Stark limped into the temple the group was in. "Look, it's an agent," he said sarcastically. All of them flinched and Agent May got up to stop him. She fell to the taser to the neck from behind she wasn't paying attention to. "Sit." He pointed. "Now, geeks and Skye." They slowly sat down.
"You can't attack him," Skye said. "We'll get him back or get you back for him."
Stark looked at her. "Shut. The. Hell. Up." He stared at her. "Now." She glared.
"Ease off her please, Mr. Stark," Dr. Simmons said, standing up again. "She clearly doesn't know who you are."
"Then she's really out of touch." He stared at her. "We have labs for you two to safely work in." She gaped. "Like we're going to let this happen. Some people are really mad they didn't know their handler got brought back to life." Coulson flinched and barely moved out of the way of the arrow. "Were you going to miss him?" he called.
"Sure as hell meant to," Clint agreed, coming into the light. "You know I only miss on purpose, Stark." He stared at his former handler. "You. Me. A lot of sparring."
"I wasn't allowed...."
"I don't give a fuck," Clint said, staring at him. "Though we heard." He stared at him. "You. Me. A *lot* of sparring." Coulson nodded. He looked at the woman coming up behind him. "Natasha's helping Steve finish off the nazis going after a temporal and realm portal. They stopped them but some came through with stuff from the twelve hundreds. I'm sure you remember Darcy."
"I do," he said, looking at her. "How are you and Dr. Foster?"
"Jane's way pissed. If we had known they didn't know, I would've told them sooner. Instead we found out when someone was using Jane's passport." He grimaced. "C'mon. Plane's waiting, people." She looked at the one she had tazed. "She must've been tired. I'm not that silent."
"You did good," Clint promised with a smile for her. "Rookie agent level but pretty decent." She smiled. "Want to pop in on the kid and your knight?"
"If we run into him. He's probably busy."
Stark shook his head. "Not today he's not. There's no demonic activity up here."
"That usually means something's coming," Fitz said. He stood up. "It's not safe for us to be with you, Mr. Stark. The rest of HYDRA will come. Agent Coulson has the means to restart SHIELD."
"Great, but HYDRA doesn't come to the tower. They know better. The two that were in the building are gone. One Pepper had to throw out a window when she attacked. Natasha, not very happy," he said with a smug look at Coulson, who sighed. "The only attack by HYDRA we've had was on Steve himself while he was out for a run. He solved that then told us. We've only had a vampire attack recently." Coulson blinked. "Now, pack." He waved a hand at the door. "We're not that patient."
"I can get you guys set up in the labs on the way," Darcy said. "I'm Dr. Foster's assistant and there's an empty lab a floor up, but off to the right." Stark nodded that was fine. "That's not above anyone who does explosive things but you'd be above Dr. Banner."
Fitz and Simmons both blinked at her. "He's in the US?" she asked.
"Yeah, Brucie's fine," Stark said. "He and I talk all the time. Darcy makes sure the lab gremlins don't bother Jane and makes sure Jane eats and all that good stuff. Now...pack." They gathered their things and headed out with the Avengers around them.
"Darcy!" a tiny voice called. She caught the running kid.
"Hi, Darrien." She cuddled him. "You've grown."
"Nah-uh. Or else Daddy would have to shop. He hates that." He cuddled her. "Hi, Uncle Phil."
"Hi, Darrien." He patted him on the back. "You're a good boy. Where's your dad?"
"Yelling at a slayer that showed up pregnant accidentally." He grinned at Darcy. "We should play."
"The next time we're together, we'll play. I have to help get them back to the tower we were in." The boy pouted. She sighed. "Don't do that." He giggled when she poked him on the side, cuddling her.
Xander came out to join them. "Darrien."
"I claimed her, she's ours," Darrien told Tony Stark.
Tony grinned at him. "You'd have to argue with Jane and Thor about keeping her."
"The big, blond guy?" he asked, his eyes wide. "He's really cool. Much nicer than the other gods we've met." He grinned at Darcy. "Do you know Thor?"
"I do know Thor and Jane's dating Thor."
"Oooh. That's nice of her. Gods need nice people to date. That's why some of them take Dad or the slayers."
Xander sighed, rolling his eyes. "You can talk to Darcy when we're in New York for the meeting in two weeks," he said. "If she's not busy?" She shook her head, giving him a hug. "Thanks for that," he said in her ear.
"You're very welcome and he's a sweetie." Xander grinned, shaking his head. So did Darrien.
"Xander, who's that?" a young woman demanded.
"This is Darcy. We had to guard her a few months back. And I'm still not yours so don't even try the jealous bullshit, wench. I'm not yours, not going to be yours, and all you are is an interloping stalker. So go the hell home before I have something drop you in the tundra." He looked at Darcy again. "Not a slayer but the sister to one."
She kissed him on the cheek. "You deserve better than stalkers."
"Yes I do." He winked. She laughed and followed the group after a kiss of Darrien's cheek.
Stark looked at her as she got onto the jet. "You okay?"
"I like Xander. He's a great guy. They'll be in town in a few weeks for a meeting so I said I'd play with Darrien and him." The back door closed a few minutes later and they took off. They were most of the way back to New York when a storage area under a seat that faced the back opening sneezed. They stared at it. Darcy looked inside it then waved a finger. "Get out of there." Darrien crawled out to cuddle her. She sighed. "Your dad is going to be so pissed off."
"Maybe but the ho will keep him busy for at least an hour," he quipped with a smile for her. "She's not very good at it either. Even the sheriff said he wouldn't pay her for it because she was nasty."
Darcy sat down and called Xander's phone. "It's me," she said. "Oh, hi. It's Darcy Lewis. Darrien crawled onto the jet with us. Can you tell Xander if he's done with whoever that was he wanted to beat to death?" She said she would then hung up. She looked at the phone then at Darrien, who shrugged. "The ho?" He nodded. "Call one of the slayers."
"They'll ground me."
Stark waved a hand, dialing a number. "This is Tony Stark. Yes, the real one. I'm in possession of one Darrien Harris because he snuck onto our jet to talk to a friend of Xander's. No, he's busy with a stalker, or as Darrien called her a ho that he told to go away." He listened. "We'll be in New York. He can pick him up there. Thanks." He hung up. "Rosenburg."
Darrien snorted and rolled his eyes. "Mean, evil queen wannabe." He snuggled in, making Darcy smirk. "You're warm and comfy."
"I am and you should have on more clothes."
"Warriors don't wear a lot of clothes. It gets in the way of battles."
She shook her head. "Sorry, Thor wears leather, armor, and underwear under his cape." He pouted. "So yeah, they do."
"Our uniforms are very heavy," Clint said from the front.
"They are," Darcy agreed. "They all get really sweaty under it."
"Shoot." She wrapped her jacket around him. He snuggled in anyway and ended up taking a nap. She was nice that way.
Stark smiled at her. "If you want to ...." He pointed at the kid. "For real, then go for it," he said quietly.
She shook her head. "Not now."
He nodded. "Okay. Just throwing it out there."
"Some day I'll have kids. If I live that long through another invasion or whatever."
He nodded. "We try to make sure everyone lives through them."
"I think that's why Jane and I went to Tromso." He nodded with a grin. She shifted but got comfortable. "So, Agent Coulson." He looked toward her. "How's things?"
"Things are...going incredibly sideways and really wrong most of the time." He looked at Stark. "It's going to cause problems," he said quietly.
"I'm going to have Steve crawl up your ass for that," he countered. Coulson slumped but nodded. "He's had a lot of not happy days recently." Darcy slumped some. "Not because of what happened to you. He's confused and old fashioned about that."
"Not my fault."
"I'm pretty sure if one of them compulsed him he'd freak out more," he said. "He's not dealing well with the subject of mind control."
"Yeah, I guess with his old friend being under it he wouldn't," she agreed. "I try to avoid him to ease tension."
Stark looked at her. "We all chewed him a new one, Lewis. Every single one of us. Even Bruce yelled at him for his problem." She grimaced back. "So...quit. Just be yourself. It's important. Okay?" She nodded. "Good! And if we have another battle, we adore coming home to food if we didn't mention it. Even when we're injured. Thank you and Jane both for that." She smiled. "Now, what about him?"
"He's old enough to be okay as long as I watch him," she said.
"That's cool. Thor's due back tomorrow from looking at that site with the Asgardian writing they called him about." He looked at Coulson, who sighed. "Let's not do this, okay?"
"Fine. We'll still have to move again soon to protect ourselves."
"No, *you* may have to but not everyone."
"We're valuable members of the team," Fitz complained.
"You're vulnerable members of the team," Clint called back. "You can't fight, you can't protect yourself, and you're not able to handle something like an invasion scenario. For now, live in the lab, guys. It's safer and we know we can trust you." Both scientists huffed.
Stark nodded. "We can protect you both. Don't worry about that. You guys have things you have to get done for him and you can do that in my labs. Just like Jane does with Darcy nagging her sometimes." Darcy nodded. "We handle it as it comes for the moment and then when he's got somewhere truly safe and mostly permanent set up, you guys can handle that there. The same as I can't handle what Barton and Romanoff do, you guys can't handle what they do."
"True," she agreed. "What about Melinda?"
Stark looked down at the sedated woman then at them. "That depends on what a bitch she is."
"I trained her," Coulson sighed. "She's not bad, Stark."
Tony looked at him. "I've seen others you've trained." He stared at him. "We'll figure that out and Natasha should be back about an hour after us. They can talk, bitch to bitch." Clint laughed. "Agreed?"
"Fine. Though they don't get along," Coulson said.
"I could open the back door of the jet and let her slide out," Clint offered.
"Please don't," Darcy called. "I can't get a good handhold while cuddling him."
"We can protect you and the kid," Stark promised. Darcy grinned. "Let's not, Hawkboy."
"Hey!"
"I could've picked up that Hawk Guy thing going around," Stark quipped.
"Please don't."
"Fine." They landed a few minutes later and got out.
Darcy took Darrien to the bathroom then her room to give him a heavier shirt to put on. A lot too big but he'd be okay. Then they went to the labs, her pulling on Fitz's sleeve on her way past him. "Labs so I can get you guys signed in and make sure the security system recognizes your retinal prints. Let the tough guys duke it out or whatever." They nodded and followed. She got them into the blank lab. "Is this going to be big enough or should I find Stark's hidden spare lab?"
"No, this is nicer than ours on the plane," Simmons said, looking around. "We'll need things."
"JARVIS, can you help them get things?" Darcy called.
"Of course I can, Miss Lewis. By the way, Thor and Dr. Foster are exploring their mutual tonsil galaxies in her lab."
"Awww, that's sweet. I'll remind them later they still have to eat something other than each other for dinner." The AI laughed a tiny laugh. "That's JARVIS, Tony's AI. He runs the tower and does all the grocery ordering and things. J, do we have rooms for them?"
"They're being put on the secure section, floor 83. They have adjoining bedrooms with a door that opens between them. It seems most fitting for them being able to work together. Agent May has one up the hall. The nosy one will have one without internet or access to the in-building systems so she cannot try to hack me, and Agent Coulson has a room down there or next to Agent Barton's, wherever he decides is most reasonable. I've keyed their doorway to work on the same handprint that the lab door does. I'll make sure they get there later if they wanted to tell me what I need to find laying around in other labs to have shipped in."
