Xander looked amused at the guys who were trying to rob him at knife point. "To blatantly steal a movie line, those aren't knives. This is a knife," he said, pulling out his hunting blade. "Plus it's blessed for when I have to stab bad demons." They ran off. Xander grinned, putting it back into the holster, which hid it. He heard someone coming up on his blind side and ducked out of the way, pushing them against the wall. "Why are you trying to harm me?" he asked coolly.
"NYPD, sir. You're hiding that illegally."
"I'm Council and I'm on patrol." He let him go. The officer glared at him. "I am. I have my ID if you want to see it."
"No, I know about you," he sneered, pulling out his gun. "Let's go."
"Um, no." He dialed his phone in the holster.
"911, what is your emergency?" the phone said.
"I have some guy with a gun in front of me who claims he's an officer who just tried to sneak up and attack me, ma'am. He's not in a uniform, doesn't have a badge, did not produce ID, and if he doesn't put that little pea shooter up I'm going to have him eaten by something. Can I please get a patrol officer to handle this?"
"Where are you, sir?"
Xander looked up. "No damn clue. I'm Council and I'm on patrol but I'm not with the local house. They all had to be moved for their own safety earlier. I'm near a deli that says Broadway and Miccles?"
"I can find that in the directory. How near?" the 911 operator asked.
"In the alley across the street. I just ran off a group of muggers."
"I'm a detective, boy. They won't help you. You assaulted me."
"First, I didn't assault you. You were sneaking up on my blind side and tried to grab me. All I did was hold you against a wall to see what you thought you were doing. Second, if you were an actual officer, you would've pulled cuffs, not a gun. Or your badge when I asked what you thought you were doing walking up on me that way. I didn't learn to be any less paranoid in Africa, dude." The man cocked the gun. "Sure, shoot me with 911 on the line."
"They're some of us. She'll cover."
"No I won't," the 911 operator assured him. "And we do tape all calls, sir. There's a patrol unit a few blocks from you, sir. Do you have a name?"
"Xander Harris."
"He has concealed weapons," the officer said.
"Yes I do. Then again, I'm on Council patrol. They're totally invisible until I have to pull them," Xander said, staring at him. "And I have a carry concealed license for the US. Given by the government so it's good in all states. Especially when I'm on patrol." He waved at the cop car. "They're here, ma'am."
"Thank you, sir. Please stay calm."
"I'm fairly calm and a bit amused," Xander admitted. "This pea shooter won't be killing me and the guy behind it won't be either." He walked over to the officer. "Officer, I'm the one that called 911." He pointed. "That's the guy who snuck up on me and pulled a gun."
"I'm a detective and he pulled out a concealed knife well outside of street legal," the guy said. "Then he assaulted me."
"He snuck up on my blind side and tried to harm me. All I did was push him against the wall to see what the fuck he thought he was doing." He pulled the knife and put it onto the hood. "And yeah, there were muggers." He pointed at the staring group up the street. He also pulled his ID and license. "That's my authority to carry any weapon I damn well see fit, especially on patrol. Which I'm on."
"Okay," the driving officer said. "Let me run your ID, sir."
"Sure." He let him do that. "Let me call the people on the other end to not panic. They'll do that and try to protect me by doing something stupid." He sent a message from his backup phone that had his contacts in it. They sent back an 'okay'. "Go ahead. They'll not do something stupid."
"Two phones?"
"One has my contacts from Council business. The other's my personal phone."
"Oh." He ran it, blinking at it. "The file says you're allowed to have any weapon you need for Council business."
"As I found most of the slayers locally to be in bad health earlier, I'm doing their patrol tonight. I was doing that when I was nearly mugged and had to pull out my knife." He put it back into the holster. "Then that guy snuck up on my blind side."
The other officer got his ID to run it. "It says he is a detective and his boss wants to speak to him about his overtime problem." He looked at the detective. "He assaulted you, Detective?"
"I pushed him against the wall to see who he was," Xander said. "I'm just off patrol rotations in Africa training the young slayers." The driving officer shuddered. "Yeah, we had a lot of days like that," he agreed, grimacing. "I'm a bit paranoid but rightly so usually. It's not like there's not a price on my head. I don't know who he is but he acted like one of them. I'm not going to let someone take me out. The girls would have to put up with Buffy training them in out of the way areas. Or Willow, who thought all of Africa spoke English so I could talk to them."
The driving officer shook his head. "Calm down please, Mr. Harris."
"I am." He grinned. "I was having a nice, easy patrol with a hot pretzel until the attempted mugging, which I handled on my own. Then he tried to jump me and he didn't say a *thing* about being a detective until I called 911. He claimed NYPD but nothing else. That's why I called. If he's yours, he's not supposed to sneak up on me that way from what I know about that stuff."
"No, he should've announced himself," the officer agreed, staring at the detective.
"If he wasn't NYPD, you guys could handle the poser or whatever he is." The guy drew his gun again and fired at Xander but Xander moved himself and the officer out of the way then threw something at him. The 'detective' screamed as the dagger sunk into his shoulder. "Huh." He looked at the officer he had moved, helping him up. "Sorry."
"No, thank you for making sure I didn't get shot, sir. Where were you hiding that dagger?"
Xander pointed at his holster with a grin. "That was in the open."
"Oh." He looked at his partner. "You okay?"
"Yup, he shoved me when he shot at Mr. Harris."
Xander shrugged, leaning against the hood. "I don't know why. I have no clue. That's why I called you guys."
"We can get that straightened out," the officer agreed. "We'll have to confiscate that knife."
"That's fine. It's not special to me."
The officers nodded and got them help. The shift supervisor for the borough showed up too. They talked to him and then came back. The shift supervisor looked at Harris. "Do you wear spandex?"
"No, sir. I'm with the Council. I'm the guy who trains the girls in Africa actually."
"Oh," he said, looking at the detective who was complaining loudly. Then at him again. "Your ID please?" Xander showed him those and his permission to carry weapons. "Did the detective ask for that?"
"He didn't even say he was a detective until I called 911. I heard NYPD but he didn't have a badge. That's why I called."
"That's a wise move, kid."
"Thank you, sir. I'm just trying to finish patrol. The local girls are sick."
The guy stared at him. "I got that memo."
"Putting that around means someone could hear and they could be in danger."
"Point. You guys are all paranoid."
"Then again, there's plenty out to get us. Including nice, normal people who hate us for acknowledging demons. We've had attacks on the local house by some of those sort. And I have a price on my head for handling a problem."
"I'd be paranoid too. This knife?" Xander pulled his hunting knife then put it back. "That's definitely concealed."
"My license says I can."
"It does," he said, handing it back. "I don't like this situation."
"I didn't like him sneaking up on my blind side on purpose. Then again, how did he see my knife since I was in the alley thanks to the muggers pushing me in there?"
"I don't like that insinuation any more than the situation," he said.
"Me either but I'm a realist and there's a handful of assholes in any organization. That's why we had to defend the main house against military guys a few months back."
"I saw that." He frowned. "Still hate that argument."
"I hate that it's a reality. Then again, there's still Klan members too. Someday we'll get past all that. Humanity has to some year."
"Point." He watched the guy being loaded into an ambulance. "You're staying local?"
"For about a week."
"We're going to have a few talks about whether or not you're going to be charged."
"He tried to shoot me and nearly got one of your officers."
"He did, sir," that officer said. "Mr. Harris kindly got us both out of the way."
The shift supervisor nodded. "That's good and I'm not doubting that. Though it's your job to arrest the guy, not his to throw a knife at him."
"I tend to react fast because attacked before," Xander said, grimacing and putting his hands in his pockets with a slump of his shoulders. "I know I'm a bit paranoid but for us that's called surviving. He's not the first one that's tried to shoot me."
"This month?" the shift supervisor asked.
"Nope. Two demons tried to shoot me on the way back from Africa a few weeks ago to get the price on my head. We were on our way to the airport in Nigeria."
The shift supervisor sighed, but nodded. "Where are you staying?"
"The local slayer house."
"We'll come see you tomorrow. Let us higher ups talk about this."
"Yes, sir." He hung up his phone, getting a dirty look. "911."
"Not a bad idea," he admitted, stomping off. They had to talk to that detective to see what he was thinking before they decided to charge the guy. Plus find any cameras locally.
Xander shrugged at the officers. "Should I finish my patrol?"
"No," one said.
"Okay. I'll go back there with a pause to get dinner." He walked off, going back there. Giles was going to be yelling for weeks about this.
***
Giles answered the phone with a sigh of displeasure. "Please be good news and not a salesman or a problem," he said in greeting.
"Well, I narrowly averted a problem," Xander said. "I didn't get arrested when the officer tried to sneak up and shoot me for that price on my head."
"Oh, dear Lord, Xander!" he complained.
"I was scaring off muggers, Giles! He snuck up on me. He tried to shoot me in front of other officers too. They finally got him to admit he wanted the price on my head, and found out I have more than one," he finished more cheerfully. "So I did a great job solving things that made religious nuts cringe in that fun way. This new one's even from a religious nut in the US. One of the ones that's decrying us all and put a price on the house to take out any of the minis they could get to. So kinda watch the kids on the way to school better?"
"I can have someone do that, yes," Giles said dryly. "Why were you not arrested? I ask because I got a call from them asking about you and they told me what happened."
"Because he was trying to kill me and all I did wrong was push him against the wall to see why he had pulled a gun on me."
"Charming. Xander, do go on vacation somewhere boring until my ulcer goes away?"
"No can do, bossman. I was going to handle London since Kennedy doesn't seem to want to. Speaking of, should I beat her ass in sparring this time to make her quit pouting about me?"
"She wasn't going to?"
"No. She had that vision in the email, had read it, and hadn't done a thing with it for over three months. And that was the second, reminder, sending. I sent it when I had it."
"Oh, dear."
"Um, yeah. Gloria said she spotted it in the email and asked about it but Kennedy said it wasn't our job."
Giles rubbed his forehead. "I'm not certain if proving yourself better will end the pouting or not. Last time it made her more pouty, drink a bit, then go heavier on her training. Which then got you yelled at by Willow."
"Okay. So...London then back here to help with the new one, which is in your desk drawer. I realized I hadn't told you." Giles pulled it out to read it, grunting in displeasure. "I'm pretty sure they're going to try the girls, Giles," he said more quietly. "I may be paranoid but.... We won't bend to their visions."
