When Family Finds You.
Frank Castle, the Punisher, slowly made his way into the warehouse that was converted into a housing unit. He was here for a very bad reason, and was about to make a mess. At least until he felt the familiar feel of a gun barrel against the back of his neck. "That won't stop me from taking you out. I hate people traffickers, especially ones who do kids," he sneered. He knew this couple a bit, but he had been wrong about them apparently.
Xander walked around him. "We're adoptive parents, asshole. Not people traffickers." He stared at him. "We found the kids being made by HYDRA. We saved them from the idiot assholes in this world but their parents don't want to believe. Did you want us to put them into social services?"
Castle blinked. "Like fuck that happens outside stories!"
Xander whistled. Darcy came over with a fussy kid, handing him to Xander. Then she pulled out her phone to show him the video she had taken. "Where I found the kids and found Xander coming because they had just taken one of his baby slayers." She let him have the phone to watch that video. "I'd never hurt a kid. I've tazed people who hurt their kids in stores, but I'd *never* hurt a kid. You've known me for two years now and you think I could do that?" she demanded.
He stared at her. "Sometimes people prove you wrong about what you thought about 'em."
"Well, I'm not Billy," she said sarcastically. "Do I look like a pretty boy?"
"No." He went back to watching and grimaced. "Oh, shit."
"I wrote Stark, he claims he doesn't know who I am and I got a 'don't contact us again' letter from Pepper." She grimaced. "It was us raising them, or me when he's out doing his duty, or them going into foster care with who knows what agents showing up to harass them. Which did you want me to do?"
He groaned. "Okay." He handed the phone back. "So we're just taking them?"
"I did ask for a single agent I kind of trust to help us. Xander asked a few of his contacts to help us get them back here. They were highly amused. But another agent heard about one and came to try to snatch the kid to get a future Stark."
Castle winced. "That could be horrible."
"Ya think?" Xander asked dryly. The kid threw up on him. "Okay, that's day two of that, Brad. What's going on with your tummy? Let's go clean that up. It's gross to sit in." He carried the toddler off to clean them both up.
"If you're not being an asswipe you can come in and meet the kids. Though I'd expect you to protect them if someone else tries," he said, giving him a harsh look. "I'm not often here right now. I'm busy helping save the damn world I don't care about continuing." He went into the bathroom to get them both into a shower.
Darcy nodded. "He's got battle burnout and the bitchy ones are nagging about him splitting his time. They think he found a girl who was pregnant and is dating her once she had the kid."
Frank rolled his eyes. "I've met some of the slayers. They're dumb. Very dumb."
"Sometimes that's an act but not with all of them." She led the way back to the main area. "Everyone's napping. You can come in. Only Brad will throw up on you."
"Is it the flu?"
"I hope not." She grimaced. "That's going to suck it if is." She checked a few kids' foreheads. "No fevers." She flopped down with a sigh, sipping her beer. "Sorry, my one a night so I can get to sleep."
"I figured you'd drink girly drinks."
"Girly drinks are expensive. Diapers are more important right now." She sighed, looking at the one kid that was seriously crapping. "Of course you're proving me right because I mentioned that." She got up to change them and then brought him back to nap on his sleeping bag. "We're setting them up somewhere more permanent in a week." Frank sat down.
"You might want to hide the guns, Castle. Xander's taught the kids to coo at weapons." She took another sip, taking Brad when he came out. "Do you feel better yet?" He snuggled in, still making tiny whining noises. She got him some water in a bottle to sip. It made him feel better. "We've got take you to the baby doctor but that takes paperwork." She patted him on the back.
"Will their parents someday consider you kidnapers?" Frank asked.
She stared at him. "We cataloged each thing we did. Including any letters and information sent. If they try, they're fucked up."
Xander came out toweling off his hair. "They may try, but they're still fucked up. As for him going to a baby doc, take him to the healers? I'm sure by now they've mostly heard."
"I can do that tomorrow but that'll be expensive."
"That's fine. I'm still working. You're working on your science stuff." She nodded at that. "I can go handle a few contacts that're problems soon."
"One of them was the one who told me about the kids," Frank said. "Heiners."
Xander nodded. "He's a dead fuck. I've had enough of him and hey, instant diaper fund." Darcy giggled. "I've had enough of that problem too." He walked off to get something to drink. "Want a beer?"
"Please." He settled in, looking at the four other kids. "So five kids?"
"No, she's under the couch again," Darcy said dryly. "She likes to hide in a cave. Not sure why but she likes dark and cave-like." She put Brad down with his bottle. He snuggled in and went back to sleep. She finished her beer, taking the glass of water from Xander as he walked past and handed Castle the beer. Then he sat on Darcy's other side. "So, now that you know we're not evil shits of the universe," she said dryly.
"You're safe from me and I'll spread back that one was wrong."
Xander grinned. "I won't need the help." He got up to get dressed, walking out humming.
"I hate him in that mood," Darcy muttered, shaking her head. "I'll have to help him bandage things later." Frank started to stand up. "He won't let you help any more than he'd let me help, Castle. If he wants help he asks. I made that point the first time."
He nodded once. "Can I help?"
"If you want to show up and cuddle for me, that's not a bad thing. I trust you not to hurt the kids." She looked around at the fussing then under the couch. "You could come out. We wouldn't mind looking at you," she said with a smile. "C'mon. Come get cuddles, Sylvia."
She crawled out and got picked up to cuddle. "Such a nice girl." She kissed her on the head. "A good girl to come out." She snuggled in. "Did you have nightmares again?" She got a baby huff. "I know but you're special." She looked at him. "She's actually a deaged Asgardian from another realm. HYDRA was stupid to pull her by accident."
Castle shook his head quickly. "Why?"
"They're stupid?"
"Point. HYDRA is stupid." He finished his beer and watched the other kids. "Only two girls?"
"As far as we could tell. Sophra has the units with any remaining samples. Xander and I agreed with her that they probably wouldn't be used with her but they could help her own research by letting her use the freezer units." He grimaced. "I'm not a person who knows how to handle that stuff. Not like I'd let an agent do it. I know damn well I can't trust SHIELD or anyone else."
"True. I have no idea who I'd trust if I ran into them."
"I asked one. One I knew was trustworthy. One who was Avengers adjacent. Wilson's not that bad. He shows up now and then to play." She grinned a bit. "Being a mom is a lot harder than I thought."
"It's easier when it's from the first day I guess. I was deployed through a lot of mine." She handed him Sylvia, who blinked up at him and grinned, cuddling in. "Sure, you cuddle, sweetness." It hurt but it was good for him. He could relax at the moment. Even if the kid was trying to steal a knife. "No, you don't need my K-Bar." He put it back and strapped the knife down. She pouted at him but he cuddled instead. She finally went back to sleep so Darcy put her on the spare sleeping bag. "What are your plans for now?"
"Another week then we've got a permanent house. We move them all, we set up things, we raise them with love and when they're old enough we tell them the truth about all that stuff and their parents being shitty."
"I'd probably not believe either."
"We sent DNA tests, Castle." She looked at him. "Full DNA workups for proof. Plus the files from that base. All they had to do was read them." She shrugged. "So yeah, feeling shitty about them." Someone broke in and Frank got up to handle it. "Oh, hell. Not again." She hit a button on the wall and made the guy scream. The kids woke up and clapped. Darcy got them into the safe room again.
Frank looked at the guy. "Who the fuck are you?"
"Who're you?" he demanded.
"Castle."
The guy blinked and shrank away from him. "Xander stole the kids from HYDRA. There's a bounty! I just need the bounty, man!"
Castle sneered. "Really?" The guy whined. Then he died. Castle looked. "Did you will yourself to death?"
"Tiny laser system," Darcy called from the safe area.
"Huh. Neat." He walked off to check around the warehouse then came back inside. "It's safe, kid."
She leaned out. "I'm not that young, Castle!"
He grinned. "You're like twenty-five and happy, Lewis."
"I'm twenty-eight and happy and tired and emo and really hating battles." He nodded he understood that. "The kids may save my sanity or they may finish sending it over the edge. I can't *wait* for potty training." She went back to changing diapers.
