Big Brothers Unite. Or At Least Find Some Sanity and Friends.








The not-Xander noticed someone in a suit stomping toward him, pulling a gun. It could be a problem, or it could be someone mad about a demon problem. Who knows. The guy was sneering though so he was a problem. The guy tried to hit him and not-Xander moved them away from the camper's door. The guy bounded off something and the gun easily caught him in the leg. Not-Xander looked down at the guy on the ground with his gun pointed firmly in the guy's forehead. It had only been a graze. "First, never try kung fu/parkour bullshit against someone who deals in faster, sneakier, and meaner things," he said blandly. "We're used to that sort of move and can plan against it. Second, who the fuck are you?"

"The kids," he said, sitting up. His head wasn't bulletproof and he could do something better in a second, once he was on his feet.

"Fat chance. I'm protecting those kids, including from people like you."

The guy touched his glasses with a wince. "Merlin said to relax, Xander."

"I'm not Xander. I'm Gray." He smirked. "And if Merlin had sent you, you wouldn't have tried taking me out first, dipshit."

The guy listened. "Merlin said...." He held out the glasses. "Here, you talk to him."

"I don't really want to. They could be poisoned or anything. Not like I haven't seen things like that before," he said blandly. The guy glared. "I can kill your dumb ass instead. Go inside, kids."

"Who's he?" one of them said, leaning out further.

"I don't know but he's claiming someone we trust sent him. Even though he tried something dumb."

"Merlin said to talk to him directly, Gray."

He snatched the glasses to put on. "What?"

"Gray, it's me," Merlin said. "I sent him to protect the children. Something huge is going on. Someone told him that you were the one who took the kids."

"I did, from the assholes who made them. Because fuck all that's going to keep going on."

"We appreciated that. Someone's coming for the kids."

"I can handle that without parkour boy."

"You can't. There's a huge bit of news too."

"What news?" Gray demanded.

"Your brother's...."

"Dead, I knew that. Though I'm still going to kill someone over that."

"Not hardly. We spotted him the other day when we had an alien invasion in London. Somehow his boss tampered."

"Is that going to call the First Evil again?" Gray asked dryly. He was still staring at this agent. The guy was about his age. Clearly not deadly enough since he wasn't trying to flirt. Only the deadly sort liked them enough to flirt. It was a good measurement of badass and bad people.

"No. We hope not. I waylaid him and asked him about you. He's got all his memories but his face did this cramping look when I mentioned you. Also, your mum's found out."

"Great! If it was safer, I'd let the kids go visit grandma."

"We have a granma?" the kids squealed. They had learned about them from some of the mini slayers they worked with and played with.

Gray grinned back at them. "Yes, you do. I wasn't hatched from an egg, guys. It's just not safe for us to introduce you. There's idiots. That's why I told you four that there's only a few people who you can trust. Who are they?"

"Mr. Frank, Mr. Clint, and Mr. Merlin," the kids chimed.

"Very good." He smiled then at the agent guy. He finally decided to put his gun up.

"Is Merlin a wizard?" one asked. "Like in the book you read to us? They all swore to Merlin instead of any gods."

"Not exactly," the guy on the ground said. He sat up, putting some pressure on the graze on his leg. "He's amazing but only does magic with computers."

"Ooooh." The kids shared a look.

One hopped down, walking over to stare at him. "Are you a wizard like Harry was?"

He smiled. "I knew someone named Harry but he wasn't a wizard. He was an agent. A good bloke. He worked with Merlin too."

The kid nodded, then kicked him in the nuts. The guy groaned. "You're not one of the ones we're supposed to trust." She skipped back to the camper, climbing back inside. "I'm getting a drink, Gray."

"Sure. Don't spill it. We won't hit a town for two days." He looked at the guy. "Wow, you passed training with that?" Merlin was giggling. "So?" he demanded. "Now what?"

"We need you and your twin to show back up. Let Galahad protect you, Gray. Someone's mad that your mother found out about the kids. She's having a bit of a temper. I sent an agent to talk to her about things. She didn't know about you."

"I figured that or I would've seen her. Okay. Where are we falling back to? And I have a battle in two days. Xander has one in six. His is bigger so I've got to finish mine then hurry to his."

"We'll meet you with his. Where?"

"Lesotho."

"Great. All right, take Galahad with you. He's got his own supplies and he can at least watch the kids during the battles if not help."

"If they're coming, they should probably be watched."

"Hmm. We're not sure if your mom's friends won't show up first and you don't know all of them. I'll send him their dossiers so he can share and you can prep the kids before they meet your mother. She nearly destroyed the agent I sent."

"Hmm. Well, Agent Ass Wiggle might've helped more."

"Point. I hadn't thought about him. All right, take him with you. You don't have to pamper him. He's got survival training."

"Fine. Any other commands, Merlin?"

"Yeah, I'll do a supply drop to Lesotho. I need their sizes. I doubt they have anything you'd want your mother to meet them in, or you."

"We just got them new clothes but they could use some new kevlar gear."

"I can handle that. Hand the glasses back to Galahad." Xander tossed them over. Merlin sighed. "Who briefed you on this?" he asked.

"Bors."

"An idiot and his mouth need to part," Merlin complained. "I'll brief you while you travel with him to help him protect the kids. He's got an unusual twin who has the other three kids. Also be aware you may see agents from another agency. If so, don't destroy them. At all. No matter how sneering they are. Got it?"

"Yes, Merlin." He stood up. "I hid my pack in the bush," he said, going back to get it and coming back. "Sorry, Gray. All I heard was you weren't supposed to have those kids."

"Bullshit. I saved them from the assholes who made them without their parents' consent or help. Just like they did me." He walked off. "I've got to dump the waste. You might want to stay over there."

"Sure. Whatever you need me to do until we can meet up."

"Good boy," Merlin said. "Watch the kids, they're sneakier than you are."

Galahad looked at them, smiling some. "Hi, kids. I'm Galahad." He waved a bit.

"You're a knight?" one asked. "Wow. No armor like Big Brother wears." He shrugged. "Boring knights with manners and stuff." He walked off. The others followed him to the back bedroom so they could watch their 'big brother' dump the nasty stuff.

"Eww, poo hole!" the kids complained. "Yucky!" The two adults laughed.

Merlin cleared his throat. "All right, open your tablet." Galahad did that and the dossiers was downloaded. "See the first six?"

"Yeah."

"Trust them. That's his brother, his brother's agent since his brother's a handler, his mother, his father, a local contact, and one of their friends that knows about all this who was noted to be traveling that way."

Galahad paged through it, nodding. "I know that name. We heard about her in class."

"Yeah, you do. Long story short, they hated she got pregnant with her first kid, tried to make her abort it. Saw how good he was doing and took the opportunity when she got shot in the stomach to remove an ovary and make a second kid, which she did not know about. She's all but destroyed Arthur. He's still getting stitches after four hours. She cleaned her nails genteelly. We should've tried to get her when she was younger." The sound of him sipping some coffee. "Notice his father is Russian."

"I did. That's...."

"Her people had an absolute fit and had her try to kill him. She shot him three times and she's so good he woke up a few days later from the very close shot. Missed by millimeters. On purpose. She's still in practice by the way. I've told her I sent you to watch over her son, but no one's told her about the kiddies yet."

Galahad nodded. "I'd want some better bulletproof armor when you do. The ones trying to harm them?"

"Could be anyone from his big brother's boss, who would love such a legacy, to others who started the program to create such a legacy, to those who would want to start their own by taking the kids in to train them. Not that I think they'd manage it. Those kids are more stubborn than I am, each. Then they combine it. Watch out."

"I felt." He looked back, smiling. "Merlin's telling me about the guys I gotta protect you four from."

She nodded, sucking her thumb. "Is Merlin nice?"

"Yeah, he's pretty decent." He grinned. "Maybe you can meet him soon."

"That'd be nice. We need more uncles who read. Do you read?" she asked, moving closer.

"I do read and I'll gladly do it in a few minutes." He put a hand on his gun. "No lifting from me," he said with a smirk. She slapped him on the cheek with a smile then skipped back to the back area.

Merlin was clearly amused. "Told you so. Share those. I've sent the major players who might want the kid to the tablet for you to share. He's going to hit Fury. I'm going to hit Fury too though so one only needs to see who gets there first."

"Sure, I can do that. Any other orders?"

"If you're in the battle, wear the suit. Even if it's too hot, it'll help protect you from poisoned claws and the like. We're working on upping that coating so the demon product covered bullets can't graze you again." He hung up before going to scream at someone for prepping the young agent for this mission.

Galahad turned off the glasses, staring at Gray when he came back. "I've got dossiers for you to go over. Including on your mum and dad, plus on your big brother. There's also a lot of bad guys."

"It figures. That's why my twin and I guard the kids from everyone."

"Why did Merlin call you unusual twins?"

"Well, we're not natural twins."

"Then why are you two? Clones?"

"Troll hammer."

"Troll.... huh?"

Gray grinned. "Troll hammer. Mystical troll hammer." He walked around him. "I'm moving us. Even with the hole filled it still stinks."

"Sure." He climbed in and closed the door, locking it. "Four kids and a baby?" he guessed.

"Yeah. The baby's a baby slayer. We're taking her to a better slayer mommy. Her mother's village got destroyed and she ordered me to. Check her diaper?"

"I can do that. I've got a baby sis." He checked the baby's diaper, smiling at her. "Hi, luv. Are you okay? Wet? Nasty?" The baby cooed and kicked, making goofy faces. "That's good. Happy babies are a treasure." He settled in to feed her the bottle one of the older kids handed him. "You guys need things like diapers?" They all looked grossed out and shook their heads. "That's fine then. After I feed her I'll read to you guys?" They nodded, settling in with a book for him to read.

Yeah, he could handle this. Not much worse than his baby sister. Yet. Though he hoped his baby sister never cuddled weapons like these ones did. It was a bit weird how they decided to snuggle up to a sword like it was a teddy.

***

Gray pulled into the battle site at Lesotho. He got out, heading over to the other camper, leaning in. "Small update."

"I've heard rumors," his twin said, turning to look at him. He had three babies.

"Merlin sent an agent." His twin glared. "To save us. Our mother's heard. Big brother's not dead." His twin was growling. "Merlin said their higher up had to get four hours of stitches thanks to our mother. So we have Galahad helping with the kids. But he does have a baby sister so the kids don't do more than creep him out when they try to steal his gun."

"That's nice." He took the tablet his twin was holding out to look through. "Wow."

"Yup."

"Who brought our brother back and do we have to worry about the First Evil?"

"No. It was alien."

"Fuck. I thought the Asgardian guys were weird."

"Merlin spotted him in London thanks to Asgard sharing their problems."

"I saw that footage." He handed it back. "Sure, I can handle that. The other guy?" He looked over his shoulder. "I've seen your picture. One of the bigger slayers spotted you."

"Could be. I've had a few missions."

"Cool. What are your orders? I ask because if I have to kill you I'll use you as a poker stake."

"That's nasty," Galahad said with a smile. He wanted to stay on these two's good side. "I'm to protect the kids. If you need my help with the battle, I can if I know what I'm doing, but otherwise I'm to protect the kids. You got three?"

"Yeah. I took the smaller group since they're so young."

"We dropped the baby slayer off on Nirat," Gray told him.

"Cool. I'm sure her mother will be happy to watch over her."

"She was having 'my daughter's too grown up' feelings and we arranged for the baby's stipend to come to her so they're not suffering." He leaned in the doorway. "They mobile yet?"

"Not really. A few attempts at crawling." He glanced at them then back at his twin. "I think they're hiding it from me."

"Cool. We can bring them to my camper for the battle. Three hours?" Xander nodded. "Okay." He came up to grab the diaper bag and some formula and bottles to premake.

"I've got it. I've got a baby sis and my mum didn't breastfeed," Galahad said. He took one of the kids to look at, getting smiled at. "It's good you're happy. One of the kids snuck out, I can hear giggling about mud."

Gray looked back. "Mud later, guys. We've got a battle in a few." They carried the babies over and Galahad settled in to watch over them while the twins made plans, checked weapons, and dealt with locals.

Galahad looked over as a guy walked casually toward him. "Frank Moses," he said in greeting.

"Do I know you, kid?"

"Merlin sent me. I'm Galahad. He sent me your edited dossier."

"Oh, one of them. We've heard. Your boss walking again?"

"Hopefully. I'm watching the kids while they have a battle."

"That's nice." He walked to the other camper, knocking on the side first. The door opened. "Xander."

"Gray," he corrected but smirked. "Xander's inside." He stared at him. "It's not really safe here."

"I can handle artillery. Your mother's a few miles away. Your dad's pacing."

"We.... Does she know all of it?"

"Not exactly. We told her about how you came into being and how you had made sure they didn't have any other kids, but that she had grandkids. She's livid."

"Sorry."

"I'm out of range. Sarah's helping her angst. Want to bring the kids there?"

"Not yet. Let's handle the battle. The campers both hold weapons."

"I can just cart the kids, leaving you with the rookie."

"He is?"

"He's had a few missions. He's a first year guy though. Good but a first year guy. Too fancy too."

"Yeah, he tried to parkour an attack on me," Gray said dryly. "I pointed out how stupid that was. Merlin told him he got told the wrong things."

"Figures. Want me to bring them with me?"

"You sure they can be safe? I've heard others are looking for them. Including from Agent Ass Wiggle."

"Who?"

"Young, cute guy that looks like that guy on that fake history show?"

"Oh, him. He calls me Grandpa," he said blandly.

Xander smirked back at him. "I'd call you daddy, Frank, but you're taken."

"Thanks, Xander." He took the tablet to look over, nodding. "Yeah, they're a problem and I've seen Fury. I'll let your parents have him."

"Did she know our brother was dead?"

"No." Frank smirked. "I'll let her know though. Let me take all the kids. I'll send the rookie back." He handed back the tablet. "I'm evacuating the kids to grandma and grandpa so they can get the fussing out of the way first. Then you and I are coming back to help with the battle, kid."

"Fine. Is that what you wanted, Gray?"

"Yeah, that's fine. They like to clap at the artillery but it'll be fine I guess. Or we'll come rescue you guys."

"Sure." He gathered up everything, taking the kids to the van Frank had. They all got strapped into car seats and Frank drove them off. "She's going to attack me?"

"No. I'll explain it." They made it to the hotel a few minutes later. "We should probably get the car seats upstairs too just in case." He got a cart from the hotel clerk and they got the kids upstairs. They were staring at things but only one went to check out a fake plant. Galahad herded her back to the group. Frank knocked on the right door, staring at the woman. She was tall, had white/silver hair, looked regal, and was dressed down in clothes that she could kill someone in but not worry about getting messy in. "Don't hurt the kid. Galahad got sent by Merlin to guard 'em. They even tried to screw him up before Merlin heard."

"That's charming of Merlin," she said dryly. "Who are these delightful, scary children?"

"The ones your sons were raising," Galahad said. "Something about a group that made him too."

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

"It gets worse," Frank said. "We found out that Fury did something to Philip. He had apparently been dead for a while."

She stared. "I'm going to torture that man," she said with a smile. "Thank you, Frank."

"We've gotta get back to the battle, ma'am," Galahad said.

She flapped a hand. "I can watch my grandchildren. Be safe. I wish to see my son...."

"Sons," Frank said. "Somehow there's two."

"Gray said a troll hammer," Galahad said, looking at him. "I never did get that explained."

She sighed, then sucked in a deep breath. "I'll find that out myself in a few hours, boys. Let me have the children."

"Watch for guys like Fury," Galahad said. "Merlin sent me thirteen dossiers for just the head people that want them. I can share later."

She patted him on the cheek. "They'll be totally safe with me, Galahad." The kids got put inside with the cars seats and diaper bags. "Have a good battle, boys." They nodded and left. She sat down, staring at the children. "Are you my grandchildren?" she asked with a smile. They grinned at her.

One of the older ones walked over to her and hugged her. "Granma. Big brother just told us about you." He snuggled in. "Granmas are nice."

"I do try," she said, smiling down at him. "Would you others like hugs?"

They pounced her to cuddle. "You do cuddle good," one of the girls cooed.

"Thank you, sweetheart." She looked over as the suite's door opened. "There's been a few alternations to the plans, Ivan. Oh, Sarah, can you check the babies?"

"Sure. They scare me but I've sat a few of them." She checked them, they were sleeping and didn't need a diaper change. "They seem okay." She sat down. "Hi, guys. I'm Sarah."

"We don't know you," one said.

"I work with Frank."

"We trust Mr. Frank," another said. "Big brother said to."

"That's great." She smiled and patted that one on the head. "It'll be okay. You have a great grandma and grandpa. This is Ivan, he's Grandpa."

The older four stared at him then toddled over to hug him. He said something in Russian. They babbled back at him in Latin. He laughed, sitting down to hug them. "It's good to finally meet you." They grinned, patting him. He looked at his wife. "How do we have grandchildren?"

"I'm not totally sure yet." She shifted to cross her legs. "Frank and Galahad will be back after helping our twin sons at the battle."

"Twins?" he said. He nodded. "Were they twins before?"

"Galahad said a troll hammer caused it."

"Interesting. We'll have to hear that story." He looked at the children. "Do you like stories?" They smiled and nodded. "We can tell many stories." Sarah moved so they could sit the children between them on the couch. They had many stories to share.

"Tell us about Mr. Frank?" one asked. "Big brother said to always trust him."

"Yes, we have many stories about Frank," Victoria said, smiling at them. She could rant and scream later when she got told the whole story. For now, she'd stay calm and handle things.

***

Xander and Gray came out of hosing off the demon goo and blood, pulling on clean t-shirts over their camp shorts. Frank and Galahad were both cleaned up already and waiting on them. They locked the camper, Gray walking over to a soldier staring at them. "The battle's done. We have family in town with our kids. We're going to gather them. Don't touch the campers, it's got a magical security system." The soldier nodded. "Go ahead and burn the field clean whenever you're ready."

"Thank you," he said. "Any more?"

"There shouldn't be. If so, call," Xander said, waving his phone. The soldier nodded, calling that in. "We'll be back later tonight." They walked off together.

Galahad was staring at his hands. "That was truly the most nasty thing I've ever seen," he said.

Frank nodded. "Ditto."

"We've had worse," Gray quipped.

"Last month," Xander agreed. "We had to scrub with sand. It was in the Sahara."

Galahad stared at them. "Eww!"

"Yup." The twins grinned at him. "Welcome to demon slaying. Then the slayers will nag."

Galahad stared at them then shook his head. "You two are barmy."

"Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do," Frank said dryly. "Even if it's nasty. As long as it doesn't color change me, give me gifts, or create infections, it came off."

"Some demon goo doesn't come off without a lot of chemical help," Gray agreed. "Because you have to break the goo down by chemical means then wash. We usually have some of that made up. We need to make some more, evil twin of mine."

Xander smirked. "I have a bottle but I could use more, yeah." Frank got them into the van and took off with them. "We have all the laundry stuff we need to make more of too." Gray nodded he did too.

"Need Merlin to find you supplies?" Galahad asked.

"Maybe. It's all special soaps and the like. We can find most of it in Sun City. We were heading that way soon. There's an ascension and we need to steal some artillery first."

"What's an ascension?" Frank asked.

"A human turning into a giant demon worm. We had one at our high school graduation," Xander said. Frank looked back at him. They nodded. Frank groaned, shaking his head. "Ninety feet."

"I don't need to know," Frank ordered.

"If you find one, take off the head," Gray said. "That's the only way to kill it."

Galahad tapped on his glasses. "Merlin, do we have stuff we can help them with for that upcoming ascension?" He listened, then nodded. "He's drinking pepto after seeing that battle and yes, he can find you some gear if you need it."

"We might. We have no idea if he'll be in the open or if we have time to rig a building to blow the head off again."

"I'm all for doing that the easy way," Xander agreed. "Maybe using some people on death row to bait it this time."

"We can figure that out," Frank decided. "Because you two are insane."

"It's the job," they said together.

"Clearly." The van pulled up in front of the hotel and Frank parked it then got out. "C'mon. Time to get the screaming out of the way."

"Can you have Merlin pull up those files?" Xander asked, handing over the tablet to Galahad.

"Merlin, can you?" he asked. They were downloaded onto his tablet as they went up the elevator. He smiled as they walked in, him handing it over. "Ma'am, sent by Merlin."

She settled in to glance over it, then glared at her spouse. He took it to look over. "Oh, dear," he said. He looked at the boys. "If we had known...."

"You probably would've had some troubles in Sunnydale," Xander said. He looked around. "Did they run away?"

"They're napping," Victoria said. "We could have extracted you."

Xander took the tablet to log into a site, letting her see the file on the old Mayor. "He had things blocked for his needs."

She read it, grimacing. "That's disgusting."

Gray looked then nodded. "We have one of those in Sun City in a few weeks. You have to cut off the head."

Frank took it, walking off to read it with Sarah. "I was right, that's gross." She nodded, turning a bit green.

Victoria looked at the boys. "Had you known?"

"We found out when I was twelve," Xander said.

"How are there two of you?"

"Troll hammer, for the second time. We decided not to try to get put back together again." They shrugged in unison. "It's nice having someone who understands you and goes with you when you're clubbing or trolling for arms dealers to date."

"Which is how we ended up picking up Frank and Martin one week," Gray finished. "It was nice that they didn't want to kidnap us but they were mad at the arms dealers we were sexing up. It was a desperate thing but they weren't that bad in bed and believed in our pleasure too."

Ivan stared at them. "Why would you court that sort?"

"Only the really deadly like them," Frank said. "Feel lucky your daughter-in-law isn't a former vengeance demon."

"Halfrek?" Victoria guessed.

"Anyanka," they said in unison and smiled.

"We loved the nympho, money grubbing ho, but her friends were right, we would've been miserable. She wasn't ready to settle down anyway," Gray said. "She proved it by losing her job again after getting it back because we left her at the altar."

Victoria sat down, staring at them. "Well, at least you're not squeamish."

"No but we still helped stop the Initiative."

"Good!" Frank said with a wave. "I would've too if I had heard." The twins grinned at him. One of the kids snuck out and he stared at him. "Hi. Which one are you?"

"Toby." Toby ran over to cuddle them. "You have a good nap?"

"Granma cool," he said with a beaming smile. "Granpa have stories."

"That's wonderful." Gray took him to cuddle. "It's great that you love them, Toby." He grinned and waved at the adults then snuggled in. Xander took him. "Okay, you can have big kid snuggles."

"Big kid snuggles are great. They don't puke down your back." Victoria smiled. "I have the three little ones while he gets the four big kids."

"There's charming things about both ages, boys. Sit, please." Galahad sat over by Frank. "Did we see any problems, Galahad or Frank?"

"I thought I saw Fury lurking," Frank said.

"Merlin said he spotted him watching," Galahad agreed. "He also spotted Franklin Moris."

Frank pulled up that dossier, looking it over. "Hmm. His new world order would probably love the kids as a next generation."

Gray snorted. "They'd kill him *so* damn fast. My kids know not to trust guys like that."

"They're good enough that one got me in the balls," Galahad told Victoria when she looked over.

"That's very talented at their age." She smiled, taking the baby from him. "Nap on me, Toby. I'm very comfortable." He snuggled in, cuddling her shoulder. "Such a good baby."

"When they want to be," Gray said. He sat down. Xander sat next to him.

"All babies have that," Ivan said. "Your older brother used to find ways to play with our knives from what I'm told."

Victoria smiled at him, nodding. "Yes. He did. Have you met Philip?"

"Yeah. We met a few years back," Gray said with a smile. "We had lunch then his cocksucking boss found out and sent him to Liberia and we had to go back on patrol."

"We had lunch before he went to New Mexico too. That was right after Sunnydale fell in."

She blinked at them. "You two obviously have an interesting history."

"Slightly." They grinned. "But now we're one of the few sane watchers there are. We're training the girls so they can stay home and guard their own peoples. The new Council was changed and we helped make sure of it."

"That's good, considering what they used to be like."

"First Evil blew them up," Xander said.

"We rebuilt it around our team and the slayers that made it through that battle," Gray added.

"I feel really sorry for them being in London," Frank said.

The twins smiled at him. "Cleveland," they corrected. "The London building got blown up."

"We're making due with about a hundredth of the people we used to have, and none of them want to kill us all the time. Unlike the old head."

Frank shook his head. "Don't tell me that. I'll find his grave so your mother can dig him up and set him on fire."

"I'm pretty sure he's already in hell for how he treated the girls," Xander quipped. "I'm hoping they're having a lot of fun with him."

Galahad touched his glasses frame. "Merlin said he finally remembered to remove the price on your heads that the old guy did."

"Thank him for us."

"He said you're welcome."

"What device are you using?" Ivan asked. Galahad paused then tapped his glasses when Merlin gave him permission. "Ah!" He nodded. "Frames that ugly had to be NIH." He shook his head. "Tell him he still owes me ten dollars from that poker bet."

"He said he'll send it later. Your son is in London at the moment. He was going to snatch him away from his team. Said something's weird about his team."

The twins nodded. "May's a robot because she made herself be and Ward's just wrong somehow," Xander said. "His little protege is weird in another way that sets off my slaying warning senses."

Galahad paused then nodded. "He said thanks, he'll make sure before an agent goes to steal him for a bit. He'd really like to recruit him too."

Victoria cleared her throat. "I would prefer my sons were out of such businesses."

The twins shrugged. "Someone's got to train the slayers," they said together.

She nodded. "I understand what a calling that is. I do wish you had happier jobs." She leaned over to touch Xander's cheek underneath his eyepatch. "Injured?" she asked quietly.

"Minion's fingernail popped it."

"Right before Sunnydale fell in after a battle," Gray said.

She looked at them then at her original son. "You went into a battle with that?"

"About three weeks afterward, yup." He nodded. "No other real choice. Going into the hellmouth was nasty but necessary if we wanted to save the rest of everyone."

"Before you ask, the ones who raised them died in that," Frank said. "I went looking when I found out. They refused to evacuate by the notes handed to FEMA."

"We did try to keep track," Xander said. "Just in case."

Victoria looked over. "How long have you known about them?"

"Two years before the town fell in," he admitted. "Philip knew about a year before it fell in."

"It was too dangerous," Ivan realized. The boys both nodded.

"Then we found they were trying again," Gray said. "We fixed that shit pretty damn quick then took the kids with us. Thankfully we had been flirting with Merlin at a bar the night before we found out."

"He just said he sent agents to clean up the mess you two made and made sure the papers stated that you're their parents," Galahad said. They grinned at him. "Not that I wouldn't have made a hell of a mess myself if they had my sister."

"Does your family know of your job?" Victoria asked. Galahad shook his head. "I tried to keep it from Philip as well but he learned rather well from us by sneaking around." She smiled at Ivan.

"Our son is every bit my son, he's sneaky," he agreed, smiling at her.

"We can let you guys have some thinking and snogging time," Gray said, standing up.

"Sit down, dear. I'm not Morticia. I don't need him to kiss up my arm." She smirked at them. "We want to get to know you and the children. How else am I supposed to be a spoiling grandmother?"

"I taught them to call us big brother," Gray said quietly.

She smiled. "That's fine. They're still my grandchildren." She stroked over Toby's head. "I never did think I'd have grandchildren to spoil while I teach them."

Galahad sat up abruptly. "Someone on that SHIELD team just tried to attack the agent Merlin sent to get your other son."

"Oh, fuck," Xander said. He looked at Gray. "Want it?"

"Go for it." He handed over something. "Have fun, dear. Want a sword?"

"Yeah." He found theirs in the diaper bag and stood up, calling someone. "It's Xander. My big brother needs me in London. He's on a SHIELD team cleaning up the mess. Yeah, that's him. Long story, Simone. Can you please? Thanks." He nodded at Gray. "Be right back." He disappeared and appeared in London, then stabbed someone in the back with the sword. "Why hi there. Why are you bothering my big brother?" He grinned. "Also, Watchers Council, bitches. Sit down and shut the fuck up." The one defending him backed away slowly.

"You have a sword and I have a gun."

Xander snapped and pointed. A demon popped up and lunged at her. Her shooting it just made it grow. "Really? How is that working out for you?"

"Enough!" Philip said, coming over. "Down, demon, please. She was protecting me." The demon pouted at him. "You can eat the bad ones." He pointed at them.

Xander looked then pointed. "He's one that helped create the kids." The demon made a happy noise and took that one to eat as it walked off. Xander grinned. "Hi, big brother."

"Xander. Are you all right and what kids?"

"Your mom just found out. This week." Philip winced. "We're all in Lesotho because we had a battle earlier. Come save a few people? Merlin was sending someone to save you."

"I met that agent and he's limping. I really can't....."

"Your boss is trying to get our kids."

"Excuse me? You have multiple children?" he said, putting his hands in his pockets while staring at him. "Leave my little brother alone. He'll have you eaten." He looked at Xander again. "With who did you give me nieces or nephews?"

"With the same people who made me." Phil's eyes narrowed. "She just announced she was going to be a great grandmother."

"I'm sure she would be, yes." He rubbed over his forehead. "I can't leave. We have to clean this up."

Xander shrugged. "Merlin had to tell her."

"Oh, dear. I...." He looked around. "It'll take days."

Xander's phone rang with a text message. "Gray said that the Asgardian bullshit pieces will still be here and the Council's clean up team has been doing the same thing. Which is probably who tried to have you attacked." He looked back at the agent behind him. "Hi, I'm Xander."

"Merlin told me and said to tell you both to go back down there. That there's been another problem spotted near your campers."

"We can do that. Thank you. Can you help them? It's picky work getting the weird stuff out of the way of humans."

"Sure. Merlin sent me because I'm actually a lab person." He smirked.

"Thank you for the help. May, let him help. I trust that organization. I need to go fix this problem. Apparently I have a few nieces or nephews I've never met."

"You have seven nieces and nephews. Three tiny that I raise and four bigger that Gray raises." He took his arm, then touched something. They disappeared. "Thanks, Simone," he called with a wave. They were by the campers. He looked at the guy standing there. "Watch me call a demon down to eat you."

"You're a watcher, you can't do that," the man sneered.

Xander shot him in the nuts. Body armor pants, pity. "Really? I could use favors to get more artillery for the upcoming ascension we have to handle in South Africa. Why shouldn't I sacrifice you?" The man was pushing his panic button. Xander strolled over, smiling down at him. "By the way, I'm Xander, not Gray. Gray's meaner. He's teaching the kids." He smiled. "Have a happy day," he said then kicked him to knock him out. Xander looked around, then went jogging over to the battlefield. "Someone was trying to break into our gear to take our kids hostage. Our kids are in town but still. Would you like them or should I use him as a poker stake?"

"I would rather put him to a merciful death," the head soldier said, following him back. "Do we know of him?"

"His people are running guns and training an underground militia," Phil said, pulling that up on his phone. "That's his people and he wanted my nieces and nephews."

The soldier nodded. "It's a good thing to stop such." He cuffed him then carted the guy off. "Have a good rest in town, Watcher."

"Thanks." He looked at Phil. "Town's about four miles."

"I can handle that walk." They walked off together but Frank got them after a few minutes. "Frank."

"Philip." They shook hands. They went back to the hotel. "Your mother's livid again."

"If I had told her, it would've blown her cover, Dad's cover, and mine."

"Not to mention drawing attention to us when things were bad," Xander said.

Philip nodded. "Indeed." They parked at the hotel and went up to the right room with Frank leading. He walked in first, getting a hug from his father. "Dad."

"Philip." He pushed him back to look at him. "You look well enough. Tired."

"I'm still finishing my healing."

"That's because he did weird things to bring you back," Galahad said. "Merlin went looking and swore up a stream like a footie hooligan."

Philip looked at him. "Which one are you? I recognized the glasses."

"Galahad. I took Harry's spot," he said quietly.

"Hmm. So you're the one that handled Valentine. Good work."

"Thanks. Necessary but thanks." They shook hands.

Philip looked at Gray. "I heard how that happened." Gray hopped up to hug him. "I have nieces and nephews and you didn't tell me."

"That was about six months before you got dead. We went to London to see if we could find anything in the old building. Then we found out about the kids."

Philip nodded. "You couldn't have gotten news to me in New Mexico without the higher ups hearing," he agreed. "I'm supposedly hiding."

"Fury's getting my gun up his nose," his mother said firmly. "I didn't even hear you had died."

"You're not on my paperwork to protect you and Dad."

"So?" she demanded.

Toby woke up, frowning at her then at him. "Not make grandma mad!" he shouted. "She get mad and girls cry! Making granma's cry is evil!"

"Toby," Gray said, patting his lap. "They're allowed to have this fight. Things have been going on that no one told Grandma about. She's okay with being mad this time. This is your Uncle Phil. Can you say hi?"

"Still not nice to make Granma sad!"

"I know it's not. She's yelling at me. I deserve it. I did naughty things," Phil said. He held out his hands. "Want a hug?"

"I should bite you," Toby said.

"You probably should," he agreed. "I'll be nicer if you don't."

Toby looked up at Gray and Xander then at him. "Fine. I'll bite you next time you're a bad boy."

"That'd be great," Phil agreed. "Hug?" Toby stood up and leapt at him, letting Phil catch him. "You hug very nice, Toby."

"Thank you. Are you a good boy?"

"Most of the time I am." He cuddled him. "Are you a good boy?" Toby smirked and shook his head. "That happens sometimes."

Toby nodded. "I get candy." He grinned at his grandfather.

"He gets a bit hyper, all the kids do," Gray warned.

"We noticed," Victoria said with a smile. "That's fine as well. So was Philip." She stared at her son. "We will discuss why you kept this from us."

"Did I want them to find you?" he asked. "Or the idiots in his former town that were NID and torturing demons."

"No," she said. "They were?"

"My former team took them down," Xander said. "Twice. Now they work for the UN."

Galahad shook his head quickly. "Merlin heard that. He's not amused."

"If I had heard that, I would've been unamused earlier," Phil said, looking at Toby. "How old are you?" He held up three fingers with a shy grin. "That's a great age." He sat down. "Where's the others?"

"Pretending to nap so they can cuddle the babies," Frank said with a point at the bedroom.

"They don't often get to spend time together. We're on divergent paths for hitting all the slayers," Gray said.

"Sit, Xander," Ivan said. He sat down. "You look good with a baby, son. Perhaps you will think on that?"

"Dad, everyone I knew and cared for thinks I'm dead," he said quietly. "With three exceptions. Director Fury hasn't told anyone. Including the Captain."

Galahad took off the glasses. "That's a bit too filthy even for me." He handed them to Phil. "He wanted to talk to you."

Phil took off his own glasses and put on the special ones. "Yes, Merlin? Speaking of, are you ever going to pay up on that owed dinner?" He listened to him rant. "No, he didn't. No one knew. He and Maria Hill set up my current team on the command plane. Yes with Agent May." He paused. "Really?" He looked at his brothers. "Why does Skye set off your weird feelings?" They shrugged. "Danger or otherwise?"

"Otherwise. Not a poker buddy thought though."

