Congrats On Making A New Family.








Xander looked up as his meeting walked in, nodding politely at them. "You rang?"

"We needed to see Mr. Giles," Fury said, sitting down like the chair was his throne, complete with a toss of the bottom of his trench coat so he wasn't sitting on it.

"You won't be seeing Giles. At all."

"Is he missing?" Maria Hill asked.

"No, he's ill."

"We can hold it off for a week or so," Fury said.

"He's sick as in probably not getting out of the medical bed," Xander said more bluntly, staring at him. "One of the demons during the battle in Houston did something that activated or started some kind of intestinal cancer. He's under treatments but they're saying it's not real hopeful." He stared at him for a minute, seeing the almost-wince. "So you get me or you get Buffy and Willow together. Because we still don't trust you not to mind fuck our people, Fury. So what did you want?"

"Who becomes the head of the Council?" Maria asked. Xander grinned. "We're in so much trouble," she sighed.

"I've been doing it since I got back from Africa, right after they found the cancer that I had the vision about and came back to tell him he had," Xander said dryly. "The old line are pissy about it but yay." He stared at her then at her boss. "What's up that you needed our help?"

"Two things," Fury said. "Mostly due to one problem."

"The HYDRA issue?" Xander asked. Fury nodded. "Okay, how is that going to impact us?"

"It means we're down about a third of our agents."

"Which would impact the next huge battle, that's in six weeks or so," Xander said. Maria winced. "Phone?" She handed it over. He looked up something and showed her. "That is from the old building, the one that got blown up. Giles had teams going over to excavate it and the other old buildings for anything they could salvage. Including the old filing cabinets." Fury nodded once. "At one point in time, a single researcher was working with their research teams, after the war. They wanted stronger slayers, or something to enhance the slayer so they lasted longer than a few weeks.

"Not much benefit for a lifetime of taking care of them and training them as they put it." Hill grimaced. "When the old head, two before Travers, found out he had them killed. Everyone but three tiny kids in the family. Cousins and all. Though, the team did kill a child that was not of the family thinking it was the elder teenage daughter. It was actually a friend of hers staying over the night. The girl was out on a date and the cops found her first." He looked at Maria. "I do believe that was your grandmother."

"How did you know that?" she asked.

"We did the scrying version of a background check when we found out another girl had a mother who's a spook," Xander said. "It freaked out Willow so she did it and made notes on everyone's relatives." Hill rolled her eyes. He looked at Fury. "We're not exactly the sort HYDRA would adore, Fury. They don't want to deal with demons. They might want to do what the Initiative program did but not fight them like the girls do. They know that the slayer essence is what activates a slayer.

"We've been handy in getting that information out so people could protect the girls who needed it." Fury nodded once. "We've had a few extremists but it was more of the 'all demons must go' sort than the 'remake the human race'. They're more humans first and only. We've since run them out of the research council for trying to come up with a weapon to make sure of it."

Fury smirked a tiny bit. "At least you're proactive on that stuff."

"Yes, I am. And warlords." He grinned. Fury stared. Xander stared back then grinned. "You can tell my uncle to quit trying to be in six places at once too. Willow never gave him that ability and does he really want her to make him magical clones?"

"I can pass that on," Maria said. She texted that to him, smiling at the answer back. "He said he'd like one that could do paperwork but then someone like Stark would get hold of them to test the magic." She looked at him. "The upcoming battle?"

"We sent you the vision," he said. "It should be in your inbox." She looked and found it, nodding and sharing it with Fury. "We should be able to handle it on our own but if there's agents who want to jump in, go for it. Even the bad type can help in battles then disappear."

Fury nodded. "They'd have to because we'd arrest them on sight. Not during the battle if they were helping, but as soon as humanly possible."

"That's your shit, Fury. It doesn't involve us at all. Not like we like to hire agents to be field watchers. The ones we've hired have complained that they felt discriminated against."

"Which makes sense," Hill agreed. "Have you done Suzette's yearly check?"

"Yup. She's good until we do one in a few months. She's coming to camp."

Hill nodded. "Camp is good for them." She stared at him. "If we wanted to add a person there to guard the girls?"

Xander snickered, shaking his head. "Council only and if you're coming you have to talk to Willow."

"Fine," she agreed. "I'll see how that works out. We do employ one other slayer."

"We know." He grinned. "We know were all the girls are and the tree of baubles makes sure we realize when they need help."

"What's that?" Fury asked.

"It's a little sculpture full of bubbles that act as a wellness check. Like the clock in the _Harry Potter_ series."

"Oh. That makes sense. Probably how you know to check on some girls that aren't anywhere near civilization."

"Civilization is everywhere. Even the slayer that's in a headhunter tribe has civilization. They may not have technology but that's a whole different thing."

"Yes it is," Fury agreed, staring at him. "If you or your girls find anything about HYDRA we want to know first."

"If we don't have to destroy them," Xander agreed. "Like Syvette did this morning." Hill looked up the bulletin board. "She told us personally. An agent in France had gotten her out of bed early last night to come look at a demon situation. The researcher had been trying to extract a Mohra's healing blood against his will so others of his clan were massing to stop them. She stepped in to ask if they needed human help to get in and they let her do the things they couldn't, like lock picking, then they took out the researcher and all his people. The agent moaned over that and one of the demons made him admit he was working with him so they stabbed him a lot and let her go tell other humans in charge as they put it."

"Eww," Hill said. "Any idea on the agent?"

"She called her contact in Interpol to hand him over and make the report." She nodded, sending him a request for information. "He wasn't SHIELD Europe that she said. She said he was a French intelligence agent."

"We didn't think they spread that far," Fury complained. "Hill?"

"No answer yet, sir."

"Fine. Let me know when you do." He looked at Xander. "So from now on we talk with you?"

"Unless you want to talk to Buffy and Willow, probably. You can talk to Andrew. He's the housemother and he'll gladly come talk to you with Faith."

"I might. Rosenburg and Summers give me headaches when we have to talk about things," Fury said. Xander smiled. "I know, they do it on purpose." Xander nodded. "How did they get along with Stark?"

"Why would they have?"

"Over Suzette," Hill said. "Or the two that Stark helped heal."

"No need for them to. Andrew and I handle the minis. They weren't in on the rescue of the girls. They didn't need to give Stark any information on them. Stark's people sent them over via the coven so they didn't have to fly. I'm pretty sure his AI talked to the coven instead of him."

"That's fine. I'm not sure if he could handle magic," Fury said.

Xander shrugged. "He didn't seem to be bothered by it during the raids when some went on around him."

"Point." He looked at Hill then at him. "What about weapons?"

Xander smiled. "What weapons?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Harris. You have boyfriends who give you weapons."

"I have a few girlfriends who do too," he said dryly. "And one who helps me fix them." Fury stared at him. "They're a precious thing, especially since it means I'm not alone."

"Does Rosenburg like them?" Hill asked.

"She considers it practical and that it's better if I'm not miserably alone as she put it. So she puts up with them. I do try to keep them apart since a few have wanted to protest to Willow on my behalf. Especially since I was in the middle of sex when I got turned into a black cat by one of the mini witches she was training."

"I can only imagine the fit I'd throw if that happened," Hill said then shuddered.

"You're not my type, Hill. You're not dangerous enough to be one of mine," Xander quipped, smiling at her. "Aren't you happier that way?"

"I'm more than dangerous enough, Harris, but yes I am."

Fury snorted. "You're not as dangerous as the one who he kissed and took the biological weapon from last year," Fury said, staring at Xander. "Or the one with the dirty bomb."

"That was real handy closing the hellmouth in Brazil," Xander quipped. He smiled. "It meant the demons on that plane aren't going to try again anytime soon."

Fury sat up, staring at him. "You used it to close the hellmouth?"

"Yup. Rearmed it and shoved it through during the fight. Plansa did the shoving during the battle." Fury groaned, shaking his head. "The biological one got turned off and is in a corner unless we need it someday for a similar thing."

"Fuck," Fury said. "No. We can get you something better."

"I can probably make better, Fury. Some of the plans I found while in Africa and Asia were good for that." Fury stared at him. "Who do you think rescued the mini slayers from the bad people that wanted them for whatever reason?"

"Can we get a damn list?" he demanded.

Xander shrugged. "I don't go by names usually but you can look at my journals. Don't let my uncle do it, he'll probably complain again that he could get me into the military for *real* training so he could recruit me."

"I'd never let him recruit you, kid. You're nuts," Fury said. Xander smiled happily. "The girls need you to be that nuts so they win. SHIELD doesn't need that level of insane yet. If we do, we'll talk Stark into doing field work." Xander laughed.

"It might calm him down," Hill said.

Xander looked at her, then reached over to pat her on the arm. "He saw me taking down a rebel band to rescue one of the minis and then critiqued my use of the weapons I had on hand. Some day you can straighten him out, maybe." He looked at Fury again. "Beyond that.... Oh, Hill, Andrew made new recipes."

"I get them off the site directly."

"The newest three aren't. Including for the molecular destabilizer he's been working on." She stared at him. "He's planning on testing it during the upcoming battle in DC."

"Hell no," Fury said. "Not at that battle. Too much risk of hitting someone who'd complain. Have him let Stark test it."

"He doesn't want to ruin Stark's childlike innocence about magic," Xander quipped. "One of the girls suggested it."

Fury shook his head. "Not that battle."

"You tell him. If it's an advantage during the battle he can use it and do all the politicians who'll scream later for all I give a damn. I'm the practical one of the Council, Fury, not the idealist that Willow tries to be sometimes."

Fury huffed. "I'll talk to him."

"I will, sir, since I'm our liaison with them," Hill said. She looked at Xander. "What else is he working on?"

Xander shrugged. "I don't know. I've been out with the minis. Ask him."

"How do you run the Council when you're not there?" Fury demanded.

"Email. The research council especially likes emails. It means I don't show up and breathe on their books."

Fury shook his head as he got up and walked off. "Hill, find out about that thing tonight. Harris, good hunting."

"Thank you." He got up and strolled off, going to have some real danish. He wanted something sweet and flaky that wasn't his girlfriend of the moment. He did text Andrew to warn him to pull those journals out and about Hill visiting. Andrew promised he'd pull out the pretty things to impress her. And make sure she was eating since she looked a bit thin.

***

Six days later, Hill was dragging a large box on wheels into Stark's lab. "Stark." He looked up and stared at the box. "Andrew was tinkering. We need you to test it before the battle in five weeks in DC." She let him have the box. "It's a molecular destabilizer. It works very well but it turns things to ash at the molecular level. He said it's set too high for the tree they tried it on but then realized he hadn't put on the turn-down knob as he put it. Also, he probably tucked in more recipes for Rogers and Suzette."

He opened the crate, looking at it. "How does it work?"

She pointed. "Set it, fires there," she said. "Otherwise, no damn idea. Andrew does things like that."

He nodded once. "Sure, I can look this over. JARVIS, send me Bruce please."

"I can do so," the AI said. "Agent Hill, Suzette was bouncing around when she heard you were here. She's on the main living floor."

"I'll go see her in a minute. I have the entry key so she can be gotten to the camp." She pulled out the packet of papers, sorting through them. "Recipes, notes, slayer notes, and battle vision." She handed that to Steve when he walked in with Suzette.

He looked it over, grimacing. "That's sad."

"Yes it is," she agreed. "He sent more recipes and her entry key to the camp." She handed that packet over from her bag. Suzette gave her a hug so she cuddled her back. "You're a good girl. You won't do things like Andrew did and make a portable wormhole machine." She laughed and took the recipes to look over. She looked up to find Stark staring at her. "He was watching tv."

"I've seen that show. They could use people like them."

"Andrew asked us if we could recruit people like that." She shook her head. "They're... the main house is a bit insane at times."

Steve patted her on the arm. "It could be worse."

"Yes, I could be in residence at a house full of teenage girls who wanted clothing and dating advice since I've gone on dates."

Stark was fiddling with his screwdriver. "How many other odd weapons do they have?"

"Many. Though they do come in handy. Harris took a dirty bomb off a girlfriend and it was used at the battle in Brazil to close the portal from the demon's side." Stark blinked, staring at her. "He was very happy it was useful."

"Uh-huh," Stark said. "And Harris liked that idea?"

"I'm fairly certain it was his plan," she said dryly. "He can find uses for things like that. We know they've got at least one other weapon in that sort of group to be used at a later date in probably another invasion situation."

Stark nodded. "I'd like to look at that."

"Talk to Harris. He's in charge of the armory."

"He does a lot," Steve said. "They need to hire."

"No one wants to work with the demon community," Hill said. "Not even the PETA people want to help them. Most everyone wants them to do their job and not help them. Especially agents." Suzette was staring at her. "Most people consider demons too weird to deal with."

"I've seen that."

"It means the Council can't hire a lot of people."

"That's sad. More people need to help."

"Yes they do. If only so Harris doesn't have to do half of everything." She smiled. "Because he looked like he could use a vacation with a girlfriend."

"Awww. Maybe he'll get one after camp."

"Maybe," she agreed. She opened the packet. "Okay, on the leaving day for camp, you put that on so they know where to pick you up from." She nodded, looking at it. "That'll let their bus driver, however they do that, know to stop here. You and the others in the area can decide where to meet to catch the bus." She nodded again. "That's your paperwork if they ask at the border. You don't need a passport. That's your beginning Council ID paperwork in case you need to get across the border. Slayers on duty, or in hiding, can cross almost any border with that. There's a few where you shouldn't but I doubt you'll be in Pakistan anytime soon or in the Middle East. Or two countries in Africa." Suzette nodded at that. "So put those somewhere safe that you or your father can grab it from."

"Okay." She looked up at her father. He took it. "Your safe?"

"That'll work." She smiled. "Take the recipes upstairs?" She did that. "Thank you, Agent Hill."

"Welcome. The girls are a bit too bouncy for my tastes. They wear me out just talking to a few of the teens in the main house."

"What does Mr. Giles do?" Stark asked.

"He's ill. We just found out he's ill," she said.

"Oh. That makes more sense about Harris doing half of everything."

She nodded. "And then some." Stark looked at her. "A demon activated a cancer."

Stark shuddered. "What type so we can be aware of them?" He pulled up a digital copy of the identification manual. She flipped it to that one so they could see the picture. "We got amendments on that one I think." They were added to the copy. "Ah, I see. Okay, we'll stay far away from them."

"A great idea," Steve agreed. Clint came back in with Suzette dancing around him. "Are you hyper?" he asked with a grin.

"Yup!"

"Someone shared Nat's brownie with her," Clint said. "When do I get to teach her weapons?"

"Next year," Steve said. "Let her get better in hand-to-hand."

