Weird Old Lines. by Voracity2

Weird Old Lines.

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Xander woke up in a hospital, which was weird. He had been on a plane the last he knew. He checked, no handcuffs. He slowly sat up, cataloging the injuries. He was sore, like he had bruised ribs. His ankle still hurt. His legs felt numb. He looked under the sheet to make sure he still had legs, and yup they were there and bruised all to hell. He looked around the room, then nodded. This did not look good. The door to his room looked like a cell door, like it locked. He checked his IV, empty. He swung his legs around. Slight concussion feeling but it felt like it was a few weeks old.

He disconnected the IV with the tape that was sitting beside the bed and then looked around the room again. No obvious cameras. Not that it meant anything, they could be really tiny and hidden inside the vents or something. Xander knew he was paranoid but he had a good reason to be so paranoid. He stood up. No one made any noise outside his room. He snuck closer to the doorway, glancing out the small window. Ancient looking hospital. Door was locked from the other side. No nurses in sight. This was great. So did he get put into somewhere that was closed down?

No, it had to have *someone* there if he was there. Right? He checked the rest of the room, finding his clothes cleaned. His wallet was in there. No weapons. Nothing sharp or pointy to get the door open. His necklace was in there though. That had a hidden thing that was helpful. He started to wonder who had stuck him here. Was it a plot or was it a protection or was it a goof? He'd have to make sure after he got free. The door wasn't easily opened and he was too sore to kick it open, but the necklace had a tiny, lock sized, amount of plastic explosive and he had his watch. Because yeah, he was paranoid for a good reason.

He blew the door and waited but no one came running. He walked out, grabbing the only chart in the holder, his. This place was super creepy. Clearly closed down. A sign said it was the psych ward so that explained the locked door. The whole place was falling in. There wasn't any signs of anyone being here recently. Whoever had knocked him out and put him here had apparently let him wake up when his IV ran out. Sure, he could handle this. He checked the desks for anything useful.

Phone was disconnected. No power out there. Filing cabinets were empty of everything but his truck keys. He pocketed those and moved on to the emergency stairs. It hurt to walk but oh well. He wasn't staying there. Especially when he found the bomb in the stairwell. He disarmed it before moving on. Construction grade. Someone had a *plan*. "That's so sweet of them," he muttered as he snuck down the stairs. Down there he ran into a security guard. "Dude, why did I wake up in a room hooked to an IV?"

"Who're you, sir?" he asked, hand on his gun.

Xander pulled out his ID to check then held it up. "The last I knew I was on a flight to Africa."

"There's been someone on the news looking for you. You were here?"

"Four floors up, halfway toward the back, facing a parking lot," he said with a point up the stairs. "By the way, I disabled the bombs on the way down since I'm not moving too well. Where am I?"

"Virginia."

"Where in Virginia?"

"By Langley, about thirty miles from there. Are you an agent?"

"Council." The guard winced. "Which is probably why I found myself up there. Any idea who left me and my charming former IV? Or why I'm bruised, anything?"

"No, sir."

"Great. Okay. Train station?" The guard pointed. "Like the commuter rail? I know DC has one. I took it once."

"In the morning."

"That'll work. Thank you. If you find out who, can you let someone know?"

"I can do that, sir."

"Thanks. Was this a regular hospital?"

"Forty years ago."

"Ah. Cool. Thanks, man." He hobbled off, heading for the train station. It was a few miles but it'd take him most of the night with the way he ached. He did find a payphone and made a collect call. "It's me," he said into the 'say your name' message. It was picked up. "No damn clue," he admitted when she asked where he was. "Out by Langley. Taking the train in tomorrow. Fuck I ache but I was in a closed down hospital. Unconscious in a closed down hospital. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. Call off the manhunt and all that. No, the last I knew I was on my way back to Mia in Africa." He listened. "It's been six days?" he demanded. "Well, that explains why it feels like the concussion is about a week old," he quipped. "I'll see you tomorrow but I'll warn you before I show up, Dawn. Thanks." He hung up and found a bench to wait on. The guard there gave him a few looks. "I'm lost and taking the train home," he said with a slight grin. "Really sore too."

"Do you need an officer?"

"No, I've got a roomie who's an agent," he lied. "I'm going to talk to him first." The guard nodded. "Just waiting on the commuter rail, Officer."

He checked his watch. "Four hours."

"That's fine." The officer nodded and walked off but he passed by there often. Xander bought a ticket as soon as that office opened then got onto the first train into the city. He knew where it went. He had spent about a month in DC and could get around reasonably well. If not, there were cabs.

***

Xander looked up from sipping some coffee as the office he was in was opened by someone. "Morning, sir."

"Harris?" he demanded. "How did you get in here?"

"I'm more worried why I woke up in a closed down hospital up by Langley." He put down the ticket stub. "Woke up when the IV ran out apparently. The last I knew I was on a plane to Africa."

"The plane was refueling and you got attacked. The had a dirty agent on the team and he got the others," the guard said, coming in to look at the ticket stub. "I know there's a closed one up there due for destruction."

"I disarmed the bombs on the way down the stairs. So how did I get up there, bruised and with a healing concussion, on an IV that ran dry before I woke up, and feeling like crap?" he asked.

"No one has any clue," the guard said.

Xander nodded. "Great. The idiots who bruised me?"

"Arrested, heading for trial. They hated the Council," the guard said.

"There's days I don't like the Council," Xander said dryly, standing up. "The head guard put me in here."

"He didn't tell me that."

"Maybe he thought someone would hurt me more," he said dryly, staring at him. "I have not a clue. Dawn said I've been missing now for six days?"

"This afternoon makes seven," the president said.

Xander nodded once, looking at him then at the guards. "I thought I was paranoid, but now I guess I get to go to Moody levels of paranoid."

"I don't think that even that level of paranoid and magical tech would help," the guard said. "Are you okay?"

"Sore as hell." He pulled up a pants leg to show the bruising. "On both sides." He looked at him. "So who had me for the week and did they take blood samples?"

"Why would they?" the president asked.

Xander grimaced. "There's a few Council-only, senior Council-only, secrets. Including that I fell into a burial chamber one Thanksgiving and the ghosts in there gave me nice diseases I nearly died from," Xander told him. "Which Riley Finn would've seen since he was dating Buffy then."

The president considered it. "How many?"

"Two then. At least another one from my time in Africa. I've had a few unidentified fevers. Plus the mermaid taint from the swim team incident in high school."

"Oh, shit," the guard muttered. "Can we do a quick test?"

"As long as I'm not identified," Xander said. "At all. I'm going to go beyond Nick Fury level of paranoid."

"We can help with that. Does anyone know you made it out?" the guard asked.

"I called Dawn this morning," Xander admitted. "To let her know I'd see her later today. Dawn's got enough beings guarding her that if they show up there they'll warn her. And she knows I did that. They might know too if they figured out the codewords."

"Good. We can handle that. Let's draw some blood and have the local medics check you over, Mr. Harris. Just in case they implanted something."

"Then I'd get to kill," Xander said. " A lot." But he did follow him to the infirmary on-site. The medics grimaced at the bruising and all the damage but nothing was found to be implanted on any tracker or a full body scanner that could find implanted metal. Nothing plastic because it found that too. So he could relax about that. Though they did find a small incision on his scalp. Almost fully healed. That meant Xander got to have a brain scan. Nothing looked to be missing but it looked like someone had perhaps tried to insert a probe.

So yeah, Xander would get to kill someone a lot. The guards went over what had happened and let him make a statement, then got with Dawn's protection demon. He said someone was following Dawn around the campus but she was leading it to a trap. They got there in time to spare her killing it. Xander slammed it against a wall, cracking the wall. "You probably have some answers I want," he sneered. "And I want them now."

"Xander?" Dawn asked.

"Not now, Dawnie. We need to talk to this interesting being. Who is wearing my t-shirt." The demon swallowed hard. "Now, what the fuck?"

"The scientists wanted to see what made you special," he said, staring over his shoulder at Dawn.

"Don't look at me that way. I'm not saving you. I was going to drown you." She waved a hand in the air. "Not like I won't."

"My job," Xander quipped. He smirked at the demon. "Which scientists? Why was I in that hospital?"

"It's due to be taken down in two days."

"Hmm. Good. And?"

"I don't know!" he wailed. "I was to pick up this one for my master!"

Xander smirked. "Your master and I are gonna talk about his funny ideas. Who is he?"

"Heims."

"You're obviously still sore, sir," the guard said. "We can."

Dawn looked at him, shaking her head. "He's a slaver demon."

"We still can." He stared at her. "Why would someone like Loki have vowed to protect you?"

She smiled. "If I tell you I'll have to let Xander kill you. Sorry but senior Council only secret."

"Then what the Slayer Kennedy said was true?"

"Kennedy said what?" she asked. "Because we knew she was sneaking information she shouldn't have." The guard hissed in her ear. "Partially, and forget that because that makes you a huge ass target."

The guard nodded. "It's not made note of anywhere and only two of us heard that."

"Memory spell," Dawn said simply. "It'll save you and your family. Because there's ones who'd want to know." She stared at him. "There's a reason why I get to be paranoid and have so many watching over my shoulders."

"We found a scalp incision earlier," Xander said. The demon swallowed. "Call your master here, dude."

"He doesn't teleport. He does not do slaves now. He wanted the pretty one to be his to protect. He thinks the Slayer Buffy will thank him."

"Buffy will kill him," Dawn said. "If I don't. I'm not a slayer but I'm just as good as Xander is in my own way."

The demon swallowed hard. "He only wants to protect you."

"I don't need it and I don't want it," Dawn said. "Thank you anyway." She looked at the guard. "What do we do now?"

"I'm going to take out Kennedy," Xander said. "Pity."

Dawn smiled and hugged him, making him moan in pain. "Poor guy. We can go to my apartment and I'll baby you for a bit."

"Thanks, Dawnie. I could use it. I feel like I went against that wrecking ball demon again."

"Wasn't she on a video?"

"No, she was pretending to be him. He had more class and better man boobs." The guarding agent smiled as he followed them. Xander looked back at him.

"We're going to stop this before the news gets out. The tests came back and I'm getting a texted statement on them in about a half-hour, Mr. Harris."

Dawn looked at him then at Xander. "Bloodwork?"

"Yup. No one's sure if Riley spilled."

"I can call and ask," she offered.

"If it was him or his people, you can do a seance."

She smiled. "I can help with that. I love me a bonfire. The college could use a pep rally too."

He grinned and hugged her. "I love that I warped you so much."

The guard was thanking his higher power that he didn't have to see his kids that warped. Though he was happy that it meant those two could help save them all. The president was not going to be amused, especially when he heard who was waiting in Dawn's room. Dawn opened the door and paused in it. "Kennedy," she said. "What're you doing here? I thought you were in the London house."

"I am but someone over there wanted to talk to you so I agreed to set up a meeting." She checked her nails then stood up. "I'm fairly certain he wants to protect you from whoever got Xander."

