What Causes to Become. by Voracity2

What Causes to Become.

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Xander wandered out to open up the door, blinking at the guys. "Philip thought you'd be here tomorrow." He let them in then closed the door. "He's due to be released tomorrow. Coffee, guys?"

"It's late. Can we crash?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, sure." He pointed. "The couch has two pull out sections." He grinned. "I've spent time on them. They're not great but it's comfortable enough. Bathroom's there." He pointed. "I'm going back to bed."

"Thanks, Harris," Dean said.

"I'm Xander. Philip's on resident rounds, which mean sleep deprivation." He climbed into bed and fell back asleep.

Sam and Dean pulled out the couches, already made up, and used the bathroom then went to bed. It was nice and safe here. The twins had protections up, though Dean didn't see any salt wards. He got up to put some. He spotted an imp and kicked it so it fled. Dean looked in there. He'd mention it to Xander in the morning. The guy looked exhausted. He laid back down and went to sleep until Philip dragged himself in at seven. Dean sat up, looking at him. "I saw an imp."

"The magical protections won't guard against them or we'll have problems casting in here." He blinked at them. "He's on 2 south." They nodded. "He can go home any time after noon." He yawned. "It sucks being a resident." He wandered toward his bedroom, climbing in beside his twin. "My bed. Move, asshole."

Xander hugged him. "Mine has the leaky roof spot the landlord hasn't fixed. You rest, Philip. I've got to go to work." Philip was already snoring. Xander got up and took a shower then came out to make breakfast, leaving some in the fridge for Philip. He did feed the two hunters making up the couches again with a grin. "I'm off to be an engineer." He walked out nibbling his egg sandwich.

Dean grinned at Sam. "Some year we'll turn into them."

"Too late," Sam quipped back. They made coffee and settled in to eat quietly. Philip had looked like hell and clearly needed a rest. They'd seen stuff on residents working long hours. Philip seemed to prove it. Someone pounded on the door. Sam got up to get it. "Yes, sir?" he asked.

"You're not one of the twins."

"Philip's crashed after a shift and Xander just went to work," Dean said. "We're friends here to pick up a buddy in the hospital after losing a fight."

"Oh, that's fine. Where's this leak?"

"Xander said something about his room having one," Sam said. He got out of the way. The two demon dogs following the guy had to stop at the doorway, staring at him. He stared back. "You're cute, dogs."

The landlord snorted again, shaking his head. "They're my sister's. They're guarding her baby because it's a strong witch."

"I've seen a few of those," Dean said.

The landlord smiled. "Figured you knew what the boys did in their off-time, guys." He walked into the empty bedroom and looked up. "That's got to be her spare bathroom," he muttered. "I don't know why." He left, going up there. Then he came through the floor with the tub and the dead body in it.

Dean called Xander. "Come back. Your room is being soaked by the dead body in the tub." He hung up. Sam was checking on Philip, who hadn't woken up. The officers that showed up didn't wake him either. One looked at him then at them. "He's a resident."

"Oh, one of those shifts. We've seen some after thirty-six on." The landlord had gotten the water stopped at least. Xander came back to handle his room's stuff. The officer looked at him. "You were the one that saw the laurel flowers on that guy in the park," he said.

Xander grinned. "My minor was forensics. It meant I got to share science classes with my twin." He looked at her. "Strangled." He pointed. "It's still around her throat and you can't get it that tight on your own. My sometimes roommate way back when had an unfortunate porn habit." The officers nodded but the ME agreed when he got there. "Guys, I can help you move the tub. I used to work construction before college." He helped the landlord move the tub outside for them. Then the landlord went to fix the damage while Xander shifted his damp stuff out of there to dry out. The bed was smashed to pieces and the mattress had been nicely absorbent but still a lot of water.

Dean and Sam told Xander they were going and went to the hospital. Dean found Castiel's room from the front desk and went up there with Sam following. He walked in and grinned. "You better?"

"Quite a lot. Philip has an excellent and delicate touch for healing." He stared at them. "Thank you for picking me up, Dean."

"Not a problem, Castiel." Castiel got checked out and they took his bag of clothes, all nicely cleaned, and his bag of wallet and things. They helped him down to the Impala. "Where are we heading?" Dean asked as he started the car. There was a bright light then they were somewhere else.

"Cleveland," Sam quipped. Dean and Sam got out, helping Castiel out. He was still sore. "Hi," he said to the slayer that answered the door. "We got brought here."

"Buffy, Willow dragged the two hotty hunters so you can flirt," she yelled, letting them in. "Where were you guys?"

"By the twins," Dean said. "Cas was in the hospital."

"Aww, poor guy. Philip's nice but he's mean as a doctor." She let them have the living room.

Dean texted Xander to let him know. Xander texted back they had found the bomb that had been on their engine in the parking lot right before it exploded. "That's a good thing to know," Dean said, showing Sam. Who grimaced. Xander sent a text it wasn't demonic in any sense or angelic in any sense. It had been a gang member who wanted to prove he was a badass so he had picked them because the car was shiny and old fashioned.

Dean nodded. "Hopefully they caught the little bastard." He sent that back and got a 'yeah, he was watching and throwing a fit that you disappeared into thin air, the cops think he's high' back. Dean sent back a thank you and let it go. He looked at Buffy when she came down the stairs. She had done her hair and had on real clothes, including heels. "You didn't have to go to that much trouble for us."

She waved a hand at them. "School meeting later with the principal. I never get to dress up these days so I decided it was a good day to do it." She sat down. "Willow sent you here, she felt something going on around you that was evil."

"Gang kid," Dean said. "Bomb on our engine."

"She wouldn't have pinged to that. So probably you," she told Castiel.

"We had a battle."

"We heard. Two of them showed up in our backyard begging for help. They're still at the hospital. In the mental ward for talking about being angels." Castiel shook his head with a sigh. "Most likely there was a demon there to get you since you were sick."

"It's possible. The hospital had a few half and full demons on staff but they were pleasant to me," Castiel said.

Buffy grinned. "They are some of the most fussy nurses. One of ours is too." Giles walked in looking pissed off. "What's up, Giles?"

"Nothing much. Britney just got suspended for fighting against a demon that came up to try to eat her and others. We'll have to talk to that principal as well."

"That's self defense," Buffy said.

"Zero tolerance policy," Giles shot back. Buffy rolled her eyes. "Boys, thank you for coming. Today's a bit of a zoo I'm afraid."

"It's not a problem," Dean said with a grin. "We were in New Jersey."

"Willow brought them to protect them," Buffy said.

"That's fine. If you want, you can work on training things with the older girls." They nodded. "We really must dash. The principal's a prig even by nobility standards." He walked Buffy out. She smiled and waved.

Dean grinned at his brother then at the slayer peeking around the door. "Want to spar with us?"

"Yes please. It means we get to touch manhoof that's pretty." She grinned.

"Sure, but no pinching this time," Sam said. He and Dean got up to go to the gym. They were excellent girls and very good at sparring. It was a great workout. Even if the girls did try to grope. A lot.

***

Philip blinked awake at the nudge to his foot, staring at his twin. "Is it tomorrow?"

"Yup, and a bit more." He held up the food. "Eat?"

"Please, yes." He sat up with a groan. "How long did I sleep?"

"Thirty-one hours and a few minutes." He stared at him. "You're also running a fever."

"Post healing crash?" He checked himself as he ate, then sighed. "Flu." Xander grinned. "Anything huge happen?"

"Dean and his bro took Castiel with them, and Willow took them to Cleveland." Philip nodded. "Our upstairs neighbor was murdered in her tub; that leak was her tub overflowing. It crashed into my bed. The landlord was not amused." Philip almost choked. Xander nodded. "Yeah, it's that bad. But they think they know who did it."

"Her loud boyfriend who screamed at her?"

"His girlfriend they were fighting about."

"Charming," he mouthed then stuffed it again. "I need to get meds."

"I already called you off tomorrow and the next day because you were sick and running a fever. Cuddy complained until I told her I couldn't wake you and it had been twenty-six hours at that point. She came over to check, and you didn't wake up, so she gave you until Saturday off and you're still ahead of hours." He walked off. "Dinner's in about an hour."

"Thanks, Xander." He got up to take a shower and came out naked, heading for his room. "Does that mean I'm sharing my bed?" He glanced in Xander's bedroom. It was bare. He looked at his twin. "Storage area?"

"New place." He grinned. "I found us a nice place. It's rent to own. It's near where you thought we should set up. It has an old shop underneath the apartments on top. We can both split the space up easily enough. Used to belong to a few different types of shops. Already has half the plumbing down there you'll need. Cheap rent. The landlord said it's cursed."

"Great. Just up our alley," Philip quipped. He got dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, coming back out. Xander handed him water. "Thank you."

"Not like I'm going to leave you that vulnerable." He stared at him. "What sort of twin would I be?"

"The sort that left me with that hooker?"

"Didn't we agree not to talk about that? I didn't *leave* you with her. I was handling something huge and couldn't break away to come rescue you at that time. Besides, she babied you."

"She tried to put me in a diaper."

"That's still babying." Philip snorted but nodded. "I still saved you the next day too."

