Natasha looked up from working on the HYDRA/SHIELD problem. "Why did Dreykov allow her to come home?"
"He was thinking about breeding a few of the younger girls and she was an experiment to see if we still had some maternal instinct. A lot of us older Widows spent days with her in shifts. Alexi got her now and then while on parole for a supposedly special assignment." She stared at her. "Half of us dote on Darcy, Natasha. We're all confused about her stuffed friends habit but we all dote on her. Especially since we found out that's she's a really big smartass."
"What did she do?"
Yelena pulled back her hair again. "The girl told Dreykov that he was an idiot. He laughed but she went on to tell him why he was an idiot and that even controlled they still had free will." Natasha winced. "He tried to hit her so she ducked and bit him. Hard." She grinned at her 'sister'. "He was not amused but that weekend she hacked people. Including him and the program's funds. And Putin's vacation fund for his sugar babies." Natasha moaned, shaking her head and making sure her mouth was closed. "Putin thought it was *amusing*," she said with an evil little smirk. "Absolutely loved that idea. Hated that his money went to her stuffed friend habit but loved that she had hacked him. Gave her an award for it."
Darcy came down the stairs. "He told me I was the way that he'd get to shut down the program," Darcy told them.
"Is that what he told you?" Yelena demanded.
Darcy nodded with a grin. "I'd be his excuse because they were ruining women." She sat down. "Dreykov was not amused but it meant that he had to step up against Putin and the KGB contacts he had. He almost completely forgot about me for a few years until I sold off his vacation cabin and gave it to orphans." She grinned.
"Which is when he remembered, we all got yelled at for not keeping her in check, and that's when he sent someone to try to grab her. Who she burned greatly." Darcy nodded with a grin. "He did regret that. He couldn't shoot Darcy, because each time he had someone try they died. Mysteriously died somehow." She looked at her, getting a shrug back. "You have a very worried guardian angel who probably has an ulcer."
"Could be." She grinned. "But they're probably cute. Since that was that agent guy who kept flirting with me."
"Him," Yelena sneered. "One of Putin's people's," she told Natasha. "Young trainee agent. Very stupid. Very vain. And really dumb." Darcy grinned at that, nodding a bit. "But he did all those?"
"Yeah." She rubbed her stomach. "I caught him taking a few on and asked him. He said they had plans of using me to take down the Red Room and all those problems that they were creating. Apparently someone didn't realize his mistress was one."
Natasha looked at Yelena, who nodded. "Yes. Quite." She looked at her. "What is your stuffed friends?"
"Some hold programs, some hold hidden weapons parts, a few hold files. Bears are parts. Dogs are programs. The ducks hold some files."
Yelena blinked a few times. "That is not what you should be doing."
"This is all stuff from Culver and the science stuff."
Yelena sighed. "Are you trying to do my job for me again?"
"Nope." She smirked at Natasha. "I think that's your job, right?"
"Usually. We're hacking the HYDRA bases for lists."
"Use the backdoor from the Prague site."
"Prague site?" she asked. Darcy got up with a groan to come show her. "Oh," Natasha said. "That's interesting and a SHIELD server."
Darcy kissed her on the temple. "I know. Same people though." She went back upstairs. "I'm going to go pee if you need my help on the computer."
"Go rest," Yelena ordered. "Natasha can do that."
"Yes, Auntie."
Yelena looked at her 'sister'. "We all agreed we could be good aunties."
"You were an excellent auntie. She's a very normal young woman."
"I'm just glad she was out of diapers. That would have driven us nuts." Natasha smiled, letting Yelena help her. Alexi came down the stairs. "Darcy's resting."
"Good! It's good she's finally stopped throwing up." He settled in to watch them work. "Anything good we can handle?"
"Yes," Yelena said with a nod. "I hope."
***
A few days later, Darcy opened up a few presents. She stared at them. "Uh-huh. Um, Aunties?" she called loudly. They were outside. They came in. "Do you want to help me write a thank you note to Nick Fury for Hill's baby gift?" She held up the blanket and card. "And should we test it for something like nanites?"