"We heard who got Xander. It was more Initiative style freaks." Kennedy grimaced. "The Secret Service has him right now."

"That's going to suck when that group comes back again."

"I doubt that'll happen, ma'am," the guard said with a smile. "That's why we're the Secret Service."

Kennedy stared at him then at Dawn. "That's new. Since the battle at that warrior's house?"

"No. We had a demon show up to try to capture me for his slaver master."

"Oh." She grimaced. "The trouble you get into, Dawn."

"And I'm pretty sure that whoever wanted to meet me from London isn't much better."

"He's a mage."

"So?"

"He's not *that* grungy." She pulled her patrol dagger. "Let's go, dear."

Dawn snorted and shook her head. "You don't scare me, Kennedy. And you sure as hell don't scare Xander." He stepped up behind her with a grin and a wave. "See, all rescued."

"You're going to have to go for that," Kennedy said.

Xander shot her in the chest. "Really? Am I?" He looked at the guard. "Non-lethal rounds."

"I noticed. Thank you for that, sir." He called that in and got the area of the dorm evacuated. That helped because Kennedy's 'friends' showed up to take Dawn and take out Xander. Dawn tossed Xander her sword and got out of the way with the guard. The guard looked at her. "I can make sure you don't disappear."

"Please. This is going to get nasty if they know. And if they know, she's dying anyway. We promised her we'd be taking her out if she spilled whatever she read in Tara's journals." Willow appeared with a shriek and Dawn slugged her, knocking her into a wall. "Your bitchy ex girlfriend sold my ass to a mage in London, told him who and what I am, Willow."

"She did not!"

"She did," the agent said firmly. "She just admitted it before Mr. Harris knocked her out, which brought a lot of demons to capture Dawn and kill him."

"So?" she demanded. Dawn hit her again. "How dare you!" She threw magic at Dawn but Dawn absorbed it. "How!"

"Well, gee, dear. What did you expect me to do, cry?" Dawn asked simply then hit her again. "I take after Xander. I have protections on me that absorb spells." She hit her again. Willow went down crying this time. "I've had enough." She found her phone in her pocket and called in. "It's Dawn. I'm calling in an SOS with Rosenburgian levels and a slayer that went rogue to sell my cute ass to a mage in London. My dorm room has just turned into a battleground and Xander's presently taking them out," she said snidely. "I'd *better* get some help."

"I'm taking out my pissy mood on 'em," Xander said.

The voice on the phone said something so Dawn hung up and pulled off a charm from her bracelet to break. Andrew heard and scanned her location plus what had just happened when he saw the fight. Up in Cleveland, a watcher was suddenly finding himself bound to a wall and being eaten by little nibbling robots as Andrew got people moving. "Ladies!" Andrew called into the gym. Everyone stopped. "Dawn called in an SOS of Rosenburg. Kennedy sold Dawn to a mage in London and demons were showing up to collect. Dawn's knocked out Willow, Kennedy's knocked out but not dying yet, and Xander's sore as shit but fighting three demons with a sword in a dorm room."

"Hell," Buffy said.

"Let me," Faith ordered. "If it's about to get nasty, you can't, B." She pointed at a few girls. "C'mon." They got sent by the witches that were local. "Move!" Faith ordered. The students got out of the way and a few hissed. Dawn pointed. The witch that came with them bound Willow while Dawn told her what had happened. Faith leaned into the dorm room. "X, let us. I've got me and three others." He threw a demon at her so she let the younger girls handle it while she helped him with the other two. "You good?"

"Sore as hell," he said. "And really, really angry."

"Cool. We like that when it's necessary." He shot her a grin and punched the new demon that showed up. Faith took it out and they moved the fight to the hallway, a lot more room there to fight the nasties. Dawn potioned a few into goo and the agent shot a few that could be shot because Xander was reaching for his gun anyway. By the time the higher demon and mage showed up, Dawn had had enough. Xander was in the pissy mood of the universe. The slayers were all displeased on an epic PMS level. The mage got taken by the agent. The demon got a potion from Dawn and then Faith and Xander took it on to kill it. It barely got to scream before it died. Faith looked at the mess then at Dawn. "You good?"

"She *sold* my ass to that skanky mage!" she shouted with a point. "We warned her that her snooping was going to get her dead because she broke into a locked safe and read Tara's journals! We need to be missing a slayer. Now!"

"I love that she's on my level of paranoid," Xander said with a smile for her. She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "I feel the same way. Especially since I woke up in a closed hospital, they found new bruises and incisions on me, and there's no telling what sort of stuff they took from me."

Faith stared at him. "They did what?" she asked quietly and coldly. He nodded. "That's what happened?" she asked the agent, who nodded. "They dead?"

"When I find their asses," Xander quipped. The agent's phone rang. "Is that them?"

"Yes, sir." He let him see. "Three are listed as useable," he said quietly.

Xander nodded. "Then I pity Nick Fury if they do since he's the one that told them I was a seer."

The agent winced. "Damn it."

"Yeah." They shared a look then he looked at Faith. "Dawnie, any classes today?"

"I've got to pack up stuff to protect it," she said, pushing back her hair.

"Miss Summers, it's possible we can help with that," the agent said. "But we wanted to know *why*."

"I have magic I can't and won't use," she said.

"All that for this?"

"I told you."

"I have no idea what that means." Xander stepped up to hiss in his ear, making him wince. "I thought it was something like an avatar," he muttered.

"Nope. But it explains Glory." He stepped back, staring at him. "That means you can be a target."

"Yes but I can also get her protected." He looked at her. "You're getting protected."

"That's why I called down the vow of protection when the HYDRA idiots started," she quipped.

"Good! Even if you did have to depend on Loki!" She smiled. He wiped his face off. "All right. Let's get you packed up and arrange for a better, safer dorm room." He called that in. "Sir, I'm at American Uni, I need you here. I need a secondary guard for one Dawn Summers. We just had a demon battle in her room as a slayer tried to sell her. Yes, it's that bad and important, sir."

"Some things are senior Council only," Xander quipped. "Like what we saw earlier."

"Yes, sir, that was and he's right. Get with Agent Jenkins at the White House, sir. He has that information." He hung up and got Dawn into the room to help her pick up and pack things. The dorm monitor was stomping up the hallway and Xander was helping the slayers take care of the remains.

One of the slayers pushed him onto a bench to do it for him. "You're obviously limping. Sit down and be a guy, Xander."

"I'm just sore, Bethie."

She shrugged. "Yay? I'm super strong and I can clean up your mess too." She finished hauling them out and Faith lit them on fire once the other slayer had added the clean up towels they had used. The ladies watched it burn for a minute then walked back over to stare at Xander. "What happened?"

"No clue," Xander admitted, looking up at them. "Woke up in an abandoned hospital that's about to be torn down. Woke up bruised, they found healing incisions and a healing concussion." Faith winced. "Absolutely no clue."

The agent walking their way cleared his throat. "We believe that you took out four agents who were trying to capture you, Mr. Harris."

"I don't remember anything from when I took a nap on the plane after we left Greenland, to when I woke up before dawn today."

The agent nodded. "That's reasonable and we expected that from the statement."

"Was I growling, purring, or hissing?" Xander asked him.

"No. Why would you?"

Xander smiled. "I got possessed by an alpha hyena in tenth grade."

"Oh. Interesting. Not that we're aware of. It seems your recent training in Africa has increased your combat skills enough that you left a few there on the ground but not dead." Xander nodded once. "Which is how we knew what happened."

"Who are they affiliated with? Finn and his group?"

"NID. The same ones that wanted the slayers and got turned down by the president. He's heard by the way. We briefed him about what we found and about what we heard was going on here."

"Kennedy happened here," Faith said.

"Kennedy might've helped Fury too, not sure," Xander admitted. "If she was reading Tara's journals she was around for that Thanksgiving."

"I know that anything in them was probably a Council secret."

"Senior Council, meaning the old Sunnydale team, only," Xander corrected. "Because it was just that important. She admitted she read the journals after that battle in England."

"Great," the agent said. "Is she alive?"

"I used non-killing bullets," Xander said. "Your fellow agent had them loaded."

"Wonderful. We'd like to charge her."

"I'd like to punt her," Xander said. "And her girlfriend that showed up to help protect her. Right now I'm not certain Willow didn't help."

Faith shrugged. "We can ask. She's stomping this way with the witch."

Xander stood up to look at her. "Did you know your girlfriend was spilling information on me and Dawn to someone?" he asked bluntly.

She blinked. "What?"

"She sold info on Dawn to a mage and a demon in London," Xander said. "This was coincidentally right after I got taken for that *Thanksgiving* problem or because I'm a seer. Did you know she told people?"

"It's not that important but no!"

"You know what, tell that to the place in my scalp where they stuck a probe, Willow." She flinched. "Tell that to the agents I had to disable to try to get free of."

"Tell that to the six demons and one mage we just burned because they came for Dawn," Faith said. Willow groaned, shaking her head. "Which Kennedy admitted that she sold info on."

Xander nodded. "I was right behind Dawn when she said it, Willow. Just outside of view. So was the agent in there." She glared at him. "Don't give me that look. I will hurt you. I'm in enough pain right now and paranoid enough to think *everyone* who had knowledge might be involved." She took a step back. "Good idea." He looked at the agent. "So, what did the other higher ups want to have done now?"

"Dawn is getting a bodyguard. We worked with an agent over there, one who you work with, and he raided the mage's things. It had a fascinating book on Dawn." Xander winced. "He also had things set up to sacrifice her." Xander shook his head. "To open portals to six unrealistic realms."

"Figures. And me?"

"You...we're still deciding since you're usually somewhere it's easier to protect yourself from everything but snipers. We realize that being down there is safer. We have no idea what we're doing yet but you and Dawn are going to get a hotel room to share tonight while we work things out. We'll escort you both back to Cleveland tomorrow to talk to Mr. Giles."

"I have a biology final," Dawn called.

"You can have a makeup, Miss Summers," he called back. "We have things we need to figure out for your own safety. If we have to, we'll pick up a copy of the test and you can take in the office under watch." He looked at Willow. "Based on what the agent in England found out, we need to talk about Kennedy anyway, Miss Rosenburg," he sighed. "She's apparently went off the deep end and the British government was considering charging her for not warning about an apocalypse battle. Something about a convergence?"

"The one with Thor," Xander said. "Which is why I nagged. One of the other girls warned."

"We adore the two that actually do the work, Mr. Harris, but the little tartlette and Kennedy both need to be discussed. We understand why London is the punishment house." He smiled at him. "Miss Ericson is doing a few wrong things as well."

"She's one of the slayers that usually handles things. Dating or skipping?"

"Dating. The other one, Miss Eihrone? She's... well, the agents over there just call her the tartlette. Apparently she's good for club hunting because that's all she does."

"That's why we moved her from Chicago's house to there," Xander said. "We were hoping someone like Gloria's mom would straighten her out. She was Council raised and is now reveling in the freedom."

"It's about time she found a leash."

