A. I. (Alternate Interests) by Voracity2
Summary: Xander gets stranded in a cave and finds something really weird: HYDRA's files and an AI of Howard Stark.
Categories: Buffy Stories & Crossovers > Avengers Characters: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes Word count: 53777 Read: 196336 Published: 09/11/2014 Updated: 09/11/2014

1. Part 1 by Voracity2

2. Part 2 by Voracity2

3. Part 3 by Voracity2

Part 1 by Voracity2
A. I. (Alternate Interests)








Xander parked where the gate guards had told him to park, getting out and lifting the heavy case out of the back seat. The guard nodded and followed him inside. He smiled at the receptionist. "Hi, I need to talk to Mr. Stark about something they made that I found a few of." He put the case on the counter. "I know he doesn't want these sort of things to be left in a seaside cave by my former town."

She grimaced. "Let me see who we talk to about that, sir. Is it mechanical?"

"No, it's a bomb. Thankfully disarmed."

"That's a great thing," she agreed. She glanced at the guard following the guy but he nodded he had it covered so she relaxed again.

He smiled. "I tried to call but got the run around." He shrugged. "Do I want to leave this within thirty miles of a biker gang's hideout? Not really." She called the head office, who called Mr. Stark himself. Xander smiled and nodded when the guy came off the elevator scowling. "I didn't think you wanted this interesting Stark International piece of old explosive in a cave. Or the others. I tried to call first, Mr. Stark."

He opened the case, frowning. "This isn't ours." Xander reached in and flipped down the 'document' flap, letting him take them out. "That's made by my father." He looked at him. "Where was it?"

Xander drew a map on some paper the receptionist handed him. He put it on top of the weapon. "There's a huge cave complex. Most of it's his stuff but a few things had your name on the documents. I'm not sure it if was a storage area or what. I know it's thirty miles from a biker gang and I found it by hiding from the bastards." He grinned slightly. "I may like weapons but I don't need those."

"Who are you?"

"Alexander Harris. I'm one of the trainers for the New Watchers Council. My car broke down near it while I was going back for a remembrance in Sunnydale."

"Okay," he said. "I can be there later tonight."

"That's cool. I have it blocked off right now so the gang can't get into it." He smiled. "I'm heading back there. Can't protect the earth if grubby bikers blow it up." He nodded at the guard. "Thank you. You were very pleasant." He left, going back to the cave and the nagging being in there who had demanded he find his son to help him fix the things that had been screwed up.

Stark closed the case with a scowl, walking off to take it to his lab. He looked that guy up before doing anything but disarming the weapon totally.

***

Xander looked out at the noises, getting up with his MRE main dish. He looked out, eating a bite, nodding inside. "It's in here. I moved half of it to the back cave area so it wasn't in the open and didn't look tempting if someone found it while I was gone." He led him inside. "There's three caves, they all have some. This main area just has paperwork from what I glanced at to see who it belonged to. Cave one and two," he said with a point of his plastic fork. "Were already stuffed that way. I moved the weapons to cave three. Much to the nagging of the being in cave one."

"Being?"

Xander ate a bite and pointed. "There's some sort of artificial intelligence in there on a really old computer." He ate another bite. Stark went that way first. Xander sat down to guard things for now. Stark would need some time.

Tony walked in and flipped on his flashlight. "The light switch is to your right," a male voice said.

Tony blinked. "That can't be," he muttered, finding the light switch. The ancient computer, probably about twenty-five years old, booted up and the screen went from a tiny picture to a bigger one. Tony blinked, licking his lip. "How did he build you? Artificial intelligence wasn't his thing."

"That damn scientist that we got from HYDRA, son," he said. "He really did try to call you first. I asked him to."

"Not like the girls could use this during the next demonic battle," Xander called. "They can't do more than point and shoot higher weapons. And your dad's a nagging asshole."

"Yes, he was," Tony Stark said, staring at his father. "So you're...."

"Downloaded about six months before HYDRA had me killed? Yes. Did your mother survive? I'm not connected to any outside sources."

"No."

"Damn it!"

"Hold on, HYDRA did that?"

"Yes." He stared at his son. "This was originally my backup storage site in case things got ruined at the company's storage site." Tony nodded. "Thankfully the only people who've been in here are a plant demon and Xander hiding from the demonic biker gang down the hill in town. I thought it'd be safe, and it has been. That's why he put me out here when I refused to help him or join him."

Xander leaned in. "There had been protections on the doorway that went down as soon as I got near them. I'm not sure *why* but they did." He shrugged. "I'm not HYDRA and he gave me one hell of a history lesson while I guarded things." He held up something. "The MRE came with skittles if you want them."

"No, I'm good," Tony Stark said. "Um... maybe. The other weapons?" Xander led him to them. "Fuck," he said, looking around the first storage area. "All weapons?"

"Couldn't tell you conclusively. These were already in here. The two I looked in were. The other one definitely was as far as I could tell." He looked at him. "I tried to call. He asked me to."

Tony nodded. "It's a good thing he had these protected."

"How would your father have done magic to protect it?"

Tony winced. "Shit," he muttered. Xander handed over the skittles. Tony took them to open and eat while looking things over. "Anything we should know?"

"I'm not getting too close to the computer in there in case my gift for getting possessed kicks in. I'm not sure if it works on computer based lifeforms." Stark looked at him then cracked, starting to laugh. Xander grinned. "You do what you gotta do, Mr. Stark. I've got another week before I'm due back to being nagged by the slayers." He left him to gather his mind and worry about things.

Tony Stark called Pepper. It's what he did when his mind wouldn't shut up. "Pepper. Yeah, the guy was right. There's a huge warehouse full of stuff my father put in here. Including my father's mind as an AI on a really ancient computer. I need a truck at least. And Rhodey would help. Please?" He opened a new case and groaned. "Fuck, Dad's more extreme drunken tinkering stuff. That's a miniature A-Bomb." She said something. "No, turned off. Please? Thanks. Yeah, I'm there. JARVIS copied the map if he needs it or I left it...probably in the car. Um, just soon? Thank you." He hung up and went back to the first cave. He stared at his father. "How would HYDRA, who you said you and Captain America destroyed, have done this?"

"We were wrong and the US wanted scientists to be the bigger bad thing again," he said, sounding tired. "So we gave Nazi scientists labs." Tony grimaced. "Some of us protested them being in the open but we weren't listened to. We were told it was a reaction to fighting them during the war," he said, sounding bland. "I really miss brandy right now."

Tony nodded. "We can have you moved, Dad."

"Thanks, son." He smiled. "Maybe you can use some of those to stop HYDRA. Before it takes everyone down."

Xander leaned in. "Don't set off visions. What have I said about that?"

"Sorry, kid."

Xander snorted but looked at Tony. "HYDRA, also known as a few senators, some congress members, some people in each and every single agency, including half of SHIELD, are still active. I just had a vision about them trying to open a gateway with a mini power source on a staff thing."

"Staff thing?"

"Yeah, gold staff thing."

Stark shuddered. "Loki's staff?"

"How would I know? We didn't fight Loki. The slayers and I that got there for the battle fought the demon looking aliens."

"Point." He nodded. "I can talk to Cap, Dad."

"You found him?" His whole face lit up and the display got brighter too. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's mostly okay. Bit upset right now. Um.... kid....."

Xander grinned. "I'm guarding it until you get the weapons and your dad somewhere else, Mr. Stark. Part of protecting everyone means that I don't let these sort of things into any hands but good hands. And I don't trust the military after meeting some of them." He shrugged. "You're the hands they're supposed to be in and I have to fly out by next Wednesday."

"I can have it moved by then. I have a friend I trust who is Air Force."

"Haven't run into any of them. Well, that one guy in Africa but he was doing the right thing in the wrong way but otherwise he wasn't one of the ones we had problems with probably."

"Good to know. Can I...."

"Yeah. The bikers are acting up but they won't come up here. I did use one thing to make sure of it. The nice beam lit their clubhouse on fire from the cliffs up top. Speaking of, that's how we get power." He left them to talk.

"I like that boy," Howard said. "He's got a blunt, terrible duty and personality but he's a good kid. The sort I'd want on the Commandos next team."

"The military hates me," Xander called. "Kick one special project around with your friends and they hate you forever."

"Sure, I get that," Tony said. His phone rang. "Rhodey, Tony. Yeah, a bit flustered. Xander Harris, from the New Watchers Council, found a storehouse of Dad's old weapons and designs. And his AI. Yeah, that's where I am. I could use a truck. Or three. And a large backup drive to clone his AI." He walked outside, looking around. "There's a biker gang meeting down the hill so be careful. Thanks, man." He hung up and took a few deep breaths. Finding his father's ...spirit for lack of a better word, alive was freaking him out. This is not what he expected from hearing his father had a hidden storage area.

He looked his phone and called a number. "Fury, Stark. We need to talk in person sometime after tomorrow. I just found a cache of Dad's stuff. Including stuff on HYDRA. He said you've got a bunch of them." He hung up. He took another deep breath and went back to the weapons. Most were weapons but there were a few other things hiding among them. He went out to look at the papers stored in boxes. Xander pointed so he started there. "Non-weapons?"

"Blue boxes. Red dots on them mean they looked like office type paperwork. They had been sorted randomly but I sorted by type of dot. The ones without are in that corner," he said with a point. Stark looked at him. "I've been trying to get hold of you now for a week. It was that or get nagged for doing what I have to do to protect people." He shrugged. "I get plenty of that from the slayers."

"I guess girls would." He checked each type of box, making a mental list of how to get things out of here in what order.

"The red boxes are proof that HYDRA has been around all this time," Howard called. "No marks were personal papers I never got around to sorting and destroying. Things like tax returns."

"Thanks, Dad." He heard jet boots and walked out. "Not the truck I needed."

"Pepper's bringing a U-Haul up." He put up the face shield. "You sounded freaked out."

"I found Dad's AI. They downloaded his brain."

"That's a good reason," Rhodey said, walking in there. He paused. "We have a do not engage order on you, Mr. Harris."

"I ran from the demonic biker gang when my car broke down." He shrugged but grinned. "I tried to call him first."

"Sure."

"I'm only guarding until I have to go home. Being in a cave full of weapons and a nagging AI is a lot better than being in a house full of nagging slayers."

"I guess it would be," Rhodey agreed. He followed Tony into the caves, ending in the one where Howard was. "Evening, Mr. Stark."

"Do I know you?"

"I'm Colonel James Rhodes, sir. Your son's best friend. I was there before you died."

"Oh, okay. That's nice. At least Tony can trust you."

"Yes, he can." He looked around. "How much memory do you need to clone yourself? We can't move you while you're powered."

"Probably a few terrabytes. They did it on low memory. The HYDRA bastard has a lot more tape drives than I do."

"Where?" Rhodey asked.

"My old base, kid."

"I'll ... Yeah, someone will know," Tony decided. "I've called Nick Fury, Dad. We'll talk." He heard a truck and saw the kid head out with something. Then someone yelped and two others screamed but drove off. Xander came back in holding his arm. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. They're boring. They know not to come near me and sending them to 'make sure I'm okay' is going to get Buffy kicked in sparring." He sat down, using his shirt to clot the injury. "That's why I turned my phone off." He turned it on and called. "I'm doing something important. If you *ever* send your ex Finn after me again and I'm not dying, I'm going to kill him next time. You have a better day and I'll be back on time unless it's an emergency." He hung up and turned off his phone again. Then he sighed and started to hum while cleaning his knife with his t-shirt.

Rhodey walked out, staring at him. "Finn was just here?"

"Yup. Finn and his wife." He looked up. "They said Buffy sent them because she was worried I had went off the grid. She usually can't reach me for months on end but apparently me camping is a bad thing."

Rhodey grimaced. "They could react to that."

"The Federal Appeals court ruled that they were to stay away from me unless I was dying," he said, staring at him. "Then he warned them he didn't like them being in Homeland Security and they should be in jail." He smiled a tiny bit. "They weren't pleased and the higher court wouldn't listen."

"Does it go back to the Council?"

"Yup."

"Good. The girls don't need that hell too. I saw some of the files by accident."

Xander nodded. "The general sneering that somehow the team had taken down their special ops project hadn't. When he did, he almost apologized but still hated demons."

"I can see that point." He went into the AI cave again. "Miss Potts is coming with a U-Haul."

"Sure. I can listen for her. Will I have to duck the one-eyed dick sucker?"

"Yup," Tony said. "Just in case so he can debrief you."

"You might want to make sure he knows not to send someone else."

"Good point." He called him back, getting Hill. "We found a cache of Dad's stuff, including an AI that has information on HYDRA still being around, Agent Hill. Make sure he comes out himself. I know Fury's not HYDRA, or you."

Xander held out a hand, taking the phone. "Hill, Harris. Send only the one-eyed dick sucker out here to handle this. Because I found the president has a brother who's HYDRA. Exactly. Thanks. Who? No! And not near the girls either. I know *we* aren't infested. I know you are. Fury and only Fury or else I go to the press first thing in the morning." He hung up and tossed the phone back. "Sometimes it helps being the biggest target so they leave the slayers alone."

Rhodey smiled. "I guess it would."

Xander's phone turned itself on and rang. "What?" he answered. "No, the car broke down so I'm camping and happened into weapons so I'm guarding them until the proper people *I* trust can get them from this charming cave. Willow, I'm pretty sure I can trust Tony Stark to pull his own stuff out of this cave. Okay? No, because she sent Riley. You can beat and nag her about it. Thanks." He hung up and turned it back off. "Nagging witches. Yay," he muttered. He looked at Stark. "She thinks you should be female so you could be next to the goddess. That's why we don't let her drink anymore." Stark walked off groaning and shaking his head. Xander grinned at Rhodey.

"You think she can?"

"I think she has in the past. Being a girl was weird."

Rhodey nodded, walking off again to help Tony. His mind was already being warped. Howard was giggling.

***

Nick Fury stomped into Stark's office the next day, running into Pepper, who looked exhausted. "He called?" he demanded. "And why is he working with the bastard from the Council?"

"We're just back and in the lab, Director. Leave your agent here." She walked off, staring at the agent still following them. "No."

"Stay," Fury said.

"In the car, I don't want anyone ...contaminated in the building in case they cause a problem."

"He's not demonic, Potts."

"I don't care and not what I meant." She pushed the button on the elevator panel, taking them to the lab. Howard was appreciating updated computers and his new storage room in the corner of the spare lab. Tony had other things sorted out and Xander was helping Rhodey move a few more boxes to where Tony was sorting things. "Tony."

"Fury." He held up a file he had pulled out. "Zola made himself an AI. HYDRA's still around." He pointed at Howard's face on the monitor. "Harris found him and told me."

Xander grinned. "You've got so many little snakes....." He moved another box then went 'ah-ha'. "I know this box. It's the 'I sold myself' list." Tony came over to get into the files, pulling them out.

Nick Fury looked at the monitor. "Howard," he said. "How?" At least he was good at not showing how horrified he was at the moment.

"Zola. He took my old office to do it to himself too. He gave me this charming new life about six months before I died by what Xander looked up for me."

Fury looked at Xander. "Can't you keep your strange to yourself?"

"Nope." He grinned. "I would've called my usual contact when you guys are being the boil on the Council's ass but you have her somewhere in the middle of the bad part of Europe at the moment."

"You know Romanoff," Tony said.

Xander smiled and nodded. "He sent her to sex me up to figure out why all the bad guys love me. Of course, I'd been told about her so we chatted instead. I answered all her questions and was a perfect gentlemen but offered if she wanted to come back for some other reason." He pulled out a file, smiling and handing it over. "Those who made demonic deals in Congress as of a few decades ago?"

"Helpful," Tony agreed, looking through it. "Plenty are still there."

Fury huffed. He looked at Howard again. "You sure about HYDRA?"

"Yes. If they find out we know they'll self-destruct everything." He stared at him. "I warned them about Zola."

"I heard." He rubbed his forehead. "No wonder I was to come alone." Xander and Tony both looked up.

"In the entry with the guards," Pepper said. Xander nodded, going back to the searching. Stark was grimacing. "He tried to follow anyway."

Fury called him. "Go wait in the car. It'll be hours." He hung up. Then he called someone else. "We've got issues. You're endangered."

"Tell my ex I said hi," Xander said dryly. "I've had three poker contacts praise his current team."

Fury groaned. "I hate you."

Xander blew a kiss. "We love you too, Nick Fury. You just make our lives so *full* of things." He smiled. "And the next time you let the agents summoning a demon do it on your pretty little helicarrier, we're going to let them keep going. You guys made your own bad things that time." He went back to work. Stark and Pepper were both staring at him. He grinned up at them, adjusting the eye patch. "They wanted to be new age Satanists, all there for themselves instead of for everyone else. They have pathetic research skills since they called on a higher lord of hell to guide them. Two possessed agents and an injured slayer later......" Stark moaned. "The last I heard all five of the agents were in jail at least."

"They're staying there too," Fury complained, walking off. "Yes, come in. Today. Drop it and come in."

"Take over the hub or whatever you call that place where all your intel goes through," Xander said in a sing-song way. "And make sure they can't get to the weapons."

Fury repeated that and sent Hill a coded message. Then he looked at Howard again. "Want to go help the slayers?"

Xander started to laugh. "I can't see him surviving Buffy very long but Andrew would probably be happy to have another guy there all the time to talk to, especially one who likes things like robots. We'd have to keep replacing his screen when the girls broke it though." He walked off giggling.

Stark looked at him. "We need to tell Steve."

"He's on a mission right now."

"We still need to tell Steve. They'll want to go after him," Stark said. "You call him or I will."

"Or I'll call her," Xander called from the garage doorway. "Duck!" They ducked and the blast of warm water didn't do more than fly around their heads but didn't get anything wet. "I'm not here to kill you. Calm the fuck down! I'm here about stuff for the girls. Stark makes pretty things." The demon huffed but faded again. "Sorry, I freaked out the demon you have in the fountain. He'll calm down again." He looked at Pepper when she stomped over. He pointed. "Hey," he called. "She wanted to see if she had to retile the fountain to match you." It faded back into view, giving her a shy smile and a blushing side look. "They're really harmless, Miss Potts."

"That's good. As long as it's harmless and it's not hurting the fountain any, it's welcome to stay there." The demon blew some foam her way as it smiled and faded out again. "Any others?"

"Two half demons on the gate but they're protector types so guards are a good job for them. One I noticed inside but he was wearing a lab coat of some kind. Not sure why he's here but if it's his choice he's probably not going to harm anyone. His people are fairly advanced. They have a huge intelligence network we've touched bases with sometimes. They're the only people that actually think I'm not some tag along little warrior wannabe. Even told the slayers that once but Buffy never listens." He shrugged but smiled. "The wacky that is the main slayer house. Maybe I'll just skip there and go back to my rounds in Africa." He walked off yawning.

"You can rest, kid," Fury said. "I'm sure you can curl up in a corner." Xander shot him a dirty look. "We need you at your best. Take a nap. I can guard for now."

"Fine. Let me curl up on the old couch over here."

"It might have bugs," Tony said.

"Stark, I just spent three years in Africa," he said with a smile. "Bugs are a lot nicer than snakes."

"Good point. Snakes would be worse to sleep on than anything that crawled in here."

"It was cold enough to kill them when we got in," Rhodey said. Xander nodded, laying down and drifting off to rest, but not fully sleep. Here was too insecure to sleep.

Fury shook his head. "We hate working with him," he said quietly. "He's good enough but he's sassy and he doesn't follow orders."

"That's probably because your orders aren't what he's concerned about," Rhodey told him bluntly. "I don't take outside orders in the middle of things that are going to harm what I'm there for either. And yes, I saw when the slayers had a 'if you want it so much, here you do it' week." He shot him a smug look. "How did that work for you?"

"The kid told them to take it easy on us, we weren't female and Hill wasn't one of them." He snorted, going back to Howard. "Did you know about them?"

"I heard rumors of the old group. Xander told me what happened." He stared at him. "I like the kid. He's got spunk. He would've made a fine Commando."

"Clearly since he doesn't listen to me," Fury said dryly.

Howard's AI smiled. "Why would he? SHIELD has nothing to do with the paranormal, Nick."

"Point, maybe." They got back to work. They heard the kid's phone ring and him sigh but answer it.

"What? No, I'm here at Stark resting, Natasha. Ah, is that why Willow found you. Tell her to go pet a cat she didn't make this time. No, I happened into a storage cave of weapons and HYDRA information."

"Don't tell her that," Fury ordered.

"You don't pay my ass," Xander shot back. "Whine, mother fucker, as you told me once." He shot a glare then smirked. "And I look better in my eyepatch than you do." Pepper burst out laughing but shook her head as she went to make coffee. "No, Natasha, I'm okay. I found a whole bunch of stuff Howard Stark created, plus his artificial intelligence. Yes, HYDRA. The same HYDRA. The same HYDRA that's infesting your little overseeing authority by the way. No clue but Howard's mental math said probably about half of SHIELD. No one's put new records into that storage area in years." He yawned. "No, I had to come get him since he didn't answer phone requests. Then again, that figures. Stark's busy thinking up the end of the universe."

He winced and rubbed his forehead. "Hold on." He squeezed his eyes shut, letting the vision come. He sighed and groaned when it stopped. "Stark, don't make any more AI's. They'll take out humanity." He put the phone back against his ear. "Sorry, vision. Captain, I am. Here, hold on. Stark, Rogers." He held up his phone. Tony jogged over to get it and walked off telling him what they had found. Xander got up. "Miss Potts, paper and a pen maybe?" he asked quietly. She let him have some and he wrote the vision down, letting her take it so he could go rest again. "I hate visions and it's clear that Jonathan ascended after the First Evil bullshit to become a higher power since I get geek visions." He closed his eyes and let himself drift off again, almost pouting in his sleep.

Fury shook his head. "We hate visions but they seem to be right most of the time, unless he steps in to warp them." Stark took it from him to look over and groaned but went over to Howard's AI so he could put the phone on speaker so they could talk. Steve wasn't sounding like a happy Avenger at the moment but they could handle that too.

***

Somewhere in Eastern Europe, Steve Rogers hung up after talking to a man who was virtual instead of dead and wanted to throw his phone. He wasn't usually the fit throwing sort but right now, it seemed like a great idea. He looked at Natasha. "We need to go to Stark as soon as we're done."

"We're done after this raid."

"Good. Make sure we hit the airport immediately." She nodded. "By ourselves." She smiled a tiny smirk and nodded again. "Do you know this Harris guy?"

"Yes, I do. I was sent to see what was going on with him and he figured out why I was there fairly fast since I wasn't like the arms dealers that usually courted him." She smirked more brightly. "We had a charming four hour talk in the restaurant but he was very mannerly, for him, and quite pleasant to eat with. Not my type but pleasant."

"Huh. He dates arms dealers?"

"They like him." She shrugged. "It seems to happen sometimes."

"Oh. That's...charming I guess. Is he an agent?"

"Trainer for the slayers."

"Oh!" He blinked a few times. "I read about them recently." She nodded. "Huh. So maybe it comes in handy too."

"He said it had a few times but he was also grieving for a lost fiancee."

"That's sad. Before the wedding?"

"Longer story." She walked off telling him that. It was the best story to get to know Xander.

***

Colonel Rhodes quit leaning against the side of the car, nodding at the two people getting off the private plane. "Stark sent me, Captain. I'm Colonel Rhodes, I wear the other suit."

"Nice to meet you, Colonel. Is Stark all right?"

"Having a slight problem wrapping his mind around his father being a fairly nagging AI over Xander's diet at the moment. Apparently when he couldn't drink virtual liquor he turned to nagging. He's also trying to drive one of Harris' coworkers out of the building from her nagging. I feel really sorry for the kid." He got them into the car with their bags and drove them back to the lab building. He drove into the garage and looked. "What happened?" he asked Potts as he got out.

"Willow had a huge, bad reaction to the water fountain demon for some reason. Xander kindly put down the garage door before it went to war and went out to deal with them. Stark and Fury moved half of everything to a better protected small lab, including Howard." She smiled. "Steve, Natasha." She shook their hands. "He's upstairs." They pushed a few trolleys of boxes to the elevator and went up there. Stark came out to get them and pointed, shaking his head with a sigh. They could hear Howard nagging Xander in the corner and Fury was looking smug.

"Listen, old guy. I do what I have to do and I'm sorry you don't like it. But hey, now you have your son you can unscrew your relationship with, because I read a biography on him once for english class and you were about as good as my drunken parents were. So a second chance and maybe this time you'll do it better." He stared at Howard's image. "Beyond that, not my daddy and you're not the dangerous sort that likes my ass so sorry!" He smirked and waved. "Have fun." He walked off shaking his head. "Let me go hide from all the nagging bitches," he called to Stark. "Before your dad and Willow join up." He paused, smiling at Natasha. "Hi. I'm going to hide in Marakesh if you wanted to have dinner again. I could use talking to people who didn't nag and had sense. Or else I'll probably go call on Barry to see if he'd like breakfast. He's local." He walked around them. "Have fun, Captain. He needs a valium."

Natasha shook her head, looking at Nick Fury. "You know better than to set him off."

Fury shrugged. "What's he going to do? Go find another arms dealer to date?"

"The last time you pissed him off after a battle he found weapons for the next apocalypse battle while they babied his injuries." Fury snorted. "And nicely turned over the two things he won at poker that were too big for slayers. Including that neutron bomb."

"If he does it this time, he can turn it in again. He was getting in the way anyway. This isn't really his deal and like he said earlier, HYDRA has no interest in the Council. They can't use the slayers for any purpose beyond hoping they keep winning."

Steve shook his head. "I can't say anything about it. I just met the guy. Howard?" Fury pointed so he walked that way. "It is you."

"It is. They're going to pull their end game soon because they'll hear somehow that I got found." He stared at him. "Blocking Zola's minions so far isn't all that hard now that I can connect to the outside world but they're going to destroy some of what's been built."

"I can help stop them again."

"You're going to have to rip down a lot of stuff, Steve. Including SHIELD." Nick Fury winced. "Half of them at least. People in other agencies. People in government." He shook his head. "No one's going to come out unbruised."

"Or we could let Harris note that he found it," Tony said, coming over. "That would sidestep ours. We can arrange for it when SHIELD is totally locked down and no one has access to anything." He stared at Fury. "The weapons? Can we do that?"

"We can and I've already quietly started that, Stark."

"Thank you. I don't really want to face down the weapons you stole from me for that Phase two." He looked at Natasha. "Any word on Barton or Banner?"

"Clint's in New York with his new dog." She smiled. "It's a loving thing he rescued from the Russian Mob in his neighborhood." Tony moaned, shaking his head. "They had a few words but they'll handle things. I have no idea on Banner."

"JARVIS, find me Brucie and have him call ASAP," Tony ordered. "And let her call Barton to clue him in so they can't ambush him too."

"HYDRA has little use for myself or Barton," she said. "We're not going to be turned and taking us out is very difficult."

"So was taking me out," Howard said. "They have snipers who can also build bombs. I looked over the file on my supposed car wreck. No one noticed the ripping up of the engine from the bomb."

"Obadiah didn't want anyone to investigate it," Tony said. "Then again, I caught him with his panties down selling arms to terrorists. That was right after he had me kidnaped to get me out of the picture." He looked at Fury. "So are they part of Ten Rings?"

"No. Not that we can tell."

"Good. I'm glad that episode is done with." He looked at Natasha. She waved her phone. "Blocked?"

"No. He's in the shower. The dog answered it." She listened, smiling when she heard Clint's voice. "Barton, answer your own phone." He clearly heard and picked it up. She walked off talking to him. "Harris, yes that one," she said at his spluttering. "Found evidence of HYDRA within SHIELD. He also found Howard Stark as an AI." She listened to him swearing at his pants. "Being dressed would be a good idea. On the west coast at Stark. Where else would we be?" She smiled. "I'll meet you there. Bring the dog. They could use some stress relief." She hung up. "He's on his way and he knows where Banner is."

"Good," Tony said. His phone rang. "Bruce." He smiled as he answered. "Come home now. No, nothing like that. Well, we found out SHIELD's infested with bad guys and my father's an AI. Yes, I'm serious."

"Zola's in my old office, Nick," Howard said.

"I've got two agents I trust going to fix that."

"You sure you can trust them?" Fury nodded. "Absolutely sure?"

"Yes. Hill is my right hand and I trust her with my life. The other one I trained."

Stark looked at him. "I wouldn't trust anyone, even Hill." He went back to filling him in. Bruce said he'd be careful and hung up. "He'll be careful and hide better. Of all of us, he's the best at blending into the jungle cultures."

Natasha nodded. "He does do an excellent job and them hunting him probably wouldn't get them anything good. Knocking him out as a human tends to change him."

"I heard," he said, looking at her. "Did you tell him to bring his dog?"

"Yes." She smiled. "Dogs are very handy and the thing is loyal to his owner. That means he's protective."

"Good point. I guess I can put up with a dog." He shrugged and went back to sorting things. "Someone go get the rest of the papers." She and Fury went to do that while he finished sorting. All the weapons plans had already been put into a vault only he had the combination of. The personal information from Howard's files was in there as well. The weapons plans were mixed in so you couldn't get any of them without searching each box. That left the older HYDRA information. He came to another list of agents who were compromised. It was twelve years old. "Dad, when did they put these in there?"

"The last time anyone showed up it was about thirteen years ago, son. Why?"

"Twelve year old list of agents."

"They had a fire at their storage facility so moved some of it to my cave to keep it safe."

"That figures." Fury came in. He switched the box with the list. "Anyone still employed?" He carried that box off to go through it in a corner. Natasha put the trolley of boxes near him. "Thank you." Fury growled. "I take it someone's still employed?"

"And with Hill. Damn it." He called her. "He's compromised." He hung up to call another number. "Maria's heading to New Jersey. Your co-trainee is one of them. He's with her. Yes, there. Thank you." He hung up, looking at the gathered people. "We have a problem we have not told you about."

Natasha snorted. "I've seen May's new team and heard her mission from your own files. I'm not pleased and I doubt he'll deteriorate that way."

Fury swallowed. "How long have you known?"

"Months." She smirked, looking evil. "He knows we know. Clint and I are the best for good reason." She tipped her head and smirked that same tiny, evil smirk she gave Stark. "He knows all he has to do is ask. May, however, is going to die by my hand." Fury shivered. "And Ward is a weak agent. He is nowhere near the agent that Clint was when Coulson took him in."

Tony's head popped up. "Agent's alive?"

