Philip walked past House on his lunch break, drinking some coffee and eating a cookie. He muttered between bites and House flinched, finally regaining sense. "I warned you about redheads, right?" he asked dryly as he kept walking. "By the way, Xander's the eviler bitch of us two. It's a bad morning without coffee." He went back to work after the nice mind-clearing walk.
House shook off the last effects and followed him to deal with this. Unfortunately the kid got pulled into a surgery to watch how it was done. House watched him. The kid wasn't a newbie. He wasn't a real resident. He was a full doctor because nothing in there was grossing him out like the other residents. He followed him home, ignoring his pause at the grocery store for coffee. Philip even nicely left the door open for him. "You're not a resident."
"I am. I passed all the things I needed to," Philip said dryly as he put things up. He looked at him.
"You've been in practice for a while, which is impossible at your age. We'd have heard of any young phenoms."
Philip shrugged. "Who said it was here."
"Even overseas, we would've heard."
"Not if we weren't on this realm," Xander said from his workbench. He looked over. "We got saved and sent over to another realm. Had to regrow up there. Went for thirty-five years." House gaped. Xander grinned. "Hallie was very good to us."
"I should commit you both for funny mental problems."
"Do you really want to be a bunny again?" Xander asked.
"Xander," Philip sighed. "He's too important to risk."
"Fine. Even if he does remind me of someone's grumpy house elf at the moment."
"Why come here?" House demanded. "Why this hospital?"
"Because we're not allowed to help our former friends unless they ask," Xander said with a shrug. "This is nearly there but far enough away for safety reasons. Plus Hallie wanted us at Princeton." He went back to his tinkering. "It happens at times."
"You're not normal."
"Well, yes and no," Philip said. He started to work on dinner. "We're actually pretty normal. We grew up normal. Both times." Xander nodded. "We mostly did normal guy things outside of hunting." He shrugged, looking at him. "When you make a choice sometimes it follows you around like a puppy." Xander snorted. "And sometimes they're redheads that do memory spells."
"Who was she?"
"Rosenburg," Xander said. "She's like that."
"She's....like that," House said flatly. "What the hell are you two?"
"Wizards," Philip said with a smile.
"Like the books?" House demanded.
"Different realm but same concept," Xander said, turning around. "We got sent there to heal after stopping someone with magic being suicidal. We had to regrow up there, learn all new stuff. Since it opened our gifts, we learned to use them."
"It does help when we have to hunt demons," Philip agreed. "Then or now." Xander nodded. "Since we've been doing that for a few years...."
"Years?" House demanded.
"We were almost sixteen, the first time around, when we ran into someone who had the duty to hunt the bad things that eat people. We didn't think a tiny blonde girl should be the only one doing that. So we helped, even when she got bitchy," Xander said. "Then stuff happened and we got injured in a critical way. We got sent over there to heal by making a deal to stay out of the next battle until she called." He grinned. "That's already happened. That was why he was limping that first few days."
House stared at him. "So you hunt demons?"
Philip hummed and nodded. "Only the ones that are hurting people but yes. If they're going to eat someone then they need to be handled." Willow appeared. "Evening."
"What are you doing?" she demanded. "He doesn't need to know."
"If you screw with his memory, a lot of people could die," Xander said. "He's the sort of doctor that deals with strange things, like possible demon plagues." He stared at her. "Leave him alone." She huffed. "Why did you show up?"
"You have a lot of magical stuff around you," she said firmly. He floated her up and shrugged. "How are you doing this!"
Xander was giving her dirty looks but Philip knew the memories escaped her when she was in the throes of magic addiction. "Where we grew up had magic, and you blasting us with magic opened up ours," Philip said dryly, staring at her. "Thankfully we landed on a world with a fairly open wizarding culture so we did a lot of education. That included training my healer gifts, training his engineering gifts, and both of us doing a lot of fight training." She sneered. He pulled a book off the shelf to open it and floated her down to look at it. "Dueling champs. US dueling champs. Three years out of the last ten," he said smugly. "Single and doubles divisions." She glared at him. He stared back. "We learned a lot there, Willow. In thirty-five years you do that." He closed the book. "Now, why are you having PMS here?"
"I do not!" she shrieked.
"You sure as hell do," Xander said dryly. "Let me take her home. It's time for her to take a nap." He grabbed his wand and Willow's arm, apparating them off. He let her hit the floor and knocked her stupid for a bit. "Her bad mood just accused us of doing bad things because we have magic," he told Giles, who was staring at him. "It also went back to memory charms on a coworker of Philip's." He waved a hand. "I don't care what her problem is, but I'll be damned. I don't need this. Philip's doing his year of residency. He doesn't need this on top of the long hours." He looked back at Buffy. "You need a witch leash. Again."
"She's been stomping around all day about the magic around you guys."
"Well, yes, her blasting us with the black magic opened up ours," Xander said with a smile. "We learned a lot in a real school about it. Including how to duel. And how to kill even more demons. And an alien invasion once." He shrugged and smiled at her. Someone else could deal with her memory charmed problem. "You did read the vision?"
"Yup. How can we help?"
"Graveyard will have a mass of demons. I'd suggest that. Otherwise it's a few male hunters against half the higher demons who want to bring hell down."
"Yeah, that's a slayer thing. Hold on, hunters?" He smirked and nodded. "Like...you guys hunters?"
"Like had it affect their lives and went on to stop the evil," Xander said. "Yes, I was going that way before I got hit by her. Wesley trained with some when he left."
"Wow. I didn't know that." She considered it. "Do you know about our next big thing?"
"They're going to intersect again. You have one coming up in LA that's all hands on deck due to it being a vomiting demon realm coming here to take over." She went pale and grabbed onto the back of a chair. "In beautiful downtown LA." He smiled. "I sent that to Giles' email address. I figured Willow was doing it for him."
"She probably deleted it," Giles sighed. "I could use a copy. And of this new one if you could."
"That's in her email account since you didn't answer yours." He pulled out his phone to text Philip, who sent it to him. He let Giles read it. Giles went pale and his hand shook when he picked up his glass of scotch. "Around the same time. Maybe a few days between." Buffy took the phone to read it. She sat down on the carpet. "If we have to, we can help the hunters," he told her, taking the phone back. "We're not forbidden to jump in anymore so that should help you a lot."
She looked up. "We need to know how to handle that."
"Kill them," he said. "Beheading works on most everything and it'll be the easiest thing instead of changing weapons mid-battle." He helped her up, staring at her. "We'll handle it like we did graduation, Buffy."
She sighed but nodded. "Thank you."
"Not a problem. Just be safe and we'll meet you there." She nodded. "And leash her, please? She's already memory charmed the doctor that'd be handling a demon plague if one comes. He's Philip's coworker and caught him healing someone."
"We need to talk anyway. She's turned judgmental. I don't know why."
"Look at her girlfriend yet?" Xander quipped with a grin. "Half the underground loathes her girlfriend. Said she really traded down from Tara."
"Kennedy's a slayer."
"That doesn't make her good, Buffy. She's an evil queen in training." Buffy cracked a smile. "If even the kitten snuggling puffball demons don't like her, that says a lot."
"Yeah, it does. They like everyone, even vampires." She grimaced but cleared it up. "Okay, we'll chat in a few days. I'll handle Willow. You go do Xander things." He nodded and smirked a tiny bit before disappearing. "Can Willow do that form of magic?"
"No," Giles said quietly. "She cannot. That takes intense training and a lot of magical strength at times. She's strong but not that way." He cleared his throat. "I realize now where they were sent."
"Does that explain the vest thingy they have?"
"Yes, it does. They're a bit more uptight there, Buffy, but they do have excellent magical schools and universities. If I'm right, both boys are marked to their former Order of Hunters, who took over when the slayers there died off." She nodded. "Which means they are a very valuable ally."
"I get that but I still don't want them to get hurt."
"We don't want any of you hurt, and they can fight. They've learned a lot."
"I guess. We need to figure out who's going where."
"I'll work on that tonight." She nodded, carrying Willow off. Kennedy was eavesdropping. Buffy ignored it but Giles pulled her in to talk to her about her issues. He could not let Xander, or his twin, be hurt by that one. It would cause a problem that would most likely get at least Kennedy, if not others, dead. She wasn't the strongest or best slayer there was.
***
Xander reappeared, putting his wand into the holster on his back. "We had a chat and I showed them the vision thing."
"That's a good thing," Philip agreed. "Dr. House is presently taking a nap." He pointed at him. "He got a bit histrionic." Xander grinned. "Which one are we handling?"
"Both. We won't have enough people in LA for theirs. That's just a sad fact."
"It is," Philip sighed. "I ... We'll handle the portal?"
"Yes. And we can take an edge to make sure they don't get past us."
Philip nodded. "I'm tired of big battles. This is our third in eight years, counting going back for school."
"I know. Three in basically four linear years sucks. We'll handle it and we are partially retired." Philip nodded he agreed. "After your residency year, I say we go find a great beach and be naked bums for two weeks."
Philip smiled. "I could like being a naked bum." House blinked at them. "We'd invite you but you might try to take our flirting targets from us. Want dinner?"
"I..." He sat up. "You knocked me out."
"Works better than a bucket of ice water," Philip said dryly, staring at him.
"You practiced."
"I had a practice, yes. For almost twenty years." He smiled. "I did a lot of GP work and battle injuries. That's why I'm thinking plastic surgery now."
"You'd hate all the shallow people wanting boob jobs," House said. He stood up and looked at them. "Why me?"
"Because if another demon plague gets released, like has happened twice on this world, you're the guy they're going to call," Xander quipped with a grin. "And really, you're the sort of doctor Philip grew up into." He got some water and went back to his tinkering.
Willow reappeared, red in the face and huffy. "How dare you...."
Philip banished her, shaking his head as he finished fixing dinner and put it into the oven. "Really rude. The ones we regrew up with would be appalled." House stifled a laugh. "They would."
"I figure they would." He stared at him. "Regular surgery."
"I hate regular surgery. I did plenty of it for battle injuries, and I'll keep doing plenty for battle injuries. I'm not a vascular person and that hinders me there. I'm realistic, House." He pulled out the photo album again, sitting down. He flipped it open. "This was my practice."
House looked at it. "Nice general office. Hospitals there?"
"Yes. Not as techie as ours is but very good hospitals. We could do almost anything we needed to do up to brain surgery. They were lagging in that area. Which is a bit gross."
"Very." He looked at things. "Serious Victorian clothes." He nodded. "What's with the leather?"
"Proper dueling gear," Xander said.
"Huh." He frowned. "You look a bit...girlish in that one."
"I do but it's handy when I don't want my full leather vest and I do look nice in it." Philip smiled. "I get underestimated a lot. True healers are usually high on empathy and I'm not." He flipped a page. "That's Hallie but I doubt you'll see her. She's kind of trapped there."
"You know, we should go home and see if anything is still hidden there," Xander said suddenly.
"If you want to pull a Tomb Raider at night between bouts of work, go for it," Philip quipped. "I'm not supposed to be that far away or that tired."
"You can have fun," House said. "It's highly encouraged so you don't burn out."
Philip smiled. "I have plenty of fun, but that's not fun. It's work. It's tiring, digging, backache causing work." He flipped the page. "That's the Salem Academy of Occult Engineering. Xander went there. I went to the one up the street that was the medical college." He pointed at that picture. "The building's as old as sand and about to fall in any day now but the teachers are great."