"Don't tempt me," Xander warned with a grin. "There's been a few girls I wanted to yank."

"You?" Faith snorted. "I've wanted to yank a few's leashes. Her included. Though, B did give her fashion advice so that's why she's a hoochie mama light."

"Do you really go out looking like that?"

"B grew up an LA princess," Faith said. "Cheerleader and all."

"Ah, that explains the extra fashionably short skirts." He nodded. "We can figure things out in the morning. Let us get Mr. Harris and Miss Summers somewhere safer. We'll have an agent take you ladies back to the airport if you want."

"We can camp and go back with them incase," one of the younger ones said, grinning at Dawn. "You can help me figure out how to do my hair for my date on Saturday."

Xander groaned, holding his head. "Damn it, they made it worse." He got helped back onto the bench. He blinked away the tears, looking at her. "Bethie, no date. You don't want to be sacrificed." She pouted but nodded. "There's six of them. Some of the weenies that didn't get caught. Yeah, they're going to do something to the girls." Faith petted his hair while he made notes.

"Maybe as you heal that pain will ease some," the agent said quietly. Xander looked up at him. "It might."

"It feels like it's pulling now instead of just an ache. Did I have stitches?"

"Yes."

"Great."

"Have you ever had a CT so we can compare it?"

"After the multiple princess demons I think."

"We'll get them from New York."

"If not, ask the neurologist where they hid them." He grinned. "I think he found my brain fascinating and I had a skull fracture then."

"I can do that." He called that in. The office up there could grab those easily enough. If not, they could ask Stark to hack them perhaps. They got the two protected ones and the slayers to a nice enough hotel, getting them checked in and resting for now while plans were discussed and made so the slayers could learn to like them. They'd even help on date nights.

***

Xander walked into the main house, dodging the grab attempt. "I'm really sore, Sochi. Sorry." She pouted but nodded. "Grab Dawn for me." She ran out to pounce Dawn as soon as she got out or the car. Xander walked into the kitchen. "We need a private talk. You, me, Giles, his other heir apparent, and Buffy. We need it sealed tightly so none of the others can hear. We have Secret Service coming in once Dawn's finished with her biology final in the car."

"Did I do something?" Andrew asked.

"No. But Kennedy sure as shit did." He grinned. "England and the US want to put her up for quiet treason charges."

Andrew winced, nodding. "Let me go ward the office. Giles is in his bedroom changing because one of the girls vomited on him. They made their own midnight snacks." Xander grinned. "Are you okay?"

"No."

"Okay." He called Giles down to the office and got the others that needed in there. Buffy came in last, pausing to pat her sister on the shoulder. Andrew finished the wards and Giles frowned but helped. "Xander said so," he said at the odd looks.

Xander waved from his seat. "I'm convening this special, silent, meeting to order. Yeah, it's that way, Buffy."

She sat down with a sigh. "How bad was it?"

"Kennedy's wanted in two countries on quiet treason charges," he said. She moaned and shook her head. "One of them for selling Dawn to a mage in London. Who nicely begged for his life in jail all night. I thought we had burned him but the ladies left him in the hallway."

"I'm Senior Special Agent Miller, Mr. Giles. I'm going to be Dawn's guardian angel while she's in DC for the next four months. I'll be over her case myself and assigning agents to protect her." He put down the file. "This is what the agents we worked with in England found among the mage's things. It was an agent your people have worked with in the past who did the searching."

Giles looked at it, grimacing. "That is bad. I see other files?"

"On the kidnaping and medical results of Mr. Harris," he said, putting that on the desk. "On the plan to guard him whenever he needs us to because he's back in the US." He put that one down. "The plans to guard Dawn Summers." That file got laid down. "And also the plot to take out the slayers that was from the vision he had yesterday." He laid that down and stepped back. Andrew summoned in another chair so he could sit down. "Mr. Wells, have you removed those nanites?"

"Yesterday. I finally killed that virus."

"Thank you."

"So they stole Xander to experiment on him like the Initiative used to do?" Buffy asked while Giles read.

"Brain probe," Xander said. "Makes the visions hurt worse."

She looked him over. "You okay otherwise?"

"A lot of bruising, a healing concussion, a constant headache, and I'm a bit more paranoid than usual since the Secret Service ran bloodwork to see what the other idiots found. They can use some of it." She slumped, staring at him. He nodded.

"We did find out that Director Fury was not the reason he was kidnaped. One of his agents ordered it and he had no idea by his reaction. Agent Hill nearly lost her temper but sent two teams to take any samples they had and destroy them, plus whoever had them." He smiled at Xander. "They'll track down any missing samples as well."

"HYDRA people?"

"Not that we're aware of. We're hoping not." Giles stared at him. "Three could be used for less than savory purposes against humanity, Mr. Giles." Giles grimaced but went back to reading. He looked at Xander again. "We do have some concerns that people where you're working may be willing to take the price on your head to raise some money."

"Which price?" Xander asked. "The one from high school? The new one from the assholes I rescued Gloria from? The corrupt one that we found out was possessed?"

"Yes, we found all those and another one," the agent said. He handed that file over from the pile on the desk. Xander read it and grimaced. "How did that group come to your attention?"

Xander grinned. "We made them come help save themselves and they hated it."

"How?"

"It was a matter of the demons going toward two orphanages and a school or their camp. So we led them to the camp and we did call in a warning about the demons showing up there. Afterward we thanked them for their help and for saving the kids in those schools. They weren't pleased but their anger went right past the cleric who reminded them they had just defeated a great evil. It ended up letting the local military bust in to take some of that camp down later on. They did the normal thing and got really drunk after the battle." Giles stared at him. "Assholes who take in kids to be soldiers or innocent kids in a school, Giles?"

"I have no problem with that decision. Why do they want you dead for that?"

"Because it led to their camp there being busted," Xander said. The agent nodded.

"Ah, I see." He went back to reading, handing the one folder to Buffy. "Where is Willow?"

"Fuck if I care," Xander said. Giles winced at that. "She tried to defend Kennedy, even after hearing what she had done."

"I'm so glad I got to punch her a few times," Dawn said. Buffy looked at her. "What? I did take self defense lessons. It's important I do more of them too."

"She had bad form but it was a nice punch," the agent said. "The agent on site said that it knocked her into a wall a few times."

Buffy looked at her sister. "Are you okay?"

"Livid. I had six demons coming into my dorm room, the battle against three of them in there until they could get them into the hallway, I'm not getting my security deposit back, and I'll be damned if I don't have to wash every single piece of clothing I have due to slime and blood."

"We can shop," Buffy offered.

"I might take you up on that if Andrew can't let me use the washer."

"I've got today's laundry already done. I can help with that, Dawn." She hugged him. "Why six demons?"

"Six demons and the mage," Xander said with a grin for him.

"Oh." He winced, looking at Dawn, who nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Really, really mad." He cuddled her for now. It'd help her calm down.

Xander looked at Buffy. "I'm past my usual paranoia all the way to Mad Eye Moody levels."

She nodded. "It sounds like a good idea, Xander. Are the minis going to be safe around you if they show up?"

"They have been so far when others showed up. We learned about the idiots who hurt kids because they showed up." She slumped, shaking her head. He grinned. "We handled it."

"The president found a different site that listed more of the battles," Agent Miller said. "He was not happy but he did thank Mr. Harris for that bit of service."

"If we know about those, we'll nag," Buffy said. "Us nagging Xander means he huffs off to go find another mini to train."

"We can go over it with Mr. Giles later, Miss Summers. By the way, Mr. Giles, who is your heir apparent since Miss Rosenburg is going to be in jail until her hearing?"

"She is?" he asked.

"Yes. She's considered extremely dangerous. Mostly because she went after her girlfriend in the county jail we were using to store them. It fell on their heads." Xander shook his head with a sigh. "She's vowed she'll go back to when she had the magic addiction so she can go back to using memory spells and the like."

"We can calm her down," Buffy said. "How long before she can come home?"

"That may depend on how much of Kennedy's misdeeds she knew about."

"She had a shrieking, girlfriend abuse fit at Warrior Kreth's house because she found out Kennedy had somehow read Tara's journals," Xander said. "The warriors were not amused."

"I wouldn't be either but that's good to know. Were they specially stored?" Giles pointed at his safe. "So she broke in?"

"Somehow," Giles agreed. "As for my heir to this seat, I'll have to consider that and the damage they could do."

Buffy shook her head. "I'll take Faith's old cell for killing some of them. They won't bring back the old ways around my mini slayers."

Xander nodded. "I'd help her do that."

Giles nodded. "That's why I'd need to consider it, children." He went back to reading, grimacing at what he saw. "This is correct?" he asked, letting the agent see that section.

"We triple checked it, Mr. Giles. We didn't want to believe it either."

"What?" Xander asked at Giles scowl.

"Gold mine," he said.

"Oh, that demon. I'm not a dwarf or a slave. I'm not mining things for him. Definitely not as cheerfully as he thought humans should be thanks to a certain Disney movie. He certainly wasn't Snow White either."

"Is that why you didn't report that?" Buffy asked, smirking at him.

"Partially. There's other reasons." Giles nodded once and flipped the page. "As he's probably coming to?" Giles nodded again, then flipped the page. He shot Xander a dirty look. "Oh, now he's there."

Giles closed the folder, staring at him. "I would like reports on this sort of thing."

"Then you're not where I think you are yet."

"Is this like your warning to take a nap?"

Xander got up to get him a drink, handing it over. "Yes." He went to hover by the doorway.

"Xander, toss me some water," Buffy said. Giles went back to reading. Yup, he needed the drink. Then he nearly crushed the glass. "Was that it?"

"No. That's the lead up to the bad thing. I was getting free during that part. And then help arrived." The glass cracked that time. Xander winced. Giles stood up and glared at him. He stared back. "It's not my fault. Though that's why I didn't send in that report. Can you imagine if Willow had gotten hold of it?"

"Dearly." He huffed. "What happened after you had to steal the artillery?"

"Not a lot. A few days going 'ow'. Cleaning up the mine's mess and getting the others he had captured to help. Talking the locals into not reopening it. That was helped by the huge head they found when they undid the rockslide that I used to close it." Giles sat down, slumping and staring at him. Xander sat down too. "That's why I don't report those things, Giles. Beyond that, had nothing to do with the slayers."

"How many of these sort of incidences are there?" Giles demanded.

"Ten, maybe if you're being real inclusive."

"I see." He stared at him. "I'd like those too."

"And the day I get to walk out the door I'll hand you the web address so you can get find out and you can have the raging fit you'll want to have while I'm on a plane." He stared at him. "Because my second month in Africa I started to run into those nice temples? And one of them *really* thought I was a pretty human girl."

Giles cleared his throat. "Really?" Xander nodded. "Messy?"

"By the time I got done? Yup. The locals complained about the destruction but it was necessary and they did get back the eight generations of slaves that she had. She had done some magic to keep them from aging so fast."