"We can initiate protections," he assured him. "Andrew!" The younger man walked in. "Here, from Xander."
"'Drew, I'm pretty sure they're going to think we won't bow and scrape."
"I won't," he agreed, taking it with him. "We'll work on protections."
"Watch the religious nuts," Xander called. "They've got a price on the young minis."
Andrew leaned back into the office. "We saw that when a few of them became cute little baby hedgehogs. Willow, very not amused that early in the morning."
"I had wondered about that," Giles admitted. "I hope she turned them in and back into humans so they could be arrested."
"Yup, when the cops got there to help," Andrew said.
"'Drew, they could be in the locals," Xander said. "They're everywhere else."
"Good point. Thanks, Xander. Be more paranoid but get a girlfriend or something."
"After London," he said dryly.
Giles snorted. "I hope we don't need to do more than guard and warn."
"Kennedy still hasn't warned that college. I called to check and she lied to Kia about doing that because I called the college and they said this was the first they'd heard of it."
"Crap," Giles muttered. "Thank you for being so proactive about that, Xander."
"NP, Giles. Just like always." He groaned. "Ooh, shit, I hate those."
"Vision?" Giles asked.
"Yeah. I'm not going to London. As soon as some of us are out of immediate reach, they're coming." He hung up, dialing another number. Out of service. He tried another one. Still out of service. He squinted at his phone, hitting one last number. "Vision," he moaned. "Damn it." His ex asked him what was going on. "If I go help in London's thing in a few days, they're going to attack the girls." He blinked. "Slayer house in New York. Thank you." He hung up and leaned his aching head against the wall. "Fucking people with ideas," he muttered. His ex got there with something for his headache, taking him to his hotel room to baby him a bit. He hissed what was going on in the guy's ear and got a nod it'd be helped.
When Xander was finally asleep, that ex went to call that in. Unfortunately he was eaten before he could report to his bosses at HYDRA.
Spike looked in there, shaking his head. "Only the evil ones like the whelp," he said dryly, calling his own ex. "Smuffy, guess who got sent back to help with the girls being attacked by HYDRA if their stronger protectors who can take out humans go off to handle things." He hung up and went to get Xander up. Xander scowled at him. "He was an octopus."
"I have no idea why they picked an octopus when a hydra was a snakey thing." He sat up with a groan. "Are you going to London?"
"No. Neither of us are. They can handle it and Kennedy will get her arse swatted by the watcher git." Xander nodded, getting up with help and out to the slayer house. Xander invited him in and called Gloria to warn her. Then the other minis that weren't in safe locations.
***
Andrew walked up to the meeting area, throwing in a gas grenade then releasing all his little robotic friends. Then he strolled off happy with what he had done. The agents standing there got smiled at. "They wanted to hurt slayers. Little girls aren't targets and I nearly took over the world. They're pathetic compared to my geek trio." He smiled as he disappeared thanks to Willow. "All nanited."
"Good," she agreed.
"Can we unleash the other problem?"
"Yes, on the ones that come here to hurt the girls. They're fair game, Andrew."
He smirked, calling up plans to make his system finish making things. It had been Warren's but he was putting it to a lot better uses. They all forgot he used to be a bad guy. Sure, Warren had been insane and a genius. Jonathan had nearly gotten all the fame and chicks thanks to that book deal. Andrew, he had *plans*. Great plans. Xander walked in and Andrew squeaked.
Xander looked at him. "I don't care if you take over the world, Andrew. Leave me a beach full of bikinis."
"I can do that." He went back to his ideas. "Hi, Spike. Back again?"
"Feel like a damn yo-yo," the vampire complained.
Xander looked at him. "You don't look like Buffy, except the dyed blond hair." Willow squeaked. Xander grinned at the vampire. "Thanks for the saving by the way. I thought I could trust that ex."
"He probably went for the easy power." He smirked at Willow. "I'm back."
"Ladies, house meeting!" Xander called.
"The minis are at school," Willow complained.
"We can talk to them after the girls who are old enough to protect themselves figure some stuff out." They wandered into the kitchen. "'Drew?"
"Get in here!" Andrew called. "It's a damn huge power play going on by certain Powers!"
The rest of them came in, including the watchers. Xander nodded. "Okay, guys. Truth. I've had six visions now of problems going on thanks to old programs coming back to bite everyone on the ass. They're the ones that let the Initiative be started to see what they could do. They're the ones behind a few wars. We're a blockage to their colons full of shit because we'd be the ones helping the ones they hate." He laid out things.
"Wars? Like Vietnam?" one of the watchers asked.
"As in the Cold War," Xander said. "These guys were a teenaged organization during World War II." They groaned. "And we're a block of 'that ain't right' to put it like someone else did." The girls all groaned. "That plus there's a *charming* new price on the minis by some religious nuts."
"I always wondered if we should use walnuts to represent them or almonds," one of the girls said.
Xander grinned at her. "Brazil nuts since almost no one likes eating them." She grinned back. He pointed. "These are the visions. They may know I had them. We had to warn some people we've had to work with in the past."
They gathered to read them over. Giles grimaced at the new one. "That's rather rude of them." He looked at Xander and Spike. "We'll make sure your rooms are comfortable for an extended stay."
"Thanks."
"Ta, mate," Spike agreed.
"His is still in the back of the basement, past the emergency rooms," Andrew said, glancing up then going back to what he was working on. "There." He smiled. "That'll help."
Xander stared at him. "If you're doing something that'll make you seem like Jonathan when he was having his 'I'm a sexy geek' douche moment, don't let it hit the girls."
"I'm not! I have more class than that."
Xander grinned. "I sicced a few succuba that owed me kittens on the ones I knew about."
Andrew moaned. "That's kinda evil, Xander."
"Thank you!"
Buffy stared at them, then shook her head. "It's gotta be a guy thing." She looked at Giles. "What're we doing about this?"
"I believe we should move them somewhere safer."
Xander looked at him. "They're international. I do have an idea of one I can ask for help. I'm not sure if he would. Which would really mean I'd need to be in London for a day or so."
"Can one of the girls ask instead?" Giles asked.
"I don't know if he'd listen."
"See if you can, then if not you can go and we'll be on guard." Xander nodded. "Any other ideas we have?"
"Can protections help?"
Willow shrugged. "Against normal humans? It'd hit all of you too."
"We could tie it to the old marking that we got upon our oaths," one said.
"Except that ninety percent of us don't have them because they stopped doing that thirty years ago and no one can make the special ink to make them now," another said. He scowled at the old researcher. "Thanks for thinking the only good ones are from your years."
"I would've walked away from him," Buffy said. "He couldn't have made it in Sunnydale. He's too uptight."
That watcher nodded. "I fear I would've been, yes." She grinned at him. "Then again, I wouldn't have let you date."
She shrugged. "I got to go on dates even when I shouldn't have."
"And almost joined the cheer squad," Andrew quipped. "Until Amy's mom went psycho to get limited fame again."
Buffy nodded. "That's still freaky."
Xander grinned. "You know, someone saved her statue. It's in the museum for Sunnydale's disappearance. It's on the website."
Willow and Buffy both sighed and shook their heads. "Great," they muttered together.
"As long as she doesn't blind anyone else or burn them alive," Andrew said dryly. "Can we get her out of the statue?" Xander shrugged. "Giles?" He shrugged. "Then that's probably a great thing." He went back to his plans.
Giles looked at the other watchers, telling them about Amy and her mother. They all groaned and shook their heads. "Which is why I did tell one girl she couldn't join the pep squad but she was more than happily granted permission to join the flag corps for the band."
"Girls gotta have fun," Buffy quipped with a grin for him.
"I doubt she realizes how much practice that is," Andrew quipped back.
"She's good at practice stuff and I can help her learn new routines," Buffy said. "I did great when I was a cheerleader. I always learned routines after a few times going over them."
"Cordy said she learned them after one run through," Xander said. Buffy nodded. "Speaking of cheerleaders. Buffy, your facebook page? Can you make it less revealing?"
"Yup," she agreed. "I can do that later."
"Thanks."
"What's a facebook?" one of the younger research watchers asked.
"A social media site where you can connect to people," Willow said. "Businesses are on there too so you can sometimes get coupons and stuff on sales or special promotions as well."
"Oh, one of those things. I don't deal with those."
The oldest watcher shook his head. "I'm on there to keep track of that one nephew of mine. He shares *everything* about his children and wife on there. I've seen more pictures of the tots than I would if I was sitting there staring at them. Though I have found some humorous sites on twitter, mostly role playing ones."
Willow grinned. "I've seen a few of those too."
Giles shook his head. "I leave all such things to you, dear. I'm not up to that. Thankfully Fred made sure I could do the important things on my computer." He looked at Andrew since he was scowling. "What are you doing now?"
"Arguing with my nanites."
"What are those?" Giles asked.
"Small, microscopic computers," he said, looking up with a grin.
"I don't want to know. I'll probably never understand." He walked off. The others left to hold a watcher meeting about how to protect the younger girls.
Xander looked at the slayers. "Go over defensive stuff with the rest of the girls. They go nowhere without a chaperone until this is done with."
"How will we know?" Faith asked.
"You'll see three agencies in rubble with rats fleeing the wrecks."
"Oh, okay. That's pretty definitive." The slayers walked off to go over ideas on how to protect the girls. Xander looked at Willow, who went with them. He looked at Andrew, who smirked back.
Spike shook his head. "Barmy. The whole lot of you are barmy."
"No one else does the crazy stuff we do," Xander quipped then grinned.
"Xander! Why is there a report that you took out a rebel camp on the news!" Willow yelled.
"Where?" he called back.
"There was more than one!" she shrieked.
He walked out to look at her. "It could be false, Willow." He looked at the news report she had pulled up online. "Huh. Yeah. They had a battle just a few miles away and we had no weapons. They had weapons and idiots who decided they'd rather die than fight the demons. So we got some knockout gas from the local military and got the weapons we needed. They carted the group of idiots to the battle and laughed when they ran off because that proved they weren't that manly." He walked off.
"You can't do that!" she shrieked. "It's wrong! And it's evil! And you're not trained for that!"
"The military guys suggested it. That means it's not wrong or evil since they were going to do it first if they could figure out how. As for not trained? Yeah, I learned on the job, Wills." He grinned. "The agents heard about that one. It was in a report. Didn't get to that one first to edit it?"