"That's good. What did you guys study there?" Philip got up to open that bookshelf to view. House got up to look. A lot of the textbooks were built similar to theirs, but didn't have the same amount of technology or the same drugs. Though there were a few on healing by magic. He pulled the introductory one down to flip through that one. It was interesting. "They really do warn you about fighting."
"Yup," Philip said with a smile at his twin, who shrugged without looking. "They kept thinking Xander was the one that was taking dueling lessons until a professor caught us in a doubles dueling match. Then he threw an unholy fit at us both for ruining me. I kindly threw holy water on him to make sure he wasn't possessed. I nearly got beaten to death for that." He put that book back and handed him a smaller one. "For students that have healing gifts." He checked on dinner then sat down again.
"So you went from a normal life here," House said.
"Doing construction," Philip said with a grin.
"To there...."
"As ten-year-olds," Xander added.
"Then back here at the same age?"
"The age we were when we left," Philip corrected. "See, Willow had a grief issue once."
"Which nearly ended up killing us," Xander said.
"Which meant we begged for anyone to help with it. Which we got."
"Which meant we went there. Because our apocalypse that was coming up was cutting into theirs." Xander grinned at him. "It's so nice when they start going 'no, it's my turn' about apocalypse battles." He went back to what he was doing.
"So this isn't the first one here?" House demanded. Xander picked up his laptop and got onto a site, handing him the machine. He looked over the information, staring at him, mouth open. Xander grinned. "There's only one of you mentioned."
"One of them split us. We're wonderful twins and were too much guy for one body anyway," he said with a grin.
"We're all doomed," House said with a moan at the end. "Cheerleaders are saving us."
"Not all of them are. Just the head one," Philip quipped.
House put down the computer and looked at him. "Not much better."
"It could be worse."
"They could be porn stars," Xander quipped.
"They're mercenary and could probably handle it," House shot back. He relaxed and thought about that. "When?"
"As far as we can tell, April but I've got scheduled time off around then," Philip said. "I'm doing extra hours after the holidays to make up for it."
"That'll work. Others have for worse reasons, like spring breaks or honeymoons," House said. He looked at Philip. "Won't that hurt your medical career?"
"If I get too injured, I'll go back to other things. We are not one trick ponies, Dr. House. Really." He grinned a tiny bit. "I'm much more complicated than that."
"Quit flirting," he ordered. Both twins laughed but they looked pleased. He considered it. "No more healing around the hospital."
"That was a special favor so justice could be served before the vengeance demon got them in the hospital and could've caused other problems."
"Fine. Unless I ask...."
Philip held up a hand. "It does not work on all people. Some people are very resistant."
"I'll ask and you can tell me." Philip nodded. "Cuddy saw."
"Cuddy's forgotten," Xander quipped. House stared at him. "I laid an 'ignore it' spell on her about that. It helped the two witches on staff too."
"That's fine as long as it's not tampering with her memories." They both shook their heads. "Are you adjusting to the more technological approach?"
"It's good. Over there I kept going 'I've seen ads for meds that do that' and now I know why." He smirked at the casserole he pulled out. "There, that's pretty." Xander got up to set the table. He carried out things and let House pick his own seat since he was a guest and they weren't having a formal dinner party. Hallie had taught them manners and how to host good parties.
***
Xander and Philip snuck up on the battle at the graveyard together. They had three slayers. Xander pointed at the girls then at the demons ringing the area. They nodded and took off to hunt. The twins moved to the other side to hunt over there.
"Just because I said you couldn't butt into theirs doesn't mean you have to butt into ours," a male voice said, him walking out of the shadows. "That's being a bit disrespectful, boys."
They smirked at him. "We're not going to let humanity fall. Especially with an invasion in a few days."
"But thank you for sending us to people to train us," Xander finished. "We're so much better now." The demon smirked evilly. "It is the Order's job to butt into demon emergencies."
"You are?" he demanded. Xander pulled up his t-shirt sleeve to show off the marking. The demon frowned. "I did not anticipate that."
"Hallie and the goblins helped." The demon huffed. "Laters. I doubt you want caught here since this isn't your plan either."
"No, it's not. Though it could prove useful to mine."
"Yay," Xander said. "Shoo. Go." He smirked. "Before we have to turn into huge bitches about stuff." The demon laughed but left. The twins shared a look. "Get the gate." Philip nodded, jogging that way. Xander pulled out something and started to blast demons.
"Wow, you look like the hunter's fairy godmother," a guy in the cemetery said.
Philip smiled. "It's got its uses, Dean Winchester. I'm also a seer and I'm stopping all this bullshit." He pulled his gun and shot at the gateway, making it explode. He put the gun back and looked at Sam, using his healing gifts on him. He shrieked but the taint flowed out of him and so did the spell. He restarted him and Sam gasped, sitting upright. "You're safe. There's no cause for the contract." He looked up at Dean, who had a gun in hand. "There's worse out there and if you fall, humanity could go with you." He helped Sam up, handing him over. "He's safer."
Xander strolled up to them, shaking his head. "Scared of me. What a pity. Ladies, you good?" he yelled.
"Two more and I can't see Beth," one of them yelled back.
Philip nodded and jogged off when Xander nodded back. Xander looked at them as he pulled out the copy of the vision, holding it up so Dean could read it. Dean snatched it. "We always have reasons for doing things like this." He smiled slightly. "My twin and I are good guys, and we work with the slayers on occasion."
"Slayers?" Sam asked. "They're myths."
"Who shop a lot and live in Cleveland," Xander quipped. "They're having their own apocalypse battle in LA in a few days. You're on the route there." He smiled.
"Wow," Dean said, looking at him. "What's with the leather?" Xander turned to let him see all the weapons on it. "No harness? It's not exactly manly."
"We grew up in another realm thanks to being saved by a demon who didn't want this apocalypse attempt to happen either. He saved us and we'll be stopping his attempt later on when he tries." Dean gaped. Xander smirked a tiny bit. "There's not enough people who are protectors of a certain kind," he said, pulling his wand and hitting a demon running toward them without looking. "He called them anchors. Where we partially grew up, they called them the Order of Hunters."
"I've heard that name," Sam said quietly. "They're like us only they're trained by older ones."
"It's like Jedi for hunters," Xander agreed. "When we came back here we left it in good hands with ten people trained to handle things." He cursed another demon then blasted it to parts. He put his wand back up after looking around. "Philip?" he called.
"Bit tired," he called back. "Beth's injured but I'm fixing it." Xander walked that way, pulling out his own ray gun to shoot the demons. They screamed as they went up.
"Damn it, I want one of those," Dean said in awe.
Xander smiled. "I might let you talk me into building you one. Never know." He shot the one coming toward Philip and the girls. "Here, suck on my energy," he said, holding out a hand.
Philip grabbed it and used it to keep Beth alive and going. She gasped, but he held her down. "Stay. I had to heal you, Beth," he said quietly. "He crushed in your chest. You still have broken ribs and I need you to hit an ER before a rib shifts to puncture your lung." She nodded slightly. "Girls, get Beth to an ER." He looked at them. "We'll handle the rest." They nodded, carefully moving her. Philip had taught them all battle first aid the other day. He stood up with help, dusting himself off. "She'll live."
"That's good," Xander said, giving him a hug. "Good job."
"Thanks." They looked at the hunters. "Xander, are there spirits around?"
"Yeah, a few." He called them into being seen but he couldn't make them manifest fully. "Sorry, guys. I can't get them any more clear than that."
Dean was staring at one. "Dad." His father nodded. "You good?" He nodded. "Got anything on Mom?" he asked. John mouthed something then glared at the boys.
"Sorry, I didn't expect to need the herbs to open myself to that side of my gifts," Xander said. "Come back and I'll help you do a seance with them in a few days. After the other battle." John glared but nodded and faded out. Xander and Philip shared a look then shrugged. "We're on our way to LA, guys. Need more help?"
"Can the contract be canceled?" Dean asked.
"It should already be canceled but yes. Ask Giles to help you make sure. He's over the slayers." They both nodded.
An older man in jeans, a flannel shirt, and a trucker cap stomped over. "Who were those bouncy girls and who're you two?" he demanded. "Nice leather."
Philip smiled and bowed. "We're wonderful and they're slayers." The guy gaped, shaking his head slowly. "Yeah. We're their occasional backup. We're going to LA for their apocalypse and yours was conveniently on the way so we helped you fix it." He grinned. "Let us get that way. You guys be safe and look us up if you need us," he told Dean. They shook hands and the twins apparated off.
"No way in hell. They're not witches," the older guy said.
"They had wands," Dean said. "Not like any witch I've seen." He handed over the scroll. "Got that from them."
Bobby read it, frowning at it. "That's bad." He looked at Sam.
"He healed him," Dean said. "Totally healed, realived, all that."
"Then we can break the deal," Bobby said. Dean nodded. "Anything else about them?"
"They had the Order of Hunters marks in that one book," Sam said quietly.
"Damn," Bobby muttered. "Okay, that makes more sense." He rolled the scroll back up. "Let's head before we get caught by normals." They nodded, going back to the motel to regather and plan. Dean told him what they had said about LA so he called it in. That would be a mess. They'd head in the morning to try to make it there. It was the least they could do.
***
Dean and Sam got out of the Impala in LA, staring at the mess of battle going on. "He wasn't kidding. This is an apocalypse battle," Dean said. He shut his door and got their weapons, handing Sam his. "Check in. We both have phones," he ordered as he jogged forward to help. Bobby couldn't get there. His engine was smoking on the state border. Sam followed, diving in to help the young women. Dean spotted one that had been healed. She was limping and not happy looking. He backed her up. "Fancy meeting you here," he said when she stared at him.
"You're one of the hunters from the other night."
"I am. We can't let shit like this happen." He shot the demon coming toward them, blowing off his head.
"So much easier than a sword," she sighed. "Buffy hates guns." They moved forward together. "See the blonde? She's in charge, introduce yourself later."
"I can do that." He kept moving. He saw the twins appear with a huge round thing between them. They rolled it toward the mass of demons then the one in the regular leather harness shot at it with his ray gun. It exploded, taking out the demons and a good portion of the building they were coming out of. He threw something at the portal, which made it scream. All the humans grabbed their ears and ducked. The portal died and the battle was down to killing the rest. The twins stepped in to help.
Faith looked over. "I need that," she said.
Xander grinned at her, blowing a kiss. "I have one I'm not absolutely fond of and you can bum that one or you can wait and I'll try to make you one for the holidays. I made ours."
She looked at their battle waist cinchers and nodded. "I like the other twin's but in a shiny one?"
"I can do that, Faith." He grinned and shot something running toward them. "Shall we?"
"We should. You two disappeared."
"Had to get the bomb," Philip quipped, killing demons with spells for now. He had a regular gun in his other hand. Xander had a sword and a gun. So that worked well and the slayers gathered closer to them to create a pocket of fighting to move forward. "Cindra, go left," Philip yelled. "Get the ones headed out of the area in the alley! Take at least three with you!" She nodded. Xander was ordering some of the girls on the outer edge too. "Beth, go lay down!" he shouted when he saw her.
"When this is done, slayers can rest," she quipped back. "I am that stubborn."
"Yay. You had caved in ribs, woman," Xander said. "Listen to your doctor's orders."
"Whatever."
"You're a doc?" Dean demanded. Philip smirked and nodded. "Cool. We need to introduce you to some people."
"Sure. We don't mind." He shot something and then spelled it into parts. They kept going, cleaning up the mess. The military had ringed the area so nothing got out. The girls were all exhausted. So were the guys. Philip nodded at Faith then back east. She nodded. He and Xander disappeared.