Giles sighed, getting up to get another drink and clean up the old one. Thankfully the glass had been empty when he had crushed it. "You're going to drive me batty, Xander."

"Which is why I didn't report those. They had nothing to do with the slayers and we'd like to keep you sane for as long as possible."

"As would I. I should show her."

"Giles, don't make me get something to take out a witch," he said. "Because I'd do that."

"Yes, that would probably require something of that sort." He took a drink of the soda. "Are the others worse or better than that?"

"Three worse."

"Yes, I'll take that information on the day you go back on rounds or whatever. How long should it take?"

"At least a week plus more for hangover recovery." Buffy stared at him, head tipped to the side. "You don't get to see. Nothing to do with the slayers, Buffy."

"I'm going to have to swat you to remind you you're just a guy, right?"

He looked at her. "I'd hit you back."

"Oh. Okay." She looked at the agent. "Is he going to hide from the girls forever?"

"Quite possibly with the way some of you nag him," the agent said with a smile.

Xander nodded. "Thankfully Mia's all right. A few guys tried to grab her but Yihana's watcher was bringing them for the mass meeting and got her back." He rubbed his forehead. "He thinks I'm warping the girls from the fine old ways still."

Giles grimaced. "We'll talk with him soon, Xander." He read over the other files. "How many know this about Dawn?"

"Two of us, the president, and there's a sealed file with the head of the Secret Service. That way we can make sure that there's no further problems. Any others that Slayer Kennedy may have shared with are presently being hunted down because we believe they're with the same people that would want Mr. Harris' blood."

Giles nodded. "I can see why. That's a relief in many ways." Dawn smirked at him. "The ones who wanted Xander for other reasons?"

"Gone I hope. We're making sure this week." Xander grinned at him. "That does leave a bit of a problem with the death threats on him. The ones that want him for being a seer."

"Thankfully none have been religious seekers," Xander quipped.

"That is good. Is he in trouble for sharing that?"

"Oh, yes. The president has been chewing on him for the last three days. Especially when it was noted that someone could use his blood to make something very bad." Xander nodded with a grimace.

"Wouldn't the things that work on other germs work on his?"

"Buffy, anytime you get a virus, it mutates in your body," Dawn said. "So it's just yours and it infects you. That's how you get versions that don't work with any treatment. Think about Xander's past blood stuff." Buffy winced, shaking her head. "Not only the mermaid stuff but the hellmouth taint itself changed it. Plus later ones would warp them some more." Xander nodded once. "There's no treatment for hellmouth tainted stuff." She looked at the agent. "That's not being shared with the big dickhead, right?"

"No," the agent said. "It is not and it's not somewhere he can hack either." Dawn smiled. "How many others have that sort of problem within the Council?"

"None. Xander is quite in a league of his own on things like that happening to him."

"Wonderful." He smiled. "So let's go over how we can help you help them, Mr. Giles. That way all your people who need to know certain things, like Mr. Wells, have the information they need."

Dawn patted Andrew on the wrist with a grin. "This way when you send me cookies you send extra for my new guard."

He hugged her. "I love how warped you are."

"Thank you." She gave him a squeeze. "You need a vacation."

"Probably. The girls would poison themselves. Two have this week."

"We can handle it," Giles assured him.

"If I'm around I can help. It's been years but I do know the basics of cooking thanks to a few older jobs and doing it for myself," Xander said. Andrew grinned. "Go visit your condo of evil genius."

"Nah, that's too tempting. I'll go visit my other one."

"Sure," Buffy said. "Let us know. If we absolutely have to, we can order a few times and have leftovers."

"I can teach someone how to use the crockpot," Andrew assured her. Giles smiled. "That way we're not all broke from the pizzas."

"Thank you," Giles said. "The girls do eat more than some professional football teams I think."

"We need it," Buffy huffed.

"Did you ever notice you eat less when you're dating?" Xander asked her.

"No. I do?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. I know sometimes I patrol less." She considered it. "We can get Faith a date."

"We'll figure that out later," Giles said. "For now, let's work on the safety of two of our members." He looked at Xander. "If I looked at those would there be other governments that would complain?"

"No. We trained them in how to come find me or one of the older slayers if something's bigger than a lot of standard things or needs more than a bullet. They hate it when it happens but they're glad they've got someone who can handle it. Sometimes they call first and I just give them advice. Then half the time they ignore it ever happened once it's all cleaned up."

Giles smiled. "That's very handy and well done, Xander." Xander grinned. "The others in Asia and South America?" Xander nodded they did the same thing. "Wonderful ideas. Especially with so many young slayers." He looked at the agent. "Are you proposing that he'll be guarded only here in the US?"

"That's the easiest option. He's a good enough hand at it in the wilds."

"Practice," Xander quipped.

"I'm sure it was," Buffy said, giving him an odd look.

Xander nodded. "Lots of practice. Plus hunting for food."

She grimaced. "Eww." She looked at her sister. "Are you going to turn into Xander?"

"Yup, I seem to need to." She shrugged and crossed her legs. "Especially if those charming people that want to bleed me start to show up again. I don't think I could go with him on his rounds to be safer so I've got to do it. So I'm going to a higher level self defense lesson in a few weeks. When the new semester starts. Which takes out my later latin lessons, Giles. Sorry."

"It's fine, Dawn. You must be able to protect yourself." He looked at the agent. "How can we help you make sure she's safe?"

"Fortunately we're very good at it and she's not that hard to guard at the moment."

***

Tony Stark walked up to Nick Fury and slugged him. "That's from the people that Rogers found trying to cook down Harris' blood to make a bio bomb." He walked off after dropping the report. "He's healing in the infirmary so couldn't deliver it himself."

"Is he infected?" Hill called after him.

"No. Just a few new wounds to add to his scar collection." He looked at her. "I'm pretty sure that not even you guys had a file on that before outing him. By the way, he probably said thanks too since the Secret Service now has him and another member of the Council to guard." She winced. He left, going back to the tower.

She looked at the file while Fury cleaned up his split lip. "This is bad. What were they hoping to cook it down to get?" She went to find that information. It wasn't on any computer network. His file listed 'has been sick in the past' and left it there. She huffed but called Xander, getting his voicemail. "I have the report from Captain America, Xander. I need to go over it with you to see if you knew about them. Thank you." She hung up. She handed the report to her boss and let him read it. "Maybe we should give an agent to him to train."

"I doubt any of ours would handle him in the wild." He handed it back before stomping off.

She grimaced. This was looking like a bad thing. They needed to take those groups down anyway but now it was more important.

***

Xander walked into Mia's village, catching her when she launched herself at him to cuddle. "I'm okay. They found me and I'm okay." She clutched him so he walked her home. His phone beeped with a message. //Do stay down there until the urge to kick you in your arse retreats. That one temple was not necessary as it was reported. Though handy I'm sure, but still not necessary.// Xander wrote back that it was because she had been emoting all over the area to drive the humans away. Then he put his phone back. A second message. //Also, if I should hear that you take on a war band of humans again, I believe we will have to have a talk with some professional about your sanity levels, Xander. Do stop that before I make you my heir to all this.//

Xander wrote back that it was necessary. He was on his way to remove a slayer from their grip. Giles' answer back was mostly swearing so he let it go before Giles had a heart attack or something. He got two more ranting text messages that night but Mia took his phone after the last one to chide him back about Xander doing what he had to do to protect all them and if he didn't like it, he could lump it because he was mean to Xander. That would mean Xander would quit and leave them without him. All the girls in Africa appreciated Xander for doing things, even if the others didn't. Then she put her name at the bottom and sent it. She cuddled up with Xander again, going over her new reading assignment with him. Xander took the phone to send Giles a site and password so he could see his real reports, not just the demon reported things. He didn't get another complaining text message for a month.

***

Giles walked out to the kitchen the next morning, looking rough. "I was wrong, Xander did have reasons for most of those. I need to apologize to him for that." Andrew looked at him. "He finally gave me his report site."

"I've seen that."

"You have?" Giles demanded.

"He said someone has to know." He gave him some tea and toast.

"Thank you, Andrew. Are there things not on there?"

"Not that I know of." Giles nodded, walking off sipping so he could read the rest of the reports he hadn't gotten. This was very bad. Xander had apparently gotten the mannerisms of an action hero.

He had to make sure his other field watchers didn't have the same sort of problems or manners of handling things.

***

Xander walked into the town of holy mess. One of the military guys tried to stop him. "I've already had it, I can't get it again." The soldier glared. So he repeated it. "I'm trained in construction. I can go find survivors. It's not going to make me sick to do that." He got around him and went to find the field commander. "Sir."

"You're... this was a demon?"

"No, this was an idiot human group," Xander said. "But from the news reports, I've already had what they spread and I've worked construction. Let me help look for survivors."

"We can allow that. You'll still need at least a mask." Xander held up his work gloves and took the safety gear with him to the site. He made that note about the guy's reasons. Others had shown up that had the disease they stated was spread around. This one was just a bit weirder than they were.

Xander nodded at the crew lead. "I worked construction for three years and was a team leader," he said. "Let me help."

"Go to the west quadrant," he said with a point.

Xander nodded, carefully moving that way to help the retrieval teams. They had hunting dogs too. He got the first few problems solved and braced so the remains didn't fall on their head too. That helped and they got a group of people that were in a former store of the former mall. Xander looked. "If we can brace three areas, we can spread out from here." That got reported back and the site manager came in. "Brace around there and there," he said with a point. "It'll let us get to the stores between the sections."

"That was all atrium and glass," he said. "Where the bomb was set off."

Xander winced. "Any hope?"

"Not that we know of."

"Have the dogs look?" Xander suggested. The site manager nodded, calling them in. They hit on a body but not anywhere nearby with the way they were digging. Xander moved in to dig it out. "We have a baby!" he called. "Dead mom, she shielded her!" They got a medical team in to grab the kid. Xander moved with the dog to dig wherever it hit. A few more survivors in bad shape. The other areas were doing the same thing. By that night they had everyone accounted for. Xander came out, taking off the safety gear and putting his sunglasses back on. He nodded at the site manager. "If you need me, let me know."

"We know you know explosives."

Xander came over to look at the pictures they had of the incident. "It's not that hard, made with fertilizer. We did it sometimes on the construction site." He watched it more slowly and the explosion itself. "He's not praying first." They stared at him. "There's no shout of anything, no muttered prayers." He looked at them. "Wouldn't they usually do that?"

"They would," an officer agreed. "Who're you?"

"Watcher Xander Harris. I'm over the African slayers." He shook his hand. "I'm also a former construction worker and had the measles you guys said was released."

"Thank you for your help." He looked. "He's not praying. You're right. That is weird."

Xander nodded. "Also, someone weakened that support. It's got cracks," Xander said with a point. "The eastern roof might've held if not. I can't see if the others were."

"They were cracked late last year due to an event," the site manager said. "They said they were fixing it."

Xander nodded. "Clearly." The guy smiled. "Let me know if I can be of some help." He shook their hands. "I'm going to get a motel room and clean up." He left, going to do that. One of the medics stopped him to check him over. "I've had measles, ma'am."

