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One Little, Two Little, Three Little Knights, Four Little, Five Little, Six Little Xanders.

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Xander walked into the temple the next night, sighing in displeasure. "Okay," he said, nodding at the woman who had been gathered for him. "Don't stress out, Ms. Lewis. I'm not going to hurt you."

"You're holding Loki's staff. Why should I believe you?"

"I'm with the slayers. I'm using it to protect them." She moaned, shaking her head. "I need you to call out for Sif or one of them. I know we can't get Thor but we'll need him eventually. Especially since no one up there is paying attention to astronomy events. Before the convergence happens and we're all merged into one realm for a bit. We don't need HYDRA and that."

She winced, calling out to Sif. The woman appeared, attacking Xander.

He tripped her and moved out of the way. "I had her call you, Lady Sif. I'm Xander, the protector over the Slayers." She stared, glaring at him. "I'm holding them safe with the staff. Both staffs really." He put it on the ground beside him. "There's things that have to be heard. I'll give the staff to Thor once things have fallen out down here. His brothers in the Avengers will need him soon, and then you guys aren't paying attention to the convergence. Your ancient enemies come back as well and are then coming down here. I don't want to deal with elves."

She stared, backing off slightly. "What?" She visually checked Darcy then looked at him again.

He sighed. "Do you know what a slayer is?"

"I have heard of such and felt pity for them. I have also seen that more are called now."

"The First Evil got loosed."

She grimaced. "That is bad. It takes many?"

"It took seven. It also destroyed the old Council. The witch on the team out in Sunnydale activated the seven we need by activating them all. So now they're like normal women who have a choice to be warriors if they wish." She tipped her head at that. "Unfortunately, we have something coming back. HYDRA. The ones who had the cube originally? They're coming for us and others. They're trying to take over everywhere and destroy the slayers or other protectors. So I have the staff to protect them."

"I can see how that would help but it is full of foul energy."

He grinned. "I grew up on a hellmouth, Lady Sif. I'm full of bad energy. What's a bit more?" She tested him and groaned, shaking her head. He grinned. "Exactly. Also, found this down here," he said, nudging the other staff. "I'm using them to protect the slayers and others. But we called for a reason. SHIELD is going to be destroyed from the inside by the filth that used to have the cube."

"All right."

"Thor's friends, his brothers in battle down here, are in a lot of danger, but you guys have a worse one. There's a convergence coming. The aether is coming loose. The dark elves are coming and there's going to be great mourning when the palace is attacked by them. Including by two sons," he finished more quietly. She shuddered. "That's a merging one by the way."

"I will look into thus. I will also tell Thor of his brother's staff so he can come get it."

"I'll gladly hand them both to him once the problem threatening the slayers is done with."

She nodded. "Agreed. It is necessary since you're a mortal."

He grinned. "Yeah but I'm not the normal guy the girls think I am." He smirked at her. "If you have any way of getting to the Powers That Be can you please tell them?"

"They are not our sort of being. They're more a cosmic power."

"I know. They're also dicks who plan things generations in advance and don't pay attention to their maps. They've had battles planned with girls who died years ago." Sif winced. "Which I tend to fix for them, so they hate me."

"I can see why. You are mouthy," she said.

"You say some of the sweetest things, Lady Sif." He grinned. "I hope my daughter grows up like you."

"You have children?"

"I have four children. Created by these same people to be future warriors for them."

She rolled her eyes. "People always have such plots."

"Yes but mine came into being. They're adorable."

"I'm sure they are. Children often are." She considered him. "I could summon the staff."

He grinned, handing it to her. It zapped her, making her yelp and drop it. "It knows when there's a good reason. The stone has sentience." He picked it up. "I want no war with any but the demonic that started a war with me but I had to get to you so we could avoid one with Asgard."

"A good idea, noble one. I will let them know. Thank thee. Darcy," she said with a nod.

She grinned. "He had me brought so I could call."

"Only one of Asgard's own could call upon one of them," Xander said in Norse. "It was you or the warrior I took the staff of rage from."

Sif shook her head. "He was banished." He grinned back. "I will tell them thus." He tipped the staff toward her. "I cannot send myself back."

"Of course you can. Because otherwise the staff loses its protector." It sent her home. He looked at Darcy. "I'll have you escorted back."

"When is the convergence?"

"Six months."

"Damn."

"Oh, no, if it had happened like someone foresaw, Jane Foster would be full of the mystical, powerful aether."

"Damn it."

"Yup." He grinned. "Thank you, Miss Lewis. Have a better night?"

"Gladly." One of the demons escorted her home then went to tell the others what had been said. They knew of the convergence. They knew of the staves too. Harris was in a bad position but a strong one.

***

Steve walked into the abandoned house, looking at the man standing there. "Your kids all right?"

"They're good. You're not Steve Rogers." The man took off the image inducer. "Cute. Really."

"You can't hope to protect them. We know where your fallbacks are."

"You mean on another realm? We knew about the plants, dude. I knew and I told the others. There's a good reason we don't trust agents. And the two watchers that were loyal got left in Cleveland. Intent wards," he quipped. The agent pulled a gun and Xander killed him for it then turned him into a living zombie. "There, you'll do." He walked off. "Go tell your people not to touch the slayers unless they want to handle a demonic apocalypse?" The man stomped off. Xander grinned. "Good." He checked on the napping kids then looked at the staff of power. "Hmm. No, you're not that seductive. I don't want power like that. Thanks anyway. I'm only interested in protecting the innocent and keeping us from an invasion right now." It went quiet again because enough world changing chaos was going on with its use. Xander relaxed, reading a few short stories while he waited.

***

Sif made her way into the palace. "Odin, we must talk. I was summoned by a seer with Loki's staff."

He sat upright, staring at her. "Is he destroying Midgard?"

"He's protecting the Chosen Valkyries Who Battle. The ones who had the cosmic cube are trying to take over again and are against them." Odin grimaced. "He also said that we forgot about the convergence coming up. That the dark elves would make two sons mourn their mother before the worlds merged because the palace was going to be attacked."

Odin stared at her. "Tell me all he said, Sif. Seers are often cryptic."

"He was not, All Father. He was as clear as a sunny sky at noon." She looked. "She should hear." He got his wife summoned and she bowed to her and Thor. "You should hear as well, Thor. He had me summoned to tell you thus." She told them all that had happened and been told to her.

Thor stared at her. "I have barely heard of these warriors."

Frigga smiled. "They are under mine, Thor. They fight the demon menaces." He nodded once. "Those sort would be against a strength that would shelter people. It was a bad choice to take the staff but a powerful one they would have problems bypassing."

"Which is why he did that. He also said the same sort wanted to make future soldiers so made him children. He has four."

Frigga grimaced. "That poor man." Sif smiled at her. "We will handle thus. Thor, when you go back to help with that, you bring the staff back here to be put safely away."

"Yes, mother." He looked at Odin. "Should I go now?"

"Yes. It can only help strengthen the realm before it's destroyed," he said. Thor nodded, patting Sif on the arm as he walked past her. He looked at Sif. "This one, we know what of him?"

"He used to date Anyanka. It was in his aura. She marked him as hers."

Frigga shook her head. "A bravely stupid young warrior." Odin nodded, shifting in his seat. "Is he one that would've been gathered, Sif?"

"Yes, my queen. Gladly so."

"Then we will not harm him for doing what he must to protect the innocent queens of battle. I will also be preparing myself and others."

"I'll have that convergence looked into," Odin said.

"Sire, if the aether comes to Asgard, that means three cosmic sources of power here," Sif said.

"Point. We will handle it." She nodded, bowing and walking off. Odin sat to think about what he could do to help stop this serious problem. He couldn't realign the stars but perhaps he could handle other things. Jane Foster must not get infected with the aether. Thor may miss her but he could find someone more like him.

Frigga patted him on the arm. "If you should touch Jane Foster, he will kill you," she said quietly. "Warn the girl instead. She's a valuable ally." She left him to his plans. She could write a letter to that darling young woman who her son dated.

***

The quin jet from the airport landed on the top helipad, opening the back door so the people could walk out.

"Was this really necessary?" a young woman demanded.

"Yes," Clint said. "Shut up."

"Be nicer," Coulson ordered. "She's young and in training, Clint."

He looked at him. "Dead men don't give orders as you once told me. Then again, you died since then."

"That was the director."

"I'm going to thump him anyway." He pointed. "Inside, people." He followed with Natasha.

Steve straightened up, staring at them. "How?" he asked quietly.

"He used experimental things to bring me back," Coulson sighed.

Steve nodded. "If he had told us we would've helped you recover."

"I'm his hidden ace in the hole, Captain."

Steve nodded. "Sounds like Fury." He looked over at Stark then back at them. "Clint, the one that we heard was dirty?"

"Locked in a cage on the plane with a bomb if they open the door," Natasha said. "I do not put up with dirty agents." She walked around them. "The rest going on?"

"There's hints of strange things that aren't demons. We don't know what."

"I do," Stark said as he came off the elevator. "A young brunette woman just appeared thanks to the coven with a guy that's presently coming out of cryo stasis. She said he'd only be safe here." He looked at Steve. "It's bad."

"Do we know them?"

"You used to," he said. "And he hasn't aged a day since he fell off a train," he finished quietly.

"No. Nonono," Steve said, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry. JARVIS, pull up the infirmary footage." A virtual screen with a camera came up. "He's still down. It'll take a few hours for him to come up."

"That's ...one metallic arm. That's the Winter Soldier," Natasha said. Coulson winced. "Correct?"

"It sounds like his description, yes. Though that is Bucky Barnes. A clone, Stark?"

"No. Cryo frozen repeatedly. Brain waves are off too." He looked at Steve, helping him into a chair. "Deep breath, Steve." He got up and rushed down there. The film cut off. "He's had a lot of shocks." He looked at Coulson. "How?"

"Experimental drugs from a being that's probably alien," Skye said.

Stark nodded. "I've seen hints of those files. Charming of him. He's having to end a lot of things, including SHIELD."

