A Harris and a Half. by Voracity2

A Harris and a Half.

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Xander looked up from a battle as the sound of thunder happened, frowning up. "Sis?" he called. "What're you doing?"

"It likes me," she shot back, then landed hard, making her wince. "Okay, let's kick some butt." Xander stared at her. She stared back, waving the hammer around. He rolled his eyes but pointed. "Great. Yay. Before I was helping evacuate but cool. We can do this." She swung the hammer at one of the bad guys and grimaced at the split skull. "Ewww, brains are gross." Xander laughed but helped her with her first battle. It was bonding. More warriors showed up and she looked back, nodding at one. He stared at her oddly. "It got wiggly, Sif."

"That is interesting."

"I'm pretty sure it wanted Jane but she's not in great shape," Darcy admitted. She hit another few people and kicked one. Xander shot them then beheaded them for her. They went back to it, clearing the field of bad aliens. She panted, leaning down. "Damn it, I didn't realize that fighting was this hard."

Xander patted her on the back. "Yes it is. That's why I can wear out my lovers so damn often." He helped her stand up, looking at the hammer. "This was a backup force, Hammer."

"Mew-mew, are we staying here to help for a bit or moving to another one?" It tapped Xander's axe then flew back into her hand. She yelped as it flew her off. "Hey, slow down! I still don't know how to do this flying shit!"

Xander grinned and waved. "Put your body into a better position," he called after her. "It's more aerodynamic and won't burn as much." She shifted her position and it was easier. Darcy waved as they disappeared into a portal. He looked at Sif, grinning. "Well, she complains when I get into battles."

Sif nodded. "The hammer has a mind of her own," she agreed, looking around. "Why did they attack here?"

"There's a stone here, Sif."

She stared at him. "There should not be."

"They stole one that was split and was bringing it here to reform it." He pointed at the dwarf princess he ended up protecting now and then, who was petting the stone while telling her twins about it. He looked at Sif again. "The ones on earth are safely locked up in ways that's almost impossible to get to without having a full blown attack. And the ones holding two of the three can fight back."

"That makes six or seven stones," she said.

He grinned. "Ya think? They know about five but there were a few others split off, Sif. Their first attempt wasn't big enough and held almost no power but could be charged. There's two others in that class and one that's weird but not like the others. We think it's got filled with void magic instead."

Sif blinked. "We know not of thus. How do you?"

He grinned. "I asked the source."

"Oh."

"Who is helping the brothers and their dad."

Sif stared at him. "I knew of that." He pointed. She looked. "That is a portal from that side."

"Yup." He looked back then at the princess. "Hey!" he called then pointed. "Take the kids." She nodded, taking the kids and the stone with her. The warriors all fell in around her. She was glowing brightly but the stone was powering the twins better. They went to hide in places only dwarves could get to. Xander looked back then at Sif. "Is that an enemy?"

Sif stared, but nodded once. "Sometimes." She stomped over. "We are just ending a battle. Do you need such help?"

"There are enemies coming for Asgard," the lead warrior told her. He looked back. "Our seers saw that one." He pointed at Xander.

"Xander has been protecting the dwarves from Hela." Sif stared at him. "He has saved Asgard in the past. I doubt he is the threat. He was probably seen at that battle."

"He was fighting with young warriors."

"Was one a brunette female?" Xander called, walking that way. "And a lot of young warriors?" They nodded. "That's when I saved a battle academy from the slayers who wanted to take warriors as war husbands." He stared at the warrior. "You look like the teacher I saved."

"He was my cousin. He was rescued?"

"Yes. I showed up with the senior Slayer Faith and we kicked the girls around until they were sent home pouting about being bitches."

"I see." He looked back at his seer, who nodded that may fit with his vision. He looked at Sif again. "Who attacks Asgard now?"

"Hela," she said. The war team all moaned. "We must go protect the others. May we use your portal?" They nodded. "Xander?"