"Okay." He hugged the little girl. She climbed up him, making him smile. "Getting better at that, kiddo. Hey, Hill."

"Andrew made a molecular destabilizer we wanted Stark to check. He said he would've shown him but he didn't want to ruin his childlike innocence about magical tech." Stark snorted, shaking his head. "They hold a magical tech conference in two weeks in Omaha," she said, pointing at the invitation. "Write a report if you go." She looked at Suzette. "Let me check in."

"Is Uncle Xander okay? I had a bad dream about him being overrun earlier."

"He's fine. He had the same dream so he's making plans."

"That was a slayer dream?"

"Yes it was. I had the same one and checked with him."

"Oh, okay. That's good. Why did he glow?"

"I have no idea and some of that is interpretation. You'd have to email him to make sure he's okay."

"I can do that." She looked at her father.

"We can do that later," he promised.

"Good." She kissed her uncle on the cheek. "You have licorice. I can smell it."

"I do but it's mine."

She pouted. "I can't even have a tiny piece?"

"If you can do three things in the gym, I'll let you have a tiny piece." He carried her off to help her wear out the energy.

Steve looked at Hill. "Should she have those?"

"Some of us have them and some don't. I don't have many. I've only had three. A few of the minis have one about every single bad problem and we think they have latent seer genes. Unless she sees the other girls being taken out, she'll be okay. Usually the mind makes them look less lethal than they can be." Steve nodded. "Beth is one who gets them at the drop of a hat. That's most of the reason why she usually looks exhausted these days."

"I can help with that battle," Steve said.

"As Harris put it, whoever jumps in jumps," she said bluntly. "But if they're someone like an agent that's honoring HYDRA they can help and then run for their lives."

Steve nodded. "Okay. I can do that. Let me know a better date?"

"Gladly." She shook his hand and nodded at Stark. "Email Andrew if you want particulars." She left, going to calm down. All the younger slayers were bouncy and it wore her out. When she reported, she pulled out three journals and tossed them to Fury. "His."

"Did you read them?" Fury asked.

"No. I thought you'd want someone in Evidence to read them over for names." She walked off. "I'm going to rest. They're starting the pre-battle bounciness early."

"That's probably a bad thing," Fury said, sending Harris an email about that being an indication that it's a bigger fight than they'd expect. He paged his other good hand. Coulson walked in so he handed over the journals. "Find out if anyone on our watch list was taken care of. That's their hunting journal."

"Yes, Nick." He looked at them. "Council related?" Fury nodded. "When is the next battle?"

"Five weeks in DC."

"Fine. Give me a firm date so I can help." He walked off, going back to his office so he could read and make notes. He frowned after the first few pages. "Does he think he's in an anime?"

***

The next morning he was waiting on Fury when he came in. "This one needs to be taken out of the field. He's either suicidal or insane."

"How many?" Fury asked, trying not to smirk. That's how he thought of Harris too, insane.

"We've figured out most everyone but a few aren't descriptive enough. The guy with the big nose and all the guns in Botswana isn't very descriptive."

"Your nephew's dating him," Fury said. "He sent me an email last night to ignore him, he had changed after helping the slayers in a later battle, and you didn't get that journal of his."

"These..." He cleared his throat. "These are Xander's?" Fury nodded. "Damn it."

"I'm fairly certain most agents add that to his name," Fury said dryly, smirking at him. "He asked that I not give those to you because of the way you want him to get *real* training."

"I'll settle for a psychological examination and a decent lover now," Coulson said dryly. Now he felt really sorry for the kid. If he had taken Xander from his parents during that fateful visit, the guy would be normal. Or at least more normal but possibly influenced by Barton and Natasha. "Did he ever get those slavers?"

"You'd have to check the rest of his journals," Fury said. "He only handed over those three."

"Harris said Andrew only handed over those because they were the nicer version he had written for Giles' benefit," Hill said from the doorway. "I asked him how many more there were when he called last night to tell me one of the girls in Asia had run into a HYDRA base and had let the demons she was trying to fight off handle them so he'd leave the area. He said her report said they acted like a viking horde and pillaged but may have left information." She handed over a copy of that report.

Coulson read it over, scratching one of his eyebrows. "Raping, pillaging, burning, and stomping on the base. They definitely destroyed the HYDRA agents." He handed it to Fury. "Should I send Barton and Romanoff?"

"I'll send a team," Hill said, handing in that form. Fury signed off after glancing at it. She looked at Phil. "He sounded resigned that you probably had those and then quipped that at least you'd probably quit trying to get him to join the military." She walked off.

Fury looked at him. "Don't make a wish or say anything that would prompt Rosenburg to change him again," he warned.

"I won't. I'll see if I can get the real journals to see if there's more information in them." He walked off, going to a nearby park. "Xander?" he called, looking up. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it only worked for slayers. He heard the sigh and looked at his nephew as he appeared. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what? That I'm more an action hero than you are?" he asked dryly. "Because you'd give me that stupid look you're giving me right now." Phil scowled instead. Xander stared back. "Sorry you didn't like them."

"If you had told me, I could've gotten you some limited help to deal with the bigger things."

"I learned long ago not to trust most people, Phil. Especially not military or agents after that whole Initiative mess. As soon as we heard about SHIELD we knew the same rules applied to them. Especially after meeting with Fury for the first time, and that was before I went to Africa."

"You could have told me. I'm your uncle."

"I know that. You didn't talk to me in fifteen years. Why would I come to you for anything?"

Phil slumped, staring at him. "You can always trust me, Xander. I'm not ever going to hurt one of the slayers or you. Like you, nearly dying made me reevaluate some things. I wrote you a letter after that but you sent it back unopened."

"I never got one."

"Maybe it was the doctors then." He stared at him. "Can I help you and the girls somehow?"

"Not really. We manage pretty well overall. I could sometimes use an assistant to do some of the paperwork that tends to build up on me."

"For the minis?"

"For the whole Council. Giles has cancer."

"Oh, I'm sorry." He stared at him. "You're second-in-command?" Xander smirked and nodded. "I can definitely look for an assistant for you who likes to help mentor bouncy young women. I know a few I'd suggest."

"I about talked Sarabeth into it but Willow didn't like that idea because she has kids."

"Children give you a reason to keep fighting," Phil said. "And a reason to be a role model. The same as you are to the minis." He moved closer. "What did you leave out of those if that was the nicer version for Willow's consumption?"

"A lot." He grinned. "Including some sex."

"Fury gave them to me to comb for people who were on our watch lists."

"I figured he did. That's from my first year and a half in Africa."

"I thought maybe two years." He ran a hand over his hair. "May I see the rest?"

"Are you going to keep giving me that 'you poor pitiful bastard' look?" he asked.

"Yes. Though can I help you find a therapist perhaps?"

"Nah. Won't do me any good. I'm fine the way I am because I keep winning." He stood up. "Not like I turned to drugs when Jesse got killed. Or alcohol."

"I'm glad you didn't but ...we'd pull an agent out of the field if he was that burnt out, Xander."

"And now I'm dealing with little problems about to turn big and checking on the kids because I yanked myself out."

"I...good. I'm glad you could settle down some." He stared at him. "The guy in Botswana?"

"Hubert?"

"Hubert Richt?" Xander nodded. "You're right, he does have an extremely big nose. I thought he was in Belgium though."

"That's his retirement home. He hated snow and water. Said it aggravated his arthritis. Then he threw a party for getting old enough to get arthritis."

"I've seen others who did that," Phil said. He stared at him. "You?"

"I've had arthritis since the swim team incident. The mermaid taint makes my shoulders ache at times." He shrugged and walked off. "I sent them to Hill since Andrew told me he had handed those over. Still the nicer version. The others are in a bank deposit box so Willow can't steal them."

"The one you have the account with in Cairo?" Phil asked.

Xander grinned back. "The demonic bank in Libya. They know they're field reports and I have no doubt they checked them over when I put them in there."

"I'll see if I can get copies made."

"Special ink," Xander quipped.

"I could use a vacation somewhere that quiet," Phil decided, going back to the base to tell Hill that. She warned their postal office so they could direct them to Coulson's desk instead. Since it usually took four days to get mail from Cleveland to New York, he decided to go to Libya first. He hadn't been there in years. He brought Barton and Romanoff with him for protection, just in case, and so he could get a second opinion on his nephew's state of mind. Unlike Fury, he was worried about Xander for a few reasons beyond what and who he dated.

***

Four days later, Phil Coulson showed up back in his office looking like he hadn't slept. Which he hadn't. He also looked like he had been on a drinking binge in some dive bar, which he hadn't. He was still sick to his stomach but no alcohol had been involved. He found Fury waiting and stared at him. "A demon had a slayer-specific weapon and blackmailed Xander into sleeping with him so he wouldn't use it," he said quietly. "Twice. The second time, Xander managed to have the thing stolen." Fury nodded, looking impressed. "My nephew is slightly... Warped. I'll go with warped. He said it happens and went on with it."

"It does sometimes," Fury agreed. "Was it at gunpoint?"

"Nearly. Then he slept with the thief who did it for him because he didn't want paid, he wanted to know why half of his contacts got that dopey look on their faces when he mentioned Xander. Xander made it much better for him by what he wrote and now that thief gets that dopey look about him." He stared at his boss and friend. "Is it too late to save him?"

"Probably. He seems content to help the girls. That's his version of a holy quest." He looked at his best man. "What did you read that made you that tense?"

"You don't want to know," he admitted. "You really don't." Fury shrugged and walked off. "I'll put what's necessary into a report." He saw the other journals there and got into them. He agreed, half of what he had read, Xander should not tell anyone. Phil felt sorry for his nephew and vowed to help him heal and move on. If they both made it through the next apocalypse battle.

***

Natasha and Clint walked off the elevator, seeing Steve watching the news. "You should ask Xander if he needs help with the upcoming apocalypse's battle plans," Clint said. "He's good but you're better."

"I can do that." He used his phone to email him. Then he looked at them. "Where did you two go?"

"Coulson wanted to look at Xander's patrol journals from his training times in Africa and Asia," Natasha said. "He was a bit burnt out then."

"I figured he was. From the publically available information he had just lost his best girl and whole town."

"We think he got possessed by some sort of action movie star," Clint said, flopping down. "He did a lot of stuff no one knew about. Including taking out a few targets that was necessary."

Andrew appeared, looking at him. "Don't look at Xander differently. He did what he had to do with what he had. I don't let people trash Xander outside Willow, and I can't stop her without making her a yappy dog." He looked at Steve, handing over an envelope. "What he's already figured out. He said if you have an idea that's different to talk to him and he'd look at it but right now he's having a day of remembrance and he's a bit tipsy." He disappeared.

"There's been many I wanted to do that with," Steve agreed. He looked over the plans, frowning. "That's a bad area to pick the fight. There's a park...." He texted Xander to ask that question. He got back 'it's a donated park and they had threatened to kill anyone who ripped it up, including sending the photocopy of an unsigned warrant for their arrest for ripping up said park during the battle. The ending about the senator in question being one of the ones who had summoned the demon's egg made him scowl. "Great," Steve muttered. "Politicians and demons." Natasha snorted, shaking her head. "The park up the street from the battle was donated by a senator who has vowed to arrest Xander and the girls for ripping it up if it gets hurt during the battle, but he's one who helped summon it."

"Of course," she agreed. "They're like that." She sat down. "I have no idea what he's remembering today."

"The Council history book is on my bookshelf." He looked at her. "He's allowed to remember the bad times too, Natasha. Some of us do it that way."

"Agents are trained not to."

"Xander's more a soldier and he wasn't trained not to express emotion," Steve said simply. "If he was, I doubt he'd be as good to the minis as he is."

Clint nodded. "He outbid a few people for some of the girls but didn't marry them." Steve looked at him. "They were taking bids for bride price for a few of the girls. He paid the parents off and moved the girls to somewhere safer, letting them set up their own lives. He never let them do the ceremony. It pissed off some parents but they knew he wasn't going to marry them, just set them free. Including two girls that weren't slayers but were in bad shape and had been beaten by their parents for objecting to being married off for the good of their family. The family considered them witches for being twins." He smirked a tiny bit. "They were going for minimal prices but Xander saved them."

"Good," Steve said. "It's an honorable thing to do."

"One asked why he wasn't going to take her as a spouse and he said because he didn't do that to women. Then he called Buffy so they could chat. His journal said she got really mad at her family and praised Xander for saving the girls."

"Then she nagged about it later," Natasha said. "How he could have gotten a decent girlfriend from one of them."

"Instead of the one who tried to use him as a biological weapon incubator," Clint finished.

Steve stared at him. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine. He apparently got up off the sick bed and went back to work as soon as his fever fully broke," Natasha said. Steve looked at her. "He said he felt miserable but he was worried about people who kept coming in to stare at him. He thinks they wanted samples."

"Yes, I do," Stark said as he came off the elevator. "And to ask Andrew how he did that." He scowled at them. "What else did he do?"

"A lot of shit we're trained not to do," Clint said bluntly. "Including taking on overwhelming forces, taking out someone by screwing them because it's the only option, and a lot of other things that no one wants to know about just in case."

Stark nodded. "He sounds like he could be your kid."

Clint stared at him. "Don't say that, someone might make it so."

Stark snorted and walked off to get coffee. "He could do a lot worse than you, Barton."

"Thanks." He looked at Natasha, who smirked. Then at Steve. "Are they good plans?"

"They're decent. We can work with them and adjust as things happen. Hopefully we can sideswipe the senator who is protecting the park."

"Need a donation?" Stark asked, coming back with his new cup of coffee. Steve showed him the text message and the map. "Hmm. Well, we can always get him out of office." He walked off sipping his coffee. "Let me know when so I can get there." He disappeared into the elevator.

Steve nodded. "You guys going to come to that one?" They nodded. "Cool. We need to find out if our usual weapons will work."

Natasha pointed. "It says beheading."

He looked at the map, nodding at the notes on the side. "It does. We can work on that." They all nodded. They had been working with Suzette's weapons. They weren't too bad.

***

Steve looked at Suzette. "We'll all be okay."

"I know you will and so will Uncle Xander and the big slayers." She stared up at him. "It doesn't mean I won't fuss over every single injury when you get home."

He smiled and picked her up to cuddle. "I'd expect that." She waved at the others waiting on Steve.

"We'll be fine, kiddo. I promise," Clint called.

"You'd better or I'm stealing your bow until you're better and teaching myself how to use it."

He laughed. "I'll let you but give you lessons."

Steve put her back down. "Go back inside. Be a good girl for the agent watching you until Aunt Pepper gets out here." She nodded, skipping back inside. He picked up his bag and shield, heading for their transport. "Kids are amazing," he said once he was on board. "She's not all that upset or worried."