Simmons blinked at him. "That's very mean to Skye, JARVIS."
"Yes, but I do not tolerate hackers trying my systems, Dr. Simmons. No more than you would allow untalented and non-doctors to poke you with needles."
"No, I don't," she agreed. "Thank you."
"You are most welcome. There are tablets in the closet to the right. If you'll make me a list I'll see what I can find lying around the labs."
"Thanks, J. If you guys need me I'll either be downstairs and to the left or probably upstairs making Jane dinner to make sure she eats, and Darrien eats." He grinned at her. She left them alone, the kid following her. They went down to break up the lab make out session.
"Oh, wow, it is Thor," Darrien said in awe. Thor blinked at them, then smiled at the boy. "You're much neater than the gods we've met with the slayers."
"Thank you, Darrien. Why are you back?"
"He snuck onto the jet. We found Coulson's team, Thor."
"He is alive?"
"Yeah. They're up in the communal area. Jane, let's make dinner?" Jane nodded, getting off Thor's lap so they could head up there with him. Darrien babbled at Thor, getting answered back by the patient warrior. He stayed with him to ask him and the other heros questions when they didn't want to talk to each other.
Clint stared at him. "You are the best tension break ever," he said with a smile. "Doesn't your dad answer questions?"
"He's not a hero. He's a normal guy."
"So am I."
"Huh?" the boy asked, looking confused.
"Your dad's just as normal as I am. I've had different training but your dad saves the world just like I do."
Darrien shook his head. "He's a dad and the Council's normal guy."
"Xander probably keeps that all from him," Darcy called from the kitchen. "Battles would worry him."
"Probably," Stark agreed.
Thor nodded. "That does make sense but I know your father is a mighty warrior as well. That's why he guarded Lady Darcy for us."
Darrien shrugged then smiled at him. "He's still my dad and dads aren't heros to kids."
"No, they're often not," Stark agreed, patting him on the head. "Can you ask Darcy to make some coffee?" He ran in there. Stark looked at them. They all shrugged. The kid was sweet and helping a lot even if he didn't realize it.
Willow Rosenburg appeared with a huff. "Why do you guys have Xander's son?"
"I talked to you earlier," Stark said. "When I called."
"Oh. That reason. Darrien, c'mon. Your dad just realized you were missing."
He leaned out of the kitchen. "The stalker ho had his phone and I'm not going with you. You're evil." He ducked back in there. "Dad can come get me. Or Eira."
She glared. "Now, Darrien."
"Nope."
"JARVIS, call Xander," Darcy called out. "Let's let him talk to the kid."
"Hello?" a female voice asked.
"It's Darcy Lewis. Is Xander unbusy with the stalker ho as Darrien called her?"
"Oh, that's where he is," she sighed.
"Hi, Eira. I came to meet Thor. He's really nice and he answers questions."
"That's really great. Are you at the tower, Darcy?"
"Yes and Willow's here but he wouldn't go with her."
"Good! After her fit about how he came to be, I don't think he needs to be around her. Especially since she hasn't apologized for trying to make his dad into ...a one of those sort that I won't mention around him." She sighed. "Xander, he crawled onto the jet that came earlier. He's with Darcy Lewis and Thor."
"Son," the male voice said.
"Hi, Dad. Thor's really nice! A lot nicer than the other gods we've met."
"That's great but you're in really deep shit for sneaking onto the jet and running away to New York."
"Oops," he said, hiding under the sink.
Darcy looked down at him. "He can't spank you until he's closer. Then you hide under the sink, Darrien. Willow's here, Xander." She pulled him out. "He can't spank you over the phone." He pouted but cuddled her. "How did you want to pick him up?"
"I'll be there tomorrow morning anyway. I'll get him then if you're willing to babysit tonight. I'll even pay for the time, Darcy."
"I can do that."
"Thank you. You can tell Willow to go home. I don't want her funny mental problems near the kid."
"I do not!" she complained.
"Darcy, cover his ears." She did, he knew she would. "You made me out to be a rapist when I was the victim of her doing it to me," Xander said bluntly. "That's your funny mental problem and I'll be damned if you're going to make me the problem when I wasn't. I'm not letting you take it out on me, or on him."
"You could've stopped her," she snorted.
"Yeah, me being unconscious, drugged that way, means I could've stopped her."
"He had no more control over that than I did when I got compelled," Darcy shot back. "Damn I'm glad most women aren't like you. You'd push back women's rights by decades all by yourself. Now, shoo, witch. Now!" Willow glared and raised a hand. "You go ahead and shoot that magical whatever at me, then we'll see how far you get, witch."
Thor smacked Willow on the head, making her drop the spell. "That is not kind or right for your species, witch. My brother is a better being and a chaos mage with much anger. Leave. Before I have to find a way to bind you permanently." She huffed and disappeared. He took the boy from her. "We will help you guard him."
"He should be fine," Xander said. "Thank you, Thor. Darcy, you're lucky you're not looking for a sunlamp for your lizard self. Willow's dangerously screwy at times."
"We can torture her until she changes her back," Jane said with a smile for the ceiling. "I'd feel no issues at all with that."
Xander laughed. "I like you, Dr. Foster. I'll be there about ten. My plane lands at nine at Kennedy. Thanks, ladies, and Thor. I need to talk to someone about Willow." He hung up.
Thor nodded, walking off. "Witches like that are very unstable and highly irregular. You should not listen to what they say," he told the boy. "They often have anger greater than even my brother did." He sat down with the boy on his knee. Darrien hugged him. "It's all right. We will not let her bespell you either."
"You're so much nicer than Chiana. She just wanted to make Willow pay for her mistakes when she showed up."
Thor tipped the boy's face up. "Who summoned that one?"
"One of the slayers that got tired of her." He snuggled in again. "Thank you."
"You're most welcome. You can't grow up to be a fine warrior or scholar if you're a rabbit." The boy laughed and nodded, then went to help Darcy and Jane in the kitchen again.
Steve and Natasha came off the landing pad. Steve paused, staring at Coulson. "You are alive."
"It took him three days to get me to that state," he admitted. "Then various therapies that I begged him not to do."
Steve nodded. "Sounds like Fury," he sighed. He sat down. "Thor."
"Steven. The ladies are making dinner. Widow, there is an agent that is knocked out and locked up."
"May," Clint said with a grin.
"I can go talk to her," she agreed, strolling that way. She backtracked, staring at the boy. "How did you get here?"
"He snuck onto the jet," Darcy said. "Taste this."
She tasted the sauce on the spoon. "Needs less pepper and more garlic." She added garlic. "His father?"
"Tomorrow morning. I'm babysitting," Darcy said.
"That's fine. He was an excellent child when he was here with his father. I'm sure he will not bother the rest of us." She walked off again.
Darcy looked at him. "She just got off a mission. That's like a really bad patrol."
He nodded. "I've seen those. How do we correct too much pepper?"
"The others like it more that way." She winked. He grinned and helped by stirring for her.
***
Natasha was sitting next to Melinda May's spot on her temporary couch when she woke up. "I will know your intentions while we share a building," Natasha said bluntly.
"You knocked me out." She sat up, staring at her.
"I didn't knock you out. I was helping Captain Rogers take down a HYDRA cell trying to access a portal to another realm's world war 2. Then making sure no one could access the portal." Natasha casually crossed her legs, staring at her. "Your guard must have been down."
"I doubt that," Melinda said with a grimace. She looked around. "Where is this?"
"Stark Tower."
"That's going to draw trouble here."
"The Avengers are here and we can handle such things," Natasha said blandly. "Though they do not come here. They know better." Melinda stared at her. "I will not have you disrupting the lives in this tower. You can submit yourself to the proper attitudes to reside here and interact or you can stay locked in here."
"I can behave," she said.
"There are civilians in the building, mostly scientists. Yours have already found their niches among them."
"That's good. They could use more than panicking and emergencies." She relaxed. "Is Clint all right?"
"He is probably very well. We returned right after them."
"He was up there?"
"Him, Stark, and a few others left our situation to come handle yours." She stood up. "If you will be civil, you may go up to the common lounge." She paused her. "Do not bother Darcy Lewis," she said quietly. "She is still healing."
"HYDRA?"
"Vampires."
"Oh, dear." She sighed. "Coulson introduced us to Xander."
"He showed up to help protect her."
"Good of him." She nodded. "I'll be a good girl," she said sarcastically.
Natasha tipped her head slightly. "Good." Natasha had the door unlocked and they left together, going up there. "JARVIS, this is Agent May."
"Yes, Agent Romanoff. I've already found her dossier and adjusted her abilities within the building so she can access the gym and other training facilities plus the Avengers common areas," the AI said.
She looked up. "You're Stark's AI," she said.
"I am, Agent May. My name is JARVIS."
"Thank you, JARVIS. May I have a map?"
"You have one available on the tablet in your kitchen. That will also be where you upload any needs that need ordered for your residence here."
"We may not be here long but thank you," she said.
"You are most welcome and I believe it's safer if you stay for now." The elevator opened to let them off.
Darrien ran over to stare at her. "They got your bag of stuff," he said with a smile. "You got to miss Willow showing up to be a dumb butt too."
"Language," Darcy called from the kitchen.
"Sorry." He smiled at Natasha.
"You are adorable but I do not accept flirting from anyone who is under three-quarters of my age."
"How old is that?" he asked, blinking at her.
She smiled. "Do the math."
"I don't know how old you are to do the math. Are you over twenty-two?"
She smiled, kissing him on the head. "Yes, I am." He pouted but escorted them to the seats and then went back to helping Darcy and Jane. He looked at Darcy. "Are you about twenty-two?"
She smiled, hugging him. "I'm twenty-four. Your dad is three years older than me, sweetie."
"That's a cool age gap." He smiled at Jane.
"Thor and I have a huge age gap but it's okay because Asgardians age slower," Jane said.
"That's a neat thing." He went to talk to Thor about that. The warrior was happy to tell him of his people, especially about his mother.
Once dinner was served, Darrien sat next to Darcy. She made him eat his veggies but he could talk to Dr. Fitz on his other side. He knew a lot of stuff and he liked to talk about them. It was like lessons only better because it came with dessert at the end.
***
In the morning, Darcy got up and got herself ready then got the kid up to let him take a shower and change back into his clothes. He pouted at them. "I have a washer, kiddo. They're not dirty."
He grinned. "I've had to do that before. Washing in rivers leaves you feeling nasty."
"I guess it could since fish swim in rivers. And other stuff."
"Eww." She smiled. "I think that's why we used the filter pitchers when we drank out of rivers." He ran in to get a shower and get dressed then came out to let her feed them. Then they went to the labs to help around there. He was good at helping her pick up reports and sorting thing out. Ten came and went. Then noon, and lunch they made for Jane and Thor.
Xander finally showed up at two, looking a bit banged up. He shook his head. "Cab crash because of a demon that needed desperate help getting away from a homicidal demon hunter." He shifted his stance with a wince. "Sorry I'm late."
She hugged him carefully. "It's all right. Things like that happen and you had a long time at the ER."
"Yes I did. Plus the officers." He picked up his son with a grunt.
"Put me down! You have hurt ribs and you do not need to be carrying my tiny butt!" Darrien complained.