He looked back at the guarding dwarves, who waved. "Call me back if you need me," he reminded them. They nodded. "Or find Dawn. I'll be near her probably." He bowed and followed Sif once one of the guards tossed him his bag and backpack. "Okay." They stepped through onto Asgard, watching as the ground shivered. He looked at Sif, who shrugged. She had no idea. They went to the palace, going to meet up with the others. Xander walked in, kissing Dawn on the head since she was sipping tea while walking around talking to her pet kraken. He walked over, looking at Odin, Thor, and Loki. He ignored the Council members. "Your hammer has picked a temporary helper." Thor winced. "I don't think it'll keep her."

"Her?" Loki asked.

"Saw Darcy," Xander said with a grin at Thor, who moaned and sat down, hugging himself. "I don't think it'll stay with her. She's still fussing at it making her fly."

Thor looked up. "You think it was only helping for this battle?"

"Quite possibly. She showed up to help ours then the hammer went through a portal with her. I had to yell how to fly after her."

Thor stood up with a sigh. "That makes much sense. She could move it before so she is at least partially worthy. I have no idea why it picked a woman."

Xander stared at him then got out of the way so Sif could hit him if she wanted. "Women can be great warriors, Thor. Your friend proves thus." He looked back at Dawn. "Why are you muttering?"

"Headache. I can feel more babies around here."

"The unpowered and can be filled, the powered, or the strange one?" he asked.

She looked up. "Two unpowered. The void one is near that one that we had to warn. I felt it then it went blank on purpose so it couldn't be bothered. I think it was watching maidens bathe in a stream or something since I got water feelings and sexy time thoughts from it."

Xander shook his head. "Your babies are very weird. I can't wait until you have human ones so I can make them normal." He grinned at her.

"If, Xander. If. Not when." She smirked back. Someone shot magic at her and Xander threw his axe back at them, making them scream and fall down injured. She walked over to haul out the axe and toss it back to him. "Thanks. I was about to turn him into a mole or something." She walked over to hug him then went out onto the balcony. "We have another portal starting," she called. "Big one too." Loki came to look and shook his head. "Okay, good. More warriors?" she asked him.

"It appears to be some from the Light elves," he agreed. He looked at her. "Have you been in a battle?"

"On the sidelines as a magical support mechanism," she said. "The same as I would be this time." Xander handed her his bag, letting her pull out the small bits of artillery he had shrunk in there. Loki stared at her oddly. She grinned. "I know I'm not a warrior, Loki, but I'm damn helpful when I can do what I can do. Including possibly summoning the stones to me. They won't hurt me."

"True," he agreed, walking off. "The Light elves, Odin." He nodded. They'd show up later to greet them and find their places in battle. He looked at Xander. "The dwarves?"

"They showed up with a fractured stone to have it fixed by their fires. They lost. Darcy really helped with that. The dwarven princess and her heirs still lived as of when we left."

"The stone?" Odin demanded.

"Safely stored by now," he assured him with a smirk. "It was a dwarven God of Crafting that broke off the original stones. They know more about them than anyone. If the ones guarding it can't, they'll come to me. She knows to do that. It's one of her last owed wishes."

Odin nodded at that. "That's reasonable. The dwarves are good at making powerful weapons."

"It's still broken," Xander quipped with a grin. "Therefore not usable by the glove."

Odin relaxed and nodded. "That is good news for future battles."

"I'm more worried he'll show up to help his girlfriend," Dawn admitted. Xander looked back at her. "Seen anything?"

"Not a one about him," he admitted. "Had a vision where Hela shattered the hammer and then a woman who isn't Darcy showed up with it." He looked at Thor. "She was blonde but I couldn't be certain who she was."

"Did you sense her?" he asked.

"Yup, and if I was right, it's Jane Foster." Thor blinked a few times, his mouth opening. "Though she was not speaking to you."

