Summary: Darcy's arrested and has some secrets that have to come out. Will Auntie Natasha really enjoy that and the secret Darcy hadn't gotten around to sharing yet? Made just from the comics knowledge and the trailers for the movie!
Categories: Non-Buffy Stories & Crossovers > Avengers Characters: None
Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Word count: 6328 Read: 13310
Published: 07/24/2021 Updated: 07/26/2021
Not part of the year of kink series but used for the non-sexual prompt since there ain't any here.
1. Stuffed Animals. by Voracity2
2. Part 2 by Voracity2
Stuffed Animals. by Voracity2
Note: taken from the trailers and some comics, haven't seen it yet.
Darcy Lewis looked up from behind the cell bars, shrugging at the woman staring at her. "I have no idea why they panicked. I was writing Grandfather an email. Dedushka will be upset if I don't. Auntie Yi too."
This was possibly the weirdest interrogation she had ever been part of. Even the one with Loki didn't make her feel this weird. "Do you think you know me?" the redheaded woman asked.
"Yes, I do, Auntie."
Natasha stared. "What?"
She sighed, shifting on the thin little bed in there. "All of my girls must be no longer a virgin by lights out tonight," she mimicked in Russian. Natasha's eyes widened. "Now if only they had given out condoms too."
"Some girls did end up pregnant because they weren't old enough to have it removed," she realized. "Oh, no."
Darcy switched back to English. "They sent me to a nice foster family." She grinned. "And that lasted until they died. Car accident. Don't think it was caused. But social services didn't like the paperwork and tried to say something so Auntie Yi and Dedushka both showed up to rescue me from the hellhole that is American social services."
She grinned. "We had a lot of long talks about how I came to be, and why this was very weird for them." Natasha stared at her oddly. She shrugged but grinned again. "I noted I did not want to train to be that part of the family. I wasn't built right for that sort of stuff." She shrugged. "Instead I learned more modern ways of fighting back. Computers and the like. Which is probably what got me in here."
"Probably," she agreed, nodding. "Your Aunt Yi?"
"Auntie Yi is going to be very displeased that I haven't broken out already. She's probably tightening her blonde braid and putting on an extra few knives to come yell at me. She did when I picked up a boy at a bar the first time. I've never seen anyone braid their hair that tightly."
Natasha laughed because she knew exactly who that described. "Yes, Yelina does." She stared at her. "You're..."
"Nastia's my mother, Auntie Nat." She grinned. "And your father would love to hear from you as well probably."
She swallowed. "He would. Is that why you were hacking someone? Which is what got you in here instead of the letter. They found that later."
"No, that was self interest to stop an idiot." She shrugged but grinned at Stark since he was walking over. "What? You wanted me to let idiots run amok and screw up things for Jane?"
"Does Jane know this?"
"Yeah. The Aunties and Grandfather have all met Jane at a science convention. We had shots in London too." She grinned at him. "She's most amused that I got adopted out into a weird American family. Nothing else was different, Stark. Just, the dead parents were adoptive instead of biological."
"You are not fully trained? Yelina let you out not fully trained?"
"I can defend myself, Auntie Natasha," she said dryly, staring at her. "But I am not, nor will I ever be, an agent. Even if I was built for it, I'm not mentally built for it. I hate hurting people."
She nodded. "That makes sense. Did Yelina fuss?"
"Oh so much. About everything! Including my childish likes for happy things. And she cried when I had my first period because that meant people would be coming to test me now. One did try. He's really not a lot of fun. And really badly scarred now because I was cooking." She beamed. "He tried to sneak up on me. Pity."
Natasha smiled. "Good girl." She looked to the side, nodding at the blonde woman standing there. "She's right, you did braid it tighter than usual," she said in Russian.
Yelina grimaced. "She makes me want to pull out my hair so I need to." She walked over to look at her. "What did you do?"
"I was writing Grandfather a letter," she defended. "And hacking the moron that stole from his account. The Russian hackers are really pitiful and pathetic and they need to pick on someone else, Auntie Yi."