"She has faith we'll come back to her," Natasha said, looking at him. "Most children do not believe in truly bad things happening to their parents."

He nodded. "I try to keep it from her too." He relaxed and stared out the front screen of the jet taking them down to DC. "Stark, do you have everything?"

"It's in the crate I shipped ahead," he said, still reading something. "That senator's dirty as hell." He showed them what he had found. Steve grimaced. "We can handle it?"

"Yup," Steve agreed. "We can." Everyone else nodded. They got off at the airport and took Stark's rented limo to the hotel. Some people still gave him dirty looks because he had been in a fight against HYDRA people and it had messed up a road or four, but he was used to it after the ones he got in New York after the invasion.

Xander was strolling up the street sipping a soda and got even worse looks. He looked at one sneering woman. "The offer for you to do it your own damn self while we watch stands, lady." She hurried off. "We don't know why we save you ungrateful bitches but we do," he called after her, smiling and waving. "Make us quit, we dare you." The others staring huffed off. He grinned at them. "Have a *great* day, people.

"Remember, we're having a battle. You don't want to be trapped there. And if you are, don't complain to us because we gave you over a week of warning to find a day out of the house." He turned back around and walked into the hotel. "Hey, guys. Planning's going on in my room with the latest street scans and the local PD guys." He walked around Stark. "Andrew took his machine back and he's going to use it on that senator if he tries crap. He's got ManMS thanks to bouncy slayers." He finished his soda and tossed it out before getting onto the elevator and heading up to his room.

Stark shook his head. "I think he learned how to be bouncy from the slayers." They got checked in and went up to their rooms. Then Steve went to Xander's room to get in on the planning while Stark looked over the satellite images.

***

Xander turned at the sound of fighting behind him, staring at the being there. It wasn't one of the demons that was trying to immigrate. Instead it was a tallish furry thing. It kinda looked like a racoon. At least the guy was helping. "Guys, is he from the invading beings?" he called. "If not, let's see who and what he is."

"He's not in any of the manuals," Andrew called from his protected spot. He was using battle robots to help.

"Okay." Xander walked over once things were done with. "Hey. Did you mean to show up right after a battle when we're all paranoid?"

"I did not," he said in one of the common trade tongues.

"Great, you speak a common demon language," Xander said with a grin. "Are you natively from this earth?"

"This is earth?"

"Yes, this is earth."

"Sorry. No, I was pulled here. I mean no harm. As one of my people says, I come in peace, don't shoot me." The five foot raccoon stared at him then around then back at him. "It was messy."

"They had to be beheaded. Where are you supposed to be so we can send you home?" The alien named a set of coordinates. "'Drew?"

"I can get him home but they said they'd arrest me if I ever showed up again," he called, coming out of the van.

"Just open the portal and let him go through?" Xander suggested.

"I don't want arrested by aliens, Xander. I'll never get hot alien chicks that way," Andrew complained.

Xander sighed. "Open the portal and I'll get him home? If they bitch at me, I'll open some whoop ass again." Andrew smiled and got the witches to set up a portal around something he had created, which made for huffy witches but oh well. Xander pointed. "Let's get you home before the girls try to pet you. They'd think you were a pet and not a warrior with guns." He walked him through, handing him to a staring person. "He came through to earth by accident right as we wrapped up a battle by an invading demon plane. He's okay though."

He walked back through, ignoring the spluttering from one, choking from another, and mass screaming by a few people. The portal closed and he shook his head. "Okay. Let's go, girls." They groaned. "Hey, the hotel has showers and stuff." He pointed. They ran for the waiting rental minivans. Xander followed. "Thanks for helping, people," he called before getting in to drive. He was exhausted but he knew not to let a slayer drive him anywhere but the ER. Andrew had all his battle bots gathered into the van and left with the coven members who weren't driving the other slayer mobiles.

Steve looked at Clint, who was grinning. "Okay. No clean up?"

One of the PD people looked at him. "The fire department's coming to make that cheery bonfire, Captain. Thank you for your team's help."

"Welcome, guys. Glad we could help." They left, going back to the hotel. The few protestors were being held back by the cops. One of the slayers was out there making fun of them so Natasha poked her on the arm and pointed. She huffed but went back inside.

Xander walked out, staring at the crowd. "Then next time, *you* guys do it. We can gladly teach you how to use a sword and a stake. Willow can even impart memories so you know what slayers know. She's coming in an hour or so if you want to wait." The protestors fled. "You sure, guys?" he called with a smile and a wave at their backs. "We like helpful people and will *gladly* train all of you." He turned, finding Willow standing there. "We do."

"I'll happily give them the skills they need to fight demons so you can retire, Xander."

"Fuck you," he said in Latin, smiling at her. "And the mental hose you sucked up to get that idea. Even if I retire, I'm not retiring. I'm too young and pretty for that. I'd just go start an evil empire and bring 'Drew with me. You girls do drive us to evil real often." He walked back inside. She was huffy but yay. Stark had heard, Xander noticed him staring. He grinned and shrugged. "They do. I'm about to start my own evil empire and banish all women from it. Gay sex for everyone so they don't have to put up with nagging bitches." He got onto the elevator and went to hide in his other room. He had gotten a spare one to hide from the nagging slayers in. After every battle they all went 'but you're not a slayer and that's why you got injured' at him. Maybe seeing the real heros who were injured as well would help stop it.

Willow huffed into the hotel, staring back at Stark. "What?" she demanded. "Why are you injured?"

"Something about one of them trying to shove a news van up my ass, Rosenburg. Thankfully I fixed that problem too." She glared. He stared back. "You keep treating him like that and he's going to abandon you. Then what?"

She snorted. "He won't. He never gives up, no matter how often we encourage."

"No, guys with honor aren't going to," he said. She growled. He walked off. "If Pepper was like you, I'd give up women and doing anything for humanity too. I'd probably make a competing evil empire to his." He got onto the elevator and went up to his room. He called Pepper. "I'm so glad you're not like Rosenburg. She just nagged Harris after the battle." She said something. "No, just wanted you to know that. Bit banged up thanks to the news van but I'm good."

He smiled, laying on the bed to listen to her happy news about Suzette's math test. "That's great. Her dad will be proud. Yeah, he's fine. He's probably calming down and getting a shower. Tell her to try in about an hour or so. No, we're all at the same hotel. Thanks, Pepper. Hug the munchkin for me too." He hung up and relaxed. At least until he heard an explosion outside. Then he hopped up to look out the window. He noticed Clint sitting on his windowsill next door. "Did you have to blow them up?"

"They were planting a bomb," he said. "So yes I did." He waved at the officers responding. "I got 'em," he called.

They looked then up at him. "Thanks, Hawkeye. Nice shooting." He grinned back at them. "We'll find 'em. Warn the slayers? It's probably against them." They nodded and went to warn the girls. Who all got taken home by the witches. Except Xander. The Avengers saw him when they were leaving.

Xander was walking outside, his sword on his back over a leather jacket, t-shirt, jeans, and boots. He had on sunglasses and looked at the captured people. He stared at one. "Tell Paul I'm going to have a *talk* with him about doing that near my girls. He'll understand." The guy flinched. Xander smirked evilly, moving closer. "What was the idea?"

"Too many slayers," he said, sounding weak. "Please, Xander."

"Oh, no, baby, you get to go to jail for that. You tried to harm my girls. What did I do to that guy in Guyana that did that?" The guy turned pale and heaved. "Exactly. Feel *real* happy with the jail sex." He sniffed him and growled. "I'll see Paul later," he growled in his ear.

"I'll warn him!" he said frantically. "He's very sorry! He just wants fewer slayers on hand! One of the bigger names is trying to make it so and hired him to help us but he didn't want to! He said to tell you he didn't want to, but they had his daughter hostage!"

"I can get her free." He stared at him over the top of his sunglasses. "Who did that? That way I can go rescue her like the heroic stud I am."

"Some big guy in the mob!"

"Which mob?" Xander asked.

"Russian I think or maybe South American. I'm not certain."

"I can find out." He flipped open his phone. "Paul," he said smoothly. "I'm told I need to rescue your daughter so we can have a ...talk afterward. Who has her?" The voice on the phone spluttered and choked on a name. "I know him. Apparently he thought I was fun. Pity. We'll talk soon, dear." He hung up and looked at the minion. "It's a pity. If Willow had finally driven me to evil, I would've made you a sergeant in my new evil empire." The minion moaned, squeezing his knees together. "You have *fun*."

"Mr. Harris, we can rescue her," one of the agents said.

Xander snorted, looking him over. "Why would I need help?" The agent pouted. "Beyond that, you just want the kidnaper. I'll probably leave him tied up for you. Maybe I'll woo his second into taking over." He strolled off, touching something on his jacket sleeve. He disappeared.

Steve looked at the minion. "I think you pissed him off."

"I know I pissed him off," he said, starting to cry. "Damn it." He looked up. "Save me? Please? I'd rather have demon sex than prison sex." A demon appeared but the agents holding him shot it. "Hey! It's a better punishment! One of his ex's will get me in prison! I'd hate that more!"

"You can go to a supermax," one of the agents said, smiling at him. "No touching any other prisoner at any time." He walked their prisoners off to bring them in.

Willow huffed, having watched it all. "I hate it when Xander goes into evil mode. He scares the girls." She disappeared before Steve could say anything to her.

Stark looked at Steve. "I'm *so* glad Pepper isn't like her."

"Me too," Natasha said. "Or myself. I might have to change my hair color."

"You're scary in other ways, Nat," Clint quipped with a grin. "No one would expect you to do magic."

"Thank you. I hope I never do." She got into the limo. The others got in and Steve was still shaking his head when the limo drove off.

***

Suzette bounded up when everyone came off the elevator. "Why did two Peruvian generals commit suicide to get away from the big slayers?" she asked, climbing up her father to cuddle him. "Do you have booboos?"

"Only a few scratches, Suzette, and I don't know. I haven't seen that news story yet." He carried her off to their apartment to cuddle and calm her down. "Thanks, Pepper."

"Welcome. The news crew covering the hotel caught all that and Willow."

Stark kissed her. "Still so glad you're not like her. Even if you could do magic. Which I'm pretty sure you can because you're just that amazing." He went to get coffee then down to his lab.

Clint, Natasha, and Bruce all went to their rooms to recover. The slayers had talked to them before the battle. It had nearly worn them out. They needed a rest. Pepper was happy with the compliment and was waiting on Suzette to come back or Tony to rejoin her so they could do stuff together.

***

Xander was nibbling toast when everyone got up the next morning. He waved at Suzette, handing her something. "Yours I do believe, young lady."

She opened it and squealed. "It's a birthday card!" She hugged him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm just fine, sweetie. I didn't get really injured at the battle and my temper's no longer mad at Willow."

"That's good. She was a butt like some of the older girls in my school." She cuddled him. "You didn't have to show up to give me my card."

"Andrew sent me to come get back his stuff Stark has." He grinned at him. "He even said please."

"We'll see." He went to start coffee and food. "When is her birthday?"

"Three days," Steve said. Xander nodded. He looked at the card, smiling at the puppies on it. "That's pretty. You should put it onto your dresser." She ran to do that. "Just for that one machine?"

"No, Andrew said he found a few other things of his that Stark found somewhere. He was doing a finding on the things agents had stolen." He held up the pictures. "Since one's a temporal gateway.... I'm actually here to close the stupid gateway since *someone* opened it." He looked at Stark. Stark had frozen, cup halfway to his lips. "We think it goes ahead of time and maybe that's what drew the alien guy."

Suzette came running back out. "Uncle Xander, why did those guys not like you and took themselves out?"

"Because they were scared I was going to sic the bouncy slayers on them," he quipped with a grin. "The bouncy ones can babble the guys to death. They're very scared of strong girls down there."

"Aww, that sucks." She ran in to get breakfast and came back out. She stood in front of him. "Do we know why I might get activated sooner?"

"Yup, we do. We think it'll be someone against SHIELD and they'll be close enough to harm you or your dad so you'll naturally activate to protect your family."

"Oh. That blows too."

"We're working to make sure it won't happen before then."

"Good." She grinned. "I got an eighty-eight on my math test."

"Congratulations, Suzette. That's a great job. I never managed to get that good of a grade in math, even when Willow cheated for me." She giggled and went back to the kitchen.

"Is it still open?" Clint asked.

"Yeah. We tracked two other aliens we need to send home here." Stark grumbled something into his coffee but stomped off. Xander followed him. Behind him, the other Avengers pulled out means of looking up little girl birthday presents. Xander grinned at Stark in the elevator. "That's why they send me to handle problems."

"I'm sure it's because you can annoy them to death?"

"Yup. Sure as hell is." He smiled. "Then again, we have one witch that drew people from a tv show's realm to help her handle a bully situation. She's three." Stark shuddered. "She was watching an action movie and he did not want to understand. Andrew still can't get him home." Stark stared at him. Xander smiled. "Andrew got to explain it. I don't handle magical emergencies except to stop the magic user sometimes. Like the one in Scotland that was summoning demons to eat the girls who wouldn't go out with him.

"We had a really long talk about how to be a real man instead of that pathetic. Including me teaching him what respect meant and how girls aren't sexual objects or for rent. He's eighteen and still hiding in a jail cell in case I find him again." Stark tried not to smile. "The cops were very happy I got there first to stop that problem. He's a very docile prisoner and he's scared to death we're going to beat him to death for disrespecting women that way." They got off on the lab floor and Xander went right to where the gateway was, closing it. He reversed it with a few twists of the crystal and the two aliens flew in and through the portal then Xander shut it off. He looked at Stark. "His other stuff? He did say please."

"I'm shocked your uncle wasn't at the battle."

"I'm not. He hates the thought of demons." He shrugged. "Some of us can handle the weirder things and some can't. He...doesn't handle that sort of stress well." He smiled. Stark got the other things packed up for him. Andrew showed up, hugged Stark then took everything and Xander with him.

Stark sat down, staring at the plans he had made of the unique creations. He hoped they were unique and no one else made a temporal gateway to the future. Then again, it was something a comic geek like Andrew would do, not something a reliable scientist would do. Maybe he should worry about who else was saving the world, because they were kind of nuts. Weird nuts in that scary way.

Willow appeared, handing something back. "Keep that away from Andrew before he uses it to pull another bimbo in chainmail." She disappeared.

Stark put the temporal gate down on the table. Andrew showed up and took it to cuddle. "She's just jealous because my hotty warrior girlfriend is cuter than her slayer girlfriend." He disappeared again.

Stark looked in his coffee then around his lab. "Okay then," he decided, going back to bed. He'd make this a weird dream. It had to be, right?

