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Xander was staring out back when TJ got up the next morning. He got a kiss and smiled, pulling TJ down to hold him. "What do you think about selling the cabin in Tahoe?"

"When did you buy a cabin in Tahoe and do you need the money that much?"

"No, I don't need the money. I bought it after I made my first million. I thought it was what the popular kids did, and back then I still thought being a popular kid would be cool. I realized about a year later I'll never be one of them even if I own the whole world. I finished growing up then. I never visit it. I've been there twice. I will make a nice profit if I sell it, I did a tiny bit of fixing up but it was in pitiful shape when I bought it off drug seizure auction." TJ nodded. "It's nice but I never get up there."

"Do you need somewhere out of LA to run away to?"

"Sometimes but I can go visit a hotel for that."

TJ nodded. "That's sensible. Are you sure you can sell it?"

"Yeah. Unless something's happened to the roof that the caretaker group didn't tell me about. I hired people to cut the grass and take care of it so no one broke in."

"That's a good idea." TJ snuggled in, looking at his boyfriend. "That's up to you. Have you found a new one out here?"

"Yeah, it'll be done in about a week. They just had to up the security." He grinned. "I think you'll think it's too big."

"Probably. This place is a bit too big for just you or us."

"It's slightly bigger. It does have a huge closet. We should go shopping to honor Cordy's memory."

"She died?"

"Yeah, the visions got to her." He looked at TJ. "She died about three weeks before the battle. The First also took out a group of stronger were alphas in town. Including the senior one in town and his second-in-command and wife. She was apparently hoping to disturb the local community so she could take it over easier or we wouldn't have any support."

"I doubt that. The local demon community is stronger than that." Xander nodded. "Are the werewolves okay?"

"Yeah. They're figuring out who is the strongest alpha right now. I'm staying away from anything that's not an honoring event for them. That way whatever draws young ones to me doesn't have time to act and cause issues." He gave TJ a squeeze. "I made juice but I never got to actual food."

"I can add toast to that." He got up to get some juice and toast. "Fresh squeezed?"

"Juicer, TJ. I'm strong and it's a good thing to do with the anger but I'm not quite that bad this morning."

"Anything I can do to help?" he asked.

"Yeah, just cuddle for a bit?"

"I can do that. I'm pretty good at it when it's necessary." He brought Xander a glass of juice and some toast too before settling next to him. Xander leaned on him and drank his juice. "Eat the toast too," he said quietly. "You'll need the energy later." Xander nibbled but just stared at the area out back. "Don't you have to mow?"

"I hired. I hate mowing."

"Okay. I can see why. I think that's why I went for a condo. Houses have lawns and scary things."

"Sometimes. At least in this area cheap lawn help is all around."

"Immigrants?"

"The company said they only hire legal ones."

"That's good." They settled in to watch the neighborhood's trophy wives take their kids out to the park to hang out together. Most of them came back without a single speck of dirt anywhere on them. "Even my mother let me play in the dirt," TJ snorted. "That kid's way too clean to have done anything but sit perfectly still so Mommy had a visible trophy to show off."

Xander nodded. "She drinks a lot too." He looked up. "My parents weren't like that."

"Are they alive? Someone in Mom's camp asked."

"You know, I don't know. Don't give a fuck but have no idea where they went after I left Sunnydale. If they're still alive I'm sure their neighbors view them as community amusement." He watched a kid covered in blood come out screaming. "That's bad. The first aid kit's under my sink," he said, getting up to run over there. "Hey, Tommy. What's going on?" He stopped the kid, making him look up. "Why are you bloody? Did you get hurt?" TJ came rushing out with the kit.

"My mommy!" he said with a point. "It's hers. She fell or something."

"Okay, can you stay with TJ while I go check on her? When the guards get here, send them." TJ was calling the guards while checking the kid over. Xander took his med kit into the house. "Hey, Annabella?" he called. "It's Xander Harris. Tommy said you fell. Make a noise so I can find you. Please?" He heard a groan and headed for the bathroom. "Yeah, you *fell*," he said, pulling her out of the tub of bloody ice water. "Fuck." He pulled out his gloves and a thermal blanket for her. He bandaged the obvious cuts up her arm. She blinked at him.

"I'm going to scream at you for doing this while your kids were home," he said bluntly. "Then I'm going to kick your ass so far you're going to *wish* for frequent flyer miles. How dare you do that with your kids in the house! Jesus, woman, have some damn sense! Do you want your kids to remember this?" She moaned and started to cry. A guard came in. "She was in ice water with slit arms. Get an ambulance before I beat her on top of it for doing it with her kids at home.

"See if the baby's here." The guard called that in and checked, bringing the baby out and grabbing something for Tommy to change into. "The Peirson whelping bitch just got back from the park in a spotless state, see if she'll watch them," he called after the guard. Paramedics got there a few minutes later. "I've got pressure on the upper veins, they're pressure bandaged. I've got a thermal blanket for the ice water exposure."

"That's good work, sir. Is she living?"

"Yeah, she's breathing. She just passed out crying because I screamed at her about her kids being home."

"That's not all that helpful when you're depressed."

Xander looked at him. "Her husband's divorcing her for someone younger without kids. She's not depressed. She's mad and making him pay for it. Two days ago they had a fight out back where she threatened to shoot herself and leave him with the kids, who he'd probably give to social services to raise."

"One of those, great," the second paramedic said dryly. "We've seen a few of those over the last few years."

"LA is full of that sort," Xander said dryly. "Her husband's at Merill Lynch as an investment guy. He tried to talk to me about my retirement account once until I told him I was in protection designs."

"Charming. Her kids?"

"The guard hopefully asked the neighbor that treats her son like he's fragile to watch them."

"That's fine then. We can alert him to that and she might have his number anyway." They got her fixed up and loaded her onto the gurney with his help. "Good work, sir."

"Thanks." Xander took off his gloves to drop into the bag and let them leave. He closed and locked his kit, heading out after them. He handed TJ the kit and went to the woman in the doorway of that house. "Tommy's mom was in ice water."

"The blood?" she demanded. "That was nasty."

"If I heard that fight the other night, I'm sure you did," he said quietly.

"Oh. That's charming. Did she?"

"Exacto blade. Have you called his father?"

"I have. Tommy was filthy with that nasty blood. He's on his way here now." The ambulance drove off. "Well I guess their divorce is going to get even messier."

"Not really. Unless he contests him getting full custody thanks to this."

"Could be." She walked off shaking her head. "I've got these two in the yard, Harris."

"Thanks." He headed back to his house. TJ was on the porch. "You should've heard the 'you're divorcing me, I'm going to kill myself and leave you the kids to inconvenience you' yelling match the night before you came back."

TJ nodded once with a grimace. "I know people like that. She be okay?"

"Unless they screw up? Probably." He looked over. "Tommy, your mom's going to be okay but she might have to be in the hospital for a few days. Your dad should be here in a bit." Tommy waved and smiled. "Watch your baby sister, kiddo. You want her to grow up normal." He walked in, taking a glass of tea that was sitting on the counter. "Thanks."

"Welcome." He sat down at the piano to play while Xander relaxed. "I can't believe she did that while the kids were home."

"I yelled at her about that," Xander said. "She deserved it." He took a drink and relaxed. Until someone pounded on the door then kicked it in, coming with rifles. Xander stared at them. "Warrant, guys?" They pointed guns at him. "What do you want?"

"We're here to talk to you, Mr. Harris."

Xander stared at them. "Fat chance."

"We can torture your friend."

"I can summon something to eat you. I doubt you'll get a chance to hurt TJ." He stared at them then waved. "Hey, Craig." The people got knocked out by a gas grenade. "Thanks, Craig." He got up to turn on the fan then laid back down. TJ groaned but went back to playing the piano. "Any idea who they were?"

"One's wearing a sheriff's badge. They didn't identify themselves, didn't say they had a warrant."

"They didn't tell us that either," Xander quipped. "Did you call it in?"

"We did." Cop cars came rushing in with lights and sirens. Craig flagged them down. "Mr. Harris' uninvited guests that came in to hold them hostage at gunpoint are knocked out due to the sleeping gas canister he has."

"We're here about a suicide," an officer said.

Xander pointed. "They already took the mom. The kids are with the neighbor to the left by two houses. These guys pounded, then kicked in the door. Didn't say who they were, who they were with, just threatened to torture my boyfriend if I didn't do what they wanted. Thankfully the security team here is excellent and helpful." He finished his tea.

The office came in to look. "This one's got a badge, sir."

"Yeah, unfortunately he didn't identify himself as an officer."

"State law said if it can be assumed..."

Xander held up a hand. "This is the eighth or ninth time I've had people break in here to make me give them things. Or to kill me. I've had some of the dumbass hunters actually blow up my door to come in to kill me. I don't assume they're more than one of them. Especially since they didn't announce who they were and they threatened to torture TJ if I didn't do what they wanted. That's not how police officers act unless I'm mistaken and you've changed the rules."

"No, we don't threaten to torture you," he admitted. "I guess I wouldn't assume either."

"Craig's the one who found the badge but then again I had fake agents with badges once trying to get into my security vault to get demon things. They were with the stupid ones too."

"I can see if he's an officer." He called that in, with the badge number. "He is but he's a hunter."

Xander smirked. "Figures. Does he want to kill me because I do protection rune sets, because I'm a hunter as well, or because someone's told him BS about me?" He looked then opened a drawer to throw something over. "That's an antidote dose." The officer gave it to that one. The guy gasped awake. "So, why did you bust in here again?" he asked dryly. Xander got up. "TJ, more tea?"

"Please." He let Xander take his glass to refill then hand back. Then Xander refilled his.

"Water, Officers?" Xander asked. "I have bottled spring water, nicely cold. I put it in last night."

"Sure, I wouldn't mind," one said, taking a bottle. "Who're you?"

"Xander Harris."

"I've heard something about you."

Xander nodded. "A lot have." He grinned but it was grim looking. "I don't know which reason he's come for me."

"You have things that are supposed to be in official custody," the downed officer said.

Xander shook his head. "No I don't."

"You have weapons."

"Yeah, that I do, but I also have permission because I help protect LA from the bigger incidences." Xander walked off. "Let me get that letter of permission from the office." He came back with it.

The officer who had taken water read it over. "It does." He handed it over. "Written by the last VP."

Xander nodded. "His demon minders asked for me." He settled on the couch again. "Beyond that, what makes you think the weapons are here and if that was why you were officially here you wouldn't have threatened to torture TJ."

"I didn't," he sneered. Xander picked up a remote to run back the security tape. He turned up the volume. The officers glared at the one on the ground. "I...." He looked around. "You assaulted an officer."

Xander stared at him. "Weak, dude. Really weak. Especially since you were breaking into my house." He turned off the replay. "Considering I've had fake agents trying to capture my vault and hunters blowing up my doorway I'm pretty sure you're one of them that only thinks with his dick."

"I am not!" he shouted, hopping up. "You make a mockery of hunting. You shouldn't even be in the field."

"Sure, let me not stop the things that took out the guy that kept me from going on a serial killing and torturing rampage when I was ten," Xander said with a shrug. "I'm sure they'd be happy if I wasn't. Thankfully I only jump into bigger matters now unless I have to hunt because no one else can." He stared at him. "Other than that I tend to do protections."

"For *demons*," he sneered.