"That...with the curse that may be necessary," he agreed. Valkyrie walked in with a few warriors. "Valkyrie." He nodded at her. "Have you met the warrior Xander yet? He works with the Midgardian Slayers of Demons."

She looked at him and he grinned back. "No comment." He smiled and blew a kiss. "I was recruiting for the battle arena." She rolled her eyes. "His method of stopping that battle was unusual and disturbing."

"I'm not the heathen witch that released the hormone bomb on the battle," he quipped. "I just realized it and got my few people out of there."

"What were you doing?" Dawn asked. "Even I haven't heard about that one, Xander."

"The demon in Mozambique sent us there to get away from her takeover bid. Then had to call us back because the portal that sent us radiated that hormone bomb. The witch sent it over to help us get back there to defeat her plot." He grinned at her and winked. "The two slayers were not amused and the three bad guy assholes we had conscripted for the battle that came with us hated that they were needy enough to fall down screwing killed each other at the end of the battle so they weren't tainted."

Dawn looked at him. "I haven't even heard about a battle in Mozambique outside that one that was a demon commune that got mad at the locals for hating them."

"Well, yeah. Some of those were hidden. Can't you just imagine your sister's face when she finds out an intergalactic witch did a fuck or die spell to stop a battle from another realm?"

Dawn winced, shaking her head. "I can imagine her stroke but her face is pretty solid in non-emotion. Which was the cause of the stroke." She rubbed her forehead. "Usually you don't do this to me." She walked off to get some water from the pot in the corner.

Xander grinned at Sif. "Aren't you glad you missed that one?"

She nodded. "Yes. I would have hated to have ruined many for lesser women by my touch," she said dryly. "Though I have heard of that battle and saw it in scrying. Very well won." He grinned at her before blowing a kiss. She looked at Valkyrie. "That is not the strangest battle he has fought. The rest...are best not talked about in public before someone gets upset." The young warrior woman blushed but nodded at that. Bruce walked in. "Doctor Banner," Sif greeted with a smile and a hand shake. "Are you well today?"

"I'm pretty good. Harris," he said with a nod.

"I just helped defend the dwarves."

"That's good. Is it soon?"

Loki shook his head. "Tomorrow probably."

"That's fine. Let me go back to resting and reading then. Dawn, how's college going?"

"Not too bad. My first semester was pretty decent." She smiled at him. "They hate that I can deal with magical artifacts and found two that they swore up and down were normal aren't. Both are possessed and the they're influencing a few teachers. The administration hated that they had to get someone to come exorcize them. And their wives. And one kid...." He winced. She grinned. "They weren't doing anything to raise power, just having a lot of fun orgies while they made plans. It got a whole sorority shut down for it." He moaned and shook his head. "Not my fault I found it but they're all giving me weird looks." She shrugged, but smiled at him. "At least I found it before they started a world takeover bid."

"True, that's a good thing," he said, patting her on the shoulder, then petting Mortimer on the head. "Have fun and go rest." She nodded, going back to her room to rest for a bit. He went to have a slight headache but thankfully his faster healing gift thanks to the Hulk worked on magic-sized headaches too.

Loki looked at Xander. "Did you gift her with that gift of chaos?"

"She's Buffy's sister, not mine. I just treat her like a sister." He grinned. "That's all on her."

"Perhaps the stones coming into contact with her will help that," Sif said. She looked at Thor. "Darcy did not fully understand how to use your hammer."

"Darcy's more comfortable with support roles than being in the battle itself," Xander said patiently. "The hammer was teaching her."

"She did good for her first battle," Sif said with a smile for him. "Though I know she would rather handle things quietly than be known."

"Yes, she would. And I'd like that for her," Xander agreed. "She hates it when I go into battles. I feel the same way." Sif smiled at him. "Hopefully some day I'll feel the same way about any nieces and nephews I might be given."

"She would make a caring mother," Sif agreed. The other Warriors Three showed up and she nodded at them. "The battle with the dwarves was done with. They are safe."