"Your grammar is bad!" she defended.
"Yay, Sunnydale English classes," he said sarcastically.
She huffed. "You still can't do that."
"Why not? That's how we take down nests," Buffy said. The others nodded to back her up. "Usually with a holy water grenade instead." Xander grinned and nodded. "So we all learned it at the same time, Willow. Can you quit screeching before the neighbors hear you? They already give us really weird looks."
Willow huffed. "We need to make sure he's not giving us a bad reputation. Like the slutty two we had to talk to about their reputation."
Faith looked at her. "I didn't talk to anyone about that stuff. If they wanna get down and less stressed, go for it," Faith said.
Buffy nodded. "I told them to keep it more quiet. Their funsies are their business, not ours." Willow scowled. "It's not. The same as it's not anyone's business who I sleep with or who you sleep with."
"I don't get a reputation as a bad, naughty girl," Willow said.
"It's not our fault," Faith said. "The rest of us enjoy the touching and stuff to wear out our stress. Beyond that, it's a miserable life to be alone forever and ever."
"I'm not going to be alone forever," Willow pouted.
"You need to get out there, go meet people," Buffy said. "After this one, go meet nice people. Please? We worry about you." Willow nodded, sighing at the end. They hugged and got back to the plans on how to protect the girls. That way she and Willow could get back to nagging Xander about his problems.
***
Xander stopped the two agents coming toward the gate by blocking the way. "No, sorry. No visitors today."
"We need to talk to the slayer Faith, Mr. Harris."
"Unfortunately we had a threat and we're not letting anyone not one of us into the house." He stared at them. "Why did you need to speak to Faith? I can get her out here."
"It really should be discussed in private." Xander stared at them. "She took out something last night that looked a bit unusual for your crew."
Xander nodded. "Spike went with them last night too. He said there was a species he hadn't seen before. Faith?" She came to the doorway. He pointed at the agents. "Question about the patrol last night?"
"Yeah. Bit weird." She strolled out. "What's up?"
"There was a species no one recognized?"
"Including us but it was clearly harmful since it tried to eat the trainee we had with us." She leaned on the gate next to Xander. "Even Spike didn't recognize it and he's got over a century playing kitten poker."
"Pictures?" Xander asked.
"The watchers have them. They said it's not a regional one that they've seen described in reports but they think it's described way back when things were all in Latin. They're going over there to see what they are."
"Let me know if they figure that out so I can teach the girls." She nodded. They looked at the agents again. "Why did they send agents to ask that instead of the local cops?"
"We like to make sure of those things ourselves," the other agent said. He looked at Faith. "Anything else that's unusual and sticks out about it?"
"Not really."
"Thank you, Miss Lehane. Have a better patrol tonight." He looked at Xander. "We're not the scary ones."
Xander smirked a tiny bit, leaning on the gate. "I'm a seer. I've already seen the next few battles." One of the agents winced. "So yeah, we're paranoid." He grinned. "Have a happy night, guys."
"You as well, Harris," the lead agent said, going back to the office. He looked at his partner. "How bad do you think it'll be?" His partner shrugged. "We'll keep an eye on the house. Just in case." He sent up a note to his boss that the slayer house had gotten a new threat and that it was a bad enough one to make the Council people paranoid. They didn't need paranoid warriors.
***
Three days after the London apocalypse battle, one of the slayers knocked on a door at an apartment. "Miss Lewis, is it possible to talk to Lord Thor for a few moments?"
"Probably. He's awake and on the roof."
"Thank you."
"Reporter?" Darcy asked.
"Slayer actually." She smiled. "Majoring in biology. I'd like to be a nurse but I hate the sight of blood."
"I can fully understand how that works." She led her up there. "Thor?" He looked over from staring across the city. "This is one of the slayers. She wanted to talk to you." Darcy went back to her job of helping Jane.
"Lord Thor, may I have a few moments of your time?" He nodded. She walked closer. "Do you know of slayers, Lord Thor?"
"No. I've heard very little."
She nodded. "We're all mystically chosen to handle demon battles. A lot of vampires and other things. We don't touch the peaceful ones now. We're not supposed to and most of the girls agreed that's a really good idea. But we've got a seer and he's seen a problem coming."
"A seer warned us about that one as well so my mother survived," he said.
She grinned. "Did he have an eyepatch?" Thor nodded slowly. "That's Xander. He's our main training guy and normal guy backup and all sorts of things the girls need but a few don't appreciate." She hugged the folder she pulled out to her chest. "The problem is that Xander's seen something huger going on behind a few other problems. Including with SHIELD and therefore your teammates in New York." He nodded slowly. She held out the folder. "He wanted you to have that. It's a copy of the visions and a list of displaced warriors down here that he was hoping you could talk into helping the slayers because we're pretty darn sure they're coming for us too and we're busy fighting the end of the world.
"Our powers won't let us hurt humans," she said at his look. "It breaks the slayer spirit that imbues us. The only one who has in recent memory went evil for a while afterward. We've got to rely on witches with an addiction and things instead and it's making a lot of us nervous. Even though Xander's moved us out of harm's way, or as much as he can, but we need people who can help us protect ourselves. There's twenty-five slayer houses now and only one Xander."
"That is a small problem to get around," he agreed, reading over the visions. He grimaced. "That is not good?"
"The octopus guys as he put it? No. Xander saw three government agencies in rubble. Including the one that you worked with. He said they're infested but working on finding the infection."
Thor frowned. "That is very bad then. Do others know?"
"Yes." She grinned. "Xander got news to a few people he trusts within government service. Including one of your teammates." He nodded, going back to reading. He growled. She stepped back. "What?"
"These warriors down here were banished?"
"We have no idea. Though Xander said the ones with the red stars are assholes that he really wanted to beat the hair off of." She shrugged. "He was in Africa and apparently ran into a few. We have no idea. No one will tell us what went on down there so we can't complain that our normal guy did spectacular things that'd worry us to death. We know he took out a rebel group and a few hell goddesses." She shrugged. "He doesn't tell us so we don't nag."
"That's a bit childish."
She shook her head. "You'd have to meet our senior slayer and our head witch, Lord Thor. They're the ones that decided Xander was normal, which was apparently a bad thing. They nearly drove him off. That's actually why he went back to Africa at one point, so they couldn't contact him as easily. It'd be like if your sisters made fun of you and rode your cape tail about being just a guy who jumped in and nothing special. That you had no skills and no uses in battles, even though you had proved them wrong many times."
"Some women were taught that bad habit," he said. "I'm glad Jane doesn't have it and Darcy only nags about things that are life affirming, like bathing." He frowned, going back over the file. He looked at her. "What, exactly, is a slayer?"
She pulled out her phone and got into the website. "This was set up for the very minis to go over. Things changed about four years ago. Before then it was one slayer at a time, then she fought, she died, another was imbued. Now, thanks to an apocalypse, we're almost all imbued and called." He grimaced again. "We had no choice. A higher being of some sort or another called the Powers That Be picked who we would be before we were born. To them, we're chess pieces on their bids for power yet balance. We have no clue about them and we hate them like hell."
Thor nodded. "I would as well. When was this first one created?"
"Back during the demon/human wars."
He winced. "That is long ago. It has not been undone?"
"No. Humanity needed someone to save it." She shrugged. "All I know is that because Willow had to wake seven up to get the First Evil, we all got woken up. The slayer spirit in the scythe couldn't do just the ones there to fight her and it helped make sure the rest of us survived. Now, we're allowed to be normal girls, have normal lives, date, all that. A lot of us are in college, including me. Before...the old Council wouldn't have allowed it."
"This is foul," Thor warned.
She stared at him. "I can no more change my calling that was put on me before my birth than you can fully change your hair color, Lord Thor. We can pretend but it's not who we truly are. The same as we're warriors who take out those hurt people. We were hoping we could get some help guarding our backsides but if not, that's fine." She took the folder back. "I understand. A lot of people hate us for having been born. Because apparently they think we can change it."
"I know you cannot, but you can choose not to be warriors."
She snorted. "Yeah, and I'm so sure you can sit there and watch people die when you could do something about it?"
He shook his head. "I could not."
"Neither can I. I had that choice and I chose to patrol while I'm in college so people don't die as often of being eaten by bad things. Now, your type of problem is going to attack us too. We're just hoping they don't team up with some of the higher demons."
He shook his head. "That kind would not."
"That kind called your cosmic cube somehow," she shot back.
He sighed. "Point." He frowned. "The ones that were banished would not listen to me."
"Could you ask them?"
"It would look bad on my position, child."
"I'm not a child, Lord Thor. Children don't go into apocalypse battles and I've been in four of them in the last three years." He stepped back, wincing some. She stared at him. "Is there someone we could ask who could?"
"There may be some who are down here of their free will, as I am. But my father would not allow me to talk to the banished ones."
She nodded. "I understand. That's all politics and stuff. It makes everyone do stupid things when they get involved in politics." He scowled at her. She stared back. "By the way, we're still guarding Jane and Darcy because the demons might want them to help them build portals." She gave him a pointed look. "Like that Ian guy? His last girlfriend is one and we think he's talking to her about what Jane's doing and that may be why he's working with Jane. Not that we think she realizes that but we're pretty sure he's helping some portal makers, which could cause problems." She shrugged. "Just be a bit more careful and if you need us, call. Darcy has our number. Thank you for your time." She walked off. That sucked but maybe he'd unstarch his hair long enough to come help them later, when things started to go bad.
Thor sighed and went downstairs, going to Darcy. "What do you know of them?"
"A lot." She looked up at him. "When they came into notice with the invasion in LA I did a lot of research into them. One of them was my penpal. She died in the next battle." Thor stared at her. "They're as much warriors as your are, Thor, they're just ordained by some cosmic power broker who has *ideas*. I feel sorry for the slayers, and all the people in the Council. There's literally about three hundred people saving all our asses from the evils that are coming from here and other realms.
"They're all exhausted, they've all got battle burn out, and they're doing the best they can to make sure the young ones get as normal of a life as they can until they're old enough to protect themselves and make the choice of becoming a full slayer or not." She shrugged, grimacing up at him. "They have zero choice in the matter beyond being one at home and protecting those around them, while being paranoid because the things that they fight would see them as ideal weak targets to take out, or going on patrol to possibly die that way instead."
"I have not heard a thing of them."