***

Steve waited until he saw on the bulletin board that Xander was reluctantly doing paperwork in Cleveland to call him. Xander appeared, giving him a hug. "Why are you so stringently watching over her?"

"Mostly to keep Buffy away from her."

Steve frowned. "Why? Is she going to say something wrong?"

"Yup." He sighed, sitting on the couch Steve was on. "Buffy has decided, in her infinite stupidity, that your daughter will some day be a squad or regional leader. Even though I've pointed out that she may not be good on patrol, and that she may not be able to patrol at all. That she may have issues with patrol or be one of the ones with the nerve problem or even just hate it that much. She's decided *someone* has to take over her spot when she dies again, and your little one is looking good for it."

"Because of me?"

"And because of where we found her and other reasons. Yeah. I've told her a few times not to start that. DNA doesn't always tell. What made you special made may not have passed over. What they were doing to her may not have any affect on patrol or may make it infinitely harder for her to patrol safely. She doesn't quite get that. Between that and the fact that she's going to activate early, and it'll be someone coming for SHIELD...." He grimaced. "There's every chance that someone like Loki being around may activate her so she could protect herself. Chaos magic will do that. Thor will definitely activate her. The hammer has that property," he said when Steve opened his mouth. "Andrew noted it one time."

"So we're looking at early activation?"

"Yup, and Willow thinks she'll lose it and go all programmed soldier instead. I told her she wouldn't but you can't tell Willow anything. Ever." Steve nodded. "So we're a bit more watching over her because yeah, she's special, but also because if there's a threat that could activate her, it's going to come for your team. Or Phil. A few of them want him." Steve grimaced. "You're doing a great job with her. I hover over three other minis that we know are going to activate early. One's Sovia. She's not supposed to activate at all but I've had three different visions stating she'd be activating because something near her is going to start off the next major big bad thing. Like the First Evil."

"Did those girls activate?"

"No. The slayer spirit didn't understand until Willow merged with the special scythe. Now she's got that ability. Willow gave it to her." Steve nodded. "Otherwise we would've lost a lot fewer mini slayers." Steve sighed. "The other two that are going to activate early, and we did not know about the one here locally, are both in Canada and we're not sure why but we know they will. Their baubles on the tree show that they're going to be activating early. It's a little purple glow in one quadrant when they start to activate and they're both showing it. Both are toddlers. One's three, one's a year-and-a-half." Steve grimaced.

"We hover over them. Andrew does them because their moms are magic people and I seem to set off some other seers into visions so they asked. I do try to hover over Sovia. Her mother's former Hungarian Intelligence and was trained by the Spetnatz to handle things. She said she can do it. The others I hover over are injured and if they get a problem near them they can't handle it. We have two that were born with Downs Syndrome." Steve nodded he knew what that was. "Neither one can protect themselves and the slayer spirit won't activate. That leaves them an easy target if we don't watch over them. The same as your little girl is because of your job, and then there's our jobs. Though I really did just show up for Andrew the other day."

"I would've wanted Stark to destroy them, just in case."

"I'm not going to destroy something that may be handy some day and makes him happy. 'Drew's had plenty of misery in his life and he doesn't need more. That's why he only wants to handle the housemother gig. He asked and he made himself that place."

"I get that it makes it easier for him but that gateway was dangerous."

Xander shrugged. "Willow's done it by accident. At least Andrew only uses it to bring warrior girls he can flirt with." Steve shook his head. "He's a comic book geek, Steve. He's not really used to human women at times and a lot of them look down on him for a few reasons, including him being such a geek. This way he can safely and easily learn how to flirt better. Some of them have also helped the slayers over the last few years."

"I get that. What can we do to not have her in that sort of danger?"

"Take out about seventy huge problems that want to end the earth. It's not *you*. It's not really your job. It's the whole SHIELD thing. Even on your own, you got attention for doing something good. You're a sign post and the guy that kids look up to. So of course the bad things want to take that down. I get a bit of that. Though I'm never going to have kids because Willow rendered me infertile when Anya asked." Steve looked at him.

Xander waved a hand. "Huge background story." He grinned. "I've got a bunch of nieces. It's close enough." Steve nodded. "If I let the girls hover over her, she'd probably like it more, but some of the girls have picked up on Buffy's BS. We don't like it, and Beth has chewed them a new one repeatedly on the more adult bulletin board. Kate got on there and nearly beat the crap out of Syvette verbally for thinking that, including how sucky it was to be a hero."

"It can be."

"The problem that we're most worried about, it's not even because of you. We're more worried about the Russians or someone like HYDRA coming for her because of who her mother is."

"I hadn't thought of that. They'd want her back."

Xander nodded. "They might. Which is why I outed her to Hill. That way she's got someone who can pull a rescue if I can't. Because there's no way they'd let you go rescue your own kid."

"I wouldn't give them a choice," Steve said.

Xander smiled. "Which is why we like you. You're like a good boy and uptight version of the guy I started out as. I pull half the stuff I do to keep the attention off the girls," he said at the confused look. "It keeps them out of harm's way."

"I hadn't thought about that."

"It's my cover story. Buffy's is the airhead society girl she used to be. Willow's just hiding so people quit looking at her like she tried to end the earth once."

"She did?"

"Grief."

"I can't say I wasn't that upset at one time," Steve said.

Xander nodded. "I've missed more than my fair share I think. Including my whole damn town." He grimaced. "Not that I liked Sunnydale but even if it was bad, it was home."

"I get that." He looked around, spotting Natasha watching. He looked at Xander again.

"Yeah, I felt her. Whatever serum they used on her tingles my slayer-around senses." He looked back at her. "You can join in." He looked at Steve again. "Mostly I'm hovering because right now, she's in a lot of danger from the HYDRA thing and whoever is going to try to get her back. That court case went away way too easily. Wolfram and Hart isn't that simple or that nice. I'm still trying to find out anything on their new plans."

"Their local office was shut down," Natasha said.

"They have lawyers on sixteen different demon planes but another six countries have major offices down here," Xander told her. "You can't end them that easily. Their head guys are all higher level demons. They're the ones that did the invasion in LA, with a few friends."

She frowned, sitting down. "Why would they want her?"

"Because they could win favor with whoever had her," Steve said.

"I'm pretty sure they have a file on her for that. I'm pretty sure it'd mirror Buffy's reasons, and the ones that Fury's got for watching her so hard." He stared at him. "Maybe if I can catch someone who's watching her I can get a few more answers and keep them off her. Or let you handle them afterward, but for right now, we've all got watch over her and Sovia. Because someone showed up on her mommy's doorstep demanding that she turn her daughter over so they could examine her spinal system." Steve frowned. "Her mommy shot him. Then she brought hell down with her former partners. We're not sure who they were, beyond stupid, but they did try."

"Do we think my serum passed on?" Steve asked.

"No." Xander smiled. "She tested out as fully normal. The way we used to find the Russian spies at the Council, by their records, was a simple blood test all new initiates had to take. It tested for non-human blood sources. Some were considered useful so kept. The serum they gave her does read on it. So does the one you were given as far as I know. Andrew said you popped positive on a magical version he did long distance one night." Steve stared at him. "He did it when he was a teenager, Steve. Long before he joined. Comic book geek and you're a living, breathing comic hero."

"I guess. Was it built on demon blood or something?"

"No. But it cranked your DNA off human normal. The same as the mermaid essence that taints me did to mine."

"Oh. The physical changes...."

"Screwed with some of the DNA. We're pretty sure it was the radiation part. Hellmouth kids, those born really close to it, have the same sort of reading due to our carried radiation."

"I had not thought about that," Natasha said. "As far as I know I was not irradiated."

"I'm thinking they did it to the serum," Xander said. "Instead of to you. You both read differently on that test according to Andrew when he was babbling at Willow about a new one that they caught sight of that glowed in the same way you do."

She considered that. "Others may have survived."

"It's a guy. That's all we know. Andrew does a search on all the hellmouth kids every month to make sure Cleveland's not making any. He said he routinely picks up you and this time he picked up one near you. Not really close but a few buildings away and all he got was male before Willow accidentally knocked him out of his trance."

"Which you think is someone here to take her," Steve said.

"My bet, yes."

Steve considered it. "Can we do this without as much hovering?"

"Yeah, I was going to cut back anyway. We're in our busy season," he said dryly. "I've got another two battles in the next week overseas and then some cult in Bolivia trying to resurrect someone we've got to stop. Since there's not that many people in the Council who can handle that stuff....it's my busy season."

"You knew I'd ask," Steve said.

Xander nodded with a grin. "I expected this talk last month."

"I was thinking it was weird."

"It is but she's still too important to risk. The slayer spirit likes her a lot. I communed with the scythe and she was really happy with her and Sovia. The same way she felt about Faith." Steve stared. "Not because of you but because of her attitude and her mind."

"Which could mean she's taking your spot," Natasha said.

"No slayer will ever take my spot. They're too valuable to risk doing the insane shit I have to do weekly to handle things." He looked at her. "I'd train agents but the only ones who want to do the job for real, instead of gathering intel on us, aren't really mentally steady."

"I can see that problem," she agreed. "I don't know many I could suggest." Xander nodded. "Are you immortal?"

"No but I live every day like I am. Otherwise I look bad to the girls. They all inherited the feeling that they're *special* and I'm normal. Buffy did that too." He shrugged and grinned. "You should see the whining when I get hurt, because if I wasn't *normal* I wouldn't get hurt."

"You're the same sort of human we all are," Steve said.

"No, you're counted as special. Even Barton is because of his training and stuff. I'm just a guy who jumped in. The slayer spirit likes me a lot more than some of the girls. I'm okay with that because there's a few slayers I'd like to sell to slaver demons." He grinned. "Including Willow's girlfriend. Who tried to have me arrested for training one of the girls. Giles kicked her out of the main house for it."

Natasha shook her head. "It's like a soap opera."

"It's mostly young adults and teenage girls," Xander quipped. "When have they not been like that?"

"Point," she admitted. "I was not but normal girls can be."

Xander nodded quickly with a grin. "Yes. They are. And I have over five hundred of them nagging me for being *normal*."

Steve shook his head. "I don't think you're normal."

"Me either but I gotta be me. Or else I'll go start that evil empire and kick all the women out of it. Willow and some of the slayers have really made me see I never want to see another woman again." He felt the magic start and looked up. "You do that," he sneered. "Watch me come back there and beat you to death." The magic stopped. He grinned. "She's scrying."

Steve shook his head. "You're nuts."

"Possibly but it's a life, ya know." He stared at him. "Would you give it up if you could?"

"No," he admitted.

"Me either. Someone's gotta do the job. Might as well be me since I'm already here. If not, I'll start that evil empire and we'll fix things." He looked up then smiled at him. "Or I'll set off a bomb that has something like an ugly spell on the main building to stop all the shit."

Natasha smiled. "Can they do that?"

"Yes. They can. Some of the teenage witches get the same stuff from the slayers. They've made very pretty plans we've stopped so far. Andrew and I are going on real vacation before the camp and they're not going to like a week of doing it on their own. Buffy forbid it but yay." He smiled. "I need one." He stood up. "Let me get back. I can feel the huffy witch feelings." No disappearing. He touched his amulet and went back to the main building, glaring at Willow. "Yes, you've turned me off women for good because then I don't have to deal with one like you forever. You've managed to outdo Anya with PMS for the bitchy award." He walked off. "'Drew, where are we going on vacation?"

"Buffy said we can't."

"Buffy can get off her ass and go solve problems for a week. She does when we're running camp." He stared at him. "Where? So I can end up near there?"

"I was thinking Panama."

"I can do that. Spot that guy for me so I can go find him?"

"I'll try later." Xander nodded, going outside to get away from the huffy witch/slayer combo stomping up the hallway. "I think it's great Xander's now firmly gay thanks to you two turning him off women. His boyfriends seem so much nicer." Buffy glared. He grinned back. "We're still going on vacation."

"I said you can't."

"I said we are," Andrew said firmly. "Xander's right, you can go help the other slayers instead of watching daytime tv." He walked off. "I'm going to get away from you two before you two ruin me for women. My girlfriend would be really upset if I quit liking women."

"I thought I said no more pulling women," Willow bitched.

Andrew looked at her. "She's in my cooking class, thank you. I can talk to normal human women." He went out back to pick veggies from the garden. "Xander, can I be your second-in-command when you start your evil empire of gayness?" he called.

"You already are, 'Drew. Talk me out of making a bomb that only works on girls?"

"A DNA coded bomb that way would be hard. We've got half the same code. Let me think about how to do it better."

"Sure. Thanks, man." He grinned from his treehouse. Someone tried to summon him but he had protections out here against all forms of magic or other versions of technology that could move him. "'Drew, the next time you pull someone, can you pull from Atlantis or something?"

"I sure can. I really like that show." He grinned. "I'd love to see the SGA teams here helping the girls. At least I'd trust them to want to save the world with us. We could hide behind Sheppard."

"That would be really great." He sipped from his canteen. It had protections too. Even against someone trying to potion it like had happened earlier. It had splashed the potion back on the user. She wasn't happy to be splashed with her lust potion.

***

Willow glared at Andrew that night over dinner. "Why are you putting out anti-magic stuff?"

"So guys can protect themselves from their girlfriends," he said dryly, then stuffed his mouth with some pork chop.

Xander looked at him. "You took what I paid you for that one bit and bought stock?"

"I did." He smiled.

"Cool. That means I paid you in stock options. That's sweet." He dug into his own dinner again. Buffy and Willow were both staring at him. "It's how I protect myself and how I make money since my tiny little paycheck doesn't cover me eating while I'm traveling and having things reimbursed is taking *way* too long. Ask Sascha, the potion repelling charms work wonders. Don't they, Sascha?" She pouted but nodded. Buffy was staring in open-mouthed shock. He smiled and ate some potatoes. "Anya always wanted to start a business like that. It was in her stuff." He ate another bite. "Our line of 'is your girlfriend a witch, we can help protect you from her' stuff is really well liked."

"But..." Buffy said. "But..buttt...."

"You're not a car, quit stuttering," Andrew said. "It's all below what we use here for protection and some of it's been really neat work." Xander nodded while he chewed. "We never sell to military sources because of that little raid problem we had for a while. It's come in real handy and makes my tiny little paycheck feel better too. My stock dividends are really nice, Xander. Thank you."

"You're welcome, 'Drew."

"Is this part of your supposed evil empire?" Buffy demanded.

"No. That's just me making money," he said. "My evil empire will need a nice place to start so I'm looking at properties now. I'm thinking maybe Montana. Lots of nicely open lands."

"Pretty country," Andrew agreed.