Phil nodded, listening to Merlin. "That's interesting. She's been looking for her origins actually, Merlin. That's how I found her, she hacked SHIELD. No, not them. Yup." He looked at Toby, who was staring at the glasses. Then back at Galahad. "I think he's in awe."

"I'm being a good boy because everyone in this room is more dangerous than I am," Galahad said dryly with a smirk. "I'm still a student at what they learned ages ago. There's plenty I can learn from you lot."

Victoria smiled. "Laid on a bit thick, dear. This isn't a honey pot mission after all."

"He's Xander's type," Frank said.

Xander nodded. "All of ours have been dangerous, deadly or otherwise a bit mean."

Gray nodded. "But fun and some of them have been very helpful. A few we even let babysit."

"Some got us some very handy things," Xander added. "Including what we used earlier. He's really fun and nice. We're kinda hoping to run into him around when we have the ascension in Sun City."

Phil stared at him. "Like your graduation?" The twins nodded. "Tell us who?" Xander pulled up the file on his phone, letting him see it. "Merlin, your language is leaving much to be desired since I'm holding one of the babies." He pulled out his phone, shifting the baby some. Toby pouted. "I just need to call someone, Toby. It's okay." He kissed him on the head, calling in. "Maria, Phil. I'm here with my little brothers and they're reporting there's a person attempting an ascension in four days. I'll send you the file in a few minutes. No, the twins were going to handle it but I've just found out I have nieces and nephews so I'm going with them. That's wonderful. I don't care though since helping them is more important at this moment." He hung up. "That'll set up a few things."

Xander leaned closer. "Your team," he said quietly, staring at him. "One's near there."

Phil winced. "They'll kill me."

Xander nodded with a grin. "Quite possibly."

"Yup," Gray said. "We were gonna do the same thing."

Phil smiled. "It's nice to be loved, boys." He looked down at the feeling of something bumping his ankle. "Hi, which one are you?"

Xander leaned over to look. "Hi, Mandy. Need a diaper?" He got up to check her and change her in the bathroom then the others. "Guys, Uncle Phil's here." They ran out to meet this person they had only heard of.

"Wow, a granma, a granpa, and an unclie," one of the girls said in awe. "So many people."

Xander tapped her on the head, making her look up. "That's Mr. Frank. You always trust Mr. Frank, remember?" She nodded and waved at him, getting a wave back. So did the others. "That's so good of you guys to all wave. We'll figure out how to let you meet the other two soon."

"Clint's going to kill me if Natasha doesn't," Phil said.

"I remember your team," Victoria said. "We can perhaps help with that." She looked at Ivan, who smiled and nodded. He picked up two of the babies to hold while the other kids spread themselves around all the new spoiling people.

***

Two days later, Phil Coulson walked into a pub in London. He paused at a table. "Later, Melinda. Not now," he said quietly. "We have to have an intelligence meeting." He went to a back table and sat down, staring at the same young guy and the guy next to him. "Thank you for the meeting, Merlin. It's not often we get together this way but it's good to be safely here away from mad parents."

"Order dinner since I owe you," he said with a smile. "How is your mother?"

"Only mad at a few very select people." He leaned on the table. "What's the legal status of my nieces and nephews?" he asked quietly.

"All theirs. I made sure. Then the old Arthur got horrified when he had someone profile your brother." Merlin smiled. "He was not amused and had to drink pepto for a few days."

"Good. I did the same thing when I met my little brother." He sighed. "I still love the guys though. The kids too. My dad is so happy there's grandkids. He's going to teach them a lot of stuff."

"I send them books now and then," Merlin said. "They made me a godfather."

Phil smiled. "I'm glad you were there with them." He looked at the young pup. "Go pump Melinda for information. She was one of my trainees."

"Sure." He went to charm her. "This seat taken?" he asked with a charming smile.

"Yes," she said flatly.

He sat down anyway. "My boss and your boss just told me to bugger off and come tease you until you actually smile."

She stared at him. Then looked back at Coulson, who flapped a hand without looking back at her. She looked at him again. "I see."

"I'm a new agent," he said quietly.

"We know nothing about your group."

"We know jack all about SHIELD," he said dryly but grinned again. "Seems a bit nutters to me. I guess you run into others in the field, make friends, all that?"

She nodded. "Sometimes, though we're not encouraged. Even though those two are friends." She shifted to face him better. "How do those two know each other?"

"Your boss's mom is a Brit."

"Oh. Interesting. So they met through work?"

"No clue. No one told me." He shrugged. "I was amazed when I met his mum. She's super posh."

"That must explain the suits," she said dryly. "He wears better suits than most everyone." She looked at the young guy's jeans and track jacket with a sideways tipped hat. "Can you wear that at work?"

"Not totally but I'm off." He smirked.

"All the time or just tonight?" she chided back.

He laughed. "Depends on who you ask, donnit?"

"True, most of us are a bit...different." She looked over. "I did not call for backup."

He leaned closer. "His little brother said someone was wrong on your team," he said quietly. "Named some bloke."

She considered it then nodded once. "How would he know?"

"He's a watcher. Plays kitten poker and the like."

She shook her head quickly. "Disgusting." She looked up since her teammate was close enough to overhear them. "Ward."

"May." He smiled. "Can I join you?"

"Sure, mate, I don't care." He shifted over on the bench. "So, pretty one, whatchya do for fun?"

"I train."

He nodded. "I've done a bit of that recently myself. Got yelled at for parkour training again too." He shook his head but smiled at her. "Ever try it?"

"Some but it looks not as useful as regular running. I usually go around things."

"Leads to some great off-the-wall moves."

"I've seen those. Can you?" He nodded. "Huh. I might have to see later." He grinned. She looked at Ward. "Why did you show up?"

"Half the team's here. I was worried there's a problem."

"Yes but it's not ours," she said. "He called me to meet him later but I got here early. I could use dinner."

Galahad shook his head. "Not here. Better chip shop around the way," he said with a point. "Here's good for beer, for fun, for training. Lots of bar brawls some nights."

Melinda smiled. "Do you consider that training?"

He grinned. "Anything can be training if you wanna call it that."

"True." She looked back then at him. "Your head?"

He grinned. "Can't comment. Ask your bloke. He seems decent. Fussed greatly over his brov."

"He has a brother?" she asked, looking confused. The young guy smirked at her for that little lie to draw Ward.

"Yeah," Ward said with a nod. "He's a watcher."

"How did you know that?" she demanded.

"It's in his files."

Melinda shook her head. "No it's not. It lists his mother with a clearly made up name as I'm finding out and no siblings."

"It's in there now. Maybe Fury updated it."

"Hmm."

Some rowdy assholes came in shoving each other. Galahad shook his head with a sigh. "Want some beers?" he asked her.

"I don't tend to drink that often."

"Sometimes you gotta. Those chav'll get on your nerves soon."

"I can break them," she said.

He smiled. "I'd love ta see ya work. Compare your methods to the ones of my friend, who's the same sorta girl but younger."

Melinda smiled. "You do have female agents?"

"Yeah. She's in here." Melinda looked around then shook her head slowly. He grinned. "Not all of us are like me."

"I still can't spot another agent. Interesting. I'll have to ask how they train. See if it can upgrade my own. Or Skye's."

Ward nodded. "Let me know." She nodded. Galahad got out of the booth and went to get them stuff to drink, coming back with them. "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome." He sat down with another smile. "Your boss found out he's an uncle too."

"That's nice I suppose. Interesting. Are they cute?"

"They're spoiled little bits who liked to suck up to him like he was Santa." She smiled. "Stories mostly but candy, yeah."

"Awww." One of the rowdy ones shoved Ward by accident so he got up to 'talk' to them.

He leaned over. "If you ever need ta find me, ducks, I'm Eggsy," he said quietly. She nodded at that. "Or Galahad on the job." He smiled. "Don't ever doubt I can help as long as you're not after me."

"I can remember that. Thank you."

"Welcome." He winked and got up, helping her up. "They'll break the table soon." He led her over to another table. "Pretty lady slumming?" he teased with an evil smirk.

"Not hardly. Merlin was worried someone might try something." She smiled. "You must be Melinda May. Merlin told us about Agent Coulson's team," she said, holding out a hand. "Lancelot."

"I am." She shook it and they sat down to watch the fight. She had a good view of all the exits and the table the two senior agents were sitting at. "Coulson's brother is who?"

"Harris," Lancelot said. "Both of them."

"Senior watchers in Africa. We saw a battle."

"Merlin was not amused and Arthur asked if he was pregnant with the way he was throwing up," Lancelot said.

"Some of the Council's fights are that nasty," Melinda said.

"There's an ascension in a few days but they turned it over to your group instead," Eggsy said. "Have to take the head off the really large demon."

"I looked up the footage of the one at their graduation," Lancelot said. "Something like eighty feet of demon. They had to blow up the school to kill it."

"They're immortal for the last hundred days from what I remember about that incident," Melinda said. She took a drink of her ale. "That's not bad." The fight got worse and she sighed. "I should go help him." No, Phil and Merlin got up and Phil disabled two of the boys then said something to them. They ran off. He shot Ward a dirty look then they went to order dinner at the bar and go back to their talk. So it'd be okay.

***

Ivan found his target in New York the same day as the meeting in London. He walked up behind the young redheaded woman. "We must speak, I have information for you, Natalia," he said in Russian from right behind her ear. "Meet me in the walking park in thirty minutes, by the statue." He walked off.

She paused to look in a window, frowning at who she saw. She recognized him. That was a bad sign. She slowly made her way to the same park with a book and a cup of tea to cover her sitting around. She nodded at him, sitting on the bench next to him. "Pretty day and my favorite view of that statue."

He nodded. "It is a good statue. No graffiti either. I'm impressed."

"They had people cleaning up such things recently." She looked at him. "This is dangerous for you."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Not hardly. I am over the embassy here now, my dear. Though I have heard information that is not from home that you need to hear. You will want that tea."

"A new emergency?"

"A slight one that you probably won't be handling in a few days in South Africa but not exactly the point." He patted her knee. "When I was about your age, I had a love of my life."

"There were many rumors," she agreed. This was an odd start and for a Russian to start off with a past lover, to one he wasn't related to, was a bad sign of something huge. As this one had been very high in the secret agencies that used to rule Russia, high enough to have known about her training and have helped stop it, it was obviously horrible news.

"Yes, she was my dark angel. Every bit my equal and better. To this day she still loves me and hates that she nearly killed me because they made her choose between her son and her lover."

She frowned. "She had a child?" That was gossip that hadn't even been hinted at.

"Yes, our Philip. She used her mother's maiden name for his last one but it protected him greatly." She stiffened because only one Philip could be related to them both. "Who we have recently been reunited with." He handed her the cup of tea. She took a sip. "Apparently there was some things that only the Council could understand, though they did not help, that made sure my beloved's heart is safe."

"He's alive," she said quietly. He nodded. "Why did we not know?"

"If one of us finds him, we will be punching his other eye out." He stared at her. "My boy is in London today with his new team. Though our younger sons we have just learned of, they are Council, said that a few of them are odd for some reason. He does not worry about her, but the male member of the team he worries about why he's possibly bad."

She finished the tea. "We know of this team?"

"Yes, one of your other trainees is on it. She helped set it up."

She considered it. "Is she Asian?"

"Yes." He smiled and patted her knee again. "We look forward to seeing our son in one piece, Natalia. Do not disappoint my beloved or me?"

"I may hit him but I will not harm him in a permanent manner." She took a calming breath.

He smiled. "My beloved is telling your partner. She thought it would amuse him to meet her."

"It would if who I heard she was is right. Thank you."

"You are most welcome. Let me know if you have problems. I can't do much but now and then I may hear something." He stood up. "Have a better afternoon and smile more. You look much lighter when you smile." He walked off, going back to his embassy.

She calmed herself then sent a text message to her partner.

***

Uptown, the noble looking platinum gray woman sat down across from the guy at the pizza shop. "Clinton."

He stared, mouth slightly open. "You're Victoria Winslow," he said. She smiled, tipping her head slightly. "Oh, god, there's an order on me again?"

"Well, yes, but I'm not here about that group within SHIELD wanting you out of the way." She smiled, patting his hand. "Put it down, dear. I have some news to share and it's up to you if you hear it here or have the fit in the alley."

"Alley," he said, getting a box for his remaining pizza then they went out to walk and talk. "What sort of information and who has the price on me this time? It has to be bad if the Goddess of Snipers comes to find me."

"They're within SHIELD but otherwise I can't pinpoint who. If I hear I'll gladly tell you. There's not much young talent these days."

"Too true."

"I had hoped my son would've followed my lead into being a sniper, and he does do a great job, but no, he chose to be an agent like his father."

"There's all sorts of rumors about your lover."

She smiled, taking his arm. "Yes, there are. Some are even correct. He's talking with your partner. Our Philip is such a sweet boy and we wanted to meet his team before now but he was protecting us."

He stopped. "Philip? Coulson?" he demanded in a hiss. She nodded with a smile. "But... Um, Fury didn't...."

She waved a hand. "Your superior did things that our newly found sons, who are Council, pinpointed as dealing with aliens on him."

He stiffened. "That mother fucker," he muttered.

"Indeed." She smiled. "If I find him first, he'll be missing that other eye of his." She smiled at him. "He's in London today with his new team. He worked hard to hide Philip from everyone, dear."

He nodded, walking into an alley to kick the walls. She followed. "Was he dead?" he asked quietly.

"From what I understand, yes. Though we were not told as no one there knows we're his family." She laid a hand on his arm. "I didn't know until the other day, or that I had another set of twin sons and grandchildren."

"Phil?"

"No, Xander and Gray. They adopted." She smiled. "They're adorable. Sucked up to Phil for the last few days to get stories and cuddles. They're *charming* little children. They made sure I couldn't paddle Phil for worrying us."

"I think I'm going to have a breakdown."

"That's fine, dear. That's why I suggested the alley." She patted him on the arm again, making him look at her. "He's fine. Still healing a bit. Something about missing some muscle memory in his arm. Though I do have to warn you about a few things we learned. One of his team, the male, is not exactly what he says he is as far as we can tell. We're not sure why." He nodded. "Not the nice little scientist, but the agent. His former trainee put the team together but my little cherub picked up a hacker that our son says is a bit different but not worrying."

"Your other son's...."

"Council."

He nodded. "Okay, I don't mind agents that're half demons or whatever. That's cool. I'm going to beat the living fuck out of your son for not telling me though."

She smiled at him. "As long as he can heal. Otherwise I'll talk the twins into making you babysit all seven children. Or possibly some of the mini slayers."

"That's a fate worse than torture," he agreed, smiling some. "Um... London you said?" She nodded. "Because of the Asgard thing?"

"Started out that way. Now they're having a meeting. Poor Merlin had been hiding not only my grandchildren but my twin sons to protect us all. I promised I'd only spank him for it someday since he's been so helpful. They're chatting right now. Apparently he and Phil have known each other for years and have some sort of intelligence coven as my younger two put it."

He nodded. "I've heard rumors about a tech wizard named Merlin." He rubbed his forehead. "I can wait until he gets back."

"That's fine, dear. I'm going for Russian tea. You have a better day?"

"I will, ma'am. Thank you and if you see your son first, swat him for me? It'll make him more tender for when I kick his butt."

"I can do that. He didn't tell me about the other sons the UK government made either. I learned about all this on the same afternoon."

Clint shuddered. "I'm sorry."

"It's sweet, dear." She patted him on the cheek. "Finish your daily allotment of grease. Talk to your partner." She strolled off.

Clint pulled out his phone, finding a text message. He sent back a simple 'I heard from Victoria Winslow'. She agreed and they could probe towards London. She also knew who was on his team. He pointed out he had never liked Ward. Way too flashy. Melinda could be a toasty little ball of tar. If they had a way to get to London right now... She proposed a plan. He agreed, heading for the SHIELD base. They could 'borrow' a jet. They could both fly one. Then he brought up the bad point. How were they going to tell the others?

***

Lancelot looked around, frowning. "We have an intruder," she said quietly, turning away from where she had spotted movement. "Galahad?" she called. "Jog with me?" She didn't have any sort of comm device on her, he had on his official glasses.

"Sure." He came over then looked. "I wouldn't worry about them. We're not him or Merlin." They took off running with their dogs. He heard a snort about the dogs and shrugged at the hidden agents. He did call it in. If they were that good, they could figure it out and be a good lesson for the trainees. They heard that it wasn't who they thought it was and to go find them. Merlin was in a bad mood this morning. Turned out to be Ward and Skye. Ward was tricky but everyone underestimated a pug until one bit you on the balls. Lancelot took down Skye from behind when she turned to help Ward. They marched them inside and to a room for Merlin to deal with. They never realized that the two they were really wary of were not only in the building but waiting as well.

Merlin stomped in. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"We came to help our boss. As far as we know this isn't anything but a group out to capture him," Skye said.

Merlin stared at her. "Lass, he's got your nose turned up and around. Think for yourself," he ordered, making her huff. "Frankly, you're bait." He left them in there. He winced at the sound of a female voice over his comm unit.

"Yes, we will gladly figure out why no one likes Agent Ward," the female voice said. "Right after we beat someone to death for not being dead. Do have some tea, Merlin wasn't it?"

"Agent Romanoff, how pleasant to hear from you," he said dryly. "Do not mess up our tidy little building please."

"I'd never do that and Clint's not destructive today."

"Fine. I don't need ta know."

"Good. That's very sensible, then we'll hold an intelligence chat, shall we?" She hung up.

He groaned, sending out a message that they had other intelligence agents trying to get in, two in custody, and they were all here about one they were liaisoning with. The other agents could try to capture the two good agents. It'd be good training for them. Thankfully, Phil had found his bulletproof vest already. Didn't help him when he was dragged off suddenly by his ear.

Phil looked at his two agents. "I wasn't allowed."

"I'm going to beat the living fuck out of you," Clint said. "Then Fury if your mom doesn't. By the way, she's scary."

Philip Coulson smiled but nodded. "Yes, she can be. So can Dad. Though, my brothers are more weird and dangerous."

"We didn't hear about any of this," Natasha said, moving closer.

He stared at her. "It protected them. Mom didn't know that someone had made my brothers."

She shuddered. "I can see how she'd be quite peeved. As I am."

He stared at her. "I tried to tell you. Fury stopped it."

"I'll deal with him later," she said. "For now, we will talk." He groaned. "Then we have been invited to an intelligence chat."

"These are very good agents."

"The one out there took out Ward with his pug," Clint said with a grin. "Had him bite him on the nuts."

"Merlin said he thought it'd grow." He looked at them. "Do the others know?"

"I'm not telling Steve or Bruce a blessed thing," Clint said dryly. "I don't want my head taken off. So when you get back, you can tell them, sir."

"My next mission isn't in New York."

"Bet me that'll stop this," she said.

"Possibly."

"Especially since Ward's dirty and is part of the group that has a contract out on Clint's life," she said, handing over that set of notes. "And this is on Skye so she can quit looking." She handed that over as well.

He looked. "Huh. I need to separate them."

"They're up the hall."

Someone knocked then leaned in. Lancelot smiled. "Can we help?" Her eyes went wide when she realized who she had just spoken to. They had been given their known dossiers by Merlin during training as an incentive to be more like them.

"Please," Natasha said. "We need to separate the two members of his team. Or at least Ward from all the others."

"That's fine. We can do that." She called that in and led them to talk to them. "Skye, we're putting you in a nicer room." She looked up with a glare. "Your boss wanted to talk to you in private. Do you really want him to chew you a new one in front of others?" She shook her head, letting herself be led off.

"Ward could use an ice pack."

"He'll need more than that." She put her into a separate room where Phil was waiting.

He put the notes in front of her. "You should not have violated their property," he said quietly. "It was not only rude, but improper conduct. You knew I wasn't in any trouble."

"Ward said...."

"I'll be yelling at him next. You knew better." She nodded, looking down at the notes. Then gaped and looked at him. He pointed behind himself. She looked, mouth flopping open at Clint. Who grinned and wiggled his fingers at her. "He'll be getting the same speech in a few moments."

"Thank you," she told him. "I...."

"We heard," he said. "We don't have anything against you yet, Skye. Don't make us an enemy." He looked at Phil. "Can we go talk to Ward now? Natasha's having fun with him."

"She's good at interrogation. She can teach it very well." He looked at Skye. "You're to sit in here and not move without permission." She nodded, settling in to reread those notes. "Good." He left her in there, going to the room up the hall. A few agents were watching her work on the simple agent. Ward was not falling for it yet but she had wiggled her way under his defenses and he slipped up a few minutes later. She let it go but came back to that to unravel the thread.

Clint pulled out a meal bar to nibble on while he watched her. One of the agents looked at him. He grinned. "She's my partner and he's our handler. We thought he was dead for almost a year." They winced.

Phil sighed. "We'll talk later, Hawkeye."

"Yes, sir," he chirped. He walked in there and handed Natasha something. He hissed in her ear then smirked at Ward. "A pug took you down? Really? You were a level seven agent and a pug got you?" He left with a small chuckle.

She nibbled that meal bar, working on him until he truly slipped up then someone outside there hit a wall. She looked then at him. "I believe you have upset Coulson. That's never a good idea. Especially with who his parents are." She walked out. Coulson was holding Clint against a wall. "Clint, calm down."

"I can not and will not be in the same group as HYDRA," he growled.

"We're Avengers, Clint. Not fully SHIELD." She quirked an eyebrow up.

"Good point." He calmed himself. "Sir?" he asked.

"Ditto on not being anywhere near HYDRA. We'll have to tell the director. I know he's not."

Merlin cleared his throat. "That takes an outside finding, doesn't it?" he asked dryly.

"That would be an excellent thing. I need to warn Xander."

"Already have," Merlin assured him. "HYDRA hated the Council and your brothers are the worst yet at drawing trouble. Last night they drew an asshole who believes genocide is nice, fun, and sweetly romantic to woo them with. Sascha stole his gun and shot him with it. Fortunately not fatally so we can question him. Shall we, boys and girls? The rest of you agents, talk to Agent Romanoff about how she broke him so easily. She's tops in that field. If we had known she had defected, we would've brought her in and babied her back to our side." She smirked at him. "You would've done us proud."

"Thank you, Merlin."

"Welcome. Hawkeye, we have a range. Can you go break the trainees' egos?"

"Always," he said smugly. "It's fun."

"Yes it is. I always like it when I make them drop out of a plane thinking they're all going to die." A few watching agents shuddered. "You have places to be," Merlin said firmly. They went where they needed to be, Lancelot taking Clint to the range. Natasha got a classroom. She was the most experienced teacher they could ever hear from. Merlin looked at Phil. "Arthur's beaned out right now."

"I'm creeped out," he admitted. "But happy that they broke in here to find me."

"That is sweet." He led him back up to the office so they could go back to their chatting. They had new information to share.

***

Xander walked up to someone in New York the next day, hauling on his arm. "Come with me please. It's really highly important and nearly got some SHIELD agents dead."

"Who're you?" he demanded. He got his arm free. "Don't grab me."

Xander grinned. "New Council. A relative to a friend of yours as well." He led him off to an alley. "All right, Stark. We've got to talk about Coulson."

"He's dead," he ground out.

"Yeah, until Fury got some alien bullshit. As proven by my big brother cooing over his nieces and nephews when he got to meet them for the first time." Stark gaped. Xander held up his phone with a picture on it. "About a week ago."

Stark took it to look, leaning against the wall. "How?"

"Alien bullshit. It caused a few problems but we're working on it." He took the phone back. "He's safe. For now."

"For now?" he demanded, staring at the young guy. "Who're you really?"

"Xander Harris. Founding member of the New Council. I'm also one of the two of us training girls in Africa. I'm going to kill Fury because I can find him sooner than anyone." He grinned. "My twin has him tied up in a closet. You guys can have him later."

"Thanks. Why is he in danger?"

"Oh, you didn't get a memo from your teammates, who tracked him to London. Um, one of his team was HYDRA."

"Excuse me?" Stark demanded loudly. "Here?"

"Yeah."

"Hold on, one of my teammates was?"

"No. One of my big brother's teammates was."

"He has a new team?"

"Fury's idea of hiding him. He was in London handling the cleanup."

Stark's eye twitched a few times then he calmed himself. "Is Coulson all right?"

"For now. They had a price on his head. They had a price on his team's heads, and on Clint's head. The pretty, dangerous, sexy one broke Ward and he slipped up. That's how we know it was HYDRA."

Stark nodded once. "Are they here?"

"Do you think there's only one of them in SHIELD?"

"No." He sighed. "How bad?"

"I don't know but big brother's over there talking to some friendly intelligence people we both trust about that."

Stark nodded. "I'll protect the team. Clint and Natasha are there?"

"The archer guy and the sexy, dangerous one I'd love to flirt with?" Stark nodded. "Yeah. They were there. They're still taunting Ward about being taken out by a pug." He grinned. "They apparently give their agents companion dogs for post-mission therapy."

"That's not a horrible idea," he said. "Hold on. England. MI-5?"

"Specialist group."

"Kingsman?" Xander stared at him. "My father did some contracting work for them after the war." He sighed. "All right. When can I tie up your big brother so Steve can scowl at him?"

"Ask the ones with him. I just paused on my way to Cleveland to report in about the bullshit we've had in Africa. My twin has all the kids." He shrugged. "So, this is probably apocalypse level within the intelligence community. I doubt they only have a single team in any agency."

"Probably true. I can look."

"Thanks." He smiled. "Also, if you run into his real parents, don't say anything please? It's to protect them."

"I can do that, kid. Thank you."

"Welcome. Have a happier day nagging people." He left, going to drive to the airport.

Stark went back to get a cup of coffee then back to the tower. He could go to the bookstore later. "JARVIS, call a team meeting in my office," he said as he got onto the elevator. "Make sure there's a forcefield so no one can break a window. Or a wall." He sipped his coffee on the way up, getting to the office last. Pepper, Steve, Bruce, and Thor's girlfriend was there. "Jane, not to worry you." She nodded. "Thor here?"

"Flying. I was going to sit in for him."

"Just send him when he gets back. It's not an immediate emergency but it's pretty bad news." She nodded, leaving them alone. "Bruce, the door." He closed it and locked it. "I just got waylaid by a member of the New Council, who is Coulson's little brother." He sipped his coffee. Steve sucked in a breath. "There's two bits of news and I can't be gentle, people. We all know I have no tact. First, Agent's alive. Fury did alien bullshit according to his brother." He took another sip, staring at Steve, who was sucking in breaths through his nose. "Apparently there was a shadow team he got put on but he was spotted in London cleaning up the mess from Thor's people's fight. Fury probably forbid him from telling any of us." He finished the coffee and tossed it out. "His brother said he's fine. He's working on something with another intelligence group over there at the moment. That's where our other two are. They went to beat him or something."

"I need to do the same thing," Pepper said. "Fury wouldn't let him tell us?"

"No. The kid said that. Also, he said that someone on Coulson's shadow team was HYDRA. Natasha broke him." Steve stood up, knocking his chair over, looking enraged. "I'm guessing that's what they're working on together because, as the kid pointed out, they wouldn't just have one team in any agency." Steve turned and hit the wall. Stark was proud of his construction team because the wall only dented instead of breaking. "I'm doubting Fury knows that part of this."

"I need some air," Bruce said, walking off. "Let me know anything else later. I'll be in botany."

"Tony?" Pepper asked quietly.

He looked at her. "We need to make sure of our people. Immediately." She nodded. "We can't trust anyone, anyone could be HYDRA. Very few people are immune to HYDRA. Which is mostly the team. Or Rhodey." She nodded, going to start that. He moved to look at Steve, making him turn around. "His parents didn't know he was alive," he said quietly. "He kept his parents out of SHIELD's notice to protect them and they didn't know. I'm guessing until he was spotted in London."

Steve swallowed, nodding. "But he's alive? It's him?"

"From what the kid said. Natasha and Clint are over there."

"I'll call them. Then what?"

"That depends on how bad the infection is by that other group and his team."

"We might be able to integrate them as normal agents helping us." He ran a hand through his hair. "This is bad."

"This is real bad but he has nieces and nephews. He just met them a week ago. His brother had a picture of him being mobbed by them."

Steve smiled some. "That's good," he said quietly. "I need the gym."

"All right, but be aware they probably still want you."

"Definitely. Thanks, Stark. Let me know if you find anything else out." Stark nodded so he stomped off to go beat something up.

Stark went to help Pepper for now. He had to make sure his company was without holes hiding HYDRA mice.

***

Xander walked into the slayer house, smiling at Gray and the kids playing with the minis. "Giles drinking yet?"

"Yup," Gray said. "He didn't know we had kids."

"I sent in that report."

"Someone ate it on him."

"Okay. Anyone else need to know?" Xander asked.

"Faith saw, then ran off shuddering at the cuteness. You know it horrifies her."

"That's mean, Gray," Willow said as she walked up the hallway. She stared. "You have kids."

"We reported that last year," Gray quipped. "I raise the older ones, he raises the babies."

"But you travel," she said slowly.

"In a camper," Xander said with a smile. "Holds kids, us, and weapons."

She groaned, walking off. "No wonder Giles is horrified."

"We've still got to give him the yearly update report," Xander called after her. "Then go torture someone for information."

"Torture is always wrong. I taught you better," she called back.

Xander leaned back to look up at her. "If we don't find out, then the US is going to fall," he said simply. "And they're bad guys at least."

"Demons?"

"Nope."

"Shit," she muttered, going to tell Giles. She and Giles came back together, her closing the door after them. "Give. How do you have kids?"

The twins smiled at her. "We weren't made normally. The same people made them but they had old Council like plans so they're ours."

"Excuse me?" Giles demanded. "Are they formally yours?"

"Yeah, all adopted and all that." Gray pulled up the files for him. "We sent you this info, Giles."

"I apparently didn't read it very well." He went over the file with Willow reading over his shoulder. "How did we rescue them?"

"Being ourselves," Xander said with a smirk. "We had a friend covering it up for us but we have formal adoption papers and that friend made sure the ones who did it went down hard."

Giles handed the phone back with a nod. "So I have honorary uncle status of your children." He looked at them. "How many are there? I think a few of those are baby slayers."

"They are. We have seven," Xander quipped with a grin. "I have the three babies and Gray does the bigger kids."

"Wonderful," he said, smiling at them. He patted the nearest one. "Hi, dear."

"That's a baby slayer," Willow said. "The babies creep him out, guys. So I'm an auntie?"

"As long as you turn into a good auntie," Gray said, giving her a pointed look. She rolled her eyes but nodded. He looked at Giles. "We've since found a few things, including telling our mom we actually existed. No one told her." Giles winced. "By the way, you used to flirt with my mom when you were at the museum." Giles stiffened, staring at them. They smiled.

"You look like Victoria, somewhat," he admitted.

"We do look more like dad," Xander agreed.

"Oh, dear. She knows?"

"Yeah, after the battle in Lesotho. She met us there. She even watched the kids for the few hours."

"That's kind of her." He took off his glasses to rub his eyes then looked at the boys. "That's certainly weird news but not bad news."

"Because of that meeting, we ran into someone who was HYDRA," Xander said.

"They were a group in World War II," Willow said.

"And they're still around today, infecting intelligence people," Gray said.

"Including one near our big brother, who you had a fun trip to Cancun with, Giles. So do you want to be a brother-in-law?" Xander quipped, smirking at him.

"He's.... oh. Well then." He cleared his throat. "Not particularly. Our goals weren't in line with each other." He blushed some. Xander handed over a baby. "Hello, which one are you?"

"Sybil."

"That's a good name." He cuddled the baby, who was patting his cheek and smiling at him. He looked at the boys. "If I remember right, HYDRA had a problem with the Council." Both boys nodded. "Do they still?" They nodded again. "Do they know you know?"

"No. The only one who knows is our big brother."

"That's fine." He considered it. "We can take some precautions and find out if any have infiltrated."

"We need to do that anyway since the guy summoning the demons in Lesotho told us he was paid to do it by someone up here," Gray said. Giles blinked at him. He nodded. "Not one that refused to leave London, they're in Cleveland. It was to raise power for a later problem according to him."

"We guessed he didn't think that anyone would care but some of us do care," Xander finished.

"Oh, dear. Did he name them?" Xander shook his head. "Damn." He looked at the baby then at Willow. "Can you truth spell them?"

"She needs to do a map anyway. We've heard rumors of a shapeshifter here."

"The 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' sort," Gray added with a grin for her.

"It might help with some other problems too," she agreed. "I can figure that out tonight." They smiled. She went to do that.

"Am I going to have a lot of dumbed down reports again?" Giles asked, patting the baby on the back. She belched, making him look down. "Well, that was ferocious of you, Sybil." She grinned and waved. "Thank you."

"I fed them before we came in," Gray said. "Xander was late because he had to tell someone some of this info about our brother."

"That's fine, boys. How many reports am I getting?"

"You'll be getting some dumbed down ones because we don't want to hear the bitching," Xander said with a point toward the library. "Especially not from the huffy 'you're not a girl' sorts."

Giles grimaced. "I can keep them from her." Gray handed over the printed file. Giles read. "I should be rather mad that you've been flirting with those sort."

"Oh, it gets worse. One of the others flirting with us we didn't want but he was handy to use for things. We got him out of everything and made someone handle him for us once we had used him."

"We learned well from the girls," Gray said.

"Hmm. It appears so." He went to the next report, staring at them oddly. "Is that really what happened?"

Xander leaned over to look then nodded. "Yup, took him out with cotton candy. Then he gave us a few treats, took the person who had been summoning him, and left us a hell of a mess to clean up."

Giles sighed, going back through them. He swatted Xander hard once but otherwise they just got a lot of sighs. He looked up. "Is this the dumbed down version?" They nodded with identical smiles. "Then I may not want to know." Xander handed over one page of paper that had a report on it. Giles read it then stuck it into the folder. "No, I do not want to know. Though I hope the children don't see that?" They shook their heads. "Good!"

Buffy walked in. "I heard we have new kids. New baby slayers?"

"Ours," Xander told her. "We adopted."

She looked at him. "Why would you do that?"

"Lots of important reasons that're slightly classified," Gray said. She snorted. "Seriously. The UK said so, Buffy."

"Oh." She looked at Giles. "Where's Willow?"

"Library. She's figuring out how to tell if we have a shapeshifter here, like the rumors say there is," Xander said.

"Oh, okay." She walked off. Both boys pointed at her back.

Giles nodded. "She's been mellow for a few days. Any other news to share?"

"Why do we suddenly own a house in the Carribean?" Gray asked.

"I don't know. You do?" Giles asked.

"We were told it was former Watcher property," Xander said. He shrugged. "We just heard about it when they asked us to pay the property taxes."

"We told them we had no idea about any of that, we hadn't heard we had inherited it and we hadn't bought one. We paid it but no idea how it came to be. We've only got pictures."

"I can ask the others when we call that board meeting together." They nodded. "Do they have babysitters?"

"No," Xander said. "Not often."

"That's fine. We can arrange it for the board meeting I'm sure." He stood up. "Let me go put this in. You two settle in the guest house?" They shook their head. "You can."

"No water and the ceiling's cracked," Xander said. "Not habitable."

