"Nineteen hours," Eggsy moaned, flopping down when the demon finally died. "Who has the kids?"
"I called a witch to come out to help," Willow moaned from her spot. The demon had batted her on the head.
Clint was gulping air, holding his right arm. It had a not-deep but pretty long cut. He had bruises in other areas. So did Eggsy.
The twins hadn't quite flopped down but they weren't all that happy either.
"We have to burn it," Xander said. "Don't you dare, Willow. The concussion will throw off your aim and I'll kill you if you get the campers or the kids."
"I can't magic enough for that anyway," she moaned. "I don't get migraines."
"Sweetheart, that's a concussion," Clint quipped. "I've had a few myself."
The elder witch of the coven stepped over the parts to look at them. "We can burn it for you."
"Please," the twins begged.
"Of course, boys. Willow, let's get you and the older pretty boy to the ER."
"I'm good," Clint said. "I can stitch it myself."
"We do the same thing," the twins said in unison.
Eggsy looked at them. "I'm not that bad yet but I'm only sore and bruised, ma'am."
"Good boy." She smiled. "First battle?"
"With a sword," he said.
"You'll learn, dear." She helped Willow up, holding her while she puked. "That's expected." The younger girl was starting to cry. Thankfully an ambulance was showing up. "She's got a concussion."
"Probably some magic exhaustion too," Gray said with a wave. "We have to burn the demon."
The paramedics looked at the mess then at the witch. "How many demons was that?"
"One really large one and two minions that tried to interfere to help us from another one that the really big one ripped up," Xander said, flopping backwards with a sigh. "Are the kids okay?"
"They're back at the hotel with the rest of the girls," the elder witch said. "Most of us have had kids, and the few that haven't are doing their yearly torture. They are darling children, boys." The twins grinned at her. "They also certainly love jelly worms." She smirked as she walked over to the other two. "This one's got a large cut on his arm."
"I've done my own stitches before," Clint said. "I'm a good agent that way."
"Boyo, don't make our A&E staff pout. They're meaner when they pout," the paramedic said, helping him up. "We can give you fluids too. That way you recover sooner." He looked at Eggsy, who was barely awake. "You need fluids too probably."
He shook his head. "I know how to use gatorade." He looked at him. "I'm not posh that way. A&E is for somefing contagious."
"Not in this town now that the old Council's down."
"We rebuilt it a lot better," Xander quipped. "Also fair to the girls."
"Good," the paramedics said. "You two need fluids?"
"We have seven kids we have to get back to before the witches spoil them," Gray said. "Nope. We've had worse." He sat up, hauling Xander up. Xander blinked a few times, then removed the fake eye to wipe on his shirt.
"Eww," Clint said.
Xander shrugged. "It has goo on it." He popped it back in.
"Backwards," Eggsy said.
He took it out and turned it around then put it back in. "Better?" They all nodded. "Then we're good. Let's burn this sucker then we'll go rescue our kids." He stood up with a moan. Gray got helped up by the elder witch then they moved to gather parts so they could burn it.
"What about our fire people doin' it?" one of the paramedics said. "They can do that and probably could use the controlled burn practice."
"Then someone's house'll burn down and they'll be here," Gray said. "Besides, we're used to this part." They piled everything together and the witch set the fire for them. "There, better. Let's go save the kids from the sugar high." The witch laughed but led them off.
"I'll pick up some gatorade, yeah?" Eggsy called after them.
"Rest, we'll pick some up since we'll be in town," Xander said, smiling at him. "Not bad for your third battle. Use the system in my camper to call in and complain." He got into the witch's rental, heading into town with her. They could figure out how to get all the kids back in a few minutes. They did stop to get some refreshing things while the witches gathered the kids to each bring back a few of them. They ran in to hug Eggsy and then went to bed because big brothers were tired.
Eggsy managed to save his hat once they were down, putting it back on. Merlin smirked at him from the screen. "Nineteen hours," he said. "I need more stamina work and stuff for the newly broken blisters on my hands."
"I'll send you some. Clint? Phil will want to know."
"Got dragged to A&E for a large claw cut."
"Good. You better?"
"Not yet." He took the bottle of gatorade. "Thanks, brov." He gulped it and accepted the second. "How many are that long?"
"About every third one," Xander admitted with a grimace. "Unless we have artillery." He went to tuck everyone in. Gray flopped down, nibbling on a microwave burrito. Eggsy hung up and got his own burrito to nuke then sat down to talk to them about training for those things. Stamina and adrenaline only carried you so far.
***
Clint called Phil once he was back in his jeep and on the way back to the camp. He stared at the tiny picture. "Your brothers are insane. They need more artillery too."
"What happened?" he asked, smirking slightly.
"A huge demon appeared to try to claim them. After nineteen hours of using a sword..."
"Excuse me?"
"We used one for about fifteen of those hours. Napalm a few other times. Once we even got to use guns."
"Uh-huh. I see. Are you all right?" Clint shifted the phone so he could see the bandage. "That's it?"
"On me. Galahad's seriously exhausted but managed to parkour out of the way of the claws until he exhausted himself." He stared at him. "I need more stamina work or I need to date a girl like Anya had been to gain it that way."
Phil nodded once. "Tell my little brothers to call me to see what they need?"
"I can do that. I want to start carrying around artillery too."
"I'll see what I can do to allow that," Phil said dryly. "Are you all right otherwise?"
"I desperately need to curl up and sleep then eat a ton of food. I'm about to hit the store to pick that up for the morning. The twins are letting me have a couch in a camper."
"That's fine. Have them call me." Clint nodded, hanging up. Phil groaned, shaking his head, nearly hitting it on a wall. His brothers needed to slow down before they got killed.
Clint stopped at the store then drove back to the camp, getting out with the three bags of food. "So I can cook breakfast," he said in greeting.
Gray smiled. "Use the couch in mine, Clint. He's out on that one." Clint nodded, going over there. Of course, the kids were over there so they snuck out later on to cuddle around him. It was great. Even though Natasha took a photo of it as he found out when he woke up.
***
Natasha looked up as Clint came out with a pot full of eggs, sausage, and cheese, smiling at the younger spy's sudden alertness for food. "Eat, boys. You all need to eat." The kids came over to eat too. They all got some, settling down to eat on the blankets the witches had spread out.
"This is good. I need ta remember this," Eggsy said, inhaling more.
The twins nodded. "It's hungry guy who can kinda cook food," Xander agreed.
"You two can cook?" Natasha asked.
Gray smiled. "We had some fast food and other jobs where cooking was necessary. Including at a strip club." Eggsy looked at them oddly. "We were doing the kitchen job until someone needed us to fill in one night. That's how we met Frank and Martin, after our date of the night took us out for a real dinner."
"Our car had exploded just after we started our great post-grad roadtrip," Xander told him. "It was that or fast food. The club's kitchen job paid better and no one ever suggested I try blowing anyone. I just drew all the psychos, who nicely tipped us." He and his twin grinned. "We actually sucked highly at the stripping."
"That's so weird," Natasha sighed, shaking her head. "Does your brother know?"
"Yup. He found footage of it on someone's computer," Gray said with a shrug. "We know we only date the semi-bad boys and girls of the universe. That's why he investigated that agent and found out he was dirty."
"And the occasional serial killer," Xander added, frowning a tiny bit before eating another bite.
Clint looked at them. "Phil hates that, right?" They nodded. "Good to know."
"S'why I ended up helping the kids that one night. I was followin' one of 'em for Merlin," Eggsy said. Then he ate another bite.
Natasha smiled. "We did appreciate the way he did things. Very nice compared to our own training."
Clint nodded. "Much nicer than some of ours." Eggsy stared at them, looking confused. "Natasha's was a 'you survive, you graduate' group."
"Oh, shite," he said, staring at her. "Wow."
She shrugged. "They were a bad idea after the first world war."
"That sucks," Eggsy said. "Merlin just taunted us and made us think we were gonna die. Do others know about them?"
"They were stopped," she assured him.
He nodded. "Good! Otherwise I'd volunteer ta help you stop 'em."
She smiled. "You're sweet."
"Not really, but that's just wrong."
"In many ways," she promised. Xander leaned over to hug her. "I do not hug," she warned.
"Of course you do. You're female and it helps." He smiled at her. "Also, I'm getting the snake." He held it up before sitting up. "It's a messenger snake."
Gray took it to shake until it turned back into a roll of paper. "The witches are off today. That one's got an infection from the bite, they're all exhausted, and it's our day off as well according to them and Giles. So we can teach them the laundry stuff that works on goo." The twins shrugged at each other, then dug back into brunch. The kids wandered off. "Stay with us. We don't want something to eat you or adopt you."
Eggsy looked. "One of the babes is missing." The twins hopped up to find them. They were cooing at a small vase.
Xander took the vase to look at then sighed. "Someone grab the holy water out of my gear." Clint got it and they got to depossess the baby. It made her pout but sorry. The demon left in the vase howled in frustration when Gray took it to break it so the demon was killed. They corralled the kids better and settled in again.
Natasha was filming all that. Phil would be amused.
***
Victoria got the film from her older son, staring at the baby being exorcized. "The twins need to find a different field," she decided. The report on the battle was attached for her to swear at. "Ivan, we need to make the twins find a more sane field."
He came out of the study to stare over her shoulder. "The baby was possessed?"
"Apparently. This was the day after a battle." She let him see that report.
"That is not something I want to ever experience." He kissed her. "We will talk to them about doing less insane things but I'm sure that wasn't their first battle." He went to complain to the walls in his study. "It had to be where those drunks raised them," he called finally.
"It certainly wasn't our DNA," she agreed. "Pity they're dead."
He came to the doorway of the study. "Yes, it is." He smiled. "The others who knew are mostly gone as well but there are two researchers. They were involved in that group the boys ran into and helped stop with their team."
