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The insanity of Xander proving what he's learned and how he relates to native...

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New Slayers, New Things, New Problems.

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He had to figure out how soon that was. He slowed his breathing down, not caring that someone petted his back. He looked back. Apparently it was a bad nightmare night because that was Wade. No Cable though. He checked the date on his phone then got up to take down the most detailed notes he could. Shit this was going to be bad. Worse than Cuba indeed.

"I don't care if it was a vision, lay back down," Wade grumbled as he hauled Xander back to bed. "Be a better unicorn."

Xander grinned and hugged him but went to make notes once Wade was out again. His first one was a call to Giles. "It's me, I had another vision in a vision." Giles cleared his throat and asked if it was as bad as the First Evil. "Yup, Thanos." Giles spluttered and clearly poured himself a drink. "You'll want the rotgut scotch, Giles." He sent over an outline of the vision. "That's the outline, I'll flesh it out in a few minutes." Cable stomped in. "Wade's sleeping finally."

"Good! Why aren't you?"

"Visions suck ass," he said dryly. "Visions inside visions suck ass exponentially." He printed it and held it up. "As you pointed out in part of it, you're better trained in tactics than I am. Give me a better idea?"

Cable looked at it and his natural eye went wide then he winced. "That's fucking horrifying. As bad as Apocalypse."

"He's coming in three years."

"Good to know." He walked off rereading to get into the information it had. "I want the full account."

"Yup, working on it now. Just don't let me fall asleep first."

Cable came back and moved the phone. "Let me read them." He put his natural hand on Xander's head and scanned the visions, wincing at it. "Fuck us all," he complained. "Okay." He knocked him out and put down the full vision then sent it. "Giles, I sent it for him. He's resting the headache before he does something stupid. Also, he left a part out." He hung up and hauled Xander up to toss him back into bed.

That had to be fought. Quickly. Wade snuffled and pulled Xander closer to rub against while muttering about Vanessa. Cable went to talk to someone who could handle a real war. "Castle." The guy looked up from his drinking. Cable sat down and put the vision in front of him. "In three years we have one that's just as bad."

Castle read it, grimacing. "Can we end it?"

"Yup. Some'll be easier. Dawn's part is good. It's workable. The rest...."

"Yeah, that'll be a war," he agreed, putting it back onto the table. "How soon?"

"Late fall. After Halloween. He's barely told Thor that he has to go save Asgard from his batty sister, Death."

Frank Castle grimaced. "That's really weird, even for Thor." Cable smirked. "Can we waylay it?"

"If we can get the soul stone from the planet it's on? Maybe. It'll take a sacrifice."

"I saw how he fixed it. Can he?"

"Maybe. Taking it from there will require someone else's sacrifice."

"Would he do that?"

"No. He has to help the slayers." Dawn appeared and walked over, looking calm and sleepy. "Dawn," he said with a nod.

She smiled and patted him on the arm. "I saw. Cordelia made sure of it. Yeah, I can do that. He's still immortal but you can cut off his head. Unlike Wade, he'll die." She patted Frank on the hand. "Use the biggest thing you can and just blow his head the fuck off. Get Heimdall to get you there so you protect Thor and his people. Before he finds Loki and kills him? We could probably use him if you fail." Castle nodded, finishing his beer. "Good." She looked at Cable. "Any other ideas?"

"How long?"

"Can I do it? It'll take a month to protect the Sanctum. To get that fixed? He's stubborn." She got up and left, taking a cab to the Sanctum Sanctorum. She had copied the vision for him. She smiled at the quiet. It was nice it was quiet. Her magic wasn't going to set off any of the protections or wake up Wong. Maybe she'd get him to protect them instead of her. She snuck up the stairs to the main bedroom, sneaking into it. Stephen really did sleep deeply for a guy who was under a lot of threats.

She sat beside him on the bed and reached for his amulet. He caught her hand, staring at her. She held up the vision. He scowled but snatched it to read. Then he sighed and went limp as he muttered to the Vishanti to save them. "I can help you protect them. But it has to be removed. Not for good but until he's gone again. As many as we can we have to move." She tapped the amulet's case while staring at him. "A choice is me to take it with the others and protect it off realm. In a whole other world that doesn't have any stones. I can take someone like Wong if you want."

"Wong was important to the battle," he said.

She nodded. "I know." She shifted to curl up some. "If you have someone else you want to nominate, I'm with that. But we've got to do the protections. You need a second in the ritual to do the higher level protections. I can brew the virginity potion and anchor the North with Wong."

"Do you perhaps like him?"

"He reminds me of a younger Xander. I'm not into brother fucking." He scowled but nodded, putting his head back down. "We have under four months and it'll take two months of multiple rituals to fully ward the Sanctuary. Want me to start on the warding patterns or would you like to help?"

"I will help at a reasonable hour. Let me get one last night of sleep?"

She smiled. "It's something all warriors want sometimes. And we never get." She stood up. "Let me go hit my usual couch. Your girlfriend did good according to the vision. Scared but she did good. I can brew enough of that potion for multiple works if we need it." She went down to the couch.

Stephen Strange, man who had more experience in weird things than he wanted to admit, groaned and covered his head with a pillow. The world needed to leave his people and house alone!

***

Dawn looked at herself then at the starting sorcerer the next morning. "I'm here to up the wards, Wong. I made coffee."

"Is it that necessary?" he asked.

"Yup. Because we're all fucked in about four months when the big purple guy comes." She pointed at the sheet of paper on the table. He looked it over and groaned, moving to make some tea. "Hot water," she said with a point. "I'm making biscuits too. We'll need food to go over the warding pattern and up it. It'll be huge, ancient rituals." She grinned at him. "Two months of magic rituals."

He hung his head but nodded. "That will be hard."

"The alternative is a snap that destroys half of everyone." She stared at him. "Which do you want?"

"Learning ritual magic sounds much nicer of an outcome," he decided, pouring water over his tea leaves. "The Sorcerer Supreme?"

"I woke him up with that charming news." She grinned. "You and I, we'll be handling the North end of the ritual," she said quietly. "It has space for a pole of support and a non member." He nodded, settling in to look over that vision again. Stephen came in scowling but handed him the rest of it. She smiled at him. "Biscuits are going in soon."

"Why did you make breakfast?"

"Because I never get to at home. Cooking for myself is boring and this is a great way to wear out stress before the PTB use this to take out most of the slayers, like they've been wanting to do. Or other beings use it to take advantage." Stephen stared. She nodded. "We know they will. Humans will go against Xavier's school. And possibly here. The slayers can't help much and will hate going into hiding again but we'd all die if Bruno was killed. Or if Xander has to save everyone by sacrificing himself to stop the soul stone."

He slumped but nodded. "Thank you for making coffee and breakfast, Dawn."

"Welcome. Wong and I can do the north end of the rituals. He's a strong pole for the Order to lean on. I can take the non-involved spot. Ethan can take the South non-involved spot if you ask him. He emailed me at five to let me know that he had been shown by Janus." He nodded. "Making that potion will take about four days total and I can make it by the gallon jug if you need it for her. There's seven possible ways of doing the rituals and six of them would require pain and self sacrifice but will shatter if the one that does that dies."

"I don't like that idea very much," he admitted. "I'll look them over. Wait on making the potion?"

"I can do that. We have time to figure it out."

He nodded. "That is the only saving grace at this moment." He sipped his coffee and added sugar. She had made it strong. Wong stared at him. "We need the protections upped anyway."

"In three years, Apocalypse shows up," Dawn quipped. "So just as bad."

"Which realm would hold them safely?" Wong asked.

Dawn smiled at him. "We'll use the Xander convention network." He shivered but nodded. She finished cutting out the biscuits and put them into the oven she had cleaned earlier. She joined them at the table, handing over a bag. "Mine from home so they can be tossed into a closet somewhere. That way they can't be used."

"We can go over the inventory later. I got gifted with that vision after you went to the couch," Stephen complained, sipping his coffee. She grinned. "It could be worse."

"Yeah, we could be losing everyone instead of half." She grimaced, staring at him. "We could be having all your nasties out and helping Thanos."

"Good point. Is there anyone who is skilled in ritual magic?" She shrugged. "You don't know?"

"I work with artifacts, not rituals usually outside protection ones, Stephen. A few banishings and funneling the demons into something. I've looked at the books but I'm not an adept at it or anything. You might ask Ethan. He's said he'd be willing to help after Janus showed him."

"I may." He considered it. "I'm not well versed in ritual magic either."

"Yes but you're the head of the order so it has to be led by you. The rest of us support and channel for you."

"I realize that. Do we have any information on it?"

"The mages group might and you could find the one you'll still need by the vision there."

"I'll ask them later." He finished his coffee, getting up to get more. He checked the biscuits but she got up to take them out and handed him two still warm ones. Wong got a plate with two too and the jam was put onto the table.

"From my fridge. It's pomegranate and strawberry."

Wong looked at her. "Are you pregnant?"

She pinched him on the cheek. "I've always eaten like this, dear. My sister used to ask me that weekly." He blushed. She kissed him on the cheek. "I think of you like I used to think of Xander, Wong. Relax. I'm not into brother fucking." He burst out giggling but it sounded nervous and he was blushing again. "Relax."

"I will." He got up to make some more tea then came back to fix his biscuits. They were so warm the jam melted and got gooey on top of it. Stephen did his own but Dawn got books to go over ritual spells and how you conducted them. She had to blush at some things but it was important they had to handle it. A few more people came in so Dawn got up to make more coffee, handing one of them a cup and pointing at the water for tea. She got an odd look. So she held up the vision. That got a mass groan from the new sorcerers. Wong looked at them. "We'll have to bring up better protections."