"We can rebuild," Coulson said. "Why gather us?"

"You're safer with us," Stark ordered. "Half of SHIELD is compromised. A quarter of all other agents."

Coulson winced. "Damn it," he muttered.

"All but myself on Steve's mission team were HYDRA," Natasha said.

Coulson looked at her. "Rumlow?"

"Section head," Stark said dryly. "To take out Cap."

Coulson nodded. "Any idea who's in charge?"

"By what we've seen, one of the higher ups on the Security Council and someone named the Seer or something."

"The clairvoyant? That's Centipede," Skye said, glancing at Coulson. "We've been fighting against their ideas of making superior soldiers."

"The main group made kids for that," Stark said dryly. "I found out thanks to them using one of the guys at the Council."

"Wells?" Melinda guessed.

"Harris. He's got four kids and a ton of stored embryos thanks to these guys. Though there's some embryos with Wells' name on them."

Melinda May shuddered. "He'll make the kids hyper and bouncy like he can be. I ran into him in the field," she said when someone stared at her.

"Right now he's protecting the slayers with Loki's staff," Natasha said. Coulson shuddered. "It's not affecting him the same way."

"I'm sure." He looked at his people then at Stark. "Where can we help, Stark? We're not damsels in distress."

"Good. Go talk to Barton and Steve about field missions. I'm trying to find Bruce."

"He's in Honduras," Skye said. "We tracked him earlier in case they were going for him."

"That's good to know. Thanks." He walked off. "Romanoff, find them rooms and stuff."

"I can do that." She led them to rooms and got the geeks signed into the labs to help Stark. She and the hacker went looking for more information with Melinda May upping the security on the tower with Clint. Steve was left to sit with his lost friend for now.

***

Xander grinned at the man stomping into his abandoned house/lair. "Hey." He settled on a couch. "What's up?"

"You could have told me," his UK contact said.

"No I couldn't have. Your boss is one of them." He groaned, settling across from him. "I'm to the point where I trust no one but myself and one baby daddy that I'm pissed at because he told the others before I could."

"You have kids?"

"I have four kids." He smiled. "The same people decided they needed future warriors so made me kids. I should probably feel flattered they liked me that way."

"Probably," he agreed, grimacing. "That's going to suck for your dating life."

"Maybe."

"And for surviving this," he said, pulling a gun. The staff of rage hit him and knocked him out.

Xander got comfortable. "The staff and the hyena taint are getting comfy together telling me about people who aren't good for the cubs." He sipped his water. When his contact woke up he grinned. "Even if you take me out, Loki's scepter automatically will send itself to Willow for her and Andrew to use."

"That's threatening humanity, Harris."

"No. It's agreed to help me protect the slayers when I asked it to. Her it just likes. And it thinks Andrew's neat too." He smiled, sipping his water. He looked at his sleeping kids then at him. "You're not getting the kids back and you're not going to stop me from protecting the girls. I have all sorts of plans laid to come back as agent of vengeance to protect them."

The guy shuddered. "Never mind then. They can come talk to the girls later." He got up and stomped off.

Xander waved at his back. "Sure, they can try that. And the slayers can let you guys handle your own demonic emergencies too." He got up to get more water and check on the kids. They were safe for now and probably going to be hungry soon.

***

Buffy called Xander late the next night. "You know, we can't really let them handle it on their own."

"The two ascending demons are being handled by military people. The one in Spain is being handled by their people. The local community and Cleveland are both staying quiet because they know humans will turn on them to make them take the blame," Xander said, sharpening a knife. "The only slayers not with you guys are all safe."

"That's good. Your brood?"

"Playing beside me." He smiled at them. "Auntie Buffy said hi, guys."

"Mama!" one said.

"Awww, you finally talked! Such a great little girl, Joyceline."

"You...named your daughter...after Mom?" Buffy asked quietly.

"Yeah. I couldn't think of a better name for my daughter, Buffy."

She sniffled. "That's sweet. I would've thought your friend Jesse."

"He's in one of my son's names. The other two are Arlin and Henry."

"That's sweet. Thanks, Xander." She hung up.

Xander got down to play with them. "You guys are so great. Even Buffy said so." They grinned and threw stuff at him but he was used to it.

***

The day that SHIELD fell, everyone was watching tv. Coulson was on the phone calling for agents to prove themselves and show up safely somewhere. A few were going into hiding even though they weren't involved. They wanted out of SHIELD. The helicarriers were down. Steve was out of the way in the infirmary with his friend, who had no idea who he was, much less who Steve was. They fought each time he woke up but the fights were getting less violent.

The slayers were watching too. They had almost been attacked but the protections had held. The demon in Spain had gotten fought off by Buffy and a few others that had snuck there. The two ascending ones had been blown up thanks to regional militaries. They were proud they had handled it so easily. Though they had both said that they had wanted a slayer there to help them in case other things showed up. Unfortunately they were having to hide from bad agents who wanted to kill them. That's what got news crews to start asking questions, which was when Nick Fury had collapsed SHIELD. Other agents had fallen at the same time. Other agencies were trying to stop the flood of bad agents coming out of the woodwork.

In DC at NCIS, a few tried to get into a standoff on the agent floor. They lost and only a few good agents got injuries. Gibbs looked at the mess and ordered them cleaned up and everyone else found even if they had to find a lie detecting witch. The director was horrified but oh well. There were still doubts about where she stood. They didn't believe she was HYDRA but no one believed she was on the same side as Gibbs.

Thor showed up during it and smacked down one of the groups of agents trying to take hostages of good agents. Then he sneered at them. "I do not think that the honest ones among you need such incidences on their nightmares." He sneered at the others gathering. "Are you with them or the real agents and my brothers in battle?"

"We're on the same side as the good agents, Thor," one said. "Are you well?"

"Aye. I go to see them now." He walked off. A car pulled up and a door opened. "Do I know you?" he asked.

"Lord Thor, Tony Stark sent me to gather you so they don't try you again."

"Thank thee. Are you Happy?"

He smiled. "I am. Get in and I'll bring you to the tower." Thor nodded, getting in to go with him. He drove him off, avoiding a few attempts to fire at the car. "Sorry about all this."

"It is not your doing. It was explained to us by someone."

"That was nice of them." He pulled into the parking garage and they were let upstairs. "Stark?"

"Thanks, Happy. Thor," he said, shaking his hand. "Steve's in the infirmary with a friend he found injured."

"That's fine. I'll see Steven soon." He shook the other's hands. "Son of Coul?"

"Fury had him brought back with alien experimental fluids," Stark said. "Want something to drink?"

"Please. The one that has my brother's staff?"

"London, but he's watching over Jane and Darcy as well," Clint said. Thor smiled and nodded. "We can call him later."

"That's fine."

Stark's phone rang with a text message. "He'll be here after he handles the few bad agents there that are trying a last ditch effort at a kid's school to get a few slayers that didn't go into hiding. He'll even bring the daughter." He sighed. "What am I going to do with a daughter?"

"Raise her with love, kindness, and to kick butt," Clint said. "That way she's not vulnerable to assholes who'll want her for your name."

"He didn't give her my name."

"Doesn't mean people don't know," Clint said with a grin. "She's pretty too."

"Don't give me thoughts about guys like me wanting into her panties when she's twenty," he shot back.

"You're gonna be lucky if she's twenty," Clint said with a smile for Thor.

"Hopefully she'll be happy with whatever sort she decides should be hers," Thor said diplomatically. Steve came off the elevator. "Steven. How is your ailing friend?"

"He's fine physically but mentally they compressed his mind so he doesn't remember anything."

"That sounds foul."

"Same people," Clint said.

"Ah." He nodded, patting Steve on the arm. "If at all possible he'll be fine. If he's that dear to you he's as stubborn as you are."

"And then some," he agreed, patting him on the arm. "How are things up there?"

"In a bit of a tizzy. We had forgotten there's a convergence coming. It will mean all the realms touching for a bit. We were warned of an ancient enemy coming back to take out my mother." He sighed. "We hope we can change that part."

Stark looked at him. "I hope so too. Can we help?"

"Nay. You cannot fight the dark elves."

"Okay, let us know," Steve said.

Thor smiled. "I shall." A man appeared with a stroller, a bag on his arm, two agents passed out at his feet, and two staves in each hand. The kids all stared up at everyone then one sniffled.

Steve smiled. "It's all right, little one."

"Freeze," Xander ordered. "I have it boobytrapped." He leaned down to undo the trip wire. "It'd hit you as it brought up a shield around them." He looked at Thor then at the agents. "You wanted to talk to someone higher up to beg for forgiveness for having really bad ideas because you wanted to take an elementary school hostage. So talk to Lord Thor, scum."

One of them stared at him. "Save us?"

"If you touched innocent children you deserve punishment," Thor said.

"If they touched any kid, innocent or not, they deserve whatever hell they get," Clint said.

"Exactly," Xander agreed. He grinned. "You can go outside and jump. Or you can get arrested by whichever agent shows up here to dent you for me."

"I have agents coming as we're trying not to make more work for the local police," Coulson said. "However they should be in handcuffs." Stark tossed over some tie cuffs. They got locked down. "Mr. Harris, hand the scepter to Thor as you promised please."

"I can do that." He held it out handle first. It flew out of Xander's hand and away from Thor. "Hey! You're going home!" He grabbed it with a sigh. "Okay, tell me what the problem is." He grimaced, looking at Thor. "It wants someone with power to take it from me, and you don't have magic."

Thor nodded. "You can speak to it?"

"I can speak to dead people. The large, idiot blue guy who made it left an imprint before giving it to your brother."

"Oh, that makes more sense. Do you know of a witch you would trust to hold it?"

"One. Willow, send me Dawn," he called, looking up.

She appeared on the porch, wandering in reading a book. She took the staff from him, glancing at it. "Aww, you're cute. You'd be horrible for my dating life though." She handed it to Thor. "There, he's your people. The slayers would drive you nuts asking for help with bad hair days." She went back to reading, sitting down beside the kids to pull Arlin out to cuddle. "Aww, my little guy."