"You did. I was ungrateful but thank you." He blew a kiss at him. "I won't mention the one that was trying to force us to screw either."

"At least she had a plan," Xander said. He got things together and set the table so they could eat. Philip needed to gain back about twenty pounds. Residency was really stressing but thankfully nearly over. Just a few more weeks and his brother could have a normal life.

Of course, they'd probably have a battle before then. Anytime things were getting closer to normal, one appeared randomly somewhere.

***

Philip showed up for his last day looking dapper, smiling at the nurses. "I shall miss you all until I start doing admitting privilege rounds." They smiled back. He looked around. "Am I missing a meeting?"

"They're all being yelled at about their hours. I think you got exempted like a few others."

Philip nodded, walking toward where they held resident meetings. He knocked and leaned in. "No one told me I was to attend, Madam. Am I?"

She looked at him. "Which one are you?"

"Philip Harris."

She checked her list and shook her head. "No, you're not behind on hours."

He smiled. "I did try not to be. Thank you. Let me go see patients then. I'll miss some of you until I see you on admitting privilege rounds, people." A few waved and one smiled at him. He left, going back to the ER to log in and get to work. One of the nurses gave him a cupcake. "Thank you. I won't even share it with my evil twin because his internship stops tomorrow." She laughed so he walked off nibbling the nice cupcake. He had a few routine things to handle and one confusing thing that the lab was going to have to solve so he got that started and called in a senior doctor to handle the strange thing.

It had to be strange. It wasn't gas pains. He wasn't pregnant. He didn't have a known tumor or ulcer. The bloodwork came back without signs of an infection. He got stopped by the doctor and told him why he had summoned his grumpy self. The doctor agreed it couldn't be any of those, though he did give him an odd look for the pregnancy test, then went in there to look at things. Turns out the guy did have a small tumor starting on a kidney and that was causing a lot of problems as well as some light liver damage. So they got him referred to the right doctors.

Philip made it to lunch without anything too horrible. After lunch he was pleased with himself for managing a real meal. Then he went outside to check on his car. No damage yet. He went back in and logged back in. He was happy until the hour before he was due to be done. Then something huge blocked out the sun outside the ambulance doorway and roared loud enough to rattle windows.

Philip sighed, looking at the nurses. "No, you go handle that like whatever you did with the ones in that film," the head nurse ordered with a point. "You can do your last hour later, Harris."

"Yes, ma'am," he said with a perky smile. "Of course, my sword's in my car." She winced. He leaned out. "Can't you manage not to do this for an hour please? I have one hour left of work. And get out of the way of the ambulance! I need to help them. We'll chat when I'm done in an hour. All right?" he asked with a smile. The demon glared and tried to swipe at him. "Don't make me do this. I'm in a good mood. You're ruining it." The demon tried again. Philip sighed, taking off his jacket and handing it to the half-demon nurse on shift. "Hold that for me please and call my evil twin if I should fall? My phone's in my pocket."

She nodded, clutching it. "I can do that, Knight," she said quietly.

He smiled. "That's really more Xander's title. Mine's usually 'damn it, it's him'," he said dryly, smirking a tiny bit. He looked at the guards. "Know my car?" One nodded. Philip tossed him his keys. "Red bag and sword in the trunk, under the blanket. Ignore the two guns, they won't work. Don't bring the shiny sword, I need the other one." The guard nodded. Philip walked out, walking off shaking his head. "Get away from the ER, demon. Before I smite you harder!" The demon growled and followed him. The guard got what he needed and threw it at Philip. He put the red bag down carefully, pulling out something to look at and put on. Then he picked up the sword. "Thank you for letting me properly arm myself."

"No fun if you're not," the demon snarled. He sniffed. "Prey."

"Not really." Philip took off his vest, showing the dueling harness underneath. "C'mon then." He waved at him. The demon stared. Philip smirked. "Did you think I was Xander?"

The demon reared up, staring at him. "You are not Xander."

"No, I'm Philip, his twin." He smirked and attacked. The demon screamed and tried to run but Philip shot him with his specially prepared pistol from his back waistband. The demon went up in a huge flame. The guards had fire extinguishers and used them once they couldn't see the demon's form. Philip shrugged, staring at the mess he had made. "Next?" he called, looking up. "Before I'm less amused?" Two more demons that had been hiding showed up. "I knew I saw one of you when I checked my car." They lunged and he cut one then spun and got the other, letting himself drop into battle and dueling mode. The demons weren't easy but they died.

Then the one that was waiting behind him got shot with the other pistol. It screamed and Philip coldly beheaded it. "Thank you as well, dear." He stared at the mess and sighed. He put the guns back and took off the protection, putting it back into the bag. He took it and the sword to the car, taking his keys from the trunk once he had them inside. His sword could be more than wiped down by his button up shirt later. He'd have to use rubbing alcohol on it to get everything spotless again.

He walked inside, taking back his vest from one of the guards that had picked it up, then put it back on. He smiled at the nurse. "Let me clean up. I'll be right back for my jacket, love." He went to do that. He came out less messy and took his jacket back, putting it on and looking at the staring people. "What? They think I'm pretty." A few whimpered. He smiled. "Now, who's next on my list to help feel better? I promise the sword's in the car."

One of the guards looked at the other then at him. "Do you always wear that thing under your vest?"

"My dueling harness? Yes. It's rather handy." He smiled. "Though one's best weapon is always their mind."

"Good point. The guns...."

"Dueling pistols with speciality bullets."

"Oh, okay." He nodded, walking off to make a report to the head of security. Who was in his office drinking from the bottle of heartburn medicine.

Philip smiled at the nurses. "Charts?" They handed over one and let him go help people. He smiled at the half demon child and human mother. "We're from Sunnydale," he said quietly, making her moan. "I'm only against those that are hurting others against their wills. Your daughter is adorable."

"It's a son."

"Really?" He looked at the form. "Hmm. Have to correct that." He made a note and smiled at the child. "What's wrong, precious?"

She pointed at her tummy. "I think I have worms. It's bad in there."

"Let's look." He had her lay down so he could feel around her stomach. "I think you do too. Hmm. There's something for that." He wrote out a note on his prescription pad, handing it to the mother. "The healer will have to mix it specially but she can do that." He wrote the address on the back. "She's very good and it's a fairly common problem. We see thousands of these a year." She nodded. "Let her help and if she's grumpy tell her I said you're doing just fine."

"I can do that. Some of them hate us."

"There's a lot of uptight creatures on this plane," he said. "I'll go with you later." She smiled and nodded. "Wait on me in the waiting area and I'll take you there." She nodded, doing the paperwork to leave and wait on him. He went to see the other patients he had then ran into Cuddy, smiling at her. "I tried to make it subtle."

"A sword is not subtle, Harris."

He shrugged. "They started it."

"I know. What is that thing?"

"What thing?"

"Under your vest."

"Dueling harness?"

"Okay. Why?"

"Because it comes in handy when you duel professionally like my twin and I have." He smiled. "We were champion for a few years." He walked around her. "I've got a few more to see then I'm taking one patient to a healer for a specific remedy."

"That's fine." She stared at him. "Someone filmed it. It's on youtube."

He snorted. "Yay. Like the last one, I don't talk to people who do things like that."

"Uh-huh. Are you going to file for admitting privileges?" He smiled at her and nodded. "Hand it to me personally."

"I know the one over that's partially ...scaled in her people's cases. I only care if they're hurting people against their wills, Dr. Cuddy. Really." He grinned and went to see his last two patients. Then he came out, logged out for a final time, smiling at the nurses. "You'll see me in a few months I'm sure." They smiled back. He took that family to the healer, getting a few glares. He stared at one. "Shut. Up." The demon shrank away from him. "Any good parent doesn't need your type of shit. It's not up to you about who breeds. Or else we'd all make sure you did not because you suck at it." The demon shuddered. He walked over to the nurse. "She's got belly worms."

"They happen a lot this time of year," the nurse said with a smile for the mother. "Sorry for the judgmental people."

"They happen all over," Philip said. "Even in regular hospitals. I got some for being such a snazzy dresser." The healer came out to stare at him. "Good evening."

"Harris."

"Healer to healer, I'm presenting the patient I saw earlier for her intestinal worms."

"You're a healer?" He touched her arm, making her shiver. "You are." He nodded with a smirk. "Oh, dear."

"Exactly. I find her quite a good mother who could use a heads up on the usual problems her daughter may experience." He stared at her.

"I can do that. She's not the only halfie we have in the area. The others have parents who were careless."

"I was at a bar and woke in the hospital," the mother said. "But I felt happy."

The healer nodded. "The father's people do that." She led them back, taking the prescription to look at. "That's easy enough to make. I'll show you how so you don't have to deal with idiots."

"Thank you, ma'am."

The healer looked at her. "There's plenty of hidebound purists out there in all types of beings."

"I've seen."

"So have I, even among yours."

"Them too. They tried to burn us in our apartment once."

The healer nodded. "It's a hard path you walk but hopefully she'll grow up fine." She got the stuff mixed, showing the mother and other things she'd need to be more secure. It could only help the child grow up better.

***

Xander walked in dusting off his shirt. "Two things just tried to get me in the parking lot thinking I was you."