Hogun smiled. "Thank you, Sif and Xander." He nodded. "Come, I'll show you to where you can rest and clean up." He led Xander off chatting about friends they had in common.

Thor looked at the other two. "Darcy has my hammer temporarily."

Fandral gave him an odd look. "A girl? They don't tend to use hammers in battles. They use bows or short swords. Or they're dwarves who use swords."

"It was training her how to use it as they went," Sif said. "It was her first battle where she fought instead of supported. She did well." She glanced at Thor then at them. "Though Xander's vision had a future wielder who looks much like Jane Foster."

Fandral shuddered. "She would nag much during the battle about science instead of magic."

Thor nodded. "It would probably pause her studying of the stars and the bridge." Heimdall stomped in looking messed up. "You had a fight?" he demanded.

"Quite. With one of Hela's smaller groups," he said with a nod toward Odin. "They were defeated."

"Thank thee, Heimdall," Odin said with a nod back. "Good job." He looked at Loki. "Are you battling or helping the young one?"

"Both," he said. "As needed." He looked at his adoptive father. "Both will probably be needed."

Odin nodded. "Probably true. The others?"

"The Council still refuses to believe," Heimdall said. "They are stubborn and will be put into the battle if we must."

"The orphans and young were taken already and hidden," Sif said. "We did that before we went to handle the dwarves' battle. They should be safe and their location is hidden by multiple means."

"Then some of us may live," Odin said. "Thank thee, Sif." Dawn came jogging in and hauled Odin out of his seat, blasting the magic with some of hers. Loki frowned and came over to test it. "Chit," Odin said firmly.

"Shut up," Dawn ordered. "That's a space portal. Into just space."

Loki tested it and grimaced. "She's right. It was meant to suck you into space, Odin." He took Dawn's hand to cast against the portal, closing it. "Nicely caught, Dawn."

"I felt the magic come up the hallway. Whoever did it is it from outside." She looked at Heimdall, who was staring toward his usual post. "Heimdall?"

He grimaced. "It was from another realm, not one of ours. It came from a corner of the bridge." He stomped off. "Let me go stop that from happening. Thank thee, Dawn."

"Welcome, Heimdall." She smiled at Odin. "Sorry about the grabbing but better being hauled out of your chair than being sent into space, right?" He huffed but nodded. She went back to her room to rest.

Loki looked amused. "She is quite a girl." Odin stared at him. "Not my type," he said dryly, still smirking. "But she is quite amusing." He walked off happier.

Odin shook his head. He was surrounded by some very warping influences but they were all warriors of some sort or another so he knew he could trust them.

***

Loki found Xander in the kitchens late that night, staring at him. "I found a picture of my mother with you. She looked amused."

Xander grinned back at him. "She had a woman eating plant be sent to her for her gardens. I was being nagged by Odin about being a human who had saved a bunch of healers. So I went to kill the plant for her. When I got back to the throne room with her, Odin was still nagging and hadn't realized I had left."

"I've seen him in that mood before," Loki agreed. "Though that was not the picture I spoke of."

Xander chuckled, shaking his head. "Same person who sent the plant." He grinned at the chaos god. "Not our idea and Odin finally went to take out your maternal cousin who wanted to be your mother's replacement pussy for him."

"Charming," Loki said dryly. "Was it good?"

"Very. Mostly." He shrugged. "Wanted details?"

"Only if you want to give me blackmail."

"Nope. Not at the moment." He winked and walked off with his sandwich. "I'll be up just after daybreak if you don't need me sooner."

"That's fine. We think she'll open it late afternoon. The heat would benefit her people more than us swimming in our armor."

"Yes it does. Having a battle in equatorial Africa is not fun and proved that point to me once. The rest of the time I didn't have armor." He took his food back to his room to finish resting and mentally swearing at his sister for volunteering. Darcy was going to find out what being fussed over was like as soon as she got back. Then maybe he'd introduce her to a few warriors he had met, if they survived, so she'd have someone decent to date. Before she followed him into his career of surviving the impossible.