"I hadn't realized. Motel?" They shook their heads. "I think they gave your room away."

"Don't worry about it. We usually live in two campers," Xander said.

"I already told Andrew and he's got us a room." Giles nodded, going to talk to Andrew then call the board together tomorrow afternoon.

"C'mon, guys. We'll all go play out back." They took all the kids, including Xander going up to get the rest of the little mini slayers, to the backyard to play. They needed more playing time.

Gray smiled. "Let's stretch before you play. Do this." He moved and the kids followed along if they could. They kept going and after a few warm up stretches, he pulled something out of his pocket and blew it up. The ball got a squeal and the kids ran after it. The babies all cuddled up to them. It was good for cuddles.

Andrew came out. "I tried to get them regular balls. Buffy complained."

"That's because she's dumb," Xander said with a shrug. "Kids need playing time." He grinned. "They need to run, jump, play, and that can also include some sneaky training at their ages. We do it with our girls down there and with our own kids."

"That's good." He went to get a bigger ball for them to play with. They loved that and the squeals got louder.

"They're loud!" Buffy complained.

"Blow it out your ass, they're supposed to be loud. They're kids," Gray said, looking back at her. "Your mother would hate that you've been torturing the kids by being a bitch." She huffed off. He waved at her back. "Maybe they need a house just for the really minis," he told Andrew.

"We've suggested that. A lot of the researchers are the same anti-kid sort. They have their carefully chosen heirs that were raised by a nanny."

"Since we don't have a nanny, they need someone."

"I know. I've pointed that out." He shrugged. "You do better."

"Ours are happier too." They grinned. "And about to pounce."

Andrew looked back, turning to tickle the little girl, who ran off again. "Let me make fruit pieces for snacks."

"Give it an hour, Andrew. They should be worn out by then," Gray said. He nodded, going to handle things then make them fruit.

"They're incredibly loud," an officious older man sneered from the doorway.

"Good. They're kids, they're supposed to be." Gray looked back at him. "That's how you know they're healthy and not emotionally stunted." He sneered back. "Then again, you don't really care about the little kids. If you're that bothered by kids, don't be around them and hire them a nanny. Or hire them a nanny and set up a house specifically safe for minis." He huffed off.

Xander nodded, pulling up local real estate. They shared the pictures until they found one to suggest. Plenty of bedrooms, lots of bathrooms because slayers were still girls, and just up the street by a few blocks so the older girls could still spend lots of time with them. Giles came out with a pitcher of tea and unbreakable glasses. They exchanged the phone for them.

"I had been thinking within a few houses so we could walk over."

"They need their own mom sort," Xander said. "Just like Buffy had."

"Good point. I can arrange that." He handed it back. "That's only six blocks away so the girls could go play with them I suppose." He went inside to look that up and make some plans for the board to agree he had the right to do tomorrow.

"Guys, want some tea?" he called. They ran over to get some, one lagging.

Xander got up to pick her up, making her wince. "What hurts?" She sniffled. "Show me what hurts?" She snuggled into his chest. He sat down again, running a hand over her legs and arms then one over her stomach, making her flinch. "Andrew!" he bellowed.

He came out and nodded. "It's not what you think. She's got an ulcer, we think it was a birth defect." He took her to hold. "Didn't you get your medicine this morning?" She nodded. "Still hurts?" She nodded again, holding her belly. "We can have the doc look it over. Maybe even with the machine again. You liked the squirty stuff the machine uses." He took her upstairs. No doctor. "Hmmm. Well...." He came back down. "She's not in."

"Take her to the ER," Xander said. "We can handle lunch stuff. We do with ours." He smiled and grabbed what they'd need, taking her to the ER. He and Gray did 'rock/paper/scissors' to see who got to go cook. Gray went in to do that while Xander played with the older kids for a bit.

Buffy walked in. "Where's Andrew?"

"One of the minis had a stomach problem so she's in the ER with him." He looked at her. "We do cook for our own kids, Buffy."

"Oh. Why do you have kids?"

"We adopted."

"Why?" she demanded.

"Classified by the UK government." She groaned, shaking her head. He smiled. "I raise four kids." She walked off shuddering. "Help Giles with plans for the minis." He went back to dealing with what Andrew had laid out. They could make something not usual for the girls to eat with it. Hamburger was a universal ingredient in many ways. You could do a lot with it.

***

Frank knocked on Victoria's door, earning a dirty look. "I brought you an apology present. The twins captured him for me." She got out of the way. He went out to get the guy from the trunk and carried him in to drop in front of her.

She smiled. "That's a charming present, Frank. I almost forgive you for not telling me I had two other sons." She patted him on the cheek. "Put on some water for tea?"

"Of course. Ivan?"

"He'll be here tonight. I'm sure we can keep him alive that long." She smiled and Nick Fury tried to inch away from her. "We really must talk, Nicholas. You have upset me fully in a few extreme ways. Let me get a knife so I can cut that duct tape over your mouth a bit." She grabbed a steak knife, going to have some stress relieving fun that wouldn't ruin her floors.

For now.

She had a special room for playing with him and others in.

***

Xander came into the meeting last, with the kids following him. Gray had the babies this time and had just walked in himself. They set themselves in the corner.

"Must they attend?" one of the old liners demanded.

"Yes, unlike you we don't have a nanny," Xander said. "Thankfully our kids won't be jackasses like yours was." He flinched but backed down. "Besides, our kids are pretty well behaved. They've met with officers, soldiers, and even a few presidents and war lords in the past. I doubt they're going to do more than wander over to stare at you oddly because of your hair." He sat down beside his twin. "Guys, meeting time." They fussed over the babies instead of bothering the adults.

"We've done fantastic raising them," Gray said happily.

"They are quite charming young children. Even those who hate children said they are," Giles agreed. "That does bring up one point that will be covered today. I have decided the truly minis need the sort of loving home that only a parent can give. Therefore we're hiring them parents and setting them up in their own house nearby. One that will be safe for them as well as good for them."

"They're slayers. It's worked for generations," one sneered. He glared at the twins. "That's your doing isn't it?"

"Actually, it was Buffy's," Gray said smugly. "The longest lasting and she didn't get stolen by the watchers, didn't get raised in an unemotional home, taught to repress herself, none of that. It proves why she's lasted for a decade and yours didn't."

"Then again, didn't yours die when your house was broken into by demons sent by your rival at the old Council?" Xander asked. "I thought I read that somewhere."

The man sneered. "That was not my doing."

"No, but if it happens now we get to handle it," Gray said, pointing at himself and his twin. "Because that shit is wrong. The same as snatching the kids is wrong."

"Welcome to the twenty-first century," Xander quipped, smirking at him. "Things are different now. Slayers aren't slaves." That one got up and huffed out. "By the way, the UK is still looking into how you got her. A friend of ours gave us a list of old Council members who were under investigation so we could point out which ones were dead." He handed that down to Giles.

Giles read it over, nodding. "I see many of them were." He looked up. "Charles, your name is on here?"

"An accident I'm afraid. I was a bit...impaired due to an injury and hit a phone pole."

"All right. Candice?"

"I am?" she demanded.

"Yup," Gray said. "Twice. Once by your maiden name."

"We just told him which ones were dead," Xander said.

"You should have brought this to me first, boys," Giles said.

Xander looked at him. "Giles, I'm trying to keep them off the Council. If we hadn't, they would've sent someone in to infiltrate and find them. Which would've meant a raid, and press, and attention, then CPS showing up, and all that niceness."

"That's a point. You still could've told me."

"Telling them who's dead isn't harmful."

"Good point."

"Also, half of those he said was tax warrants."

"Oh, that makes much more sense and something we can handle quietly." He passed around the list.

"When did Gerbralt die?" the first person asked.

"When his house was burned down with him in it," Gray said. "By the girl he had kidnaped from her family." That one slumped. "Then her family had to be gotten off her back because they decided that made her unclean because *obviously* he had taken her for some other reason. We had to step in to get the girl free of them. They welcomed her being a slayer and won't try to kill her. They're very happy she can protect their areas as well. Her mother's even found her a boy who had been a soldier to help her because he can keep up with her. She accepted him and won't kill him. He's proved himself to be a bragging little asshole."

"Then we kicked his ass a few times in training," Xander finished with a smile. "He's much better now. Treats her like a princess and all that too."

"It's good it worked out well," Giles said. "Was she missed?"

"Her tribe's slightly nomadic with their herds," Gray said. "Mostly the males."

"Interesting." He looked at the others. "If you're on that list, I'll expect you to find out why and fix it. Quickly. We don't need that sort of attention."

"Especially with a problem coming up within the intelligence communities," Xander said. "It's the sort that they could turn on us, either side, and one will try to blame us since we're one of the people that found out."

"Is it that big of a problem?" the female at the other end of the table asked. The twins nodded. "Should we know?"

"Once we make sure no one's got a listening device or can scry," Xander said. "That's for later." He smiled at the kid that wandered over to him, giving him a hug. "What's up, Toby?" He held up something. "That's a listening device," he said. "Thank you for finding it. Where was it?" He pointed. "Aww, in your bear. We'll find out if your uncle or grandparents planted it." He kissed him on the head, making the baby giggle and head off.

Gray took it to look at. "NSA build. Not sure. Though if it leads back to someone we know they should tell us within the next hour before we destroy it." Xander's phone beeped. "Which one?"

"None of them. Agent Ass Wiggle's boss planted it."

"We can pause in DC on layover back to Africa." He tucked it into his back pocket. It steamed up as it self destructed. "Hmm, that was nice of them." He looked at the others with a smile.

"You know an agent named Ass Wiggle?" one asked blandly.

"We're not allowed to say his name out loud. His bosses might mind," Xander said. "He's cute but married and not our type."

She nodded. "Wonderful. Why were you involved in that?"

"Getting Thelma away from the people who had her," Gray said.

"Oh, that incident. That's fine then. It could be for much worse reasons from what we've heard about you two dating."

They shrugged in unison. "We can only date those who like us, and the bad ones get turned into some of our friends. It keeps us in diaper money," Gray quipped. "Including the warlord the other day."

"It was nice he kidnaped us all and fed us," Xander agreed. "Though we didn't like his plan to take out a village that had pissed us off to woo us. Thankfully we stopped him and then dealt with it."

"And he did have someone nicely sane watching the kids. That's a change we like."

Giles shook his head. "I do not need to know?" They shook their heads. "Then we'll go over that later, when I can yell at you two." They grinned. "Back to business. I've selected this house," he said, sliding it down. "We close on it at the end of the month. I've got interviews lined up for the caregivers for the children." They looked at it. "It's close enough for the older girls to go spend time with them and far enough away in case this house is attacked."

"Why would the older girls go visit?" one of them asked.

"Because sometimes it's so bad that the only thing that makes it all better is seeing something innocent and hugging the baby," Gray said quietly.

"I've been there and spent time playing in the nursery," Buffy said from her seat. "That'll also mean all the squealing can be over there?" The twins stared at her. "The kids are loud."

"They're kids. We were loud kids," Xander said. "You were. Your mother said you squealed more than Dawn. She told me once she worried you'd never talk because all you did was squeal at pretty things." She blushed. "The kids should be just as happy as you were. It makes them better adults. It made you the longest lasting slayer. They should have the same benefits."

"They should," she agreed. "And they should squeal over there instead of right underneath my window?" They smirked at her. "Fine. They're being kids. Happy kids are great. Better than crying ones." She pointed.

Gray looked over. "What happened?"

"She bit her tongue," Toby said. "Trying to chew on her toes. She missed."

"That happens." He got up to grab her, coming back to sit with her. "It's all right." She snuffled into his shoulder, calming herself down.

"They're very quiet," one of the old liners praised.

"They have their moments," Xander said. "I usually have the three babies. Gray does the older four." They nodded. "They love traveling. All but one of our slayers loves the kids and so do their families because most of ours are younger. Our oldest is the grunt, point, and kill sort but we've made her break that a few times."

Gray smiled at her. "We made her wear an actual dress to go hunt a demon at a bar one night. She got all flushy and embarrassed then complained that skirts got in the way of slaying."

"I heard from her that night," she said. "She said you guys were mean but I pointed out I hunted in a skirt all the time. We talked about how to handle that."

"I told her if she kept grunting at me instead of speaking I was going to help her father find her a husband," Gray said. "Then introduced her to six different soldiers."

"I didn't know about that but I introduced her to one I had been working with on an upcoming problem. She blushed, mumbled at him, then fled. He introduced her to his little brother because he was married but the little brother's kinda hot."

"They're so cute," Gray agreed with a grin. "He even thinks her grunting is cute."

Buffy smiled, shaking her head. "You guys are horrible, the same as you were to me."

"It helped her and made her happier. He can even hunt with her," Gray said with a shrug and a grin.

The baby looked up at him. "Me?" she asked.

"Some day I'll help you find someone nice to date too." He kissed her on the head. "Want to go play?" She cooed so he put her down. She crawled toward the other kids, pouncing one. "Play nicely."

"She good."

"Okay."

Giles smiled at them. "They are adorable children, boys." They smiled. He looked at the group. "Any dissent or amendments to my ideas for the truly small slayers?"

"How many parents?" one asked.

"It takes three adults per kid," Buffy complained. "I have no idea how Xander does it."

"One good mom can handle two kids," Xander said. "Or me."

"I taught mine to take turns so I wasn't overloaded," Gray said.

"Seven minis," Giles said.

"Eight," Buffy corrected. "Brienna's coming back with hers soon."

"She can live over there if she wants," Giles said. "That is her daughter. I can hire at least three, up to five, parents."

"Don't forget a father or someone who can do what Andrew does," Buffy said. "It'll help the girls learn to deal with guy things."

Giles nodded, making a note of that. He looked at the others. They all nodded that was fine with them. "Then we'll get to work on that later. I've got interviews scheduled tomorrow." He flipped four folders out of his stack onto the table. "Reports from overseas."

"Ours are dumbed down so we don't get yelled at by Buffy," Xander said.

She snorted. "I need to yell about what I saw anyway."

Gray pulled up footage to put on the room's screen, letting her see it. She stared then suddenly ran of to be sick. "That's not in there," he said, turning it off.

"Were you fighting it?" Giles asked.

"There were five of them. That was caught on someone's security camera," Xander said. "We were across the village and got that one last because they had started with a school."

Giles nodded. "I can understand that and only one was an adult, the rest were animals." He sighed. "All done with?"

"Yup," Gray said. "And we closed the portal with a dirty bomb we found." He smiled. "They won't be coming back for quite a while."

"Excellent. I dare say that's probably considered mean but I'd rather they all die off."

One of the old liners looked at them. "Where were the slayers?"

"The closest was six hundred miles away and she's four," Gray said.

"The closest adult one was over three hours of flying by helicopter. We called her earlier when we heard they were going to show up but they couldn't get her there until nearly the end. The local military was too far away. We only had twenty minutes to plan from when we heard to when we go there. The kids were being monitored by a hotel worker we paid and a soldier we worked with."

"That is a problem when you don't have a wife," one of the watchers said.

"We've been offered a few," Gray said dryly. "But they weren't really our sort and wanted more kids and to escape."

Giles shook his head. "The sort that usually likes you would probably be a worse choice but I can agree that you're not suited to being married to a traditional housewife sort." He looked at them. "The duo in Asia followed their lead by sending in dumbed down reports. They said they had a few others they didn't want to hear the complaining about. I got them anyway and praised them then sent them scotch."

Xander handed over the printout of the rest of theirs, putting them on top of the files. "I don't want to hear a single word."

Giles took them to look over, staring at one oddly then at him. "She did what?"

"That applies to three. Be more specific?" Gray asked.

"The babies you two were watching."

"Oh, they played with the spirits the shaman had called up by accident."

"Not that one."

The twins shared a look then Xander took it to look at. "Oh." He let Gray see before handing it back. "Same set of minis. They were amused greatly at the shaman accidentally creating a zombie puppy while sick from his own cooking."

Giles stared at them. "Did it harm them?"

"No. It was the village dog, had played with them all the time. It growled at him," Gray said with a point at Xander. "But otherwise it was really protective."

"It ate a piglet that got away from an owner," Xander said. "I said I'd kill the dog when the kids were gotten out of the way so they didn't have to see it. Thankfully the old one got the mom in from the planting to do that so I could kill it for them. She agreed, it hadn't harmed anything and she didn't want the kids to see me kill it."

Giles stared at him. "How do you do that?"

The twins shrugged. "We really would like someone to discover that," they said in unison.

"Please ignore the one that summoned back Anya to nag us because we had ruined his summoning something higher to eat his rival."

"She nagged him until he committed suicide then pouted at us about never telling her about our real mother and dad, and about us being parents."

"Did she share anything else?" Giles asked blandly, smirking at them.

"She's bored, there's no orgasms over there," they said in unison.

"That does sound like Anya, yes." He found that report and shook his head but smiled. The rest were...heartburn inducing. One was so bad he had to glare. He nearly swatted.

Xander looked then at him. "We found out two days before. We handled it. No one else nearby."

"If that's *that* thing, yeah we weren't going to tell you."

"I forgot to take it out," Xander admitted.

"It was a..."

Xander held up a hand. "We know. We were there. Then we let a baby slayer's mom watch the kids while we go so fucking drunk we hallucinated." He stared at him. "Welcome to Africa's slaying problem. That's not the worst."

Giles slumped. "What's worse than that?" Someone snatched that to read and went pale, handing it on.

"A whole village that had been in thrall for so many generations they had no idea that people had technology outside of fires," Xander said bluntly. "Really fucking powerful demon queen from the old lines." Giles slumped more, staring at them, mouth slightly open. Xander pointed at Gray.

"I went in to have a chat with her about things. She was horrified, she hadn't heard from an outside source in about as long. She went looking and came back sobbing, promising to update her people. I pointed out them being in thrall was the problem. She said it was keeping them from dying from stupid things like diseases. We decided to leave her with a warning and getting a promise that if any of the villagers wanted to leave she'd let them. Otherwise it'd mean taking out the whole village to get to her."

Giles nodded, clearing his throat. "That is a wise decision on your parts, boys. I believe it's the correct one in that situation." They smiled. "Is that in here?"

"Fuck. No," Xander said bluntly. "There's seven we didn't include in there and she was the nicest."

"I'd like to see those. Just in case it comes back to bite us."

"One may but we had no choice in that same sort of situation." Gray called them up to let him flip through them. Giles stared then at them. "Read on." He kept reading, grimacing as he got up to get a drink.

"Bloody hell." He turned to look at them. "Unclearable?" They shook their heads. "Spreading?"

"Actively. We found out because they got half a village one night. All it took was spit contact," Gray said. "The military told us something was going on but they weren't sure what. I got there that night. Xander had the kiddies outside the town. I saw what happened, tried everything to get someone free, and the demon realized it so we chatted. I looked it up through Amalia," he said with a point at her, making her shudder but nod. "The only other choice was going back to that hell goddess to let her handle it and I called but she said it could infect hers too but she would protect who she could." He shrugged. "I had *no* choice."

"No, you had no choice in that circumstance, my boy." He patted him on the shoulder. "How do I show this?" Xander took it to beam it to the tv. "This is when its at its worst." Xander coughed and changed it. Giles read the very short, paragraph long report then nodded. "I'm mistaken. That's much worse." He looked at them. They shrugged but looked down. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, boys." He patted them both on the shoulder. The other watchers wouldn't look at them. Giles ended the beaming because he heard Buffy chatting with Willow. "As you can see, things are bad."

"We hadn't had anyone down there in generations," one of the watchers said. "Then only in colonized areas. It was thought to be too dangerous."

"Yeah," Xander agreed. "It can be."

"We didn't expect you two to be able to get into the brush that way," Amalia said. "You're in campers."

"With four wheel drive and lift kits," Gray said, smiling at her. "It's been kitted out like a range rover."

"Very handy for most things," Xander agreed. "Though we have had to hike some places. Then one of us gets the kids and the other of us handles things. Like the goddess living in a cave behind Victoria Falls."

Giles blinked at them, flipping through the reports. "I don't have a thing on that."

"That was last year and we just went to talk to her. She was stranded and pouty. We called the coven and they thought they could get her home."

"Ah. Wonderful." He stared at them then at the others. "Do any of you others have that sort of story?" They all shook their heads.

"Maybe they should. Field work does give you a new life to your blood," Xander quipped with a grin.

"Lad, most of us are too old to do that. Even if there's ninety-year-old men running marathons none of us were ever that sort."

"Someone still has to finish up the cleanup of the old building," Xander said. "And it'll take some field skills as well as digging up stuff. You guys had a vault with demons stored and half the things storing them are probably broken. We heard them having a good laugh when we were there."

"I remember that vault," Amalia said. "It won't be holding them if they want out."

"There's an old awning thingy with runes on top of that pile of rubble," Xander said. "They can't get past that apparently."

"Oh, that. Um... yes, someone really should go safely burn that." She looked at Giles.

"I've said I wanted someone to go over to finish the excavation. No one's volunteered."

"Plus the ones that are in the older manor houses," Xander said. "Because I'm pretty sure some of them had heirlooms that they caught." The older watchers looked at each other and nodded, then made plans to do that part of it. "Also, Giles. Hiring? Can we please have some help? There's two of us for a continent twice the size of the US."

"I've been trying, boys. Ask some of your intelligence friends if they know of anyone who could do the job for the right reasons and I'll gladly test them."

"We can do that," they agreed together, sending out text messages.

Xander groaned, holding his head as he leaned over. "Fuck you, Powers," he muttered. Gray was helping him. "You get the next one."

"If they had given them to me I'm sure I would. Unfortunately you kept that in the split." Xander got up to go puke then came back with notes. He flopped back down, taking the kids to cuddle from his corner.

Giles read it over. "Who are these sorts? We have people in costume?"

Gray took it. "The same ones that saved New York about a year and a half ago, Giles."

"Oh, them. Oh, dear."

"No, that's a bigger problem than oh dear. That's... shit." He called someone. "It's Gray. It's vitally important I talk to one of *that* team. Xander had a vision." He paused then smiled. "Pretty, dangerous one, I'm Gray, one of his little brothers. My twin has visions. We are not wrong yet. Your engineer is making something to end the world. I can do that, yes. But you need to stop it before he starts it."

"I saw him pushing the enter key. Stop him now," Xander said quietly.

"Xander said it'll be activated today." He read off the notes, walking off talking to her. She said she'd handle it. "Also, there's a note on here that those sort we're all worried about thanks to Ward have two kids that got made thanks to the guy who had been warping Stark International. The sins of his godfather are going to be blamed on him sort of thing, yeah. Thanks. Let us know if we need to help." He hung up and walked back in there, moving around Willow. "They'll try to get it stopped, Xander."

"Good. I'd hate to fight the AI that wants to destroy us all for being illogical." He looked up. "Can you have the visions for a bit?"

"I would if I could."

"I'll see if I can have them passed over," Willow said.

"If it means we both have them, it's a danger," Xander told her.

"Okay. I'll just look." She looked at Giles, then tapped the paper in front of her. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." The map of the building popped up. "Huh." She let Giles see it.

"Gray, you're listed as a Xander-squared."

"Well, with how we got split," Xander said dryly.

"Good point." He looked it over then around the room. "There's been rumors of shape shifters getting in here. It seems they were right." He stared at one, who changed suddenly and tried to attack. Gray shot it. "Thank you." He looked around. "Three others are not listed on here. Two not at all. One's listed by another name." He looked at her. She shook her head. Giles held it up so she could see it. She swallowed then smoked up and disappeared. "It's nice a higher demon was helping our research department."

"I'll look into what she was working on," Willow said, going to do that. She didn't need to see the destruction.

Giles cleared his throat, looking at a married couple. "You're not listed at all. Why is that?"

"We have protections from magic finding us. We did it when the First started," she said.

Xander stood up to stare at her. "The only one that could do that took multiple sacrifices of innocent blood." She blinked at him. "Unless you found something else?"

"I used the Pergot book."

"Which calls for multiple sacrifices of innocent blood," Gray agreed.

Giles nodded. "It did. I read that when I was younger. Thought about ending the nagging I was getting with it but you couldn't call them innocent by any means."

She swallowed, gripping her husband's hand tight. "I..."

"We'll be fine, dear. It protects us from that," her husband said.

"No," Xander said. "It stops anyone from using magic to find the bodies. Since when have any police departments used magic?" They got up to stomp off but Giles stopped them by knocking them out. Xander sent another text message. He showed Giles the answer. "There had been a house fire they managed to escape from but their three children hadn't," he told the group. "Not totally suspicious with the First's blowing things up. It's considered an open case."

"If I remember right, wouldn't it have taken at least ten bodies," Giles said. Xander nodded. "When did you read it?"

"I was hoping for a protection from Willow."

"That's a good point," he admitted with a sigh at the end. "Very well. If they have an open investigation, we don't want people who kill their children associated with us. It will definitely draw the wrong attention."

"Not like I want to be part of the same group," Xander said. "I'll frog march them into the PD if you want." His phone rang with a text message. "They found the twins. Good." He looked at his twin. Who smiled. "Yeah, we can help if we need to. Take a week off." He sent that back and got back to playing with the bored kids.

Giles smiled at the group. "All right, there's a few last things we need to go over for this meeting. Let us do that while the local PD comes to gather those two to hand over. Buffy, do call someone," he called.

"Buffy smoked up because she had been a shape shifter," Andrew called back. "So did Kennedy. I've just knocked Willow out again."

"Two of the old line sacrificed their kids and others," Xander called. "It's an open case out of England."

"I'll call someone." He walked off calling. He came back. "Giles, can you please make it clear I'm not the help?"

"He is not the help. He has the same status as Xander and Gray do, plus as Willow does. We are the founding members of the New Council," Giles said. "Even if he chooses to take over the necessary duties that keep us all from falling apart, he is not the help."

"Thanks." He went to let the officers in. "We went looking for the shape shifters we heard we had and found out two of them had sacrificed people to get protections." The officer grimaced. "They're unconscious." He led them to them. The guy was up and Andrew got him out of the bathroom. "Here." The officer waved a hand at Willow. "Her girlfriend was one. She was going to have a magical fit."

"Thanks for saving the city then," one agreed. They hauled them out and to the station so they could call over there. England had notice of the fire, and were reopening it. The US could keep them for a few hours until they looked it back over.

"Hey, Cleveland's not nearly as insane as Sunnydale," Xander quipped.

Giles stared at him. "The hellmouth is less radiating. Go play with the children, boys." They did that. Giles sat down, looking at his watchers. "Let's finish this so we can all go drink. Shall we?" They nodded, getting back to the necessary things.

***

Natasha hung up with Stark, nodding. "He found that program and where they are. We can go rescue them but they are HYDRA." Phil nodded once. "They've been told all sorts of things probably to make them loyal to their regime."

"We can go," Clint said. "We're just hanging around here until things get settled. Take May with us?" She considered it then nodded. "Sir?"

"Go ahead. Bring them back to London, to the SHIELD safehouse." They nodded and left. Phil looked at Merlin and Arthur. "Sorry."

"No, that's important," Arthur said. "Who else is vulnerable to them?"

"They loathe the twins," Merlin said. "Consider them the biggest danger since one has visions, the other has contacts who'll blow them both then give 'em weapons, and they know that somehow they can tell who's bad. I always liked that about 'em."

Arthur looked at him. "How do they do that?"

"No clue."

"Hmm." He looked at Coulson. "How many have you found dirty in your house?"

"One-hundred-nineteen out of the one-forty we've looked at." Arthur winced. "Including someone I trained with. He may be the primary infection point."

"When are you going to tell your higher up?"

"When I find him," Phil said dryly. "No one has any idea where Nick Fury is."

Merlin cleared his throat. "The twins captured him one night and let Frank deliver him as an apology present to your mother. I've let her know we need him alive for a bit but not why yet."

"So he's in Virginia then. That's pretty country." He smiled. "I'll go retrieve him soon."

Arthur smiled. "Wonderful. Anything else that's going to go wrong?" Merlin laid out name lists from other agencies. "Which one is MI-5?"

"Five, six," Merlin said with a point. "Interpol. CIA. BND...." Arthur held up a hand, staring at the lists. "We're all sinking with them. We had one. He's dead now. We caught him trying to get to Ward and let Romanoff ask him. She was most pleased to give that lesson as well. If we have any others they're hiding desperately." He smiled at Phil. "I asked one of the twins if they could ask a poker buddy to have all the HYDRA people marked."

"It might collapse SHIELD and other agencies suddenly. That'd cause a huge amount of problems," Phil said. "Otherwise I might."

"They said the same thing. Someone trained them well in tactical thought," Merlin said.

Phil smiled. "They're good boys some of the time." Merlin laughed, nodding. "Much like your Eggsy is."

"Much," Arthur agreed. "Can they work together?"

"They did for that two weeks in Africa," Merlin said. "A few random attacks, two battles. He did good. They even taught him some about swords."

"I'll find someone to teach us that as well," Arthur said. "Just in case." He looked at Phil. "How soon before we can snap this trap?"

"We need to find the rest," Merlin said. "That'll take at least two weeks. I've gotten our closest allies done but SHIELD's massive and it'll take the rest of a week itself."

"All right. So we plan on snapping it then?" Phil nodded. "Go find your boss, lad, and figure out how to do that."

"I'll call my mother." He looked at Merlin.

"You can use my screen. She's a charming lass. Too deadly for me but charming and sweet."

"She sends me cookies on my birthday." He smiled. They went back to the computer services area.

Arthur shook his head but smiled. "If we need to make an American branch, we have our first three recruits easily."

Merlin put the call up on the screen. "Mom, turn on your camera," Phil said quietly. She did, smiling at him. "We need Nick to live for another two weeks."

"That's fine, dear. His second-in-command was sniffing around so we're getting her too."

"Great." He held up a list. "All the dirty in MI-5."

"That's six," Merlin said, holding up another stack. "Five. CIA," he said with another held up stack.

"Oh, dear." She looked back. "Frank? Martin?" They both looked up. "Go get that nice young scut we nearly took out. They have a lot of dirt in their carpet."

"Yes, Victoria," Martin said. He beamed. "Phil!"

"Martin, hi." He smiled back. "It's a huge problem we just found out about. Like the collapse of all agencies bad."

"Please have turned into a drama queen," Martin begged.

"I wanted to, but Dad kept me from my band years," Phil said with a smile for his father.

Merlin held up a stack. "Yours, Ivan."

"Oh well," he said. "They knew better. They can pay for it."

"There's three special projects they're doing that we're stopping now," Merlin said. "One's been in and out of Russia." Ivan stared. "He had been at the Red Room at some point in time."

Ivan grimaced. "They were wrong then and wrong now."

"This one's in cryogenics." Ivan stiffened, staring at him. "What? You've heard?"

"Rumors only." He nodded once. "Tell me where and if I can help."

"Right now, we can send you a list. I've gotten all yours done," Merlin said. "Do you have a secure email?"

"Of course." He sent the address to Phil and Merlin emailed him that list. Ivan got into it, printing it. "My assistant. Wonderful. I will talk to him later." He walked off reading and shaking his head.

Phil smiled. "We're still looking at SHIELD, Mom."

"That's a mess," she said.

He nodded. "They had plans, Mom. Huge, apocalypse battle plans that even the twins would shudder at."

"I'll keep that irritating little pissant who thinks he has power alive until you show up for dinner, dear." She blew a kiss. "Call for normal reasons?"

"Of course. Tomorrow night?" She smiled and nodded, hanging up. On that side, she broke out in an unladylike swear but her spouse just kissed her because of it. Phil looked at Merlin. "My mother's going to have fun killing someone."

"A lot. Quite a lot." He sent a warning to the twins then got back to work on SHIELD's servers.

***

Frank found the young agent out and about with his kids. "You need to come in," he said quietly as he walked behind him. "There's a huge problem in the agency."

"Again?" he complained, looking at him. He sighed, going back to getting his kids packed up. They had been about to leave anyway. He heard a car alarm going off and looked, turning it off since it was his car. "You guys sit right there. Don't move. Let me check the car." He went that way. He had spotted Martin too. Frank stopped him by calling, shaking his head over the video call. "No?"

"I disarmed your trunk."

"Who?"

"Huge amounts of dirty agents. Get your family to safety. Meet us at Victoria's by tonight." He hung up.

"Sure," he agreed, calling in someone he trusted. The call wouldn't go through. He called his wife, who showed up to take the kids and go into hiding. It wasn't the first time. The agent rented a car and headed out, changing over three other times and ending up in a totally different area, renting a car under his backup identity. By dinner that night he was at Eagle's Nest. He was let in. "What's that important?"

"Six hundred dirty agents all to one group," Victoria said. "Clean up, it's nearly dinner and Phil will be here soon with the lists."

He nodded, being shown to a bathroom so he could clean up and calm down. He came out and found a man he vaguely recognized after a mission. "You're Coulson from SHIELD." He nodded, smiling and shaking his hand. "Both our agencies?"

"All agencies. Mine's the worst so far. Yours is mildly infected to back up SHIELD's infection."

"Wonderful!" He sat down at the table. "Thank you for warning me, Victoria."

"You're welcome. Children are a precious thing." She smiled at her son then at him. "I've recently found out you know my younger twins, longer than I have."

"Are they named Harris?" he guessed, wincing. She nodded, smiling. "That figures. They're deadly, just a bit weird."

"The grandchildren made her mellow for a whole day," Phil said with a smile for his mother. "I have Maria showing up alone in the town in about three hours, Mom."

"That's fine, dear. We can easily hit her then talk to her for not telling us you were dead then alive. It's a pity she got out of the trap we laid for her." She handed over the meat platter. "Do eat, boys." They dug in, talking over dinner about what the twins had been doing. Work talk came later.

Ivan walked in after getting Maria, handing her to Victoria. "She is a huffy, mouthy thing but decent enough I suppose."

Phil smiled. "She is the second-in-command, Dad." Maria gaped at him. He smirked. "They're mad they didn't hear about my death or me being revived. Nick blocked me from telling them anything so they're mad."

"Is that why I'm here?"

"No. We found out HYDRA is infecting SHIELD and everyone else. We can't even find all the ones in SHIELD. But we'll let you 'save' Nick in a few minutes, once we've talked." He stood up, taking the lists out of his bag. "All right, people. Someone get Nick out of the cellar so I don't have to repeat it." Martin went to get him and dragged him upstairs. "Thanks, Uncle Martin."

"Welcome, Phil." He sat down. "I knew some were bad."

"A lot are bad." He laid out lists. "Nick."

He blinked at him. "Phil." He looked around. "What's all this?"

"This is my mother's house. You blocked me from telling her I was alive." Fury shuddered, looking at Victoria. "But she'll take you out later. Right now we've found out we have a huge problem. Everyone has a huge problem." He put the largest stack in front of him. "All the HYDRA agents we've found so far in SHIELD."

"HYDRA," he said bluntly. Phil nodded. Fury sucked in a breath. "How?"

"Two ways. My former training mate and an AI of one of the old line. Zola."

"Where?"