She nodded. "Fury used experimental things on him. Basically tortured him back to life." Stark glared at Fury. "He is mostly healthy but wondering things. Also, they have a pet hacker Coulson picked up to turn into an agent. We'll see where she lands on the scale when someone else has taken over since he detailed Ward to do so. We will handle Ward for you, Director." She strolled off, calling Barton. He was probably closest.

"Yeah, I'd run before Pepper hears that Phil's alive," Stark said with an evil smirk of his own. "You don't want to see her with her softball bat."

Fury stomped off to call him again.

***

Clint casually shot the guy that Hill was grappling with, smiling at her. "Hey, Hill."

"Who sent you?" she demanded.

"Natasha. You know I'm only loyal to her and Coulson."

"Good point. Um...."

"Yeah, we know." He smirked. "I'm going to kick your ass for that later by the way. What're we doing?"

"Breaking Zola."

"Okay. Power interrupts?"

"He's got backup power generators."

Clint looked around. "Where?" She pointed. "Let me go break some stuff. C'mon, Lucky." He and the dog walked off.

"You brought your dog?"

"Yup, I love my dog. He's almost as nice to me as Natasha is but he doesn't bite."

She sighed, calling in that she had met up with Barton and her helper was down. She flinched at the explosions behind her and then under her feet. She looked up at the sound of a jet. "Barton, move," she called, running for the woods.

Clint looked down from his tree. "Like I wasn't already out of the way," he snorted, looking at his dog. Who seemed to shrug. He fired another explosive arrow and took out the last open power supply source. The jet fired on the building, destroying the upper portion but any SHIELD facility was at least half underground. Once the jet was gone, he hopped down, bringing his dog with him, and went to cut the other power sources. He heard laughing but oh well. Small explosive from his arrow and boom went the generators' gas supply. The laughing turned to screams as Clint climbed back out. The dog met him and they walked off together. "C'mon, Hill. I've got an untraceable ride. You can have the back."

"Sure," she agreed. She got her bag from the hidden SHIELD SUV and went with him. The dog got the front bench seat of the older car and she stretched out in the back to rest. "Tell me when you want me to take the wheel."

"I can do that." He drove off, heading toward the west. It was safer if he drove. Less chance of being picked up by some agent in another agency.

***

Xander looked up from the nap he had taken in the interrogation room, shrugging at the detective. "Why did you decide I had done it when they had me drugged?"

"We weren't sure what was going on, Mr. Harris, but a few people are very worried about what you do."

"I work with the slayers."

The detective winced. "You do?"

"Yes I do. The fact that a past date drugged me and my present date to take him out doesn't make me happy and I'm going to be dealing with her later."

"We can arrest her."

"You'd have to send her home again. She's got immunity."

"Oh." He sat down across from him, noticing the cuffs had been opened. "How did you do that?"

Xander grinned. "I'm a man of many talents. And I've run into some of the dirtiest cops this side of Mexico while I was training in Africa. They get really pissed off when you take out the thing that's paying them a living wage." The detective sighed. Xander smiled. "Exactly. So why am I still here since I was drugged when she tried to kill him?"

"Did kill him. He died in surgery."

Xander sighed. "His daughter's going to beat me to kicking her ass. Damn." The detective grimaced. "His daughter's really good at a lot of things. She's young, but she's evil when she wants to be."

"One of the slayers?"

"I met him when I was seeing someone else and I needed to buy something for a battle. He was pleasant and nice when we were seeing each other."

The detective stared at him. "Has anyone ever mentioned you shouldn't be able to do that?"

"Yes. They're usually faintly amused." He smiled. "Unless they're slayers, then they nag."

"They said you retired."

"Yeah, they try that now and then. Which means I get to kick them out of their house and take back their armory." He smiled. "I could use it anyway." The detective shuddered, moving away from him. "So, am I in trouble for being drugged?"

"No, Mr. Harris. You can collect your things outside."

"Killer, thanks, man." He got up and walked out, signing for his bag of stuff. "I'm missing two knives," he said, patting himself down. "One knife. You guys didn't get one of mine." The property clerk found it and handed it over. "Thanks. That was demon blood if they were wondering. It stained the metal somehow." He tucked his weapons back into their usual spots and walked out, around the huffy Willow and Buffy. "You'd think you'd be less bitchy because someone took out the ex I was having dinner with, but since you're acting that way I'm sure I can take back all the stuff I gave to you guys. Have a great life."

"Giles said," Buffy started.

Xander turned to look at her. "Yawn." She glared. He stared at her over the edge of his sunglasses. "Do remind him that my name's on the house's deed. He had me buy it for him. His name is listed as a secondary name because that's how the realtor said it had to be done. So yeah, I can kick you all out and he'd have to take me to court. I can also take back the full armory outside the crossbows and swords he already had." She glared, starting to tap a foot. "Other people do important things and I'm allowed to have dinner with my ex. Even if another one took out that one for some reason. Tell Destiny I'll get the one who took out her dad for her. She doesn't have to go kill her." Buffy whined. "Basically." He smirked then at Willow. "You, butt out of my sex life. I don't butt into yours. I'd like the same courtesy."

"You date evil things!"

"That's why you had the crush on me for years, Willow." Willow started to squeak and make angry noises. She tried to throw a spell at her but Xander threw something from his pocket on her and she shrieked. "No magic, dear. You know trying to take out a human will call the coven here to deal with you." He smiled. "Not that you shouldn't go back. Today. I heard about Andrew's date."

"What about Andrew's date?" Buffy demanded, looking at Willow. "She was really nice. Kind of geeky but nice."

"She was until Willow gave her address to a vampire," Xander said casually. He walked back toward them. "Beyond that, we've got problems brewing in the US," he said quietly, staring at Buffy. "You need to evac *everyone* in the US to England. Today."

"Why?"

He smiled. "That little weapons cache I stumbled into? It's got leads back to a lot of evil, including some turned agents and politicians. Worse than the 'I sold myself to a demon' sort that plague us." She winced and called Giles. No answer. He handed her his phone. "I had a chaos mage make sure no one could interfere with it, including Willow since she's tried to interrupt me talking to my trainees."

"I did not!"

"You did and it nearly got Hala dead," he shot back. She flinched, shaking her head. "Great job, Willow. Has Ethan Rayne come to talk to you about Janus yet?" She huffed and disappeared. Xander held up his emergency transport key. She had her own so they went back there. Willow was ranting at Giles. He leaned in. "I'll talk with Destiny in a moment but HYDRA's still around and infesting the US government. Including agents and politicians. You need to clear everyone in the US today."

"I can do that," he said. "You're on the house's deed?" Xander got it out to show it to him. "Why did you do that?"

"The realtor said it had to be done that way. I wasn't your real estate agent to be buying things for you and even an assistant would have to be on the paperwork. I could fill out the deed transfer papers and do that but it does tend to protect things. Like the agents that came after your money that once." He smiled. "Also, fire me and watch me take back everything in the armory." He walked off. "Destiny?" he called. She came down the stairs, staring at him. "I'll get Gretchen. Leave her to me."

"She said she didn't need the competition taking her spot with the snake headed things. She sent me a letter of condolence." She ran up to get it and came back down with it.

"Hmm. She's HYDRA too. Your dad would've loved to have beaten her to death for that because he's not a Nazi." He looked at her. "I'll get her. All you girls go pack. The US is going to have fits in the next few days."

"Vision?"

"Knowledge. I found so many dirty agents to the same source. They don't like us but we're a source of strength the good agents could hide behind." She nodded, going up to tell the others to pack for a long field mission. Buffy came jogging up to go over what was going on and agreed. They got the whole house packed and Buffy dragged Willow with them so she could visit the coven. Xander waved as they left. "Have fun, be safe. Giles, take the important stuff with you."

"I have. Be safe here, Xander."

He grinned. "What's the worst that could happen? The US seizes up and has a civil war?" Giles shuddered as they got the coven to move them and the specially, magically, packed things. Xander went to check the house, turning off Andrew's batch of cookies he had left for him since they were done. The food was nicely stuff he could use. The rest was leftovers he could eat on for the next week. So that was good. He turned up the shields on the house and went to watch some tv. It was almost as good as camping in a cave with nagging AI's.

***

Two days later, Tony Stark woke up to an alarm. Someone was trying to raid the compound and lab. He got up and headed for his weapons. Not demons at least but agents. They could hold them off and figure out what was going on. He came out, Iron Man glove on his hand. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded to the agent he let wake up from the sedative gas that a breach released automatically.

"You're an enemy of the US government."

"No I'm not. I'm an enemy of stupid but I know exactly why they're doing this. I found someone's panties down to quote someone else. Sorry, I can't let you do this and everything's already out of here. It's all protected from the snakes at HYDRA." The agent's eyes went wide. He smirked. "Neat trick by the way." He zapped him and walked off. The compound was empty. Everything had been moved the day before. Only he was still over here and he had a helicopter waiting. Natasha had paused to get Barton, his dog, and Hill to Coulson's team but she was already gone too. Let's see them self destruct without anyone in the way.

***

Clint walked onto the plane that had to land to refuel, his dog walking with him. Hill was behind him. He hauled off and punched Coulson. "That's for making me find out on my own, sir."

Phil touched his lip with a fingertip then stared at him. "If you were really mad you would've shot me."

"Yeah, but I'm mellow right now. The US is presently going to hell thanks to HYDRA." He smirked and shot Ward then May in the arm. "I don't trust double agents, even if they're only double to Fury. Or HYDRA goons." He looked at the three others and smiled, waving the hand with the gun. "Hi. He's my handler. I'm possessive and I like the two geeks. Skye, some day you'll prove to us what sort of agent you'll be. Not like agents trust all that hard usually." He looked at Coulson. "So, let's go. Even the Council evacuated. Harris was the guy who found the AI of Howard Stark and all the HYDRA stuff."

"HYDRA?" the two geeks said in unison. Clint smiled and nodded. "Oh, crud," they said together then looked at each other before looking at Hill.

"The science lab and the academy are both locked down," Hill said calmly. "So are all the other facilities rated below a level 8 clearance. Director Fury's had a little over a week to make plans." They nodded. "Settle in, we're going to England to rendevous."

Coulson felt the cold nose against his arm and looked down. "Hi, who're you?"

"That's Lucky. He's a great friend. I rescued him." He walked him off. "Let's pee while we refuel, Lucky. Then I'll go fly the plane." Lucky ran off to water and crap on some bushes then followed his human back inside to oversee the refueling. "It'll be okay, Skye. As long as you don't turn on us, we'll leave you alone."

"I need to hack some stuff," she said, looking at Ward's body. Then at him. "Why him?"

"He was HYDRA," Hill said. "We can't allow any of them around us. Agent May was in league with Fury over Agent Coulson's revival. Agent Barton was a bit upset with her over that."

"I wasn't allowed to tell him," Coulson said.

"Yay," Clint called back. He looked over as a familiar redhead settled in next to him. "Thought you were in France."

"I was but a contact needed removed immediately so I had to come remove her and her child for their own safety." He nodded. She logged into her console and looked it over. "Why is the refueling truck taking so long?" He shrugged. She went to check. The people manning it were dead, and not by their hand. She shot the agents coming out to bother them. "Interesting ploy. Not very effective though." She got grazed and killed that one harder. "Pity, I liked this jumpsuit. It's well broken in." She got the refueling restarted and made sure they were fully ready to hit a northern airport to jump across the atlantic ocean. Then she went back inside once it was done. The ramp came up behind her. She nodded at the two geeks. "Fitz, Simmons. First aid kit?" Simmons came over to bandage the graze. "Thank you. We're going overseas."

"That's fine with us," Fitz said. "Better that than this right now."

She smiled slightly. "Definitely. Even the slayers left. Though they did try the house and Harris called in a debt to eat the ones holding him who were HYDRA." She walked off, going back to the cockpit. She slugged Coulson herself on the way past. "I was not amused."

"I know, Natasha. If I could have...." She stared at him. He smiled, touching the newly reopened split lip. "You know how he is."

"Yes. The more obscure he is about things, the more illegal or unsavory it is." She went upstairs, settling in to help Clint fly the plane. "Where?"

"Nova Scotia. Then we'll refuel, do the atlantic, and hit London." She nodded. He started take off procedures and taxied the plane out to the runway. The agents had gotten the control tower since they didn't respond. He called that in on his cellphone before they took off. He looked back when Coulson joined them. "Stark called Jane Foster a few days back and warned her that the whole team was coming her way for safety reasons. To meet them at a certain monument at a certain time to get briefed and they'd keep her and her interns safe. Banner's already there. He landed last night."

"Good to know. You're sure Ward was HYDRA?"

"Yup," Clint said. "Hill and I ran into a few who tried to stop us so we asked politely." Coulson nodded. "The guy said that one was going to take out the Cavalry so she couldn't do her thing."

"That's Ward then." He sighed. "Where are we heading?"

"England." He looked back. "Harris found it."

"That figures. Xander can do that."

Natasha looked at him. "He found they had made an AI out of Howard Stark's brain before they killed him." He stared at her. "Harris had to get in touch with Stark and Xander said Howard nagged him like the slayers do."

Coulson shook his head. "Then I'll expect Stark to be this side of hair pulling." She nodded. "Are all the vulnerable evacuated?"

"Three are not but were warned and they could handle their own needs," she said. "I had to come back to move Misty and her mother."

He nodded, going back to talk to Hill now that she had calmed down with the dog watching her. He sat down on the couch. Lucky looked at him and barked. "You're a good boy and your human is up those stairs," he said with a point. Lucky seemed to salute him. "You're really weird but a good friend for Clint, Lucky." He reached out slowly and the dog let him pet him. "Good boy. Get to know the others please. Don't bite Skye." He went to sniff the other humans. The injured one growled but he growled back so she backed down. He had bigger teeth and Hill had disarmed her. She didn't want Barton to kill her for hurting his dog. The other three petted him and he was happy with them.

Coulson looked at Hill. "I don't know, Phil. I know that we were core rotted with HYDRA," she said quietly. "Only four senior handlers weren't involved. Sitwell was HYDRA." He glared. She nodded. "Garret was with me when I found out he turned but Barton showed up in time to get him for me."

"How did they do this?"

"We let Nazi scientists have positions over here after the war. Howard and others complained but they were told it was post-war feelings and to get over it." He sighed, shaking his head. "Zola had an AI of himself at the original SHIELD office. That's how he knew how to do Howard's." She drank a sip of her coffee. "You know that jutted jaw that Rogers has when he starts to get stubborn?" Phil gave her a pointed look. "He went past that after a day of seeing Howard's AI. He's gotten to the point of willing to come back to crash a plane into this version of HYDRA." He smiled a tiny grin. "He's not alone either."

"I didn't figure he was. Who has he been working with?"

"Natasha. Fury's sent them with a team a number of times."

"Great. It's good they can work together." She nodded, finishing the coffee. "Go nap on my office couch, Maria." She smiled and went to do that. He went down to the lab where the other three were. With the dog. "Anything?"

"HYDRA's all over the place," Skye said. "I've warned some of the Rising Tide about them so they could scatter. They've been releasing information to the press all day apparently. One of them found Howard's AI. He put out who he knew was, including implicating the president's family. His wife was found to be HYDRA earlier but he has so far not come out as more than horrified and worried for his kids. Who are in a safe location in Europe." Coulson nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "All the SHIELD buildings are under total lockdown. No access to anything. Computers are restricted from contacting outside. The phones are all monitored. The Triseklion is in huge trouble. They found a thing going on there with the new helicarriers being built and shut it down. There's generals heaving fits on tv," she finished, looking at him.

"We figured it would. How many other agencies are compromised?"

"All of them," Fitz said, slumping as he looked up. "Not as much as SHIELD but they all have multiple sleeper cells within them. The Secret Service is having a tizzy since the Council people rescued the presidential and vice presidential kids just in case until the agents are checked. No one knows where the slayers are. The only one in known sight is Harris."

"He does that in purpose," Coulson agreed. "He's also got contacts to protect himself."

"One of the heads of the World Security Council was outed earlier," Skye said, pulling that up. "Demons turned him in after raiding a bank vault he had possession of with what the demon described as a torture team for a hostage. Said hostage was taken to England and given to Harris directly by what the demon said. He said he pitied that one greatly."

"Interesting. Any idea on who that was?"

"No," she said. "No information we can find even if we could hack in." She pulled up something. "We did look at the inventory of special objects when Fitz suggested it. I think they're in R&D too, Coulson." She pointed at one entry. Scepter of Loki, at off-site research facility in Germany. His face tightened. "We don't know what's going on."

"HYDRA always wanted the elemental cube. They had possession of it once. Captain America tossed it off a plane after getting rid of the Red Skull." He rubbed over an eyebrow. "Thankfully that's on Asgard."

"Is the staff part of it?" Fitz asked.

"No idea. I know it's got a glowing jewel in it like the cube. The Tesseract was under study when it opened a doorway to let Loki through. Erik Selvig was the head scientist on that project and now he's with Jane Foster in England the last I heard."

"So they're probably huddled up with UK agents?" Skye guessed.

"England had agents inside the old Council. I'm fairly certain they can trust them. The Council holds no known benefit for HYDRA outside being a wall others can hide behind," Simmons said. Coulson nodded at that. "I know one of the people there and I've written her an email. She said she could only say they were safe. They had refugees hiding from the bad things, and that anyone who needed something should find Xander. He's in the open to handle anything that comes up."

"Which is reasonable. Harris has a great bullshit meter I bet," Skye said.

Coulson smiled. "Quite. Harris is like a low pressure force of nature. By the time you realize he's run you over, it's already done with the storm of adjustment's gone." They all smiled. "He also had training service in Africa and lower Central America. He has some contacts from those who have dated him and probably in some African governments. If they didn't make sure the girls were still girlish, he could probably take most of the slayers and have them hidden within a few areas in Africa or Central America."

"I can't imagine Buffy being in a dirty environment," Simmons said. "Whenever they show her on tv she's fashionably clad and perfectly coifed."

"She's had her events of slime and mud," Coulson said. "All the slayers have. But yes, she used to be the fashionable cheerleader sort." They all shook their heads. "I don't think she'd have a lot of trouble adapting unless it was a low water area so she couldn't bathe as often."

"I don't really like being those places myself," Simmons said. She looked at the blinking screen on the virtual display. Skye was tapping on it and answering the message to her tumblr. "Anything good?"

"One of the other hackers checking in. Alexander Pierce was just dragged off in chains. There was press coverage. He looked right at the camera and said 'hail, HYDRA'. She thinks it'll activate other sleeper cells," she said as she typed. "The other hackers we know are all holding government servers shut so no one can get into them right now." She looked up at Coulson. "That way no one can erase or fudge anything."

"It's not a bad idea but they'll probably complain a lot."

"I would have put it on the internet," Natasha said from the doorway. Lucky bounded over to bark at her until she petted him. "Good afternoon, Lucky." She looked at Coulson. "We've been ordered to land by the Secret Service. I have said that we are not HYDRA. We are all cleared agents of SHIELD."

"Do we know them?"

"It's the vice-director."

"Do it," he said, following her. The dog came with them to the cockpit. "This is Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD. Why are we being ordered to land?" he asked when he Clint handed over the microphone.

"Agent Coulson, we believe you have an agent on board who is compromised," the voice said.

"Agent Ward is no longer among the living."

"That's good. Where are you heading?"

"To safety with the two Avengers on board."

"Agreed. You are cleared to land at the airport filed in your flight plan to refuel and head over. MI-5 is aware you are coming and is not going to fuss. You're not the only one apparently."

"Thank you. Call me privately if you need anything."

"I can do so, Agent Coulson. Can your hacker release things?"

"No," Natasha said, taking it. "It was ordered to keep things from disappearing. Have the UK agents gotten in touch with any other SHIELD Europe offices?"

"No clue. I can check."

"Suggest it to the ones around Harris please. Plane out." She hung up and looked at him. He nodded and patted her on the shoulder, sitting down to talk to them while petting the dog.

***

Xander looked up from having lunch when an agent in an uptight suit stopped beside him. "I'm being a good boy."

"Why should SHIELD Europe be talking to foreign agents?"

"Because things in R&D at SHIELD have been taken by the HYDRA agents. I'm told Loki's Scepter is one," he said quietly.

"Oh, dear Lord," he muttered.

Xander, having heard that from Giles, knew how far up the 'oh fuck' scale that was. "The slayer over near there has contacts who said that same lab has test subjects." The agent stared at him. He stared back as he took a bite of sandwich and chewed. The agent grimaced but nodded, going to pass that on. They knew which slayers were where. The UK paid attention to such things after they had learned about the Council. Xander was listening to some old biddies in the corner complaining about what was going on in the US and about how England should revoke their independence to fix all that. It was amusing but he was sure someone might try.

He smiled at the bouncy young woman who walked in. He whistled at her, earning a scowl but she did a double take and came over to talk to him. "Miss Lewis. How are things?"

"What is going on?" She sat down then went to order lunch then came back with it. "Can we help any?"

"Right now, you and Jane are helping. Sometimes, being a home base and an external point of contact is the help that's needed. That's why I'm doing the things I'm doing."

She nodded. "It's freaking us out."

"Stark can do that to nearly anyone by twisting their minds up in science." He ate a bite and smiled as he chewed. "It'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. The US will still be standing and there'll be a lot of job openings soon so maybe some unemployment will be eased." She smiled but dug into her lunch, moaning at the flavor. "It is good. Nearly as good as you'd get in Morocco."

"You've been?"

"A few times. I was the one training slayers in Africa." One of the old biddies glared at him. He glared back. "Not like they wouldn't die quickly without the training so they could protect their own people at home."

"At home?" she demanded.

"The new Council doesn't take girls from their families unless someone like CPS steps in to take them from their families. We train them at home these days. They may come for some final years of training if they want to patrol but mostly it's home based and we give them what they need to have a slightly normal life for as long as they can. The oldest slayer has been doing it now for eleven years this fall." She shuddered. "A number of the girls have gotten married, had families, or have careers and families. We support the girls like it's a huge military sorority these days."

The guy in the back shouted. "Oh, please," Xander called back in that language. "I saved your damn village twice in a year." The guy looked out then smiled and came out to hug Xander before going back there. "Some of us did a whole lot of training. Including of other militaries and villages." The old biddy huffed. "Sorry but we're all field people now. We go for the practical, not the fanciful. Outside the unicorn one of the witches pulled." The old biddy whined but they finished up and left. Xander shrugged, digging back into his lunch.

"Unicorns are real?" Darcy asked.

Xander smiled and nodded. "They pulled her from another realm. She's with one of the younger coven witches to be fussed over."

"Can Jane look at that stuff? It might help her research."

"All she has to do is ask Giles."

"I'll let her know. Are dragons real?"

"Yup, and Asgard has a few." Darcy grinned and they finished eating. By the end of the meal, Bruce Banner walked in. "Try the pork, Dr. Banner. It's excellently moist."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris." He ordered some for himself and something for Tony too. He looked at him. "Unicorns?"

"No, unicorn. We found the little witchling and her mother nearly beat her to death for pulling mystical creatures over here. That's why she's taken a vow of chastity so she can take care of her unicorn." Bruce nodded then sighed and shook his head. "Her pulling was warping something ritual Willow was doing to keep the hellmouths closed tighter so we had to call over there."

"I don't need to know," Banner decided. "Have you heard anything new?"

"Your handler's coming over. He should be here tonight with your teammates."

"Handler... Huh?"

"Stark knows."

"Oh, okay. Anything else?"

"We pointed out some things had been stolen from R&D to be taken to HYDRA bases. They're looking into it."

"A hacker I know from college has said that they're working together to keep all the government's computers tied down right now so nothing can be accessed, erased, or dumped," Darcy said.

"That's probably a good thing but someone will get mad."

"They'll get mad tomorrow, when they think they've arrested everyone. I'd suggest the Rising Tide has lists they can put out and probably have been. They're a bit savvy about political messes."

"Hopefully. If not, maybe we can talk to them. Thanks, kids." He paid for the lunches and left.

Xander grinned at Darcy. "Want to go to the movies with me?"

"I'm probably not the sort of girl you date, Mr. Harris."

"I don't mind sweet and nice but you're not dangerous enough to be mine. I meant in a non-date way. I don't have time to date right now and if I'm with someone then others will try harder not to attack either of us. A few of my ex's were messed up in all that. I've gotten the one that nearly got me arrested in LA. His daughter thanked me for it." He grinned. "The MI-5 people were not happy that she had such ties. I went with making her so miserable she committed suicide instead of outright killing her for it. She had drugged me and my date then killed him and left me there." Darcy shook her head but was smiling. "He was a nice guy, got me plenty of weapons for the slayers." She smiled more brightly. "The newest horror movie is playing. I'll treat since I have money."

"Sure," she decided. She sent Jane a text message and finished her lunch so they could go watch a movie. It was good until they came out to find a few demons being butts to officers. Then Xander huffed, pulled a sword, and asked them what they were doing. The demons sneered but the two slayers who were patrolling London showed up before they got done posturing so it was a short fight. Xander didn't even get that messy.

"Didn't Buffy tell you to quit fighting the demons because of your eye?" one of the slayers demanded.

Xander stared at her. "Shut up before I behead you next, slut." She huffed off. He looked at the other slayer. "I'll try to get you a different patrol partner since her STI clearly went to her brain again."

"Thanks, Xander. Most of us girls appreciate you helping us. It means we get less messy." She hugged him then smiled. "Hi, I'm Candida."

"Darcy Lewis. I'm Jane Foster's intern and assistant."

"Jane is Thor's girlfriend and the lady who'd like to rebuild the rainbow bridge," Xander told her.

"Oh! Has she talked to Canada about her thingy?"

"I hadn't thought of her but I suggested Jane go talk to Giles about the unicorn incident. That's not a bad idea." He sent that to Buffy and to replace the slut with a slayer with sense. "Thanks, Candida. Have a good afternoon."

"You too, Xander." She bounded off with a wave to the officers. Xander hid his sword and did the same, walking off with Darcy.

"Slayers are bouncy," Darcy said.

"That one lives on Nerds."

"That'd make me bouncy too," she agreed, smiling at him. He grinned back. "You sure it'll be okay?"

"I'm fairly certain it'll be okay. Messy for a bit but okay. And hey, the demon owing politicians can step up and try to prove their worth because we released a list of them earlier on purpose. That way they can take them out at the same time." She punched him on the arm and he grinned back. "What? It may help. They keep annoying us to no end." He took her back to the shared apartment, Darcy letting them in. "I return your intern in one amused piece, Lady Jane." She looked up, staring at him. "Two things. The rest of the Avengers will be in tonight. Except Thor. Willow is considering that we might need him and how to summon him. Then again, she thinks summoning Loki to take over the US might stop all the shit too, and do it cleaner."

Jane shook her head with a sigh. "She's ... well, she has *mentors* for a reason at times. Secondly. You might ask Mr. Giles about how we got a unicorn from another realm one night thanks to a tiny witch with ideas and you also might mention that you heard the Slayer Canada had opened a portal by accident to one of the other nine realms last year." She stared at him. He wrote down a phone number. "That's his home phone and he's there right now, or should be. He may be hiding in the library from one of the girls. Tell him I told you to call if you want to ask him about those. We take reports on how it happened but not scientific data."

"I can do that. Thank you, Mr. Harris. Was Darcy okay?"

"Yeah. We had lunch, went to a movie. She watched me deal with a few demons who wanted to own some officers with two slayers. Watched me verbally smack one for being a slutty dickhead." Jane smiled. "She's fine. I'll let you know if I see a hair of Asgardian buttcake. Because most of them are. I've ran into some warriors who got displaced down here on purpose and they're huge dicks." He bowed and left.

Jane looked at Darcy. "You went on a date?"

"No, we went to hang out protectively together in public so people could find us if they needed to. He even bought the movie tickets."

"That was sweet of him." She shook her head. "We need to call him." She grabbed the house phone to call Mr. Giles to talk about that matter. "This Dr. Jane Foster. Mr. Harris said to talk to Mr. Giles about a few magical incidences that are related to my field of the Einstein-Ronsen bridge." She listened to the confused slayer.

Darcy took the phone. "Dear, she's trying to recall Thor from Asgard for nookie and Xander said to talk to Mr. Giles about a unicorn and what a slayer named Canada did." The slayer said 'oh, that stuff' and yelled for Giles until he showed up to take the phone. She handed it back and walked off to start dinner so Jane would eat after the talk. It wasn't a long one but Jane clearly made a date for lunch with him upcountry in two days.

***

Clint landed the plane and looked at Natasha, who nodded. They went back and found everyone locking the plane down for a small stay. Including emptying the fridge. They walked back to the loading bay, Natasha taking the keys for the SUV there.

Skye pointed. "What about his car?"

"Only Coulson drives Lola unless you're taking him to an ER," Clint said with a grin for her. "It's his baby. We don't touch his baby." He opened the back door for the dog, who settled into the storage area with the boxes of stuff. Skye, Fitz, and Simmons got into the SUV with them and Natasha backed them down the ramp. May and Coulson needed to talk. She drove her to the hotel they had planned to meet Stark at. The plane's landing ramp closed once Hill was out and it was towed into a storage hanger, which already had agents on guard. Coulson waved at one, getting a smile and a wave back. So it'd be safe. These guys knew Coulson from before.

They got to the hotel and found Stark waiting on them. He got into the SUV, making Skye sit back with the dog. "Let's go toward Birmingham," Stark said with a point. He handed Natasha a marked map. She smiled and drove off. Phil followed, putting the hood up on his convertible. It was getting a bit chilly. "Skye, have they released the list of names?"

"Yes. We also got another list released from the Council of people who pimped themselves for power. I guess they figured it was a good time."

"It is," Clint agreed, glancing back at them. He looked at Stark. "Steve okay?"

"He's really mad. I have the feeling he wants to go destroy things himself. Harris put Jane Foster on with his boss to talk about how magic works for cross-realm trips. They're meeting soon at his estate."

"He has an estate?"

"Yes, he does. He's from old money apparently. A lot of the older families in the old Council were. He has horses."

"I'm sure the girls around him like that."

"There was a problem earlier and the two in London handled it with Harris, while Foster's assistant Lewis watched, but then one of them snarked at Harris so Harris called her a slut with diseases rotting her brain." Clint burst out laughing. "Yeah, they're keeping them being girls. We have heard Harris warned he was going somewhere to check on someone tomorrow so he won't be in touch then. Not sure why."