He came in to help her. He'd changed a few in his life. When Xander came back beaten up he was happy and whistling again. Darcy was asleep surrounded by the kids. Frank was waiting on him. Xander paused then grinned and took a picture. Then looked at him. "You had a visitor," he said quietly.
"I saw on the security system. That's why I set off the laser." He went to the bathroom and came out dabbing at a cut on his side. "Heiners is down for good. The agents trying to get him are just as sorry since they were dirty to Petrie. Who sends his love and a cheek kiss for some reason. Usually I only get a slap on the ass and him calling me pretty but a problem he has to solve before the world ends." He went to the kitchen. "We all good?"
"So far. Are you?"
"I'm fine."
Castle looked at him. "I can see all the blood showing fine."
Xander came out to stare at him. "Not the first time. I've been covered in it in the past, the same as you have. Most of this isn't mine and I'm going to wash it off in a minute. Once I get a drink." He went to do that then use the bathroom. "I took over Holly's former house for us all."
"She's down?"
"She volunteered it."
"Why?"
Xander came out with a grin. "There were six embryos with her name on them." Castle shuddered. "She took the info we had and went to have some fun. It let her free her sister, her mother, and two refugee camps." He smirked. "She was very happy to do that for me and let me have the house here since she's not coming back to the US." He went to shower again.
Castle nodded. "I get that. It's a good service to trade." He picked up a kid wiggling around, calming him down. He sighed and blinked then went back to sleep. "It's okay, kiddo. I'm not a dangerous stranger to kids." He kissed him on the head once he was fully down again and put him back onto the sleeping bag. Darcy had started to wake up but fell back asleep when she felt the kid come back. Xander came out in just a towel. "Can you handle this?"
"It'd be easier with another adult. Especially when I'm off doing my stuff with the girls. I'm only here half the time right now and battles show up out of nowhere sometimes." He flopped down, staring at them. "They're sweeter than my mini slayers are. My hellions would torture them for fun."
Castle nodded once. "I've seen kids that mean."
"The slayer spirit prompts it." He yawned. "You gonna stay for a bit?"
"I can sit watch for a few hours. No one but the dog is expecting me back for a few hours."
"You can bring the dog but I doubt you'd get to leave with it. The kids love pets."
Frank rolled his eyes. "All kids love animals. Curl up with her and sleep." Xander wiggled in underneath a few of the kids and fell asleep within minutes. Castle was doing some checking online about all this. There were conspiracy theories out there about the kids. Including another group of them.
That was bad news. He winced at that because he didn't think Xander could go rescue those sort so he'd need help. Which Frank could do. He'd hate to leave kids in bad hands who'd hurt them like HYDRA would. No, those ones were in agent hands but still not good agent's hands. Those poor kids. He pointed a contact toward them to see if they could be saved from all that. No kid deserved that.
He got found by a hacker, who he knew of. She was wanted right now. He pointed her at that same area and said it was probably right since there had been other kids. She thanked him and said to tell Xander to lay lower, he had created too big of a mess. He nodded once and agreed. She left it there. Darcy blinked at him. "Quake said hello."
"Shit."
"She's looking at the kids the agents have."
"Oh, dear. That poor girl. Going against the CIA." She yawned. "I'm up."
"I've got hours. Sleep, Lewis." She slumped but snuggled into Xander's chest and fell asleep again. Frank shook his head, going back to looking up problems for this little family. He felt protective over this whole group of kids and 'parents' for some reason. Though he still considered Darcy and Xander kids, just older ones. He had never been as young as Lewis seemed.
***
Sam Wilson broke into the apartment and the guy on the floor blinked at him. "I need help but it's dirtier than usual," he said quietly. "HYDRA was making kids."
Bucky stood up and grabbed his pants. "They still have 'em?"
"CIA has 'em somewhere."
Bucky blinked then stared at him. "Are they okay?"
"Probably not for long. I need to get them to somewhere safer. I need your contacts to help with that plan first. And I gotta talk to Lewis."
"That lab assistant lady?" Bucky asked, looking confused. "Why?"
"Well, she's a hacker. She's also got her doctorate now." Bucky nodded at that. "She's dating Harris, that Council guy." That got a second nod. "They took in a group of kids they found in a lab just like the ones we've gotta free." Bucky stared at him. "They're safe. They basically tried to tell the parents and when that didn't work they adopted. They're safer."
"Harris does nutty things. We got briefed on him."
Sam grinned. "He sure does. With a bunch of girls who nag him for being a guy." Bucky groaned but pulled on a shirt. "They've got six kids they're raising."
"They?"
"Him and Lewis."
"Oh. Okay. So the others?"
"CIA."
"Can we get them to safety?"
"Can we get agents to believe where they came from and not do the same thing?" Sam asked.
"They won't let me ask for favors, Sam," he said quietly.
"Not going to. They're not their kids. Though, one is their kid." He smirked. "We can tell them later. Right now, we need a grandmother."
"My sister?" he guessed with a wince.
"Is where we're staring." He walked out with Bucky following him. He could go to Bucky's sister himself but this way she got to beat Bucky for a few minutes instead of swearing at him for finding kids being kept like warrior slaves in training. Then he had a thought. He had a bad thought. It was a good thought but a bad idea. He called someone. "Call the redhead that's newly revived," he ordered quietly then hung up.
"Tell me yourself," a female said, coming closer.
"Not you, Belova."
"Why not?" she asked with a smile.
"Because your new bosses made them. I want these kids safe from all that." He stared at her. "Natasha had contacts to do that."
"True. I have a few I can ask."
"She has better who won't use the kids the way you were."
Yelena nodded. "You have my help to get them free because that's wrong of anyone to do. Though I've heard of more than one."
"The ones I know of are safely guarded by *good* people. Tough people but good people. The ones I'm looking to save are being raised by agents."
"Harris is not an agent."
"No but he's tough and good. He's safe for them."
She nodded. "I can see that point. They will care for them?"
"Of course! We've all seen him helping the girls he's helping train. He keeps them children. He keeps them happy."
"I appreciate that though I feel sorry for their destined state." She grimaced. "Fine, we will go save those children."
"I need to set up where to send 'em first," Sam told her. "Bucky's going to talk to his sister."
"She's old but a grandmother. I'm told Grandmothers are good." Bucky nodded. "Fine, then we will go rescue the ones I've had the girls rescuing today?"
"Did you get all eight?"
"Seven. One's disappeared to a parent as far as we can tell. They came in after us and claimed that one."
"Barton?" he guessed. She grimaced. "He was not why she died. He tried to die and save her," Sam said quietly, moving closer. "He wanted her to live, Yelena."
"I will talk to him about that later."
"Fine. Can you get Natasha to help us find them homes?"
"She is *furious* they did this. She told us and led the way in." She smiled. "We will gladly help the children not turn into us. Come." They followed her back to their base camp to check on the kids and Natasha, who was soothing one crying one. "Is she sick?" Yelena asked.
Sam took her to look at. "Nightmare?" The girl nodded so he cuddled. "My nephews had some." He looked at Natasha. "I asked Lewis to call you."
"Is that what she's hiding?"
"Six others. One's a deaged Asgardian."
Natasha Romanoff blinked a few times. "Why?"
"She and Harris are protecting them."
"He can probably do that, yes." She considered it. "Did she try to tell the parents?"
"Did you not hear Stark?" he asked dryly.
"Oh, that's why." She nodded. "We can arrange that. Are any Bartons?"
"I don't know," Sam admitted. "I didn't look at it. Ask her?"
"I can do that." She took the kid back to put down. "You rest." She stood up. "Most of my contacts are not safe for children."
"I'm going to Bucky's sister to see if her grandmother posse can help."
Natasha smiled. "Grandmothers are wonderful resources sometimes." She looked at Bucky, who nodded back. "I will talk to Lewis myself in the morning."
Sam grinned. "Welcome to the conspiracy."
She smirked back. "It's a good thing to be part of this time." She went to check on the kids. The younger Widows were confused by children, of course, and worried they might hurt them by accident. She knew children were hardy and basically bounced off most things.
***
Natasha walked into the warehouse, finding someone she didn't expect. "Castle?"
He looked at her. "Romanoff. The adults are asleep. The kids are hiding in the safe room playing with dolls."
She blinked. "Interesting. What has went on? No one included me in this conspiracy."