She smiled. "That's very nice to know, dear. Are they available?"
"Not yet. They can be though."
"Let me get changed." He smiled and went to do the same thing. It was good to have a road trip. They might even tell Frank and Sarah to get some help. They did so love road trips as well. Frank had been saying he was bored.
***
The twins looked at their students/helpers, grinning at them.
Clint stared back. "If you say we have to blow the old building we'd be pleased."
"So would we," Gray agreed. "But there's antiques. We need to go back to gathering through the mess. The insurance people demanded."
Xander handed over snap lights. "There's huge cavities of the library to go too. We'll do that in case any of the books are possessed. Wear gloves, guys." They sighed but nodded, getting in there. He and Gray went to do the library that was remaining. The witches were packing things for them. Nice, easy, safe work.
It only took ten minutes for Clint to run into a demon. Then he had to run from the building, letting the witches handle it. They banished it for him. Clint pouted, going back in there.
Then the twins ran into the huge problem. "Fuck!" Xander shouted. "Evacuate! Move the campers too!" They all ran out and moved the campers with the witches' help. The twins looked at the witches. "You never told us the vault had a secondary backup?" he asked dryly.
"There is?" one asked, looking at the elder witch.
"There's the research area. That was in the basement." In the rubble, an extra large demon was disturbing the debris as it climbed out.
"That wasn't the basement. It was in the library," Xander said. He called. "It's us. What huge demon was stored in the library?" He listened. "They stored what?" he demanded. "Excuse me? Who was that damn fucking stupid, Rupert?" He listened to him complain. "Yeah, and it broke," he said dryly. "We were just gathering the stuff the insurance people demanded we try to save in the library area." He stared at the demon. "Rupert said you got stored by someone stupid."
"Well, yes," the demon agreed in Latin. "It was rather stupid of them to capture me and put me in glass."
Gray shook his head with a sigh, looking at the witches. They were talking about the demon. "Can we banish it?" he asked.
"No," they said together. "It has to be killed to be sent off."
Xander looked at the demon. "Can you send yourself off? I don't want to have to spend the day in the ER away from the kids."
"Not hardly. I don't use magic, lad."
The twins shared a look then sighed. "Do you have a proper name so we can look you up really fast? Giles isn't sure which one you are."
"My sister got destroyed, lad."
"It's the male of the two. Still confusing him, dude. Name?"
"They called me Bueareguard. They didn't know how to spell it since it's an American name."
"They called him Bueareguard. With misspelled name due to us being Americans." He listened to him splutter. "Banishing, Giles?" He groaned, looking up. He smiled and waved at the flying thing. "Fairy guard, do you guys know how to banish him?" he asked politely. "We'd really like not to abandon our adopted children to killing him."
The fairy guard shrugged. "I'll ask, boys." He flew off then came back. "A portal can be opened if you have the right form of magical opening device. The King believes you know who we speak of."
"I can get Dawn here but she's not the Key any longer," a witch said quietly. They summoned Dawn, who was in jammies and had her toothbrush in her mouth. "We need to open a portal, Dawn."
Dawn looked at the demon then spit out her toothpaste. "You had to do this while I'm on my period?" she asked dryly. "That'll make my magic go funny. You'll end up somewhere strange."
"I can wait," he offered with a smile. "Though I would need sustenance."
"Fat. Fucking. Chance," Dawn said dryly. "Okay, knife." The witches cast the portal spell while Dawn cut her hand and opened it with them. Willow showed up being huffy but had to help when she saw the demon. It huffed but stomped through the portal. Dawn cleaned off the blood with her t-shirt then shook her head at the witches. "Next time, have better timing?" she demanded. "You know magic and periods don't mix. Plus I have an algebra test tomorrow." They sighed, getting her calmed down. Xander lent a kid to cuddle her. "Are there others? I can feel huge sucking magic down there and a few higher beings. Did they contain a god level demon?"
"Yup. Seven in the library plus the vault," Gray complained.
"All broken now thanks to the explosion," Xander finished with a smile. "Oh, this is Eggsy and this Clint. Clint worked with our big brother. Eggsy works with Merlin."
"Oh, that's sweet," she said with a smile for him. "I've talked to Merlin a few times when he was looking for the twins. He seemed more sane than most of the slayers." She pointed and took the kids back to the camper so she could clean up then came back out to help. "Oh, fuck you," she told the complaining goddess. "Really, right up the asshole, princess of stupid." The demon glared at her. She stared back. "C'mon then." She waved her on. "I'm in a bad mood. I need chocolate and killing you will impress boys if I ever find one I can sneak past my stupid ass sister."
The goddess snorted. "You're just a human," she sneered.
"No, sweetheart, I'm not a human." She pulled out the weapon she had grabbed and blew the goddess's head off. "Not likely anyway." She looked at the twins, who grinned at her. "If I'm staying here, you're buying me chocolate. Tonight."
"We made cookie bars," one of the witches said, smiling at her. "We need to refine your magic anyway, Dawn."
"Buffy said no," she said dryly, looking at them. "You know how she is."
"I still say we pick you up someone to pretend with and let her freak out," Gray quipped.
"I'm way too old for that," Clint said.
Dawn smiled. "You're sweet but a bad boy. I need to find someone who can make me ineligible for blood magic."
"Oh, we forgot," Xander said, looking at his twin. "And this spring will have one that needs it."
"That will warp her magic," the witch complained.
Dawn looked at her. "It's me losing my virginity or me losing my life and them using that magic to have London invaded. Which did you want to deal with? Especially since you'd have to deal with Buffy too."
"You'd make a wonderful bride," another witch said.
Dawn snorted. "Sex does not equal marriage for most everyone in the US, ma'am. We fuck for pretty well every happy occasion." She blushed. "Beyond that, I've never taken a vow of blood magic or purity. Frankly, the magic is annoying and keeps putting me in danger. Also, it won't end the baseline problem that gets me called for things like this." She shrugged. "Still gotta have it broken in by next week."
"Next week?" Gray demanded.
"That cult starts summoning next week if we can't stop 'em," Dawn sighed. "We've saved one sacrifice they had planned."
"Let me call my boss," Clint said. "SHIELD's remains can do that for the girls. We can even hurt humans a lot."
She smiled at him. "That's sweet. Thank you." She looked at the witches, who nodded that was a good idea. Good. Then tomorrow I'm going to London to party and find an easy club."
"I know a few," Eggsy said. "They're not worthy of you. Or really most girls."
"Doesn't have to be worthy," she said with a smile. "Just has to be easy and have a dick that works for ten minutes. I don't expect more than ten minutes from any guy, especially ones near my age."
"You're underage?" Clint asked.
"Sixteen is magically adult," she said dryly. "They won't wait until eighteen so I can't wait to find someone worthy of my magnificence."
Clint nodded. "That sucks," he said. "It should be more than that."
"Yeah but I'd hate being sacrificed more and you guys would hate the invasion in London."
"True." He went back to talking to Phil, who was throwing a fit. "She's right, it's a worse threat."
Eggsy called someone. "It's me," he said. "I got a young woman, a witchly sort, who has a blood magic problem and needs a bloke to cure it in under five days time. You free this week? You're not worthy of her but she said she only needs one that works." He nodded. "That'll be fine. I'll bring her back Tuesday. Thanks." He hung up. "One of my friends is easy and has noffin'."
Dawn squealed and hugged him. "Thank you! I didn't want another one to capture me to bleed me. It really sucks tits." She went to hang out with the kids so she was closer to the bathroom.
Eggsy frowned then looked at the twins. "Again?"
"Her sister stopped the last one by dying," Xander said with a grimace and a slight shrug. "But Willow brought her back."
Eggsy nodded. "Sure, gotta be a bad thing then."
Clint pulled the phone away from his ear with a wince. "Your brother wants to know more about this cult, guys."
"We'll email the files once we tell Willow to," Gray quipped. "Or he can go talk to his former beach time boyfriend for a day."
"We would've offered one of our ex's," Xander told Eggsy, "but she hated them a lot."
"I can't blame her for that," Clint complained. "He said going to see your boss will be awkward."
"Oh well," the twins said in unison. "It's that or he has to talk to Willow and Arneston."
"He said Rupert at least makes sense most of the time, as long as he's not drunk." He walked off talking to him. He paused. "Guys, do we have to guard Dawn harder?"
"No, we will," the twins assured him.
"Okay. Thanks." He went back to talking to him about the cult problem. It'd cause another problem they'd have to deal with.
Eggsy sat down to learn how to handle things from the three who were experts in it. Dawn was great at organization and shopping things so she had restocked them by that night so much more cheaply than the guys did. Plus gotten the kids bigger clothes so they fit again. She had gotten Clint and Eggsy some spare t-shirts to put on too.
***
Phil Coulson knocked on the main Council house's door, nodding politely at Willow before stepping inside. "I need to speak to Mr. Giles about the cult, Willow," he said quietly. "We were not aware of it and we can handle it for the Council since it's humans doing it."
"Who the frilly heck are you?" she asked dryly, looking confused.
He smirked. "I'm the twins' big brother."
"Oh."
"And SHIELD."
"Oh, okay." She nodded and led him back to the office, knocking. "Giles, an agent here to talk about that stupid sucking cult." She let him in. "He said he's the twins big brother," she said, ignoring his blush. He was probably reading about incubus again.
"He is," Giles said with a smile.
"I'll bring in what we have." She walked off shaking her head. It was too early for this.
"This was not what I expected," Giles said dryly.
"Me either then the boys told us about the cult that was going to sacrifice Dawn." He sat down. "So we at SHIELD have decided that's our job."
"Yes, well, I suppose it could be as they're humans doing it. Where is Dawn?"
"Clint said that the coven summoned her to help with a rather large problem over there."
"Oh, that one. I remember that." She came in with the stack of files and books. "Thank you, Willow. Do we know who most of them are?"