"Nick, we can't find them all. They have plans to take out anyone who could stop them." He put that set of files down. "I have Natasha, May, and Barton going to stop this one." He tapped that folder. "The other two are worse. Including using our new helicarriers to kill anyone who protests."

Fury grimaced, taking them to look at, his face tightening up. "This is evil." He looked at the list, flipping through it. "How did we find out?"

"Ward."

Fury's head lifted. "Ward? On your team?"

"A section head." He stared at him. "Thankfully I was working with Merlin on something when we found out."

"I hate that group," Fury said.

Phil shrugged. "They have a lot of very good, effective agents. I'd go to them in a heartbeat if SHIELD's destroyed by this. They offered for Natasha and Barton too. Knew someone who could take in May and help Skye."

Fury shook his head. "How bad is it?"

"It's bad enough that my little brothers had a vision about it. They're Council."

"There's only two sets of twins in the Council and one's girls," Maria said.

"I didn't know about them until the same day I found out my son was alive and I had grandchildren they had rescued from the same people," Victoria said dryly.

Maria Hill nodded, backing up a step. "If we had known he had parents, I would've called you myself, ma'am."

"Oh, forgot my manners," Phil said. "This is my mother, Victoria Winslow. My father, Ivan Siminov, my all-but uncles Frank Moses and Martin. Frank's girlfriend Sarah is in the kitchen making tea and coffee."

Fury looked at Phil then at Ivan. Then back at Phil. "Why did you keep that quiet?"

"To protect them and myself. There's plenty that would take out a legacy child, Nick."

"Too true," the other guy said. "We would've taken him in as soon as he was of age."

"Who're you?" Maria asked. "I know you're CIA. I've seen you on ops."

"William Cooper."

"Or as my little brothers call him, Agent Ass Wiggle," Phil said, smiling at him.

"I was undercover investigating them. We knew nothing about the council and they were the easiest to get. They were dating arms dealers and my boss got panicky."

"The twins do draw that sort," Phil said.

"I'm very pleased they took down that warlord that tried to take out a village to woo them," Victoria said with a smile for Ivan. "They show much of your style even without you training them, dear."

"I noticed and was proud. A bit too obvious but perhaps we can refine that so they're easier in the fields of Africa. Training the slayers is too important to leave to anyone."

Cooper looked at them then nodded. "No one else in the Council can get down there anyway." He took the CIA list, looking it over. "That explains why I couldn't reach my assistant or boss." He kept going. "The director. Oh, shit."

"The president, even bigger shit," Phil quipped back. "Three senators, the VP's wife, members of the Security Council." Cooper shuddered. "A couple of foreign rulers that made it through the computer chip thing that Valentine did."

"What's the ideas we have so far?" Fury asked. "It's too big to throw over at once or we'll have chaos and the military trying to take over. Ross and others would do it in a heartbeat."

Phil's phone cleared its throat. "We have a problem," Merlin's voice said. "That one cryogenic program I found? It's a throw back to the last world war. Your hero's going to have conniptions of the destruction level, Phil."

"Who?" Phil asked, looking at his father, who shrugged. "Do we have any idea who's under it?"

"Codename Winter Soldier." Ivan stiffened, staring at Victoria.

"We've seen him once. He nearly took out Ivan but was actually after someone else," Victoria said.

Martin rubbed his arm. "Got me to get through to someone behind me in a crowd," he said. "My handler told me who it was by the rumors."

"His real name?" Phil asked, wincing some.

Merlin sighed. "Barnes."

"Oh, shit," he said. "Where are they?"

"DC."

"Can we get in there easily?" Phil asked. "If I get someone like Stark?"

"No. You'll need a team with Stark and gear to get him out safely. Tracking it, they're starting dethawing soon, when they unveil their helicarrier plan."

"I can go tonight," he said. "Let me call around. Thank you, Merlin."

"Knew you crushed on the big boy. Wish we had someone who could be a role model for boys like Eggsy sometimes." He hung up.

"He doesn't know about the Captain Britain guy?" Maria asked.

"Apparently not. I'll share that file later." He walked over to the camera set up, calling. "I know, you can beat me in a few days," he said when Stark opened his mouth. "There's a huge problem in DC. I need you, as an engineer, not Iron Man, I need Steve and he's going to be emotionally drained, and I need a team we can trust. Now. Within hours."

"I'm going to beat you back to death," Stark said. "Why should we?"

"Because we found someone in storage since your dad was around." Stark arched up an eyebrow, crossing his arms across the chest. "I don't know that they haven't hacked you, Stark."

"I ended it earlier. JARVIS is always better than an AI done in the forties and he's there."

"We found Barnes."

Stark stood up suddenly, staring at the camera. "Excuse me?" he demanded. "I heard what happened."

"Same people, Stark."

"How soon?"

"Hours."

"My teammates?"

"Germany."

"Fuck."

"Basically. Oh, by the way." He held up the stack from SHIELD. "All the HYDRA guys in SHIELD that we've found so far. Probably another week before we have a full list."

"Fuck," Stark repeated. "Yeah, I can do that. Anyone you trust absolutely?"

"They're in Germany." He sighed. "Not Steve's team. I spotted their names. Not Garret or anyone associated with him for now."

"What about the two agents you have ingrained here?"

"Stellers isn't on the list. The other we haven't gotten to yet."

"Bruce help?"

"We'll need his medical help. It's cryogenics."

Stark nodded. "Yeah. Two hours, DC."

"Three. I'm too far away." He hung up, looking at his mother. He kissed her on the cheek, hugged his father, then left.

"I can help," Cooper said, following him. "It'll save me from killing my assistant today."

"Sure. Always happy to have decent help. You drive. I flew in then hiked up the mountain."

"Sure." He got in to drive them off. Victoria's son had to be pretty good. The only things he'd heard about him were great.

***

Gray got back from helping Phil that night, flopping down in a chair. Xander looked over before getting out of bed to come do his medical needs. "He's safe."

"Good. You safe?"

"They tried a tracker but Phil found it and pulled it."

"Not like they don't know who we are," Xander said. He got them into the bathroom to clean off and bandage all the sore spots. A few stitches and a bit of packing material into one that was too wide to stitch right off. He did that one last. Then they curled up around the kids and snuggled in. The house had protections on it so even HYDRA couldn't blow it up.

***

Xander walked into the office the next morning. Giles got up early so he had some peace and quiet before the slayers and Andrew got up. "We're going today. Last night Gray had to help against HYDRA," he said quietly. "He's injured but not horribly so. We don't want them coming here. Keep up the protections?"

"I can do that and assign you to England." He handed over a note. "I've called all the girls in Africa and they agreed they can do without you for six months since it's the quiet season. We need someone to finish the main building. You two are uniquely situated for that."

"That could bring danger there."

"The UK would be safer. You'd have backup from people who thought you more than useful."

"True. All right, we can do that. What about our campers?"

"I'll have them flown up. Not that hard. They do it to cars all the time. They'll meet you at the old building in two days." He smiled. "Is Gray truly all right?"

"A few minor wounds, one was a tracker bullet but it got pulled almost immediately. The guy they were saving is fine though. That's the important thing since he's a major block of their plans." He looked outside then at Giles. "Do we have to work on a fallback for the girls?"

"We have a few, dear boy. Including your new house in the Carribean." He smiled. "I'm confiscating it for the good of the girls. I didn't think you'd mind."

"Nah. I can't see the whole family gathering there for a reunion."

"Good. Then be on your way tonight. I'll have tickets waiting on you with the kiddies."

"Send us the girls if you have to," he ordered.

"The coven will handle that."

"Okay." He shook his hand and got a hug then made them breakfast so they could head to the airport now. With a stop for diapers, more formula, and some cute clothes since the babies were growing again.

***

The twins announced they were back in London by blowing up the demon trying to eat the Tower of London. They stared at it. The kids were clapping. "Did you really have to do that in front of our kids?" Gray demanded. "They're impressionable and already like weapons." The demon moaned and died. "Cool. Thanks." He grinned and waved at someone. "Let's go check out that old building again. It's gotta be worse now." They walked off, showing the kids the sights. They liked all the pretty things and people. Toby even tried to grab one but Xander made him let her go.

"Not yours. You can't set me up on a date that way, Toby. She's probably much too nice to be my type." He grinned at her. "Sorry. He thought you were pretty." She laughed as she walked off. He looked down at his son. "Nice taste, but still, son." They kept walking, ignoring their shadowing agents, heading to the hotel for the night. They had a fruit basket courtesy of Merlin, and a warning on it to not use artillery in London again please. "Sure, if we can." He checked Gray's injuries and let him shower first. "There, Gray's injuries are okay. Not infected or anything." The kids ate some fruit, took a nap, and then got up being holy terrors until they let them watch tv. They giggled at it. They had only seen tv a few times.

***

Gray was grabbed the next morning, staring at the guy who had grabbed him. "I'm to lead you to a real doctor. Just in case."

"I'm fine. Xander's a good field medic."

"Yeah, but that's still not someone able to give antibiotics, right?" Eggsy said, walking him off.

"I'm supposed to be finding lunch. We're going up-country tomorrow."

"That's fine. Won't take long." He led him to a doctor Merlin had called. "Here ya go, Doc."

She smiled. "Mr. Harris."

"Ma'am. My twin's a field medic. They're clean."

"We can check. Your big brother is most peeved you got shot at all. He called me." She smiled, leading him back to an exam room. She sighed. "You're a Watcher."

"One of the trainers in Africa. We helped make the new Council after helping Buffy for years."

"Good. I was hoping you'd be one of them instead of one of the dicks."

"Nah, I'd never become that sort of dick." He took off his shirt for her. She looked, frowning at one injury. "We had to dig a tracker bullet out of it on site."

"It's well fixed but starting to get a bit inflamed." She nodded, stepping back. "Anything else you need?"

"The kids got shots recently."

"The UK version?"

"The travel version."

"How many kids do you have?"

"Seven. Three tiny and four bigger."

She blinked. "Wow." He grinned, putting back on his shirt. "Can you give shots if we get you the stuff?"

"Or we can take them to a health department up there or whatever."

"It's not safe."

"There's watcher related docs up there."

"Point."

"Plus a huge coven of nosy nags up country."

She laughed. "We've heard." She handed him the prescription. "I'll get the shots sent to the hotel later tonight." He nodded. "Good boy. Go play."

"Yes, ma'am. Thanks." He left, finding Eggsy out there. "I need to get this filled and lunch."

"Lunch's easier. There's a huge farmer's market two blocks away. Lots of veggies for kids."

"They'll like that. They've eaten native since we've gotten them. Thanks." Eggsy shrugged and took him to get things filled and bought. Then back to the hotel. The doctor had a package waiting on them of needles and meds, plus a list of when they get them. Eggsy left them to handle things and reported back. Merlin thanked him and told him to go enjoy his day off. Merlin would be taking care of those kids until the twins died and then he was set up to inherit them if Phil didn't want them.

***

The twins looked at the mess of the old compound then at each other, then at the cooing, nagging witches. "Where's the magic stuff we'll have to avoid?" Xander asked.

The witches looked over at them. "Which one?" the older one asked.

"Good point. Want to handle the vault first or something more minor?" Gray asked. "Don't feed her that. She'll spew. She's not allergic but she hates sausage."

The witches rolled their eyes. "They need to be exposed to more normal food."

"They do fine with most of them but sausage is greasy." Gray came over, handing her the spit up cloth for the spitting baby. "So the lesser area," he said with a point. "Or one of the vaults of doom? Or the underground of improbable space?"

"You've made it down there?"

"Yeah, during our few weeks here before going to Africa we spelunked down into the basement and took film of what we saw, that way Giles could tell us if something was more important."

The younger witch called him to get what they knew. She grimaced. "Can we start out in the old ritual building?" She pointed at the mostly intact building. "That'd have most of our stuff and we might need some of it before we get to the vault of evil things. That might need the whole coven."

"Sure," Gray agreed, taking them that way.

The mini slayer that had been sent to them to babysit had the kids in the grass to play with. Her mother had punished her for skipping school by making her help them. It was a fate worse than death but she didn't mind so much, she hated school. "I've got these guys. It's all cool, Xander and Gray."

"Wonderful. Let us know if you need help," Gray said.

"Especially if they summon fairies again," Xander added, rolling his eye and shaking his head. They managed to get the ritual building's door open and looked inside. Everything was tipped over but only one small hole in the floor. "Looks like a summoning was interrupted and ate the circle," he said.

The witch looked over his shoulder. "It really does, yes." She moved around him. He pulled her back at the first creak of the floor. "I'll stay here so I don't find out if we had a basement."

"It apparently holds supplies," Gray said, looking down the hole. "There's a huge pile of wax there." He pointed. They walked around the edges, getting the things off the altar's area to hand out. Xander found the ring to raise the trap door and went down, bringing up the boxes. They got everything else cleaned up, including the wall hangings.

The witches set up a containment circle out there for anything they could find that held a demon. One of the kids crawled into it and sat there smiling at them. "Boys, does this one have magic?" the elder witch asked.

The twins leaned out to stare at them, then nodded. "Yeah, she does. Willow blessed her with it one night while drunk. She blessed our first kids to have magic so we'd finally understand how hard it was for her," Xander said dryly.

"Ah." The witches nodded, picking up that one to teach her how to properly lay a circle. "Never too early to start a good education, boys."

"Please do. I'd hate to beat her to death if she turns into Willow," Gray quipped, waving a hand.

"Make her turn into the better parts that Tara had, please," Xander agreed.

"We can do that, boys." They looked at the other kids, testing them for magic. One of the babies had it and one had a blessing on it. They'd be there to teach all three babies. They called the rest of the coven to tell them the babies had some magic. More of them showed up to teach them things.

"Don't make them fudge," Xander called without looking. "They are hyper on sugar."

Gray nodded, looking at his twin. "If they're going to have candy you guys are monitoring nap time."

"That's fine, boys." The head of the coven smiled at the slayer. "Babysitting?"

"I cut school. This is mum's punishment."

"Ah. Well, school is important, dear."

"School's boring and full of shitters who spew donkey shite. Especially the teachers. I had one tell me that Kennedy was actually a minion of Satan and Martians were helping the Russians win the cold war, that's why Satan had to step in so hard to protect the good people."

Gray leaned out. "You're in a catholic school."

"Yeah and it was a nun. When I asked her why Satan would take a lifelong catholic that way she huffed and threw me out. I suggested prozac on my way to the office. It's better if I not get thrown out of school this week. Babysitting is *so* much nicer."

"I can see that point but Sunnydale's wasn't *that* bad." He shook his head, going back to it.

"If ours believed in Martians they probably would've been eaten by the Mayor's people for fear they'd have more germs," Xander said.

"Point." They got finished with that building and went to the next storage building. They got the door open and all the witches hopped up. The twins looked at the demon standing there. "Dude, we're just cleaning up the mess for everyone. How long have you been out here?" Gray asked.

"Decades."

"You've been here long than we've been alive," Xander said dryly. "Great."

"I shall take you out to make your line cringe."

"We're not watcher spawn, dude," Xander said. "We were born and raised in Sunnydale so we helped the slayer that got sent."

The demon squinted at them. "You're Harris?" They smiled and nodded. "I heard there was only one of you."

"Troll hammer."

"Oh. Interesting." He stood up and huffed. "You can release me with your blood." They pointed at the witches. "No, that would hurt. I just need about a body's worth of blood."

"Or we can kill you," Xander said.

"No you can't."

"We can banish him," one of the coven said.

"He said you're mean," Gray called.

"I really just need blood," the demon said.

"Or we can kill you," Xander repeated with a smile. "Really."

"Banishing or death, dude. Pick," Gray ordered. "We don't want our kids to see us kill you but oh well."

The demon pouted. "Banish me," he sighed. "Maybe I'll be able to find my old girlfriend."

The witches came in to do the banishing. He disappeared with a yelp of pain then the witches went to have a picnic with the kids.

The twins walked into the building and backed out slowly. The building was slowly being lifted up due to the demon standing up. "Great," Gray muttered. "Xander?"

"Yes, dear." He shared a look with his twin. "Grace, could use the thing in the camper's back storage area please." She looked and moaned then ran for the campers. The demon stood up fully, being about three stories tall. The slayer opened the weapon, firing on the demon. It screamed, died, and the building fell on top of it.

"I guess we shouldn't make the wicked witch jokes since he's not wearing sparkly slippers," Xander said. He scratched the back of his head, looking at his twin.

"It wasn't exactly a flying house, more of a floating storage building," Gray agreed. "So maybe the mildly naughty witch of the east?" They dragged the demon out from under the ruins of the storage building, then off to the side so they could burn it later. "We'll need containment around the fire."

"I can lay rocks in a minute," Grace said. The kids clapped and cheered. The twins hugged them then got back to hauling stuff out. The coven helped a bit.

***

Xander flopped down at the pub, staring at the guy who sat across from him. "No one ever helps us haul stuff."

Merlin smiled. "Of course not."

"We've found so many demons it's not funny."

"We've been watching on cctv."

"Great. Got some grunts you want broken?"

"Yes," he admitted. He put the screen on the table. "Your brother."

"Yeah, our phones are down again for some reason."

"Fury had that company raided for having ties to terrorists," Phil said. "Sorry. Are you two all right? Mom's panicking."

"We've been cleaning up the mess of the old Council building." He held up a hand full of calluses. "We need more artillery too."

Phil stared at him. "A lot of debris?" he asked. Xander let out a slightly hysterical sounding snort. "Okay. I'll see if I can get you some. How much more do you have to go?"

"Sixteen smaller outbuildings, the main building, and the vault that used to hold all the possessed stuff that got shaken too much in the explosion but something confining fell on it."

The pub's bartender came over. "You're a Watcher, lad?"

"Now. I'm half of the trainers that are working with the girls in Africa but we have construction experience so we're cleaning up the mess." He gave him a small grin. "My twin's watching the kids tonight."

"You like them?"

"Hell no. We rebuilt it so it's actually good to the girls, and we're mostly sane. We're not like they were. We made sure."

"Good!" He smirked. "Old Travers owed a tab."

"He died in the explosion. We all cheered," Xander said dryly.

"Good then. I'll send it to his estate."

"I have no idea who took it over but I'll tell Rupert to expect it. He's the new head. They're in Cleveland."

"Poor guys. In America all the time." He walked off.

Xander looked at the tablet, smiling some. "The kids miss you reading to them. Can you call and do that?"

"I can do that in a while if you want. Your phones should be back on soon."

"Tomorrow afternoon? For naptime?"

"I can do that." He smiled back. "Are you all right?"

"Just a bit tired. A whole lot of debris. Though it's nice the coven has been helping watch the kids so they can banish things when we run into them."

"That is nice of them. Are they baking?"

"A whole lot of older ladies looking forward to grandkids," Xander said dryly. Phil laughed. "How're you doing?"

"All right. It's a bit difficult right now but we're managing it. Would your people accept some agents who were clean but done with all this as watcher trainees?"

"Probably. You'd have to have Giles test them. He's in the Bahamas this week getting Willow out of jail. Her girlfriend started a fight on purpose to break up with her but Willow got all pouty, hurt, and magiced the bar because she was tipsy."

"I'll call him. He could probably use the stress relief. Be safe? Call our parents?"

"I can call later, or have Gray do it so she can stare at the kids. Who were nice earlier but they still tried to coo, pet, and keep a carnivorous demon." He sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Visions suck." He sent a text message to his parents. They called him and he put them within sight of the other tablet. "Dad, don't go to see Sarah yet. She's fine but they're going to get you on the trip. It's a trap."

"I will find another way. Thank you for the warning, son." He smiled. "Are you all right?"

"We're cleaning up the old compound. I have never seen such bad planning, bad storage, and bad ideas before." His mother smiled. "Seriously! Even the coven's done with that stuff. Though they have been inoculating themselves against future grandchildren with yours. They haven't started to bake because we warned them about the sugar issue."

"That's sweet of them, dear. That bad?" Xander held up the same hand with the broken calluses. "Just on the one?" He held up the other, which had burns on it. "What did that?"

"The last thing we banished earlier when it was fighting back. Which the kids wanted to keep as a pet."

"We'll see what we can do to help. I know a few former agents who'd adore being watchers."

"Call Giles, he can test them. He's in the Bahamas because of Willow's breakup while she was tipsy."

"I heard about that incident." She smiled. "Is she all right?"

"Undoing all the newly stuffed animal people." He shook his head with a sigh, rubbing it again. "I swear I'm going to find whoever gives visions and stop them." He took Merlin's phone from him to call. "Frank, me. They're wanting my father, the ones who have her are a trap. It's some of Cooper's former people. There's a device on the doorway in the back. The front has gas grenades, and the chair she's on is a booby trap itself. They meant to hit Dad on his way there and her to make you go nuts. Okay? Thanks." He hung up and handed the phone back, sighing again. "It's been a long day."

"I'm sure it has," his mother said. "Those visions really are unkind, Xander."

"Yup." He nodded. "But at least those two didn't come with brain cramps so bad they caused seizures this time." He smiled. "I just need some tylenol or something." She nodded. "We'll be back in the US in two weeks for an overnight meeting then back here for the next four months. I'm pretty sure I'm going to let Gray do the overnight meeting thing. He's stressed thanks to all the demons hitting on him."

"That's fine, dear. Perhaps we can come over to check on you two." She smiled. "Behave?"

"Yup, and get the idiot behind the camera, Mom. Do you need help?"

"No, dear, of course not." She smiled. "We love you both and you as well, Phil." They hung up.

Phil logged into something on his phone. "Hmm. Yes, they can handle it. Martin's there. He's mildly off but he can handle big things."

Xander smiled and waved a hand. "I blew a poker debt to have someone shadow Mom and Dad over all this until that group is done with. That way they couldn't come after them to get either of us or you, Phil."

"That's sweet of you, Xander. I'll work on getting you some new ordinance. Smaller or larger?"

"Larger. We have a few smaller things but we had to use something huge earlier to get that pet gone."

"I'll see what I can do through SHIELD Europe. Go take a nap." He hung up.

Merlin looked at him. "I'll see what I can dig up as well. We don't have much of that."

"We didn't have a lot but we've used most of it. We still have the huge problem vault to go too." He shrugged. "We'll handle it somehow but remember the kids are yours if something happens to us."

"I'd love the little heathens, you know that." He patted him on the hand. "If I run into one of your former dates, I'll share pictures." He smirked. "Go rest." He got up and left with his tablet.

Xander leaned back, looking around then at the bartender. "In case you guys hadn't heard, the Sunnydale team rebuilt the Council. Me, my twin, Giles, Buffy, and Willow." He stared at the bartender. "You know we don't care about anything peaceful. We're too busy dealing with the old Council's bullshit to get into anyone's face and it's not right if they're peaceful anyway." He gave him a pointed look then stood up to walk over. "For that matter, Buffy's never been a kill them all slayer and she's teaching the new ones that same thing. Including Grace." He smiled slightly. "Never worry about most of us in the *new* Council unless you're an evil shit. Okay?"

"Fine. The vault's not breached?"

"No, it got wrecked in the explosion but something with confining runes fell on top of the rubble. I've uncovered nineteen demons in the last two days with my twin and the Coven helping." He stared at him. "Also, we have the kids with us." He grinned. "You can come to us with problems. We handle problems. We're kinda missing solving problems and traveling right now with how nasty that mess is." He put down his card and Gray's card. "The phone thing'll be fixed tomorrow."

"That's fine then. Lots of people hate the Council."

"So do I. Especially since they wanted to kill me for stepping in to help Buffy." He grinned. "We cheered when Travers blew up. Giles misses a few of his former friends but we're not like them. If we find them doing the things the old way, we stomp their asses." He patted him on the hand. "We're the same knights that stopped that problem in Balthazar's home town last year," he said quietly.

"We heard," he said with a wince.

"We didn't take him out for that."

"We heard," he repeated. "Thank you, Knight. We won't worry about you or the kids. Though they're adorable and wanted by some to make you swear allegiance."

"I only swear allegiance to my brothers, my kids, doing what's right, and my artillery. Plus my pretty battle axe." He smiled. "Otherwise...." He laughed. "That depends on what's needed."

The bartender smiled. "Okay. You good?"

"I have to go back to the seven hyper, pouty kids. I'm hoping Gray got them to bed." He left, going back to the campers. "Please tell me you cooked?" he begged as he walked into the tent area between the two joined campers.

"Nope. Had to deal with the demon that tried to attack the kids." Gray handed over the bottle of beer. "You eat?"

"No. Talked to Mom and Phil."

Gray shook his head with a sigh. "Do we need to help?"

"Hopefully not. I had two mini visions but little pain." He flopped down to sit and relax. "They pouting in bed?"

"Hell yes."

"Good. Thanks." They settled in to relax for a few hours. Then they'd have to change diapers, deal with paperwork, and then get up to do it all again tomorrow.

***

Gray was coming back from the overnight meeting in the US, limping all the way and bandaged heavily. He ran into one of their past dates in the airport and nodded at him.

"Gray?" he asked. "What happened?"

"We had an update meeting with Giles about the clean up of the old compound." He yawned then rubbed his jaw. "The demon that attacked lost and the humans that tried next didn't fare much better but I damn sure ache."

"You poor thing. Where's your twin?"

He smirked. "The kids."

"Poor man. Come along. I'll get you seen to and cleaned up, dear." He patted his hand as he helped him walk off. "Bags?"

"Don't I have my carry on?" He looked then pointed. "Carry on. Much simpler."

"That's always a good idea anyway. It means they can't lose your bags." Gray nodded, leaning on him as he yawned again. "Napped on the plane?"

"I tried so hard but the nice lady next to me kept poking me with a knitting needle for some reason."

"She probably decided that was flirting," he said with a smile.

"Could be. Some of her yarn did have blood on it." He yawned again. "Ow." His friend checked, feeling gently on his jaw. "Ow."

"Sorry. Right to a doctor instead of to lunch."

"Food?" he asked. "I can be sore for food."

"We'll get you something on the way to the doctor's." He looked at his bodyguard, who nodded that was fine with him and he could arrange it. He sent a minion to get a burger from the McDonald's up the alley. Gray moaned and hugged the minion, nearly inhaling the food as they walked. "I'll make sure Xander knows you're staying in town tonight to heal." They got to the rented limo and in, going right to the doctor he had researched. She moaned when she saw Gray, taking him in to deal with his injuries. Then they went to nap with cuddling and dinner. Then that night, Gray got to wear out some stress with the very squealy arms dealer.

***

Xander looked up as the local sheriff or whatever they were called walked into the room he and the kids were in. "Problems?"

"You're really Council?"

"*New* Council. We rebuilt it the right way."

"The one we called said you weren't."

"Hmm." He took his phone to dial. "Sonya," he said, putting it on speaker. "Who's there that answered the phone for the officer?"

"Um, I think Kennedy answered, Xander. Hold on, Buffy's here. Buffy, it's Xander."

"What happened! Kennedy said you got arrested!"

"For blowing up the assholes who were trying to snatch the kids," Xander said dryly. "Dirty agents."

"Wonderful!" she sneered. "Are the kids okay?"

"Yeah, we're all fine. The kids cheered me on. Toby got a slight scratch when one tried to grab him but he bit the guy back. The officer here needs to ask you a few questions."

"Yeah, that's fine. Officer, I'm the senior slayer Buffy. Xander's our normal guy with his twin."

"Why were they after him?"

"HYDRA," Xander said simply. "We helped find out that they still exist and were infecting a bunch of intelligence agencies. Including wanting to take out my parents, who used to work for one of those places."

"Oh, dear. Are you safe?"

"Yeah. Most of the time." He looked at the napping kids then at him again. "Dumbasses should've realized. We were in Africa for two years handling problems and nothing as nice as they were. Hell, my twin and I took out a full blown invasion at one point. No slayers, no military for an hour, us." The officer stepped back. "Apparently they didn't do their homework."

"You did what?" Buffy demanded. "I didn't hear about that."

"Duh," he snapped back. "Because you'd bitch about us being normal or my single eye."

"You're getting it when I find you again."

"Uh-huh. Watch me start setting you up with some of our dates."

"Ewww, gay dangerous guys. Find me a straight one at least, Xander."

"That's why there's bi people," Xander quipped.

"Point, but I still don't want to know if they compare. Anya shared *way* too much for me to want to wonder."

Xander rolled his eye as he leaned back. "As you can tell I am part of the Council."

"Yeah, I can tell," the officer said.

"Giles, some agent guys attacked Xander and the kids," she called. "He's under arrest."

"Not totally," Xander corrected. "We're just talking right now. Thankfully Gray's back somewhere in London so he can get the kids."

"Good," Giles said. "What happened?"

"HYDRA agents. One of them actually demanded that I start crying like a normal hostage, Giles. They did not do their homework at all. They had no idea about who I really am."

"Oh, dear. You lost your temper?"

"Oh so beautifully. I even had my axe baby. The agents sneered at my baby until a few ended up parts. Teach them to sneer at the beauty of my baby axe."

Giles cleared his throat. "Officer, his temper's still a bit high. Is he being charged?"

"We're not sure. We can see the self defense but he did make a rather big mess."

"He tends to go a bit toward berserker, Constable. But only when he's outnumbered or the children are in danger."

"Clearly," he said. "All right, let me tell my higher ups. Can you hold on for a minute?"

"Unless someone else turns off my phone," Xander quipped. "The kids are napping so that's fine."

"Sure." He went to tell the listening higher ups. They agreed that the guy had been in extreme stress with the kids there. He came back. "Do you know who any of those agents were?"

"The one that managed to drive off before that demon swallowed him was named Grant Ward. That's how we found out about HYDRA still being around. He had been SHIELD. So is my big brother."

"That's fine. Your twin?"

"No, my twin and I work together. We're the training team in Africa." He smiled. "We love our minis. They're such little hellions at times."

"I'm sure. So are my own kids."

Xander looked then pointed at one. "That one tried to keep a carnivorous demon as a pet." The constable smiled and shook his head. "Yeah. Had to have the coven distract them so we could handle it." His twin was let in. Xander stood up. "What the hell happened to you?"

"HYDRA tried to attack the meeting. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. HYDRA tried to get me down as a hostage. One even suggested I should start crying like a typical hostage."

"Fuck 'em. I say I call in a poker debt to eat the rest of them since they tried Mom to get Phil."

"They okay?" he asked, sitting down.

"Yeah. I checked when I was in New York. They're fine. Sarah's fine. The visions helped. Mom's mad at them."

"Let me know if I can help?"

Gray hugged him. "Of course we can help." He smirked at the constable. "Is my twin in trouble or should I take the kids to make them nap?"

"You can both go with the kids. We've decided that was self defense. Are you all right?"

"I'm aching and really pissed at them," Gray said with a smirk. "Fortunately I ran into a date last night. He was so nice. He even got me another piece of artillery for the next huge demon we uncover in the old building."

"I had no idea they had that many stored," Giles said. "Sorry, boys."

"It's okay. We've been making Grace do her lessons while she babysits by reading them to the kids and the coven's helped too. Apparently the nun at her school who thinks the Russians were working with Martians during the Cold War, so therefore Satan had to step in to save humanity by taking over as Kennedy, is still there. She kept herself from being expelled by taping said nun. Her mother's not amused at the nun either."

"We had one like that a few years back," the constable said. "She got expelled from the parish."

"Maybe it's the same one," Gray said. "Grace is under suspension for summoning a harmless imp to get the teacher to run away and leave them alone when she screamed about some girl starting her period unexpectedly."

"I'll call Grace's mother later," Giles sighed. "Thankfully the rest of the slayers are at the fallbacks outside of Buffy and Kennedy here and apparently Merideth."

"My mother sent me. Someone came to the door and told her I was in danger. So I fell back to here," she quipped. "Hi, guys."

"Hey, Merry," Xander said. "You should go be safe."

"I'll go with Buffy. I'm seventeen. I can handle patrol."

"Merry, these are dirty agents who believe in restructuring humanity so the racists are on top," Gray said. "They nearly took me out, they tried to grab Xander and the kids earlier. Tried to grab our mom, and she's a goddess of intelligence work. You're seventeen and we'd love for you to make twenty."

"Yes, guys. I'll go when I can."

"Thank you for having sense, Merry. Buffy, Kennedy, we should remove you two as well for your own safety."

"They come here, I'm calling a poker debt," Buffy called. "Or Willow."

"Don't make us come put her down," Xander warned. "Hiding, much better."

"Fine. Whatever."

"Thanks. Have a better day, guys." He hung up.

"Go ahead back to your camp, guys." They left together with the kids. Thankfully Xander had grabbed the stroller. They left together, getting dinner and beers for later. The kids woke up long enough to beg. A lot. Toby's pitiful sniffling got him candy from someone else. The parents were amused but they'd handle it later.

***

The demon that had swallowed Grant Ward coughed him up, watching as he choked and spluttered while trying to get to his feet. "My Queen, the tainted one for you. Some of his people wanted to make deals and I knew you needed more minions."

She smiled, coming down to look him over. "It is an interesting proposition. We'll have to see how well he proves his worth to me." She patted the demon on the head. "Very nicely done, dear. Thank you for sparing those twins work." He beamed and bowed then left. She smiled at the human. "Yes, you will have to prove your worth and then we'll listen to your demands and wishes." She strolled off. "Follow." He did, still trying to get the demon spit off him.

***

An officer came up to the blended family the next night. "Are you guys gypsies?" he demanded.

"No, we're Americans," Gray said, smiling at him. "We're camping because we're cleaning up this mess. If anything gets out of the rubble it'd be up to us to stop it."

"Oh." He scowled. "So you're watchers then?"

"New Council," Xander said, coming out with a dishtowel over his shoulder. "We rebuilt it after the First Evil blew it up. We made a lot of changes to protect the girls and others." He stared at him. "Frankly, we camp because we're the training team for Africa." The officer walked off shuddering. "Have a nice night, Officer." He went back to the dishes since it was his turn.

Gray shook his head, looking back at the kids all curled up together in his camper. They were nicely sleeping but one was crapping so he got up to change them then came back out to relax. They were still sore from the last few demons of the day. Grace was asleep in Xander's camper to get away from the kids for a bit. The coven would be back in the morning, they had a motel room in town. So it was him and his twin, and the ringing phone. "Hey," he said.

"What did you two do when you met Phil?" Ivan asked.

"Well, there was only me then," Xander admitted. "We sat down in a bar to have a beer. I had found the files because I got nagged into helping the adoptive parents clean out shit to burn and sell. A lot of that was literal by the way. She had stool samples she had saved." Ivan groaned. "So I had a poker buddy interpret some of the file for me and had them find Phil for me. I casually ran into him one weekend and started with 'you're my big brother'. He thought I was talking about some sort of big brother/big sister program until I showed him the file. Then we had a drink. He understood fully why I wasn't looking for you guys to protect you. He does the same thing."

"He does. But you two got along well?"

"I think he went back to his hotel room and swore about demons but otherwise yeah. Did he say differently?"

"He said he was upset about them making you but he did indeed swear about the demons. He was very peeved at the people who made you, he said he went looking for them but most had been moved."

"Yeah, they moved them to Surrey. We found the same people were the ones who made the kids."

"Wonderful," Ivan said. "Have you two really sat down and talked since then?"