Faith caught her breath, leaning down to rest her hands on her knees. She looked around. "We all good or at least living?"
"Don't make Willow try to pull you guys back if you're not," Buffy joked, flopping down to pant. "Damn, I hate real battles like this."
Faith looked at her. "At least we won, B."
"Yeah, we won." She got helped up by Dean. "Who're you?"
"Dean Winchester and your redhead slayer is hitting on my brother Sam. We're hunters, ma'am. Those twins said to come help when they helped ours. Only seems right." He grinned.
She smiled back. "We heard there's hunters. We didn't know you weren't myths."
"Us about you either."
"Huh. So maybe Xander's good for more than weapons." She looked around. "Anyone missing or at the ER?" she called.
"Two down," one of the witches in the coven said. "Both clawed, Buffy." Buffy slumped, nodding some. "We'll handle it and any that have made it to the ER and passed on."
Buffy looked around. "This was worse than the First or Graduation, girls. We did good but I'm sorry we lost some." They hugged her and then Dean and Sam. "We're going to hide before official type people find us," Buffy said. "Meet us in Cleveland?"
"I can do that." He grinned. "Safe trip." The witches moved them. "Wow, I want that ability," he complained, heading for Sam, who was sneaking back to the car. They made it and out of the area before the military guys could pounce. Dean even honked at one that was trying to stop them, waving some and nodding at him. They headed back for Bobby. "So," Dean said when he had to stop for gas. Sam looked at him. "That was bad."
"That was bad," Sam agreed. "They're girls."
"A lot of girls," Dean agreed. "Really strong girls." Sam nodded, looking amused. "Cleveland."
"I like Ohio," Sam said. "We can pick up Bobby if he hasn't fixed the engine." Dean nodded and they paid then were on their way to Ohio. They'd find out that night that the whole battle had been caught on security footage. LA had street cameras due to the crime rate. They had gotten a good view of the battle from a few of them. That might be a problem.
***
Philip got out of his car his next day on shift, avoiding the reporters. "I don't talk to people," he said when one tried to question him. "At all. Unless you're a patient, I'm sorry." He headed for the door.
"You were fighting demons," one of the reporters said, getting in his way.
He stared at her. "It seems like the thing to do if we're being invaded. Don't you think?" he asked dryly. He walked around her and inside. He headed to sign in but Cuddy got in his way. "Ma'am?"
"What. Was. That?" she asked calmly and quietly.
"The invasion? Pretty much what it looked like. It had to be stopped. A few of those girls we grew up with. I'm not the sort of man who can let a bunch of girls handle something like that, not when it's so important. I also open doors for ladies." He smiled a tiny bit. "Anything else, ma'am, or can I go on my rotation?"
"We're going to be talking. I'll sign you in."
"Yes, ma'am, if we must."
"We must." She stared at him. "At least you left the leather at home." He opened his vest to show his smaller harness. She growled. He buttoned back up his vest. "Why?"
"Because sometimes it's necessary. Do you think they don't attack the vulnerable in hospitals?" She blinked then slumped, mouth opening. "I haven't had to here yet, and I'm pretty sure I won't have to, but I'm not going to be unprepared." She nodded, pointing toward her office. He went that way. He spotted the reporter in there. "I'm sorry, I don't speak to the press. Go bother the crying, pantiless starlette that whined we were mean on tv." He pointed. "Now please." Cuddy came in. "Ma'am, I don't believe we need a press person do we?"
"No, we don't," she said, glaring at the head of PR for the hospital and her chosen reporter. "Out of my office." They left in a huff. She looked at him. "Sit, please, Harris." He sat down, looking calm. "You knew about that."
"I did."
"You put in papers around the holidays."
"I did. We were warned something was going to happen. As no one would believe, we had no real way of telling anyone on that coast that it may happen. We had people out there who told who they could. That's their area to protect. Most of them are gone now so the slayers are going to have to find someone else to do that."
"You?"
"Not a chance in hell," he said genteelly. She smirked. "I didn't particularly like LA and I grew up near there."
"I looked at your background check. No one noted you were on both coasts at the same time. Including some time that you were reported missing."
"Temporal relief."
"Temporal...time travel?" she demanded.
"Just jumped back a bit. We actually were missing during that time and then came back to four years before on this coast, where we did what we wanted to do instead of going back to the daily battles we had back there."
"Daily?"
"Yes. Patrol was daily." She glared. He stared back.
"So you went to college where?"
"Over there, when we were missing." He smiled. "It was fun."
"How long were you there?"
"Thirty-five years."
She slumped. "That's weird."
"It's magic so yes, it is." He smiled. "I don't use it here unless I have to. I've already had a talk with Dr. House about it too when he caught me preventing a further problem."
"Why would her facing justice be a problem?"
Philip pulled out his phone to open it to a page and showed her. "One of those was coming here since she had avoided justice by being in that coma. They're ruled by whatever wish the person made. Which would have hit innocents. The vengeance demon asked me to see if I could wake her up so only she faced justice."
"That makes more sense." She handed the phone back. "Have you had to handle anything here?"
"Not, not yet. A few partial demons have walked in to be treated in the ER and I did handle them. I butted into one person's case because she was complaining she wasn't sure what was wrong with him but something was because he had purple spots. I told her they were moles and did it for her."
"I heard her complaining about that." She stared at him. "Is there something we need to know to treat them?"
"There's multiple species. A lot of the ones here are mostly humanoid in physiology but drugs may react funny. A few have organs in the wrong areas. They do have their own healers. The nearest one is about twenty miles away."
"That's good to know." She stared at him. "What are you going to do about this sudden bit of press?"
"It'll die down and I don't talk to the press. I consider it rude to talk about other people."
She nodded. "Good. Try to avoid them. Make no statements on the hospital." He nodded. "The Board of Directors called me at six this morning when you were positively identified from the tape. They're not exactly happy so expect another meeting soon."
"Just give me some warning please, ma'am."
"Fine. If I can." She nodded. "Go home for the day. That way things can die down." He nodded and snuck down there, managing to get into his car before the reporters spotted him. He was very good at it. Only one spotted him as he got into the car and he honked as he drove off, mostly because they were trying to surround the car and he didn't want to run them over.
***
Xander looked at his boss at the engineering firm, shrugging some when he gave him a questioning look. "How did you get a ray gun?" he asked.
Xander grinned. "I inherited it."
"Are there a lot of people who do that stuff?"
"No. There's some but not a lot."
"How did you do that stuff?"
"I jumped in when I was sixteen. My former town had a huge problem with things." His boss slumped. "Then again, my former town is now a huge crater due to those problem things." He sipped his coffee. "We do what we must when the time comes."
"Good point. Can I see the ray gun?"
"I... I'd have to ask my twin. I'm not sure if it's a great idea and you hate steampunk things, which that tends to fall into the category of."
"I do, yes. I'd rather have computers than gears any day." He frowned. "Please?"
"If I can."
"Thank you." He walked off. "You're late on that building problem."
"I put it on your desk before I went on vacation, boss. If it's not there, that's not my fault. I time stamped it and all that good stuff." His boss looked at him. "I can print it again." His boss went to look and found it on someone else's desk. He took their ideas as well as his back to go over. Xander looked at him. "Thanks for the grammar checking." The guy slumped. Xander got back to work on his next project. He had to remind himself that fabulous guys like him had wannabes all the time.
"Harris," his boss called. "Why did you add in the extra structure? They wanted less instead of more."
"Those can be covered by things," he said. "But they'll need it because they also increased the number of floors." He brought his whole project in after he had reprinted it, including the request. "See, more floors means more support needed. I went against the pillars for arch spans, which can be covered if wanted." He let him see all that.
His boss flipped through the presentation on the powerpoint, including the original and the updated needs statement the client had sent in. "I do. When did they send that in?"
"Four days before my vacation. It wasn't that hard and I did what they did with bridges, only without the wire supports. If they wanted to do a wire support style, we can do it this way," he said, opening up a drawing file. "I started there but wasn't sure. That would mean they'd probably get a catwalk or something, or a place to hang plants from. Or even pretty things that diffuse the light coming in from that row of tilted windows so it's easier to see." He let him see that idea since it was more complete.
His boss nodded. "That's not bad. Those windows bothered me for some reason."
"I can tell you that putting them in is going to be a pain. Working construction, anything tilted or curved is a lot of hassle. Tilting them like that means that we'll have to probably support the top frames from the overhangs, so we'll need to strengthen this layer here," he said, taking his stylus to draw that window and figure that out. "Even with that slight overhang from the rest of the building, we'll need some extra strength there."
His boss nodded. "They might not want to hear that."
"They'll hate replacing them and the possible lawsuits later more. Better to be honest and have them complain. We can scale it back but it won't be as safe and those windows could blow in with one good wind if they're not supported. The architect is good, but apparently has little idea of where the building's going."
"Hmm. Then using the light diffusing chandelier would help," his boss said, making note of that. He called the architect on the project to ask about those windows and safety issues. He got the simple answer of 'they wanted it that way, make it safe somehow' and got hung up on. He sighed. "Great. He's giving them what they want without practical application." Xander grinned. "Any way we can do simple walls?"
"We can but it'll be a mess of cross-beams." He drew that. "We'd almost have to latticework the walls to support the extra weight with what they're demanding. Which can be pretty, but again hell to put in." He looked at his boss. "The wire one's probably the most structurally good, it leaves the foundation alone for that level's support and puts the majority of stress on the second and third floors for those windows. The arch idea is prettier and easier to cover up." He got into the wire frame idea and prettied it up, making sure it'd hold. "That way no matter what they put in there it should hold up."
His boss grimaced. "It's a bit weird but I can see where the strength comes in and you can integrate that into the light diffusers." He nodded. "Print that too." Xander nodded, taking it back to his desk to work on. "Paul, do you have anything?"
"Yes, sir. I was looking at his to see what non-traditional idea he had." He brought in his. "I'm finishing the drawing today."
His boss looked it over. "Xander pointed out that the windows are going to change the stress points." He looked at him.
"I thought we might have to change that to a lesser angle. Forty-five degrees may not be doable."
Xander came in. "I ran their building specs through the earthquake program. As long as the windows are well supported they'll hold. The top three floors will shake apart."
"Why?" his fellow intern demanded.
"Because there was an earthquake that hit the east coast last year," the boss said. "Everyone forgets, if there's mountains there's a fault line near there, even if they're ancient and quiet like the ones for the Appalachians."
"Hope for the best but plan for the worst," Xander agreed. "I tested the windows alone. If we drop them up ten degrees, it won't take hardly any extra strengthening, but it may have one of those laser effects depending on how often it gets direct sunlight. Like that one skyscraper has."
The boss nodded. "So, Paul, plan for them reducing the windows to thirty degrees, look at the strength of those upper levels. Xander, do you have any idea on those upper levels?"
"There's ways of tying in additional suspension to the main foundation line. They do it in the mega skyscrapers in Asia," he said, pulling up a picture of one. "If I read right, they have additional structural support about every seven or eight floors. I'd suggest five here for maximum efficiency at this height. Mostly because we don't have the counterbalance system they also have for earthquakes."
"Which was a fascinating bit of engineering work," Paul admitted. "I saw a Discovery channel show on it." He looked at the pictures. Then at their plans. "Where it dips in, make a separate foundation line?" Xander nodded. "Would that add cost?"
