Congrats, We All Have Blood.







Bucky helped Sam back across the portal to the main house, making the girls coo. "Guys, leave Sam alone. Sam's a nice guy and he talks to me when I need common sense." They pouted but left Sam alone. "Thanks, ladies." He lets Sam out and came back to get regular tea from Andrew. "Xander had starbucks," he said in greeting. Andrew pointed at the hot water already on and let him fix what he wanted. "Anything huge going on?"

"The wedding went off really well. Everything was great. Franklin's fully healed and they managed to avoid the car accident on the way to the reception too." Bucky grinned. "Everything's good until our next apocalypse battle, pending no one else having an accident or anything bad happening." He looked at the calendar on the door of the refrigerator then at Bucky again. "Are you okay?"

"I'm decent enough," he said. "Any idea where Xander is?"

"Fighting the dream demon in the armory again." He pointed. Bucky went to wake him up and help him with that. "It's not like a protection won't help."

"Do we have one?"

"Yeah. I can make him one. For a fee." Xander leaned out to look at him. "I want your comic subs."

"Go for it. I haven't even gotten a chance to look at them recently, 'Drew." Andrew squealed and pulled out the protection he had made to toss at him. Xander put it on and got help standing up. "Have a good read." They went back to the house and Xander collapsed.

Bucky stared at him. "Where's the folder on those kids?"

He pointed at his bedroom. "Safe in the dresser." Bucky went that way. "There's a lot of not definitive stuff."

"I figured there was. Or else no one would be looking." He cracked the safe and brought the files out to read through. He had seen them before but he had still been in shock then. Now he could study them. It was weird but he didn't know which Soldier they meant. He found the mention of a 'hunter' and figured that had to be related to Xander. He thought he remembered something about one of the entries and went to his own computer's files to look it up. He brought it out to show him. "The Initiative gave them your DNA." He went back to reading.

"I figured it had to be them or somehow they had bought a used condom off Anya. I know she tried to sell Buffy and Willow's used tampons for blood magic rites until Giles stopped her." Bucky grimaced, looking up at him. "It's one of those important components."

"Can I have yours tested?" He didn't look up. He knew Xander was touchy about that. It had shown when Xander had preemptively ended a bio-dealer they had found looking at ebola survivors.

"No. Someone will find out and you'd have to rescue me since you started it off."

"Never mind then. I'll wait until you have a decent boyfriend or girlfriend to test it so they can rescue you." Xander snorted but let him go back to reading. "Can you do the checking bauble spell like the ones on the slayer tree?"

"No. That takes hair or something of theirs."

"Damn."

"Slight addendum," Xander said. Bucky stared at him over the files. "There's a fairly old prophecy that for each son the Hunter of the Dark bears, and then dies, there'll be an apocalypse battle for a slayer to handle."

"He died probably ... during the huge one in DC," he realized. Xander nodded. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault. That's one of the things I'm worried about. That and who the other parents are and if we need to rescue them or more kids. I still want to rescue the other two boys. I'm pretty sure one's Suzette's direct brother from what we've learned."

"I think one's mine."

"I'm not sure they're both not yours."

"I'm a guy. Not possible."

"With magic it is," Xander said.

"They don't use magic. They use tech."

"They wanted Loki's spear, yes they do, and it's possible to switch DNA. All they'd need is some sperm to switch into an egg."

Bucky frowned. "We can do that now?"

"Yeah. I saw it on the Discovery channel once in Germany on an overnight going to Avena's problem."

"So.... How would we know?"

"Unless you want to test yourself against Suzette I wasn't going to bring it up until we know for certain. That's hugely bigger than a pregnancy scare."

Bucky nodded. "I'd still like to know."

"How many others did they do this to?"

"Good point. Can we test?"

"We have her DNA on file because we had to do a paternity test to find Steve."

"She's mine and Steve's," he said, smiling some. "Okay." Xander shrugged. "Yeah, I want to test that. Just in case." He got up and went to talk to Andrew. He did tech things for the slayers. He'd know who to talk to. They had the doctors there pull the blood and sent it to the lab to match against the registered DNA profile of the slayer in question. Then he came back to read some more. If so, then yeah, he wanted those kids freed. Tomorrow if possible. If they could only find that special school. It wasn't even twinging his memories.

***

Bucky found Steve at the Smithsonian exhibit, staring up at his picture. It still made his fists clench and him growl a bit but he could handle that. Even though he wanted to smash it so no little kids looked up to him as a hero. He wasn't a hero. Steve stared at him, mouth slightly open. He nodded. Steve followed him. "Hey," he said once they were outside.

"You're better?"

"Somewhat." He looked at him as they walked toward where Xander was. "We found some stuff with that lab."

"They used yours with one of the kids," Steve realized. "We're still looking for them. Aren't we, Xander?"

"Yeah, we sure are looking for Suzette's big brother." He handed over the unsealed envelope. "Now we know which Soldier they were talking about."

Steve frowned but looked at the DNA profile. "What does that mean?"

"That means they did a nucleus switch," Bucky said. "I have no idea what that means."

"That means they sucked the DNA out of an egg or sperm cell and implanted the DNA they wanted," Xander said. "Possibly on both sides since we think they only had tissues samples of Steve." Steve stared at him. "I've suspected for the last little while but we've heard they still had at least one other person. We heard a week ago that one was also male and had failed so he's still in cryo storage until they were ready to tinker with him some more." Steve sat down and Bucky made sure he sat on the bench. "So Bucky volunteered some blood when we figured that out. We had it tested in the same lab against her DNA profile for paternity." Steve swallowed. Xander handed over his coffee. "It's got sugar."

"I..." Steve gulped it, keeping down the ranting he wanted to do. "How long have you suspected?"

"About the last six months. Suzette's starting to look like him around the face. Especially her eyes. Seeing them within minutes of each other clicked it into my mind."

Steve stared at him then at Bucky, who shrugged. "I thought I might be because of what the files weren't saying. All they said was a Soldier of the project. That was me and the one they wanted to tinker with more." He kept in a shudder. Xander patted him on the arm. "Thanks."

"I'm horrified by the little we've heard on him." Steve glared at him. "He's got three tentacles, one in place of a hand. That same arm has implanted weapons. They left his skull open for more tinkering when they put him back under because he wouldn't integrate very well any longer." Steve moaned. "I'm horrified and I'm not sure if we want to even try to unthaw him." Bucky did shudder and pulled his jacket around him. "Different group than had you, Bucky."

"Good to know. Mine weren't that bad." He looked at Steve. "I don't know what to do here. I'd like to eventually end up an uncle but I... I still feel like I'll dirty her if I get too close."

"I've had that feeling. She's not that pure," Steve said. "They started to train her."

"I saw the files," he admitted. "Xander showed me when that popped up." He leaned his elbows on his knees and looked at his former best friend. "I'm not ready to be there all the time."

"She'd understand. She wonders but not a lot yet." Bucky nodded. "This is not the meeting I was expecting when Xander called to come here today."

Bucky smiled a tiny bit. "I'm going to make you dirty too."

"Bucky, I went through that war and an alien invasion within a few weeks in my personal timeline, and that was after losing you. What makes you think I'm not already muddy?" Xander got up and left them to talk. "Really. I want to help you heal. I want to be there for you and even if you're all dark and gloomy, we can handle that. Even if you're still wanting to kill people. I get that sometimes, usually about Stark."

Bucky relaxed. "I get that."

Steve smiled. "You talk to Sam."

"I talk to Sam about every month. Xander had him kidnaped to come talk to me."

"I was wondering where he was and why he called off work. He's an alternate to take her if something happens to me."

"Good! He's a good man." He slid down to sit on the bench instead of on the back of it. "I'm not sure what I want to do yet but that whole Avengers thing is way too much for me to handle."

"I have an off-site apartment in Brooklyn. We can both move there and visit the tower on the weekends so she can hang out with her mentors."

Bucky shook his head. "It's not safe yet. You need to be there with her to keep her safe. I need space and I need weapons and I need to end these people and find that son of ours and the other one, and that other guy they tinkered on, and maybe the bodies they've buried." He sighed, looking at his metal hand then at Steve again. "I want to be there but I'm not ready yet."

"I think that's a great decision and at least now we can talk? Or there's this computer program called Skype."

"I know how to use that. I talked to Xander over it when one of his girlfriends kidnaped him for a weekend." He shook his head with a sigh. "I should've ended her but he likes her." He looked over at Xander, and Sam, then back at Steve. "They're helpful but nosy."

"Friends can be that way. Do you remember doing that to me?"

"Sometimes."

"You remember sometimes or you only remember about some of the times you did it?"

"I've got probably about half of my memories back."

"That's an excellent job. Natasha said it should've given you brain damage instead." He patted him on the metal hand, making Bucky flinch. "It doesn't scare me. It's part of you and you're Bucky. Are you going by Bucky?"

"My present file lists me as Bucky Andreyev. That's the last name I used when they sent me to Sunnydale. Xander knew that one so I used it until I started to remember. Then I found out who I am and I'm not him anymore, Steve."

"Of course you're not. The same as I'm not that skinny kid from Brooklyn who got into a lot of fights he lost." He stared at him. "We're not eighteen anymore, Buck. We both got harder thanks to the war, we both grew up, had different experiences at times. Now apparently we have a smartassed little girl." He frowned but let it clear up. "I thought she reminded me of you but Sam thought I was projecting. Huh."

Bucky laughed. "I've seen pictures of her." He smiled at Steve, who grinned back. "We can talk later. Xander." He nodded at the incoming problem, his hand going to his hidden pistol. Steve's hand was drifting toward his hidden guns too.

Xander looked over and pulled a knife. "Yes, dear? Did you need something?"

"You have something that belongs to us so we're going to trade you for something that belongs to you," the former agent said, tossing down something. "Tonight or else." He tried to run off but Bucky and Steve caught him.

Xander picked up the uniform sleeve. "She's going to fuck you up for that. Bucky, find her for me please?" He touched the sleeve to his watch. No answer. He patted the guy down, finding something on him that looked like an ID card. That got an answer and he could follow that.

"Sam," Bucky warned and nodded at Xander. Sam ran after him to stop him. No luck. Magically moved. "Damn it. He won't save me any to kick around."

Steve looked at him. "He can't hope to get into the base by himself."

"Knowing Xander, he'll have the base invaded," Sam quipped.

"I've seen him do that," Bucky said, looking a bit ill. "Don't remind me. Please?" They walked their hostage off, ignoring the officers who tried to help. "Council business. This guy just admitted taking a slayer." They got out of the way and let them cart him off even if he was begging for mercy. Of course, Mercy was a slayer and she couldn't help him either. She had a lot of pretty knives though and her house was nicely only about a mile away from their present location.

***

Xander walked off the elevator at Stark tower, grunting. "Guys?" he called. "Barton!" He came jogging out of the living area hallway, pausing then taking Kate from him since she was unconscious. "They wanted to trade her for someone," he said, staring at Clint.

"Who?"

"Guess."

"Fuck. Where's Rogers?" he demanded.

"DC. Or maybe they got the text about the base in Connecticut and went to finish off what I didn't blow the fuck up." He smiled. "I think she's just sedated. I wasn't going to trust an ER that I haven't been to." He looked at Stark and shrugged. "The rest are okay and safe. We're dealing with it."

"Who did they want?" Stark asked, hugging Suzette.

"I'm thinking it was Bucky," he mouthed. "They said we had someone in our custody. Came to me to say it."

"That would probably mean him, yeah," Clint agreed.

Xander shrugged. "Kate's like my little sister and sometimes like my prototype. Make sure she's okay and if she's not, let me know. I'll go have another talk with someone." He disappeared.

Clint got their medical team up to come get Kate. Suzette went with her, she adored Kate. Clint looked at Stark, who shrugged. "Can you find Steve and tell him?"

"JARVIS?"

"I've already sent that text message and his phone bears a similar one from Mr. Harris, sir," the AI said. "He's presently finishing off the base asking about the other children they were growing and contaminating. He's got backup in the form of that one armed friend of Mr. Harris."

"Great," Stark agreed. "Tell him to let us know when he's done so we can help." He walked off. Clint was already heading down to medical. Stark was going to help go blow shit up. It was a pretty night for a fly.

***

Xander looked at the little slayer, who was giving him the dumbass look. He grinned. "What did I do to earn that?"

"Kate said you're in deep for dropping her and running because you were scared of how she was going to complain about you not saving her any to kick around."

Xander leaned down. "I never leave someone I have to rescue someone to kick around. Leaving behind threats means they can come for you." She scowled. He grinned. "You look like your dad when you do that, Larissa."

She huffed. "We should tie you up."

"You can't, I've got to meet with the others today."

"Shoot." She pouted. "Including Suzette? She's not in town."

"She's in DC. I saw her yesterday." He wrote down something. "That's her email down there. Sam's a good friend of her dad's."

"Cool! Thank you, Uncle Xander." She hugged his stomach with a grin. "You're neat."

"I try sometimes." Buffy appeared off to the side looking worried and a bit worse for the wear. "What's wrong?"

"Your buddy."

"Flashback?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know." She shrugged. "Hey, Larissa. Can I have Xander? He needs to come beat some sense into Mr. Andreyev."

"Sure." She let Xander go. "I'll write her tonight." She bounded off. Xander waved at her parents, getting smiles and waved back at.

She took Xander back to the center by their emergency codes, pointing at the sparring gym. "The older girls taunted him into sparring with them."

"He's probably not ready to do that yet," he said, heading that way. He knocked before leaning in, looking at the guy sitting in the corner. "You freaked Buffy out. Did you call her fat or something?"

"Hey!" Buffy complained.

He looked at her. "You're gaining weight for *some* reason," he said, walking in there and locking the door. He walked over and flopped down across from Bucky. "Let it all go?" He nodded once. "Any of them on the way to the ER?"

"Barely not."

"Then you held back. Congrats." Bucky glared at him. "I have no doubt you going all out would smash some of the girls to pieces. We don't have the best fighters here, they're in more dangerous houses overseas." He shifted. "Each girl gets a brain download of weapons and fighting styles. We teach them how to awaken them, how to learn to spar, how to access those and figure out what their styles are. Then we encourage them to take outside classes in their chosen styles so they learn more than innate skills, it becomes a real skill. Some girls do, some don't. Buffy never did and I doubt Faith had the chance."

Bucky looked at him. "Only one of them did any good against me," he said quietly.

Xander nodded. "I routinely thrash about half the girls and I pull my punches with Buffy before I let the anger out on her." Bucky nodded, staring at him. "Did you flash back during it?"

"I don't think so. The last fight against Steve flowed but it wasn't the same."

"No, the girls aren't like Steve. He learned things. The girls need to be pushed to learn more but we want them to be girls. It's a really fine line. We err on the side of letting them decide. It's their lives. Against most normal threats, especially faster and stronger ones like vamps, they're good. A lot of them are great. People with huge amounts of skills like you and Steve or martial arts masters they won't win against. Then they're trained to use their brains."

"How can you let them go out there knowing that?"

"The first thing I do is tell them they need self defense training. That they need to learn how to think their way out of things as well as be defensive if they have to." Bucky nodded. "I can't *order* them to do better. If I do that, I'm like the old Council that stole those girls' lives. I can suggest it, I can show them why. You showed them why this morning. Very few of the girls could get up to your level. You're on par with an excellently trained master vampire for speed and strength plus fighting skills." Bucky smiled some. "Most of the girls can take on a master vampire but not a really old one. Not without help. We don't encourage solo hunts for that reason."

"So you leave it up to the girl to see sense and take up her training when she's technically field cleared so she can survive."