"No! No, you cannot do that!" Willow said firmly, standing up. "You can't do that, Xander, and it's setting a bad example for the girls!" She shot a spell at him but the necklace he was wearing absorbed it. "How did you do that!" she shrieked.

"It's one of our most popular protection pieces," Xander said with a smile. "Against judgmental bitches." He ate another bite of dinner. She stomped off.

"You're on your own if she turns you into a pet again," Buffy complained, shaking her head.

"I've got that covered too," he said dryly. "Just in case. Since the last time I nearly got eaten." Buffy shuddered, shrinking down in her seat. "Sit up and eat like a big girl, Buffy. The girls need better role models." He ate another bite. Then he looked at 'Drew. "Panama? Not the beach?"

"I could like the beach."

"One of those generals left me a cabin on one. I doubt whoever's taking over his position will want it right away. It's on a lake with a lot of trees."

"That sounds nice," Andrew agreed. He grinned. "Sure, we can do that."

"Cool."

"Girls?"

"I'm sure there's some nearby. The guy held orgies there." Andrew beamed and nodded, getting back to his dinner.

Willow stomped back in. "Giles said you can't do that," she sneered.

"Giles did some of the spellwork for me," he said dryly. "I doubt that. I also doubt he said anything since he's sedated right now after his surgery earlier. And if you pulled him out of his body again, put him back before Dru possesses him again." He stared at her. She was going red in the face. Andrew shifted. So did the slayers. She threw something more harmful at him and it got eaten too. He smiled. "I knew that'd work." He stared at her. "Feel better? I'm pretty sure you just set off the magic alarms." Witches were stomping in to handle her. "She's mad I started my protection against witchly girlfriends line."

One of the witches looked at him. "I'd get protection against her too," she said bluntly. She hauled Willow off with the rest of the coven to talk to her about her temper and issues.

Xander smiled and waved. "I'll think of you again when I start my empire of gay."

"More an empire of women hating," Buffy said.

Xander shrugged. "Not really. Just anti-bitches." He ate another bite, staring at her. She huffed. "Hey, Glenda," he called. "Can you have your daughter do an audit of the books please?" he called. "Somehow Willow's given herself a raise so she makes three times what I do and double what Buffy does."

"I'll have her come tomorrow, Xander," the witch called back from the hallway.

"Thank you."

"You make what I do," Buffy complained.

"I make half of what you do."

"Oh."

"And I do more work than you." He stared at her. "How is your soap opera?"

She huffed. "I'm going back to school."

"Sure, go for it." He stared at her. She pouted and got back to her dinner.

One of the old liners looked over. "Xander, you're not actually in control," he called.

Buffy looked up and nodded. "Him or me. Pick, Branches."

The old liners all stared at her. "Excuse me?"

"Not like you can handle a battle situation or keep the girls fed and in toilet paper," Xander said dryly. "Not one of you can handle a budget, and Anya taught me what I didn't know about them already from real world experience. None of you can handle dealing with politicians, or the threats, or anything else we have to deal with. I don't see any of you stepping up to handle the stuff Giles can't right now."

"We thought he was."

"I have been since he went to England that first time," Xander said bluntly. "Not one of you stepped in to help." They were all glaring. He stared back. "He who sits on his ass in the library has no say in anything outside of it," he said in Latin. "You chose to do that so therefore you chose your role in the new Council."

Buffy nodded. "We all agreed on that. At least Xander knows a lot and listens to the research council when they're spouting off about prophecies. He also handles all the girls in other places, the minis, the summer camp, and all that." She shrugged. "I can't do that. Willow can't do that. 'Drew picked his spot in the Council." Andrew nodded. "He's Giles' second. We all knew that. How did you not?" The girls all nodded they had known.

"But that's indecent, he's not one of us," one of them sneered.

"You're right, I've only been doing the same job as the slayers for years," Xander said dryly. "Though a few of the girls could probably do some of it for me if and when they retire."

"That's unheard of," another one snapped. "They're *slayers*!"

"And we're here to help them," Xander said bluntly. "If you don't like that mode of operation, why are you still here?" He stared at him. "For that matter, we know you guys are making plots for when Giles gets too sick. I wouldn't. Too many high ones owe him and he'll use his last breath to curse you. Which we'd all sit back and laugh about since you didn't buy anything with magic protection." He smiled. "Now, anything else, gentlemen, and lady?" They all glared but got together to talk. He looked at Buffy, who shrugged. "You're still going to be doing the roaming problem solving while we're on vacation. We deserve one."

"You do," she sighed. "But I suck at that."

"That's because you quit being a figurehead and became an airhead," Andrew said. "The girls can't relate to you."

"Fine. Maybe I'll ask someone how to do it better."

"Ask Suzette's dad. He's good at it," Xander quipped. He finished up and went up to the office to look things over. Witch Glenda's daughter was already there and going over things. He pulled out the books he wanted her to look at. "See, way more than she had been getting."

She frowned. "That's more than I make too. Let me look, Xander, and I'll report to you and Giles." He nodded, getting what he needed and leaving. She looked things over. "Talk about embezzlement."

***

Buffy appeared at the tower, huffing slightly. She looked at Steve. "I've totally lost all control of the minis. How do I get that back?" She had no idea how Xander did this stuff but she hated that he had skipped off on vacation.

"How did you have control before?" Stark asked from his seat.

"They looked up to me. Now they see me as an ancient slayer and a few think I'm mythical." She stared at Steve. "You do good in that stuff and I suck at it."

"Sometimes it's like being a big brother," Steve said. "Sometimes it's leading by example. Sometime's it's the pretty speeches you don't want to give."

She nodded. "I've given some of those but since the battle in LA I've lost all hope of them looking up to me. They look up to Xander."

"Yet they still trash him," Stark said.

"That's not my fault."

"It's partially your fault and he goes out to do heroic things to prove you wrong," Natasha said, staring at her. "The girls need multiple role models to look up to."

"I try really hard. I try to do mom things and all that too. I don't know where I'm going wrong."

"There's no manual for being the guy in front," Clint said. "You wing it as it happens." He stared at her. "They still follow you into battle. They're your slayers."

"They don't look up to me and a few don't even like me. I showed up to help some with problems and they all wanted Xander. I can do just as good as Xander. I'm a slayer, that should count for something, right?"

"Not always," Clint said. "I've shown up a few times and they wanted other agents. I proved I could handle it but they still weren't happy. It's like expecting a card for your birthday and getting an email."

"Oh." She considered it. "So I just gotta keep trying?"

"Maybe if you got out to do things with the girls," Suzette said, chin on the back of her chair since she had turned around. "The girls at the house say you never spar with them, you never help them with homework. You help with date stuff but not the important stuff. And when you do spar they said you're nagging."

Buffy slumped, pouting. "I don't mean to. I want to be like my mom. She was a cool mom. She did good with me and Dawn, I should be able to do the same thing."

"You can be their friend or their mother figure," Natasha said. "The two don't mix very well. If you're their mother figure then helping with homework and dates is usual. If you're their friend then you'd want to hang out with them and do things with them. It will not change overnight but you can change it once you decide what you want to be to the younger slayers. Even if they do see you as mythical."

"They expect you to show up, beat the bad thing, then do something else," Steve said. "I've gotten that. I hung out with the guys instead and they were confused but said it was nice that guys like me were there for the normal stuff too. What we are sets us apart. It's never going to be pajama parties and sleepovers. But it can be closer if you want. Invite the girls to watch tv with you. Or to go to the movies with you and don't be the chaperone."

"I hadn't thought about that," she said. "Thank you." She hugged him then Natasha, patting Suzette on the head. "When you're a slayer, you'll do great things." She disappeared.

Suzette looked at her father. "How do I not do that?"

"You don't start down that path because you're a friend, not a leader," Clint said.

"Oh. I can do that I guess. Dad, can I have a sleepover?"

"If their parents agree." He looked at Stark.

"Your apartment has sound proofing," he said bluntly. "And I'll be hiding in the labs from all the kids."

"Ditto," Clint said. "One kid is cool. Twelve kids is a headache."

Natasha nodded. "I do not understand children so I cannot chaperone either." She dug back into her dinner.

Suzette looked at her other aunt, who smiled at her. "There's an art to having a great sleepover party. You have to have good food and good movies to watch, plus games to play and stuff. We can plan it together." Suzette beamed and nodded, getting back into her dinner. "How many friends do you have?"

"Maybe five? Larissa can't come. Her mommy doesn't let her sleep over anywhere. Even on a brownie camping trip."

"That's fine," Stark agreed. "Five girls can take over your dad's apartment and do stuff. I'm sure Pepper can teach you girls how to do nail stencils or something fun."

Pepper smiled and nodded. "I can, yes." Suzette leaned over to hug her then got back to her food. She smiled at Steve, who gave her a grateful look. That was girl stuff he'd never understand. She could teach it to Natasha too.

***

Stark woke up to the feeling of someone staring at him. He blinked at the person. "Wow, you were almost quiet, Thor," he said dryly.

"I did not wish to wake the good captain," he said more quietly than normal. "What is wrong with his daughter?"

Stark sat up, staring at him. "What, did you sense something about her?"

"Widow warned me not to get my hammer near her."

"Oh. Um... Wow. How... do you guys know what slayers are?"

"No."

"Hell. If I had that book, which is in Steve's room," he said. Andrew appeared, handing over a copy with a grin then punched Thor on the chin, not hard enough to move his head. "He hit on your girlfriend?"

"Future girlfriend." He grinned and waved. "You hit on my woman." He disappeared.

"Ah, sorcerers," Thor sighed, rubbing the barely sore spot. "Do we know of that one and is he like my brother?"

"Not exactly, which is an answer to both." He flipped through the book and held it up once he got to the right section. "This is what started the slayer line, back when your parents were barely thought of."

Thor took the book to read, frowning. "That's foul."

"Yes but it happened before humans could farm."

"Oh, no wonder then." He kept reading, sitting on the end of the bed. He stiffened. "This girl...."

"They're all now active thanks to a major event that needed *seven* to stop." Thor stared at him. Tony nodded. "JARVIS, can you get Steve up?"

"I have. He's getting something to drink while looking for something specific. He'll be here in a moment," the AI said.

Xander appeared, staring at Thor. "The hammer will activate her gifts," he said in Norse, staring down at him. "That will make her a huntress at the ripe age of seven." Thor shook his head quickly. "We know she'll activate early but none of us want it now."

"I will keep it from her," he said.

"Thank you." He grinned. "My ex, Anyanka, used to think you were the hot boy of the day." He looked at Stark then back at Thor. "Andrew's been flirting with Sif's future little sister." He handed something to the demigod. "The things that could activate her. One is your brother."

"I will keep them apart."

"Might be handy." He disappeared.

Thor looked that list over, nodding. "None of these I would want near a child in my care," he said. Steve walked in. "Steven, how is your daughter?"

"Sleeping. She had weird dreams earlier of people riding deer." He shook Thor's hand. "I see you got the book."

"Thor was flirting with Andrew's future woman," Stark said.

"Ah." He nodded. "That makes some sense. Sorry. The new Council isn't like the old guys were."

"I'd hope not."

"They treat the girls like sisters who have an unfortunate calling they help with," Steve said. "The girls are protected and helped now."

Thor nodded. "That's an excellent thing. How did that second one know the Bane of Men Who Do Wrong?"

"He nearly married her," Steve said with a smile. "He left her at the altar because she would've been sad in their marriage."

Thor shook his head. "He is a bravely stupid warrior."

"He's very brave, and a bit nuts," Stark said. "But he does back up all the slayers."

Thor nodded. "How many are there now?"

"All of them over a certain age have been activated," Steve said. "Those below sixteen will get it activated then. The First Evil apparently showed up and it took seven so the witch of the new Council activated the whole line to get the seven needed."

Thor scratched his eyebrow, frowning while he thought. "Your daughter?"

"We think she might activate early because of a threat to her," Steve admitted. "Though we had no idea she was going to come into being. Someone mixed her in a dish and made her."

Thor nodded. "That is foul but it is good you took her in."

"She's my little girl. Suzette is a kick and a half."

Thor smiled. "That is good. May I meet her?"

"In the morning when she's up. Just keep the hammer from her please," Steve said. Stark handed over that list. "That's good to know those mystical artifacts can activate her." He nodded, tucking it into his pocket. "If it happens to protect herself then we'll deal with it but we'd hate it to be because she was petting your hammer, Thor. She does like weapons."

Thor nodded. "I will keep Mjolnir from her." Both guys smiled at him for that. "Is she well?"

"She's just fine. She's going to be cranky tomorrow from the weird dreams but otherwise she'll be fine."

Suzette leaned around the door, staring at them. "I'm not cranky yet and I'm skipping tomorrow. It's not every day that you get visited by a huge blonde guy who can create lighting and fly." The adults stared at her. She huffed. "It'll let me miss my history test?"

Steve laughed. "No. You can get there late."

"Shoot." She walked in and stared at Thor, then smiled at his hammer. "I promise some day I'll be big enough and strong enough to be worthy of you but right now I know not to touch magical things. It'll make me a big slayer way too soon." She looked at him again. "Your hammer has happy thoughts. Does she like ice cream?"

"I don't believe she eats," Thor admitted, smiling at her. "It is nice to meet you, Suzette."

"You're kinda neat and big enough to be a tree like Daddy is, so I can climb you later." She hugged him and climbed up next to her Uncle Tony, cuddling him. "Dwarves should not tunnel under the city. I should tell Beth?" she told her uncle.

"Let's find them first."

"They're looking under the part of the city that's on the island that's not this one."

"Staten Island?" Steve guessed. She shrugged. "We'll look at pictures. What are they doing?"

"They're paying back an ancient debt by undermining the town."

"I'll start scanning that way," Stark said. "JARVIS?"

"I'm already starting that and I do see recent mining activity."

"You should tell Bethie," Suzette said, looking up. "So she can go talk to them since she's the senior slayer locally, JARVIS. Kate said she could use an excuse to get out of her history class too."

"I shall once it's light," the AI said. "I see deer too."

"They ride them. Are dwarves in my identification manual?"

"No," he said.

"I know of many," Thor said. "I can help them." She smiled and hugged his arm. "You should try to rest. Schooling is important."

She sighed. "But it makes no sense! And humans were poopy heads and mean to each other for stupid things."

"Yes they were," Steve agreed. "They still are. Learning history means you know how people have changed and what they're likely to redo later on."

"Can't I not have history? I can read books or even watch it on tv. The show on Vikings is really nasty too but others aren't as bad."

"And rated R," Tony said, staring at her. "Which you're not old enough to watch."

She shrugged. "I watched it over Uncle Clint's shoulder when he fell asleep on the couch the other night."