"If you're that against peaceful beings, go where they came from to solve the problems there so you can solve the huge problems that made them immigrate. Some would like to go home but can't." He stared at him.

"Not all of them immigrated."

"Oh, you're against werewolves and the like. Well, pity mother fucker. Most of them didn't accept it and were infected with the virus against their wills. If you don't like it, go find a cure." He sipped his tea. The guy lunged at him but Xander stabbed him in the throat. "Feel better?" Xander demanded. "Because I sure don't and you're bleeding on me. I don't need that today. Thanks anyway." He kicked him off him. "Please get him out of my house before I kill him." He wiped at the wet blood. "Eww."

"Sir, you provoked him," the officer with the water said.

"Then arrest my ass," Xander said bluntly. "We can hash this out in a court of law. Especially since he didn't come in as an officer."

"Point. Most judges won't go against a department."

Xander smirked. "Is he acting officially? Is he even on shift today?"

"No," the one that had called in admitted. "He's not. His supervisor wanted to know what he was doing."

"The gate guards can give you a copy of the tape. They've had to do it before when someone came up to get the hunters that broke in." He looked. "Duck, guys. Craig, drive by!" he shouted as he moved. He got TJ down and protected behind the piano. Shots rang out and the officers mostly ran after them. Xander looked down. "You good?"

"I'm fine but we're moving. Today."

"Sure, we can move today. Want to start on the closet?"

"Yes." He got up to do that.

Xander looked at the remaining officer. "I recognized the car," he said before the officer could ask. "He blew up the door a few months back and only got a slap on the wrist and a weekend in jail." Xander walked off, coming back with a bottle to pour across the doorway. "That way no harm can cross for a few days."

"Thank you," the officer said quietly. "Will it stop bullets?"

"Yes." He walked off to look in the cabinets. "That's going to take some boxes. Hey, Craig, you okay?"

"Yes, Mr. Harris."

"Cool. Anyone got any boxes?"

"We can call an approved moving company, sir."

"Thanks. The new house won't be ready for a week but TJ's nervous here."

Craig leaned in. "I'm horrified you're not freaking out."

Xander shrugged. "Everything's weak after what happened last year, Craig."

Craig turned green and heaved a tiny bit. "Please don't remind me, Mr. Harris." He stepped in when the car came back. Sure enough the potion's shield caught bullets and a stick of dynamite that was burning down. Xander tossed Craig a domed pot lid to put over it. He dropped it in time to keep the damage down.

The officer looked at the doorway then at his arrestee. "I think you're an asshole. You can talk to Internal Affairs." The guy didn't even struggle. Xander looked at them. "We can arrest them once it's safer, sir."

"Thanks. I really didn't want them as dinner guests. Oh, Craig, remind me to tell the composting demons they probably can't have the backyard again."

"I can do that and there's a few areas they could really help in, like a few community gardens." Xander smiled at him. "I'll talk to them later. Are you going to the condo?"

"Hotel. I signed papers to sell the condo the other day."

"Great. I'll have the boss set up something for you so it's safer."

"Thanks. You guys have been great security guys. We'll miss you at the other place." Craig smiled, calling that in. TJ came out of the bedroom. "Craig, we can't move the vault until the other one's ready and sealed."

"We'll have a guard team in this house until it's all moved, Mr. Harris. The boss insists." Xander smiled and nodded, getting back to packing the food up. He took a kiss from TJ, handing him an apple. TJ smirked back. "The boss is arranging a hotel room, Mr. Hammond."

"Thanks, Craig. That's really sweet. You've been great and a lot easier to deal with than the Secret Service." Craig smiled, going to help the officers with the dragging of unconscious people. TJ bit into the apple, looking at Xander. "Is that going to crimp your plans?"

"No. Not in the least. I was thinking about a weekend away at the cabin to check on it before I sold it."

"That's a great idea, see what you want to update to get a better price."

Xander shook his head. "I'm not going to pour that sort of money into it, TJ. Anything I pick someone else will want to fix to their tastes. I always offer credit back for repairs if they find something or if they get pushy to remodel something they swear is far out of date. Which usually means practical instead of uselessly pretty. Some designs these days are worse than trophy wives for that. They're even worse than escorts." TJ choked but he was laughing. "Seriously." Someone ran up to the door and Xander looked. "I've got an intent ward up," he called when they couldn't cross.

"Help, Xander," she panted.

Xander looked out and went to get something, coming out to hit the person holding the officers and guard team hostage with. They got distracted by the beanbag thrower and turned to stare at him so the officers could pounce him. "Today's been a bad day. I'm about to say fuck it and find something to make me forget today happened."

"Pot?" TJ guessed. "Or clubbing?"

Xander looked at him. "Risky to club, TJ. There might be more."

"Point. Pot?"

Xander considered it then sighed. "I can't inhale. I can only choke on it." He grimaced. "Otherwise yeah, I might." He slumped, looking out there. The officers were staring at him. "Tell me you wouldn't need one after today."

"No, I'd be plastered in my favorite chair with my wife locked away from me so she didn't nag and I couldn't hurt her," one said.

Xander considered it. "I could go help the babies in the neonatal ward." TJ choked again. Xander grinned. "It makes you feel a lot better. I won't even go to the drug addicted babies ward."

"Dinner afterward?" he offered.

Xander smiled and nodded. "I could like that. Let me clean up." He went to clean up again and change clothes into going out stuff. He and TJ left, going to the closer children's hospital. Xander went up to the volunteer coordinator's office. "It's been a shit day, Sheila, can I do pity cuddles? Oh, this is TJ, my boyfriend."

The harried woman behind the desk smiled. "Sure, Xander, you've always been a great volunteer. I'd want pity cuddles too with what's been in the press."

"We had three different problems in the neighborhood earlier too. You're going to hear about Tommy's mommy almost making good on the fight the other night. With the kids home." She winced. "Then hunters broke into my house, and then one tried a drive by with cops sitting there."

"We can get you pity cuddles." She got up and handed them special badges. "Put them on, guys." TJ locked his on his shirt button hole while Xander put his on his waistband. She took them up to the nursery. "Hey, Dorothy. They've had a crap day. Can they do the pity cuddling and feeding?"

"It'd save me a ton of work for a few hours if they did. We're short today anyway." She smiled as they put on the protective gear she handed them. "Mr. Harris." He nodded. "C'mon, I have a sweetheart whose mommy walked out. She could use the pity cuddles more than most. We're worried she won't thrive."

"Poor kid," TJ said. "I know almost nothing about kids beyond which end goes up."

The nurse smiled. "It's all right, Mr. Hammond, I won't let you do the hard parts. Here, sit here," she said with a point at a rocking chair. He sat and she handed him a baby then a bottle. "Just let him suck."

"He's so tiny," he said, staring at the tiny thing that fit in one hand.

"He was born too early. His mom was in a car crash and it set her off into early labor. She's in traction so she can't come down to cuddle." Xander had taken his out to cuddle against his shoulder. The baby was already looking better by her monitor readings. TJ let the baby suck on the bottle all he wanted. Xander was cooing while moving around with the baby. "Go ahead and sit, Xander. She's too little to dance yet." He nodded, settling next to TJ to cuddle that one. Dorothy made notes then got back to the work she really needed to do. Including changing some diapers.

TJ looked at Xander. "You've done this before?"

"Yeah, after a few really bad days. I nearly came here after Cordy's funeral but I figured I would've cried on them and they don't need more of that." He looked at the one fussing. "Nurse Dorothy, she's blueish." She rushed over to help the baby breathe better. "And he's blue too," he said with a point. "Here, give me her." She handed over that one, letting him sit her up against his chest while she checked the other one. "Looks like you had a crap day too, kiddo. We can handle that though. You're strong. You can do just as good as I did and be a better guy too." A doctor rushed in at Dorothy's page. "I've got one of them and she's got the other. Hers was positional."

"Okay. Thanks." He checked the other one. "Looks like some snot dripping but you're right, the suction isn't helping much," he said. "We can handle that." He unhooked her, taking the baby to the next room to work on her snot problem with a nurse that came in to help.

Dorothy checked everyone else than came back, carefully taking that one. "You're a good girl," she praised. "Very calm."

"She's not blinking or reacting to words," Xander said. "Is she deaf?"

Dorothy nodded, smiling at him. "Nice catch, she is. She can feel the vibrations when you hold her and talk to her though." She put that one back into her incubator and made sure she wouldn't shift and wiggle again. "There you go, sweetheart." She reattached all her monitors and made a note. Xander went back to humming to his. TJ got a smile from his baby. "Let him burp."

"How do I do that?" She took the baby to burp for him then handed him back. "Oh, okay."

"Let him finish the bottle then do it again. Just gently pat, TJ." She made another note and let the guys calm down with the babies. They were good. TJ even gave a diaper a horrified look but tried a tiny bit when Xander changed one for her.

***

Xander and TJ walked into the Hyperion's office, finding a yelling parent. He cleared his throat but sighed. "We're moving in a week," he told Buffy. "But we're hiring movers."

"That's good. Means I don't have to haul a couch."

Xander nodded. "Pretty much." He looked at the parent. "Ma'am, why are you yelling at her for me and others saving your daughter by having her taken?" She spluttered. "The ones that came after her blew up entire families to get that one daughter in that family. It saved all of you and we made sure your daughter was safer until that threat got stopped. We're lucky we got to save a hundred and eighty of them out of the three hundred that were potentials."

"What if it happens again?" she demanded.

"It can't," Buffy said. "That threat's locked in unless someone tries to reopen it and that's nearly impossible. Especially since the whole town got sucked into that portal."

"At least Spike has smokes and liquor from the liquor store," Xander said dryly. She scowled and hit him on the arm. "He does."

"He does but bad thought, Xander." She looked at the mother again. "Merry was real safe. We were here with me and Faith, plus my watcher and a few of Gunn's people."

"They're a *gang*," she said, glancing around.

"Yeah, one that formed to protect the vulnerable, poor people," Xander said. "I admire Gunn a lot for finding a way to guard the most snacked on people in the city. They're not that sort of gang."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

Buffy nodded. "Gunn's people help a few shelters and patrol around the homeless and poor communities. A lot of LA would rather see them go so they didn't have to see poor people but Gunn's a real role model. He cares more about those people than others who work with them."

The mother nodded. "I can see how that's a good thing for my daughter to see, Miss Summers. Is she ready yet? We've missed her. Her father's really grouchy."

Buffy smiled. "She compared her father to a bear a few times and she bought an extra short skirt to taunt him with to make him complain about other things she said." The mother shook her head but smiled a tiny bit. "Merry, are you about packed up?" she called.

"I can't find my hairbrush," she called back.

Xander looked then stared at the tiny slayer to be. Who pouted at him. "Erica has it I think."

Merry brought her bags down and leaned down to kiss and hug that slayer, taking the brush. She did Erica's hair and her doll's then packed the brush. "Thanks, Erica. I'll see you sometime soon." She blew a kiss then looked at her mother. "They're even more overprotective than Dad is. They wouldn't let me go to the mall by myself."

"Not during an emergency and you're not used to LA," Buffy said with a shrug. "There's guys there who hang out at the mall to pick up young girls to hurt them."

"They're everywhere," Merry said.

"Yeah but at home there's probably only a few," Xander said. "Here they have gangs. We'd never let you out on your own until you were fully able to kick butt and use pepper spray at the least. That way you could protect yourself."