"That's good." She smiled. "Thank you for helping."

"I've got the skills to do that. I should help." He grinned and slipped out, going to a cheap nearby hotel he'd stayed in before. Now all he had to worry about was if they used his blood to do that.

***

Dawn hung up and looked at her guard. He was just now assigned to her this week. "Xander wanted to know if that bomb was related to him."

"Who's Xander?"

"They were supposed to brief you about Xander, Steve."

He called that in, listening to his supervisor wonder. Then he found the file that said who to call. They did and that one told him. He hung up. "The regional director said no it wasn't from his source. He also said I'm to tell them when he comes back to the US?"

"Yeah, for the same reason I am."

"Okay. Why doesn't he have an agent on him?"

"Xander's our guy training slayers in Africa."

"Oh. Him. Okay." He nodded once. "Understood. Tell me when he tells you he's coming back."

"Of course." She smiled. "As long as it's not because we're in the middle of an emergency. They can pull him for those."

"Those we'll handle too."

"That'd be nice." She shrugged, getting things together. "I've got a study date tonight with Maria."

"That's fine. At the library or the coffee shop?"

"Library. She thought it'd be easier on you." She grinned.

"She's sweet but too young for me." He followed her out to the street then up to the library. Dawn was easy enough to guard. She didn't do anything wild, no parties, no druggie friends. It was a great job until someone tried to attack her to get back at the slayers. He was there for the second one that week. And the same thing happened as last time - the demon died.

Dawn smiled at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's get you safely somewhere."

"I'm fine. You handle this. If they try me on the last few feet to the library I'll handle it." He scowled but she walked off. "We're back by the 500's usually."

"Thanks for the warning." He called that attack in and got someone to come clean up his mess. Some day the demons really would learn.

***

Xander sighed after the battle, staring at the mess. "Fuck," he said quietly.

The slayers that had been sent to him looked at him. "Xander, you're injured," one said in as normal of a voice as she could. "You're really injured. Buffy's going to kill us."

"I'll live."

"We're not sure of that with the blood on you," the other one said.

Xander looked at himself then at them. "Only half's mine from that slice into my side." They nodded, coming over to make him go see the medics. They nicely freaked out at the blood and got him stripped so they could check him over. "That's not as bad," he said, looking at his side. "When the hacks took out my appendix they didn't get the hole fully sealed and I got to look at my intestines for a few days." The girls and the nurses winced at that. "I'll be okay. Just need some stitches."

"And some blood," a nurse said.

Xander looked at her, shaking his head. "It'll cause problems."

"He has hellmouth taint that makes giving him blood go weird like he's had other things," one of the slayers said. Xander nodded, pointing at her.

"We can mix it. That way your body won't reject it." She got the senior surgeons in to handle his injuries while she got the blood.

The surgeon looked at the guy's injuries. "How are you still awake and not begging from the pain?"

Xander shrugged and grimaced, holding one of them. "I've had worse. This time last year I had two broken legs from that one battle."

"Uh-huh." He looked at the slayers. "Your injuries?"

"We're healing slowly but going well," one reported. "We'll let the nurses do bandaids while you fix Xander. We can't lose Xander."

"I'll do my best." The nurse hooked up the blood and mixed in a line of his with it. The doctor nodded, not asking why. They were off to surgery.

The slayers shared a look then one shook her head. "I'm not telling Buffy," she said.

"Someone took film, girls," a general said. They smiled. "We'll send it to her if you'd like." They nodded, giving over Buffy's email address and one for Giles too. They sent in a text message that a battle video report was on its way. A few minutes later Giles asked for injuries and needs. They said Xander was out of weapons again and was in surgery to clean up the cuts on his sides and back. They were healing but letting the nurses help. The slayers got to get more stitches when a higher demon showed to take them out for being young, injured, and tired. Xander got a worse injury because he had to defend the doctor and nurses but the demon died and that was the important thing.

***

Xander woke up on the plane, blinking at the guy next to him. "Who're you?" he asked quietly.

"Secret Service, Mr. Harris. Dawn Summers told us you were coming back so we're helping." Xander blinked hard but nodded. "Rest. We've got another four hours before we get to a US hospital. I've got your safety." Xander nodded, letting himself drift off again. The agent went back to his book. Unless a demon tried to take out the plane they'd be okay. There was an ambulance waiting on the other side for them. Xander should've been on a bed but the slayers pointed out that it'd make him seem weaker and he'd get attacked again. They were further back in the plane napping against each other with another agent watching over them. They could handle this.

***

"You ever feel like just screaming 'fuck' at the top of your lungs?" Dawn asked her guard, who was unfortunately unconscious at the moment. "Because I sure as shit do." She pulled up the magic she didn't use and created a shield around them while calling her sister. "My guard is down, there's six demons trying to eat me and a buddy, and one of my friends here turned out to be out to get me. Is there a slayer near DC?" She listened.

"I can keep up the shield for a few more minutes but that's going to draw attention, Buffy. Yeah, he's knocked out. Thanks." She hung up and patted the agent down to get his phone. "Hi, it's Dawn Summers and the owner of this phone was my guardian for the moment. He's presently unconscious thanks to a demon attack on us. No, he's not awake, dude. As in they hit him on the head and he's out." She huffed. "Just let his supervisor know please?" She hung up and put the phone back into his pocket.

"I so need to set up a paranoid person compound," she muttered, adding more energy to the shield. A new demon came sniffing over. "Shoo." She pointed. "I healed your head bitch the other day. Do me that favor." It brayed and brought the rest of the pack. "Great. Thanks a lot for repaying the healing." She waved at it. It sniffed and got happy too. She pointed at the officers. "Takes silver," she called. "My Secret Service guard is down." She pointed at him. "I can't hold this forever."

"Just silver?" the officer called.

"Yeah, just silver. It'll kill three of the six out there trying to kill us too."

"Are you a hunter?"

"No, I'm a sister of a slayer."

"Oh!" He nodded, calling that in. That got agents there to help. They were making a new hunting team for the city.

Dawn waved. "Silver! You need silver! The other three need beheaded!" The agents nodded, taking out the pack first and then the demons that attacked them. Dawn sighed, relaxing her shield. She got grabbed by the hair and fought back. Her guard had started to carry special bullets. They wouldn't kill this one but they'd sure make her miserable. She fired off into the demon's head, making it shriek and drop her. Dawn rubbed her scalp. "Could use a sword," she called. "Really a whole lot."

"Shut up, Dawn. Let us," one of them called.

She looked back then moved her guard out of the way. The new demon showing up needed magic to kill. "Fuck me," she muttered. "Right up the ear canal." The demon laughed. "Go. Away. Don't make me pull up shit I don't want to use."

"You won't. It would expose you."

Dawn shrugged. "Magic comes in all colors, dude." She called up magic. The demon lunged so she shot it at him. Just a large ball of it. The demon screamed as it dissolved. She panted a few times then looked around, pulling magic back in.

Her study buddy was shaking her head. "No, you're not that powerful. You're a minor witch I can sacrifice for power!"

"Duh! No I'm not!" She slugged her, knocking her down. "Never have been." One of the agents grabbed her arm so she fought him off. "Let go!" He let go and stepped back, hands up. "Fuck this and you!"

The agent nodded. "Definitely. Can you calm down? Your aura's out, Miss Summers." She sighed but pulled it back in. "Good job. Thank you for protecting your guard. The local slayer's in Virginia today handling a nest. Thankfully the PD alerted us."

"I used his phone to call his last number used since it said it was an agent."

"It's another multi-level attack," the agent said. "Xander got attacked this morning. He's on his way to a US hospital now under guard with two of the slayers that he had to get help from." She swallowed but nodded, walking off to get sick in a bush. "Sure, that's a great thing," he agreed, following her. "Call your sister?"

"I already did once."

"Okay. Let her know you're safe."

She spit a few times, standing up to stare at him while using the back of her hand to wipe off her mouth. "Am I? I've seen you in a few of Buffy's pictures."

"We don't want to hurt you or do anything like that. I got assigned to the DC hunting team because of that but I'm using slayer approved methods." Dawn nodded. "We can go back to your apartment. Let me get him an ambulance." One was already waiting so they ran over.

Dawn looked at one. "His phone's in his front pants pocket on the left facing him," she called. "He's my guard." The paramedic nodded. "His ID case is in his back pocket." They found it and nodded at the badge. "Thank you. Take good care of him please? She knocked him out from behind with a thrown rock."

"We will. Do you need any treatment?" the paramedic asked.

Dawn shook her head. "I just need some meditation to control my temper." The paramedics nodded and took the agent off. Dawn looked at the hunting team. "My apartment's up the street."

"That's fine. I'm Agent Hillers. I'm in command of the local hunting team."

She waved a hand. "Dawn Summers. Apparently my study buddy thought I was a minor witch she could sacrifice."

"Where are you on Rosenburg's levels?" he asked.

"I'm not answering that. I'm paranoid about that stuff and I can't really use my magic." They nodded. "It just happens now and then when I get really mad."

"Good," they agreed, walking her off. This was going to be a bad night. Within twenty minutes they were relieved of duty by the Secret Service, who got Dawn to a building that was shielded and sealed so she could vent and then calm down. It was her former usual guard, now back from injury leave.

***

Buffy stared at the extra large demons facing her. She looked at Faith and the two minis behind them. They were on a training hunt because it should've been weak tonight. "Ladies, set off your beacons," she ordered. She looked around then at Faith. "Get them out of here, Faith."

"Shut up, B. They can run."

"Faith. Take them to safety." Faith moved back to guard the two minis. Officers and agents showed up. "Get the two young ones," Buffy yelled. "Just get them out of here." One of the demons laughed. The officers shot at the demons surrounding their backs, grabbing the girls to get them out of there once one fell. She and Faith shook hands. "Tell my mom I said hi?"

"Sure thing, B, and tell her I said the same."

"I can do that." They dove in to fight the bigger demons. More of the senior slayers showed up by the time Buffy fell to a huge fist to the head. She'd live but she wasn't going to like it for weeks. Faith got clawed pretty good and fell as the girls made it to their sides. Andrew floated them out.

One slayer got out of a police car and walked over. "Ladies, it's a Xander moment," she called. She threw the box in there. One of them set it off as the others ran. Andrew shielded her so she managed to just go flying and get a lot of bruises from knocking down a tree. She sat up rubbing her chest. "Damn I ache." She looked at the mess. Two demons left. She got up and went to help but one of the paramedics stopped her. "I'm fine."

"Shut up," the officer ordered. "You're injured. They can handle it. I've seen them both take out some huge things." He led her off with the paramedic. "We don't usually see you."

"I'm Slayer Gloria." They nodded. "Xander was working on my training in Africa last year."

"That explains why you got the higher weapon," the officer quipped. "Is he okay?"

"Debatable." They nodded, letting her get an ice pack. When one of the slayers fell, and onto her sword, she hopped back up and went to deal with that demon. She was joined by her mentor and another one. "Hey, guys."