"Yes," Xander said. "But you're going to be putting in some beams there anyway so it's a matter of a few more and how they're positioned." Paul nodded, taking that idea out. Xander went to do his own version. They came out similar so the boss gave them both credit for it. Both of them went to the presentation with the client. Who got huffy that they didn't need that. Xander pulled up that earthquake program and let them see what happened with the various decisions. His wire one worked well. The arch ones was stable but still shook some. Paul's was stable but not as pretty. They debated about that need with the architect but Xander pulled up where the fault lines were in the US and showed him the building was going thirty miles from one. Better to spend an extra half-million on more support beams than to spend another thirty million to rebuild it after it collapsed if the bad things happened. Plus the cost of lawsuits.
***
Xander came in that night and slammed the door. No twin. He looked at his pocket watch that had a location feature. "Hospital. Sure." He put his watch up and started on a dinner that could be good cold, if his twin ever got in. Then he puttered around for a bit until he got tired. He also got a visitor about then and went to open the door. "Doctor House, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. I got named the taxi service for your twin. We had a mass case of driving while stupid."
"That happens." He took Philip from him and put him onto the couch. "Thank you."
"Welcome." He stared at him. "He's got a tattoo."
"He's got three actually. Which one did you wonder about?"
"The one I can see underneath your sleeve that matches his."
Xander looked then grinned. "That's the Order of Hunters that we grew up in."
"Are you going to be spreading that here?"
"No. We have slayers and hunters here. We're obligated to teach anyone anything we can if they want us to, but otherwise no."
"What about healers like him?"
"There's a few that we've worked with. They get a lot of that in their training." He smiled. "It's very handy and we don't have to tell them how to treat things during emergencies."
"Figures. What about here?"
"There's been three demon plagues released in the last hundred years. Right now, we're looking at a series of battles that could get another one released. You're on the short list of people who could handle it, but we really didn't come to Princeton for you. Hallie wanted us here."
"Who's that?"
"The woman who raised us over there." He smirked a tiny bit. "She may have planned on it but not us. She wanted us at Princeton. We thought it was because of all the easy yet smart college girls." He shrugged.
House shook his head. "How do you treat demon plagues?"
"A lot of the time they're like human ones," he said. "You can ask Philip tomorrow. I'm a good field medic but not a healer."
"Fine. I'll see him tomorrow." He left, going to think about that. How did one treat an unknown plague? That he had training in how to do.
Xander picked Philip up and carried him to bed. "You've lost weight and I'm going to tell someone to nag," he said as he tucked him in then went to his own room and bed.
***
Xander walked up the hallways of the hospital with Philip's lunch the next day, hearing why his twin was so angry with someone. He had felt the anger while he had been driving over.
"I don't give a damn if he is green, he's a human being like the rest of us!" Philip shouted at one of the other residents. "We treat all humans here, no matter what color they are! We're all humans, get over it already! You're not the same shade I am, neither is the head doctor! If you can't get over the fact that some people look different then you need to be in another field, like ditch digging or maybe burial pit digging. At least then you can't discriminate!" He pointed. "Go. Away! Before I kick your bloody ass."
House clapped, Cuddy shaking her head. "He's green. It's gold poisoning," House said.
"It's poisoning certainly but not gold poisoning," Philip countered. "We ran that test already." He handed over the notes. "Xander, thank you, Goddess." He took the lunch bag, giving him a hug. "I need that."
"I noticed you've lost weight and I'll have to complain about the reason." He looked at the other residents. "Quit trying to make him work more hours than you lot do please. Or else I'll have to break bad and make him come home to stop me." He smirked. "You never know what we engineers are going to do." He grinned at his twin. "I stopped one of my fellow interns from building a lifelike, destroying robot. I was having flashbacks to some friends in high school. So I have the day off." He grinned.
"Good, go grocery shopping?" Philip begged. "So I don't have to?"
"Of course I did. We didn't have things for lunch if I hadn't." He blew a kiss. "Be a good boy, don't make me come save you from the epidemic of stupid you're apparently starting here." He strolled off.
"Dr. Harris," a nurse called.
"I'm the other twin," Xander called back. "Just delivering his lunch to him." He smiled at her and pointed. "He's back there berating bigoted residents."
"Awww, we didn't know you were twins."
He smiled and nodded. "I'm the smart one, I'm the engineer." He winked and left.
She laughed, going to talk to him. "Dr. Harris?" He looked over. "One of your patients wants out. She's begging to go home."
"Is she the one that I told to lay still or I'd dose her with castor oil and then stick her with a bedpan?"
"Yup." She handed him the notes.
"If they can put up the proper equipment in her home and she has a home health care aid to sit with her all the time, or someone trained to be one, then she can go home. Or she can quit complaining to you that everything sucks because she broke her leg in four places." He made that note and handed it back with a smile. "You can quote me if you want."
"I can do that. Thank you, Dr. Harris." She nodded at the bag. "Want me to put it in our fridge?"
He looked inside then handed it over. "Thank you, Darla."
"You're welcome. We won't even steal it." She walked off to do that and go talk to that patient. Who got huffy but understood why when she tried to stand up to stomp off but her leg collapsed under her. That got an orthopedist in to see her, which she hated even more. That doctor agreed with the 'I'll torture you if you don't calm down' notes Philip had written.
"You're spoiled," House said sarcastically.
"Only by my beloved, slightly evil twin. Not like anyone else would look out for us," he said dryly. "I bring him lunch sometimes too because I'm the better cook." He looked at the new test results that came up. "That's...is that lead?" he asked, holding it up.
"Lead poisoning's definitely part of his problem. The rest is probably his liver going and his skin tone turned it greenish instead of yellowish. What do we use for that?" he asked the other residents. "Not you, Harris." Philip looked down. "Well, I'm waiting. By now you should be able to snap answers like that off, people. You're full doctors and nearly out of your first year." One was wisely looking it up and showed him. "Can't talk?" She opened her mouth.
"What did you do? Eat pepper spray?" She mouthed 'pepper challenge' and he nodded. "Get that treated." She held up her tylenol and mouthwash mini bottles from her pocket. "Good luck with that. Try a numbing one?" She nodded she had. "That's the correct drugs. Put them into him and monitor his progress. The rest of you are pathetic," he said, staring at them. "Harris is right. Even if he's green he's still a human being and this hospital is in the business of treating human beings. As doctors, you hardly ever get a choice about who you treat. So suck it up, kiddies. Before we flunk you and make you take the year over." He limped off. "Harris, go home. You had today off."
"I got called in, Dr. House. Dr. Cuddy said I was behind hours."
"I did?" she demanded from where she had been watching. The nurses had called about a fight among the residents. She had to say, she was amused by Harris.
"She said she was you." He pulled out his phone to show her. "That's who called, ma'am."
"That's not my office," she said. "It's Dr. Rassenbirch's office. She's the one that tried to screw you up the first day." He smirked. "I'll be counting hours tonight anyway. This time of year we always give you an account of hours so you can make up any you're missing before you finish up." She handed the phone back. "Go back to rounds." They trudged off. Philip gave her a hopeful look. "I know you're over hours. Go home." He ran off to get his lunch and head out to play in the sunshine he hardly got to see these days. She shook her head, going to take a look at the resident's hours.
For some reason, the log-in machine for them didn't keep records any longer. Thankfully they could get it another way from security tapes. Security could note that for her and they had a few trainees that needed the work. They sent up a report the next morning, including which doctor had taken out the person trying to rob the emergency room of drugs a few days back. "Figures," she said, putting that report aside. She made up a nice chart and stuck it in the resident's changing room, then emailed everyone a copy. They had their own email group, she did that for memos.
Then she called a staff meeting. House clomped in looking smug. He stared at her. "Which one did what now?" House said, looking like he wanted to laugh.
"We have to talk about resident hours," she said, looking around.
"The resident time clock doesn't work," Dr. Rassenbirch said.
"Really? How do you know that?" House asked sarcastically.
"I was looking at my resident's hours and it wasn't keeping them."
"You don't have a personal resident," Cuddy said, making her gasp. "They're communal property. Though, you are right and I've got someone figuring out who did what to the time clock." She put down the list, letting them all see it.
House nodded. "Seven of them are wise to be a week ahead of their hours so they have better time to move." He slid it to the next person. "So?"
"We have fourteen out of a hundred that are behind," Cuddy said. "Ten that have no human way of catching up." They all grimaced. "Some of you do have a good rapport with them; talk to them later." They all nodded. "Also, I've noticed there's some favoritism and some negative favoritism of some of the residents so all the evaluations you've done are now being audited." A few of them gasped. She stared at that group. "It was fairly clear, Dr. Vellows. You commented on how nicely she dressed. We all know she's an airhead but if that's the best thing you can say about her, we need to remove her from the program."
House laughed. "Those go to their programs so hers got a copy. She was Princeton, right?" Cuddy nodded. "So his ex-wife's seen them?"
"His sister-in-law gets them presently," she said dryly, looking at him. "Tell your wife no domestic abuse in the hallways this time please." He slumped down. House was laughing. "House, as usual, you're behind." He slid down a USB drive. "Thank you. Who?"
"Everyone but the fashion twits. I can't stand to be in the same room with them. I've never seen anyone that stupid."
"Some people bought their way into medical school," Rassenbirch sneered. "That twin...."
"Had drunk, lower class parents. He paid for it by working," House told her, looking smug. She slumped down. "You just hate it because they're male twins. We all noticed that you keep hiring fewer and fewer male residents."
"We have and that's a severe violation of our non-discrimination policy," Cuddy said. "Especially since most of the ones hired have non-gender names." She stared at her. "The board wanted to talk about that tomorrow. You're to be at that meeting." She got up and huffed off. "Since they're looking at two lawsuits by potential residents," she said dryly, looking around. "Deitrich, you're in charge. Make a new committee."
"I don't have time for that, Cuddy. Sorry but with my own kids having health issues I barely have time to get my own rounds in right now."
She nodded. "I forgot your kids just popped up serious health issues." House slid down a journal to him. "Vellows?" He nodded he could do that. He was on the current one. "Thank you." She looked around. "Any comments on the residents that need to be noted?"
"Someone needs to loosen up Harris and his vest wearing twin," one of them said. "It's like they're British stereotypes."
"They got partially raised by someone who lived steampunk," another doctor said. "She dressed them too. He said he didn't care as long as they were comfortable. Speaking of, I have noticed he has a real problem standing up to women."
Cuddy nodded. "I've seen that. Usually he'll go around them instead of getting into a conflict. That could be good but it can also cause him problems later. House, fix that for them."
"I can teach them how to argue," he said dryly. She nodded, looking smug. "Any other orders?"
"Not yet. Make sure they know they're going to be leaving in a few months, people. Most of them haven't even looked at job openings. No one's applied to have their resident paperwork sent to anyone." They all nodded, getting up and going to talk to their residents.
***
House showed up at the twins' apartment that night, getting let in by the other twin. He stared at his resident. "You have picked a new posting?"
"I'm still considering opening up an office," he admitted.
"So you'll finally build the tower that all guys like you want?" he joked.
"We could," Xander said. Then he shrugged and went back to his drafting table. "I've got a sudden deadline for an emergency case." He twirled his pencil while he thought.
Philip smiled at his mentor. "Here for dinner? We ordered but we can add on for yours."
"No." He stared at him. "Cuddy said you don't stand up for yourself against women."
"It's always better to let them have their opinions and then move around them to do the right thing," Xander said absently.
"There is that. I stand up to the residents plenty, House, but I'm not going to argue with a person above me. I'll go around them and fix things behind them because they're morons."
"That's a good way to get a bad reputation."