She nodded, pulling up a site. "This is on the slayers. It's not the formal site that they use for outsiders. This is their own site for the kids to learn as they grow up. Unless they know you're over thirteen you don't get anything but 'this is how you defend yourself if one shows up'. After that, you get information on how to handle one that's trying to attack you if you must." He settled in to read the information wiki. She noticed him tracking Ian and nudged his thigh with her knee. She shook her head. "We heard." He nodded once, going back to reading. Jane looked over. "One of the slayers had that 'bad shit's about to happen' look."
"Their seer saw people taking over multiple groups," Thor told Jane, looking at her. "Including trying the team and others." She nodded with a sigh. "Including taking down whole agencies."
"Sucks to be SHIELD," Darcy quipped. Thor scowled at her. She stared back. "They did it to themselves and they're thugs for the most part. They could fix it, they're not fixing it. They did it to themselves and we've got to suffer for them not acting. You would've gotten the bad ones out."
"I would have," he agreed. "I'm sure they're trying."
She nodded. "Me too. I'm also sure those same sorts would go after the slayers. They probably don't like their duty any more than you and I do. Which means there's a bunch of little kids in danger. I'm hoping Xander manages to pull a hat out of the rabbit this time."
"Children?"
She patted him on the hand. "When the mass calling went out, Rosenburg had to get seven slayers to stop the First Evil. From what they've released about that incident, it took seven to sew her back into her seal." He nodded slowly. "There were about twenty that made it to Sunnydale past the death squads the First Evil sent out to kill them. Willow tried to active just those ones. The slayer spirit couldn't do that. So all the slayers that were born at that time, they got activated." He hissed and shuddered.
"Xander's job is to travel to the really young ones to make sure they're learning what they need to know to defend themselves without it robbing their childhoods. He did that in Africa for about five years now. The old Council, the one the First Evil blew up, which is just up the road a bit, they used to take the kids in to raise them as they wanted as little soldiers without emotions or needs. Now they're girls who need to know self defense and sword work. The older ones patrol. The younger ones are girls and expected to go to school, be little girls, and slowly grow into their future duties. The head people used to be the hunting team out in Sunnydale.
"From what people said, that was a new approach. It went from one slayer and her watcher to a slayer that got friends who helped. She's been a slayer since she was fifteen. Most of them made it maybe two years if they were good fighters and nothing too huge happened. She's nearly thirty." Thor groaned. She smiled. "I'm really thankful they're around but I hate the life they're going to have to live, and if they need me to help them I'm there with whatever I can do."
Ian shook his head. "The girls locally are bitches."
"Yup. This is their punishment house," Darcy said with a grin. "Because the local community is pretty peaceful and doesn't need a whole lot of teamwork or negotiating. That's why one casually *forgot* to warn people that she had gotten the vision until Xander nagged her and another in the house warned the normals." She looked at Thor. "They're just as much of warriors as you are but it's a bad, dirty little war that'll never fully end. And Willow has a magic addiction."
"We have not heard of such."
"It was supposed to be secret," Jane said. "They hid it until the LA invasion." Darcy nodded. "We saw that and then wondered why SHIELD wasn't there to help."
"So did Congress because they asked all the agency directors why they weren't there. Xander was in Africa for that one. Buffy didn't recall him."
Thor considered things. "Why would the sort that would want to take down a government agency go after them?"
"Because people could hide behind them, Thor. They'd try to protect people. These new ones that we're hearing rumors of, they're not going to like that. They might even work against the new wannabe douches in charge. We don't know a lot about them and what we do know is that they're kinda evil from an old line."
Ian frowned. "What?"
Darcy looked at him. "There's rumors that a group from World War II was restarted somehow."
"So Nazi's?" he asked.
"With supernatural and magical ambitions," Darcy added. Ian winced. "They're the ones that originally had the glowy cube that Loki used in New York." Thor stiffened. She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. That one." She shrugged. "If they're coming, Jane is going into hiding."
"Us, Darcy. Us," Jane ordered. "I can't let you be the bait to give me time to get away." She stared at her. "They'd probably try to kill you and I'd hate that."
Darcy nodded. "In the scheme of things, you're more important and we'll talk about that when they bust in the door to kill us."
"I would stop them," Thor said.
"Big guy, they wouldn't come when you're here," she said. "They'd probably start a huge distraction to get most everyone who could fight to go fight it." Thor nodded that was true. "At which point in time, Jane and I are going into hiding." She grinned. "Okay?"
"That is a wise solution," he agreed. "I would not want any child to be harmed by that sort."
"Neither do they. That's why they asked," Darcy quipped. She turned back to her work. "I'm guessing they found a few warriors from your people down here?"
"Banished ones. Not worthy to be near those sort."
She stared at him. "Worthy isn't the issue, Thor. Able to protect the slayers is. If it was your friends, would it matter if they were banished?"
He shook his head. "It would not. Let me contact them. My father would scowl but it is needed." He got up to go upstairs again so he could call out to Heimdall to find them for him. That had put it into better terms for him. If it were his sister or even Sif, he would take any help they needed to protect themselves or their future children.
***
Xander looked up from his guarding the gateway when a reporter stomped up with a camera in tow. "We're not giving interviews, you know that, and no one's allowed in thanks to a threat."
"There's stories going around that you have *visions*," she sneered, letting her cameraman get him in frame.
He nodded. "They suck too. Who put that information out into the open? Because that just made me a huger target for taking out." He stood up.
"Prove it."
"It's not like I can call them up on command. I'm not the higher powers over the slayers that send them."
"You can't prove you ever had one?" she sneered, looking pleased.
"No, I can. I keep a journal. We warn anyone we need to warn in advance, even if they don't want to listen. SHIELD's brilliant at that. We had the vision that showed their last one." She sneered. "Buffy, can I have my journal?" he called. "There's a reporter here who hates visions."
She walked out with one. "The one before LA. We didn't listen either. We were stupid." She held it up. "Dated three months before it."
Xander nodded. "I hate seeing battles. I'd love visions of happy things instead of apocalypse battles."
The reporter stared at him. "Anything can be post dated."
Xander took his journal from Buffy, frowning but holding one up. "Predated London's by a few months." He switched pages. "The one SHIELD's presently fighting against." The reporter stared, looking horrified. He checked then shrugged. "I'd really love to have visions that had nothing to do with battles. Happy things would be *wonderful* to see instead." He closed the journal. "The loss of my eye opened the latent gift. Thank the First Evil's minion Caleb for that. He did it."
He shrugged. "Anything else, Miss Snide Whore?" Buffy walked off grinning. "Because seen your show. Nancy Grace is a better journalist and she's a media whore with racial problems about which stories she decides are important. She really should cover some of the other thousands of kids that go missing and are killed instead of the few that're cute, white, and usually female to get an emotional bite." The reporter backed off. Xander stared at her. "Is there anything else?"
"When's the next battle?" the cameraman asked.
"Ours? There's a few higher demons who're trying something right now but can't decide on a date. The next full apocalypse level battle instead of some higher demon trying to take down a city to own? June...we think the twenty-third. We've warned that area. Once again, they're ignoring it so they can complain later about it going on." He smiled slightly. "LA loves to do that and so will Chicago when this one hits them."
The reporter swallowed. "What about that thing with SHIELD?"
Xander shrugged. "We told them. We have an agent who knows to listen when things happen. If they didn't...." He walked off. "Please get off the gate before those ones I've foreseen use you as a cover to attack the girls."
"I...how often are you right?" she called after him.
He paused to stare at her. "I've had nineteen. Two were off-timed." She slumped. "And I've seen ones for the next three years as of last night. The ones who sent you are using you to try to draw out a problem by making me bait and I'm going to get them back for it. Want that story too? Watch for the rubble." He closed the house's door, taking his phone from Buffy's hand so he could call Hill and chew her a new one. Someone in her agency was a fucking moron and had just made him a huge target. He wasn't going to put up with that. That going to become an avatar of an ancient god was looking like a better idea at the moment.
Buffy and the four girls left in the house watched him ranting at someone on the phone, eating snacks while he put on the show of the moment. They didn't get drama like this usually, even with a houseful of girls.
***
Xander was humming the Jeopardy theme song as he worked on the bomb that had been on his car that morning. He finally stepped back and nodded. "Great. I get to find someone to deliver this up their ass." Someone cleared their throats. "I heard you come over. You could've jumped in."
"Our local bomb guy is out of town at a wedding," the officer said. Xander looked at him. "How good are you?"
"No comment." He looked at the bomb, then nodded. "Buffy, I need my phone," he bellowed. "Someone stole Stark tech to make a bomb to put on my car!"
"He's going to gut someone," she said, tossing it from a window. "The neighbors would probably like to still be sleeping, Xander."
He looked up. "If they're trying me I'm going to make sure *everyone* knows it. Fuck 'em." He called the main number for Stark Industries. "Hi, I just disarmed a piece of Stark International tech that was put together as a bomb on my car. Do you guys have an agent you'd like me to give this to? No, a local officer is but their bomb guy is apparently out of town at a wedding. Xander Harris. I'm at the main Council house in Cleveland." He smiled at the officer. "By the way, dude, visions suck but I still see apocalypse battles." He stared at him.
"Me?" he demanded. "Am I going to be possessed?"
"I saw you at one firing on the girls. You'd better hope you're possessed." The officer nodded, backing off. He smiled when someone came on. "Hi. Miss Potts. Yes, it is. Um... serial number... There's something that looks like a VIN number on a car." He read off that string of numbers. "No, nothing as a backup. I got it disarmed. I need to know who to hand it to that you'd trust to grab it. Especially since SHIELD had me outed as a seer yesterday." He looked at the bomb. "No, I disarmed it. Yeah, I can do some. I had to learn. I saw a few of them down there." He rubbed a hand through his hair.
"That'll be great. Are they someone I could trust?" He smiled. "That'll be great. I can do that." He stepped back. "Let me fire into the computer part." He fired off, making the computer burn. "There, the computer brain is down. Yeah, just parts and explosive materials now. Thank you, Miss Potts. No, I'm here all day thanks to them trying to use me as bait. In return, I'm letting everyone who's trying to screw me over be known. Thankfully you're nice people up there and I trust that group." He hung up, looking at the officer, who called that in. "We'll have a geek here soon. You can wait. Buffy can go make coffee."