"Did you really take that week off?" Natasha Romanoff demanded.

"Six days of it but I was getting in snuggly healing time." She shot her a look. "I needed it." She ducked the arrow. "Hey, Mr. Barton."

"Clint, Gloria." He got out of the way of Steve Rogers jumping in. That helped.

Gloria picked up a dropped sword, tossing it to Natasha. "Beheading?"

"Beheading works on most things." The two demons fell and one more came up screaming and crying. It fell on one of the dead ones then lunged at them. Gloria cut her head off. Natasha looked at her. "Are you all right?"

"I hit the tree."

"I saw."

"I'm just sore." She grinned slightly. "How's Xander?"

"Much more sore. He had two battles today." Gloria winced. "They'll be landing in Virginia in another hour or so."

"Let's hope this time people don't capture him and leave him in a closed hospital they're about to demolish." Gloria looked back. "Are they okay?" she yelled.

"Yes, ma'am," one of the paramedics called. "Badly cut but they're taking her directly to surgery. Summers' skull isn't broken. Faith's cut but needs stitches, not surgery."

Gloria nodded, calming down on her way back to check on the minis. "Thank you, guys. You helped a lot." She opened the police car door, looking at the girls. "Buffy's got shit timing like she has shit taste in men," she said bluntly. They got out to hug her. She cuddled back. "We handle things so others don't have to but you're too young to help with the big stuff yet." She looked at them. "Do the reports?"

"No thank you," one said.

"Sorry, someone's got to. I need gatorade." They huffed but did that with the officers. Gloria looked back at the team there. "Thanks for coming, guys."

"We had three larger ones attacking New York earlier. Stark had to blow them up and the Hulk had to beat another one," Clint said, strolling over. "You need more than an ice pack. Your shirt's tight and you can see the rib." He pointed.

She looked then shrugged. "It's been like that. It's not broken. But thank you." She hugged his arm then walked off. "Let's smoke these critters." The two younger ones came over to help with the clean up. Andrew did too. It helped them all calm down.

"Reports from DC say that Dawn's fine," Natasha said, looking at her phone.

Gloria stood up. "They attacked Dawn? Did she destroy the city?" Steve stared at her. "Dawn isn't supposed to be using her magic. She learned how in case she needed to pull up a shield or something but she's not supposed to be using her magic at all."

"She's fine. The agent with her is down but he'll heal," Natasha said, getting that report. Gloria sighed but nodded. "Xander's plane landed a bit early. They're fine. Those two are going with him to the hospital to guard him." Gloria nodded again. "Must we do this?"

"Yup. They could have germs," one of the minis said, lighting the pile on fire. "There. Cheery even." She walked off with the others. "Gloria?"

"I'll be there soon, ladies." They nodded. She smiled at Natasha. "I remember being their age."

"Thankfully I don't," she admitted but smiled at her protege. "Go lead the house. I will see you when you get back to New York."

"Thanks." She hugged her briefly then shook Clint and Steve's hands before walking off. A vampire jumped out of a bush at her so she staked him. "Wow, you really want us to stay stressed?" she asked the ashes. She walked into the house. "Ladies, house meeting!" she yelled. "Fall in to the tv room!" The girls came running down the stairs. "Buffy and Faith will be fine," she told them all. "Faith's going to have stitches. Buffy's got a concussion at least most likely." They nodded. "This was part of someone's plot as there were attacks where Xander was, in New York, here, in DC on Dawn." A few winced. "We're all okay, though Xander's going to be in the hospital for a while." She looked at them. "For now, I'm going to cut off mini training trips."

"Why are you in charge?" one of the senior ones asked.

"Xander said so. I'm Gloria." She smiled.

"Oh, yeah, you're getting extra training and stuff." She nodded. "I can agree with that. No training trips. We're on paranoid bitch status?" Gloria smiled and nodded. "We can do that. Is Dawn all right?"

"I was told she lost her temper but not fully since DC's still standing." A few smiled. "Xander's battle had a battle, then he had to get up off the surgical table where he was getting stitches to defend the doc and nurses." They all groaned. "It's a plot. One attacked New York and Stark had to beat them up with the Hulk." The girls looked at each other. "For now, we're going to let Andrew decide on school. Because we're not sure if it'll happen there or not."

"Hey, a free day," one quipped. "No sparring so we're not too tired in case something happens."

"Report any and all visions or slayer dreams," Gloria ordered. "So sleep in shifts?" They nodded. "Good girls. And ladies." She smiled. "We'll deal with it and someone call all the other houses to put them on notice." They moved to do that. She went to report to Giles, who was in the kitchen making tea. "Mr. Giles."

"Well done, Gloria," he said quietly, smiling at her. "Some day you'll make an excellent senior slayer." He patted her on the cheek. "I can agree with all those. Andrew is calming down in the pantry. We'll handle it. I'm on the way to the hospital to guard Buffy and Faith myself." She nodded. "Very good job, my dear." He left, taking his tea in a sealing cup.

***

Bruce Banner got handed a report from a SHIELD agent the next morning. "Sir, we have no idea what caused that level of energy. The director wanted to know if you thought it was gamma radiation."

"That's magic. That's magical energy surges with that level. Some strong witch having a fit?"

"Some strong witch being attacked," Stark said as he joined them. He hissed in Bruce's ear, getting a nod. "Tell the one-eyed asshole that Dawn Summers got attacked so she dumped some magic into a shield to protect herself and her guard."

"I can do that, sir. He was worried about energy levels."

"It's fine."

"Thank you, Mr. Stark." He walked off calling that in to Agent Hill. Who silently took out those readings and other information to protect Dawn. Fury came out of his office to glare at her so she went in to hiss at him. Without telling him why.

***

Xander blinked awake, looking at his room then at the guy next to him. "New dream walk?"

"You wish with how bad you're injured." He leaned forward. "You'll be okay. It'll just be months."

Xander nodded. "I can understand why. I remember getting up from being stitched to handle it."

"They had to pull the needle out of your former spleen."

Xander grimaced. "They haven't done bloodwork, right?"

"Only normal things. The Secret Service has already descended." He smiled. "So, want to talk about retirement?"

"Ask me when the physical therapy makes me ache and cry," he sighed.

"Very possible but not totally likely. Your insides look like goo from what the nurses said."

Xander grimaced, looking at his stomach then at him. "Am I missing other things?"

"Just your spleen so far." He relaxed again, staring at him. "The one with the plans got kicked around by agents."

"SHIELD?"

"MI-5."

"Hmm. Brit? Old Council?"

"Avatar of Loki."

"Oh, Paul." He nodded with a grimace. "I'm going to kill him."

"Might be too late." Xander grinned. "Dawn's fine. The others are fine. Buffy was complaining about her concussion and how did you do anything with that headache." He rolled his eyes. "All they know is the basics, not how you're injured. So you're safe from fussing since you're in DC. Dawn said she'd be in later." Xander smiled. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm okay. I'll be okay."

Tommy stood up. "Want to talk about that bloodline stuff?"

Xander took a deep breath. "They'll still need me for apocalypse battles and stuff."

"That's not that out of the ordinary. We can talk about it when you're down to outpatient therapy." He patted him on the arm. "Buckaroo freaked out when he saw Darcy helping move people and then the story on your battle. I have never seen him be that mad."

"Did he know Paul?"

"He might have. You never know about him." He smiled. "Get better faster, kid. I'll see you in a few weeks." He left, going back to New Jersey to tell the others. On the way he ran into Dawn coming in. He paused and stared.

"I know I'm pretty but I'm not pretty enough for musicians," she quipped, staring back at him.

"He was just awake." He wrote out a number and handed it to her. "Have him call when he escapes."

"I can do that." She smiled. "Thanks."

"Welcome." He left, going to tell Buckaroo that interesting tidbit. No wonder DC's energy sensors had lit up like a holiday tree.

***

Xander smiled at the young woman sneaking in. "Hi, Darcy."

"Xander." She carefully hugged him. "Are you all right?"

"I'm okay. Just sore." She patted him on the hand. "Are you guys okay?"

"I'm good. Jane's talking to people today about energy readings."

"Um... why?"

"Dawn wasn't the only witch that was protecting herself. They wanted to know about ways to gather it and dissipate it. She and Bruce are talking to people today."

"Oh, okay. As long as it doesn't endanger Dawn."

"No, she's good. The inquest said she did what she should. She even thought to tell her guard's boss."

"That's good. Did mine get captured?"

"The military did, and when the flying ones attacked the mobile hospital to get you and the slayers." Xander grimaced. "One of them took your phone to tap out a message to all your minis so they know you're okay, just in the hospital for a few weeks." He grinned. "So when do you get out?"

"No clue. They won't tell me."

"That's bad but I'm sure it'll be soon. They don't want to keep you longer than they have to. Especially with three guards in the hallway scowling at them."

"Why do I have three?"

"No idea. They scowled at me too until I told them we had met again on vacation. They said that's why they're scowling. I assured them I wasn't going to debauch you."

"I don't think I have a lot left to be debauched for," he said but smiled.

"Eh," she said with a hand wave. "Thor said you can be debauched and not be a virgin. It just takes a lot of squealing." He grinned. "But you're okay?"

"I'm okay, Darcy. Thank you."

"You're welcome." She kissed him on the nose then hopped up. "Feel better soon. Stark was even complaining about you being so injured." She left, going to pick up Jane.

Xander looked out the open doorway. "Hey, guard guys?" One leaned in. "Why do I have three of you?"

"Because there's a possibility that someone will try to come gather you since you're injured, sir."

Xander looked at him. "So the feeling that I'm in trouble?"

"All in your head, but we'd be paranoid if we did your job too." He smiled and went back to his spot. "Nurse Glenda is coming with a pan and cloth."

"Great. Bed bath time." He settled himself in better. Nurse Glenda looked like someone's grandmother, only she was mean. She walked in. "When do I get to go home?"

"Never." She smiled. "Because we're going to keep you here so you can't get injured again."

"Talk like that makes a guy nervous," he said dryly, smirking at her. "It makes us want to escape."

"I'm sure you'd try but we're not being mean." She got things to give him a bed bath then came over to scrub him down. When she was done, Xander waited until the floor got quiet. It was medicated into a nap time apparently. It happened about now every day. He carefully checked his legs then got up and snuck over to the bathroom. No alarms going off so he could sneak out. He got into a pair of sweats that were in his drawer and a t-shirt, then his sneakers that were in the bathroom because they stunk for a bit. His wallet was easily grabbed. His bag of belongings was in a drawer.

He glanced outside. The guards were talking with the lone pretty nurse on the floor. He snuck out and down the stairs, wincing when someone yelled they had seen him out of the room. He hurried down and outside, going to the bus stop near the hospital. One was due by soon but he limped up the block to catch it further up. Anywhere but here was good enough. Then he could switch to the bus near Dawn's college.