"I was told they were trafficking the kids by one of Xander's contacts that was begging for his own end. They told me what's going on."
"Good. Though probably emotional for you." He shrugged. "We rescued the ones that the CIA had."
Xander blinked at them. "Two of them are mini slayers. Get them to Faith and only Faith or Samia. Maybe Brenda."
"I noticed and called Brenda earlier, Xander." She smiled. "Do you want help?"
He shrugged, snuggling in again. "You can go change diapers and make breakfast if you want."
"They had oatmeal," Frank said. "That one that threw up last night, he's got a food allergy thing going on. It may be a milk one."
"I didn't even consider that," Xander admitted, then he yawned. "Thanks, Frank."
"Welcome, kid." He stood up. "I'll be back in a few days to make sure you're still safe. Let me know if you need help?"
Xander nodded. "If you want. Six kids means more than two adults are needed."
"Six?" Natasha asked. "I know five were found."
"Sylvia," he called. She popped out from under the couch, coming over to stare up at this new person. Then she giggled and ran back under the couch again. "She's a deaged Asgardian. Loki handed her to Darcy to guard. He's protecting her."
Natasha blinked a few times. "Is he alive?"
"Kinda." Xander grinned. "Does chaos really ever die?"
"No, which is why you're still around to help the girls," she said dryly.
Xander nodded. "Exactly." He got up, keeping the towel in place. "Let me put on clothes." He went to do that. Darcy got covered by Frank.
Natasha stared at him. "They're more settled than I thought."
"They're moving in a few weeks."
"That would be good. That way the children have bedrooms to mess up." She looked in the safe room. The kids stared back. "Has there been problems?" she asked Frank. "Beyond sending you?"
"Yeah, one last night."
She nodded. "We can solve that. Though I do not want to talk to Stark about this stuff." Xander came out shrugging at her look. "I could try."
"Clearly he's got his heir, Romanoff." He stared at her. "We sent DNA, we sent files, he laughed. I guess he made his decision."
"He could not have seen it."
"He signed the letter."
"Pepper could have done that. I'm not sure. Let me look into that one. Were any Bartons?"
"Some of the embryos were."
"Interesting." She nodded. "Let me help?"
"Be an aunt."
She smiled. "I could like that." She went to talk to others about any other children that were there. Daisy was looking amused when she showed up. "What?" she asked casually.
She handed over her tablet. "The ones I intervened with last night."
She read it over and moaned. "That is very sweet. Thank you, Daisy." She grinned back. She handed the tablet back. "Where can I help?"
"There's a lot of little details I'm not up to date on. I grew up in the system. I have no idea how houses run."
"Of course. Though I don't have much more experience than watching how Barton's family goes." They went to arrange things to help Xander and Darcy.
***
Natasha looked at Pepper that night. "You sent back information."
"It was a hoax," she said dryly.
Natasha held up a picture she had taken. Pepper sucked in a breath. "He is with a good family. The ones who saved him and the others are good and will care for him. However, you will have to tell him some day. FRIDAY will find out." She walked off. "Don't try to act against them either. At least they cared enough to save those children. Because there were twelve or thirteen born."
Pepper shuddered at that and ordered their AI FRIDAY to ignore that talk. She knew Tony might have an idea but he wasn't paying attention to that.
Tony cornered Natasha that night by virtual projection. "What's this I hear?"
"About?" she asked.
"I found that file on the embryos."
"Yours isn't frozen. He's a charming little toddler."
He blinked a few times. "Excuse me?" She nodded. "Where?"
"Lewis."
"Foster's assistant?"
"She has her own doctorate. She ran into it when they tried to take her hostage too. HYDRA. She ran into Harris, who was there to rescue a few mini slayers. They're now dating."
Stark sucked in a breath but nodded, biting his lip. "So...." She showed him that same picture. "Fuck."
"They're handling it but she did want you told. It's responsible of her."
"I..." He nodded. "Is it safe?"
"No. Not for them or for us and Morgan."
"I know that. That's why she's not here." He blinked a few times. Then he nodded again. "I'll make sure they're safe but ...are they tampered with?"
"I don't know. That wasn't noted. I can go over those files."
"Please. I want him safe. And the others."
"We moved the other children earlier. Lewis is moving in a few days with their family."
He nodded, swallowing hard. "I want them safe. I won't deny it but I want them safe and here isn't. Morgan isn't. You guys aren't. Who else knows?"
"Sam. Bucky."
"That figures and they're safer. Even the Great Thawed Man is probably safe enough around them." He considered it. "I'm going to deny that I know anything but I'm going to quietly support them being safe."
"It makes sense but they will be disappointed some year."
"I know. I'm leaving them information for the kid." He nodded once. "That'll be safer. Thank you." His projection disappeared.
Natasha went to her room to consider that. Stark was weird about his son but he was probably worried he'd turn into his own father and ruin that child. Or that the child was programmed or something.
***
Bucky walked up to a woman who did not like him. For any reason. He had disappointed her and that was a permanent situation. But she had agreed to meet him. He sat across from her at the café table, sliding the folder over then leaning on the table. "Sam and a few others rescued babies from HYDRA. They were making future soldiers," he said quietly.
She looked at it and sucked in a breath then stared at him. "Whose?"
"DNA's in there." She went back to looking and winced. "Right now, he's with my sister. Some are with another family. The ones Sam and I helped, with Natasha and her girls' help to get them free from other agents that took them from HYDRA, to get them to my sister and her group of fussy grandmothers. I have no idea what someone wants to do with this. So far he's fine, he's safe, he's healthy. But we all agreed if we could find families they had to be told."
She stared at him. "That is the right thing to do."
He nodded. "Harris has the others," he said quietly. She winced. "Yes, that one. He and his girlfriend are great to them though."
"He is said to be." She sighed. "You did act against us."
"Did you have a way to stop those ones with the serum?"
"No. Which is something that mitigates it but we still did not like that."
"It was an expedient, dumbass idea that worked. He had the contacts to handle it."
"True." She considered it. "I will tell Queen Shuri. She will not be pleased."
He nodded. "I figure there's going to be a loud yelling bit in her decontamination chamber." He grimaced. "But we need to know what she wants to do."
"I can do that." She stared at him. "Are any yours?"
"No. They made sure I can't have any a long time ago."
"That was an additional wrong on you." She stood up. "Thank you for letting us know."
"I wasn't going to keep him from family. Family's important."
She nodded. "It is." She left, going back to their Oakland center. The former Queen was there and waiting on her. She handed over the file. "He's with Bucky's sister."
"Oh." She went over the forms then sucked in a breath. "Oh, dear. Who?"
"HYDRA. Some Avengers members helped get some. Harris has some."
The former queen smiled. "He is good at that sort of thing. He proved it repeatedly saving his future slayers." She looked up. "I would gladly raise my grandson."
"Bucky's sister has him. We figured Shuri would complain. Greatly."
"She will," she agreed, smiling at her. "But it's good for her." She stood up. "Let us go see the Eldest Barnes matriarch."
"Right away, My Queen." She went with her. Their people could make the paperwork they'd need if they didn't have some started. They ran into some of the former Widows being trained in childcare things by Rebecca Barnes, who smiled at them. "Your brother told us," she said with a nod.
Rebecca smiled. "He's a good boy I'm still gonna swat to death for not dying and not finding a way home sooner. Even if it's not reasonable according to that little boy Sammy." She looked at one kid then at them. "So?"
"He is my grandson and family is important to us, as it is you," the former queen said.
"Good. Come sit and meet your grandson then, Romanda." She smiled, settling in to get to know that child. He stared at her hair, getting up to play with it. "Be nicer," Rebecca warned gently. "No pulling."
"Pretty," he told her then smiled. "Cute!" He petted over her hair. He nudged another kid who came over to help him pet the pretty braids.
The former queen let them while they talked like mothers about what needed to be handled about all this. Rebecca didn't have official paperwork but they could find some somehow. Not like anyone would want HYDRA to have children. Even if they were made without the parents' consent. That one got to go home that night with his grandma and auntie who protected them. When he met his direct aunt, she squeaked and stared at her mother oddly.
"HYDRA," she explained. "Rescued."
"Good! We should help end them," Shuri told her. "So I have a nephew?"