"Most of the girls take extra lessons in one or two martial arts or something. Especially after the first time they have their asses handed to them on patrol. They realize it, usually during one of their first training patrols. No matter how often you tell someone they need a skill, they don't understand why until it's shown to them."

"Which is harsh but you're right, they won't understand. I didn't understand why I needed hand-to-hand in basic training." Xander nodded. "I...I'm sorry if they're crying."

"If so, then you gave them the lesson they'd learn on that same training patrol, Bucky. There's only four slayers I'd expect to be able to tie or beat you or Steve. Two of them are in the Japan house, one's in Europe, and one's in Malaysia near that hellmouth. She's unfortunately alone in her house right now." He nodded. "A few others I can see a realistic tie of mutual death." He grinned. "Thank you for breaking the expectations of being *special*."

"I saw that. That's how they taunted me into sparring." He looked at him. "I still feel bad."

"That's because you're a decent guy."

"No I'm not."

"You are. No matter what you did during your attack dog years, you're still a mostly decent guy. So am I. If we weren't, that stupid thing in Gambia wouldn't have tried to capture us. She only goes after those who would have been knights."

Bucky stared at him. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

He thumped his head against the wall, then shook it. "Yeah, I guess I was. Steve was worse at it." Xander grinned. "You hush."

"Sure." He stood up and helped Bucky up. "Want to spar with those four?"

"Not yet."

"They'll probably offer."

"Maybe later." He looked around, grabbing his overshirt. "I should go see Sam."

"Sure." He walked him out of the gym. "Andrew, can you get him to Sam?" The witches having a meeting over tea sent him there. "Thanks, ladies. What's up with the next battle?" He joined their meeting. He had to make plans overtop of their plans against the magical asshole coming to eat all the witches.

***

Bucky appeared, doing up his shirt. "Sam, do you have time for me?" he asked. Steve looked back. "Hey, Steve. You must be Suzette," he said quietly, not expecting her to be here.

"I am." She climbed over the back of the couch, coming over to stand in front of him.

Bucky stared at her. It was like looking at what his sister would look like. She had his hair and his smile. "I've seen pictures of you. Xander had them."

"I really like Uncle Xander. He's a nice guy. Aren't you the guy that was helping with the mini slayers?"

"I am. I'm Mr. Andreyev."

She nodded. "The girls on the bulletin board mentioned you." She looked at his metal hand, picking it up to look at his fingers. He tried not to flinch and pull away from her. "Did that hurt?"

"I don't know. I don't remember."

"That's sad." She gave him a hug. Then she grinned up at him. "Ice cream cures that."

"You've already had your sweets for the day," Steve sighed. "Sorry, Bucky."

"It's not a problem." He used his natural hand to smooth down her hair. She grinned up at him. "Go back to your dad. I need to talk to Sam. I just sparred with the older girls."

"Oooh, did they hurt you? I'll yell at them for you."

"No, and I kept myself from hurting them." Sam came out of his bedroom. "The girls taunted me into sparring. I think I horrified a few."

Sam nodded. "We all know that they're superior in many things but they can't all be great at everything. The same as you're great at some things and Steve's great at others, and Natasha's great at more than you both." He looked at the little kid. "Suzette, can we have a big people talk?"

She looked up at him. "Some day I'll be able to whoop up on Buffy and Faith too. A lot of the big slayers can. Miss Buffy's mythical for many reasons but not because she fights. Sometimes because she fights in skirts and heels though."

"She tried that today. I nearly broke her ankle for her." She giggled and ran back to her father to climb into his lap and cuddle him. He looked at Sam, who nodded. He followed him to the bedroom to talk to him. Sam closed the door behind himself. "They taunted me into sparring. I kept myself from losing it. Xander said I gave them a dose of reality most of them get on a training patrol about not being the greatest and needing more lessons than the downloads."

"He does. I've talked to the local slayers a few times after big things that made them want to start to scream and throw things. Including one's called off engagement when he found out she was a slayer that hadn't wanted to go on patrol. Xander takes a very practical approach to the girls. He lets them make decisions about their lives, including how much training they want to do. Some girls feel it's a calling, like Steve does his job. Some of them feel it's a duty, like you did before all that stuff." Bucky nodded. "Some girls hate it with everything in them and take the training so they can protect themselves." He shrugged. "The old ways sucked more and the girls tended to not last a year usually. Buffy lasted about ten months before she got killed the first time. Then Xander did CPR and changed the whole line."

"He did?"

"Before it was one girl was called, she fought until she died, then another was called." He stared at him. "Council raised 'em like you were trained by HYDRA." Bucky shuddered. "Now they've got a life, they've got families for the most part. They've got choices and one of them is if they want to fall in for patrol or battles or even just around their homes. They were smart when they took over and fixed the old system."

"I can see that. I'd hate that for the girls. Were they better trained then?"

"Two of the girls in the recent history lasted all of a month," he said bluntly. "They were raised by their watcher, sent out by him, and then when she died he retired if he survived. A few of the girls in ancient history got called before the age of ten." Bucky growled. "It's better now. A lot better now. They keep working to make it better for the girls."

"Xander does a lot."

"Yeah, because there's no one else there," he said dryly. "I would've stepped in but my people need me where I am right now. I do counsel a lot of them when they need it."

Bucky nodded. "A few of them think my arm's a fashion statement." Sam grinned. "I could've killed them."

"You didn't."

"That's what he said."

"Xander's got no training on how to counsel but he's the guy that's been there and done that so he can speak of it. Even if the girls won't always listen to him before the bad things happen. The first group of girls, the ones that made it to Sunnydale to fight the First Evil? Half of them ended up pregnant by the end of the invasion in LA. They were down twenty girls due to pregnancy. Buffy decided Xander was happy in Africa doing his warrior time and didn't call him back for it. A few called to talk to him afterwards, even though he had to interrupt it to go fight something. They got huffy until they heard what he had been fighting. Then Buffy complained. A lot."

"Xander compared me to a knight."

"He'd know. Boy's called the White Knight for a reason," Sam said dryly. "No matter how much he fell into the warrior mind set in Africa and didn't really come back from it."

"Not before?"

"Not sure. I know he lost his eye under two months before the First Evil battle. I know he's still grieving for all he lost there. Including his town."

"He showed me some of it."

"Probably a lot he'd show is in the hole under that nibbling tree. Including the hellmouth and the bodies of all those who fell during that battle. Including his ex."

Bucky nodded. "He won't talk about her."

"With me either. When he's ready he will." He stared at him. "Did you go all out with them?"

"I held back some. I kept myself from death strikes or anything too damaging."

"That's a good move. You did good."

"I could've seriously hurt them."

"Yup." Sam nodded. "Then again, you could've tripped some of them while they were forcing you to shop with them and done the same thing."

"A few thought me scowling at them was cute." He rubbed his hands over his face then looked at Sam. "I..."

"You're in no way ready for any sort of battle that's not an immediate emergency. I wasn't sure if Xander taking you with him was a great idea because the boy gets into some of the stupidest stuff at times."

"He didn't ask me for help when he did a preemptive strike against a bio-dealer we caught trying to buy blood from ebola survivors. Just did it and walked off."

Sam nodded. "He hates them. They endanger him and he loathes those sort. Them and slavers. He'll blow 'em up faster than anything." He stared at Bucky, smiling some. "A lot of people don't see that deep into Xander. They see the big brother figure. The protector of the younger slayers. They see the nice guy he used to be. They don't see that he doesn't sleep most nights. Sometimes until he's so tired he drops."

"He did in Africa but he usually worked himself to exhaustion," Bucky said quietly, glancing at the door then at him. Sam nodded and threw something at the door, making Suzette yelp and run off again. "She's sneaky."

"Yes she is. Some day she's going to be hell on the boys."

Bucky sighed. "Don't give me the nasty thoughts, Sam."

"Sorry." He looked at him. "You did the right thing. Both in the pulling your punches with them and with the walking away."

"I basically kicked them out and hid in the gym."

"Sometimes a man's gotta have quiet time," Sam assured him. "Especially when they realize they have control of their gifts." Bucky stared at him. "You have control of the urges. You have control of the arm, it doesn't control you. You can decide to kill or not to kill." Bucky nodded that was true, looking at his hands. "They're no more bloody than any other soldier's or hunters, Bucky," he said quietly. Bucky looked up at him again. "Any blood on you stains your hands. Any soldier who's been in combat has it up to their elbows at least. Some of us further."

"Some of us all but bathed in it."

"Yup, and you're not the only one. You had that many taking down the Red Skeleton."

He slumped but nodded. "I did. I had multiple kills back then." He looked at the door then shook his head, mouthing 'Steve'. Sam threw another tennis ball at the door, making Steve back off. "Later, Steve."

"Fine." He walked off. Another tennis ball hit the door so he sighed and walked off for real. He went to talk to Suzette, who was talking to the big slayers. She hung up and looked at him. "Are they okay with sparring against him?"

"They're pouty because he did bad things and beat them."

"Bucky is a really good fighter," he said, sitting next to her. "Some of the girls don't expect that and they didn't do their best. Or they're not the best fighters. Not every slayer is a great fighter."

She looked up at him. "Are you that good?"

He nodded. "He and I fought against each other in DC, when they had him under mind control stuff. He nearly won against me too and I'm real good. Natasha could probably tie with him."

"You never let me see you fight."

"I don't think you need to see that. You're too young."

"The better trained you are, the faster you win," she repeated. Pepper had said that to Tony about his gym time.

He nodded. "That's true. Still, you're a bit young to watch me spar with Natasha or Clint."

"Not Uncle Tony or Uncle Bruce?"

"Bruce doesn't spar and Tony's got other skills. He can fight if he needs to but it's not the same."

"Because of the suit?"

"That's more complicated. You'd have to ask Sam why he relies on the suit instead of his own body."

"Oh. Okay I guess. Can I see you spar against Uncle Xander?"

"I'd probably end up hurting Xander. I'm not sure how he's trained."

She pouted. "He's really good. He's been in a whole bunch of battles."

"But Xander seems to do best with weapons, where I don't always use one. I got a lot more training than Xander got."

"Can he take the training?"

"If he wanted. I'm sure someone could help him with that. It's possible this one is."

She nodded, considering that. She texted Xander, who said he could and sparred against Natasha in the past, to ask her. She sent her a text message, getting one back that she was in a meeting but they had sparred. She recommended Xander learn a few new skills. She asked something harder, if he had been good enough to hurt her for real like the new guy had done with the big slayers. She admitted he had injured her but she had hurt him some too. That's how you sparred. She showed her father, who nodded. "Is that why I can't watch you play fight?"

"Yup."

"Oh." She sent her another message about that stuff. Natasha answered after a few minutes. It wasn't a great answer but it was good enough she guessed. "Am I going to be a slayer who's not great at it?"

"I don't know. That's somewhat up to you and your training. Which you're doing fantastic on by what everyone says." She smiled and nodded. "But you've also got to deal with your body as it grows and changes. You've got extra lessons coming once you're a bigger girl. Then you've got to learn how to harness the slayer spirit once you're activated. Some girls don't want to do all that training. You're my little girl and you'll do as good as you can. I know you will."

She nodded, hugging him. "Thank you, Daddy. Can you spar with the new guy?"

"If he wants. Right now he's healing from a few things and it might hurt him more."

Sam and Bucky came out of the bedroom. "What?" Sam asked.

"She wanted me to spar against Bucky and she wanted to watch me training with Natasha and Clint."

Bucky shook his head. "No, not yet."

"Okay," he agreed. "Sam?"

"I think she's a bit young. You said Natasha's real brutal during sparring and I doubt she wants to see all the blood from it."

"Blood?" she asked with a grimace.

"Yup, from things like punched noses," Bucky said.

"Oh." She nodded. "Maybe not then. Blood's icky." She climbed over her father to stare at the new guy. "He talked about someone named Bucky when he was little." Bucky nodded. "You're him, right?"

"I am."

"Then why aren't you old like Miss Peggy?"

"Because the people who captured him did mean things to him and put him on ice, like I was in ice," Steve said, pulling her back down. She wiggled free and got away from him to go stare up at Bucky. "Suzette," he warned.

She looked at his metal hand then up at him. "Are you helping Uncle Xander like you used to help my dad?"

"Some and he's helping me heal."

"He's good at fixing booboos. The big slayers say so." She stared at him. "Can I help with the booboos?"

"It's not really something that takes a bandaid, Suzette," Sam said quietly. "With him, they did mean things to his head."

"Not just his arm?"

Bucky shook his head. "No, not just the arm."

"That sucks," she said, cracking Bucky up. He nodded but smiled at her. "It's okay to be sad for missing out on stuff. I'm sad sometimes because I didn't meet Dad until I was five. The lab people weren't too bad but they weren't him or Uncle Tony or the others."

Bucky squatted down to get on her level. "There's not many guys like your dad. Even when he was scrawny and sickly, he was still one heck of a guy. That's why we were friends."

"Will you tell me about him?"

"I still don't remember everything, pumpkin."

She grinned. "I'm not orange." She punched him on the shoulder, making him wince. "Oops, didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't. You don't hit that hard yet."

She looked at his arm through the neck hole of his shirt. She moved closer to look down it then at him. "They were mean to your whole arm?"

"I had frostbite so they removed it."

"What's frostbite?"

"It's when you're in the cold too long and it damages your body. I banged it and broke it on the way down a mountain." He sighed softly. "It's a bad story. You don't want to hear that one."

She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, snuggling into that shoulder. "Feels like a real shoulder to me. Only real shoulders cuddle." Bucky gave her a hug, looking at Steve and Sam, who both grinned at him. She pulled back. "Did my dad play pranks?"

"Sometimes. I did more than him. Your dad was usually getting into fights sticking up for what he thought was right."

She looked at Steve. "Then why did I get grounded for doing the same thing?"

"Because it's still wrong and I got punished when I did it," Steve said. "Beyond that, you got suspended for two days for fighting at school. Which is why you got grounded." He looked at Bucky, who was staring at her. "There was a bigger girl who picked on her about her Stark Enterprises t-shirt that says she's a future employee in training."

"She was a dumbass," Suzette said. Steve coughed and gave her that dad look. She sighed, looking at Bucky. "Are you like an Uncle?"

"I am. I can be."

"I'd like that. Uncle Xander's a good, fussy uncle. That means you can visit the next time you're in New York?"

"I can try. I saw you at camp."

She frowned. "Where were you hiding?"

"In the attic above the mess hall so I could have some peace and quiet. You girls shrieked the whole two weeks."

She grinned and kissed him on the cheek again. "Of course we did. We were playing." She smiled. "Did you get to play?"

"Now and then. We didn't have all the toys you guys have today. Most girls jumped rope or did hopscotch."

"How do you do that?"

"You use some chalk to make a board on the sidewalk and follow the pattern after tossing the stone to see which one you've gotta skip." Sam got her a dry erase marker so the guys took her outside to show her how to do that. Sam even got it on film for Xander. It was cute watching Steve hopscotch. And Bucky. Then Suzette pounced him from behind and climbed up him to sit on his shoulder. He looked up at her. She just grinned and shrugged. He sighed but put up with it. Yup, he was a lot better now.

***

Bucky made it back home that night and flops onto the couch. "She was there too."

Xander looked over from his warmed up can of soup, still in the can, and his book. "Suzette? I knew she was somewhere in DC. I thought he was off talking to Agent Carter again or something." He ate another bite. "Sorry, should've warned you."

Bucky glared at him. Then he put his head down. "She thinks I'm nice. I told her I wasn't but she asked if I was mean, and when I said I'm usually not, she decided I'm nice because those are the only two options she sees."

