Roxy and Clint showed up together, her driving since Clint's arm was broken. "Boys?" she called from the doorway.
"Looking at the storage area," floated up from over the slight hill. They hiked down there. Xander came out to stare at them. "You can have the flowered couch the witches left," he offered with a grin.
"Thanks. Your brother sent me to check on you since you haven't called him or anyone," Clint said with a smile.
"Cellphones don't work out here," Gray said. "And our satellite phones are off again thanks to Fury raiding the company because they're demon owned."
"We did email," Xander added. "Including house plans."
"I didn't hear that," Clint said, trying to call Phil. No signal. Roxy's either. "Do you guys have a blocker out here?"
"No, there's no tower on this side of town for another sixty miles. We asked," Xander said. "Also no hope of a home line."
"We can get a satellite for tv and internet but not phone," Gray added.
"That's nuts," Roxy said. "I thought we had coverage everywhere in England." They went back up to the house. "Anything interesting found, boys?" she asked with a smile.
"A slight office area underground but it's got an older system."
"Fine for what we need," Xander said. "But nothing too high tech."
"Have you cleaned it to make sure that no one's got a line in?" Clint asked.
The twins looked at him. "Why would they care about Council business?"
"Because there's still people who weren't found," Clint said. "And also some hidden HYDRA people who would love to bring you guys down."
"Plus probably demons who are technological that could hack in."
Xander looked at her. "Quite possibly but they could do it to the main house's system. We couldn't get it too high up, Giles considers computers to be worthless evil. We had to rest on the knowledge that Rosenburg had and a few other watchers that had personal systems." She moaned, shaking her head. "We use our phones most of the time but then again." He waved a hand around. "No signals."
"Where are the kids?" Clint asked, looking around.
"Nap time," Gray said, holding up the baby monitor's receiver end.
"That's sweet of them." They went into the house, Roxy going to be nosy for others. She had her official glasses on so Merlin could see too. "Boys, which room is the kids'?"
"Right now they're sharing the bigger one. We're adding on rooms," Gray said.
"That's good. Are you guys settling in for good?"
"No. We're here until two weeks after the planned invasion in London since they couldn't stop that cult." He shrugged but grinned. "We'll handle it."
"Of course you will and you'll have help. Where's this system? Merlin wanted to know." He showed her the office area. "I've never heard Merlin make that noise before. Is that XP?"
"It runs the programs," Gray said firmly. "The later versions of Windows won't run the database."
"Oh, dear. That's going to suck."
"Quite."
"What about security updates?" she asked.
He stared at her. "Half of those are the problem, not the solution. Most of them aren't needed. Very few are actually critical updates and we don't use many microsoft programs outside of the operating system. Like I said, we had to rely on Rosenburg. It has to be useable by everyone. It has to run the programs. Seven ran all but one program and that one's only semi-critical and it can't be reverse engineered to update it."
She looked at him. "That's sad."
He nodded. "But necessary. Most people who hoard books don't like computers."
"Good point. Merlin said let him think about things. He's already got a line into that system so he can go over the specs later."
"He's busy."
"He may be but he just said he's going to because this is the fallback for the Council."
He grinned. "Not exactly." She stared at him. He grinned. "We have multiple fallbacks." He walked off. "C'mon. I'll start an early dinner because I can hear the kids getting cranky so they're awake."
She followed, heading up to talk to the cranky ones. They ran outside instead and went to play in some mud. Xander went with them while Gray got to cook. She leaned out the door. "Xander, Merlin just asked why you guys weren't living at the bigger house on the other end of the property."
"What bigger house? We only knew about this one." He looked back. "We've barely gotten the areas around here explored. We know the lands extend about five miles but no one and nothing said anything about another building."
"Hmm. Let him look on the satellites then." She went back to the kitchen to talk to Gray. She touched her glasses. "Merlin said that your ex boyfriend is in London."
Gray looked up then at her. "Who?"
"Jarvin? Harold Jarvin?"
"Mercury," Clint called.
"Oh! Him." He grinned. "Tell Merlin to tell him we said hi. He hates kids so I doubt he'll show up to flirt." He went back to his salad prep work. "Though not a boyfriend, more of a vacation fling." He grinned at her. "I'm sure he knows what those are like."
"He just groaned so probably." She smiled. "Have the slayers come up yet?"
"Not yet. Last I heard Faith was flirting with Eggsy in the gym."
Roxy sighed but nodded. "Often." She stiffened. "Merlin said you two need to take Eggsy out to go clubbing. He's being a pain in the arse, that's a quote, and he needs out of the building before Merlin grounds him from missions.
"He and Faith fighting?" Gray guessed.
"No, Faith found some fun with some of Eggsy's former friends. He laughed about her breaking them. Merlin wants the unholy duo broken up before he has to have Faith fitted for a suit."
The twins looked at each other then shrugged. "We can go clubbing. We have in the past."
She came closer to Gray, leaning on his arm. "There's also the matter that one of the other knights has insane jealousy with wanting Eggsy," she said quietly. He smirked back. "Can you?"
"Of course we can. We're good at helping people get their man." He winked and handed her a bowl. She took hers and Clint's to the living room. The kids came back to get food when they saw them eating. They adored their 'aunt' and 'uncle' that teased them with veggies.
***
Xander strolled into the tailor's shop, staring at the young guy meeting them there. "You are *not* wearing that to go out with us." He smirked at him. "Sorry, but Roxy's orders. We're to make you have dirty fun tonight."
Eggsy looked him over, leather pants and form fitting t-shirt plus boots. One obvious knife in the boots. Eggsy looked at his own outfit then at Xander again. "We're going to that sort of club?"
"Yup, that's the only type we go to." Xander grinned. "Gray's in the car. Change. C'mon." He strolled off.
"I can go in this."
"Then you look like you're our toy instead of hunting," Xander shot back.
"Point." He went to change into something tighter then came back to meet the twins at the car. He slid into the back of the posh looking sedan, looking around. "Rental?"
"Of course. We don't have a car here. Or anywhere really. We can't really take it with the campers." They drove off, going to a favorite club of their type of one-night stands. Eggsy gave them an odd look but they went to the door. The bouncer looked at them.
"Good evening, Bugsy," they said in unison. "Is Andrew in tonight?"