"You have a nephew." She let them sit together and talk. He liked her hair too, petting her just as much. She smiled, watching her daughter find a touch of maternal instinct but she could not handle children yet. She'd learn from watching this one raised.
***
Xander walked past Frank, handing him a business card with a nod before he grabbed someone to walk them off by their throat. He had spotted Frank watching over their current housing a few times, making sure no one attacked them at night. It was sweet of him to guard the kids and Darcy for him. Darcy had spotted him and invited him for dinner a few times too. She had let the kids mob him to make him play with them. "Let's talk about how you sneered at one of my minis, dude. Really, let's have a *long* talk."
"Harris, I wanted her to go home and be safe!"
"She was running away from home, it's not safe there. But thanks for trying!"
"Shit. I didn't want to see her hurt." Xander stared at him. "I can go help her family?"
"Why? I already did that. The social workers were *most* happy to meet them." The guy shuddered. "Yeah, so I've got to move her to Cleveland and hear the bitching. But you still sneered at a kid."
"Have you not slept? You're looking like it's been a lot of battles and you're not sleeping."
"The kids are hell, they've got toddler colic or something."
"What kids? You have kids?"
"I adopted." He smirked. "And they're hell!"
"Oh, I heard about those kids, man. I'm so sorry!"
Xander stared at him again. "Why are you sorry?" He moved closer. "Was someone coming after the kids? Because if I have to rush home I can. It'll be very stress relieving. The kids will enjoy it. I've already taught them to appreciate my weapons." He grinned, looking a bit deranged.
"You need to sleep, man."
Xander nodded. "Ya think?"
Castle came to get the guy from him. "Let me talk to him. That kid safe?"
"With one of the witches. So she'd better be?" He frowned. "It'll be okay."
"Uh-huh. Let's get you back with the kids so you can all sleep." He let the guy go. "You can hunt him later, all right?"
"Fine." He walked off shaking his head. "I need lunch. Darcy invited you to dinner once the kids are down for the night if you wanted."
The guy looked at Castle. "He needs to sleep. He's about to have a battle tomorrow and he hasn't slept. It's going to be a horrible mess. The last one of those, he made a horrible mess with his axe thingy." He shuddered, walking off hugging himself. The news would cause some stress in the underground but they mostly liked Harris around there.
Castle blinked then followed Xander to make sure he made it home and got some sleep. Even if he had to knock him out. Darcy was trying not to sleep too. He knocked them both out and settled in to watch over the kids for a few hours. He was all for saving people from seeing a mess. He looked up that battle, grimacing at that mess that indeed got made with Xander's axe.
"Eww," he muttered, making sure the kids didn't see that. He went back to playing with the blocks. "Sylvia?" he called quietly. "Come help us?" She peeked at then grinned and disappeared again. He pulled her out, earning an outraged noise. He grinned at her. "You need to help us. You're very important to help us with this building stuff." He let her sit in his lap to help him help the kids build.
He even let her play with his pocket knife since it was a closed one. She flipped it around again and again in her hand while she helped the others build. He could understand this one, she was feral the same way he was. Probably had a lot of pain in her past too. He could help her gentle down into a more normal warrior or whatever. No one needed to turn into him.
***
Xander had heard the bad news from someone after that battle he had made a mess in. So that night he was astral projecting to an idiot's house to correct him. A lot. He woke the guy up with a shove with his spear, staring at him. "So, I hear you're against people giving me help with the kids I had to adopt to save."
"How did you get in here? I have an excellent security system!" Billy Russo said, reaching for a gun, that wouldn't move. It was stuck somehow. "What did you do?"
Xander grinned. "Well, Scrooge... Your systems are pretty neat, but they don't cover magic, dude." He smiled. "You can have the gun back when I'm not here. Even if I'm here but not here in person, I don't want to be shot. It'll make a shitty night for me after a battle earlier." He stared at him. "Second, don't even *think* about pissing off people for helping me with the transition to parenthood.
"It's a lot different when you get six kids suddenly and all you've had before is daily training time with kids. He's helping me sort out how to do things the better way so they're not in more danger from people like you and those you guard sometimes." He pasted on an interested look. "I've really got to handle that problem soon but you're being a dick to Frank for helping me and that has to come first. All right?"
He grinned and put down a vial. "That *may* be a demon virus. It may be a poison. It may just be holy water. I forgot to mark the vials in my battle vest again." He smiled. "And if you pick on Frank Castle again for helping me with those kids I had to save, it's going up your ass. Then we'll both find out what it is. Got it?"
Billy Russo was looking like he wasn't sure of Xander's sanity, which suited Xander's mood. "I... Six?"
"I found HYDRA making kids. Frank's been nice enough to help me learn how to be a father since my own was shitty. But at least I know I'm not going to throw beer bottles at the toddlers for being whiny. I'm already better than mine was." He stared at the bad guy of the moment. "You cause me hell by causing him hell over this and I'm gonna find a way to relieve my new parent stress, dude.
"All over your life. I know some *charming* beings who'll love to help me and it'll cost me a blowjob. Which means I get to get more weapons probably too. Never can have too many," he finished blandly. "So are we good on that? You're going to leave Frank alone?"
"I...yeah. I guess. Social services?"
Xander snorted. "Like hell. HYDRA has people there and would take them back almost instantly. Beyond that, I've met some. Wasn't impressed. My town didn't have social workers thanks to the mayor having them sacrificed, but ones still showed up for my family and they were shitty then. I doubt the local ones are less so. The good ones get burnt out or die rescuing kids apparently." He stared at him. "Leave Frank alone. Okay?"
"Who are you?"
"I'm Xander." He beamed. "You've met me but I was looking pretty messy after that battle to save your unit's scrawny asses." He stared at him. Then he smiled again. "Just don't touch Frank for helping me, dude. And we're clear and good enough that I won't take you out. Because I could really use a stress break.
"And hey, diaper fund if I'm mean enough at it because there's three prices on your head and those three would *love* to help me raise the kids so I have proper heirs to follow my footsteps. Which the kids aren't allowed to do." He smiled.
Billy nodded slowly at that babble. "Only three prices?"
"Well, the bigger one would never let me tell them I took you out. See, he's got a soul deal and he really hates the slayers and the Council. So me by extension. He'd try to take me out if I claimed it from him. And really, Jack's got a better price going anyway. Or hey, I could go deal with Fisk trying to piss me off. So much easier as well." He stared at him. "Are we good and clear?"
"Yeah, I don't need ta piss Frankie off about helping you learn to be a calmer, saner father."
"Thanks." He smiled and waved his spear then left.
Billy got up to get something to put that vial into so it could be scanned in the morning then he went to shower off and go back to bed. He was confused but he did recognize the guy who had saved his camp once. He was clearly going nuts with those kids and it was good Frank was making sure he wouldn't hurt 'em.
Though, could that guy take him out? Maybe, he decided. He'd check that guy's rep tomorrow among some of his shadier contacts. He had no idea what he had accidentally stepped into but he'd apologize for that before he died of it.
***
Frank ran into a lawyer that night, on purpose. "Hey. Got ten?"
Daredevil turned his head toward the voice. "Frank," he said with a nod. "What's wrong? Been arrested again?"
"Nah. Helping a family in a pickle."
"What sort? Eviction? Someone wanting them to pay protection?"
"Sit down for this one. It's huge shit, Murdock." The guy in red sat down, waiting on him. "So, Xander, that Council guy, found HYDRA making kids."
"Shit," he said, trying hard not to do just that. "Harris?" Whenever someone who did a lot of things, bad or good things, moved into the area he heard about them from the locals. They didn't want him to have a problem since he was blind.
"Yeah. Him. He's rescued 'em. He's adopted them informally. He tried to get the parents but they apparently don't care."
"Oh, dear."
"So they're sort of adopted. I wanted to help them get covered."
"That'll be bad. Can they do that legally? I don't know," he admitted. "Give me an address or bring one of them to meet me tomorrow with the facts they have?"
"I can do that. Xander's girlfriend Darcy is helping him. There's six of 'em. One HYDRA pulled from another realm and she ended up deaged or something. She's Asgardian."
"That's a messier topic then. Okay. Have Lewis show up tomorrow to talk to me with what they've done. Are they the only ones?"
"Nah, man. There's another group but Romanoff handled that."