"Who knows with him," Natasha said. "He could be rescuing one of the slayers. He could be rescuing an artifact from someone involved."

"Is he trained for that?" Simmons asked.

"No," Natasha said. "But he did learn how. He's very hyper and he's very loud when he has to do something of the sort. He tends to rely on contacts to help him do such things. He has done it a few times though."

Stark nodded. "That's good to know. What if he's injured?"

"The slayers will nag more," Natasha said. "They always do."

Stark grimaced. "He needs more guys around him. The Council could use more field people anyway."

"They won't hire anyone who might be tempted to be a spy for someone," Natasha said. "That's reasonable but it does limit the pool of people who can handle things since they have a strong bias against the military."

"Why?" Stark asked. "I found a sealed file."

"That's all I found. It was sanitized. However, the court case had all those sealed files within it. They are locked up, but what was able to be found electronically was ...disturbing. Very something Steve would have stopped in the old days." She yawned then cleared it up. She checked the map. Only a few more miles.

"Want me to drive?"

"I'm well rested. I napped for the last two hours," she said. "Thank you though." He nodded, relaxing. "These are Fitz and Simmons, an R&D team. Skye is the hacker Coulson brought in who had been Rising Tide. With Coulson is Agent May, who was reporting to Fury directly about his health."

"I winged her and I left Ward's body where the guards who'll be nosy in a bit can find him," Clint said. "We left Hill there to explain his body to the guards before she disappears. He had been a level seven agent who was HYDRA."

Stark nodded. "We've seen the partial list. Steve's strike team was on it." Natasha stiffened and glanced back at him. "Rumlow was a section leader."

"Fuck," she said quietly in Russian. Clint reached over to rub her arm. "The whole team?"

"As far as Steve could tell."

"Are they alive?"

"Arrested. If he finds them outside, I doubt it'll be that long before he fixes it."

"He will have help," she said in English. "Thank you for that warning."

"Welcome. One of the senior agents Coulson trained with was turned too."

"Got him to save Hill. I'm sure she disappeared to wherever Fury is."

"He's in Paris," Stark said. "Very romantic if she wants to join him and work off their mutual stress. The new AI twitted him so much he walked out looking like he took a full bus up the ass."

Clint grinned. "I love it when he gets that look due to mission reports." Natasha swatted him. Natasha got pointed at a driveway and took it to the nice house. They all got out, nodding at Phil and May when they parked and got out. They walked inside and Steve came jogging down the stairs to meet them. "Hey, Captain."

"Clint, Natasha." He stared at her. "Did he tell you?" She nodded. "If I find them, I'll make sure they pay for it."

"You'll have help."

He smiled. "Thanks." He looked at them then at Tony. "We're holding a meeting in Tony's sitting room. Agent Coulson." He nodded back. "Should I ask how?"

"It involves weird stuff from aliens, torture, and Fury screwing with his brain so he thought he had been in Tahiti," Skye said.

"That sounds like Fury," Natasha sighed. "We'll talk on that later. Stark, rooms?"

"Three rooms."

"Fitz and I have shared a room before without incident, Mr. Stark," Simmons said with a smile for her lab partner. "I've fallen asleep on his arm a number of times without incident."

"Great. Skye, couch. Coulson, room with the single bed. Barton and Romanoff can take the room with the queen and argue." They all nodded and found the rooms then the Avengers, plus Coulson, went to the meeting in Tony's sitting room. "Bruce." He smiled and nodded, staring at Coulson. "Alien stuff plus torture and mind screwing."

"That figures," Banner decided. "Are you okay, Agent Coulson?"

"I'm at about ninety percent of where I was but I'm all right," he said. "I've been handling field agent duties with my present response team." He sat down in a chair. "I had no idea what had happened until the memory overlay started to unravel."

"Which is why Agent May has a hole in her arm," Clint quipped with a grin. He sat on the foot of the bed. Natasha perched next to him. "How are we handling things?" he asked quietly, losing the happy exterior.

"Right now, we're back together as a team. We're looking at the agents around us," Steve said.

"I'm only loyal to Natasha and Coulson," Clint said, staring at him. "I trust them with everything and anything."

"I like that honesty," Steve agreed. "You've been in multiple battles together and I get that. I felt the same way about the Commandos and the rest of the military." Clint grinned. "Natasha?"

"I feel much the same," she agreed. "I trust people to act mostly in ways that they've trained to react. I've watched how Stark does things and know what to expect of him usually. Not always, but usually," she said with a nod toward him. He smirked back. "I know how Dr. Banner reacts to some stimuli and situations so I'm prepared to help him with those."

"Thanks. You didn't get much time to study me."

"I had nearly two months to study Stark," she said. "Working for Pepper was one of the strangest jobs because it wasn't just company things and it wasn't social obligations that were the weird part."

"Not my fault Vanko did that," Stark complained.

"That wasn't the weirdest thing either," she said. "Did you ever resolve the demon in your lab problem?"

"Is he a problem? Harris mentioned him."

"I have no idea," she admitted. "I could not talk to him. He did a wonderful job of avoiding me."

"Harris said his people had a better intelligence net than the CIA," Stark said with a shrug. She smiled at that tidbit. "I'll call him in so we can ask." She nodded. "I don't want someone watching me to make sure I don't blow up the earth. I don't need it."

"You usually do not," she agreed. "Thankfully. Otherwise I might still be a PA for Miss Potts. Is she all right?"

"She is in Japan at the local office there. Highly protected. Happy's with her." They all nodded. "She said she talked to the head of security and the two industrial spies we had got canned immediately instead of being floated bad information and he told friends in the government so they could lock down anything that HYDRA might have compromised."

"Good," she agreed. "Are we going to need to respond as a team?"

"PR?" Steve guessed.

"Possibly," Stark agreed. "I'm leaving that up to Pepper. She'll tell us if she needs us to make a statement or to show up. She's got friends in other places to help with that." Everyone nodded. "I'm hoping we don't have a battle during that." He snapped his fingers. "We made contact with Jane Foster. She's all right and in science land but handling things. Darcy is being her 'I'm in the open, talk to me if you want Jane' shield. The same way Harris is for the Council."

"Harris earlier told Darcy to tell Jane to talk to Mr. Giles about some cross-realm stuff," Bruce said. "Apparently a young witch with the coven decided she wanted to pull a unicorn to this realm."

Clint looked up then at Natasha, who shook her head. "No, I don't want to know," he decided. "If it helps her recreate the rainbow bridge so she gets more Thor time, I'm good with that." Stark grinned at him. "Magic is really weird."

"It is," Stark agreed. Bruce nodded to back him up. "There's some in the scientific community who deny the very existence even when it's happened to them." He cracked his neck and sighed. "Now what?"

"I think we need to show that we're together and not for HYDRA," Steve said.

"Call Pepper," Stark said. "I leave that up to her. She understands that stuff better than I do." Steve nodded. "If so, I'll stand with you for that press conference."

"Thanks, Tony. Are you all right? I mean with Howard and all?"

"I have a huge headache over that. Frankly, I'm ready to donate him to the Smithsonian."

Steve grinned. "I figured it might be upsetting."

"A lot. Thankfully we did rescue his former mainframes and they're presently in storage at MIT. He's talked to a teacher over there to restart him so he can at least pass on some knowledge and learn new things. Which is fine. He can stay at MIT. He'll do good teaching there. If I ever spawn I'll send my kids there. Maybe."

Natasha smirked at him. "It could be worse. He could be a ghost floating around haunting you."

"He'd like that." He smiled though. "I think we all know what parent issues are like."

"Putting on spandex does usually include some sort of trauma," Clint quipped. "Can we lock Howard and Willow Rosenburg from the Council in a room together?"

"I'm not sure who would warp and destroy who," Stark said, considering that.

"She was considering pulling Loki to end the strife," Natasha said. "Said it might be less messy."

"I think there's a hell no being heard somewhere," Stark quipped.

"Hell no," Steve agreed then sighed. "Doesn't she have morals?"

"This is the perfect time for some overlord sort to try to take over," Clint admitted. "Tactically, the US government is at a weak and recovering point. It's not that hard to find a charismatic leader to gather behind. Before I'd pick Loki I'd pick Harris."

"He's too young to be president," Stark said. "Or I might join you. We can handle a campaign."

"He'd kill us," Natasha said. "For even hearing that idea. Beyond that, his contact network of arms dealers, assassins, and commandos would be looked at oddly by most people. Though they would probably go all mushy when they courted him." She looked at Clint. "That's how I got the missile system I turned in. One gave it to him and I found out so I told him I was making Xander turn it over. It was too large for a slayer to need to use. He agreed and said it was too large to sell outside of groups he didn't want to support. That's why he had given it as a gift." She smiled. "He then gave him a ruby necklace, shaped like a sword and shield, and took him on a boat ride in Venice to get him away from a few demons who wanted to kill him for stopping their cousin's plans. It was very romantic."

"The canals in Venice stink," Clint said.

"He took him out into the ocean."

"That's sweet. What did that one do?"

"He sold arms and weapons designs to groups in Europe who did not want to take over the world." Clint raised an eyebrow, staring at her. "Hiens."

"Fuck," Clint said, but he was smiling. She nodded. "I wondered what had made him soft and squishy."

"Dating Xander."

"People, he doesn't do it to everyone," Coulson said.

Stark looked at him. "I heard what he called you." Coulson scowled at him. Stark grinned back. "Is he sweet?"

"We had to pretend to get into an event that was selling people. I had to rescue a few agents. He was rescuing the sister of a slayer. And yes, he was very nice during the pretend dating. Even if he did consider a bar brawl a fun event."

Natasha nodded. "When I was sent to question him, he made me almost instantly and told me where I had gone wrong because I wasn't the sort to usually approach him."

"I think you are," Coulson said.

"I was not one of the fangirls that come up to him. I used charm and tact around him. I had no interest in how many weapons he was carrying, especially not the pretty dagger he had in the open. So we chatted about his former dates over dinner and a few glasses of wine. I did teach him more about wine. He definitely grew up lower class." Clint looked at her. "Nearly as bad as yours, yes." He grimaced. "He's much like a son you raised that came between you and Steve." Steve smiled but shook his head.

"Wow," Clint said. "Weird thought. Which one of us carried him?"

"I don't need to know," Steve said.

"You probably," Coulson said. "You're the one who nearly tripped into the machine that had a fertility beam."

"Thanks for destroying that for me, Nat."

"You're very welcome. I'd hate to see your children acting like your dog." Clint grinned at her for that.

They all looked up at the sound of fizzling, like something was burning air. "That was magic," Stark said. He got up to go look, finding an older, tired looking witch in the entryway. "Yes, ma'am? Did you miss your target?"

"Mr. Stark?" He nodded. She handed over a thick envelope. "All the slayer dreams and the two visions of hell coming that your team needs to fix."

"Thank you."

"You're most welcome. We've been up all day with the girls having nightmares." She rubbed something on her throat and left.

He went back upstairs. "Visions." He let Steve see the slayer dreams while he looked at the visions. "Harris had this when someone said the magic words that tripped it." He let the others see them, going over the slayer dreams. "Sure, I won't try to spare us work. Why would I name something Ultron?" He grimaced. "Boring name." He passed those on.

Steve shook his head. "Please don't, Tony."

"I won't."

"Thanks." He passed on the last few he had.

"Are your original AI and the new one getting along?" Natasha asked as she read.

"No," Tony said. "I've forbidden JARVIS to do more than talk to him about things. JARVIS suggested a nice online porn place when Dad was moping about all the changes in life. That way he could go back to his old methods of relieving his angst." Steve burst out laughing. "Sometimes he's a bit sassy. I don't want one to corrupt the other."

"I can't imagine Howard doing pornography," Steve said, smiling at him.

"Nah, he had bimbos," Tony said dryly. "That was all the porn he needed."

"Pot," Natasha started.

"Yeah, I know. In trying to avoid it, I became a more wild version of him. I'm better now. Pepper helped."

"It's good," Natasha said, staring at him. "It's much nicer to be around you as well." Tony scowled but oh well.

Steve cleared his throat. "I'm not going to say a word. I don't know you that well, Tony. It's not my place." Tony glared at him. "It's not. That's your life and you live it how you see fit."

"Thanks for the permission," he said blandly. He looked at Coulson. "Got anything to put in?"

"You have more style than your father had class."

"Thank you." He almost smiled at him. "Now what?"

"Let me talk to Pepper," Steve said, finding his phone to call her. "Pepper, is it too late to talk?" He smiled. "I think we need to say something. That would be great. Can you? Even better. Thank you, Pepper." He hung up. "She was planning on something the day after tomorrow, in the afternoon. Basically being caught out at lunch and making a statement." Stark nodded. "So I guess I have to wear a regular suit?"

"Might help," Tony agreed. "London is more uptight than New York is. I'd offer to share something with you but you're a lot bigger than I am."

"I have a suit."

"Good." He looked at the others. Bruce shook his head. "I understand, Bruce. Bring you back lunch?"

"Please if you can. Will they try to do anything like lock your accounts to act against you?"

"They tried that. We sued them and the judge agreed there was no cause. It lasted all of three hours so I lived off my accounts off shore."

"That's a good idea," Clint agreed. Natasha nodded. He looked at her. She shrugged. "You want to go to lunch with them?"

"I can do that. You guard the geeks?"

"I can do that," he agreed.

"Should we talk about the charming men you got the dog from?" she asked.

"No, I've handled them and I doubt the bro mafia guys are over here."

"Perhaps another version," she said. "Though probably less stupid." He nodded. Everyone was staring at them. "They're not well educated former soviet businessmen."

They all heard the fizzle and looked toward the hallway at the 'fuck, fuck, fuck' coming up the stairs. Xander knocked then leaned in. "Stark, we found a hugely complicated, slightly bad thing that you'll have to handle for everyone for the moment. HYDRA had people they were experimenting on and some have freezer burn. A few friends found them starting to wake one up, an assassin, and took him to a local hospital here. A contact in MI-5 wanted to know if we could identify him in the records. He's got bionic parts and all we've seen says his mind is toasted from them."

"I can be there tomorrow, Xander, where? And how did you get past the wards?"

"I'm amazingly letting a demonic contact help me do that." He handed over the file. "They didn't take a picture of his face for identification but they did of the bionic arm."

He flipped it open to look. "Damn."

"Yeah. They're real worried and I'm not sure why. Not like they'll tell me. We know they have others they're experimenting on. A slayer local to that base said so. Thanks. I'll be out of touch tomorrow." He disappeared. The door got shut by Steve.

Stark let Bruce look at it. He winced at the heavy scarring and the huge plate anchoring it. "That's bad," he agreed. "How old is it?"

"I don't know but I doubt it was soviet tech with the mark on his arm." Natasha casually snatched it to look at, frowning. "Know him?"

"Vaguely. I remember sparring with him." She looked at Coulson.

"You didn't get all the memories back from the Red Room," he said quietly. "Was he there?" She nodded. "Do you remember if he was an assassin?"

"I remember there was something oddly feral about him and they made him disappear for weeks on end." She handed it back. "That's not the original arm I remember but it was one of ours or theirs."

"Was he Red Room, HYDRA, or Soviet?" Steve asked.

"I do not know. At some levels it's impossible to tell. They probably shared scientists at one time or another." Clint rubbed her arm and she let him, but gave him a look. He smiled. "I'm fine."

"I know. Still, the old memories are hard with the way they pressed down on them." She nodded. "Do we think they did the same thing to him?"

"With the way Xander described his mind? Probably," Coulson agreed, taking the folder. "That's a lot of scarring. Tortured probably." He handed it back to Stark. "Let me know when they find out? Maybe we can dig up something on him to help them."

"I can do that. Will they charge him if he was brainwashed?" Stark asked.

"I don't know," Coulson said. "The US probably would try." Stark nodded. "We'll have to see who he was originally. If he was Russian originally they might not. If he was someone they stole, who knows."

"Okay, I'll call once I'm done." He closed the file and put it aside. It had an address label on the front for the hospital. The meeting broke up and everyone went to find a bed.

***
Part 2 by Voracity2
Stark walked into the hospital looking nice with his usual indoor sunglasses on. He smirked at the receptionist, presenting his ID. "I was told to come consult on a problem today." He held up the file. She found the post-it with his name on it. "Thank you." He took it up to the right floor and the guard there signed him in. "I need the tools, Junior."

"We'll hold them for you, sir. We're not sure if he'll wake up and you might be in danger if he grabs them."

"Sure." He got led to the right room, which the guard checked before opening the door. Tony walked in and stared for a minute, taking off his sunglasses. "I know him."

"Let me get the agent in charge, sir. Don't touch the patient." He left with the tool kit.

Tony sat down, staring at him. He moved some of the hair off his face, nodding. "Shit, this is going to suck for a few people," he said quietly. The agent walked in. Tony waved him over. "Give me my phone. I need to access some classified files."

"The guard said you knew him."

"My father knew him. I've seen him in pictures." The guard handed over his phone. He dialed into JARVIS. "It's me, JARVIS. I need a picture of the HC back during the war. Circa '44 before the crashes." One popped up on his screen. "Earlier." One popped up. "Better view on right quadrant, not on Peggy." It shifted. He held it up.

The agent took it to compare to the man on the bed. "Who was he?"

"JARVIS, end magnification." The picture went back to normal.

The agent tilted the phone to the side to see it all when the orientation changed. "That's Captain America.... that's during the war?"

"And that is the only Howling Commando that died during the war," Tony said with a point. "Steve's over here. We can ask him to positively identify his best friend."

"He's an assassin."

Tony took his phone back, getting into another file. "This is one we have on another agent. I'm pretty sure from what's been described, they did the same thing to him." He let him see it.

He grimaced. "Brainwashing."

"Memory alteration as well from what I heard last night when I got handed the file." He took his phone back. "What did you want me to do?"

"Disable the arm."

"That would be cruel. Why don't we ask him things? Because from what little I can see of his shoulder joint, it's hardwired to his spine and probably his brain." The agent winced. "It could kill him, yes." He stood up. "Is he sedated?"

"No clue," the agent admitted.

"Okay. JARVIS, give me some standard wake up noises." The phone played some and the guy on the bed jumped at the alarm, looking around panting. "Easy, soldier." He put a hand on his chest. "You're resting here. You were injured. Do you know your name?"

"I am the asset," he said in English, staring at him. "Do I have a mission?"

"The ones who had you may have but their cell was deleted," Tony said, staring at him. The man laid back down. Then sat up and scooted back. "We need to know what your status is so we can decide where to put you so you can have more missions."

The asset nodded. "I am trained for long distance elimination but have done others."

"Do you remember any of them?" Tony asked. "Any particular assignment?"

"The asset is not to remember. It is too dangerous." He looked around. "No machine?" he asked.

"No. That's there. Do you need it?" The man on the bed shook his head quickly. "Do you feel pain?"

"The asset is in tolerable boundaries."

"Hungry?" the agent asked.

"The asset could use fuel for future missions."

"I can get him something to drink," the guard said quietly, leaning out to call that out to another guard. "Sir, can you see if his arm has a weapon?"

Tony nodded. "Let me see your arm. I'm not going to disable it, just see if it has any specialties like self repair."

"No, the tech team fixes any repairs before I'm frozen again," he said, sounding cold and clinical. "They refuel me, wipe me, and put me back under until my next mission."

Tony felt like an ass. He wanted to swear at those people. Or kill them. "Do you know your original name?"

"No."

"How long have you been an asset?"

"I do not know."

"How many missions have you had?"

"I do not know." He accepted the glass of protein shake, drinking it quickly and without question. "Thank you."

"Welcome," Stark said. He looked at the agent. "We're going to talk outside. I'll be right back." The man nodded, looking around. He let the guard stay in there but took his tool kit to put on a chair in the hallway. "Well?" he asked quietly.

"That's a huge nightmare."

"I can get Rogers here for a positive identification."

"Wouldn't his military file have it?"

"From back then? They burned off his fingerprints. We didn't do DNA back then."

"Crap." He pulled out his phone. "Let me call this in." He walked off talking to his superior, who swore by the wincing the agent was doing. He came back. "He said we can't get information from him, we can't really charge him with past missions if he doesn't remember, but we don't think it's safe to have him out of custody."

"We can arrange custody so he can come home once things are settled."

"That may be acceptable. I'm pretty sure a lot of higher ups are wincing in sympathy of what's going on." Tony nodded. "Is he functional?"

"I can check his arm. It looks like it is. I still have to tell Rogers."

"We can handle that."

"Thank you." He walked back in there. "Hey." The man looked up at him. Tony checked his arm over. "Wiggle your fingers for me please." The man did that and then made a fist, letting the plates shift. "Flex your bicep." He did. "Any problems you notice with your arm?" The man shook his head. "Are you fully operational?"

"Yes. Is my uniform here?"

"No. They didn't think to grab it when they found you. In the next few days, we'll figure out where we're going to have you resting. That way we can see if anything needs healed. The 'frozen' thing, we don't think it's healthy and we're not going to do it to you again."

"Thank you. I did not like it."

"I'm sure you didn't. For right now, you're going to be in this room for a bit until we can arrange a better one. Understood?" The man nodded. "Someone will be coming up to see you by tomorrow evening to identify who you were. You're allowed to talk to him. Let him or the agent watching over you know if you remember anything."

"Will it define my later missions?"

"Yes," Tony said. "Also future training." The man nodded. "Things have updated and we think you need some updating training. Let the agent ask you about your skills with things like computers."

"I am trained to integrate myself to find information."

"That's good." He patted him on the metal hand. "I'll probably see you with the other one tomorrow. All right?" The man nodded. "Good. Rest, eat as needed. If they're not feeding you enough, tell them."

"I can do that."

"Good." He stood up and put on his sunglasses. "We'll see you soon." He walked out with the agent. "Rogers eats about four thousand calories a day to not lose weight," he said quietly. "He's already a bit skinny."

"We can arrange for him to have better food, Mr. Stark. Is it important that you come back?"

"Yes. It is. Because I can find stuff in my father's files on him."

"That's reasonable. We'll talk to you tomorrow." He watched him take his tool kit and leave. The agent called that in. His boss agreed. It might lead to busting some evil of their own. He did get the poor man some food. When another agency came in to try to take him over, they got referred back to the higher ups. Who denied their urges.

***

Tony walked into the house. "Steve! Need you outside, now!"

"Son, they're going to try to take him into custody to reformat him," Howard called from the room he was in. "I tapped into their phones."

"Even better. We can fix that shit." Steve came out of the kitchen. "Put it down before you choke." Steve gave him an odd look but put the sandwich down. He pulled up the same picture and pointed. "We found a guy who looks just like him in HYDRA custody. Brainwashed, no memories of anything."

Steve blinked. "I saw him fall off a train, Stark!"

"Doesn't mean he didn't survive and maybe that's why they rebuilt his arm." He stared at him. "JARVIS, pull up the pictures you took." He showed him. Steve wobbled and Tony helped him sit down. "The Brits are going to try to confiscate him."

"No! Hell no." He stood up. "Can we go check on him?"

"Yes." Steve picked up his sandwich to eat on the way there. Stark got him up to the right section, nodding at the guard. Who winced. "Higher ups?"

"Tried, sir."

"We're the fix to that." They got buzzed in and the agent came out, giving him a grateful look. "Not like I let torturing bastards do things." He let Steve into the room.

Steve walked in and sat down, staring at him. "Bucky?"

He stared at him. "I know you."

"You do know me."

"Why do I know you?"

"It's a long story." He looked him over. "Are you in pain?" He shook his head. "Stark?"

"Arranging it." He was making calls. Most any government would love a weapon like that in their hands. So he started with an untraditional one. "Harris, Stark. Bit of a weird thing with the guy they rescued." He winced. "No, I wouldn't put him with the vulnerable girls. He has no memory and the girls might warp him." He smiled at the smart answer he got back. "We need somewhere *safe* to rest him. Is that really safe? Anywhere closer to the US?" He nodded. "Please. Tonight. Now if possible. That's even better. We can do that. Thank you." He looked in there. "Steve, we're moving him somewhere safer before idiots in charge decide he's useful."

"Where?"

"One of Harris' exes for the moment. Then to somewhere even safer. We'll work on that later."

"Agreed." He broke the handcuffs holding Bucky's normal arm to the bed and helped him up and into the bathrobe the agent got him. "Thank you," he said, staring at him.

"I'd hate to see what some of ours did to him to make him ours, sir."

"Me too." He walked out with Tony, meeting a limo outside. He didn't know this person. "He's got almost no memories," he told the man.

"I've seen others it was done to, Captain," he said with a Russian accent. Bucky said something in Russian, making him smile. "Xander trusts me and I would never hurt what is claimed as his protected one. Until he is better, he is under Xander's protection." Steve nodded. "You can come with us. See him settled in the safe room I have." They drove off and Stark went to be a distraction in case someone spotted the limo.

***

Natasha showed up that night, kissing the man on the cheek. "Good evening, William."

"Natalia, you have only grown prettier since we both left the service." He smiled. "He is upstairs with his friend."

"Good." She went up to help. She knocked before walking in. "Steve."

He looked up with a smile. "Natasha."

"Natalia," the man on the bed said quietly. "I remember you sparring."

"You did help train me," she said, coming over to touch his cheek. "You need a shave." He shrugged. She smiled. "It will get better. The headaches with the memories will get better."

"Thank you." He looked at Steve then at her. "You two know each other?" They recognized a fact finding mode and Bucky trying to slot this new information into place in his fractured mind. They didn't mind him asking questions.

"We work together for someone not Russian."

"That's good. They used you wrong." She smiled. Steve relaxed some. "Are you here to take the watching hours?"

"Yes. I have pictures of the others who may show up so I can identify them to you and teach you about their weaknesses."

"Thank you."

"You are most welcome." She handed Steve her car keys. "I left the map machine on." He nodded and patted Bucky before leaving to talk to the man of the house then go back to Stark's present house. She settled in the same chair and looked him over. "Have you bathed?" He shook his head. "We will do that first." She got him up and helped him in there. He could walk and was steady but she knew how that could change when a memory decided to open up at the wrong moment. He gave her a look and she shrugged back. "I have been here myself." He nodded, getting into the shower. She had pajamas for him to put on instead. They could handle it tonight.

***

Stark and Steve walked into the lunch date together, looking relaxed. No reporters. By the time the got out, a lot of reporters. Stark looked around. "People, let's move away from the doorway so we can talk." They followed them up the street to a small park.

Steve looked around. "When someone found the HYDRA files, they told Stark, who told the rest of us to protect us while we started to work on it without tempting them to end game it."

One of the reporters raised a hand. "Then it was HYDRA, Captain?" He nodded. "We're sure?"

"We're certain," Stark agreed. "Someone found some stored files with some of my dad's stuff that those ones had taken. It had a file listing pay records." They groaned. "We found out later they had moved them to that cave because they had a fire in their storage facility." That got a bigger groan. "So when they found it and stuff from my father, they came to get me. Then I called people I mostly trusted to start handling it. Also Director Fury of SHIELD because it seemed to hinge around the bad agents there."

"When they told me, we started to plan raids but things were twisting worse when we found some politicians involved," Steve said. "We knew we'd have to remove ourselves to let the officials do it without trying to turn on us at the same time for finding this pit," Steve said. "It was the only way to protect some innocent beings from being persecuted for working somewhere."

"As proven by them trying to lock mine and the company's accounts," Stark said.

"Them going after the Council people because one of them found it," Steve added.

The reporter closest to Stark looked at him over the eyepiece of her camera. "Now what?"

"Now, we fight the remains that are left. We support the ones rebuilding. We make sure they can't sneak someone in to start it again so we don't have to do it again in twenty years. All the Avengers are just waiting for us to be needed for something."

"Are you all here?" one of them shouted.

"Yes," Tony said. "We all came over here to make sure all our people would be safe. We have agents we know we can trust and we've touched base with them to make sure it can't happen again and to help wherever we can."

"What about the senators who are calling you cowards for running?" one asked.

"We can't really do anything physical right now," Stark said. "It's best to be out of the way so no one has to worry about us. If we're needed back, we can hurry back. As for being cowards, I think you'll find that was one of the ones on the Council's list of those who sold part of themselves." The reporter closest to Tony lunged out with a knife but he blocked it and knocked her back. Steve snatched the knife and held her down until the officers watching them got her arrested. "Thanks," Stark said, smiling at her. "I needed to spar today. I haven't even boxed in a few days." She groaned. "Any others?" They all shook their heads, filming the arrest. He looked at Steve. "Next week?"

"If they're ready to have us back, yes."

"Good." He looked at the staring reporters. "If we won't be in the way next week, we'll go back to being the response team we are. And Barton's dog."

"The archer guy has a dog?" one asked with a smile.

"He rescued it from the Russian mob."

"Aww," a few said. "What's its name?"

"Lucky," Steve said with a smile. "He's great when you're worried. He even fetches for Clint." They smiled. "We would have stayed but we were truly in the way. It made people worry about what we might do. This way we can handle things and perhaps stop them from spreading unlegitimately. We've heard there's agents of HYDRA in other governments as well."

Stark nodded. "We've heard they got a few in Egypt the other day." The reporters nodded. "Anything else, people? We came out so you guys could get the questions out of the way. Before the brush fire of stupid conspiracy theories starts back up. Because the guy who thought I was in charge of HYDRA is a moron. You can quote me." He strolled off.

"Any idea who is in charge of it?" a reporter asked Steve.

"I've heard a name called Strucker noted a few times. Ask Mr. Pierce. He seems to be in charge of the US operations." He shrugged, putting his hands into his pockets as he walked off. "Sorry, I have to visit with someone who got injured in all this."

"An agent?"

"No comment for their own safety."

"I guess that's fine," one complained. They went off to make those reports. The guy 'Strucker' didn't put out anything so clearly no megalomaniacal complex in him. It was unfortunate.

***

Xander came back limping and with an arm in a cast. He nodded at his contact, sitting down across from him. "Which one of them is here?"

"Her."

"Great." He looked at the guard. "Can you tell Natasha I have information for her? We found the Russian branch of HYDRA." The guard nodded, going up there. He looked at his friend, shrugging some. "We know their top three people and two are connected."

"That's going to be a mess."

"Yes, it will be." He looked over at Natasha as she walked in. He repeated three names. "The three top heads in Russia. The second was the science head guy. The first was the one in charge of practical things and the other was in charge of the military corrupting. He's the only one that's not Russian mob affiliated." She winced. "Also, Baron Strucker laughed about the press conference. We had a short talk when he captured me but then I kinda called in my backup helpers and they blew the fuck out of his lab."