***

Xander looked up from his cheerios when the door opened. "Who are you?" the guard demanded, hand on his weapon. "No, don't move, Dawn."

"I'm Xander."

"Who?"

She shoved him out of the way and came in to hug him. "Did you escape?"

"Yup. The nurse said I couldn't get out of there and the guards were all amused that I'm paranoid about my safety." He gave her a look. "It was like I was a prize of some sort. So I escaped the bed full of poky things."

"That's fine. There's food, Xander."

"I don't want anything heavy, Dawn. The antibiotics are making me sick." He looked at the guard. "I'm the guy that's training the slayers in Africa." The guard huffed. "I'm also like her big brother."

She nodded. "He is. He threatens my boyfriends even better than my sister does."

He licked his spoon. "Darcy told me higher ups are asking about how to divert and suck up excess energy when it comes out."

"Shit," she muttered. He nodded. "Well, maybe I'll transfer colleges then." She walked into the kitchen. "I'm making rice and stuff for dinner."

"Eat whatever you want, Dawn. I've had meals for the day." She shot him a dirty look but he just shrugged it off. "Sorry but not in the mood to eat."

"We'll figure it out." She smiled at her guard. "Rice and stuff?"

"That's fine, ma'am." He looked at Xander. "How did you get past the alarms?"

"What alarms?" Xander asked. "The only one I saw was the ADT thingy and it was off when I got in here. Then again, I did a bug search and put them in the freezer for her." She found the baggie and tossed them over.

"I recognize a few of those. One's ATF. One's DEA. I have no idea why." He called that in. He came out. "They're worried that you're gathering weapons like your friend there," he told her.

Xander shook his head. "I'm out. After the last few things, I'm so out." Dawn hugged him around the head then got back to fussing. "You learned really well from Andrew, Dawnie." She smirked at him. "I'm only inhabiting your couch for the night. Then I'll go find somewhere to hide on vacation. I have a few ex's I could probably still trust."

She snorted. "Yeah, right," she said dryly. "Not likely!" He rolled his eyes. "You, rest. We'll figure out where you're supposed to be hiding."

"I think right now it's anywhere away from the people who wanted to keep me," Xander quipped back. "Because the nurses were acting like I'd never get out of there and so were the guards."

The Secret Service guy shook his head and asked for orders about him. "They want us to send you back to the hospital."

"No. Thank you anyway." The guy repeated that, shaking his head. "I'm a big enough boy that I can go hide somewhere warm, sunny, and with girls who might pity cuddle me." The guy repeated that and shook his head. "Why not?"

"They found a serious anomaly that they're worried about. We wanted to know about the radiation."

"Hellmouth taint," Dawn corrected with a smile. "It loves him. It cuddles him. It tries to use him as a symbiot holder a few times with the energy."

The guard winced but repeated that. They were not happy. "Can it be weeded out?"

"No," Xander said. "I'm still carrying some from Sunnydale."

"It made you glow and screwed up an x-ray machine, Mr. Harris."

Xander grinned. "Yeah, I've had it do that before. I can go to Cleveland and it'll reach out to cuddle me. That's why I'm hardly ever in town."

The guard nodded, walking off talking to his boss. He came back. "Can we have someone who studies energy look you over? It'd mean a vacation to New York."

"I've met the Avengers guys before and Darcy Lewis is a great friend. We hung out on our last mutual vacation when we ran into each other."

"That's wonderful." He smiled. "Dr. Banner's in town."

"Sure. I don't mind him."

"Thank you. We'll take you where he is tomorrow."

"Isn't it more quiet and safer for me if I just go?"

"No," the guard said bluntly. "Because two of your ex's are in town and we don't want to tempt them to do anything stupid."

Xander stared at him, smiling some. "That's one way to get pity cuddles." The guard glared. "Dangerous ones like me."

"Uh-huh." He stepped back, calling in that he'd go along with their plan in the morning. He could watch both of these two tonight. They weren't inclined to do anything but maybe watch some bad tv.

***

"What exactly is a hellmouth?" Dr. Banner asked the next morning when Xander walked into the room they were using.

"Hmm, portal," he said, almost moaning it.

"Are you now Homer Simpson?" he asked sarcastically.

"No coffee. Dawn drinks tea." He stared at him. "Still sleepy. Sorry."

"That happens to the best of us. I've seen some really sleep deprived people in my recent years." He pointed at a chair. Xander sat and let him look him over. "What does a hellmouth do?"

"It's a rip that can be opened into a portal to various hell dimensions. Which, really definitional."

Banner frowned. "It is?"

"Yeah. One has no music. One has no shellfish."

"Okay, so that's a matter of definition. I'm sure there's one without science that I'd consider hell."

"Six or seven probably. In some, humans took over. In some, demons took over. In a few they live together." He shrugged then winced.

"Is this plane considered one?"

"To some, all planes are."

"Good to know. So this hellmouth?"

"The thing that opens now and then in Cleveland, now, and formerly in Sunnydale, to spill out demons and things?"

"The hole. We didn't know if the hole had a name."

"Yes it does and each time I go to Cleveland it reaches out for me like I'm a comfort snuggle."

"Why?"

"I sucked up so much from Sunnydale's."

"Can that be weeded out like other radiation?"

"You're talking science to a weapons guy, Dr. Banner. We have no idea about that stuff."

"Some do," he said with a smirk.

"Yeah but I'm not one. I passed biology because Willow puked on my frog."

"Oh. All right." He took a few readings from the machine he hooked Xander to. "You're still radiating."

Xander looked then grimaced and concentrated. He patted his throat. "I had a necklace with a pretty blue stone. That held that in."

"It broke in Africa. The remains were in your clothes bag," the agent with them said. "Another one of us is getting it from the hospital. The nurses said they were sorry for freaking you out."

Xander looked at him. "Yes, she did." Banner smiled. "They were acting like they were going to keep me. I'm not the Xander kitty. I can't be owned. Petted, fed, played with, but not owned."

"I've had a few that wanted to pet me," Bruce said. He got to work on the energy study. "Does this do anything to your body?"

"Not unless it's helped me be majorly stubborn?" He shrugged and winced again. "I've only gotten harder and tougher as things happened. That's not the hellmouth taint. That's just...life."

"I can see why." He looked his chest and back over. "You should still be there."

"Yeah but I'm not ownable."

"They said he almost got caught by the guards on the hallway but they were chatting up a pretty nurse so he managed to make it to the stairwell and they couldn't find him by the time he got downstairs."

"They headed the wrong way. I took the bus," Xander said. The guard shook his head. "I still don't have my full wallet on me. Thankfully I had a few bucks in there from my candy begging in my patrol wallet." He grinned. "I've had to escape before."

"I've heard. Don't do it from your protectors. Then we can't help protect you."

Xander looked at him. "They were acting like I'd never get to leave too."

"We'll figure that out later. Someone would like a report on what started that battle."

"We have no idea," Xander admitted. "I got woken up out of a sound sleep by the phone screaming at me. I had missed a prior call. One demon appeared and was demanding tribute. We showed up and it called the others. I had to get help by asking Giles to please send a few slayers. We fought. I used all my artillery I'd been able to grab however, and most of the military's. They had to send for more twice and the guys were looking nervous like they'd have to start pulling out things they knew wouldn't work if they had to go back a third time.

"We finally got them down. We went to get injuries treated, and I complained a lot that I only needed stitches. Half the blood on me was someone else's. The girls freaked a bit though so fussing did commence again. Then we got attacked while they were stitching me. The military guys fled from the flying thing and were trying to get stuff. Screaming started when the wings sprouted extra heads with sharp and pointy teeth. Instead, me and the girls took them on to protect the other injured people and the staff. And they were definitely after me that time. They ripped the top off the trailer for the traveling surgical unit."

"So no idea if it was a planned event since it happened in a few other places?"

"It did?"

"Everyone's fine," Bruce said. "Outside of Buffy's concussion."

"Oh, yeah. Darcy told me about that."

Bruce looked in his eyes. "Speaking of."

"Not my first."

"Your third?"

"My ...maybe fifteenth?"

"You know how boxers who get a lot of head trauma start to have problems?" Bruce asked him. Xander nodded. "Are you?"

"Quite possibly. Especially since the last one came with a skull fracture. I haven't asked. They'd make me quit protecting the minis and no one else is doing it."

Bruce sighed but nodded. "I get that. Your people really do need more field people." Xander nodded. "I heard some agents applied."

"And half got weeded out for being HYDRA in disguise. The rest are in training and they'll be out in two years. Then I've already told Giles I'm taking one with me to train with the girls so they get used to them."

"That's a good timetable. What if you need to retire sooner?" Bruce asked.

Xander shook his head. "Then I'd better be dead."

"Got it. Well, maybe you can train them sooner?"

"Giles said they have to learn this other stuff first. Though he did say they were all warned not to turn into me. He still thinks I got possessed by some action star."

"Not even Hollywood could do some of the stuff you've done, Harris." Xander smiled at that compliment. "Let's get back to this." He got back to discovering the real levels of Xander's radiation poisoning. It was amusing that it went up when a Xander ex broke in to cuddle and fuss over him. Bruce cleared his throat. "I'm working on his hellmouth taint. Can you fuss over him in a bit please, Miss?"

"Of course I can, Dr. Banner. I worried about that in the past. I seem to draw it from him." She looked at the machines then him. "Are you all right?"

He shrugged and winced. "I could use a few weeks off with pity cuddling."

"I can do dinner."

"I'm not really up to eating yet. Sorry but I hurt too much to eat anything heavier than cheerios."

"I get that. I had that when I broke my clavicle." She cuddled him, making him relax again. "Where are you staying, Xander?"

"Dawn's couch." He grinned. "She has cheerios and milk."

"That's sweet of her. I'll go with you. Dawn could use some real woman time too since her last friend tried to sacrifice her." Xander growled. She kissed him on the temple, making him calm down and cuddle her.

Bruce let it happen because it changed all his readings. He glanced at the guard, who was texting his boss. They could handle things and Xander might end up a bit less insane than usual.

***

That night's guard looked at them. "I'm told I'm to disarm Mr. Harris before I let him go anywhere."

"I'm dangerous in many ways and hell no," Dawn quipped with a grin. "Or on him." The guard stared at her. She stared back. "What if they come for him again?"

"That's why he's getting a guard."

"Sure, and the guards can take out demons?" Xander asked. "That's why I'm in this stunning shape I'm in right now." The guard stepped back while shuddering. "Exactly. Beyond that, where am I going?"

"To the lab?"

"Not that I've heard. Banner said he'd see me in a few weeks to see how the hellmouth taint had lessened when I wasn't being given pity cuddles."

"Awww," Dawn said with a grin.

"Sonya."

"Super awww. She didn't seem like the pity cuddle type. Tie you down and make you scream but not pity cuddles." Xander grinned.

"We don't think anyone's going to show up to bother him tonight but we're very certain it won't be anything weird," the agent said.

"Did we slip realms when we came home?" Xander asked. "There's never not something weird going on."