"Have her show up too if you can. That way we can make sure they're covered in case others get told. HDYRA would be pissy about that."
"I have the feeling that Harris would send a demon army up their assholes for that," Frank said happily. He even smiled. "He seems like the sort."
"Yeah, he probably is. I can talk to Foggy tomorrow. Have her show up sometime before three?"
"I can ask that. Thanks, Murdoch."
"Welcome. That has to be handled. I'd hate to see the kids in danger."
"Me too. Harris might lose his mind and finally go evil. There's a lot of people who want to see how far he'd go down that hole. I figure I wanna hide from that."
"You and me both. I'm not scared of much but that idea...that makes me wanna go to confession so I'm right with God."
Frank nodded. "Not a bad idea. We've got a battle in two days. Again." He walked off. "Have a happier night."
"You too." He considered it, texting his law partner about that meeting so he could handle it if Matt himself was too busy.
***
Darcy showed up the next day with Sam Wilson and a huge file in her purse. "Hey." She smiled and hugged Foggy. "I didn't even think about asking you for advice. We're trying to keep it quiet."
"What did you do, Darcy?" Foggy asked his former temp helper on a case back in college. "Go ahead and sit, Captain."
"Thanks, man. I'm helping with the other ones we had to get from agents." Darcy pulled out the files she had. "You have more than we did."
She grinned. "I helped hack them. Daisy and I are a good team." She let Foggy have them. "I met the boyfriend when I got captured by them and he was showing up to rescue a few of his minis they had taken. Then we found the other kids. That's all we've done to contact parents and all that."
He looked it over, nodding at what he saw. "Not legal but reasonable. Social workers?"
"Oh, please," she snorted. "With HYDRA involved?"
"Point." He went back to it. "I know a few judges who'd handle it quietly, though I think one might be HYDRA leaning." He frowned, going back over it. Matt came in and Darcy handed him a similar file but it was in braille.
"Thank you, Miss Lewis. That's kind of you to translate it."
"Not a problem. The thing that does the reading doesn't do handwriting very well."
Sam looked at her then at the lawyer. "There's a device that does that? I know a few vets who could use it thanks to brain injuries."
"It's not excellent yet but it does do well with typewritten things," he said, making a note of the name for him and handing it over. "That's their company. They do a lot of adaptive tech." He settled in to go over the file. "Parkins?" he decided, turning his head toward Foggy's seat.
Foggy considered it. "Might be the best help. Are the other group safe?"
"Two were minis and got sent to the Council," Sam said. "They made it to a senior slayer named Brenda, who Xander appreciates the sense of. One got taken back to Wakanda by Grandma." That got a nod and a note taken. "The others, I asked a local grandma to help. They're mostly with people who have foster care paperwork in place. She made that call and she'd know who to trust."
"That's good." He made that note too. "I'm going to get an appointment with the judge today. He may want to ask a social worker but that will come with complications. Are you in a safe place to stay, Darcy?"
"We're moving later this week to a real house. Right now we're in a converted warehouse."
"All right." He made that note. "We'll handle that. You've done everything I could think of short of taking out an ad in the paper and that would definitely get HYDRA down on your head. So let us see if we can add to this so they're safer. Including that baby Asgardian."
She smiled and got up to hug them both then Sam, leaving. Sam shook their hands and followed, taking her to have coffee so they could talk about the kids. That name got texted to the vets he worked with so they could see if it'd help them as he followed her.
Matt shook his head. "Wilson cares a lot," he said quietly. "He's the best case scenario here." Foggy nodded. "You call Parkins? He hates me."
"I can do that. They've done good so far." Matt nodded, going back to his own desk. Foggy gathered things and went to the courthouse. He looked at the judge's secretary. "Is he busy? I've got a really odd situation that'll end up causing hell."
"He's having a headache, Mr. Nelson." She smiled. "I can see." The judge opened his door to stare at him. "Or he can answer himself."
"How bad?"
"Someone had to rescue kids."
"Social workers?"
"They rescued them from HYDRA."
The judge blinked. "Wow."
"Yeah. And one's an Asgardian kid."
He hummed, letting Foggy in so he could explain what was needed. He agreed, going to social workers would get those kids harmed. Foggy pulled up information on the foster parents that he knew about. The judge was not pleased but he liked Darcy at least and said that Xander was probably protective of her and the kids. Probably wouldn't hurt them.
Foggy went over the things they had done, including the files telling the parents. The fact most of them had sent letters stating they wanted to be left alone about this meant it could be inferred that they gave up parental rights willingly. It'd take some research and the judge knew a social worker who wouldn't shout about it and wasn't HYDRA at all. She could handle their necessary paperwork. Adoptions meant paperwork from them too.
***
Darcy smiled at the social worker. "This is our temporary house. We're moving in two days to the other house. It's being cleaned of things like listening devices right now." She let her in. The kids all stared. "Please behave, guys. Sylvia, please come out from under the couch?" she sighed, not seeing her. Sylvia peeked out then disappeared again with a head shake. "HYDRA pulled her and had her deaged somehow. She's Asgardian."
The social worker sighed. "This is most odd, Miss Lewis."
"Doctor Lewis actually. PhD in astrophysics." She smiled. "Just last spring actually." She sat down. "Sylvia," she said patiently. She came out to stare up at her. "Please stay with us and I'll try to call Thor again tonight? Maybe Brunnhilde has found his sense again." Sylvia snorted, shaking her head but Darcy put her beside her on the couch. "Stay up here for twenty minutes. Help me talk to the social worker, then you can go back to trying to build a way to swear at Loki for sending you to me to watch over."
Sylvia stared up at her. "Dumbass. I like you!"
Darcy smiled. "I like you too, sweetie. Xander and Frank think you're cutely feral too." Sylvia grinned and nodded. "But you're safe here. If not, let us know. Okay?"
"Fine." She waved a hand before looking at the social worker. "I was bigger."
"I heard, dear." She looked at Darcy. "Loki? The one who invaded New York?"
"Well, kind of. One of him from the multiverse. There's apparently an inter-temporal agency called the TVA who decide which timelines they don't want to keep going on and prune them for some outcome. They had Sylvia and that version of Loki until HYDRA kidnaped her and deaged her by the way they pulled her." She shrugged. "No idea on that. I've been trying to figure it out so we can reage her."
"That's probably reasonable." She made that note. "Is it possible?"
"I hope so. It's got to be weird to be a female version of Loki and then suddenly a little girl."
"That would be weird to experience, yes." She made that note. "Has anyone like a physician seen them?"
"Xander took us all to a healer when he helped me rescue us. Well, he did most of the rescuing, I beat a few people with a fire extinguisher as we got the kids we found out of there. We'd find out later that there was another group in another facility but they got rescued by someone else. He started out doing it all and then I stepped in to help when one of them wouldn't quit fussing at things. Then we started to talk and it was okay."
"That's reasonable. They were healthy?"
"Yes. The only problem we've had is Brad," she said with a point, "may have some sort of allergy that looks like a milk allergy."
"All right." She made that note. "Would his parents have it?"
"No. His father doesn't. His mother, by their records, doesn't either. Though the records were weak about mothers. His was noted as a former scientist of SHIELD's who got captured. I asked the hacker who helped us when we got to safety to look at her records."
"That's good. All right." She sighed, looking around. "This is temporary?"
"Yeah. Two days and we move to a regular house." She showed her pictures of the inside that Xander had sent. "He's cleaning up the listening device epidemic they have there. The slightly bad girl who used to own it gave it to Xander in return for the six embryos she had listed. It let her go save some of her family and a few refugee camps plus have a family later on."
"That's fine I suppose. She was listed?"
"Yes. They were listed as hers."
"That's fine I suppose." She made that note. "That house has how many bedrooms?"
"Five and three bathrooms." She grinned. "The kids can double up."
"That's what usually happens," the social worker agreed with a nod. "Have you ever taken care of a child?"
"Does being the all-but nanny for a few science geeks who couldn't remember to keep a schedule, shower, eat, drink or sleep regularly count?"
The social worker blinked a few times. "Well, probably. You did?"