Xander smiled at him. "They're only sore, not broken, and you're not that heavy yet, kiddo." He kissed Darcy on the cheek, handing her some money. "Thank you."
"He was sweet and helpful all night, Xander."
He looked at his son. "It's good you used your manners." He winked at Darcy and left with the kid.
Darcy tucked the money into her pocket and went back to her nagging rounds. Stark looked up then around. "I wasn't going to mention how late he was."
"Cab crash."
"Ah! That can happen. He good?"
"Sore ribs. Limping a bit. Darrien protested he didn't need carrying."
"Yeah, he did. He's sneaky."
"He's mostly a good boy." She smiled. "Do I need to remind you about lunch things?" He pointed at the plate next to him. "Stark, that's covered in motor oil. Eww! You are not a robot, you didn't need a lube job!" She snatched it and threw it out then got him food ordered. She used the robots to shoo him into a shower while it was being delivered. With the amount of grease on him, it looked like he was using his body to do the lube job.
***
Darcy finally got to go back to her own apartment, after almost a week of being in the tower, and found a person in there standing in a slightly bigger mess than she had left. She stared at the guy who walked out of her bedroom, hand on her taser. "Why did you break in and toss my clothes around?" she asked. She had seen a picture thanks to Steve showing everyone in case they spotted him.
"The one who did the messiness is in the closet," he said. "I need you to get me to Stark. They won't suspect me coming to you."
"I can do that. Or Steve."
"The man on the bridge?"
"Yes, him." She pulled out her phone. "Thor, thank you for answering Jane's phone. Tell Steve his friend is here and he said he needs Stark. Yes, that one. Thank you." She hung up. "Who created the mess?"
Bucky pointed. "He's trapped in there. I don't know what he is. His comrade was not normal."
"Probably a vampire," she muttered. She pulled out her taser and walked over to open the door, zapping the guy that tried to rush out. "What did you think you were doing?" she demanded.
"You don't need this. You're coming with us," he said, whimpering and making hurt noises.
"Fuck no I'm not! Can't you get that through your pointy skull?" Someone pounded and burst in. "Do not break my door!" she ordered. "My landlord is going to shit!"
Steve blinked. "Sorry." He looked at Bucky, staring at him. "Hi."
"I need Stark. I have a self-destruct I just found."
"I can do that. He's on his way." The vampire got past Darcy and ran out the broken window. "Was that one of them?"
"I found he had broken in," Bucky said. "I stuffed him in the closet when I caught him going through her clothes."
Steve nodded. "That does suck."
"Yeah, it does," Darcy said, looking at the mess. "But I wasn't here in long enough. It left it without a soul barrier." She grimaced and sighed, picking up stuff to put up.
Steve looked at Bucky. "C'mon, I can bring you to Stark."
Bucky looked at her. "Thank you for your help."
"You're welcome. Let me know if you need more help. Okay?" He nodded once and followed Steve out of the apartment.
Darcy shut the door and got back to cleaning up the mess. When she laid down with the lights off, the vampire tried to come back but the barrier stopped him. "You know that won't work," she said, flipping him off. "Go away."
"You could be ours. You could have eternal life."
"I couldn't be bored for that long."
"We'd keep you occupied."
Darcy glared at him. "I'd rather stake myself first." He pouted and huffed off. Darcy checked everything was secure and got back to sleep.
***
Darcy walked in the next morning with an extra tall coffee and looking like she hadn't slept. Stark stopped her on the lab floor. "You're moving into an apartment here."
"No I'm not."
"Yes, you are. You had a vampire in your apartment when you got home! Can't you please be reasonable!"
"I am moving but I'm not moving in here. I told my landlord I'm moving when I ran into him this morning to come clean up the mess that they made breaking in. He said he was going to kick me out anyway because of the noise complaints so I've got two months to move." She sipped her coffee. "You can help me look, but I'm not moving into the tower. I need away from all of you sometimes."
"We have nice apartments on the lower levels."
"Which are nicely just a few floors away from work," she said dryly. "Which I need to get away from sometimes."
He rolled his eyes as he walked off. "Fine, I'll help you look."
"Thank you." She went up to the lab to log in and get to work sorting through all of Jane's data again. When Jane got there she stared at him. "Bucky found a vampire fondling my panties. He shoved him in a closet. Probably because the thing tried to hit on him or eat him."
"That was sweet of him." Jane stared at her because that was not the news she had expected to hear this morning. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah. It was where no one was there for too long. No soul barrier from residency."
"Oh. That stuff. You good?"
"I'm fine. I have two months to move."
"The landlord's kicking you out?" she demanded.
"Because the vampires broke the window and Rogers broke my door and the neighbors complained about noise. He announced that when I told him I was moving in two months."
"Sure, I'll help you move. I'm pretty sure Thor's really handy for that too." She sat down to get to work. Jane got a hug then they got back to work.
***
Darcy came back from looking at a pretty decent place. She would've had it if her credit report hadn't shown up as a bit too clean. She went up to work and waited until Jane was off to bother Bruce about something to lean back in her chair. "JARVIS, what did he do to my credit report?" she asked quietly.
"I believe sir swept it clean."
"Yes, it's now too clean." She got up to go talk to Stark in person. He smiled until he saw her scowl. "I would've had a nice apartment I could've moved into at the end of the month but whatever you did to my credit report wiped it too clean, Stark."
"I just removed the really old stuff."
"Uh-huh. Including my student loans?"
"Welll....."
"Does this mean I should start making those payments to you?" she asked dryly.
"They're still around."
"Uh-huh." She stared at him. "I actually liked the one today. It was roomy, it was nice. It was just across a bridge."
"That's way too far away. What if Jane has a breakthrough?"
She huffed. "Stark, it may not occur to you but I need *away* from all this at times."
"If Steve...."
"It's not him! You guys drive me nuts!" He stared at her, looking confused. "Listen, all right? Human nature has devolved into some people being nurturers. We take care of others. Like I do to Jane." He nodded he got that, sitting down. "With the way you guys mistreat yourselves, it drives me literally batty watching you do that to yourselves. I have to keep fighting my own needs to fix things. I can't do that with you."
"You can make sure I eat."
She swatted him on the arm. "I'd end up being your mommy figure, and neither of us want that!"
"No, I don't want that. It gives me nasty ideas about breast fetishes," he said, shaking his head quickly. She swatted him again and scowled. "I get that but it's safer."
"I can install a security system, Stark."
"It's not good enough."
"It is good enough because otherwise I'll need a bed in Bellevue. They'll give me a pretty jacket and teach me to hate the stove that calls out for me because you guys never eat. Or do normal human things like bathe! Or anything like that! I need the space for my own mental health!"
He huffed. "I was trying to help. You can't get a great place with your old credit report."
"I would've qualified for this one and it was pretty nice. Now they won't because I don't have a credit history."
"I.... you can still move in here." She glared. "It's safer for you and us. What if someone like HYDRA comes at you next time? Bucky came to you because you were a safer side target and HYDRA didn't probably connect you to Rogers."
"Then I'll taze them like I did Thor."
"Oh, that. I heard about that." He blinked at her. "I can help you find somewhere."
"No! You can help me *look*. You can put my credit report back. You cannot get me an apartment. Besides, I couldn't afford something you would think was best."
"That's a point." He sighed. "I'll help you look. Your realtor friend is pretty nice." She nodded, arms crossed over her chest. "Move in here temporarily?"
"If I have to, yes. But I'm not staying and it's not a permanent move. Then I'll be looking harder for an apartment."
"I get that. I really do, even though I have no idea about motherish things and feelings and needs like you have." She stared at him. "Mine didn't do that! Pepper didn't either."
"Yes she did or you would've starved to death. You have JARVIS programmed to mostly do it for you."
"Oh, that stuff." He stared at her. "I'll help you look and I'll put back your credit report. Any chance on that one?"
"No. There's a huge housing shortage right now. I was already competing against three others for the apartment at that time."
"Because of our battle," he said.
"No, the city was pretty poor about housing before all that. Where I'm looking isn't affected by the battle scars in Manhattan. I couldn't afford Manhattan. No one except people like you can afford to live here in Manhattan."
"Point," he said. "This tower was hugely expensive."
She rolled her eyes again, turning to walk off. "Really near to the subway and/or bus lines please. I've been looking in the areas just over the bridges so I'm as close as I can be."
"Yup. Thanks and you're still moving in here if you can't find something in a few weeks."
"I have two months."
"Yup," he said with a wave at her back. He huffed. "JARVIS, are there any nice listings for her?"
"The one she was looking at today was slightly out of her budget but it was the nicest I've seen in her preferred areas, sir," the AI said. "There is not a lot of open real estate in the city area right now."
"That sucks," he said. "You're monitoring her apartment, right?"
"I am. The landlord is presently fixing the damage Captain Rogers made last night when he burst in to get his friend. Speaking of, he's waking up from the surgery." Tony went up to check on him. He kept looking at listings, showing Darcy some as they came up. She called about a few but she was already too late on them.
***
Darcy came home a few days later after an all-night at the lab, sighing in displeasure when she saw some of her stuff being carried into a truck. She stepped between one of the movers and the truck. "What are you doing with my things? I said I was moving in two months."
"Mr. Stark's orders, Miss Lewis. They broke into your apartment again last night." He put the box he was carrying into another guy's hands and took her upstairs. There was less of a mess this time. She looked around and groaned. "Your clothes were tossed around and some had blood or other stuff poured on them. They're at the laundry on the next block." She sighed but nodded. "What do you want to take with you to the tower?"
"My vanity and all the stuff on it. My books, my clothes. My stuff in my bathroom and kitchen. The other furniture can go into storage."
He nodded. "We can do that." He patted her on the arm. "The first load is already heading to storage about a block from here." He handed her the rental contract. "It's a good, secure place. We've used it before." She nodded, smiling a tiny bit. "You'll be safe and whatever weird people these were will hopefully be arrested for it."
"They're vampires. They probably won't be." He grimaced but nodded. "Thank you. How did they get in?"
"Broke your window. The fix didn't look all that sturdy." He stared back at the landlord, who decided to run off.
"We'll be talking," Darcy called after him. She looked at the mover. "How much do I owe you guys?"
He shook his head. "Mr. Stark paid us, ma'am." He grabbed more boxes and walked off.
Darcy sighed, going to yell at her landlord for not fixing that broken window that let them back into her apartment. It meant she got her security deposit back because she was all for suing him and telling everyone else about it. Then she went to the laundry. It'd be the end of the week for most of her clothes. She sighed, going to find something to wear. She still needed a shower and to change. She got back to the tower and JARVIS nicely dropped her on her new floor without her having to ask. The blinking handpad on the apartment showed her which one was hers. She laid her hand on it and took the keys from the door, going in to look. She had a duffle bag of clothes. She grimaced. "Who packed the clothes? Are there any more left?"
"They packed the clothes, ma'am," one of the movers said.
"Oh, great, the vampires were choosing my wardrobe for me," she said dryly. She held up the clothes, shaking her head. "This is going to be bad." They smiled. "Do I have ten minutes without you guys for a shower?"
"Probably about thirty minutes, ma'am," one of the movers said.
"Thanks, guys. Been up all night working." She went to the bathroom with a corset top and a long, slim skirt in a stretchy fabric. She had a cardigan that could go over it, she was wearing it right now. She came out of the shower winding up her wet hair, unpacked her coffee maker and stuff to make a pot, then went up to work.