"That's Arlin, Dawn."

"I know that." She smirked. "I asked the poker buddies for pictures." She gathered the others into her lap, reading the romance novel to them. She looked down. "Of course, you guys will have better lovers than the weak minded fool this one is. This one might as well be food for minions." She went back to reading, making them happy kids.

Xander shook his head but smiled at Stark. "This is Buffy's sister Dawn."

"Well met, Dawn," Thor said with a nod. She grinned up at him. "Thank thee for the help."

"I'm also protecting the kids from Willow. She thinks Xander's going to go freaky so she's going to try to snatch them again."

"Then I really should keep the staff of rage," Xander muttered. He handed the other two over to Thor, making him shudder as he touched them. He held up the other one. Thor stepped back, shaking his head. "You sure? I can easily make this my second favorite baby after my battle axe."

"How does it not affect you?" Thor asked.

"I'm already angry, Thor. What's it going to do, make me hate the ones that took my only real family from me more?" He shrugged, leaning on it. "Some of us had a war forced on us and we didn't want that for our lives. Now it is and some day it may consume us, but that's not all we are."

Thor nodded. "The one who held it?"

"I think he's in Spain or something. I found one of the pieces there."

Thor nodded. "Can I have someone gather that one?"

"Sure. I don't mind. It won't make me any less mad."

Dawn touched that staff, nodding. "I remember when you let it out one night on the anniversary of losing Jesse." She went back to babying the kids. Magic started to glow around her so she looked up. "I'll let him come take that staff of rage to you, Willow," she said quietly. "Bet me I won't." It stopped. She smiled at Xander. "She's back in huffy girl land."

"I'm going to sell her to someone who can train her better," Xander said dryly. "I'll be damned if she teaches my kids to act that way." He took Jesse from her. "You're making that bad face. Want changed?" He nodded, pouting at him. "You can have Dawn read to you some more in a minute. Let's change the nasty butt." He picked up the diaper bag and Stark pointed at a bathroom. "Thanks, Stark." He carried him that way.

Dawn smiled at the other ones. "Let us know if you guys need changed too."

Clint laid a hand on the staff, pulling it back quickly. "It really does make you angry."

"The one who carried it had that job," Thor said. "It was broken so he could not control it." He looked at the children. "They look comfortable. Do they see you often?"

"Nope. Xander's kept them from all of us at the Council because my sister's a nagging bitch and then there's Willow. Who's not much better." She went back to reading, taking Jesse back and handing him Joyceline. "Needs a new buttflap."

"Yup." He took her to change then brought her back. Stark stared at her. Xander held her out to him with a grin. "You can cuddle. She likes them."

"Thanks, kid." He carefully took her from him, staring at her. "Hi." She grinned at him. "Are you okay? Did you do okay when there were bad people? JARVIS, tell Pepper she's here?" Pepper came off the next elevator while they were still staring at each other. She took the baby to cuddle, making her squeal. "She's happy to see you, Pep."

"If you put her against your chest, she purrs," Xander said. "She loves to snuggle." He picked up Arlin, staring at him. "You haven't been changed in three hours. Why not?" The baby squealed and patted him. "I like you too, son, but why are you not peeing?" He took him to change. Dawn was shaking her head but reading to the other two. One got up to wander after daddy, getting changed too. Then they came running out to pounce Dawn for her mystical reading abilities. Xander grinned at Pepper. "She'd probably stuff her face again but they ate about an hour ago."

"That's a good thing sometimes. Sometimes you need a snack." Tony moved but she handed her over to him. He awkwardly cuddled her until she climbed up to play with his hair. That made it easier. Pepper took a picture. She moved the staff out of the way but Thor moved it on her. "It makes you really angry, Ms. Potts."

"Oh, okay." She nodded, settling in to talk to Steve. The other three were yawning at Dawn, who was yawning too. "Not your genre?" she asked.

"No but the slayers only brought romance novels. It sucks but I forgot to pack one of my own outside schoolbooks," Dawn sighed. She shrugged. "It happens wen you have to evacuate."

"Now I have you!" a demon shouted as he appeared. Xander swung the staff at him. The demon ducked but Xander pulled it back to trip him then kicked his ass. "But, Xander!" he whined. "Can't I have one of your sons! I'll be good to them. You can have another one born to replace him."

Xander stared down at him. "Hell. No." The demon whined. "I'd disappear from this plane. Unlike how I'm going to torture Willow for trying to snatch my kids, I haven't known you since the first day of school." The demon wiggled away and disappeared.

Dawn clapped and whistled. The kids cheered too. "Way to go, Xander!"

"Twas nothing, fair damsel." He gave her a look then settled down. "Hand over my kids."

"My spoiling time," she said, cuddling them. "You never share. How else am I supposed to realize I don't need kids until I'm fifty?" She teased and tickled them, making them giggle and run away from her. Clint caught one to tickle. That one ran to Steve. The other two ran to the guy who had their sister.

Stark smiled at them. "Sure, we'll protect you from being tickled." His daughter wiggled so he put her down. She ran over to pounce Dawn with a squeal, making her fall over. "Good job, Joyceline."

Pepper giggled. "That's a good pounce, sweetheart." She grinned at them and patted Dawn then ran after her brothers. They squealed and ran from her.

"Baby tag can last for hours unless you distract them," Xander warned.

Steve caught two of them. Clint caught Joyceline. Dawn grabbed the other one to cuddle. "Got you," she cooed in his ear, making him wiggle and giggle. "I'm going to have a lot of fun interrupting Xander to babysit you guys."

"Wow, you're going to college in Africa?" Xander quipped, staring at her.

"No, but Giles is turning the main house over to you because he's tired of the politics and all the people going 'but you're British so you don't understand our ways'." She grinned. "Buffy's going to Ireland. You're getting Amanda, Stellie, and Dexie." He groaned, shaking his head. "Your girls in Africa are getting Faith." She smirked. "She wanted to travel and work with the younger slayers. She's been working with the few regional ones down there to figure out how to get wherever. Giles said to give her your map, the Range Rover, and anything she may need."

"When was I going to be told that?"

"When the Customs people said they wanted someone normal they could work with so they stop you from going back there by airport." She smiled. "Agents got creeped out by slayer shopping for apocalypse battles," she said in a sing-song manner. She cuddled the baby. "The slayers like to shop," she sang. "You need to beware that you're not my sister's shopping buddy. She'll stick you in a bag and make you help her buy bras, and you won't even get to leer because she's got almost no boobs. Then she'll make you buys shoes with her and never feed you. She's like an evil queen of shopping."

"Don't remind me," Xander complained, rubbing his forehead. "Please don't remind me."

Clint nudged Xander. "It can't be that bad." Dawn and Xander both laughed. "Really, guys?"

"The slayers go shopping before every big battle for just the perfect outfit to fight in yet look cute in. Then for something slightly slutty for clubbing or a bikini for the day afterward so they have a goal in mind to not get injured during the battle."

"I got asked a few times by agents what the girls were doing. I explained the usual school shopping against the pre-battle shopping or the stress shopping. School shopping is multi-store with an emphasis on clothes. Stress shopping tends to end up inside a candy or ice cream shop within a half-hour but may involve window shopping for clothes and a lot of trying on but little buying. Pre-battle shopping starts at either the lingerie store or the shoe store and they match it all to that necessary accessory. Also the shoes tend to be chunkier heels and the bras tend to be more practical than slinky. Buffy had to point out that push up bras do not belong in battles because boobs get in the way of swinging a sword when you have to do it for six hours straight."

Dawn nodded. "The cute shoes are saved for club hunting instead of patrol night or battles. The cute skirts or the slutty tops too."

Clint stared at her like she was strange. "You guys go out in heels on patrol?"

"Chunky heels," Xander said. He pulled up a few videos. "I use these to show the girls what not to wear on patrol. Buffy is the mistress of the patrol date. Unfortunately some of the other slayers have picked up taking their dates on patrol." He let Clint see those.

Clint stared then took the phone down to Natasha. She stared at it then at him. "The girls go shopping before apocalypse battles for the perfect outfit and something slinky to wear the next day if they're not injured."

She sighed then nodded. "Sometimes girls aren't sensible about things." She saw the other videos, watching them. She stared then walked upstairs, showing Xander. "She went out in that?"

Xander looked then grinned at her. "Back when she was seventeen. She was dating Angel during patrols. She always called me the bait but she was a lot more of one. She even likes to kick a lot," he finished with a grin. He got into another file to show her. "That's her shortly before graduation."

She watched, letting Clint see it. Clint shook his head. "Someone let her out of the house in that outfit?" Dawn burst out giggling but nodded. "Why?"

"Buffy was a popular cheerleader sort before she got called," Xander said with a grin. "She's just like that. The other girls know they can't be Buffy. Each slayer is her own mythical being that people wonder and worry about showing up if they're doing bad things. I save those to show the girls I'm training not to be like that. Because only Buffy gets to go on date patrols in mini skirts, backless shirts, and go-go boots." He showed them that picture.

Natasha stared. "I would not even wear that outfit to the mall in case I'm attacked. She fought the same way then?"

"Yup. All the slayers get a download of most every weapon and fighting style. That's the one that stuck with her. Faith street brawls because that's what she grew up doing. I like weapons better than bare handed because it compensates for my not hitting as hard."

"I like his version but I hate swords," Dawn quipped. "I'd rather learn for necessary reasons and then go hide in college, find a few boys, and then have a life for a bit before I get sucked back into the Council."

Xander smiled. "Then that's your choice, Dawnie."

"Not according to my sister."

"She knows better. I'll remind her you're allowed to make decisions, just like the other girls do." She hugged his leg. Joyceline crawled up Dawn's back to pounce her father, getting a cuddle for it. "Hi, sweetheart. Are you having fun with Auntie Dawn?"