"Yeah. I've done checks on most of them." She looked at Phil. "You don't look like the twins."
"I look more like our mother. They look like taller versions of our father."
"That makes sense. What do their parents do?"
He smiled. "They're retired from government service."
"Oh, that stuff. I guess they're disappointed in what the twins do?"
"Only that they get into battles and had to depossess one of the kids thanks to something in that building. They'd like them to do safer yet still mean things. My mother's actually one of the best snipers in any government." She shuddered as she walked off, slamming the door behind her.
"Your mother and I had a bit of flirting going on. Which makes this even more weird," Giles said dryly.
"She said to tell you hi and she used that flirting to make my father jealous." He smiled. "Though she thought it was sweet we got drunk together that once. Oh, and Merlin's said hello as well. We've had a few talks recently."
"I've heard," he said, staring at him. Phil smiled. "The twins wanted me tortured for making them clean up the building?"
"No. I believe it's coincidence that Dawn suggested it."
"Possibly not. Dawn's been in a bad mood."
"She's being girlish from what I overheard while talking to Clint."
"Hmm." He went over the cult's methods and reasons.
Phil went over the files. "That's not that deep of a background check but fairly good for a civilian just using the internet. We can add onto that to find ways to make them break."
"Please. We'd hate to have to rescue Dawn again."
"I believe the twins agreed she should fix that."
"Her sister will lose her ever loving mind," Giles said quietly.
Phil nodded. "Yes, but Dawn's sixteen, not three."
"Point I suppose. I don't want to remember what I was doing at sixteen." He hummed, sipping some of his tea. "I do hope the twins are making sure she's safe?"
"One of Merlin's boys has been learning from the twins and suggested a friend of his."
"That's fine I suppose." He cleared his throat. "I won't let that be known."
"That's also fine." He smiled at the young woman stomping in. "Yes, Miss Summers?"
"Who're you?" she demanded.
"The twins' big brother and an agent of SHIELD. I'm here to stop that little cult problem since we can handle humans causing issues when you can't."
"Did the twins send you? Because we can handle it."
He cleared his throat. "Miss Summers, you're likely going to have to kill one of the cultists. I know your girls cannot do that. We at SHIELD can." She shuddered, backing up a step. "As for the twins, no. They shared information with an agent of ours that we have training with them. He told me and it was agreed that was more SHIELD's job than a Council job. Though I came because I'm acquainted with Mr. Giles from our younger years. We hung out a bit while he was on spring break from college and I was on leave from military training."
She grimaced. "Eww. Giles wasn't ever that young."
"All lucky beings age," Phil said dryly. "Including us men." She huffed. "As for your sister, she's with the twins. She restocked both campers and bought the children clothes after the witches summoned her."
"Why?" she demanded.
"A rather large demon they needed to open a portal for and Willow still has the concussion," Giles said. "I protested but it was safer than another large, long lasting battle since the twins had one that lasted nineteen hours two days earlier."
"They could have a slayer," she said. "They should have one."
"Grace got to go back to school," Giles said blandly. "And promptly got to change schools thanks to that nun. Who we've protested and put in a report that she needs drugs of some kind. Even the illegal kind might help her."
Phil laughed. "I heard a report on that situation. Clint was complaining on her behalf. That nun has been sent away from six other schools for that problem and they all suggested mental rearrangement as well. She's been fired from her current position as well."
"Good!" He looked at Buffy again. "I'll gladly send one of the girls to help the twins but you know none of you can handle that sort of battles and the kids being cute near them. The only one that could would be Faith and she's needed here. I'd send you but you're not allowed in the UK again after the last time." She slumped, grimacing. "I'm not going to ask Kennedy to show up due to her problems with the twins. The only other option is to send an underage slayer to them to personally train and I'd never let one of the younger girls into that sort of warzone situation that cleaning up the old building has become."
"I'd go," she said.
"You're not allowed in the UK, Buffy. You threatened two different lesser royals and killed a demon pretending to be a member of Parliament. They have you banned and if they see you trying to come in, even for an emergency, they will instantly arrest you and deport you." She huffed again, pouting. "Beyond that, I doubt you could handle what the twins are. They've seen a lot of harder battles in Africa. They managed a nineteen hour battle with Willow helping. You could not."
"No one has that sort of stamina," she complained.
"Sometimes you have to pull it up," Phil said with a shrug. "Plus they're used to six and seven hour long battles when they have artillery. Without it's often longer. We've gotten full reports from their systems. Our parents were quite worried so had me look." She grimaced, stomping off.
Faith leaned in. "The twins of ass doom need help?"
"They could but it's a constant warzone getting all the things that were loosed," Giles said. "We need you here, Faith, and the only other senior girls are Kennedy or Maribeth. Neither of which the twins will put up with."
"No one puts up with Kennedy," she said dryly. "I don't and neither does B. Even Willow hates her after a few days together." Giles nodded that was true.
"Hey!" Willow complained from up the hall.
"Find a better pussy, Red. You need someone nicer and more supportive than bitchy." She looked at Giles. "They could handle Maribeth."
"They're working with two male agents to train them," Phil said.
"That may be a problem."
"That and she wanted to bed the twins," Giles agreed. "Which isn't allowed."
"We can tell her that. The kiddies would probably drive her off."
"We'll see who we can send them. They haven't even gotten to the bad things yet," Giles said.
"Damn it," she muttered. "I can go if you need me to."
"We need you here. The local community responds well to you."
"I can tell 'em." She shrugged, walking off. "Send me tomorrow night."
"I can do so."
Faith went to the local demon bar. It was early yet but the bartender was in. "I'm being sent to help the twins."
The bartender looked at her. "We'll go easy on Buffy."
"Thanks." She grinned. "Got any news we should hear from over there?"
"Not really. I know Dawn's there. She may have found a way past that cult."
"Good on the girl. She should've been able to handle it sooner but B's a prude and pushy sister. She does it to the rest of the girls too."
"Poor slayers," he said dryly. "Bring first aid stuff and the kids are with them, plus a lot of the coven. Two agents, one's young and cute."
"Cool. I might find someone to tap." She strolled off to let a few others know then went to pack. Giles sent her that night.
***
Faith walked into the camp, dropping her bag and knocking the young one down to kiss. "Howdy." She smirked. "The twins?"
"At the pub with the kids. I'm calming down. Who're you?"
"The slayer Faith."
"Ah. We had your dossier." She shrugged and sat down. "They sent you to help?"
"Yup. Thought the boytoys needed help."
"In many ways," he said dryly. She laughed but nodded. "The kiddies are cute though."
"Way too mushy for me. I'm not used ta kiddies."
Eggsy nodded. "I have a sister."
"That's cool." She looked over at the sound of the jeep, nodding at the guy who got out. "You the hotty that Phil guy said was here?"
"Yup, Clint Barton," he said with a smirk. "You must be Faith. He said you were coming tomorrow."
"Tweedy got me here sooner. He thought they were getting to the bad parts."
"We've seen a few of those," Eggsy said.
"Speaking of, your people sent you backup in the form of that young, noble one," Clint told him. "She's at the pub with the twins."
"D?" Faith asked.
"Dawn's napping," Eggsy said with a point. "She wanted one." He grinned. "It's all fixed."
"Good! About time! Her sister's an idiot about that stuff. Does the same complaining about the younger slayers needing stress relief too. Tried with me but I reminded her of all the rotten dick she's gotten over the years for that same reason so she quit nagging me about mine actually being alive and working. Plus usually hotter than anything she's had."
A rental van showed up and the twins got out. "You're here," Xander quipped. "It's Auntie Faith, guys." They got freed and ran over to hug her. "Awww."
Faith smirked at them over the kids. "I'm not here to sit."
"That's fine. It'll spare my arm," Gray said, coming over. "Guys, time to bathe." They pouted. "Faith can see you tomorrow. She's our slayer on call for the next few weeks." They trooped in, waking up Dawn on the way. She came out to help with the bath times. The kids adored her because she read to them whenever they found a book.
Xander sat down, grinning. "Gray lost the coin toss." Clint and Eggsy smiled back. He looked at Faith. "We have two bad areas before we get to the main emergency." Another car pulled up. "Eggsy, they wanted me to train her with swords too."
"That's fine. Rox's nice that way." He waved her over. "Come pull up a seat."
She settled next to him. "Hello, I haven't met you yet. I'm Roxy."
"Faith." She shook her head. "The twins won't take it easy on you. They're harder on the girls because they know you've gotta be tougher thanks to shitbag men."
Xander nodded. "Yup. All too true too often."
Roxy smiled. "That's fine with me. I expect to work just as hard as any man."
Faith nodded. "Probably, yup. I'll start on sword work tomorrow, guys. That way they can clean up things."
"How did you learn?" Roxy asked.
"Slayers get a download of most everything they need, including weapons and fighting stuff."
"That's weird," she said.
"It's also got the memories of all the other slayers that've come before," Xander said. "All the way back to the First Slayer, Sineya."
"I've talked to her spirit a few times in the scythe. She's seriously pissy that they did that to her but also that the new girls get backed up. She praised us for having that. It makes us stronger." Xander grinned at her. "I know, B don't listen."
"Often."
"She know about her sister beyond her being here?"
"No."
"Good!" She smirked. "D could use some fun. Some safety too. We have *got* to find that girl a future that doesn't come with watching her sister die in a battle."
Dawn leaned out of the camper. "I've been trying. She's on the kick to not even let me go to college now. There might be guys there." She pulled back to go back to helping. Then she came out with one of the babies, who was drinking some water. "I offered to go get knocked up to give her nieces and nephews. She had a fit that made her go to the ER from her blood pressure. Willow nagged me about having normal relationships later. I'm about to run away and hide."
"If you want to be an agent, we might be able to get you in with someone," Clint offered.