"She's seven. They're all very certain the world works a certain way. Wait until she's twelve and thirteen." He ate another bite of soup to cover up the smirk. Bucky threw a pillow at him but he managed to duck and not tip his soup. "Hey! Eating here."

Bucky looked at the can then at him. "Why are you eating war rations?"

"If I go to the market an ex I don't want to deal with is there." He ate another bite. "Andrew's at cooking class and the girls will pounce if I bum in their kitchen."

"You can't shoo him off?"

"No. And it's a her."

"Is she evil now?"

"Sometimes just demanding and I'm not in the mood for chains and nagging."

"She might surprise you."

"She tried to gas bomb the grocery store to kidnap me when she spotted me," Xander said. He drank the rest of his soup and got back to reading. "There's some food."

"I can go buy groceries."

"She'll try to take you hostage to get me."

"Has she done that?"

"Yup."

Bucky sighed, shaking his head. "Sure. I can still shop." He got up to put on better shoes and grabbed the truck keys on his way out the door. He had his wallet. He knew what Xander would eat. He saw the pouting woman at the end of the driveway and figured it was her. "Xander's having a bad day."

"I wasn't going to tie him up as much this time."

He stared at her. "He's in a cuddly mood. Not a tie him up and fuck him mood."

She sighed. "That sucks! All I wanted was some Xander sex." She drove off in a huff. She'd call him to pout about him not being in the mood later. He'd probably fake sigh and give in so she'd get what she wanted. Then she could talk to him about filling that little contract on him so they could split it. They didn't want much. Just a tiny bit of bone marrow and blood.

Bucky drove to the store, shaking his head as he parked. It was a bit crowded but that was fine. He walked in to get what they'd need for a few days at home. There was no telling when they'd be hiding again. In the frozen section, his phone rang with an unknown number. He answered it. "Do I know you?" He paused and smiled. "Natalia," he said quietly in Russian. "Are you well?" He listened to her. "I'll let him know. Are you okay?" She said something then hung up. He put his phone back in his pocket. He could go to New York and find her like she had suggested. He got what they needed and went home. At least Xander came out to carry in the groceries. He stopped him from sighing as he walked off. "Nope. There's a ten million dollar contract in US dollars on your blood and bone marrow. Can we test what you actually have now?"

"Who?" he asked.

"My contact didn't say."

Xander groaned and called an ex. "I heard someone wants to chop me into pieces?" He listened. "Who?" He scowled, rubbing over the eye patch. "You can tell them to fuck themselves and if they try, I'm going to treat them like the last slimy thing I took on. No, not the slug, the other one. Yes, the one I had to blow up the gas depot to kill." He hung up and took a calming breath then called a few people on conference call. "People, someone very stupid somewhere told people I'm a virologist's wet dream. That's why there's a ten mil contract on my blood and bone marrow. And it nicely comes from someone at the old Council who's still employed."

"Fuck," Faith said. "'Drew's at class. I can find them, X."

"If I find them, they're going to die," Xander promised. "Just...hand them to someone, Faith. Okay? If he's not there, talk to the other people I'm also talking with. You know most of them and maybe they'll help me protect myself."

"Xander, what did you have?" one demanded in a genteel English accent.

"No. Comment. Beyond the mermaid taint."

"I forgot about that. Shite," he said. "All right, we'll figure it out and try to end it for you. You lay low, lad. We'll see what we can do."

"We'll try," Bucky said.

"There's a battle in two days," Xander complained. "One shittastic thing trying to eat all the witches."

"Can we feed it a few before we kill it?" another male voice, sounding younger and American, asked.

"I think that'd be unethical but ask me again if I get turned into a cat or something," Xander quipped. "Oh, Brad. If you see Willow, smite the bitch. She's the one who told him I had fallen into that burial chamber."

"Burial... Native?" that American voice asked.

"No, not really, Mickey. Well, Native American and in Sunnydale."

"Ow," the English one said. "I believe she's over here in Devon. Let me check and get back with you. Try to be safe, Xander, and if you'd let us know we could subtly pass it back."

"Which means I'll be worth more in bits and pieces," Xander quipped with a smug look at his phone. "I know most of what the fuck's in there. That's why I blow up any bio-hazard to my health whenever I see it." The voices all groaned. "So yeah, can we just pummel this problem *before* the battle?"

"Yes," Faith said. "Rosenburg's not here. Buffy is. I'll tell her highness." She hung up shouting for Buffy.

The guys sighed. "We'll work on it, Xander. If we have to, we'll send someone to watch your back," the American said.

"Don't send my uncle. He hates my duty and thinks it's not really training and it's lesser than military service."

"He's never seen you fight," the American said.

"I don't care. He made himself plain."

"Okay. We'll leave it at someone else. Are the Avengers showing up?" the English voice asked.

"Why would they? It's against witches and up in Portland, Oregon."

"Sure," the American said. "Thanks for sparing New York."

"Two weeks," Xander corrected. "Small thing in Brooklyn. Get the Avengers to handle that."

"I'll try." He hung up with a moan.

"We'll try, Xander. Do be safe."

"Sophie's out here."

"Bloody hell, she'll try to give it to them so you can split it and she can have more sex while babying you," he said. "Just...don't."

"She's trying to guilt trip me into it."

"No, just don't. Use your hand or the wall or something. I'll call some contacts out there to pick her up. How about that." He hung up before Xander could say anything.

Xander put his phone into his pocket, taking the groceries to put up. "This is the next attempt at the Powers getting me out of their hair," he said dryly when Bucky kept staring at him. "I need to find a way up there so I can kick an ass."

"Do a seance with some of my old team? See if they will?"

Xander looked at him. "Don't tempt me."

Bucky laughed. "They might if Steve asks." He came in to help and make real food. Xander was pulverizing some fruit so that helped a lot too.

***

Andrew's phone rang his emergency code so he looked at it. He stared. Then he sighed. "Shoot." He texted a few friends. They could help. And he'd help take down Rosenburg. He got back to his cooking lesson, smiling at his girlfriend. "Rosenburg did something again."

"You said she does that a lot," she said, handing over the peppers. He grinned at her and added it to their dish.

***

Faith hung up and started to yell for Buffy. She finally huffed in. "Close the doors. We got issues."

"What issues do we have this time?" she demanded. "I'm about to go on patrol."

"Then find witchy poo and stomp her ass. She told the old line about Xander's burial chamber accident. It's ten mil for his blood and bone marrow." Buffy slammed the door to stare at her. Faith nodded. "X just found out and called in a warning. Which means we'll have people staring at us during the battle."

Buffy grimaced. "We sure it was Willow?"

"From what they found out, yup." She called someone. "It's Faith and Buffy. Who gave the idiot watcher info on Xander's blood?"

"Higher ups reminded Willow and had her blurt," a male, cocky voice said. "Pitiful of them really. He'd make a better vampire than a dead body."

"Spike, don't start. We haven't even told Xander they sent you back yet to take his spot."

Spike laughed. "He may know. Does the seeing now."

"He's not like Dru. He's not insane," Buffy said dryly. "Plus he's got a guy he rescued who's really badass. He beat all the girls in sparring earlier. At once."

Spike moaned. "Metal arm?"

"Yup," Faith said.

"Yeah, used to be a regular guy till HYDRA and them sort got 'im."

"We heard," Faith said. "Kate told us enough to let us know he was safe. So the Powers prompted Willow?"

"Yup. They hate 'im."

"Yay them and he's avoided it before," Buffy said dryly. "They probably won't win this time. Show up soon, Spike. Andrew's off tonight at cooking class." She hung up, looking at Faith. "We need to tell Bucky so he doesn't kill Spike."

Faith shrugged. "I don't see why you like dead dongs, B, but it's gross. Keep it to yourself. What're we doing about Red?"

"If they made her...."

"Doesn't mean she doesn't know how to shut up. She's fished too long and hard recently because she resents Bucky."

Buffy nodded. "It does look that way. She tried to break Xander and Cordy up for the same reason." She sighed and pushed back her hair. "I don't know. Tell Xander. It's his thing to handle and ours to keep everyone else out of the way. Let me go tell Giles." She trudged up the stairs, tapping on his bedroom door. "Giles? It's me." She walked in at his complaining grunt. She stared at him. "Willow told the old line about that Thanksgiving." He glared at her. She nodded. "Spike said the Powers prompted it to get rid of Xander."

"I dare say he'll go kick their arses greatly," he said dryly. "In a permanent manner if possible."

She smiled. "That might be cute. Are you okay?"

"They're trying to up it so he goes before me but not much."

Buffy shook her head. "You're not allowed to die. It's a Scooby rule, Giles. He won't die because some of his ex's will bring him back. If not, the demon poker circuit sure will so they have someone to watch in awe and horror." She kissed and hugged him then left him alone to rest. She told Faith that and called Xander to update him. She heard something on that end go 'crunch' and winced at whatever Bucky had hit. They had it and she could keep all the girls out of it.

***

Xander hung up and looked at the freezer door he had just destroyed. "Sure," he said quietly and calmly. He called Kate. "It's me. Put it down. Come get my armory keys before I use them," he said a bit too quietly. "Now please." He hung up and looked at his fist then at Bucky. "Let me get that to go."

He looked up from his phone. "She's in England."

"I can get to Devon."

"Call in a poker marker," he said. "It'll cause less property damage."

Xander shrugged. "What do I care?" He walked off. Kate had his armory keypad with her. "Good girl, Kate." He got something from the kitchen cabinet and left, Bucky grabbing on at the last minute. He looked at him. "I don't need help."

"Bullshit."

"I don't." He walked up to the front door and knocked on it, smiling at the witch that answered. "I believe you have a few people in there I need to burn at the stake. Would you like to send them out or should I come find them?"

"What are you nattering about, Xander?" she asked.

He called up the information on his phone, showing her. "Because. Willow. Sold. It." She blinked and shuddered. "And I'm pretty sure, since one of them is the brother of one of your witches, who holds the trust funds away from his little fingers, she's gotta know too. Now, should I come in and find them or would you like to hand them over peacefully so I can kill them?"

"You'll do no such thing," she said.

He took off the shielding necklace, handing it back to Bucky. "Hold that for a minute please." Bucky stepped back. So did the witch, who was looking horrified. He walked past her and into the house. "Would anyone else like to tell me how they were involved in the deal to try to kill me?" he asked.

"The Powers...." one said.

Xander let out a bitter sounding snort. "Yeah, we know they hate me for letting humanity continue. Pity. I don't care about their opinion. They're not my deity of choice." Willow was backing off. He caught her by her hair. "No, we're going to talk, Willow. Because you sold information to a guy who was going to have me chopped up so he could use the stuff in my blood to kill thousands of people." He walked her outside, handing her over. "Keep her for a minute." He looked at the house and the protections that went up. He walked through them. "Hmm. Looks like that research paid off." A few screamed and tried to attack. Xander just stared at them. Their attack failed and he shrugged.

"You done?" A few were crying. He let out the hellmouth taint. It needed to find a new home tonight. They were screaming at him. He didn't care. Police showed up and tried to arrest Bucky but he told them why. They took Willow into custody. Xander walked out, shaking his head at the officer. "No, she's mine. They may have prompted her to give it over but she didn't have to say anything." She was crying.

Behind him the whole house was now glowing with hellmouth radiation and the people inside were screaming in rage at what the newly forming hellmouth was showing them. They were doomed. The Powers That Be weren't going to stick up for them. No higher being was going to stick up for them. The new hellmouth would be here and it would be horrible. All the infected artifacts they had been healing, all the books, everything in the meeting house was now infected like Xander had been. A lifetime's work for each piece and they were just as radiated so it couldn't be them. A few were sobbing because their children would become the next Xander.

Bucky handed Xander back the shielding necklace. He put it back on and the hellmouth glowed in happiness as its source was hidden. Now it could safely form correctly. It'd be a good hellmouth, a proper one that didn't draw evil. Bucky looked at the house then at Xander. "Let the officials have her so they can stop that price on your blood," he ordered, staring at him. "They can be tortured in jail. Especially by showing them how many people would've died for that plan and the ones you couldn't save."

Xander looked at the redhead in the car then at him. "For some reason she's jealous of us being friends."

"Dames are complicated and that one's warped," he said bluntly. "You've seen it with the way she nags, Xander."

Xander nodded, taking a deep breath when Bucky did. He calmed his mind and nodded. "If she gets out of custody, she's mine." He looked at the officer. "If she's in a cell she's fine. Outside and I'll get her. She won't survive." He walked off. He ran into Ethan and shrugged. "They decided I'm an expendable toy," he sneered.

"Ripper would've just beaten them but you did what I would have done."

Xander grinned. "I didn't call on Janus to do it, just let my old hellmouth find a new home." Ethan shivered, backing away from him. "Have fun with the glowy witches of doom. Bucky, I'm going."

"We're going. I don't want to be radiated that way." He nodded at Ethan. Who watched them go then fell down to pray to Janus for strength to help handle this. A few more priests showed up and they got to work settling the hellmouth and getting the witches free. They could pay for their arrogance a few other ways. That was up to a higher power.

***

Bucky got them back to the house through the portal, without letting any of the girls 'help' them. He looked at Xander. "Are you all right?"

"You sound like Sam."

"I'm doing what he'd do."

"If you're going to yell at me next, just...don't."

"I'm not. I'm proud you didn't cut them into chunks, Xander." Xander snorted, a bitter and cold sound. "I am."

Xander looked up at him. "It was probably way too mean and close to evil."

"Probably but they deserved it. You're not an anatomy lesson in the making." Xander nodded, slumping some, hands on his stomach. "Let me see what you have? Maybe it's nothing good so they'll leave you alone."

Xander looked up at him. "I know most of what I had and two or three are saleable."

"Crap. Can I have it run?"

"If you can find someone to do it absolutely silently."

"Let me ask Steve."

"He already looks at me like I'm a pathetic wannabe. I don't want that look again."

"Steve?"

"Yeah."

"He's never done that."

"He's got some doses of special girl syndrome too, Bucky. At least you hide yours."

"I'm not that special. Scarred, ugly, unfortunate, but not special that way. I'll...I'll ask Bishop." Xander gave him a look. "She could get Stark to do it quietly."

"Maybe. I already owe him a huge favor for helping the girls."

"I doubt he's the sort that'd expect you to pay him back for that."

"That's not how life works."

"Sometimes you don't need paid back for the good things."

"Then it comes back to bite you on the ass in a karmic bite."

"Sure. Sometimes." He called Kate. She could handle quiet things. She was at a party with other teens. "Kate, we're having an SOS moment." She took him off speaker and walked away from her friends. "Long story short, there's a contract out for Xander's blood." He listened. "Absolutely silent on it. Ten mil." He heard her shudder.

"I can figure it out with my medical records," Xander said.

"No, we'll do it officially and if we have to, we'll put out that you don't have anything big or nasty beyond the mermaid taint." He listened to Kate. "He didn't want to ask for a favor. Please. Just keep it at absolutely silent. Thanks, Kate." He hung up and looked down at Xander. "Want me to call Sam so you two can talk?" Xander shook his head, staring at him. "Want to have some chocolate? It usually makes you feel better. I can't really call up one of your ex's."

"I need to find a huge battle to beat at something with my axe for a while."

"That's not real effective but I use a punching bag for that. So does Steve." He sat down on the couch. "Maybe a sea monster will show up later." Kate appeared with Stark. "Hey, Kate. Thanks. You too, Stark."

"They saw what you did to the witches and upped it to fifty," Stark said. Xander winced. "How did you do that?" Xander moved the shielding necklace, making him shiver. "What's that?"