Jane looked at her. "That's not your usual outfit."
Darcy put her coffee cup down after a sip. "They broke in again last night to go through my clothes to pick out my turned wardrobe. The rest is at the laundry a few blocks from where I used to live." She took another drink. "It was this or the leather pants from that one pirate costume I had in my freshman year at Culver." Jane grimaced and shook her head. "Or the two more showy vests without any shirts to go under it. At least I slightly look put together but if I find them I'm going to take the cost of the laundry out of their hides."
Jane gave her a short hug. "At least you're safe now. I'm assuming you're here?"
"I found out by going home for a shower and change and found Stark had hired me movers. I'm down on the fifty-second floor." She took another drink and sighed. "Let's get back to science for science's sake. I'll find a thrift store later so I don't have to look like I'm selling it for rent money tomorrow."
"You don't look bad," Jane said, looking her over. "The top's a bit...tarty."
"Yeah, I usually wear a shirt under it."
"I can see why." She got back to work and it was okay and quiet. She even let Darcy take a nap on the couch in there.
***
Darcy showed up that night and security tried to stop her. She pulled out her ID to hold up. They grimaced. "That's why I had to get clothes to work in. Someone broke in and destroyed most of mine." She got around him and into the elevator. "JARVIS, please? My hands are full."
"I shall get you to your apartment, Miss Lewis." The elevator started to move. "Are you all right?"
"I'm just really exhausted. Thank you for caring, J."
"You're quite welcome. You rest. You could use it. The tub is generously deep. Mr. Stark said it was a nice selling feature to rent those apartments out."
"That sounds great. Is my bath stuff here?"
"Yes. It was delivered earlier with your vanity items and your food stores. Would you like me to order you something for dinner?"
"No, I'll do that later and pay for it. Can you send me a copy of my lease so I know how much I'm paying him?"
"I've already sent it to your email, Miss Lewis."
"Thanks, J. You're a great buddy." She went to her apartment, and it opened for her. "Thanks for that too." She walked in and nudged the door shut with her hip, dropping the clothes onto the couch so she could go take a long, hot bath. It was nicely deep enough to fall asleep in. Just what she needed.
***
The next afternoon she ran into Clint Barton on her way out. "Hey," she said, walking around him.
He stared at her square necked navy blue cotton shirt that had three-quarter sleeves and a pair of jeans that were just a bit too tight. "You going out for dinner?"
"Going to the laundry out where I used to live to pick up things. They said they got most of it done." She sighed. "So I'm cabbing."
"Nah, I can drive you." He grinned. "You look exhausted."
"I am. I came home yesterday to find myself being moved."
He winced. "Stark being nice?"
"After those sort broke in again. They trashed most of my clothes to pick my new wardrobe. Hence the method of emergency." She waved a hand at the clothes.
He shrugged. "You look nice." He led her to the garage and drove her out there. He even helped her carry the three large bags of folded laundry to the car. It filled the backseat. He looked at her over the roof of the car. "Dinner?"
"I'd love food. I haven't eaten since breakfast."
"Cool." He grinned. "It's been three hours for me." She snorted but smiled back. They found a tiny diner up the road that had good food and pigged out before going back. He showed her the freight elevator that bypassed the uptight lobby security officers. It eased some of her stress. He let her unpack and went upstairs to the common area. "She's got her stuff back from the cleaner," he told Stark.
"That's good. She okay?"
"I made sure she ate. She looks exhausted."
"We're not working tomorrow," Jane said. "Thor wants to go to the park." She sent Darcy a text message and put her phone down after the 'thank you'. "She'll sleep in tomorrow."
"That'll do her good," Stark agreed. "She could use the rest. She was worried her nurturing needs would start to drive her nuts."
"They will," Jane agreed. "It's still safer here."
Stark nodded. "It is." He stretched up and out. "Let me get back to my lab."
"Pepper locked you out," Jane reminded him. "Me too. She said she wanted all the science team to be rested and aware tomorrow when she came in for the meeting about any needs we have."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot," he muttered. He headed for his apartment to rest and maybe watch some tv or porn.
She went to pounce Thor. He was the best sleep aid ever.
***
Darcy was in the gym, getting some forced-on-her self-defense work. Tony had suggested it to Natasha, who agreed it'd be a good idea, even though no one could have avoided being attacked like Darcy had. So she was with Clint working on some hitting and blocking moves.
"Will that really keep her safe?" Bucky called from where he and Steve were boxing.
"Hopefully," Clint said calmly, staring at her. Steve had been annoyed about Darcy for the last few months, and they were all confused by it.
"What happened anyway?" Bucky asked. "Drugged drink?"
Darcy stepped back to glare at him. "I got touched on the arm and the vampires laid a compulsion."
"Oh," Bucky said, staring at her. "They can do that?"
"Some species," Clint said. He tapped Darcy and swung at her, letting her move and block it. "Good. More like that." She nodded, getting back into it. "We've had three others invading the tower, one without her being here, trying to get her. They consider her as a potential good huntress for their tribe because she's pretty." Darcy rolled her eyes and threw in a kick at Clint. He grinned and blocked it. "Nice. Keep going." She nodded and pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "Kick higher." She tried again and he nodded. "We'll work on that." She grinned.
"How do vampires get in here?" Bucky asked.
"There's a nice 'welcome to Stark Towers' message being played in the lobby at all times," Darcy said dryly. "All it takes is an invitation or a place without a soul in residence. I had one at the apartment when you found me because no one had lived there in over a day when he broke in," she reminded him.
"Point. Are they all the same species?"
Darcy quit moving and shook her head as she looked at him. "One species got me but two others decided to agree with them about my potential at pulling in victims." She huffed. "Which sucks totally. Only one of those extra ones can compel people. The original troupe has tried to sneak back according to Xander's sources but half of them are still in Dover."
"Why?" Clint muttered, shaking his head. "Is there even vampires in Dover?"
"He said not many but that gives them a good field for feeding," she said, looking at him. "The remaining four members of the troupe have snuck back into the city but I haven't seen them anywhere." Clint grinned.
"What if they show up?" Bucky asked. "What're you going to do?" She pulled the taser out of her quick-draw holster and fired it at him, making him flop down with a yelp of pain.
"Nice," Clint said, taking it from her. "Very nice. You need one with higher power. Let Stark tinker with that." He ejected the wire cartridge and handed it back. She shrugged. "Go let Stark make it higher powered. You'll need more to zap the undead. We'll work on how you stake too."
"That one troupe takes beheading."
"I remember," he said. She punched him on the arm and walked off toweling off her sweaty neck and hair. He looked at them once she was out of hearing range. "Guys, quit treating her like she's helpless. Even Natasha's gotten compelled by vampires in the past." They both grimaced. "You guys treating her like she's fragile or unable to do things is making it harder on her. So please quit before *I* taze you." He walked off. He went to Stark's lab, knocking on the window before leaning in. "Darcy's still using a regular tazer?" he asked. "How have you not grabbed hers like you did Natasha's Widow's Bite?"
"I forgot she carried a tazer," he said. He turned to look at him.
"She just tazed Barnes when he asked what she'd do when one showed up again."
Stark pulled up footage and grinned at it. "Good girl."
"We had a talk too." Clint walked off. Darcy was coming out of the elevator after a quick shower and change back to her regular clothes. "Have fun playing with science."
"I'll try really hard," she quipped with a grin. "Thanks."
"Welcome. I mentioned your tazer to Stark. He said he forgot you have one." She laughed as she let herself into Jane's lab. Then back out and wrote out a note to hang on the door so no one else would do that. "Nap time?" he guessed when she joined him at the elevator.
"Thor's feeding her lunch by hand."
He grinned. "They are in gooey love," he agreed. They got on together. "Common area?" She nodded. "How did you make that casserole with the potatoes and the mushrooms? Natasha wanted to know."
"I can show you. It's really easy." She smiled. "It's literally cut and toss into a pot then top." He grinned, following her in there. Natasha came in to sit at the breakfast bar to watch them work. She smiled. "Jane's being hand-fed lunch by Thor."
Natasha nodded. "I saw the note." Darcy grinned, going back to the recipe. "No thickener?"
"No, the starch in the potatoes will do that," Darcy said. She held up something. "So will the milk powder and the cheese."
"That's interesting. I hadn't tasted the powered milk," Natasha said. They put it into the oven together since they had made two pans of it. She turned on the timer and turned to Clint. "Lunch?" Natasha suggested at the dual stares.
"Always happy to eat," Clint said. "Coffee?" Darcy started some and made them paninis. Natasha took hers with a smile. Clint sat beside her to eat. Darcy went outside to eat on the porch since it was a pretty, sunny day. They took the casseroles out when the timer buzzed. Natasha let it go for another five minutes since the top wasn't fully browned.
Darcy went back to the labs once she had eaten and checked her email then went to check on Tony. "Do you want me to make you lunch?" she asked as she walked in.
"I'll trade you your tazer for chinese food you go pick up in the lobby."
"Sure." She handed it over and went to get his food for him, plus some coffee. Tony lived on coffee like humans lived on oxygen.
***
Darcy was out getting a new book from one of the used bookstores in the city when she ran into the idiot vampires bothering Bucky. They had over a month without hearing anything about vampires and here they were again. She followed them into the nearby undead bastard club since she couldn't catch up to them outside and used the bag with the book to hit one of them. "Leave him alone!" They flinched away from her. "He doesn't need this shit! He's had enough of that done to him already!" She hit a few more. "Don't make me find a stake or my tazer." A few vampires laughed so she electrocuted them. They turned to ash. She looked around. "Stop it."
"He could gather you for us," one said smoothly, walking out from the back of the bar. "It looked like it worked better than ever since you came of your own free will."
"I don't want you!" she sneered. "No one wants you, especially not me!" She nudged Bucky. No response. Great! The vampires moved around her and she snarled. The tazer wouldn't take them all out. She pulled out her stake, nicely carved with Clint's help to make a proper point on it. They all smirked.
A young woman strolled in humming and shot off her crossbow. "Gee, a vampy vamp meeting. How nice of you to welcome me to the city as the new slayer," she quipped.
Darcy staked two. "They took my friend's coworker to compel to get me," she said.
The slayer looked at her then at the group. "Wow, Xander warned us the douche patrol was in town."
"Half are in Dover," Darcy quipped. "Can we go?"
"Please." The slayer smiled.
"Tell Darrien and Xander we're okay?"
"I can do that, Darcy." Darcy grinned and hauled on Bucky's arm until he followed her. He was still out of it but complacent enough to follow. Darcy grabbed her book on the way out. She got them a cab and sent a text message to Xander in case the slayer needed help. The slayer came out dusting off her shirt. "You good? Need a ride?"
"Yes please. I'm told you reside in the tower of hotties who save the world too. I should introduce myself."
"Sure." She got Bucky into the cab and the ladies climbed in around him. They got back to the tower and Darcy called. "Stark, meet me in the elevator. Bucky ran into that troupe." She paid the cab and they went inside while guiding Bucky. The elevator doors opened and Stark moaned, moving to help them get Bucky into it. "This is the new slayer in the area. This is Tony Stark." Bucky followed wherever they tugged his human arm so he needed steered.
The slayer smiled and waved. "I'm Dara."