"Yup. Just before we left for Africa and he went to New Mexico, we sat and talked about things. He was complaining about the baby agents. We complained about the slayers. He decided we had it worse. Then had most of a glass of beer while thanking God his agents weren't teenage girls who wanted to shop."

"Probably because of eighteen girls in a house with one bathroom," Gray added.

Ivan laughed. "I can see why. The slayers are a bit bouncy and young. Full of energy."

"Yup, and they all think we're normal," Gray said dryly. Their father laughed again, but he had to know how that went. He had women around him who underestimated him too.

***

Merlin, Arthur, and Phil were meeting, though Phil was in his command plane hiding from his former team. The video conference was a nice thing to have. It let Phil hide safely away from someone like Steve Rogers kicking his ass for being alive. "How are you going to train the younger agents in how to handle demon emergencies?" Arthur asked.

"Easy, we test the methods on a certain brash young lad that gets along well with them already," Merlin said. "I adore the twins for the chaos they bring but Eggsy should be able to handle them better. They can train him. They might even train a few of the others if we ask."

Arthur considered it then nodded. "Suggest it to the twins."

"Make them think it's their idea," Phil said. "They would if you asked but that way they get some sneaky thinking time. Are we tracking who they date?"

"Hell. Yes," Merlin complained. "Already had one show up. Thankfully we had warrants for her so we got her before she got them. The kids might warp her too hard."

Phil smiled. "The kids are little hellions but they're sweet about it," he said. "Made Mom totally quit nagging me twice in a day."

"I was listening to that," Merlin taunted with a smirk for him. "I recorded it for later laughter."

"That's nice of you."

"Also, the boys reminded their boss of you."

Phil looked up and sighed, shaking his head. "Did they remind him of you too?"

"Not yet, lad." He smirked a bit more evilly. "I'm sure they will."

Arthur shook his head. "Wonderful. Do we know this bloke?"

"Met him in college," Merlin said.

"I was on break from my first bout of training in the Marines," Phil said. "He was fun."

Arthur sighed, looking at Merlin. "He was fun," he agreed. "Back then he was still wrapped up in black magic too."

"I don't need to know," Arthur ordered. "We do not like magic."

"Neither do I, but I can't ignore it too often with the way the witches pick on my brothers," Phil said.

Arthur shook his head. "Back to the topic at hand, boys. How do we get someone trained to handle demon things?"

"We let the twins do it. They're good at it," Merlin said. "The girls in Africa are some of the strongest slayers. Even the babies one."

Phil nodded. "The ones from the US are a bit spoiled. Have we sent any former agents or agent trainees over?"

"I'm gathering six together to offer for them," Merlin said. "You?"

"Sixteen agents who wanted out of the hell that's coming. Only one was HYDRA."

"Wonderful. Did we ever find out how much of SHIELD was compromised?" Arthur asked blandly.

"Eighty percent and they've tried to get into the specialty weapons vaults. Thankfully we had those moved," Phil said with a smile. "Nick was very surprised at that."

"I think he's still amazed at his living self," Merlin said. "Your mother wouldn't normally leave a living victim."

"He's too important right now. Then she'll take him out. Though Nick has threatened me to be his heir to SHIELD."

Arthur shook his head. "It'll drive you nuts, Phil. It does me. I definitely didn't want this after I got out of the hospital."

"Shut up, Harry."

"Fine, Merlin."

"I'll suggest the twins try to do some training with the agents you guys have. Clint could probably use some too," Phil said, smiling at them. "That would protect them." He sent a text message to his little brothers. They agreed it might help but they were exhausted because of that building full of hell. "Hmm. That building had a lot of issues?"

"From what we've heard, they've found so many loosed demons they can rebuild hell," Merlin said. "The coven's been helping."

"Great." They shared a look and Phil smiled. "Clint's not busy." He sent him a text message about going to help the twins deal with all the demons. His 'please don't make me do that' back made him grin. "Awww."

***

The twins looked up from their date, smiling at the saving guy walking towards them. "We need to check on the kids."

"They're fine with my guard," the man huffed.

Xander looked at him. "Your guard has never seen a kid, much less changed a diaper." He got glared at. "Your choice, dude. We can check on them or we can have a huge problem."

"They've already got problems. I had to save the kids from a female that wanted to coo over them, boys." The bad guy glared at him. Clint Barton stared back. "My boss said to come find his little brothers."

"Who had them?" Gray asked, sipping his water. This food was grossly hot and mealy. It was like eating hot pepper mush. "Why can't they use flavors other than hot?" he complained quietly. He ate some bread, looking at Clint. He held up a picture.

"Oh, damn it, Sylvia's out." The bad guy shuddered, shrinking down. "We can go get her off the kids. She did want to adopt them."

Xander nodded, finishing his water. "Sorry, Billy. We've got to save the kids before they become evil. We'll try to save Greggory too." They got up and left with Clint, going to save their kids from everyone. As it turned out, Sylvia was crying in the corner, Greggory was huffing in another one, and Eggsy had the kids. "What happened?"

"Was tracking her," he said with a point at the woman. "She really adores the kids. Brought 'em candy."

"Yeah, she wanted to adopt them," Xander said, looking at Greggory. "That restaurant's food was just hot, not good," he said quietly.

"I'll watch out when I get the leftovers, Xander." He gave him a hug. "Some day I'll make the boss quit stalking you so I can steal you from him." He took kisses. "I had no idea how to handle the diapers though so it'll be after they're potty trained." He left.

Sylvia snorted. "Weak. I should train him better."

"He's actually a financial genius," Gray told her. "His boss isn't using him right but Greggory is our financial advisor."

"He does our savings and potential retirement account," Xander agreed with a smile. "What else did you bring the kids since I can see an insulated bag."

"I found someone had some of your blood. It's been properly stored," she said, standing up and coming over. The boys hugged her. "I got the nasty little germ doc back for you."

"How did he get some of our blood?" Gray demanded, cuddling her.

"His notes didn't say beyond it being handed over for testing." They kissed her. She smiled at the kid that had just swatted her. "I'm nice to you guys."

"You bad girl," Sascha said, blinking up at her. "Daddy need good girl who plays."

"Yes he does but girls like me think he's like candy." She hugged the baby. "Let me disappear before the *archer* had a fit," she huffed.

"He works with our big brother," Xander said with a smile.

She stared at him then at Clint then back at the twins. "Your big brother's an avenger?"

"No, our big brother's Coulson," Gray said. She whimpered, shaking her head.

"Which is why I'm here," Clint said dryly.

"Well, I'll gladly run and hide from him. I know he doesn't love me. I'll state my case better so he gets to know me better." She strolled off, pinching Clint's cheek on the way. "You're adorable and you would look very hot with the twins."

"I'm steaming hot without the twins. With them we'd break the thermometer."

She moaned. "Yes, you would." She got into her car and drove off.

Eggys handed over the kid he was calming down. "Let me follow her."

"She always stays at the Savoy," Gray said. "One of the butler-like guys they have is a distant cousin. It lets her hear family gossip."

"Good ta know. Thanks." He left smiling but shaking his head.

Clint looked at the twins. "Phil said to come get you guys to teach me how to handle demons."

"We can do that. There's been plenty in the building," Gray said, going to his camper. "Let me get diapers."

"Sure," Xander agreed, looking at butts. "Someone needs to go potty." He pointed. The bigger kids ran for them and one had to change. "Accidents happen," he said, hugging that one. "We know accidents happen. It's all right. Try harder next time." He nodded, pouting some. He got one of the babies to cuddle until they changed her. Then he stole her back to sit down and cuddle and babble at.

Clint grinned. "They're good kids."

"They try really hard," Gray assured him. The kids finally got put down and they came out with their hunting packs. "I'm sure you've seen some of these. Find something you don't know and we can teach you about it then run a short sword tutorial."

Clint got into the packs, finding something he didn't understand. They went over how you used them to pack speciality holy water hand grenades. It was something important he could use elsewhere.

***

Eggsy got sent back to the twins the next day. "Merlin said I had to learn how to handle demons."

Gray smirked at him. "No matter how much flippy running stuff you can do, fighting demons takes stamina. Lots and lots of stamina."

"The two battles I helped with were long," he agreed. "I handled it okay."

Gray snickered, shaking his head. "Both were really short battles because we had artillery. We've had battles that were seven hours straight." Eggsy winced, nodding some. "And most of them are strong and faster so the flippy stuff won't always help."

"Good ta know." He settled beside him. "Are we hanging out today?"

"No, we're waiting on the witches to come back from crying over their member that got injured before we do more than taunt the demon trying to get out of the rubble." He pointed at the snout sticking out. "He's a people eater and took a nibble of a witch's ankle while we were handling his mom, who had been trapped while pregnant. We haven't even gotten near the bad vault yet but we've had a lot of them so far. So we're expecting the vault to be like when we walked into the hellmouth to do battle with the First Evil." Xander came back with drinks for them from town. "The witches okay?"

"Yeah. She'll be fine. They can't rebuild the missing parts but it didn't interfere with the bone so it should heal. Eventually." He flopped down, taking the babies to cuddle. "Are we missing one?" He pointed at the toddler that was trying to climb Eggsy to get his hat. "Toby, be nice."

"He's fine," Eggsy said. "How did you two build the stamina?"

"We jumped in," Gray said. "We made Buffy take us on patrol when our best friend and near soul piece got taken and kept going until that thing was dead, then had to keep going because one little, blonde thing shouldn't do it on her own."

Xander nodded. "We built it through that, construction work because we used to, and patrol. Plus Anya." He grinned. "She was a great stamina builder."

"Try to date a nympho once. You'll figure out a lot of where your boundaries in bed are," Gray agreed. "She wanted some freaky stuff we had to disagree existed."

Eggsy smiled, nodding. "Good ta know."

"We nearly married that nympho," Xander added. "Left her at the altar for her own good."

"So she got her vengeance demon job back for a bit." The demon trying to get free whimpered. "Is there a way we can release it without it eating the locals?" he asked Xander.

"Not that I've noted. I called Giles and he said not that he knows of but he'll look. It's still a baby and I feel weird about that too." Clint strolled over after getting out of his rental jeep. "The witches back at the hotel?"

"They'll be back tonight. They thought you could handle this one yourselves."

"Probably but it's a baby and we'd like to banish it instead of killing it," Xander said.

"Can you do that without help?"

"Yeah but magic goes weird around us," Gray admitted. "Willow's especially." He pointed at her. "Clint, young dude, this is Willow Rosenburg." They both waved and Eggsy took off his hat to let Toby have it. The baby squealed and babbled, putting it on his head. "You look very cute, Toby."

Toby grinned, cuddling the spoiling one. "Candy?" he asked with a hopeful, begging pout.

"Not a bit. Sorry." He grinned back. "I'm not allowed ta have any."

"Shit."

"Excuse you?" Xander demanded. "Who taught you that word?"

Toby beamed at him. "Uncle Frank!" He ran off with the hat to show the others.

"Shit is a bad word," Gray called after him. "You can't say those until you're old enough to hunt demons yourself."

"Yes, Big brover," one of the other toddlers called. "Hatty!" She smiled. "Pretty hatty."

"Yeah, it is," Eggsy said with a smile back. "You guys can borrow it for now." They cooed and played with the hat like it was a stuffed animal. Only one tried to put it on. He looked up. "Think you can banish that one demon?"

"I'm hoping I can," she complained. They pointed at the snout. She bent over to look at it. "Don't look at my butt."

"You're not my type," Clint assured her with a smile. "I date assassins, Rosenburg."

"That's weird, and so do the twins." She got to her knees, looking at the demon. "Aww, it's a baby."

"That's why we wanted to banish it instead of killing it like we had to do the mommy when it tried to eat a witch," Xander said. "There's a few Pergols in there too. I can hear the furry pouting noise because they're being sat on."

"Can we lift this?" Willow asked, pointing at the collapsed ceiling part.

"Sure, but if it comes out, don't let it eat anyone," Xander said, him and Gray coming over to move it for her. They got out of the way. The baby demon whined at them, letting them pet it. "I know, little guy. We'll send you to someone who can pet you. Okay? Let Willow do that." A group of self-propelled furry balls rolled out. "Freeze!" he ordered. The demons all froze and uncurled to stare at him. "Don't go near those kids. I will kill your whole clan." They pouted and came back. One tried to scoot closer to Clint.

"I have no idea what to do with you guys. I'm used to dogs and cats, not balls of fur." That one lapped him so he patted it. "Thanks. Really." It rolled back when Gray walked over. "Poisonous?"

"No, just spit." He went back to help Xander set up for Willow out of the supplies they had rescued from the first few buildings. Then they disappeared through a portal Willow opened. "It's a baby," Gray called with a wave. "We didn't want to kill it." The portal snapped shut and they sighed. Willow looked, floating some of the stuff out of their way. That exposed a huge demon. "Hmm," Gray said, looking at Xander.

Xander sighed. "Get the kids inside the campers, guys. There's protections on it. Get the witches out here."

"I can handle it," Willow pouted.

The twins stared at her. "I've seen it take more than a coven," Xander told her. "Guys, now. Bring axes or swords. It's your first lesson." They got the kids inside and came out with swords. Xander took their special axes from Eggsy. "Thanks. They're our babies." They got a spare sword for Willow, who huffed. The demon was laughing. Then something small, that looked like a blob of jell-o rolled up it and over it, suffocating it. That demon died and Willow whined, staring at the mess. "Burn it," Xander told her. She set it on fire. Another jell-o ball came out. "Guys, change of plans. Napalm." He ran back to get it and threw it at the demons as the others backed off. It was nice the jell-o looking demon ate a few more before another huge one appeared. Xander looked at it. "What?" he demanded.

"You're fun."

"No we're not," Gray said. "Sorry."

"You don't have any artillery," he said smugly. "I can capture you. With your reputations, I'll gain much status."

"People killed big things for centuries with a blade," Clint said.

"Awww." It squinted at him. "Aren't you one of those costumed ones?"

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me I have explosive arrows."

The demon snorted. "Won't work against me." It stomped on the remaining jell-o cubes. "Those are tasty. I'll have a snack after I've tied you up."

Xander and Gray shared a look then back at the two trainees and Willow. "Beheader," Gray said. The other two nodded. Willow grimaced. "No slayers, so we gotta," he reminded her.

"Yay. I can magic it." The demon burst out laughing, shaking his head while showing off a protection amulet. "Well, shoot, I'll have to destroy that first."

The twins sighed and looked at each other then nodded. "The kids go to Merlin if we die," Xander noted. They lunged in and took on the demon. It was still laughing but batting at them. Until it lost a hand thanks to the twins. Clint and Eggsy jumped in to help. Swords weren't exactly point and shoot but it was pretty self explanatory if you've handled anything like a staff weapon or a wood chopping axe. They could get the finer points down later.

As long as they survived.

***

"Nineteen hours," Eggsy moaned, flopping down when the demon finally died. "Who has the kids?"

"I called a witch to come out to help," Willow moaned from her spot. The demon had batted her on the head.

Clint was gulping air, holding his right arm. It had a not-deep but pretty long cut. He had bruises in other areas. So did Eggsy.

The twins hadn't quite flopped down but they weren't all that happy either.

"We have to burn it," Xander said. "Don't you dare, Willow. The concussion will throw off your aim and I'll kill you if you get the campers or the kids."

"I can't magic enough for that anyway," she moaned. "I don't get migraines."

"Sweetheart, that's a concussion," Clint quipped. "I've had a few myself."

The elder witch of the coven stepped over the parts to look at them. "We can burn it for you."

"Please," the twins begged.

"Of course, boys. Willow, let's get you and the older pretty boy to the ER."

"I'm good," Clint said. "I can stitch it myself."

"We do the same thing," the twins said in unison.

Eggsy looked at them. "I'm not that bad yet but I'm only sore and bruised, ma'am."

"Good boy." She smiled. "First battle?"

"With a sword," he said.

"You'll learn, dear." She helped Willow up, holding her while she puked. "That's expected." The younger girl was starting to cry. Thankfully an ambulance was showing up. "She's got a concussion."

"Probably some magic exhaustion too," Gray said with a wave. "We have to burn the demon."

The paramedics looked at the mess then at the witch. "How many demons was that?"

"One really large one and two minions that tried to interfere to help us from another one that the really big one ripped up," Xander said, flopping backwards with a sigh. "Are the kids okay?"

"They're back at the hotel with the rest of the girls," the elder witch said. "Most of us have had kids, and the few that haven't are doing their yearly torture. They are darling children, boys." The twins grinned at her. "They also certainly love jelly worms." She smirked as she walked over to the other two. "This one's got a large cut on his arm."

"I've done my own stitches before," Clint said. "I'm a good agent that way."

"Boyo, don't make our A&E staff pout. They're meaner when they pout," the paramedic said, helping him up. "We can give you fluids too. That way you recover sooner." He looked at Eggsy, who was barely awake. "You need fluids too probably."

He shook his head. "I know how to use gatorade." He looked at him. "I'm not posh that way. A&E is for somefing contagious."

"Not in this town now that the old Council's down."

"We rebuilt it a lot better," Xander quipped. "Also fair to the girls."

"Good," the paramedics said. "You two need fluids?"

"We have seven kids we have to get back to before the witches spoil them," Gray said. "Nope. We've had worse." He sat up, hauling Xander up. Xander blinked a few times, then removed the fake eye to wipe on his shirt.

"Eww," Clint said.

Xander shrugged. "It has goo on it." He popped it back in.

"Backwards," Eggsy said.

He took it out and turned it around then put it back in. "Better?" They all nodded. "Then we're good. Let's burn this sucker then we'll go rescue our kids." He stood up with a moan. Gray got helped up by the elder witch then they moved to gather parts so they could burn it.

"What about our fire people doin' it?" one of the paramedics said. "They can do that and probably could use the controlled burn practice."

"Then someone's house'll burn down and they'll be here," Gray said. "Besides, we're used to this part." They piled everything together and the witch set the fire for them. "There, better. Let's go save the kids from the sugar high." The witch laughed but led them off.

"I'll pick up some gatorade, yeah?" Eggsy called after them.

"Rest, we'll pick some up since we'll be in town," Xander said, smiling at him. "Not bad for your third battle. Use the system in my camper to call in and complain." He got into the witch's rental, heading into town with her. They could figure out how to get all the kids back in a few minutes. They did stop to get some refreshing things while the witches gathered the kids to each bring back a few of them. They ran in to hug Eggsy and then went to bed because big brothers were tired.

Eggsy managed to save his hat once they were down, putting it back on. Merlin smirked at him from the screen. "Nineteen hours," he said. "I need more stamina work and stuff for the newly broken blisters on my hands."

"I'll send you some. Clint? Phil will want to know."

"Got dragged to A&E for a large claw cut."

"Good. You better?"

"Not yet." He took the bottle of gatorade. "Thanks, brov." He gulped it and accepted the second. "How many are that long?"

"About every third one," Xander admitted with a grimace. "Unless we have artillery." He went to tuck everyone in. Gray flopped down, nibbling on a microwave burrito. Eggsy hung up and got his own burrito to nuke then sat down to talk to them about training for those things. Stamina and adrenaline only carried you so far.

***

Clint called Phil once he was back in his jeep and on the way back to the camp. He stared at the tiny picture. "Your brothers are insane. They need more artillery too."

"What happened?" he asked, smirking slightly.

"A huge demon appeared to try to claim them. After nineteen hours of using a sword..."

"Excuse me?"

"We used one for about fifteen of those hours. Napalm a few other times. Once we even got to use guns."

"Uh-huh. I see. Are you all right?" Clint shifted the phone so he could see the bandage. "That's it?"

"On me. Galahad's seriously exhausted but managed to parkour out of the way of the claws until he exhausted himself." He stared at him. "I need more stamina work or I need to date a girl like Anya had been to gain it that way."

Phil nodded once. "Tell my little brothers to call me to see what they need?"

"I can do that. I want to start carrying around artillery too."

"I'll see what I can do to allow that," Phil said dryly. "Are you all right otherwise?"

"I desperately need to curl up and sleep then eat a ton of food. I'm about to hit the store to pick that up for the morning. The twins are letting me have a couch in a camper."

"That's fine. Have them call me." Clint nodded, hanging up. Phil groaned, shaking his head, nearly hitting it on a wall. His brothers needed to slow down before they got killed.

Clint stopped at the store then drove back to the camp, getting out with the three bags of food. "So I can cook breakfast," he said in greeting.

Gray smiled. "Use the couch in mine, Clint. He's out on that one." Clint nodded, going over there. Of course, the kids were over there so they snuck out later on to cuddle around him. It was great. Even though Natasha took a photo of it as he found out when he woke up.

***

Natasha looked up as Clint came out with a pot full of eggs, sausage, and cheese, smiling at the younger spy's sudden alertness for food. "Eat, boys. You all need to eat." The kids came over to eat too. They all got some, settling down to eat on the blankets the witches had spread out.

"This is good. I need ta remember this," Eggsy said, inhaling more.

The twins nodded. "It's hungry guy who can kinda cook food," Xander agreed.

"You two can cook?" Natasha asked.

Gray smiled. "We had some fast food and other jobs where cooking was necessary. Including at a strip club." Eggsy looked at them oddly. "We were doing the kitchen job until someone needed us to fill in one night. That's how we met Frank and Martin, after our date of the night took us out for a real dinner."

"Our car had exploded just after we started our great post-grad roadtrip," Xander told him. "It was that or fast food. The club's kitchen job paid better and no one ever suggested I try blowing anyone. I just drew all the psychos, who nicely tipped us." He and his twin grinned. "We actually sucked highly at the stripping."

"That's so weird," Natasha sighed, shaking her head. "Does your brother know?"

"Yup. He found footage of it on someone's computer," Gray said with a shrug. "We know we only date the semi-bad boys and girls of the universe. That's why he investigated that agent and found out he was dirty."

"And the occasional serial killer," Xander added, frowning a tiny bit before eating another bite.

Clint looked at them. "Phil hates that, right?" They nodded. "Good to know."

"S'why I ended up helping the kids that one night. I was followin' one of 'em for Merlin," Eggsy said. Then he ate another bite.

Natasha smiled. "We did appreciate the way he did things. Very nice compared to our own training."

Clint nodded. "Much nicer than some of ours." Eggsy stared at them, looking confused. "Natasha's was a 'you survive, you graduate' group."

"Oh, shite," he said, staring at her. "Wow."

She shrugged. "They were a bad idea after the first world war."

"That sucks," Eggsy said. "Merlin just taunted us and made us think we were gonna die. Do others know about them?"

"They were stopped," she assured him.

He nodded. "Good! Otherwise I'd volunteer ta help you stop 'em."

She smiled. "You're sweet."

"Not really, but that's just wrong."

"In many ways," she promised. Xander leaned over to hug her. "I do not hug," she warned.

"Of course you do. You're female and it helps." He smiled at her. "Also, I'm getting the snake." He held it up before sitting up. "It's a messenger snake."

Gray took it to shake until it turned back into a roll of paper. "The witches are off today. That one's got an infection from the bite, they're all exhausted, and it's our day off as well according to them and Giles. So we can teach them the laundry stuff that works on goo." The twins shrugged at each other, then dug back into brunch. The kids wandered off. "Stay with us. We don't want something to eat you or adopt you."

Eggsy looked. "One of the babes is missing." The twins hopped up to find them. They were cooing at a small vase.

Xander took the vase to look at then sighed. "Someone grab the holy water out of my gear." Clint got it and they got to depossess the baby. It made her pout but sorry. The demon left in the vase howled in frustration when Gray took it to break it so the demon was killed. They corralled the kids better and settled in again.

Natasha was filming all that. Phil would be amused.

***

Victoria got the film from her older son, staring at the baby being exorcized. "The twins need to find a different field," she decided. The report on the battle was attached for her to swear at. "Ivan, we need to make the twins find a more sane field."

He came out of the study to stare over her shoulder. "The baby was possessed?"

"Apparently. This was the day after a battle." She let him see that report.

"That is not something I want to ever experience." He kissed her. "We will talk to them about doing less insane things but I'm sure that wasn't their first battle." He went to complain to the walls in his study. "It had to be where those drunks raised them," he called finally.

"It certainly wasn't our DNA," she agreed. "Pity they're dead."

He came to the doorway of the study. "Yes, it is." He smiled. "The others who knew are mostly gone as well but there are two researchers. They were involved in that group the boys ran into and helped stop with their team."

She smiled. "That's very nice to know, dear. Are they available?"

"Not yet. They can be though."

"Let me get changed." He smiled and went to do the same thing. It was good to have a road trip. They might even tell Frank and Sarah to get some help. They did so love road trips as well. Frank had been saying he was bored.

***

The twins looked at their students/helpers, grinning at them.

Clint stared back. "If you say we have to blow the old building we'd be pleased."

"So would we," Gray agreed. "But there's antiques. We need to go back to gathering through the mess. The insurance people demanded."

Xander handed over snap lights. "There's huge cavities of the library to go too. We'll do that in case any of the books are possessed. Wear gloves, guys." They sighed but nodded, getting in there. He and Gray went to do the library that was remaining. The witches were packing things for them. Nice, easy, safe work.

It only took ten minutes for Clint to run into a demon. Then he had to run from the building, letting the witches handle it. They banished it for him. Clint pouted, going back in there.

Then the twins ran into the huge problem. "Fuck!" Xander shouted. "Evacuate! Move the campers too!" They all ran out and moved the campers with the witches' help. The twins looked at the witches. "You never told us the vault had a secondary backup?" he asked dryly.

"There is?" one asked, looking at the elder witch.

"There's the research area. That was in the basement." In the rubble, an extra large demon was disturbing the debris as it climbed out.

"That wasn't the basement. It was in the library," Xander said. He called. "It's us. What huge demon was stored in the library?" He listened. "They stored what?" he demanded. "Excuse me? Who was that damn fucking stupid, Rupert?" He listened to him complain. "Yeah, and it broke," he said dryly. "We were just gathering the stuff the insurance people demanded we try to save in the library area." He stared at the demon. "Rupert said you got stored by someone stupid."

"Well, yes," the demon agreed in Latin. "It was rather stupid of them to capture me and put me in glass."

Gray shook his head with a sigh, looking at the witches. They were talking about the demon. "Can we banish it?" he asked.

"No," they said together. "It has to be killed to be sent off."

Xander looked at the demon. "Can you send yourself off? I don't want to have to spend the day in the ER away from the kids."

"Not hardly. I don't use magic, lad."

The twins shared a look then sighed. "Do you have a proper name so we can look you up really fast? Giles isn't sure which one you are."

"My sister got destroyed, lad."

"It's the male of the two. Still confusing him, dude. Name?"

"They called me Bueareguard. They didn't know how to spell it since it's an American name."

"They called him Bueareguard. With misspelled name due to us being Americans." He listened to him splutter. "Banishing, Giles?" He groaned, looking up. He smiled and waved at the flying thing. "Fairy guard, do you guys know how to banish him?" he asked politely. "We'd really like not to abandon our adopted children to killing him."

The fairy guard shrugged. "I'll ask, boys." He flew off then came back. "A portal can be opened if you have the right form of magical opening device. The King believes you know who we speak of."

"I can get Dawn here but she's not the Key any longer," a witch said quietly. They summoned Dawn, who was in jammies and had her toothbrush in her mouth. "We need to open a portal, Dawn."

Dawn looked at the demon then spit out her toothpaste. "You had to do this while I'm on my period?" she asked dryly. "That'll make my magic go funny. You'll end up somewhere strange."

"I can wait," he offered with a smile. "Though I would need sustenance."

"Fat. Fucking. Chance," Dawn said dryly. "Okay, knife." The witches cast the portal spell while Dawn cut her hand and opened it with them. Willow showed up being huffy but had to help when she saw the demon. It huffed but stomped through the portal. Dawn cleaned off the blood with her t-shirt then shook her head at the witches. "Next time, have better timing?" she demanded. "You know magic and periods don't mix. Plus I have an algebra test tomorrow." They sighed, getting her calmed down. Xander lent a kid to cuddle her. "Are there others? I can feel huge sucking magic down there and a few higher beings. Did they contain a god level demon?"

"Yup. Seven in the library plus the vault," Gray complained.

"All broken now thanks to the explosion," Xander finished with a smile. "Oh, this is Eggsy and this Clint. Clint worked with our big brother. Eggsy works with Merlin."

"Oh, that's sweet," she said with a smile for him. "I've talked to Merlin a few times when he was looking for the twins. He seemed more sane than most of the slayers." She pointed and took the kids back to the camper so she could clean up then came back out to help. "Oh, fuck you," she told the complaining goddess. "Really, right up the asshole, princess of stupid." The demon glared at her. She stared back. "C'mon then." She waved her on. "I'm in a bad mood. I need chocolate and killing you will impress boys if I ever find one I can sneak past my stupid ass sister."

The goddess snorted. "You're just a human," she sneered.

"No, sweetheart, I'm not a human." She pulled out the weapon she had grabbed and blew the goddess's head off. "Not likely anyway." She looked at the twins, who grinned at her. "If I'm staying here, you're buying me chocolate. Tonight."

"We made cookie bars," one of the witches said, smiling at her. "We need to refine your magic anyway, Dawn."

"Buffy said no," she said dryly, looking at them. "You know how she is."

"I still say we pick you up someone to pretend with and let her freak out," Gray quipped.

"I'm way too old for that," Clint said.

Dawn smiled. "You're sweet but a bad boy. I need to find someone who can make me ineligible for blood magic."

"Oh, we forgot," Xander said, looking at his twin. "And this spring will have one that needs it."

"That will warp her magic," the witch complained.

Dawn looked at her. "It's me losing my virginity or me losing my life and them using that magic to have London invaded. Which did you want to deal with? Especially since you'd have to deal with Buffy too."

"You'd make a wonderful bride," another witch said.

Dawn snorted. "Sex does not equal marriage for most everyone in the US, ma'am. We fuck for pretty well every happy occasion." She blushed. "Beyond that, I've never taken a vow of blood magic or purity. Frankly, the magic is annoying and keeps putting me in danger. Also, it won't end the baseline problem that gets me called for things like this." She shrugged. "Still gotta have it broken in by next week."

"Next week?" Gray demanded.

"That cult starts summoning next week if we can't stop 'em," Dawn sighed. "We've saved one sacrifice they had planned."

"Let me call my boss," Clint said. "SHIELD's remains can do that for the girls. We can even hurt humans a lot."

She smiled at him. "That's sweet. Thank you." She looked at the witches, who nodded that was a good idea. Good. Then tomorrow I'm going to London to party and find an easy club."

"I know a few," Eggsy said. "They're not worthy of you. Or really most girls."

"Doesn't have to be worthy," she said with a smile. "Just has to be easy and have a dick that works for ten minutes. I don't expect more than ten minutes from any guy, especially ones near my age."

"You're underage?" Clint asked.

"Sixteen is magically adult," she said dryly. "They won't wait until eighteen so I can't wait to find someone worthy of my magnificence."

Clint nodded. "That sucks," he said. "It should be more than that."

"Yeah but I'd hate being sacrificed more and you guys would hate the invasion in London."

"True." He went back to talking to Phil, who was throwing a fit. "She's right, it's a worse threat."

Eggsy called someone. "It's me," he said. "I got a young woman, a witchly sort, who has a blood magic problem and needs a bloke to cure it in under five days time. You free this week? You're not worthy of her but she said she only needs one that works." He nodded. "That'll be fine. I'll bring her back Tuesday. Thanks." He hung up. "One of my friends is easy and has noffin'."

Dawn squealed and hugged him. "Thank you! I didn't want another one to capture me to bleed me. It really sucks tits." She went to hang out with the kids so she was closer to the bathroom.

Eggsy frowned then looked at the twins. "Again?"

"Her sister stopped the last one by dying," Xander said with a grimace and a slight shrug. "But Willow brought her back."

Eggsy nodded. "Sure, gotta be a bad thing then."

Clint pulled the phone away from his ear with a wince. "Your brother wants to know more about this cult, guys."

"We'll email the files once we tell Willow to," Gray quipped. "Or he can go talk to his former beach time boyfriend for a day."

"We would've offered one of our ex's," Xander told Eggsy, "but she hated them a lot."

"I can't blame her for that," Clint complained. "He said going to see your boss will be awkward."

"Oh well," the twins said in unison. "It's that or he has to talk to Willow and Arneston."

"He said Rupert at least makes sense most of the time, as long as he's not drunk." He walked off talking to him. He paused. "Guys, do we have to guard Dawn harder?"

"No, we will," the twins assured him.

"Okay. Thanks." He went back to talking to him about the cult problem. It'd cause another problem they'd have to deal with.

Eggsy sat down to learn how to handle things from the three who were experts in it. Dawn was great at organization and shopping things so she had restocked them by that night so much more cheaply than the guys did. Plus gotten the kids bigger clothes so they fit again. She had gotten Clint and Eggsy some spare t-shirts to put on too.

***

Phil Coulson knocked on the main Council house's door, nodding politely at Willow before stepping inside. "I need to speak to Mr. Giles about the cult, Willow," he said quietly. "We were not aware of it and we can handle it for the Council since it's humans doing it."

"Who the frilly heck are you?" she asked dryly, looking confused.

He smirked. "I'm the twins' big brother."

"Oh."

"And SHIELD."

"Oh, okay." She nodded and led him back to the office, knocking. "Giles, an agent here to talk about that stupid sucking cult." She let him in. "He said he's the twins big brother," she said, ignoring his blush. He was probably reading about incubus again.

"He is," Giles said with a smile.

"I'll bring in what we have." She walked off shaking her head. It was too early for this.

"This was not what I expected," Giles said dryly.

"Me either then the boys told us about the cult that was going to sacrifice Dawn." He sat down. "So we at SHIELD have decided that's our job."

"Yes, well, I suppose it could be as they're humans doing it. Where is Dawn?"

"Clint said that the coven summoned her to help with a rather large problem over there."

"Oh, that one. I remember that." She came in with the stack of files and books. "Thank you, Willow. Do we know who most of them are?"

"Yeah. I've done checks on most of them." She looked at Phil. "You don't look like the twins."

"I look more like our mother. They look like taller versions of our father."

"That makes sense. What do their parents do?"

He smiled. "They're retired from government service."

"Oh, that stuff. I guess they're disappointed in what the twins do?"

"Only that they get into battles and had to depossess one of the kids thanks to something in that building. They'd like them to do safer yet still mean things. My mother's actually one of the best snipers in any government." She shuddered as she walked off, slamming the door behind her.

"Your mother and I had a bit of flirting going on. Which makes this even more weird," Giles said dryly.

"She said to tell you hi and she used that flirting to make my father jealous." He smiled. "Though she thought it was sweet we got drunk together that once. Oh, and Merlin's said hello as well. We've had a few talks recently."

"I've heard," he said, staring at him. Phil smiled. "The twins wanted me tortured for making them clean up the building?"

"No. I believe it's coincidence that Dawn suggested it."

"Possibly not. Dawn's been in a bad mood."

"She's being girlish from what I overheard while talking to Clint."

"Hmm." He went over the cult's methods and reasons.