She blinked a few times. "Is that what got you arrested?"
"Yes!" Stark said firmly. "I don't allow that here!"
Yelina stared at him. "Your blood pressure is very high. You should go calm down." She looked at her niece, shaking her head. "What will Dedushka say about all this?"
"I was writing him an email."
"He'll enjoy that. He was complaining manfully that you have not called."
"Living here it's all bugged. I didn't want to get that sort of attention." She waved a hand and shrugged then smiled. "Then again, they only caught me because the people above those hackers complained. They didn't see me doing a *thing* about Hammer or the one group starting in Belarus, or the one in the Crimean peninsula."
"That is my job," Yelina ordered. "Why are you doing it for me?"
"I'm saving you some trouble? And they were annoying me and Jane. One decided I was *just* an assistant again. Didn't even try to flirt with me when they tried to flirt with Jane to sexbait her into blackmail. Not that she'd fall for it."
Yelina scowled. "Really? That's the only reason? Your pride?"
"No!" She walked closer. "My email to Dedushka was very full of news." She shrugged.
Yelina stared because this young one was not like she usually was. Darcy was usually a lot more bouncy, more active. Now she was nearly calm. Yelina had seen this before in some of her fellow trainees. "We had a talk about such matters."
"Yes, and then I ran into a SHIELD thug and had to distract him from trying to kidnap Jane for HYDRA."
"Excuse me?" Natasha and Yelina said loudly in unison. "You did what?"
"Cool, twinsies," she said with a grin. She pulled Yelina over, putting a hand on her stomach. "You're a great auntie."
"You're what?" she shouted. "I am not telling your grandfather, young lady! How could you do that to your future?"
"He had super serum sperm! It went through the IUD!"
Yelina blinked. "What? There's more of them?" Natasha demanded.
"Yeah, HYDRA was making some." She nodded. "I've been tracking them for the last few months when they started to look at Jane." She nodded, shrugging at her aunts. "Jane's over the moon and I..." She looked at herself then at them. "I..." She shrugged. "I don't know but it feels right. Dedushka will be unhappy until he has a new generation to spoil."
Natasha blinked. "I am not getting near your grandfather until *weeks* after he had heard this."
"Go send my email to him? It's in there. All this actually."
Natasha nodded, going to do that.
Yelina stared at her. "I should yell."
"You should." She grinned. "But you love me anyway?"
"Some days, yes." She smiled. "I'm not getting anywhere between you two, Darcy."
"I know. I'm sorry!"
"No. It is fate. Russians believe in fated actions." She sighed, looking at Stark. "So you now know she is not an evil hacker. Can she be let free?"
"Not up to me. SHIELD put her in there."
Yelina picked the door open and walked Darcy off. "They can kiss my ass," she said in Russian. "And blow my gun barrel." They went up to her apartment, where Natasha and Jane were waiting. "Why do you work for SHIELD?" she demanded.
Natasha grimaced. "They helped me. Helped me heal as well." She sighed. "I am wiping some red out of my ledger."
"I'm going to tell him on you."
"He will be disappointed as well. He's written back shouting. Demands she comes home to have the baby there."
"As long as I have painkillers and a doc who can do the c-section I'll need, fine," Darcy said dryly. The women looked at her. "My placenta's eclipsing the hole. It has to be a c-section." They nodded. "And if I miscarry, the baby won't be coming out so we'll have to do it then if I do."
"You had to find out because super serum can cause deformities," Yelina agreed, settling into a chair. She looked around then at Darcy. "Your stuffed friends addiction came back?"
"Yes!" She grinned. "It makes me happy, Auntie Yi."
"I can see why but it can pass onto your daughter?"
"Not old enough to tell yet."
"Hmm. He would be pleased with a son."
"If I can. I definitely don't want the ones who raised you to look their way."
"No, we would not let that happen, Darcy." She stroked up her arm. "I'd say we need a drink but you may not until you're finished feeding my niece or nephew." She grimaced. "We should probably make the plane back though."