"Tony." He shook her hand. "I need your contact information just in case."
"I can do that." They got off the elevator and walked Bucky toward the couches.
"Steve!" Tony bellowed. Steve and Natasha both came in off the porch. Clint jogged out of the bedroom area.
"Some vampires got him to make him get me out of the tower," Darcy said. "I smacked a few and zapped a few and staked two. This is Dara, the new local slayer."
Steve moaned, taking Bucky to control. "How did they do this and how do we cancel it?"
Dara shrugged, looking at Darcy.
"I was coming out of the bookstore and saw them surrounding him near a club. It had a huge overhang above the opening. I smacked a few around with my new book to get them off him but they took him inside the club so I followed."
"Call. Us!" Tony said, staring at her. "We would've shown up to help."
"I didn't want to leave him there!" she complained. "Who knows what they'd do to him!"
"Only two of the species in the bar had magic," Dara said. "Only one thinks Rosenburg's a chaos goddess and would knock him up to make her happy." Everyone stared at her. She shrugged. "They're weird that way. It's the weird, dead brain that gives them ideas." Steve moaned.
"I think they only got to the point of the mind whammy." She looked at her. "How?"
"Has to wear out. Should be within a few hours as long as all the vampires that did it are dead, and they're dead unless one escaped you before getting to him."
Clint smiled at her. "Average time?"
"Depends on the mind. The stronger ones, the less time it takes."
"He's been under mental coercion," Darcy said quietly.
"Probably tomorrow then. One of them tried to get a slayer that some German dicks got to a few months back. It took her a week but she's really, really dumb. I'm guessing if he works with you guys, he's not a dumb socialite."
"No, he's not," Stark said. "Let's get your contact info so we can find you." Dara handed over a business card with a smile. "Even better. Address?" She wrote it for him. "Anything we can do to help him come down?"
"He'll probably have a headache. They give me one all the time. Like the telepath people do when they try to mind screw people."
"They really need to realize they're making things worse and they're leaving any mutants without 'useful' gifts out in the cold," Darcy complained. "And the mind screwers really need to keep their minds to themselves." Dara nodded, patting her on the arm. "Thanks for the saving."
"Not a problem. That's what we do."
"Can I make you cookies or something?"
Dara grinned. "No slayer turns down sugary things." Darcy took her to the kitchen to bake for her.
Steve blinked in there then at Bucky. "What about him?"
"Let him sleep it off," Dara said. "He'll have a headache." She looked at him. "It doesn't look like they gave him any orders. They were at the 'you will do my bidding' part of the compelling. And while it sucks, especially if he's been there before, it won't hurt him. He'll wake up and probably be mad at himself. I would be. You probably would be." Steve glared. She stared at him. "You can nudge him, give him amphetamines, we've even tried cocaine to knock people out of that. They have to let it wear off."
"Darcy's took three days," Stark said quietly, staring at him. Steve scowled at him. "He should be okay in the morning. We can put him in the infirmary. We probably should put him in the infirmary," he said, looking at Bruce.
"We're able to monitor him if Steve wants him up here. Right now he's reading like he's asleep. There's no harm putting him into a bed and letting him wake up." Steve was still scowling.
Dara came out. "We basically put them in a monitored spot. We let someone be there when they start to wake up. That way we can talk about what happened, anything they feel compelled to still do, plus generally tell them how all the ones that did it are dead." Steve stared at her, mouth open. "It's what a slayer does, Captain. We slay vampires and demons causing problems for humanity." She stared back. "We don't play games with them. Plenty of the slayers have went into hugely stupid situations that nearly got us all dead."
"Because of Xander's plans?"
"No, because we had to go save some harmless demons that they were doing experiments on. Just like you stopped a lot of people doing the same thing to humans." She stared at him. "A lot of us look up to what you did back during the war. The same as many of us look up to your present team. It's really nice not to have to save the world by ourselves any more. We're still wondering where SHIELD and everyone else was during the battle of LA and things."
"He wasn't thawed yet," Tony said. "I was calling SHIELD and I couldn't get there. I was in Tokyo that day."
Dara smiled and waved a hand. "We understand that stuff. The officials should have seen it since it was all over the news, and should've stepped in. The only agents we saw were a few FBI and a few ATF guys who all got huffy that we're females saving their butts. And a few that tried to harass us until we sicced Willow on them. Though they did make her turn them back."
He nodded. "We all thought it was weird that SHIELD was so hands off too. Pepper went on a swearing rant at Fury about letting teenage girls save us all."
"Battle in LA?" Steve asked.
"Open portal, spew realm of demons," Clint said. "I was in Egypt tracing someone." He looked at her. "You guys need my help, you call." He wrote down his cellphone number.
She hugged him. "A lot of the girls like you because you use weapons we use." She bounced back into the kitchen to collect the cookies coming out of the oven.
Clint grinned at Natasha. "Where were you?"
"Brazil."
Bruce shook his head. "I heard two days later. I was in Panama in the middle of nowhere with natives."
Thor stomped in with Jane. "What has happened?"
Dara leaned out of the kitchen to stare at him. "Lord Thor, would you know why slayers feel your presence?" she asked. "You give us weird feelings."
He blinked at her. "It is the nature of power from Asgard. You would feel me as many who do magic do."
"Ah! I'll make note of that. It could come in handy some day to find you." She went back to accepting her treat. "Thank you, Darcy."
"You're welcome and let me know if I can help. Okay?" Dara nodded and bounced out, smiling and waving at Jane. "I found the local vamps compelling Barnes." Jane winced. "Thor, do you know of any way beyond sleeping it off?"
"Not right off the top of my head if simple waking techniques don't work. For those under it, it's often like a dream." He looked at her.
"I still have almost no memories," she admitted. "A few nightmares but no memories."
Thor nodded. "That can happen when they're very strong. How many were there?"
"No clue. I saw five around him then they pulled him into the club. I know I dusted some and Dara got most of the rest. We think all the ones that whammied him are dead."
"Good," Thor said. "That would make it easier to wake him and harder for others to try so again. There's not many ways to block that sort of spell out of one's mind."
"Xander said there's some meditations but that'll only work if they're weak. I have the book in my room." She looked at Steve. "You can borrow them for him. It might help with other things. A few say they can help open memories. I've left it on the table before as a subtle offer." She went back to making cookies. She baked when she was upset.
"I read it," Tony said. "They're not hard."
Clint nodded. "Me too. Just in case." Thor patted him on the back. He looked at him. "Are there others like your brother?"
"Not many on Asgard," Thor said quietly. Jane hugged his arm. He smiled at her and moved to look at Bucky. He patted him on the face, moving back quickly when Bucky grabbed for a knife and made hurt noises. Thor looked at his hammer then dropped it on Bucky's lap. "That should keep him from moving suddenly should he wake up in the wrong state of mind." Steve stared at him. "Nightmares can do that to one," Thor reminded him.
"I know. Thank you, Thor." Darcy brought out a plate of cookies then went back into the kitchen. "Bruce, any ideas?" He shook his head. "Then let's let him sleep." Darcy brought out coffee. "Darcy, we're good," he said.
She stared at him. "Not if you're going to sit up all night. Beyond that, I bake when I'm under great stress, Rogers. If you don't want cookies then don't eat them." She walked off again. Steve scowled at her back.
Tony took a cookie to nibble. "I like that she stress bakes. I'm gaining weight. Pepper said I'm cuddly."
Natasha looked at him. "It does soothe the muscles you're building." She took a cookie to nibble as she walked off. "Let me know if you need spelled, Steve. I'll take watch from you."
"Thank you, Natasha." The others told him to call if he needed them. Thor and Jane settled in to wait with him in case Steve needed help to calm Bucky down. Steve sat down, not touching the cookies. Thor and Jane ate cookies and talked quietly. Then they got books to read next to each other.
***
Bucky woke up with a gasp, looking around. Thor casually reached over to remove his hammer from his lap, not waking Jane at all. "What happened? Who were they? HYDRA?"
"Vampires," Thor said quietly. Steve was in the bathroom. Bucky stared at him, mouth open. "They were going to compel you to grab Lady Darcy from our gentle guarding for them."
Jane woke up and yawned, stretching her arms up. She looked at him. "Are you okay? I know Darcy had a headache at first and fuzzy memories."
"I don't remember anything." Bucky shook his head quickly. "Am I okay? Bitten or infected?"
"No," Thor said. "They would have used you like that later."
"With what we know about vampires, you'd probably be Darcy's first feed when they turned her." Bucky shuddered. Steve came out of the bathroom. "He's awake."
"Bucky, you good?" Steve asked, standing in front of him. "Any nightmares or anything?"
"The last thing I remember I was going for a new sketch book for your birthday. Then I woke up here."
"The art supply store you guys go to is by the used bookstore Darcy likes," Jane said. "It's about a block past it. You probably didn't get there."
"Are they gone?" Bucky ground out.
Jane smiled. "Darcy went after you and ran into the local slayer." Bucky relaxed, nodding. "She said she smacked a few with books to get you free and tazed a few."
Bucky snorted. "That thing's mean." He stood up, checking himself over. "I feel odd."
"You've basically been asleep since they grabbed you," Jane said. "We couldn't wake you up."
"That figures." One of Stark's robots brought up a book, putting it down in front of Bucky then beeped before wandering off.
"Thanks, U," Jane called. "Is Darcy in the lab?" It honked twice. "I'll go later." She looked at him. "That's the book Xander got her. He said it's not always effective but the meditations worked sometimes."
Bucky picked it up. "It could probably help with other things." He looked at Steve. "I'll get your present soon."
Steve took his friend's face in his hands. "I don't need a present. I need you to be okay."
"I'm fine." He got free, staring at him. "I'm okay. Just a bit confused." He spotted the plate of cookies and took two to nibble on while he scowled his way to his room to take a shower. He came back. "Who bakes?"
"Darcy stress bakes," Jane said with a smile. "She made some for the slayer that helped save you."
"That's good. I'll thank her when we run into her." He went back to his planned shower.
Steve followed to talk to his best friend.
Jane looked at Thor, who smiled. "We should shower," Thor agreed. Jane smirked, getting up and holding his hand as he got up to take her to the shower.
***
Bucky found Darcy later that afternoon in the lab. "Why do they want you so much?" he asked quietly. She flinched and stared at him. "Any idea?"
"They think I'd make sure they all eat by drawing in people with my boobs."
"Other women are pretty."
"But that one group, which supposedly had higher status because of their species, picked me." He nodded once. "There's prettier women than Natasha, yet they picked her."
"Point."
"They tried to get her too. Different species but they wanted her to be their huntress."
Bucky shivered. "She got free."
"They would've made her eat Clint according to her."
"That's enough to knock me out of it too," he said dryly.
"Hey," she said but smiled. "I'm glad you're okay."
"It's less than what HYDRA did but more freaky."
"Did you get the book?" He nodded. "If you need help, Bruce meditates a lot. I thoroughly suck at it."
"I can go to him for that." He pushed off the wall he was leaning on. "You good?"
"Yeah. All I did was smack a few with a book, stake one, and taze a few others. Some of them go to dust with tazing."
"Interesting." He stared at her. "What did they do to you? Steve wouldn't tell me."