"Sorry."

Xander looked at him. "I saw the youtube video. The boss got sent it by his wife. You leaned back too far."

"I had to, the footing was irregular on the gravel." He handed over a plate with a smile. "Only one more day for you."

"Sure, rub it in," he snorted, settling in to eat. "I checked on the construction permit. It'll be posted in a few days."

"That's wonderful. Then we can work on that and move so you have your own room again."

"I'll take the couch."

"I was thinking about partying tonight."

Xander pouted. "Party tomorrow so I can join in?"

"Sure." He smirked. Xander grinned back. They finished up and went back to making plans for the new building/office/medical practice.

"When is your jacket changeover ceremony?"

"Two days at two."

Xander wrote that down and made sure they had clean clothes for it. Then they went to sleep for the night. It was a good start to a new life.

***

Buffy got handed a laptop with that video pulled up. She was having a day off so watching movies on the couch. She watched it and sighed, handing it back to the watcher. "We know. The demons like to want Xander a lot." She looked at him. "He handled it just fine."

"That's...."

"I know," she interrupted. "Still, they handled it and they're good at that." She smiled. "That's why he used to back me up." He grimaced but stomped off to talk to Rupert. Buffy shrugged at the staring slayers. "Something attacked Xander or his twin."

They all nodded. They had heard it happened but they could handle it.

***

Xander was making a soda/milk/beer run when he ran into someone bleeding that he kind of knew. "Hey," he said. The guy looked at him. "I'm Xander, not Philip, but I can take you to him."

"Why?" he asked, holding his side.

"He's the doctor. I'm the engineer." The guy nodded. Xander ran in to get what he needed and came out, walking the guy back to their apartment a few blocks back. "Beloved, visitors," he called as he walked in.

"Damn and I have a friend in," he said, coming out. "Paul." He sat him in a chair, taking the shirt off him. Xander went to charm his date instead. "Xander, bring me my kit," he called. Xander brought it out and handed it over then went back to Philip's room. He smiled. "Sorry. What did it? Do we have any debris?"

"Not that I know of. Something that looked like an oversized werewolf with huge claws."

"Must've been Jacob. He's a local shape shifter and he's some kind of smaller bear as far as we could tell. He's usually peaceful. I wonder what happened this time."

The hunter stared at him. "Usually peaceful?"

"Yeah. The last time he wasn't, his girlfriend had been a ho. He got a bit mad because he had proposed to her the day before. He only scared her though." The hunter grimaced. "You tried to take him out for his pelt?"

"No. I saw him threatening some redheaded lady."

"Ah, his ex. She have the kid she swore was his that wasn't?"

"Yes," he complained. "She was calling it daddy."

"I'll talk to Jacob tomorrow. I'm astoundingly free for most of the day." He got to work cleaning the wound. "Thankfully his kind of shifter won't infect you so you won't change as well." The hunter nodded. Someone knocked. Philip tossed him his shirt on the way to the door, making sure he had it on before opening the door. "Yes?"

"Sir...." The officer looked over his shoulder. "There was apparently an altercation earlier. Are you performing medical treatment without a license?"

"I'm a doctor, Officer. Just finished my residency. I'm just now hearing about the altercation and why. Is Jacob all right and what was going on?" He lounged in the doorway, staring at them.

The other one winced. "You know about them?"

"Yes, I grew up around a number of them. Almost all of them peaceful until bothered," Philip said, staring at him. Then at the other officer.

"She was taunting him and trying to tell him she'd hurt the baby because he was a horrible being and had somehow sullied the baby."

"Ah, her ploy to get money again," Xander said as he came out. "Jacob and the baby all right?" The officers nodded. "Good. The bitch?"

"Arrested for child endangerment," the other officer said. "Who are you two?"

Xander grinned. "I'm Xander Harris. I backed up the slayer in Sunnydale for years." The officer went pale. "This is my happy twin, Philip. He's a doctor. I'm an engineer. We just got done with our internships."

The reasonable officer nodded. "We'd just like a statement." He looked at the hunter. "Jacob forgave you for it because he decided you were trying to protect the baby."

"I was. I thought he was threatening her and the kid."

"Jacob's scary over his kid. We all know it. Someone tried to talk to her in the park and ran when he started to sprout fur and fangs." He came in to get a statement while Philip finished cleaning the injuries. At the end, he looked at Philip. "You were the one that handled the ones at the ER." Philip nodded.

"I only got the ones that tried me in the parking lot," Xander said.

"They think me being a doctor means I'm weaker and nicer," Philip said with a smile. "They're very wrong." Xander nodded.

"I'm sure it's great. The Mayor wanted to know what that was about."

"They're trying to harm the slayers," Xander said.

"Slayers?"

"All those girls in LA? Their calling is called being a slayer. It's an ancient calling. It's not bloodline or anything but it's being *chosen* to be the one to handle things. Now they're all called due to a problem last year and were all needed for this most recent one."

The officer nodded, then shook his head. "Does it usually matter here?"

"No, the peaceful community here is great and calm," Philip said with a smile. "I talked to some of them recently. We only handle things that come for us. Or others if we see them attacking. Or apocalypse battles."

The officer nodded, making that note. "People are trying to figure all that out."

"Talk to Rupert Giles. He's the head Watcher right now and over all the slayers."

"Where is he?"

"Cleveland unless he's hiding in England," Xander quipped, smiling at him. "Giles is a bit camera shy."

"I can see why. Sure. Let me... the older guy at the battle?"

"Yes. Most of the remaining watchers sat home and bitched," Philip said, making the hunter shudder. "Because that's not how it has been done for the last few centuries. Unfortunately it went from the watchers helping the slayers to them being turned into tools. It's being changed back now."

"Grand." He stood up. "Thank you, sirs." He looked at the hunter. "The motel by the illegal doc is cheapest. It's by the car dealership with all the audis." He left, going to make that report to his boss and then to the mayor. Who was not amused but they all knew something was up with him.

Xander and Philip shrugged at each other, Xander texting Giles on his way back to their fun of the night. The hunter looked at Philip. "You two share a room?"

"No, the upstairs neighbor's tub fell with her dead body through the ceiling onto his bed. We're moving soon so we're timesharing the bed."

"That makes sense." He stood up. "Thanks, Harris."

"Not a problem. I'm not the evil me." He smiled. The hunter laughed but left them alone. Philip made them drinks and presented them with some then went to do an inventory of the supplies. They'd probably need some soon. Especially if the demons and angels got their plans together again.

***

Xander walked out to get the mail the next day, nodding politely at the guy in the bad suit that was in his way. "Yes, may I help you?"

"Mr. Harris?"

"One of."

"There's only one of you listed alive, sir."

"Really? Philip?" he called. Philip leaned out the window. He pointed. "He wanted to talk to you about your conception."

Philip stared at the agent. "Don't make me come down there." The agent stared, looking horrified. "I'm not in a pleasant mood. My twin stole my date last night. It left me an unhappy doctor."

The agent swallowed. "So there are two of you."

"Yes and we're magnificent at being twins," Xander quipped, getting the mail and going back upstairs. "Landlord's trying to raise the rent," he said as he walked in. Philip shut the window. They settled in to call him and tell him they were moving in about three months. Could they put it off since they were still unable to use that one bedroom due to the damage? They really did need to save some money or else they'd have to make some.

The agent called in for new rules and then went up to knock on their door. "The supervising agent over this region would like to talk to you both about what happened the other day and in LA this spring."

Xander pointed. "Cleveland. By the hellmouth. Bunch of girls. Few guys overseeing them, most of them are idiots who need to be brainwashed to start again. The head guy's name is Rupert Giles."

Philip nodded. "Because we're not officially affiliated anymore. We're starting this new life of ours and we're going to be setting up my medical practice and his engineering one shortly."

The agent stared at them. "We just want a report, boys."

Xander looked at him. "That's funny. No one wanted a report when we had something the level of a hell goddess show up a few years ago. Or when a true, old demon came out of his former human skin for our graduation." The agent blinked a few times, calling that in. "Tell him to talk to Rupert. We do not make statements for the slayers or the Council."

"Council?" he squeaked. His boss had done the same thing. The twins smiled and nodded. "Oh, okay. We've heard a bit about them."

"Blew up," Philip said. "By the same thing that sank our town."

"Thankfully since a lot of them saw the girls as expendable tools," Xander added, staring at him. He grinned. "If he really wants to know something he needs to talk to Rupert."

"I can tell him that, sirs. Then come back to you for your own reports." He left.

The twins shared a look and went to work on their new building. They knew what they needed. Xander had drawn up the plans. It wasn't that much work, just some plumbing installing and a few walls. Maybe a bit of light electrical work. They had done more than that when they had set up their original house in that other realm. Then their 'tower'.

***

Buffy came back from grocery shopping to find two agents sitting in a car. She sighed as she got out of the cab, opening the trunk then the door. "Come help me carry or don't eat and tell Giles we've got suits here." The girls did that and ran everything inside while Buffy paid the cabby. Then she disappeared into the house as well.

Giles came out, staring at the two suits. "Yes, gentlemen, can we help you?"