Darcy grinned at Jane, who rolled her eyes. "We have a place set up to run to," she told her aunts quietly. "It's safe enough. It's in the country so Jane can work."
"Russian?" Natasha asked her.
"No. Former Soviet Bloc but no."
"Good idea." She nodded. "We can do that but SHIELD will track you down. They will want the child."
"They can bite my ass," Yelina told her. "And blow my gun barrel."
Natasha looked at her. "I do not want that mental image, Yelina."
"Oh, well! You work for morons!"
"With plots," Jane reminded them. "They're forever getting into our work to try to use it for themselves or weaponize it." She looked around. "Darcy, can you do the quick packing stuff?"
"Hmm. Probably." She grinned. "They're on their way, Jane. I texted on the way up here." She looked at her aunts. "Come see our home?"
"Of course. We will criticize your decorating and find something not a stuffed animal to gift to the home," Yelina said, smirking at her.
"Leave my stuffed animals alone. Half of them have things in them." She looked at Jane, who summoned Heimdall to move them. And Thor with them. Darcy hugged him once they landed. Thor blinked at her then around. Then back at her again. "Hey, big guy. Welcome to mine and Jane's home."
He looked outside. "Ill have to summon my hammer." He blinked a few times. "There's no city?"
"No. Jane needs star access."
"Point." He looked at her. "You seem different, Lightening Sister."
"Surprise! I'm pregnant!" She grinned.
Thor stared. "Who is the father! Why have I not met him yet!"
"It was an accident and I was keeping an agent off Jane's ass."
"Swearing!" Yelina ordered.
Natasha looked at her. "She does have a potty mouth."
"I know. We taught her to swear in nine languages yet she still does so in English. It's disturbing. Like she did not learn anything." Darcy looked at her and said something using all nine of those and another one, making Thor laugh. Yelina huffed but looked pleased. "Fine." She looked at her phone to figure out where they were. "Sokovia?"
"Yup," Jane said with a grin. "It's pretty up here and they can ignore us a lot too."
"Hmm. Probably." She blinked a few times. "We have contacts locally."
Darcy nodded. "That's who helped me find and buy the house quietly."
"Excellent! Was it your ex boyfriend that I wanted to stab or another one I wanted to murder?"
"Yes." She grinned. "He's married now."
"Good for him. It means he grew up." She sighed, looking at Natasha. "She draws shitbags. They all think she's like candy."
"I've noticed that." The two spies looked at Darcy.
"They have a lot of fun in bed," she shot back.
"Apparently they do," Yelina said. "Call your grandfather." Darcy got the house phone to do that. "It could be bugged." Jane waved the signal blocker. "That's handy." They went to look around, making sure the house would be good enough for their niece and her child, and of course the future baby and Thor.
Natasha lifted her head. "I can hear the yelling from here."
"He'll calm down in a few hours." They shared a smirk. "A fourth generation of our family."
"Hopefully a son. The family could use some boys. The world could use better men."
"Hmm. Yes they could. There's too many like would be attracted to Darcy." She shook her head quickly. "Many too many of them. I can't even find my own man that's not like that."
Natasha patted her on the shoulder. "Then find a woman."
"I've tried that too. Whiny and wanting things." She pouted. "Is the yelling stopped?"
"I hope so. We don't want him to have a heart attack. He'd pout forever about that." They finished checking things and went back inside. "The perimeter is secured."
Darcy was in the bathroom throwing up. Jane nodded. "Thanks." She looked at Yelina. "She has horrible morning sickness all afternoon."
"There's ginger tea."
"Which makes me hurl more," Darcy called. "No thank you!"
Thor nodded. "She's tried ginger ale and it did the same thing. She does not like ginger."
"She has not ever liked ginger," Yelina told him dryly. "But we'll figure it out. We're Russian women, we figure things out and make men handle it for us."
Natasha nodded. "That does seem to happen a lot." She texted someone to let them know she was fine and safe. Then she put her phone back into her shirt pocket. Yelina looked at her. "Clint."
She rolled her eyes. "He's married."