"I like that," Merry's mother agreed. "Thank you for protecting my daughter." She let Merry get hugs then took her to the car so they could drive back to Arizona.

Xander looked at Buffy. "How many left to go home?"

"Seventeen that have no home and another three that're flying out in a few days. They had to get official paperwork to get back home to Europe."

Xander nodded. "At least we managed to save them."

"Yeah, I'm happy we saved so many." She hit him on the arm again. "I heard a lot of freaky stuff from your neighborhood."

"Doesn't match the reality," he said dryly. "It got to the point where I volunteered for a few hours of NICU baby pity cuddling."

She winced. "Like newborns?" Xander nodded. "Why?"

"It's really chest warming," TJ said. "I don't like kids and I sat there for hours holding them and letting them coo on me. One even threw up on me and I thought it was cute. But I still hate kids."

Buffy nodded. "That's really weird, guys." Gunn came in. "Merry just left."

"I heard," Gunn admitted. "Thanks, guys." They grinned. "Xander, what did you do?"

"NICU pity cuddles."

"That's cool, man. That's actually one of those things that reminds you why we fight sometimes. I help my girlfriend babysit her sister's kids at the violence shelter." TJ nodded a bit. Buffy looked confused. "She had to run, Buffy."

"I didn't even think about them having kids."

"A lot do," Xander said. "And there's not enough room in the shelters. They had budget cuts again this year too. I'd like to stick a bezoar up some people's asses and let them eat them from the inside out about those cuts."

"Amen," Gunn quipped. "We'd all like that. They cut funding for all shelters. Even animal shelters and you know they have Hollyweird behind them. We do what we can though."

Xander nodded. "We do. Let me know if I can help?"

"Of course. You're the second person I hit up." He smirked. "The first is a lawyer we know who helps the violence shelter with legal paperwork and divorces." He walked off. "Erica, that's a pretty hairdo."

"Thank you, Gunn." She smiled, hiding her face in her doll. "Hi, Mr. TJ."

He looked at the tiny one that Xander had greeted. "Hi, Erica." He smiled at her, calling up all of his political greeting training. "That is a pretty hairdo." She blushed and ran off to hide and stare at him. He grinned at Xander. "She's cute."

"We'll get to see a lot of her," Buffy said. "She was in the system before we had her saved."

Xander grimaced. "Her watcher?"

"Got arrested," Buffy said with a shrug. "She'll be happier with us. Gunn's friend the social worker is helping us."

"Great. Let me know. I'll be supervising for the next week." Buffy nodded. "Don't you dare hit me again," he said when she was about to. "You bruise me too much and I'll beat you."

"TJ could kiss the booboos to make it better," she quipped, strolling off.

"That's not where I want to kiss him," TJ shot back, making her laugh through choking. They left, going to the hotel. It was safer and easier to decompress there. Xander had a message waiting from his relator friend that someone had signed papers for that pack house. Xander had a happy night making TJ gasp, pant, and beg. It was great they didn't have to wash the sheets in the morning.

***

Xander drove up to the car dealership, getting out with TJ following him. "Is my car fixed?" he asked politely, giving the repair department worker a puppy look.

"Which one is yours, sir?"

"Harris? Smooshed by a witch with a 'tude. Along with half a parking lot and a diner."

"She destroyed a diner?" TJ asked.

Xander looked at him. "No, she dissolved a diner." TJ groaned, shaking his head. "She's still in jail. The judge won't let her out, considers her a threat to humanity." He grinned at the guy, who was calling back to the repair department.

"Mr. Harris?" an older guy in a workshirt that said 'Stan' on it called. Xander walked over to him, shaking his hand. "Your car is a right mess."

Xander nodded. "I'd really like to stomp on her about that. The insurance company thought it could be fixed."

Stan shook his head. "No way in hell. Sorry. Though we wanted to ask you about the little area in the trunk?"

"Oh, shit, I left the apocalypse battle weapons in it. Can I get them?"

"Definitely. Please actually." He led them over to the car.

TJ paused to stare at it, then took off his sunglasses to see more clearly. "How did she do that?"

"The portal crushed it when she opened it a few dozen feet away," Xander said, looking at him. "Because she didn't control it. If you do it right, you can't feel a portal two feet away from the boundaries. But of course Rosenburg couldn't control herself."

"I thought I knew addicts," TJ muttered.

Xander nodded. "Me too. The last fit she had was bad enough." He opened the trunk to open the flap and pull out the weapons he kept in the car. "TJ, there's one under your seat."

"Good to know." He got into the crumpled front area, reaching around to find it. He brought it out and looked at it. "I think it's loaded."

Xander looked then took it to put into his back waistband. "Safety's on. I always keep the safety on and usually a trigger lock if I can." He pulled out a few daggers then reached around. "Ha! There we are. My second baby." He petted the assault rifle. Then the swords. He counted, frowning as he searched.

"We had one fall out on the wrecker's bed," Stan said. "What do you do?"

Xander smiled. "I do protection runes and I'm a part-time hunter during apocalypse moments."

"Oh. We had bets you were a drug dealer or something exotic."

"Sorry, pretty mundane but painful." He took that bagged dagger and nodded, carrying the stuff out to the present trunk.

TJ watched him for a minute then looked at the repair guy. "Has anyone told his insurance people?"

"We tried. They're still insisting it can be fixed." Xander carried out the rest of the things then came back. "They won't listen to us, Mr. Harris."

Xander called in. "Hi, Delbert. It's Xander Harris. I'm at the repair shop and we need you down here please. No, some paperwork stuff about my last car. Really? It can be fixed? Delbert, did you even see my car? No, it didn't roll over. You got me mixed up with someone. I had a witch cave it in with her portal of addiction. Yes I am covered for witches, Delbert. I have that speciality rider for supernatural damage," he said dryly. "I'm at the dealership I bought it from less than a year ago, Delbert. Sure, I can wait. Thanks, man." He hung up. "He said twenty minutes and he's swearing about my speciality rider."

"Think he'll try to cancel your policy?" TJ asked.

"Hell no. He works with the community. He knows I'm a good client and I hardly claim anything. I could've claimed all the times those hunters broke in and didn't. I just had it fixed."

TJ nodded. "That's insane. Expensive and insane, Xander."

Xander smiled. "The new place is much safer. Even if the ram the gate like they tried on the last place, it'll eat them. I made sure of it." He smirked. "I've set it so it won't catch you. You left a dirty t-shirt by the way. Thanks."

TJ smirked at him. "I'm in the protections?"

"Yeah, that way you can sneak in sometimes to surprise me." He took a quick kiss and grinned. "You're not on the vault, because that would be dangerous for you, but you're on the house's security system."

"Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome." His insurance agent huffed in. Xander pointed. Delbert looked and whined. "Yeah, that was my feeling too. Thankfully Rosenburg's still in jail."

His insurance guy came over to look it over. "I guess we'll have to replace it." He looked at Xander. "The higher ups hate your rider and all supernatural damage."

"That's why I only claim huge problems," he said. "I haven't claimed any of the times the hunters broke in, Delbert. Or when that vampire group tried to take me hostage so I could be turned and become their queen." TJ walked off giggling. "They promised to pick you up too, TJ," he called after him. "I called your buddy out there to warn you."

"I thought they were jealous of me."

Xander grinned at him. "They were. They were going to let you be my first feeding and play toy while I was properly mated to whichever one won the dominance fight. They thought you couldn't keep up with a vampire who needs viagra."

"I've never needed that help," he said dryly. But he was smirking. "You'd turn me?"

"That way I'd have someone fun to hang out with forever, dear. If Cordy was alive I'd have brought her too."

"You're warped, Xander."

"I need caffeine."

"There's a starbucks up the street when you're done."

"Cool. I didn't see that." He looked at his insurance guy, who was shaking his head. "At least I'm fun, Delbert, and I'm pretty easy to handle. I pay on time."

"You do," he admitted, finishing the paperwork and taking pictures for the claim. He showed Xander where to sign. "Are you renting that playboy car out there?"

Xander grinned. "I needed something fast and hot to match TJ," he purred. Delbert shook his head. "I do."

"I'm sure you do. Get an audi like the evil genius ads?"

"I thought about that but they're jaguars and everyone would think I had passed over." He batted his eyes at him. "How long?"

"Ten days probably, Xander." Xander hugged him and bounded off to get more caffeine. "Sorry about him. He does calm down when he's had caffeine."

The repair guy smiled. "We all took bets about him when we found swords. At least he's nice and not shrieking like some boys do these days."

"I think he only shrieks at his boyfriend." He handed the repairman a copy of the paperwork. "Maybe we can use it as a lesson to teenagers about driving poorly."

"I know someone who does that lecture set. I'll ask 'em."

"Thanks. Or sell it for scrap and tell me how much so I can deduct it from the payment please." He shook his hand again then left to go have a headache in his office. This year had been bad for supernatural injuries to houses, people, and property. Thankfully the higher ups couldn't deny that an invasion and then an apocalypse battle happened. Even if they had held most of the policies for the houses in Sunnydale.

***

TJ looked around as they drove through the gate to the new house. "Nice looking neighborhood."

Xander smiled. "I'm just outside a HOA area too. Thankfully. No monthly dues but I don't get to use the tennis courts I wouldn't use anyway."

"Tennis can be fun but it's not my favorite game either," TJ said. The driveway wasn't that long. The house sat closer to the front of the lot than the middle. TJ looked it over. "It's like a mediterranean mixed with a fairytale castle." In front of the tan house was a rounded, large entryway with the mediterranean styling but the tower room on top of it was turned into a more spire than a gentle tip on most of that style. The house flowed from the rounded entry area to wings on both sides of the house. The one on the right had a second story and the left mirrored for a bit then faded to a single level, it but you could tell by the windows there weren't rooms up there. The right side's second story faded down to the three car garage. "This is nice." Xander grinned. "Is it a fusion?"

"The relator's records called it a contemporary mediterranean. I just changed that one roof line and the walkways out back a bit to add in the fairytale castle look that I like but I didn't want to fully live in. I don't need a castle right now." He hit the opener, letting them park in the single part of the garage. Xander led him in, which was into the hallway next to the large kitchen. "It was originally all white with just dark counters and stainless steel appliances."

"Lots of cabinets," TJ said, looking at the slightly tinted toward green, just a hint of color in the paint, cabinets. They ringed the large square room and fit under the mixed glass island that was the size of a king sized bed. The caesar stone looked like cuts of geodes and marbles pressed into a slab, all in the blues and green shades. TJ looked at the other counters, smiling. They were caesar stone pressed glass ones in a rough grayish pattern that looked like it had been pulled off some mountainside but had removable places that held cutting boards in wood, marble, and clear glass.

The center island's bolder colors on the counter drew the eye there and let the rest look like a normal kitchen but the two patterns didn't clash at all. "This is really nice." He opened the door of the mostly hidden restaurant style refrigerator. The front had panels that matched the cabinets so you could only see the handles. It had a huge freezer section, which was reasonable since Xander didn't cook real often but often warmed things up. The stove was a six burner electric one with double ovens. "Not gas?" he asked with a point.

"I really hate using gas. I realize why chefs like it but the gas gives me a headache." He shrugged slightly. "There's a mircowave in the island and the dishwasher drawers are over here." He pointed at them. "The original owner put in dual ones so I changed one out to the drawer system so we don't have to run the whole thing if we just have a few plates. I have no idea how I'm going to fill all this or what to put in the few that have glass fronts instead of full doors."

