Voracity's New Realms
New Realms of Imaginings

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We are the home of 1 author - Voracity.
There are 285 stories consisting of 676 chapters and 9900813 words.

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The Things You Do With Elves. FRT
Alex is tasked with handing back some Fae artifacts they've found so it doesn't...

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Name: sekmarc (Signed) · Date: 11/17/2013 05:26 pm · For: Part 3
I'm re-reading this story and I noticed that you have a tendency to words kind of fit a situation, though not as well as some others. The one that got me in this chapter is the use of 'lineage' in regards to Dawn claiming the position of third in command of the Council. I think it would have been better if you had used the word 'succession' as in 'Dawn is third in the line of succession' as opposed to saying she was a part of the lineage as that implies bloodlines to me. It might also imply being a part of the Slayer lineage, which there is no evidence to say she is. For future reference, 'succession' just fits better for the context you were using it. Still, I'm enjoying the story just as much as I did the first time. Thanks and Happy Writing!


Name: DennSedai (Signed) · Date: 07/02/2013 11:09 pm · For: Part 3
*cackles* Oh hell, the madness deepens and widens....

Author's Response: yes, and then they meet the kids. vo


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