Phil went over the files. "That's not that deep of a background check but fairly good for a civilian just using the internet. We can add onto that to find ways to make them break."

"Please. We'd hate to have to rescue Dawn again."

"I believe the twins agreed she should fix that."

"Her sister will lose her ever loving mind," Giles said quietly.

Phil nodded. "Yes, but Dawn's sixteen, not three."

"Point I suppose. I don't want to remember what I was doing at sixteen." He hummed, sipping some of his tea. "I do hope the twins are making sure she's safe?"

"One of Merlin's boys has been learning from the twins and suggested a friend of his."

"That's fine I suppose." He cleared his throat. "I won't let that be known."

"That's also fine." He smiled at the young woman stomping in. "Yes, Miss Summers?"

"Who're you?" she demanded.

"The twins' big brother and an agent of SHIELD. I'm here to stop that little cult problem since we can handle humans causing issues when you can't."

"Did the twins send you? Because we can handle it."

He cleared his throat. "Miss Summers, you're likely going to have to kill one of the cultists. I know your girls cannot do that. We at SHIELD can." She shuddered, backing up a step. "As for the twins, no. They shared information with an agent of ours that we have training with them. He told me and it was agreed that was more SHIELD's job than a Council job. Though I came because I'm acquainted with Mr. Giles from our younger years. We hung out a bit while he was on spring break from college and I was on leave from military training."

She grimaced. "Eww. Giles wasn't ever that young."

"All lucky beings age," Phil said dryly. "Including us men." She huffed. "As for your sister, she's with the twins. She restocked both campers and bought the children clothes after the witches summoned her."

"Why?" she demanded.

"A rather large demon they needed to open a portal for and Willow still has the concussion," Giles said. "I protested but it was safer than another large, long lasting battle since the twins had one that lasted nineteen hours two days earlier."

"They could have a slayer," she said. "They should have one."

"Grace got to go back to school," Giles said blandly. "And promptly got to change schools thanks to that nun. Who we've protested and put in a report that she needs drugs of some kind. Even the illegal kind might help her."

Phil laughed. "I heard a report on that situation. Clint was complaining on her behalf. That nun has been sent away from six other schools for that problem and they all suggested mental rearrangement as well. She's been fired from her current position as well."

"Good!" He looked at Buffy again. "I'll gladly send one of the girls to help the twins but you know none of you can handle that sort of battles and the kids being cute near them. The only one that could would be Faith and she's needed here. I'd send you but you're not allowed in the UK again after the last time." She slumped, grimacing. "I'm not going to ask Kennedy to show up due to her problems with the twins. The only other option is to send an underage slayer to them to personally train and I'd never let one of the younger girls into that sort of warzone situation that cleaning up the old building has become."

"I'd go," she said.

"You're not allowed in the UK, Buffy. You threatened two different lesser royals and killed a demon pretending to be a member of Parliament. They have you banned and if they see you trying to come in, even for an emergency, they will instantly arrest you and deport you." She huffed again, pouting. "Beyond that, I doubt you could handle what the twins are. They've seen a lot of harder battles in Africa. They managed a nineteen hour battle with Willow helping. You could not."

"No one has that sort of stamina," she complained.

"Sometimes you have to pull it up," Phil said with a shrug. "Plus they're used to six and seven hour long battles when they have artillery. Without it's often longer. We've gotten full reports from their systems. Our parents were quite worried so had me look." She grimaced, stomping off.

Faith leaned in. "The twins of ass doom need help?"

"They could but it's a constant warzone getting all the things that were loosed," Giles said. "We need you here, Faith, and the only other senior girls are Kennedy or Maribeth. Neither of which the twins will put up with."

"No one puts up with Kennedy," she said dryly. "I don't and neither does B. Even Willow hates her after a few days together." Giles nodded that was true.

"Hey!" Willow complained from up the hall.

"Find a better pussy, Red. You need someone nicer and more supportive than bitchy." She looked at Giles. "They could handle Maribeth."

"They're working with two male agents to train them," Phil said.

"That may be a problem."

"That and she wanted to bed the twins," Giles agreed. "Which isn't allowed."

"We can tell her that. The kiddies would probably drive her off."

"We'll see who we can send them. They haven't even gotten to the bad things yet," Giles said.

"Damn it," she muttered. "I can go if you need me to."

"We need you here. The local community responds well to you."

"I can tell 'em." She shrugged, walking off. "Send me tomorrow night."

"I can do so."

Faith went to the local demon bar. It was early yet but the bartender was in. "I'm being sent to help the twins."

The bartender looked at her. "We'll go easy on Buffy."

"Thanks." She grinned. "Got any news we should hear from over there?"

"Not really. I know Dawn's there. She may have found a way past that cult."

"Good on the girl. She should've been able to handle it sooner but B's a prude and pushy sister. She does it to the rest of the girls too."

"Poor slayers," he said dryly. "Bring first aid stuff and the kids are with them, plus a lot of the coven. Two agents, one's young and cute."

"Cool. I might find someone to tap." She strolled off to let a few others know then went to pack. Giles sent her that night.

***

Faith walked into the camp, dropping her bag and knocking the young one down to kiss. "Howdy." She smirked. "The twins?"

"At the pub with the kids. I'm calming down. Who're you?"

"The slayer Faith."

"Ah. We had your dossier." She shrugged and sat down. "They sent you to help?"

"Yup. Thought the boytoys needed help."

"In many ways," he said dryly. She laughed but nodded. "The kiddies are cute though."

"Way too mushy for me. I'm not used ta kiddies."

Eggsy nodded. "I have a sister."

"That's cool." She looked over at the sound of the jeep, nodding at the guy who got out. "You the hotty that Phil guy said was here?"

"Yup, Clint Barton," he said with a smirk. "You must be Faith. He said you were coming tomorrow."

"Tweedy got me here sooner. He thought they were getting to the bad parts."

"We've seen a few of those," Eggsy said.

"Speaking of, your people sent you backup in the form of that young, noble one," Clint told him. "She's at the pub with the twins."

"D?" Faith asked.

"Dawn's napping," Eggsy said with a point. "She wanted one." He grinned. "It's all fixed."

"Good! About time! Her sister's an idiot about that stuff. Does the same complaining about the younger slayers needing stress relief too. Tried with me but I reminded her of all the rotten dick she's gotten over the years for that same reason so she quit nagging me about mine actually being alive and working. Plus usually hotter than anything she's had."

A rental van showed up and the twins got out. "You're here," Xander quipped. "It's Auntie Faith, guys." They got freed and ran over to hug her. "Awww."

Faith smirked at them over the kids. "I'm not here to sit."

"That's fine. It'll spare my arm," Gray said, coming over. "Guys, time to bathe." They pouted. "Faith can see you tomorrow. She's our slayer on call for the next few weeks." They trooped in, waking up Dawn on the way. She came out to help with the bath times. The kids adored her because she read to them whenever they found a book.

Xander sat down, grinning. "Gray lost the coin toss." Clint and Eggsy smiled back. He looked at Faith. "We have two bad areas before we get to the main emergency." Another car pulled up. "Eggsy, they wanted me to train her with swords too."

"That's fine. Rox's nice that way." He waved her over. "Come pull up a seat."

She settled next to him. "Hello, I haven't met you yet. I'm Roxy."

"Faith." She shook her head. "The twins won't take it easy on you. They're harder on the girls because they know you've gotta be tougher thanks to shitbag men."

Xander nodded. "Yup. All too true too often."

Roxy smiled. "That's fine with me. I expect to work just as hard as any man."

Faith nodded. "Probably, yup. I'll start on sword work tomorrow, guys. That way they can clean up things."

"How did you learn?" Roxy asked.

"Slayers get a download of most everything they need, including weapons and fighting stuff."

"That's weird," she said.

"It's also got the memories of all the other slayers that've come before," Xander said. "All the way back to the First Slayer, Sineya."

"I've talked to her spirit a few times in the scythe. She's seriously pissy that they did that to her but also that the new girls get backed up. She praised us for having that. It makes us stronger." Xander grinned at her. "I know, B don't listen."

"Often."

"She know about her sister beyond her being here?"

"No."

"Good!" She smirked. "D could use some fun. Some safety too. We have *got* to find that girl a future that doesn't come with watching her sister die in a battle."

Dawn leaned out of the camper. "I've been trying. She's on the kick to not even let me go to college now. There might be guys there." She pulled back to go back to helping. Then she came out with one of the babies, who was drinking some water. "I offered to go get knocked up to give her nieces and nephews. She had a fit that made her go to the ER from her blood pressure. Willow nagged me about having normal relationships later. I'm about to run away and hide."

"If you want to be an agent, we might be able to get you in with someone," Clint offered.

"My sister would shit elephants. Whole teams of them." She smiled. "Besides, I don't want to hurt people. Be mean to them sometimes but not kill them. That's kinda a prerequisite, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "It is."

"Damn. Otherwise I might."

"You any good at computers?" Eggsy asked. "There's always tech support jobs."

"I have no idea. Our school doesn't really encourage it. Willow's yelled at us for using computers for homework because she used to hack. I have no idea how to do anything but check my email thanks to her."

"Us too," Gray agreed as he came out. He took the baby back, putting her into bed. "There, you rest, sweetheart. We'll be here when you get up." He kissed her on the head then went back out to the campfire. He flopped down beside Dawn. "The Council has a lot of people that are projecting their own problems on others. Willow and your sister included. Including us because we shoot back whenever we're reminded we're normal."

Dawn hugged him. "It's fine. Normal isn't a bad thing. I'm normal. Willow's normal, but wacked in the head." They smiled. "Being a witch doesn't make you not normal. It means you can use a gift that wears you out. It's not real handy in every situation. Me, I'd rather have fight training."

"Why can't you?" Roxy asked.

"My sister."

Roxy grimaced. "She's that strict?"

"She's that uptight," Dawn said. "She thinks I'll never date, because she said so. I'll never have sex because she said so. I can't go to college because there might be guys. I can't have a real job because that would throw off her world. And on and on and on," she finished with a sigh. "One of these days I'm going to run away."

"Why not, she did," Xander said with a shrug. "She ran to LA when your mom gave her an ultimatum she didn't want to hear."

"Huh." She grimaced. "Is there somewhere I can run to that'll not let her contact me?"

"The military," Clint said.

"No thanks. Not my thing. I can't take orders like that. If I think there's a bad idea I've learned to spout off. It usually happens when Buffy has a crackhead idea."

"Have you tried that book that has all the career interest tests?" Clint offered.

"No, not yet."

"I can get Phil to find you a copy. Maybe it'll give you an idea."

"That might be nice."

"That and a boarding school," Gray said.

"She'd never allow that," Dawn snorted. "That would get me out of her way. She'd have nothing to complain about. There's days I feel like the Cinderella of the Council and I know there's no prince at the other end of the ball. They don't go to the prom and my sister wants to make me dress in the most victorian, ugly dress ever. Then she steals my clothes she can't fit into to supposedly look cute on patrol."

"I remember her skirt on patrol problem," Xander said dryly. He pulled out a picture to show. "That's her patrol outfit more than once."

Roxy stared. "How did she fight in that skirt? Or those boots?"

"She's Buffy, she's like that," Faith quipped. "She nags me about fighting in leather pants. Whole lots more practical than a skirt."

"Spike and Angel never minded," Xander quipped. "She went on date on patrol."

"Often and she's passed it on," Faith said with a smile for them. "You need to come back to yell about hos again."

"Yup," Gray said with a grin. "I've already reminded some that they're hos." His phone rang. "We knew you were scrying, Willow. You're paranoid that way," he said without answering it. "We can complain about you two and your house full of hos." His phone rang with another text message. He looked at it. "No, you're not a ho, dear. You don't get any. You're in the entire other direction of that spectrum." He put his phone down. Another text message getting huffy about how they treated the girls. "I treat the ones that have sense just fine.

"Unfortunately sense has been in short supply in Cleveland. You might want to make sure that's not a spell since the one that wanted to be a nun is now doing cage dancing at a club." No new text message for ten minutes. Then she admitted they were right, there was a spell but it hadn't been on her or Buffy. "Of course not," he said dryly. "You two are guarded against it. I'd personally send Dawn to a British boarding school. They're all excellent educationally and she'll need something like that to get past seeing her sister die some day soon."

"Before she takes over our route," Xander agreed.

"As long as it's not Hogwarts," Dawn quipped, cracking up Roxy. "Or Watcher School."

"Mine was exceedingly hard to get into," Roxy said. "I'd suggest it but I nearly didn't get in the test was so hard."

"I went public," Eggsy said with a shrug.

"I got a GED in the circus," Clint admitted.

Dawn looked at him. "You were?" He nodded. "Wow. Is that fun?"

"Lots of work. Putting up stuff, taking down stuff, helping around the camps. It's a lot of hard work every single day."

"I expected it'd be hard work from what little I've read."

"All those tents have to come up and go down," he said. "It takes most of us to do."

"Huh. Is animal training hard?"

"Sometimes. It's not something you learn cold."

"Pity. I might like animals."

"Well, someone's got to deal with the two dragons that immigrated," Gray said dryly. The agents were all giving him odd looks.

"They're in a zoo up by Scotland," Dawn said. "Old Council spawn that became a zoologist."

"That figures." The twins got up to get drinks, coming back out. Willow was there. "Don't you think Dawn would do better in a really good school?"

"She has to come back or Buffy doesn't have a reason to go on," she sneered. "You wouldn't know that."

"Watch me beat your ass," Xander warned.

"You're just a faulty clone."

"No, Willow, I'm the original," he said dryly, pointing at his glass eye. "And I've had enough. I'm so going to have Dawn possessed by someone who had a career and all that good stuff. Then I'm going to get her into a decent school so she doesn't follow us. That way she has an actual *life*. One she wants to live, without the darkness we have daily, and without all the threats."

"You can't remove that from her!"

"I don't need to." He grinned. "There's ways to block that from everyone. Including changing her identity." She slapped at him. "Watch me deck you," he warned. "That's your last shot." She tried to hit him again so he slugged her. Then he sighed. He took the phone from Gray since he had recorded it, and let him call the witches about Willow's fit. He got sent back to the main Council building, dropping her in front of Giles. He let him see the film without saying a word.

"She's been doing that more often," he said quietly.

"She's insecure and pushing it on others. Part of that is Kennedy's shit and some of it's all this plus her addiction. Buffy does the same thing." Buffy growled behind him. He looked at her. "Dawn's going to go to a *real* school that means she'll have a bright future. Maybe even in England."

"She can't get near boys, Xander. It can ruin her."

"Really? Are you sure it hasn't yet?" She gasped. "You can't be with her every second of every day, Buffy. Beyond that, her being *safe* from those who wanted to sacrifice her is a lot better idea. Huh?" He stared at her. "Do you really want your sister to wait on you to come home dead every single day?"

"She's my sister."

"That doesn't mean she's your slave. Would your mother like that?" She swung at him and he blocked it. "Seriously?"

"Children," Giles warned. "Joyce would want Dawn to have her own life, somewhere safe," he said quietly. Buffy cracked, starting to sniffle. "Unfortunately we all would adore for her to have a real, normal life that would keep her safe."

"Someone offered to get her training as an agent and she didn't want it," Xander said. He hugged Buffy. "Sometimes you gotta let them go for their own good," he said. "The same as I will the kids once they're old enough." She stabbed him in the side and he broke her jaw and nearly her throat. Giles hopped up to stop him. Xander held his side, staring at her. "Unlike you, I don't die from a poisoned blade, Buffy."

"You're part demon," she sneered.

He stared at her. "So are you. Where do you think the slayer essence came from?" She gasped, backing up. "You're a lot more than I am. Ask Sineya if you don't believe me." She lunged at him with the dagger out again. He broke her wrist and arm while taking the dagger. "You think that was a good idea? I've had worse than this from patrol." He stared at her. "You're tired. Maybe you should retire." She shrieked and tried for him again. He kicked her in the chest, caving it in. "Huh. Really?"

"Enough!" Giles ordered. "I know you're only defending yourself, Xander, but still!"

"I'm not going to let her cut me again. I do more work than she does."

"You're nothing," she gasped. "You'll always be nothing."

He shrugged. "Great, yay me. We still handle more problems than you do." He stared down at her. "Want me to paddle you again too?" She gasped again. He leaned down to pull her ribs back into place for her. Giles helped him then they backed off. He looked at Giles. "I'm not going to put up with it. From either one. Which school would you like Dawn to go to so she's not in the middle of this toxic bullshit?"

"I'll compile a list tonight. Is she safe?"

"Yeah. She's fine." He smiled. "In all meanings of the word."

"Excellent," he sighed. "Are you sure?" Xander looked at him. "You?"

"Hell no."

"Oh, good."

"She's like my sister too. I want her protected by being able to protect herself when we're all dead from what we do. That way she's got a real life."

"She should have one. I'll talk to her tomorrow. You should get stitches."

Xander looked at his side then pressed on it, sighing. "It's not in an organ. Her knife's not that big." He waved at the slayers staring at them from the doorway. "We've been pushing for Dawn to have a real life away from all this."

"Good," Rona said. "She needs one. Plenty of the younger ones treat her like shit for not being one of us." She pointed at Buffy. "Thanks to her."

"We suggested a school somewhere else and Willow showed up with her fit. I wasn't going to let her hit me again. Then this one stabbed me so I broke her a bit." He stared at her. "She could probably use an ambulance."

"She'll press charges," Rona said.

Xander looked at her. "The PD in town won't take any complaints from any of us. Unless that's changed?"

"No," she admitted. "It hasn't. You good?"

He looked at his side, shrugging some. "Yeah, I'll do some stitches when I get back." He looked at the slayers. "How many of you guys treat anyone who backs you up like she did? Because if so, that means we get angry and leave you. I nearly left her a number of times and the only reason I'm not now is because I don't have to put up with Buffy and Willow very often. Being honest, if I had to be here, I'd have found a real life." They nodded, looking away. He looked at Giles. "Six more days before we tackle the vault."

"Thank you for handling that duty."

"You sent us." He shrugged, then paused to suck in a deeper breath. "Let me go get stitches." He looked up. "Please, Simone?" She sent him back to the camp. "Buffy," he said when his twin hopped up.

"We saw. We logged into the computer system there," Roxy said. "Will that cause problems?"

"No. Because if it does, Buffy's going to have to do it on her own again. The foreign slayers appreciate having help. They know how hard the duty is."

Dawn sniffled, looking at him. "Is my stupid sister going to live?"

"Yeah. I reset her ribs for her so she could breathe."

"Good. Thank you for the ass kicking our mother couldn't do."

"Not a problem." He settled down, letting Gray do his stitches. "Don't," he warned quietly. "Really, just don't."

"I'm not going to go show them how weak she's made them," he promised. "I was going to ask Jo to go do that."

The twins shared a look then nodded. "That's not a bad idea," Dawn agreed. She called her. "Jo, it's Dawn. No, huge shit fit from Buffy on Xander. She stabbed him in the side so he wrecked her a tiny bit. Broken ribs, arm, fractured jaw. Yeah. Can you go show them what a real slayer is supposed to look like? Thanks, Jo." She hung up. "She, Gwennie, and Mortina are all going." She smiled. "They're tired and need a vacation anyway."

"A change of pace from Asia," Gray said with a nod. "If they want."

"Yeah, they wanted to," she assured them. "Mortina is going to pause with the coven on the way back too." She sent that message to them. "I told them about Willow's fit. They're growling but tired. Simone had a scrying up to see what happened."

"Good. That means no one can say I was mean without reason."

"No, you had many reasons," Dawn said, smiling at him. "What would I do in a normal life?"

"Be a girl. Go on dates. Find a career. All that shit."

"I might like that." She hummed at the car driving out. "That's Mama Stephanie."

"Yes, Elder?" Gray called.

She walked over. "You should have paddled them both."

"They'd never allow that. It'd embarrass them," Xander said dryly. "This was instructive and I beat them fairly."

"Yes you did, Xander." She patted him on the cheek. "Willow will never be the way she was."

"I know. Magic became the reason for her existence. Can you find some school ideas for Dawn?"

"There's a few charming ones by us," she said, looking at the young girl.

"I don't want to be a witch though. It's a lot of work and stress. It'll keep dragging me into the hunting."

She nodded. "Too true." She patted her on the head. "You'll do wonderfully finding a real life, Dawn. We support that position and Willow coming back for help."

"Have fun with it," Xander quipped. "Before she comes back." He pointed.

Elder Stephanie turned to look at her. "We saw all that, Willow. You're clearly clouded again. Come along, let's go see the girls."

"No! They hurt Buffy!"

"She started it," Xander said. "After you did." She shot magic at him. The elder witch stopped her but Xander moaned, straightening up. "Wow, not as hard as the last time you tried to kill me." He stood up, strolling over. "Try it again," he offered. "Let's see how that goes this time." She backed off, looking scared. "I'm not your bad puppy," he said quietly. "I never have been and I never will be. So you can stop it or you can never come near me or my family again. Because you're becoming a problem to be hunted. Again." She went pale, shaking her head. "So help me your Goddess, I swore you would not get back to that point when the witches asked me to help you. It's my duty to take you out if you do. It'll hurt but you haven't really liked me since high school anyway so it'll hurt less than staking other friends has." She backed up a step. "Your choice, Willow. Are you going back there?"

"I...." She pulled up magic and had his gun in her face. "You won't. It'll backlash and kill those misformed kids of yours," she sneered.

"I'm standing right here," Dawn said, standing up and walking over. "I'm pretty sure I can prevent that." Willow sent a spell at her and she caught it then absorbed it. "Cute. Dark but cute." The elder witch stared at her so Dawn smiled. "I had to learn. She's tried me a few times and had some of the mini witches try compulsions on me."

"Wow, that's stupid with who you are," Xander quipped.

"I forgot about that," the elder witch muttered. "Oh, dear. Dawn, do not final strike her. It could expand to the building and we're not ready to start on the hard parts yet."

"No problem. I won't. She's not worthy of a final strike." She moved closer and grabbed Willow's cheeks, staring into her eyes. She muttered something and Willow shrieked as her hair bleached then she fell down without any magic. "She's no longer a problem."

Xander put up his gun. "You sure?"

Elder Stephanie knelt beside her to test her. "She's burned her magic from her."

"Yup," Dawn agreed. "Found the spell last year. Knew I'd need it sometime." She helped the elder witch up. "I'm not her whipping post. The same as Xander's not her puppy."

"No, you're not." She stared at her. "Are you sure you don't want the craft?"

"Not as a career. To protect myself I'll keep up those sort of things but otherwise, no. That's not my life. Mom wouldn't want that to be my life."

"That's an informed choice, love. I appreciate that." She kissed her on the cheek. "Call on us if you need us, Dawn. I'll get on that list with Rupert tonight." She took the witch back to her car with Clint's help. "Thank you, dear. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I'm not. That means they have accountability when they do the wrong thing."

She nodded. "That is one purpose of the Devon coven." She got in and drove off. When she got there, she called Rupert on a joint scrying portal. "We have decided on a punishment for Willow Rosenburg's audacious use of her skills against others. Including her earlier attack against Xander." He swallowed some scotch, nodding. "We have burnt her magic from her."

"Is she living?"

"Yes. We do not want to confine her but she has been harming slayers and taking them from their paths as well. Also, I promised Dawn I'd help her gather a list of schools since she doesn't want to do magic for a career or join the coven. She's interested in protection uses but doesn't want it to be her life."

"That's a well informed choice and her mother would have been proud of it," Giles agreed. "I'll start my own later." She smiled. "Is she well?" She got out of the way so he could see her. He sighed. "Thank you."

"One of the twins called a foreign slayer to come spar with the other girls."

"That should be eye opening I'm sure. Thank you."

"You're welcome. It's good he finally bit back. He's right, she thought he was her puppy."

He nodded. "She has for a very long time." He smiled at them and they cut the link. They could buy Willow a plane ticket back home later. Once she woke up and they chatted with her.

Back at the camp, Xander was wincing and holding his liver. "Damn it, there again."

Gray got him sitting down so he could check it. "At least your liver's not glowing this time. Last time was bad enough." He got a potion from their kit, handing it over. "Here, to demagic you."

"I hate this potion," he muttered, swallowing it in one gulp then going to heave in the bushes for a bit.

Dawn followed to help him. "I'm doing new protection runes on you guys."

"That's fine," Gray agreed. "Sorry you guys had to see that." He sat down. "I'm hoping the kids didn't."

"They're asleep," Eggsy said quietly. "He okay? Need support?"

"No, that potion will make him heave up all the magic he's carrying. It might end some protections on him but it's necessary before that sinks into his liver. We're lucky that the last one got eaten before it shut down our liver." He looked over there then inside the camper. "Well, tonight was eventful." He sighed. "In the wrong way."

"You guys should club or someat," Eggsy said. "Reduce the stress."

"If we do, some of our dates will definitely show up and we can beg them nicely for artillery. We'll probably need some soon."

"Not funny," Clint said.

"They do," Eggsy said with a nod. "Some of their past dates? Yeah."

Gray grinned and nodded. "Many of our past dates."

Roxy shook her head. "That's charming."

"Only the bad boys and girls of the universe love us like we do each other," Gray quipped with a smile for her.

"I don't want to know what twins do," she quipped back.

"We only dance together. Once we were made to strip together but otherwise it's worse than my own hand. We're not that sort of twins, no matter who would like it." She burst out laughing, shaking her head.

"Does your big brother know about that?" Clint asked with a grin.

"I don't know if anyone told him about that extra special valentine's day present or not." He checked on Xander. "We really should look up some of our former good dates to see where they are. We've been missing fun. Some even babysit for fun times."

Faith looked at him, shaking her head. "I don't need to know about you two and funsies. That's a mental neighborhood I don't want to visit."

"Awww, do you want to play?" he teased her, getting swatted.

"Hell no. I'm not bad girl Faith anymore."

"Willow tried to tell me I was the reason you went bad girl."

"Not hardly." She patted him on the knee. "Need help, D?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks."

"Okay, let us know."

"I will. I know I'm not Supergirl. Nor would I want to be."

"There's something comforting not being the one that the world rests on," Clint agreed. Eggsy nodded at that. Clint looked at him. "When?"

"Valentine," Roxy said quietly. Clint blinked. Eggsy nodded. "I did some of the other stuff."

"Wow," Clint said. "That's serious. Good job, guys." They smiled. "Wanna become an Avenger?"

"Not likely. I'd look bad in the suit," Eggsy said with a grin.

"So do I," Clint agreed. They watched Xander come back and head to bed. "He good?"

"Yeah, he's fine. Don't tell his big brother if he'll throw a fit on someone," Dawn said, sitting down again.

"Phil doesn't do fits. Sometimes he'll have some temper but it's always a quiet storm."

"Please don't tell our relatives," Gray sighed. "We'd hate for them to be disappointed at us for handling things."

"I doubt they'd be disappointed," Clint said. "Mad at them, yeah. At you guys, no. I know Phil pretty well and I know he wouldn't be upset at you two or Dawn."

"Don't anyway. We can't handle that."

"Sure. I get that."

"Or Merlin, guys."

"We won't," Eggsy said.

"I was going to ask him about a school list for Dawn," Roxy said.

"That might be handy. He's at least local so he's know about any issues that had hit the press. Thank you and him for me if he has one."

"Not a problem, Dawn. Sometimes it's important to have a plan." She pulled out her phone to text him. He sent back he'd send her one tomorrow in an email. "He'll email one." She smiled. "Maybe you'll find a great support staff sort of position."

"I don't want to watch people I know run out to die anymore."

"That's something we all hate," Eggsy said.

Clint nodded. "Yes we do. Even when it's support staff that gets targeted by accident we hate it."

Dawn stared at him. "I saw a flash in your aura." Clint winced. "We can help end that. The witches have done it for the twins before."

"It's a different sort of possession," Gray said. "Like being infected with the essence of a demon. Her sister did that and became telepathic."

"That's bad," Roxy said. "Eww."

"Yup," Dawn said. "Muchly from what I heard later."

"But she did find the lunch lady trying to poison us all. We all would've gotten hit by rat poison if she hadn't heard her."

Dawn shook her head. "Sunnydale was so screwy," she muttered.

"Yup," Gray quipped with a grin for her. "Thankfully you didn't finish up out there."

"Yes, I'm glad I didn't go to the horribly bad school that was meant to fatten us up for feeding on later. The few years I had there was more than enough."

"Be thankful you got out of there," Gray said. "Spike said plenty of vamps wanted to adopt you as their future princess. Including him."

"Eww, that would be like sharing a lover with my sister. Gross!"

"She...dated a vampire?" Clint asked, looking disgusted. Gray nodded. "Eww. I gotta agree with the munchkin. That's so gross."

"Two. One of them had a soul curse and Spike had one put up thanks to a spell making him think he loved her that much," Dawn said. "I felt sorry for Spike but still gross."

Clint nodded. "Quite gross. Are the other slayers like that?"

"No. Only one's had a crush on a very pretty male vampire. He was emo model pretty but she'd never sleep with him."

"That's grosser than most things I've heard," Eggsy said, looking at his best friend. Roxy was shuddering. "We need ta find you a real life, princess."

She smirked at him. "Only a boyfriend gets to call me pet names, dear." She blew a kiss. "You're too busy for a good girl like me."

"Probably, yeah." He grinned back.

"Guys," Gray complained. "Someone's scrying again."

Eggsy looked up and waved. "Hi." The heavy feeling left.

"Go to bed, Eggsy, before you go nuts," Clint said, but he was smiling. "Let me check in with Phil and I'll hit the couch too."

"Roxy, you can have one of the bunks. The kids are all curling up together," Gray said.

"That'd be kind of you. Thank you. Dawn?"

"She'll probably crawl in on Xander later. She's a great nightmare fighter and we know she'd never touch us. Plus it'll keep the kids from crawling in." She laughed, patting him on the arm. They put out the fire and went in to get ready for another long day in the morning. Clint grinned when Roxy made a report while he made his then they went to bed too.

***

Phil looked at the nightly report from Clint, grimacing at what had happened that night. "Yes, I can certainly find those tests for Dawn so she can find a life outside all that darkness." He paged down, grimacing. "That's disgusting. Oh, and Rosenburg, how nice of her." He read the outcome, frowning some. "She had better hope she never regains them," he muttered.

His father took the phone to read, staring at the report. "Yes, she had better hope she never regains those powers of hers." He paged up, frowning at what he saw. "I do hope that girl gets a regular life for as long as she wants it. I know that sort of thing will tug you back if you let it." He handed the phone back and walked off to talk to his wife. She was most enchanted with Dawn. "Dawn wanted to find a normal school and hopefully a normal career."

"She'd do stunningly well at my former academy," she said, sending that message to Rupert. She also noted that he had no heirs to his family name and should probably think about that soon. After all, he wasn't a spring chicken any longer and her sons couldn't do that for him. Though they might let him name one of the children if he asked.

Ivan kissed her neck, making her smile as she typed. "That is a very naughty idea."

"It goes well with my son's former paramour leaving him one as he had no children."

"He does?" Phil asked, looking back from where he was mostly tied to a chair. His mother had been displeased he had been too busy to come to dinner. His phone rang. "Yes, Stark?" He listened. "No, there was no prep shot or anything in that lab. We ripped it apart to make sure. Though he has been awake. His readings show he's been awake." He listened. "He's probably highly confused. He doesn't have any memories. No one's given him an assignment yet. No one's been there when he's woken up, and I'm doubting they left him alone at all. So go wait until he wakes up again.

"Watch his brain waves and tell him he's safe, you rescued him, and watch out for him to lose it." He listened, nodding along. "That's probably for the best. Yes, I agree that's a good idea. No, he's in England learning how to use a sword. Yes, from my younger brothers. That's fine. He could probably take a call if you wanted. They've been working on the old building, which had a distressing number of demons inside. They've had a number of larger ones show up as being released thanks to the explosion. That's fine. I'll be up there tomorrow," he sighed.

"Maybe," his mother said without looking over. "Perhaps not, dear."

Stark heard because he made a joke. "Yes, I'm grounded. I was too busy to come to dinner. I'll see you as soon as I get free to help with Barnes." He hung up and texted Clint to warn him.

"Let your brothers sleep," Ivan ordered calmly. "You forgot the time difference."

"I was texting Clint." He looked over. "That way he knows what's going on with his team."

"That's fine then. Clinton's a very nice boy." His mother smiled at him. "You should invite him to dinner sometime soon, dear."

"We're not dating, Mom. No matter what the rumors state we're not dating. I was his handler, nothing more."

"Nonsense. That doesn't preclude dating another agent, dear." She smiled. "I saw my handler for a bit. And that dear Arthur has such a crush on his Galahad but is scared of it because he was the poor boy's mentor into training and then he died for a bit." She grinned. "You can date him if you want. We won't mind a bit. We won't even demand that you adopt grandchildren."

"That's a good thing since kids are scary," he shot back, smirking at her. "Besides, Clint's hiding a family."

"Oh, pity. I had such hopes for you two." She went back to checking her sources. "Hmm. The poor boys will be missing a paramour soon it appears. The UK wants one of them gone for good."

"If you tell the twins, they'll try to get him to hand over some of his weapons first," Phil said.

"It appears he switched off weapons for biological contaminants." She grimaced. "That's disgusting."

"Germ warfare is gross," Phil agreed. "May I get up to go to the bathroom, Mom?"

"Of course, dear. As long as you don't try to escape since dinner's in an hour."

"I won't." He got free and headed into the bathroom. When he came out, his father tied him back up. "Dad!"

"You were slow. You need practice," he said, patting his son on the cheek with a smile. "Then you can teach our grandchildren."

"Someone should before they start dating like the twins."

"There's not that many arms dealers left in the world," Ivan quipped. "They'd have to share and that would make us upset."

"The twins have dated agents," Phil said. "I was hoping they'd hit on Natasha. She could use someone fun in her life."

"I thought her and Clint maybe," Ivan said, looking at his wife.

"Many have," Phil said dryly, smiling at him. "And they might've at one point in time. Now they're more like siblings."

"Do others know about his family?" his mother asked.

"No. I'm about to give him a good reason to go on injury leave. Another reason I sent him at the twins. He could use the sword work lessons but also because he'll get injured and have to go home for a bit." He sent a message to one of the twins. They could arrange that.

***

In England, Gray looked at his phone then hummed. He got up and found something on a dirty shirt, carrying it over to the other camper. He dropped the specific spot of goo on Clint's forearm, smiling at him when he stared back. "Big brother said you're ignoring things like your farm. He said to make sure you got an injury leave. Two weeks with regular antibiotics and you'll be fine but it'll itch so whoever can baby you. It looks totally nasty but isn't contagious." He left again.

Clint looked at his arm, going to clean it off. He called Phil. "That's evil." He smiled. "Thanks." He hung up and headed out. Roxy was in the other camper so only Eggsy had seen. He'd understand, he had a family too. And a pug.

***

The next day, Eggsy settled at the firepit next to Roxy and Gray. "Clint had a rash?" he asked.

"Yup. Phil said he had one."