"Hellmouth taint from Sunnydale. I sucked up a huge amount," he said quietly, staring up at him. "It loved me and the new one loves me too."

Stark nodded. "They can handle that. Arm?" Xander slid out of his shirt and pointed at the scar tissue from former IV's. "I can work around that." He felt and found a vein, popping the needle into it. Xander had close veins, he didn't have to tie it off. The vials filled quickly and he stepped back, staring at him. "You okay?"

"I slipped toward evil but I think they deserved it since this is how the Powers That Be wanted me killed this time. At least it's nicer than Giles' intestinal cancer." Stark shuddered. "If we both die, they can remake the Council so the girls are pawns. Can you take Bucky so he's safe?"

"I'm fine," Bucky said firmly. "They probably don't even know I'm here." He looked at Stark. "He didn't want anyone told."

"I can understand why. Give me until daybreak, guys. Bishop?" She took him back to the house and Andrew got them back to the tower. He went to the lab.

Kate deflated next to Clint, hugging his arm, head on his shoulder. "I hate the higher beings over the slayers," she said quietly.

He moved his arm to hug her. "We all hate higher beings. They're usually petty assholes." She nodded. "Xander okay?"

"A bit depressed and a bit 'fuck this, if it's today it's all good' again." Clint winced. "He used the hellmouth taint he carries to start a new hellmouth in England. The witches were involved in that whole selling him thing." Clint shuddered. "I have no idea what's fully going on." He handed her the notes Natasha had found. She read them and grimaced. "I know there was at least one incident but I have no idea why." She looked up at him. "They really have it out for him because he made things work when they were all screwed up."

"The common sense vote is sometimes the best thing," Clint said quietly. "We'll help them handle it and Suzette won't have to see anything going on." She nodded, resting on his shoulder again. "Weren't you at some party tonight?"

"I don't feel like partying. Besides, they were drunk and stupid." She grinned at Suzette when she ran off the elevator after school. "Hey, kiddo."

She hopped on them to hug them both. "I passed a history test!" she said with a happy smile.

"That's a great thing, and much better than I could do," Clint said. She laughed but hugged them again. "Take Kate to go play with her?"

"Is someone sick?"

"No, one of Xander's ex's is looking for him for a bad thing," Kate said.

"Oooh. Poor Uncle Xander. We can call him later?"

"We'll see," Clint said. "Go play." She dragged Kate down to the climbing course. They could play in there for a long time until Natasha was ready to teach her more yoga. Clint relaxed. "When is the next battle, JARVIS?"

"Two days. A being who wanted to destroy witches."

"Is his name Xander?" he asked.

"I believe he's multi-dimensional but not related to him, Agent Barton."

"Cool. Let us know when and where."

"I believe they were going to ask your attendance at the next one in this area. Andrew has asked for the team to help. That's about two weeks later."

"Sure, get us the information from Andrew and we'll look it over."

"I shall. Captain Rogers has called a meeting for tomorrow."

"Sure. Make it after Stark goes back there."

"I can try. He wanted earlier."

"That's going to suck since I'm not getting up at six for a meeting," Clint said dryly.

"I'll make that note."

***

Stark showed up with Andrew, handing over the sealed envelope. Xander was asleep in the chair. Bucky was awake and worried. He nodded at Xander. Bucky shook his head. Xander would beat them for trying to wake him up. He looked inside and sighed mentally. "That's bad," he said. Xander snapped awake. He handed the sheets over.

Xander sat up to read them, frowning some. "When did I have that?"

"I have no idea," Stark said. "That's what your blood showed." He shifted. "Have you thought about an option to handle it if you are captured for that reason?"

Xander looked at him. "As opposed to the ones who capture me for other reasons and wouldn't care to have this too? Then I'd never get laid."

Stark laughed. "It's good you can laugh about that."

"I remember living through most of them." He stared. "That's not what the Natives had."

"It was. You may have thought it was something but it was yellow fever and smallpox."

"We thought an ancient form of syphilis and maybe smallpox."

"Yellow fever has some of the same symptoms, including higher fevers. With the rest going on at that time it was probably hard to tell. So what're we going to do about this?"

Xander grimaced, leaning back in the chair. "Is there something we can do about this?"

"Lying about what's in there," Bucky said.

"Gladly. Please do," he said dryly. He let him see the papers. Bucky stared at them. He looked at Stark. "Any idea if they're usable?"

"Yes. I didn't try to separate them out but we can probably get a viral sample of at least half of them." Xander nodded.

"Does this mean he has to quit dating?" Andrew asked.

"Hey!" Xander complained. "They're not all bad."

"You dated an agent and they were found to be torturing others." Bucky laughed. "I know, you found them out."

"I nearly killed her. She tried to climb in with me too." He looked at Xander then at Andrew. "Is there an option to stop it from being taken somehow?"

"I can try to work something up magically. Or we can maybe try to filter it out?" he asked Stark. Who shook his head. "We can't?"

"We may be able to clean out the blood but it'd take too long. A full transplant is dangerous with the mermaid taint."

"I had one due to the mermaid taint," Xander said. "This all happened after that. I remember being so damn sick but nothing else."

"It could kill you now if we can't put the right antibodies back in. Send your body into shock. We can probably weed it out but not fully remove it."

"I'll work up some runes so they can't remove that from you when they draw blood," Andrew said. Xander smiled at him. He gave him a hug around the head. "They're having a meeting about the upcoming battles."

"Go for it," Xander said. "I could still use something to start whacking away at."

Stark nodded. "We'll think up ideas for you, kid. For now. Lay a bit lower and be careful." Xander nodded and he let Andrew take him off. He walked into the meeting room with Andrew. "Sorry, I was running some bloodwork for Xander."

"Paternity?" Steve asked. "I know he's had a few girlfriends."

"No." He sat down. "Looking at something he had when he was younger." Steve dropped it. "Two battles coming up for you guys, Andrew?"

"Three but one's in Liechtenstein." He handed over the folders. "The second is one we'd like to have help with."

"Xander's not coming to the meeting?" Bruce asked.

"He's not feeling great," Andrew said. They all nodded at that. Clint and Natasha both stared at him. He gave them a look back. They let it go and stared at Stark instead.

"The contract?" Natasha said in Greek, which she knew Stark knew some of.

"Bad," he replied in English. "Very bad. We're not telling anyone." She nodded and let it go.

Steve looked at them. "What?"

"Someone put a contract out on Xander's life," Andrew said. "It's not the first but this time it's one of his ex's. So he's laying low and he'll be at the battle in Portland. He's mad and wants to start hitting something with his axe."

"Punching bags help," Steve said.

"Not this time," Stark said. "Unless they're named after people."

"I'm going to regret this but would anyone mind if I ask Ethan for some help come Samhain?"

Everyone stared at him. "What sort of help?" Natasha asked.

"I won't change everyone into their costume but maybe call back a few shades to talk to certain people, like Rosenburg?"

Stark winced. "Would it let more through?" Andrew shrugged. "If it's a single spirit doorway then I personally wouldn't mind."

"Thanks. I'll ask him when he shows up for tea with Giles later." He checked his watch and they got back to the battle problems. "Xander's already worked out the battle plans for Portland with the witches not in the newly glowy Devon Coven. So we should still be good there." Steve looked confused again. He looked at Natasha.

Natasha cleared her throat. "Some higher being prompted Rosenburg to talk to an older line watcher about how Xander had fallen into some Native American remains back in Sunnydale," she said quietly. "Somehow the ghosts had given him diseases from it, that did disappear when the ghosts left. Due to that, that watcher put out a high price on his blood."

"If he sells it, he'll make more than the fifty mil that's the current price he's giving for it," Stark said. Natasha stared at him. "I'm not sharing. Xander knows, that's really all that need to." She nodded that was a good idea. "I've also erased all the results."

"That's a lot for some blood," Steve said.

"Not if you have plans to sicken others," Natasha said simply. Steve shuddered. "With his mermaid taint it could conceivably make it so any current treatments wouldn't work."

Stark shook his head. "It didn't warp them that way."

"That's good to know," Steve sighed. He looked at Stark, who stared back. "Thank you."

"Welcome. He needed to know and it could be a huge problem. He's working on ideas now." Andrew nodded to back that up. "Anyway, battle. Portland. Rainy that day like usual?"

Clint checked the weather sites. "No, cloudy."

"Even better," Stark agreed. "What about the one locally?" They opened it to look at, grimacing at the mess they'd have to help with. "Did a kindergarten Loki plan this?"

"Not that we're aware of," Andrew quipped. "We think the summoners are trying to use it to eat bad things so we're all more holy." Everyone groaned but went over that battle. They could help.

***

Xander looked up from beating at the things that wanted to eat witches, then shrugged and looked over his shoulder at Bucky, who shot a special round at the mage. The bullet had been magiced somehow and made it through the shields he had up. The slayers made it through after the mage screamed in pain about his stomach having a hole in it. Then Xander beheaded him over the girls' heads. That finished it off. They all backed off and Faith lit him on fire. Bucky relaxed, watching over the team for now. He did like the sniper position. It was also handy when a large, lumbering demon stumbled toward them growling. The magicked bullet hit it and damaged it but didn't kill it.

He touched his earpiece that led to Andrew. "Wood?" he guessed. He got an affirmative and switched rounds to one in his pocket. That took out that demon. A smaller one appeared and tried to attack Xander but he was still going to kill it. Faith staked it when Xander shook it off him. Two more tried. Then the last one appeared clapping. "Crap," Bucky muttered. The guy looked toward him and flicked a finger in his direction. He was frozen. Andrew was mumbling in his ear but he could barely hear him.

Xander looked at the demon. "What is your problem now?"

"You. You overthrew their plans."

"Yeah, so humanity could live," he shot back.

"What do we care if they all die? Grubby beings should be beneath our heels."

"Sorry, not the slave sort," Xander shot back. The demon was trying to prevent the slayers from touching him. Xander wasn't as frozen. The demon was trying but not very effectively. Xander managed to get him with a knife to the throat but the demon only howled and brought reinforcements. "Ladies, go," Xander ordered, getting in their way. It broke the line of sight and the slayers were freed. "Go now."

"Hell no," Faith said.

"Faith, go! You don't have the right equipment for them." She huffed but got more girls called in with the necessary silver things. They brought extras for the girls already there.

"It's nice that you're going to throw away some of the extra slayers to save yourself." The demon smirked. "I think they'll love their spots in hell."

"I doubt they'll be there and no, the girls are going to make sure you don't get to leave." The demon huffed. More of his demonic animals showed up.

"X," Faith warned when he started to quip again. "Let it go."

Xander looked back at her. "Go. Now," he said quietly. "Evacuate and go." She shook her head. "Sorry but yay. 'Drew, send them home!" he yelled. The slayers all disappeared thanks to the coven. Xander smirked. "There, better. Now they won't have to see me going spastic on you." The demon started to laugh until Xander cut off his head. "That's probably not the answer you wanted. Pity," he cooed. Then he dove into the animals. Bucky was freed and fired on them. Xander shook his head and finished that one off. "Bullets won't work," he yelled.

"I see that. What does?"

"Beheading," he yelled back.

"I have a sword." He was getting down when Stark showed up and blasted most of them. "Or you can do that." He did manage to get down and help. Xander got bitten by one but he smacked it off his leg then stabbed it in the head. Stark shook his head. Bucky shook his head with a sigh. Finally Xander was done with the animals, bending over panting, and looked at the mess. Bucky helped him stand up straighter. "It'll hurt."

"Yeah, probably." He looked around. "Does anyone else feel magic?"

"Yup," Bucky said. He ran back to get his rifle. Stark fell back to a more hidden spot. A portal opened and a pretty young woman walked out.

"Oh, fuck no! Go the fuck home!" Xander shouted with a point. "Not a chance in hell!"

"But, Xander," she sighed, smiling at him. "I could bring you with me. They will not mind now, not after you have beaten many things."

"Why do I want to die?" he demanded. "No!" He walked off. "It's immortal," he called. "And dangerous. And a stalker."

"Xander," she complained, floating after him. "We are good together and my people will love you being our prince, even though we cannot have children." She smiled. "You are more than worthy of the title of prince."

He glared at her, hands on his hips. "No."

"We would make many happy. My people deserve happiness."

"Your people are all dead too. I don't want to be a prince of dead people. Go ask Loki!"

"He is pretty but not one of our kind. Asgardians would horribly upset my people. You could lead our armies instead of the pretty slayers into battle. We have many battles coming soon because one wants to invade us." She sniffled a bit. "Our generals suggested I bring you home with me so you could lead us. Won't you come be our general?"

Xander yelped as a knife embedded itself in his calf, reaching down to take it out. The pointed hint about having backup helped and now he had a knife too. "I have responsibilities here and a battle in two weeks. I cannot come lead your people's battles. There's been many fine, expired generals. Pick one of them."

"None of them are as pretty or as strong as you."

"Go find a mythical Roman hero."

"They are some who are invading. We will not make peace that way," she said firmly. She stopped the next thing being thrown at Xander. "Do not interfere, Mortal."

Xander stepped between them. "Leave him alone." She stared at him then moaned and touched his cheek. He shivered and stepped back. "I would not do your people well. Bucky would if he was expired but I would not. I'm too wild, too dangerous, and not willing to sleep with someone who would suck at my essence each night. I'm not ready to die to lead your armies. Ask me when I am."

"We can hold them off that long." She looked at his friend. "He is pretty like you. He is stronger."

"He's also got a lot of training in how to fight."

"Hmm." She smiled at him. "Then perhaps I will visit him when he passes over. He would also make an excellent prince." She stared at him again. "Do calm yourself."

He snorted. "Every time you show up, bad things happen, Alara."

She snorted. "Plenty of bad things are already happening and yet you just wore yourself out. Perhaps it is your time, Xander."

"If so, you can still come get Bucky when it's his so I have someone to drink beer with and talk to." Her laugh was like wind through barren trees in the winter. He smiled. "If I'm going, so be it. Ask me as I pass over."

She tipped her head. "That could be any minute now. Are you certain?"

He nodded. "If it's today, it's today and the slayers are prepared for their future." A new mage appeared with a scream, trying to blast Xander with magic. Xander's pendant absorbed most of it. Xander shot him. "They do so love to underestimate me," he said in ancient Greek. She moaned and kissed him then floated back to go back home. He fell down, panting and holding his stomach. "Hurts less than when Willow did it. I need to purge this shit." He got up with help from Stark. "It's going to infect you. My shielding necklace can't hold it in." He walked over to the dead, formerly possessed animals and puked up the magic until it was all gone. Then he summoned a succuba. "Damn mage," he moaned. She squealed and came over to suck the rest out of him. He went limp, smiling at her. "Thank you, Darlene."

"We're always happy to nibble from you, Xander." She looked around then at him. "What happened?"

"The one who wanted the slayers, then Alara was here." She shivered and moaned. "Exactly." She kissed him hard then left. He fell to his knees.

Bucky walked over and hauled him up. "I'm glad you taught me what succuba were for."

"Succuba are for playing with and for letting them feed on the hellmouth taint," he said, smiling at him. "That was Alara. She's the crown princess of the realm of the dead." He leaned on Bucky as they walked off together. "You can come drink beers with me in the afterlife. We can have her pick up Steve when he finally goes too."

"I could like that. Better than some afterlives I've probably earned."

Xander looked at him. "Plenty of demons consider this a hell realm too."

Bucky patted him on the head. "I have no doubt, if only because we have pop music." He looked at Stark, who was shaking his head. "We're good. Can you burn it?"