He grinned, pulling something from his pocket. The box grew. "The three subjects we found there are in a German hospital. It looks like they were back to breeding a better soldier. One has magic, one has super speed, and one's so screwed up she doesn't know who or when she is." She nodded, taking the box. "The commando team was to only find that and to get it out of there with any hostages. The demons helping us shrank the box so it was safely carried. The other stuff they found is waiting to be picked up by people they trust." He sighed and moved. "They've moved their operational base to Algeria as far as I know and have heard. That may be false info to draw people into a trap. Not sure."

"Still, it gives us a place to track them from," she said. "Are you all right?"

"Fractured wrist, pulled arm, twisted leg. They may have captured me for five minutes but it wasn't easy and I wasn't nice. They didn't try to take blood either. He just got in my face to sneer about daring to go against the great Baron Strucker."

"Hmm. Ego but not at a clinical level." Xander nodded. "The commando team?"

"I paid them from the stuff we looted from the first site." He smiled. "We found their operational office locally a few days back and raided it and their funds to pay for raiding the rest. It was nice they had payroll records for all the UK, all the empire really, and most of the European silent agents." She smirked. "They went to my contact in MI-5. I'm pretty sure he thinks all the money went bra and shoe shopping with the slayers. I've done that before when people pissed me off."

"Excellent work, Xander. Have you told anyone else?"

"No. Not yet. I left a taped report for my contact with his baby girl at daycare. They'll tuck it into her backpack." She smiled as she walked off calling the others. He looked at his friend. "I'm sorry the snakes drew you into their mess."

"As am I. Well, it may mean we creep higher in the list of people." Xander smiled. "Come, we will eat."

"I adore you for feeding me. I haven't eaten in two days." He followed him to the kitchen to get fed properly and then to a room to take a nap. Then he called in those he could trust to let them know about this. They had to protect themselves and the structure.

***

Xander woke up somewhere strange, blinking at the man staring at him. "I wasn't at your house when I fell asleep."

"They tried to bomb that house, Xander." The agent smiled at him. "Thank you for that tape and making sure they didn't know you gave it to her."

"I'd never endanger a kid. If I thought it was, I would've popped up next to you to hand it over." He blinked. "What happened?"

"One of the ones your ex told was loyal to the boss who was HYDRA. The one he is guarding is safe. I already made sure for you." Xander moaned, sitting up. "You good?"

"I got captured for about five minutes. They had eight of them so I'm not all that mad at myself."

"Poor thing." He helped him straighten up. "You're in a nice hospital and you can stay for a day or so. You're near the college."

Xander blinked hard, seeing the room ruined then looked at the guy next to him. "Something's going to happen." He started to seize, the vision being too strong. The agent got the nurse in to help him. When Xander came to, he blinked at the nurse. "Visions suck ass."

"I'm sure they do, sir. Do you often have visions?"

"I'm with the new Council, Nurse. Yes. Where is the guy who was here?"

"I don't know."

"Great." He sat up and swung his feet around. "My discharge papers?"

"No way in bloody hell," she said.

He stared up at her. "Now please. I'm not staying."

"We can have you committed for being a harm to yourself, sir. Lay back down."

"Lady, we're about to have a major problem coming down in your town in a few days." She snorted. He reached for the phone but she took it and unplugged it. "Fine." Nothing from the help tattoo. He smirked and called out for someone. The demon came, making the nurse shriek and run off. "Help me up and out."

"Some of us like the idea of the convergence."

"I don't care about the destruction. I just need to get the slayers out of the way before they invade Asgard to find boyfriends." Guards ran in with batons. "Dudes, just don't." The demon took him to Jane Foster. He blinked at her. "You're going to see your boyfriend soon." Her head lifted and she stared at him. He sat down. "There's some sort of all realm convergence coming soon."

"The electrical fields we've been finding," she said, sounding almost wooden. He nodded. "Oh, no."

"Oh, it'll be messy. Not as messy as New York but definitely messy. We're talking all nine realms and a bad guy." She groaned, calling Stark's phone. Xander went over what he had seen. Stark promised to tell Giles when he saw him in a few hours. Xander looked back as Darcy and Ian walked in. "Hey. Thor's coming."

"Great." She smiled. "Have we got it fixed?"

"No. The bad guys are going to take advantage of a mystical convergence."

"That sucks," Darcy said.

"Especially when it destroys part of a college." She groaned. "I've got to keep the slayers from invading Asgard during it to find boyfriends." She smiled and hugged him. "Ow. Sorry but ow."

She looked at him. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine. Just sore. I had to get a friend to help me get out of the hospital. The nurse threatened to confine me because she didn't like visions."

"I don't like the idea behind visions," Jane said. "But I'm guessing they're handy in your line of work." He grinned and nodded. "Is that why your eye is bloodshot?"

"Yup, sure is." He snapped his fingers and called his contact. "I hate visions. I really hate visions. No, Thor's coming with an enemy. There's a convergence that'll wreck a college. Portals to all the nine realms. Six weeks. Can you please go confiscate any and all blood samples they took from me? Oh, and I had to escape via poker buddy because they were threatening to lock me up for my own good for having a vision. Thanks, man. No, I'm going to curl into a bed and sleep. I need a nap." He yawned. "Anything I need to hear?" He smiled. "Killer, thanks. Sleep well." He hung up and leaned his head back to pop his neck then forward then to the sides to do it again. Darcy moved to work on it. "You're a saint."

"Not likely."

He grinned at her. "Saints aren't all pure. Some were downright nasty. That's why Saint Barbara is over artillery." She gave his head a nudge but fixed the pain in his neck. He sighed, looking back at her. "Let me get back to a comfy bed with a date." He stood up, bracing on the table, wincing at his wrist twinging. "I wonder who's in town." He hugged Darcy. "Thank you. Have fun and watch out for Mew-Mew when it's zipping around confused. I saw it nearly taking your head off, dear. Hate to lose you. You're one of the few women I know who have sense." He left, going outside. He found Natasha waiting by the car. "I'm not going to let you put me up. They might get mean to you."

"I'm taking you to one of your usual dates I trust not to be evil."

"My dates? Really?"

She smirked. "Smartass. Into the car." She walked around to get in. He slid into the passenger's seat, smiling at the dog that licked him. "Lucky wanted to ride around." Xander petted the dog, letting it and the ride lull him to sleep again. She parked in front of the hotel, and the guard came out to gather Xander. "He escaped the hospital after the nurses hated that he had a vision and a seizure. His wrist was fractured, his leg had a muscle tear, his shoulder was swollen. He said there were eight of them so he wasn't mad he lost that fight. Then in the hospital he had the seizure and a hard vision."

"Got it, ma'am. I'll let the boss know." He helped Xander up to the suite, letting his boss take her good time boy from him to put him to bed. He had seen her with Xander in the past so he wouldn't worry about him doing anything mean to her beyond making her have too much sex when he woke up. And if she got mad about the injuries they could handle him.

***

Xander walked up to an ex a few days later, shaking his head. "She only wants me for sex. It's sad, she didn't even want to feed me dinner." He pouted, sitting with him. "You might want to go on vacation."

"Why?"

"Because your house is going to be right next to the huge thing in five weeks."

"I'll check my insurance and then go on vacation with the children." Xander smiled. "Are you all right?"

"Exhausted. I was just out of the hospital and in pitiful shape and she still demanded sex instead of letting me sleep for four whole hours." The guy winced. "Maybe I need to give up women since they all treat me so poorly."

"Want lunch, Xander?"

"I need to go log in the vision and then make sure no one's trying the girls." He waved a hand. "I made her feed me breakfast or I wasn't going to give any more oral sex." His contact got him lunch and a soda. Xander smiled and they chatted about the upcoming thing. The ones who overheard, they could check their insurance and possibly take a nice trip during it too.

"How do we know when it'll start?"

"Dr. Selvig will be arrested putting up helpful things at Stonehenge that need to be put up elsewhere." He ate a bite.

"I'll keep track of the news." They dug into the nice lunch and talked about where Xander was going after this. Giles was being tetchy and irritated by all the girls in his house so it was best not to annoy him before Xander lost his job and had to go find other ways of getting into things.

***

Xander walked into Giles' house, heading for the office. He had written the vision out on the train ride up. He stared at Giles. "Could've used a ride."

"Sorry, I thought you were coming in a few days. What's going on now?"

"Formal copy of the vision." He handed it over. Giles read it and winced. "At least it's nowhere near here."

"No, thankfully not. You escaped from a hospital?"

"Yeah, I didn't want put on psych for having a vision." Giles grimaced but shook his head. "Frankly, if I wanted Nurse Ratchet to take care of me, I have a few ex's I'm no longer speaking to who fit the uniform better." Giles rolled his eyes. "I do."

"Some of your lovers and contacts do get us looked at oddly."

"Not like governments give us weapons to fight huge things with. You can tell anyone too nosy that I met them doing things like being captured by a pirate band in Africa." Giles sat up, staring at him. "They were nicely getting someone else out while I was getting free of my cell and stabbing the ones trying to stop me from getting free of my cell. For some reason they thought I was there to help put out aid shipments they wanted to confiscate." He shook his head but smirked at Buffy when she walked in. "The girls are not allowed to use the convergence to go to Asgard. I saw a few try it."

"Saw or saw?"

"Saw. Horrible vision. Had a seizure. Nearly got put onto the psych ward for it thanks to the mean nurse."

"We'd all like to not have to deal with visions but that's her thing that she didn't believe. We would've rescued you." He snorted, staring at her. "We would have."

"You didn't even visit when I was in there unconscious for three days."

"How do you know that?"

"My lover I rested with hacked the security footage to prove to me that all of you were bitches like her. And she was right." Buffy scowled. "You are."

"I am not."

"Really?" He stared at her. "I'd visit you." She huffed. "Anyway, six slayers have absolutely no sense." He handed her the vision. She groaned and sat down. "You have fun spanking them."

"Are you staying here as well?" Giles asked.

Xander looked at him. "No. I don't want to deal with the nagging that I get. It's better if I don't have to deal with nagging with the throbbing headache I still have." Giles huffed. "Still, yeah." He looked at Buffy again. "Thankfully I checked out of the hotel before I left for Germany. Did they tell you they found one they bred with magic?"

"No." She frowned. "Are you sick again?"

"Damn I hope not." She got up to test his forehead. He sighed but ducked away. "I'm fine."

"You're fevered."

"I'm fine."

"We can have the local doctor come see you," Giles said.

"With my luck, someone decided to test something on me while I was unconscious."

Willow appeared, nodding. "Rumors in the poker circuit said that agents did to see what made you so special. The fact you're not dead yet is amusing them."

"Hmm. Interesting. I need to bomb me a hospital and an agent or three then." He shrugged. "I've had worse and still went on patrol with some of the girls. Dengue sucked."

"We can find you a good hospital," Giles said.

Xander looked at him. "So they can do it again?"

"That's a thought I hadn't had."

"I'm obviously not expected to be contagious since the nurse wasn't in decontamination gear. Just regular scrubs. So I guess I can go sweat out the fever." He shrugged, walking off. "Let me find a cheap motel. I am still being paid, Giles? Because I wasn't the last two paychecks. Your assistant still thinks I'm horrible for not being female."

"I'll look into that, Xander. Let me call someone to see what it is?"

"What makes you think it's got a name?" he asked dryly. He looked back at him. "Not like they'd use something typical." Giles sighed. "At least it's nicer than the ones in Libya that tried to keep me from the slayer there tried." He walked off, heading out to hike to the train station. There's a nice motel near the train station and he can probably hover and fight off the fever there. It didn't look too horribly filled with bugs. It probably had showers so he could wash off the sweat. There was a small diner nearby so he could eat. Better than he usually got when he was sick. It sure beat a tent in the middle of the jungle so he didn't infect the locals.

***

Stark was there when Xander woke up the next time, with Banner bending over him. "Did I summon?" he joked weakly.

"No, Rosenburg asked when she heard what they tried to give you," Stark said.

Xander grimaced. "Probably something I've already had?"

"Yeah," Stark said with a nod. "They couldn't draw blood."

"Mystical protections very much nice."

"It's weird and probably dangerous," Bruce said.

Xander looked at him. "Not like I go to the hospital. I sweated out dengue in a tent in the jungle so I didn't infect my slayer's village. They insisted."

Bruce stared at him. "It's gotta be a young guy thing."

"It's more I'm there and things happen. Pirates are a good example of that."

"It's the fever, kid."

"Not really. Three different times." He smiled. "I got much better at dealing with things after my first six months in Africa. Especially after the Libyans."

Bruce checked Xander's fever again, nodding. "Not too high. Want to talk about that? No one seems to know what you did."

"That's probably a good thing so none of the girls bitch. The girls down there appreciate me a lot more and they promised to never tell Buffy or Willow so they wouldn't find me and beat me to death for being a guy who could handle stuff."

Bruce sighed. "Let me do some bloodwork?"

"Sure. If you must. Watch out for mermaid taint."

"I heard. Willow introduced us to the local poker circuit when we asked how the HYDRA ending was going," Stark said. Xander grinned. "The commando team you paid out of the raiding is good."

"Yes they are. Illegal, no longer employed by any government, say they're bored, but good. That's why I asked them." He winced as Bruce stuck him and drew blood. "I know I'm going to live. I have visions of me being places in six years or so. Even the PTB can't make that up. They hate me and wouldn't put me there unless they had to. So they can't kill me off unless they want to resurrect me. And they'd hate that."

Stark patted him on the arm. "You're really weird, kid."

Xander smiled. "It's being surrounded by girls all the time. Thankfully Miss Potts isn't as mean or as warping as Buffy and Willow are."

"Yeah, I'd hate to be that weird." He let Bruce take the car keys to go to the local hospital to run the blood samples. They had a local doc they were working with. Mr. Giles had not been happy to call in his old friend, who hated Xander because he had been part of the old Council and had tried to kill him. They were ignoring that before Xander killed him back. Xander drifted off again while Stark sick person sat. This was going to cause problems.

***

Six days later, Xander walked up to an agent and pulled him up to kiss him. "For giving me dengue again, mother fucker," he said with a smile. "I really hate the hallucinations and you're a dick who owes part of the poker circuit. I'd run." He let him go and looked at another one he knew and usually liked working with. "Speaking of running." He strolled off. A few minutes later, demons invaded the café with the agents and went right for the ones that owed money. He grinned at the reporter staring in horrified awe. "They decided to infect me with something slightly contagious while I was recovering from a vision. Because, ya know, that's always a good idea when you've had a vision that gave you a seizure." The reporter shivered. "I don't take betrayal nicely. And hell, one was an ex who was mediocre in bed but nice at other times. Pity but damn! If they turn on me, what are they going to do to the slayers?"

"It was a contract!" someone shrieked. "They were going to pay us millions for him!"

Xander snorted, looking back there. "I've gotten better offers to strip, I'm sure as hell not going to be an *experiment*. You can tell the HYDRA guys that when you meet the ones who wanted to pay for me." He smiled and pulled up a site on his phone. "I'm right, HYDRA." He showed her. "Pity, but yay. I don't play that way." He walked off. "I'm sure the innocent ones will be fine."

The reporter was nearly crying as she called that in. Police showed up and the demons told them why they were gathering poker debts and how it had nearly gotten the city destroyed. Because demons would come for Xander if he was weak enough to be an easy target. One of them nicely even had the full file from the hospital, including how they had tried to dose him three times before it had taken. The officers arrested them and the demons pouted a bit but they had fun and it was a great way of Xander paying them for his losing last night. The demons fled when a slayer got there but she smiled and waved, thanking them for taking out threats to the other slayers. The officers gave her an odd look so she pointed out their liaison, who had a lot of nibbles. They decided it was evil and they could go under the jail today.

***

Xander made himself available later that night, nodding at the inspector who sat across from him in the hotel's lobby. "What's up?" he asked quietly, sipping his coffee.

"Sir, that was uncalled for. We could have arrested them." Xander pulled something out of the folder next to him to hand over. "Oh, I see you tried." He nodded, taking another sip. "Are you better?"

"It was my second time with dengue. I'm still at the tired and slightly shaky stage."

"That's good." He looked at the folder. "Is that all for me?"

"I didn't figure they'd send someone from Scotland Yard. I figured on an agent. That's mostly theirs." He handed it over. He spotted the agent staring at him and nodded. "You can come join us, Paul. Or are you Ringo today?"

"I'd never be a drummer. It's not really my type of beast," the agent shot back. He took the folder from the inspector, wincing. "Oh, crud."

"Exactly. Between that and the HYDRA stuff I'm helping end since I found it, I doubt it'll take me out. Others have tried and lost." The agent stared at him. He smiled and sipped his coffee. "They make excellent coffee here if you wanted to join me."

"No thank you. I had some earlier at a proper tea hour."

"I was napping then." He finished his coffee and put the cup down gently on the saucer. "They forgive me for it because I'm American and we have no class." The waiter coming to give him more coffee smiled at him for the joke. Xander paid and tipped him, making him happy. "Thank you." He looked at the agent then at the inspector. "I tried to be more subtle. I was sick then but I tried subtle. It's really not something I'm used to."

The agent cleared his throat and sat down. "We have no idea what you've done outside some fairly outrageous rumors, Mr. Harris."

Xander smiled. "Good! It kept it from the girls who nag."

"Yes, but we'd like to know."

"Then it'd get back to them and I'd have to run and hide behind you so you could fight off the nagging slayers." He sipped the coffee. It was helping him feel better, loosening up his chest.

"I can give you a head start. Even just a general few things?" Xander sighed and opened up his phone, getting into a file to let him see. A tumblr. "Interesting."

"Totally locked. I edited from that to send to Giles and that's not the full story because some things I didn't want to write down. I blatantly drank them away instead."

"I've had a few of those myself." He got into the oldest one, then went forward to when they heard he had went to Africa. He went back a few months. Someone needed to learn how to count dates in his office. He read and blinked. He looked at him. Xander looked over to look then shrugged. He viewed the others in that month and the next month's. He shuddered, handing it back. "Thank you."

Xander nodded. "All the really mind bending stuff came later. Including people who kept thinking I was an aid worker for being white and American." The agent shook his head with a sigh. Xander sipped the coffee. "The heat's helping the bit of chest congestion I got during the fever."

"If it's helping, I'm all for it," the inspector said. "Were they going to really rip those agents apart?"

"No." Xander smiled. "They don't tend to do more than nibble humans. It'd take thousands of them to eat a full person. It did what it was supposed to do, and it was fun. I paid off a poker debt I made on purpose for that."

The agent and inspector both blinked at him then nodded. "I hadn't even thought of that," the agent said. "So it was to make them confess?"

"Your people wouldn't do anything when an outsider told them that stuff. Therefore they had to tell you themselves."

"Agreed. Nicely planned as well. Thank you, Mr. Harris."

"Welcome. I'm here until the upcoming thing." He finished his coffee and stood up. "You guys have a nice day."

"What upcoming thing?" the inspector demanded.

Xander smiled. "You've got a month. Ask Giles. He's at home. He has a copy." He handed the waiter the coffee cup and saucer. "Thank you." He went back upstairs to his room. He had another appointment that night. His contact showed up about eight, when he expected him to. He let him in and pointed at the small bag. "The things I fall into holes and find," he complained.

"Cursed?"

"No. Lost. Stolen and then they arrested the guy but couldn't find them. It's been sixty years though. At the very least I'd like a reward. More if possible."

"I know ones who wouldn't care about their backgrounds," he admitted, settling at the desk to go over the stones. "I can see why they wanted these. Is this all there was?"

"No. There's a ton more." He pulled those bags out to hand over. "The pearls were gathered in there like someone had dropped them in later. Not sure about them." He shrugged and sat down next to the desk. "I know you're required to turn in stolen stuff. I just happened to fall into the hole. I told someone down there and they told me it was a myth and I should move on before they arrested me for being strange and white."

"I'm supposed to, yes. I can look that up." He looked in the other bag, shaking his head. "There's no way to tell if some of these were stolen." He looked at him. "You think I would do that to a client?"

"I know very well guys like you have to ride on the side of respectable. That's how you get good business from people like heirs who need to sell heirlooms. I'm not against that. Though I could use the money from a reward."

"There is one. Not all of these came from that. The rest I'm not sure where they came from." Xander nodded. "Is that why you tracked me down?"

"Yeah. I'm not going to go to the same guy drug lords go to. I'm too clean for that."

"Good." He smiled. "I did look into who you are." Xander grinned back. "You work with slayers?"

"All too often and they nag me. That's why I'm in the hotel."

"Why this hotel?"

"Someone nicely injected me with dengue while I was in the hospital after a vision. I'm just now recovering and I needed somewhere decent enough that had a doc on call. This one offered nice monthly rates since I'm here until a problem in four weeks."

"That's a good reason." He went over them again, then looked up the stolen gems. He sorted out what was in there. Only two others could be identified. The pearls weren't noted and hadn't been strung or used. He looked at him. "I can do both. There is a reward." Xander smiled. "The rest I can sell for you but it could take weeks."

"I'm not hard up for money. I'm not rich but I can easily swing a year here if I have to."

"That's good. If I may ask how?"

Xander grinned. "I ran into a group that kept thinking I was an aid worker for some strange reason. They claimed to be pirates. I got vindictive when I got myself free the second time. They nicely had some stuff I could use, including some money they didn't need."

"Ah. That's good of you."

"I split it with the other living captives. It fed some of the slayers I was working with. Giles had no head for how much it takes to actually do more than survive in Africa."

"Did they have gems?"

"No. They were looking to buy some weapons so they had cash on hand." He grinned. "And a few older weapons we used during a battle down there."

"An excellent thing. I will turn those in for you and sell the rest." Xander shook his hand and they parted ways. He knew he could not cross this one. He was intelligent and knew the underground's ways well enough to know if he was being double crossed. He had heard of him too, the avenger of the attacked.

Xander settled on his bed to watch some tv. He was still tired.

***

Mr. Giles lets the agent into his office, smiling politely. "Is there a problem with the slayers?"

"Not at this moment. A few other ones that are a bit weird." He sat down in front of the desk, the two files in his lap. "First, you have a vision for us that you have not shared?"

"I've set up a meeting with Scotland Yard tomorrow. That's how it's always been done." He found it and handed it over. "Xander's was the most clear."

"One of us talked to him yesterday." He read it over, grimacing. "That's going to be nasty to clean up. Can we stop it?"

"Unfortunately not. The convergence happens no matter if humans are evolved or not. Nothing can really stop the ones that happen due to alignment."

"Wonderful." He handed it back. "One of us will be at the meeting tomorrow to ask any pertinent questions. Though it does explain why some people we'd rather leave the country are taking a short vacation then."

"Xander has many unsavory contacts due to his time training in Africa and Central America. He makes some of the oddest friends but they tend to come in handy at times. Often it's how he's gotten help for larger battles down there."

"Yes, we've barely heard of those." He smiled and handed over a file. "We asked him and he provided us a locked tumblr address that we broke into and read over. It was his thinking journal as he put it. It didn't have everything, he admitted some things he drank away, but it was most ...amusing at times. The rest of us drank dinner."

Giles read over the selected entries, then sighed and got up to get some tea from the waiting pot. "I can see why he didn't admit to any of these in his reports." He sat back down. "Want some tea?"

"No thank you, Mr. Giles. Is he all right?"

"He'd never tell me if not because he knows I'd nag him."

"Yes, he said he was hiding it from the nagging women you lord over. We called down to talk to a slayer down there, who just had a problem with some of our agents nearby so it was a handy call to see what happened to them, as they can't speak at the moment. She admitted a lot about Xander that wasn't on the journal. Including that he apparently is quite strong willed when faced with, as she put it, stupid human things."

"Yes, he can be. He's done that a few times that I've known him. He faced down a master vampire in a hospital to protect Buffy once." He took a drink of tea and went back to his reading. He grimaced. "He fell into a hole with gems?" He looked up.

"He got around to finally telling someone about them last night. We know the high end jewel dealer is handling it for him. He admitted he found them and where and that half of them had probably been stolen about sixty years earlier by what he had found out. The gem dealer is handing those back for the reward, and is selling the others, including some pearls found there."

"Charming. Is he without funds?"

"No. He figured showing us that meant we'd find the others and ask him. This way no one has to ask him to turn them over."

"Did you ask him how many weapons he's storing?"

"No. We're a bit scared to and as long as they're used against demons or huge things like that vision, we don't care. Like the last Council, we'd like to mostly ignore you. Even though you did bring a lot of girls who like to bound around your yard in bikinis. The neighbors are almost horrified but the husband has been watching from their roof." Giles shook his head with a sigh, taking some tea in. "I personally salute you for being able to handle so many young women and mostly make them sensible."

"I tend to leave that to the older girls. I don't understand teenage girls and I didn't really understand my slayer when she was a teenage girl." He sighed. "I'll talk to them about the bikinis however."

"Your girls are probably the most amusement that the village has had since the wars."

"Probably, yes." He finished his cup of tea. "What's in the other folder?"

"More on some of his contacts." He let him see them.

Giles marked out a few. "He's complained recently about them. They treated him horribly when you people made him sick." He handed it back with a look. "We're all very lucky he decided not to retaliate more than he did."

"We are. By the way, I'm the new liaison officer if I hadn't mentioned it." He smiled. "That one wanted the rather nice sum HYDRA was offering for him to be brought to them. Which is reasonable since his daughter has to go to college and all that." He crossed his feet. "How can we help you calm him down?"

"I haven't managed that since I met him when he was almost sixteen." The agent winced. "He's actually calmed quite a bit. Tragedy and battles do it to one."

"I remember my own time as a Para." Giles nodded at that information. "Will he talk to us without trying to play cutesy or protective of himself?"

"Probably not, though I've never taken him as cutesy."

"He does tend to lead to a point that we have to cover ourselves instead of just blatantly telling us things."

"Yes, you tend to yell when he just outright tells you. The same as you do to us."

"Point, I hadn't considered that." He shifted. "I'll talk to him later if he's still at the hotel. At least he's staying somewhere nice."

"On his salary?"

"He told the gem dealer he had been taken by pirates a few times and the second time he had gotten huffy and looted."

"He used to pickpocket the vampires he was staking so he had some spending cash since he didn't have time for an after school job any longer." He frowned but let it clear up. "Were there many of those?"

"No clue."

"Oh, dear. I do try to pay him what novice watchers get."

"He's still considered a novice after eleven years of fighting with your slayer?" Giles winced. "Beyond that, novice pay should have went up since minimum wage did a few times. We can look into that for you if you'd like."

"Not really. I hadn't even considered that."

"Hmm. He managed and the looting apparently paid to keep some of the slayers eating." Giles nodded. "He's not exactly a problem but he's not exactly a good thing to the empire."

"He'll probably be going back to the US with us after that incident. We're not sure how much demonic rising up activity will pop up thanks to the convergence and all the attacks on Asgard."

"I saw the slayers sneaking over note."

"I've had a long talk with them. They know it shall not happen. I've wisely threatened them with Xander paddling them after he finds them."

"I can see how that would help." He stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Giles. I'll try to talk to your trainer later to make sure he's staying calm. He hasn't called on any of his ex's recently and we're not sure if that's a bad thing or not."

"It is," he said. "They would usually make him feel better." He called him. "Are you all right? I've been told that you've not called in any friends recently." He listened. "Yes, that is dreadful treatment of you in such a vulnerable state. Oh, many of them decided it was reasonable. No, I'm sorry you lost them, Xander. I'm sure the agents wouldn't want you to pick up another one right now. No, they could be the meaner sort and we'd hate to see you injured. Also, I'm told I'm underpaying you. Well, that is what I made.

"Yes, minimum wage has went up in the last forty years," he agreed. "It's how much in the US? That's rather high. I'll look at that later, Xander. Including warning my assistant off again. Do you need anything at this moment? I'll be in tomorrow for the meeting with Scotland Yard. No, not over your paramours, over the convergence. That's fine. Have a good rest." He hung up. "They treated him horribly when he was ill and needing a bit babied. One even tried not to let him sleep and eat."

"I'd dump lovers for that. I'll see you tomorrow. One?"

"One thirty." The agent nodded and left. Giles sat back with a sigh, looking over those. He heard Willow and Buffy arguing so he locked them in a drawer. Telling Willow Xander had to hurt people in Africa would make her get extremely huffy and go yell at him. The hotel didn't need destroyed thanks to Willow and he didn't want to pay to replace it.

***

Xander looked up as Stark showed up at the hotel for tea. He nodded at him and pointed at the table, getting a nod. "I'm not doing anything and you're better than a book any day, Mr. Stark. How are things?"

Tony sat down. "Not bad. He's healing."

"That's great news." He smiled. "We did show you that vision, right?"

"I have gotten a copy and we're all a bit horrified."

"We'll have some demon uprising moments during it." He shrugged and let the waiter pour them tea and hand them a tiered tray of tidbits. Xander selected a sandwich and nibbled politely. "Thank you for helping me when I was so ill," he said quietly.

"That was a dirty trick."

"I found out someone had a price on me." He smiled. "Apparently the same one who had me for all of five minutes felt thwarted."

Stark stared at him over the top of his sunglasses. "Really?" Xander nodded. "Still in effect?"

"No one else is going to try it." He smiled. "I got a bit peeved and made my feelings known. It was probably on the news. And if you pull your phone out they'll get huffy," he said quietly. Stark nodded he'd look it up later. They ate and let Steve join them when he got there. "So far nothing huge is going on for the next week that I know of. So unless it's an immediate incident we should all have some quiet for a few weeks."

"That'd be nice," Steve agreed. "What happens then?"

"You'll get to see Thor again." He smiled. "I thought we told Jane."

"You did," Stark agreed. "We've been looking stuff up about it with her." He looked at Steve. "I haven't told you guys?" Steve shook his head. "I meant to. I'll brief everyone when we get home." He let Steve pick out a cookie to nibble on while they had tea. It was relaxing and the reporters outside were nearly drooling by then. Stark walked out nibbling a cookie, smiling at them. "Yes, people? Out of the doorway. You know places hate that."

"In for tea?" one called.

"That and to check on someone," Steve agreed, smiling at them. One made mouth motions so he licked over his teeth to get something off them. He grinned at her. "It's all okay for the next four weeks."

"There's a thing coming? A demonic battle?" one demanded. "We saw officers and agents talking to Mr. Harris but not arresting him for dating."