"Yeah," the guard said, nodding. "With his girlfriend."
"This is our new buddy, Eggsy." Gray pulled him closer. "We need funsies. The kids are driving us batty plus we're renovating to add on bedrooms for them. Two bedrooms and one bathroom for all of us just doesn't work."
Bugsy got out of the way. "There's others in there that might be able to find the real house so you're not out in the tech cottage." They kissed him and Eggsy waved but followed the twins in. Bugsy called that in. There were two others that knew where that house was.
Eggsy got put between the twins and the music got better suddenly. He looked around then at Xander since he was facing him. "They like you here?" he asked over the music.
"Yeah. The one who owns the club is an occasional good night's sleep." He winked and moved closer, dancing with him. Eggsy got into it, it was fun taunting the bad guys this time. Gray handed him a pair of official glasses and he put them on when he realized what they were. "Hi, Merlin," Xander cooed next to Eggsy's ear. "Are you watching?"
Eggsy blushed. "Yeah, he is. He thinks there's a worse bad idiot in here."
Gray looked then pointed. "Him?" Eggsy nodded. "Oh well. He's not our type. He's uptight." He pulled Eggsy back against him and smiled at the guy strolling over. "The kids are driving us batty. This is our new friend Eggsy."
The guy smiled. "He's cute, boys." He winked at Gray and stole Xander to dance with. He still ended up surrounded by the twins and their new friend. He was a happy evil computer genius. A few others came over to dance too and it was good.
***
Back in the office, Harry was watching as Eggsy was trained to bait like the twins did without him realizing it. Harry was growling. Merlin looked smug because his plan was working. Then finally Harry got up and hiked off, going to ...rescue Eggsy from the twins. He got to the club and smiled. "I'm here for my boy. May I?" Harry asked politely from his glasses' feed.
"Sure," he agreed. "Is he with the twins?" Harry growled but nodded. Bugsy smiled. "They're getting a fruity virgin drink at the bar and Xander's getting a backrub."
"Thank you." Harry walked in and grabbed Eggsy, walking him off. "Come along. It's time we talked, young man."
"Harry?" he demanded. "Problems?"
"Yes, quite." He took the glasses off Eggsy and tucked them into his own pocket. "I don't think Merlin needs to hear this discussion or the groaning afterward. I really should spank you like the naughty boy you are." Eggsy was laughing but Harry dragged him to his home to make him groan even better.
The twins high-fived and got back to their teasing.
It was such a fun game for them.
Plus sometimes profitable since they got some stuff to handle the upcoming invasion.
***
Eggsy showed up the next day, smirking at them. He swatted Roxy. "For the crappy plan," he said.
She hugged him. "It worked."
He nodded. "Quite well."
"I can see the bite marks. Were you tasty?" she asked primly, trying not to smile.
"Yup, sure am. The twins make it back?"
"They're out in the garden with the kiddies." They went that way. Eggsy swatted them both but they just grinned at him. "They were having fun."
"We were," Xander agreed happily. "It was nice fun too. Growled a bit, teased us back."
"Gave us some help for the upcoming battle," Gray agreed. "Including Bugsy's boss volunteering his people to help."
Eggsy stared at them. "You two are cranked."
"Yup," they agreed, smiling at him.
Toby pounced his favorite buddy. "Hatty?" he asked with a cute grin. "Me hatty?"
"Sure, you can bum the hat." He let the little one have it. Toby ran off to use it as a race car. The hat got 'driven' all over the track the other little cars were going over. Eggsy sat down and looked at them. "Who planned that?"
"Merlin," Roxy said with a smirk. She sat down, waving at the kids. "Oooh, cars? Which one's the camper?"
"Hatty. It can carry others," Toby said, looking serious. She smiled at him. "Come play?"
"Sure." She got down to play with them. The kids pounced her to tickle her but it was fun.
Faith strolled out, staring at the kids. "Hey, heathens." They paused their tickling to wave at Faith then went back to it. Roxy had to get up to run to the bathroom. Faith sat down in the free chair, looking at the twins. "Were they good?"
"Yes, they were," Gray agreed happily. "Though we did find out we didn't inherit that house. It's on the other plot of land. His second-in-command has it."
Eggsy shrugged. "Pity. Could use it probably." He got down to play with the kids when they pouted at him. He got his hat back but they all piled on him to wrestle. It was good for them. Even the tiny ones squealed and pounced. They were adorable and Daisy would be a great playmate for them.
Faith looked at the twins, shaking her head. "So now what?"
"Invasion coming up," Gray said with a hand wave. "Working on the house. You can help."
"Yeah, I think we're gonna be there for the invasion," she said dryly. One of the kids ran over to pounce her with a huge grin. "Hi. Nice pounce. Nearly as good as a baby slayer."
She laughed. "You silly. Lunchies us?"
"I can't cook. Ask the big brothers if they can make us all lunch." She ran over to pounce Xander, who went in to do that for them. The other kids squealed as they ran in, making Eggsy grunt as one hit him on the stomach. Faith helped him up, earning a grin. "Wanna help them do construction stuff?"
"Never done any," he admitted. The twins grinned at him. "I'm supposed ta be looking over what you got for the invasion."
"Naptime," Gray said. "That way the kids don't help and set something off again."
"Again?" Faith demanded.
Gray smirked at her. "Two of ours set off a small missile system and killed a few houses that were full of people who hated the baby slayer we were working with. It was like karma only with babies."
She shook her head with a sigh. "That's so weird, even for your kids." Gray laughed, getting up to go help Xander with lunch. She looked at Eggsy.
"I'm sure my sis could but she's a good girl."
"Good. The world could use some good girls."
Eggsy nodded. "She'll never follow my lead. Or our mum's since she's got crap taste in men."
"Sometimes they're the only ones that seem to care," Faith said. "Even if they do lead you to jail and the like."
Gray came out to hug her, kissing her on the head. "Did you ever talk to his lawyer?" he asked quietly. "There was stuff that needed to be claimed and might still be around. Giles said he was going to look into it just in case." He went back inside.
She shook her head. "The twins are always goofy."
Eggsy grinned. "I figured that out when they had me between 'em ta dance."
She shivered. "That's a dirty thought in the making. All sorts of dirty."
"Even with leather pants," Xander called.