"I'm not sleeping with him. He's like a brother."
"Has Father seen him?" she joked with a grin.
"Yes, once. He was amused that he uses a bow." Yelina walked off shaking her head, going to make some ice water for Darcy.
Back in New York, Stark was smirking at the people who were yelling at him. "Not my fault your background check didn't show that she could call Romanoff auntie. Or that she was adopted. She wasn't harming Stark at all apparently so she's fine wherever they ran to so they could get away from your plots, Fury. By the way, why is HYDRA after Jane Foster and why was it a SHIELD agent?"
"There's a what?" Hill demanded.
"Apparently. And that's the one that knocked Lewis up." He walked off looking smug. Let them yell at each other. He really needed to finish Lewis' hacking job to make those people sorry.
Hill seethed. "We had no idea about that either."
"We can stop that. We need to get that child."
"No way in hell," she ordered, making him stare at her. "We are not the Red Room, sir."
"I don't want it for that reason!"
"Uh-huh." She walked off considering things. She found Barton in the kitchen making a sandwich that looked disgusting. "If you hear from Romanoff I want to know immediately."
"She said she's fine and safe. They have a good safe house. Darcy has morning sickness." He looked at her. "And hell no you're not getting near Lewis at all." He smirked. "Her family came for her." He walked off eating his food.
Hill went to watch the security tapes. They had no idea who the blonde was. Yi was apparently a nickname. Not one that she was used to from Russians.
Jane met with someone the next day, Natasha going with her. She nodded at the ministry person, sitting across from her. "We are asking for sanctuary for myself and my assistant," she said.
"Why did you choose here, Dr. Foster?"
"My assistant has a family home here."
"Is she natively one of us?"
"No. She's from nearby but not here exactly and was adopted by an American family when she was a few weeks old. But she thought the country was pretty and safer. And she's pregnant. But SHIELD wanted to confiscate the baby to get my cooperation." She put the notes Darcy had found in front of the higher up. "So we'd like sanctuary."
"I see." She read them over, looking at Natasha. "You have a bodyguard?"
"I'm a native guide," she said in Russian. "Darcy was family of mine, somewhat."
"I'm aware of who and what you are, Widow."
She tipped her head. "One of my classmates was her mother. Which is why she was adopted."
"Ah! I see." She nodded, making that note. "We have a process for sanctuary. How did you get in here?"
"Einstein-Rosen bridge," Jane said with a smile. "It's what I helped rebuild."
The woman blinked a few times. "What now?"
"The bridge from Asgard," Jane said.
"Thor's temporarily with us. We're dating."
"I am, yes." She nodded with a smile. "He's quite a man who doesn't like me ignoring him for science."
The woman nodded. "Many men are concerned about such things." She made notes. "I can start the application for both of you. That child will be born...."
"She's seventeen weeks on Thursday," Jane said. "She said she doesn't care but she'll need a c-section due to a placenta problem."
"That's reasonable. Is she an American citizen?"
"She has the paperwork and passport saying she is," Natasha admitted. "I have no idea of her status or claimed nationality. I know she did spend time in Russia. It could be a huge mess for all I know."
"We can investigate that with her help." She smiled. "Does she have special skills as you do?"
"No. She's Jane's assistant, the one who makes her eat, sleep, drink fluids, change clothes, and does her paperwork for her."
"In other words, she's my part-time mother," Jane said. "Which means I haven't starved to death yet."
"Interesting. All right, I will pass this up, Dr. Foster. Are you going to be hiding wherever for long?"
"Yes. Probably for a good, long time. Though I do have plans to speak at a conference in Helsinki in about four months."
"I can make note of that as well so we don't bother you." She made that note, smiling at her. "Let me talk to the higher ups." They nodded and left her to it. Her boss, well he wouldn't get to deal with this one. HYDRA had her name on a watch list. Both of them really. And they wanted that young woman hard for some reason. Probably for the child if she considered it. Pity, she seemed sweet and innocent. Though, her boss at HYDRA was not answering the phone for some reason....