"Might have a few problems because the mystical alignment is important to some of them," Stark said. "Mostly it'll be the alignment messing with stuff." They all nodded. "In about four weeks." That got another nod.

Xander came out and walked over, handing one of the reporters a folded paper then went back inside.

"He's here to rest up for it," Stark said. He looked at that reporter, who had looked at the note. "Something huge?"

"My sister sent a letter from Brazil. She's helping the house down there." Steve smiled at her. "She said they're all insane and nagging."

"The kid said the same thing," Stark agreed. He saw an agent walk in and head up to the elevator. He looked at Steve then at them. Two police inspectors. Three uniforms. All went upstairs. The woman they pulled out was screeching about not being evil and she'd pay Xander back for that.

Xander walked out. "Even if you only consider me a good time, you were so insensitive that you wouldn't let me sleep when I had the beginnings of dengue. You wouldn't even let me eat for your sex needs. Even good time boys need food and sleep between rounds." He waved. "Even Anya was nicer to me than that. I don't need people who disrespect me that much. Beyond that, not the one that turned you in, Hilary. One of your guards turned you in for what you do for money. He just arranged it to be here so the local guys could get all huffy about me having relations with arms dealers again."

He smiled and waved. "You have a great night. Next time I see you, I'll find a better dealer probably. The slayers need better suppliers than those who treat us like we're paid when we're not." He strolled off. "I didn't invite her up," he told the manager when he got scowled at. "She showed up to get sex. I told her I wasn't going to because she treated me very wrong. I may need the stress relief of something easy but I still require at least sensible treatment. Not being forced into sex without sleep or food for hours on end." He went back up to his room.

Stark nodded. "We heard he dated people like her." He smirked when they all stared at him. "Not like I need her services, guys." They smirked and got her into the car. "Xander said earlier some of his other dates agreed with her disrespect so he's looking for someone better. He's not going to date here because the last time he dated they tried to drug him and castrate him so he couldn't leave them. So if you guys know any nice dangerous sorts, introduce him." He and Steve walked off.

"Is Dr. Banner local?" one of the reporters called.

"No comment," Steve said. "He asked us not to."

"That's fine. Is the rest of the team here?" Steve smiled and nodded. "That's nice." The others waited to get anyone else of importance who might be in the hotel. They knew a movie star from Bollywood was staying there. They had no idea about the guy from the Council. Or that he knew Avengers.

***

Thor landed next to where his lady and her assistant were, nodding at Darcy. Who smiled and punched him on the arm. He noticed some help there. "Tony Stark, why are you here?"

"Bruce and I are both here." He smiled. "A seer foresaw the convergence having a problem and we're on vacation from a problem in the US that nearly blew up the whole country."

"A battle that big?" he asked, frowning.

"No. Hidden things in the government that nearly got it shut down. It led to the explosion of a few other governments. Let's just say it was bad and leave it there."

"Of course. Are we in trouble?"

"No, we're staying out of the way so they can fix themselves. When half of SHIELD ends up being in the employ of the bad guys, it's best to get out of the way."

"Yes it would be," Darcy agreed. She punched Thor on the arm again. "How's space?"

He smiled at her. "Space is fine." He walked over to talk to Jane and Bruce. She told him more about what was known thanks to seers. He had no idea there were seers down here. They told him about the slayers too when two bounced in to try to drag Darcy off to do something. Then one's phone rang with a simple text message of 'stop it' so they huffed and asked instead. Jane sent her off. The younger slayers needed good female role models.

Stark and Banner shared a smirk behind the lovebirds' backs. They were so gooingly in love it was too sweet to watch. Thankfully they had science to do.

***

Xander looked up from his lunch when Darcy sighed, flopping down across from him. "Are you okay?" he asked, handing her half his sandwich.

"The slayers are bouncy."

"They get that way before battles. They also usually go shopping for *the* outfit to wear and something to encourage them to not be in casts afterward. I have no idea how it got started but I think I can probably blame Kennedy or Buffy."

"Which one is Kennedy?"

"Dead."

"Oh. Sorry."

"She hated me. She was Willow's last girlfriend and jealous."

"I guess that happens with a huge group of young women." Xander nodded, going back to his eating. "Are you better?"

"I'm pretty good so far this week. All healed up." She grinned back and dug in to her snack. They talked about the science of portals. Xander knew a bit more than she did about them but he clearly wasn't into science the way Jane or the Science Bros were. It was nice talking to a normal guy who didn't want in her panties or into Jane's work.

When he escorted Darcy back, he nodded at Jane. "She had some food."

"That's good of you, Xander. Thank you for having her on a not-date again."

Xander grinned. "She's not nearly dangerous enough for me, Dr. Foster. She doesn't even like knives." He looked at Thor. "We've warned the slayers not to take advantage of the portals to go kidnap warriors for boyfriends." Thor gave him a strange look. He held out a hand. "Xander Harris, trainer for the slayers and one of the ones that had the vision."

"Ah!" He shook his hand. Xander yelped and held his head. "Oh, you are afflicted." Xander nodded, then sighed and straightened up. "Problems?"

Xander looked at him. "How much do you love your mother?" Thor glared. "Because they're going to target her during the invasion." Thor winced. "Find some way to warn her? Before you both go nuts?"

"I shall. Thank you for the warning, Seer."

"It's cool, Thor. Usually I'm called a knight and if you have a mom you like, you should want to guard her." He looked at Darcy. "You, please stay safe? I saw it trying to take off your head again as it flew off looking for him." She nodded, giving him a hug. Then he left to go back to his room. The desk attendant had a message for him so he left to go talk to Stark. He ran into him outside and they went up to Xander's room to talk. "Hi," he said with a grin. "Huge problems?"

"You okay? Your eye's bloodshot."

"I shook Thor's hand and saw the dark elves taking out his mom."

"Ow. That's going to suck." Xander nodded. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. It wasn't a harsh vision. So, problems?"

"Two things. A certain person got loose."

"He's in the bathroom the last I knew." Stark went to look and grinned at him. He grinned back. "He yelled and came at me with a knife. Thankfully I used a demon snot dart. He'll probably be out until tomorrow or so."

"That's good. The second, someone raided the HYDRA base you helped bust for their money stash and made a victim's fund."

"Hmm, imagine that," Xander said dryly.

Stark smiled. "Thanks. Two of them are still around."

"The other one got taken in by a demon clan who had the same sort of gifts. They're not harming her, though they're probably not real nice since she was human, but they'll train it so she's not a danger that'll get the slayers thinking it was them."

"That's even better. The other two?"

"Know how to harness their gifts. They helped in their own rescues and I told them who I could trust to help them when people started to show up. They each, including the one with the demon clan and the tied up assassin in there, have enough to set up nicely somewhere and hide for a really long time."

"That's a good thing. Did you get any other files?"

"The commando team got them and they said they gave them to Fury."

"Great." Xander nodded. "Okay, we can work around that. Any ideas about when or where?"

"Near the convergence. It's seen as a good omen. It'll probably be off the college but there's a few demon enclaves near there and a few points where groups like the demonic mafia run poker halls. I'm hoping they keep it to those but a few are meat eaters and may try to take out humans. If they're going to fight each other, me and the slayers need to step in to help the peaceful species and to stop it from spreading." Stark nodded. They heard a groan from the bathroom. Xander checked his watch. "He has accelerated healing."

"Interesting." He called Steve. "He's tied up in Xander's bathroom at the hotel thanks to a demon snot dart." He hung up. He looked at Xander. "What are your battle plans?"

"This time? We're letting the locals work the containment area. We've told the college so they can cancel classes and clear the buildings we saw affected. The demon areas are known to the local officers so they know where the problems are going to hit. The girls and I are going to be lounging near there having ice cream or something. We'll hop in when things start to go wrong and keep them contained and down."

"That's a good plan," Stark agreed. "Leaving us and Thor to handle the huge stuff."

"The guy has a hard-on for Thor's people. They got their ass whooped by the Asgard forces the last time and the head guy had them suicide play to try to win. This is a last ditch, there's almost no one left, plan of his." Stark nodded. "He probably won't care too much about anyone in his way but he'll definitely be concerned about other stuff. Did he get Jane infected with the whatever that was? The glowy, lava looking snot field of energy?"

"Yeah. Darcy let us know when she disappeared."

"Okay. So it's on." Stark nodded. Someone knocked and Xander got up to answer it, smiling at the guard. "It's okay. He's here to pick up his friend who drank too much and crashed last night. He's still trying to sleep it off."

"That's fine, Mr. Harris. The problem they're talking about?"

"I'll be checking out after a few days of healing time," he said with a grin. "It'll be on the other side of the city." The guard smiled and nodded, leaving to tell the manager that. Xander closed the door after Steve stepped in. He pointed.

"What's a snot dart?" Steve asked.

Xander smiled. "I've learned, thanks to kitten poker, how to boil down or just use certain demon byproducts. Things like fyarl snot, which is a paralytic, works really well. I dip a dart in it and when it dries it tends to knock a person out for about two and a half days. The paralytic is over with after about three hours."

"That's neat," Stark said. "Is there a book on that?"

"I wrote recipes but not a book. They're mostly so I can't forget a step." He got into his suitcase, pulling out his journal. He pulled out the tiny spiral notebook from the back. "I need that back."

Stark nodded, looking through it. "Huh. Romanoff would probably like these."

Xander grinned. "I've given her a few to use."

Stark put the notebook into his pocket and made sure it was secure. "Give me a few days to copy it."

"Copy center downstairs," Xander offered. "I need to make some more tonight."

"I can do that." He helped Steve got Bucky down to the car and paused to copy that then sent the book back upstairs to Xander. He could understand being paranoid about those sort of things.

***

After all the battle, Stark winced as he took off his newest suit. He looked at the others who were coming in to destress and check in. "We all good?"

"I've been happier," Clint said. "The slayers are hell in a battle. Harris did good making sure they knew what they would have to deal with." The others nodded.

Bruce tried not to smile. "Two of them gave me a hug for stopping the car for them." They all smiled at him. "They're mostly nice girls, who I heard nagging?"

"Xander got a cut," Stark said.

"They are nagging at times," Natasha said. "He usually hides from that."

"Me too," Bruce said. "Gentle worrying is good. Fussing is okay. Nagging like you're their wife is a bit much." Clint nodded quickly, petting his dog when he ran in. Lucky checked everyone then came back to his human for petting.

Steve stretched out, sighing in pleasure. "I'm glad we could help make the mess less. Some of those college kids have no sense. They were staring at the window at the battle that was coming toward them."

"We had that in New York too," Stark said. "Think Thor's okay back at home?"

"No clue," Bruce admitted. "Is his mom okay?" Stark nodded. "Good." He popped his neck. "So back to New York?"

Bucky walked in and stared at Steve. "I could have helped. I may not remember much of anything but I can help instead of a bunch of girls."

"You probably could have helped but they're slayers and that's their duty," Steve said. "If I was sure you'd be okay I would've let you help." Bucky huffed. Stark nudged Bucky and handed him a book. "On slayers?"

"The one I borrowed from Mr. Giles." Bucky sat down beside Steve's chair to read the book. He was scowling and looking up at Steve. "It wasn't our call, Barnes. That was started back before writing and now we're helping them last longer and live better lives. The guy with them does that." Bucky nodded, still scowling but reading. "Anyone think they'd mind if I brought Jane Foster and her nagging assistant home so they're protected?"

"She might like that," Steve said. "Not real sure."

"I'll ask her tomorrow then. Let her calm down and miss Thor for a bit." Everyone nodded. "Anything we have to hear tonight?"

"The slayers saved an egg depository the demonic mafia was going to destroy," Natasha said. "I helped them remove one of the bad ones to protect the eggs." Steve smiled at her. "I'm guessing it could have been a lot worse."

"There were a few smaller battles in other spots but the local PD handled most of them and got a few of the slayers from the main battle to handle it. Buffy got to save Harrod's."

"Maybe they'll reward her so she can get tastefully fashionable clothes," Bruce said. "Her skirt yesterday was really short."

"She borrowed from her younger sister," Natasha said. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Any word on when we can go back?"

"Few days," Stark said. He looked at Steve and nodded at Bucky, getting a nod back. "It'll all be fixed up for everyone and all the arrests have finally stopped. So have the riots and the protests." Everyone nodded. "We could probably sneak back tonight if you guys wanted to go back first. I'll stay to talk Jane back with us. All your rooms are cleaned up and ready for you."

"Thanks," Bruce said. Tony smiled but shrugged a bit. Willow appeared, making them all stare at her. "Miss Rosenburg."

She scowled at them. "We had it but thank you for stepping in."

"It wasn't just your battle and we were there to back up Thor," Tony said. "Most groups would be a lot happier and not nag. You're not our mom, Rosenburg." She glared. He stared back. "Do others let you get away with that? We actually get paid to be heros." He waved. "You're trespassing." She huffed but left. "Now I know why the kid hides from her. I'd hide and never date another woman again too." Steve smiled but nodded. "Okay, you guys start taking people back."

"Coulson's team is here looking for Asgardian leftovers and bits," Natasha said.

Clint grimaced. "That's going to suck. Poor geeks." He frowned. "I think they're going to have problems. Something about a staff." He rubbed his forehead. "What did I get exposed to since I don't get visions?"

"The green darts can temporarily activate visions by the notes. Sorry, Arrow Boy," Stark said.

Clint waved a hand. "I'm glad I don't have them like Harris." He called Coulson. "I touched a dart that gave me visions. Find the staff the Aryan Norse people are going for. It makes you really angry. It's in three parts. One's with an Asgardian in hiding in Spain." He hung up.

***

Across town, Coulson hung up. "Asgardian staff," he said. He called Xander, that's what he did with mystical weapons. "Asgardian staff that makes you extremely mad?" He listened. "Where are the pieces?" He nodded. "Okay. We can do that. Have the girl down there gather that one for me. We need to finish finding the pieces of leftover Asgardian metal here. We need to find their God of Cleaning Up. True, probably a goddess. Please. Thank you, Xander." He hung up and sighed. "Three staff parts," he told the staring team. Skye started to look it up online while they searched for any little bits of leftover alien metal.

***

Later that day in Spain, the local slayer strolled in with a smile. "Professor?" He looked up and smiled politely at her. She closed his office door then walked over. "Professor, I'm the Slayer Kinetta." He sat up suddenly, staring at her. "Someone's searching for your staff, Professor," she said quietly. "We heard there's some Aryan Norse gang people who are coming for it." He groaned. "We can take it into slayer custody and our vault. Or you can trust a few *we* trust in SHIELD who got warned and warned us. But we gotta move it today please."

"I..." He sighed. "That's problematic."

She smiled. "That's why they sent me instead of someone less able to handle big, bad things. I'm a senior slayer in charge of this region. I've seen worse than mystically hyped white bread sorts. If I could survive the LA invasion with a broken leg, I can help handle this." He smiled. "Now, let's go get the part that's local so it's safe." He got up to help her grab it. When someone tried to interrupt Kinetta beat him half to death and walked over him to go grab the staff. She nodded, then sighed. "That's sweet but the slayer spirit inhabiting us is nicer." She tucked it into her pack and walked off. "Thanks, Professor. Am I going to see you during my classes?"

"Only if you're in the humanities, young lady."

She smirked, shaking her head. "Theoretical math." She walked off, heading out. The few gang members who were still there got knocked out and she checked to make sure she had it. She called the coven. "It's Kinetta. I found part of an artifact that's *majorly* powerful. I need brought to London to hand it over. Thank you." She hung up and held onto the staff through the bag, landing in London. She walked down to the Tube and paid her fare to go where she needed to go. She came up at the college, nodding at the SHIELD agents. "Guys, I'm the Slayer Kinetta. I need to see Coulson in private, now please." They sneered. She sighed and knocked them out then walked around them. "Not in the mood for you. I have PMS and you're keeping me from candy, boys. Pity." She strolled in, nodding at Maria Hill. "Bitch in charge, I need to see Coulson. Xander referred me to him about the artifact."

"He's upstairs, Kinetta." She always ignored the girls treating her like she was a mean bitch. She could be and the girls knew she wanted to have a firm hand with their wildness when SHIELD ran into them.

"Thank you. Sorry about your toys but they're keeping me from candy and I have PMS." She strolled up the stairs, tossing the bag at Skye. "Don't physically touch the artifact. Let him. It's an aggression problem and taking you down would leave you too unpretty to date anyone, sweetie." She looked at Coulson, smiling and hugging him. "I'm glad you're not dead. Though it means I'll have to wait on you so we can play rummy in heaven."

He smiled. "Thank you, Kinetta. I'm sure I'll still make it there before you. You're due for a long life."

"Actually, I'm kinda not." She grimaced. "Found a problem recently. Treatment sucks ass." He patted her on the arm. "Go ahead. You can probably hold the aggression."

He pulled out the staff part, sucking in a breath as the aggression hit him. He carefully put it back and nodded, stepping back. "I'll have someone hide it."

"You or us."

"You. Xander thinks the professor prompted them to gather it for him." She smiled and took the bag back then hugged him again and strolled off to find Xander. He put it into the Council vault under the Bank of England. It had the same sort of security that the crown jewels did. They locked it in together and left to make notes on the journal kept in the bank deposit box. Xander had sent someone to find the other parts. She went home to her pudding and fudge and wondering about how bad her treatments were going to get.

***

Steve got off the quin jet and nodded. "C'mon, Bucky."

"What's this place?"

"It's Avengers tower." He led him to his room. He put his hand on the keypad. "It's all locked to you and me." He put his hand on the same place. The door opened. "This is your place."

He looked around. "Must I live here?"

"It's here or a hospital until you're healed."

"Here's better." He frowned, prowling around. "I'm confined to here?"

"No. You're confined to this floor at the moment. Lower ones are things like Tony's lab and no one goes in there." He led him out to show him around. "This is the communal kitchen and the communal living room. We all have tv's in the suites but this is all ours for things like movie night. The infirmary is down this hall," he said with a point. "The doctors are grumpy so we only go down there when we have to." He smiled. "We can order groceries in so we don't have to deal with people, or we can go out a few blocks away." Bucky nodded. "I'll show you around until you get used to things."

He looks out the window. "We're in New York. I'm not supposed to be in New York. The higher ups will not be pleased. They said I'm not supposed to be here, it will cause problems."

Steve rubbed a hand up Bucky's natural arm. "I said you're supposed to be here. They didn't want you to be here because you're from here."

"I am?" he asked, frowning at him. Steve nodded. "Are you?"

"Yes. We grew up near here." He looked around. "JARVIS, can we have a map of the boroughs?"

"Of course, sir," the AI said. He projected one.

Steve walked Bucky over. "We're here," he said with a point. "We grew up here." He looked at Bucky. "There's a few ways there and when you want we can go walk around. It's not the same but it's not bad."

"We can do that," he agreed quietly, staring at the map. He looked around. "So I'm confined up here?"

"It's not confining you but it's protecting you from the others. Tony's lab often has explosions and bad things. It's safer if you don't wander around until you meet the people there. Some of them don't really recognize that other people are real and there sometimes."

Bucky frowned. "How?"

"They're in deep with their science. Tony sometimes doesn't come out of his lab for days on end, including not eating for days on end. Science is apparently worse than opium."

Bucky frowned. "That's weird."

"It is," Steve agreed. "That's why it's safer if you don't sneak around to look at things until you're used to stuff." He walked him to the kitchen to make a snack. "Hungry?"

"Please."

Steve made him a few sandwiches and gave him an apple too. "Thank you for ordering groceries, JARVIS."

"You're welcome. Are the others coming?"

"Tony's staying over to talk Jane Foster and her assistant into coming over." He ate a bite. "That's JARVIS. He's the artificial intelligence that watches over the tower. Tony built him," he explained. "You can ask him to do a lot of stuff. Including playing music or pulling up things on the computer for you if you can't find it. He can adjust the temperature in your rooms or even watch the oven for you. I ask him to do that so I don't burn stuff while I'm drawing."

Bucky nodded, eating another bite of food. "That's nice."

"He can pull up the grocery sites so you can order what you want. You can cook in your suite or out here. You don't have to stay in there. We don't usually sit around most of the day but you can come out to catch up to modern life."

Bucky nodded while chewing. He went back to looking around. The deck was a pretty space with a pool up the stairs. He came back to look around his apartment. "Towels and sheets?"

"I haven't ordered any," the AI admitted. "I can do that and have them delivered within hours. What sort of pattern do you want?"

"Pattern?" he asked. He gave Steve a confused look. A virtual screen popped up to show him all the sheet options. "Solid colors would be easier to clean." The view switched to those. "That's nice," he said with a point at one. The view enlarged. "That's nice too. Thank you, JARVIS." He nodded. "Those?" he asked Steve.

Steve grinned. "They're your sheets."

"Point. I..."

Steve backed it up to show him a few things after selecting the higher thread count. It showed him how to sort things. "Softer sheets that won't irritate your arm."

"That's nice too. The house there had very soft sheets." He looked. "Why is that one different?"

"It's t-shirt cotton, which is nice when you sweat a lot," the AI said. "They come in a few colors and patterns." He pulled those up. "Any of those are easily ordered but the white ones are on back order so I'd get you a colored set until they could come in."

Bucky rubbed his t-shirt then nodded, pointing at a few. "Those are nice colors. Will they be good?"

"I can order you a set of each," JARVIS said. "Your bed is a queen size. Is that big enough?"

"It was good, thank you," Bucky said. Steve patted him on the back and sat down. Bucky looked up then sat down. The virtual screen followed. "That's really amazing."

JARVIS chuckled. "I'm trained to be a fully functional butler for the tower, sir. If you need something you need to let me know."

"I can do that. Thank you."

"You're welcome. The sheets have been ordered and will be here in a matter of hours. If you're tired and need to rest now, I suggest the other couch is more comfortable. It's a bit softer and Mr. Stark likes napping on it better."

"I'm good. Do I have groceries?"

"I have not ordered you any. What did you need?"

"Can I cook?" he asked Steve.

"You and I can both kind of cook. You're pretty good at a few things but we can let you watch cooking shows or we can get you cookbooks if you want. The city still has a huge library."

"That might be nice," he agreed quietly. He looked around again then looked at Steve. "Where is your room?"

"Mine is the other one up here. Tony's got an apartment two floors down next to Bruce. The one between is split between Clint and Natasha. There's a gym below the lab and I'll get you logged in there tomorrow so you can workout or beat the punching bag like I do." Bucky nodded. He stood up. "Come see my rooms." He took him to show him his rooms and it was nice. It had some art on the walls. He noticed one was an older looking portrait of him. Bucky stared at it then looked at Steve. Steve smiled a bit sadly. "The day you came home in your uniform, right before you shipped out."

"Oh. That's... I looked nice."

"You did in everything you owned. Back then I was skinny and scrawny." He pointed at the only photograph in there. "We splurged." He cleared his throat. "That's my Ma behind us. Your mother's off to the side." He let Bucky pick up the precious ancient photograph. "I had it restored and have a few copies of it saved just in case." Bucky smiled at him, putting it down. "I miss our mothers. They were great ladies and I learned a lot from them. Including not putting up with anything from anyone." He led him to look around the apartment. They went out to get the delivery when it came. The delivery driver smiled and blushed at Steve but that was nice of him. They took things to Bucky's apartment to set him up. Steve showed him where the washer was and all the other little hidden things like the dishwasher and hot water heater in case he wanted to look at them. Bucky laid down and Steve went to wait on the others.

***

Tony Stark showed up at Jane Foster's door with fudge, because two women and Erik Selvig would probably like fudge. He knocked and got let in by Thor. "You're back?"

"I decided to stay for a while," he said. "Why are you here?"

"I came to offer Jane room in my labs in Avenger Tower so she's protected."

Thor smiled. "That is very kind of you."

Tony smiled at the ladies. "Fudge? Organic sourced." Darcy smiled and took it to unwrap. Jane ate a bite and smiled at them. "I come bearing a lab offering, Dr. Foster, and you can bring all your puppies with you. That way you're more protected against the guys who'd hate Thor and you for being smart. You'd have full lab space, an apartment for each of you, though I'd expect you'd probably just park in Thor's apartment." She nodded. "Full lab access for your lab. All the wackiness you could want when you're tired of working. The only warning I'd have to give is Barton tends to walk around barefoot and Steve just found a former friend who was brainwashed so we're helping him heal."

Jane blinked a few times. "From when he woke up?"

"No. From way back when. HYDRA and the Soviets had him." She winced. "He's doing okay so far. Each of the apartments locks by handprint. The tower has a full AI overseeing it. We can get you moved this week."

"I..." She looked at Darcy and Thor. Thor shrugged but smiled.

"That'd be nice, Mr. Stark," Dr. Selvig said. "What did you want in return?"

"Dr. Selvig, I'm Iron Man and a billionaire scientist. What would I need? I'm protecting those that are important to my teammates. I've got plenty of room and open labs. It's no problem to me to do this. I can even find a way to pay your intern." Darcy hugged him. He gave her a squeeze. "You're good from what I hear."

"I am the reason Jane's never starved to death." She looked at Jane. "Well?"

"I.... Thor?"

"I find it a good idea," he said. "You would be safer and have a lab at hand for me to find you in and distract you." She blushed but nodded. He looked at Tony. "Thank thee, Brother Tony."

"Welcome, Thor." He pulled out an envelope stuffed with papers. "A set for you and Darcy and if Dr. Selvig wants to come, since I wasn't sure if he was still here, I'll get him a set. Standard non-disclosure, property rights for your work, and terms of the security agreement and your apartments." They settled in to look them over. "Thor, I'll have your apartment moved to a different floor with theirs. That way they don't have to wander too far to talk. We do have a communal living room and kitchen if you want to use them instead of your apartment's. We won't mind and any arguing about movies you can probably duck if you want to." Darcy grinned. He pulled out his phone. "J, set up the plans for Dr. Foster, her assistant, and possibly Dr. Selvig to join us."

"Yes, sir, the apartments were already being moved. That puts Thor on the area by the pool and Miss Lewis can have the tiny apartment next to it or one closer to the labs. That would put her near the bottom."

"We have that whole unused floor," Tony said. "It's in apartments."

"Yes, sir. That's what I was thinking. There's three on that floor that are ready to be used. All single bedroom as opposed to the Avengers one that has a second bedroom in case they needed something like an office or a studio. The three apartments are all neutrally painted and have minimal furniture."

"Thanks, J. Thor's?"

"He'll have an easier time to land when he's been flying around," the AI said. "Shall I make a lab for your father's AI, sir?"

"Please and he's not allowed to interfere in my lab without permission."

"I can arrange that, sir. The moving team you have for the scientists you have can move them in two weeks. They're open all week to move them."

"That's great. Thanks, J." He hung up and smiled. "My AI."

"That's seriously cool," Darcy said. "But your dad?"

"I found out HYDRA did it to him before they killed him. He's presently complaining about modern computer things." Darcy winced. "So he can have his own lab." She patted him on the arm and offered him a piece of fudge. He shook his head with a smile. "No thanks. I had a half-pound for lunch while being nagged by Pepper." She laughed. "She's in and out but she's cool." He looked at Jane. Who signed things and handed them over. Darcy did the same thing. "Wonderful. See you in a few weeks. We'll call to give you a firm date and email an identity file so you know they're there to move you and not steal you to some stupid area that's never allowed science before."

"Thank you," Jane said.

"You're welcome. See you in a few weeks, Thor." He nodded. "Dr. Selvig, just let me know if you want to come with them. I'll fax over the paperwork as soon as I hear."

"I'll consider it. Thank you, Mr. Stark."

"Welcome." He shook their hands and left.

***

Bucky woke up and wandered out to the communal areas, staring at Natasha and the guy he had barely met. "Evening," he said.

She smiled. "I made stew in the crock pot. There's still some that Barton hasn't inhaled." He smiled slightly, going in there to get some stew. He came out with a bowl and some bread. "Drink?" she suggested. He went to get some water and came back. She got him a bottle of water. "Never drink the city water. It's foul. It comes from the river and is supposedly cleaned up." He grimaced, taking the bottle of water. "Eat, you need to eat."

"Thank you. And for cooking." He dug in, glancing at Barton.

"It's cool, Bucky. I'm a sniper myself and we're all a bit weird here. Pretty soon we'll have Thor joining us too."

"He seemed strong during that battle."

"He is, but he's also a bit goofy and loud," Natasha said. "But pleasant." Bucky nodded, digging in again. "Barton, turn on the tv. You have the remote. Not the news." He turned on the tv, making Bucky flinch at the loud noise. He turned it down and let Natasha pick. "Ancient warriors." He turned it onto the warriors in history fighting against each other show and let them all relax to the noise.

Bucky snorted. "You can't do that."

Natasha shrugged. "History is subjective and they think the modern body is much better trained when that is not always the case."

He nodded. "True. We were trained harder." She nodded. Barton was looking at him. "I remember sparring with her."

She laid a hand on Clint's arm. "He helped train me for a while." Clint nodded, eating more stew. They ate and watched what modern man thought ancient warriors did. When Steve came out she pointed at the kitchen. "Possibly some stew left."

"I left some," Bucky said.

"Thanks," Steve said with a grin. He went to get dinner and came back out. "JARVIS told me he's moving Thor upstairs so he has the landing deck when I asked why the robots were so loud up there. So we're probably getting his girlfriend at least."

The AI cleared his throat. "Mr. Stark has signed both Dr. Foster and her assistant Miss Lewis. He's offered a position to Dr. Selvig."

"The naked guy at Stonehenge?" Bucky asked.

"He's a well known scientist but he had an...incident that was much like yours. Loki, Thor's brother, took over his mind to make him a minion. You usually need a lot of help getting back to normal after such incidences."

Bucky nodded. "I can see why."

"If you want, I'll help you find someone to talk to," Steve said quietly. Bucky shook his head with a scowl. "Okay, let me know. We can find whoever you need to help you get back onto a firm footing."

Bucky nodded, going back to eating and watching the strange show. He was still trying figure things out. This was weird and it didn't seem like these ones wanted to use him for missions. When Steve went to do dishes, he followed. "Am I doing training for new missions?"

"No," Steve said. "Not until you have more of your memories back." Bucky stared at him. "When you do, you'll have a choice. We're not like your last handlers. We need you to be healed enough to make logical decisions and know who you are. Including your actual name."

"Is that important for missions?"

"Yes, it is. Around here, it is important. You can't make good decisions if you don't know yourself."

Bucky nodded. "I'll work harder."