The boys climbed up Dawn too so they could get to Daddy. He cuddled them, making them happy.

Stark looked at the picture then at Dawn. "Your sister's a bit skimpy."

"Yeah but she needs a new dangerous thing to date. Only predators like her." Xander shrugged. "I know, you don't care unless you have to stake the next one."

"Yup and I'd like her to stay out of my panties as well."

"Not your fault that guys like arms dealers like you," she said with a pat before sitting up. "Can I help with dinner?"

Xander looked then at her. "I think it's nap time. They're growing. Again. I'm going to let your sister shop for them." He grinned. "As long as Joyceline doesn't own a skirt before she's ten. That way we can hide she's a girl for those sort that shouldn't know because it'll make her a target."

Dawn nodded, sending that text. She got back a happy face. "She liked that idea."

"Good. I'll slip her money." He put the kids onto the chair he was sitting in. They all cuddled together on top of Henry. He went to check the diaper bag then looked at her. "You're going to...."

"Run away and hide?" she quipped then texted someone. They removed her magically.

Xander grinned. "The coven's protecting her."

Thor stared at him. "Is that normal?"

"The coven helping? Sometimes."

"You lead a weird life," Natasha said.

"Yeah, pretty much," he agreed, smiling at her. His phone beeped so he looked. "No, I don't have time for a kitten poker match tonight," he said as he typed back. "Just in town to handle the last few things. But thanks." He sent it and put his phone back. "Sorry, old poker buddy."

"Kitten poker?" Clint demanded.

"Yeah. It's a pretty popular demon game. We at the Council are on good terms with the peaceful community. We learned a lot through kitten poker, including that some bad things were coming. We wouldn't have known much about Glory without them."

"Glory was what sort of demon?" Steve asked.

"A hell goddess that wanted to drag her plane onto this one to open a buffet line. Buffy died fighting her."

"The same Buffy?" Stark asked, looking at Coulson. "Think Fury did it to her too?"

"No, Willow did," Xander said. "No alien stuff needed."

Stark blinked a few times. "She brought her back to life?"

"Yeah. That was her second death. I did CPR a few minutes after she got drowned. It was long enough to call a second slayer."

Stark blinked at him. "You should probably have a vacation."

Xander shot him a dirty look. "There's been weirder that came out of Sunnydale than that, Stark."

"I'm sure there was." He nodded. Pepper patted him on the arm, taking Joyceline to cuddle. "Sure, you cuddle her. You can teach her how to be a little girl."

"Which can get her bad attention," Xander reminded him. "She's an undercover girl because people like to sell baby girls more."

"Point, but if you're in the main house in Cleveland...."

"I'll piss them all off by telling them the truth and then to grow the hell up because teenage girls can handle things they can't," Xander finished sarcastically. "I have *no* tact. Or patience with adults." He rolled his eyes. "The agents I've dealt with in Africa loathe having to come see me about stuff. Even if it would mean the end of the universe they don't want to talk to me to get the slayers to help them. I'm not suddenly going to find more tact because I'm back in the US. Cheeseburgers more often but not tact."

A demon appeared outside and stomped in, kneeling beside Xander. "Knight, we ask for a favor."

"If it's that bad, why are you kneeling?" he asked dryly.

"Because it's protocol, which we don't care about in the bushes but here with Lord Thor we do," he said, shooting him a dirty look.

"Sure, I get that. What favor?"

"That you stop the rogue witch Rosenburg. She's stolen from the incubus king."

Xander grimaced. "She can't handle her own fight?"

The demon looked up again. "She stole some of the drug that helps the transition, Xander."

"Oh, fuck me," he muttered in Latin, pulling out his phone. "Watch the kids for me please, Bert."

"Sure, they're adorable and drool like hellhounds." He settled in front of them to watch while Xander went out onto the balcony to yell at someone.

Xander smiled when the phone was answered. "So, are you going to paddle Willow since she just stole the drug that turns humans into incubi?" he asked dryly. "Yes, as in that drug that makes people addicted to sex and all that, Buffy. Yes, Willow. Bert's here. Bert, Buffy said hi." He waved back. "He waved back, Buffy. Well, I think the alternatives they were probably going toward was attacking her and the slayers around her by dosing them." He laughed. "Yeah, exactly. How addicted to dick do you want to be?" She spluttered and choked. "Since she *stole* it from them....." He looked inside at the moan. "What did she do this time, Bert?"

"Um, Xander, the babies just twinkled off," Pepper said.

Xander nodded. "Buffy, bring me there please. I can solve both problems. Because she just stole the babies. Bring. Me. There. Or else I'm calling in a poker debt." Giles was complaining but he got brought back there. He hung up, walking around them. "Ladies, Willow stole drugs from the Incubus King that turn humans into incubi."

"The hell she's going to use that," one of the old ladies said. "I've had enough of that nonsense in my life, and hated it by the end of my former marriage." Xander shot her a grin. "Oh, dear."

"I'm having someone carry the baby that's mine and Andrew's." The witches all shuddered. "Give me back my damn children before I kill your stupid ass!" he shouted before kicking in a door. He shot the demons in there. "I don't give a damn what she did, you do not include my children until they're old enough to decide if they want to hunt!" He shot the new one showing up. "My children are in the room, guys. If you're going to paddle her, make it something we all can enjoy." They carried Willow off. Xander gathered up the kids, carrying them out there. "Can I paddle her dumb witch ass too? Or should that be dumb ass witch?"

"Oh, no, us," the head of the coven said with a smile and a wave at the babies. "We don't want to be succuba, Xander."

He grinned. "I got given a partial dose of that one weekend last year. It's fun but I already wear out people thanks to Anya and my stamina. I nearly killed six different lovers, and I was only doing oral sex for the most part." The older ladies all giggled. A few blushed. Giles blushed. "I could take more," he said, looking at Willow. "Then me and the baby future sex demons can *all* have great fun. We can shop and use people like we're hos. I can live in a penthouse suite. We can have nummies all we want. I can have a gym. I'll need great abs to capture prey." She shuddered, shrinking down away from him. "Guys, any other reason you showed up since Bert came to me to stop her for that theft?"

"She stole the Queen's crown," one said.

Xander went to look once Giles had the babies, coming out carrying her silver altar tray. It had the crown around a picture of him from back in high school. There was a bloody dagger and a burning candle on it with herb residue. There were cards that might've been tarot cards but they were mostly burned. He held it up to Giles and the witches then the demons, who nodded. "You can interrupt whatever she's doing."

The demons looked then at the witches. They took the altar tray to undo things. Xander took the babies back and got sent back to New York. The witches got to beat their younger problem member. He sighed as he reappeared. "Bert, she stole the Queen's crown." The demon stared at him, mouth open. "The demons there are helping the coven correct her. Hopefully until she begs since the spell had the crown around my picture. I have no idea what she was doing."

Bert nodded slowly. "You taking over as the Queen of the hive would be a bad thing."

Xander shot him a dirty look but grinned. "I'd turn them into incubi since the drug was handily available in the same room."

"I know," he moaned, shaking his head. "We will send you suitable sitters."

"Nah, we're good." He blew a kiss. "Right, guys?" They wiggled so he put them down and herded them inside. They wandered in to pet Pepper and cuddle her. "Yes, she's a good redhead. Learn about good redheads so you don't fall in with someone like that one redhead." Bert patted him on the shoulders, kissed him on the forehead, then left. Xander grinned at them. "So."

"You could use a nap," Stark said quickly. "So could the kids. Let's find you a room, Harris."

"There's one near me," Clint said.

"That's be cool, thanks guys. Saves on hotel costs." He gathered the kids, the diaper bag, and followed Clint down there. Behind him someone groaned but it was a pretty sound. He grinned at Clint. "Some people think I'm vowed to a chaos god but it's really a side effect."

Clint nodded. "I agree with the other ones."

"It's from sucking up hellmouth energy."

"I'll have to make sure I avoid doing that." He let him in there then walked off to get some sanity from Natasha. She had a lot of sanity and she liked to share with him. If not, Pepper probably had more than Stark could suck from her. Or Thor might.

Steve was shaking his head. "Is he always like that?"

"Yes," Natasha said. "From his files, yes."

"He said he's not vowed to a chaos god, it's from sucking up hellmouth energy."

"I need to figure out how to fix those," Stark said, heading for his lab. Pepper patted him as he walked past her. "Come see me later when you want dinner, Pepper."

"I can do that," she agreed, sipping her ice water.

Thor looked at the others. "Thankfully he is not evil like my brother, even though he does bring chaos like him." He looked at his brother's scepter. Then he went outside to call on his mother. She smiled as she appeared, letting her take the staff from him. She walked in to take the others he had gathered, plus the one laying across the chair. She grimaced at it but nodded, taking it with her. Thor kissed her on the cheek so she could go home. Thor came back in to relax. That was safer and better.

***

Xander walked out of the tower the next morning with the kids in their stroller. He nodded politely at the man who was staring at him. Within a few minutes he was surrounded by agents. "Yes, guys? Problems?"

"You somehow avoided being picked up by the agents in England," one said, smirking at him. "How did you do that?"

"I stole Loki's scepter from HYDRA." He smirked back. "You don't want to do this around my kids, guys. Really."

"How did you get kids?" one sneered.

"You guys made me kids. By the way, thanks." He pulled something and set it off before most of them got their guns out. The one that did screamed when the gas canister hit him in the face. "You guys have fun. We're going to breakfast." He walked around them, nodding at a police officer. "HYDRA hates us Council people. That's why they made me kids." The officer shuddered but called that in. "It's a scale based gas but it's easily washed off. It just stings like I hit them with vinegar." He grinned. "Very handy as a distraction." The officer glared at him. He stared back. "I can ask a poker buddy to come eat them."

"Go away."

"Gladly." He walked off with the kids, pointing out things and explaining them to them. They were happy with that.

Someone stomped into the fast food place, staring at him. "You have children?" he demanded.