She slumped in her seat, pulling a knee up to cuddle. "They took me from a sports bar where I had been eating dinner with a college friend. I woke up three days later, thankfully not turned, but pregnant." He shuddered. "Magically induced, only took five days. I'm told that usually they would've turned me when I was in my second trimester and removed the dead fetus. Thankfully I managed to escape or make them let me go. I still don't remember much. I remember I got up and beat the shit out of one of them for not using a condom then my mind went white again. It took me three months to remember that." He shuddered. "The baby got adopted by someone. I...I couldn't do that."
"A lot of women did," he agreed. "Or dropped them at orphanages." She nodded. "How did you find all this out?"
She grinned. "I had a watcher show up right after I woke up to help guard me. I delivered in the infirmary with him and his son guarding me and Stark was the one that found me and woke me up. Xander's really nice. His son's great."
"I bet." He frowned. "Can we remove the rest of the vampires from the city?"
"There's over six hundred of them, in all species."
He grimaced. "A lot of work. The slayer?"
"Dara." She wrote down her information for him. "She showed up while I was trying to get you to wake up and get you out of there and took a crossbow to them so we could leave. Then I made her cookies."
"You do make good cookies." She grinned. "Why does Steve scowl at you for that?"
"No one's really sure. He's done it since day one. I know he thought I'd be a stay-at-home mom at one point until Jane pointed out his own wasn't."
"Women usually were in our day unless they were poor or widowed." She shrugged but nodded. "You good with all that?"
"I still have some nightmares. I'm mostly healed. The first time I went out to dinner, Clint tagged along with me. The last time, Tony made me go out with him, Jane, and Bruce. We ran into some others there."
"How many species?"
"Steve got that information." She shifted some. "I know I'm not the equal of a vampire. I'm good if I can get myself out of it. I know I'm a normal woman with normal skills. Even with a lot of training I might get two or three but not a whole group."
"I'll get it from him." He stared at her. "You came in after me?"
She nodded. "It wasn't fair they were trying that on you. Especially with all the past stuff," she said quietly. "I'd go in after Steve and walk away from him scowling at me for it," she finished with a quip.
"I'd have smacked him around."
"I'd break my hand on his jaw," she said dryly.
"Point." He smiled. "I'll talk to him."
She shrugged. "It doesn't really matter to me, Bucky. We weren't great friends before that. We're still not. I don't know why he gives me those looks but I don't need the stress and I'm not going to push myself on him to make him scowl more. He made his choice even though I've always been nice to him. That's all his shit, not mine."
"I get that. I'll still talk to him. He's not usually that judgmental."
She shrugged. "Everyone handles a person they know being raped differently."
He nodded. "They do. Need anything?"
"I'm good actually. Jane's still worshiping at the altar of Thor." He smirked a tiny bit. "Noisy?"
"Yup." He nodded and left, going to talk to Steve. He walked into their shared apartment and smacked Steve on the back of the head. "So why are you scowling at her?"
Steve looked up at him. "I don't."
"You do. I've seen you do it. I thought she was someone who was a bigger asshole than Stark with the looks you give her."
"She's nice I guess," Steve said.
"So why are you treating her like some dirty whore?" Steve flinched. "I'm pretty sure, after being under the same thing she went through, there was nothing she could do to fight them off. Even if it broke a few times she still couldn't get totally free of it."
"They could have put in commands."
"They could've done that to me too," Bucky said dryly. He stared him down until Steve looked away. "With as long as it's been, wouldn't something like that have come out?"
"It could come out in a specific circumstance. At a battle or something."
Bucky walked off shaking his head. "You've had a few of those and I heard you wouldn't eat the food she cooked."
"I didn't like her seasoning," Steve defended.
Bucky looked back at him. "Would your mother be proud of you right now?" That's when he realized what it was; Steve was comparing her to his own mother and she was coming up short since she hadn't raised the baby like some martyr. He went into the bathroom then his own room to let Steve stew. Steve was sulking but oh well. Even Bucky could tell Steve was a dick. He heard Steve get up and stomp out. "JARVIS, please keep Steve away from Darcy? Before he does something stupid?" he asked quietly.
"I've routed the elevator to the gym," the AI said. "I'm assuming he can take hints."
Bucky grinned. "Not always. That's why he used to get into fights." He sat up. "I remember that."
"Could the compulsion spell have loosened the blockage?" the AI suggested. "Mr. Stark wants to know if you're all right."
"I'm good. Let me...." He pulled a notebook over and started to write down things. He remembered a lot more now. When he came out for dinner, there was a cake for him at his seat. Just a single-person sized cake. He stared at it then at the group.
"Darcy made it with Jane's help to congratulate you for knocking more loose," Natasha said. "It's strawberry cake with pastry cream between the layers and chocolate frosting." Bucky grinned, sitting down. His cake went to the side for now. The dinner was nice. Natasha looked at Steve when he stomped up the stairs. "Bruce and I made dinner, Steve." He nodded, sitting down. He looked at the cake.
"The compulsion knocked more memories loose. The ladies made it for me."
"That's nice. Thank you, Natasha."
"I was working on dinner."
"Are we waiting on them and Thor?" Bruce asked.
"Jane got a call while they were baking. Eric Selvig is back in town so they're taking him out to go on a traditional bar hopping binge," Clint said. "Darcy said he even remembered pants without having to be prompted."
"JARVIS, please monitor Darcy's emergency beacon," Stark called.
"Stark, they have Thor with them," Natasha said. "I doubt much is going to get to either of the ladies or him."
"Point but better to be safe than sorry. I'm not sure if one of them might not want Jane for her research."
"Most vampires seem to be more mystical than scientific but you never know," Natasha said. "Her portal theories may just help with them opening ones for things like the battle in LA." The elevator opened and Darcy walked off. She smiled. "You look nice."
"Thank you. I bought this for myself for my graduation from high school." She put down something. "We're planning on these clubs in case Thor gets into another fight with a bro-dude without a clue." She strolled off. "Dara wanted a meeting sometime soon to talk to you about all the vampire spots in the city. She thinks one has some turned HYDRA guys."
"I'll call her after dinner," Stark said. "Have fun, be safe. Call."
She smirked back at him before getting on the elevator. "We will. If Thor can't thump them we'll call." She went down to the lobby to meet up with them.
"That's a very bad mental image," Clint said. "HYDRA vampires?"
"HYDRA had been interested in the mystical," Stark said. "Where is Agent and his merry band of misfits?"
"Fitz and Simmons seem to hang out in their apartments more than up here," Natasha said. "We told them to quit that but they haven't."
Stark looked at the table then up. "JARVIS, herd any of Coulson's team who's here up to eat. They made enough for Thor and the Hulk to pig out together. We can be nice to them and not smack them around too much."
The AI cleared his throat. "They've said they ordered Japanese and were invited out with the other science team, sir, but they will start coming up to eat with the rest of the group if you'd like them to."
"Yes I do," he said dryly. "Before they starve or we have to find them someone like Darcy to watch over them like she does Jane."
"I'll let them know. Anything else, sir? I'm presently reinforcing a window on the gym level from someone trying to cut the glass for entrance." Steve hopped up to go see who it was. The wannabe tech thief was not a happy camper to see him and tried to jump off the building before Steve grabbed him.
Stark looked at Bucky. "Good luck. I heard what you were trying to do earlier."
"Thanks. He's just stubborn." He glanced at the cake then dug into dinner.
***
Bucky was in the common room lounging and not being able to sleep when the science team came back. They all came up to get some coffee. He nodded at Thor and the others. "Any problems?"
"Nay," Thor said with a smile. "They had no problems. The two vampires saw me and ran for their unlives."
"I can't believe New York has so many," Eric said.
"Stark called the local slayer. There's over two thousand in town because they're having a party to celebrate one ancient clan's anniversary of forming or something," Bucky said. He sat up. "They did get two teams of HYDRA agents. They wanted them to protect the party and to up a few clans that do things like bodyguarding other groups of demons."
"Where?" Darcy asked, coming out of the kitchen with a cup of cocoa for him.
He smiled. "Thanks."
"Welcome. It should help you sleep too." He stared at her. She stared back then smiled. "It's my can't sleep, been up to long recipe for after finals. Where?"
"Some private hotel that's not on the tourist track. Stark said he knows where it was and Natasha said it was nice inside."
"So probably on the bad guy 'stay here' list," Jane said. Bucky nodded. "Figures. They probably couldn't go to normal places. Everywhere but Vegas lives during the daytime." She sipped her coffee. "Let us know where so we can avoid them." They went down to Thor and Jane's suite to keep talking. The new geeks to the group followed. It was nice talking to kindred spirits.
Bucky shook his head, sipping the cocoa. He yawned and smiled, going to bed. She was good. Very good. It reminded him of a few of the widows they had known back in the day.
***
Steve walked out to the common area at the sound of knocking on the patio/launch pad door, staring at the woman on the other side. "How did you get there?" he demanded. She had long, dark hair she had pulled back in a ponytail. She was wearing armor and simple leathers underneath them.
"Heimdall," she said bluntly.
He let her in. "JARVIS, is Thor up?" he asked.
"I've already alerted him that Lady Sif has appeared," the AI said.
"Thank you," she said, smiling at the ceiling. "You're a very kind being, JARVIS. He's told us about you."
Thor came off the elevator pulling on a t-shirt. "Is there a battle, Sif?" he asked, giving her a hug.
"Many but not at home. One of the daughters of Asgard was called to this plane to help a female in trouble."
"A slayer?" Steve asked.
She shook her head. "No, not a warrioress or protector. We know of the slayers and most of us cheered about them." She looked at Thor. "It was Himar. She's trapped by whatever the young witch was trying to get free of."
"I will gladly help. I know better than to trust a witch."
She shook her head. "That one is young. Barely ten of their years." Thor winced. "Himar is very much a daughter of Asgard. As you know, you never worry about the sons of Asgard, but the daughters that have had to train to be better than the sons they must gather."
"True, they are better warriors who are not often counted as one." He called his hammer to him. "Where is Himar?"
She showed him the slice of glass that had the map printed on it. "Here."
Thor pointed. "That's merely three blocks to the east."
"I felt you and stopped in to gather you," she quipped. "I could take them down, as you know, but I have not dealt with many mortal enforcement agencies."
"I have but SHIELD has found a rotten core in their agency."
"I've heard. Heimdal warned me before he sent me." Thor smiled and they left together. His clothes changed automatically before he launched himself.
Steve closed the patio/launching pad door, watching Thor take off and take her with him. "Who was that?" he asked the AI.
"That was Lady Sif, Captain. She is one of his oldest friends and he had said that his father suggested he woo her at one time. He and the Warriors Three have been in many battles together. She's his version of Bucky I believe."
"Interesting. She seemed nice."
"I've never heard him say she wasn't," the AI said.
Jane came off the elevator. "I heard from JARVIS. Are they coming back tonight?"
"That may depend on how much of a battle they have to get the female warrior," Steve said.
She nodded. "It's sad that even on Asgard there's no real equality between the sexes." Steve looked confused. "Valkyries have to be able to fight against any warriors they're gathering if they try to get free of them and they're on to help defend Asgard as well. Of course, they're not counted as *real* warriors like Thor and the others are." She grimaced. "It's sad that even the most advanced peoples can't get past that."
"Peggy had ideas about that too," he said.
She smiled. "Most strong women do. We know the system we had to drill through to get there." She walked off. "JARVIS, please wake me up when Thor and his friend get back. I'd love to talk to her if she's here for a few days."