"You can't work any harder than you are, Bucky. You can't force them to pop back up. They're coming up as soon as they can." Bucky nodded. Steve patted him on the arm. "As you get healthier and more of your memories back, we'll deal with things. For now, just relax, don't try to force the memories, and let us know if you need things to help you. As you get more healthy more options come open."

"If I don't?"

"Then you'll be safe here with me."

Bucky nodded, going back to the living room to stare at the tv. He looked at Natasha. "Do you have training modules?"

"I read because I want to, not because I have to. I have books you can study on modern political thought and other matters." She stood up, nodding. He followed her to her apartment, letting him see her shelves. "I would encourage this history series. It's fairly accurate and less tilted toward a point of view." She handed it over. "I would also suggest that if you want to, you should ask JARVIS about teaching you some modern computer programs so you can use the standard things."

He nodded. "Thank you."

"Welcome." She smiled, patting him on the cheek. "You will heal eventually. Even if it is not fully healed you will heal and it will be fine. Steve would never harm you."

"I somehow know that, even though I barely remember him."

She smiled. "Steve's complex like that sometimes." She led him back to the living room. He settled in to read the first history book. He hadn't seen much of this between freezings and missions.

Steve smiled at Natasha, who tipped her head slightly back.
Part 3 by Voracity2
Xander was found going back to Cleveland by agents. They were basically trying to surround him. "Yes, gentlemen, can I help you?" he asked.

"Mr. Harris, can we talk?" one asked. He looked smug.

"Sure. As long as you know I'm going to be taping this talk." They stared. "Because, yeah, the visions mean I've seen some of you." He stared at one. "How is your wife you killed?" The man took a swing at him. Xander ducked and shrugged. "You're not going to get me to act back so you can supposedly arrest me. I'm not that stupid."

A TSA agent walked over. "Gentlemen, is there something we can talk about?"

"No, they're fake agents," Xander said. "They're mad that they got canned for being assholes."

"I've seen you somewhere. An actor?"

"No, I'm Council." The TSA agent glared at him. "Not our fault. We just do it so we all survive. We don't really care about the peaceful community." One of the agents screamed and came at him with a knife out. Xander disarmed him and dropped the knife. More TSA guys showed up. "No, leave the fake agents alone, guys. Before they try to arrest you too." They ringed the fight area. "I'm not going to resist anything but being stabbed. If they try, I'll react. If they don't back off, I'm calling their boss."

"He doesn't like you either," one sneered.

"Not that one." The guys flinched. "Now, are you done?"

"He's *Council*," the first TSA agent sneered.

Xander sighed. "Sure, let me stop protecting your lazy ass," Xander said, staring at him. "You handle the next apocalypse battle so the girls have an easier day. Not like *you've* shown up to help at any of the battles. It's not that hard. I managed it as a fifteen-year-old kid without any training. You hate us that much, you handle it." The agent flinched back, shaking his head. Xander looked behind him. "Hey, Paul. Flying home?"

"Yes. They moved a lot of idiot agents here. Including two of those."

"I thought they got fired."

"They did but the new director had to rehire two even though they did things like kill their wife and the other one killed six suspects during an arrest. They have probational jobs until their trials."

"Awww, aren't you special," Xander told those two. "Thanks, Paul. Be safe, man."

"Welcome, Knight. Try to be safer."

Xander grinned at him. "If they want us gone that much, they can handle the hellmouth. The girls could use some easier days." The demon shuddered. "I know you guys were safe during that. Thank you." He shook his hand. "You guys helped a lot by not letting the young and stupid act up."

"You're welcome, Knight. We didn't want those bad eyes on our peoples." He walked off happier. It was nice to be appreciated. When an airline agent tried to prevent him from flying he called their customer support number to talk to them and they corrected the agent's assumptions.

Xander looked at the TSA agents, shrugging. "I wasn't aware two of them were rehired but that still doesn't mean they can stab me."

"No, that's not a legal arrest," another man said, stomping his way. "Why are you threatening the city?"

"I'm not. I'm promising that if they start on the Council again, we'll move. They can easily step in to help us handle stuff but they won't and we don't take bitching by cowards who hate us for handling the stuff we have to handle." The one who had killed his wife lunged at Xander to hit him. Xander blocked it and moved out of the way. "That's still not a legal arrest." He looked at the older man. "They reassigned you?"

"No. I'm now the office director."

"Congrats. At least you have sense, unlike your predecessor who was scared of the tiny minis."

"I saw the wimp." He hauled off the agents. "What are you doing?"

"He's why the world went to hell!" one said, pointing at Xander.

"Sure, next time I won't have my car break down near a demonic biker gang so I won't have to hide in a cave, which incidentally was where HYDRA was storing documents since they had a fire in a storage area," Xander said dryly. The agents all stared at him. He shrugged. "Not my fault my car broke down. I don't know cars all that well. They never really interested me."

The first TSA agent screamed and came at him with his gun out. Xander disarmed him and put him onto the ground. "Arrest him for assaulting me!"

"Since when has self defense been assault?" Xander asked calmly. He looked at the older agent. Who shook his head. "I'd like to never run into your heaving girl sorts but I'm only heading back to Cleveland to regather and help some girls graduating to a field house."

"Go," the senior agent said. "Do you have weapons?"

Xander grinned. "I have permission to have weapons. Even from the current president. He hates it but it was pointed out that apocalypse battles without weapons make a huge mess that the government has to help clean up."

"You're not supposed to have them on a plane." Xander pulled out his wallet and showed off the shrank, laminated letter of permission. "You're to be armed at all times?"

"Yeah, there was a warlord in Africa who was really mean after I turned down his attention. He tried to blow up the town I was in because I wouldn't be his girlfriend, as he put it. Since I disarmed a nuclear device on him, and that's what got him hot, agents over there told US ones and they demanded that I'm always armed in case his people show up. That way I can handle them."

The senior agent stared at him. "Are they here?" Xander pointed at someone staring. "The guy?"

"The wife is the second wife of one of his soldiers. I rescued her from their village when it got invaded by animals infected with some sort of zoological vampire virus." He smiled and waved. "Have a great trip, ma'am." She blushed and ducked her head, walking off with her child. Xander pointed. "That's her brother-in-law," he said quietly. The agent winced, having people follow them. "I have no idea why they're here. There's no conference or meeting locally that I've heard." He shrugged. "Can I go?" The senior agent nodded so Xander left. He got called in for a secondary screening but they couldn't find the weapons. It made the TSA guys pissed off but oh well. When the President said you're to carry weapons, you carry weapons.

***

Xander walked into the main house and shook his head at the screaming. "Unless it's an attack or a puppy trying to kill you, why are you screaming?" he yelled back.

"Spiders!" one of them called. Since she was about five, he went in to stomp the spider nest for her. "Thank you, Xander! They moved in when we were gone."

"They do that sometimes." He ruffled her hair. "Go get a broom to get the webs." She went to do that. "And try not to knock other stuff down with it."

"I'll do it so she doesn't kill the tv," one of the older girls sighed, following her.

Xander grinned, going to the office. "Who am I helping move?"

Giles handed over the list with a smile. "I'm afraid they all need practical clothes."

"I'm not buying slayer clothes, Giles. So you'd better find the card. You don't pay me that much." Giles tossed over the slayer shopping card. "Gee, thanks for the torture." He looked at the list. He called off the names. Most of them appeared. "I guess the others are meeting us at the mall so you get practical patrol clothes?" The girls all smiled. "Great, let's go undo what Buffy's doing to them." He drove them there in the facility van. He found Buffy and stopped her. "Ladies, most of you are going places without a washing machine. Wearing a dress is the wrong thing unless it's a full length skirt. Jeans are practical but those of you going to anywhere in Africa or parts of Asia need not-tight jeans." Buffy grimaced. "They can be killed for looking like what they think are sluts. Sluts show their asses and crotches and boobs." He shrugged. "They're conservative. So no dresses, no pants that aren't loose enough to be conservative but you can still fight in."

"No date nights?" Buffy demanded.

"If they wear what you're wearing, they'd be put to death," Xander said bluntly. "Even on a date night. You're lucky the ones going to Africa only need to learn how to tie a head scarf." She slumped. "Yeah! They're not like the US and you have to live with the local culture. If you want to bring the cute clothes, go ahead but you can't wear it there." They pouted but nodded. He got them looking at practical things. He tapped a few. "You four are going to Europe. Wear something less showy than Buffy or Faith, but better than the one going to Egypt." He pointed. "You're going to Egypt. You three are going to Asia, in conservative areas. You're going to Brazil and they'll never respect you because you're not a six-foot beauty queen sort so trying isn't going to get you anything but sneered at because they're not into that. There's a reason why girls down there have more plastic surgery than anywhere else in the world. That whole area is into the beauty queen stereotype and you're not one of them."

She grimaced. "Shoot, I was hoping for guys that might flirt back."

"Maybe at the college but probably not in the clubs and they'll expect you to be bikini ready at all times. I'd suggest some gym time to make it easier."

She nodded. "I have been. I heard they were uptight."

"It's a gang filled, poverty ridden, Catholic country that mostly all parties until they have kids. They have officers down there who shoot street orphans and are rewarded for it. There's a huge amount of gangs and we have a peace treaty with them. The local head will introduce you so they know you're there to save their scrawny, needing a bath butts and aren't there to be hit on so they can hook you on drugs so they can make you their ho." She winced. "It's one of the hardest houses because of the local culture. The next hardest is Egypt but they're used to old and ancient things and tourists." He shrugged with a hand wave. "You're there for six months and then you can ask to be reassigned unless something huge happens. Then you can ask if there's a problem like you need to get away from the gangs."

"I can do that," she promised. She hugged him then the girl going to Egypt. "We can chat all the time."

Xander nodded. "Yes you can and it's encouraged." He smiled at her. "I'll introduce you to the people you need to know about. The rest, be polite, be firm, be out of all the stress and cultural bullshit. You only need to cover your hair. People will yell at you about that." She nodded, grimacing. "There's some who want you in a fully covering outfit. Tunics, long ones that reach at least mid-thigh. Pants that are soft and flowing, because you'll die in the heat, but aren't tight. Long skirts that you wear leggings under to cover up that they have a slit for ease of fighting." She nodded. "Pretty scarves for your hair. No makeup."

She grimaced but nodded. "Good. The girls going to an Asian house, be comfortable, not boob showing. Nothing too tight. Some of the areas are Islamic and some aren't. Savor having a hamburger, Ismala, because you're going to India where the other two are going to the other houses. Sexy is no longer in your wardrobe or your vocabulary because it's forbidden. Also, Ismala, you're carrying extra security devices like a few of the others are." She nodded, patting him on the arm. He looked at Buffy. "We need to get the security devices from the witches. Mine's dead."

"I can call. No makeup?"

"No. They don't want women to be pretty, because they think it encourages men to have impure thoughts that they act on by raping people. Their version of handling that is to make the women hide themselves instead of telling the men to have self control."

She grimaced but nodded, walking off calling the witches about that. They knew about those areas. She looked back. "Xander, Beatrice said the one in Egypt isn't that bad now."

"Bull. I was there six months ago to help Sylvia because they attacked her in her house for only covering her hair. They're not in charge but there's roaming gangs of them."

"Oh." She repeated that and the girls were getting clothes under Xander's picky gaze. They agreed it was probably a good idea and they could send over emergency charms. Including one for Xander, even though they still hated him. Buffy joked about it was him or her and she couldn't get to parts of Africa. They agreed it was why they put up with Xander. She hung up and looked at the woman staring at her. "Yes? Can I help you?" The woman tried to slap her but she ducked. "Ma'am, I'm not your slave or your kid. Don't hit me. I'll put you in jail."

"You're evil," she sneered.

"No, I'm a slayer. I fight evil. You...you're pushing me to the point of wanting to fight the evil."

"The offer for them to jump into battles themselves stands," Xander called. "Because I could use a few battles off." He looked back at her. "If I could do it at fifteen and so could Buffy, you can do it at fifty, or however old you are. You hate us that much, make us obsolete so we can go somewhere else. Otherwise, have a nice day, ma'am, before we call officers to have you arrested for assaulting Buffy." The woman stomped off with a huff calling her reverend. Xander looked at Buffy, who shrugged, her hands in her pockets. "I think they need to protect themselves. They chose to build on top of a cemetery and I'm not protecting their church. If they think they're that holy, let them do their own protection there."

"We can't do that. It might spread."

Xander shook his head. "We'd handle it as soon as it moved off the property they don't want us to protect. They're actually suing us to make us quit protecting them. It was in the news this morning."

"I wondered why we had no papers this morning." She came back to help the girls match good outfits. "We'll handle all the lawsuits. It means they've got to handle it themselves and not go out to hunt on their own."

"If they wanted to, let them," Xander said quietly, staring at her. "We welcome help if they want to do it. Means we don't have as much work."

"The local community will kill us," she said.

"No, they'll kill the ones who take out the innocent." He shrugged. "Which isn't our problem."

"No, it's not when others patrol for vamps or help in battles." She sighed but nodded. "If they want to protect themselves I won't fight it. Cleveland's too big for just me to do it anyway."

He hugged her. "I know. That's why we leave you Faith and a few others." She smiled. "Let's get them sneakers and practical boots." She nodded, taking them to do that and get pretty bras and underwear. "Get practical ones," he called from where he was sitting. He didn't step foot into a bra shop. "Not pretty. Practical to be fighting in."

"You can do both," she quipped. "You could come in."

"Woman, you traumatized me enough that I had horrified nightmares about watching you shop. You're lucky I'm in this mall at all." The saleswoman laughed but helped them pick out pretty, practical things. He looked over at the officer coming his way with the huffy woman. "Did she tell you she tried to slap Buffy?"

"No," the officer said, looking at her. "You can't have her arrested unless she hit you back, ma'am."

"No, she ducked," Xander said.

Buffy came out and looked at the woman. "I don't care if your people sue us. If you want to protect your own areas, do it. Take some of my work. I can use the time to do my nails." She looked at the officer and had to duck the woman trying to hit Buffy with her purse. "Can't you take her somewhere with a straight jacket?"

"I can at least take her somewhere with handcuffs," he said, pulling his out. "You're pressing charges?" Buffy nodded. Xander nodded too. "You, sir?"

"I'll cosign. I saw her do it."

"Thanks. Any others?"

"I had some former agents and two that are on probation, plus some charming TSA bigots, trying to provoke me into being able to arrest me. Including coming at me with a knife and a gun earlier." The officer winced. "The head agent of the local FBI office stopped them before I had to beat their asses in the airport and get bail money."

The officer nodded. "Always a better idea."

"They hate that we do our job because it goes against their religion. That's why we put out information on all the politicians that sold themselves." The woman shrieked and struggled, starting to pray for strength to take out the blasphemers. Xander got into a website and showed the officer. "She's apparently mad about her minister being listed by the demons themselves."

The officer looked, paging down. "Wow, that's my supervisor." He clicked on that name, finding the reason for it. "Oh, he saved his wife from the car accident. That's why we considered it miraculous. Only five percent."

"Most of them wouldn't ask for a full soul for something good but if you're doing it for selfish ones then they'd take more," Buffy agreed. She backed out and found that minister's name. "Hmm." She let the officer see it then showed the woman, who turned her head and closed her eyes, still praying. "Up to you, ma'am. Not my fault you're willingly blind and stupid." She handed Xander back his phone. "We're prepping some of the girls to go to overseas houses."

"Going to Asia and one in Egypt," Xander said quietly.

"Oooh. Have you tried the immigrant section?"

"We can go there later," Buffy said with a smile. "So far we've been okay." She went back to pay for the girls' stuff.

Xander looked at them. "I had to point out boobs and skirts were bad."

The officer smiled. "I do the same thing to my teenage daughters." He walked the woman off. "Maybe you'll pray enough to get miraculous bail money, ma'am. Until then quit struggling before I add resisting arrest charges." She started to shriek so he called in for help and had to drag her off. More officers showed up to help him. "Tried to smack around Buffy Summers for daring to out demon owing people."

One of them stared at him then at her. "Some of them at least do good things."

"I'd never blame anyone who made deals to save their families," he said, glancing at one. That one winced. "Better that than wanting to be president."

"Definitely," that officer agreed. The others stared at him. "It saved her."

"Hell, I'd sell most of my soul to save my wife too," one said, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Five percent according to the site," the first officer said with a smile. "Buffy said they take more for the ones who want power and stuff instead of ones who do selfless things."

"Makes sense and five percent isn't anything. You can get that much taint from a good boy's night out with strippers," the most slayer hating one said. "I'm sure I did when I lived like a rock star in my youth." He looked at him. "I'd save your wife too. I like her more than most of us." The officer smiled. They dragged the swearing and struggling woman off.

***

Bucky looked around Steve's apartment a few days later. "Are there missions after I heal?" he asked.

"If you want, you could join the team." He turned to look at him. "That would be up to you."

"You just want me healed."

"Yes, I do. You were my best friend and half of my soul." Bucky scowled. "Even though we've both changed, I just want you better so you can make your own decisions, Bucky."

"I'm not him." He pointed at a drawing.

"No, he's part of you but not all of you. Some day I hope you remember all the amazing things you did and hopefully not as many of the bad things." He stood up and moved closer but Bucky backed out of touching range. "Sure. I get that." He put his hands in his pockets. "I want you healthy so you can make your own choices."

"What if I don't want to remember?"

"Then don't."

"I can't stop them!" he shouted. "They come up when I don't want them to! When I'm sleeping! When I was in the shower!"

"I've had flashbacks too," he said quietly. "That's why I don't sleep enough and I spend so much time in the gym destroying punching bags." He grimaced but made it go away. "I'd love to not have flashbacks."

"So it never gets fully better?"

"Not everyone has flashbacks. With the way your memories are suppressed they might not come back that way after you get all you can back." Bucky slumped against the back of the couch. Steve shrugged. "I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the best to help you."

"No one asked."

"Yeah, they did. It was this or a jail cell, or some other government taking you in as a weapon they programmed." Bucky shuddered. "It was selfish of me but I only want you to get your memories back and to figure out how you want to live."

"What if they come for me?"

"They're not coming for you because I'll destroy them. I'll have help." He smiled a tiny bit. "I might even be able to call on some new contacts to get help. You didn't know this but demons rescued you from that bank vault with the memory wiping machine. They were doing someone a favor when he heard about you being a torture victim to HYDRA."

"Who?"

"Mr. Harris. He works with the slayers."

"I've read about why they came out of the shadows. He wasn't mentioned."

"He was in Africa training the girls."

"Oh." He looked down, chin to his chest while he thought. "What if I don't want this?"

"Then talk to Natasha about how to repress them again," Steve said. "Start all over from this point."

"I..." He grimaced. "That seems worse."

Steve nodded. "It'll mean rebuilding everything from the base up but if that's what you want I'll support you in it."

Bucky stared at him. "What if I want to join the team?" he asked quietly.

Steve nodded. "I was going to ask you when you felt you were ready. When you're back on a firmer mental footing and ready to be able to fight. When we can spar and you don't flinch."

"I..."

Steve reached over to him, squeezing both his shoulders while staring at him. "You'll get there when you get there. There's no hurry. There's no one pushing from behind. Even if Stark gets bitchy about stuff, I'll clean out my spare room and you can have it." He smiled. "You're still my best friend, even if you don't remember it. Until the end of the line, you're my Bucky and my friend."

Bucky nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He grinned. "Come see what I'm working on? I found some unusual flowers." He let Bucky see what he was working on. It was a pretty still life.

Bucky pointed. "You forgot a leaf."

"It wouldn't come out with that curl. I've sketched it a few times but I'm not happy with that one yet so I'll keep working on that part." Bucky nodded, then looked around. "I know, I've been doing this instead of beating punching bags."

"I can see why. It's special."

"Some are special, some are just drawing to get out of my head." He looked at him. "My therapist hates it but yay."

"You have one?"

"Yeah. To handle the flashbacks and all the bad memories that mean I can't sleep."

"Oh. Is he nice?"

"He's good, but he's blunt."

"That's good."

"I know one who could probably help you better. He's in DC though."

"No, you need to be here."

"I'll ask him for someone's name."

"Why not yours?"

"Because I don't want him to have to play between us. That way he doesn't have to try to hide things you tell him about me. Or me about you. He said he didn't want to be in the middle of that."

"I guess that's okay. Can...can you?"

Steve nodded, picking up his phone to call him. "Sam, Steve Rogers. I need a bit of a referral to someone up here in New York for Bucky. Mine doesn't want to work with him so he's not caught in the middle like we're together as he said." He wrote down names. "Are they VA too? Can you ... yeah, I do need that name. Thanks, Sam. Yeah, I'm okay. He's better. He's starting to ask questions and get interested in things. Thanks." He hung up. "He gave me three names and someone we need to talk to at the VA about your service so they can properly close out your file and make sure you're not listed as dead."

"That will make people come."

"Actually, I don't think so." He smiled. "Let's go talk to Tony." He took him down the floor Tony's lab was on. He tapped on the glass, not getting any attention. He looked up. "JARVIS, please?" The AI opened the door, that got attention. "Tony, can you help Bucky with something?"

He nodded, putting down his drafting pencil. "I can do that. With what?"

"His file still lists him as KIA."

"Oh, that. I can call Rhodey to see if he knows someone Army."

"Please. He's worried it'll mean people coming for him."

"It might but probably not that way since you're not able to be programmed any more." He called Rhodey. "Got a delicate situation. No, I didn't knock up some cadet," he sighed. "You know I haven't stepped out on Pepper. Bucky Barnes is still listed as KIA with the army." He listened, leaning back in his chair. "That's what they're worried about. Thanks." He hung up. "He will have two generals show up. One is one I worked with," he told Bucky. "Back when I designed weapons. The other is in the army and he's a hardass but be honest and point out you're healing from the brainwashing and you have *no* memories."

"I can do that. I do have almost no memories. I get a few flashes but nothing solid."

Tony nodded. "It could be a better outcome by now but without tampering or anything it's an expected outcome. Research on amnesia says it tends to be get broken into and then comes in a heavy flood for a while then tapers off before going back to flashes now and then."

"I've had a few flashes but nothing like a flood."

"Maybe it'll happen sometime soon. They say the smallest thing could activate it. Including a scent or a taste."

Bucky nodded. "Maybe then. Not sure if I want them all back."

Steve shoulder nudged him. "Even if you only get a few, I'm still with you. Even if it's just the bad ones."

"I... this is getting awfully mushy and I don't think I'm that sort of guy. Thanks, Mr. Stark." He walked off with his head down. He ran into someone in the elevator. "I don't know you, Miss."

"I'm Darcy Lewis. We're running here sooner because some science douche wanted to adopt Jane. Do you know where Stark is?" He pushed the button for the floor he had gotten in on. "Thanks, dude." She got off and ran that way. Bucky went back upstairs, shaking his head. She tapped on the lab door then leaned in. "Some science douche tried to adopt Jane to fix her theories and focus in science since it's clearly bullshit and Thor had to smite him really hard, like through three walls really hard, so we're here and Jane's going up to bed to rest the broken ribs and arm with Thor. The moving stuff is still coming though."

"Anyone Bruce or I might know?"

"He sneered about Bruce while I was trying to get her free. The guy took a taser to the chest and just shoved me back. He was scary powerful."

"Human?" Stark asked.

"No damn clue. I'm not sure if Thor knows."

"Okay." He stood up and came out to help her with Steve. "C'mon, Thor and Jane are upstairs. JARVIS, get them to the right area?"

"I have, sir."

"Thanks, J," Darcy quipped with a grin and a wave at the ceiling. "Thor was in a mighty temper that nearly had him blowing smoke out his ears. He didn't even have the hammer when he knocked the guy through three walls."

"The London police department recorded him as a theoretical physicist," the AI said. "I've pulled up his dossier. He has no connection to Stark International or Industries, but he has been known to send threatening letters to Dr. Banner that make him go green. I believe he threatened to have his body examined by the most stringent scientists and have Dr. Ross done the same way."

"No wonder he Hulked up. I'd Hulk up too," Tony said. He knocked then walked in. "Hey, we need a doctor?" He looked at Jane's bandages. "We have an infirmary by the communal area and it has a doc on call."

"I'll be fine for tonight. The ER took good care of me and gave me mild painkillers," she said. "I'm okay."

"Bullshit," Darcy quipped with a grin. "You got hurt by the douche nozzle of science."

Tony grinned. "He's not even that good. Justin Hammer's at that level and this guy sounds worse."

"If he gets his mind working after I harmed him for harming what's mine," Thor said. "I will smite him harder next time."

"We'll get pompoms," Darcy said.

Steve smothered a smile. "We can cheer him on without them. Thor, just let us know and we'll help." He looked around. "Where's your hammer?"

Thor scrunched up his face. "Did I forget it?" He looked at Jane.

"Big guy, we went from the ER to the airport," Darcy said. "It's possible. The last I saw her, she was on the coat rack again." She called their neighbor back there. "It's Darcy and I had to remove Jane after some weirdo attacked her for her love of science. No, like broken ribs, bruised head, damaged and Thor went *off* on the guy. The guy went through *three* walls. Can you check on Eric and have him tell us if Thor left anything there? Thanks. I know Eric never answers a phone. Have a better day, Dave." She hung up. "We'll see." Jane nodded, yawning.

"I'll call our on-call doc for a check of the strapping," Tony said, doing that. "And I'll make sure the moving team is going to be all right." He walked off. "Jane, come bother us tomorrow and we'll give you the tour."

"Who was the guy with the arm?" she asked Steve.

Steve grimaced. "That's Bucky. He's an old friend of mine and got hurt. He's recovering."

"Oh, okay. He seemed nice. He was real polite in the elevator." She smiled. "I probably won't need to help Jane with science tomorrow so let me know if you need my help with anything, Captain. I'm good at helping."

He smiled and nodded. "I can do that." He nodded at Thor. "Let us know if you need help, Thor."

"I can do so and probably summon my hammer." He went outside to try that and settled in to wait. It took a while for a mystical hammer to fly across the ocean. Jane could rest without him trying to hover and setting off her ribs aching. He could seethe and make plans for anyone else who came near his Jane as well.

***

Darcy walked into the kitchen the next morning and smiled. "Hi, you must be Bucky. I'm Darcy, I'm Jane Foster's assistant." She held out a hand. He nodded carefully. She smiled. "I'm not the formal sort. I won't pounce you to hug you unless you ask." She smiled. "I'm fun but I'm not mean."

"I'm...not really."

"Fun or mean?"

"I..." He frowned at her. "I don't know."

"Okay. If you want to figure that out, let me know. I've got to find my way around this huge city to find a great place for decent food I can afford." She moved around him, making coffee. "I'm pretty sure you're like Jane that you need caffeine before you're fully aware of things. Most of the guys here seem like it. At least most of them aren't like Jane and they get lost in the science." She looked him. "Jane will forget everything for days on end thanks to science."

"Steve said Stark was that way."

"Cool. I can help with that too probably." She looked in the cabinets. "No chocolate syrup. I'll have to get some for my own coffee." She poured his cup full, then got two others. "Let me bring this to Jane. She's a bit grumpy from the broken ribs."

"At least they heal in a few days."

She looked at him. "Not in regular people. It can take weeks." She shrugged but grinned. "It gives Thor time to fuss. Nice meeting you, Bucky." She walked off.

"Yeah, nice to meet you too," he said to her back to be polite. His mind was still trying to decode what she had babbled at him. He shook his head quickly and drank his coffee, going to hide from more people who didn't know about him. He ran into Steve in the hallway. "She's happy."

"Who?"

"Darcy. She's happy and she's bouncy."

Steve smiled. "Some girls are. She seems sweet."

"That's nice. She made coffee for her and Jane." He went to hide to figure that out. JARVIS helped by showing him internal security tapes of things that weren't secure or delicate. Darcy was begging Jane to drink the coffee and take her pain killer before she bit Thor or someone. Jane finally took the pill with the coffee and Darcy handed over the toast she had made earlier with a cheery smile. Jane nibbled and laid back down. Darcy woke Thor up from the porch where he was hugging his hammer. Bucky had a moment of feeling scared for Darcy but Thor only grumped and went in to hug Jane so they could go back to sleep. Bucky decided he could watch that one. He wasn't sure how to take happy, bouncy people. They might be threats that were hidden. They might be innocents. They might be problems that would come for Steve. He'd have to watch her to make sure she wasn't a threat to Steve.

***

Darcy bounded out when Stark called. "She's deeply asleep on Thor's stomach," she told the doctor. Who smiled. "I gave her the morning painkiller with toast and coffee. Give me a minute to get her up." She jogged back in there. "Jane, doctor time."

"Screw science. It's Thor time," she mumbled into the firm abs. Thor laughed.

"The doc is here to look at her ribs," she told Thor. He got up and put on pants, which made Jane scowl, but he carefully helped her up and out to the infirmary. Darcy followed with Jane's pill bottle and pausing to get a cup of coffee for Jane before she bit the doctor. "Here, to lube the science before you bite the nice doctor guy."

The doctor smiled. "I'm not nice, Miss Lewis, but I'm not that mean today."

"Jane is without coffee and food," she warned then went back to the living room to make more coffee and make sure there was bottles of water in the fridge. She nearly jumped when someone walked into the kitchen, making deliberate noise. "Oh, hi. I'm Darcy, Jane's assistant." She smiled. "I made fresh coffee."

"Thank you," Natasha said. "What else are you doing?"

"Making sure there's water and stuff stocked. Jane has broken ribs thanks to an idiot of science." She smiled at Bruce. "I remember meeting you, Dr. Banner. Coffee?"

"Tea actually. It's better for my blood pressure."

She poured a bottle of water into the tea kettle and put it on. "There, soon." He smiled at her for that niceness. "Jane's in the infirmary with Thor looking at her broken ribs and injured arm."

"Why?" Bruce asked.

"For the same reason you got letters that made you Hulk out," Stark said as he came in, going for the coffee. "Thank you, Lewis."

She smiled. "Science seems to come at the call of caffeine."

"Yes it does," he quipped. "Need stuff? Tell JARVIS so he can order it."

"I can do that." She grinned. "Where's the stockpile of bottled water?" He pointed at the pantry. She looked and put more into the fridge. "What about those bottle services?"

"Some of us are too paranoid for that," Tony said, pointing at Natasha, who scowled at him for it. He walked off happier. "Jane with Thor?"

"And the doc."