She went to the bathroom to have a few alone minutes. Even if the kids would try to interrupt she needed a minute.
Eggsy tried not to blush but Merlin had taken photos from the video feed at the club. He had looked hot.
***
Faith snapped awake, looking around the room she was in. Clearly a hospital of some sort. She saw the nearest two beds had slayers on them. Then a male she didn't know. Then another three slayers, then one of the twins sitting against the wall scowling. She blinked at him. He waved and she relaxed. She sat up to look at him. "Why the scowl?"
"We got nagged about having kids. So we kindly shoved an old liner into the fight while he was standing around bitching. Pity. Giles is mad though."
"Fuck 'em. You're happy and the kids needed saved," she said. She looked around again. "Xander and Eggsy? Roxy? Grace? I know I saw her showing up."
"Grace got slightly cut by a claw. She got stitches and is with her mother at a hotel getting bitched at about her age."
"The others?"
"Roxy's in the next room up." He pointed. "Xander's up there doing some healing stuff that needed to be done. The nurses are triaging like mofos at the moment because while we won, another group took the opportunity to show up to take the fuck over." Faith winced, holding her stomach. "They didn't win. Merlin's guys got it. That's why a few of them are in here. They're mostly out of surgery."
"I went to surgery?"
"To fix the cut on your shoulder that nearly cut off your arm."
"The count?" she asked, looking at her shoulder.
"Two slayers in intensive care, one dead," he said quietly, getting up to come over. "A baby slayer's mom showed up to help and the baby slayer showed up with her. One of the cars that got crushed was theirs. That's why the mom tinkered something stronger and blew them up."
She grimaced but nodded. "That sucks."
"It does."
"The second battle?"
"Most of the slayers were too tired to attend. Six extra in intensive care." She winced but nodded once. "An extra funeral," he said quietly. "One of the younger in the coven." She slumped but nodded again. "Giles is up the hall in his own bed. Ranting at Buffy where she's still unconscious." He cleared his throat. "Eggsy's in the last bed," he said with a point. "Roxy's in the other room. She's awake and bitching. Eggsy's been kept down."
She nodded. "Thanks, boytoy. You good?"
"Just in a temper. There's politicians who complained we told them three weeks ago that it'd happen." They shared a look. "I told him I could always suggest the slayers could hand over local battles to the agents that all showed up. He had a fit. Gasping, heaving, throwing his bible around fit." He grinned. "Then Giles stepped up to tell him to shut up."
She laughed. "Good on both of you. They going to kick us out like we're Buffy?"
"Nah, only her." He grinned. "They said she can heal enough to walk on her own first in thanks for helping save London."
"Nice of 'em," she said dryly. "Anyone tell his mom and sister?"
"It was televised, Faith. I'm pretty sure she's heard since he's been in a few of the reruns and his phone went off non-stop for an hour until I told Merlin and he came in to answer it for him."
"He okay for reals?"
"Yeah. That crack on the head that gave him a concussion came with a slight poison so they're keeping him down while the anti-poison works." He patted her on the wrist. "I can hear the mean nurse. She's grumpy as hell."
"Great." He smiled, going back to his seat. The nurse huffed at him. Faith looked at the nurse. "We like him watching over us. All the slayers adore our knights, even if we don't appreciate them for reals." She shifted up better. "There, more comfy. How much longer am I in here for?"
"A few days at least, miss. Do you know your name?"
"Faith Lehane." She glanced at Gray, who shrugged.
She wrote that down. She looked up. "How long have you been in England?"
"Seven weeks. I was sent as the senior slayer to handle the clearing of the old Council building. Good thing too with how many demons we had."
The nurse grimaced. "They are not demons."
"They were demons, they just came from another realm," Faith shot back. "I'm a slayer, ma'am. I'm pretty sure I know what's a demon and what's not." The nurse glared at her. She stared back. "Boytoy?"
"If he moves from there I'm having him thrown out," the nurse said primly.
Gray smirked at her. "You try that. Watch me have something that removes the slayers from this facility."
"You are not their medical power of attorney," she sneered.
Gray snapped. "Yeah, that's wrong. Since I am." He smiled and called someone. "It's Gray. Come get the slayers. This nurse is trying to harm Faith." He listened. "Thanks. Please do. Yup." He hung up. "We're going to remove the slayers and certain agents from here."
She went to complain to the doctors. One came in. "Sir, are you their medical power of attorney?"
"Yes, I am."
"Yeah, he is," Faith said. "For all the slayers. He's our battle master with our twin and the senior trainers." The doctor grimaced at her. "Sorry but they are. He and his twin do look out for us. Even when we bitch about it, he's our big brother too."
"Is that legal?" the doctor demanded.
"Giles! Xander!" Gray called.
Giles limped in, staring at the doctor. "Problems, Doctor?"
"Who're you?" the nurse sneered.
"The head of the Council," Giles said, staring her down. He looked at Gray. "Problems?"
"The nurse was making notes about drugging Faith with psych drugs while sneering. I'm having all the girls removed in a bit along with certain agents we like and know."
"Officially?" Giles asked dryly.
Gray smiled. "Eventually."
"I'll gladly let someone like Merry whisk us all away," Xander said. He adjusted his eye patch. "Where's my original one?"
"It was in evidence," the nurse said. "You should go lay down."
He stared at her. "I've had nine concussions in my life, ma'am. I know what to do with one." He looked at Giles again. "When I stopped her from trying to nag Trishy, she tried to send me back to bed too."
"Who has legal representation for these young ladies?" the doctor demanded.
"The ones here are all adults so they do," Giles said. "With papers for any senior staff member who has to attend the emergency that put them in the hospital should they not be able to make their own choices."
"Delusional youth...." the doctor started.
Gray stood up, glaring at him. "I don't care if you don't like their calling but you're more than welcome to save your own ass next time. We don't need this after a battle. If you don't like it, we'll gladly move the girls."
"They're delusional!" the nurse shouted.
"Make me smack you," Gray warned. "You harm these young women and I will more than see your license yanked."
Eggsy sat up with a moan, holding his head. "That fucking sucks," he muttered. He looked over. "Faith, you good?"
"Not quite five-by-five but healing fast, like we all do. Lay back down."
Gray smiled at the official striding up the halls. "Hi."