Darcy came across something that night, going to Yelina and Natasha, who were sitting outside drinking. She sat across from them, turning her laptop around. "I was looking at the one who knocked me up to see what else he was messed up in." She ran the tape. "He looks like someone you had nightmares about, Auntie Yi."
"Yasha," she and Natasha said quietly, staring at it. "Fuck!"
"Twinsies again," Darcy quipped. She stared at them. "He's in cryo storage not far from here." She let them have the laptop to look over. "Is that the same Barnes from the Cap stuff?"
Natasha nodded. "It is. Oh, he's going to be so upset."
Yelina looked at her. "Him?"
"Yes, him. Though I'm quite mad myself." She frowned, going over it. "Let me look into this, little pigeon. You go rest. You need your sleep." Darcy nodded, going to handle that. She looked at her 'sister'. "That base is listed as raided."
They went over it. "Father," Yelina muttered.
"He's making the world safer for his great-grandchild." Yelina nodded. "We can contact him, make sure Yasha is fine."
"That'd be nice. He'll want to fuss over Darcy. And perhaps ruin SHIELD."
"That's not hard to do with what we're seeing of HYDRA being infiltrated." They called their older male 'relative' to talk to him about that one's state and how badly he needed attention.
Turns out, their father was already on his way there, Yasha was safely with their 'sister' getting helped, and she was really mad she couldn't come fuss over Darcy herself yet. Though she would get a lot of fussing time in of Yasha instead. They could take turns when he got closer to them.
Natasha looked at Yelina. "Why did she not tell me?"
"Because you were ignoring it all and being a bitch," she said bluntly then drank some vodka with a smile. "I asked and she said she wouldn't interrupt what life you've rebuilt to pop the bubble with the knowledge of her. We had fits when we found out about her going to some foster home that was not safe. Father was not happy in the least and the reason she got brought back over. He smuggled her home. It was very interesting because she was a slightly willful, pushy pre-teen girl. Not what we were used to because she was quite loud and bouncy and drove us nuts for months."
Natasha took the bottle to take her own sip. "That's sweet. I know he loved Nastia." They shared a look. "She acts like Clint does. That child will have no sense."
Yelina nodded. "Neither does Darcy. And she has affection for stuffed, cuddly things. Some day she'll marry a fat man."
"Better a fat man than a cruel one." They each had another drink and got back to HYDRA problems coming for their family. She sent a note to Steve Rogers as well to warn him someone was looking into his history and it was HYDRA related.
Hill looked at Clint Barton the next day. She was tired of running into dead ends. "All right, you know how she came to be. Spill what you know on Lewis."
He got comfortable, putting his feet up. "Even though the girls were hyper watched, they did not want them to be virgins, Hill. And sometimes that led to a pregnancy from the ones that they hadn't fixed yet. They didn't do that until they were older teens." Hill grimaced but nodded. "In that case, according to Natasha, one of her classmates was told to get rid of her virginity and they didn't think to give her condoms. Instant baby nine months later. Which the Red Room decided to adopt out. So she became a Lewis."
"How did they find the Lewis's?"
"No clue. They could've been on an adoption waiting list. It was just starting to get popular to adopt overseas when she was born." He shrugged. "Lewis was raised over here until her parents had a car crash. Looking at the file for Natasha, there's nothing odd about it. A sleepy driver crossed the lane and hit them sideways. Knocked the car over."
She nodded once at that. "So Darcy went into social services care but the social worker found the adoption paperwork and to them it seemed odd so they poked and prodded, which got attention. The one that Natasha looks up to as a father brought Darcy home to protect her. So she spent five years there. Natasha and Yelina talked...."
"The blonde?" He grinned. "Yelina Belova."
Hill slumped. "We have a file but no picture."
"Well now you do." He smirked. "She asked and Darcy was insistent that she hated seeing injured people. Plus at eleven she was already turning busty but short. Not the greatest physical form for an agent since she can't run very well. They made sure she was good enough to defend herself, which Darcy herself wanted to learn. And then she learned how to hack instead."