"I was Jane Foster's assistant." Sylvia giggled at that, shaking her head. "Yeah, that one." She grinned at her then at the social worker. "Jane never could pay attention to anything but her science. I spent years fussing at her to eat something, get some sleep, change clothes, take a shower, go to things, all that. Kids are surprisingly easier, even with six of them. They don't give me petulant looks when I put the toys up and tell them it's time for bed."
"That would probably definitely count toward that sort of experience. Do you have a file with social services? Either as a former person in the system or as a foster parent?"
"I signed up once but Jane decided to leave the US for Norway for sixteen months. I have a file with SWORD. I did some freelance geek work for them once. Xander does have some I think since he works with the slayers. A lot of them are in foster care due to being orphans."
"That's reasonable with that situation." She made that note. "Introduce me since it's apparently cuddle time?"
She smiled and introduced each of the kids. The social worker was pleased they had manners, even if Brad did stare at her oddly for a few minutes. Then he cackled and stole Sylvia to help him build stuff. Sylvia found the pocket knife she had stolen off Frank to flip around in her hand while she built.
The worker stared. "Is that a pocket knife?"
"Yes but it's to stay closed and Sylvia knows that. She remembers using one I'm sure." Sylvia looked at them and nodded with a smirk then went back to helping Brad. Darcy nodded. "She's potty trained too. I think I'll have a margarita the night the rest manage it in thanks of no more diapers."
The social worker laughed but smiled, nodding a bit. "Many parents did, Dr. Lewis." She went over the file the judge had given her. Darcy told her what they had sent to each parent they could find. Two they could not find. They were not in the US and even the hacker in SHIELD couldn't find them. They went over Darcy's application as a foster parent. Xander came in during it and grunted, heading for the bathroom. "Was that a rabbit?" she demanded.
"Not exactly," Xander said dryly. "And it's attached so I need to pry the rabbit demon off me. They're not supposed to eat meat but there was a witch I had to stop earlier."
The social worker looked at Darcy, who shrugged. "Sometimes those things happen around Xander. He doesn't let the kids do more than help him shine the swords."
"That's probably logical to him."
Xander leaned out to stare at her. "Look me up in the Cali system please, dear." He grinned. "The mayor sacrificed all our social workers and they still showed up but were shitty about everything." He went back to prying the rabbit demon off his butt cheek and thigh.
She did that and moaned. "Oh. The one from Ohio is complementary about his skills with the girls though." She made a note of those files and how to find them again. She looked at Darcy. "When are you telling them?"
"When they're old enough to wonder how they came to us and why they're the same age. We'll start with 'we rescued you' and move up in an age appropriate way."
Xander came out. "By the time they're eight they'll know the whole story and once they're teens they can have the files to go searching if they want." He tossed the demon out the back door and shut it then went to get Sylvia and bring her back inside. "You do not need to play with demons like that one. We can take you to the daycare and let you play there if you want to play with demons."
"Magic," she said.
"I know. That's why it bit me."
"I can free it."
He grinned. "I already did, sweetheart." He put her back down after a hug. "Build with the other kids please." He counted then frowned and recounted. Darcy pointed at one on his blind side. "Oh, there you are, hiding." He sat down with a sigh. "I've got to talk to that coven tonight."
She hugged him. "Need help?"
"Nah. Not tonight. Though Giles wants me back in Ohio for a few days?"
She smiled. "Want to bring Sylvia with you?"
"Don't tempt me to make the girls flee the idea that I had a daughter." Sylvia giggled, grinning at him. "We'll call Giles tonight, sweetie. He'll be amazed too." He looked at the social worker. "I sometimes have to leave her to go deal with slayer things but she's really great at all this. And we have a few contacts who step in now and then when we need a nap."
"That's how normal parents do it too," the social worker said. "Anyone of big note I'll have to complain about?"
Xander smirked. "I'm still fighting off the flirty arms dealers, two serial killers, three chemists who want me to donate to their attempts, two mad geniuses who may want to take out humanity, and Frank Castle sometimes steps in."
The social worker licked her lips. "Are you dating Mr. Castle? I've heard his name."
"No, he's just real sweet and babysat once," Darcy said, patting Xander's thigh.
Xander nodded. "I love the guy like a brother for letting us have a nap." He looked at Sylvia. "That's his knife probably. I don't have a locking pocket knife. I have a few survival ones."
The social worker shook her head quickly. "Are the others your dates, Mr. Harris?"
He grinned. "I don't flirt with anyone but the ones who flirt with me tend not to be too nice sometimes. Then again, I nearly married the vengeance demon over scorned women when I was twenty-one. Halfrek told me how bad it'd be and how miserable she'd be so I walked at the altar."
The social worker stared at him. "That's...." She slumped. "You're not normal."
"Thank you!" He beamed at her for that. "Please don't let the slayers know that. They decided long ago that I am in fact normal and push me to stay normal all the time."
The social worker nodded at that. "That's very weird and I feel sorry for their problems." She looked at Darcy, who was smirking at Xander. "You don't participate in his battles?"
"Not unless I have to. I've tazed more than one person in my life who was an annoying puss filled zit of a human. Including Thor. But I can't do battle stuff." She grinned at Xander then at the social worker. "Right now I figure it's like a wife with a military husband handles things."
"Mostly," she decided. "How is their diet?"
"I'm a really good cook," Darcy said with a grin. "And baker. They get a single cookie a day for being good kids." Sylvia smiled at her and nodded. "Yes, so far you've earned your daily cookie, Sylvia." She petted over her hair. "I need to have that trimmed. You're losing your style." She smiled at the social worker again. "That's a later thing, next week."
Xander nodded. "I'm sucky at that so I can't help but I'll see if there's a nice barber near the new house." The social worker looked at him oddly. "Barbers are a bit less expensive and a lot of them handle kids. Hers is mostly a bob so not that hard."
Darcy patted his thigh again with a grin. "There's a great beautician I know of in Queens. We can take them there, Xander. Not that expensive." He sighed but nodded at that. "He's done my hair for a few years."
"Okay. If you want. You deal more with that than I would. Mine, I don't really care most of the time." He shrugged a bit and picked up one of the girls to stare at. "Why are you pooping?" he asked dryly, getting up to take her to change in the bathroom. "I can't wait until we're in the new place. That way there's more room in the bathroom to change you. Eww, why is it green? Did you eat a crayon?"
"Broccoli," Darcy called. "That's from veggies, Xander. Kids need veggies to grow."
He came out with the changed kid, handing her to the social worker. "She's cut herself somehow. Thought you needed to see before I treated it."
She looked then sighed. "How did you do that?" she asked.
"She tripped on a sword," Sylvia said with a smirk for the other kid. "Told you it'd mean booboos."
Darcy hugged her. "We can treat booboos. No running around the swords," Darcy told her. Then looked at the other kids. "No running around the swords," she said patiently. "They'll get you booboos and I'll have to fuss. You guys like to run from being fussed at." Brad got up and ran for a hiding spot. "See?" She sighed, taking that kid to look. "Just a big scratch. We'll put some cream on it. Don't let anyone lick it off you this time." She took her to do that and a bandaid.
Xander grinned. "She's really great at mother stuff."
"She seems like it," the social worker agreed.
"We're doing margaritas the night they're all finally diaper broken," Darcy called.
Xander looked that way. "Yeah, I figured we were. We can invite Frank and whoever to come celebrate with us."
"Cool!" She came out with the kid, putting her down. "Don't touch the bandaid, don't let anyone lick the stuff underneath it off this time, and please go play for now? Get Brad out from under the couch?" She went to do that, pulling Brad out by his leg. Which made him fuss but oh well. "Come play, Brad. It's playtime." He huffed but came back to play.
Xander grinned at the social worker. "She has so much more patience than I do."
"It's a good parental thing to have," she promised. "Let's go over your future plans and if the parents hear again and want them back?"
"Of course," Darcy agreed. She sat down again.
***
Xander was on the couch with Sylvia when he called Giles, who stared oddly at the kid in his lap having a nap. "It's nap time."
"The girls said you were dating someone with a child," he said. "Is she healthy?"
"This is Sylvia. The TVA had her in custody. Then HYDRA captured her and deaged her." He grinned. "And yeah, she's our kid now."
Giles took off his glasses. "Excuse me?"