"Boys. Mr. Giles. Problems?" Clearly he had woken up just in time for the argument of the moment. He had horrible timing today.
"These two decided that slayers are delusional," Gray said. "We're not going to expose the girls to this level of bullshit. We need to move them."
The official nodded. "Your contact called me to help, boys. We can gladly have them moved."
"Can those of us who have other places to heal go there?" Eggsy demanded.
"Of course, young man, and I've heard from your people. They're wondering where you are."
"So do I," he said dryly. "Anyone seen my phone?"
"Your higher up got it," Gray said. "He had to call your mother back. You got caught nicely on some reruns of the invasion."
"Greatness," Eggsy muttered. He sat up fully, holding his head. "Any reason beyond the concussion?"
"The anti-toxin is working," Gray said. He came over. "Go sit on Faith's bed?" He nodded, wandering over there. She moved her feet for him. "Roxy's in the other room," he said, looking at him. "Xander was watching over them."
"How are you not in a bed?" Faith asked.
Gray smiled. "I should be but I handled my own injuries and some of the others' injuries too. Long live being the field medic." She laughed, hugging him. "Let Xander go note the other girls? I know a few were agents." He looked at the official, who nodded, going with Xander. The doctor and nurse huffed off to put in complaints. Gray smiled. "You're safe. Relax," he said quietly. "Giles, you can have my chair. That way Buffy can't nag you."
"Thank you. She's gotten rather good at it." He sat down, rubbing his arm that was still cramping. Gray came over to check his stitches for him, putting clean bandages on. Faith's got checked next. Eggsy mostly had a few smaller cuts and the head injury. The official came through in about twenty minutes, getting all the slayers out of there to a special, quiet hospital. One that had a former reputation as a sanitarium in the old days but now it was for rich people having plastic surgery and the like. All the agents got moved as well by their people. That way they were protected.
Eggsy got led into the infirmary back at headquarters with Roxy leaning on his arm to hold each other up. They got put into their beds and collapsed, going back to sleep. When he woke up, his mother was beside his bed. "Mum. You okay?"
"I'm going to murder you," she said.
Eggsy smiled, taking Daisy from her to cuddle. It'd help Daisy calm down and keep his mother from smiting him like a slayer would when a boy pinched her in the shops. "I met some nice kids you'd like ta play with. There's seven of 'em and they're from your age up." His mother hit him. "Ow, Mum. Concussion!"
She huffed. "What were you doing there?"
"Helping, Mum. Before we all got eaten."
"Then what are you doing here?"
"They had ta take us from the hospital because they were going to put us on psych."
"I see." She moved closer to kiss him on the forehead. "Are you going to live?"
"Yup. Just be miserable for a few days thanks to the head." He looked at Daisy. "You good?" She smiled and patted him. "That's sweet, Daisy."
Faith wandered in, handing over a picture. "They wanted a post report and I'm the one moving most easily." She smiled. "Hi, Daisy." The baby smirked at her. She smiled at the mother, shaking her hand. "Hi, I'm Faith. I've been training with Eggsy for the last few weeks. He wanted some help with stuff."
"That's good to know. At least he had some training," she said, looking at her son, who shrugged but grinned his good boy grin.
Faith smiled. "Eggsy's a great guy. If I had a brother I'd want him. He doesn't nag like the big brothers to the slayers." She rolled her eyes.
"They nagging?" Eggsy asked.
"Not me." She smirked. "B got it for a few minutes. Tweedy got it a few times. The younger girls who jumped in? Yup. The pregnant one? Oh hell yeah."
"Good!" Eggsy said. "She should've known better!"
She shook her head. "We know the risks."
"So? She's still stuffed up. Gotta take care of the little fish in there."
"She tried. Only got a few cuts. Better than B did." She smiled at the nurse coming in. "I'm in for a debrief so you don't have to do that for me."
The nurse smiled. "I don't blame you for running away, dear. The twins do nag quite a lot and the male version does it even worse." She smiled at Eggsy. "Meds for the headache?"
"Please," he begged, taking the pills. "Thanks. Anyone need ta see me?"
"Not at the moment. They'll come talk to you later, once your mother's calmed down." She smiled at the mother. "He's been a good patient so far. Mostly asleep but a good boy." She smiled at the baby, handing her the baby safe lolli. "There, you need that." She left, going to make notes. She leaned in a minute later. "Slayer Faith, they're waiting on you."
"Yup, sure. I can hobble that way." She patted Daisy on the head. "Be a good girl."
"JB?" she demanded, looking at him.
"With Roxy's dog, yeah?" he said with a grin. "We'll see if we can get 'em in a few minutes." The nurse let the dogs in when Faith told her the baby was looking for them. His mother huffed but put JB on the bed since the pug couldn't jump like the poodle. Daisy cooed at the dogs, petting them.
His mother huffed but checked him over until the nurse made them go away for a few hours. Then they went to wander this charming recovery estate hospital.
Eggsy looked at the nurse. "What is this place?" he asked with a grin. "Besides work she don't know about?"
"An estate that got turned into a recovery hospital," the nurse said, petting the dogs. "Lancelot's up the hallway. Her mother called but didn't show up. You're going to be all right. Just the concussion. The poison's all gone. The limp's mostly gone." She patted him on the shoulder. "Lancelot's fine as well. Mostly limping from the stitches on her leg and hip. You can commiserate later, once your mother's gone." She left him with the dogs.
He looked, petting JB, his dog. Roxy's dog curled up to sleep on his feet. "We can go for a walk later." JB curled up on his stomach, getting petted all he wanted.
Harry knocked then walked in. "Well, that was strenuous."
Eggsy smiled. "Got my mother in?"
"No. I sent Merlin. She'd remember me." He looked at him. "Are you well?"
"Concussion. Mum only swatted a tiny bit." He grinned. "You? I remember you being out there too."
"Few stitches. I wasn't near the front lines, I was protecting the back lines with the artillery." He petted both dogs. "Roxy's being kept napping at her insistence so the stitches heal faster." He smiled. "Dinner once you're out?"
"If I can sneak away from Daisy and Mum?"
"Of course."
"Then I'd like that." He grinned back.
"Good. Then it's settled. I'll come pick you up for dinner." He left, going up to his office. Faith was debriefing with someone over video conference.