"I'd rather not," he said. "Can you guard this? I'll have an officer on the street, Mr. Harris. You're a bit...creepy when you're in battle mode," he said, taking a few steps back.
Xander grinned. "I think that's the nicest compliment I've gotten in months, since someone called me an epic asshole of the ages." The officer nodded and headed off. Xander got a chair and some coffee to come out and watch the bomb in case it did something strange like change form and become a transformer. That would be cool but weird even for him.
When the agent SUV pulled up, Xander looked over. "I said to send someone I trust, not the double agent," he called. The agents stopped. "I have visions, people, including ones that had agents and officers firing on the girls." He stared at one. "Bark off, Sparky." He got back into the SUV. They had been told not to annoy these people. The lead agent walked over. "Name?"
"Coulson."
"Ah, the dead one." He sipped his coffee and pointed. "Does Stark actually know you're alive?" The agent stared at him. He stared back then took another sip of coffee with a small grin. "Your boss tried to use me as a bait and distraction. Pity. We don't play those games because it'll get the minis dead. Then I'd kill all of you. I'd be worse than HYDRA."
"Understood. Mr. Stark may know something."
"Uh-huh." He stared at him. "He is a double agent."
"To?"
"The same octopus loving freaks." He finished his coffee and stood up. "Make sure your boss, who looks like a bad copy of me, knows that I'm done playing. He's pissed me off. I'm done. And if this hurts one of the minis, he's gone too," he said quietly. "I consider him a lacking sacrifice but I know a few who'd take his blood and organs anyway to give the slayers a boon. And yes, I can do that."
"We can arrest you for that threat."
Xander grinned. "Sure, you do that. Then I call on poker debts to have your buildings invaded. I'm pretty sure some of the agents outside the bad ones have dirty enough souls to be tasty to some of them. The slayers and I are *out* of this battle. We wanted no part of it. That's why we warned you to fix your own shit. If we had wanted to play this game, I would've already helped fix it by going to a good reporter with information." Coulson grimaced but nodded. "Remember, we protect humanity too, and we're not the sort that can just hire new agents to take their places. Your boss or whoever did this is endangering humanity. We're done."
"I'll make sure he hears, Mr. Harris. Any other information? Like how you knew he was?"
"He's the direct protege of one who is. I mean, that supposed seer guy? The one you trained beside when you were about my age?" He stared at him. Coulson stiffened. Xander grinned. "Old friends coming back suddenly are hardly ever good for you. It's a slayer rule. For us they're usually bad guys. What about your people?"
"I ... Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I am. And I'm unhappy. Unhappy enough to become the evil the bad guys will have to fight. Especially if that vision about your boss trying to get Willow burned at the stake comes true." He smiled. "I'm not the nice fairy. I lost that for lent when they taught me what it was and since I decided that wasn't my thing I never picked it up again. Especially when it comes to my minis."
"You'd probably be safer back in Africa."
Xander laughed. "Yeah, I could lead those groups that hate me so much right to your base down there so they could have your people too. I'd have popcorn... we'd have a party...." He waved a hand, staring at him. "I may fall due to his plan, but I'll come back as an avatar. One they won't want to see either."
"Did you do something to make sure?"
"I'm owed it."
Coulson slumped, nodding. "A poker debt?"
"A life debt. I saved their asses."
"Understood." He looked at the bomb then at him. "I'll hand it to Stark personally."
"Thank you. Tell him I asked around, there's no more of his stuff locally as far as anyone knows."
"I will. Let me get this back to Stark." He pried the bomb off and walked it back to the SUV, getting in and driving off.
"What life debt was that, Xander?" Buffy demanded from the window.
He grinned up at her. "There's two of them that paid off their life debts by promising I'd be able to get justice on whoever had me killed." She shuddered. "I was a bit drunk when I asked but it was right after one of the battles I never told you about."
"Great," she muttered. "Can you not show the girls how to do that?"
"I never do. They can find their own ways."
She huffed. "I guess I'll have to accept that. So if it's a vamp you can come back to stake them?"
"Vampires can't turn me. One of the protections I took on after being possessed by a higher being." He grinned.
"Damn it." She pulled back in to call Giles.
Xander settled in his chair again, watching the gateway. Somewhere there was another one-eyed guy screaming 'fuck' as much as he was. It was sweet how balance worked that way.
***
Coulson steeled himself as he got onto the private elevator at Stark Industries in New York. This was going to get him beaten. He set the override on the elevator to take him to the lab floor. Best to get the screaming match out of the way and the weapon in safer hands. He walked off and right to the lab, putting the modified weapon in front of Stark. "He shot the computer."
"Pepper told me that." He stared at him. "Did they bring you back too?"
"Torture, brain wiping, memory implantation," he said blandly. "I was dead for a few days though. He should have told at least Natasha."
Stark looked at him. "I'm not getting between you two."
"She'd beat you too," he agreed, smiling slightly. "Harris is really pissed off that someone outed him as the seer at the Council. He thinks it was Fury."
"It was Fury. He was using him as bait."
"That's what Harris said and he also said he'd come back as an immortal avatar to get his revenge if they killed him or one of the minis."
Stark smirked. "From what his profile says, yup. It'll be a mess." He took his picture and sent it out to the group. "Have a happy life dodging the team."
"I have an urgent response team right now, Stark. And I need one looked at. Agent Grant Ward. Xander identified him as HYDRA."
"His name was on the list." He pulled that up to show him.
Coulson stared. "He said the one I trained with when I was about his age. I was younger."
"You probably looked older," Stark said dryly.
"Probably. I never did get carded at bars, even when I was a teenager." He nearly flinched when the lab's doors opened. He ducked the hit to his head, looking at the person standing there. "Natasha."
"We will be speaking," she warned.
"I didn't remember you or Clint until a few months later and he should have told at least you."
"He did not. I will pay him back for that later. You...we will talk after that."
He nodded. "Let us handle this HYDRA infestation first?"
"He may die then. Why wait for someone else to take that talk from me?"
He smiled at her. "Good point. Especially since he outed Harris as a seer. He's promised he's going to take your fun from you."
She tipped her head. "Xander can do that. I feel pity for that death. It will be...messy." She stared at the bomb then at Stark. "Yours?"
"Old. Remade. Different explosive." He looked at her. "Harris found it."
"On the hood of his car at the main Council house," Coulson said.
Natasha nodded. "He will kill everyone to keep those girls safe. I need to help him so the girls can be safer. Two warriors are better than one." She looked at Coulson. "We will speak once this infection is cleared up." She walked off, smiling when she heard Coulson scream in pain from the arrow now piercing his arm. "Clint was feeling merciful. Interesting. Must have had a nice date last night." She walked out the lab's door.
Stark wiped at the blood. "I didn't need biological samples, Legolas."
"Yay," Clint Barton called. He came down out of the ventilation system, staring at his former handler. "I need to get there before Natasha but I'll let her watch so I get more time for our talk."
"He should have told you," Coulson said, holding his arm.
Barton snorted. "Sure. He didn't though. You could've."
"I couldn't."
"Bullshit." He looked at the bomb then at Stark. "Let me go help guard the slayers. Someone's got to be a man to do it. Even if it's Natasha." He glared at Coulson. "We'll talk later. You rest, you look tired."
"Please don't kill Agent May for arranging this ruse," he warned quietly, staring at him. "She arranged it behind my back as well."
"Melinda and I will have our own talk, Coulson. She won't enjoy it but oh well." He walked off, calling her. "Melinda May," he said dryly. She groaned. "You're now going to help me guard the slayers since Fury gave out Harris as a staked sacrifice. No, I'll make sure you die before I kill Coulson for all this, but I'll be merciful if you don't die in battle. I'll be leaving in an hour." He hung up. Natasha joined him in the garage with their bags. "Agent May is going to be joining us, Nat."
She hummed. "She was one of his. That figured." They shared a look. Then they caught a cab to the airport.
Upstairs, Stark got a silent warning that Pepper was coming and got out of the way. He knew how evil Pepper could be. He didn't want to see this. It'd be worse than the time he had nearly married some wallet hunting bimbo while drunk in Vegas.
***
Buffy opened the door when she heard the gate alarm at it opening. She stared. "Neither of you were in Xander's visions."
"Good," Clint said with a smile. "I'd hate to be evil, Miss Summers. I'm Agent...."
"We know. The girls gushed over you guys after that battle." She stared at him. "Xander's napping so why are you guys here?"
"To help you and him protect all of you and us," Natasha said simply.
Buffy relaxed. "That's actually really nice to hear. Xander's in paranoid guy land again." She let them inside. "Xander, visitors."
He opened his good eye. "Neither one was in any of the visions except for Natasha helping the SHIELD rubble form by putting everything online." He closed his eye. "Can you guys watch the house and the security feed?" He pointed at that scene on the tv. "I've been listening but no one's doing more than tying up the hyper minis. As far as I can tell they're not mean, just assholes who hate squealing."
Clint looked. "You can tell them to stop it."
"I have."
Buffy sighed and called one. "Stop it. Untie my minis. Get over it. If the squealing is bothering you, you shouldn't have a hangover right now anyway! And if I have to come over there, I'm bringing Willow with me!" On the screen they untied all the minis and let them go. The older watchers went to hide somewhere else. Buffy hung up and smiled. "It's just a few of us to handle problems and Xander. They were really mean to try to make him asshole bait. He was already doing that for us." She walked off.
Xander pointed at the coffee table. "Lists?" They took it to look over and took over guarding the house for now. When the other agent got there, Xander got up to gather one of them to lock in a closet. "We don't need people like you here. Sorry, Ward, but your boss is a nazi cocksucker." He went back to his nap.
Natasha smiled slightly at Melinda May. "He was on the lists," she said quietly. May groaned, shaking her head. "He's there to control you and the heir apparent."
"Then I'm really happy I shot Coulson in the arm," Clint quipped with a grin for the other agent. May took a step back. "Let's guard the minis." Xander moaned and held his head. "Is that a vision?" he asked Natasha quietly. She nodded, going to help him. "That looks like it sucks."
"They do," Xander sighed, sitting up with help. He rubbed his eyes, looking at her. "That idea to put things online, you might want to start now so they find their own holes." She quirked an eyebrow up. "You put the *whole* database out there to expose the head guy that no one's arrested yet."
"Which head guy?"