"I shall," the AI said. "I've sent that message to his phone since he did have it on him."
"Wonderful." She went back to her room so she could get some rest after talking to the other scientists.
Steve went back to his own room, thinking about that. Peggy probably would've liked Jane, even if she found her focus odd.
***
Darcy snapped awake on Jane's couch, staring around. Thor nodded at her from the kitchen. She sat up and wandered in. "Any coffee?" Thor handed her a mug. "Thank you, Thor. Did you make it?" He pointed at Sif. Thor was making eggs and pancakes. She smiled. "Thank you, Lady Sif."
"Just Sif, Darcy." She smiled at her. "Jane still rests."
"I can get her up."
"Let her rest for another few moments," Thor said. "She needs her rest. This is Himar. She was summoned by a young witch who needed help."
Darcy paused drinking, staring at him. "More vampires?"
"An older demon who wanted to strip the young witch of power," she said. "She panicked and summoned a warrior who could help protect her."
"Eww. Things like that need slayed sooner." She smiled. "Hi, I'm Darcy. I'm Jane's assistant in the lab." She held out a hand.
"Himar. Training valkyrie," she said proudly.
"Way to go! Not all women are worthy of training or can manage to finish it but I know you'll do great." The young woman, who was probably a teenager, smiled at her. She glanced in at Jane. "She's at the hair pushing stage." She walked in there to move the hair out of Jane's face so it quit irritating her. Jane sighed and went back to sleep. Darcy walked back out with a grin. "She sighed."
Thor grinned back. "She is pretty when she sleeps."
Darcy patted him on the bicep. "We all know that you're in goofy headed love and most of us think it's sweet." He smirked. "Let me go shower and change in my apartment. Be right back." She left, going down to shower, change into real clothes, then brought up her stash of tea bags. She put them on the counter and Sif smiled, taking it to make herself some tea. Himar was sipping coffee but staring at it oddly. "It's caffeine. In this tower, it's like an extra Goddess the science teams pray to," she said, hip checking Thor out of her way to make another pot of coffee. She made a cup just for Jane and brought it in to her.
"She can rest for another five minutes," he called.
"She'll want to clean up, Thor. She's been drooling and your chest wasn't here to absorb it," Darcy quipped.
"All people seem to drool somewhat," Sif said. "My last lover did and I was most unamused at how much he drooled." Thor gave her a shocked look. She smirked. "I may be a Lady but I am also a warrior and there is nothing wrong with me seeing someone who may be worthy of me. He was not but that's nothing to do with how much he drooled when he napped on my shoulder that once."
Thor blinked. "I'd be happy to attend your wedding, Sif."
She smirked. "It will not happen yet, Thor. There's not that many men worthy of my skills and I will not let the Warriors Three be pressed upon my body by your father."
Thor shook his head with a sigh. "He probably wishes you to be happy, Sif. If not, tell him that you know them far too well to marry them. Living in a war camp is very educational."
She laughed, nodding. "Yes it is. Especially about *someone's* shiny underwear."
Thor shook his head with a sigh. "Fandral."
She nodded. "Quite." Jane came stumbling out to hit the coffee pot. Sif got Himar out of the way. "She is not awake for another two cups from what Thor has said," she said quietly.
"I'll be fantastic after another one," Jane said, smiling at her. "Sif, welcome to our apartment. Who's this?" She gulped while staring.
"Himar was summoned by a young witch in jeopardy that was going to be killed by a demon. I was sent to help her but she was doing a good job of getting them free before we got there."
"She was," Thor agreed, smiling at her. "Some day she will be as good as the Warriors Three together, as a proper Valkyrie should be." Himar beamed and bounced a bit.
Darcy winked at her. "Women always have to be better. They always think we're just pretty, not useful."
"Some do see our wombs as well as our makeup," Jane quipped. She smiled at Himar. "I'm Jane Foster."
"I've heard about you. The trainers gossip."
Jane smiled. "Gossip can be both good and bad. Depending on how honest it is and what it's used for."
"They're usually right," Sif admitted. "Though annoying to the female warriors."
"Great, Asgard has jocks," Darcy quipped. "Like the guys who play sports and think they're god's gift to women," she explained at the three confused looks. "He's the best at his sport so therefore women should fall all over him and men should envy him."
"Yes, most of them are like that," Sif said.
"We should introduce rugby," Darcy said with a grin for Jane.
"Don't do that. Asgard doesn't have that many brainless mimbos," Jane said.
"Mimbo?" Himar asked.
"You know the women who are only good for being a trophy on someone's arm?" Jane asked. Himar nodded, she knew a few girls like that. "We call those bimbos. Mimbos are the male version."
"Ah! Fandral!" She smiled and nodded. Sif laughed but nodded.
"He has proven he has skills but when he is not being a warrior, muchly," Thor agreed, smiling at Jane. "His younger brother is much worse at it however. He wants to be a bard." He kissed Jane and got her more coffee. She grinned and sipped it. "Darcy?" She accepted more coffee. He took the bread from her stash. "Thank you. I hadn't known you had raisin bread."
"It was on the day old sale cart," she said. "So perfect for toast."
"That is good, gives it strength for toppings," Thor said.
"Or french toast," Jane said, smiling at her.
"Thor made pancakes."
"Thor's pancakes are good," Jane said, smiling at him. He smirked at her. Himar was giggling into her cup of coffee. "No innuendo meant," Jane quipped. "Sorry."
"Thor makes many girls think such thoughts," Sif said dryly, smirking at Jane. "Then they see the cape and wonder about other issues." Darcy burst out laughing with Himar.
Thor looked at her. "Not likely." But he was smiling slightly.
"Many girls do, Thor," Sif said, patting him on the arm. "You're burning it." He flipped the present pancake and removed the eggs from heat. Sif looked at Jane. "The jealous girls who Thor spared no attention, like your bimbos usually, spread rumors that he was more into his brother. Odin had a few married off out of his sight to stop those rumors." Himar was staring in awe at her. Sif nodded. "Any time Thor took no notice of the pretty girls trying to get his attention. Many thought Loki was very pretty for that reason. His mother was not amused and she married off most of that group out of *her* sight."
Thor smiled, a bit sadly. "I do think my mother would be amused." Jane hugged his back. "Thank you, Jane."
"No matter how long it's been, you'll always miss your mom," Darcy said quietly. "Family is thicker than blood."
Thor nodded. "They usually are. Thank you as well, Darcy."
"Hey, we've all lost people. You're supposed to grieve them, even if it's not what great, huge warrior sorts do."
He nodded. "Many would not but I agree." He kissed her on the head then handed her a plate. Himar got another one. They went to eat at the table. He, Sif, and Jane talked while he finished cooking. Sif knew what Volstagg and Hogun were doing as well. It was good to catch up to his friends. Himar and Darcy were talking about young woman things and pretty men. Himar promised she wouldn't try to take one of the pretty ones in the tower home with her as her intended. Darcy grinned at that promise then pulled up pictures of the Avengers.
Himar moaned, touching one. "That one uses a bow?"
"He does. That's Clint. Codename Hawkeye."
"He is very nice looking. He would make a good mate."
"Ask him," Darcy quipped. "He has to agree or you'll have to face off with Natasha when she steals him back."
Himar pouted. "Is he hers?"
"They're friends like Sif and Thor are."
"Oh!" She nodded. "I need friends like that in training but many of the warriors I'm training with are not worthy to speak to me. They drool and they make fun of women."
Sif walked over to pat her on the head. "They did to me too. They will grow up some year. Hopefully. Though you are right, none of the ones in your present class are worthy of friendship. You'll be moved to another one soon, but you'll be the youngest there. They may have friendship to offer but only if you act like yourself and not some foolish girl chit."
She shook her head. "I would never be the sort of girl who enjoys ribbons and lacy things to entice men."
"Even my mother, who is the head Valkyrie, enjoyed dressing up," Thor said.
"Even I do at times," Sif agreed with a smile. "You can be both."
Himar grimaced. "I don't like dresses. That's why my mother found me a tutor. She said since I could not be a traditional woman I would have to be a warrior instead."
Sif shook he head. "You will be what you want to be, Himar. If you want to do something beyond fight, do so."
Jane nodded. "A lot of people treat women in science the same way, like we're playing dress up and making their science dirty by having womanly things."
"Then you have to break their ideas and move around them," Darcy said. "I did in college too. Political science has a lot of rich, white boys. Me being a female wasn't that unusual but my best friend was a minority woman and they nearly drove her out of the college all together. You have to fight for who you want to be."
Himar nodded. "I will think on that. Right now I seem to like being a warrior and I'm good at it."
"Being a true warrior is much different from training as one," Sif said. "It's long hours of battles with long hours of healing in simple camps with just tents. It's scars and cuts and blood. It's watching those around you be injured. Even Thor has gotten seriously injured in battle." Thor nodded, pointing at a scar on his arm. "I meant the one on your stomach." He pulled up his shirt to show her. "That was nearly a pike staff through his gut. His mother was nearby and healed it over the course of a month." She showed off a few of her own scars. "Being a warrior means being strong during battles and training times but it also means you will bear marks from it. It may mean that you may not have the life that other women do. You may not have children. You may not have a spouse. Do you wish to give up those chances to be a warrior?"
Himar pouted. "I think so."
"We will talk of it later, when you have more time to think. The boys you train with need the same truths. The trainers are good but they do not want to tell you this as they know many will quit. Even though everyone should be able to protect themselves if something attacks them or their families."
"That is true," Thor said. "The later trainers told myself to give up being a warrior and just be a politician, a future king. That kings being warriors were weak and could only prove themselves with a sword."
Sif nodded. "They were honest with me about how others see women warriors who are not valkyries. Frankly, I think I took my last lover because it stopped the rumors about my choices of bed partners."
"Tough women often have to deal with rumors of being lesbians," Darcy agreed.
Sif smiled at her. "I had those when I was Himar's age. Now I get ones that say I only like devices."
"No, I think that's Stark," she said. Sif cracked up, swatting her on the arm before going back to the kitchen. Darcy smiled at Himar. "Figure out what sort of woman you want to be and work for it. If you want to be a tough woman, then be one. If that takes a sword or a book or a healing touch, then so be it. Even then, you don't have to avoid all softness. I bake, sometimes with Jane's help."
Himar nodded. "I will think on that future. I do not know what else I could do beyond being a warrior."
"There's many things," Thor said. "Talk to Lord Thisba's son. He has many ideas on that and is always happy to help warriors find a calling that does not include death."
"I will do that when we get back."
"And I will let those wagging tongues know that you were doing good getting yourself free before Thor and I got there, Himar. Because there will be some."
She nodded. "As always."
"There's always some woman who thinks strong women are wrong and try to put them down or hold them down," Jane said.
Darcy nodded. "Bimbos hate being shown up by stronger women. It makes them look as shallow as they are. The same as for every goddess out there, there's a whore trying to hold her down to make herself look better."
Himar stared at her. "I know a few of those. One's my sister."
Darcy smiled. "Not all women learn they can be strong. Though there's a strength to being a good mother. Otherwise you have kids who are monsters."
Sif giggled, nodding. "Weak mothers created that little boy that you train with who everyone wants to make sure won't procreate," Sif told her. "Strong mothers grow women like myself and Thor."