"First, get Andrew please? I think I could use some help." He did send for Andrew to join them and kicked the girls out of the office for a bit. A few of the younger slayers were helping him with some files. Andrew came in to look over Giles' shoulder. "This is Sylvie but we're going by Sylvia to hide her a bit. The TVA had her as a Loki variant."
"According to the comics, that was Loki's daughter. He wanted to see what happened if he made a mortal child." Sylvia looked at him oddly. He grinned and waved. "Are you a true Loki or a kid of Loki, dear?"
"I think a true one."
"Okay, so you came from farther away than our comics." Xander grinned and hugged her for that. "That means you're from a far distant part of the multi-verse. Which is cool." He looked at Xander. "I heard."
"They're good kids." He grinned.
"Multiple ones?" Giles demanded, looking at Andrew then at his monitor. "More than one?"
"When I was rescuing a few of my minis in Africa from HYDRA, I ran into a young woman trying to fight her way out and then we ran into the lab by accident, finding they had five kids." He gave Sylvia a squeeze. "HYDRA made the other kids. They deaged this one somehow. Some version of Loki showed up and had Darcy take Sylvia here with her to protect her."
Giles stared at the camera. "So you have a few adopted children then?"
"Yeah, we have six kids." He grinned. "We had a social worker visit earlier. Darcy had told the parents but they didn't want to deal with it." He shrugged. "So we've got six kids and my girlfriend, who is an astrophysicist, is a great mom. She's so great, Giles." He grinned. "So I really need to be the watcher here in New York."
Giles rubbed his eyes then put his glasses back on. "Were you possessed again?" Xander slid onto the floor so Giles could see the napping kids. "Oh, dear. Is one a teenager?"
"Darcy's twenty-eight," Xander said dryly. He put Sylvia down. "Cuddle in, kiddo. We'll play again tomorrow. You can help me repair crossbows." She nodded, curling up around a few of the kids. Xander smiled. "It's nap time."
"I can see that." He blinked a few times. "Is New York going to be safe enough for them?"
"Probably. I've gotten a house from a contact. She took her embryos we found of hers and went to rescue some family members."
Giles just nodded. "You are sure you're sane, not possessed? Nothing like that?"
"No, Giles," he sighed.
Darcy sat up, pushing her hair back before she put her chin on his shoulder, kissing him on the cheek. "Big problems?" she asked quietly.
"Just telling Giles before I bring the kids with me to the meeting. That way they can play with the baby slayers and freak out Buffy a lot." He grinned and kissed her gently, making her grin back. "That'll give you a few hours off."
"That's nice of you." She cuddled him, making him lay down. The kids instantly curled up around his head. "Hi, Mr. Giles. I'm Darcy, his girlfriend." She waved.
"Pleasure to meet you, Darcy. This is Andrew."
Andrew grinned and waved. "I loved your work with SWORD and the Maximoff problem, Dr. Lewis."
She grinned. "Thank you, Andrew."
Xander kissed her again. Then he grinned. "So I'm coming in by train for the meeting. We'll overnight, then come back after the meeting since that train leaves at three. That'll get us back after bedtime but it'll mean only one night at the house."
Giles nodded. "We can call instead. I imagine traveling with a herd of a children would be rather difficult. Plus I'd like Buffy to have some sanity later on."
Xander grinned. "That's mean to my kids, Giles. They deserve to get to know the ones I work with and the mini slayers could use some friends."
"They could," he decided with a nod. "No wonder you got a sleeping berth on the train." He sighed, rubbing his eyes again then putting his glasses back into place. "Fine. Darcy could probably use some time without little helpers. I'll have you put in as the New York watcher in charge. Which will move Brianna."
"She should be moved anyway. She's creeped out by the size of the city," Xander said. "She'd prefer somewhere more rural."
"I'm not sure if I could move her to Germany for that opening or not. We'll talk to her tomorrow about all that. Call when you get to the station so we can warn the others." He hung up and looked at Andrew, who grinned. "Please?"
"I can go spread gossip." He went to the slayer hang out room, staring at the two senior girls. "Xander rescued his girlfriend from HYDRA. That's how they met."
"Like the super yucky racist assholes?" Buffy asked, looking confused.
"Yeah, they wanted her for her science work." She nodded at that. "During that rescue, because he found her while rescuing a few of his minis in Africa, they ran into kids HYDRA was making too. Six of them." She blinked, sitting up slowly to stare at him. Faith paused the movie to watch this go down. Andrew grinned. "They're so adorable! One's at least partially Asgardian! She's a little chaos source." He beamed.
She blinked, looking at the other girls then at him. "So Xander has a girlfriend." Andrew nodded. "Who is adopting *six* kids with him." He nodded again with a smile. "Why?"
"Because leaving little kids with the super yucky racist sorts is wrong," he said dryly. "They're coming up for the meeting so they can meet everyone and Xander's going to be moving to New York full time."
"Won't that get him in trouble?" Faith asked. "I remember social workers."
"I guess they're working on that," he admitted. "But they did try to tell the parents." He shrugged. "So they're now raising little hellions." He smiled at Buffy. "So they're coming up for the meeting. All of them."
Buffy shook her head. "We can call."
"It'll give Darcy a day off."
"We can still call. We have *plenty* of kids around here."
"Who'd probably love to play with his kids since they love to play with him," Faith said. She looked at Andrew. "How old?"
"Still in diapers but Sylvia was talking a bit."
"So probably about Patrice's age?" she guessed.
"Looked like it," he agreed. He looked at Buffy again. "Do you want *me* to tell her or him to just show up so she finds out?"
"He can stay wherever he is with his huge little family full of little fussy things. Really!"
"Fat. Chance," Andrew said happily. "They need to know who you are in case they run into you."
She blinked. "I'm going to call him."
"He was napping on the floor with all the kids around them."
"Oh, shit." She huffed but looked at him. "Thank you for the warning."
"Welcome. Want me to tell Willow?"
"We'd hate to miss you while you're a mouse again." She got up and went to find Willow in the library. She was going over a math lesson with one of the girls and some of the watchers were at the desk. "Xander's coming for the meeting," she announced. The watchers grimaced at that.
Willow looked up. "We got him from Africa or wherever he was?"
"New York. With the girlfriend he rescued from HYDRA."
"That group?" Willow demanded.
"Yeah. Apparently they stole a few minis, he met his girlfriend rescuing them because she was getting out. Then they found kids." One of the watchers stood up, glaring at her. "Six kids." She smiled. "One's at least partially Asgardian though."
"Excuse me?" Willow demanded, standing up. The mini slayer hid under the table. "He did *what*?"
"Adopted. Andrew talked to him somehow. He's coming for the meeting with the kids. They wanted to come meet us, play with the minis, all that."
Willow huffed. "He. Did. What?" she demanded.
"Adopted with the girlfriend." Buffy took a step back because the magic was starting to come out in visible waves. "So they're coming for the meeting to meet everyone. Andrew told me so I could be calmer when they got here." She smiled. "So I'm warning you so you can be calmer when they get here."
"Hell. No!"
"Not our choice apparently. It's giving his girlfriend a kid-free day too."
One of the watchers cleared his throat. "Harris did what?"
"I got it from Andrew."
"Andrew," he bellowed. He leaned in. "Harris did what now?"
"Had to rescue a few of his minis in Africa from HYDRA, but he ran into Darcy, who is a scientist they wanted, trying to get free. Then they ran into the lab that had kids. They're about Patrice's age." He shrugged. "He said he's coming up by train and they'll be here overnight before the meeting so the kids have time to meet everyone."
Willow glared at him. "No he won't!"
"Giles offered to call. Xander said it was important for the kids to at least meet you guys in case they needed to know you. And I'd calm down before the protections knock you out again." Andrew grinned at the watchers. "Darcy, his girlfriend, is an astrophysicist who helped SWORD with the Maximoff thing."
"Oh." They shared a look. "Is she a weapons person? They do seem to like Xander," another of them said.
"No but she did taze Thor when he first appeared and was a drunken dick. Told off SHIELD a few times. She's a nice lady. I could totally stan on her. She was Jane Foster's assistant for years."
"The brunette at the convergence?" one asked.
"Brunette yeah. Not sure if she was there or not. Probably though."
"She was pretty. She handled herself well enough during the battle. So Harris picked someone nice this time. That's amusing." They shared a look then looked at him again. "Anything else of note?"