"Yeah, HYDRA was trying to breed better future soldiers," he said dryly. "So four out of the ten they had born were mine." The guy shuddered. "Thankfully someone found them for me." He smiled, feeding them bites of eggs. "See, you guys like eggies." They nibbled and Arlin reached for more so Xander let him have them. "So, what's up now that most of the bad guys got exposed?"

"I was going to ask the same thing. Plus for a report."

Xander grinned. "Ask the agents with Stark for that." The agent glared. Xander grinned. "Dawn does that look better when I refuse her chocolate. They probably already have it in agent speak even."

"Fine. How did you hold off those agents in England?"

"Mystical bullshit?" He fed them bites of the biscuits.

"What?"

"I went with what I know. Mystical bullshit and weapons." He gave him a pointed look. "They threatened my kids. What did you expect me to do?"

"Hide."

"I tried that. I had to come protect the slayers. They can't hurt humans." He shot him a look then got back to feeding the kids. "Can I have a few bites, guys?" They grabbed more to nibble on. "Okay, sure, I could lose some weight I guess."

The agent huffed. "We want to debrief you, Harris."

"I've heard more charming offers," he quipped. "And it can wait until they're fed."

"I suppose." He crossed his arms over his chest, tapping a foot while staring at them.

Jesse giggled, patting the scowling one. "Baba." He lifted his gun, making the guy take it back. "Baba!" He stole it again, cuddling it.

Xander sniffled. "I'm so happy, baby. Good boy." He hugged him then the rest. "You guys are so good."

The agent moaned, taking his gun back so he could walk outside to call that in. Xander was still feeding his heathens. An SUV with car seats showed up and Agent Hill got out. He glared at her. "Why are you here?"

"Because we need to debrief him but he's highly protective of his kids," she said dryly. "He's the guy that had the visions about HYDRA and I'm pretty sure there's still things going on we might need to know about."

The agent blinked. "You can use our interrogation room. We want the same thing but he's creepy. He just praised his son for lifting my gun."

"That's very talented for not quite two-years-old." Xander came out with the kids back in the stroller. "I have car seats for them." She let him buckle them in then nodded at the agent. "You can follow and use our lounge to talk to him in."

"Fine."

She got in once all the kids were buckled in and Xander had climbed in. "That was stupid," she said, driving them off.

"What was?"

"Bringing them out of the safety of the tower."

"They creep out all the people in the tower."

"So? It's safer."

"It's safer if I was back in the bush. Then if I had to shoot people everyone would go 'they were probably bad'."

"True." She pulled back into the tower, escorting the other agent upstairs so they could talk in a conference room. The kids were happy to stare out the windows while occasionally coming over to pet their father for hugs. "Okay, first," Hill said. "How did you get Loki's scepter?"

"First I called in a poker debt to watch the kids. They're dwarves and very honorable. I knew they'd be good for the short amount of time I needed to grab it. Then I called in another poker debt who could get me a few places. Which is when I picked up the staff of rage that used to belong to an asgardian warrior who got banished down here." She gaped. He grinned. "That other staff I had? It was one that encouraged rage and anger. Which meant I had a mystical weapon I could use to get the other staff from HYDRA. I ran into Barton there and warned him from touching it because even holding it would bring back what happened to him and possibly summon Loki down from Asgard."

"Okay," Hill said, making that note. "The warrior?"

"He's in Spain I think. Someone else foresaw the command team heading there after the convergence coming up and finding parts of it. Originally the elves hurried HYDRA's outing because of things found during the clean up by Coulson's team."

"If it encouraged rage, how did you hold it?" the other agent demanded.

Xander stared at him. "Do you really think I'm light, fluffy, and happy?" he asked sarcastically. "The vampires started a war with me by taking out someone who was as close to me as a twin. I carry enough anger to let the hellmouth taint I carry out to create a new one somewhere if I need to. That staff's anger? It felt comfy at times. Like a blanket I used to wrap myself in." The agent shuddered, backing up a step.

"Anger like that is damaging," she said bluntly, giving the kids a look then him.

"Jesse was gumming on it," he said with a grin. "Then he'd scowl at whichever sibling was noisy. So far he's my mini me."

"I can see why." She stared at him. "Convergence?"

"Something that starts on Asgard. It'll be some star and planet alignment thing that'll merge all nine realms for a bit. As most noted because they're going to be attacked by an ancient enemy that nearly wiped itself out trying to last ditch their last battle with Thor's people. We'll have some action down here in London but not much. There's only a handful of dark elves left."

She considered that. "I'll talk to Thor."

"I think he's still up there." She nodded. "I politely had Darcy Lewis taken for an hour by a local demon community member in London so she could call out for one of Thor's friends as she's an acknowledged little sister. We got Lady Sif, who we talked to. She's warned them because I saw Thor losing his mother and Loki helping Thor bring down the elves."

"I'd like a copy of that vision along with the ones about HYDRA to make sure we aren't missing any points."

"Oh, there's still some hiding," Xander said dryly. "I got a few this morning."

"We got them," the first agent complained. "What did you use?"

"Fumed up blue scale ash. It's like hitting them with vinegar in the face."

"Which would sting but not cause a huge amount of damage," Hill said. Xander smiled and nodded. "How many weapons are you carrying?"

"How many do I look like I'm carrying," he quipped with a grin.

"Don't play," she warned.

"Um, knife, two more self defense canisters, and a small ball of spell components that would create smoke and light."

She nodded. "No guns?"

"I'm in New York."

"Point. I know you're usually more armed in Africa."

"I have to handle more things in Africa since most of the girls in training aren't anywhere near cities."

"Which we find reasonable," Agent Hill said, staring at him. "Stark told the other fathers?"

"I was going to show up at that arms dealer meeting but then HYDRA started to get found and triggered the vision. Though he did it before all that."

"Hold on, HYDRA got found first?" she demanded.

"Yeah, that's who made the kids." He pointed at them. "And they got paranoid about that. They clenched up to protect some areas, which led to that one lab in Germany being seen by local agents, and six of them being killed. It was that reaction that set off my vision."

"So we were going to trip into them and your vision was a warning of the depth," she said.

"Yeah. I saw a name list that was nearly a case of paper thick, Hill. In every agency. Like a quarter of every agency. Some names flashed out at me and I noted those."

"Can I get a copy of whatever journal you keep visions in?"

"Yeah but it's my bag upstairs."

"I can get it," she said, sending up one of Stark's guards.

Xander pointed. "HYDRA goon," he said with a point. "Wasn't that Ward?" She ran after him. He looked at the agent guy. "So."

"We find you really annoying, Mr. Harris."

Xander grinned. "Giles wanted me to take over the Cleveland house because you guys drove him nuts."

The agent considered it. "At least we can figure out what you're doing when you go shopping."

"You didn't learn how to figure it out based on what they were shopping for?" The agent huffed. "Sorry. That's how I figured it out."

"You had more years."

Hill came back with his pack so he dug out the journal. "Here you go." He found the start of them, letting her have the journal. "Is Giles going to get his wish to go into hiding in London again?"

"Yes," Hill said. "You're heading the main house here in the US because you know how to deal with agents." She smirked at him. "Plus it'll be good educationally for the kids." He rolled his eyes but nodded. "We're giving you two agents to train. Both are formally retired from field work but still fit. They're just burnt out and one nearly didn't get rescued." Xander grimaced but nodded. "You need someone to replace you. We can't let a continent fall, Harris."

"The girls won't trust them."

"They will. Both have cousins in the slayers." She smirked. "We went looking specifically for relatives. That means they won't turn on the girls." Xander grinned, relaxing some. "They're both taking over your role in Africa. One of the slayers out and about got onto the bulletin board to introduce them and we told them that we'd have them to Mr. Giles next week."

"The bulletin board was a great idea of Andrew's."

"We like it as well. The girls need all the support they can get," Hill agreed. She went over the visions, nodding at some. "Huh. Okay." She looked at him. "Who has Loki's scepter?"

"Like I promised, I gave it to Thor last night."

"So it's probably back on Asgard," she decided. He nodded. "You're certain?"

"It liked me. We chatted a few times."

"Oh. Great." She grimaced.

He grinned. "You shouldn't call it that. He was just using it, someone else made it for him. That one left an imprint."

"I don't need to know how." She went back over it, scanning it in to send off. "As you know, we're officially down and out but not permanently."

"I know," Xander agreed. "That's not my job. That's the job of someone like Stark."

"Good point." She stared at him. "We will be rebuilding a battle unit to back up the slayers in larger than average battles."

"Then they'll want to be in Brazil in three months." She flipped through the rest of the visions, grimacing as she scanned them in as well. He grinned. "Yeah. I'm going to see if someone wants to babysit for me."

"We left Paulo alone," she said dryly. "Agent DiNozzo came to SHIELD to get our file on you before he talked to you. The other one fell to the people in his group hating he had a true heir." Xander sighed but nodded. She stared at him. "When you do take over, we would like to set up an agreement to work with you and the Council. That way we're not horrified by sudden ascension battles. Because that was the nastiest thing I've seen in years."

"Us too. Though ours was during our graduation."

She smirked. "That answered a lot of questions about that."

"It was the old mayor, plus he had a force of beings there to eat any of the running meals."

She nodded. "I can understand why and I'll make sure it's a closed file so no one looks at your team for that."

"What?" the other agent demanded. "He just admitted that the supposed gas explosion wasn't!"

"Did you see that demon in DC?" she shot back. He shuddered, shrinking down some.

"The former mayor of Sunnydale turned into one of those during our graduation," Xander said. "There's another one trying but I told the guy I talked to in Istanbul because he's not nearly done."

"That's great," she agreed. "I'd rather stop them before they become immortal for a hundred days or change form." He grinned. "It was a great job letting the local militaries handle them for your team."

"I'm not a military. I'm good but not a full military."

"It's good you understand that." She made notes and looked at him. "What happened when you took down that base?"

"Buffy had to call on the First Slayer for help."

"Oh. That explains the gaps then. All right." She made those notes. "By the way, those scientists are all in jail."