"He looks like that movie star guy and he's got one of your trainers in cryo storage." He stared at her. "You can save him too." She stiffened, stepping back. Then she nodded once and moved to do that. He looked at Clint. "Warn the uptight one," he said quietly. "I had warned him that he'd see him again."
Clint winced and sent Steve a message. "Where?"
"DC. Some bank."
Natasha looked that up and sent her own message to Steve about where their former acquaintance was being stashed. That was evil. What she found within SHIELD's files was even worse. Then she did dump it right into a good network's computer system. She liked BBC news.
Xander laid back down, letting things go for now. This was outside his areas by a long shot. He handled emergencies and demons, not spies and nazis and assassins. Poor people, oh my.
***
In DC, a reporter was seeing new information waiting, including some flagged 'important' and 'classified'. He looked around then got into the files. He blinked. "Oh, my," he said quietly. "Bob!" he bellowed. "Huge problem with my computer system!" The others ignored it. There was plenty of story to go around but he'd get the primary scoop. Stories like this made careers. His editor came over to look, frowning at what he saw. "It was uploaded and there's more uploading right now." He looked at him.
"That's probably dangerous to have."
He highlighted one line. "Look at who is calling the shots." The editor shook his head. "We need to get this out there."
"We need to hand this to decent agents and cover the fallout," he corrected. "Do both but get it to someone to handle it first." He stepped back. "I'll have a few of the others helping you in case they think you're a target." He patted him on the back. "Good luck." He walked off.
The reporter pulled out his personal harddrive and downloaded what he wanted for now. He pointed at his friend. "Come watch this, copy and save down whatever you can. It's *dirty* and it's bad. We have whole agencies dirty." That one and another reporter from the foreign desk came to help with that. "Let me do as ordered and tell someone."
"Do a search for their name first," the foreign reporter said, looking at him. She smiled. "You can't be sure they're not involved and won't set off a panic."
"This is why they outed the guy at the Council as a seer," the other one said. "He has been warning them." They shared a look and he did find a good agent he could trust. He went to their agency in the most direct, safe way he could. He made it there and that agent was thankfully in. "Agent Sellers, I'm Ben Righ. I'm with BBC's local desk. We just got a data dump that states we've got dirty *agencies*." He held up his drive. "This is a horrible thing that I saw first."
"How bad?"
"The outing of that seer at the Council was a ruse to get bait." The agent winced. "And he warned them a few months back from what was recorded. This one is on an agency director being dirty. Embezzling, brain washing, mass murder...." The agent nodded, taking him to his desk to look at that information the reporter's own computer. Government computers might have tracking software.
"Oh, dear." He looked around then at him. "Is my boss involved?" he asked quietly.
He texted that back, getting a file sent to his email. He showed him. "Yes."
"I see one that's not." He got up and walked over there casually, nodding at that agent. "The reporter found something huge and I need help."
"You hate me."
"Yes I do but I can trust you this time. It's just that bad."
"Am I going to die?" he asked sarcastically.
"Quite possibly," the first agent, perfectly serious.
"Oh, okay." He came to look at it, frowning at what he saw. "Yeah, that's a good reason to come get me." He looked around then at his current partner. "How much more do you have?"
"The whole thing apparently. It's still downloading." He showed the file on visions. "They got warned a few months back by that same seer."
That got a nod once they had read it over. "Yeah, we're stopping that," the second agent said.
"Please. That's scary." Another file got sent to his email so he opened it after checking for viruses. Still had one but the information was even worse. They were laughing at them stopping the problem. The email said that then gave them something that they couldn't stop. He showed the agents.
The first agent nodded. "I doubt the source that time. But hey, we can find that." He looked at the other agent, who just nodded and went to grab his jacket. "Go be safe."
"A few of us are looking over it." He stood up, putting his computer back into his bag. "Let me sink this into a bank box." He left, putting the computer into his safety deposit box so anything in it wouldn't get near anyone else. When he got back there, the whole bureau was working on it and they had the virus as well. The other bureau's were getting shared with. Even if they killed all the reporters, this story wasn't going to die. A few were bloggers and were already putting that up online.
***
Buffy was watching the local news that night when a story came on, breaking into the weather, sending the lead reporters into a hair pulling hissy fit. "Um, Xander?" she called. "Oh, Xander!" He came in a minute later eating a sandwich. She took the sandwich and pointed at the tv.
He looked. "I knew they'd put a few locally. We're too big of a threat to their takeover plans." He looked at her. "Yeah, that's why I've been super paranoid." He walked off. "At least they found most of them. I'm betting they probably have a few who aren't on any open lists."
She shook her head, sighing as she finished the sandwich. The nice female agent walked in to watch. "Maybe he'll get some sleep now."
"Perhaps," Natasha said. "I wouldn't yet. There's bound to be a few not found."
"That's what he said."
Natasha smiled at her. "Those of us who live by our weapons tend to be paranoid the same way." She stood up. "Do you need to patrol tonight?"
"I probably should at least hit a few of the demon community places. Just to make sure they're staying calm and out of it."
"I'm sure a few of those in charge owe debts." She walked off. "They found the local ones who were on the lists."
Melinda nodded. "Is she going on patrol?"
"She said a few of the community's areas to make sure they're calm."
"We can go with her," Melinda said, putting the gun she was checking over back together and going to talk to Buffy. "I'll go with you to make sure you're safe."
Buffy smiled at her. "If they take me out, it just means I get to see my mom again. Being dead the last time wasn't so bad."
"How did you come back?"
"Willow. She pulled me out of heaven." She stood up. "Which started the First Evil." She shrugged. "I didn't ask." She walked off. "Let me get shoes."
"You can change. It's windy," Clint called.
"It's a good patrol outfit. I go out in this all the time. Don't turn into Xander about my clothes please."
Xander looked at him, shaking his head. "Wedge heels," he muttered. "Booty skirts. Skimpy, thin, braless shirts." Clint shook his head. "And she's very kick-oriented because she's a former cheerleader. The vampires *love* having their asses kicked some days." He finished their sandwiches and handed them over. "Let me go check the gate, just in case. The other three girls are due back in about an hour." They nodded so he went to sit guardian on the gate. He nodded when Buffy and May came out, mentally shaking his head at her outfit. "Buffster, you need to pull that down."
"It's fine, Xander."
"It's tucked into your panties."
She squeaked and pulled the skirt down. "Thanks."
"Welcome. Don't want the vamps to rip them off you prematurely this time." She scowled at him but he grinned back. "You know they try." She huffed and walked off.
"I can drive," Melinda offered when Buffy headed for a bus stop.
"That'd be cool. I can't. I'd hit the demons instead." They went back and got the car she had rented, going to the local community places. Buffy had to trace them on the bus route but Agent May didn't say anything about that. She walked in. The demons stared at her. She shrugged. "We don't know either. They outed Xander being a seer and stuff too." They groaned. "Xander had a vision that one of them wants to burn Willow at the stake to get people to hate witches again."
"The Knight said that's his fun," one of the demons shot back.
"Yup," Buffy agreed. "Can we keep it calm? They just outed the dirty agents to those same octopus guys."
"Octopus guys?" the bartender asked.
"The local pretty weather girl's station," Buffy said. "Their symbol is an octopus."
"Hydra were snake-beings," someone sighed. "How stupid."
"We think they merged the group. The name of one, the symbol of the other," Melinda said. "Like the pharaohs did when they took over both parts of Egypt."
Buffy frowned at her. "Wow, way brainy."
Melinda smiled. "Agents have to know many things."
"Glad I don't have to. I'm not booky or the brainy smurf of the Council. That's Andrew." The demons laughed but a few nodded. "What is his current evil plan to help save the girls?"
"You don't want to know about him and nanites, Slayer," the bartender sighed. He glanced at her then went back to watching the news. "That's really bad and probably why Harris is paranoid." Buffy nodded. "Great!" The demons groaned. "We'll keep it quiet and down for now, Slayer. We know you guys are protecting the tiny ones and not many of us want to piss you off when you're that stressed out. They'll wait until you get a rest day."
"Yeah, they usually do," she sighed. "Which means we have to take out the stress of needing a vacation on a beach with cute bikinis out on their corpses." She smiled. "Thanks for the calmness, guys." She walked out, Melinda following her. They went to the other two bars she got information in. The community leaders were meeting at one so she sat at the table and patted one on the arm. "They outed Xander as a seer to make him bait."
The local demon council stared at her. "We noticed him being paranoid."
"Yes, he is. A lot. We told them months ago. One of us even asked that Thor guy to see if he could ask some warriors to help protect the minis. Xander thinks some of his people are down here."
"Some banished ones and they would if asked," the head of the demon council agreed. "They have in the past when a slayer asked them for assistance." Buffy smiled. "We will get word to the ones near them to see if they would, slayer. Is there other news?"
"It's not just here."
"We saw," one said.
"No, as in Xander saw three agencies in rubble," Buffy said. "One of them being stopped from taking out thousands of people." They groaned. "SHIELD is apparently the most infected but he also saw a president involved."
One of the higher demons in the room looked over. "We will all be talking to those who owe us debts about their choices if they are among them," he assured her. "As two will be talking to your knight about the debts we owe him. That way you don't have to panic that he lost his soul."
"I think it broke somewhere in Africa. He didn't used to be that hard."
The demon nodded. "Yes, quite possibly. There were many battles you never heard about and neither did those agents who asked. Some who were infected."
Buffy nodded. "Can we ease it?"
"Combat changes one," Melinda said. "He's much more normal than I'd expect. I thought he was almost new to combat. He's very...happy in the middle of a situation."
Buffy nodded, looking up with her. "We all are because it's really dark at the end of the light's radius. It's easy to fall into the holes they have hidden in it. Too many of have nearly fallen in and a few have, but managed to build a ladder." She looked at the local demon council. "Anything I need to be aware of? This is my patrol for the night so I'm not somewhere that it's easy to jump me so I become a Buffy snack to humans."
They shook their heads. "We will step on the locals to make sure we are out of notice, Slayer," the head said. "It'd be easy for the humans to turn on us for being visible. We'd be just another irritating thing to take out and since they're already handling one...." He waved a flipper.
"I'd hope not. You guys are good. You're even better than the one in Sunnydale after the Mayor died." She stood up. "Let me know. Xander's paranoid again tonight." They nodded. "We just hope they got most of them."
"No, they didn't," the lead demon said with a smirk. "There's a whole other list. It will be delivered though."