Dawn looked up at them with a grin. "Since my speciality is protections for artifacts.... and I can kinda do a few other things. If I was more powerful I might be able to summon something during the battle but I'm not." Stephen glared. "Seriously. Me in another realm did that." He slumped, shaking his head. "But she's got seven or so of the *special* things in her."

Stephen moaned into his coffee. "That poor realm."

"She has kids. Some went into them." She grinned. "Including a son who really likes kilts, ponies, and swords. Plus leather and velvet."

Stephen tried not to smile. "I'm sure he'll have much fun doing Ren Faire things when he's older," he said, trying to stay nice. She grinned and kicked him under the table. "Behave, Dawn, or find yourself in a closet."

"Uh-huh. That might protect me but I doubt it." She stared at him. "You really should read that book again."

He got up to get that book, coming back reading up on the Key. He figured out what she meant and mentally moaned loudly enough to almost be heard by normal people. Dawn was just grinning at him. He slapped the book closed and put it onto the counter, away from the mess. "Wonderful. Our overseeing beings will be pleased."

"They'll be pleased if we don't all die from it," Dawn quipped. She finished her coffee. "Guys, I made biscuits when I couldn't sleep." They got some and her jam, settling in to eat. When more came in, Stephen cleared his throat and told them what the problem was, making sure the vision was seen by all of them. Dawn waved a hand. "I work with artifact protection and I'm helping up the protections here. We're short probably one to two people by what I know of the protection rituals."

"What if we do a different type?" one asked her.

Dawn looked at him. "Then one of you has to sacrifice your life force to power them and if you die, they fall."

"Good enough," he decided. "The other ones I know of take higher level rituals." She nodded. "Where would we get things for that?"

"Well, if we go with one version I can make a potion for whoever he uses for the channeling duties, that way they fit the requirements." A few blushed. "There's another possible version we may be able to layer on top and that would take channeling but not that personal of energy. For that we may be able to drain some of Xander's hellmouth taint," she said, looking at Stephen. Who nodded while drinking coffee. She looked at them again. "I'll be dropping all the artifacts I have in safety in a closet just in case."

"Because if the one coming finds her, he can shortcut his desires," Stephen said. Dawn nodded at that but shrugged at the end. "We can put you in a closet."

"Then you're vulnerable."

"Point," he admitted. "We could send Wong to watch that."

She stood up to look at him. "Send him with me since you trust him. That way you don't worry during the battle."

He tipped his head. "I do trust your protections, Dawn."

She patted him on the arm. "Of course you do. But you're doing your sworn duty by being paranoid."

"I'll send one of the young ones with you. I'll need Wong for the battle," he decided. She shrugged but nodded. "Are there things there we should worry about?"

"Higher level hell lords?" She shrugged but grinned. "Wow, what a shock, demons," she finished sarcastically.

"Point. You have dealt with many of those." A few of the others were giving her odd looks. "Her sister is the senior slayer." Everyone went 'ahhh' and nodded then drank something. Stephen sighed, making more coffee and drinking some. "We will go over the wards today. We have options for rituals and about four months to get the work done."

"We can go over what you have and what I usually use," Dawn agreed, putting on more water for tea. "Plus the various methods in the books." Everyone nodded and went to the library. Stephen stopped her to stare at her. "I don't mean to usurp," she said quietly.

"You do lead well."

"Yeah, I had to learn in case I have to lead a slayer house some year. A lot of teenage girls are worse than a bunch of magic users usually." She went to get the protections she used to add to the ones they already had.

Stephen finished his newest cup of coffee, then followed along after refilling his mug. Wong got more tea and followed.

***

Wade woke up to a bad sight. Cable was in full 'fuck you' mode it looked like. Though no guns. "Did I fart and blow up the world or something? It's too early for that evil shit look."

"No, Wade. Go get coffee. Someone's had visions that showed how horrible an upcoming thing was and how to solve it." Wade looked at Xander then at him. "I know he's out of his body. Just go get coffee. We have four months until Thanos gets here and I need you to fill in for Xander's wacky plan spot so I can lock him in a closet."

Wade sat up with a groan. "Why?"

"Because the end step to save the battle would require a sacrifice, dumbass."

"Don't you dare volunteer," Wade said, glaring at him.

"Not me."

"Me?" he guessed. Cable slapped him on the side of the head. "Well, that explains that look," he decided, getting out of the bed. "He can't do that. He has some sort of gift that ends nightmares."

"He's so scary they flee from him," Cable said dryly. "Go get coffee. The girls are at school."

"Fine. Tell me how many times I have to die this time."

"Shut up, Wade!" Cable complained. "It's not you!" Wade winced but sighed as he went to the kitchen. Cable poked Xander until he got sent back from being nagged by Cordelia and Whistler. Xander blinked at him, frowning. "The downside of being a telepath is that I can read your visions," he said dryly.

"If it has to happen, it does. That's what we're all here for." He flipped off the other side of the bed, heading for the bathroom. "You'd do the same thing so shut the hell up." He slammed the bathroom door.

Wade came back with cups of coffee. "I brought coffee," he called into the bathroom.

"That's fine. Thanks," Xander called back.

Wade sipped his, putting Xander's on the dresser. He looked at Cable. "He's right, we'd all do it."

"He...."

Wade held up a hand. "You did the same thing coming back in time, Nathan. I'd do the same thing if I could because it's just that important. It's what makes us big hero studs." He stared at him. "Xander has things he has to take into account beyond what we do but all of us would do the same damn thing."

Xander opened the door. "I can make it take me later on. So when I fall in another battle it'll take me then." He stared at Cable. "You have to save the future. Won't help anyone if you're dead." He got his coffee cup and took it to drink while showering.

Wade nodded. "He's right but I'm going to start shoving anti-depressants down his throat." He finished his coffee while leaning on the dresser. "What did you want him to do? Curl up and swear because no one else will?"

"No!"

"Then we've got to come up with a way to get around it."

"I have one. I need a way to get Castle where he needs to be with a better weapon."

"The poker buddies probably can't," Xander called. "Or I would've already went there to stop him."

Cable sighed, looking at Wade, who shrugged back. "You and I could do it easier," he said quietly.

Wade nodded. "We could. Can we kill him?"

"Beheading would probably work. Or blowing his head apart."

Xander came out with soap bubbles on him. "It'd take a specially blessed weapon on the level of Thor's hammer. It'd also take split second timing to land on the ship from Asgard to stop him from killing Loki." He stared at Cable. "You don't have that and you can't use those sort of weapons since they don't fire and they're not knives. Can you please quit treating me like I'm an imbecile rookie since I've been doing this since I was sixteen?" He went back to his shower.

"When's your birthday?" Wade called.

"Never. I don't celebrate it."

Wade found Xander's license to look at, frowning. "He has it smudged out." He pulled it out to look at and the smudges stayed. So magic probably. He held it up. Cable shook his head. "Any idea?"

"July?"

"Not likely," Xander called.

"Shut the fuck up!" Russell yelled. "I'm trying to sleep in since I'm not being tortured by girls!"

"Fuck off and get up to go do pushups," Xander yelled back. "You have fifty of them to do before breakfast for being a mouthy little shithead!" Russell made a whining noise but did go to do those in the sparring room. Xander sighed, finishing his shower. He got out and Wade stole it before he could turn off the water. "Sure. Have fun." He took the empty mug with him to put on clothes around Cable being in his way.

Cable stopped him by grabbing him. "Who'll watch those girls if you're not here?"

"Dawn? Penny and Brad? Piotr?" He got free. "I'll do what I have to do, the same as we *all* do, Cable. It's the job as we know it. Having people who look up to us just makes it harder." He stared at him. "Not like they don't look up to you the same way."

"I can take him out."

"You can't use a sword very well. Or an axe."

"Your special one?"

"Not blessed enough."

"Damn it."

"We need mystical, dwarven created weapons. Which are rare as hell. The ones down here can't do that." He stared up at him. "What do you want me to do, sob?" he asked quietly. "I've been doing this shit longer than Wade has. Quit treating me like I'm an idiot rookie without a damn clue!"

"Fine." He stepped back. "You have a wacky plan."

"No, I have an idea. It requires saving Loki though. It requires Dawn falling into line and doing what she needs to. Which she will because she's got enough sense to never be a hero unless she's forced to. Unlike us." He walked around him while pulling on a shirt. "I'm making more coffee."

"I left a few cups but Russell finished and got some," Cable said. He considered it. Xander had him blocked so he couldn't read his mind. Wade's was in turmoil. So they were all thinking bad thoughts today apparently. Cable went downstairs to join the duo in the kitchen. "Russell, they're going to call you to work with X-Force this time. We'll need it."

"I can do that," he agreed. "I'm not that young. I've been training for that stuff." He stared at him. "I know I'm not your favorite person but I damn sure don't want to die from Grimace's uglier cousin."

"Actually Cable and Thanos look like they could be cousins if Cable was purple," Xander said dryly. Cable glared at him. "Really." He looked at the kid. "Battles aren't nice. They're not easy. Expect to puke afterwards. Get back to PT sooner because you need stamina for that sort of thing. Just like the girls do for more than patrols." Russell grimaced but nodded. "And quit being so mouthy before I cast a blessing to make you a holy warrior that'll never get laid because it's against the honor code unless you're married and no one marries holy warriors. It'd be like marrying a telepreacher who was poor."

"Eww," Russell complained. "Isn't that child abuse?"

"Nope." Xander grinned. "It'll make you a moral, uptight sort. They would consider that great with the way you swear."

"Fuck," Russell muttered but nodded. "I'll be less mouthy."

"Thanks." He got back to his coffee. Wade came down the stairs. "Did you remember to shut off the water?"

"Yeah. I did. Quit stressing about the bills."

"They didn't pay them yet again," Xander said dryly. "I have to. Plus the house payment and the electric."

Cable shook his head with a sigh. "They need straightened out."