"And two were in the lab when I got the scepter. I wounded them both."

"We'll look into that and if there's other labs." She made that note, staring at him. "Someone suggested you were keeping those embryos because you might be a groupie."

"Yeah, I heard that. I'm not a geek groupie. I know strong geeks. I grew up with Willow, even before she got powers, Hill. I'm keeping the ones that don't get destroyed because if anyone's going to use them it's going to be me and I'm infertile." He gave her a tiny smirk. "I told the coven if they didn't leash Willow I'd be having someone carry that one little girl embryo that's me and Andrew mixed."

She considered it then moaned, shaking her head. "That one might take over the world as a gentle despot." He grinned but nodded. "It'd give Joyceline someone to play with too."

"She's going to be just as strong as the guys are, Agent Hill. I'm not going to let her become a fainting little girly girl, even if she loves kittens, rainbows, and pink stuff. Dawn can kick ass so she can too."

"That's how I was raised," she agreed. She looked at the kids. "What are you guys doing?"

"They're fascinated by wiring recently. I found Henry trying to rewire the Range Rover's radio when I left him in there to change the others. I really need to see why Arlin's not peeing as much as the other three." He let the frown ease off. "Guys, quit trying to rewire the building please," he said. "Come see Daddy." They ran over to get cuddles. "Good kids. Did they do a lot of damage I need to undo?"

Hill looked, then shrugged. "They looked it over but I don't see any wires ripped." Stark walked in, coming over to look at it.

"Sorry, I'll fix it. I wasn't paying attention to them," Xander said, getting up.

"My daughter's a genius," Stark said. The other agent started to splutter and choke.

Xander grinned. "Henry and Arlin like wires. She likes animals so far. She's gotten a few upset farm beasts calmed down. Jesse really likes weapons. He's my mini me so far."

Stark stared at him. "We can see what the kids are really drawn to." Xander stared at him. "She could follow me."

"I don't care what she does for fun or a career as long as she's not the evil overlordess sort. She can be an engineer or a doctor or a playboy bunny for all I care as long as she's happy, she treats all beings well, and she's content."

"I'd hate her to be a playboy bunny," Stark said. "We can make sure she gets a great education so she could become a loving world leader."

"I'd like them all to have good educations. I will let you help me set up for their education funds."

"Agreed," Stark said. He looked at the wires. "Guys, come see my robots in the lab. Can they?"

"As long as you make sure they don't ingest anything weird. Arlin *loves* to taste strange things."

"I can do that," he promised, getting them into their stroller to bring them to the lab. Natasha came in to help. She was amused by the children, who all loved her. Joyceline was busy petting her hair for her while the boys went to play with the robots. The robots weren't sure what to make of them but they were being patted and cooed over.

Natasha looked at the little girl. "You can go play with the boys if you wish," she said.

Joyceline grinned and stuck her finger in her mouth with some of Natasha's hair wrapped around it but cuddled her and gave her the adoring big eyed look.

"Her father said she loves animals."

"I think most children would," Natasha agreed. Pepper came in. Joyceline smiled at her and waved, playing with some of Pepper's hair when she sat down next to Natasha. "I think she likes the shade of red we have."

"Redheads are great women," Stark said with a grin for Pepper. Joyceline spotted something shiny and let the hair go, toddling over to look at it. She scowled, pounding on it. "What's that, pumpkin?" He looked. "That's a tablet." He moved it for her. "It's not a bad thing." She spotted birds and went running for the windows, pounding on it. It blanked out under her hands, making her squeak. Her brothers looked over then went back to the robots. Stark had to hurry over to keep her from crawling out to pet the birds. "Not on the windowsill, Joyceline. Your daddy would be upset if you fell."

Natasha and Pepper hopped up to catch the baby going to take his sister's spot behind Tony's back. He turned but they grabbed him and pulled him back inside. "Put back up the window please, JARVIS." It came back. Jesse huffed but toddled off to look at other things. All three adults had to duck but turn to look at the now holed wall. "Wow," Pepper said.

"Xander said that Jesse was his mini me," Natasha said. "He's said to like weapons."

"I forgot I was reloading the suit," Tony said, going over to check on the cackling, rolling-around baby. "So, Jesse, we like weapons?" he asked with a grin.

Xander hurried in. "Wow, I thought the time you shot the bazooka off was great, son." He picked him up to stare at him. "You okay?" Jesse hugged him, lapping him on the ear. "Thanks, baby boy." He hugged the other three too, bringing Jesse with him.

Stark stole him back. "He's really smart." He carried the kids over to let them look at his suit. Joyceline tried to paint it but girls liked pretty colors.

The two watching intelligent women took notes on what the kids liked. They'd have to consider things like birthday presents.

Steve Rogers walked in. "What happened?"

"This little darling likes weapons," Stark said with a grin. "I wouldn't let his dad take him. Never too early to train my successor."

Steve nodded. "Is that normal for kids?"

"Shiny," Natasha said dryly. "It was shiny."

"Ah." Steve nodded, coming over to help with the kids. He liked kids. They usually liked him. Joyceline tried to paint him too but otherwise the kids considered him like a big kid to play with. That's why they knocked him down to crawl over him.

Pepper relieved Steve by bringing the kids to a bare lab that had a few open walls because it was being renovated. The kids headed for the open areas to ooh and ahh over the wires and structural supports.

***

Xander walked off the elevator a few hours later, staring at the sleeping kids. He looked at Stark, who was looking smug. "Did they learn anything beyond 'quit touching that'?"

"Yes. We talked about wiring. We talked about weapons."

"They do like weapons," Xander agreed, sighing at the end. "Guys, we've got to go to Cleveland later tonight," he said. Arlin glared at him. "I know, I'm mean because I woke you up." He picked him up to cuddle. The baby yawned but let himself be put into the stroller. The others didn't wake up so that was great. "Thanks, Stark. Let me go take over my new duty." He walked them off, gathering the few things in their borrowed rooms. He looked up. "Okay." His phone rang with a text message so he took them outside onto the porch area. The coven brought them all together. The diaper bag had to follow but that was fine. The kids glared at the old ladies that cooed at them. "They're napping after helping someone look at construction stuff and weapons."

"Your children are going to be very weird," one of the witches said. "Children should have toys, not weapons."

Xander grinned. "They have toys and weapons. Including a few toy weapons." She snorted but the kids got rolled into the kitchen area. Andrew stared at them then handed over cookies. Xander smirked. "That's fine. They're not all that sugar reactive."

"That's weird considering you are." Andrew smirked. "I heard something about another daughter?"

"Yup, we have a daughter in waiting," Xander said with an evil grin. "And if the HYDRA and other dirty agents don't leave us all alone, I'm going to have her born so she can take over the world for us. She'll be a nicer, kinder, gentler despot."

Andrew nodded. "Yeah, I can see that. Who would you have carry it?"

Xander grinned. "I'm sure I can find someone who would for me."

"Yeah but they might teach the baby evil."

"Nah, we'll teach her geek things."

"Yeah, we could do that." He considered it. "I'll ask someone I know. I could use someone to fuss over."

"Fuss over Xander's babies," Dawn chirped from the doorway. "Jesse already likes weapons. Joyceline needs to have more cooing too before she turns into my sister."

"I'd rather have Faith as a role model," Xander quipped, giving her a hug. "Or you of course."

"Of course. I'm a great role model." She hugged each of the kids, getting grins back. Andrew handed her cookies and the kids more cookies. "Aww, Andrew's spoiling you guys so you won't fuss when Daddy changes those stinky butt things."

"Oops," Xander said. "Didn't see them laying them." He wheeled them into the nearest bathroom to change.

"I'll add more trash cans to the house," Andrew said, making a list on his notepad. Xander came back out. "Will they need specialty nursery stuff?"

"They sleep on sleeping bags on top of camp cots when I'm traveling." He settled on a bench stool, looking down at the sleeping kids. Then he grinned at Andrew. "I heard Giles wanted me to handle here, Faith to take over my spot, and he's hiding in England?" Andrew nodded, grimacing some. "Then we'll handle it." He gave Dawn a one-armed hug. "It can't be worse than driving across the Sahara for five days with three kids with the runs and one puking every few minutes. Though I will miss being able to threaten dicks who bother us." He looked back at the women coming in. "Does Faith know how to shoot? She'll need to so she can kill snakes."

"I believe she can," one of the witches said. Xander nodded. They looked at the kids then at him. "Nursery?"

"Camp cot? Sleeping bag on top to pad it? Yup." The witches scowled. He shrugged. "It's good."

"They're not in the bush any longer. They need proper rooms," she said firmly.

"They can have usual rooms but don't get too happy with the frilly pink stuff for Joyceline."

"Good." She patted all the kids on the head. "Which one is the girl?" He looked and pointed. "You can't tell."

"Which is safer in some ways," he said.

"I hadn't thought of that. We'll figure it out. I'm sure the slayers would adore looking for cute outfits for them."

"As long as my kids don't look like Buffy on a date patrol," he said blandly, giving her a look. "I can just see my son in a booty skirt."

"Ow, brain hurts," Andrew muttered, shaking his head quickly. "Now I'm seeing that daughter they have in storage between us dressing like her and Faith."

Xander looked at him. "I could stand the leather pants. I can't and won't put up with booty skirts."

Andrew looked at him. "Go back to Africa?" he begged.

"Talk to Giles," he said with a cheesy grin. Andrew groaned, shaking his head. "Nothing says she has to come into being. Though if people annoy me too much? I've gotten three offers of someone who'll gladly carry her."

Andrew looked at her. "If so, I've got to make her the evil overlordess sort."

Xander laughed, giving him a one-armed hug. "That's called the president in the US, Andrew." Andrew moaned a happy sound, walking off with that thought. Xander grinned at the witches, who were all shaking their heads and sighing. They went up to set up the nursery for the children and Xander's room so he could be alone with them when he wanted sanity. It was clear the slayers staying in this house wouldn't be helping his sanity any since all they could do was coo at the scowling kid they woke up.