Philip shrugged. "Then I'll do research." House smirked. "I can."
"I'm sure you can." He stared at him for a moment. "You'll need admitting privileges at a hospital. That means so many hours of rounds a month." Philip nodded. "Where?"
"Here if possible. It's far enough away from Cleveland that it's safe enough but close enough to run in for emergencies."
"What's in Cleveland?" House asked. He shifted his stance.
"House, sit," Philip ordered, pointing at a chair. "We'd even let mass murderers sit so we could screw with their heads." He gave him a look. "As for Cleveland, remember all the girls you saw us fighting beside?"
"Unfortunately."
"Them. The next open spot that they're handling is there."
House stared at him. "Does Cleveland know this?" Xander nodded, making unhappy noises. "Someone get busted for code violations?"
"Half of it fell in," Xander said. "Thankfully without trapping anyone. That was the first thing I asked and the head guys gave me looks like I was stupid. I said it mattered to some of us." He looked back. "They're at the framing stage. We need to figure out what they did wrong and fix it."
Philip got up with a sigh, coming over to look over his shoulder. "That frame?" he guessed with a point. Xander nodded. "You've got an odd number of beams."
"On both sides. That one's in the back." He pointed. "They're too far apart. They're too weak. There's no cross-stress points." He made notes of all the faults. Then he emailed his boss about how strong the redesign should be. His boss said it should've been in earlier. Xander reminded him he had until the morning. No one had told him differently. His boss said that's because he doubted that they hadn't cleaned up any dead bodies. Xander sent him articles about why he asked.
His boss called to yell so he walked into the bedroom to complain back. Including that the news said that someone had been missing from the site as of that morning's report. His boss checked and apologized for doubting him but said that they had demanded an answer that afternoon and he hadn't wanted Xander to be there. So Xander came out to get his notes and went back in there to tell him what he had found. His boss agreed with all but two of them. He checked the plans and agreed it'd have to be handled.
Xander still had his last few weeks of internship and two different things he had to submit for. Xander sent over one of them and where he was on the second. His boss laughed at the first one but Xander sent the real plan instead of his fantasy drawing of what it should be. His boss liked that one and said he'd look it over the next day. The other one got talked over. They wanted something very traditional. Xander sent over an idea and his boss agreed it'd work. So Xander drew that out and sent out a preliminary set of ideas. His boss sent back a 'better but color it normal human colors'. Xander came out to flop down. Philip looked at him. "They decided they were offended that I asked about the guy that the news report said that was still missing."
Philip nodded. "Some people are dumbasses. Where are we going to set up shop?"
Xander considered it then pointed. "That end of town. Or closer to the boonies." He looked at his twin. "Stay on the east coast and out of Cleveland but ready to jump in if necessary. Or with that other situation."
Philip snorted, smirking at him. "I think he underestimated us."
"Probably. Everyone does," Xander quipped, smirking back.
"No, some of us know you're dangerous," House said. The twins grinned at him. He felt the need to run and hide behind Wilson. It was an odd feeling and one he should probably follow. He stood up. "You two be good and be more assertive around the bitches we have. It makes Cuddy happy for respectful bitchslapping going on." He left them to plot world domination or whatever those two did on their downtime.
Xander grinned at Philip. "We really don't need a tower."
"Not hardly," he agreed with a smile. "Nice house." Xander nodded. They got up and went to their hidden magical workroom. Things had to be handled quickly and easily. Including a new dose of healing potion. Philip had felt a problem earlier that day.
***
Philip walked into another doctor's office, closing the door. "Dr. Wilson?" He smiled at him. "You know who I am, right? House blabbed and all that?"
"He did."
"Good, then let's schedule you for brain scans. Today." He put the forms down. Wilson stared at him, mouth open. "Part of being a healer means that I can feel huge problems." He gave him a pointed look and a pen. "You've got an opening in about two hours. So do they."
"I should," he agreed, taking the pen to sign it. "How bad?"
"Oncology isn't my field," he said quietly, staring at him. "I have no idea."
Wilson nodded. "Thank you."
"Welcome. The world needs more good doctors. Before the whores I'm in the resident class with take over and I have to go on a killing spree." He smiled and left him to handle things.
Wilson laughed. "Some year he'll take over for House." He got up to make sure he was scheduled for that time. He was and the nurses weren't quite giving him pity looks but they knew that emergency scans only happened for a few very bad reasons.
***
Wilson found House that night, staring at him. "Have a beer with me?" he asked. He was way too calm. He knew that it'd happen but right now he was too calm and he needed to break.
House looked at him. "I can pick up some. Go to my place and wait, James." Wilson walked away nodding. House stared at his back then went to talk to one of the gossiping nurses. "What happened?"
She gave him that same pitying look. "Dr. Wilson had a brain scan suddenly earlier," she said quietly.
"Fuck."
"We don't know how bad it is. It could be migraines."
"Yeah, maybe. He's had a few. Who arranged it?" She shrugged. "Thanks." He walked off, grabbing some stuff and heading for his motorcycle. On the seat there was a small envelope. It was a gift card to the liquor store. "I didn't know they sold gift cards." He tucked it into his pocket and drove there to pick up what they'd need for an epic bender. That answered who figured it out.
***
Philip looked up from his reading in the park on one of his few days off when someone stomped toward him complaining about his designs. "Dude, you've got the wrong twin. I'm Philip." He smiled slightly. "But I'll gladly share your viewpoints with Xander, who was at work the last I knew."
The man stared. "You're *twins*?" he demanded with a sneer.
"Yes, and I'm a doctor." He grinned. "Why do you ask?" The man pulled a knife and Philip dented his book hitting the guy in the face with it. "Huh. Oh, Officer," he called loudly. "Do I need to scream like a damsel or kill him myself?" he called when he spotted one. The officer jogged over. The man was groaning about his broken nose. Philip pointed at the knife. "He decided me being a twin was bad and he had been complaining about my twin's design work."
"Houses?"
"He's doing an internship with an architect uptown." He smiled.
"Sir, do you have ID?" the officer asked. Philip pulled out his PPTH ID, holding it up. "That's cool, sir. He had that knife?"
Philip looked and pointed. "He had the silver one. The other one must've fallen out. It's not mine." He patted himself down. "No, not one of mine."
"Doctors carry knives?"
"Do you know how many problems we see in the ER?" he asked dryly. "I'm a resident, Officer. We see them all to spare the more highly trained from being killed."
"That makes sense I guess." He called in for help and another officer showed up to help him arrest the guy and get all the knives he had on him.
Philip looked at the guy's hands, pointing. "Recent injuries, fighting marks instead of scratches. Within the last two hours unless he's a really slow healer." He looked at his face then his neck. "You have another victim somewhere. He's got dried blood on his throat." He pointed at it. "Behind his ear too. Someone does not bathe very well," he told the idiot, staring at him. "What ritual were you doing? Or are you just against twins?" The man tried to kick him. Philip smiled. "Do continue." The man backed down, shaking his head. He looked behind himself. "Ah, my beloved twin." He grinned.
Xander walked around to look at him. "Do I need to go find your victim for them? I'm that badass and I did do my minor in forensics." He smiled. "The things you learn sometimes, huh?"
"No! No! I'll make it so I don't have to face the next apocalypse! They'll never come for me!"
"Great, so you're sacrificing people to protect yourself?" Philip asked.
"Or are you trying what Wilkins did?"
The man swallowed. "Oh, God, you are them." They smiled. "Your blood would let me skip years of steps."
"Our blood is very hard won," Xander said, staring into his eyes. "You'll never get there." The man tried to bite him. Xander grabbed his chin and stared at him. "You're not worthy." The man started to cry. "You have a great life and remember, confessing gets you mental health you clearly need." He wiggled his fingers with a grin.
Philip nodded. "I don't think all the drugs in the world will help him." He looked at his twin. "Though it's nice he has laurel leaves if I'm not mistaken." He pointed at the guy's shoes. The officers looked then at their captive. He was already babbling about needing the twins' blood to go with the others' so he could create the perfect calling ritual. The twins sat on the bench and pulled out drinks, sandwiches, and books to read.
One of the officers stared at them. "You two are really weird."
Xander grinned. "Thank you, I'm an engineer."
"That explains a lot, kids."
Philip smiled. "I'm a doctor, it's not my fault." The officers nodded and walked their captive off. He looked at his twin. "We should have ice cream for avoiding something like that."
"We should, or go find someone nice at the clubs."
"Could. I actually have all night until tomorrow night off." They shook hands. "How's work today?" He got into his book.
"I'm not sure if my boss is under a spell to suddenly hate me." He shook his head, eating his sandwich. "He's had PMS all day it seems like."
"Some men do get it as well. Probably from his higher ups."
"Possibly." He dug into his lunch, making sure he got back in time. He walked in ten minutes early with Philip carrying something for him. He handed the other intern his lunch and Philip put down the carrot cake muffins box then winked at Xander and left. "Absolutely healthy, no sugar added, no frosting but there's packets in there if you want to add some," Xander quipped. "Lots of fiber from the carrot cake." He sat down. His boss was staring at him. "Philip's in a happy mood. He finally had a whole day off."
"I heard residency is hard," his boss said. He stared at him. "The higher ups wanted to know what you were doing after this year?"
"My brother and I are going to set up joint offices." His boss stared. "We're still arguing over here in town or somewhere else." He started a new pot of coffee, then looked at his boss. "I'm not really corporate material as it's been quoted to me repeatedly," he said quietly. His boss sighed but nodded. "I'll take referrals or someone asking me to input on a drawing but I have stuff I want to design."
"That's actually a good thing. There's only one opening and it's at rookie level."
Xander grinned. "Your boss hates me and I realize that. I'm not the uptight asshole he is."
"Good point. He does. He's been chewing on me all day."
"I wondered who had set the PMS spell," Xander quipped, going back to his desk. "You might want to call your later meeting. He tried to stab Philip in the park." He grinned. "He was killing twins."
"Shit," he muttered, going back to his desk to call them. "His supervisor is coming."
"That's cool. He can have a muffin too," Xander quipped.
His fellow intern stared at him. "What warped you?"
"She's about five-five, a redhead, and is *convinced* she's the Goddess and always right. She thinks I'm terribly normal, can't really do anything, and I've known her since kindergarten. She was my best friend for years."
"That explains a lot," he decided, getting up to look at the muffins. They were nicely moist and barely sweetened but the optional cream cheese frosting was decadent.
Xander got back to work on his current project. When someone came in complaining about their supervising manager being under arrest, Xander kept his smile to himself. One of them spotted him anyway, it was only the two interns in this room. "Who're you?" he demanded. "The police said you're a doctor."
Xander looked at him. "I'm the other twin. He's a doctor, I'm an engineer." He smiled. "We're simply fantastic and Philip was the one that nearly got stabbed." He stared at him. "Not like he's the first I've seen trying to take out others. There was one back during our undergrads that was killing sorority sisters for being loose whores." The man flinched. Xander stared at him. "Thankfully, Philip disarmed him with a book." His boss cleared his throat. "We had lunch."
"I know. A book?"
Xander smiled. "Those things you read that aren't electronic? Philip found a new ancient sci-fi series in a thrift store." He grinned. "It looks interesting but I think half the point was to be scared of the aliens and their sexual needs if you were a guy since they were killing all the women but not the men."
His boss shook his head. "Figures." He let the two men into his office. "His twin dropped off some carrot cake muffins if you'd like some, gentlemen, or some coffee. The muffins are no sugar added and have optional frosting."