"They and the PTB all hate me," Xander quipped with a wave of his coffee cup. "Every last one of them do. Even Giles and he was like a parental figure for years." He shrugged. "Frankly, I'm about minutes from walking off and if I didn't feel responsible for the girls I might've." He went back to drinking.

"You need drugs," Wade told him. "A lot of fucking drugs."

"Probably just make it worse," Xander complained into his coffee.

"He needs to eat too," Russell complained. "He didn't even try to deal with breakfast."

Xander looked at him. "You're old enough to make toast. And you're taking cooking lessons this summer if you survive."

"Yeah, fine." He slumped. "Can you make pancakes?"

Xander shook his head. "Don't have any mix. Someone stole it. Probably Dawn because she's been craving biscuits."

Russell pouted. "That sucks."

"Sorry, kiddo. We have real food. You can scramble a few eggs if you want." Russell looked horrified. "Hey, you gotta be able to feed yourself, kid. Not everywhere has McDonald's. For that matter, a lot of places are catch your own food to kill and cook it. I have a *great* recipe for scorpion gumbo." Russell looked like he wanted to puke. "And monkeys on a spit." He finished his coffee. Wade got up to make scrambled eggs, pulling Russell over to help him.

Cable leaned back in his chair. "My timeline has food issues that same way. You're damn lucky if you get enough." Xander nodded. "How did you handle big demons in Africa? This probably isn't the first immortal one."

Xander snorted, looking at him. "We usually had under two weeks warning, if we were lucky and had more than a 'oh shit now' call going on. I spent most of that time blackmailing and winning or stealing weapons and people to fight in it."

Cable slumped. "That sucks ass."

"Yup." Xander nodded. "It sure does." He yawned. "But that's reality."

"Maybe I want to be an X-Man instead," Russell complained.

"Hey, die young and in a battle," Wade quipped. "It's about the same thing only spandex rides up your ass if you're not wearing the right underwear." He paused. "If you wear underwear under it. A few I can't find a hint of thong so they're probably commando and letting it all swing. Not my way of doing it but you never know."

"They could be wearing the under armor stuff," Xander reminded him. "They're boxer briefs but wick sweat."

"I don't think Cyclops does. His suit's tight enough to see even that line. So unless he's got invisible ones, he's free ballin'."

"Eww," Cable complained loudly.

"Sorry, oh great one," Xander quipped. He looked at Wade again. "Then again, you don't usually wear a thong either."

"Jock strap only. Gives me some support," he said with a smirk. "Let's see what you'd do in spandex, Xander."

"Stripper's pouch." He grinned. "Jock straps hit me in the wrong spot and the cups never fit right." He looked at his mouthy, swearing protege. "We need to get you outfitted before the battle too. You can't really go into one in a ripped t-shirt and jeans unless they pulled you out of bed."

"Mate, I know I'm fat. This lard ass does not fit into spandex," Russell complained.

"We can start with camo or tac pants and work up from there," Cable assured him. "He's right. No one will respect you in that outfit." He looked at Xander.

"Leather," Xander said without having to look to see the looks he was getting.

"In Africa?" Wade demanded. "You'll sweat to death."

"It's light armor."

"We can find you kevlar. They even make normal people clothes with kevlar," Wade complained. He stared at his buddy. "We can find you all sorts of stuff with kevlar."

"It's too confining."

"And leather isn't?" Cable asked.

"No. I wore leather in a lot of battles." He shrugged. "I'll be sweaty anyway."

"Where did you get leather in Africa?" Russell asked, looking confused.

Xander snorted, grinning at him. "There are cows in Africa, and major cities that have stores and malls and all that shit. Plus mine were a special gift from a goddess I saved." He finished another cup of coffee. "I do need new boots though. I was going to hit the Army/Navy store for those next week if I ever get paid. Or maybe I'll just sue Giles for not making the necessary payments."

He considered it while nibbling on the toast Wade put into his hand. "Well, maybe I'll go ask an ex. He'd be helpful and he likes shoes." He tipped his head the other direction. Cable used his telekinesis to move the toast up to his mouth. Xander ate another bite absently while thinking about it. By the end of the piece of toast he was asleep on the table.

Russell shook his head. "He does that all too often," he said quietly. "His bosses are sack nibbling jackasses."

"He'd quit but it'd leave those same jackasses in charge of the girls," Cable reminded him. "Which is why they're doing this."

"I get that but they still need a bat to the head sometimes. Two of them tried to tell the slayers they didn't need an education because they were too weak to be good slayers and would die in a battle."

"I heard," Wade assured him with a grin. "Oh I heard. Penny made sure I knew they'd come for Xander."

"Pity for them if they do," Cable agreed.

Russell looked at them. "I thought you two might be boning but you keep napping with Xander and no boning noises. Is he just really quiet?"

"He's got a gift that means nightmares aren't as bad," Wade said, swatting the kid on the head. "It means we get sleep and he sleeps better when he's not alone too."

"Oh. I guess that's why the girls all pile in the tv room sometimes to sleep over." Cable nodded. "Huh. Is that...."

"Sometimes," Wade said. "Sometimes you're lucky and you don't have many. I don't know how Xander does it because I'd have so many from some of his battles." He finished up the eggs, handing them plates so he could sit down and eat. They had plans to make to lock Xander in a closet so he couldn't sacrifice himself. "Are we going shopping for ass plugs today or closer to the battle? We should probably go earlier so we make sure they're comfortable enough to use during the battle."

Cable looked at him. "You sure it'll be needed?"

"Yup. There's been a few locally I wanted one for." He stared at him. "You can't tell me you don't want one after seeing those battle videos."

"No, I can't lie that way," he admitted. He stuffed his mouth. "I can't see how it'd be comfortable enough to not distract you."

"They make tiny ones," Wade quipped. "Just barely holding your ass closed."

Russell looked at him. "Why?"

"You ever seen half of a planet coming toward you to kill you?" Wade asked. Russell shuddered. "Or those battles Xander had in Africa?" Xander grunted so Cable gently nerve jabbed him to put him back out.

"I saw that on tv, even though we weren't supposed to," Russell admitted, looking disgusted. "Yeah, that might take an ass plug. Is silicone easier than something like metal ones?"

"Definitely more flexible than metal ones. Comfort comes with sizing and texture." Wade ate another bite, looking Xander over. He looked at Cable. "Any other things he hid?"

"He was trying to get a last night's stand and asked Weasel where to go for it. Weasel tried to drop him off on your couch while we were destressing." Wade quirked up an eyebrow bone. "Xander fought it off but it took three hours out of his pre-battle night."

"That sucks. Weasel did try to get me to dick Xander down plenty of times. And Domino."

"Do girls watch gay guys like guys watch lesbians?" Russell asked.

"Yup, they can," Wade quipped. "Vanessa did."

"Huh. I need a girl like that some day."

"You need to man up before then and finish growing up," Cable said. "Until then you're just a boy and women like his wife or mine don't go for boys." Russell sighed but nodded.

"You've got a few years, kid," Wade reminded him. "You're not even old enough to date by the house rules." He smirked at him. "So you've got years of perfecting your skills with your hand and your pillows." Russell shuddered. "We all had to start somewhere, kid."

"I've seen porn," he complained.

"Yeah, that's not how it happens and girls hate a lot of that shit," Wade explained. "Nothing is as easy as it is in any sort of movie."

"That sucks."

"Yeah but unless you're paying for it, it's all complicated," Cable told him. "And messy."

"Very," Wade agreed. "But then so is life." He smirked at the kid. "You'll grow up and hopefully find someone at least decent enough for you." He heard a knock and got up to answer the door. "Yes, ma'am?" he asked. He recognized her from a time he had to rush in and grab a slayer out of a class to handle something huge that was trying to eat a daycare but it took a woman to kill.

"I'm Ms. Dershar. Is Mr. Harris not here?"

"Asleep on the table because we knocked him out. He hasn't slept in two days. Can the rest of us help him?"

"The people who are supposed to be supporting the girls aren't."

Wade grimaced. "Let's go to the office so I can call down there. Frankly, a lot of them are anti-Xander and hate that the girls are supported." He led her that way. She spotted Russell. "He's home schooling because he can't handle socialization at the moment. Xander has him doing some remedial work because the orphanage sucked." He dialed the computer to get Giles' computer. "This is one of the principals. She came to talk about the tuition." He got out of the way so she could talk to Giles while he listened.

The other watchers got mad about them going to decent schools but she pointed out that most of the girls were going to college. They had to have a life. They tried to argue with her. Wade leaned in again with a grin for them. "You know, since you're supposed to be doing it, Xander can sue you for all the things he has to pay for that you're supposed to be handling for him. Including the house's bills." He smirked a tiny bit. "For an ancient corporation you've managed the evil parts without the socially responsible cover stories.

"It's sad that three-quarters of the slayers flip in and out of here while you guys don't do a damn thing." One got huffy but Wade waved a hand. "I actually work on the girls' self defense skills and help them on harder patrols. What have you done?" The man got up to stomp off. He looked at Giles. "Xander's presently knocked out. We had to because he hadn't slept in two days due to the visions."

"Soon?" the principal asked him, looking up.

"After Halloween."

"Oh, good." She sighed and smiled.

"And most of the girls can't fall in. They can't really do anything about an intergalactic asshole who wants to kill half of humanity for shits and giggles. Thankfully, Xander has a plan."

Giles looked at him. "Have we heard that?"

"Buffy's up here somewhere."

"Oh, that's fine. We'll be told when?"

"Probably a few weeks beforehand like usual so he doesn't get bitched at for handling things. Like getting them to the castle, he got a whole lot of complaining that the girls could handle it."

Giles winced. "I remember."