"Are you Rupert Giles?" one asked.

"I am. Why?"

"Is this where the International Council of Watchers now is, sir?" the second agent asked.

"Yes, and I'm in charge. Thankfully I've changed a lot of the stupid things from happening again. Why is this a concern?"

"We need reports on a few things," the first agent said. "Our supervisor would like to talk to you about them."

"I have my yearly physical tomorrow afternoon but the day after is mostly free, pending emergencies like having to visit a principal over something or the like."

Faith leaned out, looking at them. "Quit being so uptight. What did you want to know about? We'll gladly hand over files so you quit making the girls nervous. A few of them lived through attempts by their governments to grab them." She stared at them. "We don't need them nervous or worried you'll do the same damn thing."

"We're not looking to," the second agent said. "Miss Lehane, does the LA County probationary board know where you are?"

"Yup."

"Good." He smiled. "We'd love those reports before we come talk to him about things. We have no intention of confiscating the girls or anything else but things have been going on that is bothering the higher ups. They can't ignore it when videos show up on youtube about demon attacks."

"The twins?" she guessed.

"Not just them. How are there twins?" the first agent asked. "There's only one birth recorded."

Faith stepped out. "Willow was so deep in her grief she was going to make everyone feel it as they died. Xander stopped her. She nearly killed him and he had to beg for help. Which led to them taking a deal to stay out of one battle until asked so the demon could use them to stop his cohort's plans in favor of his. Which they've already stopped too." She smirked. "In return, he saved their lives by splitting them into twins, sending them to another realm for a whole new life, then let them come back here to save our butts with wicked things they learned over there. The demon didn't expect it to work that well or them to turn into warriors who would make sure humanity kept going, no matter what the angels and demons wanted."

They blinked then nodded. "So they made a deal...."

Faith held up a hand. "The angels and demons were planning to take out humanity. The demon that came to save them wanted out of that war because his own plans to take over would be upset. So he used saving them to end those plans so his own could happen. Thankfully the twins countered that battle as well," Giles said dryly. "All he gifted them with was splitting them apart and sending them to that other realm so the healers there could save them. They took advantage of the new skills Willow's attack opened and trained themselves to be the bane of all enemies of humanity. And a doctor and engineer."

"Was that world a bit...steampunk perhaps?" the second agent asked. Faith nodded. "That explains their fashion choices then." They shared a look then looked at them. "It gave them no gifts?"

"No. Willow overloading them with black magic opened up some latent ones," Faith said. "Like visions and magic. And healing skills."

"Ah, so the demon that did it used some tactics to get his competitors stopped and now the twins are working on his," the first agent said.

"No, they've stopped most of his already," Faith said with a smile. "You can send C-4 to heaven and some hell realms. We learned how to do that when they attacked us." Both agents shuddered. "We weren't going to roll over and die for the angelic plan to take out humanity. We'll be damned first."

The agents both nodded. "Can we have a report on that too?"

"No," Faith said. "And if you make trouble for the twins, you'll be forgetting this whole talk. Really." She walked back inside. She came out with files. "Here, on the First Evil and the battle in LA. Our information files." They took them and drove off. She looked inside at Willow, who waved a hand from reading her book. "Thanks, Red."

"Willow," Giles sighed. "What have I told you about tampering."

"It's for a good reason." She smiled. "The twins don't need hell for being saved."

"Point but not good. They could cause trouble."

She nodded. "They can be kitties too." She went back to her book. Buffy would back her up, she knew she would. Giles couldn't really argue with Buffy and Faith agreed with this limited use of magic too so it was good for the slayers.

***

The Secretary of State and Chief of Staff showed up for the meeting with Mr. Giles, followed by a few higher agents as well as the guarding ones. The Chief of Staff smiled at them. "You almost managed to cover it up, yet again."

"We did try but it was not our doing that got LA invaded," Giles said, sitting back down once they had. "We were as discreet as we could have been."

"With all the cameras in today's world, there's no way you could've avoided them," the Secretary of State said. "It has brought up some questions from other places. So far we've mentioned the Council and they've cleared up. Until we figured out that some of the people at the invasion, and later, weren't on your staff."

"The US does have a small society of demon hunters. Mostly those who were directly affected by them in some manner," Giles said. "The few we've met have been very tense and very honest about what they do and how they do things. They're not all happy that slayers exist. They understand that she can't be in every place at once and that the old Council would've probably taken them out as well so there were no witnesses. Then we pointed out we don't do that and offered to share information and training so that some may take the place of some field watchers for the girls."

The Chief of Staff stared at him. "Then who are the twins?"

"They're...adjunct staff basically." He took off his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose then put them back on. "They used to help my slayer, Buffy, back in Sunnydale but things happened."

"We heard rumors they took a deal. Did you shove them out for that?" the Chief of Staff asked.

"No! No, I'd never do that. Especially since it was to save their lives after Willow's grief led her to wanting to end humanity and they stopped her. She had sucked up an enormous amount of black magic after losing her girlfriend, who had been right in front of her. She shot a good bit of that magic at Xander and they had to beg for help. The demon that did it, a true demon, one of the possessing kind, helped them with the stipulation that they couldn't jump into our next battle without Buffy asking for help and that they be split into twins.

"Which worked out well for them. He got them to another realm, where they were deaged to ten to save them, and the healers there worked on things. They got about thirty-five years over there from what they said. They did take the opportunity to learn quite a lot. Including their new careers. They've also used it to become the bane of any battles that may impact humanity."

"Okay, that makes sense," the Secretary of State said. "I couldn't blame them for that either. Are you on good terms with them?"

"Mostly. The girls still try to nag about things but they're better at shooting back at them now. Buffy always thought Xander...normal. He didn't have any prior training, no skills like magic until Willow. She had a blind spot about things now and then. She's woken up more to appreciate all that she has and had back then. Including about the twins."

"You've had other helpers," the Chief of Staff noted.

"We have yes, and we do miss a few of them greatly."

"What about that military project you had helping?" the Secretary of State asked.

Giles took off his glasses again. "If you mean helping by torturing beings for supposed scientific information then I suppose they did help by destroying a good bit of the peaceful community," he said, staring at him. He stared back, looking confused. "They did not *help*. They caused a few very big problems, including one within the group. As Buffy was dating one until she found out what they were doing, we lost some of the goodwill we had with the peaceful demon community in Sunnydale. Afterward we were barely able to rebuild some of the lost trust. If you actually looked at their files, I'd hope you'd be ill at the way they ripped apart beings for what looked to us like fun and games under the cover of science."

"We only heard there was one and it was sealed," the Chief of Staff noted.

"We were told some of them were allowed to be reassigned and some went to prison," Giles said. "I know a few are on a hunting squad the UN put together and a few are in Homeland and the FBI because we've run into them a few times." He put back on his glasses. "I do worry about them getting near the twins but as one's now a physician I'm sure he's learned how to take humans apart quite handily if need-be. If not, he knew how to use a knife before and I doubt any magical or other weapons training he gained over there eroded that ability."

"So they do have magic?" the Secretary of State asked.

"Yes. Willow's suicidal fit opened that and a latent gift for healing in one and visions. That's why he sent them to that realm. It was fairly strong magically and had proper education for the boys as they regrew."

The two higher ups shared a look and the head agent for this meeting cleared his throat. "Are they safe?"

"In what manner?" Giles asked. "Around people? I'd suppose so. They always were and Philip's just finished his year of residency. Xander finished his internship as an engineer." The agent nodded. "Are they safe in a battle? They do know how to handle one and have managed to protect themselves when the demons came near them." He smiled. "If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have had any warning about the angel vs demon battle to end humanity that they tried to start. Since the angels wanted to take out humanity, we stood up a bit." The agent shuddered. "Xander nicely knew how to get C-4 to a few of their offshoot realms. It made them retreat to make plans and gave us room to beef up our own protections so humanity can't fall to it."

"An end times battle?" the Chief of Staff asked.

"No, they were tired," Giles said dryly. "They decided they weren't getting worshiped properly and that humanity was full of flotsam for it. They took it upon themselves to start it. Frankly, we were not amused that humanity had to become the third side and half of the demons they were fighting against were really on humanity's side. Though a few angels did defect to side with humanity." He opened his briefcase and pulled out a file. "This is what we compiled on that as of last night. It includes statements by some of the hunters and a few other things." He let them see it. "It was postponed but not totally ended. They're regrouping to make different plans."

"This isn't what the end time battles are supposed to be," the Secretary of State said, looking at his coworker, who nodded he agreed. He looked at Giles. "What about all that stuff in Revelation?"

Giles shrugged. "We have no idea. This wasn't about anything biblical. They got pouty because their worshipers were dying off. No one remembered some of them at all. What happened to the older pantheons was becoming their fate and they decided to say 'screw it' and chuck humanity into oblivion so they wouldn't have to go first."

"Aren't there more moderate voices?" the Chief of Staff asked.

"No, they have *factions*." Both politicians sighed and shook their heads. "The one who could overrule them is apparently on vacation from what we've heard. Has been since about the Inquisition as it annoyed him or something." They both nodded again. "They've been trying to set it up using a few hunters but they've been resisting as well."