"Did the Red Room people come for her?"
"No. She was too old. They sent someone to evaluate her and Yelina said she was cooking so hit him with hot grease. He's horribly scarred from the burns." He grinned. "She's feisty and loud and Yelina hates her stuffed animals."
Hill grimaced. "So is she one of ours or theirs?"
"Neither. She's family's. The only one she's loyal to is her made family. Foster, Yelina and that group, her kid someday, maybe some day Natasha." He shrugged. "And why is there HYDRA?"
"We don't know yet."
"Natasha recognized them as having helped her training once."
"Really?" He nodded. "Have her email me?"
"Not a chance. She's really mad."
"She won't leave us any to handle," she sighed. "All right. So Lewis is safe?"
"I doubt they're going to get anywhere near her. Natasha will rip them a new one. Yelina will bomb the shit outta them. Their other family members? They're just as deadly."
"Good! That baby's father?"
"He's a SHIELD agent."
"And he's not bad. Kinda." He grinned. "I'm gonna punch him later about that."
"Just shoot him and paralyze him instead, Barton. I don't want to clean up a mess if he tries for the kid. Fury wants the guard the child for Foster."
"He wants a good behavior hostage for Foster's cooperation," he corrected. "And she's aware of that. There's probably a reason Lewis got a political science degree in three years." He got up, grinning at her. "I'll let her know when I hear from her later. I'm going to see if they need my help tonight. After I punch Rollins."
"Him?" she demanded.
"Yeah. Him." He went to find that idiot and hit him until he begged. And then maybe paralyze him. And his buddies. He kind of wanted to drop a house on them like they were in the Wizard of Oz but he wasn't sure he could manage that. So maybe he'd just explode the gym they were in and let them not leave the rubble. Tony wouldn't mind...much if he destroyed that area.
Darcy looked at the man that was walking into the house, waving at him before going back to the book she was reading. "Give me two minutes. I'm reading up on why the placenta hit the wrong spot." Her 'grandfather' stared at her until she put the book down and pounced him to hug. "We're okay." She grinned.
He stared at her. "First you get pregnant then you get arrested and you're *okay*?" he demanded, looking displeased.
"I had the IUD in until they had to take it out before it stabbed the baby in the head, Grandfather." He huffed. "Super soldier sperm," she muttered. He moaned and hugged her again. "So we're okay. Even if the placenta is in the wrong stupid spot." She snuggled in and he let her, kissing her on the head. "We do an ultrasound tomorrow, if you'll be here?" she asked, looking up.
"Of course we will be." She grinned and snuggled back in again, falling asleep against his chest. He looked down and shook his head with a sigh. Natasha came up to grab Darcy to put her onto the couch in the sun. He stared at her. "No hug?" She grinned and hugged him. "You should come home more often."
"I'm doing good things."
"Of course you are because you are good people." She ducked her head but smiled. He kissed her on each cheek. "Is she truly all right?"
"Just tired. The baby makes her sleep. Too bad it doesn't make Jane sleep." He laughed. "The only problem she has is that the placenta's in the wrong spot so she'll need a c-section."
"I know nothing about any of that." She rolled her eyes but took him down to where Yelina was working with her. He kissed her on the top of her head too. She grinned up at him. "What mealy minded beings are we ruining now, girls?" They showed him and he set up to help them with it. HYDRA was too big for just the two girls and maybe Darcy. SHIELD as well. But they could handle it together, as a family.
And the newest member, who everyone swore would not sleep for the first two years of life.
Clint Barton walked in for his daily tormenting of Rumlow and Rollins, smirking at them. "Hey, guys." They moaned, all they could do. They were hooked up to ventilators and were paralyzed from the neck down thanks to poisoned darts Clint had hit them with as they tried to get free of the gym's rubble. He leaned down next to Rollin's ear, smirking at him. "Your son is adorable according to Natasha," he said quietly. "Darcy's just a healthy little mama. Her Russian family *loves* the baby and will raise him to be a good, healthy non-spy. Just think where you'd be if you hadn't fucked her." He stood up and strolled out.