"Now he's getting it for this one. Right now we're trying to set up battle orders. Your girls that volunteered will be protecting some back line fighters with distance weapons. That's their safest and most effective spot."

"That's reasonable. Dawn?"

"Will be guarding a few artifacts."

"Even better. I know she likes that work." He took off his glasses. "I shall check into all that mess, Mr. Wilson."

"Thank you. When can she expect the tuition payment?"

"Within a week. We're sorry that so many problems seem to happen about Xander's house."

"It happens when you're political," she said with a hand wave. "They seem like they are." She hung up and stood up. "Thank you, Mr. Wilson."

"Not a problem. Have a better day." She nodded, walking off.

Wade went back to breakfast. Sometimes pretending to be normal was okay enough and yet still caused enough chaos to make him happy.

***

Xander got a call that night, after he had woken up. "What's up?" he asked, staring at the budget guy. "I heard the principal of one of the schools showed up earlier about the tuition. Did it get straightened out?"

"We pay them directly."

"No, you tried to pay the closed down school but not the other two," Xander said, pulling up the paperwork to scan in so he can see it. "That school got shut down for the epidemic of sexual misconduct."

"The one that showed up earlier?"

"St. Augustine's. It's a good inclusive school. A few of the girls go to a science and math heavy school instead. The ones that went to the whoring school got mostly transferred to the harder school, except the one who couldn't pass their entry tests."

The guy sighed. "We send it."

"You didn't send it. You may authorize it but it never gets off someone's desk. And you also owe me for this month's payments for all the utilities and the mortgage payment."

"Why can't the girls go back to the house we used to rent?" he demanded.

"Um, did you not see all the attacks on it?" Xander asked.

"Well, yes."

"We can't shield that one with a fidelus or anything because it's attached to other buildings. And the address had been in the paper so it negated the protections."

"Oh, I see." He grimaced, looking at things on his computer. "It says we paid it."

"If so it never showed up in the Council's account up here. Or in mine." Xander pulled up a physical file of receipts. "What I paid for when the girls couldn't." The man winced. "I've put in for reimbursement for most of them."

"They probably want you to leave the Council, Harris."

Xander nodded. "I realize that. You guys have had a price on my head since I was seventeen. Still do," he said dryly. He leaned back. "Unfortunately, I'm not going to cave that way. I'll still work with the slayers. They need it because none of the ones down there do."

"I...."

"I go on patrols with my girls. Unless it's too dangerous and then I go by myself. Giles used to handle emergencies in Sunnydale." He shrugged and grinned. "We're here to support the girls into lasting as long as they can and being women while they do it."

"True. A few are still admiring the old ways."

"Which is why social workers show up routinely and then send me or the Sergeant a lot of girls to overload our houses."

"I had forgotten about her." He looked. "She's...her house was shut down?"

"I think she moved hers to the orphan's house because no one else was."

"I see." He considered it. "Yes, they're trying on theirs." He huffed. "It's not like we can take them back singly anyway."

"Especially not by law," Xander quipped. "And the older girls won't let you anyway." He shrugged again but grinned. "Could be worse. The girls are all about to revolt and leave the Council. Just like Buffy did."

"I..." He cleared his throat. "I can see why. Will you please send me that reimbursement file?"

"I've sent most of it up with the forms. I have a few from this month and I'm going to send it in the morning after I go grocery shopping."

"How are you affording this?"

"I can find minor mystical artifacts," Xander said dryly. "And sometimes I sell a few of them to people who like to use them to destroy themselves." He smirked. "It's taken out a lot of problems I don't want to deal with."

"That's reasonable I suppose. Fine. The upcoming problem?"

"Thanos. Infinity stones." The guy shuddered. "We've got a plan going. Three of the people that jump in up here are soldiers or former soldiers. They have the tactical training I only absorbed as I went. They helped."

"That's excellent. The girls?"

"Won't be here. They can't handle a battle against an immortal, intergalactic, genocidal menace with a tacky taste in jewelry."

"No, they couldn't." He considered things. Then he set up the payments, which got blocked by someone's program. "I have no idea what that is."

"Ask Willow if it wasn't hers. Or ask Cindy. She's got some computer skills but not sure how much."

"I can ask her just in case. Give me two days, Xander." He stared at him. "You are most unusual. And stubborn."

Xander blew a kiss. "Thank you for that compliment. It's a nicer one than everyone telling me I'm normal."

"You're not normal, lad. I'm normal. Rupert is mostly normal. You're anything but normal." He hung up and called Cindy to come look at that program. She was upstairs thankfully, sent by a vision that she needed to come help with things thanks to the Messenger Cordelia.

***

Cable watched Xander take a night off at Sister Margaret's, frowning at what he was seeing. The kid didn't drink that way usually. Wade checked his phone and groaned but stopped him from going over there. "What?" he demanded quietly.

"It's an anniversary. He's mourning."

"Who died?"

"His life. It's the anniversary of meeting up with Buffy."

"Oh, damn it."

"Yeah. The girls know he wasn't going to be home tonight." He watched the one guy who went to talk to Xander, but he seemed like he was being pleasant and wasn't going to stab him. That was nice. Xander wrote down an address for him so that was helpful too. The guy left happier. Weasel was staring at Xander, who shrugged and got another drink. Wade walked over, leaning over Xander's shoulder. "You need a ride home later?" he asked, staring down at him.

Xander looked back and up, staring at him. "Nah. The girls don't need to see this and Buffy's hellion sitting tonight." He took a drink. "I don't know why she doesn't have one of these for the night she was Called."

"Girls might not need it." He clapped him on the shoulder. "Should we call you an ex of some sort?"

"All out of the area again. Sucks but that's about usual." He took another drink. "I'll be fine, Wade. Thanks."

"Welcome." He patted him again and went back to the table he was sharing, having to get a new chair since Domino had stolen his. He sat down. "It's the anniversary of when he met Buffy," he said at her curious look.

"Oh, yeah. I'd want a night to think about that stuff too. He's been up here now for two years."

"He started when he was sixteen," Wade told her. She winced. "Yeah. He's on the X-Men scale of fighting for the idiots who hate them."

"He can hear you," Xander said in a sing-song voice. "Quit talking about me like I'm already dead please."

"Sorry," Domino called with a smile and a wave. "Need a lift home?"

"Nope. I'm fine. Thanks though. You can go hang out with the girls if you want."

"Nah. They're probably busy." She looked at Cable, who shrugged slightly. They watched as Xander finished up and left, looking pretty steady. Cable shook his head. The kid looked fine enough. Or they'd hear about a battle.

***

Xander was hiking home through a small, private cemetery when he ran into Buffy, who was glaring at him. "What?" he demanded.

"Why are you drinking?"

"Because this is the anniversary of the day I met you," he shot back. "Shouldn't I celebrate that event?" She flinched back. "Why are you out here? Nothing comes up here."

"There was a meeting we interrupted."

"Oh. Yeah I heard but it wasn't that important and the demonic mafia isn't going to bother the girls too much." He looked at the demon behind him. "Hey." He looked at her again. She was trying to subtly pull her sword. He shook his head. "Any other reason you're out tonight? The girls didn't need to patrol and it's a Wednesday so no good club hunting." The demon huffed. Xander turned to glare at him. "Shoo! I'm talking to her and I'll talk to you in a bit if you have something you need to talk about."

"We will make sure you don't have to mourn another year of hunting," he sneered, pulling out a gun. Xander hit him hard enough to knock him down and took the gun to look at, putting it into his back waistband. He walked off shaking his head. "Hey!" he complained.

"Wow," Buffy said. "Xander still has construction worker muscles." She walked off with a sigh.

"Go do Buffy things," Xander called. "I don't need a chaperone."

"Fine. Whatever. Just wanted to make sure you got back there."

He stopped to look at her. "Buffy, I have a huge tolerance. I could hold three cans of beer and look sober when I was three." She shuddered. "Having drunk parents can be that way. So I'm fine. You go do Buffy things. I'm going to go celebrate surviving another year. Okay?"

"You probably shouldn't be alone. You sound depressed."

He rolled his eyes then sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm not depressed," he said patiently. "I'm just not in the mood for all the shit you give me every single time we talk. I don't want to hear how I'm normal and it's good that I survived this long for being normal and doing the same damn things you do. I don't need that shit tonight. Go. Do. Buffy. Things." He turned and walked off.

"Am I that bad of a friend?" she demanded. He just waved. "Xander!" Someone caught her wrist and she turned to hit them but Logan caught her hand. "Oh, it's you. Am I that mean to him?"

"Yup. You pretty much ruined his self esteem. Maybe that's why he dates arms dealers." He let her go. "He's not doing anything stupid tonight so leave him alone, Buffy. Sometimes you gotta remember." She slumped but nodded. "Without being put down by others for remembering. Go have some fun. I've got some students on training patrol tonight." She pouted as she walked off. Logan watched where Xander had went. They really had to get the kid some stability in his life. Maybe someone could stick him to Deadpool and solve two problems with one mystical gluing.

***

Wade was sitting beside Xander's bed when he woke up, feet up on the end of it, reading a spank magazine. "So, who was the one you lost?" He looked up. "Cable thought it was a real girlfriend sort."

Xander sat up with a sigh, pushing his hair back off his forehead. "No. He's very wrong."

"So who was it?" Wade tossed the magazine onto the bed. "Miss September's cute."

Xander looked at it then at him. "Sorry, not my thing. She's probably not dangerous enough to want me and my wrists would die long before I got happy enough with the picture." He tossed it back.

Wade stared at him. "They make things to help with that."

"Yeah but I'm grossed out by synthetic parts of a whole that looks like some sicko packed a fleshlight with a cunt they stole from a victim."

"Point." He stared at him. "So if it wasn't a girlfriend, who was it?"