"We can figure that out." He smiled, walking into the family room area, which had hardwood floors. It had nice french doors to the pool area. "Is that a party cave?"

Xander leaned against his back, kissing his neck. "It's a small lazy river. It let me join the three pool areas and take out the putting green I wouldn't use," he said quietly. "The hot tub's off to the side of the cave structure. If I had more time I probably would've made it a full loop instead of a line from one pool to the other one." TJ smiled at him. "I saw one done that way on an epic pool show on tv. That guy spent nearly a mil making his lazy river that covered over two acres and had a party cave as part of it."

"Way too much."

"He was in Texas too so really high water bill for the summer. They said it took seven pumper trucks to fill that pool. Ours only took two."

"That's nice. Nice deck chairs." He looked around. "What's that ivy covered area?"

"It originally had a picnic table but now has a set of loungers. That's the near the guest house area, which is now the work area and the vault," he said quietly. "But I have a few more surprises. Even I was shocked as hell at the closet. It's the size of our old bedroom." TJ gave him a look. "Really. All white too. The last owner apparently had issues with white." He led him to the formal living room, which had white marble floors and a fireplace between extra large floor to high ceiling windows. The main bedroom was nicely oversized, had their bed already, and they needed better lamps because Xander's old ones looked poor.

Xander let him into the en suite bathroom. It had a long two sink vanity on the left with a long mirror behind it. On the right was a clear glass modern looking shower but someone had etched the center body portions for modesty without sacrificing the overall look. At the end was a makeup table and a single stone marble oval tub. That was probably too heavy to replace or move. The toilet's doorway was behind the door and it had its own doorway for privacy. "This is a bit light." A lot of white again with hints of tan.

Xander nodded. "The last people had some sort of fascination with white. At least we have some tan. I would've replaced the tub with something more classic but no one could move it. That thing weighs more than the car does."

"That figures." He let Xander lead him to the closet. It had a doorway back in the bedroom. TJ blinked at all the white. White built in cabinets, like french style kitchen cabinets but with hanging rods. Most of them had two rows of rods, but one of them had a set of tipped shelves for shoes. There were two small windows on each side of the center white shelving unit that was longer hanging rods plus the end had clear glass doors with multiple drawers under that. He looked around then at Xander. "Paint?"

"I thought about stripping it and staining but..." He waved a hand. "I can't fill this and it doesn't have a few things I could use. I know that the last person probably had a wife or something, hence the dress hanging areas and all the shoe storage." TJ cracked a smile, nodding. "I'd want a bench in here, a set of real drawers for t-shirts and underwear. The few drawers in here are pretty short on depth." He looked around. "I'd take out that center area and put something along that wall with better drawers plus a bench to sit on while you're putting on shoes. It's way too fancy for me."

"It is, and really white," TJ agreed. Xander smirked at him. TJ looked around again. "I can see why you'd want to put in a bench and some more drawers. Right now it's set apart from each other so I guess she could get dressed without him staring at her." He walked around the huge room that was half the size of the kitchen. "This is bigger than the bedroom."

"Yup."

"Safe?" TJ asked with a point.

"No, apparently they needed decorative panels. Will there e a safe? Yup but not there. I like hidden ones."

"I can see how that's a great idea." He looked around again. "It's nice they arranged it so it was decorated with the cabinet detailing but I think whoever did this had OCD. That's the only reason for no color other than white."

"The whole kitchen had been white except for the stainless appliances and thin, dark counters. I'm so glad we got that painted."

TJ looked at the same hardwood floors that had been in the family room area then around again. "We can convert this easily, Xander. Probably without affecting resale value. We'll keep some of the shoe storage too for when you sell it." The walked on to look at the other bedrooms and one that had been sealed off as the upstairs safe room. TJ looked then nodded it was good. "We can add survival supplies for food and water."

"I have that planned but I have to go to the store. I haven't bought food yet." He took TJ's hand so they could use the elevator instead of the stairs to go to the basement area. "There's three areas down there. One is this party area," he said, letting him look around. It had a nice looking bar area that didn't have many mirrors to annoy anyone. It had a pool table too. "It came with the house." TJ smiled, looking around.

"We have a minor research and working area so I can run down to do fast things," he said, letting him see in there. "The security system's already up in both physical, virtual, and magical." He smiled. "There's a tunnel out to the real work area in here too." He walked TJ back to the other side. "This is just your area. Including a sleeping nook if you get tired and want to sleep without me cuddling." He opened the double doors and let TJ walk in and look around.

There was a baby grand piano in there, like the one he had at his apartment in DC. The floors were wood but a darker shade. The walls weren't padded with insulation against the noise. He had french doors that led out to the patio area. He opened them, smiling at the sound of the lazy river bubbling and sat down at the piano to play something simple. "The room sounds amazing, Xander."

He looked around then at his smiling boyfriend. "Absolutely great." Xander came in to kiss him then sat on the small loveseat in there. TJ settled in to play. The sound carried outside and all over the downstairs area, plus he had a small box sitting next to his music holder that was apparently his broadcast system for the downstairs area. He hit one to see how it sounded, pretty good overall. He went back to playing, smiling at how it merged well with the outside noises. He finally gave up and went outside with Xander, who let him look up at the new walkways he had put up. "So there's terraces back here?"

"I had them put on all the rooms and to the important areas."

"They look like the parts of a castle that people patrol on."

"Crenelations? I was hoping so." He grinned. "That's the other castley part I added on. I did hide some of it with the iron work, and more's coming tomorrow. A bit of it was running behind." He let TJ go look at the water and the outside of the guest house. It still had doors and windows but you couldn't see inside. TJ strolled back after a glance at the outdoor kitchen and new looking concrete tables out by the far swimming area.

"There's one neighbor who can look in." Xander pointed at them. "And I was warned she might be a crank if we ran around naked. I said to let her come, we're young people and if I want to run around naked in my pool area it was good for me." TJ laughed but nodded. "We have lights out here but they're not super bright. They're pointed toward the edges of the pool so the water area doesn't get too bright. The plants all have low water and reclaimed water systems to spray them so we don't need to use a hose."

"That's good." They walked around the rest of the property then went back in through the piano room to go upstairs. "Should I worry about any stashes of weapons?"

Xander opened one. It had looked like part of a media cabinet. "All rooms but the formal living room I figure we'll probably never use have a hidden stash of simple things."

TJ nodded, looking it over. A few handguns and bullets, a sword, a stake set, and a small axe and machete against the sides. "That's nice." They went back to the kitchen to work on the grocery list. The rest of their stuff was getting there the next day. So they went to the grocery store and TJ figured out what he wanted to cook for dinner. Xander could stare in awe at him. They picked up some barstools to be put against the island for easy eating there. Plus white plates. That way it wouldn't clash with anything and because Xander had a mixed up set of found plates, bowls, and glasses. TJ could cook while Xander put together the barstools. Then they went to christen the bedroom with some tv watching and cuddling. Sex would be later since Xander admitted they had to buy a new washer and dryer, he had forgotten.

They could find it at the same time they bought things for the other rooms.

***

Gunn looked up as Faith and a few of his guys came into the office. "What's up, guys?"

"Did you know Harris moved into some huge mansion?" one complained.

Gunn stared at him. "After how many times he got broke into? I'm happy he moved."

"It's still huge."

"It's four bedrooms now," Faith said. "Two got converted into a safe room and a workout room. Six bathrooms but most of the house is open area for parties. It's like most guy's dream."

"It's got a pool," one complained. "We're having a drought."

"All the stuff he has to water is cleaned and recycled," Gunn said. "He got some engineering guy at UCLA or wherever to make him one that goes into any house that has a pool."

"Why doesn't he get to donate to the shelters?" another asked more quietly.

"He does," Gunn said. "That's how the paychecks and food happened for the last two months." The guys all grimaced. "Harris may live large but he doesn't own a lot, guys. He takes whatever extra he makes when he updates properties for the community into the next house. He got that one with what he sold the last one for plus a bit extra. I've heard he bought a cabin in Lake Tahoe once and he's selling it now too. He doesn't charge us a lot of money for the protections. A lot of the ones doing that sort of work would. Or in emergencies jacking up the prices."

Faith nodded at that. "I heard one of the alphas asked that during that info meeting he did with them. He sneered back about not being one of them. X only really makes money from those kits of his."

"He's too well watched to put out another one," Gunn said. "Or else he might've recently."

"Nothing else would've fought her or the Bringers," Faith said with a slight shrug at the end.

"Point," Gunn agreed. "Maybe he'll put out a few new genie kits. Those are always fun to watch go on." She walked off smiling. "You got mail earlier," he called after her. He looked at his guys. "Xander already does a lot for us and the community, guys."

"He seems to care more about the demons than the humans," one complained.

"Well, yeah, we've been shit to him," Gunn said, staring at him. "Humans have attacked him, tried to kill him, tried to take what he's protecting out of the vault to use against him and others. If I was Xander I wouldn't have anything to do with most humans."

"That's the other hunters."

"Not all of them. Xander was at the grocery store the other night for soda and some lady walked up to him and hit him for daring to be around *normal* people." They all winced. "Went off on him about how he might be protective but he was just as bad as the demons were and we all needed to die. Xander just sneered. I would've hit her back."

"Me too," the guys mumbled.

"Does his boyfriend know about that?" one asked.

"Nope, probably not. He might've seen it a few times. I'm wondering if his mother's going to ask TJ to not date Xander for a while to ease her way or if she'll try to claim cred among the communities because of Xander. I know Xander's threatened if people don't leave him alone he's going to run for president some day." They all smirked at that. Xander hated to dress up, he'd hate that job. "Xander set them up a nice, protective nest, guys. TJ might not be permanent yet. He's got a few fatal flaws like a drug habit. I think Xander likes him because he's not perfect but he's broken in ways he understands. With his family and Rosenburg he'd never understand normal people. Though I asked," he said, staring at one. "He was flirting with you. You were stupid."

"I didn't realize. Huh." He considered it. "I might've taken him up on it for a while but I think I'd rather have a girlfriend overall. Maybe kids some day."

Gunn smiled. "They went to the neonatal unit recently to get pity cuddles with the babies when they had to move."

"Aww," one said, walking off. "Thanks, Gunn. You might want to explain that to others. There's some resentment over the wallet."

"I can do that," he promised. "Be damned if I want that to go on." He followed them back to the gang's meeting area, looking around. "Guys, let's talk." They all stared at him.

***

TJ followed Xander out of the furniture store scowling. His boyfriend was angry. "I would've hit her," he said.

Xander stopped to stare at him. "Then I'd get thrown in jail for assault. Unfortunately people like that are all over. He smirked at the evilly smirking bitch. "I hope your skin cancer kills you, bitch. You deserve it, you trophy wife slut. By the way, how is that porn habit going? I'm pretty sure I caught the last tape you put out." She fled crying. He looked at TJ. "Let's buy that couch somewhere else."

"Yeah, I'm all for that." He glared at that woman's back as she pulled out of her parking spot. "Let's walk off before she runs into us." Xander tossed down something when she tried. It crumpled the back of her car. Then he walked off. "Is that the stuff you put over the doorway?" he asked as he followed.