"That's good," the Chief of Staff said. "What can we do to aid you so you don't have too many problems?"

"It'd be nice if you could stop all those nagging sorts in the press and the few protests we've seen. The twins could probably use the same protection. Making the slayers more visible will probably only cause problems, if only with the Powers That Be, who are over the slayers. You can't really hunt vampires on patrol when you're being asked for autographs by little girls. Which did rather freak Faith out greatly the other night."

"If we could go back to remove all the cameras in that area, I'd gladly do it," the Secretary of State said. "Let us talk about it and we'll meet again in a few days?"

"I'll be heading back to England to handle the cleaning up the remains over there for the next few months or so. I leave on Thursday but Buffy will have the house well in hand."

"We can try to get things together by Wednesday since it's only Sunday," the head agent said. They shook hands and let Giles go back to the house. The agents and higher ups went back to the White House for a conference. This was potentially something very good publically but very bad in every other manner. Including bad for the slayers and the hunters.

***

The demons had other ideas. Not Crowley, he knew not to give hunters too much attention. It'd go badly for the ones being hunted. Some of the younger and more stupid looked at the various ways that they were getting attention, including all the protests and complaining going on, and decided it was a good idea to ramp it up. There were a few people who had made soul contracts that they could use for that. Plus it helped that the hunters were mostly pretty.

Crowley when he heard, just sighed and went to hide from the explosions. Because he was sure someone was going to send some again. The twins, at the very least, were like that.

***

Dr. Cuddy walked out after her shift at the hospital, hoping to find some decent takeout and go home to rest. Things had been a bit odd all day and she had no idea why. Though it was nice a few of the nurses had warned her so she could avoid having to see some problems going on. She walked out into a reporter ambush but just one reporter and her cameraman. "What are you doing?" she demanded. "Get out of my way and off hospital property."

"Ma'am, I'm doing a story on the people that helped LA this spring," she said with a perky smile and voice.

"I doubt they'd like that." She walked around them toward her car.

"Were you close with the one who was a resident here?" she called, following her.

"Not really. No more so than with any other resident." She unlocked her car with her remote and started the engine, then opened the door to slide in.

"Do you think they're evil?" the reporter called. "Misguided?"

"I think they do what they have to do," she said then got into the car and drove off as fast as she could. She'd warn Harris but she had no idea where he was or what his phone number was at the moment. She sent an email to House once she got home. He may know. He kept track of weird things like doctors who could touch-heal.

***

House was at the bar when he read that email. It wasn't the bar most of the doctors in town favored. It was downright dirty and nasty, and he could pick up easy college girls who thought they were tough there. He looked around, no Harris. He texted one of them to beware of reporters. He got back a 'who are you'. So he wrote his name out and sent it.

//Oh. You got Xander, not Philip, Dr. House, but I'll gladly warn him about idiot reporters wanting to know more about demon hunting. She's probably wanting a huge story to get off the weather girl desk. Have a better night.//

House put his phone up, smirking into his beer. The young one was wise in the ways of stupid girls who thought they were good at things that weren't. He really should've introduced Philip to Cameron, to see how he'd deal with her.

***

Xander put his phone down, looking across the table at his twin and his twin's bimbo. His own bimbo was laughing. "House wrote saying to beware of reporters."

"Great. Just what we need," he quipped, grinning at the girl next to him. "So, what's a nice succuba like you doing in a place like New Jersey?"

"Hellmouth taint," the succuba said in unison then smiled. The boys grinned. "Can we, please?" they begged.

"Only take some of the taint," Xander said. They squealed and drained some of the growing hellmouth taint. It always seemed to grow, even when he'd like it to go down. It being high meant that he got bad, dirty girls wanting to date him instead of his usual slightly dirtied and only bad in bed dates. The succuba sighed like they had gotten off and cuddled. That was nice and why they liked succuba. Their sort of girl didn't cuddle and cuddles were great.

Philip looked at them. "We should go taunt in a club. We haven't taunted in a while." The girls giggled. "I'm finally caught up on my sleep so I should get my groove thing on." He grinned at them. "Go with us?" They nodded, taking the boys to their favorite club to get down in, and to pick up food sources. The boys could handle anything there. Including the regional boss who was frantically waving them away from the hunters.

Philip walked over smiling. "We know. The hellmouth taint keeps growing. It's a handy service." He smirked. "They're very good at it." He walked back there, taking his bimbo onto the dancefloor to taunt others with his hips of semi-doom. The girls giggled and they went back into hunting and baiting vampires style of dancing, that made it even hotter for everyone. And the two vamps that tried to nibble got staked easily enough.

***

Xander walked out to get the mail, finding the same reporter and her cameraman waiting. "Wow, you made a deal to be a reporter? That's ....weird."

"I can sense you made one," she said smugly.

"To heal ourselves after Willow went suicidal." He grinned. "It got us healed and all we had to do was stay out of a battle until asked."

"Shoot, that means you're one of the Harris twins." Xander nodded, smirking at her. "Crap." She looked at her helper, who was her demonic owner. He fed off lifeforce in images. She looked at him again. "Um...I'm supposed to be doing a story on hunters."

"We'd hate that and have to go kill the ones that brought us to notice really, really hard."

She laughed nervously. "I'm human."

"I know." He grinned. "Philip's a doctor but I'm an engineer. I build things like ray guns." He smiled at the quiet 'oh shit' repeated under her breath. "Exactly."

"Um...." She stared at him. "There's reports there's a magical surge coming?"

"I haven't had a vision," admitted. "Or Philip."

"You asked for visions?"

"No, getting blasted with black magic opened up my skills for that and a few other things." He got into his mail box and looked at it then shrugged and looked at her once it was relocked. He looked at the demon camerman, who was sweating. "I was going to say, wasn't it too hot here for you? Your type of demon usually prefers colder climates."

"They're not really here."

Xander grinned. "I know." She shivered and backed up. "Anything else, miss? And you do not have my permission to air anything with myself or my twin. Or else we'll sue you."

"You're a matter of public interest."

"Sure, give my twin's future medical practice more customers." He stared at her. She laughed another nervous laugh. They ran off. Xander cast a curse at the demon, making him bellow and fall down dead. He walked up the stairs. "Beloved other half of me, we need to make the triple triskele pendants again." He slammed their front door. The neighbors all thought it was cute how he talked to his twin.

Philip looked up and pointed. "You made a set last month."

"Did I imbue them?" He looked and tossed one over. "They want us to get *attention* now."

"Fuck 'em," Philip said, going back to his book. He put the pendant on one handed and got comfortable with his feet up in Xander's lap once he sat down. "Think we should intervene before they get the slayers?"

"No. We're not Council. Let Giles. Oh, she said something about a magical surge."

Philip looked at him over the top of his book. "Why would there be?"

"No clue. Told her we haven't had any visions."

"Huh. Well, we'll be listening." He got back to his book. "Is the permit in yet?"

"Yup. We can go clean up again today and put up those few stud walls we've been building on the floor." Philip hopped up and got dressed, going to work on that with his twin. They had two months to get it habitable, which the apartment was now. They only needed three new bathrooms put into the medical area, one in Xander's office area, and a communal changing area for the nurses. Plus a few subdivisions of rooms. It was an easy job. All they needed was the stuff on backorder. They found an inspector looking in the windows and cleared their throats. "Can we help you?" Xander asked.

"This is going to be a medical clinic?" he demanded.

"Yes."

"You know that there's special regulations," he sneered, handing over the forms.

Philip looked at it and handed it back. "I'm a GP, not an OB. It's not that sort of clinic. It's a come let me treat your bumps, bruises, and allergies sort of clinic," he said with a sneer. "Thank you for jumping to conclusions and those are not state regulations. That was included in the packet to start my own practice." He stared at him. "Did you have anything else you wished to try today?" An officer pulled up behind them on the curb. "Officer, this man is claiming to be a state employee here to harass us about my general practice medical clinic."

Xander looked at him. "He thought it was going to become an abortion clinic."

"That's across town," the officer said, looking at the guy. "ID, sir. Impersonating a state official is against the law."

"I never said I was, just inferred it."

Xander looked at him. "I may be an engineer instead of a lawyer but that's usually counted as close enough to sue." He stared at him. "Anything else, sir?" The man huffed off. He looked at the officer, who grinned. "What?"

"The thing on your sidewalk?"

"He was tainting the nice young reporter who wanted to make hunters famous," Xander said dryly. "Giving her horrible ideas like we'd like to become media stars."

"I doubt that'd work," he agreed. "Be nicer, boys."

"We're almost always polite," Philip said with a smile. "Hallie would be most peeved if we weren't." The officer drove off happier. They went inside to work on things. Some of their supplies had been delivered, it was a great day to put in bathrooms.

***

Xander walked in reading the paper the morning they had finally moved into their new digs. "Someone's building a Tesla tower in Camden."

"Who the hell is that stupid?" Philip demanded.

"Probably an engineer," Xander admitted. "Probably a steampunk guy." Philip nodded, buttering his toast. "What worries me is that the tower conducts magic more readily than energy so if he's got any magic, we've got an issue."