"No, thank you anyway," the one in charge said. He looked at Xander then at him. "Do you have many problems?"
"Now and then he goes a bit more toward the steampunk prettiness than standard cubism or realism."
"It takes all kinds," the lower manager said. They settled in to go over the plans they had brought with them that needed fixing so they were up to code.
***
House looked up as Philip walked in to sign in for his overnight shift. "So, how long before your brother has a working ray gun? I know they're an ideal for guys like you?"
Xander looked around then undid his vest and pulled his off his back waistband with a smile. "Not that hard." He put it back and hid it again, redoing his vest and signing in.
House stared at him, mouth open. "That's a laser application."
"I know that." He smiled. "I've used it in duels before too." He walked off. He ran into a familiar figure in the ER, staring at him. "Sir, are you supposed to be back here? It's really only authorized personnel and suffering people," he said dryly.
The demon smirked at him. "I do like to see some suffering, boy."
"Watch me destroy you."
"I could go back and fix it."
"Not without you dying." He batted his lashes at him. "And you know it." The demon smirked. "Problems?"
"What are you going to do with the problem that's taking out all those girls?"
"I've already dealt with it as far as I know." The demon blinked. "Why let problems get that far?" He moved closer, staring at him. "Really, it's not up to you what we do."
"Hmm. We'll see. You aren't really in my plans."
Philip laughed. "Really? You sure you've planned correctly?"
"The same ones will go after the girls."
"The girls are protected by the PTB. I'd like to see that match," he said dryly. "Then again, I saw one of them here last week. Pity." The demon flinched, staring at him. "Really, Crowley. I know everyone underestimates us but *really*. Aren't you better than that?"
"You're in the way."
"I'm fantastic at it too," he quipped with an evil smirk. "The same as I am at poisoning and you've got about an hour to find an antidote." He held up the squirt bottle he had taken from his pocket. The demon looked at himself then disappeared. Phillip put the bottle back and walked off to wash his hands. "That was charming," he decided, pulling out his bluetooth headpiece. "Beloved twin of mine, just had a visit." He smiled. "Of course I did. He said we're fantastically in the way. I think we should become poster boys for it. You?" He laughed. "Great." He hung up and put his earpiece back in his pocket then grabbed his jacket to check over and gloves to put on. The nurse staring at him made him smile. "He precipitated some changes in our lives to save his own plans."
"That sucks."
"Especially since he thinks he's a highly ranked demon who's going to take over hell some day soon. I really don't think Mr. Crowley has any idea what he's run into this time." He strolled off. She was gaping. He knew she was a partial demon. She knew he knew. She was also a huge gossip. "Tell your mother I said hello."
"I can do that, Knight," she mumbled, pulling out her phone to text her mother. That was bad news in the making. She looked up to find House staring at her. "I can tell my mother about nutty residents who need more sleep."
"I'm sure you can. The same as she should send you lotion." He pointed at her arm and the scales that were trying to come out of hiding. She blushed and made sure of her form, walking off to take a break. House followed the twin. He was there when the kid was attacked, just too far away to help. The guy who leapt out of a solid wall to pounce him got stopped by a silver looking stick.... House walked over, looking at the wall then at Philip. "Cute."
"Not my doing." He smiled. "I need to talk to him."
"So do the cops."
"They'll probably find he's a dead man. They usually are." He walked the man outside. Two more angels appeared to kill him. Thankfully Xander was waiting against the building reading. One went down to him and Philip got the other one. Philip looked at the one he froze. "Really? You're going to try this?"
"You made a deal," he sneered.
"To stop Rosenburg," he said. "Before she finished destroying the earth. It let us beat the First Evil easier." The angel blinked. "You didn't see that? Dude, how far behind are you?"
"We can feel the deal."
"To save us from the shit she started. Go look."
Xander pulled out something and did a spell then handed it over. "You can check it."
The angel saw that moment and stared at them. They shrugged. "You're still wrong."
"We're still hunters too," Xander warned, taking his compact back. "Have been since we were teens working with a slayer."
The angel blinked. "They all died."
Both twins snorted. "Really?" they asked in unison. "Willow?" She appeared, glaring at the being.
"This kind angel, whose people are trying to start their own apocalypse, think all the slayers are gone."
She snorted. "Like heck." She took him with her. "Giles, we have issues. Now even the good guys are starting apocalypses."
"Had to happen sometime," Buffy quipped. "We've seen everything else." She looked at him then at Willow. "The twins?" She nodded. She looked at the angel. "Let me guess, you felt where they made a deal to save themselves from Willow? I do sometimes too but not always. They've used it to stop a lot of plans."
"They cannot stop us and slayers are weak half-breeds," the angel sneered.
Willow touched him on the head. "You're awfully brave and they can't get in here. We heard about this when Xander and Philip saved the hotty hunters in a cemetery." The angel gaped. She smiled. "We all think they're normal but they're also kinda mean. That life in that other realm he sent them to so they could heal from the black magic I shot at them when I lost it, they taught them to be very mean."
"And to wear vests," Buffy quipped. Two beings kicked in the back door, making her lean back to look at them. "Black eyes are demons, right?" she asked.
"Yeah, like this angel they're possessing beings," Willow said.
Xander appeared, tapping one on the shoulder and slugging him when he looked. Then he attached something to his back and sent him back with a reverse summoning. He killed the other one. He grinned and waved. "It's great when humanity is the third side in the battle." He disappeared, going to see the ones he had saved. He stared at the one he found. "Well." Sam flinched, staring at him. "They're going to try it again."
"We know. Dean's ...they couldn't take the contract."
"They're trying the slayers, Sam." He sat down across from him. "They tried me and Philip earlier. We're not pleased. That's why I used something Philip and I jointly created to send back with one of the idiots they sent to Cleveland."
Sam shook his head. "Which side?"
"We've seen both tonight." He smiled at the angel walking his way. "Did you guys not pay any attention? It's worse than the Powers That Be do." The angel flinched. "You'd figure that you'd realize that I made a deal to stop Rosenburg from destroying everything. And to take the magic that she had stuffed in me before I exploded but still to mostly stop her."
The angel stared at him. "Why would you do that?"
"Because Rosenburg was about to end the earth," Xander said bluntly. "Then I stopped her." The angel looked up then at him, looking so confused. "You guys know what scrying is?" The angel slowly nodded. "Good. Go back about seven years and start watching the Sunnydale team. Because we're not letting humanity fall and if we see more of your side or their side, we get to be mean." He smiled. "We're not pleasant. We learned that really early on."
Sam shook his head. "I heard. I had someone look."
Xander grinned. "Have you seen the site the betting society among the inter-realm demon communities keeps? It's got listings of all of us because they bet on things we do. We're not allowed to make money that way unfortunately."
"There is?" Sam asked. Xander pulled out his phone to show him by pulling up Sam's profile. He held it up so he could see it. "Shit, there is." He took it to read over. "It's pretty right too."
"They pay attention," Xander said with a smug look. He looked at Dean as he strolled over with an older guy. "Hey, Dean." He looked at Sam again. "By the way, you can do a reverse summoning to send them back."
"Don't say that in here, kid," the old guy said. "We're hunters."
"I worked with slayers," Xander said with a shrug. "We had to use it sometimes, even after Willow had her addiction problem." He took his phone back, grinning at Sam. "Buffy's so very pissed off at this. It's making her hair frizzy. She's at the point of not sleeping like she does during apocalypse season. She's about to sic Willow on people." He gave him a pointed look. "And tell her to do whatever she has to do."
"Shit," Dean muttered. "We can talk to her."
"Demons broke in to try to take out slayers earlier, Dean." Xander stood up, letting him have his seat back. "Between them and the angelic assassins we took out earlier, we're not amused." He looked at the angel. "Slayers aren't gentle and we don't play by any rules of any higher being. Our higher being is it has to happen to save everyone. Do you understand?" he asked.
"I'm siding with the Winchesters."
"Then spread it back, baby." He smiled and turned, pulling out his ray gun to shoot the guy stomping through the doors. "I don't think we needed more demonic help today. Your kind have already pissed me off. Do it again." The crispy body died. "Good." He put the gun back and grinned at the angel, who was giving him a horrified look. "Look at *why* and *what* we did. It's educational." He smiled and disappeared.
Sam pulled out his phone to get onto that same site, looking up Xander. "The inter-realm demon societies we heard about from the slayers have active betting societies."
"Figures," Dean agreed. "Probably helps when the bad ones want to avoid being stopped." He sipped his beer. Sam found Xander's profile and read it then handed it to Dean. Who choked. "That's bad." He kept reading, going to the associated files. "Rosenburg. Fuck." He kept reading, letting Bobby have it. He looked at Castiel. "They'll help protect humanity but they will end people."
"And did," Bobby said, looking at the pile of ash. "Who has a ray gun?" He went back to the first page to read. "Well, that explains the magic," he said dryly. "Who made that deal?"
The angel sighed. "Crowley." They stared at him. "It helps by getting people out of his plan's way." The hunters all nodded. "He's not to be taken lightly."
Crowley appeared, looking smug. "I didn't even ask for a sliver of their soul. The slayers needed it to stop the invasion later on and to keep themselves strong." He grinned at the boys then at the angel. "The Powers That Be are in an absolute fit throwing tizzy over their warriors. I'm so happy."
The angel glared at him. "Your side won't win either."
"I don't have any plans to take out masses of humanity. Therefore I'm not on their radar."
Philip tapped him on the shoulder and smiled. "How did you like that bomb my beloved twin sent to hell?"
Crowley smirked. "It nicely took out one of my rivals."
"Great. Did you manage to cure the old poison? I doubt the same cure will work on this one." Crowley growled and disappeared, wiping at his back. He smirked, handing the angel the bottle. "Here, it comes in handy." He smirked at Sam, ruffling his hair. "One of the younger slayers wanted me to do that," he said at the angry look. "She thinks you need petted like a puppy. She's only six though." He looked at the angel. "Castiel, don't try the slayers. Ever. It's a war you won't win because we can send bombs to your people the same way and we'll end it because we know what fucks the supposedly good can be." He stared at him. "We've seen them plenty of times. Neither side's going to win this war. Humanity's going to lose a lot and even then it won't help. Do you really want to do that to yourselves?"
"I'm siding with the Winchesters," he said.
"Yeah, but we kill any other ones we meet." He smiled and pulled the being he sensed sneaking toward him and killed him. He handed him over. "We've been the enemy of fuckers since we were turned into hunters. Both sides suck. Tell the others, okay?" He grinned. He looked at Dean. "They can still try to take out your brother. Look at your own files on that site, Dean. Really." He disappeared.
Bobby blinked, finding them. "You do have a brother. It's listed." Dean snatched it to look at it. It listed his address. They could gather him. Bobby looked at Castiel. "They think you're a good messenger."
"I am," he said. "Though I'm very confused about them."
"The Powers That Be made him into a hunter," Sam said quietly. "To help by being the foil of their slayer. Then they hated him for being the foil and helper of their slayer. They're apparently worse at being higher powers than yours are."
Bobby nodded. "From what little anyone knows about them, yup. Fuckers sounds about right too." He looked at the phone, taking it to look up the name of the slayer he knew. That led to the Council's information page. "There's over six hundred slayers," he mouthed. "Oh, dear."
"We'll need 'em," Dean said as he came back. "Dad knew. He visited him." Sam glared at the wall. "We'll meet him in a few days."
"Good," Sam said. "Before they turn him into a pawn." Dean nodded, gulping some beer. He looked at Bobby. "At least it's not six guys against the universe."