"Yup, sure is. I hope her insurance company doesn't allow the claim. I should find out who they are and have them get the store's security camera footage."

TJ smiled. "I can hear the hold music from her crappy phone. It's Nationwide. We can tip off the local office." Xander smiled at him. They got in, TJ driving, and headed off with a happy beep at her. He spotted a Nationwide office and went in to tell the receptionist about that incident so they could find her claim and that tape since it was apparently her fault. Then he got back in and drove off. "Ask Gunn where a good place is?"

"He thought there was."

"Pity. We can find somewhere better or a designer."

"I'm not used to that and I'm not totally made of money, TJ."

"That's fine. Designers aren't that expensive." He looked at him. "They can even test sit and match things."

"I'm not sure what I want."

"I get that. I have no idea what to do with that expanse of white either." Xander grinned. He spotted a road sign and smiled. "Can you buy more expensive stuff?"

"Yeah. Probably."

"What's our budget?"

"Under sixty thou to furnish the rest of the house and fix that closet."

TJ considered it. "We can live with the closet for a bit."

Xander sighed. "I can put out another few djinn kits or another version of that."

"That would get you more people like that."

"She was mad that the invasion bothered her hair appointment."

"Sure, we'll leave off saving the world so she can get a haircut," TJ said dryly. "I thought DC had shallow people."

Xander shook his head. "They come here then move to Miami." He shifted to look at him better. "Do you want to go to the neighbor's party? We got invited."

"I'm always up for a good party."

"I don't know these people, TJ. Or how they'll act."

"Hmm. We'll...go walking later and maybe meet a few neighbors that way?"

"Maybe," he agreed. "I could like that."

"Do you want pets?"

"I'm not sure I could handle having something needing me all the time."

"That's a good point," TJ decided, pulling into a parking spot. He smiled. "We can handle that furniture thing." Xander smiled back, getting out after TJ did. TJ drew attention, he was famous. A few stared at Xander in horror but most didn't say anything.

"Mr. Hammond," the shop owner said, smiling and shaking his hand. "What can we do for you today?"

"This is my boyfriend and he's just bought a house. He went from three bedrooms and about four thousand square feet to four bedrooms and ten thousand square feet."

"I understand perfectly. Where did you buy, sir?" He blinked at Xander. "Mr. Harris, I met you at a party last year."

"Oh, yeah, where the hunters tried to get in to get that senator." He shook his hand with a smile. "I bought in Calabasas. Just outside an HOA area thankfully. It was awfully white before." He pulled up pictures on his phone. "These are the bare rooms." He let him see it. "The old owner really loved white everything."

"I can see that." He walked them off. "Bedroom first I think."

The boys shared a look then at him. "We have a huge meeting area downstairs and a living room first," Xander said. "I've got a budget for today since I'm looking for a new project house to flip."

"What's your budget for this one?"

"I'm thinking about fifty grand."

"Per room?"

"For the house."

"That's not that unreasonable. What's your usual style like?"

"I've never really been that fashionable guy. I'm a comfy, lounging on the couch, occasionally napping on the couch, cuddling TJ on the couch sort. Eating dinner sometimes too."

"So probably nothing too modern, which is popular but that makes it expensive." He led them to the living room sets. Xander wandered over to one to test sit then another one. "That one does come with an option of a sectional instead, which would be good for the formal living room. Are you bleeding?"

Xander looked at his backside, letting TJ look. "No, it's not on him," TJ said. He pushed on the couch cushion but Xander moved him and looked, letting him see the body in there. "That's nasty. Though I did like the couch."

"We can talk about the options away from that," he said, getting someone over to look then call that in. "There's such a homelessness problem around here."

"I work with people who help them," Xander agreed, following him off. "Gunn's gotten a lot of flack for helping protect them from the vampire menace."

The salesman looked at him. "I didn't even think about that."

Xander nodded. "Gunn's people run a safe shelter and do a lot of good."

"I do like Gunn. He's a smart, good guy," TJ agreed. "I've met do gooders before but he actually walks the walk instead of just throwing money at it. I respect that guy for that alone."

"Huh." The salesman nodded. "Guys like that are rare today."

"Especially in LA," Xander said. "We were somewhere earlier and had to walk away because the invasion had upset someone's hair appointment so she let me know at the top of her lungs."

The salesman winced, shaking his head. "No, on this end of LA we're smarter, practical usually, and not that whiny, Mr. Harris. Even if this is near Rodeo Drive, we're not that shallow here." He led them to another set and Xander test sat then smiled and nodded. "This is great and it comes with a lot of options so we can probably do your big downstairs area with it. What's this room off to the side?"

"TJ's piano room." He smiled at him then at the salesman. "It sounds marvelous in there."

"That's sweet." He smiled at TJ, who grinned back.

"He spoiled me rotten with that one room. Plus he redid the kitchen so it's not a mess of white everything." He let him see the pictures TJ had taken to send to his mother.

"I know that house," he admitted. "I remember that white kitchen."

"Should see the master closet," Xander said, shaking his head with a sigh. "So much white cabinets."

"There's a nice closet organizing service up the road a bit. She can fix that." Xander smiled. "She's real reasonable as well. I know she didn't design that, the old owner did."

"That figures with as much shoe room as they had," Xander quipped. "And no bench to sit on when you put them on." The salesman laughed but nodded, going to get the information on that set of furniture. "Not white?" he asked.

"Definitely not white. Maybe a subtle stripe?" He sat beside him. "This is comfortable. I hope it has a sectional option."

"It does," the salesman said, handing over that packet. "As for fabrics, we can do it in anything in here. That's their company's book." He settled in with them to work on options and what they'd need. Five thousand each for two sectionals, another two thousand each for a few more sitting areas, plus a coffee table or three and a few other options for the bigger area downstairs. It spent all their budget but everything was covered outside that closet. They'd have it in four weeks. They went up the street to the closet place the salesman had recommended. Xander was calling his bank balance to check on them.

TJ looked at him. "Transfer go okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine, but I don't want to go over ten grand."

"That's fine," he agreed. "You should be able to fully redo it for that."

"The last owners spent sixty for that single room. I asked the realtor they listed it through. She bragged."

"That figures." They walked into the closet organizing place and Xander smiled since the young woman was a partial demon. "Hi," TJ said.

"Boys." She smiled, looking at Xander.

"I'm so glad you're not one of the haters I ran into earlier at the other furniture store."

"Even if I was that shallow I'd hate to be that way," she said.

"The nice furniture place back a few blocks suggested you," TJ said with a smile.

"Okay. Are we doing a new closet organizing system?"

Xander pulled up pictures to show her. "Not a single place to sit. Way too much shoe room, a lot of cabinetry."

She stared at it. "Wow. Huge closet, Mr. Harris."

"Yeah, and I'd like it to work for me. It doesn't have a lot of drawers and they're all shallow. It's way too kitcheny for me too."

"I can see that." She looked up at him. "That's not that hard to fix."

"I'd have no idea how to start. Beyond pulling out that center area."

She nodded. "That's a bit awkward," she agreed.

"I was thinking some sort of shelving there and a bench to sit to put on your shoes. There's a lot of cabinet panels that don't do anything beyond matching the rest."

"It's also blindingly white," TJ complained.

"Yes it is. I can definitely come see it to give you ideas." She handed back the phone with a smile. "When's a good time for you?"

Xander shrugged. "As far as I know I don't have a single thing for weeks."

"Not going to the wedding?"

"No. That way I don't have my scent drive someone nuts. I hate that."

"I can understand that." She looked at her book then at him. "I'm free tomorrow at three." He nodded. "What's your address?" He wrote it out for her. "That's a charming area." She smiled. "Some of your closer neighbors are all right but a few on the other end of that area are that same sort of hater."

"We had one yell at him because the invasion upset her hair appointment," TJ said dryly. She burst out giggling, shaking her head. "Yeah."

"It got to the point where I hoped she died from her skin cancer," Xander said with a sigh at the end. "That was mean of me but I couldn't take her and then she tried to hit us with her car."

She nodded. "There's a few like that around here and they tend to have tiny purse dogs but some of the ones that carry them are all right."

"I'll keep that in mind but most of the time I don't hang out with celebrities." He nodded politely at the woman walking in. He looked at her again. "I'd like to keep that closet under ten grand."

"I can probably do a lot for that budget, Mr. Harris. Don't you worry. We'll fix that white lady's closet tomorrow." He smiled and shook her hand, nodding politely at the purse dog lady as he and TJ moved past her. She smiled at her other client. "He had one of the shallow ones yell at him earlier," she said.

"Some of those are dumb," that woman agreed. "Isn't he that guy that was doing the invasion thing?"

"He fought it," she agreed with a smile. "That's Mr. Harris. He does the protection runes around hospitals and occasionally puts out a kit to let one who's lazy summon a genie."

"That's charming."

The designer smiled. "It weeds out a lot of the ones that'd cause huge problems by accident and then demand we fix it for them."

"My son's turning into one of those."

"Xander's kits come out at about twenty thousand on amazon."

"I'll watch my credit card too. So, my closet system?"

"It's all in and I have delivery coming in two days with the workmen to make sure they go up correctly. All you need to do is look it over and sign the papers then pick out hanger colors." She led her into the back, showing her what had come in. It was pretty but practical.

***

Faith showed up and TJ let her in the gate, paying the cab when she got out. The cabbie left again. Faith whistled, looking around. "This is nice."

TJ smiled and nodded. "It's very nice. The fountain out here has a crack he's going to fix this weekend but otherwise we're waiting on things to show up so we have couches." He led her inside. "Xander's out in the work area, let me call." He called his cellphone. "Faith's here."

Xander came in from the backyard a minute later. "Hey, Faith." He punched her on the arm. "Come see the kitchen. It's why I borrowed Gunn's girlfriend since she has good color matching skills."

She followed, whistling again. "This is bigger than the first apartment I lived in." She ran a hand over the pretty island's glass top. "That's beautiful and not too overpowering with the way it's only here." She smiled. "Gunn's girl did good."

"She did." He grinned. "What's up?"

"Gunn heard about the trophy slut. It was caught on the news."

"Did the store hand over the rest of the video?" TJ asked. He got them bottles of water. "You missed lunch," he told Xander.

"I'm trying to talk myself out of putting out a new kit that would probably cause some hell but it'd be funny hell. Remind me I have ethics?"

TJ stared at him. "You do have ethics. If you turn into an evil bastard I have to leave you. Mom said so."

Xander nodded. "I'd never go that evil. Maybe a different type of genie?"

"No, boytoy," Faith said. "That'd be bad. The other sort need sexual payment."

Xander grinned. "They do." TJ shuddered. "Or you can take their place if you don't note that in the wish."

"That'd still be mean, Xander. People that buy those kits don't read the directions."

"I know." He grinned. "There's a whole new group of lazy, stupid ones though."

"Still too evil," TJ said.

"Maybe you should take that evil from him," Faith quipped.

TJ smirked. "It didn't work earlier." She giggled, blushing some. He looked at Xander. "Put out the old one."

"Fine. I can do that. I just need to change some of the directions because they changed some of the summoning rite since they got so busy. They'd still show up but they'd be mad."

"Not something we need," Faith agreed. She looked out back. "I should've brought my bikini."

"You're welcome to come hang out in the pool, Faith."