"Gladly. Go home, you two goofy kids." Xander waved. Bucky hit their emergency leave-taking charms. Stark got to burn the other bodies while figuring things out. He went back to the tower, going right for a drink. Steve was staring at the tv. "That second one was Darlene, she's a succuba and apparently they can suck magic or magical taint or radiation out of one." Steve stared at him. "The first was Alara. Apparently she's the crown princess of a realm of the dead. They wanted Xander to be their king. He said you can be gathered by her too so you can come drink beer with them."

Steve blinked a few times. "They're really close," he said quietly.

"Bucky's not functioning yet," Stark shot back. "The succuba was pulling at me and not Barnes. He wasn't affected." Steve went limp, grimacing some. "Are you jealous they're friends?"

"No. Bucky needs friends, and he makes friends really easily. If anyone needs a guy like Bucky, Xander definitely does." He looked at Stark. "They look like we used to when we were younger."

"He'll come back, Capsicle. You and he have history. And a future." He walked off with his drink. Suzette was due home soon and she could make her father feel better.

***

Phil Coulson appeared at the slayer house that night, smiling at the guy who opened the door. "Mr. Rayne. Is Xander here?"

"I believe he's in Hawaii at his house."

"That's what I thought but I had hopes. Andrew."

"Hi, Agent Coulson. What's wrong?"

"I was going to talk to Xander about something."

"He's at the vacation home babying the bite from the thing earlier. I can get you there."

"Please. That's very kind of you, Andrew." Andrew sent him through the portal. He stared at his nephew. "Can we speak alone please, Barnes?"

"Nope," he said. "Xander's supposed to be staying quiet and laying down so the bite heals. The demonic healer said so."

"That's fine, I don't want or intend to upset him." Bucky stared at him. "Really, I'm not going to." Bucky got up and went to his room. Phil looked at him. "We need to talk about a few things that have come to my notice."

"What?" Xander asked. "The battle earlier? I was working off the foul mood I've been in for days."

"I saw that. And the hellmouth you created thanks to them trying to sell you."

"For parts."

"Yes, I found out why. Why didn't you come to me to get something to help that?"

"Because I trust your boss about as far as I can throw the helicarrier while I'm giving it a blowjob," Xander said bluntly.

"I wouldn't have told Fury. I haven't yet. The only reason we know now is that we took Willow from the others' custody. She babbled about why she had done that and how you were going to kill her." Xander nodded. "Why didn't you tell me that the higher beings hated you?"

"They made plans decades in advance," he said dryly, sitting up. He looked at his uncle. "They had plans that made no sense, had no good outcome, and they only care about keeping a balance. Hell yes they hate my ass for making sure humanity won." Phil stared at him. "They've tried a few other times. That near snatch attempt in London two months ago was one."

"I only heard about that after the fact. We need to set up anti-kidnaping things for you, Xander."

"No we don't. I get my own self out of things and I'm not owing your boss anything."

"I doubt he'd expect it." Xander snorted. "It's the smart thing to do. Others who are in control of major things have such plans in place."

"So do I. It's called I get myself free and move on with it. Half of them are ex's."

Phil sighed. "That's not really good enough. What if they knock you out?"

"Then the protections I wear will keep them from sucking out anything like the mermaid taint."

Phil sat down facing him. "There's ways to break those."

"Perhaps but I'm pretty sure I'll be awake by the time they get someone to break them."

"Not necessarily. You weren't in Libya." Xander glared. "It was dangerous and we could have helped you."

"I'm not aligning the Council with SHIELD. Ever. If I'm in trouble and you want to help me save myself, go for it. I'll accept help. I'm not going to link us and I'm not going to owe them a debt I can't repay."

"We could put someone in the armory for you so you have one less thing to worry about."

"Then I'd have to worry about who he was reporting to and what he was reporting. No thanks."

Phil nodded. "That's a big worry but your armory doesn't contain anything too huge. Why would we worry?"

Xander looked at him. "Nice try at taunting me to exposing things, Phil. Thankfully I've been around women who play mind games and teenage girls who are experts at it."

"I did not mean it that way."

"No, but you've probably heard about some of it. I know Stark was there and glanced in at least once."

"He didn't write a report. You guys may have some sort of doomsday device in case we need to shatter the hellmouth but we can still help."

Xander shook his head. "No. I'm not linking us to any agency. That brings strings that complicate and endanger our lives. Sorry."

"What happens if you die, Xander? Who's going to take over?"

"I have a will. I needed one because I have Anya's stuff."

"Her books, like ancient diaries? I know someone who'd like to read those."

"I'm sure they would. Giles arranged for them to go to a friend at the Natural History Museum in England on a loaner basis."

"That's a good thing." He stared at him. "You need more people. Let us help you find them."

"No. We may need more people but the ones who want to jump in usually don't have the right motives and the others are usually just a bad idea. We have people who'll follow us. One of the slayers is going to take over for me or I'll nominate Kate."

"Kate Bishop?" Xander nodded. "I wasn't aware you two were close."

"We are. She's like my younger, female self at times."

"That's something I'll have to watch for, her with a sword. Or your axe."

"My axe is too heavy for her but she's got a good hand with swords and other ancient weapons."

"I'll have to ask Hawkeye to test them to see." He stared at him. "The Council could fall apart any day now. Are the old liners really going to support whoever Giles puts in his place?"

"That would be me and we've already had a discussion." Phil gaped. Xander smirked a tiny bit. "And his cancer was a punishment curse by the Powers for upsetting their board. So thanks."

Phil slumped. "I didn't want to think about that." He stared at him. "I can still help you find others who are decent. Who want to help the girls because it's the right thing to do. Some with better training."

"None of the girls will trust anyone military unless one of us vouch for them, Phil. Not after they tried to raid the house and capture slayers. Not after the few in Africa were expedient and not protecting the people, including the baby slayers. Beyond that, military training is shitty for hunting. Ask Bucky."

"Yes it is," he called from his room. "Covert ops is a better training ground because of all the hunting."

Phil blinked at him. "Does Captain Rogers know you two are together?"

"We're not together. We're friends and I've been helping him heal. He's been helping me handle stuff. Really, if he doesn't want to end up an avenger, I'm all for making him a senior council person."

Bucky came out to stare at him. "No." He went back to his room. "I'd up training and make the girls suffer daily PT and training times."

"They have those at school. It's the special slayer gym class."

"I'd have them doing it at home too. They could use it. Especially with all the squealing about the upcoming battle in South America and the girls volunteering to go so they can wear bikinis."

"Tell them they need to tone it before then and sign my name. We don't want them to have to pout at the press again." He looked at Phil. "We actually sat down and figured things out after I told Giles he was sick. We're not stupid, Phil. We're just pretty easy going at this time about most things."

Phil nodded. "I can see that. If I have someone you could use, would you at least interview them? I have two agents who'd like to help the slayers. They've both talked to Hill, who has discouraged them, and they do want to help."

"I'll interview the next time I'm up there." Phil nodded, standing up. "Other problems?"

"What are you going to do about your blood problem?"

"Not a damn thing. We're working on protections so they can't do anything with it."

Phil nodded once. "There's a little patch."

"I know, and I'd probably be unconscious until they realized they can cut me and I'll bleed some but they can't use a needle while I'm unconscious."

Phil nodded once. "That's a good idea. I do worry, Xander."

Xander stared at him. "Did you worry when I had to stake Jesse?" he asked quietly. "Or when I was hunting? Or even when I ran into a few agents while I was stripping on my supposed road trip?"

"I worried about you but you'd never let me help you."

"That's because you and Buffy see me the same way, too normal to help."

"I..."

Xander held up a hand to stop him. "I heard plenty of 'let me get you *real* training' lectures, Phil. I learned on the job and I got one hell of a bit of training because of it. Beyond that, you've never seen my duty as just as much of one as you have. I do what I do for the same reason you do what you do, even though you hate us for it because demons make you feel wiggy."

"I was hoping the training would help you be safer, Xander."

"There's no such thing as safe in hunting. We're fighting against bigger, stronger, and/or faster things that think we're food or toys. At least your enemies consider you a worthy opponent at times."

Phil stared at him. "You could retire from field work."

"Then I'd have to do paperwork all day. I'm only twenty-six. The day'll come when I'm not fast enough or not good enough. Then I'll retire if I live."

"Do the girls need to see that happen?"

"They see it happen to their sister slayers," he said quietly. "They always have." Phil slumped but nodded. "Half of them consider me too normal to do anything too. I have to keep proving myself worthy."

"You could try Thor's hammer. It will allow the worthy to pick it up."

"Anything Asgardian won't let me near it thanks to a blessing Anya put on me before the prom so her specially charged necklace wouldn't infect me and kill me."

"Do I even know half of what you've done?"

"Probably not but that was mostly your choice, Phil." He shrugged and laid back down. "You didn't come back to visit. You didn't want to know when I could've used you as a mentor back when I first started to hunt. When I needed to know how to block hits and all that. You didn't want to know when agents ran into me stripping to fix the car. By the way, saw the notes you put in my file about watching me for bad examples to start."

"I thought you were turning into Tony, Xander."

"I wasn't drinking. Back then I didn't drink. I didn't have a single drink until I had one with Oz before he left for good." Phil grimaced but nodded. "You could have been a role model and you weren't. If I leave any kids behind you can try again."

"You have children?"

"No. I had one but they died." Phil slumped further, nodding. "You have your normal guy life and I don't begrudge you that. You're comfy in it. My life is hard for anyone to live in, even those of us who jump into it. I'm not expecting you to suddenly change and deal with all this. I don't expect anyone to."

"You could find a long term lover."

"I could and I've had a few I considered it with. And then a battle happened and scared one of them off and the other nearly died. She retired and left me her weapons so I could stop the next one. Which we did and the girls wrote her thank you letters for the weapons."

Phil nodded. "I'd like to be closer to you. Over the last year and a bit I've had a lot of heavy thoughts."

"We heard you kinda died."

"I did die. Fury brought me back." He stared at him. "I'd like to establish some sort of familial relationship."

"Then show up for beers, Phil."

"I can do that." He left, going down the driveway while calling a cab. He had a lot to think about with Xander and it wasn't pretty. There were many points he could've made a difference and didn't. He looked back up there then up the street when the cab pulled up. "Airport please." He handed over a larger bill and leaned back. At least Xander had Barnes helping and supporting him now. He wasn't alone and he wasn't a one-man fighting squad. Maybe he should design Xander's new uniform for battles the way he had Captain Rogers'. He could probably use the body armor.

Bucky came out to look at him. "I think he wanted to try to be a relative."

"He hates demons. It doesn't fit into his little cubbyholes of life," he said, staring at him. "He's never liked me actually. The first time he showed up was the only time. That showed me all I needed to know and having him in this life won't protect him. At least he's slightly protected by SHIELD."

Bucky nodded. "He probably is." He sat down. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. If he wants to suddenly be an uncle, he can come talk. He can show up to have a beer or a soda."

"Leaving it up to him means that he can freak out and come back when he's ready." Xander nodded. "At least you have a relative left."

"Kind of." He shrugged and shifted to get comfortable. "I don't like his version of the 'you're normal' speech either."

"I don't blame you. It's a sucky tune to dance to." He stood up. "You good?"

"I'm fine. Go to the bar like you planned." Bucky nodded, going to put on a better shirt and leave him to his moping. Bucky needed to get back into the swing of things and be around more people so he could adapt. If not, he'd go kidnap Sam Wilson again so they could talk some more. Xander got comfortable and surfed the web on his phone. The quiet was nice sometimes.

***

Steve walked into his room the night before the battle near New York and paused since someone was sitting on his bed drinking a beer. "I've turned into you," he said. "Before the serum you. Women think I'm only there for pity. No dames like me. Even if they don't see the arm they think I'm pathetic."

"I get that sometimes because I don't understand how things work in the modern clubs. It's not like the ones we went to."

Bucky nodded. "No, it's not. Though I dance okay still." Steve grinned. "The sprout?"

"With Darcy. That way she doesn't get to see the battle tomorrow."

"That's good." He finished the beer and tossed the bottle out. "How're you?"

"I'm okay I guess. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing better."

"More memories?" Bucky shook his head. "That's fine. They could come out sometime."

"Sam said I probably have some triggers I haven't found yet. I still have no idea why a certain type of demon slime prompted some." He looked at Steve. "Kate said you've been moping."

"I haven't. I've been worried about you. And Xander because then I'd have to explain how bad things happened to him to Suzette."

Bucky nodded. "They do try to keep it away from the minis." He leaned back on his elbows, staring at Steve. "Don't even consider this a flirt."

"Still having problems?"

"Some." Steve moved closer to sit against the headboard so Bucky could flip over and look at him. "I'm mostly okay. Not a whole lot to do for the last few days but baby Xander's bite."

"Does that mean he won't be at the battle?"

Bucky snorted. "He could be on crutches and be at the battle, Steve. He's a lot like you."

"I hear you two are a lot alike."

"Sometimes but he was the one the bullies picked on and he's the one that jumped in because one little girl shouldn't have to do it on her own." He stared at him. "Then they took a friend. Sounds like why you went AWOL back then." He smiled.

"It was, yeah. I guess I can understand that. I respect Xander."

"Do you like him?"

"I don't know him well enough to know. He pops up, talks to Suzette, gives information, and then leaves. He's nice enough, a swell guy, but I don't know him."

"I only know some."

"You've been with him over a year. He doesn't talk?"

"He does, just not real deeply. He doesn't share as they put it these days." Steve nodded he understood that saying. Bucky shifted. "How are you really doing?"

"I'm okay. Tiny bit frustrated with Stark and Banner today. They've been trying to prank each other all day today. The rest of us got hit with one." Bucky grinned. "I had to clean off non-toxic paintballs."

"I've used toxic ones. Xander has some that work against a tunneling demon species in Africa that gets annoying because they like to sink towns."

Steve shook his head. "Okay then." Bucky smirked a tiny bit. "Are you and Xander good together?"

"We're not *together*."

"You sound like it."

"Nah I... I don't... I feel like he's like you only when we were sixteen if that makes sense. We're friends. We can talk. I'm still trying to find him someone non-lethal to date. It'll cure the recent moping."

"Moping?"

"He's been doing this now for ten years, Steve."

"Ow." Bucky nodded. "That's a long time to be fighting a war."

"It is. Especially when you know you've got a huge target on your back." He shifted again.

"Have you talked to Sam recently?" Steve asked.

"Last week. I call about every Sunday right now." Steve nodded. "You?"

"He and I talk every Wednesday." He grinned. "He's good and he helps me with girl problems I don't understand and Natasha is afraid of."

"She didn't get a chance to be a little girl."

"Suzette's really smart. This last one was a fight with her teacher about why girls couldn't wear cornrows. The teacher told her it wasn't a traditional hairstyle so it wasn't allowed. She wrote Xander an email and he sent back pictures for her to show off. The teacher wasn't that impressed at her smartass moment of the week. Especially since she led the girls in the class to hair braid during recess so they all came in with cornrows started."

"The teacher called you in for that?"

"To talk about her smartass moments. The last one was concerned she was too bouncy but tried to get me to change her healthy diet."

Bucky shook his head. "Some people are like that. She okay otherwise?"

"Usually." He looked over at the shadow moving under the door, tracking her by sound. "Bathroom," he muttered. Then she ran in and pounced them, snuggling in between them. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

She grinned. "I came to say hi to Uncle Bucky and to give him a hug. He needs a hug." She cuddled him. Bucky smirked at her. She grinned back. "No school tomorrow because there's a battle. So I get to stay with Auntie Darcy all day long and learn new girl stuff from her and we'll skype Auntie Peggy so we can chat too. Did you know her, Uncle Bucky?"