"My sister would shit elephants. Whole teams of them." She smiled. "Besides, I don't want to hurt people. Be mean to them sometimes but not kill them. That's kinda a prerequisite, isn't it?"
"Yeah," he agreed. "It is."
"Damn. Otherwise I might."
"You any good at computers?" Eggsy asked. "There's always tech support jobs."
"I have no idea. Our school doesn't really encourage it. Willow's yelled at us for using computers for homework because she used to hack. I have no idea how to do anything but check my email thanks to her."
"Us too," Gray agreed as he came out. He took the baby back, putting her into bed. "There, you rest, sweetheart. We'll be here when you get up." He kissed her on the head then went back out to the campfire. He flopped down beside Dawn. "The Council has a lot of people that are projecting their own problems on others. Willow and your sister included. Including us because we shoot back whenever we're reminded we're normal."
Dawn hugged him. "It's fine. Normal isn't a bad thing. I'm normal. Willow's normal, but wacked in the head." They smiled. "Being a witch doesn't make you not normal. It means you can use a gift that wears you out. It's not real handy in every situation. Me, I'd rather have fight training."
"Why can't you?" Roxy asked.
"My sister."
Roxy grimaced. "She's that strict?"
"She's that uptight," Dawn said. "She thinks I'll never date, because she said so. I'll never have sex because she said so. I can't go to college because there might be guys. I can't have a real job because that would throw off her world. And on and on and on," she finished with a sigh. "One of these days I'm going to run away."
"Why not, she did," Xander said with a shrug. "She ran to LA when your mom gave her an ultimatum she didn't want to hear."
"Huh." She grimaced. "Is there somewhere I can run to that'll not let her contact me?"
"The military," Clint said.
"No thanks. Not my thing. I can't take orders like that. If I think there's a bad idea I've learned to spout off. It usually happens when Buffy has a crackhead idea."
"Have you tried that book that has all the career interest tests?" Clint offered.
"No, not yet."
"I can get Phil to find you a copy. Maybe it'll give you an idea."
"That might be nice."
"That and a boarding school," Gray said.
"She'd never allow that," Dawn snorted. "That would get me out of her way. She'd have nothing to complain about. There's days I feel like the Cinderella of the Council and I know there's no prince at the other end of the ball. They don't go to the prom and my sister wants to make me dress in the most victorian, ugly dress ever. Then she steals my clothes she can't fit into to supposedly look cute on patrol."
"I remember her skirt on patrol problem," Xander said dryly. He pulled out a picture to show. "That's her patrol outfit more than once."
Roxy stared. "How did she fight in that skirt? Or those boots?"
"She's Buffy, she's like that," Faith quipped. "She nags me about fighting in leather pants. Whole lots more practical than a skirt."
"Spike and Angel never minded," Xander quipped. "She went on date on patrol."
"Often and she's passed it on," Faith said with a smile for them. "You need to come back to yell about hos again."
"Yup," Gray said with a grin. "I've already reminded some that they're hos." His phone rang. "We knew you were scrying, Willow. You're paranoid that way," he said without answering it. "We can complain about you two and your house full of hos." His phone rang with another text message. He looked at it. "No, you're not a ho, dear. You don't get any. You're in the entire other direction of that spectrum." He put his phone down. Another text message getting huffy about how they treated the girls. "I treat the ones that have sense just fine.
"Unfortunately sense has been in short supply in Cleveland. You might want to make sure that's not a spell since the one that wanted to be a nun is now doing cage dancing at a club." No new text message for ten minutes. Then she admitted they were right, there was a spell but it hadn't been on her or Buffy. "Of course not," he said dryly. "You two are guarded against it. I'd personally send Dawn to a British boarding school. They're all excellent educationally and she'll need something like that to get past seeing her sister die some day soon."
"Before she takes over our route," Xander agreed.
"As long as it's not Hogwarts," Dawn quipped, cracking up Roxy. "Or Watcher School."
"Mine was exceedingly hard to get into," Roxy said. "I'd suggest it but I nearly didn't get in the test was so hard."
"I went public," Eggsy said with a shrug.
"I got a GED in the circus," Clint admitted.
Dawn looked at him. "You were?" He nodded. "Wow. Is that fun?"
"Lots of work. Putting up stuff, taking down stuff, helping around the camps. It's a lot of hard work every single day."
"I expected it'd be hard work from what little I've read."
"All those tents have to come up and go down," he said. "It takes most of us to do."
"Huh. Is animal training hard?"
"Sometimes. It's not something you learn cold."
"Pity. I might like animals."
"Well, someone's got to deal with the two dragons that immigrated," Gray said dryly. The agents were all giving him odd looks.
"They're in a zoo up by Scotland," Dawn said. "Old Council spawn that became a zoologist."
"That figures." The twins got up to get drinks, coming back out. Willow was there. "Don't you think Dawn would do better in a really good school?"
"She has to come back or Buffy doesn't have a reason to go on," she sneered. "You wouldn't know that."
"Watch me beat your ass," Xander warned.
"You're just a faulty clone."
"No, Willow, I'm the original," he said dryly, pointing at his glass eye. "And I've had enough. I'm so going to have Dawn possessed by someone who had a career and all that good stuff. Then I'm going to get her into a decent school so she doesn't follow us. That way she has an actual *life*. One she wants to live, without the darkness we have daily, and without all the threats."
"You can't remove that from her!"
"I don't need to." He grinned. "There's ways to block that from everyone. Including changing her identity." She slapped at him. "Watch me deck you," he warned. "That's your last shot." She tried to hit him again so he slugged her. Then he sighed. He took the phone from Gray since he had recorded it, and let him call the witches about Willow's fit. He got sent back to the main Council building, dropping her in front of Giles. He let him see the film without saying a word.
"She's been doing that more often," he said quietly.
"She's insecure and pushing it on others. Part of that is Kennedy's shit and some of it's all this plus her addiction. Buffy does the same thing." Buffy growled behind him. He looked at her. "Dawn's going to go to a *real* school that means she'll have a bright future. Maybe even in England."
"She can't get near boys, Xander. It can ruin her."
"Really? Are you sure it hasn't yet?" She gasped. "You can't be with her every second of every day, Buffy. Beyond that, her being *safe* from those who wanted to sacrifice her is a lot better idea. Huh?" He stared at her. "Do you really want your sister to wait on you to come home dead every single day?"
"She's my sister."
"That doesn't mean she's your slave. Would your mother like that?" She swung at him and he blocked it. "Seriously?"
"Children," Giles warned. "Joyce would want Dawn to have her own life, somewhere safe," he said quietly. Buffy cracked, starting to sniffle. "Unfortunately we all would adore for her to have a real, normal life that would keep her safe."
"Someone offered to get her training as an agent and she didn't want it," Xander said. He hugged Buffy. "Sometimes you gotta let them go for their own good," he said. "The same as I will the kids once they're old enough." She stabbed him in the side and he broke her jaw and nearly her throat. Giles hopped up to stop him. Xander held his side, staring at her. "Unlike you, I don't die from a poisoned blade, Buffy."
"You're part demon," she sneered.
He stared at her. "So are you. Where do you think the slayer essence came from?" She gasped, backing up. "You're a lot more than I am. Ask Sineya if you don't believe me." She lunged at him with the dagger out again. He broke her wrist and arm while taking the dagger. "You think that was a good idea? I've had worse than this from patrol." He stared at her. "You're tired. Maybe you should retire." She shrieked and tried for him again. He kicked her in the chest, caving it in. "Huh. Really?"
"Enough!" Giles ordered. "I know you're only defending yourself, Xander, but still!"
"I'm not going to let her cut me again. I do more work than she does."
"You're nothing," she gasped. "You'll always be nothing."
He shrugged. "Great, yay me. We still handle more problems than you do." He stared down at her. "Want me to paddle you again too?" She gasped again. He leaned down to pull her ribs back into place for her. Giles helped him then they backed off. He looked at Giles. "I'm not going to put up with it. From either one. Which school would you like Dawn to go to so she's not in the middle of this toxic bullshit?"
"I'll compile a list tonight. Is she safe?"
"Yeah. She's fine." He smiled. "In all meanings of the word."
"Excellent," he sighed. "Are you sure?" Xander looked at him. "You?"
"Hell no."
"Oh, good."
"She's like my sister too. I want her protected by being able to protect herself when we're all dead from what we do. That way she's got a real life."
"She should have one. I'll talk to her tomorrow. You should get stitches."
Xander looked at his side then pressed on it, sighing. "It's not in an organ. Her knife's not that big." He waved at the slayers staring at them from the doorway. "We've been pushing for Dawn to have a real life away from all this."
"Good," Rona said. "She needs one. Plenty of the younger ones treat her like shit for not being one of us." She pointed at Buffy. "Thanks to her."
"We suggested a school somewhere else and Willow showed up with her fit. I wasn't going to let her hit me again. Then this one stabbed me so I broke her a bit." He stared at her. "She could probably use an ambulance."
"She'll press charges," Rona said.
Xander looked at her. "The PD in town won't take any complaints from any of us. Unless that's changed?"
"No," she admitted. "It hasn't. You good?"
He looked at his side, shrugging some. "Yeah, I'll do some stitches when I get back." He looked at the slayers. "How many of you guys treat anyone who backs you up like she did? Because if so, that means we get angry and leave you. I nearly left her a number of times and the only reason I'm not now is because I don't have to put up with Buffy and Willow very often. Being honest, if I had to be here, I'd have found a real life." They nodded, looking away. He looked at Giles. "Six more days before we tackle the vault."
"Thank you for handling that duty."
"You sent us." He shrugged, then paused to suck in a deeper breath. "Let me go get stitches." He looked up. "Please, Simone?" She sent him back to the camp. "Buffy," he said when his twin hopped up.
"We saw. We logged into the computer system there," Roxy said. "Will that cause problems?"