Jack looked at Brock, who stared back. They had to find some way to get out of this prison ward and able to travel on their own. Of course, the nurses kept giving them the same paralytic poison.
After watching the Black Widow movie, I've updated this fic to include more of that canon and an explanation of why Darcy has aunties.
Natasha looked up from working on the HYDRA/SHIELD problem. "Why did Dreykov allow her to come home?"
"He was thinking about breeding a few of the younger girls and she was an experiment to see if we still had some maternal instinct. A lot of us older Widows spent days with her in shifts. Alexi got her now and then while on parole for a supposedly special assignment." She stared at her. "Half of us dote on Darcy, Natasha. We're all confused about her stuffed friends habit but we all dote on her. Especially since we found out that's she's a really big smartass."
"What did she do?"
Yelena pulled back her hair again. "The girl told Dreykov that he was an idiot. He laughed but she went on to tell him why he was an idiot and that even controlled they still had free will." Natasha winced. "He tried to hit her so she ducked and bit him. Hard." She grinned at her 'sister'. "He was not amused but that weekend she hacked people. Including him and the program's funds. And Putin's vacation fund for his sugar babies." Natasha moaned, shaking her head and making sure her mouth was closed. "Putin thought it was *amusing*," she said with an evil little smirk. "Absolutely loved that idea. Hated that his money went to her stuffed friend habit but loved that she had hacked him. Gave her an award for it."
Darcy came down the stairs. "He told me I was the way that he'd get to shut down the program," Darcy told them.
"Is that what he told you?" Yelena demanded.
Darcy nodded with a grin. "I'd be his excuse because they were ruining women." She sat down. "Dreykov was not amused but it meant that he had to step up against Putin and the KGB contacts he had. He almost completely forgot about me for a few years until I sold off his vacation cabin and gave it to orphans." She grinned.
"Which is when he remembered, we all got yelled at for not keeping her in check, and that's when he sent someone to try to grab her. Who she burned greatly." Darcy nodded with a grin. "He did regret that. He couldn't shoot Darcy, because each time he had someone try they died. Mysteriously died somehow." She looked at her, getting a shrug back. "You have a very worried guardian angel who probably has an ulcer."
"Could be." She grinned. "But they're probably cute. Since that was that agent guy who kept flirting with me."
"Him," Yelena sneered. "One of Putin's people's," she told Natasha. "Young trainee agent. Very stupid. Very vain. And really dumb." Darcy grinned at that, nodding a bit. "But he did all those?"
"Yeah." She rubbed her stomach. "I caught him taking a few on and asked him. He said they had plans of using me to take down the Red Room and all those problems that they were creating. Apparently someone didn't realize his mistress was one."
Natasha looked at Yelena, who nodded. "Yes. Quite." She looked at her. "What is your stuffed friends?"
"Some hold programs, some hold hidden weapons parts, a few hold files. Bears are parts. Dogs are programs. The ducks hold some files."
Yelena blinked a few times. "That is not what you should be doing."
"This is all stuff from Culver and the science stuff."
Yelena sighed. "Are you trying to do my job for me again?"
"Nope." She smirked at Natasha. "I think that's your job, right?"
"Usually. We're hacking the HYDRA bases for lists."
"Use the backdoor from the Prague site."
"Prague site?" she asked. Darcy got up with a groan to come show her. "Oh," Natasha said. "That's interesting and a SHIELD server."
Darcy kissed her on the temple. "I know. Same people though." She went back upstairs. "I'm going to go pee if you need my help on the computer."
"Go rest," Yelena ordered. "Natasha can do that."
Yelena looked at her 'sister'. "We all agreed we could be good aunties."
"You were an excellent auntie. She's a very normal young woman."
"I'm just glad she was out of diapers. That would have driven us nuts." Natasha smiled, letting Yelena help her. Alexi came down the stairs. "Darcy's resting."
"Good! It's good she's finally stopped throwing up." He settled in to watch them work. "Anything good we can handle?"