Eggsy nodded. "Sometimes you gotta baby those things." Gray smiled at him for that. "I should bring JB up to treat the kids."

"Don't give our kids pets. You'll never get it back," Xander said as he came out. "Grace is back, she just pounced Faith, and Dawn's babysitting today." They all nodded. Grace and Faith came out, settling on the free side of the firepit. "So, for today?"

"Let's do an easy part, yeah?" Eggsy asked, smiling at him. "Nothing with a building-sized demon?"

"Sometimes, the small ones are the worst," Xander told him, patting him on the knee. "Really high up demons in the hierarchy show up as kids. We've thought ours were a few times."

"My sis too," he agreed. "I remember colic."

Both twins shuddered. "Don't remind us," Gray ordered. "Please."

"To blatantly change the subject," Grace said, looking at her older role model. "Do you ever crave stuff? Like seafood?"

"Not really," Faith admitted. "I had plenty of the cheap stuff since I grew up in Boston. Used to nick some now and then from food vendors or backdoors of fancy places that were going to throw it out. Lobster was nice."

"Lobster used to be considered food for the poor," Roxy said. "Until someone more wealthy liked it." She grimaced. "I never really cared for it but I do like crabs."

"We went to a county fair in Cali. Someone there had a lobster fries dish," Xander said. "It was so good even though he ruined it by putting the funny tasting mayo on it."

"Aioli?" Grace guessed.

"I have no idea but it was funny tasting mayo. It was really good without that."

"I would've liked bacon bits on it too," Gray said. "I like bacon."

"Mmm, bacon," Xander agreed, looking blissed out. "Like that maple syrup bacon?"

"Oh, that was nice." Everyone was staring at them oddly. "They baked the bacon, which means less mess, but they coated it in maple syrup before baking it. So damn good."

"I've seen some done with sugar," Eggsy said. "At a fair. It was definitely bad for me but I remember it was real good."

"I'm not a big one for sweets so I probably won't try that," Roxy said.

Faith shrugged. "All slayers like sweets except for Rosana. She's so anti sweet it's not funny."

"Then again, she's anti any food," Xander said, looking at her. "She went past vegan to 'not eating anything that might've had feelings', including more complex plants. I don't know where she got empathy for potatoes and carrots but she does. We all think it's weird and have had her checked for possession."

"So salad and herbs?" Roxy asked. They nodded. "How boring. Plus not good for you with such a minimal diet."

"Which is why she's sick and whiny," Gray said. "We reminded her of that when she wrote whining about hospital food being forced on her."

Grace nodded. "I saw the last time her mother admitted her. That time to psych."

"Good!" the twins said.

"We should send her some chicken fried bacon," Gray said with a mean grin for his twin. "I remember seeing that at that one fair."

"That was good," Xander agreed. "Hmm. We need to try that ourselves."

Eggsy looked at them. "That's bad for you." He grinned.

"You gotta let yourself have a treat now and then otherwise you die with regrets," Faith said. "Make me some chocolate covered?"

Grace moaned, gripping Faith's arm. "Oh, that sounds so good."

Dawn walked out and handed her a chocolatey cake. "Here, I heard that need and had it a few days back." She smiled. "What are we talking about?"

"Speciality bacon and sending Rosana some." Gray smiled. "Faith wants some chocolate bacon. We were thinking about sending her some chicken fried bacon if we can find the recipe again. Or maybe some maple bacon."

Dawn patted him on the head. "You don't have a deep frier or a huge oven, guys. And you're almost out of propane again."

"We can get some later," Xander said. "Water?"

"Probably low by now," she agreed.

"We can drive over to the campground in the next town to top up," Gray said. He looked at the wreck, waving at the eyes staring back at him. It whimpered. "Then go. As long as you're not going to eat someone, go." It wiggled its way out then ran off. They could hear another whimper in there so he got up to see what it was. That one got released too and it ran off. Gray came back to get more coffee and sit back down. "Someone apparently decided to capture things they thought were cute."

"They were dumb and we knew that," Dawn said. She went back to play with the kids. She adored the kids. She didn't want any of her own but she adored the horde. She looked up sales on bacon and other ingredients they'd need. Sure, it was mean to Rosana but she needed the swift kick.

***

Roxy showed up in person to report for a new mission. She was limping, the ends of her hair were singed. Her clothes were messed up and dirty. She had some soot on her face. Her arm was in a sling. She was smiling so broadly everyone got out of her way thinking she had finally cracked. She nodded politely at Merlin. "You needed me for a mission?"

He stared at her. "What happened? Should I get a drink before I hear it?" he asked when she started to laugh.

"One of the witches accidentally opened the vault before we were ready to handle it."

"Sit, lass."

"Hell no." She shook her head. "I can't do that."

"We'll get you to medical. Eggsy?"

"Being babied by the kids. They'll drop him around here later since the building's done. Completely done. The demons sank it when they realized they wouldn't win." She let out another small laugh. "It was so nasty."

"Let me get you to a bed." He got up and helped her to the infirmary. "She was helping the Council team for sword training. They ran into a problem."

"Are you infected by a demon?" a nurse asked.

Roxy shook her head but was still smiling. "No. Not in the least. I killed four. Two of them because they wanted me as a wife. One because it wanted Galahad as a wife." They helped her to a room so they could strip her and treat her injuries.

Merlin got an email saying they were sorry, they had kept her out of most of it. Eggsy was still with them since he didn't want to go home and let his sister see him like that, or Arthur, and they were at a nice hotel with the kids. The witches had paid for it in apology. Merlin answered back they could treat Eggsy there. Eggsy wrote back saying he wasn't going to let anyone see him like this. Not even him. Merlin went to the hotel, going to check on his agent. Eggsy was hiding in a darkened room. "Did you get disfigured?"

"No," he moaned. "Fuck you."

"Not likely. I don't let anyone back there." He flipped on the lights, staring at him. Half his hair was gone, he was bruised all over, and he was spread on the bed like he couldn't move. "You need the infirmary. It's irresponsible of you to lay in here and die."

"'M not," he complained, pouting a bit. "Just banged up. And hairless." He moved his feet with a wince. "Just bruised."

"Uh-huh. I can get you back there subtly."

"Considering I can't walk, I doubt that."

"The antidote will take another hour to work," Gray said from behind Merlin. "One of the kids poked him with the poisoned dagger while trying to hand it to him." He walked in to feed Eggsy some water. "The hair'll grow back faster. The witches are ending that spell that made them want you as a wife."

"Ta." He sipped some more and put his head back down. "Witches are mean."

"Yup, that's a thing we already knew." He fed him some more water then left Merlin to yell at him.

"Do you two need medical as well?" Merlin called after Gray.

"You know we don't do doctors," Xander called back from his room. "Ever."

Gray leaned out of that room with a grin. "Besides, if you did, you'd have to babysit. I can just see our kids helping all the trainees and agents."

Merlin shuddered. "Me too. That's a bad thought." He looked at Eggsy. "We can still take you in."

"Let the spells end, yeah?"

"Maybe not. It could be safer there. I'm sure some of their dates are showing up soon."

"Probably since one's already over there babying Xander. His side's still sore from Rosenburg."

Merlin grimaced. "I can bring you all in. The kids can play with the weapons design team."

The 'visiting bad guy' stepped out to stare at him. "I can easily baby the twins and that one. We're waiting on the magic and poison to end first. He doesn't want to be embarrassed." He gave him a pointed look. "Some young ones have pride. Just like the twins do." He went back in there to help Xander's booboos. "That's very nice of you to help me clean off the booboos, Toby. Thank you. Good boy."

Eggsy sat up with a wince, holding his back. "Give it an hour, yeah?"

"Yeah, we can do that. Will you be able to walk then or should I arrange for transport?"

"We're only around the corner from the shop but nah, I don't think I can walk that far."

"I can get us a cab to get you back there then." He checked him over. Eggsy looked like a walking bruise. The magic ended easily and quietly, making the hair grow back. The bruises didn't heal any. Eggsy finally was able to move and got up with help, going to hug the twins. "Let me get him back there, boys. Do I need to send a doctor?"

"Nah. We're great at it," Gray said dryly.

"All right. Call tomorrow?"

"Yes, dear," Xander said, blowing a kiss with a grin.

"Good boys." He walked Eggsy out, hovering behind him as he limped out to meet up with the cab he had summoned. It was only a second's wait but Eggsy wore himself out getting into the cab. When they got back to the Camelot estate, he had the medical team come out to help Eggsy out since he was nearly asleep. "He was in the same battle Lancelot was."

"Figures," one of the nurses said. "Anything we should hear?"

"He was given an antidote for the poison he accidentally picked up and it should be erased now, and the magic that had accidentally hit him was ended by the witch who hit him instead of the demon," Merlin said.

"We can test for the poison easily enough. Are we sure about the spell?"

"Yeah, the hair's back," Eggsy said dryly. "No more spells."

"Why would your hair matter?" a nurse asked, looking at his hair. "Though you could use a trim."

"Because the one demon was banished by taking his hair and lighting it on fire," Eggsy said. "She missed a bit and got some of mine."

"Aww, poor thing." They carried him inside. "All the bruises?"

"Most were from the last twenty-four. Some were older. There's been a few huge suckers comin' outta there."

"I believe he called in one report that said 'nineteen hours' and that was about it," Merlin complained.

"Yup," Eggsy said, grinning at the nurse. "They put some herbal stuff on 'em that's fab. I can't feel a single pain right now."

"Charming but helpful I suppose." They got him to a bed, stripped down, and blood taken to check that poisoning. He really was one big bruise with a few ripped muscles in his back. His hands were torn up with new blisters that had opened but been slathered with something. Like with Lancelot, they'd have a lot of little picky injuries to deal with. Clearly, dealing with demon things was the problem that some people had.

Merlin was checking on who had been with the twins, grimacing when he saw it was a lower ranking member of MI-5. Whose brother was a lackey in Parliament. "Charming new friends," he muttered as he checked up on them. "Ah, the kids made sure he didn't kill 'em. Great!" He found something new in the twin's file, looking at it. "They were left what?" he muttered. "Huh." He called Gray's phone. "It's me. Look up yourself in Google, lad. Because one of your dates left you stuff, like a house. A little cottage nearly in the middle of nowhere. No, he's fine. Loopy but fine. Yeah, there." He spluttered. "They did what?" he demanded. "Huh. Won't that have to come from someone higher up? Oh, charming! Sure, you handle that, boys. Let me know if you need help." He hung up, going to get a drink. He could use a drink, and telling Phil. He'd adore his brothers inheriting a house in the UK.

***

Giles answered the phone in the kitchen. "Watchers' Council, how may we help you?" He listened. "They did what?" he demanded. "From whom?" He sighed. "Is that one of their former dates?" He nodded. "Can they protest it? I'm not sure if I want to uphold that or not, Philip. It could upset them greatly. No, they do deserve it, yes. Plus it would give the children somewhere stable to be. Actually I have to talk to them anyway as there's been a few of us that had died. Yes I can. Tomorrow fine? That's good. Yes, I have an appointment next week. That's fine, Philip. I'll see you there. Thank you for letting me know." He hung up, looking at Andrew. "One of the twins' dates left them a modest little house."

"That's charming. That'll keep them out of here so they don't have to deal with the poutiness they caused by being themselves."

"Yes, well, it had to be done I'm afraid since the ladies started it."

"I agree, they had to, but they're still pouty and Jo beating most of the girls in the house made them more so. Thankfully they're super good."

"Yes, and the girls that the twins have trained are just as good," Giles said with a smile for him. "They've done fantastic with it." Andrew smiled. "We'll have to see how that plays out. Most governments would want to confiscate it depending on what their former dates had done."

Andrew nodded. "Here in the US they only have to suppose you've done something. Even if you haven't." He got back to his chopping of onions. "Are we going to talk about the problem members?"

"Yes, we should." He looked at his list. Then at the younger man. "I know I put an enormous amount of pressure on you with that problem."

Andrew shrugged. "I can handle it. It's nice not to be seen as the help." He smiled at the slayer leaning in. "Ham casserole."

"Can we have dessert?"

"Do I ever not make dessert?"

"Last night's was biscuits. Like southern biscuits."

"That was supposed to be shortbread and if you had gotten to the fruit it was nicely fluffy."

"Oh, well, fruit, yay."

Andrew smirked. "Fruit makes up a good portion of dessert, Jo."

"Fine." She came in to hug Giles, grinning at him. "Is everyone okay?"

"The twins are still bruised but all right."

"That's good. Do we need to go excavate anything else?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I hope not."

"Good. Let me know. We don't mind backing up the twins and we can go with Mortina to see the coven." She skipped off. "I'm going to spar if anyone wants to join me." The other girls glared at her for it. "Welcome to being patrol ready, ladies. We have a lot of stuff to do nightly and not enough time to do it. I can gladly teach you that throw I caught you with too," she told one young, cocky slayer.

"I should learn it, just in case," she grumbled but went in to spar with her. It was a good learning experience.

Jo looked at her as she wrapped her hands. "Every slayer makes a promise to herself to train harder after every apocalypse battle we survive," she said quietly. "Then we forget if we can. Some of us can't. That's why I mourn my twin, who was one of us." She stared at the young one. "This year's apocalypse battle isn't any better than the others, even if they do stop the invasion in London thanks to that cult."

"I know that but it sucks."

"Yeah, but a few hours of sucking is better than a lifetime of death. Right?"

"Yeah, that's true. With my luck I'd have to float after Buffy nagging her about her skirts." Jo smiled and waved her on. They got into it easily enough. The younger one was good but could be better. She taught her all the tricks the twins had taught her, and her big brother had taught her. It was good for her.

***

The twins looked up as Merlin joined them at the pub's table their first night out of bed. "What's up?" Xander asked, smiling at him. "Thanks for not taking out our fussing date. It was nice to be fussed over."

"Not a problem. He's only mildly bad at many things." He stared at them. "Your little cottage is cute." They smiled. "And all yours."

"Thanks. They won't protest his will?" Gray asked.

"No. They'd rather not. A few thought that you two being up there would help make sure the country was protected."

"We're still needed back in Africa," Xander said.

"They'd like you to be up here long enough for the invasion if possible, boys." Merlin grimaced. "I've pointed out we do have a few slayers currently in the country, and we wanted to see what a slayer could do against an agent. We're wondering if you could talk Faith into training against Eggsy? Maybe Grace as well if she wants to. Since she's younger I'd keep her against Roxy."

The twins looked at each other then Gray texted Faith. She wandered in a few minutes later. She sat down beside Merlin, staring at him. "What's up and who're you?"

"I'm Merlin. I'm Eggsy and Roxy's handler." He smirked a tiny little smirk. "We wanted to know if you'd like to train against those two, and with Grace if she wants, to show off what you girls can really do. We'd let you learn things we know that you may not."

"Eggsy's not bad. Very parkour oriented," Gray said dryly.

"That running shit?" Faith asked. Merlin nodded. So did Gray. "I've never understood that stuff." She took Xander's drink to sip, making him roll his eyes. "You don't need it anyway. You'll just get picked up by another bad girl." She looked at Merlin. "I wouldn't *mind* but I'm not sure I can trust you. I like the young, hotshot thing, but I barely know him."

"You can. We trust him, he's the kids' godfather," Gray said, smiling at her.

"Him and our brother would never hurt the girls or the kids," Xander said, taking his drink back. "Besides, I might want to be picked up tonight." He blew a kiss and took a drink.

Faith shook her head. "I could use some dick just as much but I like mine nicer than yours."

"We stopped the last bad one," Gray said dryly. "He wanted to eliminate a village as a way of wooing us." He shrugged, sipping his light beer.

She shook her head. "Just training to see what a top level slayer can do?" Merlin nodded. "Can I break any stupid ones?"

"Gladly," he said with a smile. "I enjoy that myself. Though you won't find any trainees right now. Just full agents."

"I can do that and I'll ask Grace. She's bored with the home schooling stuff." She texted her, getting back a 'please, I'll beg, no one here will work out with me'. "She said she's stuck without a workout buddy." She looked up. "So we can do that."

"I'll grab Grace to bring her down," Xander offered.

"Roxy can. She's up by her to recover with an aunt, boys." He smiled. "You two go be good boys. Don't make too big of a mess with your next fun time. There's some truly nasty in town right now. Including ones who'd want to know why you two don't let others touch certain things." He gave them a look then got up, holding out a hand. "Tonight?"

"Sure. Gotta grab my bag from the hotel. I only packed enough for a few days."

"That's fine. We have washers." She smiled, going with him to pick up her bag and go back to the center. She didn't even mind being blindfolded.

The twins looked around, spotting a past date, who was staring at them. They grinned. "We've got babysitters," Xander cooed at his twin. "For two days."

"The kids are going to be horrible when we meet them up-country with the witches."

Their past date strolled over, smiling at them. "So free?"

"For two days of witches watching the little ones," Gray cooed, smiling up at him. "They get to change diapers, feed them sugar, and read to them."

"And they have to deal with the hyperness they cause with cookies since they like to bake," Xander agreed happily, drinking a sip of his beer. He got kissed, then his twin. "So...."

"Let's go for a walk, boys." They went with him, the guy's bodyguards following them but not paying any attention to their bosses groping the fun ones. It wasn't their business and some day they'd be bad enough to earn the twins' attention.

***

Faith watched Eggsy working out and shook her head. "How is that useful?"

"I can dodge some bullets," he said with a grin. "Come try." She sighed but came over to try to do what he did. "It's momentum." She moved back to run then flipped off the wall, looking at her feet. He grinned. "Good first one. Now let's try for height?"

"I'm not B. I've never been a flippy person."

He laughed. "She's petite and perky but you're more real." She swatted him but was smiling. They had become friends over training him how to handle a sword for real. He got back to working on her extra skills. It might help her someday. Then they went to the lifting gym. Merlin was in there to test them. The agent with the top lifting record came in to test himself against her and Eggsy. Eggsy knew he couldn't lift like a power lifter but Faith could apparently do his level with one hand. The higher levels she had to actually try harder but she still beat the knight by another hundred pounds. A pouty knight made her happy and Merlin got to test her with other exercises. When Grace showed up that night, they found out she had been hiding some of her skills and Faith yelled at her about that but she dealt with it and ignored Faith like the teenage girl she was.

Then the slayers ran sword tutorials for the knights that might someday have to be in a demonic battle.

Later that night, Eggsy took Faith back to his old haunts. They were a lot like hers in Boston so it gave her some homesickness but he was good to hang out with to help cure it. And his sister was adorable.

***

The twins looked at their little cottage, as it had been described to them, and agreed it was a little cottage. It was cute. It was whitewashed stone on the outside with a few windows. One story. Cute wooden door. They walked in together, finding two witches in the living room, on a flowered couch, and one in the kitchen putting on water to boil. "The kids?" Gray asked quietly, looking around.

"In the bigger bedroom. There's only two, boys, so you'll have to add on," one of the witches said with a smile. "We brought some furniture since there wasn't any here."

"Thanks." Xander looked around. The kitchen wasn't modern by any means but it wasn't too ancient. Nothing before the nineties it looked like. The two bedrooms were small by American standards. The one that had the full sized bed held all the kids curled up together, with the babies in the center. The other one had a smashed in full size bed that you couldn't really walk around. They snuck to look at the bathroom, which had a tub, so that was handy, and all the other usual bathroom parts. They went back out. "Any idea if there's a hidden area?" Xander asked.

"No clue," the head witch said. "They were darling children for us. We did expect you boys earlier today?"

"Traffic," Gray admitted. "There's a huge wreck in the nearest town thanks to a cricket game's riot or something. We had to pause to get people off the campers." He flopped down on the floor next to a wall. "Is the yard safe?" The witches all nodded. "Cool." He looked at his twin, who grinned back. "It won't be that hard to put on an extra area, or even a second story."

"I'd rather have it all on one floor. That way I'm not forced to go up and down the stairs while I'm in a cast," Xander said.

"Good point. Plus more bathrooms." The witches giggled. "We know girls will need more. There's three of them. They'll need at least four more bathrooms just for the girls." They giggled again. Gray got up to look outside. "We can add on that way," he said as he came back in. "The backyard is a stone patio. The eastern lawn isn't bad. The western has a small slope and the garage or storage area out there. It looks like it's falling in too."

Xander nodded. "We can plan that. It won't be that hard to add onto the cottage and we've been told we need to be here for the next few months anyway." Gray nodded and sat down beside him again. They looked over at the sound of sneaking. "Potty time, guys?" he called quietly. The baby squealed and ran out to pounce them. "I like you too. Did you have fun with the coven?"

"Sascha, want me instead?" Gray asked with a grin and a wave.

Sascha waved back. "Him then you." She snuffled Xander's shoulder then snuggled in again.

The witches all smiled. "Let us know if you need more than the usual protections put on."

"We'll be painting anyway," Xander quipped with a grin. "We need the anti-magic runes though."

"We can work them up to protect the nursery, boys," another witch said with a pat for the baby's head. "You boys have fun. Need anything else?"

"We stopped to get groceries so they're in the campers," Gray said with a smile. "Thank you for heathen sitting."

"They're adorable little demons, boys." The witches drove off together in a hail of Celtic harp music and one complaining she wanted something with lyrics.

The boys looked at each other then went to explore. There was no way the one that had left them this house had used only two small bedrooms. He had a staff of thirty plus guards. If they had been here, they had lived somewhere else. They found a sliding door in the bathroom and went down to see what was down there. There was a barracks and a computer setup down there. An office, a small library, a slightly better kitchen, a dining hall, and two more bedrooms. The twins shared a look. They could handle this for now. Plus add on so they had more real bedrooms.

***

Roxy and Clint showed up together, her driving since Clint's arm was broken. "Boys?" she called from the doorway.

"Looking at the storage area," floated up from over the slight hill. They hiked down there. Xander came out to stare at them. "You can have the flowered couch the witches left," he offered with a grin.

"Thanks. Your brother sent me to check on you since you haven't called him or anyone," Clint said with a smile.

"Cellphones don't work out here," Gray said. "And our satellite phones are off again thanks to Fury raiding the company because they're demon owned."

"We did email," Xander added. "Including house plans."

"I didn't hear that," Clint said, trying to call Phil. No signal. Roxy's either. "Do you guys have a blocker out here?"

"No, there's no tower on this side of town for another sixty miles. We asked," Xander said. "Also no hope of a home line."

"We can get a satellite for tv and internet but not phone," Gray added.

"That's nuts," Roxy said. "I thought we had coverage everywhere in England." They went back up to the house. "Anything interesting found, boys?" she asked with a smile.

"A slight office area underground but it's got an older system."

"Fine for what we need," Xander said. "But nothing too high tech."

"Have you cleaned it to make sure that no one's got a line in?" Clint asked.

The twins looked at him. "Why would they care about Council business?"

"Because there's still people who weren't found," Clint said. "And also some hidden HYDRA people who would love to bring you guys down."

"Plus probably demons who are technological that could hack in."

Xander looked at her. "Quite possibly but they could do it to the main house's system. We couldn't get it too high up, Giles considers computers to be worthless evil. We had to rest on the knowledge that Rosenburg had and a few other watchers that had personal systems." She moaned, shaking her head. "We use our phones most of the time but then again." He waved a hand around. "No signals."

"Where are the kids?" Clint asked, looking around.

"Nap time," Gray said, holding up the baby monitor's receiver end.

"That's sweet of them." They went into the house, Roxy going to be nosy for others. She had her official glasses on so Merlin could see too. "Boys, which room is the kids'?"

"Right now they're sharing the bigger one. We're adding on rooms," Gray said.

"That's good. Are you guys settling in for good?"

"No. We're here until two weeks after the planned invasion in London since they couldn't stop that cult." He shrugged but grinned. "We'll handle it."

"Of course you will and you'll have help. Where's this system? Merlin wanted to know." He showed her the office area. "I've never heard Merlin make that noise before. Is that XP?"

"It runs the programs," Gray said firmly. "The later versions of Windows won't run the database."

"Oh, dear. That's going to suck."

"Quite."

"What about security updates?" she asked.

He stared at her. "Half of those are the problem, not the solution. Most of them aren't needed. Very few are actually critical updates and we don't use many microsoft programs outside of the operating system. Like I said, we had to rely on Rosenburg. It has to be useable by everyone. It has to run the programs. Seven ran all but one program and that one's only semi-critical and it can't be reverse engineered to update it."

She looked at him. "That's sad."

He nodded. "But necessary. Most people who hoard books don't like computers."

"Good point. Merlin said let him think about things. He's already got a line into that system so he can go over the specs later."

"He's busy."

"He may be but he just said he's going to because this is the fallback for the Council."

He grinned. "Not exactly." She stared at him. He grinned. "We have multiple fallbacks." He walked off. "C'mon. I'll start an early dinner because I can hear the kids getting cranky so they're awake."

She followed, heading up to talk to the cranky ones. They ran outside instead and went to play in some mud. Xander went with them while Gray got to cook. She leaned out the door. "Xander, Merlin just asked why you guys weren't living at the bigger house on the other end of the property."

"What bigger house? We only knew about this one." He looked back. "We've barely gotten the areas around here explored. We know the lands extend about five miles but no one and nothing said anything about another building."

"Hmm. Let him look on the satellites then." She went back to the kitchen to talk to Gray. She touched her glasses. "Merlin said that your ex boyfriend is in London."

Gray looked up then at her. "Who?"

"Jarvin? Harold Jarvin?"

"Mercury," Clint called.

"Oh! Him." He grinned. "Tell Merlin to tell him we said hi. He hates kids so I doubt he'll show up to flirt." He went back to his salad prep work. "Though not a boyfriend, more of a vacation fling." He grinned at her. "I'm sure he knows what those are like."

"He just groaned so probably." She smiled. "Have the slayers come up yet?"

"Not yet. Last I heard Faith was flirting with Eggsy in the gym."

Roxy sighed but nodded. "Often." She stiffened. "Merlin said you two need to take Eggsy out to go clubbing. He's being a pain in the arse, that's a quote, and he needs out of the building before Merlin grounds him from missions.

"He and Faith fighting?" Gray guessed.

"No, Faith found some fun with some of Eggsy's former friends. He laughed about her breaking them. Merlin wants the unholy duo broken up before he has to have Faith fitted for a suit."

The twins looked at each other then shrugged. "We can go clubbing. We have in the past."

She came closer to Gray, leaning on his arm. "There's also the matter that one of the other knights has insane jealousy with wanting Eggsy," she said quietly. He smirked back. "Can you?"

"Of course we can. We're good at helping people get their man." He winked and handed her a bowl. She took hers and Clint's to the living room. The kids came back to get food when they saw them eating. They adored their 'aunt' and 'uncle' that teased them with veggies.

***

Xander strolled into the tailor's shop, staring at the young guy meeting them there. "You are *not* wearing that to go out with us." He smirked at him. "Sorry, but Roxy's orders. We're to make you have dirty fun tonight."

Eggsy looked him over, leather pants and form fitting t-shirt plus boots. One obvious knife in the boots. Eggsy looked at his own outfit then at Xander again. "We're going to that sort of club?"

"Yup, that's the only type we go to." Xander grinned. "Gray's in the car. Change. C'mon." He strolled off.

"I can go in this."

"Then you look like you're our toy instead of hunting," Xander shot back.

"Point." He went to change into something tighter then came back to meet the twins at the car. He slid into the back of the posh looking sedan, looking around. "Rental?"

"Of course. We don't have a car here. Or anywhere really. We can't really take it with the campers." They drove off, going to a favorite club of their type of one-night stands. Eggsy gave them an odd look but they went to the door. The bouncer looked at them.

"Good evening, Bugsy," they said in unison. "Is Andrew in tonight?"

"Yeah," the guard said, nodding. "With his girlfriend."

"This is our new buddy, Eggsy." Gray pulled him closer. "We need funsies. The kids are driving us batty plus we're renovating to add on bedrooms for them. Two bedrooms and one bathroom for all of us just doesn't work."

Bugsy got out of the way. "There's others in there that might be able to find the real house so you're not out in the tech cottage." They kissed him and Eggsy waved but followed the twins in. Bugsy called that in. There were two others that knew where that house was.

Eggsy got put between the twins and the music got better suddenly. He looked around then at Xander since he was facing him. "They like you here?" he asked over the music.

"Yeah. The one who owns the club is an occasional good night's sleep." He winked and moved closer, dancing with him. Eggsy got into it, it was fun taunting the bad guys this time. Gray handed him a pair of official glasses and he put them on when he realized what they were. "Hi, Merlin," Xander cooed next to Eggsy's ear. "Are you watching?"

Eggsy blushed. "Yeah, he is. He thinks there's a worse bad idiot in here."

Gray looked then pointed. "Him?" Eggsy nodded. "Oh well. He's not our type. He's uptight." He pulled Eggsy back against him and smiled at the guy strolling over. "The kids are driving us batty. This is our new friend Eggsy."

The guy smiled. "He's cute, boys." He winked at Gray and stole Xander to dance with. He still ended up surrounded by the twins and their new friend. He was a happy evil computer genius. A few others came over to dance too and it was good.

***

Back in the office, Harry was watching as Eggsy was trained to bait like the twins did without him realizing it. Harry was growling. Merlin looked smug because his plan was working. Then finally Harry got up and hiked off, going to ...rescue Eggsy from the twins. He got to the club and smiled. "I'm here for my boy. May I?" Harry asked politely from his glasses' feed.

"Sure," he agreed. "Is he with the twins?" Harry growled but nodded. Bugsy smiled. "They're getting a fruity virgin drink at the bar and Xander's getting a backrub."

"Thank you." Harry walked in and grabbed Eggsy, walking him off. "Come along. It's time we talked, young man."

"Harry?" he demanded. "Problems?"

"Yes, quite." He took the glasses off Eggsy and tucked them into his own pocket. "I don't think Merlin needs to hear this discussion or the groaning afterward. I really should spank you like the naughty boy you are." Eggsy was laughing but Harry dragged him to his home to make him groan even better.

The twins high-fived and got back to their teasing.

It was such a fun game for them.

Plus sometimes profitable since they got some stuff to handle the upcoming invasion.

***

Eggsy showed up the next day, smirking at them. He swatted Roxy. "For the crappy plan," he said.

She hugged him. "It worked."

He nodded. "Quite well."

"I can see the bite marks. Were you tasty?" she asked primly, trying not to smile.

"Yup, sure am. The twins make it back?"

"They're out in the garden with the kiddies." They went that way. Eggsy swatted them both but they just grinned at him. "They were having fun."

"We were," Xander agreed happily. "It was nice fun too. Growled a bit, teased us back."

"Gave us some help for the upcoming battle," Gray agreed. "Including Bugsy's boss volunteering his people to help."

Eggsy stared at them. "You two are cranked."

"Yup," they agreed, smiling at him.

Toby pounced his favorite buddy. "Hatty?" he asked with a cute grin. "Me hatty?"

"Sure, you can bum the hat." He let the little one have it. Toby ran off to use it as a race car. The hat got 'driven' all over the track the other little cars were going over. Eggsy sat down and looked at them. "Who planned that?"

"Merlin," Roxy said with a smirk. She sat down, waving at the kids. "Oooh, cars? Which one's the camper?"

"Hatty. It can carry others," Toby said, looking serious. She smiled at him. "Come play?"

"Sure." She got down to play with them. The kids pounced her to tickle her but it was fun.

Faith strolled out, staring at the kids. "Hey, heathens." They paused their tickling to wave at Faith then went back to it. Roxy had to get up to run to the bathroom. Faith sat down in the free chair, looking at the twins. "Were they good?"

"Yes, they were," Gray agreed happily. "Though we did find out we didn't inherit that house. It's on the other plot of land. His second-in-command has it."

Eggsy shrugged. "Pity. Could use it probably." He got down to play with the kids when they pouted at him. He got his hat back but they all piled on him to wrestle. It was good for them. Even the tiny ones squealed and pounced. They were adorable and Daisy would be a great playmate for them.

Faith looked at the twins, shaking her head. "So now what?"

"Invasion coming up," Gray said with a hand wave. "Working on the house. You can help."

"Yeah, I think we're gonna be there for the invasion," she said dryly. One of the kids ran over to pounce her with a huge grin. "Hi. Nice pounce. Nearly as good as a baby slayer."

She laughed. "You silly. Lunchies us?"

"I can't cook. Ask the big brothers if they can make us all lunch." She ran over to pounce Xander, who went in to do that for them. The other kids squealed as they ran in, making Eggsy grunt as one hit him on the stomach. Faith helped him up, earning a grin. "Wanna help them do construction stuff?"

"Never done any," he admitted. The twins grinned at him. "I'm supposed ta be looking over what you got for the invasion."

"Naptime," Gray said. "That way the kids don't help and set something off again."

"Again?" Faith demanded.

Gray smirked at her. "Two of ours set off a small missile system and killed a few houses that were full of people who hated the baby slayer we were working with. It was like karma only with babies."

She shook her head with a sigh. "That's so weird, even for your kids." Gray laughed, getting up to go help Xander with lunch. She looked at Eggsy.

"I'm sure my sis could but she's a good girl."

"Good. The world could use some good girls."

Eggsy nodded. "She'll never follow my lead. Or our mum's since she's got crap taste in men."

"Sometimes they're the only ones that seem to care," Faith said. "Even if they do lead you to jail and the like."

Gray came out to hug her, kissing her on the head. "Did you ever talk to his lawyer?" he asked quietly. "There was stuff that needed to be claimed and might still be around. Giles said he was going to look into it just in case." He went back inside.

She shook her head. "The twins are always goofy."

Eggsy grinned. "I figured that out when they had me between 'em ta dance."

She shivered. "That's a dirty thought in the making. All sorts of dirty."

"Even with leather pants," Xander called.

She went to the bathroom to have a few alone minutes. Even if the kids would try to interrupt she needed a minute.

Eggsy tried not to blush but Merlin had taken photos from the video feed at the club. He had looked hot.

***

Faith snapped awake, looking around the room she was in. Clearly a hospital of some sort. She saw the nearest two beds had slayers on them. Then a male she didn't know. Then another three slayers, then one of the twins sitting against the wall scowling. She blinked at him. He waved and she relaxed. She sat up to look at him. "Why the scowl?"

"We got nagged about having kids. So we kindly shoved an old liner into the fight while he was standing around bitching. Pity. Giles is mad though."

"Fuck 'em. You're happy and the kids needed saved," she said. She looked around again. "Xander and Eggsy? Roxy? Grace? I know I saw her showing up."

"Grace got slightly cut by a claw. She got stitches and is with her mother at a hotel getting bitched at about her age."

"The others?"

"Roxy's in the next room up." He pointed. "Xander's up there doing some healing stuff that needed to be done. The nurses are triaging like mofos at the moment because while we won, another group took the opportunity to show up to take the fuck over." Faith winced, holding her stomach. "They didn't win. Merlin's guys got it. That's why a few of them are in here. They're mostly out of surgery."

"I went to surgery?"

"To fix the cut on your shoulder that nearly cut off your arm."

"The count?" she asked, looking at her shoulder.