"Thanks, boytoy." She sipped her water, looking at TJ. "They did release the rest of the video to the tabloid sort and the police when they demanded. One tab tried to edit it, the other one let it out uncensored. That TMZ guy said he'd have hit her."

"I wanted to," Xander said. "But I would've been arrested and been on the same ward as Rosenburg."

"They finally gave her bail and Giles arranged for her to go back to Devon."

"Considering two of them were with her and got arrested too?" TJ asked dryly. "Is that a good idea?"

"Only one he had outside of a burning pile of wood."

"She attacks me again and I'll do some chopping," Xander quipped.

Faith looked at him. "You remember she used to hack?"

"Yup, and the bank knows. So does my investment guy." He grinned. "I made a good decision early on to give myself a trust fund. That way I'm not ever broke enough to strip again."

She patted him on the arm. "You'd make tons, X." He smirked and nodded. "Serial killer there?"

"Master vampire and an alpha were from upstate." She moaned, shaking her head. "I made a lot for that week out of my three months there. I had to sit them down and remind them that they were doing stupid things in public."

"Damn," she said. "Anyone got film? It might help B's uptightness."

"Not that I know of. Besides, I'm always more impressive in person."

"I'm sure you are. Her birthday's coming up."

"I'll hire her a stripper."

"Little D signed her up on dating sites." Xander burst out giggling, leaning on the counter. "Yeah, we thought so too but she got a date out of it. He was kinda normal but in awe of her."

Xander looked at her, grinning. "Are they still dating?"

"Nah. His wife minded."

He grinned. "That's cool. Thank you, Faith. I needed that laugh." He hugged her then went to the fridge. "We have fruit I think." He looked. Then a few things got tossed. "We have peaches and yogurt." He looked at her. "You need to eat."

"I'm good. I gained it all back."

Xander looked her over then shook his head. "You used to have curves that made men stare in awe, Faith. They're tiny, like Buffy's, now."

"Fine, feed me up." She sipped her water, looking at TJ. "You get the same thing?"

"No, a lot of times I'm making him eat." He looked at his boyfriend. "He seems to work a lot."

"We can go have fun tonight," Xander said, smiling at him.

"Someone thought you snubbed everyone by not going to the wedding."

"I got asked not to go to the wedding," Xander said, looking at her. He handed her a plate of fruit and yogurt plus a spoon. "Patrick's successor wrote me a nice letter asking me not to come because whatever scent thing I have going on would upset the mating or drive a young one nuts."

"He's real anti-human anyway," she said.

"Could he shun Xander somehow?" TJ asked. Both of the hunters nodded. "Would that cause you problems?"

"Quite possibly," Xander admitted. "A lot of places I hang out at are community safe. They'd all start getting antsy about me. Plus the grocery store I like is run by a pack." Faith nodded. "The only real reason he could shun me is if I take one of the pack members out. Then I'd have the right to fight it among all the groups."

"He's had to take someone out in the past to protect himself," Faith said. "The packs are getting antsy about all humans again because of that new legislation. One tried to scare me off so I patted him on the head and told him to be a good furry toy somewhere else."

"I've had to cart one home that got out," Xander admitted. "I got some really hate filled looks." She nodded. "Something got said?"

"They said you were a snide, evil shit of a human."

"I saved the young thing from eating a bimbo and being taken out," he said. "I told them where I found him and how he was going to get into a sorority house."

"Yeah, they're still trying, X."

"Then I won't send my present of a special rune set for their nursery." He shrugged.

"They can't reuse it?" TJ asked.

"No. Some of those are based on location," Xander said. "Which way the room's facing and a few other things are taken into account too. If they're in that pack's house and they have one, it'd work for upstairs and downstairs but not if they're in a different house."

"I didn't know that."

"I can deliver it," Faith said.

"I can do that." Xander went to his office, which was off the family room area, and came back with a pretty envelope. "Thanks, Faith."

"Welcome."

"Let me know if they try something?"

"Of course. I wouldn't let you wander into that alone." She finished her snack. "Show me this pool area, guys. That way I know if I need to gussy up before I get here." They smiled, taking her outside to show off the grounds. She nodded because it was pretty. "I definitely need a pretty bikini. I'll be back tomorrow with one." She called a cab and left a few minutes later. She went to the pack house, paying and getting out. She looked at the two guards. "Huge shit I should worry about?" she asked.

"A few alphas meeting, Slayer Faith," one said. "That a problem?"

"Wedding present."

"They're in there," a pack second said from the doorway. "There's complaining."

"Usually," Faith said dryly. She walked in and handed the wife of that set the gift. "From Harris."

She sneered. "He's not one of us."

"No, but he's a vital member of the community," the head alpha said. "How is he doing, Faith?"

"Settling into the new house."

"His wards didn't protect Patrick," the future wife complained shrilly.

"He told everyone during that meeting that no runes would keep the First out," the alpha told her. "Everyone there heard him. Patrick also had the First show up at his house to overhear what we knew about her." She burst out crying. "I'm sorry your brother was there but even real magic users wouldn't have been able to save them."

"The only one we know who survived the Bringers was immortal," Faith said quietly, staring at her. "Xander's the reason that the kids had that safe spot to be at during the battle. Gunn couldn't have done that or gotten in the chaos mages in to help. No one could've protected that house. Don't you think he would've done something if he could've? I mean, he blew a ton of poker debts getting the minis safely out of harm's way to protect them and their families.

"He wouldn't have let the community die." That girl got up to stomp off. Faith looked at the future husband, who was sneering. "Anyway, he offered a special warding for the nursery. He said you can't really reuse them. There's something about location and the like." She shrugged, looking at the head alpha in LA. "Beyond that, he's settled in pretty well. He's got to get some couches but I have pool lounging rights."

The new head alpha smiled at her. "I'm sure it'll be a good point of relaxation for you, Slayer."

"I hope so. B's miserable without a new date."

The young one stomped back in. "I put forth a motion that Xander Harris be shunned from the community," she said, tossing down papers. "He's hurt us."

"Since when?" Faith demanded.

"You're not one of us," she sneered.

"No but I can make your wedding a funeral if you sneer at me again, little whelp," Faith assured her. "Since I'm a guardian of this community and so is he, officially named, you'd better explain yourself really damn fast."

"He brought home one of us, shaming him totally."

"As opposed to letting him be killed for breaking into a sorority?" Xander said from the doorway. He walked in and dropped something in front of the alpha. "Came from New York's community with a hunter." He stared at the little bitch. "He was about to rip up a lot of people. He would've died for that. It may have shamed him but it saved his ass. He had no reason to be changed that far from the pack anyway. That violates local pack rules that Patrick set down and he was still alive then."

"You killed one of us."

"I'll be damned if self protection still isn't a right afforded to people," he shot back.

"You could have submitted," the new head alpha said, smirking at him.

"Why would I have wanted that mangy curr?" Xander said icily. "I didn't want him. I have a boyfriend, he's fantastic. I'm not going to trade up for some deluded, scent addled little bitch who would have whined when I made him my bitch. Because I'm not a beta *anything*. I gave him the mercy because I figured he was scent addled for some reason. That was up to him and I would've forgotten it until he attacked and made it me killing him or me taking him out properly in combat. Which I did." The alpha winced.

"You were there and saw it. Your second-in-command was there too because I knocked him out when he had his friends attack me too. Did you want me to kill him? I could have. I can do it now if you demand it of me." He stared him down. The bitch shrieked and tried to hit him so he ducked and pushed her away. "You're not a pack protector and barely an adult. You don't attack me without me hurting you back," he warned.

"Sit down and learn something." He looked at the pack alpha again and she tried to attack with a knife. He broke her arm and took the dagger, tossing it to Faith. Then he pushed her into a chair and set her arm. "Pups shouldn't whine around adult business," he said firmly, glaring down at her. "You've just proved you're a pup." He backed off. "Anyway, the hunter told me one of the ones that only thinks with only his shotgun and his dick was the one that attacked that pack out east and they have a lot of kids in hiding. He stopped in on the pack leaders in Chicago, Baltimore, and now here. He knew not to come here, whatever scent thing I do he has some of."

The alpha read that letter, grimacing. "We'd be more than happy to accept some of the whelps, Xander. Let him know?" Xander nodded, sending that text message. "Who's the alpha out there?"

"His wife barely survived," he said, looking up. "That's good, he's got three of them headed this way on a train. They're too weak to fly." He sent back a message then another one. "I'm telling Petey at the train station. That way he doesn't freak out like last time at their injuries." He put his phone back to stare at him. "Petey has blood scent issues. It's why he's employed there, so he can sniff drugs and stuff." He shrugged. "Petey's really funny and he uses it to make beer money sometimes."

The alpha shook his head. "That's not a good use."

Xander nodded. "Yeah but he's twenty-three and he's bored. It's that or date."

"I'd rather have him showing off. It makes people feel better and safer with the unmated ones around," the second-in-command said. "Did it break, Hunter?"

"Sure did. I reset the bone. She'll be fine." He nodded. "Bitchy but fine. I'd hate to see what she does to her future kids." He looked at her. "You remind me of Rosenburg's mom but she's a shrink." She started to really cry. He looked at Faith. "Have you met Petey yet?"

"Yeah, I have. Great guy. Swatted me on the ass and grinned at me, said I needed it because no one else appreciated it the right way. I couldn't be mad at that grin of his."

Xander nodded. "He's cute that way."

The head alpha shook his head. "We should not be mingling that way."

Xander stared at him. "That legislation is to protect you. That's the only way they could figure out how to make it so killing one of you was illegal because the right wing nutjobs wouldn't admit you're human under the wolf. The governor even went to the supreme court justice he knew to get his advice on the wording."

"Point I suppose but it does open us up."

Faith shrugged. "Most everyone knows you're like Chinatown. Your own people with your own ways."

"In many ways we are," the alpha said. "Xander, you should not have hurt her."

"She attacked me and I do have the right to protect myself. That sets a very bad precedent. Including going against traditional laws and things like what happened to Rosie." The males all shuddered at that. "I still respect and protect the community but I'm not going to let any alpha dominance or bitch dominance bitching go on. If I hadn't beaten her here I would've done it the next time I saw her. And she probably would've died when someone stepped in to help me."

"Point," he agreed. "Still."

"She attacked me. You saw it too."

"I did," he admitted, staring at her. She was whimpering, giving him pitiful looks. "By the traditional laws, he's in his rights to kill you, Patrice." She burst out crying again.

"I'd never do that. It'd make it harder on the community," Xander said. "Otherwise I would've started by taking out the ones that got scent addled."

"Are you sure that's what it is?" Faith asked.

"It has to be. Oz didn't have it. It's got to be something about my scent that draws unmated ones, vampires, and some higher demons. I can't figure out anything else unless it's the hellmouth taint and I've gotten rid of a bunch of that recently thanks to that traveling holiday I got thanks to Rosenburg."

"Did you really come home with dragons?" the future husband demanded.

Xander smiled. "No, I opened up a portal to there with their permission and they cleansed her magic with their fire. I reappeared in DC. TJ said I was really hot in the leather with a sword." The alpha female stomped in with a sword. He looked at her. "I set the bone I broke when she attacked me." The alpha female attacked him with a scream so he sighed and looked at the alpha as he dodged her. "Well?"

"Leave him be," he ordered. His wife attacked anyway. "Please don't kill her, Hunter."