"Jesse was...he was my light. I knew him before I could talk. He was my go-to escape point and the reason I made it that long." He looked at his hands then at his buddy. "In all the universes that we convention with, only two didn't miss their Jesse and one was slightly normal because he made that choice and stuck to it even when it nearly killed him and the other one got turned instead." He stared at Wade. "What you got from Vanessa I got from Jesse, without the sex because he was seriously into girls like Cordelia."

Wade shifted, staring back. "So what happened?"

"Vamps were gathering people for the first apocalypse the team handled. They needed more numbers. When we realized he had been taken I demanded Buffy bring me to get him back. And we didn't. The next time I saw him I tried to get him to leave the Harvest attack and ended up staking him." Wade let out a shudder. "My very first one and it saved him from a life of killing because someone shoved him onto my stake," he finished quietly.

"Damn."

"I probably am but that was just a function of Sunnydale." He shifted to pull his feet up. "I know you think it's creepy I have that anniversary mourning but I let myself remember that night and mourn the next year of going on to make sure more kids don't become me."

"I...." He swallowed but nodded. "That's more hardcore than mine was." Xander grinned slightly but shrugged. "I know, we all have our traumas."

"Yeah, and they're all equally bad because what you went through I wouldn't be able to. We all handle what we have to do until we die of it. Or in your case you get blown up by the sun detonating and destroying the earth so you're vaporized."

Wade snorted, looking amused. "I hope not."

"Me too, that'd suck for you."

Wade rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to wait that long."

Xander smirked at him. "You know how you wanted to smash up drugs and run it into an enema for me? We can do the same for you."

"It's more fun to take them the regular way," he shot back. He stared at him. "When is your birthday?"

"None'ya."

"Fine. We could celebrate it. You're probably coming up on twenty-five or something."

"No, you missed a few years. Five years Africa. Three here. Twenty-one when Sunnydale fell in."

"You're nearly thirty!"

"Yeah. I'm the same age you are."

"Damn. You look good."

"It's all exercise and no sleeping I get," Xander said sarcastically.

"Could be." He shifted to cross his feet in the other direction. "So now what?"

"Usually I get up, nag the girls to go to school, nag Russell to do his schoolwork, then I manage to make food. And today's grocery shopping day."

"Penny did half of that and Russell's pouting because she said if he didn't finish this set of classes soon she was going to let the mini witches being trained by Rosenburg have him."

"That's mean!"

"It's the pregnancy."

"So is Halloween," Xander said with a grin.

"I've heard that Bruno's going as me." Xander just grinned. "Is it cute?"

"Very cute." He shifted again. "So you woke me up for that?"

"Yup." He grinned. "You needed to get up. We've got sparring practice and Cable's grumpy."

"If I get him down and noiseless I get today off, right?"

"Sure." Wade moved his feet so Xander could go shower and stuff. They got coffee on their way to the sparring room, where Cable was checking a gun while showing Russell how to do that. "Xander said if he gets you down he's going to Coney Island."

"Aw, man," Russell complained.

"If you're coming you've got to write papers on the science behind the rides and games," Xander quipped. Russell pouted. "The girls will be sneaking off next weekend. It's their weekend off. You can go with them if you ask them nicely."

"I can do that." He went back to the gun reconstructing, letting Cable check it for him. "Thank you for helping me."

"Welcome. It's a skill you'll probably need some day." He looked at Xander and Wade. "Sparring practice."

Xander nodded, working to stretch. When they started off, Russell got out of the way. The three guys were better than he was and he was in the way. But he could watch and learn. Xander did manage to trip Cable but walked off to get a drink.

"Xander," Cable complained.

"Dude, I just got up. I haven't even had coffee yet." He glared as he drank some water. But he did get back to it. He managed to stun Cable by an attack of kissing but Cable pulled back and swung at him with a smirk. "Fine, I have to be more sneaky." He got back into the sparring. And then suddenly he ducked and held his head, leaning against Wade's back. "Fuck."

"Vision," Wade said, waving at Cable. He tipped his head back. "I make a good wall. That bad?"

"Not horrible but bad." He went to lean out the door. "BUFFY!" She opened the door of the room she was using. "They're going to try to overthrow Giles by killing him and Faith."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"I'm there. Thanks." She looked at him. "Hangover? Are they spanking for it?"

"No and no. I don't get hangovers." He smirked. "Let me know if I have to pop down." She nodded, going back to her room to call Giles and warn him.

Xander went back to the sparring matts. He was shaking his head. "That's stupid of them."

"They're political and hating that things are progressing," Cable said. "You okay enough to keep going?"

"Dude, I've had worse and had to fall in for a real battle. You're kinda sweet and nice about that." Cable was almost looking amused but horrified. Xander blew a kiss and got out of the way, making Cable try to grab him. Then Xander got him down again, and moaning with the way he hit the floor. "Was it good for you?" Russell laughed, hiding it in his arm. Xander grinned down at him. "I'm going to Coney Island. Wanna come?"

"Hey," Russell complained.

"You can write the paper."

"Fine." He went to get a few things and come back to let Xander drag him along to do reports on how games and rides worked. Cable and Wade followed. Cable hadn't been. Russell kept Wade from moping about his memories of Vanessa here. Xander got to have some fun. Russell was making notes about the games and rides. When an officer came over Xander grinned at him. Russell held up his notes. "I have to write a paper on how they work. He's so mean I only have a week to write it."

"Just for that, we're going to the aquarium and you have to write a science paper on five of the species we see that day," Xander quipped. "For biology requirements."

"Gross," Russell complained.

"Just wait until the zoo trip," Xander said with a smirk for the pouty thing going on.

Russell looked at Cable. "Can you win the sparring match next time?"

"I would've today but I took it easy on him," Cable told him. He looked at Xander. "You actually got sleep last night. Why are you demented?"

"Sugar," Wade quipped. "He had funnel cake for breakfast." He grinned at the officer. "We're good boys usually."

"Some people worried about you being so covered up, sir." Wade pushed his hood off. "Oh. That's a good reason. I'll make a note so the others don't bother you four. Have fun, boys." He walked off making that report. He swore he recognized one of them. He looked back and realized the kid was a mutant who had been in trouble but apparently his new foster family were good enough to make him behave. It was nice the foster father had brought two gay military types to keep the kid in line if something happened too.

Russell looked up at the roller coaster then at Xander. "How do you learn to build those things?"

"Engineering classes. Or a computer simulation game."

"Oh, okay." He frowned but made a new note. "Did the officer think you were my daddy figure?"

"Yeah and he probably thought those two were together," Xander said dryly, patting the kid on the shoulder. "We get that a lot. It's why half the underground wanted me to dick down Wade for a good few months." Wade shot him a scowl but shook his head. "Roller coaster time." Russell groaned but followed. At least this one was one of the older, weaker ones that didn't have any loops or anything. He could probably handle that. Cable got dragged by Xander too. Protesting but oh well. He had to experience it too.

Wade waited, he had ridden those plenty of times. When Russell came off shaky he clapped him on the back. "That's what being in love feels like. So you can figure it out when it bites you on the balls."

"Good to know that's why Piotr's dizzy all the time recently."

"That's mostly because he forgets to eat. He's down to the comfy blanket form of love unless she goes totally naughty for him." Cable came off next with Xander following. "You good, man?" he asked with a grin. "We can sit for a bit until you're more steady."

"Please. My ears must be acting up." He sat down with a sigh. Russell did the same. Xander went to get something fried on a stick from a nearby stand and a soda. Russell moaned but Xander let him have a tiny piece and some of the soda. "You both need to eat better."

"Yup, we do," Xander agreed happily. "But I had seven servings of vegetables yesterday so I'm good for the next few days." He slurped some of the soda. "Tonight's probably potato casserole and taco meat however you want to eat it."

"You're out of tortillas," Wade quipped.

"We have to hit the grocery store on the way home anyway. I noticed we were out of eggs."

"We're in New York, in Manhattan, we can get things delivered," Russell said. "Including regular food." Xander stared at him. "For the same cost."

"We have to go to the big box stores to get food because the girls eat like a football team. No one's going to deliver eight dozen 3-dozen egg packs." Russell slumped, staring at him. "Yeah. We go through a ton of groceries every week. Which is why that's your math lesson this week, kiddo." He grinned. "We're out of eggs, cheese, milk, and bottled water. Plus another sixty things probably since the pantry was pretty empty last night."

"Can we afford to go to the grocery store since you were frowning at your wallet earlier?" Wade asked more quietly.

"Yeah, I've got that budgeted out. As long as we don't get any major expenses we're fine for another month of them being dicks and playing games. The girls might have to go back to home schooling though. Some days I really would like to clean out all the bad influences in Cleveland." He looked around, spotting someone watching them. "I know them."

"They're not someone I recognize as a local," Wade admitted. "Magic user, problem, or watcher, Xander?"

"I don't remember."

"Oh please let it not be a real battle today," Russell prayed, looking up. "Please?" He looked at Wade, who was casually walking toward the guy with Xander. "Cable, can we evacuate?"

"It'll be fine. Xander knows what subtle is." He was able to go back them up if they needed it. Xander said something to the guy, who flinched away from him. "I swear I recognize him too," he muttered. The guy tried to stab Xander with a needle and Wade broke the guy's other arm while Xander blocked the attack. Cable looked around, spotting an officer watching. "You should probably stop that guy," he warned. "That's your head watcher the guy tried to attack."

"The one with the needle?"

"No, the one with us is Harris."

"Shit." He called that in and went to break it up. They had nicely kept it out of view. "Gentlemen, problems?"

"Yeah, this is one of the guys that was dosing twinkies," Xander said, handing him over. "Military and a dick of extreme proportions since the stuff they drugged them with causes cancer."

"We'll get you yet, Harris. The army hates you for bringing down my project."

