Voracity's New Realms
New Realms of Imaginings

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We are the home of 1 author - Voracity.
There are 265 stories consisting of 591 chapters and 8676923 words.

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Ancestry 55 - Magnificence in Many Forms. FRT
Ancestry 55 - Magnificence in Many Forms.

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Old Ones 61: School Trips for Future Old Ones. FRT
Sometimes people just don't like Dawn. Which usually makes Dawn show her butt...

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Name: sekmarc (Signed) · Date: 11/18/2013 12:26 am · For: Part 3
I'm re-reading this story and I noticed that you have a tendency to words kind of fit a situation, though not as well as some others. The one that got me in this chapter is the use of 'lineage' in regards to Dawn claiming the position of third in command of the Council. I think it would have been better if you had used the word 'succession' as in 'Dawn is third in the line of succession' as opposed to saying she was a part of the lineage as that implies bloodlines to me. It might also imply being a part of the Slayer lineage, which there is no evidence to say she is. For future reference, 'succession' just fits better for the context you were using it. Still, I'm enjoying the story just as much as I did the first time. Thanks and Happy Writing!


Name: DennSedai (Signed) · Date: 07/03/2013 06:09 am · For: Part 3
*cackles* Oh hell, the madness deepens and widens....

Author's Response: yes, and then they meet the kids. vo


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