***

One of the few remaining SHIELD agents showed up at the Council house the next day, staring at the man who opened the door. "May we speak to the insane one who made threats against the US please?" she asked politely.

"Xander's upstairs giving the kids a bath and he hasn't put out any threats."

"Yes he has. That child between you two would destroy humanity," she said dryly.

"I think it'll be great. She can become the first or second female president." Andrew smirked at her. "Secondly, if you have our house bugged, I'm going to have to destroy them and whoever put those in here as there's no warrant. Are you admitting you're carrying out illegal listening programs in the US?"

"The whole government hates you guys," she said. "To them it's sanity saving."

"Watch me take up my old evil geek role," he assured her, looking smug.

"Unless you're going to turn all of the bad agents that're still free into giant slugs, don't make threats that'll get us raided, Andrew," Xander called. Then someone screamed as they got thrown down the stairs. "By the way, you're late, Sharon. I've had these three in the closet for the last four hours." Two more came flying down the stairs screaming in pain. "And if they come near my kid again *I* am going to become the next evil and possibly even the next president. I know a few poker contacts who'd *adore* having me there." He slammed a door. "C'mon, guys, let's finish the bath stuff. Then we'll call the daddies to see if they want to meet you boys."

She gathered up the agents, putting them into her SUV's trunk area. She came back to smile at Andrew. "Are there others?"

"No, I fed the ones I found to the hellhounds we have nursing puppies in the garden," he said with a smile then slammed the door in her face. "Xander, why do you get to become the president?"

"The poker circuit wants you to be the VP and take over if I fall," he called. "And so you can follow me. Plus I'm a bit older so we won't have to wait as long."

"That's a good point and I could easily do that," he decided, looking up what it took to become a world leader. He could definitely do that and it would make the world safer for the slayers.

Xander came down the stairs following the kids. "I can point out I've handled major demon battles," Xander said with a grin for him. "That'd make me look like a hero."

"Yes it would. I need to help more so they like me more. That way no more try this."

Xander put the kids into their high chairs. "Can you get them dry cereal and sippy cups?"

"I can do that." He moved to get them bowls of dry cereal to nibble on and cups of milk to sip. Otherwise they'd have to hand-feed the kids the damp cereal so it didn't get slung everywhere for Andrew to clean up.

Xander got into the closet, pulling out something impressive and shiny. He walked to the door, opening and walking outside. The gun was against his shoulder and he was smiling. He grinned at the staring people. "You guys kept my kids up. Do you really want to continue that bad habit?" The news people fled for their lives. The agents all backed away slowly. One cleared his throat. Xander looked at him. "Yes, Agent Hellhound Chow?"

"Mr. Harris, we'd like to get reports on what you handled in Africa," he said with a shaky smile. "That way we know what to come to you about if it suddenly pops up in the US."

"I'm the Council's present seer, Agent Alpo. Also, a lot of that was suppressed by the native governments so they didn't have to admit it happened to their people."

"You have kids?" one of the agents demanded.

Xander smiled. "HYDRA made me four kids. They also made me some embryos in storage." He grinned. "I love my quad of future badasses. Even my daughter will be a badass that makes the slayers appreciate them." He looked at that one agent. "Beyond even that, there's copies floating around. You might have to take them from the bad agent sorts. After all, they wanted to make future soldiers and used my DNA a *lot* for a *reason*."

The agent nodded, calling that in. "Sir, I'm told that there's reports on what Mr. Harris has done floating around, possibly in HYDRA hands as they made him the father of some of the future soldiers they were creating."

Xander grinned at him. "Thanks, dude."

One of the newspeople waved her hand. "Mr. Harris, have you seen the next battle we'll have?"

"I only see apocalypse battles and other big things," he said with a grin. "It'll be in February but as far as I know there's plans for three others happening before then that aren't expected to be as large. Hopefully by then the slayers can safely come out of hiding."

"What was that thing in DC?" she called.

"It's called an ascension. It's a human turning into an older, pure demon. It takes a long time, there's multiple ways, and they're no less than forty-eight feet." She shuddered. "The largest is at least ninety and we're pretty sure human height does impact how long they end up depending on which set of rites they did. I've already told some people in Istanbul about the one in Cypriot."

The agent moaned, repeating that to his boss. "Sir, my supervising agent would like to know where you got that most interesting gun?"

"I won it in an oral sex game." He grinned. "She was really sweet to let me play. I wasn't on their expected list but I showed up and I was battle tense. I won this one and a few others for the slayers to use in battle or to protect ourselves." He gave him a pointed look. "I've already had to hand over three dirty agents that broke in last night and Andrew fed a few dirty agents to the hellhound nursing her pups out back. Do we *really* have to keep up this problem? I'd like to spend today playing with my kids. They'd like that too."

"Um... We'd gladly take any dirty agents from your house, sir. Are they still here?"

"Agent Carter got them."

"All right." He listened. "My boss said thank you for handing them over in a condition that they could be questioned in." Xander grinned at him, shifting his weight some. "We really don't want to be a threat."

"Dude, if I thought you were really a threat, I'd be calling a poker buddy and ask to be made the next president of the US. I can guarantee if I have to so the slayers are protected, then so be. I'll suffer a tiny bit by wearing suits." The agent went pale, nodding quickly that he understood. "Great." He grinned. "Now, anything else?" One of the boys ran out squealing. Xander caught him by the shirt, picking him up one-handed. "Hi, Arlin."

"Hi!" he chirped, waving at them. "Dicks!"

"Didn't I tell Dawn to not teach you that word?" He looked at him. "Naughty word, Arlin."

"Oooh."

"More like ewww."

"Ewww." He grinned and waved. "Dicks!"

"No," he said, carrying him inside. He had to catch Joyceline, who was out there staring at the agents. He got there as she pulled up her dress to pee on them. He sighed. "That's not polite, daughter. You shouldn't hate them until they try to kill you." He scowled at her. "Are you done?" She pouted but put her dress back down, running inside when he pointed. He shook his head. "I don't know who taught her that move." He walked inside, kicking the door shut. "Bathroom so I can clean you, Joyceline."

Andrew was giggling. He hugged the other two. "You guys could do it later. That way they don't wonder about you."

***

In DC, someone got an email so she opened the news report, watching it. She sent it upstairs, then went up there. She flipped on the video, fast forwarding it. "Tony?" He looked at her. "Look." She let it run, pointing. "That's Arlin."

He stared, mouth open. "My son ...." He laughed at him calling the reporter and agents dicks. "Yeah, he's right. Still not polite." He blinked a few times at the little girl that ran out to pee on someone. "Wow. That's Stark's daughter, right?" She nodded. "He only has one girl?"

"So far. He's got something like sixty embryos stored by the gossip."

Tony DiNozzo nodded. "I...."

"We're going to Cleveland next week," his boss said. Gibbs rewound the video to watch it. "The kid's cute. We've got paperwork in saying he's your son so if something happens because of that one's mouthiness you can step in to take the kid out of danger. He sent them last week."

Tony sighed but nodded. "I have no idea what to do with the kid."

Gibbs nodded. "Neither did I." He looked at Abby. "Anything else on them?"

"Not yet. He's been good keeping them out of the news." She hugged him. "I thought you'd like to see that." She grinned. "It's in your email." She bounced off again.

Tony looked, marking it to save. He looked at Gibbs. "At least the kid will be able to protect himself when he's older."

"He should be able to. Get back to work, think bad thoughts on your break, DiNozzo."

"Yes, boss."

***

Xander looked up from shopping for the kids, nodding at the slayer helping him. He looked at the cart. Three of the four were napping on each other in the basket part. The other one was cuddling his new favorite shirt that was really meant for his sister. So he had two in there. She held up a cute dress. "For *my* kid?"

"She's got to have girl times, Xander."

"Why does she need a dress to do that? She's too young to appreciate being in a dress."

"It's a girl thing," she said dryly, staring at him.

He nodded. "She can't climb things in a dress. When she's old enough to pick out her own clothes she can learn how to wear a dress. As shown the other day, she doesn't do great in them yet."

"It was cute though. And so's this so you can do pictures?"

"Who would I send them to?"

"There's a baby book," the saleswoman said with a smile. "Oh, you're *him*." She smiled. "We saw you on tv the other day."

Xander nodded. "They're not quite two yet. She's too young to wear a dress."

The slayer huffed but put it into the cart anyway. Arlin liked it, he took it to cuddle with the shirt that had glitter puppies. He was even making kissy noises as he put them together. Xander grinned, taking film of that one. The slayer was doing the same thing, smiling at the little guy. "Are they happy together, Arlin?"

He smirked at her and nodded. "Good boys."

"They are good boys," Xander said, patting him on the head. "We'll figure all that out later." He patted him again then picked out a few more things with slayer help. They'd be happy with the new clothes to stain and mess up. He checked out, noticing that the lady had charged him ten percent more than she should have but he only gave her a look as he paid.

"Xander, she overcharged you," the slayer said as they walked out.

"I noticed."

"Giles told us to note those."

"I will so none of the rest of you girls shop there." He gave her a one-armed hug and let her push the stroller. The sales lady behind them was sneering but oh well. "People can be like that about our jobs. Or about me being a single dad I guess," he sighed. The security guard glared at him. "The kids are mine, not hers," he shot at him. The guard stomped off. He looked at her, getting a shrug back. "I'm keeping you from going to beat the shit out of someone."

"It's a good thing to do with the heretic lady over there," she said with a point. "She actually misquoted her book to prove we're evil for saving their lives."

"There's people like that everywhere," Xander told her. "The same as there's people who're supposedly christian who burn their kids for supposedly being witches in Africa. I ran into plenty that thought I was evil for saving them and for only having one eye. The kids are just extra special topping on top. They hadn't even heard about Willow yet." She grimaced, shaking her head with a sigh. "Yeah, you'll run into those sort. Offer to train them. If they feel that strongly about what we do, they're more than welcome to come take the training and be a normal guy hunter like I am."