"I'd never do that. I'm sure you still love your wife." He stared at her and captured the sword the next pass. It cut him but oh well. Then he hit her, knocking her down. Xander looked at his hand and the bloody cut. "Cute poison, sweetie, but I'm immune." He stared down at her. "Have been for years." He handed the sword to Faith. "Be careful of the blade. You're not immune or wearing a protection for it."

She nodded. "I can do that." She sniffed it, grimacing. "What is that?"

"Bug killing stuff that you buy from the furry guys at the farmer's market."

"Oh, that stuff. Gunn said it worked great."

"Now you'll die, uppity human," she sneered.

Xander leaned down. "I'm. Immune. To. That," he said slowly and clearly. "Have been since my mother used to encourage me to lick the ant traps she put down." The woman shrieked and lunged up at him. He backhanded her into a wall, which knocked her out. He looked at the alpha. "I have no idea why she has this idea I was born to money."

"The house," he said dryly. "The ones you've flipped."

"I made my money weeding out the lazy and stupid sort by selling kits on how to summon genies." He smirked. "My parents, a lot like that one pup Darrien that you guys took in last year. I'm the same Harris I was in Sunnydale, guys." One of them gasped, backing up shaking his head. He looked at him. "Yeah, I'm that guy. I don't know why you guys didn't hear that. Everyone else knew. Buffy's lucky I talk to her at all these days."

Faith coughed. "Angel was a bitch anyway."

"Yeah but I don't speak ill of the dead, they might come haunt me and then I'd never get sex because King Angst was staring at TJ in pitiful mooning."

Faith nodded. "Could be." She frowned, looking at him. "I heard something about Queen C?"

"She died from the visions and now she's the messenger for the Powers That Be. Like that Whistler guy that visited you guys I heard."

"That sucks. Do your visions do that?"

"No." The others gasped, staring at him. He shrugged. "I do have visions, yes. They suck ass." He looked at her. "I've only had a few that gave me migraines. Much less the brain changes she had."

"Are you sure? You can ignore a lot of pain, X." She stared at him. "Don't think I won't tell TJ you broke your ankle earlier that day you were shopping."

"He found that out later and nagged as he wrapped it for me." He grinned. "He can fuss, I let him."

She rolled her eyes. "So as bad as hers were?"

"No. Not even half the strength. I doubt it's the Powers That Be that send them to me, Faith. After all, I'm the guy that did CPR to call you."

"She said Fang did that."

"I pulled Angel from his hideyhole to go save her at crosspoint," he said dryly. "Then he said he doesn't breathe so he can't do that." Faith snorted, shaking her head. "I let her believe it. I may've been grossed out by them being together, because eww, but she wasn't listening to anyone's council back then anyway. Including Giles."

"Slayers are not meant to date vampires," Faith said firmly, shaking her head. "Others, yeah. Vampires? No. It'd be like you guys dating rabbits," she said at one odd look she was getting. "We're meant to fight the menace among them not screw them into being better bad boys."

"Just think, the prophecy about the slayer that will end the line requires her to have broken all natural laws," Xander said dryly. "Including not being a virgin slayer."

She stared at him. "Where did you see this?"

"Book I bought off the Council a few years back. Yeah, Buffy changed it for good."

"Great! Tweedy seen it?"

"Nope."

"Can I?"

"It's at home."

"I'll get it tomorrow." She rolled her eyes. "Do I have one?"

"A codex? Yes. Is it horrifically wrong? You sure bet it is. They had you being a virgin slayer that was scared off men by your watcher and the reason you die is because evil ones use that against you by bedding you." She burst out laughing, shaking her head. "Yeah. It's *so* wrong. Whoever that seer was had a really low percentage of being right. The one who did Buffy's was earlier." He shrugged. "The next one called, Kennedy, is a huge cunt by the way. Rich girl, raised by her daddy in isolation at the insistence of the Council, he's had her eggs frozen so he can have a proper kid when she dies." Faith stared at him. "Snobby, shallow New York princess from a financing house." She rolled her eyes. He held up a hand with a grin. "She believes in shopping for apocalypse battles too. She went on a training hunt and brought her purse dog, which died." She shook with laughs, walking off. "Yeah."

"I know of her," the second-in-command said. "Her father's people give loans to the community out there."

Xander nodded. "Yeah, that family." He grinned. "She's the next slayer called if Faith falls."

"We like Faith," the alpha said, clapping his hands. "Xander, we would rather not have you need to worry about your scent, or whatever, most of the time."

"I only show up when I'm wanted or needed," he said dryly. "Though I do go to safe clubs. It's safer." He looked at the second-in-command. "TJ's mom is mildly worried so I'm putting out a few new kits with the new genie summoning set. The old ones got changed when they got mad about how many got summoned. TJ insisted that I not send out the kits to the other sort of djinn that would take you as a sex toy for payment. He said I'd be too evil then." He grinned. "Though, next year's apocalypse? I'm putting out a kit."

"Can we know sooner?" he asked.

"Yeah. Stop your brother from summoning whatever it is."

"My...Philip?" Xander nodded with a grin. "Fuck. I'm going to have something bite that brat so he can't change but has to stop it."

"I wasn't sure if he was looking up to Ethan Rayne," Xander said dryly. "He seems to like chaos magic and they tend to do some things by accident. That's why he had to move back home again. The spell to summon a spirit teacher blew up when he put too much power behind it."

"Thank you for that warning, Xander. How is the new closet?"

"It's not white!" he said happily. He pulled out pictures. "That's the old closet." The guy shuddered. "It was so kitcheny and cabinety. We took out the center portion last night and she's coming tomorrow to put in stuff we'd like better." He showed him the suggestion she had done.

"That's pretty."

Xander grinned. "Very and useful. The last owner had a thing about white everything. Walls, floors, everything." He showed him the before picture of the kitchen. "That was the before I fixed it." The guy winced. Xander found the other one. "That's the after."

"Much prettier and nice, subtle colors."

"TJ picked out the couches."

"That's nice, he has good taste."

"Of course he does, he picked me," Xander quipped. "Let me go be giddy at home with him. His mom wants him back in DC tomorrow." They waved and he left.

"Get that cut looked at," someone yelled after him.

"I'm immune to bug killers," he yelled back.

"I'm going to tell your mate, Xander."

"Fine, Miss Nag."

"Thank you. We'd hate to miss you, dear." She came down the stairs, looking at the alphas. "Leave the poor boy alone," she ordered. "He has it hard enough without all that bullshit you gave him. Patrick would've been ashamed." Since she had been Patrick's wife, she'd know. She pulled up that video on TMZ, letting the alpha wince through it. "I heard he wished her a death by her skin cancer." She walked off.

"I would've done that same thing, or put her out of her hair dresser's misery," the second-in-command said. The future husband nodded. "Xander's very strong. He's also very mean when he has to be. Xander also usually carries something with silver since it's a common demon fighting need." He gave his alpha a pointed look. "Xander has protected this whole community more than once. It was him that stepped in front of that nursery we used to use to protect the pups inside from those bigots." He walked off.

"I had not heard anything about that." He called his new contacts to see about that. They all told him many stories that no one else heard about Xander. No, he was safe from him.

***

TJ looked up as Xander walked in from the garage, seeing the bandage on his hand. "Did the car bite you?" he asked.

"No, the sword the demented pup bitch used did. Thankfully I'm immune to the bug killer she put on it first." He took a kiss. "It's just three stitches. Let me go change?"

"Sure, go change. Are we staying in tonight?"

"I can make sandwiches then we can go somewhere." Xander smiled. "I'm down for that."

"Good. Go change, get naughty." Xander smirked, strolling off to do that. TJ watched his ass and wondered what sort of pup bitch it had been. Sometimes it seemed like Xander lived by a lot of different rules than the rest of humanity lived by. "What pup bitch was it?"

"The one getting married soon that we don't have to worry about attending," Xander said, coming back checking his wallet and putting it back into his pocket. TJ was staring at the leather pants. "Not good? Faith got me to buy them."

"Not bad. Not tight." He shrugged. "It'll work to tease people with. Have you called some guy named Jim? I found a message on the machine."

"I did. He's disputing that I have a trust account when I know I do. I talked to Jim's boss and Jim's boss found it very easily and fired Jim for being a dick because he hates the demon community and us hunters."

"Are you okay with that?"

"It's still there. I'm going to visit them tomorrow after I drop you at the airport."

"I can take a cab."

"Dear, that'll be during morning rush hour. You won't get a cab unless you leave about six in the morning. Plus it's really expensive to get to the airport from here since it's nearly on the other side of the city."

"I didn't think about that. Sure, I'd love a ride." He took a kiss, letting Xander make them sandwiches. Then they went out to club, get loose, have fun teasing, and Xander made a few girls pant badly enough to try to take them. It was fun. It was necessary to blow off stress too. The kidnapings Xander got fixed before TJ got pissed off or endangered so it was okay until he could talk to his boyfriend about doing things like that.

***

TJ walked into his mother's office late the day he left LA, it took nearly forever to fly across the country, taking off his sunglasses with a smile. She stared at him. "I'm back, as asked for."

"Your grandmother wanted to find you. She thinks you're looking bad on us again."

"Was she drinking draino instead of wine?" he asked dryly.

"Not yet. She might if you keep seeing Xander." She got up to hug him and kiss him on the cheek. "If you're settling in, then I'm all for that." She stared into his eyes. "You could use the happiness he gives you, son. I'm proud you found someone who's mostly sane. Plus he doesn't want to hide it."

He grinned. "He drives me nuts. He came home last night with a bandage on his hand saying it was some pup bitch who had a sword she had laced with bug killers but he was immune." His mother moaned, shaking her head. "I like the guy. I really like Xander. I'm not going to lie and he said if you got down on him because of the politics he'd understand but pout a lot until I snuck out to have fun with him."

"Is your name on the new house?"

"No. I made sure. I'm not ready to buy a house yet, Mom. He's not ready for a pet either. Though he did make me a *grand* music room to play in. The acoustics are so great."

She smiled. "That's good. Anything I should hear about? Your grandmother got onto this when you two were spotted going to a hospital together. She thought you were doing bloodwork for serious reasons."

"He'd had a shitty day and talked me into going to volunteer at a NICU unit to get pity cuddles as he put it. It was...I felt really weird and warm and loving and I hate kids."

She smiled. "I've felt that before too, and I still hate kids." She sat back down. "We're having dinner at home tonight." He nodded. "No bags?"

"I didn't bring any out. I showed up because he looked miserable and I didn't want to visit him in the hospital." She stared at him. "In three weeks, he lost a former girlfriend, a few community members he was friends with, and then the huge battle."

"No wonder he made a wish so everyone would leave him alone," she said dryly.

"I thought it was brilliant." He grinned. "Let me go home and I'll show up at seven?"

"Seven's good." He nodded and left, putting back on his sunglasses as he walked. She smiled at his back. It was good he was happy, even if his boyfriend did drive him insane. That was almost a mark of love in their family.

***

TJ had been forced to a speech in a park, mostly to look like he supported his family, but he was bored senseless. He was about to sneak off when he spotted a flash of light blinking. He tipped his head to make it look like he was stretching his neck. Then the flashing got brighter. "Mom, move," he shouted, getting her out of the way. He pointed for the Secret Service guards. They stared and one went to investigate while they hustled his mother off. One of the guards actually stopped him from moving. "I'm dating a hunter, I don't know how to do anything," he complained.