"A little bit. We worked together sometimes."

"That's sweet." She kissed him on the cheek. "Just like you are." She snuggled in against his metal shoulder and quickly fell asleep again.

"You have one hell of a girl, Stevie," he said quietly.

"We, Bucky. You're family to her too." He looked at her. "Want me to move her?" Bucky shook his head but you could tell he wasn't comfortable with the cuddling. Steve carefully lifted her and took her back to her bed to tuck her in again then he came back. Bucky was on his back staring at the ceiling. "Did JARVIS spook you?" He closed the door.

"Nah, Andrew's computer likes to flirt with me whenever he's making tea."

"Tea? You drink tea?"

He looked at his oldest friend. "Russians drink more tea than coffee."

"I did not know that." He sat down again, then shifted to lay facing him. "How are you really, Buck?"

"Decent. Not fully great but I'm getting there." Steve smiled. "You?"

"Just tired recently. Hill and Fury. Stark designing new things that explode. Extra training time."

"It's the Council's busy season."

"I bet. We heard spring was but I'm guessing there's a few each fall."

"Fall is more for magical problems. Spring is for move making or overthrowing ones." He shrugged. "Xander threatened to give me an official position."

"You do good with the girls."

"I'm not easy with them like he is. I'm harsher, and I expect more."

"Which means they'll be safer. Some girls need the harsher touch to find the reality."

Bucky nodded. "I've seen a few. They're Kennedy's slayers though. She was a princess too."

"I guess some girls do want the fairy tale."

"No, the rich girl princess sort."

"Oh, them. That explains why they don't like her or talk about her."

"She tried to have Xander killed for being a normal guy who was doing the same thing and being friends with her girlfriend Willow."

"Isn't that about what Willow did to him because you two were friends?"

"Yup. I still want to beat her ass. It's making Xander even more pitiful because any of his lovers could want to take that price out. It means he doesn't date."

"We heard about succuba."

"They're for eating taint and magic."

"Oh."

"Though a few are pretty enough when they're human looking. One's really good at dancing. We did that while one ate a bunch of the hellmouth taint off Xander a few months back."

"That sounds dangerous. Were you safe?"

"Yeah. They can't feed off me right now." He grimaced, giving him a look. Steve leaned closer. "Don't." Steve sat back again. "Thanks," he said more quietly.

"It's okay. A lot of people have no touching things these days."

Bucky nodded. "Especially women in bars. It was easier back then."

Steve shrugged. "I couldn't pick up a dame even if I'd had a car." Bucky grinned at him. "And now they don't like me for me. I don't think I could like anyone who wouldn't like who I was before."

"That would be nice but I'm not the guy I was before."

"There's still some of you in there under all that mess they did to you, Bucky," Steve said quietly. "When you were...that way some of you still showed through or I wouldn't have been able to jog your memory."

"Xander called me their attack dog."

"Kinda, yeah," he agreed, smiling at him. Bucky smirked back but shook his head. "If you wanna talk about it, I'm here."

"I know. Thanks, punk."

"Welcome, jerk." He punched him on the metal arm. "It's not shiny."

"I put some oil on it to take off the sheen. That way it's less noticeable sometimes." Steve stared at him. "I did it on sniper missions too."

"That makes sense. You don't want a twinkling to show where you are."

"Too true." Someone knocked and leaned in. "Hey, Barton."

"Natasha said that the battle may have been moved up. She was talking to Hill about last minute slayer changes."

"We'll be there," Steve said. "Has anyone told Xander?"

"I'd hope the girls would but I doubt it," Bucky admitted, taking out his phone to do that. He got back a time. "He thinks about one but I'm not sure of his source."

"Okay." Clint closed the door and went to tell the others that.

Bucky stood up. "I should hit the hotel. I'm helping keep the girls in line."

"You want the couch instead?" he offered with a grin.

"The girls sometimes listen to me," he said dryly, giving him a slight grin. "Sometimes." He left out the window and disappeared.

Steve got up to shut it and then take a shower and get ready for bed. It was good seeing Bucky getting closer to his old self.

***

During the battle, Steve got clawed, like everyone else was. Bucky shot the demon attacking him. The witches stepped up their game. The slayers got tagged out with a fresh team and Xander, who had been here since last night, was limping hard thanks to a few good clawings. He was still managing to swing the sword he held. He looked exhausted though. Stark flew back from his lab with something, using it to dissolve the demons. The slayers cheered and pounced him for a hug once they were all gone.

Bucky hurried down to Steve's side, helping him sit up. "Hey, you okay?"

"Nope," he said, wincing some. "Damn that hurt. Do they have a poison or anything?"

"No, just sharp and pointies," Buffy quipped. "We even think they cleaned their claws to make a good impression when they came to visit us today." She got led off because she had a few good claw marks on her arms. She slid onto the seat with a sigh. She looked at Faith. "I'm going back on vacation."

"Go for it, B. You could use one."

"I'm so damn tired," she said quietly.

Xander limped over, tipping her face up. "You're a slayer like all the others. If you want to go on no-patrol status, do it. Because you're still not allowed to die, even in a battle."

"I know, Xander."

"What's the first rule?"

"Slayers don't have permission to die. It's never a good day," Buffy said. Xander nodded. "Can you post me somewhere I can wear a bikini?"

"They all have huge problems right now. I can send you to Kuwait."

"Eww, no. Thanks." She smiled.

"Germany?"

"Sure, I can go have beers with the girls. Maybe this time I won't turn caveslayer." She got helped up by him. So did Faith. "Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome. It's what I do." She nodded, letting the paramedics lead her off. Faith patted Xander on the arm, but he held in the wince until they couldn't see it. He turned to find his favorite protege staring at him. "Hey. Cute outfit. It nicely replaces the purple jumpsuit and even is a bit comic book heroine with the flash of belly."

"Why did I hear recruitment rumors, Xander?"

He shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets. They were shaking from a desperate need to eat. "You might've heard heir rumors. If I die, I'm leaving you all Anya's stuff so you can go embarrass someone else with her sex toys."

She punched him on the arm, making him wince. "Sorry." She checked the arm then looked at him. "I don't want it and you'd better not die."

"I live by the first rule, the same as you do." He looked around. Bucky was hovering over Steve. That was good to see. He looked at her. "Barton's injured, go handle him for Romanoff. She's too tired to nag him herself." She nodded, walking over to help Clint up. He had started out with his bow but had to join the fray to save a few of the girls being cut off from the rest. Xander looked at Bucky and walked off. He was good enough to stay. He didn't need him. Which was depressing but Xander hadn't expected him to stay forever.

***

Xander woke up a few mornings later with a wince, holding his injured side. He had done the stitches, they were clean, he didn't have an infection, but he ached like fuck in them this morning. It felt like something was trying to climb out of his body. He stood up and wobbled a bit but went to the bathroom to check them. No blood or any infection. So he had probably gotten energetic in his sleep. He covered the injuries and took a shower, coming out to find a sullen looking Bucky on the couch. "I thought you'd be staying up there."

"Shut up, Xander. I'm not abandoning you."

"Never said you were. A lifetime's friendship is going to pull you more than ours." He looked at him. "I don't mind if you go hang out with Steve."

"Shut up anyway." Xander sighed, heading for the fridge. "I made coffee."

"Thanks." He found his cup to drink some, leaning against the counter in there. Bucky stared at him until he walked out there. "I'm fine."

"You were barely moving by the end of the battle. No one seemed to realize that until the post-mission look at the action. Then Stark caught it."

"You act like that's really unusual." He took another drink and put the cup down. He felt the feeling of a vision coming and sighed. "Get my tape recorder please?" Bucky got up to get it, nearly stomping off. Xander winced as it started, reaching out blindly until Bucky put it into his hand. He described it and it was bad. Someone was going to attack Giles' funeral. That sucked since he wasn't allowed to die. Xander finally calmed himself afterward and dropped the tape recorder when his hand went numb.

"Want your special tea?" Bucky said quietly in his ear. Xander shook his head, sliding sideways. Bucky put him onto the couch so he could curl up. He tossed the tape recorder at Andrew on his way to get the vision kit from the kitchen. He had learned what was in it and how to use it when Xander had a massive vision on their trip in Africa that had left him blind for three days. Andrew rewound it and listened, grimacing. "He's crashing hard." He walked off, going back over there. He heard a thump and looked back, going back to get Steve to bring him. "He just had a vision."

"Those have to suck," he said quietly. "Can I help?"

"Put on some water to warm up later. He's got some special herb tea that can help." Steve nodded, going to pour water into the electric kettle. Bucky let Xander hide under a blanket then he looked at him. "What's up?"

"You snuck off. I was wondering if you were okay."

"Tracking the most stubborn prey ever." He pointed at the bundle of blanket. "No one noticed he was shaking and injured afterward." Xander punched him on the thigh. "Keep it up," he said with an evil smirk. "I will bring you back to the Council house and let the girls fuss." Xander moaned. "I thought so." He walked into the kitchen. "Kate said she hadn't gotten to check on him after he diverted her to take care of Barton's injuries. That usually means he's toughing out something serious that he doesn't want to let people know about because they'll think he's weak again and they'll try to marginalize him."

"He does a lot of stuff. Coulson said that they don't have a lot of people to do what he does."

"Bucky and Kate are my lieutenants until they leave or I die," Xander said. "Deal with it. It even comes with a paycheck."

"Didn't I say no?" Bucky asked the mass of blanket.

"You or Heins in the research portion."

"Hell no," he growled. "He was telling the girls how glorious the old ways were with the old slayers raised by them. That they were more gifted back then because they had focus on the duty."

Xander uncovered his head to stare at him, eyes bloodshot. "He's the highest of the old liners. The others aren't much better and the Powers sent back Spike to help us." He grinned at him. "You can not accept and stick Kate with it."

"She'll kill you."

"Yup." He covered his head again. "I'm fine, go angst at Steve somewhere else, Bucky."

"Shut up. You don't get to make that decision on your own because you don't take good care of yourself."

Xander snorted. "I'm doing just fine. All my stitches are clean and I did a great job on them." He muttered and disappeared.

"Fuck," Bucky said, checking the bedroom. "Andrew probably can't find him. He can't track him at all." He put out a call among the slayers, including that he just had a bad vision. They said he went to hide a few places that no one else could get into. One sent him pictures and one had a map to one of them. "When he said he'd start an evil empire, I didn't think he meant a mountain fortress," he complained. He looked at Steve. "See what I deal with?"

"Are you going to take the job?"

"For now. Until I can beat his ass in person." Steve smirked at him. "Someone's got to watch over the girls. Half of them have no sense. A few volunteered for a battle so they could be near the beach and have bikinis."

"For some reason I can hear all the guys on the squad yelling about that." He tipped his head and looked up then at him.

"I suggested we do a seance with them so they could go kick the Powers That Be around for us." They shared a look. "I'm apparently heading to Africa again."

"Want help?"

"You have to be there for the kid."

"I can do short missions."

"I doubt this'll be under a week. Getting there may be a week. Then up the mountain."

"Jump in?"

"I've never done that. Trained but never did any."

Steve smiled. "I'm really good at it. Natasha and my team did a number of drops."

"Sure, teach me how to parachute, Steve." They packed up some stuff and went back to the Council house to tell Andrew, who sighed but nodded. "You knew he had me on the payroll?"

"Since you decided to help him with stuff." He found something on his computer, showing him. "It's where your check automatically goes. Including reimbursements you've handed in."

"Xander paid for everything."

"He does the reimbursement paperwork so he knows he gets repaid." Bucky walked off shaking his head. "You might look in your armory chest, Bucky. I think he had something put in there for you."

Bucky looked at him. "My old armor's in my closet."

Andrew grinned. "Coulson hit again. He did Kate's new uniform too."

"She looked good, and a bit older than she is," Steve said. "I don't understand the bare stomach thing but the black was a lot more subtle than the purple jumpsuit." Andrew held up his current comic book. "You can't fight in that, Andrew."

"It's the ideal." He smiled. "Kate can pull it off and there's an invisible mesh body armor panel there."

Steve just nodded. "Wow. Coulson got fancier than he did with mine." He followed Bucky into the armory. "Why do you have a henhouse in here?"

"It's got thermal grenades. It's temperature controlled."

Steve looked at him. "What?"

"It's temperature controlled so the thermal grenades don't get too warm in here," Bucky said, looking up at him. "Xander did it. He calls them his little eggs."

"Oh. Okay." Sure, he wasn't going to comment on the weird Xander thing with weapons if Bucky didn't. Bucky got his trunk open and stared at the stuff inside. "Wow."

He pulled out the vest to look at. "Like my old one but lighter body armor. Nice." Pants. Trench coat if he wanted it for cold things. New holsters that had been in the latest magazine, knife and gun ones. New boots too. "Wow, I think this was my birthday present. 'Drew?"

He leaned in and smiled. "Bought with some of the HYDRA money and it's a 'yay you survived your first apocalypse battle' present. The girls all get their first official weapons after their first real battle. Before then they grab and go." He smiled. "I did the measurements from your old uniform."

"Thanks, 'Drew." He stood up. "Let me get dressed." Andrew winked at Steve and left.

"What did he get you for your last birthday?"

"Drunk because the thing that was a big ball of arms kept trying to grope me. It wanted sperm." Steve shuddered. "I was real appreciative of that present." He stripped down and got redressed, feeling the snug feeling of new pants. Light kevlar and leather. Very handy. Nicer than his old uniform. Lighter too. He sild into the vest and started to arm up. Pretty weapons all down his back and sides. Sword resting between smaller automatic assault weapons. Knife and pistol holsters on each side of his lower back so he could grab them easily. Double thigh holsters for a gun and knife on each side. Another knife holder down closer to his knees. A knife holster in each boot top. He actually needed another knife. He smiled at himself in the shiny front of another cabinet, putting on the sunglasses that had been his since his first day in Africa. "I'll thank him after I beat him later." He walked out, Steve following. Andrew held up something. "What's that?"

"The traveling expenses debit card." He looked him over. "If I didn't like my cooking partner and future warrior women, I'd be drooling, Bucky. You've reached Faith's level of *damn*."

Bucky smirked. "Thanks, Andrew. Let me go rescue the stubborn thing. Any idea where he might be besides the fortress in Africa?"

"I'd personally do a money search on him." He smiled. "One of his ex's left him the fortress."

"Crap." He walked off.

"We can do it at the tower, Bucky," Steve said. "I can ask Fury to get us to wherever he is."

Bucky nodded. "I can do that. Later, 'Drew. Watch our stuff."

"Of course I will. Have fun storming the castles, boys." He smiled and waved. He saved down a security footage capture for Kate and a few of his favorite girls. Kate didn't answer so she must be in class.

***

"We need to stop and ship the weapons," Steve said.

Bucky shook his head, smirking at him. "No I don't." He walked up to one of the TSA people. "I'm Council going on assignment." He pulled out the ID's Xander had gotten him.

"Let me get the forms, sir. Which airport?"

"New York first to help with an issue then I'll leave from there." The agent nodded, getting the forms and a large box. They put down all of his weapons, and Steve's when he realized who he was. It had to be something huge to have both Council and Avengers working on it. They carefully packed everything, even the first aid kit that had needles and the bottles of potions or poisons, no one was going to ask what they were. "Security office on that side?"