"Two slayers in intensive care, one dead," he said quietly, getting up to come over. "A baby slayer's mom showed up to help and the baby slayer showed up with her. One of the cars that got crushed was theirs. That's why the mom tinkered something stronger and blew them up."

She grimaced but nodded. "That sucks."

"It does."

"The second battle?"

"Most of the slayers were too tired to attend. Six extra in intensive care." She winced but nodded once. "An extra funeral," he said quietly. "One of the younger in the coven." She slumped but nodded again. "Giles is up the hall in his own bed. Ranting at Buffy where she's still unconscious." He cleared his throat. "Eggsy's in the last bed," he said with a point. "Roxy's in the other room. She's awake and bitching. Eggsy's been kept down."

She nodded. "Thanks, boytoy. You good?"

"Just in a temper. There's politicians who complained we told them three weeks ago that it'd happen." They shared a look. "I told him I could always suggest the slayers could hand over local battles to the agents that all showed up. He had a fit. Gasping, heaving, throwing his bible around fit." He grinned. "Then Giles stepped up to tell him to shut up."

She laughed. "Good on both of you. They going to kick us out like we're Buffy?"

"Nah, only her." He grinned. "They said she can heal enough to walk on her own first in thanks for helping save London."

"Nice of 'em," she said dryly. "Anyone tell his mom and sister?"

"It was televised, Faith. I'm pretty sure she's heard since he's been in a few of the reruns and his phone went off non-stop for an hour until I told Merlin and he came in to answer it for him."

"He okay for reals?"

"Yeah. That crack on the head that gave him a concussion came with a slight poison so they're keeping him down while the anti-poison works." He patted her on the wrist. "I can hear the mean nurse. She's grumpy as hell."

"Great." He smiled, going back to his seat. The nurse huffed at him. Faith looked at the nurse. "We like him watching over us. All the slayers adore our knights, even if we don't appreciate them for reals." She shifted up better. "There, more comfy. How much longer am I in here for?"

"A few days at least, miss. Do you know your name?"

"Faith Lehane." She glanced at Gray, who shrugged.

She wrote that down. She looked up. "How long have you been in England?"

"Seven weeks. I was sent as the senior slayer to handle the clearing of the old Council building. Good thing too with how many demons we had."

The nurse grimaced. "They are not demons."

"They were demons, they just came from another realm," Faith shot back. "I'm a slayer, ma'am. I'm pretty sure I know what's a demon and what's not." The nurse glared at her. She stared back. "Boytoy?"

"If he moves from there I'm having him thrown out," the nurse said primly.

Gray smirked at her. "You try that. Watch me have something that removes the slayers from this facility."

"You are not their medical power of attorney," she sneered.

Gray snapped. "Yeah, that's wrong. Since I am." He smiled and called someone. "It's Gray. Come get the slayers. This nurse is trying to harm Faith." He listened. "Thanks. Please do. Yup." He hung up. "We're going to remove the slayers and certain agents from here."

She went to complain to the doctors. One came in. "Sir, are you their medical power of attorney?"

"Yes, I am."

"Yeah, he is," Faith said. "For all the slayers. He's our battle master with our twin and the senior trainers." The doctor grimaced at her. "Sorry but they are. He and his twin do look out for us. Even when we bitch about it, he's our big brother too."

"Is that legal?" the doctor demanded.

"Giles! Xander!" Gray called.

Giles limped in, staring at the doctor. "Problems, Doctor?"

"Who're you?" the nurse sneered.

"The head of the Council," Giles said, staring her down. He looked at Gray. "Problems?"

"The nurse was making notes about drugging Faith with psych drugs while sneering. I'm having all the girls removed in a bit along with certain agents we like and know."

"Officially?" Giles asked dryly.

Gray smiled. "Eventually."

"I'll gladly let someone like Merry whisk us all away," Xander said. He adjusted his eye patch. "Where's my original one?"

"It was in evidence," the nurse said. "You should go lay down."

He stared at her. "I've had nine concussions in my life, ma'am. I know what to do with one." He looked at Giles again. "When I stopped her from trying to nag Trishy, she tried to send me back to bed too."

"Who has legal representation for these young ladies?" the doctor demanded.

"The ones here are all adults so they do," Giles said. "With papers for any senior staff member who has to attend the emergency that put them in the hospital should they not be able to make their own choices."

"Delusional youth...." the doctor started.

Gray stood up, glaring at him. "I don't care if you don't like their calling but you're more than welcome to save your own ass next time. We don't need this after a battle. If you don't like it, we'll gladly move the girls."

"They're delusional!" the nurse shouted.

"Make me smack you," Gray warned. "You harm these young women and I will more than see your license yanked."

Eggsy sat up with a moan, holding his head. "That fucking sucks," he muttered. He looked over. "Faith, you good?"

"Not quite five-by-five but healing fast, like we all do. Lay back down."

Gray smiled at the official striding up the halls. "Hi."

"Boys. Mr. Giles. Problems?" Clearly he had woken up just in time for the argument of the moment. He had horrible timing today.

"These two decided that slayers are delusional," Gray said. "We're not going to expose the girls to this level of bullshit. We need to move them."

The official nodded. "Your contact called me to help, boys. We can gladly have them moved."

"Can those of us who have other places to heal go there?" Eggsy demanded.

"Of course, young man, and I've heard from your people. They're wondering where you are."

"So do I," he said dryly. "Anyone seen my phone?"

"Your higher up got it," Gray said. "He had to call your mother back. You got caught nicely on some reruns of the invasion."

"Greatness," Eggsy muttered. He sat up fully, holding his head. "Any reason beyond the concussion?"

"The anti-toxin is working," Gray said. He came over. "Go sit on Faith's bed?" He nodded, wandering over there. She moved her feet for him. "Roxy's in the other room," he said, looking at him. "Xander was watching over them."

"How are you not in a bed?" Faith asked.

Gray smiled. "I should be but I handled my own injuries and some of the others' injuries too. Long live being the field medic." She laughed, hugging him. "Let Xander go note the other girls? I know a few were agents." He looked at the official, who nodded, going with Xander. The doctor and nurse huffed off to put in complaints. Gray smiled. "You're safe. Relax," he said quietly. "Giles, you can have my chair. That way Buffy can't nag you."

"Thank you. She's gotten rather good at it." He sat down, rubbing his arm that was still cramping. Gray came over to check his stitches for him, putting clean bandages on. Faith's got checked next. Eggsy mostly had a few smaller cuts and the head injury. The official came through in about twenty minutes, getting all the slayers out of there to a special, quiet hospital. One that had a former reputation as a sanitarium in the old days but now it was for rich people having plastic surgery and the like. All the agents got moved as well by their people. That way they were protected.

Eggsy got led into the infirmary back at headquarters with Roxy leaning on his arm to hold each other up. They got put into their beds and collapsed, going back to sleep. When he woke up, his mother was beside his bed. "Mum. You okay?"

"I'm going to murder you," she said.

Eggsy smiled, taking Daisy from her to cuddle. It'd help Daisy calm down and keep his mother from smiting him like a slayer would when a boy pinched her in the shops. "I met some nice kids you'd like ta play with. There's seven of 'em and they're from your age up." His mother hit him. "Ow, Mum. Concussion!"

She huffed. "What were you doing there?"

"Helping, Mum. Before we all got eaten."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"They had ta take us from the hospital because they were going to put us on psych."

"I see." She moved closer to kiss him on the forehead. "Are you going to live?"

"Yup. Just be miserable for a few days thanks to the head." He looked at Daisy. "You good?" She smiled and patted him. "That's sweet, Daisy."

Faith wandered in, handing over a picture. "They wanted a post report and I'm the one moving most easily." She smiled. "Hi, Daisy." The baby smirked at her. She smiled at the mother, shaking her hand. "Hi, I'm Faith. I've been training with Eggsy for the last few weeks. He wanted some help with stuff."

"That's good to know. At least he had some training," she said, looking at her son, who shrugged but grinned his good boy grin.

Faith smiled. "Eggsy's a great guy. If I had a brother I'd want him. He doesn't nag like the big brothers to the slayers." She rolled her eyes.

"They nagging?" Eggsy asked.

"Not me." She smirked. "B got it for a few minutes. Tweedy got it a few times. The younger girls who jumped in? Yup. The pregnant one? Oh hell yeah."

"Good!" Eggsy said. "She should've known better!"

She shook her head. "We know the risks."

"So? She's still stuffed up. Gotta take care of the little fish in there."

"She tried. Only got a few cuts. Better than B did." She smiled at the nurse coming in. "I'm in for a debrief so you don't have to do that for me."

The nurse smiled. "I don't blame you for running away, dear. The twins do nag quite a lot and the male version does it even worse." She smiled at Eggsy. "Meds for the headache?"

"Please," he begged, taking the pills. "Thanks. Anyone need ta see me?"

"Not at the moment. They'll come talk to you later, once your mother's calmed down." She smiled at the mother. "He's been a good patient so far. Mostly asleep but a good boy." She smiled at the baby, handing her the baby safe lolli. "There, you need that." She left, going to make notes. She leaned in a minute later. "Slayer Faith, they're waiting on you."

"Yup, sure. I can hobble that way." She patted Daisy on the head. "Be a good girl."

"JB?" she demanded, looking at him.

"With Roxy's dog, yeah?" he said with a grin. "We'll see if we can get 'em in a few minutes." The nurse let the dogs in when Faith told her the baby was looking for them. His mother huffed but put JB on the bed since the pug couldn't jump like the poodle. Daisy cooed at the dogs, petting them.

His mother huffed but checked him over until the nurse made them go away for a few hours. Then they went to wander this charming recovery estate hospital.

Eggsy looked at the nurse. "What is this place?" he asked with a grin. "Besides work she don't know about?"

"An estate that got turned into a recovery hospital," the nurse said, petting the dogs. "Lancelot's up the hallway. Her mother called but didn't show up. You're going to be all right. Just the concussion. The poison's all gone. The limp's mostly gone." She patted him on the shoulder. "Lancelot's fine as well. Mostly limping from the stitches on her leg and hip. You can commiserate later, once your mother's gone." She left him with the dogs.

He looked, petting JB, his dog. Roxy's dog curled up to sleep on his feet. "We can go for a walk later." JB curled up on his stomach, getting petted all he wanted.

Harry knocked then walked in. "Well, that was strenuous."

Eggsy smiled. "Got my mother in?"

"No. I sent Merlin. She'd remember me." He looked at him. "Are you well?"

"Concussion. Mum only swatted a tiny bit." He grinned. "You? I remember you being out there too."

"Few stitches. I wasn't near the front lines, I was protecting the back lines with the artillery." He petted both dogs. "Roxy's being kept napping at her insistence so the stitches heal faster." He smiled. "Dinner once you're out?"

"If I can sneak away from Daisy and Mum?"

"Of course."

"Then I'd like that." He grinned back.

"Good. Then it's settled. I'll come pick you up for dinner." He left, going up to his office. Faith was debriefing with someone over video conference.

Eggsy settled in, getting comfortable. His mother and sister would be back soon. She was stubborn that way. Daisy had inherited all her mother's stubbornness and then learned more from him. She'd demand to come back soon.

***

The twins made it out of the hospital and back home, finding a pacing mother. "We've been adding on rooms," Gray asked, making her stare at them. "We're okay."

"I'd hope so!" she said. "Get in here, boys. And where are my grandchildren?"

"With one of the coven." He called and they got sent back with a twinkle of magic. They had cookies in each hand, messy mouths like they had been eating chocolate, and were nearly bouncing. Xander looked up. "That's evil since we're still limping!" he yelled. "I'm going to tell that one demon that wants to woo one of you where your are." The diaper bags showed up next. He shook his head, smiling at his mother. "The rooms aren't nearly done yet."

"We can have them finished, boys." She hugged them both and then checked the kids. "You seven have had a lot of candy it appears." They grinned at grandma and cuddled up to her demanding grandpa and stories. "He'll be here later, children. Want to go play?" They ran outside with squeals of joy. She smiled. "It's good they're happy."

"It's the chocolate," Xander said, following them. "No, don't dunk your cookies in the mud. Then you can't eat the cookies. It's mean to them to make them take a bath." They quit trying to figure out how to do that and settled in to eat them while they ran after each other.

Gray smiled at his mother. "Did you tie Phil up again?"

"No, dear. He's with the nice Merlin boy making sure the clean up's all done. They had to talk." She led him out back, him letting her have the chair. "This is sweet."

"Very," Xander agreed, smiling at her. "I said no mud. That's not good cookies." He got up to take them from the kids. "They're all muddy and you don't eat mud. You're not pigs." He threw them out, no matter how much they whined.

"Then don't put them in mud," Gray ordered, taking another one that was muddy. "No mud. You can't eat mud. Peoples don't eat mud."

"Puppies?" she asked, eyes wide.

"Piggies eat mud. Puppies eat puppy food." She huffed but got up to charm her grandmother into making more cookies. The other kids came to do the same thing. When Grandpa and Uncle Phil got there, they got pounced for cuddles too. They were great and could do things like make cookies.

Xander and Gray shared a look. "Pretty soon we'll have to go back to traveling," Xander said.

"I doubt it," Phil ordered. "The African slayers got nationalized by the newly made African Defense group. It's a joint military and slayer defense group. The baby slayers are all safely watched over and in training with soldiers who have gotten training from you guys too." The twins stared at him. "Fury suggested it to the Arab nations and they agreed it was a great idea. The African ones heard and got together to talk. Most of them agreed with it and offered staff. The few that didn't they'll go help if they ask." He stared at them. "So you'll be training the baby European slayers from what Mr. Giles said earlier. He'll be up here tomorrow. He'll expect you guys to train them here probably."

"We can put up slayer rooms too," Xander said dryly.

"Or have a few kids share," Gray agreed. "We can probably do bunk beds to leave a spare room." The twins shared a look then shrugged at each other.

Phil had noticed the look was more than the twins coming to an agreement. It was something he'd have to look up later. There had been hints that the twins had emergency plans in case they had to leave the Council to protect themselves or the slayers. It was an interesting idea. "Also, Merlin and I talked, boys. He wants you two to include Galahad and Lancelot into your little circle of friends so they can use the intelligence contacts. Like the small circle he and I had of friends, who mostly have unfortunately passed out of the life one way or another. Also, he wanted to know if you could make him class Faith up so they quit going chav as he put it."

"Sure, we can introduce Eggsy to some of our friends," Xander said with a shrug, looking at his twin, who shrugged back. They grinned at Phil. "Not a problem, big brother."

"Thank you. Merlin and I are both getting older and slower. Some day soon we'll start to fantasize about retirement that probably won't come." His mother scowled at him. "It might not, Mother."

"Shut up, Philip. Of course you'll make it longer than I will." She patted him on the cheek then smiled at the boys. "Would that go along with the house that no one can find?" They smirked and nodded. "Where is that?"

"It's safe," Gray quipped. "Very safe. The only one that's seen it is Martin because his bit of craziness let him see through the blocking shield."

"Like on Hogwarts?" she demanded dryly.

"No," Xander said with a smile. "Totally technological. Like light bending camo."

"Only on a house," Gray agreed.

"We inherited it from our three-day wife," Xander added. "She just wanted some fun so her son poisoned her." Phil was staring at them oddly. They grinned. "It helped."

"Uh-huh. Is that where your supply drop is?" he asked. They smiled and nodded. "Then why are you here?"

"Here means that people can show up to visit. There they can't," Xander said.

"That way no one can be traced. Almost no electronics works there," Gray said.

Their mother smiled at them. "That's charming, boys, but I want to see it. So will your father. We didn't even find anything on that quick marriage."

"Not that sort of quickie marriage," Xander quipped. "We're still infertile."

"She just really wanted fun and to be a bad girl. Her daughter introduced us because she was MI-5. She was with her brother poisoning her; we were her method of getting rid of their mother."

"We haven't really killed anyone with sex yet," Xander agreed, looking at his twin.

"We didn't kill that one with sex when he captured us. I used a knife," Gray agreed, nodding some. "His people were amused and we took his shit as an inheritance since he had kidnaped us."

"That was not in your system's reports," Phil said dryly.

"No, it's not," the twins said with a smile for him. "Never will be."

"I don't blame you boys with the way the others nag you," their mother said. She smiled as Ivan came out of the house. "The boys were hiding a fallback, dear."

"Good. They could use it to hide from all those nagging girls." He looked at the boys. "You did very good during the battle, and even better getting the girls out of that hospital later, boys." They smiled. "Are they all fine?"

"Mostly. Some are still going home with hospital needs but they should heal," Xander said. "We've checked with all our girls in Africa and got pouted at."

Phil shook his head. "At least they'll be safer. The ones overseeing the slayers knows why it got changed. They're all people you trained." The twins stared at him. "They made sure the girls wouldn't be mistreated. So has Natasha. She showed up to act as Rupert's assistant during that meeting then told him why later when I told him it was a good idea."

"Are you still hiding from them?" Xander asked.

Phil smiled and nodded. "Yes, I am. They've already corrected my lack of telling them within a month. I have many more months to pay for," he said dryly.

"Don't remind me I wanted to spank you, son," Victoria said. She looked inside, frowning some. "They're napping?"

"They're down from the sugar high," Gray said, looking inside. The kids were curled up on the rug in a pile. "They're fine. They can sleep through anything."

"It won't hurt them to curl up together. If one has a problem they'll come tell us. Or diapers for the little ones." He looked at his twin. "Potty training soon?"

"Within the next year," Gray said, considering it. "We did fantastic getting the older four done before they turned two because the original idiots had been working on it."

"Them being trained will save us a ton of money and some time," Xander said. Gray nodded quickly. "Are we switching so I get the older four and you get the babies?"

Gray stared at him. "They hate me."

"They do not."

"They do. They never play with me. I'm a napping target, not a play toy."

"They'll figure out you can play soon enough," their mother said. One kid got up and came out to climb up Phil until he cuddled her. She smiled at her older son. "You do look good with them."

"Thanks, Mom. I'm still not seeing anyone."

"Perhaps it's time you do, son," Ivan said with a smile for him. "The twins may not get to settle down for years yet."

"If we survive," Xander reminded him. "Remember, we go into huge battles with swords and axes." His parents stared at him. He stared back. "This time wasn't even close but there have been close calls."

"Including Willow nearly killing us," Gray agreed with a nod. "Thankfully she's now neutered."

"How?" Phil asked.

"Dawn." He grinned. "Magic and Dawn."

"I wanted to know more about how."

The twins shrugged. "Willow won't let us learn anything about magic because it's what made her be special," Xander said. "We couldn't even look at protection runes without her throwing a fit."

"She did the same thing with computers," Gray said. "It's why most of us don't use them."

"I can find you and Dawn both systems to teach you better computer skills," Phil said. "It could come in handy so perhaps you could update the older programs the Council uses so you can update to a better operating system."

"Giles would never agree to that," Gray said. "He barely acknowledges computers at times."

"I remember him being like that in college when we met on a beach," Phil said.

"You did?" Ivan demanded, looking at his son. Phil smiled and nodded. "Really?"

"He was in his undergrad on spring break. I was off my first term of specialist training in the military. We met up on a beach, had a fling. The next year, he had a fling with Merlin."

"He used to flirt with me," Victoria said, smiling at Ivan. "It did make you green sometimes, dear."

"Yes, he did. Did he know who you were?" he asked Phil. His son shook his head. "Good!"

"I embarrassed him a lot when I showed up to talk about that cult," Phil said. "Buffy had an 'eww' fit about us having been young men."

"She hates to hear about anyone having sex but her," Xander said with a shrug. "Including us."

"Faith complains about that sometimes," Gray added.

Ivan shook his head. "Faith is a darling girl but could use a steadying hand."

"She's calmed down a lot," Xander told him. "She came out of a lot of problems and made herself into an excellent young woman. She's a bit wild but she believes in work hard, play hard."

"Many agents do," Phil agreed. "She's not any more wild than a younger agent. Unfortunately she's been doing this for longer than agents do because she had to start sooner." He looked inside at the sniffle. "We're out here." Toby ran out to cuddle Xander.

"What's wrong?" Xander asked. Toby pouted up at him. "What's wrong? Bad dream?"

"Eggsy," he sniffled. "Bad guy Eggsy."

"A bad guy's going to get Eggsy?" Gray asked, pulling him over. Toby nodded, staring at him. "We'll let him know so he can be careful. Did you see Auntie Faith or anyone else?"

"Unca Merlin."

"Okay, I'll warn them." He cuddled him, looking at Xander. "It looks like they did wake up visions for him. This is the third one."

"I hate that for him. Visions suck." He took the baby back. "Tell me what the bad guy was doing? Or was Eggsy in a suit or in his hat?"

"Hatty." He stared at him. "At store with clothes. Bad guy comes in."

"Okay, we'll let them know," Gray assured him. He called Merlin. "It's us and Toby's newly awakened vision gift said that you and Eggsy were going to be hurt by a bad guy in a clothes store." He listened. "Toby, did it have suits or was it like where we take you to shop for clothes? Did it had suits like Uncle Rupert's?"

Toby nodded. "Many."

"Can you tell us what the bad guy looked like?" Gray asked. He let Merlin hear as Toby babbled about the bad guy with the scary scars and big, huge gun that sounded like a rifle. "Good job. We'll make sure it doesn't happen. Okay?" Toby nodded, going to hug Grandma. She made things better. Gray listened to Merlin wonder. "We know Xander has them and they're a gift from some higher being. His was woken by the rebalancing of his powers after his eye got popped. Toby's apparently woke up already in dream form." He nodded. "Sounded like it. Just be careful. Oh, and Phil found out about our fallback?" He smirked. "Exactly. You wanted us to introduce them to which friends of ours? Sure, we can do that. See him and you in a few days." He hung up. "He'll be very careful when he's in the shop, Toby. He said thank you and it was a good boy to tell him." Toby grinned, cuddling Grandma better.

"I hope he never gets mine," Xander sighed. "I hate the headaches."

Ivan looked at him but Phil said it. "You have awake visions?"

"Yeah. Full movie in my head that gives me brain ripping headaches. Which nothing works on." He looked at his twin. "If I only wrote them down but didn't tell anyone, do you think they'd quit sending them?"

"I have no idea," he said. "They might switch them to me instead. I'd do that for you."

Xander shook his head. "None of us need that sort of headache and one of us has to be able to drive when they happen."

"Should you be driving with them?" Phil asked.

"No," Xander said. "Or with the eye thing. Oh well."

Phil nodded. "Maybe there's another way then? Since you won't be traveling all over Africa for a while."

"We can go together," Gray agreed. "We need a regular car though. Most minivans only seat seven."

"They make modified vans," Phil said. "We can look into them for you guys." He looked at his parents.

"Many good firms are cheaper over here than they are in the US," Ivan said. "I can look some up." The twins grinned at him. "What of this fallback? Is it larger?" They nodded. "Do phones work there?"

"Only if we've specially shielded them," Xander said.

"It will set off lifesign monitors though," Gray said, looking at Phil. "Totally ruined one of our contact's and he had to spend months telling people he was alive."

"I can warn for that if you wanted to move there now so they can finish the rooms faster." He smiled at Toby, who was sleeping. "You make a good grandmother, Mom."

"Thank you, Philip. Now if only I had some from you?"

"I'm still not dating. I'm more likely to be asked to be a sperm donor."

"If you're open to that, I know a few who might not mind," his phone said in Merlin's voice. "Tell Toby I said thank you. That bad guy he told us about was one that's been going around robbing stores. We caught him about to rob the tea shop up the street and turned him in."

"He's napping on Grandma's shoulder," Phil said. "But it's good he could help."

"He was great help. Let us know if he has more. Should I send the chav twins up there?"

"We're talking about moving to the fallback," Phil said. "So the workers can finish the new rooms."

"We were doing most of it ourselves, but taught Eggsy how to build stuff," Xander said dryly. "No workers. We don't make that sort of money."

Their parents looked at them. "You do have the funds to do that, boys," Ivan said. "We know about that hidden fund."

The twins shook their heads. "What hidden fund?" Gray asked.

Phil's phone snorted. "The one Greene left you to take care of the kids, boys."

"Why didn't we know about that?" Xander demanded. "We would've ditched one of the campers to get one that didn't have problems."

"I'll have Eggsy and Roxy bring up the full file on all that stuff since no one told you," Merlin said. "Go to the fallback. I'll send them up tomorrow." The twins huffed. "Think about the kiddies on the huge lawn. They'll be spastic."

"Probably, but we probably need to mow," Gray said.

"Even more fun for the kids," Ivan said. "They'll love finding frogs and such." He smiled. "We can travel up in the campers."

"The kids are used to hanging out together while we drive," Xander said with a shrug. He looked inside then sighed. "We need to pack up the food." They did that and loaded everything back into the campers. Ivan drove his car while their mother and Phil rode in the campers with the kids to amuse them. They were watching all the trees and playing with each other while the big brothers drove.

***

Eggsy stopped the car, looking at the simple gate that seemed to lead to an overgrown field. He looked at Roxy and Faith, who was in the back, then put the pass Merlin had given him into the pass reader. The gate opened while a slip of paper printed out. He read it, following the directions on it. He misjudged the last by a few feet so he ran into another plinth but gently enough not to damage anything or set off the airbags. He backed up and took the turn the slip said, pulling in underneath a low hanging branch of trees. Suddenly there was a large house. He stopped the car, staring at it. "Magic?" he guessed.

Roxy looked and pointed. "Projector."

Eggsy sighed, parking and getting out. "Think it's Merlin's long lost sister, yeah?"

"No," Roxy said. "He was smiling like it was the kiddies."

"He does like the kids," Faith said, getting out and closing her door. She looked around, spotting a few things. "The house is still partially hidden. Is this like an estate house?"

Roxy leaned over to look out the side, shrugging. "Most of them are stone instead of wooden German houses." She walked up to the door, knocking. Sure enough, a kid ran out to pounce Eggsy and the others followed to pounce Faith. "See." She smiled, leaning inside. "Oh, hello. Are you watching the kids? They do love Eggsy."

"Yes, dear, my grandchildren have adored him since he met them." She smiled. "Come inside, boys and ladies." She took the pass from Eggsy's hand, looking at it. "I have to copy it. There's only a few of these and we'll need one to come visit." She smiled, patting Faith's cheek. "Welcome, dear. I'm the twins' mother. Victoria Winslow."

"Faith," she said, shaking her hand. "I had no idea the twins had class."

"They've inherited some but haven't polished it yet." She winked at the two spies, taking them inside. "Children, Gray's cooking stew. He's got vegetables." They ran that way, one trying to tug Eggsy. "I'll bring him. You run ahead." She nodded, running off before all the veggies were eaten. She smiled. "This is the twins' fallback spot to protect them and the children. We did so talk them into bringing us up." She led them back to the kitchen.

Ivan smiled, waving at them. "Welcome, children. Gray just went to take a call from Buffy. Phil's still being nagged by his higher ups." He watched his elder son walk past him, taking the phone. "Dear, do not nag my son. I will make sure he has to retire to raise some charming children, who will like us just as much as the twins' children do." He handed the phone back, making Victoria smile at him.

"No, Maria, I'm not seeing someone," Phil said as he walked off shaking his head. "My mother's vowed to introduce me to some nice spies who want to have children so I can donate to that cause." She choked and he winced. "No, my lifesign monitor going off is due to the protections around the twin's house. That's fine. Yes, I'm fine. I'm sure I'm fine, Maria. The twins would pull out artillery if I wasn't fine." He hung up on her groaning.

The twins came out of the office, pausing to hug Faith on their way out back. "Get away from the pool without adult help!" Xander yelled. "NOW!" The kids ran back inside to talk to Eggsy and Faith. Roxy just got petted a few times.

Eggsy smiled at them. "You should ask Roxy about her puppy. She's got a poodle." They gave her a wide eyed look of awe. She settled down with pictures of her puppy. They babbled at her about dogs.

Gray looked at them. "You're not getting a hellhound puppy. Sorry." They went back to the kitchen to work on that night's dinner. The kids followed, getting veggies they ran back to nibble with their favorite people.

Eggsy looked at the twins. "What's this place?"

"Hidden," they said together with a grin.

"Even from the Council," Xander added.

"But we got told to introduce you to some of our friends so they can tell you stuff we might need to hear," Gray said while stirring.

"Also it'll give you a place to hide from Harry," Xander said. "Since all electronics that aren't specially shielded have died." Roxy pulled out her cellphone. "Just recharge it once you're out of range, Roxy."

"Thanks." She looked at them. "Do phones work up here at all?"

"When we shield them," Xander agreed, smiling at her. "Which means only you guys and Merlin know it's here."

She nodded. "If I can show up when I need a rest, that'd be great."

"Clean up after yourself, don't go naked in the pool because we might show up suddenly," Gray said, turning to grin at her. "Unless you want to. We won't mind."

She blushed, shaking her head. "I'm not like that. Thanks anyway."

Eggsy shook his head but was smiling at Faith. "There was talk about getting you more proper clothes too. That way you don't have ta smack another bloke in the street again."

She shrugged. "I'm used to the ass lookers. They just can't touch. That suit stuff is uptight."

"Yeah but handy," Eggsy said. "Even if I still think I look like a dork. It's the uniform though."

"I'm not good on uniforms," Faith said.

"Did you hear that all the Arab and African slayers got united by their new defense groups?" Xander asked.

She snorted. "I heard and warned that the first time they went back to the old ways I'd be there with you to beat 'em to death."

"We have stuff here for that," Xander quipped, smirking at her.

"This is our drop for stuff we can't carry in the campers," Gray said.

Roxy stared at them. "You have more weapons?"

"Not like we can take on everything with a sword or axe," Xander quipped, smiling at her. "Even we need more than that."

"Can we see?" Faith asked.

"The kids will want to help pet them," Gray said, shaking his head. "Wait for after bedtime."

"Sure. I can be patient." She looked at the spies, including Phil, who were giving the twins odd looks. "We're used to the weird collections around the Council. It can't be as bad as Andrew's comic collection."

"That's worth some real money," Gray told her.

She nodded. "It's in a special vault at some sort of document storage company." They nodded. "It's worth that much?"

"Right now it's worth some, later on it'll be worth a lot more." Xander grinned. "I don't have that. Mine have been read and loved with fingerprints. Those are specially sealed."

Faith shook her head. "I don't know why."

"It's a geek thing and you've never been a geek," Xander quipped. "Oh, finished fixing your crossbow. It's in Gray's camper." She went to find the garage and her crossbow. She came back looking it over. "Not that one, Faith, your special one you favor."

"It's stuck to the seat. The glue dripped."

Xander went to get it, handing it over. "It was a protection so the kids couldn't play with it." She smiled, checking it over before hanging it off her belt. "C'mon, I'll show you guys to rooms for the night." He led them off. Their family followed to nose around. The kids ran in to help since their favorite people were going to play somewhere they weren't. Including the armory when Xander let them into the sword part.

Eggsy looked around then at them. "Guns, bruv?"

Xander grinned, pointing at the kids. "Later."

"Fine." They dropped stuff and went back down to the kitchen. The stew was done so they ate, got the kids up to their beds fairly easily since they were actually tired, and then went to the other armory. Eggsy looked. "They're not near each other?"

"That's the auxiliary sword storage," Xander said with a shrug. "For the extras that won't fit in the main vault and in case you're stuck in that part of the house." He opened the main door, which looked like a regular door with a passcard and fingerprint system. "Fingerprints only work with ours, and it does test for bloodflow and fake skins. Passcards would be for anyone else. They're in the office in the righthand desk drawer. It opens automatically when the security system goes off, otherwise it's locked to our fingerprints." His mother nodded, smiling at him for that precaution. They walked into the main vault, staring around. Eggsy looked at the racks of handguns, petting one. Faith petted the knives across the way. "Bullets," Xander said with a point.

"That's sweet," Eggsy said, looking in there. "One's got an expiration date?"

"Yeah. We're replacing them tomorrow." They walked into the other room, and Ivan moaned, making his wife grip his arm as she got happy too. Xander looked in there and grinned at them. "Won it mostly. Some are from dates."

Ivan looked at his son. "Is this all of them?"

"No." He smiled. "But we gotta have some pets." He let them look around while he checked the inventory on the tablet in there.

Faith leaned on his arm to look over his shoulder. "Wow."

"Yeah. For the girls." He grinned at her. "Because you need it sometimes."

She nodded. "Definitely. Why didn't this show up in London?"

"It did. Three-quarters of the artillery we used was from here."

"Wow." She went to look, petting a few things. Eggsy smiled at her nearly posing on top of something while she petted it. Roxy was shivering in pleasure as she petted things. Eggsy kept his horny, young guy thoughts out of it. Though it was sweet that Victoria nearly pounced Ivan in there on top of the sniper rifles. He nudged Faith and nodded. She poked Roxy to follow them to give the elder couple some time. Phil was blushing but in the handgun area.

Eggsy looked at Xander. "Where's the rest?"

Xander grinned. "What rest?"

"Uh-huh. Can I tell Merlin?"

"Only if he's going to volunteer some gear for it. If so, we might cuddle him for it but I doubt he's into us so we couldn't make out for the new gear."

Eggsy shook his head. "I don't think so either. I think he's got someone but not sure who." He went to look around the rest of the area. He found another locked door but that was the office from what he'd seen outside earlier. He kept exploring, running into Roxy later that night in the attic. They went downstairs together, finding the fun room. It had a pool table, a small collection of beers, and a huge tv with movies. She looked into a room and blushed so he glanced in. It was obviously set up to have slightly kinky sex in since there were handcuffs. They ran into Phil in the kitchen. "Sexy room downstairs."

"I'm pretty sure that's a captive's room, not for kinky things," Phil said dryly, smiling at the young ones. "The twins hate handcuffs and they mentioned keeping a date in there for his own good for a week." He finished pouring coffee for himself. "I put on hot water too." Roxy made herself tea. Eggsy was shaking his head but smiling. "Did you find the other armory?"

"Not yet," he admitted. "You think it's under the pool or someat?"

"Could be knowing those two." He sipped his coffee, smiling at his father when he wandered in. "Did you two find the other armory?"

"No, but we were not looking for them. Your mother was looking over the nursery. There's a closet in there that's locked so probably to defend them." He got his own tea, smiling at the two young ones. "We would hope that you two form the same sort of group that Philip and your Merlin has. Sometimes that's the best way of surviving. It's helped our group immensely." He walked off, letting his beloved steal his tea. He had made it for her anyway.

Phil smiled. "Their group of friends is very badass. I hope I can be that badass when I'm a decade older, much less at their age." He walked off happier.

Roxy and Eggsy shared a look then nodded. "It could be helpful," she decided.

"As long as they don't expect me to give it up for 'em like Merlin, Phil, and that Giles guy did."

She shivered. "Together?"

"Separately on spring breaks," he said with a smirk.

She walked off thinking dirty thoughts about that. It was a happy making thought.

Eggsy went outside to look in the pool in case he could find the hidden door out there. He found something around the stairs but that could be a switch to make it a ramp instead. He'd check that out during his laps in the morning. The twins wouldn't mind.

The twins really were the best buds a young spy could have. Even if someone would expect him to give up dick to them some day.

The End.