Eggsy settled in, getting comfortable. His mother and sister would be back soon. She was stubborn that way. Daisy had inherited all her mother's stubbornness and then learned more from him. She'd demand to come back soon.
***
The twins made it out of the hospital and back home, finding a pacing mother. "We've been adding on rooms," Gray asked, making her stare at them. "We're okay."
"I'd hope so!" she said. "Get in here, boys. And where are my grandchildren?"
"With one of the coven." He called and they got sent back with a twinkle of magic. They had cookies in each hand, messy mouths like they had been eating chocolate, and were nearly bouncing. Xander looked up. "That's evil since we're still limping!" he yelled. "I'm going to tell that one demon that wants to woo one of you where your are." The diaper bags showed up next. He shook his head, smiling at his mother. "The rooms aren't nearly done yet."
"We can have them finished, boys." She hugged them both and then checked the kids. "You seven have had a lot of candy it appears." They grinned at grandma and cuddled up to her demanding grandpa and stories. "He'll be here later, children. Want to go play?" They ran outside with squeals of joy. She smiled. "It's good they're happy."
"It's the chocolate," Xander said, following them. "No, don't dunk your cookies in the mud. Then you can't eat the cookies. It's mean to them to make them take a bath." They quit trying to figure out how to do that and settled in to eat them while they ran after each other.
Gray smiled at his mother. "Did you tie Phil up again?"
"No, dear. He's with the nice Merlin boy making sure the clean up's all done. They had to talk." She led him out back, him letting her have the chair. "This is sweet."
"Very," Xander agreed, smiling at her. "I said no mud. That's not good cookies." He got up to take them from the kids. "They're all muddy and you don't eat mud. You're not pigs." He threw them out, no matter how much they whined.
"Then don't put them in mud," Gray ordered, taking another one that was muddy. "No mud. You can't eat mud. Peoples don't eat mud."
"Puppies?" she asked, eyes wide.
"Piggies eat mud. Puppies eat puppy food." She huffed but got up to charm her grandmother into making more cookies. The other kids came to do the same thing. When Grandpa and Uncle Phil got there, they got pounced for cuddles too. They were great and could do things like make cookies.
Xander and Gray shared a look. "Pretty soon we'll have to go back to traveling," Xander said.
"I doubt it," Phil ordered. "The African slayers got nationalized by the newly made African Defense group. It's a joint military and slayer defense group. The baby slayers are all safely watched over and in training with soldiers who have gotten training from you guys too." The twins stared at him. "Fury suggested it to the Arab nations and they agreed it was a great idea. The African ones heard and got together to talk. Most of them agreed with it and offered staff. The few that didn't they'll go help if they ask." He stared at them. "So you'll be training the baby European slayers from what Mr. Giles said earlier. He'll be up here tomorrow. He'll expect you guys to train them here probably."
"We can put up slayer rooms too," Xander said dryly.
"Or have a few kids share," Gray agreed. "We can probably do bunk beds to leave a spare room." The twins shared a look then shrugged at each other.
Phil had noticed the look was more than the twins coming to an agreement. It was something he'd have to look up later. There had been hints that the twins had emergency plans in case they had to leave the Council to protect themselves or the slayers. It was an interesting idea. "Also, Merlin and I talked, boys. He wants you two to include Galahad and Lancelot into your little circle of friends so they can use the intelligence contacts. Like the small circle he and I had of friends, who mostly have unfortunately passed out of the life one way or another. Also, he wanted to know if you could make him class Faith up so they quit going chav as he put it."
"Sure, we can introduce Eggsy to some of our friends," Xander said with a shrug, looking at his twin, who shrugged back. They grinned at Phil. "Not a problem, big brother."
"Thank you. Merlin and I are both getting older and slower. Some day soon we'll start to fantasize about retirement that probably won't come." His mother scowled at him. "It might not, Mother."
"Shut up, Philip. Of course you'll make it longer than I will." She patted him on the cheek then smiled at the boys. "Would that go along with the house that no one can find?" They smirked and nodded. "Where is that?"
"It's safe," Gray quipped. "Very safe. The only one that's seen it is Martin because his bit of craziness let him see through the blocking shield."
"Like on Hogwarts?" she demanded dryly.
"No," Xander said with a smile. "Totally technological. Like light bending camo."
"Only on a house," Gray agreed.
"We inherited it from our three-day wife," Xander added. "She just wanted some fun so her son poisoned her." Phil was staring at them oddly. They grinned. "It helped."
"Uh-huh. Is that where your supply drop is?" he asked. They smiled and nodded. "Then why are you here?"
"Here means that people can show up to visit. There they can't," Xander said.
"That way no one can be traced. Almost no electronics works there," Gray said.
Their mother smiled at them. "That's charming, boys, but I want to see it. So will your father. We didn't even find anything on that quick marriage."
"Not that sort of quickie marriage," Xander quipped. "We're still infertile."
"She just really wanted fun and to be a bad girl. Her daughter introduced us because she was MI-5. She was with her brother poisoning her; we were her method of getting rid of their mother."
"We haven't really killed anyone with sex yet," Xander agreed, looking at his twin.
"We didn't kill that one with sex when he captured us. I used a knife," Gray agreed, nodding some. "His people were amused and we took his shit as an inheritance since he had kidnaped us."
"That was not in your system's reports," Phil said dryly.
"No, it's not," the twins said with a smile for him. "Never will be."
"I don't blame you boys with the way the others nag you," their mother said. She smiled as Ivan came out of the house. "The boys were hiding a fallback, dear."
"Good. They could use it to hide from all those nagging girls." He looked at the boys. "You did very good during the battle, and even better getting the girls out of that hospital later, boys." They smiled. "Are they all fine?"
"Mostly. Some are still going home with hospital needs but they should heal," Xander said. "We've checked with all our girls in Africa and got pouted at."
Phil shook his head. "At least they'll be safer. The ones overseeing the slayers knows why it got changed. They're all people you trained." The twins stared at him. "They made sure the girls wouldn't be mistreated. So has Natasha. She showed up to act as Rupert's assistant during that meeting then told him why later when I told him it was a good idea."
"Are you still hiding from them?" Xander asked.
Phil smiled and nodded. "Yes, I am. They've already corrected my lack of telling them within a month. I have many more months to pay for," he said dryly.