"I called Buffy too," Dean said. "She was sobbing over the slayers' puppy being killed by a few angels. She ripped one to shreds since they don't read as human to slayers. I told her what was going on and she vowed that it'd be ended, even if she had to die again."
"Again?" Castiel asked. Dean and Sam both nodded. "Why again?"
"The Powers over them decided that to counter a planned invasion by an evil law firm of all things, they'd start the First Evil prophecies," Dean said, looking at Bobby.
"Takes a few slayers, not sure how many."
"Seven," Dean said. "She quipped that it had taken seven so no wonder they needed over a thousand, some not on patrol yet. She also said that's probably why Xander got pushed into the deal so they had a higher power with stronger magic." He looked at his little brother.
"They do, and they have other skills that people ignore," Sam said. "They had a ray gun."
"I saw," Bobby said. "I didn't think we had hand-held laser applications."
Castiel cleared his throat. "If they were raised on that realm, they were raised with them possibly, and the magic." The guys nodded at that. "They're on a semi-Victorian timeline." He rubbed his forehead. "This is going to get messy."
"Yup," Dean agreed with a nod. "It will." He looked at Bobby. "They said something at the cemetery you were looking up."
"It only made 'em stronger and taught them more about hunting. I'll show you the books later." The Winchesters nodded. "This is going to be too messy."
"Or not," Willow said as she appeared, handing over the angelic assassin. "He's learned better." She stared at him. "Haven't you?" He nodded, trying to hide behind Castiel. "He's just a guy too." The angel whined and tried to disappear. She smiled at the hunters. She put down a diary. "Xander left that for me after the battle of Sunnydale. That way the girls could know what the other realm did about demon hunting. If it helps, we're more than happy to share." She kissed Sam on the cheek. "Miranda said you're sad and she hates that good guys are sad. She's six though..."
Sam looked at her. "Does she have visions?" Willow nodded. "Bad ones? Headaches and all that?"
"Xander found something that helps his." Dean stiffened, leaning forward. She grinned. "The magic activated it like it did Philip's healing gift and Xander's crafting gifts, plus their magic. Apparently they were dueling champs at one point."
"Then why give fair warning?" Dean asked.
"Because you honor your enemies," Castiel said. "By letting them know they've gotten in over their heads." He looked at the journal then at her. "The Brotherhood trained them?"
"They restarted it." Castiel slumped. "They apparently had an alien invasion right before they died over there. They're not happy. They were wanting less stress. We can't find out what they did over there. Even the demon betting boards won't mention most things and a few are clearly in code since they're cutesy names." She shrugged and disappeared.
Dean looked at the file on Xander, looking at the link to 'that other world' and staring at it. "What's the Destroyer of the Well?"
"Which well? There's three or four in mythology." Bobby asked. He took it to look at. "The Well of Souls? How in the hell?"
Castiel sighed. "This is going to be very bad and mostly evil." He shivered as a chill went over him. He looked up. "I hope they're paying attention and understanding what they've started."
"Probably not. They're arrogant," Sam said. "Like the ones over the slayers." Dean nodded, turning off the phone and handing it back to his brother. "At least we have help."
"We have a lot of help, and some of it's faced yearly apocalypse battles," Dean said. He smiled. "I'm a lot more confident with slayers behind me."
Sam nodded. "Me too." They looked at Bobby, who was gulping his beer. He nodded he was too. Castiel was just tired sounding. That was probably a bad thing.
***
Philip looked up on his dinner break, sipping his coffee while listening to higher, incorporeal beings scream at each other. "Take the hint," he said quietly into his cup. He'd get a lot of funny looks for talking to himself if they caught him. House sat down across from him. "Higher beings have *plans*."
"Great," he said dryly, staring at him. "What are you hearing that we can't?" He touched his wrist, opening it up a bit so he could her too. He looked up then at him. "Is that normal?"
"No. They're complaining a lot and someone is funneling it my way." He sighed and tapped out a text message to Xander. Who could yell at the higher being doing the funneling since he was at home. He put his phone up and finished his coffee. "Have a good dinner break, Dr. House. Also, there's a new case in the ER you may be called in on but it's neuro related." He got up and walked off, getting a new cup of coffee to take with him.
House followed to the ER, staring at the head nurse. "I was warned I'd be summoned rudely on my way home?"
She smiled and pointed. "Six neurologists and they can't figure a thing out about that kid's case." She handed over a CT scan print-out.
House held it up, walking that way. "None of you are older. Did you guys get any classes on weird things you'll never see?" They all shook their heads.
"Yes," one of the residents who wanted to be a neurosurgeon said. "We had a week of it." He came over to look at the CT. "The teacher mentioned something that looked like Parkinsons in a baby's brain. Said it was really rare, like six cases in the last twenty years." House smirked at him. "I'm right?"
"Most likely." He handed over the CT printout. "Ask the ancient ones about it, guys. I'm not sure how they fight it without having to look it up."
"No wonder we have no idea," one of the doctors said. He looked at the CT. "That's...really nasty." He looked at the kid. "What did the teacher say to do if you found it?"
"Find a really old neurologist because there were more cases in the sixties that got noted around the world, and to look in old journals."
"Not a bad idea. We have one that old but he's retired." He walked off to call him. "Doctor Morgans, it's Doctor Pierce at the ER. I know you're retired but we just caught a case that's only had six known cases in the last twenty years and it was suggested that doctors who were active in the sixties or seventies might've seen more." He listened. "Looks like Parkinsons but it's in a little child. Four."
He listened. "That's what the teacher told the resident and House agreed that we needed older docs this time. Please. Thank you, sir." He hung up. "Doctor Morgans knew what I was talking about, he's never handled a case. He knows someone who has and is still in good health. He's calling him to consult with us." The other doctors and the mother nodded. They were looking up the problems to see if they could find it. They hoped there was at least a treatment.
House walked off feeling proud of a resident. It was an odd feeling but nice that they weren't *all* stupid. Even if he caught Harris grappling with someone. "Knock him out, Harris," he called.
"He's high," he called back. "I'm trying not to do any further damage to him." He ended up doing a throat strike then kneeing the guy in the face when he bent over to catch his breath. "Stop it," he growled. "Before I turn you into mulch." The guy was crying, holding himself. "Good. Get on that bed and stay there." He pointed. The patient moved slowly but Philip helped him onto it. He also hitched him down. "Give me shit and I'm going to make your next few days miserable. Am I clear?" The guy nodded. "Good. Stay there, calm down, don't move." He walked off pushing back his hair. The head of the ER was giving him a look. "House approved force," he defended.
"I would've done it sooner, or gotten him with a sedative."
"Since he's so high on PCP and who knows what else, a sedative is contraindicated."
"Point. Where's his toxicology scan?"
"He fought back when I went in to take blood." Philip got what he needed and went back in there. "I need to draw blood." The guy tried to curl up. "I can be nice or mean. I'm very gentle but I still need three tubes of blood." The young man nodded. "Good boy." He drew out the blood and wrote on them, then bandaged the mark so he could take it to the lab. He walked in. "Toxicology please. He's mightily higher than the sky and combative."
The lab tech handed him a form. Philip filled it out. "Welcome, Dr. Harris."
"Thank you, Paul. I ended up having to be mean to stop him from crushing me." He walked off. The guy was out of the straps and trying to force a nurse to cuddle him. "Do you really want to go into a padded room overnight?" he asked firmly. "Back on your bed!" He pointed. The man mumbled and turned, pouting at him. "Here, one hug then go lay down." He let the guy hug him then he went back to bed. "Thank you." He looked at the nurse, who was smiling. "I give excellent hugs," he said dryly. "Everyone wants one." He smiled. "Everyone good?" She nodded, going to make note on the guy's chart. Philip checked his pockets and went to get his penlight from the guy then went to see his next patient. The head doc of the night just shook his head as he made notes for Cuddy in the morning. When they got the toxicology panel, Philip looked at it. "I haven't seen anyone have that much in their system since a frat party played 'bowl of pills'."
The head doc came to look. "You can't give him anything to help. It's all crossed over."
Philip looked at him. "We can give him time, aspirin, and water or gatorade. It'll help the most no matter what else we try." He let the nurse put it into the chart and got him some water. The guy was happily napping it off. He'd probably still be napping it off the next day. Xander leaned out when he heard angry 'coach' voices, walking out there. The nurse held out the lab report. "Are you Mr. Huggy's coach?" he asked dryly, staring at him.
"Mr..." He pointed. "That's my football tight end, yes."
Philip held up the tox panel. "I'm not sure why he decided to play 'what does this pill do' but he did. He'll be detoxing well into the weekend. I'm still deciding if he's going to observation because he's a bit violent. I had to knock him down earlier." The coach winced. "You can have him back to have a good, long talk with him when his parents have been told as he's barely eighteen." He stared at him. "Them first."
"Fine," he agreed. "Is he being admitted to psych?"
"If he turns violent again, yes. If not, I'll be nice and put him into observation. Earlier he also tried to pin a nurse to get a hug." The coach whined. "I've been told the first workstudy paycheck and anytime a disbursement comes are usually bad nights for the college crowd coming in. What was his reason for celebration?"
"I think it was his girlfriend."
"Grand," Philip said dryly. "Should we be taking forensic evidence for the locals?"
"No. She's not reported a rape or anything."
"I haven't checked him for sexual congress. I can do so." The coach went pale, shaking his head. "She could have done something serious to him."
"She wouldn't dare! She's a woman!"
Xander snorted. "Women do assault others at times, sir. Including people they've drugged up so far."
"Shit."
"I'll have him checked and talk to him when he wakes up. Would you prefer to call his parents or should I?"
"I.... I don't have their number."
"I'll find his phone in his belongings and do so. You can have him back in a few days and he's still going to be miserable." The coach nodded, leaving to call others. He went in there to look at the guy. "Hey, George?" he asked quietly. The guy blinked at him. Philip closed the door and looked at him, walking to the side of the bed he was facing. "I have to ask a question. I don't want you to get upset, all right? Well, two questions." George nodded. "Did your girlfriend do anything evil to you while you were drugged up?"
"Evil?" he asked quietly.
Philip stared at him. "I need to know if I have to do a rape kit, George."
"She..." He sniffled. "No. I don't think so."
"Okay, I'll take a quick check in a minute. Second, I'm required by law to tell your parents. Which one do you want me to tell?"
"My mom's going to kill me."
Philip nodded. "Your coach is here."
"Damn." He pouted, putting his head back down. "Can't I be killed?"
"I'm a healer, not an assassin." He stared at him. "Want to tell me what happened so I can note it? That way you don't look like you intentionally OD'd?"
George sighed. "My girlfriend's got two friends and they were smoking stuff when I walked in. I tried to go but she talked me back up there and I didn't smoke anything but I felt funny."
"So a contact buzz?"
"What's that?"
"Second-hand pot smoke."
"Maybe. It was a really thick cloud." Philip nodded. "Then I took a tylenol from her because I had a headache." He sighed again. "Do you have to check me *there*?"
"I do because if she did something like penetrate you, you might have a tear. That will cause you a lot of problems and if you get an infection it might kill you." George nodded and shifted. Philip walked around the bed, putting on some gloves so he could gently remove the scrub pants he was wearing. "Good news, no sign of anything more foul than a sharpie." He pulled them back up and took off the gloves, letting George flip over. "She got artistic. She also wrote her name on you. Do you want to press charges against her?"
"No. I'd rather just break up with her."
"Okay. Do you want me to tell your coach what happened? And your dad?"