"No. Because if it does, Buffy's going to have to do it on her own again. The foreign slayers appreciate having help. They know how hard the duty is."
Dawn sniffled, looking at him. "Is my stupid sister going to live?"
"Yeah. I reset her ribs for her so she could breathe."
"Good. Thank you for the ass kicking our mother couldn't do."
"Not a problem." He settled down, letting Gray do his stitches. "Don't," he warned quietly. "Really, just don't."
"I'm not going to go show them how weak she's made them," he promised. "I was going to ask Jo to go do that."
The twins shared a look then nodded. "That's not a bad idea," Dawn agreed. She called her. "Jo, it's Dawn. No, huge shit fit from Buffy on Xander. She stabbed him in the side so he wrecked her a tiny bit. Broken ribs, arm, fractured jaw. Yeah. Can you go show them what a real slayer is supposed to look like? Thanks, Jo." She hung up. "She, Gwennie, and Mortina are all going." She smiled. "They're tired and need a vacation anyway."
"A change of pace from Asia," Gray said with a nod. "If they want."
"Yeah, they wanted to," she assured them. "Mortina is going to pause with the coven on the way back too." She sent that message to them. "I told them about Willow's fit. They're growling but tired. Simone had a scrying up to see what happened."
"Good. That means no one can say I was mean without reason."
"No, you had many reasons," Dawn said, smiling at him. "What would I do in a normal life?"
"Be a girl. Go on dates. Find a career. All that shit."
"I might like that." She hummed at the car driving out. "That's Mama Stephanie."
"Yes, Elder?" Gray called.
She walked over. "You should have paddled them both."
"They'd never allow that. It'd embarrass them," Xander said dryly. "This was instructive and I beat them fairly."
"Yes you did, Xander." She patted him on the cheek. "Willow will never be the way she was."
"I know. Magic became the reason for her existence. Can you find some school ideas for Dawn?"
"There's a few charming ones by us," she said, looking at the young girl.
"I don't want to be a witch though. It's a lot of work and stress. It'll keep dragging me into the hunting."
She nodded. "Too true." She patted her on the head. "You'll do wonderfully finding a real life, Dawn. We support that position and Willow coming back for help."
"Have fun with it," Xander quipped. "Before she comes back." He pointed.
Elder Stephanie turned to look at her. "We saw all that, Willow. You're clearly clouded again. Come along, let's go see the girls."
"No! They hurt Buffy!"
"She started it," Xander said. "After you did." She shot magic at him. The elder witch stopped her but Xander moaned, straightening up. "Wow, not as hard as the last time you tried to kill me." He stood up, strolling over. "Try it again," he offered. "Let's see how that goes this time." She backed off, looking scared. "I'm not your bad puppy," he said quietly. "I never have been and I never will be. So you can stop it or you can never come near me or my family again. Because you're becoming a problem to be hunted. Again." She went pale, shaking her head. "So help me your Goddess, I swore you would not get back to that point when the witches asked me to help you. It's my duty to take you out if you do. It'll hurt but you haven't really liked me since high school anyway so it'll hurt less than staking other friends has." She backed up a step. "Your choice, Willow. Are you going back there?"
"I...." She pulled up magic and had his gun in her face. "You won't. It'll backlash and kill those misformed kids of yours," she sneered.
"I'm standing right here," Dawn said, standing up and walking over. "I'm pretty sure I can prevent that." Willow sent a spell at her and she caught it then absorbed it. "Cute. Dark but cute." The elder witch stared at her so Dawn smiled. "I had to learn. She's tried me a few times and had some of the mini witches try compulsions on me."
"Wow, that's stupid with who you are," Xander quipped.
"I forgot about that," the elder witch muttered. "Oh, dear. Dawn, do not final strike her. It could expand to the building and we're not ready to start on the hard parts yet."
"No problem. I won't. She's not worthy of a final strike." She moved closer and grabbed Willow's cheeks, staring into her eyes. She muttered something and Willow shrieked as her hair bleached then she fell down without any magic. "She's no longer a problem."
Xander put up his gun. "You sure?"
Elder Stephanie knelt beside her to test her. "She's burned her magic from her."
"Yup," Dawn agreed. "Found the spell last year. Knew I'd need it sometime." She helped the elder witch up. "I'm not her whipping post. The same as Xander's not her puppy."
"No, you're not." She stared at her. "Are you sure you don't want the craft?"
"Not as a career. To protect myself I'll keep up those sort of things but otherwise, no. That's not my life. Mom wouldn't want that to be my life."
"That's an informed choice, love. I appreciate that." She kissed her on the cheek. "Call on us if you need us, Dawn. I'll get on that list with Rupert tonight." She took the witch back to her car with Clint's help. "Thank you, dear. I'm sorry you had to see that."
"I'm not. That means they have accountability when they do the wrong thing."
She nodded. "That is one purpose of the Devon coven." She got in and drove off. When she got there, she called Rupert on a joint scrying portal. "We have decided on a punishment for Willow Rosenburg's audacious use of her skills against others. Including her earlier attack against Xander." He swallowed some scotch, nodding. "We have burnt her magic from her."
"Is she living?"
"Yes. We do not want to confine her but she has been harming slayers and taking them from their paths as well. Also, I promised Dawn I'd help her gather a list of schools since she doesn't want to do magic for a career or join the coven. She's interested in protection uses but doesn't want it to be her life."
"That's a well informed choice and her mother would have been proud of it," Giles agreed. "I'll start my own later." She smiled. "Is she well?" She got out of the way so he could see her. He sighed. "Thank you."
"One of the twins called a foreign slayer to come spar with the other girls."
"That should be eye opening I'm sure. Thank you."
"You're welcome. It's good he finally bit back. He's right, she thought he was her puppy."
He nodded. "She has for a very long time." He smiled at them and they cut the link. They could buy Willow a plane ticket back home later. Once she woke up and they chatted with her.
Back at the camp, Xander was wincing and holding his liver. "Damn it, there again."
Gray got him sitting down so he could check it. "At least your liver's not glowing this time. Last time was bad enough." He got a potion from their kit, handing it over. "Here, to demagic you."
"I hate this potion," he muttered, swallowing it in one gulp then going to heave in the bushes for a bit.
Dawn followed to help him. "I'm doing new protection runes on you guys."
"That's fine," Gray agreed. "Sorry you guys had to see that." He sat down. "I'm hoping the kids didn't."
"They're asleep," Eggsy said quietly. "He okay? Need support?"
"No, that potion will make him heave up all the magic he's carrying. It might end some protections on him but it's necessary before that sinks into his liver. We're lucky that the last one got eaten before it shut down our liver." He looked over there then inside the camper. "Well, tonight was eventful." He sighed. "In the wrong way."
"You guys should club or someat," Eggsy said. "Reduce the stress."
"If we do, some of our dates will definitely show up and we can beg them nicely for artillery. We'll probably need some soon."
"Not funny," Clint said.
"They do," Eggsy said with a nod. "Some of their past dates? Yeah."
Gray grinned and nodded. "Many of our past dates."
Roxy shook her head. "That's charming."
"Only the bad boys and girls of the universe love us like we do each other," Gray quipped with a smile for her.
"I don't want to know what twins do," she quipped back.
"We only dance together. Once we were made to strip together but otherwise it's worse than my own hand. We're not that sort of twins, no matter who would like it." She burst out laughing, shaking her head.
"Does your big brother know about that?" Clint asked with a grin.
"I don't know if anyone told him about that extra special valentine's day present or not." He checked on Xander. "We really should look up some of our former good dates to see where they are. We've been missing fun. Some even babysit for fun times."
Faith looked at him, shaking her head. "I don't need to know about you two and funsies. That's a mental neighborhood I don't want to visit."
"Awww, do you want to play?" he teased her, getting swatted.
"Hell no. I'm not bad girl Faith anymore."
"Willow tried to tell me I was the reason you went bad girl."
"Not hardly." She patted him on the knee. "Need help, D?"
"No, I'm good. Thanks."
"Okay, let us know."
"I will. I know I'm not Supergirl. Nor would I want to be."
"There's something comforting not being the one that the world rests on," Clint agreed. Eggsy nodded at that. Clint looked at him. "When?"
"Valentine," Roxy said quietly. Clint blinked. Eggsy nodded. "I did some of the other stuff."
"Wow," Clint said. "That's serious. Good job, guys." They smiled. "Wanna become an Avenger?"
"Not likely. I'd look bad in the suit," Eggsy said with a grin.
"So do I," Clint agreed. They watched Xander come back and head to bed. "He good?"
"Yeah, he's fine. Don't tell his big brother if he'll throw a fit on someone," Dawn said, sitting down again.
"Phil doesn't do fits. Sometimes he'll have some temper but it's always a quiet storm."
"Please don't tell our relatives," Gray sighed. "We'd hate for them to be disappointed at us for handling things."
"I doubt they'd be disappointed," Clint said. "Mad at them, yeah. At you guys, no. I know Phil pretty well and I know he wouldn't be upset at you two or Dawn."
"Don't anyway. We can't handle that."
"Sure. I get that."
"Or Merlin, guys."
"We won't," Eggsy said.
"I was going to ask him about a school list for Dawn," Roxy said.
"That might be handy. He's at least local so he's know about any issues that had hit the press. Thank you and him for me if he has one."
"Not a problem, Dawn. Sometimes it's important to have a plan." She pulled out her phone to text him. He sent back he'd send her one tomorrow in an email. "He'll email one." She smiled. "Maybe you'll find a great support staff sort of position."
"I don't want to watch people I know run out to die anymore."
"That's something we all hate," Eggsy said.
Clint nodded. "Yes we do. Even when it's support staff that gets targeted by accident we hate it."
Dawn stared at him. "I saw a flash in your aura." Clint winced. "We can help end that. The witches have done it for the twins before."