"We may want to test it," she admitted. "Hill wouldn't want the child though." She took it to look over. "That is rather odd."
"And Auntie Yi, you work for HYDRA?"
"I do?" she demanded.
"Yeah, Fury's ex girlfriend?" She held up the other card she had gotten. "She's HYDRA. One of the top people over agents."
"Interesting. I did not know that about Valentina." She took that card to look over. "I'll send on your well wishes, Darcy. Any others?"
"Clint sent a baby book." She held it up. "For pictures and stuff."
"That's sweet and his family probably has many," Natasha agreed, taking to look at. Including the note in there. "Hill thinks we're in Russia."
"She's not sensible then," Yelena said. "We don't want Darcy up there again. Next time she might bring back the Party and all that."
Darcy shook her head. "I'm for light socialism but communism is too far." She looked at the rest of the mail. "Stark forwarded stuff for Jane. Jane!" She came in. "Mail from Stark." She handed them over. "And one from Pepper and Thor." That got handed over too. "Have fun with that stuff."
"Thanks, Darcy." She went to her workroom to find out what those were. "Darcy, you handed me something from a president I want to see in jail," she said, coming back to hand that over.
Darcy looked at it. "Hmm. The one that praised me for fighting against OPEC and the human rights violations over there." She checked it then put it aside. "I'll send a thank you note back. Auntie Melina taught me how to be polite even if I want to bite heads off."
"Melina's alive?" Natasha asked. Darcy nodded slowly. "How?"
"Don't know. But she's how I learned what babbling in science was."
Alexi nodded. "She still works for the Red Room."
"We can fix that shit," Yelena said impatiently. "Can we bring them down now?"
"Yes, we can," Natasha said. "And we will."
"And we have programs to virus everything if the stuffed friends are here," Darcy offered with a grin. "Will that help?"
Yelena looked at her. "Do not turn mean. You'll make a mean mother."
"I'll make a fantastic mother who loves to play and laugh with their kids. Because I'm just that way. Being mean has to happen sometimes."
"Hmm." She stared at her then went back down to the computer lab. "We'll see. Rest for now, Darcy."
"Yes, Auntie Yi." She laid down and Alexi came to read to her like she was very young. She grinned. "Thank you, Dedushka."
"Welcome, kitten." He went back to reading. Darcy fell asleep easily enough.
***
Yelena looked up as her contact showed up. "Valentina," she said warmly. "My niece sends you a thank you note." She handed it over. "Though we are all highly protective over that young one she carries."
"That's good though. It means you get more auntie time." She smiled at her. "How is she?"
"A bit worried about the placenta problem but otherwise well. But she did tell Natasha that she hacks."
"She hacks?" she asked impatiently.
Yelena smiled and nodded. "Yes, she does. She's the one that made Putin so very amused by stealing his sugar baby funds."
"Oh, I hadn't heard." She considered that. "Is she looking for a job?"
"No. She works for Dr. Foster, who needs more mother than that infant will." She stared at her. "She does not really trust HYDRA."
"HYDRA?" she asked casually.
"Valentina," she sighed then smiled. "Yes, HYDRA. We know you are HYDRA." Agents came out of hiding to come capture her. "In that envelope is a thank you note for Maria Hill as well as she sent a baby blanket." She walked off, waving a hand. "Have her. HYDRA has annoyed me greatly by coming after our niece."
The SHIELD agents all smiled. They weren't HDYRA, had been cheked to make sure they weren't HYDRA. They were just really amused that Nick Fury's former girlfriend was HYDRA. They marched her to the car they had hidden and back to a base to interrogate her. One did remember the thank you note to hand to Hill.
The End!
Chapter notes:
After watching the Black Widow movie, I've updated this fic to include more of that canon and an explanation of why Darcy has aunties.
Not beta'd!
Not beta'd!