"Magical surge," Philip agreed. "Do we find him or do we tell Giles and why he needs to jump on someone's head?" He ate a bite of his toast, holding up the other piece for his twin. Xander nipped it from his fingers and sat down to munch his way through it without touching it. Philip shook his head at the bad table manners.

Xander grinned while chewing. "I say we talk to him."

"You always were the more functionally spoken of us," Philip said with a grin. "We can go look at least. You're an engineer and interested in that sort of thing."

"True, I am. And Tesla towers have a major design flaw that makes it supercharge the magic and regular electricity." He got up to go put on real clothes. Philip finished his coffee and did the same. Then they met at the door. Philip looked snazzy in his vest and pants. Xander looked the same but instead of a regular button up he had one with a mandarin collar that coordinated instead of matched his vest. They left, locking up everything. Their car was nice and roomy. It also had nice weapons in the trunk in case they ran into something bigger.

***

Xander got out first, staring at the tower. "He's going mega sized," he said.

Philip got out, closing the car door. Xander did the same and locked it with the remote. They stared at the tower being built. They couldn't get onto the property. There were multiple no trespassing signs. Philip looked around and pointed. "We have two points."

"That's going to create a bit of a problem." He frowned. "That won't conduct right on those settings." He checked the compass on his watch. "No, that's sitting to the south, not north or west." A car pulled up next to theirs. They looked at the obvious agent. "Yes, sir?" he asked.

"Boys, that's private property and there's been threats."

"I'm an engineer myself and he's got the towers mis-aligned," Xander said. "It's going to create a hell storm of backflow at that angle to each other."

The agent blinked. "Who're you?"

"Xander Harris." He grinned. "This is my twin."

"I can see that. You an engineer?"

"Doctor actually." He grinned. "But I've watched my twin build a working replica in the past."

"Science fair?"

Xander grinned. "No." The agent huffed. "Someone really needs to warn him one's supposed to be on a north/south axis with the energy flow and the other's supposed to be to the west of it for safest transmission. Otherwise he's going to get a lot of static and nothing else, or he's going to get flash lightening."

"I can pass that on, boys. Go home." They nodded, going back to talk about that. The agent went to talk to his very weird little brother. "Someone just said you've got them mis-aligned and he had a working model."

"Really?" he asked with a sneer, not looking at his brother. "Who?"

"Said his name was Harris. Xander Harris. Had a twin."

The guy frowned at him. "I think I read something on him somewhere but I have no idea where." He shrugged. "Is he an engineer?"

"Yup. His brother's a doctor. He said you're going to get static and flash lightening."

"No, I know what I'm doing." He smiled. "Thank you for running them off."

"Sure. Not a problem. Weren't we going to have lunch?"

"We are." He tightened one last bolt and came out to clean up so they could eat and catch up again. He had only regained contact with his brother a few months ago. He was still trying to decide if he'd protect him when the big things happened.

***

"If we were there, we could seed the clouds so it rained when he tried that."

"Rain conducts electricity," Xander reminded him.

"Point but it'd be safer. It might ground it."

"It might screw up the weather so much we'd have a tornado too," Xander said. He looked up from building energy dampeners. "Did you talk to Giles?" Philip nodded. "Is he confused?"

"Very. He said magically it shouldn't make much of a difference unless he's summoning things."

"Yes it does. That one we stopped ...well, that just drew aliens." Philip grinned. "Did you share that?"

"He said magic's weaker here."

"No it's not."

"I pointed that out as well." They shared a look and Xander sighed, putting down the energy dampener and getting to work on protections. He had a neater hand with painting them. Philip got up to work on spelled items that they'd need to help.

Crowley appeared. "It was not my doing."

"The reporter or the idiot with the Tesla tower?" Philip quipped, staring at him. For being a higher demon, Crowley looks a bit scared and maybe worried.

"Tesla what now?" Philip pulled up a picture from the internet to show him. "That's not useful."

"It's an amplifier," Philip said. "We saw one draw aliens to our other world to invade."

"Oh, great," Crowley said. "The reporter thing was not me."

"I haven't killed anyone yet over that," Philip quipped. "You're on your own with the slayers and other hunters."

"I realize that." He stared at him. "There's been a magical breach."

"Greatness," Xander said as he came in to get a better paintbrush. "Do we have to cure it? Not the first one we've seen and handled but it'll mean days of being tired." He walked out again.

Philip gave him an interested look and a slight smile. "He's right, it's not and we were."

Crowley sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's in Cleveland."

"The hellmouth's open?"

"Slightly."

"I'll call Giles. Thank you for warning us," Philip said with a polite smile.

"It does me no good if anyone else takes over this plane either."

"Then please go stop the idiot with the tower."

"I may." He disappeared with a sigh of displeasure.

Philip called down there. "Giles, it's Philip. We just had a visitor that said the hellmouth's got a breach."

"Who was your visitor?" he asked.

"His name's Crowley. He's a major demon. The one that shifted us."

"Our witches say there's not. Is he yanking your chain?"

"With the way he looked exhausted and tired of humanity? Probably not."

"We'll check better. Where is that tower you were worried about?"

"Camden, New Jersey."

"I'll have someone look those up."

"They're not aligned right unless he's calling a portal," Philip said. "And even then one's not exactly in the right place. We know it'll amplify things like magic and other energies. The last time we saw one, it pulled an alien invasion."

"Xander said that. I'll have someone look into it."

"Thank you. Have fun with the hellmouth. Call if you need us." He hung up and got back to work on his dueling gear. "Xander, I need more specialty shots."

"I'll do them later if they're not in the closet in the hallway," he called back.

Philip went to look and came back to reload his speciality dueling pistols. Each had two shots, and he had six of them. And another three regular guns concealed for worse things. Plus knives, darts, magical traps, and other assorted things that might come up as useful during a battle. His full dueling vest for battles is much less cute and much more protective. Plus he has his usual harness on underneath it. He made sure they still fit together with everything in place then put them beside the door on a hanger. He got back to work on various banishing potions and other problems he'd do something about until Xander called that someone was knocking. Philip turned on his stool as Xander walked in with a sloppily dressed agent. His better dressed partner was behind him. "Yes, can we help you, gentlemen?"

"Cut the crap," the sloppy one said. "You had someone harassed for correcting you?"

"No, I had someone harassed for claiming to be a state employee and for having the wrong idea. I'm not an OB/GYN and I hate children. Why would I need to follow the rules for an abortion clinic?" They stared at him. He stared back. "If you don't like it, I can have you harassed as well. I don't put up with bullshit, gentlemen, even from agents."

"We can arrest you for making drugs," the other one said happily.

"Those are potions. Specifically a banishing potion." They sneered. So Philip threw one on them and the sloppy agent screamed as the demon flew out of him. He smirked and wiggled his fingers. "You have a great life somewhere else." Xander cast a curse at it to kill it. "Ah, better. We really do have to finish putting up protections." They stared at the other agent, who was holding his partner up. "Anything else you wanted?"

"You hurt him!" he shouted, pulling his gun. Xander snatched it from him with his wand and put it onto the kitchen counter, plainly in sight. "How did you do that!" he shouted. He was groping for his partner's gun but it was also in the kitchen. Philip was calling the locals to come get them. Police officers carefully came up the stairs. "He threw something on my partner and made him pass out and this one took my gun," he said with a point at each one.

Xander waved his wand. "I don't need shot by Mr. Hysterical there," he said. He pointed. "It's within sight. All I did was float it over."

"Float?" one of the officers asked. Xander lifted him and put him back down. "Oh. You can do that?"

"For a few years now, yes," Philip said. "I used a banishing potion." He pointed at the smudge on the floor. "Demons. Yay."

"Just because we sent off the guy who tried to claim we're going to be opening an abortion clinic," Xander said. "I have no idea how they went from GP to OB. It's not even close on a keyboard."

The second officer smiled. "Boys, calm down. Sit. Don't touch anything." He watched Xander put up his wand. The agent lunged at Xander, who punched him and knocked him down. "Nice."

"Practice, unfortunately," Xander said. He hopped up to sit on the table. Philip cleared his throat so he properly sat in a chair. "Hallie did really well housetraining him."

"My mother tried hard too," the lead officer said. He checked the unconscious one. "He'll live?"

"He's just in shock," Philip said, coming over to check him. "Shock and it burned the mark the demon put on his arm." He pointed at the newly burned spot. Then he sat down at the table as well.

"You guys were at the thing in LA," the second officer said. They both nodded. "Interesting."

Philip smiled. "We started doing that in high school to protect ourselves and others."

"And because one tiny, bitchy blonde girl shouldn't have to do it on her own," Xander agreed.

The officers nodded. The second one smiled. "I would've too. That's why I became an officer."

"I like building things," Xander said. He snapped his fingers. "There's a guy creating a problem in Camden. He's building Tesla towers and that's going to cause a huge problem sometime soon. They're amplifiers and with the way they're set up it's more likely to open portals than create energy. We tried to explain that to the guy that caught us staring at his installation. I don't think the agent cared about his brother's misdeeds."

"Sometimes family can be that way," the lead officer said. "Did you attack them?"

"Only when they started it first," Philip said. "Then I threw the banishing potion I had been working on."