"Don't remind me I wanted to spank you, son," Victoria said. She looked inside, frowning some. "They're napping?"
"They're down from the sugar high," Gray said, looking inside. The kids were curled up on the rug in a pile. "They're fine. They can sleep through anything."
"It won't hurt them to curl up together. If one has a problem they'll come tell us. Or diapers for the little ones." He looked at his twin. "Potty training soon?"
"Within the next year," Gray said, considering it. "We did fantastic getting the older four done before they turned two because the original idiots had been working on it."
"Them being trained will save us a ton of money and some time," Xander said. Gray nodded quickly. "Are we switching so I get the older four and you get the babies?"
Gray stared at him. "They hate me."
"They do not."
"They do. They never play with me. I'm a napping target, not a play toy."
"They'll figure out you can play soon enough," their mother said. One kid got up and came out to climb up Phil until he cuddled her. She smiled at her older son. "You do look good with them."
"Thanks, Mom. I'm still not seeing anyone."
"Perhaps it's time you do, son," Ivan said with a smile for him. "The twins may not get to settle down for years yet."
"If we survive," Xander reminded him. "Remember, we go into huge battles with swords and axes." His parents stared at him. He stared back. "This time wasn't even close but there have been close calls."
"Including Willow nearly killing us," Gray agreed with a nod. "Thankfully she's now neutered."
"How?" Phil asked.
"Dawn." He grinned. "Magic and Dawn."
"I wanted to know more about how."
The twins shrugged. "Willow won't let us learn anything about magic because it's what made her be special," Xander said. "We couldn't even look at protection runes without her throwing a fit."
"She did the same thing with computers," Gray said. "It's why most of us don't use them."
"I can find you and Dawn both systems to teach you better computer skills," Phil said. "It could come in handy so perhaps you could update the older programs the Council uses so you can update to a better operating system."
"Giles would never agree to that," Gray said. "He barely acknowledges computers at times."
"I remember him being like that in college when we met on a beach," Phil said.
"You did?" Ivan demanded, looking at his son. Phil smiled and nodded. "Really?"
"He was in his undergrad on spring break. I was off my first term of specialist training in the military. We met up on a beach, had a fling. The next year, he had a fling with Merlin."
"He used to flirt with me," Victoria said, smiling at Ivan. "It did make you green sometimes, dear."
"Yes, he did. Did he know who you were?" he asked Phil. His son shook his head. "Good!"
"I embarrassed him a lot when I showed up to talk about that cult," Phil said. "Buffy had an 'eww' fit about us having been young men."
"She hates to hear about anyone having sex but her," Xander said with a shrug. "Including us."
"Faith complains about that sometimes," Gray added.
Ivan shook his head. "Faith is a darling girl but could use a steadying hand."
"She's calmed down a lot," Xander told him. "She came out of a lot of problems and made herself into an excellent young woman. She's a bit wild but she believes in work hard, play hard."
"Many agents do," Phil agreed. "She's not any more wild than a younger agent. Unfortunately she's been doing this for longer than agents do because she had to start sooner." He looked inside at the sniffle. "We're out here." Toby ran out to cuddle Xander.
"What's wrong?" Xander asked. Toby pouted up at him. "What's wrong? Bad dream?"
"Eggsy," he sniffled. "Bad guy Eggsy."
"A bad guy's going to get Eggsy?" Gray asked, pulling him over. Toby nodded, staring at him. "We'll let him know so he can be careful. Did you see Auntie Faith or anyone else?"
"Unca Merlin."
"Okay, I'll warn them." He cuddled him, looking at Xander. "It looks like they did wake up visions for him. This is the third one."
"I hate that for him. Visions suck." He took the baby back. "Tell me what the bad guy was doing? Or was Eggsy in a suit or in his hat?"
"Hatty." He stared at him. "At store with clothes. Bad guy comes in."
"Okay, we'll let them know," Gray assured him. He called Merlin. "It's us and Toby's newly awakened vision gift said that you and Eggsy were going to be hurt by a bad guy in a clothes store." He listened. "Toby, did it have suits or was it like where we take you to shop for clothes? Did it had suits like Uncle Rupert's?"
Toby nodded. "Many."
"Can you tell us what the bad guy looked like?" Gray asked. He let Merlin hear as Toby babbled about the bad guy with the scary scars and big, huge gun that sounded like a rifle. "Good job. We'll make sure it doesn't happen. Okay?" Toby nodded, going to hug Grandma. She made things better. Gray listened to Merlin wonder. "We know Xander has them and they're a gift from some higher being. His was woken by the rebalancing of his powers after his eye got popped. Toby's apparently woke up already in dream form." He nodded. "Sounded like it. Just be careful. Oh, and Phil found out about our fallback?" He smirked. "Exactly. You wanted us to introduce them to which friends of ours? Sure, we can do that. See him and you in a few days." He hung up. "He'll be very careful when he's in the shop, Toby. He said thank you and it was a good boy to tell him." Toby grinned, cuddling Grandma better.
"I hope he never gets mine," Xander sighed. "I hate the headaches."
Ivan looked at him but Phil said it. "You have awake visions?"
"Yeah. Full movie in my head that gives me brain ripping headaches. Which nothing works on." He looked at his twin. "If I only wrote them down but didn't tell anyone, do you think they'd quit sending them?"
"I have no idea," he said. "They might switch them to me instead. I'd do that for you."
Xander shook his head. "None of us need that sort of headache and one of us has to be able to drive when they happen."
"Should you be driving with them?" Phil asked.
"No," Xander said. "Or with the eye thing. Oh well."
Phil nodded. "Maybe there's another way then? Since you won't be traveling all over Africa for a while."
"We can go together," Gray agreed. "We need a regular car though. Most minivans only seat seven."
"They make modified vans," Phil said. "We can look into them for you guys." He looked at his parents.
"Many good firms are cheaper over here than they are in the US," Ivan said. "I can look some up." The twins grinned at him. "What of this fallback? Is it larger?" They nodded. "Do phones work there?"
"Only if we've specially shielded them," Xander said.
"It will set off lifesign monitors though," Gray said, looking at Phil. "Totally ruined one of our contact's and he had to spend months telling people he was alive."