"It's a different sort of possession," Gray said. "Like being infected with the essence of a demon. Her sister did that and became telepathic."
"That's bad," Roxy said. "Eww."
"Yup," Dawn said. "Muchly from what I heard later."
"But she did find the lunch lady trying to poison us all. We all would've gotten hit by rat poison if she hadn't heard her."
Dawn shook her head. "Sunnydale was so screwy," she muttered.
"Yup," Gray quipped with a grin for her. "Thankfully you didn't finish up out there."
"Yes, I'm glad I didn't go to the horribly bad school that was meant to fatten us up for feeding on later. The few years I had there was more than enough."
"Be thankful you got out of there," Gray said. "Spike said plenty of vamps wanted to adopt you as their future princess. Including him."
"Eww, that would be like sharing a lover with my sister. Gross!"
"She...dated a vampire?" Clint asked, looking disgusted. Gray nodded. "Eww. I gotta agree with the munchkin. That's so gross."
"Two. One of them had a soul curse and Spike had one put up thanks to a spell making him think he loved her that much," Dawn said. "I felt sorry for Spike but still gross."
Clint nodded. "Quite gross. Are the other slayers like that?"
"No. Only one's had a crush on a very pretty male vampire. He was emo model pretty but she'd never sleep with him."
"That's grosser than most things I've heard," Eggsy said, looking at his best friend. Roxy was shuddering. "We need ta find you a real life, princess."
She smirked at him. "Only a boyfriend gets to call me pet names, dear." She blew a kiss. "You're too busy for a good girl like me."
"Probably, yeah." He grinned back.
"Guys," Gray complained. "Someone's scrying again."
Eggsy looked up and waved. "Hi." The heavy feeling left.
"Go to bed, Eggsy, before you go nuts," Clint said, but he was smiling. "Let me check in with Phil and I'll hit the couch too."
"Roxy, you can have one of the bunks. The kids are all curling up together," Gray said.
"That'd be kind of you. Thank you. Dawn?"
"She'll probably crawl in on Xander later. She's a great nightmare fighter and we know she'd never touch us. Plus it'll keep the kids from crawling in." She laughed, patting him on the arm. They put out the fire and went in to get ready for another long day in the morning. Clint grinned when Roxy made a report while he made his then they went to bed too.
***
Phil looked at the nightly report from Clint, grimacing at what had happened that night. "Yes, I can certainly find those tests for Dawn so she can find a life outside all that darkness." He paged down, grimacing. "That's disgusting. Oh, and Rosenburg, how nice of her." He read the outcome, frowning some. "She had better hope she never regains them," he muttered.
His father took the phone to read, staring at the report. "Yes, she had better hope she never regains those powers of hers." He paged up, frowning at what he saw. "I do hope that girl gets a regular life for as long as she wants it. I know that sort of thing will tug you back if you let it." He handed the phone back and walked off to talk to his wife. She was most enchanted with Dawn. "Dawn wanted to find a normal school and hopefully a normal career."
"She'd do stunningly well at my former academy," she said, sending that message to Rupert. She also noted that he had no heirs to his family name and should probably think about that soon. After all, he wasn't a spring chicken any longer and her sons couldn't do that for him. Though they might let him name one of the children if he asked.
Ivan kissed her neck, making her smile as she typed. "That is a very naughty idea."
"It goes well with my son's former paramour leaving him one as he had no children."
"He does?" Phil asked, looking back from where he was mostly tied to a chair. His mother had been displeased he had been too busy to come to dinner. His phone rang. "Yes, Stark?" He listened. "No, there was no prep shot or anything in that lab. We ripped it apart to make sure. Though he has been awake. His readings show he's been awake." He listened. "He's probably highly confused. He doesn't have any memories. No one's given him an assignment yet. No one's been there when he's woken up, and I'm doubting they left him alone at all. So go wait until he wakes up again.
"Watch his brain waves and tell him he's safe, you rescued him, and watch out for him to lose it." He listened, nodding along. "That's probably for the best. Yes, I agree that's a good idea. No, he's in England learning how to use a sword. Yes, from my younger brothers. That's fine. He could probably take a call if you wanted. They've been working on the old building, which had a distressing number of demons inside. They've had a number of larger ones show up as being released thanks to the explosion. That's fine. I'll be up there tomorrow," he sighed.
"Maybe," his mother said without looking over. "Perhaps not, dear."
Stark heard because he made a joke. "Yes, I'm grounded. I was too busy to come to dinner. I'll see you as soon as I get free to help with Barnes." He hung up and texted Clint to warn him.
"Let your brothers sleep," Ivan ordered calmly. "You forgot the time difference."
"I was texting Clint." He looked over. "That way he knows what's going on with his team."
"That's fine then. Clinton's a very nice boy." His mother smiled at him. "You should invite him to dinner sometime soon, dear."
"We're not dating, Mom. No matter what the rumors state we're not dating. I was his handler, nothing more."
"Nonsense. That doesn't preclude dating another agent, dear." She smiled. "I saw my handler for a bit. And that dear Arthur has such a crush on his Galahad but is scared of it because he was the poor boy's mentor into training and then he died for a bit." She grinned. "You can date him if you want. We won't mind a bit. We won't even demand that you adopt grandchildren."
"That's a good thing since kids are scary," he shot back, smirking at her. "Besides, Clint's hiding a family."
"Oh, pity. I had such hopes for you two." She went back to checking her sources. "Hmm. The poor boys will be missing a paramour soon it appears. The UK wants one of them gone for good."
"If you tell the twins, they'll try to get him to hand over some of his weapons first," Phil said.
"It appears he switched off weapons for biological contaminants." She grimaced. "That's disgusting."
"Germ warfare is gross," Phil agreed. "May I get up to go to the bathroom, Mom?"
"Of course, dear. As long as you don't try to escape since dinner's in an hour."
"I won't." He got free and headed into the bathroom. When he came out, his father tied him back up. "Dad!"
"You were slow. You need practice," he said, patting his son on the cheek with a smile. "Then you can teach our grandchildren."
"Someone should before they start dating like the twins."
"There's not that many arms dealers left in the world," Ivan quipped. "They'd have to share and that would make us upset."
"The twins have dated agents," Phil said. "I was hoping they'd hit on Natasha. She could use someone fun in her life."
"I thought her and Clint maybe," Ivan said, looking at his wife.
"Many have," Phil said dryly, smiling at him. "And they might've at one point in time. Now they're more like siblings."
"Do others know about his family?" his mother asked.
"No. I'm about to give him a good reason to go on injury leave. Another reason I sent him at the twins. He could use the sword work lessons but also because he'll get injured and have to go home for a bit." He sent a message to one of the twins. They could arrange that.
***
In England, Gray looked at his phone then hummed. He got up and found something on a dirty shirt, carrying it over to the other camper. He dropped the specific spot of goo on Clint's forearm, smiling at him when he stared back. "Big brother said you're ignoring things like your farm. He said to make sure you got an injury leave. Two weeks with regular antibiotics and you'll be fine but it'll itch so whoever can baby you. It looks totally nasty but isn't contagious." He left again.
Clint looked at his arm, going to clean it off. He called Phil. "That's evil." He smiled. "Thanks." He hung up and headed out. Roxy was in the other camper so only Eggsy had seen. He'd understand, he had a family too. And a pug.
***
The next day, Eggsy settled at the firepit next to Roxy and Gray. "Clint had a rash?" he asked.
"Yup. Phil said he had one."
Eggsy nodded. "Sometimes you gotta baby those things." Gray smiled at him for that. "I should bring JB up to treat the kids."
"Don't give our kids pets. You'll never get it back," Xander said as he came out. "Grace is back, she just pounced Faith, and Dawn's babysitting today." They all nodded. Grace and Faith came out, settling on the free side of the firepit. "So, for today?"
"Let's do an easy part, yeah?" Eggsy asked, smiling at him. "Nothing with a building-sized demon?"
"Sometimes, the small ones are the worst," Xander told him, patting him on the knee. "Really high up demons in the hierarchy show up as kids. We've thought ours were a few times."
"My sis too," he agreed. "I remember colic."
Both twins shuddered. "Don't remind us," Gray ordered. "Please."
"To blatantly change the subject," Grace said, looking at her older role model. "Do you ever crave stuff? Like seafood?"
"Not really," Faith admitted. "I had plenty of the cheap stuff since I grew up in Boston. Used to nick some now and then from food vendors or backdoors of fancy places that were going to throw it out. Lobster was nice."
"Lobster used to be considered food for the poor," Roxy said. "Until someone more wealthy liked it." She grimaced. "I never really cared for it but I do like crabs."
"We went to a county fair in Cali. Someone there had a lobster fries dish," Xander said. "It was so good even though he ruined it by putting the funny tasting mayo on it."
"Aioli?" Grace guessed.
"I have no idea but it was funny tasting mayo. It was really good without that."
"I would've liked bacon bits on it too," Gray said. "I like bacon."
"Mmm, bacon," Xander agreed, looking blissed out. "Like that maple syrup bacon?"
"Oh, that was nice." Everyone was staring at them oddly. "They baked the bacon, which means less mess, but they coated it in maple syrup before baking it. So damn good."
"I've seen some done with sugar," Eggsy said. "At a fair. It was definitely bad for me but I remember it was real good."
"I'm not a big one for sweets so I probably won't try that," Roxy said.
Faith shrugged. "All slayers like sweets except for Rosana. She's so anti sweet it's not funny."
"Then again, she's anti any food," Xander said, looking at her. "She went past vegan to 'not eating anything that might've had feelings', including more complex plants. I don't know where she got empathy for potatoes and carrots but she does. We all think it's weird and have had her checked for possession."
"So salad and herbs?" Roxy asked. They nodded. "How boring. Plus not good for you with such a minimal diet."