Steve smirked and pointed. "Grounded." She huffed but went back to her own bed. Then she came back with her pillow and favorite blanket, plus Pasha the stuffed squirrel, and climbed in with Tony to sleep. "You could come nap with me."

"Uncle Tony doesn't move all night and if I have weird ideas they'll just have a tea party with his weird ideas so maybe he'll get more normal ones. My weird ideas give you weird dreams and you don't sleep either, Dad." She snuggled in and cuddled her uncle with a grin. "This way the tea party of weird ideas gives you better dreams than JARVIS in a dress and apron kissing Dum-E."

"I don't think my weird ideas are normally like that," Tony said but he was smiling. "Until you fall asleep." She grinned and snuggled in. Tony got comfortable, looking at Steve. "She's nearly as good at logic as Pepper is."

"I've noticed that." He looked at Thor. "Who told you about her?"

"Widow."

"Ah. Well, she's getting used to having a kid around too." He shrugged. "They're getting along okay." He looked back at the sound of footsteps. "Clint, you were watching the show about vikings?"

"Yup, mostly for the smut potential," he sighed. "Sorry, did she see it?"

"Watched it over your shoulder. They were mean and assholes," Suzette told him with a grin. "It's still better than history class."

"It's a tv show," Tony said. "A made up version of history. Not real history."

"Shoot. Then I probably shouldn't answer a question about them on my test with it?"

"No," Steve said. "Did you?" She nodded with a huff. "We'll look at it tomorrow at breakfast before you go to school." She pouted. "Tough." He looked at Clint then at Thor again. "Want shown to your room, Thor?"

"I will talk with the young maiden warrior-to-be tomorrow to see if I can teach her anything," he agreed.

"Of course you can," she said with a smile. "I've barely learned anything yet." He patted her on the head and followed Clint to his suite. Steve picked her up with her stuff and took her back to his bed so Tony could rest.

Tony thumped his head on the pillow. "Sure, she likes vikings," he decided. Now his weird dreams and ideas would be warped even worse. The 'tea party' they were having was coming up with ideas for her future hunting needs. And dwarves.

***

Suzette bounced up to the almost-slayer Kate and pounced her. "Hi!" she said happily. It was a happy day, she had managed to skip school after all.

"Hi, munchkin." She pulled her around to hug. "What's up?"

"There's dwarves digging under the other island place because they had an ancient deal or something and it's making them cave it in against their wills."

Kate blinked. "There's what where?"

Clint walked up to her, handing over the note. "Dwarves. Thor said he'd help. He just got in last night."

"Ah." She read it over, then called Beth. "It's me. It's really weird too. But you have big, buff, and talented help." She hung up. "She's getting ready to go out with her boyfriend, who we think is going to make a *major* move today." Clint grinned, taking the kid from her. "You good?"

"I'm kid sitting because she watched Vikings over my shoulder while I napped on a couch."

"Ah," Kate said with a nod. She looked at the baby future slayer. "That's all sorts of icky adult stuff."

"So? I've got to learn it sometime. Might as well be now. And hey, my weird dreams didn't get warped by them."

"That's probably a great thing," Kate agreed, patting her on the back. She nodded at the blond man walking up behind Clint. "You must be Thor. Kate Bishop, I took over Hawkeye's name when he was out of contact for a bit." She held out a hand.

He smiled and shook it. "I have heard you did the name honor, Kate Bishop. When can we go look at these dwarves?"

"I can go and let Beth do things with her boyfriend. It gets me out of a lecture in history."

"See, history sucks," Suzette quipped to Clint with a grin.

He smirked down at her over the rim of his sunglasses. "If I had to learn history, you've gotta learn history."

"Shoot." She heard screaming and looked that way. "Ooooh, that's a bad thing." She hopped down and ran off. "I'm going back to the car."

"Better yet, run home," Kate said, pulling her bow. "Because the car's not safe, kiddo." She looked at the mass of robot and huffed. "That's not good."

"Nope, it's not," Clint agreed. Then some guy appeared fiddling with a remote control until it turned off.

"Yay, it's Andrew!" Suzette cheered. "He's my sorta geek! Yay, Andrew!" Andrew shot her a grin. "You're so cool. And you make yummy slayer recipes." She ran over to hug him. Clint caught her and Kate took her while Clint shot at the robot that was trying to restart itself. Thor flew up and smashed it. Suzette laughed. "He still out geeked it first." She got free and ran over to hug him then ran back to Clint. "I'm being good."

"I'm sure you are," he agreed with a wink. "We're looking at places to start our evil empire. What do you think of Montana, Clint?"

"I think it's pretty out there but there's nothing to do in a lot of spots and not a lot of women in those anyway. They get on you again?"

"Yes! Tried to prevent me from taking a vacation. *Ordered* me not to take one. This is my first one since we moved to Cleveland that didn't include a concussion and Buffy said even if I'm sick I wasn't allowed to go. Thankfully the future girlfriends are all *much* more sane than Buffy and Willow. I mean, honestly! How petty can they be!" He disappeared. "Clint likes Montana," he called as he left.

Suzette looked up at Clint, eyes wide. "Are you going to join his evil empire against women who nag?"

"I shouldn't have to. Natasha never nags me." She hugged him around the throat. "You're a good girl so you don't nag either."

Kate shook her head. "I'm not like that. I would've went on vacation with him. Maybe he could introduce me to nice guys." Thor came back shaking his head. "It gone, Thor? Can I do anything to help?"

"Nay, tis in pieces." He looked at the cuddly one. "You need to eat. You look tired."

"I am." She grinned. "And nibbly but I'm okay. I don't need a snack yet."

Kate snorted. "Please!" She waved a hand and took the kid from Clint. "C'mon, we'll introduce you to coffee drinks. All slayers like coffee drinks." Suzette grinned and bounced along beside her to Starbucks.

Clint's phone rang. "Stark said to keep it low sugar, she had pastry for breakfast," he called.

"Whatever," Kate called. She grinned. "I'm very well aware of slayer diets, Clint." She opened the door and ushered the little one in. They came out about five minutes later with flowing cups of stuff that resembled coffee milkshakes with whipped cream and a cherry on top. She handed one to Thor too. "Here, have a treat for the good work." She and the kid walked off talking about slayer stuff like clothes for patrol.

Thor sipped and nodded. "That is nice." He kept sipping, following Clint and the girls. It would give him enough energy to follow the young women around. His Jane Foster was not like that Kate Bishop or like Suzette. She was much more sedate and quiet. Though Kate did remind him some of Lady Darcy.

***

Someone stomped off the elevator and Stark watched the angry brunette woman stomp past him, waving slightly. "Thor," he called. She looked at him. "He's in his suite. He'll be right out, Dr. Foster."

"You know me?"

"Of course I know you," he said dryly, staring at her then smiling. "I'm Tony Stark. Why wouldn't I know of you and your work?"

"Oh. Okay." Thor came out and she hauled off and slapped him. She stared at him.

He rubbed his cheek. "That's the second one this week. I'm starting to think it's a Midgard tradition," he said.

"You could've called when you got back down here, Thor," she said, staring at him.

"I came to check on rumors Heimdall had heard," he admitted. "I was going to call you tonight to talk to you and see where you were. The last I knew you were in London but you may have moved by the time I could get there." He pulled her closer to hug. She sighed and leaned against him. "I did not mean to upset you."

"Don't do it again."

"I shall not. I heard one of my compatriots had a child, so I came to give felicitations on her finding." He smiled at her. "But found out why she is not allowed near my hammer."

Jane looked up then at Stark. "Congrats on having a kid, Mr. Stark. It hasn't hit the papers yet."

"Not mine. I'm a favorite uncle." He smiled and pointed at Steve, who was in the doorway to the kitchen. "His daughter."

"Awww. That's sweet."

"She is sometimes," Steve said. "I haven't met you yet. Steve Rogers."

"You're...Captain America," she realized. She wiped off her palm. "Dr. Jane Foster." She shook his hand. "I came to rant at my boyfriend for ignoring me again."

Steve smiled. "We were tracking down your number for him."

"Thank you for helping him."

Thor smiled at Steve for helping him with Jane. "His daughter is just now seven."

"That's a sweet age. I found the stars then," Jane said.

Suzette climbed up Thor's back and looked at her over his shoulder, smiling. "Stars are pretty and twinkly but swords twinkle prettier."

"Should you be climbing your uncle?" Steve asked.

"Umm...."

"The answer to those sort of questions is usually no, even though he's using a mom voice," Jane said, smiling at her. "Not that I haven't wanted to climb Thor a few times myself." Thor kissed her. She smiled at him. "Darcy's going to swat you too."

"I'm sure the Lady Darcy will forgive me for stopping to check on the good Captain's offspring first."

"Probably," she sighed. She looked at the staring kid. "Hi."

"Hi. This way I get to know what big people do before I learn to be like Uncle Tony."

"Hey!" Tony complained. "I'm a good role model in adult things."

"Go ahead and kiss him. I'll be practicing my braiding." She squeaked when her father pulled her off Thor's back and carried her off to talk to her in the kitchen.

"Sorry, we're working on manners," Steve called. "Let's talk, daughter." He shut the swinging door so they could have a quiet conversation about manners.

Jane looked at Thor, who shrugged and kissed her again. "She is a very inquisitive child. She's sweet that way."

"I'm sure she is but I have *no* idea how to handle little kids."

Thor smiled. "She doesn't much play with the adults." He led her to his suite so they could talk, and other adult things that they could make sure the child could not witness to learn about.

Tony looked toward the kitchen, shaking his head with a huge grin. He sent the security footage to Pepper. The kid was so being warped into his mini-me. Then he got to work setting up offers for Jane to join his wacky bunch of scientists so she'd be safer and out of harm's way.

***

Three days later, Tony Stark walked into the sprout's classroom, taking off his sunglasses. "Her father's in DC handling some big political brouhaha over the recent messes we've found." He looked at the pouting kid then at the teacher. "Will I do since I'm the only one of us home?"

"You may," Mrs. Toliver said, clasping her hands on the desk in front of her. "Have you noticed she's...excitable?"

"Yes. Though we've talked to the people who handle such matters and they say it's about normal for who and what she is." He sat down, looking at the pouty kid. "What did you do?"

"Climbed the jungle gym to get the kitty down." She looked over. "It was stuck and hiding from some of the bigger girls, who're idiots."

"You know their intelligence scores?" Tony asked dryly. "Because your father's going to scowl for you calling other kids names."

"No. I think they're idiots because none of them talk very well and they're bullies and they like to hurt animals. I'm using idiots instead of a less polite term that Daddy would complain about. Just like the ones you use when you talk about the science bimbo you accidentally hired last week." She grinned. "Though I doubt these ones can spell science."

"It's not fair to pick on the mentally deficient or weak," Tony said.

"I'm not and they started it by trying to hit the kitty with rocks." She shrugged. "I protected the kitty and Larissa took it from me to put outside the fence so it'd be safer while I climbed back down."

"We like that you protect animals," Tony said. "What else did you do?"

"I yelled at them for having bad ideas?" she asked the teacher.

"You did, and the proper course of action would be to tell a teacher. You had no idea if that animal was ill."

"Animals like me."

"Scared cats bite," she said firmly. "It could've had rabies or something."

"Or it could've been scared since some of the bigger girls were throwing rocks at it," Suzette said more firmly. "People who hurt animals for fun suck. I'm never going to be like that." She looked at Tony. "Is Dad still in DC?"

"Yup."

"Shoot."

"Probably until tomorrow but I'm taping this so he can hear and you two can talk when he's free."

She shrugged. "I guess." She climbed into his lap. "One of the teachers yelled at me for being able to climb the jungle gym."

"I think that's meant for climbing," he said.

"She said I'm too little."

"Bullshit. I've seen you shimmying up Barton's tower more than once to hide inside it to try to pounce your dad during playtime." She grinned. He looked at the teacher. "Is she in trouble for yelling at the girls?"

"She had detention for that, and will for the next three days," Mrs. Toliver said.

Suzette shrugged. "I did what was right. Screw them." Tony bopped her on the back of the head. "Sorry, that was rude and Dad would be ashamed," she sighed. "Even if Auntie Pepper would agree with me."

"Your Aunt Pepper nearly got kicked out of college for going after some boys who were torturing animals," Tony admitted. "She'd be really proud of you. You still have to know the rules and follow the ones that are just and right. Your dad would like that."

"I do," she said. "I resisted the urge to pick up a big stick and beat them for it," she said, giving him that old lady, prissy, mouth-clenched look.

He hugged her. "I'm sure you did and it was a good thing you didn't attack them."

"We're more worried that she has no sense and much too much energy."

Tony looked at her. "I'm sure you've been told by now why she meets with Xander Harris sometimes?" he asked.

"I have."

"This is normal for the girls. Pre-called and all of them. They have energy swings throughout the day. There's a good one right before three, and then an energy crash before dinner. There's another one right after lunch." He looked at her. "You forgot your lunch? JARVIS mentioned it."

"Ooops. I bought lunch instead." She shrugged. "It was pitiful. Like when Miss Jane cooked the pasta and overdid it." She grimaced. "They kept yelling at me about needing a fruit or a veggie and I pointed at a few things, including the veggies on the pasta that were overcooked and tasted like cardboard. They made me take an apple, and it was bruised. They need kitchen help, Uncle Tony."

"It meets guidelines and you were one of the last through the lines so there wasn't much food left," the teacher said impatiently.

Suzette looked at her. "Don't I usually eat veggies?"

"Yes you do."

"Then they shouldn't yell at me. They had no right to yell at me that way anyway." She stared at her. "Not like I don't know that veggies are good for me. I eat at least four a day plus fruit." The teacher huffed. "Beyond that, it's all nasty food. I feel really sorry for the kids who have to eat that." She looked at her uncle. "I won't forget my lunch again."

He hugged her. "When you cook for a lot of people, you can't make it as good as you can from the home kitchen. You'll find that problem in every single school, college, business that has a cafeteria, all of them. The military is the worst."

"Eww, but I can't go there. It's forbidden." She grinned at her teacher. "Anything else you wanted to talk about tonight, Mrs. Toliver?"

"She is becoming a tiny bit sarcastic," the teacher said.

"That means she's more comfortable in her life." The teacher scowled. "Even her dad isn't all puppies and rainbows," he said dryly. "Even the women in her life aren't all puppies and rainbows."

"Or kitties and popsicles because Auntie Pepper is more into kitties than puppies," Suzette quipped with a smile.

"She is," Tony agreed.

"Surely there's some *decent* role model who can encourage her father's manners lessons?" Mrs. Toliver demanded.