"I can warn for that if you wanted to move there now so they can finish the rooms faster." He smiled at Toby, who was sleeping. "You make a good grandmother, Mom."
"Thank you, Philip. Now if only I had some from you?"
"I'm still not dating. I'm more likely to be asked to be a sperm donor."
"If you're open to that, I know a few who might not mind," his phone said in Merlin's voice. "Tell Toby I said thank you. That bad guy he told us about was one that's been going around robbing stores. We caught him about to rob the tea shop up the street and turned him in."
"He's napping on Grandma's shoulder," Phil said. "But it's good he could help."
"He was great help. Let us know if he has more. Should I send the chav twins up there?"
"We're talking about moving to the fallback," Phil said. "So the workers can finish the new rooms."
"We were doing most of it ourselves, but taught Eggsy how to build stuff," Xander said dryly. "No workers. We don't make that sort of money."
Their parents looked at them. "You do have the funds to do that, boys," Ivan said. "We know about that hidden fund."
The twins shook their heads. "What hidden fund?" Gray asked.
Phil's phone snorted. "The one Greene left you to take care of the kids, boys."
"Why didn't we know about that?" Xander demanded. "We would've ditched one of the campers to get one that didn't have problems."
"I'll have Eggsy and Roxy bring up the full file on all that stuff since no one told you," Merlin said. "Go to the fallback. I'll send them up tomorrow." The twins huffed. "Think about the kiddies on the huge lawn. They'll be spastic."
"Probably, but we probably need to mow," Gray said.
"Even more fun for the kids," Ivan said. "They'll love finding frogs and such." He smiled. "We can travel up in the campers."
"The kids are used to hanging out together while we drive," Xander said with a shrug. He looked inside then sighed. "We need to pack up the food." They did that and loaded everything back into the campers. Ivan drove his car while their mother and Phil rode in the campers with the kids to amuse them. They were watching all the trees and playing with each other while the big brothers drove.
***
Eggsy stopped the car, looking at the simple gate that seemed to lead to an overgrown field. He looked at Roxy and Faith, who was in the back, then put the pass Merlin had given him into the pass reader. The gate opened while a slip of paper printed out. He read it, following the directions on it. He misjudged the last by a few feet so he ran into another plinth but gently enough not to damage anything or set off the airbags. He backed up and took the turn the slip said, pulling in underneath a low hanging branch of trees. Suddenly there was a large house. He stopped the car, staring at it. "Magic?" he guessed.
Roxy looked and pointed. "Projector."
Eggsy sighed, parking and getting out. "Think it's Merlin's long lost sister, yeah?"
"No," Roxy said. "He was smiling like it was the kiddies."
"He does like the kids," Faith said, getting out and closing her door. She looked around, spotting a few things. "The house is still partially hidden. Is this like an estate house?"
Roxy leaned over to look out the side, shrugging. "Most of them are stone instead of wooden German houses." She walked up to the door, knocking. Sure enough, a kid ran out to pounce Eggsy and the others followed to pounce Faith. "See." She smiled, leaning inside. "Oh, hello. Are you watching the kids? They do love Eggsy."
"Yes, dear, my grandchildren have adored him since he met them." She smiled. "Come inside, boys and ladies." She took the pass from Eggsy's hand, looking at it. "I have to copy it. There's only a few of these and we'll need one to come visit." She smiled, patting Faith's cheek. "Welcome, dear. I'm the twins' mother. Victoria Winslow."
"Faith," she said, shaking her hand. "I had no idea the twins had class."
"They've inherited some but haven't polished it yet." She winked at the two spies, taking them inside. "Children, Gray's cooking stew. He's got vegetables." They ran that way, one trying to tug Eggsy. "I'll bring him. You run ahead." She nodded, running off before all the veggies were eaten. She smiled. "This is the twins' fallback spot to protect them and the children. We did so talk them into bringing us up." She led them back to the kitchen.
Ivan smiled, waving at them. "Welcome, children. Gray just went to take a call from Buffy. Phil's still being nagged by his higher ups." He watched his elder son walk past him, taking the phone. "Dear, do not nag my son. I will make sure he has to retire to raise some charming children, who will like us just as much as the twins' children do." He handed the phone back, making Victoria smile at him.
"No, Maria, I'm not seeing someone," Phil said as he walked off shaking his head. "My mother's vowed to introduce me to some nice spies who want to have children so I can donate to that cause." She choked and he winced. "No, my lifesign monitor going off is due to the protections around the twin's house. That's fine. Yes, I'm fine. I'm sure I'm fine, Maria. The twins would pull out artillery if I wasn't fine." He hung up on her groaning.
The twins came out of the office, pausing to hug Faith on their way out back. "Get away from the pool without adult help!" Xander yelled. "NOW!" The kids ran back inside to talk to Eggsy and Faith. Roxy just got petted a few times.
Eggsy smiled at them. "You should ask Roxy about her puppy. She's got a poodle." They gave her a wide eyed look of awe. She settled down with pictures of her puppy. They babbled at her about dogs.
Gray looked at them. "You're not getting a hellhound puppy. Sorry." They went back to the kitchen to work on that night's dinner. The kids followed, getting veggies they ran back to nibble with their favorite people.
Eggsy looked at the twins. "What's this place?"
"Hidden," they said together with a grin.
"Even from the Council," Xander added.
"But we got told to introduce you to some of our friends so they can tell you stuff we might need to hear," Gray said while stirring.
"Also it'll give you a place to hide from Harry," Xander said. "Since all electronics that aren't specially shielded have died." Roxy pulled out her cellphone. "Just recharge it once you're out of range, Roxy."
"Thanks." She looked at them. "Do phones work up here at all?"
"When we shield them," Xander agreed, smiling at her. "Which means only you guys and Merlin know it's here."
She nodded. "If I can show up when I need a rest, that'd be great."
"Clean up after yourself, don't go naked in the pool because we might show up suddenly," Gray said, turning to grin at her. "Unless you want to. We won't mind."
She blushed, shaking her head. "I'm not like that. Thanks anyway."
Eggsy shook his head but was smiling at Faith. "There was talk about getting you more proper clothes too. That way you don't have ta smack another bloke in the street again."
She shrugged. "I'm used to the ass lookers. They just can't touch. That suit stuff is uptight."
"Yeah but handy," Eggsy said. "Even if I still think I look like a dork. It's the uniform though."