"Which is why she's sick and whiny," Gray said. "We reminded her of that when she wrote whining about hospital food being forced on her."
Grace nodded. "I saw the last time her mother admitted her. That time to psych."
"Good!" the twins said.
"We should send her some chicken fried bacon," Gray said with a mean grin for his twin. "I remember seeing that at that one fair."
"That was good," Xander agreed. "Hmm. We need to try that ourselves."
Eggsy looked at them. "That's bad for you." He grinned.
"You gotta let yourself have a treat now and then otherwise you die with regrets," Faith said. "Make me some chocolate covered?"
Grace moaned, gripping Faith's arm. "Oh, that sounds so good."
Dawn walked out and handed her a chocolatey cake. "Here, I heard that need and had it a few days back." She smiled. "What are we talking about?"
"Speciality bacon and sending Rosana some." Gray smiled. "Faith wants some chocolate bacon. We were thinking about sending her some chicken fried bacon if we can find the recipe again. Or maybe some maple bacon."
Dawn patted him on the head. "You don't have a deep frier or a huge oven, guys. And you're almost out of propane again."
"We can get some later," Xander said. "Water?"
"Probably low by now," she agreed.
"We can drive over to the campground in the next town to top up," Gray said. He looked at the wreck, waving at the eyes staring back at him. It whimpered. "Then go. As long as you're not going to eat someone, go." It wiggled its way out then ran off. They could hear another whimper in there so he got up to see what it was. That one got released too and it ran off. Gray came back to get more coffee and sit back down. "Someone apparently decided to capture things they thought were cute."
"They were dumb and we knew that," Dawn said. She went back to play with the kids. She adored the kids. She didn't want any of her own but she adored the horde. She looked up sales on bacon and other ingredients they'd need. Sure, it was mean to Rosana but she needed the swift kick.
***
Roxy showed up in person to report for a new mission. She was limping, the ends of her hair were singed. Her clothes were messed up and dirty. She had some soot on her face. Her arm was in a sling. She was smiling so broadly everyone got out of her way thinking she had finally cracked. She nodded politely at Merlin. "You needed me for a mission?"
He stared at her. "What happened? Should I get a drink before I hear it?" he asked when she started to laugh.
"One of the witches accidentally opened the vault before we were ready to handle it."
"Sit, lass."
"Hell no." She shook her head. "I can't do that."
"We'll get you to medical. Eggsy?"
"Being babied by the kids. They'll drop him around here later since the building's done. Completely done. The demons sank it when they realized they wouldn't win." She let out another small laugh. "It was so nasty."
"Let me get you to a bed." He got up and helped her to the infirmary. "She was helping the Council team for sword training. They ran into a problem."
"Are you infected by a demon?" a nurse asked.
Roxy shook her head but was still smiling. "No. Not in the least. I killed four. Two of them because they wanted me as a wife. One because it wanted Galahad as a wife." They helped her to a room so they could strip her and treat her injuries.
Merlin got an email saying they were sorry, they had kept her out of most of it. Eggsy was still with them since he didn't want to go home and let his sister see him like that, or Arthur, and they were at a nice hotel with the kids. The witches had paid for it in apology. Merlin answered back they could treat Eggsy there. Eggsy wrote back saying he wasn't going to let anyone see him like this. Not even him. Merlin went to the hotel, going to check on his agent. Eggsy was hiding in a darkened room. "Did you get disfigured?"
"No," he moaned. "Fuck you."
"Not likely. I don't let anyone back there." He flipped on the lights, staring at him. Half his hair was gone, he was bruised all over, and he was spread on the bed like he couldn't move. "You need the infirmary. It's irresponsible of you to lay in here and die."
"'M not," he complained, pouting a bit. "Just banged up. And hairless." He moved his feet with a wince. "Just bruised."
"Uh-huh. I can get you back there subtly."
"Considering I can't walk, I doubt that."
"The antidote will take another hour to work," Gray said from behind Merlin. "One of the kids poked him with the poisoned dagger while trying to hand it to him." He walked in to feed Eggsy some water. "The hair'll grow back faster. The witches are ending that spell that made them want you as a wife."
"Ta." He sipped some more and put his head back down. "Witches are mean."
"Yup, that's a thing we already knew." He fed him some more water then left Merlin to yell at him.
"Do you two need medical as well?" Merlin called after Gray.
"You know we don't do doctors," Xander called back from his room. "Ever."
Gray leaned out of that room with a grin. "Besides, if you did, you'd have to babysit. I can just see our kids helping all the trainees and agents."
Merlin shuddered. "Me too. That's a bad thought." He looked at Eggsy. "We can still take you in."
"Let the spells end, yeah?"
"Maybe not. It could be safer there. I'm sure some of their dates are showing up soon."
"Probably since one's already over there babying Xander. His side's still sore from Rosenburg."
Merlin grimaced. "I can bring you all in. The kids can play with the weapons design team."
The 'visiting bad guy' stepped out to stare at him. "I can easily baby the twins and that one. We're waiting on the magic and poison to end first. He doesn't want to be embarrassed." He gave him a pointed look. "Some young ones have pride. Just like the twins do." He went back in there to help Xander's booboos. "That's very nice of you to help me clean off the booboos, Toby. Thank you. Good boy."
Eggsy sat up with a wince, holding his back. "Give it an hour, yeah?"
"Yeah, we can do that. Will you be able to walk then or should I arrange for transport?"
"We're only around the corner from the shop but nah, I don't think I can walk that far."
"I can get us a cab to get you back there then." He checked him over. Eggsy looked like a walking bruise. The magic ended easily and quietly, making the hair grow back. The bruises didn't heal any. Eggsy finally was able to move and got up with help, going to hug the twins. "Let me get him back there, boys. Do I need to send a doctor?"
"Nah. We're great at it," Gray said dryly.
"All right. Call tomorrow?"
"Yes, dear," Xander said, blowing a kiss with a grin.
"Good boys." He walked Eggsy out, hovering behind him as he limped out to meet up with the cab he had summoned. It was only a second's wait but Eggsy wore himself out getting into the cab. When they got back to the Camelot estate, he had the medical team come out to help Eggsy out since he was nearly asleep. "He was in the same battle Lancelot was."
"Figures," one of the nurses said. "Anything we should hear?"
"He was given an antidote for the poison he accidentally picked up and it should be erased now, and the magic that had accidentally hit him was ended by the witch who hit him instead of the demon," Merlin said.
"We can test for the poison easily enough. Are we sure about the spell?"
"Yeah, the hair's back," Eggsy said dryly. "No more spells."
"Why would your hair matter?" a nurse asked, looking at his hair. "Though you could use a trim."
"Because the one demon was banished by taking his hair and lighting it on fire," Eggsy said. "She missed a bit and got some of mine."
"Aww, poor thing." They carried him inside. "All the bruises?"
"Most were from the last twenty-four. Some were older. There's been a few huge suckers comin' outta there."
"I believe he called in one report that said 'nineteen hours' and that was about it," Merlin complained.
"Yup," Eggsy said, grinning at the nurse. "They put some herbal stuff on 'em that's fab. I can't feel a single pain right now."
"Charming but helpful I suppose." They got him to a bed, stripped down, and blood taken to check that poisoning. He really was one big bruise with a few ripped muscles in his back. His hands were torn up with new blisters that had opened but been slathered with something. Like with Lancelot, they'd have a lot of little picky injuries to deal with. Clearly, dealing with demon things was the problem that some people had.
Merlin was checking on who had been with the twins, grimacing when he saw it was a lower ranking member of MI-5. Whose brother was a lackey in Parliament. "Charming new friends," he muttered as he checked up on them. "Ah, the kids made sure he didn't kill 'em. Great!" He found something new in the twin's file, looking at it. "They were left what?" he muttered. "Huh." He called Gray's phone. "It's me. Look up yourself in Google, lad. Because one of your dates left you stuff, like a house. A little cottage nearly in the middle of nowhere. No, he's fine. Loopy but fine. Yeah, there." He spluttered. "They did what?" he demanded. "Huh. Won't that have to come from someone higher up? Oh, charming! Sure, you handle that, boys. Let me know if you need help." He hung up, going to get a drink. He could use a drink, and telling Phil. He'd adore his brothers inheriting a house in the UK.
***
Giles answered the phone in the kitchen. "Watchers' Council, how may we help you?" He listened. "They did what?" he demanded. "From whom?" He sighed. "Is that one of their former dates?" He nodded. "Can they protest it? I'm not sure if I want to uphold that or not, Philip. It could upset them greatly. No, they do deserve it, yes. Plus it would give the children somewhere stable to be. Actually I have to talk to them anyway as there's been a few of us that had died. Yes I can. Tomorrow fine? That's good. Yes, I have an appointment next week. That's fine, Philip. I'll see you there. Thank you for letting me know." He hung up, looking at Andrew. "One of the twins' dates left them a modest little house."
"That's charming. That'll keep them out of here so they don't have to deal with the poutiness they caused by being themselves."
"Yes, well, it had to be done I'm afraid since the ladies started it."
"I agree, they had to, but they're still pouty and Jo beating most of the girls in the house made them more so. Thankfully they're super good."
"Yes, and the girls that the twins have trained are just as good," Giles said with a smile for him. "They've done fantastic with it." Andrew smiled. "We'll have to see how that plays out. Most governments would want to confiscate it depending on what their former dates had done."
Andrew nodded. "Here in the US they only have to suppose you've done something. Even if you haven't." He got back to his chopping of onions. "Are we going to talk about the problem members?"
"Yes, we should." He looked at his list. Then at the younger man. "I know I put an enormous amount of pressure on you with that problem."
Andrew shrugged. "I can handle it. It's nice not to be seen as the help." He smiled at the slayer leaning in. "Ham casserole."
"Can we have dessert?"
"Do I ever not make dessert?"