"I only pulled my wand when he pulled a gun. I'll be damned," Xander said. "I'm not that noble."

They nodded, calling that in. "The boss hates you," the second officer said.

"We don't care about his species," Xander said dryly. "We don't care about anything peaceful. We never have. That's not the Sunnydale team way." The second officer said that and then winced. "I take it he's not happy we're us?"

"Something about nutjob hunters?"

"No, that's not us. We're nicer hunters. That's why..." He took the phone. "Listen," he said, making the guy shudder. "Yeah, we backed up the slayer. We're retired until it comes up to bother us. I'm still Xander Harris and it's not going to change." He listened. "Exactly. And one possessed and the other paranoid and on something. He's got the shakes, Philip."

"I'm not required to treat him as he just threatened my life. The oath does not say that."

Xander gave him a hug. "It's all right. I'll still protect you from agents who're high on something." Philip swatted him but gave him a fond look. He picked back up the phone. "Sorry, was calming my twin down. Yeah, that twin. Thank you. Here, your officer back." He handed it over.

The officer listened and looked at them. "He was part of a deal?"

"We got hit with so much black magic at once we were dying. No one was going to help so Xander made a short deal. Us being split again was the only way to keep us from dying. We were already in organ shut down," Philip said. "The only price we paid was being told we had to be asked to jump into the next battle. When she did, we went."

"Our apocalypse battle was in the way of that demon's plans. The same as LA was," Xander added. "He didn't want to have to deal with it and we'll be stopping his too."

The officer repeated that and nodded. "That's what he heard, and that you're dangerous."

Xander grinned and pointed. "Only when you make us be dangerous."

The officers looked at the picture. "World dueling championships," the lead officer said. "Impressive."

"Healers don't usually duel but we're excellent at it," Philip said with a smile.

From the phone they heard a loud yell. The officer winced. "He wanted to know if you're a healer or a physician?"

"Both."

"The same as I'm a crafter and an engineer," Xander quipped with a grin. "We also do teach what we know if people ask."

The officer listened and hung up. "No one touches healers."

"Hmm. It's like being a seer. No rule says healers or anyone with gifts have to help." He smiled. "I'm not usually like that."

"Still, he said calm it down."

"Make them leave us alone. It's the second time in a few days and the second time they tried to accuse me of opening an abortion clinic."

"We noted that and that this was a new family practice."

"Adults only, please," Philip said. "I do not deal well with children. They creep me out."

"Me too, and I have four," the lead officer said. "Let us take them downtown, sir." Xander pointed at the gun again so he could grab it. They carried them down to the car and to the station. They ran both of them through the drug and alcohol screening system. Both of them were high. That was great. Their boss was not pleased but the federal boss would be even less pleased.

Xander and Philip shared a look and got to work on the protections. This was ridiculous. They were over having this happen and they'd be fixing it. Quickly.

***

Philip looked over at the knock to his door, opening it to stare at the guy on the back stairs. "Yes, Officer?"

"Sir," he said, trying to move inside. "This is illegal. You cannot keep officers out."

"Unless you have a search warrant you haven't presented yet I don't have to let you into my house. I can exclude anyone I see fit." He stared at him. "Beyond that, if my *protections* get you, that's not my fault either."

The officer gasped. "You're..."

"Yeah, a Harris." He smiled. "Long way from Sunnydale, but this is a better thing. Especially being semi-retired." He stared at him. "What did you need?"

"There's been some questionable problems outside the city."

"Wasn't us. We've been fixing up the offices downstairs."

The officer grimaced. "We heard what you're setting up."

"I don't know who started that stupid rumor but I'm not an OB. I'm a GP. An internist." The officer slumped, staring at him. "I hate children. Thank you muchly." He stared at him. "Anything else, Officer?"

"Do you know anything about the cause of the problems?"

"No clue. The only local problem we're tracking is the guy in Camden who's going to end up causing huge issues with his stupid Tesla towers." The officer moaned. "Exactly." He smiled again. "Anything else?"

"It's still against the law to keep law enforcement out of your domicile, sir. What if you need us?"

Philip stared at him. "Why would we need you, Officer? We can handle most everything that happens around us. We're like that." The officer shuddered and shrank back away from him. "Don't fall, it's a nasty drop." The officer turned and ran down the stairs. "That really wasn't a threat but you were about to fall," he called after him. "Sorry if it freaked you out." He waved and shut the door. Xander came out of his bedroom shaking his head. "Anything you can think of that would keep us from going to spy on the problem in Camden?"

"Not unless the cops decided to do it themselves." He yawned. The two succuba left. Xander grinned and let them kiss him on the cheek. "Thanks, ladies."

"You're welcome." They skipped down the stairs. It was nice that there was an exception built into their protections. The twins shared a look and got back to doing what they had to do to set up the offices and stop the idiot bad guy since it looked like no one else was.

***

Xander went to find the curse on his poor twin, finding it easily enough on a stone by the new house. He took a sledgehammer to it and the curse stopped. He could faintly hear demons screaming too but oh well. Or maybe not demons but some winged supposedly higher being was screaming. Xander walked off, smiling at the staring officers. "It had curses on it."

"If you're sure," one said. Xander pointed behind him at the thing that had appeared to mourn his work. "How did he get there?" The guy stared at them, then glared at Harris. "He doesn't look too pleased with you."

"He's going to be even less pleased with me when I shove my boot up his ass," Xander quipped. The angel rushed him and Xander swung with the hammer, cracking the guy's head. "Hmm. Angels aren't all knowing." He stared at him. "Anything else?" The guy groaned. "I'm not the healer in the family. That's my twin." He smirked. "You going to try me or my twin again?" The angel healed himself and stood up, pulling a sword. Xander shrugged. "Yay," he said flatly. It came at him again and this time the ray gun came out to vaporize him. "Hmm, the things you learn in other realms," he said dryly, picking up the hammer again with a grin for the officers. "You guys have a great day." Someone was clapping so he looked. "I know who you are."

"You can quit fighting them, kid."

"No I can't. I'm still the White Knight of Sunnydale," he said in Latin, earning a horrified look. "Yeah, all that was because of her suicide attempt that I stopped. Hmm, using us to take out the battles in his way, and then his because we're just like that." He stared at him. "You guys can make peace. We'd all like that." He smiled. "Have a great day, Gabriel. I've got to baby my twin. He's having an ice cream fit." He walked off.

One of the officers stopped him. "What sort of gun was that?"

Xander pulled it out to show him with a grin. "I built it myself. My twin's a healing sort and I'm a crafter sort."

"It's a ray gun?" he demanded.

"Yeah." He smiled. "It is. It's real handy for demon battles." He looked at the blank spot then back at him. "Or the angels that are tired of living. They nearly tried their own suicide cult thingy. Too bad the slayers were in the way." He smiled, putting it back.

"Is that on a permit?"

"I didn't know you needed one for a ray gun. Though yes, I do have a carry concealed permit if you'd like to see it, Officer." The guy nodded so Xander pulled it out to look at. "Oops, my twin's. I grabbed the wrong wallet this morning." Philip walked over and handed it to him then took the his own guns from his battle harness to hit the two angels that were invisible. They faded into view with a scream as they atomized. "Thanks, my beloved twin."

"You're welcome, my own evil half." He grinned at Gabriel. "It was the only way to save him and we were important," he said in Latin with a smirk for the senior angel. "Ask Cas."

"I will." He stared at him. "Damn."

"Someone does keep trying," Philip said dryly, smirking at him. "Pity."

Gabriel nodded. "Yeah, I can see why." He walked off shaking his head until he could disappear the normal way. He landed in front of Castiel. "They did not represent those twins fairly."

Castiel looked at him. "The Ones Who See? No, they did not. Or that one was a true healer and the other a true crafter."

"Yeah, I saw the ray guns," he said dryly.

"That deal was to save them from the black magic a witch had shot at them. It moved them realms so they could train their gifts. The one who made it wanted them to take out battles that would get in the way of his. They have, and his."

"That's what they said." He stared at his lower angel. "How do we solve this?"

"We butt out of humanity," Castiel said simply. "Because they are not the sheep they used to be and we are not worthy sheppards in their cases."

Gabriel huffed, sitting down. "You know they won't accept that answer."

"Yet, the twins were the ones that sent the explosives," Castiel said with a smile. Gabriel stared at him. Castiel smiled and nodded. Gabriel moaned, shaking his head. "Exactly." He patted him on the arm. "It will be as it will be. We all know that."

"They're going to try again."

"The slayers will fight it with the hunters."

"Slayers? Why would they get in our way?"

"Because there is not one, there's many, and they have heard so they have a mutual aid pact for the hunters," Dean said, grinning at him. "Which one are you?"

"Gabriel." He looked at Castiel. "That can't be."

"You have not looked," he chided. Gabriel looked then frowned. "The First Evil happened." Gabriel stared to the west, grimacing at what he saw. "So the line was activated to sew her back in there." Gabriel rubbed his forehead.

Xander appeared, patting him on the back. "By the way, those of us with visions have seen their new plans too." He grinned. "We don't like them either." He pulled his wand to time stop the restaurant for a minute and do a small retroactive memory spell on the normals. "It'll never go as they planned. If my twin and I could stop an alien invasion with just three others, what can we do with hundreds of hunters, slayers, and watchers, plus the other normals who'll suddenly realize?"