"Your project was torturing innocent beings for shits and giggles. And it wasn't just me but it'll be just me that stomps you this time if I have to." He looked at the officer, shrugging some. "Let me get my foster kid back to his weekly fun learning time?"

"Go," he agreed. Xander nodded, taking Wade with him. The officer got backup there and they got to drag the guy and his needle downtown. Harris had stuck the needle in the guy's stomach so they could test what was in it. Someone tried to ticket Harris and his buddies but the kid complained about him defending himself from psycho militants. So they had to give that up too. The quad did leave, and the officer following them reported they were going grocery shopping for the slayer house. With the amount of stuff they bought, it had to be for the slayer house or a military camp.

Xander walked in with the first few bags. "Buffy, help carry groceries," he called up the stairs. She came bouncing down to help. He went to get more things to carry in with the other guys. He paused her, staring at her. "I ran into one of Riley's idiots," he said quietly. "With a needle. This was after we busted them for dosing all the twinkies in town with the same stuff that got your mom."

"I'll be super alert tonight. Riley himself?"

"No, one of the background guys. I barely recognized him." He grabbed a few more bags, letting her carry them inside. He carried in his own. He spotted a few more girls from Cleveland. "Are we all sleeping over?" he quipped. "We might not have enough beds. We only had ten spare rooms."

"We can share," one said with a grin. "Before we learned how to smite people."

"It's not much different from smiting a vampire," Wade quipped as he carried in milk jugs stuffed in plastic crates. "You guys eat more than teenage boys." The girls got the rest of the stuff carried in for them. "Thanks for the help, ladies." He smirked. "Cable, sparring today?"

"Yeah, we need to." Russell moaned, slumping and looking at him pitifully. "You have a paper to write so you've got tomorrow with the kids around your own age since you suck at it, Russell. You've got a while before you're as good as a senior slayer. Go workout on the weight set instead." Russell trudged that way but some of the younger girls joined him in the gym. Xander grinned at him from the kitchen. "Fine, I'll run sparring for Harris so he can start on dinner. Wade?"

"Yup. Give me a sec." He went to make sure the car was locked and the anti-theft system was started. He came back in with the watcher following him. "Xander?" He pointed as he went up the stairs.

Xander leaned out of the kitchen. "Hey, Armand. Come help me start dinner." The other watcher came in there. "What's going on?" he asked quietly. "The girls aren't usually liking up here."

"The ones in Cleveland left as a group," he said quietly. "I made sure they got up here. The ones in the orphans house are probably going to run this way too."

"Problems?"

"Idiots trying to backslide."

Xander nodded once. "I've noticed that." Armand grinned at him. "I'm not sure how many we can get in here. We're already overcrowded."

"Buffy's going to figure out how to schedule things while standing up to everyone else." He clapped him on the arm. "I'm taking the orphans with me."

"Take them and the Sergeant to Cedra in Germany?"

"That's not a bad idea but they don't have passports."

"Get my phone," he said with a head nod. "My hands are dirty." It was put next to him. "Oh, phone." It flipped on. "Dial Clint Barton. Speaker on."

"Dialing."

"Yeah, Xander. Huge problems?" a male voice said.

"Steve, I need a bit of Clint's style of magical background help. Can you send him over please?" he asked. "It's not a problem *here* but some of the girls need some advice in a foreign house."

"I can do that. He's in the gym. Give him maybe an hour."

"Thanks. Hang up, phone." It hung up. He grinned at Armand. "He's a slayer icon." He got back to slicing potatoes. "Can you empty three of the ground beefs into the slow cookers?"

"Will three be enough?"

"Um...." He considered it. "Yeah, make it five. I'll get more in a few days." Armand washed his hands and got back to that. "Pour in enough salsa to cover it slightly, add in two packets of taco seasoning per thing of hamburger and put it on high?" Armand nodded and did that. Xander rolled his neck and popped it. "Better," he sighed.

"What happened? You came in looking mad."

"Idiot army people. We ran into one with a needle at Coney Island." They shared a look. "Yeah, Finn's former people. Again."

"We heard about the twinkie thing from Dawn." He made another crockpot of beef. If the girls didn't eat it tonight they'd eat it sometime soon he was sure. Xander finished making the potato casseroles and put them into the oven for now, setting a timer on his phone. Of course, the smoke detector went off so Xander pulled things out of the oven and removed the stuff that was glued in there. Thankfully the glue smoked and the vials hadn't broken. Xander went to start the grill instead for the potatoes.

Armand covered them in foil to protect them. Clint walked in and Armand stared in awe. He knew about that guy. "Hawkeye, it's an honor," he said, holding out a hand. "I'm Armand DeSiters, the head watcher in London. Our girls need to get out of the US because the watchers here are idiots."

Buffy strolled in. "Putting it mildly," she said. She looked at Clint. "I'm having all the girls leave the US if they're under fifteen and in a house. The ones at home can stay for now but the watchers are trying to backslide."

"Okay, we can help them move subtly. What's that?" he asked.

"Stuff Xander just found glued in the oven."

Xander leaned in with a grin and a wave. "I spotted one of Riley's backup soldiers at Coney Island with a needle too." He went back to fussing with the grill.

"Charming! Who has him?"

"NYPD."

"We can talk to them about it and test those," Clint said, pulling down a tupperware container to put the vials into for now while he texted Natasha to come pick them up for Stark. He looked at the two people. "How many and where do we need to move them?"

"We're already overloading Xander," Buffy said. "We're about to have to double up."

"Xander suggested Cedra in Germany," Armand said. "My house is good for that also. I can hold about another six but we'd prefer not to have tiny ones, Buffy. There's no good park or anything nearby for them to play in."

"Germany's is at an old farm and the girls will adore running around to look for animals."

Xander came in to grab the potatoes. "We can send them to Eggbert in Asia or Patrick in Libya. Both houses are a bit more dangerous but they've got some tiny minis. Or you can go to the fallback house in Greece if Giles didn't sell it." He carried the casserole pans out there to put onto the grill. He came back once it was closed, setting the timer to a different setting. "Italy's is in a single apartment. I have the map in the office." He went to get it, bringing it back to the table. "Here, this is the current houses and who handles them. I'm getting reports from all these," he said with a finger to circle most of them outside the US.

Buffy stared at him. "When did you take over for Giles?"

"When he didn't do it," he said bluntly. "I've had to move the girls in Africa again due to war bands and he just looked so clueless about why that might be a problem. That and he's drinking a whole lot, Buffy."

"He said the same thing about you and you hate drinking."

"I maybe drink now and then. I don't do it daily."

"No, he's doing it daily." She went over things, nodding. "These four are bigger houses." Xander pointed at one. "That's got six girls?" He nodded. "Isn't that all those cousins?"

"Yeah. And they have a nice watcher in charge who is an uncle who I'd like to replace with a non-relative. It's hard watching your kid do things."

"Yeah, I hate that too." She nodded, pointing at one. "Okay. Here, Kennedy, Cedra, and Eggbert. Libya's too dangerous from what they've been saying. We're moving them where, Xander?"

"They're going to the summer house by the sea within the next week anyway," he said. "The locals and soldiers there know about the girls and know they'd *better* protect them. Because they don't want an invasion and the girls there stopped one by driving an idiot demon summoner off by being girls."

She grinned. "I liked that plot. It worked well."

"Set up Andrew in a house," Xander reminded her.

"Up here?"

"No room or I'd agree. He's got to cook better than I do."

"Not totally. He's good at following recipes." She grinned at him. "The girls complained you made them eat veggies."

"Yup. Native Moroccan dishes. Lots of veggies, spices, some meat. Some bread. They enjoyed it but a few had heartburn." He shrugged but grinned. "They need the veggies."

"Fine. It is good for them." She looked over at Russell. "When it's your turn to be a watcher, don't let them give you shit like they give Xander."

"The girls or the other watchers?" he asked.

"Neither," Xander said with a grin. "Really." He looked at Buffy again. "We need to warn Kennedy. She's got a few agents who live around her who spar with her girls."

"England needs to be our last choice anyway," Armand said. "In case some of those uptight ones try to do something since we used to be British and many of the old liners have titles."

Xander grinned at him. "Really?" Armand and Buffy both looked alarmed as they backed away. "They're not the only one." He went to get a file and handed it to Armand. "You have fun with that?"

He read the files and swallowed hard. "Um, that estate...."

"Yeah?" He grinned. "That's where the castle is."

"Oh!" He carefully put it down, but Clint picked it up to look at and groaned. Xander just grinned and hit him on the shoulder. Armand looked at Buffy. "Did you know that?"

"Nope." She shrugged. "It's a wacky Xander plan. Some day we'll have to get someone else to do those for us." She hit Xander on the arm, making him yelp. She got back to the paperwork they needed with Clint. Natasha came in and Clint pointed at the kitchen, letting her get the vials to be tested. She came back to look and pointed out that they could get the girls moved less subtly if needed. Buffy looked at her. "We need it slightly subtle so they don't realize we're abandoning them for backsliding."

"If so, we can rebuild it with you so they cannot." She smiled. "And get your head watcher dried out. Who is second in charge?" Buffy pointed at Xander. Who smirked at her. "Oh dear."

"Only half the Council may realize that," Armand told her. "I knew he was in the top five but not second. I thought the person over the budget."

"A lot want him," Xander agreed. "Because he's the top old liner. I talked to him the other day about people blocking paying for things in the house."

Buffy nodded. "We don't *mind* him but he's uptight and he can't really back up the girls. He's good at administrative things but not backing up my girls."

Natasha nodded. "You do need more field watchers." Xander nodded and pointed at Russell. "I'm sure he'll make a fine one some year if he quits swearing and trains himself," Natasha said, grimacing at the boy, who glared back. "Sometimes you have to appear higher class than you do most of the time, Russell."