"Last night's was biscuits. Like southern biscuits."
"That was supposed to be shortbread and if you had gotten to the fruit it was nicely fluffy."
"Oh, well, fruit, yay."
Andrew smirked. "Fruit makes up a good portion of dessert, Jo."
"Fine." She came in to hug Giles, grinning at him. "Is everyone okay?"
"The twins are still bruised but all right."
"That's good. Do we need to go excavate anything else?"
"Not that I'm aware of. I hope not."
"Good. Let me know. We don't mind backing up the twins and we can go with Mortina to see the coven." She skipped off. "I'm going to spar if anyone wants to join me." The other girls glared at her for it. "Welcome to being patrol ready, ladies. We have a lot of stuff to do nightly and not enough time to do it. I can gladly teach you that throw I caught you with too," she told one young, cocky slayer.
"I should learn it, just in case," she grumbled but went in to spar with her. It was a good learning experience.
Jo looked at her as she wrapped her hands. "Every slayer makes a promise to herself to train harder after every apocalypse battle we survive," she said quietly. "Then we forget if we can. Some of us can't. That's why I mourn my twin, who was one of us." She stared at the young one. "This year's apocalypse battle isn't any better than the others, even if they do stop the invasion in London thanks to that cult."
"I know that but it sucks."
"Yeah, but a few hours of sucking is better than a lifetime of death. Right?"
"Yeah, that's true. With my luck I'd have to float after Buffy nagging her about her skirts." Jo smiled and waved her on. They got into it easily enough. The younger one was good but could be better. She taught her all the tricks the twins had taught her, and her big brother had taught her. It was good for her.
***
The twins looked up as Merlin joined them at the pub's table their first night out of bed. "What's up?" Xander asked, smiling at him. "Thanks for not taking out our fussing date. It was nice to be fussed over."
"Not a problem. He's only mildly bad at many things." He stared at them. "Your little cottage is cute." They smiled. "And all yours."
"Thanks. They won't protest his will?" Gray asked.
"No. They'd rather not. A few thought that you two being up there would help make sure the country was protected."
"We're still needed back in Africa," Xander said.
"They'd like you to be up here long enough for the invasion if possible, boys." Merlin grimaced. "I've pointed out we do have a few slayers currently in the country, and we wanted to see what a slayer could do against an agent. We're wondering if you could talk Faith into training against Eggsy? Maybe Grace as well if she wants to. Since she's younger I'd keep her against Roxy."
The twins looked at each other then Gray texted Faith. She wandered in a few minutes later. She sat down beside Merlin, staring at him. "What's up and who're you?"
"I'm Merlin. I'm Eggsy and Roxy's handler." He smirked a tiny little smirk. "We wanted to know if you'd like to train against those two, and with Grace if she wants, to show off what you girls can really do. We'd let you learn things we know that you may not."
"Eggsy's not bad. Very parkour oriented," Gray said dryly.
"That running shit?" Faith asked. Merlin nodded. So did Gray. "I've never understood that stuff." She took Xander's drink to sip, making him roll his eyes. "You don't need it anyway. You'll just get picked up by another bad girl." She looked at Merlin. "I wouldn't *mind* but I'm not sure I can trust you. I like the young, hotshot thing, but I barely know him."
"You can. We trust him, he's the kids' godfather," Gray said, smiling at her.
"Him and our brother would never hurt the girls or the kids," Xander said, taking his drink back. "Besides, I might want to be picked up tonight." He blew a kiss and took a drink.
Faith shook her head. "I could use some dick just as much but I like mine nicer than yours."
"We stopped the last bad one," Gray said dryly. "He wanted to eliminate a village as a way of wooing us." He shrugged, sipping his light beer.
She shook her head. "Just training to see what a top level slayer can do?" Merlin nodded. "Can I break any stupid ones?"
"Gladly," he said with a smile. "I enjoy that myself. Though you won't find any trainees right now. Just full agents."
"I can do that and I'll ask Grace. She's bored with the home schooling stuff." She texted her, getting back a 'please, I'll beg, no one here will work out with me'. "She said she's stuck without a workout buddy." She looked up. "So we can do that."
"I'll grab Grace to bring her down," Xander offered.
"Roxy can. She's up by her to recover with an aunt, boys." He smiled. "You two go be good boys. Don't make too big of a mess with your next fun time. There's some truly nasty in town right now. Including ones who'd want to know why you two don't let others touch certain things." He gave them a look then got up, holding out a hand. "Tonight?"
"Sure. Gotta grab my bag from the hotel. I only packed enough for a few days."
"That's fine. We have washers." She smiled, going with him to pick up her bag and go back to the center. She didn't even mind being blindfolded.
The twins looked around, spotting a past date, who was staring at them. They grinned. "We've got babysitters," Xander cooed at his twin. "For two days."
"The kids are going to be horrible when we meet them up-country with the witches."
Their past date strolled over, smiling at them. "So free?"
"For two days of witches watching the little ones," Gray cooed, smiling up at him. "They get to change diapers, feed them sugar, and read to them."
"And they have to deal with the hyperness they cause with cookies since they like to bake," Xander agreed happily, drinking a sip of his beer. He got kissed, then his twin. "So...."
"Let's go for a walk, boys." They went with him, the guy's bodyguards following them but not paying any attention to their bosses groping the fun ones. It wasn't their business and some day they'd be bad enough to earn the twins' attention.
***
Faith watched Eggsy working out and shook her head. "How is that useful?"
"I can dodge some bullets," he said with a grin. "Come try." She sighed but came over to try to do what he did. "It's momentum." She moved back to run then flipped off the wall, looking at her feet. He grinned. "Good first one. Now let's try for height?"
"I'm not B. I've never been a flippy person."
He laughed. "She's petite and perky but you're more real." She swatted him but was smiling. They had become friends over training him how to handle a sword for real. He got back to working on her extra skills. It might help her someday. Then they went to the lifting gym. Merlin was in there to test them. The agent with the top lifting record came in to test himself against her and Eggsy. Eggsy knew he couldn't lift like a power lifter but Faith could apparently do his level with one hand. The higher levels she had to actually try harder but she still beat the knight by another hundred pounds. A pouty knight made her happy and Merlin got to test her with other exercises. When Grace showed up that night, they found out she had been hiding some of her skills and Faith yelled at her about that but she dealt with it and ignored Faith like the teenage girl she was.
Then the slayers ran sword tutorials for the knights that might someday have to be in a demonic battle.
Later that night, Eggsy took Faith back to his old haunts. They were a lot like hers in Boston so it gave her some homesickness but he was good to hang out with to help cure it. And his sister was adorable.
***
The twins looked at their little cottage, as it had been described to them, and agreed it was a little cottage. It was cute. It was whitewashed stone on the outside with a few windows. One story. Cute wooden door. They walked in together, finding two witches in the living room, on a flowered couch, and one in the kitchen putting on water to boil. "The kids?" Gray asked quietly, looking around.
"In the bigger bedroom. There's only two, boys, so you'll have to add on," one of the witches said with a smile. "We brought some furniture since there wasn't any here."
"Thanks." Xander looked around. The kitchen wasn't modern by any means but it wasn't too ancient. Nothing before the nineties it looked like. The two bedrooms were small by American standards. The one that had the full sized bed held all the kids curled up together, with the babies in the center. The other one had a smashed in full size bed that you couldn't really walk around. They snuck to look at the bathroom, which had a tub, so that was handy, and all the other usual bathroom parts. They went back out. "Any idea if there's a hidden area?" Xander asked.
"No clue," the head witch said. "They were darling children for us. We did expect you boys earlier today?"
"Traffic," Gray admitted. "There's a huge wreck in the nearest town thanks to a cricket game's riot or something. We had to pause to get people off the campers." He flopped down on the floor next to a wall. "Is the yard safe?" The witches all nodded. "Cool." He looked at his twin, who grinned back. "It won't be that hard to put on an extra area, or even a second story."
"I'd rather have it all on one floor. That way I'm not forced to go up and down the stairs while I'm in a cast," Xander said.
"Good point. Plus more bathrooms." The witches giggled. "We know girls will need more. There's three of them. They'll need at least four more bathrooms just for the girls." They giggled again. Gray got up to look outside. "We can add on that way," he said as he came back in. "The backyard is a stone patio. The eastern lawn isn't bad. The western has a small slope and the garage or storage area out there. It looks like it's falling in too."
Xander nodded. "We can plan that. It won't be that hard to add onto the cottage and we've been told we need to be here for the next few months anyway." Gray nodded and sat down beside him again. They looked over at the sound of sneaking. "Potty time, guys?" he called quietly. The baby squealed and ran out to pounce them. "I like you too. Did you have fun with the coven?"
"Sascha, want me instead?" Gray asked with a grin and a wave.
Sascha waved back. "Him then you." She snuffled Xander's shoulder then snuggled in again.
The witches all smiled. "Let us know if you need more than the usual protections put on."
"We'll be painting anyway," Xander quipped with a grin. "We need the anti-magic runes though."
"We can work them up to protect the nursery, boys," another witch said with a pat for the baby's head. "You boys have fun. Need anything else?"
"We stopped to get groceries so they're in the campers," Gray said with a smile. "Thank you for heathen sitting."
"They're adorable little demons, boys." The witches drove off together in a hail of Celtic harp music and one complaining she wanted something with lyrics.
The boys looked at each other then went to explore. There was no way the one that had left them this house had used only two small bedrooms. He had a staff of thirty plus guards. If they had been here, they had lived somewhere else. They found a sliding door in the bathroom and went down to see what was down there. There was a barracks and a computer setup down there. An office, a small library, a slightly better kitchen, a dining hall, and two more bedrooms. The twins shared a look. They could handle this for now. Plus add on so they had more real bedrooms.
***
Big Brothers Unite. Or At Least Find Some Sanity and Friends.