"Yes, sir." He wrote the plane and pertinent information, then looked at him once it was all signed off by both of them. "I'll escort it to the plane for you, sir." Bucky nodded and stepped into the machine. It whined. "We can hand wand you because of your prosthetic, sir." Bucky smiled and let Steve be x-rayed while he got hand-wanded. The curious beep near his crotch got a look but no one said anything about a piercing. Council people did insane things, a dick piercing probably made them feel more normal. No one had to know it was actually a hidden mini blade.

***

Kate tipped her head when Steve and Bucky came off the elevator. "Dayam." Bucky gave her a smug look. "Different from your off-duty look of dark jeans and a beaten up t-shirt with the leather jacket and boots. Body armor does a body good, Bucky. Huge issue?"

"An escaping Xander because I was fussing at his injuries."

"Oh, okay. I'd do a money search. He had an ex leave him some fort in the mountains or something."

"We're going to do that then go get him," Steve said.

"Want help?" Clint asked.

"We're going to do a drop into the area if we can," Steve said. "Is Natasha here?"

"Being nagged by Fury."

"Stark?"

"Where he usually is but Darcy's trying to get him to eat lunch."

They went down to the lab. Darcy stared, mouth open. "Wow. I didn't know asses were a lethal weapon before," she said, sounding weak. She fanned herself with her hand. "Sorry, I'm Darcy Lewis, scientist wrangler." She smiled and held out a hand.

"Bucky Barnes." She stared at him, mouth open. "Usually Steve gets that look."

"He's got a great ass but yours is holy in those pants."

He grinned. "Thanks, Darcy. Stark, we need to find Xander. He ran from me looking at his injuries."

"Any idea where in the world he is?" he asked, turning to his computer. "Lewis, did Pepper actually give you that picture?"

"Yup. She said you could have it if you cleaned the plate too. It was from a drunken girls night out apparently." He finished up and pried the plastic covered picture of Pepper in a Penthouse pose off the plate to tuck into his stuff. She walked off. "Guys, let me know if you need to take stuff with you from the kitchen. I've got to pry Jane off Thor's abs later for dinner." She left to have a few quiet moments in her room. Because, she'd happily sign demonic deals for her soul for a few days of being between those two.

Stark shook his head. "She's dateless again. Her last one was a horrible poet who was also an advertising guy without any sense or class. He ordered a wine that had a screw top at a four star restaurant and got them kicked out."

"Everyone's gotta have dreams," Bucky quipped. Stark shot him a smirk. He showed Stark what they knew from the slayers. They found him easily enough, he was sleeping beside the pool at one of them. Steve asked for a favor from Nick Fury and they were airborn a few hours later. Jumping into the site wasn't so hard. Steve was joking about not using a parachute at all for water landings. So now he had two he needed to knock some sense into. Though, it was a long, hard battle in Steve's case. They climbed the walls of the small house in the middle of nowhere. No one outside. No lights on inside. They snuck in and down to the auxiliary shelters. Xander knew to protect himself if he was alone. Yup, there he was.

Bucky knocked him out when he started to wake up. They checked, the house had nothing stocked. The two mile long underground tunnel to the nearest village had a golf cart but that probably wasn't going to work for them. Too far and too slow if they needed medical help for Xander's healing injuries. At least their super soldier formula helped heal them faster. Xander had to do it the slow way. There weren't any anti-magic protections either. Bucky checked the local areas for better hideouts. There was one not even thirty miles away. Steve was browsing the stuff left in the office. She had been a local supplier of food stuffs, prostitutes, and drugs to the former HYDRA science base. Bucky shook his head at that file. "He's had some real winning girlfriends." He picked Xander up. "Let's hit that base. It's got have medical stuff leftover."

"Sure, what if it's got people? We can't clear a whole base."

Bucky shrugged. "I need to talk to some of them anyway. You watch Xander." He walked off with Xander over his shoulder.

Steve watched him walk then shook his head. That was different but it was pretty nice that they weren't counting on him to do all the fighting.

***

Bucky walked into the lab area. "Honey, I'm home." He shot everyone in there in the stomach while ignoring the fact that Xander had seriously warped him somehow. He sneered at one. "You lived."

"Soldier! You escaped!"

"Yup, sure did." He smirked. "We're going to ask you a few questions while my buddy checks my other buddy into the medical unit for his injuries." He stared at them all. They were huddled against the equipment. He hauled up the one he remembered. "You have one chance. There's two boys who got shipped from a lab near the Black Sea to a special training academy. There had been three. Where are they?" He pointed the gun in his hand at him.

"It's a former Bolshevik military academy for privileged boys who want to make General status," he stuttered. "I don't know where it is."

"Is it in the system?" He shook his head. "I want everything to do with them. It seems they made me a son," he said with an evil smirk. The scientist whined and tried to shrink away from him. "Now." Another one moved to pull that up for him. "Good boy. I'll kill you quickly." He looked back to find Steve staring at him from the doorway. "Do you disagree with that plan?"

"Us capturing Zola meant that the US gave him a work permit to be a scientist. That's how HYDRA infiltrated SHIELD. Leave some for Hill to question." He walked off. "Xander's got an internal infection in one of his injuries."

"Great." He looked at the others again. The papers were put in front of him and that scientist ran back to his corner. "Now, where's my files?" They moaned and tried to help him.

***

Bucky came back from seriously injuring everyone so they were paralyzed to find Hill there demanding answers. "The last time I knew you couldn't demand to not be given something in someone's will, ma'am." She stared at him. "Xander has no control of what his ex's do unless he's with them at that time. So step off as Faith says."

"You're Barnes," she said. He nodded. "Are you here protecting them?"

"No, getting information. They're all nicely begging you to save them from being able to speak but nothing else." He smirked. "We've been looking for a few files they had hidden." He handed them to Steve. "It's an old private academy."

"Yours?"

"Not accessible from here. They told me where though. They were very helpful." Hill stomped off in the direction Bucky had come from. "Have fun with them. Xander's injury?"

"Better. The doc I left awake cleaned it up for him and I kept her from drawing any blood." He nodded at Fury when he stomped in. "An ex gave Xander a house near here. It didn't have a medical bay."

"When was he injured?"

"At the battle in Brooklyn," Steve said. "He let everyone else be treated and never said anything so no one noticed."

"He never goes to medical if he can help it," Bucky said. "He's real good at doing his own stitches." The doctor looked at him. "Learned as a kid." She made a whining noise. Bucky stared at her. "Why are you here?"

"They have my sister." She looked at him. "I recognize the arm. There's rumors about you."

Bucky nodded. "I got saved." He pointed at Xander.

"Then perhaps he can save me and my sister from all this." She looked at Fury.

"We'll see." He looked at Steve. "Now what?"

"Now we get Xander somewhere safer to recover."

Bucky spun when a demon walked out of the corner's shadow. "Chill, Barnes. I'm a messenger from D'Hoffryn. The PTB are fighting against a heavy handed wish from Willow. She was trying to atone and fix things so she wished him and Giles healed and permanently not injured."

"Fuck," Bucky said, staring at her.

"They're fighting him being immortal. Faster healing they might allow but not immortality."

"He wouldn't want that. What's going on with Giles?"

"The cancer's gone but it left damage. He's going in to surgery and may have to have a good chunk removed." Bucky nodded once. "They're going to handicap Xander somehow."

"He's already got one," Steve said.

"Don't remind them, they'll blind his other eye," she said. She stared at Barnes. "We need an idea."

"Have them give him serotype-S smallpox," he said. "It's an ancient strain." Her eyes went wide. "Damaging possibly. Treatments may not work." Her mouth fell open. "He can live through it."

She swallowed. "That's nearly evil, Barnes." She looked up then nodded. "D'Hoffryn has agreed since it would probably waste his limbs and make him too weak to fight. Which other demons would enjoy." She walked over and touched him, making Xander glow. She stared. "He's had.... oh." She looked at him. He smirked and pointed at the doctor. "The wish has been cast." She disappeared to hiss in her Lord and Master's ear. They had not known he had already had that strain. It would make him ill but not fatally or critically ill. Even if they changed the strain his body could fight it off better. Especially since Barnes was giving his blood to the hunter.

***

Xander woke up, holding his head. He blinked, looking at the room. Then at the silent man staring at him from the corner. "Hey."

"Hey." Bucky leaned forward. "Want the bad news or the good news?"

"Bad. Get the shock out of the way."

"Willow made a wish." Xander moaned and thumped his head on the bed. "The Powers That Be fought against it hard." Xander stared at him. "Very hard. She wanted you and Giles to be permanently healed."

"Fuck," he moaned. "Oh no."

"They fought against it enough that you've now got some faster healing, you had another bout of smallpox, and you're okay now probably." Xander went limp, staring at him. "The better news is that Giles is pissed off that he's got to wear a colostomy bag again but he's getting up and slowly working his way back to health." Xander smiled and nodded. "The really bad news is that some of the girls heard about Willow's wish and threw a fit, including Buffy."

"Of course. Am I unemployed?"

"Nope. I sent Steve to go talk to Buffy while you rested." He stood up to come over. "You'll be fine."

"Of course I will. Then you can go do Bucky things."

"I'm pretty sure you hired me to take some of your job, Xander. I'm not becoming an Avenger. If Steve falls maybe but not yet." Xander nodded. "We've put it on the bulletin board for the girls so they quit worrying about you being tainted."

"How much faster?"

"About a tenth of what a slayer gets."

Xander nodded. "That's cool." He yawned. "Any other bad news?"

"If you don't get better, Kate's doing your watching tomorrow." He smirked meanly. "She wanted a turn." He handed him a bottle of water to drink.

"Shoot me?"

"Nope. Then I'd have to take over all your jobs. Kids still creep me out."

"Did we find out anything more?"

"Very little. Still no firm location." Xander nodded. "We found out yours was taken from the transport by a demon. He only wanted yours to take out."

"Probably so he could have his own battle, or to get back at us," he sighed. "Others know?"

"Nope."

"Thank you."

"Welcome. Drink." Xander drank the water and slid back down. "Rest. You'll be here for a few more days." He walked off. "I'm making soup."

"No thanks."

"Spike finally came into the open," he said. "He said the Powers sent him back to take some of your job too."

"I can't really see him helping the minis," Xander said sarcastically. "Tormenting and terrorizing maybe but not helping."

"He works well with Kennedy's girls. They're all scared to death of him so they're making it to practice." Bucky came back with lunch for himself. "You sure you don't want soup?"

"I'm good." He looked around. "Where are we?"

"Steve's off-duty place."

"You put me in your boyfriend's bed?" Bucky choked, shaking his head. "He is."

"He's not."

"Bucky, he is." He stared at him. "That's one reason why I gave you room." Bucky glared at him. "Think about it. If you saw him in those tight pants you like to wear shirtless when you spend all day on the porch, and just that, what would you do?" Bucky let out a tiny moan because he could see that. Xander grinned and pointed. "I think you're eligible for succuba taunting again."

Bucky looked at himself then at Xander. "I... that's not who I am."

"You never know, maybe they put in 'fuck him' thoughts when they took out the others."

"Not cute," he warned.

Xander grinned. "I could've cited magic. What color are his jeans?"

"Faded," he sighed. "Just this side of too tight." He slumped and gulped his soup then tore into his sandwich. "Won't happen. Can't happen. He's not..."

"Because he didn't break huge military laws to come rescue you?" Bucky stared at him. "That rescue is pure romance novel. It's been used in a number of them to show a proof of love."

"I'm not some ditzy heroine."

"No, but it doesn't take a ditz to need saved."

Bucky shut off those thoughts. "Still won't happen. Steve's not like that. He's just merry."

"I'm so proud I got you into Mel Brooks movies." He grinned. "Think he's got an Everlast?"

"Damn I hope not. I hate keys," Bucky muttered. "Just stop it." He walked off and called Kate to spell him. He needed some air. He went up to the roof to think and be alone. Kate landed behind him. "He's in a dirty minded mood."

"He clue you in to the epic not-exactly-a-bromance of the ages?" she quipped with a grin. "Three of the guys in your unit's journals all state that they thought you two were moving that way. They said they'd be totally cool with it if it did happen. They're in the private part of the Smithsonian's collection but they had them out during gay pride week without saying who they were about. I noticed one's name." She smiled. "So yeah, apparently you were getting it hot and heavy from the tight ass of the ages."

"Darcy said mine's hotter," he growled back, glaring at her.

She grinned. "Depends on the pants." She looked at his current pair and nodded. "Tight but not showy." She went down to harass/coddle Xander. He was trying to sneak out so she got to use that new hip throw Clint had taught her to put him back onto the bed. "Nope. All mine now," she said with an evil grin.

"You're not bad girl enough for me, Kate."

"Thank God." She settled beside him on the bed to check his injuries.

"Aren't I contagious?"

"Last week."

"Hell." She smiled and kissed him on the temple. "Thanks."

"Welcome, big brother sort." She snuggled into his arm and told him about the truly stupid kids she went to school with. It was like they had no idea that reality was harsh. Even after watching battles on tv.

***

Bucky flinched awake on the couch when the door opened, hand going for a knife. "Oh, Steve." He relaxed again. "The kid okay?"

"She's in heaven. Darcy's teaching her how to make gnocchi today." He sat down across from Bucky, staring at him. "You growled earlier?"

"It's nothing."

"Uh-huh." He smiled. "Someone in the press trying to make it seem like you're dating someone bad? They speculated on me a few times."

"Everyone seems to think you two are boinking," Xander called. "I'd suggest a good dose of it would make you both relax again."

"Shut up, Xander," Bucky called. He looked at his best friend. "Kate said that some of the team's journals showed they thought we were too." Steve blushed, shaking his head. "I don't know why. We're friends."

"It's called a bromance these days from what Clint said." Steve shook his head and shrugged. "I didn't start any of that."

"You'd make an ugly girl," Bucky complained, making Steve grin back. "This is really awkward."

"Not like I'm going to jump you. I know a few of the slayers thought you and Xander were together."

"Nope. I like him, he's a good pillow when you're in a cave, but no."

Xander wobbled out and shrugged at them. "I only top with my guys." He went to the bathroom and snuck out a window. Bucky caught him and hauled him back to bed. "I was going to give you two privacy to talk."

"Keep it up, I'll tell the kid," Bucky warned. He pointed. Xander huffed but went back to the bedroom. He looked at Steve. "He's a worse patient than you are. At least you kept going 'I'm okay' to make me go to work." He looked in there. "If you make us chase you to another inherited place, I'll paddle you and hand you to a new boyfriend who'd enjoy you that way."

"Eww. I am *not* into spanking games. Too much like a fight."

"No emergency leave taking things either. Andrew has them all safely hidden for you."

Xander stared at him. "I doubt that since I doubt you cut the one on the inside of my thigh up near my crotch." Bucky glared. "It's come in handy. That's why I had it tattooed there."

"Steve, got handcuffs?"

"I don't do things like that in bed, Bucky." He got up, looking over Bucky's shoulder at Xander. "Just rest."

"I'm fine. I'm all better and I can escape now. That way he can do other things."

"Watch me stab you and drop you on Kate's doorstep," Bucky warned.

"Kate's dad has not a clue what she does," Xander said. "That'd create huge problems of the hiding teenage girl variety, and with Kate's luck she'd probably run into an enclave of vampires who'd *love* to have her."

Bucky groaned. "Point. Lay down anyway. If you're good tomorrow you can escape." He looked back but Xander was gone. "Damn it." He texted Andrew. "He's in Hawaii but Xander's disabled the portal so no one can get through it. Great." He looked at Steve. "You were easier."

"I was," he agreed with a grin. "We can talk. You can chase him later."

"Yeah, he's only in Hawaii." They settled in to talk to each other. They had some catching up to do.