"Not like most of the current field watchers are classy people," Xander quipped. "Only Armand and the one in Germany are."

"And he's on a shitlist but we can lock him in a closet," Buffy said. "He's kinda woosy in all but the fighting stuff."

"We know a great many former agents who could help," Clint quipped with a grin for Natasha.

"Yeah but those two HYDRA guys are trying to get some upward mobility too," Buffy said. "They treat the girls well but they'll never get a higher up spot because we don't want that."

"Amen sister," Xander quipped. "That's why I put that curse on them if they were ever bad to the girls." He tapped a dot. "I haven't heard from Toronto in a while again. Go ask Faith to call them?"

"She's up there anyway," Buffy agreed, going to the office to call her. She found the budget guy waiting on a video call. "Sorry, we're in the dining room going over placements. Xander, budget guy." She dialed the regular phone. "It's me. Xander's worried because he hasn't heard from Toronto recently." She listened, handing Xander the phone.

"Yeah, Faith?" He listened. "That sucks. Need backed up? We can send you Mercy or Kara. Piotr could probably use a nap." He grinned at Buffy. "Yeah, I can do that. Tonight good? Good. Yup, need anything but them?" He made notes to hold up to the computer camera. "I can do that. Give me an hour to call. Be safe and let me know, Faith." He hung up. "Mercy!" he bellowed. "Pack you and Tiff and Brenda up to go to Toronto. Faith needs help!"

"Yes, Xander," floated down the stairs. "I'll tell them after they tie up Wade."

"Leave Wade alone," he called back. "He's not ready to deal with giggling girls yet." They all giggled. He sighed, looking at Buffy.

"Why were you two shacking up?" she asked. "I didn't want to poach."

"I have some means of making nightmares run from me," he said dryly, grinning at her. "That's why Faith likes to nap on my shoulder too."

"She's said that. Huh. So he's got nightmares?"

"Buffy, his girlfriend got killed about six months ago. And he's a former soldier. Yeah, he's got some nightmares like we all do."

"I didn't think about that. So no poaching stuff?"

"No. Everyone's encouraged and not happening at this time. He's not into my dick." She blushed but nodded, going to rescue him from the girls. He looked at the budget guy. "What's up?"

"I was calling to tell you about the transfers for tuition."

Xander grinned. "Thank you. I could use that. And the paying me back stuff? I can add today's groceries too for eight hundred dollars." The budget guy winced and groaned a bit. "But we needed it. We were out."

"Why are you taking reports from other houses?"

"Because I always have. Since I came back from Africa to this house, I've taken reports from my former girls and the other ones that don't get anything back from Giles. Maybe it's why I'm second-in-command."

"You are?" he demanded.

"Yeah." Xander nodded. "According to Giles."

"I..."

Buffy came back to lean in. "Giles is going to rehab as soon as I get back." She grinned. "Which means you're in charge of the administrative stuff for us. Because you can't help us on patrol or training. Our head watchers need to be able to handle a battle and the plans for them plus the houses and the girls' needs. You do great with the paperwork stuff and the budget stuff and all that stuff. Xander is the one the girls go to for battle plans and emergencies and all that stuff. You two could do it together. We'd appreciate that more than a lot of things going on."

He cleared his throat. "I can see that point. I am not the watcher that follows the girls into the field the way yours did when you were more active and the way Harris does his girls." He cleared his throat again. "Are we moving the girls this week?"

"Yes. Quite a few of them." She nodded slowly. "Before we have another problem."

"I can see that. I've seen what the girls have." He looked at Xander, who shrugged. "Yours?"

"We're about out of room. We've got an extra ten girls up here."

"Oh dear."

Kara walked in. "Xander, Piotr and I can get an apartment with the housing stipend."

He kissed her on the head. "Piotr eats less than you do. Or the tiny minis do. Half of them eat Piotr's weight in food each meal." She blushed but grinned, nodding at him. He hugged her. "You aren't causing me any problems, Kara. You and Piotr are fine and I like you two being together. Even if your man does keep forgetting to eat so he can pass out at your toes." He looked at her. "Go make yourselves lunch." She nodded, going to do that. "Don't use the oven," he called after her. "We had to pull chemicals out of it."

"I can't do that anyway," she said. "We don't have any oven stuff. And your phone's going off."

"Go stir the potatoes on the grill please."

"I can do that," Natasha agreed.

"Thanks." He looked at the budget guy again. "I ran into one of Finn's military team earlier."

"Shite," he muttered. "A huge problem?"

"I hope not." He grinned. "If so, we'll handle it like we did them dosing all the twinkies in the area with stuff that causes cancer."

The budget guy took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "You have fun with them, Harris."

"Oh, I will." He grinned. "I have poker debts for those." The guy shuddered but nodded. Xander found a form to fill out and got the receipt from the kitchen, then signed it and scanned it in to send down. "There, today's groceries."

"Oh, dear. You bought how many eggs?"

"Nine dozen. It'll last us a week," Buffy said.

"Cheap protein," Xander said with a shrug. Then he smiled. "And yeah, it'll last about four days with the extra girls."

The budget guy just nodded. "I can process this today, Xander. I've got the rest of the payment sent up to the house's account. It should hit there tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"Welcome. I look forward to you coming down tonight to talk to Rupert?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Thank you, lad." He hung up and went to consider things. The slayer was right, he wasn't really in charge as he didn't deal with many things that the girls did. He could do that behind Xander though. The boy had barely passed math, he couldn't deal with the budget or those details. So he'd take over after Xander fell in a battle and train the boy's protege to take his place when he got too old. It was a good lineage and they could add in some like Armand or Barty in Germany. The girls did seem to favor them.

***

Xander showed up that night, looking at Giles when he walked into his office. "We gotta talk, Giles."

"Xander. Problems?" He shut his door. He went to pour himself a drink. "Where is...." Xander held up the bottle. "Helping yourself to it? Bad day?"

"Do you realize you're going through a bottle a day now?" Xander asked. He put the bottle onto the desk and stood up. "Buffy's so worried she showed up to talk to me about that." He stared at him. "You've been drinking compulsively for six months, Giles," he said quietly. "Buffy wants to run away from the smell of scotch."

"I... It's not a compulsion."

"I know that. Not like I didn't grow up watching three adults destroy their lives that way." He stared at him. "She wants to beat your ass and put you into a hospital in traction so you can't walk out. She was nearly crying earlier when she was talking about how far you've fallen."

Giles took off his glasses. "It has been stressful." He stared at him. "You've been fighting them again."

"Yeah, because I'm not going to let them backslide, Giles. The girls are going to get a good education no matter what the other old liners say. They're going to get a life beyond dying young and horribly."

Giles slumped. "I've seen that and tried to stop it."

"They're taking advantage of you being so damn drunk. Frankly, those of us who are doing the actual work, we're rather concerned. Bartemy in the budget office, me, Armand. Eggbert. Eggbert called up wondering why you sent a memo saying that you might be shutting one of the Asian houses."

"I... I did not."

"No, someone did in your name. They think Bartemy will follow them. And frankly, with the way things are listed, he's not your second-in-command. He agreed to be mine though. He knows admin stuff is not my gift in life," he finished dryly. "Though I am staying over the girls' well being."

"Are you leaving your house?"

"No. Have yours?"

Giles blinked. "Dinner had...oh." He stared at him. "Where are they?"

"At a few houses. Including overloading mine. I have an extra fifteen girls. I helped some of the girls get to more secure, safer places. The Sergeant is over the orphans at the moment because they tried to shove her out too. And she's the second best fighter we have in the Council, and I'm behind her. I gladly defer to her when she comes up with battle plans because I learned some but she got training and experience in battles I won't have."

"I can agree with that if she wants to."

"She doesn't. She had to so they were protected." Giles nodded at that, and you could see he was thinking about it. "I agree that the girls need a real family environment but they were trying to farm the girls out to the old way of one watcher, one slayer again. Which we can't allow."

"It could be good for them."

"Was it for Kendra?"

"No," he agreed. "I had no idea...."

Xander picked up the bottle to wave in the air. "Really?"

Giles stared at him. "What are you hoping for here?"

"I'm driving you to rehab tonight. I could've cursed Buffy to drive you but I figured that would be counterproductive."

"I have things I have to get prepared."

"Uh-huh." Xander nodded. "And then you'll have a problem and another thing will pop up and you'll have the good scotch for breakfast again and on and on and on until we bury you. Because you're standing in the way of a lot of people getting power again." He stared at him. "They think they have me tied up with problems. They're wrong and they don't realize it yet. Unless you can find a rehab place that'll take you out of time and space...."

"I cannot, I don't think one exists," Giles admitted.

"Then let's go after you write out some notes? Or I can tell them I'm kidnaping you." He grinned, putting the bottle back down on the desk. "Your choice."

"I could use a vacation," Giles decided. He moved to write out some notes for his secretary and the others that did the administrative things. "How often are you drinking?" he asked, looking at his former protege.

"Maybe twice a month. I spar with my girls when they annoy me." He grinned. "It helps a lot. Also, we're moving most of the girls," he said quietly. "Buffy said so."

He tipped his head. "I know why. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He took Giles' keys and let him go pack two bags to take with him. The few watchers that spotted them glared. Xander shrugged. "Giles is going to take a few days at a spa. It's his last chance before the big incident coming up and whatever's scheduled for Halloween. He'll be back in a week or so."

Giles came down the stairs. "I've left my assistant Natalie notes for how things need to happen for the week I'll be gone. Do not cause any stress while I'm gone. Bartemy and Xander are in charge until I come back."

"Him?" one of them demanded.

Giles took off his glasses to put into his pocket. "He's been my second-in-command since we had to reform in Sunnydale. I made that clear numerous times."