"Everyone wants me to have manners," Suzette said. "Manners doesn't mean you don't think for yourself, it means that you're polite when you have to stomp on someone bad for doing bad things." She looked at the doorway. "Mr. Phil."

"Suzette. Stark." He nodded and handed over the sealed envelope. "We found evidence of someone trying to hack your servers again. Your AI shut them down fairly quickly but they were trying from this school. I was going to tell you later, after we found them. Then I spotted your car when I pulled in."

"It was probably Lizabetta," Suzette said. "Everyone says she's really good in computer stuff and I kinda threw a fit at her earlier when I was rescuing the kitty."

Phil smiled. "Rescuing animals about to be harmed is an excellent thing," he praised. "I'm sure your father would be proud of that, even if you did yell at them afterward." She grinned and wiggled. He looked at Stark, who shook his head but handed it back. "We're requesting to handle it for you instead of the FBI."

"Go for it," Stark agreed. "There's three competent hackers here by what I've seen." Coulson nodded and went to look that up with the principal. He looked at the little girl. "Have you been bouncy in class?"

"No. I've been bouncy after class. I've been bouncy during recess so I can work those calories off." She shrugged. "Isn't that what recess is for?"

"Next year you won't be having recess," Mrs. Toliver said.

She looked at her. "Then how are we supposed to work off lunch?"

"You'll have a gym before lunch."

"Shouldn't you be working calories off that you've eaten instead of ones you haven't eaten yet? We wear out breakfast in our morning classes." Mrs. Toliver stared at her. "It makes no sense."

"That's how the schedule goes, dear. Each year has their gym time. That year's is before lunch. The year after is the last period of the day."

"That's going to suck," she said, looking at Tony, who shrugged. "Won't that suck?"

"You can learn to let it out during gym class instead of recess."

"Usually by then I'm starving."

"Starving is a medical condition," Tony said firmly. "You're hungry, not starving. Kids in Africa are starving, you see them on infomercials at two in the morning." She bit her lip but nodded. "Thank you. That's an important difference. We work to help those who are starving. Those who are hungry could probably pack a snack and have it before that gym time instead of yours when you get home."

"I hadn't thought about that." She looked at the teacher, who shook her head. "We can't?"

"No. You've got classes before then. You eat breakfast and lunch here, not snacks."

"We're growing though."

"Yes but you don't need that much food."

"She's lost ten pounds she couldn't afford to," Tony said. The teacher glared at him. "She has. She has a higher metabolism naturally." He looked at her. "We'll start tweaking your lunches so you're not left hungry by three-thirty." She nodded, leaning against his shoulder. He looked at the teacher again. "Any other problems I can pass on to her father?"

"She really does need to do something about that energy issue she has."

"It's normal for who and what I am," Suzette complained. "I can't help that I'm a future slayer. We *all* have this level of energy." The teacher huffed. "Sorry but we do. It leads to later stamina work and then for battles when we're big slayers." Tony nodded at that. "Beyond that, I'm never going to be like Nevaeh. She's on way too many pills and she's not able to think at all. I'm not doing that. Ever." She shrugged.

"Your father wouldn't agree to it either," Tony assured her, giving her a squeeze. "We can talk about that issue when he gets home. I can already assure you he won't be doing more than working on a different exercise group to help her wear some out. Maybe some pre-breakfast yoga or something." She looked at him and he shrugged back. "You could."

"That takes *forever* and I'll never get up for it."

"Possibly true." He shrugged again. "We'll talk about it when he gets home." She kissed him on the cheek. "Is there another problem we need to discuss?"

"I can discuss it with her father when he gets home."

"If they found another HYDRA base, he may only have time to run home for a night and then have to head out again, Mrs. Toliver. In the past, he's spent four and five months gone at a time on missions." Suzette shuddered. "She's the reason he's not at this time." He crossed his feet. "Frankly, the only reason I'm home is because I'm working on some last minute things for the conference next week. Otherwise she'd have either Pepper or an agent watching her."

"He should be looking at someone to give her some stability. Like a nanny."

"Doesn't really go with the way he was raised," Stark said dryly. "Nor do we want her to be a kid like I was brought up like."

"Whenever I get an agent to watch over me, it's always someone who's on the injured list," Suzette said. "That's a neat thing because they all teach me stuff. The last one taught me how to sharpen smaller knives than my sword." She looked at Tony. "Is it okay to name your swords?"

"No. You should not name weapons. They're not pets," he said.

"You named your suits."

"I gave them a design designation," he corrected. "It's not a name like I gave Dum-E or the other robots. They're numbed as I make a new design change."

"It still sounds the same."

"It's really not. I'm not naming each suit, I'm naming each design the first, second, third, all that, and the suits are just done off the designs."

"Oh. So the suits are just the afterthought?"

"Kind of. Only special and mystical weapons get names."

"Like Mr. Pointy," she said with a smile. Her teacher choked a tiny bit. "It's a very special stake that one of the former slayers carved. Kendra carved that as she grew up and she gave it to Miss Buffy before she died. It's kept in a special case and we all honor it because Kendra was a good slayer." She looked at Tony again. He smirked at her. "Does Uncle Xander's axe have a name?"

"No clue. You can ask him during summer camp." She wiggled and grinned. He looked at the teacher again. "Any other notes you need me to make to her father."

"No. I'll see him when he gets back."

"I'll tell him you'd like to." He stood up, putting her on her feet. "Grab everything and let's go." He nodded outside. "Happy's waiting." She grabbed her bags and jacket and followed him out to the car. Happy accepted his hug from Suzette before letting Tony and her into the back of the car. "Let's get back to the office so I can email your dad this report. That way he knows what she's going to try to complain about."

"I think I'm perfectly normal," she said.

"You are. For being who and what you are, you're very normal," he agreed. "Even if you needed the medicine, it probably wouldn't work on you anyway." She hugged his arm. "I like you too, sprout." She laughed. "We'll call your dad before bedtime."

"Okay. Thank you." She smiled up at him. He grinned back. She hummed along with the song on the radio and it was good. She liked this.

When they got back, Tony had to stare at the nagging thing aimed at Jane Foster and Thor. "I can amend the offer to include nagging, mothering sorts," Stark quipped.

"This is Darcy Lewis, my intern," Jane said. "Darcy, Tony Stark and Suzette Rogers."

"Hi." She smiled. "I nag because otherwise Jane would fade away since she can't live on science." She looked at the kid. "I have no idea how to talk to kids."

"You're doing okay right now," she quipped with a grin, shaking her hand. "You're okay. I'm not a mean kid." She bounded off. "Can I have a snack, Uncle Tony?"

"Have Jane make up a big batch of smoothies for everyone," he said. "Pepper said I need more fruit too."

"Cool!" She ran into the kitchen, dragging Jane by the back of her shirt. "Come help, Auntie Jane."

"I can do that," Darcy said, heading in there. "The blender's a bit too complicated for Jane. She leaves the lid off and things go everywhere."

"Once!" Jane defended.

"And it was the sacred margaritas, Jane," Darcy shot back. "Therefore you only use a blender in the lab." She found the recipe on the fridge and pulled out what they'd need for four of them. Jane could use more fruit in her diet too. She and the kid did the cutting and she let the kid press the button, which made her cackle in destruction glee. "You're a pretty neat kid."

"Yes, I am." She grinned.

"And clearly warped by Stark."

"Well, he is a good uncle." She shrugged and let the blending end, then poured in the ice to blend some more. That got done quickly and they poured them into glasses. She took the bigger one as she bounded off. "I'm going to go climb."

"Sure. Yell if you get stuck or fall," Tony called after her. "Don't spill stuff on Barton's climbing gear, he'll yell."

"I won't." She disappeared into the elevator.

Jane looked at the glass she was handed. "What's this? It's blue."

"It has blueberries," Darcy said. "It's good. Drink it since you probably forgot lunch and breakfast." She handed the other to Stark. Who smiled and sipped it. Jane huffed but sipped and nodded, walking off drinking. Darcy smiled at Stark. "Sorry to invade but Jane needs help."

"Many scientists do," he said dryly, smirking at her. "I don't care, Lewis. Though you might get asked to watch over the sprout sometimes too."

"Sure, I can do that. I have no idea about kids but at the very least I can help with homework and social studies stuff."

"She hates history."

"So did I, that's why I'm a poli sci major." She grinned and followed. "Let me shadow Jane to make sure she's okay."

"She's probably climbing Thor again," Tony said. "She and Suzette both think he's fun to climb."

"Ah." Darcy sat down, shaking her head. "I don't need to interrupt that." Tony called up the footage of when Jane met Suzette, making her laugh. "Not like those two are so normal." She sipped her smoothie and relaxed until Natasha and the kid came back up. She was finishing her smoothie. "Too much?"

"No, she had me doing yoga with her instead so I didn't get to drink while I climbed."

"Her teacher thinks she has extreme amounts of energy and no sense," Tony said, looking at Natasha.

"I believe that's most children from what I've read." She looked at her. "What happened?" She sat down and let the girl tell them. Suzette could babble at high speeds about some things and she did about the idiot girls as she called them. And the kitty. Then she slowed down about the lack of recess because she was complaining it was no fair. She blinked at her. "I think you've had too much sugar today," she said at the end.

"I ate lunch at school. It was gross. And they *yelled* at me about taking a fruit or a veggie when I had veggies on my pasta already! They're not really smart and they can't cook and it's nasty food. I think we should help them do it better."

"Sometimes industrial strength cooking makes things gross," Darcy said. "College food is like that too."

"So is Auntie Jane's pasta," Suzette quipped.

Darcy smiled and nodded. "Yes, it is." She hugged the girl. "You did great getting the kitty, but stray kitties could be sick so you have to be careful. You don't want the huge needles in your belly if it had rabies."

"We've petted it before. It sneaks onto the playground sometimes."

"That's great, but in the future, always ask about stray pets or any you don't know. They might be mean and bite, then their owners would get to be sad when the pound takes them away."

"I can do that," she agreed.

"Good. And good job for not hitting those idiot girls who deserved to be beaten." She smiled.

"That was good to resist that urge," Natasha said. "I would not have resisted as much as you did." The girl bounded over to hug her. "As for the energy swings you have, we can work something out with the school so perhaps you and Larissa are allowed out to go stretch or something as a break before lunch."

"The teacher's highly against that," Tony said. "But we'll see what we can do." She snuggled into his lap and finished her smoothie, falling asleep after a few minutes. "I think the yoga wore you out."

"Yes, it did," Natasha said with a smile. "It's also good for her."

Kate Bishop came off the elevator with the local slayer. "Can you thank the big blond guy for taking over slayer duty since the seer we know said Beth would've died if she had went to talk to the dwarves?" Kate asked.

"I can do that," Stark agreed. "Natasha, this is Kate Bishop and the local senior slayer Beth."

"Ladies," she said with a nod. "We know seers?"

"Yeah but she's got an iffy gift. It only activates when she touches something. Unlike Xander, who sees huge battle things before they happen."

"That's an interesting yet problematic gift," Natasha said.

"Painful too. Migraines and brain ripping feelings," Kate sighed. She tipped her head to look at the kid. "We were going to go over crossbows today," she said with a slight pout.

"Stay. She'll be up in twenty minutes," Stark said with a wave. "This is Darcy Lewis, she's Jane Foster's assistant."

"Hi." She shook their hands. "I met the secondary slayer in London but she was uptight."

"Gwen or Ricanda? Though, yes, they are." She smiled. "They're fighting over who's really doing all the work again."

"The guy with the eyepatch," Darcy said.

"That's Xander. Yes, he does," Kate agreed, smiling at her. "He's supposed to be on vacation."

"He's starting an evil empire against women who nag," Stark said. "Including no women allowed and gay sex for everyone who joins. He's looking at compounds in Montana during his vacation."

"If I had Buffy and Willow around me all the time, I'd run too," Beth said simply. "And take Andrew." Stark nodded with a grin. "Good! And the fact they're putting out anti-magic stuff from Xander's corporation, that Andrew owns a lot of stock in." Stark sat up straighter, looking at her. "The 'is your girlfriend a witch, we can help protect you' line is great. I've used some of it on patrol."

Kate nodded. "The two witches in my school hate it and me but it's kept me from becoming a centaur recently." She looked at Beth. "The bulletin board said Xander asked Andrew to please draw the guys from SGA to be the new warriors so he could get away from the nagging. They both agreed they could hide behind Sheppard."

"I'd hide behind him too but only so I could get a handful of cheek," Beth quipped. "But my fiancé is really cute." She smiled. "If Andrew does pull them, that's great. Hopefully it'll be before a battle and they'll listen to Xander this time. The last time we got warriors they discounted Xander totally and he still proved them and the slayers wrong."

Stark sighed and shook his head. "He really needs to be around more supportive people." The girls nodded with a smile for him. "Maybe he should take over a house."

"He can't. He's the only one that can get to the minis in the wilds of the world," Beth said dryly. "Two other new watchers could but the girls hate them because they're military."

"It's a sad but good paranoid bit thanks to a few raids they had once," Kate agreed. "Beth camped in my closet for three days." Beth nodded at that.

"Wow, won't happen here," Stark said with a smile. "Fall back to here, girls." They nodded and hugged him. Suzette woke up and hugged them back and they took her to teach her about crossbows.

"Poor kid," Darcy said. "Having to put up with Buffy and Willow too." Stark burst out laughing, shaking his head. "I was study buddies with a slayer who didn't want to patrol. Her boyfriend hated it enough to try to drug it out of her. I was righteously good when they dropped that assault charge against me for beating the shit out of him." Stark smiled. "She is?" Stark nodded. "Then yeah, the energy's usual. Even that one had a lot of energy. She took a PE every semester." She shrugged. "Can I help with stuff around here beyond nagging Jane?"

"Sure," Stark agreed. "We don't do much of anything that needs the nagging."

Darcy stared at him for a minute. "I'm guessing you're like Jane in that science takes over and you don't come out of your lab for days."

"Yes, he does," Natasha said, glaring at Stark. "He lives on shakes to help with the palladium poisoning."

"I eat!" Stark complained.

"You drink coffee, it's not the same," Natasha said. She looked at Darcy. "I was going to teach Suzette how to fry meat tonight if you'd like to help."

"I can do that. I'm used to fixing food to compete with science." She smiled at Stark. He got up and walked off shaking his head but he looked pleased. They could conspire on that together, and with Clint when he got back.

***

Darcy walked into Stark's lab with dinner, putting the plate in front of him. He frowned at it then at her until she used the fork to pick up a piece and stuffed it in his mouth. "It's time for food. That stuff that makes you run so you can be the bitch for science." She handed him the fork and smiled as she walked off. "I put a cup of coffee down over here but the AI has a forcefield around it until you clean your plate. He assured me you like all that."

