze. "Huge bomb. Maybe germ canisters." He stared at her. "Another one in Sunnydale."
She swallowed. "We have to handle it."
"I want you in Sunnydale. It's your hellmouth. You know it better than the others. Leave me Rona and a few that the coven can send when it's time." She nodded, calling Willow to make that plan. "You have at least two Avengers out there. Stark's on this coast. I saw two more handling the assassin that I diverted."
"The one that did this one was wearing a SHIELD uniform," the officer said. "The cameras said so." He stood up to look at him. "Why?"
"Some sorcerer over there decided to protest Russian inequalities by putting a replessor demon into a church. Which I ended up killing. It had killed priests and was going to kill more. They pulled more and a slayer responded. Apparently it's making them look bad so one of them ordered all the slayers wiped out. The same as when the Vatican tried a few years ago."
"I remember that. That was a huge international mess."
"The president has the stuff that got sent if I know the people that it got sent to." He shook his hand. "Be safe. Get to safety. They're going to need gatekeepers and people to protect them." He nodded and ran for his truck. Xander looked at Buffy, giving her a hug. "I forgive you for being a bitch," he said in her ear.
"I forgive you for being a dweeb who hates everyone I date." She gave him a squeeze. "See you on the other side?"
He grinned. "Sure. We can have tea with your mom." She smiled and let Willow take her. A few more girls appeared. He looked at them. "Is the house under shields?" They nodded. "Go hover somewhere safe and near there. I'm not sure how powerful this explosive is." They ran for the house. "Conserve energy, ladies," he called after them. "We'll need it. When you come back, bring me the red case." He got out of the probable blast radius and waited. He nodded at an assassin he knew. "Yours?"
"No, Harris. I'm not that suicidal."
"Who?"
"A SHIELD agent. Not all of them like you guys or the super powerful sort." He shrugged. "Can we help?"
"If it blows, help the evacuation. We'll do a last ditch if we have to," he said, looking at him. The assassin kissed him and he kissed him back. "Be safe. Trust Natasha and Clint."
"I will." He patted him on the arm before leaving him there. He nodded at the officers. "I'm helping evacuate."
"Agent?"
"Used to be. Then too many bad ones got away and I fixed it. Xander Harris had me help." They shrugged and let him help with the evacuation. He could probably help them protect the civilians.
Xander called someone. "It's me. I am free. Natasha and Steve are dealing with him. There's devices on both here and Sunnydale. Yes, I'm at home. I've already called for an evac. Buffy's heading to Sunnydale because that's her hellmouth. I'm here with a few. I figured someone did. Did they also tell you they were a SHIELD agent, not just dressed like one?" He smirked. "Yup. From what Toddy told me. Yeah, we'll handle it. It's not going to be pretty though. I'm sorry. We'll last ditch it if we have to. No, there's what looks like vials with liquids on it. The bomb squad guy took film. I have no idea, no timer I could see. Exactly. Thanks. Been great knowing you, sir." He hung up and took a deep breath. This was going to be really bad. He looked at himself. "I can fight in this."
***
Chapter notes:
For those who have seen the Hawkeye comic, you should recognize some foes.