"I hadn't thought about that." She paused to smile at the person following them. "Yes?"

"Is she your girlfriend?" the guard demanded.

"No, she's one of my trainees. I'm keeping her from beating the crap out of someone who tried to beat her first last week." Xander stared at him. "I'm not presently dating and they're my kids, thank you for assuming." The guard sneered. "Listen...." He looked at his name tag. "Bob, she's a slayer, I'm her trainer and the head of the local house. The kids are mine, and if I had any idea that your mall was so full of people who would rather die than deal with reality, then I would've taken my kids somewhere else to shop. As is, we're going to do that after a stop for a milkshake somewhere nicer than your cheesy little mall."

He looked around then at him. "I've seen better malls in South Africa." He walked off with her again, taking the stroller to push. "Don't even go talk to her. If she comes over, you are mute," he ordered. "You're a child and shouldn't have to deal with adults who have issues like hers." He glared at the woman glaring at them. "Unlike Giles, I'm not the nice guy of the Council, ma'am. Quit glaring at my slayer." She gasped and ran off. He got them out to the car, putting the kids in with her help then turning to look at the actual officer that showed up. "We nearly got pounced by the bigot patrol inside so I had to say something," he said dryly. "Is there a problem with that?"

"No, sir. Are you Council? Can I see your ID?" Xander pulled out his Council ID to hold up. "You're not one we usually see."

Xander smiled. "I'm the guy that was off-site training the girls in Africa until Giles got tired of the bullshit we just got inside." He grinned. "I didn't save the world four times almost all by myself to deal with bigots."

"I'm sure you shouldn't have to but it is a public space."

"Yes, it is, and therefore open for all. Including us. We don't put up with them picketing the house. I'm not going to put up with them saying things to my kids or the younger slayers I've got in training. Giles has tact. I lost mine on the way to Africa and it wasn't something I picked up when I had to handle bad things going on. Including the humans being the bad things going on," he warned. Then he relaxed. "All we were doing is picking up my kids some new clothes. We'll gladly go somewhere...better."

"Especially since the store overcharged us on purpose," the slayer said from the car. "Oh, hey, you're Millie's cousin."

"I am, Sarah."

"I'm Xander," he said with a grin.

"Oh! She talked about you but not that you had kids."

"HYDRA wanted to make some better future soldiers so they made me four of them and some embryos." He grinned at him. "They're all just under two."

"Poor guy."

"Only one girl though."

"Even better but still, poor guy."

"Thanks." He smiled. "We stayed polite but I'll be damned if they're going to try on one of us. Or the house. Or the girls at the school. I've already talked to the principals about all that stuff. They realize I'm not genteel like Giles. I don't have a title. I don't have manners. I grew up hard in Sunnydale and it didn't get much better in Africa."

"I can understand that. One's purple."

Xander looked then sighed, pulling her out to change her once she had sighed in pleasure. "Feel better?" She fussed. "I'm working on it." He finished changing her, using a bag Sarah emptied to toss the dirty stuff into. He put her back into the car seat then buckled her back in. "Better? Anyone else need changed?" Sarah giggled. "Sometimes it pays to ask." He leaned on the door, looking at the officer. "I promise I won't be shopping here again unless it's an emergency. The girls can find somewhere else to buy their patrol clothes than the shop in there."

"That's fine, Mr. Harris. Can I check the car seats?"

"Please. I followed directions but I know I may have them too loose." The officer checked, wiggling one. It got hitched in better by Xander. "That good?"

"That's good. Very nicely done. A lot of parents do the same things." He shut the door, looking at him. "Try for polite?"

"I can't be polite at bigots. I tried that and it nearly got me burned at a stake."

"I get that. Try?"

"I can try but I can tell you I don't have that sort of patience."

"I can understand that. Just wait until they start dating."

Xander snorted, shaking his head. "I'll be lucky to make it that far so I'll float around them to nag about the slayers dressing all four of them in booty skirts." The officer walked off laughing. Xander tossed out the bag then came back to get in and drive off. "Okay, let's go mine the fence with things to keep anyone not Council off it."

"Leave the officers an out," she reminded him.

"I can do that." He paused at a stoplight and heard something hit the car. He drove off after beeping and taking their pictures. That guy tried to follow them but oh well. Xander pulled in and got out, locking the others blatantly in the car. He walked over to pull the arrow out of near his gas fill valve, tossing it to the guy. "I'm a better shot than that." The man went pale and backed up. "Be aware I've upped the security around the slayers and their usual haunts, sir. We don't put up with things Giles had. I'm not genteel or landed gentry like he is." He stared at him. "You firing on my car, with my children in it, will get you sued and arrested."

"The city hates you," he sneered.

"Then you and the rest of you that think that should get up off your asses and go handle it yourselves. Because I'm not risking making my kids orphans to save people like you." The man yelled and came at him with a hunting knife out. Xander kicked the knife, punched him, and sent him to the ground crying at the pain in his neck. "Hmm. The things you learn when you have to take on a militia group to save a slayer." He stared down at him until officers got there. "Guys, I upped the security system so there's tape," Xander said dryly, looking up at one. "He followed us home after shooting an arrow into my car, with my kids in it." He pointed at the hole. "I was fully reasonable until he decided to get his hate on. Then...he rushed me."

"We have tape from the security system," Andrew said from the doorway. He waved a disc. "The guy attacked Xander. Xander only hit him once."

"I'm pressing charges," the guy cried.

"So am I," Xander said with a smile for him. "Because you tried to kill not only myself and a slayer, but also my four kids." The man blinked and wiggled back. "Keep going. Really."

"Sir," one of the officers said.

Xander smiled at him. "Xander Harris, new head of this house while Giles is in London. Formerly the head training watcher in Africa and normal hunter guy on Buffy's team in Sunnydale."

"Oh." He looked back then at him. "We've heard of you."

Xander grinned. "I'm not usually an asshole but he fired an arrow into my car to try to kill my kids. Thankfully I have stuff on the car to block explosives." He walked over to grab the arrow the guy had thrown, handing it over. "The blinky thing is an explosive. I've used one to blow up the side of a jail that was holding someone hostage."

"That ...makes more sense. Can you get your kids out of the car?"

"Sarah, go ahead." She got out, getting the kids out and ushering them inside.

Joyceline walked over, smiling at the officer. "Good boy you." She glared at the idiot on the ground. "You bad like vampy." She walked off once Sarah came to grab her.

Arlin came over, smiling at the bad guy. He even dodged his father's grab attempt. "Enough," Xander ordered. "I can handle it, son. Go inside with Sarah to watch PBS please." He turned him around and pointed. The boy huffed. "Sarah will unpack the clothes." He ran inside with a squeal. Xander felt the guy move and ducked to the right then hit the guy trying to pounce him. "That was truly stupid," he said dryly. "Did you think I didn't learn anything handling the slayers in the bush?"

The officers watching were all wincing and one was calling for an ambulance.

"You'll all die, even those unnatural children!" he shouted.

Xander leaned down. "Unless you want to be rendered permanently mute, I'd shut the fuck up," he said slowly and clearly. "Because threats to the slayers or my kids? I'll avenge them in a way that make angels come down to beg me to stop it and not get their way." He stared at him. "You. Ain't. Shit," he said clearly. "Never will be. Never have been. Certainly aren't now. I've seen better minions than you. Hell, I've seen tougher non-slayer teenage girls than you. I've seen tougher cheerleaders than you." The man got up again with a scream of rage. Xander grabbed him and threw him back down. "You wanna go again? Not a problem with me. I haven't had to get into a fight with militia members in almost a month now. Hell, I could probably even sacrifice your unworthy blood to lay some protections on the house."

Andrew leaned out. "Hubert just called, Xander. He said he's too unworthy to sacrifice for blood protections. You'll have to feed him to a minion since he's barely worthy of that."

"Huh, thanks, Andrew." He grinned at the guy. "One of the top demons in the city said you're not even worthy of sacrificing. Such a pity but I can use you as bait to get the new pack of minions coming up if you'd like."

"We'd like him living more, Mr. Harris," one of the officers said, smiling at him.

Xander grinned back. "You sure? He'll just take up room that could be used by someone who actually deserves jail."

"Yeah, we're sure we'd rather have him than clean up the mess you'd make of his body later by using him to lure minions."

Xander nodded, dragging the guy over. "Sure. You have him. By the way, I've upped the security system here, the school the majority of the girls go to, and a few other places that usually house slayers. Including their personal beacons." He grinned. "I'm not going to let the girls be hurt by *average* things. I also scare dates."

"That makes you a good big brother," one quipped. "I did it to my sister all the time." Xander grinned and nodded. "Can we have him?"

Xander looked down then at him. "Please do. I have to make sure my kids won't remember this stuff. I'm one of those overprotective dads."

"We can see that," another officer agreed. He looked at the guy. "Are you still going to press charges?" The man was crying but shook his head. "Good."

"I am," Xander said with a grin. "I'm the ultimate overprotective asshole over my kids." He walked off. "Have whoever we liaison with show up later on with maps so we can remake the patrol routes. With most of the senior slayers being gone I've got to remake them."

"Sure, I can tell him that. Thank you, Mr. Harris. And you as well, Mr. Wells."

"You're welcome," Andrew called. "Xander, I'm making dinner."

"Cool. I can help. I do a great stew and stuff. Have a great day, guys." He got the bags from the car, bringing them inside. Arlin stole them to dig for his new favorite things.

"Giles said to please calm down," Andrew said quietly.

Xander grinned. "I warned him I didn't have tact any longer and I don't put up with that bullshit. I never have but I certainly don't now. The last time I let someone like that get something on me, I had just broken up with Cordelia."

"She was tougher than that guy," Andrew agreed, heading for the kitchen. "Get the kids ready for dinner."

"Okay. Let's put up the new clothes so you guys can wear them tomorrow," he said. He carried most everything upstairs with Sarah's help. Jesse had one of her new bras and would not let it go.

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