"Anything on that old friend that Harris mentioned?" Melinda asked. "We know he's in cryo storage in a bank vault."
"He's in DC. It will be a huge, painful shock to a few people. The ones in DC are guarding him for right now to keep down the drama. They'll give him to the shiny one when that one wakes."
"Thank you." They left, going back to the house to report that. Natasha sent a message to Steve to ask the demons where he was.
***
The slayer house in London all flinched when someone pounded on the door. Kennedy went to answer it. "Yes, Officer?"
"We need to move you girls for your own safety," he said, stepping in. "With that trainwreck, they're going to try for you. We stopped a group coming this way."
She nodded. "We know. We're moving to our safety fall back later."
"They thought you were at the one across town, miss."
"Not that one." He nodded. She let him in to go to the living room to help them with the plans.
So when a group broke in, and the cop stood up to help capture them, they were all upset about it. Then someone busted in and kicked the pretend officers into gooey spots. One of the other girls stared at them. "Thank you, Warrior...."
"Kreth. I'm the grandfather of Sybil, ladies. Let us go somewhere safer."
"Thank you," Kennedy said.
He looked at her. "You can trust nearly no one, Slayer. Too many are dirty to that group for your safety. Thankfully, I brought one to prove my trust." He pointed at his granddaughter.
Sybil walked over one of the gooey spots, looking up at the bigger slayers. She was twelve. "Hi," she said with a wave and a grin. "Let's go somewhere safer. Granddad has a basement that's safe. You can even call Buffy and them."
One of the slayers smiled. "I asked Lord Thor to ask some of the warriors of Asgard stuck down here."
"He has but didn't know about me," Kreth said with a smile. "Lady Sif sent me a message. I adore that woman's boots and shield." Sybil hugged his arm. "Go warm up the car, dear." She ran to do that. "Let's go, ladies. You should have a bag packed?" They ran to get them, the house puppy and his stuff, and then the weapons. Kennedy took the longest because she didn't have a bag packed but the other girls came in to stuff her bags for her and drag her out. Kreth smiled at them. The other girls had sense. It was good to see.
***
Buffy looked at the agents. "What's a nanite and why is Andrew doing something with them? Will it help on patrol?"
"Nanites are tiny computers and they're used for many things," Melinda May said. She looked at Natasha.
"It won't help on patrol but it may help in this situation. I'll have to ask him about them," Natasha said.
"Andrew's a huge geek and formerly part of a trio of geeks that wanted to be Lex Luthor," Xander quipped. "One went psycho, the other one did a deal that made him the most interesting man in the world, and Andrew was working on his own ideas." He turned the page in his graphic novel. "And no, Buffy, they won't help on patrol." He grinned at her. "I'm pretty sure he was being helpful for this problem, not the usual ones." He went back to reading.
Clint nodded. "Wow. How did he do that?"
Xander shrugged. "Andrew is very strong in the power of Geek. His force is strong," Xander quipped. "Other geeks should bow down to him. Thankfully he wants to be a good guy now."
Natasha nodded. "I'll ask him when we run into him next time." She and Clint shared a look. He knew where he was so she could go visiting soon.
"If it's helpful, we don't care," Buffy decided. "It can't be worse than *someone* opening a pendant at the shop and summoning a demon who wanted to own him."
"Which actually wasn't me," Xander said dryly, smirking at her without looking. "I'm just a fantastic cover."
She stared at him. "Dawn did that?" she asked, sounding pissed off. He nodded once. "Why?"
"Shoplifting." He looked up at her. "You were so wrapped up in your coming back stuff time? All that?" She slumped, staring at him. "We had a *talk* after that." She huffed but nodded. "Aren't you glad she's not fourteen anymore?"
"Yes!"
"Andrew's trying to get her into engineering so she can be his protege. Every evil genius needs a protege that will some day do one better than them."
"Please don't tell the bad guys we fight that," Melinda complained. "They're bad enough as is."
"Most of ours have children or minions to take over," Natasha said.
"And sometimes ex-wives," Xander quipped with a grin. Natasha and Clint both stared at him. "One of my casual sex ex's has an ex-wife that took him out to take over. She said his alimony was late too many times so she went to the source so she could afford to send their spawn to a decent school before she sold him to a monk's convent."
Clint sighed, shaking his head. "I heard about that takeover. They say she's really evil to his minions."
"They all thought she'd be the slutty sort and she hates sex," Xander said. "She proved to them that she's not that sort of evil overlordess."
"Did she try to date you too?" Buffy quipped.
Xander looked at her. "Why would I date someone who hated sex? I have enough stamina after Anya that it takes at least two a night, Buffy, if not more. Someone who hated sex would drive me to evil." He grinned. "You want to talk about the triplets I dated in Guyana?"
"No!" She glared at him. "Can't you date normal things?"
"Should we start the conversation of yours versus mine?" he shot back. "At least all of mine were human."
"Anya...."
"Turned back to a human when she got fired."
"Point." She grimaced. "Mine are helpful."
"Until someone stakes them and yes, I will." He grinned. She glared. He went back to reading. "You should try to date agents. They're dangerous enough for you and human. A living guy has to be more creative since he doesn't have a rotting brain with a demon cooing in it."
She kicked him under the table. "Don't tell people that!"
"You started it," he said, rubbing the sore spot. "If you break my leg, you go find me a healing spell." She sighed but went back to her magazine. He grinned at Clint. "We started as a team when we were teenagers."
"It shows," he agreed.
"It's why I went to Africa for so long." He got back to reading until the oven dinged. Then he got up to pull out the casserole. "Off Andrew's recipe." He handed Buffy her own baking dish and let the rest of them split the bigger pan. "Thankfully the other slayers are safe somewhere else. Five of you would mean I'd have to build three of these for just you guys."
Buffy shrugged. "We do a lot and need a lot of energy, Xander. You know that."
He nodded. "I remember helping butcher a cow so my slayer could eat for two days."
"Only two days?" Clint asked.
Xander nodded. "I got two steaks and a tiny bit of jerky made for later needs. She ate the whole cow in two days." Natasha shook her head. "She's eight."
"I eat about six thousand calories a day and could really use at least another thousand most of the time," Buffy said. "We work it off. Our metabolism is really high."
"Steve does the same thing," Natasha said. "Probably for the same reason." Clint nodded, digging into his dinner.
"Who?" Buffy asked.
"Captain America," Xander said. "The guy with the tight kevlar pants that you drooled over."
"Oh, him. Hotass." She nodded and went back to eating. "We need more slayer pinups like that and you, Agent Barton." She grinned at him. "It's good when we have people to look up to. Guys get drooled on and women who can kick butt like we do are like saints."
"I am no saint," Natasha said. "But a good enough role model." Buffy grinned at her. "Clint is a fairly good one most of the time."
"Yeah, but he's a guy and guys are meant to be drooled on." Xander snorted. "Or to be our normal guy backup who sees sensible things that we like to ignore." Xander stared at her for a moment then shook his head. "You are."
"Don't. Start," he warned. Then he stuffed his mouth.
"Sorry." She dug in again. She looked at Clint. "Willow went looking for the girls and found those pictures for that spank magazine when you were nineteen. The girls were really happy." He moaned and choked a bit, shaking his head. Natasha patted him on the head. "The girls were really happy that he uses weapons we like and he's hot." She dug back in.
Xander looked at him. "Most of the girls are too vanilla to do more than look and drool. They mostly won't pinch." He shook his head and went back to his own dinner.
"Do you hold talks like this usually?" Melinda asked.
Xander looked up at her. "She pulled out company manners for you." He went back to eating. Buffy kicked him on the same sore spot so he kicked her back and he was wearing his combat boots. It made her scream and hold her leg. "I told you to stop it." He stared at her. "It didn't hurt you that badly."
"Ow, Xander!"
"You nearly broke mine," he shot back, staring at her. "You're fine."
"You're mean to me."
"Yeah. I remember when you had back zits you used to talk me into popping for you." She grimaced, shuddering. "I didn't even bruise you. Drama princess."
"Whatever." She rubbed the spot then pouted through the rest of dinner. "Sparring?" He pointed at Natasha. She smiled at her. "Sparring?"
"I could use the time to judge how you are trained. I've sparred with Xander and got cut twice."
Clint blinked at Xander. "You cut her?"
"I do best with weapons so I snuck my knuckle knife into it." He grinned. "It worked and made my next date very hot. It meant a good weekend off with sex in a real hotel that had running water and room service instead of in my tent."
Clint nodded, looking at Natasha. "He is not the best, but he is creative and suitable. I was not trying too hard but he could reasonably do as well as most level three agents with advanced training."
Clint nodded. "Better than half of SHIELD then. Good." He finished up and moved to do dishes for the poor guy. Buffy treated Xander like a houseboy half the time. Maybe there was someone for Xander to look up to so he could break that problem of hers.
***
In DC the next morning, demons were holding a peaceful protest that they were not behind all these problems. Most of the evil ones didn't owe part of their souls, most of them were against demons. The 'demons do not support nazis' protest was a lighthearted point of the day of things getting worse. The news outlets were going nuts about it but the ones that came to the house, Xander agreed with. Most of them probably hadn't made demonic soul deals. They were being jackasses to humanity on their own.
He added that he hoped that the demons were being left alone because they were being peaceful and pointing out that blaming everything on them was wrong. The reporter agreed that might be a good idea. Then Xander dropped the bombshell. "No, we know some of who made deals. It's fairly obvious thanks to some's tattoos. There's only so many ways to hide mystical markings, even if you've got full sleeves." He pointed at one on his forearm. "That one's a protection one."
The reporter looked then at him. "It glows."
"It's your sunglasses." He smiled at the cameraman, letting him see it.
"It glows red."
"You guys use the filter that catches vampires."
The reporter smiled at her cameraman. "We do. I forgot about that." She smiled at Xander. "How are you handling being outed as a seer?"
"I hate it. So far there's been no one who's shown up to decry me, kill me, or want me to pull one out of my ear. It's making me fairly paranoid though." He grinned. "I really would like you guys to forget that part. Before they decide I'm the early warning system before an apocalypse battle...." He nodded, urging her to get it.
"Oh!" She grimaced but nodded. "I forgot that those happen." He nodded. "And that would make you a huge target."
"Yes, it did. And the guy who did it I owe a few punches to. I should have someone enslave him as my bodyguard until we both die."