"Still, sir, you know who to call. Please?"

"Yeah, that I'm about to do." He called Xander's phone, getting Buffy of all people. "Crap, I need Xander, Buffy. It is TJ and something that looks a lot like a portal forming in DC by a park my mother was speaking at." He looked around. "CNN's here. Guys, the hunter I'm calling needs decent pictures of the portal," he yelled, pointing at a reporter. "They're in LA." They rushed the camera crew over since the guards couldn't stop them for that reason.

"There's a battle there," someone shouted back. "I can see it. Looks human-on-human."

TJ repeated that. "Yeah, clearly magical if that's another realm, Buffy. Thanks." He hung up. "Xander's coming. Give him a minute to put on a t-shirt. He was in the gym sparring with Gunn."

"Thank you, Mr. Hammond. Please get to safety?"

"I'm safe enough here. It's not... it doesn't feel like when Xander reappeared in the leather."

"That's good." He was getting an odd look.

Xander appeared with a few witches, Buffy, and Connor. He studied the portal, shaking his head. "This isn't our form of magic and it's open," he announced. "Get out of the way. Move the cameras. Those aren't our sort of demons." The camera crew got moved by the guards. He looked at Buffy and Connor, who nodded back they could handle it. "All right. Buffy, those ones are higher and lower demons. The humans don't have black eyes. The bad guys do. Because I've seen this on a tv show." He looked at Connor, who had introduced it to him.

He looked. "That is that show with the hunters. I'll be damned. That's an angel-on-demon war with humans trapped."

Buffy nodded. "Can we stop the demons?"

"We need to stop both sides," Connor said. "And save the humans."

She nodded. "Will the scythe work?" She held it up. She had been sharpening it while watching the guys sparring.

"Yup, it sure will," Xander said. He pulled out his sword, letting Connor get his from the bag. "Guys, we need heavier weapons. That realm's in full on demon war decay," he noted. "It's off that show with the hunters if anyone watches it." A few of the people there nodded. "Good, let's see if we can keep them from giving ours an idea." He looked at his people and they nodded, stepping through.

"LA Protection Team and Slayers on site, people. Back the fuck down!" Connor bellowed.

One of the hunters stared. "You're a tv show!"

"You are to us too," Xander quipped. "But your portal just opened into our DC. Want some help?" They nodded. "Buffy, see the blondish guy?" he said with a point. "Bad guy on the Light. Bad guy on the Dark," he said with another point. "They're possessed." She nodded, diving in to help the hunters. Connor followed. Xander stepped back through. "Artillery, now please." They got some from a military unit showing up to help. "Great. Come help, guys. Because if we don't solve what started the portal soon, it's merging us. Then we'll all be stuck in the middle of an end times battle." They rushed over to help. Xander grunted as he picked up an artillery case and came over to blow up the altar stones.

"Dude, if you do that, my brother's trapped," one shouted.

Xander looked at him. "I'm a protection rune user, Dean. I'm also owed enough favors to end this shit here and now." Dean blinked at him. "Blow the section behind the altar," he called. "Not the altar itself. We need it to summon." The military guys nodded. "Get anyone with black eyes, anyone who's sneering about God's laws too. Theirs decided to take out humanity because their God's taking a long vacation." They nodded and a few said prayers but dove in harder. Xander killed a few on his way up to the altar with Dean. He drew on it with their combined blood.

"Buffy, need some blood," he yelled. She huffed but wiped her outer t-shirt on her cuts then tossed it at him. "That'll do." He squeezed a few drops out. "Or not." She ran up to drip more on it then back into the battle. The altar smoked up and when it cleared a body was laying on it naked. Xander tested him then started CPR. He used the blood to draw on him, protecting him while Dean was doing chest compressions. Sam gasped and sat up. Xander finished the last two marks and the angels all screamed in pain as they held their heads. The demons stared at them. Xander smirked and waved. "Hi, guys. Now, Buffy." She hit the spell to summon the other slayers to her.

"Wow," Dean said, staring at the girls. "Why..."

"Slayers," Xander said with a grin. "Lots of help sometimes." He handed Sam his t-shirt. "Here. Not quite long enough but it'll help. Let me go help the ladies." Xander got back into the fray, killing a few more demons. One tried to stab him and barely cut his side but his blood made the demons around him stop and sniff. "What?" he demanded. "I know I smell tasty." They lunged at him for whole other reasons. "It's going on again," he complained, beating them off him. Buffy and Faith put him behind them. "Sorry, let's see what we can do to split the realms again."

"We can't fully," one of the witches called.

"Leaving Xander here isn't an option," Faith yelled. She stabbed another demon.

"Not a good idea anyway," another witch called. "No, we can do it. Xander, it has a keystone!"

He jogged back to look and used his sword to chip at one mark until it broke off. The portal started to suck and whistle. "Ladies, fall back!" he shouted. "Let's go!"

The slayers fell back to the portal. The hunters came with them because they were working together. Sam and Dean joined back into the fight, even though Sam still looked a bit loopy. Then the portal sucked all the ones from their realm through, plus Sam and Dean. And one higher level demon. Buffy pushed her sweaty hair back, staring at him. "You cause the slayers one bit of problem and I'll kill your butt so hard you're gonna wish to be angelic again," she warned.

He held up a hand. "I have no intention of that."

Xander smirked. "Try it, Demon." The demon stared at him then took a sniff and moaned. Xander took a dagger from one of the girl's hair bun and a sharpie from TJ, drawing on the blade. He did his sword too. He tossed the sharpie to Faith and moved forward. "C'mon. You want me, prove yourself better." The demon lunged at him and Xander fought him off with both weapons. He finally killed the demon, making him shriek as he blew up in flames. "No, you lost. All of you." He blew on the ashes. The portal snapped but Xander held up a hand. "The portal will be a proto-portal for a few weeks. We can get the hunters home in a few days hopefully. If not, in a year's time we can open another portal on the Cleveland hellmouth. There's a way. Trevor DeLarant produced a paper last month."

One of the witches bit her lip but nodded. "We saw that but is that possible? It takes a mage," she said.

"Which we know a few of," Xander said dryly. "I'm not sure if they'd do it without cost but I can ask. So can others like Rupert." The witches lit up and nodded. "Okay. Let's get cleaned up. Thank you, ladies." They all nodded and came over to talk to the witches about getting home. Xander popped his neck, smiling at TJ. "I'm okay."

"You're bleeding. That's not okay."

"It's a small one, TJ. Nothing like a chest wound. I just need some bandages." He leaned over to take a kiss with a smile. "That way I don't drip sweat on you. It'd stain that shirt." TJ smirked at him but walked him off to the paramedics. "Guys, I'm fine. Just need a bandage. Buffy has a few more than I do."

"It's mean to nark on me," Buffy yelled after him. "C'mon, guys. Let's get you guys treated and maybe Sam some pants." She tipped her head to look. Sam hid behind Dean blushing hard. She smiled. "It's all right. You're cute. We appreciate cute guys." She walked them over to the ambulance with her girls. A few more witches appeared. "We need to send these two home."

"I don't think that's possible," one sneered at her. "You know nothing of magic, Buffy."

"Trevor DeLarant said it was," Xander called. "And I do know magic, thanks." He stared at her.

"That would take a lot of magic and unfortunately we don't have the heft of Rosenburg."

"No, but we have a cleaner hellmouth we can use," Xander said dryly. "That's if we can't reopen this one before it fully snaps shut." The witches huffed off.

Dean looked at Xander. "It'll be okay. We're used to weird things." Sam took the scrub pants one of the paramedics handed him with a tired smile.

Xander grinned. "Me too." The portal fluxed and nearly made it open. Dean and Sam ran back over there when they saw someone trying to come through. The angels trying to force Castiel quit trying and they had left some of the military weapons so the hunters had taken a bunch of the idiots with plans out. The boys dived back into the battle to finish it off.

Buffy sighed. "I need a boyfriend like them. Even if they weren't as cute but that tough is nice." The other slayers nodded.

"I met a few warriors but they're in that realm Rosenburg sent me to," Xander said dryly. "If we can find that stupid bridge again by accident you can go to Asgard to find one."

"The guard guy was scowly but built," she said. She smiled at the slayers. "Dawn accidentally found a piece of the Bifrost Bridge to Asgard when she was being chased by something before we had to leave Sunnydale." A few of the girls groaned and shook their heads. "Way hottie warriors are a way of life there so they might understand us pretty well. We need to find it again and set up relations."

Xander shrugged. "Don't ask me to be a spokesbeing. They might flirt."

"Then we'd wonder why they were kinda evil, Xander," Buffy chirped. He pointed at TJ with a smug look. "Yeah, we're still trying to figure out if he'll go evil some day." TJ glared at her. She grinned. "Most of his ex's have been kinda mean and evil. You met Cordy I'm sure."

"A few times," he said dryly. "I'm that sort of mean but not evil this week. You?" She huffed but smirked back. He looked Xander's chest over then into his eyes. "If you bring more hunters here, can they take your place in battles?"

"Maybe. Probably not totally though."

"That's what I thought you'd say." He stared at him. "You're hot with a sword, but I cringe each time I see you using it, Xander."

"I know. I've slowed down some in the last few years. I'm not the young thing I was. Age is really starting to catch up to me."

"That's fine, but if you get really disfigured I'm finding you a really good plastic surgeon to fix it."

"I could like that. I've learned vanity somewhere." He took another kiss. "I'm okay. Calm down. Go diva later when I have to find a way home."

TJ looked. The witches were gone and so were all the slayers. Only Xander and Connor were there. He sighed. "You can bum my couch, Connor. You can both use a shower too. Are they good to go?" he asked the paramedics.

"Certainly, sir. No direct washing of the stitches."

"We know," Connor said with a nod. "We've had plenty. Demon hunting is like that." Xander nodded he agreed. "C'mon. Let's get pretty so TJ doesn't take your princess spot, Xander."

"Hey," he complained but he was grinning. "I didn't inherit Cordy's tiara."

"Don't remind me. I look funny in it." They walked off with TJ guiding them to his car. "Will we get in trouble?" he asked quietly.

"No," Xander said. "Sorry, guys. Just another wacky magical thing that led to another wacky day in hunting. It happens. Especially around the LA team. It's being in LA," he told one of the reporters staring at him. "Apparently shallow is contagious." He climbed into the back of TJ's sportscar in the small bag space. Connor wouldn't be able to fit back there.

"Only a few blocks," he promised, driving off. He waved at his mother as they drove past her. "She said you looked hot the last time you showed up in the leather, Xander."

"Thanks. I try sometimes."

Connor shook his head. "I don't but I still look cute at least."

"You look really hot," TJ promised with a grin. "But we know you're straight, Connor."

"Thanks. Though I'm more confused about girls than anything. It was easier on the demon realm I got raised on."

Xander patted him. "Women are naturally confusing. It's their diversion and camouflage."

"That makes more sense. I thought the makeup and stuff was camo but the confusion does work better." TJ was trying not to smile. "Don't they?"

"Depends on the girl," he admitted. "Some are worse than others." Connor nodded he understood that. TJ parked in his spot and got them up to his loft apartment, letting them work out who got first shower and all that. He had workout stuff that would fit Connor and Xander so it was easier. They'd figure out to get them home sometime later, after they had rested from the battle.

***
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