"Especially since I've got to go work with the healers tonight," Dawn agreed. Xander smiled at her. "You can nap. I know my snoring kept you up." He shook his head. "I heard you moving."

"That's pain, Dawn. Sorry I woke you."

She came over to hug him. "I'm sorry you go so hurt but thank you for taking it so the girls didn't." He cuddled her back. She got free with a grin. "I've got ten more pages to read and then I'm going to the healers to let them suck off the magic I don't use and take more potions lessons." She got back to it, brining her book with her while she changed clothes into something more comfortable. She usually sweated when she worked with them. She came out pulling up her hair, grabbing a fun reading book. "You, nap. I'll be home in about three hours." The guard stared at her. "I work with the healers at least twice a week. They're expecting me. I might even be late right now." She grabbed her keys. "Later, guys."

"Miss Summers, you're not supposed to go anywhere without me and we'd have to wait while an agent came to sit with Mr. Harris." He stopped her from moving.

She carefully pried the hand off her wrist. "The apartment has protections on it. Xander's safe here. No one is going to touch me at the healer's clinic. It's sacred, safe space. The only one's who've tried it were HYDRA. Sorry but this is an obligation and the other guys all knew this. They should've told you." She glanced at the clock. "I'm late and they depend on me for the extra energy to heal injuries. So decide, dude." She walked off, going down the stairs. She sent a text message to her usual guard guy, who complained about that but said she was right about that one being weird and anti-demon. She heard him following but that was fine. She ran into someone who was bleeding. "Sam," she sighed, making him straighten up. "You okay?"

"Just a mugger," he said, holding his side. "Why are you out tonight?"

"Healers." She smiled. "C'mon. We can at least bandage it for you." He nodded, walking with her. The guard huffed. Dawn looked back. "The guy works with Steve Rogers. I'm pretty sure he's okay for me to talk to." Sam laughed but nodded. They walked into the clinic. "Can I bandage his side?" she asked.

"Where were you?" the nurse demanded. She pointed back at the guard. "Oh, them. You, wait out here. Falcon, we'll gladly bandage it for you. Dawn, she's got someone having an egg laying problem." Dawn hurried back to help. The clinic's bouncer stopped the guard from going back there. "We'd never hurt Dawn. She's a godsend of help for our tired, overworked healers." She got the bandages to treat Sam's side for him then gave him a peppermint candy so he could go home happier.

Back at the apartment, Xander was getting out of the handcuffs he had been put in. When a senior agent showed up to bitch, Xander let him unlock him so they could chat about this new guy's problems. He agreed that the guard had a problem and they went to the clinic to talk to Dawn. The nurse's eyes went wide when Xander walked in.

"Don't worry. Not here for treatment. He's here to talk to Dawn about her guarding plan."

"There's an egg delivery problem. It'll probably be an hour before she's free, Xander." She looked at him. "Would you like to see the healer?"

He shook his head. "Too many head injuries and just bruised. As long as I'm not attacked at Dawn's house I'm good." He grinned. "I escaped from the hospital because they were making 'going to keep you' noises."

She nodded. "Even I can tell you're injured."

"I'm just escorting. They are not to worry about me." She nodded, making that note. He winced at the scream of pain. "She can suck off some of my hellmouth taint if it'll help with that."

"It may. Let me check." She went to tell the healer that and got permission. It'd warp the egg some but not that much if they filtered through Dawn. They had taught her how to do that a few months back. Xander limped in and let Dawn take his hand. The healer sucked out of him and it was better. The egg finally came out, only mildly cracked, and the mother got healed from the hard delivery.

Xander looked. "Doesn't she have another egg?"

"Yes. It's normal sized."

"She's unswelling."

The healer looked and nodded, taking that one as well. Xander helped move them to the incubator that was set up. The mother was panting as she came down from the pain. "Thank you, Xander," the healer said, kissing him on the cheek. "You should go sit down."

"I just escorted the senior agent here so he could talk to Dawn about the present guard guy who thought it wasn't demons that I got injured by. You're not to waste energy on me." He stared at her then smiled. "Unless I'm dying." She patted him on the cheek then moved to fuss over the mom with Dawn's help. "Let me go sit down like a good boy." He took Dawn's book with him.

Dawn rolled her eyes but smiled at the healer. "He just showed up while I was class. Freaked out my guard of that day." The healer laughed. "They've been looking at his hellmouth taint today."

"That could be a good thing." They got the mother settled and moved to look at the others.

Dawn went to talk to the senior agent once she had cleaned herself up. "Sorry but the mother would've died."

"Why can't they go to a regular hospital? They'd have medicines and things."

"Because regular hospitals won't treat anyone who doesn't look like a human and if they find you're a partial human they'll kill you." A few of the nurses nodded. "One's even tried that on Xander thanks to the mermaid taint."

"Oh. I didn't know it was still that bad."

Dawn nodded. "It'll probably be decades before it's better."

"That's good to know." He stared at her. "You texted your former guard?"

"This one's a bit...weird. He's very anti-demon in weird ways. Not hating on them but 'you're delusional by believing in them' ways. He tried to stop me from coming in to help tonight."

"He said he wanted you to wait."

"It's on my list of weekly obligations and I was running late thanks to studying."

"Why do you come here? You're not listed as a healer."

"I have magic I can't use. I lend it to the healer so she can heal others."

"Oh. That's nice of you." Dawn smiled. "I saw it was on your weekly schedule twice a week." She nodded. "And you're right, he's a bit weird. Your housemate got locked to the couch in handcuffs."

"Xander's would've normally messed him up for that. It shows how bad he's feeling."

"I think that's reasonable with some of his past."

"One of his ex's showed up to give him pity cuddles earlier." She smiled. "I know he's planning on going on vacation soon."

"That could be handy. I'm sure you're a bit tired of having him there?"

"I love Xander but yeah, can't really masturbate with him on the couch. I had a crush on him at one time but now he's firmly in big brother territory. He wouldn't care, but I'd mind."

The agent looked at her. "Must you do that when our agent's around?"

"Not like I'm not twenty. It's my hand or a club."

"Your hand. We don't have to rescue you from it or do a background check on it." Dawn smiled at him. "Some of your guards are wondering why you need us."

"The regional director guy has that file but it's sealed."

"I know. I'm one who responded to the attack on you." He gave her a pointed look.

"All that comes here." She waved a hand. The nurse caught it and pricked her finger to take her blood sugar. "I'm okay."

"You're a bit low. Get some juice." Dawn smiled and grabbed some from the fridge up the hall. The nurse smiled at the agent. "We haven't minded any of the other ones but this one's all but pulled out a bible to tell us we're playing dress up and it's against his religion."

"I'll talk to him."

"I can probably handle it tonight," Dawn said.

"No you may not," the agent ordered.

"We heard there's someone looking to court you, Dawn," the nurse said with a smile.

"Um, no. Not into a permanent thing and they're probably bad for me. Buffy would *so* nag after I ragged on her past dates." She sipped the juice, making the nurse laugh. "Is she dating someone stakeable again?"

"Of course. Spike's still around." Dawn rolled her eyes and moaned, shaking her head. "We look at it oddly too. I know the one looking for you is higher."

"The last one like that is why I have guards," Dawn quipped. "Thanks to Kennedy." The nurse hissed. "Yeah, that's what started off that." She finished the juice and tossed the bottle into the proper recycling bin. "I'm sorry I freaked him out so much."

"No, it's not your fault. This is a good bit of community work and it's important for you to do." He smiled. "We'll figure it out and probably remove him in the morning."

She smiled. "I've got potions homework tonight. The head healer's already told me that."

He nodded. "I'm sure you're doing wonderfully in that subject. Let me go talk to him. If I have to, I'll get a replacement down while you're here."

"Thank you." She hugged him and went to help the healer, who was heaving in the bathroom. "Are you with egg?" she demanded, smiling at her.

"Purging the last of the hellmouth taint from him. It's stronger now."

"He's not wearing his blocking necklace. It broke during that battle."

"That explains much." She cleaned herself up and went to see her next patient. Tonight was a light night thankfully. Especially since that guard had scared a few patients off. Xander was helping with one in the waiting area. She knew that one. "Xander?" she asked quietly.

He grinned. "He just needed bandages. I can do this."

"Thank you." She looked at him. "If you need to rest, we can do that."

"He's wanted by the government," the lower agent sneered.

Xander looked at him. "I'm pretty sure Captain America has first claim on him."

"I can't go to Steve. They'll come for him," the guy said.

Xander smiled. "I can be a diversion. HYDRA still hates me." The senior agent stared at him. "Wasn't that who put me in the hospital that was going to be exploded?"

"Yes it was."

Xander nodded. "Were they the investigative group?"

"Second one. The first is down. We're still working on the other one."

Xander calmed the guy down. "Calm down. It's more likely a demon would show up to kill me since I'm injured. I can protect you until we can get you somewhere safe. All right?" He nodded once. "In fact, I know the slayer in New York very well and we can go visiting since it's got protections on the house. They don't want to mess with Gloria so they won't be going there."

"I... why are you helping me?"

"Because I'm the White Knight of Sunnydale," he said with a smile. "It's what I do. It's why I've been hunting demons since I was sixteen. It's why I've had something like fifteen concussions." The guy winced. "Apparently your buddy was my prototype," he said dryly, cracking him up. He nodded and smiled at that joke. "Beyond that, Gloria would love to drool on you. She won't pinch or anything but she might admire."

"Admiring is fine but I don't think I could handle someone touching."

"Sometimes it's the only thing you really need but you can't have it because it'll set you off worse," Xander agreed. "Which sucks. There's no way out of that loop." Bucky nodded. "C'mon. Dawn?" She came to the window. "I'm going to take him to Gloria."

"Tell her I said hi. You know you could stay."

He grinned. "Yeah but I'm crimping your relationship with your vibrators. Anya would scowl at me for that." She came out to give him a hug. "Be a good girl. You'll see me in a few months." She nodded. He nodded, taking Bucky with him. He called an ex. "Claudette, I'm in DC and need to go see Gloria in New York. Is anyone going that way that we can bum a ride with?" He grinned. "Thanks." He hung up and called him. "Philip, can I bum a ride to New York for me and a buddy. No, my wallet's somewhere. No idea. They evacuated me back to the US after that last battle again. Thanks, man. Yeah, just the two of us. No, I have no ID or anything. He probably has something but not sure what. That's great. Thank you." He hung up and a few minutes later there was a reservation. He showed him and nodded, getting the guy to follow him to the train station. "Quietly traveling. Takes longer but it's mostly safer," he said quietly.

"People get on and off."

"Yeah but it's a finite limit of them and we can set up a nice seating area that's safer. I'll let you pick the seats."

"Thanks, kid."

"Not a problem." He got them onto the train, which was leaving in a half-hour, and they found a good set of seats to hide in. Only one person got on that Bucky recognized but so did Xander so he distracted her and begged her for a candy bar by teasing her into an orgasm. She didn't even spot Bucky before she got off in Philadelphia.

***

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