"That's good. Bruce, same guy that sent you those letters, kidnaped her to correct her focus." They heard Bruce growl. Darcy found a cookie to hand him and poured the hot water into a cup, handing him the tea bag container so he could make his own. He smiled and walked off doing that. Stark looked at her. "Damn you're good." She smirked. "I might keep you even if Jane and Thor break up." He walked off happier.

Darcy looked at Natasha. "I'm about to make Jane actual food so she can take her next pain pill. Need me to make an extra sandwich for you?"

"No, I'm not hungry. Thank you, Darcy."

"You're welcome." She smiled, turning around to make food. "Know any good place to get wings?" She looked but Natasha was gone and Clint was walking in looking confused. "I'm making Jane food for the pain killer."

"I heard from last night."

She grinned. "I guess that's why you're a great spy?"

"I am," he agreed with a grin, getting coffee and leaving.

She finished the sandwich and brought it to where she could hear Jane complaining. "Here, to soak up the pills." She looked at the doctor. "Unlike Thor, Jane's a normal human. When we break, we need help to handle it. We're not going to let you hurt her more because she's a normal human."

"She can't be if she handles Thor in the bedroom."

"I'm not savage and I do know how to be gentle," Thor complained.

"JARVIS, we need Stark please?" Darcy asked. "We're having a moron to normal people translation issue." The doctor glared at her. She glared back. "I've seen better on frat bothers who wanted in my bra and didn't get it." Tony strolled in. "He thinks Jane's super powered."

Tony looked at the doctor. "Where did you come from?"

"SHIELD sent me, Mr. Stark."

"No, I called for our usual doctor, not SHIELD's plant. Sorry but fuck off."

A girl appeared, looking around. "Why did you send me here?" she demanded with a foot stomp. "Damn it, I'm supposed to be helping my sister beat her abusive boyfriend."

"I prefer crowbars for those sort," Darcy said. The girl blinked at her. "Hi. Who are you?"

"I'm the Slayer Miranda. Just now on patrol clearance." She looked. "Oh, hi, Mr. Stark. Did you call for an emergency slayer due to the demon next to you?"

"I didn't know he was a demon so no, but what sort is he? Can you tell?" Willow appeared and took her but then came back. "Miss Rosenburg."

"Sorry, the emergency issue popped here first and her sister really needs her to stop her from killing her exboyfriend. Boys really need to be better. I tried to make sure Xander was but he's a bit bad sometimes, but not to his lovers." She looked at the demon, which changed and tried to scare her. "Watch me end your reality." She pulled up magic. The demon started to run but Thor caught it and slammed it into a wall. She smiled. "Thank you. It's nice when boys help." She took the demon with her. "Giles, I found a harmful one being a demon near Mr. Stark." He came out to get the demon so they could question him.

Stark shook his head with a sigh. "Great. Sure. Let me call Hill to warn her."

Xander appeared with a sigh, shaking his head. "She knows. She just found out when the whole infirmary tried to eat people. I was just there and felt Willow. She sent me." He looked at how Jane was hunched over. "Straighten up, it's stressing the broken parts, Doctor Foster. I speak from having *many* broken ribs thanks to fighting bigger, stronger things that think I'm a toy." He moved closer, checking the straps. "A bit too loose and shifted. Want me to properly strap them?"

"How would you know?" Darcy asked.

He grinned. "I've been training slayers in the field and there's no hospitals in parts of the world. Beyond that, I hate doctors. They're evil and the ones in my former town used to try to kill people for profit." He grinned. "I can do it or I can help Thor do it. That way he quits growling at me for being near his chosen mate." He looked at him. "Down, boy. She's not mean enough for me and neither are you." Thor snorted. "I nearly married Anyanka, Thor. You're not nearly mean enough to be mine." Thor shuddered. "Exactly." He grinned at Jane. "Want me to strap it?" She nodded. "Okay. Got something under the t-shirt? I don't want to seem like I'm groping or something."

"I know you're not," Thor said.

"It's better if she doesn't think I am." He looked at her. "You're not my type, they're not usually into hard core thinking outside of plans to take over an area." She smiled but sipped her coffee. "Okay. T-shirt up," he said, taking it off her. Stark turned around so he didn't have to look. "Yeah, the strapping slipped. Let me feel." He felt along the sides gently, seeing where she hissed and winced. "Hmm. We can handle that and the one under your breasts you can choose to bind them down for a bit, though do not use ace bandages as they can warp your bones, or you can just strap the others. Up to you."

"I can bind them later if I need to," she said. "Thank you, Mr. Harris."

"Call me Xander, Dr. Foster. I'm not the stick up the ass sort that some of the others are." He grinned. "I'm much nicer than them unless I have to handle an attack." He took off the strap and cleaned it then lined it with a cloth. "This'll help absorb the sweat and make it a bit more comfortable. I've layered a full t-shirt under mine while I was in Africa. Though I only had an ace bandage and I ended up breaking a whole other rib when the compression wouldn't let me move right during an attack by idiots with guns who hated white guys." She winced but he was moving it around her chest.

"Okay, slowly lift your arms. Any fast movement will kill you." She nodded, letting Thor hold her arms up for her. "That's good. And not groping," he said as he moved it under her breasts. "Not groping again, just adjusting." He tightened the velcro strap. "Breathe in as far as you can." She did and he tightened it until she winced. "Now, breathe normally. Let's make sure it doesn't slip." She did and he tightened it a bit more. "I got taught this trick by someone who had horses. That's how they do the saddle strap that goes under the belly of the horse." He grinned at her and tightened the other straps. "There. Can you breathe?" She nodded.

"Do you know how to redo it later, Thor?" He nodded. "I wouldn't suggest taking it off to shower but I know it's easier to do it without it unless he's giving you a sponge bath." He handed her the t-shirt for Thor to help her put on. He looked at her arm. "That we can ace bandage." He found one in a drawer and wrapped it for her. "Wiggle the fingers that make Thor blush." She blushed too but did it. He tapped it down with athletic tape. "There. How's that? Supported?" She nodded. He looked in her eyes. "Very mild concussion. Bad nightmares?"

"A few but Thor's abs took care of those."

He smiled. "Sometimes some friendly abs are great at that." He looked at Thor. "Know how to do it later?"

"I can if I must."

"Good. She probably can't wash her hair or back at all right now."

"I can help her with that."

"My ex's all thought it was great when I did that for them." He grinned at her. "Let him baby you. Tough, warrior guys need babying and fussing time because you being hurt makes him feel edgy and uptight."

"I can do that. Thank you, Xander."

"You're welcome. Not the first time. The slayers tend to freak out more about it because they have the warrior mindset usually." Thor covered a smile. "Very at times. Okay, pain killers every eight. Take it with food if you get nauseous. Caffeine will make you light headed but you probably already know that. Rest, let him fuss and baby you. Six weeks and have someone take x-rays in four to make sure they're healing."

"I can do that. Thank you," she said. He patted her on the cheek and looked at Darcy, who he hugged. "Awww."

"I need someone to get into trouble with. I'm taking the nagging ones to their new positions for a six month stint. I got to teach them how not to dress like hos in Egypt and Asia." He disappeared with a manic grin.

"That'd drive me nuts too," Stark admitted, looking back then turning around. "You okay?"

"I'm good," she said. "It feels a lot more solid. He's good."

"When you're in the middle of nowhere you have to take care of your own injuries," Stark agreed. "Though I'd hate that myself."

Darcy nodded. "I'd probably hate that too." They walked out together. "Jane, sandwich." She was nibbling it. "Stark, should I make you food?"

"No, I had takeout a while ago, Lewis. Thanks though." He looked at Thor. "Go rest, big guy. She's not fit to do anything right now." Thor nodded, taking her back to their suite to help her bathe the unstrapped parts. It was a good idea and it did make her feel special and fussed over. Plus gave him a good thing to do.

Darcy walked into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich, smiling at Steve. "Now that I've fed Jane I can feed myself."

He smiled. "We weren't sure who you were making food for."

"Jane gets lost in science and sometimes in Thor's abs. She's gotta eat. You can't live on either of those." Steve laughed but nodded. She made more coffee and handed Steve a sandwich then walked off eating hers.

He took it and coffee to Bucky's suite, letting him have them. "Darcy made it for me."

"I'll thank her later. I don't think I've ever met anyone like her."

"No, we didn't know anyone as full of life as she is." He smiled. "I'm going to the park if you wanted to join me."

"It's not safe yet."

"Okay." He went to get his sketching kit and headed out. Others could help Bucky if he needed it.

***

Stark went down to meet the generals. "Hey. It's not a great day. He had nightmares all night," he said quietly. The Air Force general nodded. The army one looked confused. "Let's go up to the common area. His suite's off it." He paged Steve too. They ran into Darcy and Jane, Darcy nagging Jane about not being in any shape to put together her lab. The generals looked amused but oh well. They went up and Stark took them to Bucky's suite, getting him opening the door with Natasha right there. "Generals, this is James Buchanan Barnes."

"Oh my god," the one in the Army said, staring at him. "This is going to be one hell of a story I'm sure, boys. Let's sit down, Sergeant." Bucky flinched and held his head, moaning and going to his knees.

Natasha and Stark helped him into a chair and she got him a cool cloth. "Russians found him when he fell," she said quietly. She found the file she had gotten for Bucky. "This is as much as we could find. He is in no shape to do anything with it. He's barely recovered any memories. This is the most he's recovered in the month he's been here." Steve rushed in and right to Bucky's side. "He had a memory breakthrough when the general called him by his rank."

Steve looked at the generals. "Thank you. It's hard for him to have any of the memories pop through." They nodded, looking at the file.

The army one looked up. "Does he remember any of this?" Steve and Natasha both shook their heads.

"All I have are screams and a few fires," Bucky said, blinking at them. "A few flashes of Steve being younger and scrawny but getting into fights." He pushed Steve off. "I'm okay."

"I know. Want some water or coffee or tea?" Bucky shook his head but he swallowed. Steve got him some ice water. "It'll probably be a long talk so you can have it later." He sat down. "Some demons found him with HYDRA and Mr. Harris had him rescued."

"Harris. The guy with the Council?" the Army general asked. Steve nodded. "We're not supposed to talk to him."

"Why?" the Air Force guy asked.

"Because he and his friends took down a special operations unit," Stark said bluntly. "That was torturing demons and had a plan for a super bad guy." Both generals groaned. "He said something about the general that found out yelled at them until he found out what they were doing. I'm guessing there's a problem when a slayer, a watcher, a construction guy, a behavior controlled vampire, and two witches take down a military program."

The Army general smirked. "How would they do that?" Stark pulled up the files his AI had found for him, letting him see. "Oh, they did. That might explain why he's handling Africa so well."

"He's more about handling things as they happen," Natasha said. "I looked at him for SHIELD. I find him pleasant but his contacts dangerous."

The Army general looked at her. "I don't want to know." He put that tablet aside and went back to the file. "So, you're the boogey man the Winter Soldier." Bucky nodded, sipping some of the water. "You don't remember anything?"

"Between missions I was wiped, refueled, fixed, and then frozen," he said quietly. Both generals stared at him. "I didn't even know my name until Steve told me in the hospital in England."

"England?"

"That was before Pierce got arrested," Stark said. "He was the dick in charge of Bucky."

"That's really bad," the Air Force guy sighed. "How many memories have you gotten?"

"It's more like flashes. Like a collage I see a tiny piece and a tiny piece and they don't go together. I don't have a full memory yet. I'm told I had fun when I was younger."

"You did," Steve agreed. "Plenty of dames too."

"That was probably part of the fun," Stark quipped, settling himself on a chair from the dining table. "It is for most young guys." Steve shot him a dirty look. Rhodey shot him one too. Then alarms started to go off. "JARVIS?" he demanded.

"Agents of unknown origin are trying to break in, sir. I've stopped them in the lobby so far but it's only minutes before they make it through the stairway door."

"Get Thor. Rogers, guard them."

"They're coming for me," Bucky said.

"Not necessarily," the AI said. "They're talking about the alien one. I think they're here to take out Thor. We have response teams showing up. Agent Coulson is here. So is Mr. Harris thanks to a demon. I'm not sure why but he went after one in specific and they're down. Agent Coulson's teams have the others outside two in the emergency stairway." Stark and Natasha ran out.

"I should help," Bucky said, standing up.

"Sit," the Army General said. "You're in no shape to get into a battle, Sergeant." Bucky winced at that name. "Rogers, watch him in case they want him too. We'll go guard ourselves and work on his paperwork in a minute." They got up and headed out with Rhodey, who got them into the weapons case. Barton was already down there ending some of the stymied invaders. They heard people running up the stairs that weren't being stopped and then someone was pounced by a dark haired blur. That one went visible and groaned as he broke on the floor. Two more blurs came up the stairs, one a literal blur and the other less fast. That and the other two demons were taken out by the three blurs and one of the generals put up his hands.

Xander stared at him. "I know you're not a danger. Your people are warriors from long back and usually honorable outside the poker table and them being talked into Taraka's clutches." He shrugged. "I don't care about you." The general relaxed. Xander put on his sunglasses, looking around. It let him see through walls and the floors. "Thor, two steps behind you and to the right. They're invisible until you break them but they're not real good at it." He lashed back and beat the one behind him with the knife, taking the knife from him. "Cool, I needed another one." He threw it at something near the doorway. "No interrupting. That's not why you told us they were coming." He looked around again. "Thor, right, the other right. Listen for the breathing, Thor. Shit, Quicky, go help Thor?" He handed him his sunglasses.

"I can see them when I'm zipping around. They're still too slow." He ran off.

Stark blinked at him then the other one. "The ones you rescued?"

"Yeah." He grinned. "The demon wanted to see me battle so he canceled his poker debt by taking us here so he could be amused and if I killed them, it's good on his people since they wanted to kill him and have a contract on his daughter's life for daring to marry." He pulled his gun and shot the demon coming up from the landing pad outside. "No, you can't help either. Sorry!" He waved the hand with the gun. "You don't want to be messed up in this, religious demon dude." The demon snarled and changed, coming in. The generals shot him. "Silver," he said, tossing his gun over and walking off. They shot the demon, which turned back, outside the scales. Xander slammed one invisible one into the wall, freeing Wanda. "Sorry, dear."

"No flirting," she complained.

He blew a kiss with a smirk. "Suck it up, Wanda." She scowled. He stared back. "By the way, that's Tony Stark out there. He's one of the guys that helps run the Avengers, which you probably belong with." She huffed but stomped out to talk to him. Xander grinned and went in there, getting the demon that Thor was struggling with by stabbing him in the back of the skull. It screamed but died. Xander pointed at the other one. Thor killed it with his hammer. Xander helped the other one up. "Pietro, go help your sister talk to the other Avengers," he said. The kid nodded, holding his head as he wobbled out.

"HYDRA had them made specially," he said with a shrug. He walked off, finding Bucky. "They wanted Thor, don't worry about it." He walked out there, shoving both kids into seats. "Sit." They huffed at him. "Keep it up, I'll treat you like bratty slayers." They shook their heads. He grinned. "Generals, you might warn people over in the Middle East that they tried to kill the slayer in Egypt for no reason. So they have no more in the region. The closest one is now in Cameroon." He grinned. "Had enough of the fuckers."

"I don't doubt that," the Air Force general said. "Who're you?"

He grinned. "Xander Harris, trainer for the New Council."

"Oh! Great. Pleasure to meet you. Is this an on-going problem?" Xander pointed at the demon they had killed. "Who was he?"

"Major mega preacher that's part of a demonic coven to bring down the slayers. There's nine of them. Well, eight now I guess." He shrugged. "They've been causing us problems since the battle in LA. The one in Cleveland is a big pain in the ass and is suing us so we don't protect them. Which is fine with us. One less area." He walked off. "Pietro, blood sugar issues?"

"No. Headache, Xander. Thank you."

"Welcome." He looked at the demon out there, going to make sure he was dead. Then he grinned. "Tell my dad and mom I said hi, okay?" He stood up and walked off again. "Darcy, you good?"

"Was locked in the bathroom with Jane," she called, coming out with her. "Why did they want Thor?"

"Religious demons?" He pointed at the dead one.

"Oh, great. Wonderful really." She looked at the two new ones. "Are you two okay?" They nodded, staring at her. "I'm Jane Foster's assistant, Darcy. She's Thor's girlfriend."

"Oh," Wanda said, nodding. "Sure. That's cool."

Darcy grinned. "Let me make some coffee. I'm sure someone needs some."

"Bourbon's here," Stark said with a point.

"Laced coffee is for late nights, Stark, not after a battle. You don't need things to make you lash out and use that adrenaline. That's why I'm not supposed to keep tazing people." The generals both smiled. Rhodey turned to hide his. "Anyone need anything from my trip in this general direction?"

"We're good," Bruce said, coming up the stairs. "JARVIS locked me in my lab, Stark."

"If you had Hulked out, he could've contained you or released you to help, Bruce. That way they couldn't get to you."

"I hadn't thought of that. Do I have a safe room you didn't tell me about?"

"I didn't show you the safe room behind the filing cabinets?"

"No."

"Remind me to do that later."

"I'll do that." The others came up the stairs with the SHIELD agents. "Anyone not okay?"

"We're good," Coulson said. "Thank you, Dr. Banner. Who's the one on the landing pad?"

"Religious demon," Xander quipped.

Coulson stared at him. "Go get sick if you need to, Xander."

"I quit doing that after the graduation battle, Phil. Once you've face down an ascending demon, it's pretty well downhill from there." Phil nodded, patting him on the arm. "Darcy's making coffee." He looked at Stark. "I'm putting these two in your hands to help them figure out if they're training or college."

"Eww," Pietro complained.

"Or training."

"Maybe," he quipped. "What help is super speed during a battle?"

"A crapload more than you think, kid," Clint said. Stark nodded.

"We can talk about that later, when everyone's calmed down," Steve said. Bucky came out. "You okay?"

"I'm good. I could have helped," he said.

"They were invisible and after Thor," Xander said. "And demonic."

"Fine."

"Next time you can do that unless SHIELD stopped the plan from the guys on that bulletin board who want to invade."

Stark blinked. So did Coulson. "What bulletin board?" Natasha demanded.

"The one you showed me. I did a name search and they wanted Barton." She pulled that up to look, scowling at the display. "Now that I've made the pretty one mad, I'll escape before I have to pay for the bad mood." He waved and didn't disappear. He looked up. "Oh, really?" He disappeared. He stared at the witches glaring at him. "I could've let the demonic minister win and take out Thor." They groaned but shook their heads. "Thanks! Since you guys sent me there to handle it! And I don't have my wallet so I couldn't even find a way home!" He walked off. "Let me go hide from cranky women before I go permanently gay. Pietro seemed nice."

The witches huffed. They hated having to rely on Xander for things but sometimes he was the only option. Not like the Council had bag n'tag teams any longer.

***

Stark clapped his hands, making everyone flinch. "Okay. Let's get the mess cleaned up please, SHIELD Agents we don't trust." They nodded, getting the bodies together to be carted off. "Coulson, if the NYPD shows up?"

"I've already sent them off."

"Thank you. Can you..." He waved a hand at the mess. Coulson nodded. "Decent. Generals, let's go back to your talk." They did that. The one with Xander's gun handed it to Stark. "I wanted to see his speciality bullet." He took it to the lab to look at so he could destress. A few minutes later, Darcy brought him freshly baked cookies and a pot of coffee. "I'm not Jane," he joked.

She smiled. "Yeah, but science needs sugar and caffeine or else she whips you on some sort of weird S&M gear so you pay better attention and give her better blow jobs." She walked off. Stark grinned, shaking his head. It was a welcome end to a battle that wasn't alcoholic.

Steve opened the door at the knock, smiling and taking the plate of cookies and pot of coffee. "Thanks, Darcy," he said quietly.

"You need the cookies for the good job too." She walked off. "Natasha, I put on water for tea," she said since she was still looking at that bulletin board on the couch with Clint hovering. She got Clint cookies and coffee too, earning a smile from him. "SHIELD agent guys, I don't make ipod thieves coffee so you're on your own but there's a Starbucks up the street." She went to check on Jane but heard the breathy sounds of 'Thor knows what oral sex is'. She'd heard those a few times so she made dinner instead. It helped her calm down. About a half-hour later, SHIELD agents came in to gather the bodies and Coulson brought her the ipod he had stolen, making her smile. "Thanks. I missed her."

"I know. Thank you for the help, Miss Lewis."

"You're welcome." He walked off. She put her earbuds in and checked the charge. Still charged since it had been off. She rocked out to her music while baking. It was a better day now.

Clint and Natasha shared a look but smiled at the perky one's attitude. It was good she could bounce back without crying. They hated crying civilians. She showed Coulson that plot and let him handle it for now. They were tired and had to handle the remains of this attack. Demonic ministers taking down the Council was a bad thing. It'd definitely lead to more work for them.

***

Xander got called in front of a judge and showed up. "Yes, Your Honor?" he asked.

"Mr. Harris, are you above the law?"

"No. I'm rather outside the law as there's no laws about how to handle demonic emergencies or battles."

"The agents here..." he pointed.

Xander held up a hand. "They were fired again. They're not agents, Your Honor." The guy glared at him. He pointed behind him. "Their local head, sir." He got out of the way.

The Cleveland director of the FBI stomped in, sighing in displeasure. "No, neither of these agents have jobs, Your Honor. They weren't the ones we were forced to take back by judicial order until their trials. They were fired for endangering the US." He looked at him. "They have no right to act on behalf of any agency." The judge handed the bailiff the papers, letting him see it. The agent shook his head. "No, sir, totally illegal." He looked at them. "Though it will nicely put you back in jail." He looked back. "Harris, what were you doing that they objected to this time?"

"Beyond breathing?" he asked dryly. "One of that coven of demonic ministers attacked people I know to get Thor. A demonic poker contact paid off his debt by getting me there in time so he could make better bets about the outcome." The judge moaned, shaking his head. "The NYPD has his body, Your Honor. I'm not sure what they've done with it. We do know he hired a clan of demon warriors who were untried so cheap." He handed over that report from his bag. "As they were using me to make bets, I made them tell me why."

The judge took it from his bailiff to read over. The agents started to complain so the judge glared. "Shut up." He went back to reading. He grimaced, taking a tums from the roll on his desk. "All right, now what?"

"Now, I've got to check on some of the slayers, Your Honor," Xander said.

"You don't have to," the judge said.

"No one else can."

"There's others."

"Not ones who can get to the ones in the middle of nowhere, Your Honor. I trained them because I was the only one who could get into the middle of nowhere in Africa and Central America." The judge winced. "Beyond that, why are non agents telling me I can't travel?"

"I hadn't considered that. They said you hoard weapons?" Xander pulled out his wallet to hand over that laminated card. "Cute."

"The original is in the main house in the safe. Along with the letters of permission for the Council to hoard and use weapons on US soil to prevent another demonic attack."

"Why do you have one specially?"

"Because I'm the one that wins them at kitten poker and sometimes from lovers I've met over the years." The judge glared. He shrugged. "I don't demand they hit on me. I let whoever wants to flirt. They simply aren't always nice."

The judge held his head, taking another tums. "Why do you exist to vex people?"

"Because they're mad that girls have to save them," Xander said bluntly. "We've been doing it before religion was created and they're mad about it. That's not my fault or the slayers' fault. We just have to deal with it as it happens. We've offered a few times to let them do it themselves if they want to. We can gladly go on vacation somewhere like a beach for a few months while they handle things." The judge glared. Xander stared back. "I don't want to deal with petty psychological problems because they're butt hurt that girls save them. Or that they're mad that it's girls and not boys doing it."

"You're all demon tainted," one of the not agents sneered.

"Do you think slayers choose that? It was done to the first one before you guys got out of painting on caves. None of the slayers *choose* this life. There's no way they can have it removed from them. Yes, the original ones did use part of a demon to create the slayer gifts. Yay them. That's so far back it's not funny and now it's just a spirit that imbues the slayers when they come of age. As for mine, sure, let me go back to high school to stop myself from wondering why some of my classmates were turning black and slimy before eating other students. I'm sure they would've eventually still killed the swim coach and eaten him. Probably." He shrugged then looked at them again. "We do what we have to do so you have the time to whine. If you don't like it, get off your ass and go handle things. We'd all love a vacation. If you don't like what the slayer spirit once was, that's not our fault. We didn't make it. My family's not bloodline watchers. Very few of them are still in existence."

"You nearly ended the world," he sneered.

"No, I didn't."

"You raised Summers."

"Willow raised Buffy. I helped with a tiny corner of the rite because she told us Buffy was in hell."

"Where your kind belong," the other one sneered.

Xander smirked. "Come say that to my face since I've already been there. We walked into hell to fight the First Evil. Where were you? Hiding with your mistress wasn't it?" The man screamed and lunged at him. Xander tripped him into the bench seat while avoiding the hit. "No, I don't think so. I don't like that." He stood up straighter, staring down at him. "You want me out of the way, I can do that. I can easily make that wish and it'd make a lot of demons happy. Of course, you'd all be dead." The man sneered. "Hey, Bert?" The demon appeared. "I know you owe me one. Can you tell him what his wish means?"

The demon sighed. "He saved the slayer Buffy's life when she did not realize it. Faith would not have stopped the ascension. Perhaps the military would but they would still die by the three he stopped in Africa. Two before rising and one afterward. There were others who could have but they decided to wait until the Slayer's Knight was lost to humanity so his warping ways of encouraging and empowering the slayers was gone." He sneered. "We would all be dead, mortal. Even me who is immortal would be dead. Did you want that outcome?"

"Better dead than having a demon save us," he sneered.

"I can do that for you," Bert said with a smile.

"Not in my courtroom," the judge ordered.

"Of course not. He should have time to wish his family well since the patriarch's wish would take the whole family." The agent gasped, shaking his head. "Yes, even the innocent's soul. That is a standard contract clause. We only really remove it for those who ask for unselfish things, like saving their spouse or child from near death." He smiled. "Really, you probably would have died if Xander had not called in the vision about the ascension in DC last year." The agent in charge shuddered and sat down. He smiled. "You can pick your manner of death if you wish but a lot of demons would lose status and belongings if they couldn't bet on him. We'd have to work it out that a higher being brought him back to help."

"The Powers That Be would never go for it," Xander quipped. "They hate me more than this guy and the old line watchers do."

The demon smiled. "There are other higher beings in the universe and some of them find you amusing yet crude."

Xander nodded. "Not like I grew up with manners. My first word was beer and it went downhill from there." The demon patted him on the head. "Thanks, Bert."

"You're welcome, Knight. We do like betting on you. Especially when you escape death."

"The Powers need me in six years." He grinned.

"Oh, dear." He swallowed. "Like LA?"

"Like worse than LA. Already on the books."

Bert nodded. "I'll have someone copy it for us on the Demonic High Council. We rule the realms," he told the pitiful human. "That way there's no wars." The human slumped. He looked at the judge. "Did you need this one to continue or can he choose his own manner of the end of that wish?"

"Not in my courtroom and I'd rather he just decide it's a bad idea," he said with a glare at the former agent.

"It is. I'd never want my daughter harmed."

Bert stared at him then smiled. "We wouldn't take out a slayer. We're not that sort of demon. She'd be given to the Council when we take you." He smiled. "We are most amused by the slayers. When they're not battling they're quite fun to watch deal with things." He looked at Xander. "Another one has that same problem the one in Egypt had."

"I'd be in Malaysia right now but I had to be here. I sent Silvers."

"He's an idiot," Bert said.

"I know. She has an emergency switch." Bert looked up and shook his head. "Did the witches goof?"

"I'm not sure about anything."

"Bring me and I'll cancel the poker debt once we're back here safely." Bert took him and he took out the humans coldly and clinically. The watcher he had sent was already dead. He gathered her up and got her stuff sent thanks to calling Willow. Bert brought them back to the courtroom. "Get her an ambulance please," he said quietly but firmly. The bailiff called. Xander put up his guns and cuddled her. "Hey, Bethie, come out for me. It's Xander and you're safe," he said quietly, petting her hair. She sniffled, looking at him. "If your switch didn't work I'm going to end a witch." She shook her head. "No it didn't work or no you couldn't use it?" The bailiff handed her some water. "Thanks. Here, sip."

"Didn't work," she said, holding onto his wrist. "They heard about us from the coven. The imams said so."

"Fuck them then." She went limp and sipped her water. Ambulance guys walked in and paused, wincing. "I just rescued her from the house in Malaysia. There was a gang sent by an imam." They nodded. "Gently, guys." They helped him lift her up onto the gurney. "Let me call Faith." She gripped him. He looked at the judge. "Sorry, my duty calls. You can bitch me out later." He grabbed his bag, left the glass there, and went with her. On the way he called Giles.

"It's me and you had better find the witch that depowered the emergency beacons before I do. Because I will make witch stew. I just had to evacuate Bethie from Malaysia and the group of assholes standing over her trying to kill her. Her switch didn't work. She also was told the coven told an imam who she was." He listened to the choking. "You deal with it or I'll deal with it. I don't really like having to shoot humans but I'll be damned when the ones there just died." He hung up. "Okay, Giles is mad. He'll send Faith down to help me." She nodded, holding his hand and staring at him.

"Ma'am," the paramedic said. "I have to ask the bad question." She started to cry and curl up. Xander nodded it was likely so he put that down. "How long?"

"I don't know. A demon contact told me and helped me get to her and back here. I release Bert's owed poker debt," he announced. "For helping myself and the slayer Beth." A tiny bell rang and he got a text message that said 'thank you'. They pulled into the hospital and the nurse gasped, staring at him. "Hey, Sis. This is Beth. She was in Malaysia. There was an imam who was mad about slayers." She nodded, going with them.

"Beth, this is Sissy. She's Dreama's older sister. If I can't be right there while you're in here, she will be. That way they can do the exam without me having to see you naked." She nodded, looking at the nurses. Xander got pointed outside and he stepped out, leaning against a wall. One of the janitors looked over, looking scared. "It's all right," he said quietly in a trade tongue. "She was on rotation where there were imams. I already handled it." The half demon nodded and went back to cleaning. Faith rushed in with Buffy. "Buffy, go help Giles destroy some witches."

"He took Willow. Is she okay? Oh, good you found Sissy." She walked in. "Hey, Beth. Me and Faith are both here to help. Do we need to call anyone to pick up anything personal?" She sniffled but shook her head and pointed at Xander. She looked out there. "You packed?"

"Bert packed. Willow picked it up."