"Yes," Yelena said with a nod. "I hope."
A few days later, Darcy opened up a few presents. She stared at them. "Uh-huh. Um, Aunties?" she called loudly. They were outside. They came in. "Do you want to help me write a thank you note to Nick Fury for Hill's baby gift?" She held up the blanket and card. "And should we test it for something like nanites?"
"We may want to test it," she admitted. "Hill wouldn't want the child though." She took it to look over. "That is rather odd."
"And Auntie Yi, you work for HYDRA?"
"I do?" she demanded.
"Yeah, Fury's ex girlfriend?" She held up the other card she had gotten. "She's HYDRA. One of the top people over agents."
"Interesting. I did not know that about Valentina." She took that card to look over. "I'll send on your well wishes, Darcy. Any others?"
"Clint sent a baby book." She held it up. "For pictures and stuff."
"That's sweet and his family probably has many," Natasha agreed, taking to look at. Including the note in there. "Hill thinks we're in Russia."
"She's not sensible then," Yelena said. "We don't want Darcy up there again. Next time she might bring back the Party and all that."
Darcy shook her head. "I'm for light socialism but communism is too far." She looked at the rest of the mail. "Stark forwarded stuff for Jane. Jane!" She came in. "Mail from Stark." She handed them over. "And one from Pepper and Thor." That got handed over too. "Have fun with that stuff."
"Thanks, Darcy." She went to her workroom to find out what those were. "Darcy, you handed me something from a president I want to see in jail," she said, coming back to hand that over.
Darcy looked at it. "Hmm. The one that praised me for fighting against OPEC and the human rights violations over there." She checked it then put it aside. "I'll send a thank you note back. Auntie Melina taught me how to be polite even if I want to bite heads off."
"Melina's alive?" Natasha asked. Darcy nodded slowly. "How?"
"Don't know. But she's how I learned what babbling in science was."
Alexi nodded. "She still works for the Red Room."
"We can fix that shit," Yelena said impatiently. "Can we bring them down now?"
"Yes, we can," Natasha said. "And we will."
"And we have programs to virus everything if the stuffed friends are here," Darcy offered with a grin. "Will that help?"
Yelena looked at her. "Do not turn mean. You'll make a mean mother."
"I'll make a fantastic mother who loves to play and laugh with their kids. Because I'm just that way. Being mean has to happen sometimes."
"Hmm." She stared at her then went back down to the computer lab. "We'll see. Rest for now, Darcy."
"Yes, Auntie Yi." She laid down and Alexi came to read to her like she was very young. She grinned. "Thank you, Dedushka."
"Welcome, kitten." He went back to reading. Darcy fell asleep easily enough.
Yelena looked up as her contact showed up. "Valentina," she said warmly. "My niece sends you a thank you note." She handed it over. "Though we are all highly protective over that young one she carries."
"That's good though. It means you get more auntie time." She smiled at her. "How is she?"
"A bit worried about the placenta problem but otherwise well. But she did tell Natasha that she hacks."
"She hacks?" she asked impatiently.
Yelena smiled and nodded. "Yes, she does. She's the one that made Putin so very amused by stealing his sugar baby funds."
"Oh, I hadn't heard." She considered that. "Is she looking for a job?"
"No. She works for Dr. Foster, who needs more mother than that infant will." She stared at her. "She does not really trust HYDRA."
"HYDRA?" she asked casually.
"Valentina," she sighed then smiled. "Yes, HYDRA. We know you are HYDRA." Agents came out of hiding to come capture her. "In that envelope is a thank you note for Maria Hill as well as she sent a baby blanket." She walked off, waving a hand. "Have her. HYDRA has annoyed me greatly by coming after our niece."
The SHIELD agents all smiled. They weren't HDYRA, had been cheked to make sure they weren't HYDRA. They were just really amused that Nick Fury's former girlfriend was HYDRA. They marched her to the car they had hidden and back to a base to interrogate her. One did remember the thank you note to hand to Hill.
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