"No dad. Mom's divorced. Only been two years."
"Okay." He patted him on the hand. "As long as you stay non-violent and don't go to try to force hugs I'm going to admit you to observation so you can sleep it off. All right?" George nodded. "Good boy. You rest. I'll go talk to people. Your phone is in your bag?"
"I have no idea. The last thing I knew it was Tuesday after practice."
"It's just after midnight so starting into Thursday, George." The guy winced. "I'll talk to your coach." He patted him again and left. "Admit him to observation so he can sleep it off. He thinks we should've just started Wednesday," he told the nurse. Who winced but nodded. "Get his things so I can use his phone?" She nodded. He walked out to talk to the coach, pulling him aside to tell him what had happened. The coach winced but nodded he'd make sure no one else ever touched her. Then Philip got to make the grand call to his mother.
"Ma'am, I'm Dr. Philip Harris at PPTH hospital's ER. Are you George's mother? Your son is here but he's not *that* injured. By law I have to call you." He walked off to talk in the closet since it was private. "This is his phone, yes, ma'am. I'm having him admitted to the observation ward here because he unintentionally OD'd due to his girlfriend and her friends. No, he tried to walk away from her pot cloud but she talked him back. Then he took a supposed tylenol from her.
"Ma'am, his bloodwork is slightly horrific. I've seen less drugs from a frat party," he said bluntly. "He's refused to press charges against her. I've talked to his coach because he was here and he can tell the other guys to leave that girl alone. He can probably be released tomorrow but he's going to be miserable for days. So you do have time to talk to him about the folly of bad women. So far he's been a pretty good patient. The drugs made him a bit violent for a moment but I handled it as gently as possible and then he tried to force a hug from a nurse but otherwise he's mostly coming down. Yes, ma'am, it'll probably be a day. That's why he's going to observation. Thank you, ma'am.
"No, I told him that by law I do have to call you as he was OD'ing. That is the law here." He listened. "Exactly. Which is what I'm doing. I think he's learned his lesson but it's still going to be a rough week for him and it's nearly finals time as well. So in a few days you may want to talk to your son. Yes, ma'am, you have a better night as well." He hung up and walked back, handing the nurse the phone to put back into the property bag. He walked into the room, seeing George pouting at his coach. "Your mother is either exceedingly cool or she's going to skin you alive next week. I told her to give you a day to get out of here."
"Thank you."
"Not a problem. It is the law and I'd rather she be told the truth by me than by someone who misinterpreted it. I also suggested she talk to you about girls who are sucking you down. Women know others like that so she can tell you the signs to watch out for." He smiled. George laughed. Orderlies came in. "To observation, guys."
"Yes, sir, that's what the order says," they agreed. The looked at the adult male in there. "Family is allowed, sir."
"I'm his coach. His mom's in the midwest."
"He can go," Xander said. "There's visitors allowed up there. Unlike the ICU." He went back to get the report, showing it to George. "This is what was in your blood."
George looked at it and looked so confused. "I don't know what half of that is."
"*I* don't know what half of it is and I'm trained to identify it," Philip said with a smile. "Pick a better one?"
"Definitely. No more cheerleaders for me," he sighed. The coach nodded, following him being rolled up there.
Philip finished the file for the ER portion and sent it upstairs. He smiled at the nurse. "How easily a lover leads one astray."
"Yes they do. That's why I'm twice divorced," she quipped back. Philip laughed as he walked off. "I should have a talk with my daughter about drugs today," she decided. "Before she turns that evil."
***
Cuddy came in and got handed notes from the ER as she walked past the main desk. "That bad?"
"Yes," the receptionist said. "Someone attacked one of the residents. Then we got the mother of all drug cases."
She sighed, heading that way. It figured about both of them. Philip was taking a nap in the resident's closet, a nurse pointed when she saw her coming up the hall. She knocked and opened the door. He blinked at her. "Was the takedown necessary?"
"Yes. He was combative and trying to hurt me and others at that time. After making him choke and his nose bleed, he calmed down, wanted to hug a few times, then we talked like men. Then his coach showed up to talk to him and I did the mandatory mother calling since his tox screen was scary."
"Why was it scary?"
"It was three pages long, Dr. Cuddy. Unfortunately he had a girlfriend who led to that."
"I've seen other women like that. The assassination attempt?"
"More like the invasion starters only now they want to take out all of humanity. We handled it and moved on for the night," he quipped, smiling at her. "I have an hour left on my nap period."
"Fine." She shut the door and walked off to make notes in her office in case something happened again. Just a few more weeks and the residents would get to fledge and fly somewhere else. She hoped. Harris had private practice plans so he might need admitting privileges here.
***
Philip came out that night, smiling at his twin. "You drove?"
"I also made dinner." He held up the bag. Philip didn't quite snatch it but that was mostly because he was happy. "Eat. We'll go look for your new office area." Philip got in to rest and eat while Xander drove. They both looked back once they were on the road because someone had appeared. Xander snorted. "That's a pathetic Joyce Summers impression, dude. She wasn't that old when she died." He found a quiet spot and got out, letting the angel out. He stared at him. "Change back. She was like our mom. We'd hate to kill her but oh well if you stay in that form."
The angel changed back. "How is a healer a hunter?" he sneered.
Philip looked at him over the roof. "Not that hard. I was a hunter first. Then Rosenburg's little suicidal fit woke up the magic." He stared at him. "You're interrupting my first meal in nearly ten hours. Do you mind?"
"I'm an Angel of the Lord."
Xander cleared his throat. "Dude, don't even. First, we *both* have visions. We've *both* seen this problem. Including that your boss is on vacation." He stared at him. The angel glared at him. "Second, why would we respect anyone who tries to take out humanity."
"They're flawed," he sneered.
"Angels shouldn't feel greed or anger," Philip said in Hebrew, staring at him. "So look in the mirror." The angel stared at him, mouth open. "That's not your job, is it?" He walked around the car. "You guys started it when you didn't have to. What makes you think that those who have protected humanity are going to lay down and die this time?"
"We're angels."
"That's just proof that you're not worthy of following to most people," Philip said, shrugging. "Why follow you when you're that evil?"
"I am not evil!" he yelled.
"You are," Xander said. "Because you're trying to create genocide. No matter what alignment you started out as, you've switched. Humanity won't fall. There's plenty of people who can make sure of it, and I can teach Marines to meditate to get onto that plane so they can get up there and take you guys out if I have to. I have before." He stared at him. "Evil is as evil does," he said in Latin.
"You're not a healer."
"No, I'm a crafter," Xander said with a grin. "And a mage with visions." He took off his t-shirt, showing off the tattoo on his arm. "Notice the marking, dude. You've already lost."
"They were taken out here," the angel sneered.
"Good thing we spent thirty-five years on another realm," Philip said simply. The angel stepped back. Xander put back on the shirt. "You will not win. Even if you try to win, you won't win because then what happens when humanity's dead? You're out of a job." The angel lunged to hurt Xander. Philip stopped him, making him scream in pain. "No. You won't do that. What we did to your other side's problems earlier we can do to you. You'd make an impressive messenger to them." He stared at him. "As a matter of fact, we can end this all right now." He looked at his twin, who nodded and cast the temporal spell. They came back alone a few minutes later, smiling at the officer staring at their car. "We had someone in the backseat when we left the hospital. We had to take him home," Philip said. He looked at his twin, who grinned. "That was really neat. Here you think for the new medical clinic?"
"My office is still going in the back," Xander reminded him, looking around. "No, bit farther out but still on the bus route for your patients." They nodded and got into the car, driving off.
The officer stared at their car, then looked at his partner, who shook his head. "You looked like you recognized them."
"I do by reputation. They're strong, protective sorts." That got a nod and the other one got back into the car. "A few weeks back, one of them stopped someone trying to stab him in the park."
"I heard about that. Huh." They went back onto their patrol route now that they weren't checking an abandoned car.
Behind them in the clearing, a body fell, panting and bloody. He looked up then passed out.
***
Philip walked into his next shift, going to the ER. He stared at one file, going to check that one. "You're not a John Doe," he said. He moved closer. "Castiel?" He woke up. "Why are you here?"
"We were cast out," he said quietly.
"Then the evil won up there?"
"No. We found out why and we fought. We were all locked out."
"That sucks and I'm sorry but my highest priority is humanity," he said quietly.
"It was the right thing to do."
"It was." He touched him then walked over to close the curtains, nodding at the demonic nurse on shift to join him. She walked in with his file. "Watch for me." She nodded. He ungloved and touched Castiel's chest, healing him. "All I can do," he said when he let him go. "You're about seventy percent better."
"Thank you. My natural healing will finish the rest in a few days." He stared at him. "They hate you."
"They're going to hate me more if they come after me, Mr. Castiel. Gloria, you can amend his records, his name's Paul Castiel."
"Yes, sir," she said, doing that. She looked at him. "The trio of them and Rosenburg should make everyone safe. That's what the Powers wanted."
"They hate us so hard," Philip said quietly but smiled. "It's a punishment that we deserve sometimes though. Like the visions." He looked at him. "You'll be fine. We'll admit you for a few days." Castiel nodded. "I'll get word back to Dean and Sam."
"Thank you. And for the gift."
Philip shrugged. "I'm a healer, it's what we do. The same as Xander crafts."
"I've seen. I looked." He gripped his wrist. "Some will still try."
"And we'll be ready. The same as the slayers are. Even if it's the other side. See, he couldn't scry over there either." He grinned. "We're not what he expected when he made us the bane of battles."
"Good." He let him go and Philip soothed him into sleep.
Philip looked at the nurse, who smiled. "He shouldn't need an IV but if so, mark down he can have one. Have the priest on staff come bless it for him. He's highly religious."
"I can do that," she promised, taking down that note and leaving. He followed her. He spotted Cuddy and walked over to her. "May I have an opinion on my future plans?"
"You may," she agreed, letting him lead her to an empty room with real walls. "Who is he?"
He shut the door. "He's an angel. They were trying to end humanity and we've pretty much ended a lot of it. The same as the one who attacked me here was." She shuddered. "But it's mostly fixed. They had politics going on."
"Thar's horrifying."
"Yeah, it was. Especially since humanity was the third side." He grinned a bit. "Just did the healing thing."
"I expected that confession. Is he able to go home?"
"Not for a few days and I know people that'll come pick him up. I'll call them in a few. What do you think about the supposed bluffs region that's really flat?"
"Too far for a regular office. You'd never see regular patients out there." She smirked. "Try the poor section."
"I was going to sign up with the local charity people and the underground doc we have in town."
"Pick out by that development."
"I wanted on the bus route."
"There's a nice area by the park out that way. Still on the bus route. Only a block off it."
"That is a nice area. We drove around the park last night. Thanks, Cuddy." He left. He grinned at the staring mentoring doc. "Talking about where to put my future practice. Let me call his buddies. I know who he hangs out with." He walked off calling on his phone. "Sam, good. Philip Harris. Paul Castiel is here in my ER and needs picked up in a few days. He's got some light fight markings but they're healing nicely and it shouldn't be more than a few days." He listened. "That's great actually. If you guys need it, we have a couch you can bum overnight. Thanks. Yeah, here. Bye." He hung up and went inside, looking at Castiel. He put a post-it on his chart. "They're up by Chicago so it'll be about two days anyway," he quipped. He got his next case and went to see them. "Aww, is someone having ear problems?" he asked as he walked in to talk to the kid. They mostly liked him even though he hated kids.
***
What Causes to Become.