Gabriel stared at him. "The deal?"

"Willow went on a suicide binge and hit me with seven blasts of black magic. So we made a slight deal, without a soul clause, to save ourselves. It sent us to a new realm where we got to regrow up as twins, because that way the energy wouldn't kill us, and learned all sorts of neat things from the old Order of Hunters and others. Halfrek reraised us."

Gabriel licked his bottom lip then nodded. "You are of them?" Xander showed his tattoo. "Oh, dear."

"Oh, yeah," he said with a grin. "We'll gladly teach what we know to anyone. By the way, Dean?" He looked up from chewing. "Some guy in Camden, New Jersey is putting up Tesla towers that're misaligned. That's why we had an alien invasion over there at one time. If there's any hunters near there, they're doing it on All Saints. We're preparing for problems."

"I can get the warning out," he promised. "Will you guys need help?"

"That might depend on what they pull. The guy's not concerned and I'm not sure he's not trying to resurrect someone with it."

"Great," Sam quipped. Xander hugged him around the head. "Hey!"

Xander grinned at him. "One of the higher angels wants Dean as a human suit. You can stop that."

"I will stop that," Sam agreed, grinning at him. "When do we get to see your other weapons stuff?"

"Well, there's going to be a duel in a few days," he offered. He smiled at Gabriel. "We challenge your champion so they can quit being so stupid. Do I need to manifest a glove?"

"No, I'll pass that on. Where?"

"Cleveland. There's a nice blank area outside town that's not on holy ground but nearby and it's not near the hellmouth. Two days? Around noon to be faithful to the intent of a shootout?"

"I can tell them of the challenge. I can't guarantee they'll take it."

Xander smirked evilly. "We'll see." He winked at Castiel. "Have fun, dear. And watch for the bitchy ho Meg, guys. She's going to crash your car. She's Azazel's daughter and wants to get you guys back. Reapers aren't that fun and we'll gladly come help you guys out of their grasp."

"Already done that once," Dean said.

Xander nodded. "I know." Dean winced. "She's back." He waved and disappeared with his hammer.

Gabriel looked at Castiel. "And yet they're supposedly protectors?"

"They were driven that way by only be surrounded by girls."

"Ah. That'd do it to me too." Gabriel left just before the spell ended.

Castiel looked at the two brothers. "Cleveland's not that far," Sam said.

Dean nodded. "About a day's worth of driving."

"We can do that," Castiel said. "I can help you protect yourselves and the slayers. Some may not be against taking hostages."

"That makes them evil," Sam said bluntly. "Not good."

"True. They won't see it that way."

"The slayers have their protectors as well," Castiel reminded him.

Philip appeared sitting beside Sam, arm around his shoulders. He time stopped the restaurant, looking at him. "One's already tried. He missed. By thousands of miles. If they try that, then we get to be unmannerly as well." He grinned. "They don't want to start that trend. If my twin's a *crafter* the way I'm a *healer*...." He disappeared. The time stop ended again.

Dean shivered. "Wow."

"Yeah," Sam agreed, stuffing his mouth with meatloaf.

Castiel ate his pie, considering things. That was a bad warning to have to give. The angels were not prepared for that sort of war.

***

Philip looked up from reading when angels started to appear. "My twin's on his way. He had to free your hostages." He tucked his book into his bag. Xander appeared looking a bit sweaty. "They good?"

"Yup, all good." He bowed to them. The angels sneered. "Your champions?"

Three stepped out. "You can handle us," one said.

"Yes, I can," Philip promised. "And have handled worse. Formal dueling rules or do you prefer another method?"

"We can do it the angelic way," another said.

"Sure. Halfrek taught us those as well." One of the senior angels looked horrified. "Yeah, we grew up over there when we got saved from the suiciding witch." He waved with a grin, taking off his overshirt. His twin was in a tank top and his battle harness, including arm guards. Xander pulled on his vest and buckled it as they moved closer. "Now or do we need to count it out? I'll let you decide."

One of the angels attacked and Philip created a shield. Almost nothing got through. Xander cast the curse at them, making them all scream as their powers were leached out. "Hmm, they didn't expect that," Philip said. "Interesting." They cast another one then summoned the demons that still had plans.

The one that made the deal shook his head and walked off. "I did not do this. It is not in my plans and my plans will not try humanity until after all the slayers are back down to a single one," Crowley said.

"Won't happen," Philip said with a smile and a wave. "Not with how Willow used the scythe."

"Oh, charming. Well, I can change it to wait until at least a century after you lot have passed on," Crowley said. The demons growled and attacked so the twins fought them. They were harder to beat but the leaching spell was getting them and a mass blessing worked wonders. Then a 'banishing spirits' spell.

Philip looked at the bodies, sighing. He looked at his twin. "They'll just use someone else," Xander agreed. "Take some of my energy, Philip." They touched hands as Philip squatted down to heal the bodies that had been used and abused. They got both side's bodies. Then they looked at the staring angels and demons. "Humanity's not like you think. Like the PTB, you don't *look*. You assume."

Xander nodded. "We're not weak and we're not giving in. Even if you started a real apocalypse of a natural variety, we can go to space. We have that capability." The head angel nodded once. "We showed mercy because it's what *good* people do. Halfrek had to teach us that."

"Before I wouldn't have cared," Philip assured them. "The petty BS ends, gentlemen. There's enough doing bad things that you're overshadowing. We don't want the extra work and you're pissing off them as well."

"The guy with the Tesla towers is really upset with all this," Xander agreed. "It screwed up his measurements. He was out having to adjust one of the towers. Totally going to be a problem come All Saints."

Crowley looked at them. "We can have a truce until you two are dead for at least a century."

"Later slayers will already know about it. The slayer spirit has a long memory. All the way back to Sineya, the First Slayer. We met her," Xander said with a grin for him.

"I heard when I looked." He looked at his brethren. "I had no plans of trying humanity because they are strong. The hunters and the slayers are strong enough to hold a goal post."

Philip grinned. "That's only partially our fault."

"You took a deal from him," the head angel said.

"Did you see why?" Xander asked. "Or that he didn't ask anything of us outside of staying out of a battle until we were asked for?"

"I..." He looked back and sighed, shaking his head.

Crowley nodded. "They were the needed remedy for Azazel and all that starting off. I didn't want to deal with Lilith."

"Beheaded her last night," Buffy said from where she had been watching, smiling and wiggling her fingers at them. "Slayer scythe, very handy against evil."

Crowley smiled. "Thank you."

"Welcome. She's a bit too freaky, even on the Dru scale."

Xander looked back at her. "She liked to torture too. Even Anya would've called her a psycho."

"Pity." She walked over. "So, are we all done with this? Because my slayers are tired of this and they're cranky. I'm about to unleash them all on both sides."

The head angel shook his head. "We will not bother the slayers, though they are not of our plans."

"Yeah, we figured the PTB were something that could only be found in a comic book," Buffy said.

"Mostly," Crowley agreed. He looked at the head angel. "We can make a truce?"

"We can," he agreed, shaking on it. That was binding for them. "Slayer, we will not bother your girls. Hunters, we will not bother you. There will be no war between our two sides until all of the current hunters and slayers have been dead for at least a century."

"Thank you," Philip said, bowing some. "That's very kind of you." The angel smiled. "Proxy problems?" he asked Crowley.

"Just because they're evil doesn't mean they're ours."

"I know," Xander agreed with a sigh. "We still have plenty of that kind."

The head angel nodded. "One is trying the local hole."

Buffy called. "Someone check the hellmouth." She hung up. "If we have to, we'll go kick butt again."

"I'm tired but I can sure try," Philip agreed. He looked at the bodies then at the angel and demon. "Thank you for your help in this matter, gentlemen. And if it's going to impact humanity, let us know? Hopefully without visions?"

"We shall," the head angel said. "Even though we let you win."

Xander grinned. "It was this or more explosives."

"We'd rather not have that happen," Crowley agreed. "Thank you for being the binding agent this time." Buffy looked confused. "They won, and we didn't fight all that hard, so the agreement could take place. We couldn't make one without it. It's against the rules we both have to play by to make an agreement without a third side stepping in to bat at us."

Xander nodded. "We knew that. Though, the banishing charm? Did it switch their sides? I felt Willow helping."

The two higher beings looked then Crowley nodded. "Yes it did. Rosenburg needs a leash." He sighed but left to take some tums and deal with those spirits.

The head angel looked at Buffy. "Can you have her taught better?"

"We've tried. The Devon Coven watches over her."

"I'll have someone talk to them. Good day." They left.

Xander looked at Buffy, who shrugged. "Hole?"

"Hole," she sighed. "I hate the hellmouth."

"Then go back to Rome," Philip quipped.

"I should. So much nicer." They walked off together and it was comfortable chatting again. The bodies would wake up and the local officers could handle getting them home. They could handle this. Even if Xander did heal one of the slayers for Philip and got a few funny looks. Buffy just rolled her eyes. "We don't expect you two to be normal anyway."

The End.

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