"That would suck," the reporter said.
"I doubt they'd get him," Clint called from the doorway. "Don't give anyone ideas please, Xander. We've got enough problems as is. Someone tried to kill him earlier."
Xander looked back. "Me first." He looked at the reporter again, smiling. "They showed up to help us protect the girls because we're in the way of the takeover plans. We'd be like a wall of 'get the hell out of my face' to them. Like we usually are to you guys." He walked off. "Have fun."
"Thank you, Mr. Harris. It was nice not to be threatened with a gun this time." She and her cameraman went back to the station to run that report. Xander had been nicely calm and pleasant to talk to today. Which meant he had expected them and they were being used to get information out, but they could agree with that this time.
Clint looked at him. "He'd hate that."
Xander grinned. "I can ask Andrew to make me some nanites."
"I'm sure you could." He let Xander into the house, smiling at his back. The guy had wacky ideas. Though Natasha said that they often worked well, and even Buffy had praised one of his wacky ideas.
***
An agent walked up to Xander's position a few days later. "They said they weren't going to come near the girls."
"And yet, HYDRA tried to take out the Council during World War II," Xander said dryly, staring at him. "I *so* believe that they'd leave people who were a wall to hide behind capable of dealing with things."
"They said they'd have taken in the girls so they could still fulfill their destinies, they'd just train them better."
Xander stood up, strolling over. "I'm fairly certain that won't ever work. It didn't work real well when the Council tried it and that was their whole purpose. Also, the slayers aren't supposed to be taking *human* lives. Your idiot in charge? Not exactly human." He stared then grinned. "Though I'm fairly certain I know why."
"Are you?" the agent shot back.
"Just been possessed."
"I heard about sea creatures."
"Detoxed when I went to see why the swim team was turning into people-nibbling creatures." He looked amused. "Though it's nice you guys got into the bloodwork Fury ran without my consent. That's another thing I get to pay him back for." He walked off. "You have fun with your delusions."
"We don't need you around the slayers," he said, pulling a gun. He shot at Xander but a demon showed up to eat him.
Xander looked back and shrugged. "Thanks, Herbert."
"We do not want to see what you would be like as an Avatar of Justice."
"I'd be a great avatar of kicking ass."
Herbert the demon nodded. "Which is what we fear, Knight. The warriors of Asgard that were not banished have gathered the girls to a safer location. Then they told their prince's girlfriend." Xander smiled. "He thought there were only banished."
"Some went on a quest of some sort and ended up down here. One my ex Anya cursed." He smiled. "I should go tell him that so he can petition the one who took over her job."
Herbert shook his head with a sigh. "You need rest, Knight. Your mind goes weird. Go inside, let the pretty agents handle this for you. That one with the bow is one that many of us can admire for his weapons skills."
Clint walked out, staring at him. "Really?"
The demon smiled and nodded. "It is not many who are brave enough to bring an ancient weapon like a bow to a fight that should take artillery. We like watching the Knight because he does much the same with the slayers, no matter how often they nag." He disappeared, looking more pleased.
Xander shrugged. "I have a battle axe I favor."
Clint nodded. "That's even weirder than a bow."
"Could be but very handy at times," Xander said.
"May can sit on the doorway. You go nap before more like that show up." Xander grinned but went to do that. Melinda walked around Clint to take Xander's watching seat.
Natasha patted Clint on the shoulder, smiling at him. "I found the shrine to us. Yours is very pretty. The girls put pretty pictures up of you. Mostly with your weapons. Mine sits with Lady Sif's and to a few other warrior goddesses."
"You are that great," he said.
She poked him gently on the bicep. "They appreciate you the same way. Just also carnally." She walked off to check on Xander and Buffy. Those two needed to sleep more so their minds straightened out. Though they were getting a good read on how the Council worked. She had decided they needed more people and since there were going to be some decent agents looking for work perhaps she'd talk some of them up to Buffy so they could help do some of Xander's job. She settled in to make a list so she could mark off any that died during this ...problem.
***
Steve Rogers walked up to the demon bar in DC, smiling at the bouncer. "Is the guy in charge in tonight? I was told he might be so I could ask him a question."
The bouncer squinted at him. "Your hair is too shiny. It glows." Steve ducked his head some. "He's not in yet. He's nocturnal and won't be awake for another two hours, and I heard some of his minions will be earning their final rest tonight for being annoying little toys. I can have him call you."
"Xander Harris said I should come talk to him here. Is there a better place to catch him?" He shifted some to let another demon with plastic hair into the bar. "He's protecting someone I'd love to see again."
The bouncer nodded. "That one I know of. He's with the healers. Usually ranting at the healers because he doesn't understand." He leaned inside. "The one with the shiny hair and the tight uniform that makes the slayers drool is here for his friend if he could be shown to him."
"He's on Cresida with those healers," someone called back. "Michael's going to be busy tonight and that one's not ready to see people anyway." He came out to stare at him. "What did you use in your hair?"
"I can't find the right kind of hair grease."
"Ah." He nodded. "Go look in the ethnic hair markets. They sell some there."
"Thank you, I can try that. Can I go see him?"
"He doesn't remember anything."
"He knew me for most of his life before I thought he died. Maybe I can help?"
"I'll have one of the younger vampires do you that favor."
"Thank you," Steve said. "All I want is him to be better."
"I think the Knight wanted that too. He was worried that one would be a problem for the slayers in the future for some reason."
"There were plans to take out the slayers," Steve told him. "Mostly to capture the girls so they could reprogram them into their control and use. They had some sort of deep hatred for Buffy, Willow, and Xander though."
"Many feel that way about the Red Witch," the demon said dryly. He looked behind Steve at the brunette walking up behind him. "They let you out without guardians?"
She snorted and flapped a hand at him. "Dawn hasn't had bodyguards in *years*. The local slayer's way too busy to play stepmommy to me like Buffy wants. That's why I get the better boyfriends and a life that doesn't come with worrying about my sister coming home dead some morning." She smiled at Steve. "Cresida?" The bartender nodded. "I'll take him down there. It's on my way home and most of them aren't going to come near me."
"They could. You're probably a target too, Miss," Steve said. "Your picture was one of the ones that the helicarrier plan had up."
She smiled. "My death will open *huge* portals. They don't want that so therefore they won't. It's why my sister freaks about sex stuff. She's worried I'll have an oops. Let's go. I can summon a cab with the best of them."
"I have my bike," Steve offered.
Dawn grinned. "Never ridden but sure. It's only about four miles."
He nodded. "Thank you both."
"You're welcome," the bartender said, watching them walk off. He looked at the bouncer. "Dawn has gotten much more dangerous, especially since she stole her sister's leather pants."
"She looks good in them. Better than her sister did." They admired the view as she got onto the back of the motorcycle and they sped off. "Maybe it will help."
"Maybe," the bartender agreed, going inside.
***
Dawn got off the bike. "Sorry I nearly tipped us over. Like I said, first time on one."
"Everyone has a first time for everything," he said with a smile. It was a bit forced but she seemed nice enough.
"Yeah, but they should all be that happy making as Faith calls it." She took his arm and led him inside. "Healer?" she called. The nurses looked out. "Let him try?"
"He is not ready yet. He knows no one."
"He may remember something about me," Steve said. "We knew each other for years. Please?"
"It may trigger him. We think he was made to kill you."
"I can fight him off if I have to. Please let me try?" She sighed but let them back there. Dawn waited in the hallway. Steve moved closer to the bed, pushing some of the hair off the pale forehead. "How did they do this to him?"
"They played with his mind with ice and chemicals." He looked up at her. "We unfroze him to heal him. They were already starting the process and had foul equipment there to destroy his mind. They took all that he was and made it no more."
"Is it in there somewhere?"
"We hope so. The ones who can read memories are pretty sure they can bring it back." They both looked toward the hall at the sound of crying but they heard Dawn move to help them. "She is a good girl but a bit wild yet."
"I have no idea about who she is outside of with the Council."
The healer smiled, crossing her arms so her hands went up her sleeves. "That is the Slayer Buffy's sister, Captain. She is here so she does not have to live with the worry and deal with the other slayers that don't like her for not being one of them. Some of the girls can be petty because they are young, untried, and stupid."
"We were all thirteen once," Dawn said as she walked in carrying a baby. "Someone attacked one of the nurseries." The healer winced. "They managed to save almost everyone but they think it's a 'come play with us' sort of message to draw the local slayers out." She patted the orange baby on the back. "You're a good egg, sweetheart. A very good egg." She frowned, looking around. "They're coming here." She handed Steve the baby and went to stand outside. Two SUV's showed up and she shook her head. "This is a healer's clinic, it is under Council protection," she said firmly.
"We don't care," one of the agents said.
"I do," she said and threw something from her bra onto them. She looked at the others who now had guns. "Pity for you too." They shrieked as they got taken. She smiled. "Hi, Spike's kids. How's your daddy?"
"He said to remind you your name's not Xander and you're not bait," one said, scowling at her. "Go back inside! Now! Let us handle them."
"They went after a nursery to draw people out."
"That makes them a great meal," another quipped with a smile. "Go inside, Dawn, before we have to fix that tragic mistake that is your hair." She huffed but went inside to help with the kids that had been evacuated to there. The vampires cleaned up the mess and didn't make new minions. You couldn't trust these to follow orders and they didn't have the time to train them right now.
Steve looked at Dawn. "They ate them?"
"Probably. Spike sent 'em." She shrugged. "They attacked little babies for being demons. Then again, one attacked a hospital earlier trying to get your attention." She stared at him. "They're not going to like the attention they get. They've pissed Spike off, and he's not the nicest Master Vampire and former Scourge of Europe." She grinned. "But he was a kick-ass babysitter when I was a young teen." She walked around him. "Hey, Doc, can I help with anything?" she called. "Potions? Asking Spike to find something? Telling Xander they tried this?"
"The Knight will hear, he usually does," the healer said.
The nurse smiled. "We could use some potions made, Dawn. Can you?" She nodded, going to do that while Steve went to help his friend. Bucky woke up and blinked at him. The nurse smiled at him over Steve's shoulder. "He asked to see you. Would you like something to drink? You really do have to stay hydrated." The man on the bed nodded so she got him some broth for Steve to feed him. They'd monitor it but let Steve angst. The angst eating demons in the billing department needed fed anyway.
***
Weird Old Lines.