"I'm not good on uniforms," Faith said.
"Did you hear that all the Arab and African slayers got united by their new defense groups?" Xander asked.
She snorted. "I heard and warned that the first time they went back to the old ways I'd be there with you to beat 'em to death."
"We have stuff here for that," Xander quipped, smirking at her.
"This is our drop for stuff we can't carry in the campers," Gray said.
Roxy stared at them. "You have more weapons?"
"Not like we can take on everything with a sword or axe," Xander quipped, smiling at her. "Even we need more than that."
"Can we see?" Faith asked.
"The kids will want to help pet them," Gray said, shaking his head. "Wait for after bedtime."
"Sure. I can be patient." She looked at the spies, including Phil, who were giving the twins odd looks. "We're used to the weird collections around the Council. It can't be as bad as Andrew's comic collection."
"That's worth some real money," Gray told her.
She nodded. "It's in a special vault at some sort of document storage company." They nodded. "It's worth that much?"
"Right now it's worth some, later on it'll be worth a lot more." Xander grinned. "I don't have that. Mine have been read and loved with fingerprints. Those are specially sealed."
Faith shook her head. "I don't know why."
"It's a geek thing and you've never been a geek," Xander quipped. "Oh, finished fixing your crossbow. It's in Gray's camper." She went to find the garage and her crossbow. She came back looking it over. "Not that one, Faith, your special one you favor."
"It's stuck to the seat. The glue dripped."
Xander went to get it, handing it over. "It was a protection so the kids couldn't play with it." She smiled, checking it over before hanging it off her belt. "C'mon, I'll show you guys to rooms for the night." He led them off. Their family followed to nose around. The kids ran in to help since their favorite people were going to play somewhere they weren't. Including the armory when Xander let them into the sword part.
Eggsy looked around then at them. "Guns, bruv?"
Xander grinned, pointing at the kids. "Later."
"Fine." They dropped stuff and went back down to the kitchen. The stew was done so they ate, got the kids up to their beds fairly easily since they were actually tired, and then went to the other armory. Eggsy looked. "They're not near each other?"
"That's the auxiliary sword storage," Xander said with a shrug. "For the extras that won't fit in the main vault and in case you're stuck in that part of the house." He opened the main door, which looked like a regular door with a passcard and fingerprint system. "Fingerprints only work with ours, and it does test for bloodflow and fake skins. Passcards would be for anyone else. They're in the office in the righthand desk drawer. It opens automatically when the security system goes off, otherwise it's locked to our fingerprints." His mother nodded, smiling at him for that precaution. They walked into the main vault, staring around. Eggsy looked at the racks of handguns, petting one. Faith petted the knives across the way. "Bullets," Xander said with a point.
"That's sweet," Eggsy said, looking in there. "One's got an expiration date?"
"Yeah. We're replacing them tomorrow." They walked into the other room, and Ivan moaned, making his wife grip his arm as she got happy too. Xander looked in there and grinned at them. "Won it mostly. Some are from dates."
Ivan looked at his son. "Is this all of them?"
"No." He smiled. "But we gotta have some pets." He let them look around while he checked the inventory on the tablet in there.
Faith leaned on his arm to look over his shoulder. "Wow."
"Yeah. For the girls." He grinned at her. "Because you need it sometimes."
She nodded. "Definitely. Why didn't this show up in London?"
"It did. Three-quarters of the artillery we used was from here."
"Wow." She went to look, petting a few things. Eggsy smiled at her nearly posing on top of something while she petted it. Roxy was shivering in pleasure as she petted things. Eggsy kept his horny, young guy thoughts out of it. Though it was sweet that Victoria nearly pounced Ivan in there on top of the sniper rifles. He nudged Faith and nodded. She poked Roxy to follow them to give the elder couple some time. Phil was blushing but in the handgun area.
Eggsy looked at Xander. "Where's the rest?"
Xander grinned. "What rest?"
"Uh-huh. Can I tell Merlin?"
"Only if he's going to volunteer some gear for it. If so, we might cuddle him for it but I doubt he's into us so we couldn't make out for the new gear."
Eggsy shook his head. "I don't think so either. I think he's got someone but not sure who." He went to look around the rest of the area. He found another locked door but that was the office from what he'd seen outside earlier. He kept exploring, running into Roxy later that night in the attic. They went downstairs together, finding the fun room. It had a pool table, a small collection of beers, and a huge tv with movies. She looked into a room and blushed so he glanced in. It was obviously set up to have slightly kinky sex in since there were handcuffs. They ran into Phil in the kitchen. "Sexy room downstairs."
"I'm pretty sure that's a captive's room, not for kinky things," Phil said dryly, smiling at the young ones. "The twins hate handcuffs and they mentioned keeping a date in there for his own good for a week." He finished pouring coffee for himself. "I put on hot water too." Roxy made herself tea. Eggsy was shaking his head but smiling. "Did you find the other armory?"
"Not yet," he admitted. "You think it's under the pool or someat?"
"Could be knowing those two." He sipped his coffee, smiling at his father when he wandered in. "Did you two find the other armory?"
"No, but we were not looking for them. Your mother was looking over the nursery. There's a closet in there that's locked so probably to defend them." He got his own tea, smiling at the two young ones. "We would hope that you two form the same sort of group that Philip and your Merlin has. Sometimes that's the best way of surviving. It's helped our group immensely." He walked off, letting his beloved steal his tea. He had made it for her anyway.
Phil smiled. "Their group of friends is very badass. I hope I can be that badass when I'm a decade older, much less at their age." He walked off happier.
Roxy and Eggsy shared a look then nodded. "It could be helpful," she decided.
"As long as they don't expect me to give it up for 'em like Merlin, Phil, and that Giles guy did."
She shivered. "Together?"
"Separately on spring breaks," he said with a smirk.
She walked off thinking dirty thoughts about that. It was a happy making thought.
Eggsy went outside to look in the pool in case he could find the hidden door out there. He found something around the stairs but that could be a switch to make it a ramp instead. He'd check that out during his laps in the morning. The twins wouldn't mind.
The twins really were the best buds a young spy could have. Even if someone would expect him to give up dick to them some day.
The End.
Big Brothers Unite. Or At Least Find Some Sanity and Friends.