"Sylvia, the partial Asgardian, was deaged when HYDRA got her. Somehow."
"That makes sense that he'd want Rupert to look at her," that one decided, nodding a bit as he looked at the others. He looked at Willow, who was still red in the face and huffy. "You'd expect to meet his children anyway, Rosenburg. Even if they did come about by adoption. He might've adopted some of the minis eventually."
"Giles said he can become the guy in New York when he said he wanted to stay there," Andrew said.
"Not a bad idea if they have things set up for the family." The other watchers nodded.
"It's not right," Willow ground out. And the protections zapped her unconscious.
Buffy sighed. "That went a lot better than I thought it would!" She smiled at Andrew. "Thanks for the warning."
"Welcome." He went to tell Giles she was out in case one of the witches complained.
The watchers got Willow onto a couch in there, got the mini slayer out to help her finish her homework so she could go tell the other girls about the kids, and let Buffy go do Buffy things that would rot their brains.
***
Xander looked at the agent who was trying to block him going home. "Yes, SHIELD person who supposedly doesn't exist?"
"Mr. Harris, should you have these children?"
"Yes, I should." He smiled. "Don't make me mad. I'd hate to horrify the kids."
"I can have you arrested for kidnaping."
"That means you're HYDRA," he said happily but loudly. "Get away from my kids. Before I have to hurt you."
An officer came over. "Sir?"
"Hi, I'm Watcher Xander Harris. This agent, who is supposedly SHIELD but is asking about HYDRA things, is mad I have kids I adopted. We're on our way home from a meeting."
The officer nodded once, looking at the agent. "Do you have a warrant or something, sir? And ID?"
Xander looked at the kids. "Don't wander off," he said quietly but patiently. "Sylvia, make sure they all stay here please." She nodded, holding onto a few of them. "Thank you, sweetie." He looked at the officer. "I have no idea why they hate me but next time I won't save their asses during a battle I guess." He shrugged. "It happens, I can always go handle something else."
"Sir," the officer sighed.
Xander grinned. "I'm the watcher in New York and the former one in Africa."
"Ah." He nodded, looking at the agent, who was calling in.
Another agent walked over, looking amused as he flashed his badge. "Harris. Spawn of Harris." He looked then at Xander. "Are you missing one?"
He looked. "Brad," he called. "I said no wandering off. Come back right now or no nightly cookie!" The kid ran back with someone's wrench. "Did you steal?" He sighed. The officer went to check and the guy let the kid have the tool. "Thanks," Xander called with a wave. "Sorry!"
"It's only a wrench, sir." He looked. "You're really brave to travel with six kids."
Xander grinned and nodded. "I had a meeting. They went to meet my coworkers." He grinned. He looked at the agent. "Paul. Why is SHIELD mad this time?"
"He's not SHIELD anymore. SHIELD fell in. They're not an agency anymore," he said, even though he knew better. "If they were still in existence I'm sure they'd be mad at him for pissing off the person who helped save the city last week." The SHIELD guy shrank back. One of the kids was looking at his watch so he looked down. "It's a watch. Some day you can tell time too."
Brad looked up at him. "Too shiny. Will glare." He grinned. "Need less shiny."
"I do, yes. It's new and I haven't polished that off yet. Thank you, kid." Brad grinned then up at Xander.
"That's very helpful, Brad." He looked at the agents again. "Can we go home?"
"Yeah. Lewis moved into the new house and we've taken all our devices out that you missed," Paul said. "We don't care what you two get up to. Or whoever that guy that helped her is."
"Tough guy?"
"Yeah. Looked like a guy on the news."
"Yeah, it was probably Frank. We gave Mom a day off."
Paul just nodded, walking off. "We'll make sure people leave you alone about the kids, Harris."
"Thanks." He grinned at the officer. Who called that in and that agent was getting chewed on over the phone. "Can we go home?"
"Go ahead, sir." Xander whistled and walked off with the kids walking together in a line holding hands. Sylvia had the end of the line and was waving to people, who mostly waved back. The officer followed. Xander got them all into the minivan and hitched into car seats then got in to drive. He beeped happily as he drove them off.
Darcy opened the door. "Everyone has bedrooms," she said happily. "Go find them. They have your stuffies on the beds." The kids ran in, giving her a hug before going to explore and find their stuff. Xander came in with their bags, taking a kiss. She grinned. "It go okay?"
"Willow didn't get to complain too long. The protections on the house knocked her out before she could change anyone. The witches don't think they can reage Sylvia easily but they think she'll grow up pretty quick for her people. Which could mean it'll take a few extra years, they weren't sure." He took another kiss with a grin. "A supposed SHIELD agent tried to stop me at the train station." He walked around her. "Everyone gets cookies. Brad came back when I called for him and the guy gave him the wrench."
"Okay." She shut the door, going to follow him. All the bedrooms were upstairs. The kids were staring in awe at the bathtub they had running. Darcy turned off the water. "An hour for bath time. Go find your rooms." She walked them off, showing them each their rooms. Sylvia had a bigger room that was up three stairs. She hugged her. "Because I know you have things you need to do that they don't," she said in her ear, getting a grin back. "You can still barge in on us or them."
She gave her a pat. "Let's go see the play and safe room, guys," she called. They followed, finding Frank napping on the couch in there. The kids stared but Abby giggling at his snoring woke him up. She poked him on the stomach then ran off giggling again. Darcy helped him sit up with a grin. "They found you."
"They did," he agreed.
"Thanks for helping her move," Xander said, leaning in. "Wow. This is huge."
"Playroom so most of the toys can stay in here," Darcy said with a manic grin.
Xander grinned back. "I like that!" He went to shoo the kids away from the tub again. "Kitchen, guys." They ran for the kitchen so he could shut off the water. He got them their nightly cookie and settled in to eat his own. Then they got baths and put down. They were tired anyway. He flopped down next to Frank. "She do okay while I was gone?"
"Yeah. Six hours in the tub then we moved all the stuff here. She asked me how to safely move something so I came to help by doing the weapons for her." Xander grinned, punching him on the arm. "They do okay on the train?"
"They loved the train. They stared out the windows, they ate while staring out the windows. They loved the minis and Andrew. Who decided he liked the idea of the nightly cookies. Willow got knocked out a few times by the house's protections for getting huffy. The kids pestered Buffy and Faith, and made Faith play with them." He grinned. "They were mostly good kids. They even helped Giles dust his shelves at one point. He had a candy dish on the shelves."
Frank grinned. "My kids would've stolen the candy too."
"He buys licorice stuff so the girls don't steal it." He smirked a bit. "They ate it anyway because it was candy."
"That's sweet of 'em." He shook his head when Sylvia snuck in. "Hey, Princess. Come cuddle?" She snuggled between them, getting Frank's other knife but giving him his pocket knife back. "Fine, kiddo. Just don't hurt yourself."
"Won't," she said quietly.
Xander grinned at her. "You were very well behaved."
"Witches weird."
"Yeah, they can be. Sometimes witches can be very weird."
"Red one?"
"Willow? Yeah. She's got a magic addiction." Sylvia grimaced at that. "She's really strong but has that blind spot sometimes. Did she say stuff to you?" She nodded. "Something mean? I can go punch her."
"Not that bad. Not Odin."
Xander tipped her face up. "I'm going to punch her for saying mean things. She knows better. She's not supposed to be mean to little kids. Especially not *my* kids." Sylvia blinked. He grinned back. "She knows better. She'll get spanked."
"Tell big guy?"
"Giles? Yeah, he could probably spank her for me." She grinned, snuggling in to play with the knife for now. She liked Frank's cuddles and his weapons. He shook his head but let her cuddle. Xander grinned, getting up to get them both something to drink. "Water or coffee?"
"Coffee please."
Sylvia looked up at him. "Your kids would be happy," she said quietly. "Kids hate their parents being sad."
He cuddled her even though that hurt him emotionally. "I hope so, Princess. They deserve a lot of happiness after everything." Xander gave him a beer and he sipped it around her. Xander settled in to rest too. Darcy came down to find them all asleep and Frank being cuddled like a bear. She let them nap there for now. Moving Sylvia would upset her. And Frank. Xander was probably exhausted. So yeah, she could nap in bed until Xander came up.
***
When Family Finds You.