***

Bucky walked up the porch stairs first in case there was a trap or something like a past Xander date waiting. "Is there some sort of 'don't remember me' spell if you're not here?"

"Probably," Xander said from his spot on the couch. "I'm fine. Really."

"Shut up, Xander." Xander glared. Bucky grinned. "No dates?"

"I don't bring dates here and the last one was very nice. He even helped me clean all my wounds before the blowjob and didn't poke me on them. Then the hotel thought I was a rent boy and tried to have me removed but oh well." He closed his eyes. "I'm good. Go play like the good boy you pretend to be. Or like bad boys since this is Hawaii and there's beaches with girls in bikinis."

Steve walked in when Bucky waved. "It's a nice place, Xander."

Xander blinked at him. "Just because he put me in your bed doesn't mean you two get to come cuddle in mine. And his is only a queen."

Steve shook his head. "Not in a cuddling mood. Tying you up and taking you back to the tower, yes. Cuddling no."

"I don't belong in the tower and I called Suzette earlier."

"She's the one who told me to tie you up and bring you home," Steve said with a smile. "She's very concerned that you're not happy and wants to make you feel happier."

"Willow watched all those cartoons she likes in the first run and that was in the late eighties so they were even more prozac on tv. Her mother started a write-in campaign to get a Jewish My Little Pony." Steve shook his head with a sigh. "I've watched a lot of the animes Andrew pointed her toward too. Usually with Andrew and them."

Bucky stared at him. "How did you stand that?"

"Friends do things for each other. They wanted to watch it and I wasn't against staying out of the house for longer. Even Cordy used to watch with us at the after school 'play at the school' program. At least until she got popular. She used to be a huge fan of Strawberry Shortcake's friend Orange Blossom." He grinned. "She used to have this My Little Pony t-shirt that had a princess pony, Princess Starburst. She got so mad when she started to outgrow that and her mother refused to get her a new one. I haven't thought about that in years."

Out of nowhere, a bowling ball covered in pink glitter shot itself at Xander's stomach, making him moan as he barely caught it. "You're so going to get it," a female voice called.

"We taught Steve's daughter about My Little Pony in your honor, Cordy. We miss you."

She appeared as a ghost, staring at him. "Uh-huh. Cute sucking up."

"I do." He put the bowling ball down, sitting up holding his stomach. "I miss you a whole lot. You have common sense. Some days it's like I'm surrounded by your Cordettes."

She smiled. "You are. It's payback."

"I'm so sorry. You know I'm sorry," he said quietly, staring at her.

"Not for that. The bowling ball was for that." She looked at her nails then at him. "Why are you injured?"

"Huge battle in Brooklyn?"

"You weren't supposed to be there."

"I was there watching the portal to see when everyone needed to show up. FILO, just like most huge battles."

She sighed. "They *hate* you. Especially when you get there first."

"I know, and I know why too. Just think, right now I'm second-in-command." He grinned. "If they kill off Giles, *all* the girls will be like me."

She looked up then at him. "They won't let that happen. You'll die first."

"So?" He shrugged. "If and when it happens it does. Maybe I'll do the haunting teacher thing. Become the Binns of the Council."

She snickered, nodding. "I can see you doing that, Xander." She stared at him. "Fine, I miss you too and you can get his daughter into Sailor Moon. She'd make an excellent Jupiter." She wiggled her fingers at Bucky. "He's still defying them because they wanted you to take him in hand, and dick, and mouth. That way he was happily ignoring them while warping the slayers."

"I just barely managed to get hard for the first time the other day."

"Yeah, they didn't care." He huffed. "Sorry." She smirked at Xander. "One of these days, one of your lovers will kill you."

"Sure. Are they that good in bed?"

"Probably not. You managed to survive Anya." She shook her head but looked at him. "Speaking of, Andrew called her back to 'correct' Willow."

"I'll go visit Anya."

"Are you going to forgive Willow?"

"No."

"Good!" She smiled. "Finally! It's like an abused spouse that finally walks away! Good job!" She patted Bucky on the arm. "You did good. They'd like to reward you with Xander."

"Everyone thinks he's having wild monkey sex with Steve," Xander said dryly.

"The Powers think that's a great thing too, Xander. Might make you less edgy, mopey, or bouncy."

"They're still not into me. Sorry."

"Damn. They're going to lose a major bet and then that'll mean they'll have to throw another apocalypse battle like the one in LA, which you won't survive. Or them probably."

Xander stared at her for a minute. "I can come up there if you want."

"No!" she said quickly, shaking her head. "Never say that! Really!" She stared at him. "Why does no one know you inherited from Anya?"

"Because I'm not desperate for attention? The ones who need to know do know."

She grimaced up then looked at him. "They heard you." Xander shrugged. "They're going to take out three of your ex's but inconvenience you."

"Fidgy, Derris, and Mary Elice."

She blinked. "Why?"

"Fidgy's switching to biobombs and I'll be damned if she wants to use mine. Derris is sick. He's looking at different methods because he doesn't like pain. It'll spare him and means his ex-wife will get his insurance. Mary Elice has decided to be snotty to me because I'm not *her* kind. She only slept with me because she wanted to be glamorously dangerous and I'm not helping with that. She found out what I got from Anya and wanted it. Beyond that, she's ill with something and so's her unborn little heathen that's got no brain stem."

She looked up. "They wanted Howard."

"I doubt they'd manage that since Howard's immortal."

"Point. An asshole, but immortal."

"And then some," Xander quipped. "Which is why I don't go see Howard any longer."

"Probably a good idea with the way he's looking to destroy humanity."

"Yeah, I introduced him to Kennedy." He smiled. She let out a deep, rich moan that made the two soldiers stand at attention in a certain manner. "He is her type."

"Oh, so evil, Xander," she moaned. "Thank you. Want the prototypes?"

"Sure. I'll give the ones we don't need to Stark or someone."

She nodded. "Sure but that means the ex-wife will become an issue."

"I doubt it since she likes my neck to suck on."

"She's a vamp?"

"She's a half succuba."

"Huh." She shook her head, staring at him. "When you get over here, we'll have more fun."

Xander smiled. "Yes, I will." She cackled as she disappeared. "That was Cordelia," he said, smiling at Bucky.

"She was one hell of a woman," he said. He looked at Xander. "You okay?" Xander nodded. "I meant your stomach."

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"The one with the baby?" Steve asked.

"They've been poisoned somehow. We're not sure how." He looked her up on Bucky's phone since his was dead. "That's her."

He read it over. "I didn't know that they had political parties that featured human sacrifices."

"Yeah. She's more extreme than any Nazi but her platform for purity is competence and no disabilities. We met when I was in Oxnard and I proved her wrong about what a guy with one eye could do a few years back. She's had plans for years to bomb a NASCAR event to get everyone there because she doesn't like the lifestyle some of them hold up."

Bucky shook his head with a sigh. "Does she have white-blonde hair and keeps it pulled back in a bun? Uptight business suits in olive drab?"

"Yeah, that's her. She'd hate that her own child wouldn't fit into her world view and some of the hardline racists have decided she's got to go because she found some people of other races to be more skilled than theirs."

Steve nodded. "We could arrest them for that."

"You can't prove who did it. Scotland Yard can't prove who did it. They've tried. She's another that's been thinking of death before dishonor. I know she was wondering how hard it'd be to take some of the racists with her."

Bucky stared at him. "Can you write down all your past dates so I can go find them all and shoot them?"

"Then who'll I sleep with?"

"I don't care. Just...not them."

"You liked a few of them."

"Point," he sighed, looking at Steve, who was shaking his head. "A few were almost decent beings, just had bad jobs."

"I'm so glad I don't have to have this talk with Suzette."

Xander laughed. "You sure? Slayers tend to date people who understand the duty."

"I'll have Sam fix her up with a few soldiers," he shot back with a smile. "Nice try diverting things. Bucky, he's got to be bleeding. I smell blood."

"Crap." He pounced Xander, holding him down while he looked at his stomach. "Yup, those stitches ripped. Slight bit of bleeding." He looked at Xander, who was giving him a dirty look. "Not like you'd let me check."

"I might if you asked."

"Can I check the ones on your back?"

"No. Because you're mean to me." Bucky got up and flipped him over even though Xander struggled. "See, very mean."

"Shut up, Xander." He looked at those. "Mostly clean but one's in a hard place to reach." Steve went to look for the first aid kit for him. He leaned down next to Xander's ear. "Be a good boy and I won't have to torture you this way."

Xander looked back at him. "If you think this is torturing me, you're worse at it than Suzette is." Bucky gave his hair a yank. "I get worse than this on dates." He grinned. "Are you flirting?" Another hair yank.

Steve brought back the first aid bag. "He used to flirt a lot and got a lot of dames to dance with him. He could get nearly any dame he wanted."

"That one was uptight and she probably became a nun." He opened the kit. "Get the one in his bathroom?"

"That is. I need to restock it," Xander said.

"Get the one in my bathroom?" Steve went to get it for him. He cleaned all the injuries and ducked when a new bowling ball appeared, this time with gold glitter. He looked up. "It doesn't match my arm and if you bean us with one of those, *I'm* coming up there." Suddenly both bowling balls disappeared. Not the glitter though. He went back to cleaning the injury. "Better." He let Xander get up to stitch his own side back together. He had better dexterity for that.

Outside something exploded.

"If you hit my truck with the bowling ball, you'll need unemployment checks," he called. No answer. They went to look, Steve getting the kitchen fire extinguisher. Xander stared at the car then at Bucky, who shrugged. "Sure," he decided. "We can work with that." He saw the tank and smiled. "Aww, baby. Did you come to visit me?" He skipped down to hug the tank. "Such a good tank. A very good tank, baby." It shifted to protect him. "You're a good tank but that one won't hurt me." A gunshot. Xander looked back. "Oh, a former date. Hi, Bras."

"Xander," he groaned. "My tank hates my agenda."

"We told you it'd only attack other tanks." A police officer showed up. "Hi." He grinned. "I'm Council."

"Is that why you're hugging the tank, sir?"

"My off-duty company makes anti-magic and magical artifacts. We worked to make this tank self-piloted for him." He pointed at his ex. "We warned him it looked like it'd only fire on other tanks." The tank growled at his owner. "Poor thing. Did he kick you or something?" He petted it.

The officer sighed. "I don't want to deal with this. Really."

Xander grinned. "I think his tank is mad at him." The turret swung around and focused on Steve. "He won't hurt you. He wants to see how pretty you are." A muscle car pulled up and two guys got out. "Hey, guys. My company was hired to make this one self reliant."

"I can see it's watching us," Danny said dryly. He walked over. "What's it doing?"

"It hates me," the guy on the ground said. "It'll fire on other tanks, which I don't mind, but then it decided I was mean or something and somehow got here. I came to get it back to Ghana."

Xander shrugged. "It's a very liberal tank I think."

Steve McGarret walked over, patting the side of the tank. "Easy. We won't hurt you. We're just trying to figure things out before you or anyone else gets hurt." He nodded at Bucky and Steve, staring at him. "You're...."

"Here to check on Xander because he's injured."

Danny smacked McGarret on the arm. "I knew you two were scarily alike!"

Xander hugged him. "I like you too. You're probably the nicest guy I've ever teased."

"Quite probably," Danny agreed, getting pulled away by his partner. He grinned at him. "Xander is a huge tease when he's club hunting."

"I finally figured out how to dance," he agreed. He grinned at Steve. "Come pet him. He's nice that way."

Steve patted the front of the tank. "Can I climb up to look inside you? I wanted to know how they did this." The tank opened the hatch for him so he got to climb in and look. He climbed back out. "You're in excellent shape, dear." The tank shifted to nuzzle him with the turret. Steve hopped down, looking at Xander.

"Trade secret."

Steve looked at the guy on the ground. "What were you doing before he went rogue?"

"I was considering retiring a few tanks." That nearly got him run over and Xander had to move Steve out of the way quickly. McGarret knew to get himself out of the way. "Hey!"

"Did you find a girlfriend?" The tank made a belching sound. "Awww! That's so sweet!" He petted it again. It calmed back down.

"Fine, he can have all the old tanks we found," the guy on the ground complained. "Can you get us back there?"

Xander looked at him. "Since when do I do magic?"

"Point," he complained.

"The tank is going to go to our office," Danny said. "When you can show how you're getting it home, with all the paperwork and all that, then you can have it back. That good enough?" he asked the tank. "You can sit in the sun and be admired?" It made another, happier, belching noise. He frowned. "Are you backed up?"

"Gas line has a bubble," both Steves said.

Bucky just watched it and stayed out of it. This was part of Xander's insanity and he didn't want drawn in. When they made arrangements for the tank to follow them back to their office, Bucky grabbed Xander by the arm. "Steve, go put the pictures back in the frames. The one on top should look mostly like how we are now. It's sympathetic magic or something. I know when I had a bandage on my head I needed a new picture." Steve nodded, going to look at that. He walked Xander off, taking him back up there to deal with his funny mental issues. Before poor Steve got warped. And the higher ups wanted Xander to be their creamy filling? Bucky felt his body react to that image and looked down then up. He shook his head. "Still like dames, thanks."

Steve was shaking his head. "I do not need to know."

"Flirt with Darcy," Xander said. "She's nice."

"She's real nice," Steve agreed. "Especially to Suzette." He pulled out his phone to call her while he was thinking about it.

Bucky looked at Xander. "You worried Steve. It's not nice to worry Captain America. He gets this frown that makes some people run for cover."

"I've seen worse on mermaids." He snapped. "We have to tell Steve. They're migrating this way."

"Find one and I'll show him tomorrow."

"Okay." He found his phone on the charging cord, looking at the site that tracked those things. "They're here." He let him see it. "That's another island I think."

"It is." He left, going to get McGarret away from the tank. He nodded and Danny walked over smiling. "Xander said he forgot to warn you guys about cannibal sea creatures."

"We have cannibal sea creatures? Why?" Danny asked.

"They're playing locally. I can show him. They're weirder than I like to think about. Really gross too." Steve looked over. "Tomorrow?"

"Sure. We can do that." Bucky nodded and picked up dinner on the way back. Steve looked at Danny. "I didn't know we had them and I'm a surfer."

"That's a real good reason why I don't need to get into the ocean." He walked off.

***

The next morning, just after dawn, Steve McGarret was sipping coffee next to Bucky, who spotted the mermaids coming up to eat. Steve choked on his coffee when he was handed the binoculars. "What are those?" he demanded.

"Mermaids. Xander got exposed to one. They eat people." He looked at him. "His swim coach wanted to win."

"That's...disgusting." He watched them feed on a shark they had killed. He called the local hotline for surfers to warn them while he watched them. "Why is it...." He hung up and called the emergency number. He gave his name and badge number. "Close the beach I'm sitting on. There's creatures... yes, them. They're going for tourists." A few minutes after he hung up, the lifeguards were calling out 'shark' and closing the beach. Only one mermaid made it to the sand to chase down a cute coed in a bikini. "Huh, they have human anatomy."

Bucky looked at him. "I don't need to know. They wouldn't like me anyway."

Steve gulped some coffee. "I think I made myself sick and that's a horrible thing." They got up and went back to their island, him dropping Bucky off on the way to the office. He let them pull up satellite images of the area so they could see. Everyone stared, grimacing at the slimy things. "Mermaids," he said. "Harris found out."

Kono nodded. "I may never touch my board again." She shuddered. "Why is it going after the...oh, they're compatible."

"They eat humans," Danny said.

"Even better," Chin said, turning it off and going to get something to take his mind off that very bad mental image. Even some of the grosser anime wasn't that bad.

TBC....