"Way to mom," he called after her. But he was hungry. He ate, shaking his head. When it was gone he got his coffee and went back to working on a new design. His music came back on too. "Thanks, Mommy JARVIS."

"You're welcome, sir," the AI said, sounding a bit smug. Tony glared up. "If you had answered the ten calls I had to get you to the table, there was strawberry shortcake for dessert but I'm afraid it's all gone by now."

"Whatever," he mumbled, getting back to work. He got a few hours until he felt something climbing up his back. "Your dad said to quit climbing us." No answer so he looked then yelped and yanked the shirt off as he reached for a gun. The rat died. "JARVIS, how many more of those are there?"

"It's New York, sir. They're all over the island. Scanning the building shows three not in cages for experiments and I believe that one had been in a cage at one time."

"Call her and tell her that her rats escaped."

"I have, she's on her way back to try to find the other two rats, sir."

"Thank you." He calmed himself and walked off to get coffee, and a clean shirt that didn't have rat brains all over it. He ran into Clint in the kitchen making coffee. "Someone's rats got free."

"Great," he muttered. "I'll check the kid's room with Natasha. One of us should be quiet enough."

"They're both on level 13," JARVIS noted.

"Tell us if they get up here," Clint said. "Thanks to a few jobs, we hate rats, J."

"I can and will do so."

Clint walked off drinking his coffee. "Nat, two rats escaped custody and they're on level 13."

She shuddered. "If I see them she will have to start over."

"I'm pretty sure Stark already got one." She looked at him and he nodded. "JARVIS will tell us if they get up here."

"Thank you, JARVIS. After being in a pit of them once, I do not like them very much."

"I probably wouldn't either," the AI agreed. "One's trying to free his cousins in lab 1, but the other is feasting on the insulation down there." Stark went to get a weapon to kill that one before it did real damage.

***

Steve sat down in the visitor's chair beside the hospital bed, smiling at the older woman on it. "How's my best girl?" he asked.

"You look tired," she said back, smiling and reaching over to pat his cheek.

"I'm between missions but on my way home for three days of rest." He leaned on the railings. "I haven't gotten to visit in a while and I'm sorry."

"It happens. Missions go as they go, Steve."

"There's been other things."

"A date, finally?" she asked with a smile.

"No. Um..." He looked at the door to make sure the nurses weren't listening then looked at her. "HYDRA or someone had a breeding lab," he said. She blinked. "Someone at the new Watchers Council found my daughter in one." She snorted. "They are a lot different."

"I've seen that. They never would let those of us with sense and compassion destroy the old ones but we certainly cheered when their own folly blew them up."

"Xander, the guy with the eyepatch, he found Suzette."

"How old is she?"

"Just now seven. We finally found a birthday on her a few months back." He pulled a picture out of his back pocket and stuck it into the corner of the frame next to her. It had his picture in it. He grinned. "She's a little spitfire, Peggy. Mouthy as anything at times but she'll tone it down around me."

She looked at him. "Did they find her for a reason?"

"They found she had a reason but it was natural, not coerced, and they found other kids. They didn't specifically go looking for her."

"Ah. So they found her and handed her over." Steve nodded. "Now they watch over her?"

"Sometimes. They hover a bit because they think something around me will activate her sooner. It's a lot different than the way it had been."

"I've seen. I'm happier for the girls, even if that is a dreadful future to face." She patted his hand. "How are you handling little girl things?"

"Not totally well but I've got Pepper and the others to help. Natasha and she have just barely started to get along but she treats Clint like a big brother and Stark like a favorite uncle. Bruce is good to her too. Thankfully I've got plenty of help with her or else I'd be nuts by now." She smiled. "She's mostly a good girl. A bit bouncy but a good girl."

"That's sweet. I'd love to see her."

"I can have her sent over," he offered. "Come back tonight?"

She smiled. "I'd adore that, Steve. The children are so important. Hopefully they'll learn from our mistakes too."

"I can only hope she will. I do wish she could've had a friend like Bucky was to me. Though I think she'd be Bucky in that set since she's highly protective."

"She's the best of you."

"She really is." He called Tony. "It's me. Send me Suzette for a visit with Peggy please?" He nodded. "That'll work. Thank you. No, don't ask Sitwell, how did he get out of jail?" He smiled. "Even better. That's great, Tony, thanks." He hung up. "She's on her way here already because some of the agents we found were loyal to HYDRA showed up at the tower to talk to her. One admitted she was their next great achievement and her other parent was their first."

She grimaced. "They're all fruitcakes."

"I know. She'll be here in about an hour. Tony got her out of school when he noticed people trying to show up for that visit." She patted his hand again. "Need anything while I'm here? I learned how to braid hair." She laughed and sat up to hug him. When Suzette got there with the agent escorting her, he waved her in. "Thanks, Paulis."

"Welcome, Captain. She's a good girl." He waited outside the door.

Suzette stared for a minute then walked over to stare at the older woman. "I know you're not my grandmother but I don't know you yet. I'm Suzette." She held out a hand. Tony had taught her if she wanted something, to ask and be bold about it.

"I'm Peggy, my dear. I knew Steve when he was in the army." She shook her hand. "Come sit and talk with us." She hopped up onto the bed and settled in to talk to this older lady who knew her dad when he was younger. It was kinda cool and she needed a grandma-like person. She asked her about doing grandma-like stuff and Peggy was delighted she'd get to teach her things too, including how to break codes.

***

Steve looked out the window of the cab and mentally berated himself for not accepting Tony's ride from the airport. "Crap," he muttered. Suzette leaned up to look. "Reporters on the building. Can you pull into the parking garage so we don't have to deal with them please?" he asked the cab driver, who shrugged but swung that way. Steve waved at the guard and they got let in. He paid him a good tip and got them out and up the inside elevator. They came off in the living room area. Suzette hurried to pee while he looked at the others. "Why are the reporters here?"

"We had three arrest sweeps by officers over the HYDRA agents," Stark said dryly. Suzette came back and pounced him for a hug. "Hey, sprout."

She grinned at him. "Were they mean?"

"Yup, they were, and they wanted to talk to you."

"Am I their goddess they pray to now?" she asked dryly.

"Apparently."

"Tell them to talk to Uncle Xander." She smirked at him. "That should fix that."

"We didn't want to make him do extra work so we let Maria Hill handle it," Stark said, passing her to Clint. He got up to get coffee. "How was your visit?"

"Miss Peggy's really neat and she agreed she could be like a grandma to me and teach me neat stuff. She's a really sweet lady but she can give Daddy this look that makes him shut up instantly."

"Pepper has one of those too," Stark quipped. "Most strong women do." He came back and sat down but she was cuddling Clint and playing with his hair. "He needs a trim."

"We all do," she sighed. "Why are the reporters staring out there? Do they expect more bad people?" Stark nodded. "Should we tell them they're all gone so they go away?"

"We will if they get annoying," Stark said. "Did they see you?"

"We came in through the garage," Steve said, sitting down. "How do we handle this?"

A video popped up on the tv. It was Darcy Lewis jogging up the street toward the building. The guys all smiled at that picture but then she ducked into the doorway of the building. Reporters were shouting.

"Get out of the way," Darcy called. "Before it smooshes you flat." Then a large rolling ball of Thor fighting something came up the street and did indeed smash some of the news vans, making it roll away from the people. Finally the demon died and Thor stood up with a huff, dusting himself off. "Great work, Thor. Jane's in the park waiting on you." Thor smiled and flew off with his hammer.

"Who're you?" one of the reporters shouted.

"I'm an assistant in a science lab, guys. I know nothing." She slid inside the doors and headed for the elevator. She came off the elevator. "Phew. I thought for sure I was going to be smashed flat by the ball of Thor and that demonic kitty."

"Pergals are cute and cuddly most of the time," Suzette told her. "Did Thor mess with her nest or something?"

"They were having a dominance fight to see who got to be a baby daddy," Darcy told her. "He broke it up because it hurt one of the baby kitties."

"Aww. That was nice of Uncle Thor." She got off Clint and came over to hug Darcy, getting cuddled back. "Are you okay? The tv showed you running like your foot hurt."

"It's the shoes. They're not practical for running."

"Oh." She nodded and cuddled her better. "Do you do yoga stuff like Miss Natasha does?"

"Not a bit," she admitted with a smile. "I'm not good at that super stretchy stuff she and other heros do. I'm a normal girl, I don't do hero things."

"Uncle Xander says everyone tells him he's normal but he does hero stuff."

"That's because he's good at it. I'm good at nagging Jane about stuff. That's my job. Not to do the hero stuff. I can nag heros to eat but I can't do hero stuff."

"That's cool. We all need people who help us take care of ourselves and teach us stuff. You should talk to Uncle Xander anyway, that way he knows that not all girls are mean and nag him like Miss Buffy and Miss Willow do."

"I'd gladly meet him. He seems like a neat guy." Something soft touched her throat and she nearly jumped out of the chair to look at who was behind her. "Asshole!" She hit him on the arm until Clint walked off laughing. She put the kid down and pounced him to beat him. She wasn't doing a very good job but Suzette jumped in to help.

Stark watched for a minute then looked at Steve. "Did you talk about the teacher?"

"I have and I called her. She said they used to be more project based but now the curriculum has changed so they've got more worksheets and testing." He grimaced. "She said the only school that's more project based is now a school for those trying to avoid going back to jail." Stark sighed but nodded. "Even among the more expensive prep schools."

"I'll ask Pepper to have her assistants check, Steve." He nodded. "If not, there's the school the children of SHIELD agents go to. It's a bit farther away."

"We can move back to Brooklyn most of the time if we have to," he said quietly.

"It's by the base," Natasha said, walking over the rolling and play-fighting people. "Suzette, be careful of his hands."

"I am."

"Thank you." She looked at Steve. "The school is in Queens. It's about a half-hour commute from here. Or from your off-duty apartment. I'll have Hill send you information on it." She went into the kitchen. "Barton, did you eat the last of the pie?" she demanded.

"Pie? There was pie?" Suzette asked, head popping up. She scowled down at Clint. "You ate the last of the pie and didn't even save me a piece?"

"Pepper ate the last of the pie and Darcy made it so she can teach you how to make 'em since she does it so well," Clint said to save himself another beating. Natasha hit harder than these two did. Xander appeared standing over his head in a sarong with a flower wreathe and walked off. "I did not need to see that, Harris," he called. "I'm not into guys that way."

"Sorry, I didn't pick my landing spot," he said. "Be thankful Andrew managed to keep it from being on your head." He looked in the kitchen. "Beauteous one, did you know someone named Natalie Arambla?"

"Vaguely and I am still going to shoot her."

"Too late. She decided I'd make a *splendid* husband." He grinned at her. "She wanted you to know that, yelled it as the guys in Hawaii hauled her off by her hair. And I don't mean the hair on her head. Thankfully they did untie me from the sacrificial cross she had set up so she could marry me, have me, then sacrifice me to a sea monster she was trying to appease so it'd quit eating her family." He sighed. "I'm never going to hear the end of this and her minions all really liked Andrew. At least he got some fun with them." He disappeared.

"Wow, Uncle Xander plays bimbo like the one in the book my teacher's reading over her lunch time," Suzette said. She hugged Darcy, giving her a hopeful look. "You can make pies?" she asked, sounding almost like she'd be worshiping her.

"No dessert tonight," Steve ordered. "You had cookies in the airport." He looked at them. "Tomorrow she can show you how to pick good fruit to put into pies and stuff then you two can bake on Saturday. I've tried, Darcy, but she keeps getting fuzzy strawberries."

"I can do that," she said with a grin for the kid.

Suzette squealed and hugged her. Clint groaned. "Oops, did I kick you in the boy ouchie spot again?" she asked, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm sorry if I did, Uncle Clint."

"No, you didn't. Just realizing I'm not the one being cuddled." They both hugged him and got off him to go figure out what sort of pie they were making. Darcy knew about all sorts of baking stuff. Clint stood up, seeing Tony smirking. "Hey, I got to be the table for the two cute things to cuddle on. Better cuddles than you get from Pepper," he quipped as he walked off.

"Keep it up, watch me adjust the timing on your explosive arrows," Tony shot back with an evil smirk.

"Don't do that, Uncle Tony," Suzette sighed. "Then I'd have to fuss over his injuries. Beth told Larissa that fussing is a natural part of us and we're all fantastic at it. I did good over your last booboos, didn't I?"

"You did, sweetheart. You're a great fusser at injuries. I'd have to lock him in his room with Natasha so she'd fuss over his injuries for him." She looked out of the kitchen at him. "I would."

"The only known person who could keep Barton in a bed when he's injured is Coulson and he had to use straps," Natasha said in French, which made Stark laugh. "I'm mean enough to let him suffer with you, as I'd be helping you be in the next bed if you did so. I'm making stew for dinner," she announced. "If anyone does not like it, tough."

"Ooooh," Suzette said, hurrying in there and pulling Darcy with her. "Teach me?"

"Of course. Pull over the stool so you can help me. Darcy, can you make a salad to go with it?"

"Of course I can." She got to work on that.

"Can it be a Wendy's salad with fruit and stuff?" Suzette asked.

"If it'll go with pork stew," Darcy said, looking at Natasha. She shrugged so she added berries and a different dressing. That'd be good and she could haul Jane off Thor's abs later. "Remember Thor's here." Natasha tripled her recipe. Just in case.

***

Monday Suzette came home from school and sighed, staring at her father. Who grinned back. "What is show and tell and why is it so darn important?"

"It's to show something that's important to you so the other kids get to know you better. Though some will use it to brag."

"What am I supposed to show? How to do my newest kata?"

"You could show a skill or you could show them Pasha."

"The teacher said no weapons, no dolls, no stuffed friends, and nothing cutesy."

"That's kinda strict," he agreed. "What about bringing in something you made with Darcy?"

"Dad, both the pie and the cake are gone," she said dryly. "Uncle Clint hoovered down the last of it last night."

He considered it. They probably didn't have anything to make another one with tonight and Darcy had said something about having a date. "You could show off the robot you built off that kit Tony got you." She beamed and went to find it on her shelves. "While you're in there, clean up your room, young lady. I tried to vacuum earlier and couldn't."

"Yes, Dad," she sighed. She heard his phone ring that special ringtone and ran out to hug him. He cuddled her back then went to be picked up with Natasha from the roof. She went back to pick up her room and find that robot. Life went on and she had to handle it. Her dad would be fine.

***

A few days later, Andrew was watching the news. "Hey, Xander?" he called. "Since when was our sixth grade english teacher some sort of superior soldier?"


TBC...