Cordelia appeared, smiling at the old liners, who all backed away from her. "He and the budget guy both do really good together to fix things. Without someone good in charge, things will go to hell and various governments will steal the girls. And destroy you all. The one thing stopping it is that there's guys who're helping by being out there and doing the same damn job. If Xander, Armand, and Eggbert fall, the girls are screwed and then used for politics so certain countries will fall, and then we'll have another world war. Boom, all gone," she said dryly, waving at them. "You'd have been dead long before then." She looked at Giles. "Good!" He grimaced but nodded. "Have a good break. You've needed one for years. Your last one your slayer died. Hopefully this time will be less full of alcohol."

"No, I believe I need to quit that," he said.

She beamed. "Good job!" She clapped Xander on the shoulder. "You're so good at doing my job."

Xander stared at her. "Not even if the PTB made me." She burst out giggling but nodded. "Any upcoming news on the Thanos thing?"

"Shit'll suck."

"I knew that."

"Shit'll suck majorly. Yeah, your plan? Stupidly weird like usual." He grinned. "Don't forget others have plans too so you'll have a helper." She pinched him on the cheek. "Don't put it into your pants. It's cheesy and you don't need to compensate." He grinned but shook his head. "Okay, that's my thing for the week. Also...you two go to Germany," she bellowed. "Tonight!"

"Yes, Cordelia," a female voice called. "All three of us?"

"Three?"

Xander looked up the stairs. "Buffy said Blu's going to Kennedy. You two are going to Germany."

"I'm sick," one said.

"Yay!" He grinned. "Fall into line, ladies." They grumped but came down to do that. "Thanks." He looked at Cordelia. "Any other requests or orders?"

"Not yet. Though, the PTB are kinda hoping you find someone nice for stress relief."

"You go tell Wade that, dear." He kissed her until she moaned then grinned at her. "I've missed your fire," he said quietly. She slapped him but he kissed her again. She got into it, her arms going over his shoulders. He pulled her closer and got into it. Until they faded her out.

"Hey!" they heard her complain. "I need and deserve that! It's been years and a girl can only live with her fingers for too long!"

Xander grinned up at the ceiling. "Come back when you can, Cordy. Not like I've had anyone recently who was more than stress relief." He shrugged and grinned at them then looked at Giles. He held up the keys. "Let's go. You're flying out in two hours." Giles nodded, following him out.

The others got together to talk about it. That boy had mugged the Messenger for the Powers That Be. What sort of power did he have over her?

Whistler appeared, staring at them. "They dated in high school." They all groaned. "And Cordelia is always for the slayers as she helped Buffy." He stared at them. "The message was still true. Quit pushing the girls back to the old ways before someone takes out all of you and takes the girls over on you so they can politically choose who survives." He stared at one. "And quit trying Harris totally. He's efficient and gets things done even if he's weird and young.

"Frankly, the higher ups wanted him to die in the battle with the First, or in one of the ones in Africa that he managed to survive. Now we need him or else every human dies. Just let them do what they have to do and fall in line to be better for the girls. You're here to serve and help the girls do their duties. And Bruno when he's older." He stared at one. "Take Harris as a road sign but not his full example. And his protege will probably go onto a mutant response team but he's going to be backing the girls up when they need it."

"That one's a mutant?"

"With a fire gift. And a horrible history thanks to guys like you." Whistler smirked a tiny bit. "Russell will do fine. He's learning the right lessons from Xander. The rest of you need to take up the worship of Xander's insanity too so you can treat the girls better." He disappeared to go talk to Russell. He nodded at Buffy as he appeared. He looked at the kid. "It's all right if you decide to back up the girls like that Wade guy does. You can do both." Russell stared at him oddly. "Really. You could be needed for both. We're counting on you for the huge things but not every day."

"Because I'm a mutant?"

"No, that's why we accept you'll help with both." He smirked a tiny bit. "Your future's pretty open but you don't have to turn into Harris. Or that Wade guy. Be Russell and do what Russell needs to do, and when the big things happen jump in to help where you're needed."

"I...who're you?" he asked, trying not to swear. This one felt weird and the girls had warned him about weird feeling people who gave shitty advice.

"That's Whistler, the Messenger for the Powers That Be, who're over the girls," Buffy said. "That's all today, Whistler? No other warnings?"

"What Harris has planned is wacky and weird and wrong but it'll work." He stared at her. "This is shitty times that we don't have plans for but they're about to worry about needing to know how to blow themselves."

"You gotta be real flexible," Cable said. "Ask Wade." He pointed at him.

"I haven't been able to do that without something to hold me down in a while," Wade quipped, grinning at him. "How bad? Any other warnings?"

"Learn how to do that without the straps," Whistler said. "If you lose, you'll need it." Wade nodded. "There's a weird, wacky, wrong plan that'll work with Cable's plan," he said with a nod at him. "Please teach Harris the right way to plan battles?" he demanded impatiently. "He gives us all headaches even when they work." Buffy burst out giggling. "Slayer, your watcher is going on a week's vacation with our blessing and warning the others about stopping their shit before you all get taken by a government."

"Xander worries about that."

"I know. We like that he's the reason they won't." He smirked as he faded out. "I've got to calm Cordelia down. They're mad at her for making out with Harris."

Cable looked up then at Buffy. "At least he's not uptight."

"He is uptight and that's a weird bit of message. Usually Whistler shows up to tell us to bend over and suggests lube." She grimaced. "Though it's nice that Xander and Cordy hooked up again." She looked at Russell. "They used to date in high school but Xander had a cheating thing with Willow for some reason. Cordy got hurt. Drama from hell for over a year. Even watching it made us all cringe. Never date a girl that's too highly strung and who will kill your spirit if you screw up. He deserved it but she was uber mean."

"I can avoid that," Russell agreed. "Why did he cheat?"

"We're not really sure why he ended up kissing Willow," she admitted. "Though we don't want to think it was her. Afterwards...that might've been due to a spell since we only blamed him. Willow was firmly dating Oz then too." She grinned and shrugged. "We were teenagers helping save the world and doing high school. It was all sorts of screwed up. My dating life with Angel. Angelus. Him dating Cordy. Willow dating Oz was okay even though he did end up being a werewolf thanks to his baby cousin. Xander was the king of creeps really often. We were so mean to Xander." Wade looked at her. "We were."

"You still are."

"Yeah, kinda," she sighed. "I need to make up for that. But he's still normal." She grimaced. "I need to tell the girls about Sunnydale. C'mon, Russell. We'll go tell the girls about back then." She hauled him up to take him up to talk about the bad old days.

Wade looked at his buddy. "Yeah, he still gets told he's normal. And then they compare him to us."

"That sucks," Cable agreed. "He's not us. He doesn't have our training or skills."

"At least we're passing on skills." He heard an 'eww' from upstairs. "Wonder what that was." They got up to go listen in with the girls. "We heard it was gross. What was?"

Mimsy looked up at him, pulling him down to cuddle him. "Buffy used to date Angel, who was a vampire."

Wade looked at her. "He understood my destiny and was a champion for the PTB. He was mysterious, cryptic, wore a leather jacket," she sighed, shrugging some. "It was very teenage girl romance novel sort of love. And if you find one like that, enjoy it. It never lasts. Angel's and mine didn't last because he violated the curse that held his soul in place by getting truly happy when we had sex the first time. And wow, no soul Angelus was mean." A few of the older girls stared at her oddly.

"Yeah." She sighed, looking at them. "I ended up sending him to hell right after Willow put the soul curse back on. Xander didn't tell me she was going to try, and later on I found out I didn't have a choice because the apocalypse attempt he started had to be stopped by his blood. So I had to send him. But he did come back. We just couldn't get too ...friendly. It's why he went to LA to do the private eye thing. Because it was too hard and we would've fallen into bed again."

"Wow," Wade said. "That's...."

Buffy grinned but nodded. "First loves," she sighed. "They're all pretty strong. You'll always remember it. Not always fondly but you'll remember it. Your first time with a guy too. Faith remembers hers when it's a bad night because she was post slaying hot and ran into a demon pack while we were fighting the hellmouth without her and Xander. Xander killed the demons and Faith pounced. She said it was fast and she was stupid to kick him out, but we found out later that Xander killed the bomb making zombies and made him stop the bomb before we all got blown up."

"What?" Russell demanded. Buffy went into that whole story. Russell looked at the two older heros.

"Nah-uh. I would've screamed back and stomped off to let them do their own thing," Wade said. "Maybe I would've gotten drunk instead. Not given anyone a ride anywhere and definitely not followed them to the school."

"We were fighting the kraken and we thought it was going to be too bad for him. He was just a kid who didn't even know how to use a sword before we taught him." She shrugged, grimacing at them. "I discounted Xander. I admit I discounted Xander. I still discount Xander and he snaps back. Then you girls make him pout. We should all quit discounting Xander because then he goes out and does amazing things that make me scream at him."

"Did you get into him about five months ago when he took out some ninja vampires?" Cable asked. "I wondered about that."

"Ninja vampires?" she demanded, standing up to stare at him. "What?"

"They made special ones just to take out the girls," Wade said dryly. "Yeah, a ninja gang got partially turned." Buffy groaned as she sat back down. Wade patted Russell on the back. "Nineteen by himself, I had to put his shoulder back in place and do a few stitches on his back for him, and the next night he did magic while the rest of us handled the rest of the ninja vampires."

"You're nuts."

"Aww, thank you," Wade quipped with a smirk.

"I can learn from Xander and not turn nuts like you two are."

"Become like Cable, Russell. He seems mostly normal," Buffy said. "Just really tough and strong and the sort of guy that girls should drool on."

"Still missing my wife," Cable told her with an eye roll. She just grinned back before telling the girls more about the early years of their team.

Cable and Wade shared a look. Sunnydale had been so screwed up. No wonder Xander was the way he is.

TBC....
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