Himar nodded. "If I should ever spawn I'd like to be a strong mother. I hope I would be."
"You will be because you've seen what weak ones do," Darcy said.
"That's a good point. Though I do not plan on spawning."
"Most females who go to war think we will have children when we are ready to retire to teach. Though some do have an accident and have one. Then their careers are usually over until the child is older, which so would she be."
Himar shook her head quickly. "No thank you."
"Good girl," Thor said with a smile. "The healers have ways around that problem. Smart women use them."
"The ones on earth even take out that monthly problem most women have," Darcy quipped with a grin. "For months on end. You can have four a year instead of twelve."
Himar gaped, staring at her. Then she stared at Sif. "We have methods that will remove it as well. Though not very pleasant." Himar nodded quickly. "We will talk about that when we get back. The healers can do that and you will not be able to procreate for ten years."
"I could like that very much," Himar said. Sif smiled. "Thank you, Lady Sif."
"You're most welcome. All warriors teach the younger ones who follow us things."
"I taught many of them to duck pranks," Thor said with a smile. "Because they were annoying myself and my brother." Sif smiled but shook her head. "Volstagg was one such."
"Thankfully all of us grew up," Sif said dryly, sipping her tea. Thor nodded she was right. "Did you bring your gitar?"
"No. I have not played it since I was young, Sif. You know that." She smirked meanly at him. He sighed, looking at Jane. "When I was young, we used to go to sit with the older warriors but entertained them so they would quit trying to send us from the room while they talked and told stories."
Jane nodded. "Teenagers are like that," she said.
"Some day I'll tell your teenagers about that," Darcy called with a grin and a finger wiggle wave at her. Jane went pale and shook her head with a whimper. Darcy's nose crinkled up as she grinned at Jane.
Sif smothered a smile. "Some day Thor will need children but you are young enough to have some for a few years yet. There's no real hurry until you become middle aged."
"Pregnancy is harder for humans after thirty-five."
"That's mean, Darcy!" Jane complained.
"More risk of birth defects, Jane, and if you had a kid we'd all dote on it."
"Darcy!"
"JARVIS, you'd help us if Jane had a baby, right?" she asked.
"Yes, we could all enjoy the first baby Avenger," the AI said, sounding amused. "We have much room for a nursery that would have the best security devices. Mr. Stark would probably adore making baby gear for it."
"Not this year," Jane squeaked, hiding her face on Thor's arm. "Thor? Make her stop? Please?" she begged.
"It is not time for children yet," Thor said, hugging Jane. "We have not proclaimed our mated status yet or anything of the like."
Darcy grinned. "Down here, you can run to Vegas and have it done the next day."
Thor blinked. "That would only happen if that's what my Jane wanted or if we had an accident and a child was already on the way."
"If you wished to marry in the city, it can be done within a week's time," the AI said. "Between the license needs and all that. Someone would have to create the proper paperwork for Lord Thor to sign for a license in any manner they chose to wed. Birth certificates are necessary. Agent Coulson really should have already done that. I'll ask him when he shows back up. That way he has the proper papers to get identification. We'd like to not have another incident like we had in the park with the officer on horseback not believing him."
"Point," Thor admitted. Sif stared at him, smirking at his unhappy look. "He demanded my identity paper. As I do not have one for this realm, he wanted to put me in jail until one could be found, but then I called here and had Pepper talk to him. He apologized and said he didn't realize I was an Avenger."
Darcy waved a hand. "JARVIS, call Skye for me?"
"What's up?" a female voice asked a minute later. "Huge problems? We're traveling," Skye said.
"Slight one Agent Man should've handled years ago," Darcy said. "Tell him Thor doesn't have a human ID card of any sort, or any other papers?"
She repeated that. They all heard the grunt of displeasure. "Bossman said that he'd get to work on that when he got back. Is it necessary?"
"So far we've only had one cop who tried to jail him as a wacko," Darcy said. "Pepper fixed it."
Skye repeated that. "He'll have it within a month unless there's an emergency need like Jane Foster is pregnant so they're speeding into a wedding."
"Not yet but teasing her about that brought up that discussion," Darcy said.
"Great. Thanks, Darcy." She hung up repeating that.
Darcy finished her coffee with a grin. "That way you get real ones instead of pretty good fakes that Natasha could probably get you."
Thor nodded. "That could be helpful." Someone knocked so he went to answer it. "Tony," he said, letting him in.
"I heard you were hiding really talented yet beautiful women here," Stark said with a grin for Darcy, kissing Himar's hand. "Welcome to Avengers tower." She giggled and blushed, ducking her head. He looked at the amused older woman. "And you as well, Lady Sif. Thor's told us about you and how great you are."
"I can be when necessary. This is Himar. She's in training."
"Training happens every day, like learning," he quipped.
"True," Sif agreed. She made some more hot water for tea. "Did you come to flirt?"
"Nah. I came to see where Coulson's geeks were. He called them and couldn't get them."
"They stumbled back to their apartments around three," Darcy said.
"They're probably puppy piled on the couch then," Stark said. "I'll go check on them." He stared at her. "You good?"
"We were fine, Tony. Not like anyone wanted to make Thor angry. The one guy who stepped up to Jane and offered to dance with her, even though she wasn't his style because she was dressed down but looked lonely and bored, his words not mine, learned to have tact after Mew Mew appeared."
Tony stared at her. "Mew mew?"
"She could not pronounce Mjöllnir," Thor said.
"Ah!" He nodded, smiling at her. "She's done it to others and made a lab intern walk off crying."
"Little bitch needed to. All she was there for was the panty express to the bigger geek in you." Stark blinked at her. "Yeah, really. She wanted you for the prestige. Was using the two lab geeks she made fight about her pantyless state as a ladder."
"I hate women like that," Tony said. "So damn shallow." He looked at Thor. "You do have papers. They were in Fury's safe. Coulson said they probably got destroyed so he'll either find them or make new ones." Thor nodded. "Or I can have Natasha fake one until then?"
"I hope I will not need one but so much in this country requires one."
Tony nodded. "Yes it does. Oh, speaking of, we opened you a special account so any paychecks or anything could be gotten to. We included Jane's name as someone who could withdraw if necessary, for things like ransoms. Usually that would take an ID or two but, well, they knew where you came from so they made it like a little kid's account. That way you didn't need ID and Jane's ID was good enough. Also, Jane?" She blinked at him. "Got that identity theft thing fixed finally. So they put all that money back in your account. That way you can quit living out of Darcy's. Also, whoever did the contract did not read hers about her paycheck." He stared at Darcy.
"I read that I'd finally be getting one after three years," Darcy quipped with a smile. "I get one and it's nice."
"You're making under what all the other lab techs make."
"Technically I'm an intern," she said dryly.
Stark stared at her. "Don't make me go to Pepper to talk to her about that." Darcy rolled her eyes but shrugged. "Thank you!" He looked at her outfit. "I haven't seen that shirt before."
"It was in the bottom of the closet. I need to do laundry. Either that or I need to find a great thrift store again."
He shook his head with a sigh. "You know we have a formal event coming up soon, right?" he asked.
"Why tell me? I'm still only an intern," she said dryly. She smiled. "That means no female version of the monkey suit."
He snorted, smirking as he shook his head. "No way in hell." She rolled her eyes again. "You can show up and be pretty for a night."
"Why? So assholes who only see the breasts can paw over me?"
"You're allowed to beat them but not taze them," Tony said.
"Yay," she said sarcastically. "Jane, coffee me please?" She brought over the pot for Darcy to get some more. "Thanks." She smiled at Himar, who shook her head quickly. "So I have to help Jane find a pretty dress?"
"You have to both find a pretty dress or I'm siccing Pepper on you. It's for charity. A local children's hospital charity." She sighed. "And I've already got it planned that Pepper has to talk to everyone about it tonight. I just have to tell her that." He smiled. "Wear something flattering and pretty. Tell Agent if he's here he has to as well." He smiled at Sif then at Himar. "Pleasure to meet you both. Have a good time with Thor and Jane. At least they're not kissing right now." He left to go find Simmons and Fitz. They had to be somewhere.
Darcy looked at Jane. "I have that one dress," she said.
"Which doesn't fit, is fugly beyond belief, and did I mention you look poor in it?" Darcy said. "Maybe I'll be kidnaped instead that night."
Thor scowled. "It is no harm to any of us to do things for charity."
"You don't have to wear a long dress and heels," Jane told him. "You get to wear a tux."
"What is a tux?" Sif asked. Darcy pulled up pictures for her. "Oh, I see." She looked at Thor then at the picture. "I hope they can find one to fit him."
"I'm sure someone can," Darcy said. "They found one to fit Steve."
Jane smiled. "He's pretty but uptight."
Thor shook his head. "He may have his reasons but he's reacting poorly and not hiding them well."
"I'm at the stage of 'whatev's," Darcy said. "Because I don't really care." They all smiled at her. She looked at Himar. "Speaking as someone who's been there, never ever date a guy who gives you dirty looks for the quirky, funny things you do. Never date a guy who picks at what you do, what you wear, or how you talk. Never, ever, date a man who you wouldn't want to woo your little sister that you adore. Because guys like that aren't men, they're slugs in people suits. And if one hurts you, you rip his arm off or tell someone like Thor who can rip his damn arms off."
She smiled. "We do not have many that would hurt their spouses. I hope."
Sif snorted. "That depends on where you are. Some of the outer reaches of Asgard are a lot more rough, Himar. She's right though. If he does not appreciate you for your little quirks and eccentricities, then he is not worthy of your time. And if one should strike you, his hand should meet your sword before a heartbeat is out." She stared at her. "Not many women think on such matters but female warriors tend to draw men who feel threatened because we carry swords that are bigger than the ones they were born with." Darcy got up to hug her. "Thank you. I think."
Darcy grinned. "I didn't think you could make the dick comparison." She went back to her seat.
"Many men think with it instead of their brains, especially around pretty women," Sif said with a shrug. "I have personally cut two off in the last three years because they decided I needed to compare them to my sword in person. They lost. Greatly. Well, not *greatly* but in a personal sense it was great for them." She sipped from her new cup of tea.
"I just taze those sort," Darcy quipped. "It's pretty when they scream about electricity running through their tiny penises."
Thor looked at Jane. "Don't look at me. I used a spork on one guy back at Culver who tried to entice me by flashing me in the cafeteria. I wonder if he ever recovered."
"She's why a whole fraternity will not take a class with her," Darcy said with a smile for her bestie. "They're scared she'll get the rest of them."
"What is a spork?" Himar asked. Thor found one in a drawer and held it up. "Interesting. So it's a spoon but yet has a fork's tines?" Thor nodded. "Hmm. Very useful probably."
"Quite," Jane agreed. "They're given out a lot at fast food places."
"It's always handy to keep disposable silverware," Darcy agreed. "That way you don't have to worry about cleaning it when you're sick or too tired to do that."
Sif stared at it. "We had something like that in travel silverware from what I remember. My father had one. He never stabbed anyone with it but I can see how it would hurt. Especially on uncovered flesh." She nodded. Thor smiled but put it back. They settled on the couch to talk some more. Jane learned a lot of dirt on Thor as a teenager from Sif. Most of which made Himar gape in horrified awe at them but it was cute.
***
The Babes of the Night.