"Thank god for Bert," Buffy said. "I release Bert from his poker debt to me for helping the slayer Beth." She got the same text message from him. She and Faith held her hands through the exam then they let Xander back in to help her calm down. They understood why Beth was paranoid and wanted someone who could protect her. The security team was alerted they had a slayer being admitted and made sure someone was up by her room so she was guarded. They got her moved upstairs and put on antibiotics, then got her a counselor to talk to. The girls helped all they could and Xander gave excellent hugs.

***

An agent walked in after knocking. They had waited two days for her to heal up enough to talk. "Slayer Beth, I'm Agent Willson with the State Department. Can we talk about what happened?"

She sipped her water and nodded. "I guess."

He pulled a chair over, noticing Xander was sleeping in the other one by the window. He looked at her. "We've heard a few problems were related to your rescue and we need a report on what happened. Would you know how your attack in Malaysia is related to the new hole in Devon, England?"

"We have emergency beacons that can remove us from things that are horrible," she said quietly. "The coven makes them for us." She swallowed more water and put the glass aside. "Mine didn't work." He winced. "One of them also bragged that the coven had told them who I was and where. One of the radical imams came after me with a group of men. I lost count how many." He nodded, making that note. "Apparently a poker contact of Xander's told him and he came to save my life with that contact. Then they brought me back here, wherever Xander had been. He got an ambulance while I was in shock and he handled things when I needed him to. He handled them too. I remember hearing gunshots."

"I don't think anyone would mind him taking those sort out, Slayer Beth. If their government minds I'm fairly certain we'll have words." She nodded, curling up some. "Who went to talk to the coven?"

"Xander called Giles in the ambulance. I remember hearing him talk to him about it. Buffy said he took Willow. She's got...issues."

"I'll ask her then. Do we need to clear anything out?"

"Xander said Bert packed for me. I'll give him a hug when I get out of here for that. It's sweet of him to save what was left of my things. I'm hoping my mom's picture was one but I have most of them in my box in the safe at the Council house."

"I hope he did too." He stood up. "Let me file this and we'll see what we can do about shaming them at the very least. Were they part of a radical organization?"

"No, he was just outspoken and said all women were no better than goats and should be treated like them. Me fighting evil meant I was stepping out of the ordained role he thought I had."

"Hmm. I've heard a few had that viewpoint." Xander blinked at him. "I'm doing the report for the state department, Mr. Harris. I'm not a threat."

"I would've woken up if you were." The agent nodded and left. "Beth, you okay?"

"I'm okay. He was nice." Xander smiled. She curled up on her side and went back to resting. She needed to rest to heal. And to eat the meal Faith was bringing her later since hospital food was so gross.

***

Willow came out to the gate, staring at the same state department agent. "Some of the coven decided there were too many slayers and they had to be thinned down. When I pointed out what happened they were horrified but not that much. Pity."

"England would like a full report, Miss Rosenburg. Including on any others they've done that to."

"They keep stranding Xander after sending him to handle big things. Like the attack at Stark tower the other day by that demonic minister." She grimaced. "I don't like that Xander's turned that cold but I guess it's for a good reason." She stared at him. "I'll type it up if you'll give me your email." He handed over his card and left. She went inside to do that. "The state department is wondering why I created a hole," she said to Giles when she ran into him. "I said I'd email a report. He said to include any others they've messed up. Do you have that list?"

"On my desk. I'll get it for you." He walked off and handed it over. "Let me know if I need to do one." She shook her head, settling in at the breakfast bar to type it on her laptop while Andrew fed her coffee cake.

***

Stark heard and growled. "I'll be damned," he muttered, stomping around. He ran into Romanoff, who he had wanted to see. He handed her the report. She growled, staring up at him. "I'm told there's a huge hole in Devon, England."

"I've heard rumors that Xander had to kill a few people in Malaysia." She took the report to look up the other ones. "Twenty-two men." Stark moaned, shaking his head but drinking his coffee to keep from gagging. "She's still in the hospital. Two other slayers have died thanks to not being evacuated. I think someone rightly made the hole."

"Him?"

"No. The reports in England say it was a magical battle. I'd guess Rosenburg."

"Huh." He walked off still growling. He ran into Bucky and waved a hand. "Not you. Someone attacked the slayers." Bucky nodded, going back to his trip to the gym with Steve.

Natasha passed on those reports to SHIELD so they could be aware the area was now uncovered. It meant there was sure to be a demonic problem soon.

***

Phil Coulson walked up to Xander where he was in the park on patrol with two of the junior slayers. "Ladies." They stared at him. "I wanted to talk to Xander."

"We'll gladly call off patrol," one said quickly with a smile and a nod.

Xander snorted. "Agent Coulson can go with us, ladies. It's only another hour and a bit." They huffed but kept going. Phil nodded and went with them, even staking a fledge when they were attacked by vampires who wanted to steal the slayers' clothes. It was some local fledge prank, which is why Xander was there. They ended that and the remaining vampires who wanted to play that way. Xander let the girls go home in a cab, paying for it even. He turned to look at Phil. "Am I in trouble for Malaysia?"

"No. The government said it was the only way to save her from that horrible fate."

"If I had heard sooner I could've saved her from it."

"They were going to kill her during the attack and burn her in the house, Xander."

"Not the first ones I've seen with that bad idea," he said quietly. He nodded and walked off. Phil walked with him. "If I'm not in trouble, what's up?"

"Most agents would have reacted."

"I got really angry," Xander said. "Which probably isn't healthy but it's what I have."

"You could use a break."

Xander looked at him. "You know that won't happen. There's no one else."

"Let me put three agents with the girls overseas. A lot of governments want the girls to report to them, not just your people." Xander nodded he knew that. "This way they can't put in agents who would interrupt the girls. SHIELD knows how important slayers are and even Nick Fury wants us to go guard them."

Xander grimaced but considered it. "A lot of your people aren't really able to handle this stuff."

"I have a number who'd like it more than regular assignments. Including ones that would fit in with the ones in Africa. You need to make a response team anyway before something tragic happens and you have a heart attack or a stroke from the stress." Xander smiled a tiny smile. "That's nothing to be fond of."

"The Powers would love me to die that way. Otherwise I might become mythical."

"You already are to agents, Xander. I have trainee agents who have asked how you learned your stuff and could we teach them some." Xander smiled, ducking his head. "You're their Jason."

"I'm hoping the Greek one?"

"Yes. You'd look horrible in the hockey mask." Xander laughed but nodded. "Let me, personally, pick agents to go help take some of your load off. We can sit them near the girls so they can get to know them and teach them how to properly work with them. That'll ease some of the strain that the other governments are putting on all of you."

"It'll take more than six."

"I know there's nineteen houses at the moment." Xander stared at him. "Bolivia was shut down by order of the church sending people but the girls heard and moved. Then they had the church eaten by bugs. Not demonic bugs but regular bugs. The diocese down there chided them and ended that church but the girls are in talks about how it would not happen again or those same priests could defeat demon attacks themselves."

"That's my feeling too. You're sure Malaysia isn't mad?"

"No. Two African countries are mad at you and you're lucky they haven't gotten you yet." Xander nodded at that. "Did they?"

"Yeah and I asked a poker debt to destroy the building so I could walk off." Phil sighed and shook his head. "I can see the point but we want to meet and vet all the agents."

"I can agree with that." He put a hand on Xander's arm, stopping them both. "Do you need to talk?"

"No. Right now...I kinda need to find life. I seem to be missing life. When I first went, I enjoyed the village celebrations and all that."

"You've been in too many battles." Xander nodded that was true. "You need to break before you snap."

"I'd never snap on the girls. On demons or on officials maybe but not the girls."

"I know. You know. Still, you need time off." Xander nodded. "One with a plan so you don't just wander aimlessly and fall into a depression you won't come out of."

"I went past that point years ago. An officer actually came in to talk to me when I was nearly catatonic with a gun in hand." He shrugged. "I told him why and he agreed it was a shitty job but someone had to do it and it was a bad thing that no one else would."

"Some would if you'd let them."

"We're not sure we can trust them and I'm not willing to take a chance on the girls' lives."

"I wouldn't either. That's why I'm picking agents." Xander nodded, taking him back to the main house. He nodded at the girls running past them. "Is Mr. Giles in?"

"He's got a source of nookie in," one of the girls quipped. "We're going to watch tv if you want to wait." The guys nodded, settling in with them. Xander got used as a pillow by the girls, and a cat someone had adopted.

Coulson relaxed and made mental arguments for which agents he wanted to include. They were all good, steady choices and he could switch them out later. When Giles walked his girlfriend for the night out, Xander and Coulson both got up and followed him to the kitchen. "Mr. Giles, I'm Agent Coulson with SHIELD."

"Has there been a problem?"

"No. There's been a solution noted that would take some pressure off you and the girls from foreign postings." Giles sat down and let him explain his idea and how he'd personally pick the agents. He had worked with Xander and a few of the slayers in the field. One of them was called and Giles listened to her about him. He called the director at home to talk to him and he agreed it was needed but did they have time to do the specialty training with the agents? Xander said he could go over most of it in about three weeks. That was liked by everyone. Phil set out his list of names. Fury agreed with all but one and tried to substitute but Phil pointed out he had aggression problems and no one needed that near the girls. Especially after the attack on Beth. Fury gave in and agreed it'd work and to report back to base the next day with Harris. Xander looked at Giles, who nodded. He packed up and went back with Phil. They even gave him a room on base.

***

Buffy came down the next morning, still yawning. "Where's Xander, Andrew? We need to pick up Beth today."

"SHIELD is setting agents near the girls in other houses so they're safe and they can filter reports to the locals so no one has to nag Giles."

"That's handy. I know we were worried they wouldn't do it our way and they'd be bad to the girls."

"Agent Coulson came up with the name list. He's worked with Xander and with Amanda. Giles called her in front of him to check on him." Buffy grinned. "So Xander's going to be training those agents. Maybe they can back the girls up for bigger battles too."

"Maybe. At the very least they could evacuate the girls who need it." He nodded. "I guess Giles can help me pick up Bethie."

"I can, Buffy. I do drive." She smiled. "I do it better than you do too." She swatted him but took her breakfast to go talk to Giles about that idea.

***

Xander looked at the agents in the gym the next morning. "I'm going to start off being real blunt because this is the accelerated course. How many of you have killed someone?" Most everyone raised a hand. "Good. Welcome to how to back up a slayer lessons." They all stared at him then a few looked at the watching senior agents. They got nodded at. "Agent Coulson picked you guys." He nodded at the few females. He looked at the guys again. "Right now, most of the slayers are pretty jumpy. Some of the coven turned on them. We had one slayer in Malaysia gang raped by an imam and his people. We had two killed in other houses for daring to be female and able to fight.

"We had the Catholic church in Bolivia destroy a house because the priests were mad at us. People hate the ones who save their butts and part of your job is to make sure they don't take out the girls next time. If another situation like Malaysia happens, I'm trusting you with my slayers that I can't get to right then. I realize I'm mortal but damned if I haven't had to save some from others. You're also there to back up the slayers. Plus to make the pretty reports to the locals so they leave me and Giles alone with the rest of our jobs. I will be popping in on the girls now and then randomly to check on them. Any questions so far?"

One of the women raised her hand. "Is that slayer all right?"

"Thanks to a poker contact, I got her to the ER before they killed her. She's not all right but she's healing." The woman nodded. "I won't say it's unlikely to happen again. There's a reason why the problematic demons gather in the rougher areas of the world. The one in Brazil changes every six months because they need to." He looked around again. "You will learn how we do things. If you do things like kill all the demons, that looks bad on us and on SHIELD. I would expect the slayers to smack you around if you do that." A few smiled.

"I made sure all the slayers got to grow up and be as sassy as they wanted. Even the quiet and shy little one from lower India is. I saw her whap another girl on the head with a brick for making dirty jokes." A few more smiled. "There's four basic weapons. I'm pretty sure you all know how to use guns and probably have some skill with knives. That will transform into staking and crossbows. Plus swords." He grinned. "Swords are very handy at times." A few sighed. "Other than that, there's classifications and there's talking about things like the poker circuit and how you tell the peaceful areas from the ones that are about to break out in civil rights moments like the one in Rome is trying to do. Any new questions?" Nothing.

Phil walked down, looking at them. "I picked you personally for your skills, your attitudes, and your ability to go with something weird going on. You will make both groups look good or you will not be coming back as an agent." They all nodded. "Good. Xander, let's start with a staking one? He's still in the closet."

"Sure." He pulled out a stake. "Standard wood. Don't use plywood but just any sort of hard wood works." Phil opened the closet and the vampire rushed out in game face. "See, vampire. Faster, stronger than humans," he said as he fought. Then he staked it. "No more vampire." He looked at them. A few were blinking. One was wiping ash off his face. "It's nasty and sometimes you end up choking on the ash," he told that one. "Buffy had it infect her latte one night on patrol. Totally pissed her off." That agent smiled a tiny bit.

"Vampires are from three to ten times stronger and faster than the average human. There's seventeen types of vampires. Fifteen die by beheading. Six by staking. Three by silver, and there's a weird crossbreed that you'll only run into in Siberia that's coming up. A few die by dead blood. Some you have to stake and behead. Yes, Dracula is actually a real vampire and he can change shape but only two species of them can. He showed up in Sunnydale to test himself against Buffy. I ended up eating bugs and Giles nearly got licked to death by his other wives," he said dryly.

"Spike insisted that he owed him money from a poker game. Thankfully he left a whole bunch of froufy furniture we could sell." He walked over to lift up the copies of the classification manual. "You guys each need one." They came up to get one and a stake from the bucket near them. "Stake making isn't hard but you need to make sure you get a good tip. Shoving a blunt tip is like trying to insert a helicarrier into a donkey's ass to quote one of the junior slayers teaching the minis that lesson. Which got her grounded for that analogy." More smiled. "I'm sure you all know how to sharpen things, right?" They all nodded. "Good. Then we've got a target over here for staking work. It's precision work. The heart's not that big a target." They went over to try it. A few grimaced at the bulkiness of the stake but they understood why they used them. Swords were going to be the real problem for most of the agents. Though most of them had bad crossbow aiming skills. They'd be practicing.

***

Stark looked up as Xander Harris walked past his seat and into the lab with his father's AI. "More HYDRA?" he called, following him.

Xander turned the monitor so he could definitely see him. "If you *EVER* do something to endanger my girls, any one little thing, I will donate you to a preschool after taking out your memory modules. Am I clear?" he demanded. "Even Willow caught your little fit with the whatever-they're-calling-themselves. It nearly got three of my slayers dead and if you were alive I'd be fixing that for you. We dealt with your last set of plans but not this time and never again."

"Calm down, Xander. You know I didn't mean to."

"I don't give a goddess fucking a donkey damn!" he said hotly, staring at him. "You nearly got my slayers killed by being one of the powering bad guys. If you *EVER* do it again, this version of you will live to regret it and I will find something that can eat your afterlife to torture your ass. Am I clear?" he demanded.

"I won't go near the slayers," Howard said calmly.

"Good," Xander growled, eye starting to glow. "I don't care if you think you're the next emperor of America. I don't give a damn if you're doing it to give power to your son. At least I know he wouldn't *intentionally* get one of my slayers harmed. You... Clearly you either forgot some things or you never learned them in the first place but you do *not* come near the people that're saving your ass that way. Or else we let you do it. I'm pretty sure your son can build you a robotic body if you're that hot."

"No, I'm...I did not mean to get near the girls, Xander."

"Bullshit," he shot back. "Your little 'tip' thing got them attacked and I'll. Be. Damned," he growled. "You'd better be lucky you're virtual instead of physical." Howard nodded, his image growing smaller. "It had better not happen again." He turned and found Tony Stark staring at him oddly. "He's trying to consolidate power behind a few old cronies and it's just gotten the local slayers nearly killed."

"I'd kill him myself for that. Are they okay?"

"No. One got shot. She's still in surgery after eight goddamn hours." Tony winced. "I just now heard about how it got started from a gang kid I knew when I was in LA. The higher ups he went to paid one of them. Oh, and that General Ross guy? Don't worry about him either. He's already on this shit list and I've got a nice missile I can launch up his ass the next time I find him." He walked around Stark. "Leash your dad or donate him to a kindergarten, Stark, but don't let him come near the girls again."

"No, he won't be," Tony said, staring at his father. "Ever. JARVIS, take away his 'net access." He walked off, turning off the lights. "I'll talk to him when I'm not just as mad." He walked into the communal living room, staring at Steve, who was wincing. "Xander told you dad got three slayers harmed?"

"Yeah. I heard him mention General Ross too."

"If he can fire up his ass, good," Stark said. "I don't want the guy after Bruce to keep going."

"Will the higher ups let that happen?" Steve asked quietly.

"Do you think they'll stop him if he's protecting the slayers?" Bruce asked as he came in. "I heard my evil arch nemesis mentioned. Is he going after the slayers?"

"JARVIS, what's he doing?"

"He filed a lawsuit to get DNA from the slayers for scientific enquiry into their tragic condition so they can cure them, sir. The judge has already denied it by stating what's known about the slayer spirit and it has nothing to do with DNA. There was a feint on the main house last night but the two agents doing it were eaten by the hellhound they have there. Two of the youngest slayers were seen cooing at it for the eating by news crews who lurk near there. They pointed out the remains and they found out they were agents and then another demon showed up to give the girls flowers and told the news crews why they had been eaten."

"Oh, shit," Bruce said, blinking at Tony. Tony nearly winced. Bruce didn't tend to swear. Ever. Even Steve started to give Bruce worried looks. "Can they be stopped, JARVIS?"

"Yes, I believe they were. I also believe the talking heads from Washington, DC have said that if the slayers have to protect themselves that way, so be it. It was on the news earlier but has been supplanted by the story about the local house of slayers being shot at by former agents in the employ of a few wanna-be power players."

"Great," Tony said. "Pull those up so I can see what Dad's done and find all the other little things so I can donate him to a kindergarten."

"He might warp the kids," Bruce said dryly.

Tony grimaced. "Too true. Well, MIT has his original machines." He sent his mentor up there a text message once he read over his father's recent workings. That way they could limit him off the internet too.

By dinner that night, there was an attempted assault on the hospital holding the slayers and they got blown up by Xander using artillery. The NYPD was horrified but agreed it was necessary but a bit messy. The agents had biological agents on them that could have harmed thousands of people if they had released them inside the hospital. That group of protesting agents got named terrorists by seven that night and Xander was being called a hero, just a very angry one. News people weren't even trying to talk to him, just watching him from a distance. No one was brave enough to get near him. Especially after they saw him talk to a nurse then punch a wall hard enough to crack it. She patted him on the shoulder and Xander sighed, stomping off looking like he wanted to cry.

***

Tony showed up at the viewing, patting Xander on the shoulder. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

"I'm going to finish killing them."

"Let the rest of us help. Some of us would like to see them staining the rugs." Xander looked up at him. "I would. So would Romanoff. She's in an epic snit, for her." He nodded back at her then went up to pay his respects. Most of the team came in to do the same thing. They only got the edge of the sort of hell the girls got but it was going to stop one way or another. The other slayers were there in limited number but the viewing was being held up here for her friends and then she'd be moved to Cleveland to be buried among her fallen sisters.

A few demons came in to pay their respects and one patted Xander on the arm, getting patted on the flipper back. The politicians hadn't descended but they had made statements about 'it needed to stop'. Maybe it'd get through to those idiots. NYPD was still there guarding the funeral home, just in case. The two other local slayers were among their sisters, one having an arm in a sling. The other looked like she had been smacked into by a wall with the bruises and the way she was moving. Tony had no idea why this one had died, the one with the arm sling had been the one who had been shot. Hopefully it wasn't intentionally killing her in the hospital. The city couldn't afford to lose a hospital. The others slowly left and the slayers moved to honor guard the body to the hearse for the ride to the airport. All the slayers and Xander went with them. Steve saluted them as they left. So did Clint.

They were going to make this stop one way or another.

Though it was strange no one had seen Coulson there.

***

Bucky looked up as the others came out of the elevator. "That agent guy that you guys worked with is on tv. He just arrested six people, all higher ups and two politicians, for the death of that girl."

Steve flopped down, watching the news. "Good. Hopefully that's all of them."

"No. There's still the rest of the coven of demonic ministers," Natasha said. "They've been slinging mud since the attack."

"Since before it," Tony corrected. "Three hours before it one of them said that it was a good idea if all the girls died." He sat down, loosening his tie. "He get them all?"

"Probably not," Steve said. "Thinking like that is more insidious than HYDRA in some ways." They watched as the arrests kept going. A press person actually got near Coulson to ask questions but he gave her a very pointed look and said that people who harmed the US's defense net got arrested as terrorists, even if it was the slayers. Not like the Avengers handled demonic battles. She gasped so he moved around her with the person he was hauling off. Steve smiled down at Tony, who smirked back. "No, we don't," Steve agreed.

"Only if they ask or need the help during large battles," Bruce said. The guys all nodded. Natasha fully smiled at them for it. One local news station had covered the viewing and caught them sending her off to the airport. The pictures of them saluting the body had been spread to cable news stations. Even FOX news was honoring her, that was a switch but nice.

***

Clint stepped into the room with the agents training to help the slayers, nodding at them. "Guys, let's go over some work so you can help make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Is Mr. Harris taking a few days?" one asked. "We know he was really upset."

"All the girls are like sisters to him. I have no idea but I'll be working on you bow and crossbow work." They nodded, gathering those things and going with him to make sure they were good enough. Then they went to hand-to-hand practice with Steve. He had sparred with a few of the girls so he could make sure they were good enough. That only left the classification work and they were self-studying until either Coulson or Xander got back. When they both appeared a few days later, they started asking the better questions about what they had learned. Xander relaxed slowly but let it soothe him. Coulson helped where he could and made sure they had what they'd need to go help the slayers.

Fury walked in, nodding at Coulson since Xander was answering questions about demon types. "There's been a request for him to teach other agents," he said.

"I've heard and asked him. He said he's not sure. He hopes they wouldn't turn into kill them all sorts but he doesn't want to make them that way."

"I don't think they will be. Can he run another section?"

"Probably. I'll talk to him at lunch." Fury nodded and left. Xander was staring at him. "About the other agents that'd like to learn enough to help here in the US."

"Do they have ethics?"

"I'd hope so."

Xander shrugged. "I'll talk to Giles about it." Coulson nodded, letting him get back to the lecture.

***

Xander went to the meeting with the agents who had asked to be trained, shrugging when they all stared at him. "Giles had a point. Not a great point but a small point." He stood in front of them. "It might be better if you did something like battle training since most of you can only work in the US as legal agents." That got a few interested looks. "For battles, we appreciate the help. A lot." Most of them smiled. "That would be a lot harder training, though you'd still have to do the classification stuff." He tossed down a book. "That way you can identify what's harmful and what's not. The peaceful demon community asked that we share that." A few nodded.

"There's a definite need for battle teams and people who can handle things when we don't get there first. I'm not the only seer the Council knows about but I only get huge things and most of them get things related to them or their lives. Most of what I see are or will lead up to apocalypse level battles." Everyone nodded. "Also, that could help the next time the Avengers have one too. The NYPD had no idea how to handle an alien invasion. Which, I fully understand, but now we've got to deal with the reality we have."

"Battle training would more easily come from military sources."

"We in the Council, especially the top team that came from Sunnydale, don't really trust the military fully. See, there had been a special ops project running under Sunnydale we had to stop." He saw the grimaces. "They were torturing demons like the guys Steve Rogers stopped in Germany. The army is not real pleased with us to this day for stopping their unit and the original person's Frakenstein soldier." One agent slumped, staring at him. "Yeah, just one of the wacky they were doing." That one shook his head.

"If *you guys* want to go to a military source to learn how to handle that, and I'd suggest sword work as well, or axes are practical at times but not in every situation, then that'd be a great thing and the girls would really appreciate the battle backup. It'd probably also mean that they could quit forcing the agents in Cleveland to be the guys that have superior battle burn out. Every single agent in Cleveland got replaced with hard core former military guys and they all seem to have PTSD. I had one see me and have a flashback the other day in the coffee shop. I had to help him calm it back down when he was coming out. I'm pretty sure those agents would like to go places that were calmer and more sane."

"We would," one agreed. "And most of us do have it. Thanks for that, Harris. He said to tell you if we saw you."

Xander grinned. "Been there, had a slayer have to pin me down in a marketplace." That one nodded. He looked at the rest of the group. "Giles would agree with this version easier. Hell, he's said before whoever jumps in is welcome, even if they're evil."

"What practical skills do we need?" one asked.

"Stamina. Sword work for beheading."

"Machetes?" one of the agents asked, raising his hand slightly.

"The girls in Africa use them but that's one of those trade-off situations. They're lighter, but they're shorter. For long battles it'd be nice to have something lighter than a sword, but they also break easier and don't come in nifty silver or partially silver editions. That silver can be important at times. Me personally for battles if I have the time to choose, I carry one, a sword, and half the time my special axe on my back for the bigger, tougher things. I love the sword's reach for a lot of issues but they're even heavy for me and I used to work construction plus I get at least two days of practice with my blades a week. Even if it's just sword and axe katas."

"Can someone make mixed metal machetes?" another asked.

Xander shrugged. "It might make them weaker."

"Is silver a common need?"

"Yup. About a tenth of all species are killed by silver." That got a mass grimace. "At least you guys don't need to know more than the basics of the seventeen species of vampires, six that have very specific methods of killing and two that beheading won't work on." He grinned. The one from Cleveland looked down and shook his head. "Yeah, the one they took the flamethrower to? It was the only way they could think of to kill it quickly. Still came back in the cemetery while they were trying to bury it. That's a stake with an old blood soaked stake then behead kind. It's also an energy vamp instead of a blood vamp so that's why blood kills it." That same agent moaned. Xander grinned. "I told Giles to go over the different species of vamps with the girls again. Though it was good problem solving."

That agent held up a hand. "I'll gladly take battle lessons." Xander grinned. "Thanks, Harris."

"Welcome. If you guys need ideas, ask us. Even most of the girls will give you ideas if you're respectful and ask questions." He left, going back to SHIELD to deal with his trainees, who were doing an excellent job. Today he'd video call some of the houses to introduce them to their future helpers so they could get used to the more area-specific needs. Phil and he agreed about where most needed to go but two he wanted in other areas and Xander thought they'd do better in the ones he selected, even if they didn't know the local language yet.

The agents shared a look. One took the book to a copy center. The rest reported to their bosses about the ideas Harris had given them. The classification manual got well spread by that night. Every agency had at least two copies and were studying it in case of problems. They were going to name people to handle demon issues. The directors had decided that over a lunch meeting with a lot of beer to handle the upset stomachs.

***

Xander looked at Phil that night. "I'm making myself obsolete."

"You are not. You're overseeing all the agents," he reminded him. "You're giving yourself minions."

Xander grinned. "Thanks."

"Welcome." He handed him a beer. Xander considered it then drank some. "Are you heading out on vacation?"

"I have no idea where I'd go."

"No fantasy trip you'd like to take?"

"No, not since I was a kid. Kids like me don't have impractical fantasies." He took a drink and relaxed back against the wall on the roof they were next to. "I used to want to go to Disney but I paused one day to go to the one in France. They nearly panicked. It took me an hour to reassure them I wasn't there to hunt something and the people inside gave me scared looks too. I left before they asked me to leave."

Phil patted him on the arm. "It's good that they knew you were there to handle things to keep them safe but that does suck." Xander nodded, taking another drink. "What about something like a beach?"

"I used to like the beach and then I got mermaid taint. Now I get all itchy and feening when I have to get into larger bodies of water. I'm almost scared to get into an ocean based on what happened when I fell into a lake." He took another drink and put the beer bottle beside him. He looked at Phil. "I had to shake a bad idea from Willow. She wanted us to quit showing up to talk to new parents of spotted potentials and just send 'hi, your daughter's a future slayer' letters."

Phil grimaced. "That would be a very bad idea."

"Yes it was. Buffy made her go take a nap." Phil smiled. "I don't know anymore. Willow is almost like Buffy when we first pulled her out of heaven. Buffy's still got that soul deep tiredness from her soul wanting to go back. I'm exhausted anymore. Giles is getting older and is exhausted. The scary thing is the next in line for the throne is a dick."

"We can help Mr. Giles clarify that, Xander."

"Thanks. If I go, or we all go, protect Andrew?"

"I can do that. Though I'd expect him to take out all the opposition and take over." Xander nodded quickly, finishing his beer in one large gulp. Phil let his mind worry about the succession line at the Council while he thought about more pleasant things. "What about Hawaii?"

"Slayers aren't allowed on the island by order of the last three governors," Xander said dryly. "They made Giles sell the Council vacation home there. They made it an act of their state congress that we were not to be there unless there was some sort of demonic problem." He rolled his head to look at Phil. "They're a tiny bit paranoid it'd run away the tourists and ruin the crops."

"I can see that point." He patted Xander again. "You should rest tonight."

"I probably will." He felt the vision coming and winced, holding his head. "I hate that liquor lubes that too," he muttered. Phil shifted to rub over his arm. Xander sighed and lifted his head up. "I just saw an ex boyfriend decide to kill me because I said hi as we passed in a restaurant while he was making a deal. Even though the other guy had invited me." He leaned his head back against that half-wall with a thump. "Great."

"We can stop that," Phil promised. "We'd like to stop many of your dates, Xander." Xander turned his head to grin at him. "We'll stop that one for you." Xander nodded. "Which ex?"

"William."

"I can definitely do that." He sent a text message to Maria about the vision. She sent back they'd move a surveillance team into place immediately. Then another text telling him to come in, it was going to start raining soon. "It's nice I get friends who nag as well." He put his phone up. Xander smiled at him. "The girls are getting better."

"Because I've been walking off and threatened to abandon them. Someone told Buffy about Libya."

"They know you'd never really abandon them, Xander." He nodded he knew that too and relaxed again. "A few more days and you can go on vacation."

"Still have no idea where I'm going." He frowned for a minute. "Or if I'm allowed. Those no longer an agent people tried to have my travel restricted."

"The judge told them they were far out of line and had no cause to file so he threw it out."

"What about their paranoid higher ups?"

"Probably not going to step in. It looks bad politically."

"I'm glad I never got those ideas." He sighed at the sunset. "That's pretty."

Phil smiled. "It is rather pretty tonight." They relaxed and Phil let Xander finish his beer for him. This was how things were supposed to be in their lives. Now all they had to do was manage it more often than the rare red blood moon. And keep Howard Stark from making more plans for his son's future empire.

The End.
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