Loki went back to the throne room. Odin was staring outside again at his former wife's garden. Loki summoned the picture and handed it over. "It was given to me by your former advisor."

Odin looked then smiled and tucked it into his shirt pocket. "The spell was warped but your mother put up with cuddling."

"I did not need details unless you wish to share them," he said, smirking at his father when he got glared at. "I asked Xander and he told me about the spell, nothing more."

"Did you smite the one who gave it to you?"

"No, he's got his place in battle tomorrow and I'm not going to waste a warrior. Should he survive I'll make sure he remembers why he has such bad luck." He walked off again.

Odin shook his head but smiled slightly. It was nice Loki was thinking strategically and logically about things. Even if they were trying to divide the family further before the worst battle their people had ever fought. How did one fight Death when it would eventually win?

***

Darcy landed and waved her hand while switching the hammer to the other side. "Ow. Way too strong on the pull still, babe." The hammer wiggled against her leg. "Yup, we're home. Let's go see what we can do to help."

Dawn leaned out a doorway. "Want breakfast, Darce?"

"Please." She walked that way, nodding at a few people.

"The Council has banned you," one of the guards said.

"Yeah but the hammer overrules them," she said, holding it up. He gasped and backed up, making her grin. "She wanted to fight for her people even though some of you cursed her for being happy." She followed Dawn to the kitchen, getting handed an egg sandwich by Sif. "Thank you, Sif." She gave her a one-armed hug. "The stone there is safe. Another being was trying for it but me appearing and landing on top of him helped. It's locked in an idiot proof vault."

Dawn grinned. "That'll hopefully help. He can't use the other type of stone for his gauntlet so he'll probably be at least slightly easier to beat."

"One would hope," Sif agreed. She settled down with her breakfast, waiting until Darcy had swallowed to ask her the important thing. "How is Jane Foster and her babe?" she asked.

Darcy shook her head. "That demon that attacked did poison her. The healer was hopeful but not optimistic. I'm pretty sure she's going to miscarry if she hasn't yet. Which is bumming her, of course, but she's strong and she'll grieve and handle the problems. The one who sent the demon?"

"Dead," Dawn said dryly. "Very, incredibly dead." Darcy grinned at her. The hammer wiggled from where Darcy put it. "It's all right, Mjolnir. We're just refueling for the next battle." It wiggled again. Darcy went to test it and got taken by it. She landed back in Namibia. Jane looked up from a simple math problem that was keeping her calm. It flew over to land in front of Jane so Darcy told her what she had learned about how to fly and fight with the hammer's help. Jane nodded, going to change clothes. Then she came back and the hammer took her, changing her clothes for her. Jane got flown off, adjusting easily enough. Darcy went to shower and rest and swear and cry. It was a good day for it. Dawn looked up as Jane landed and came in to get breakfast. "Hey, Jane. You all right?"

"I'm fine. The healer came back and said I'd be fine. She ended all the problems so I didn't have to suffer."

Dawn looked at her then nodded once. "It's in a sub-realm portal." Jane flinched, staring at her, one hand on her stomach. "It's basically held in stasis, like the bag I put Willow into." She looked at her. "That way nothing you do, outside of death, will interfere. I'm not sure if she'll heal while in there. She probably won't age though."

"So I'm still pregnant but it's hidden?" Dawn nodded, smiling at her. "Thank you, Dawn."

"Just don't get dead and don't get magic sucked."

"I can do that." She sat down, accepting a pear from Sif to eat while they talked about the upcoming battle. Jane had gotten a brief tutorial from the hammer on the way there but nothing too big. Sif could teach her how to use the hammer so she'd be fine for now.

***

In the middle of the battle, Dawn felt Jane be injured and looked over then frowned. Ethics were an inconvenient thing. She decided it was worth it and summoned one of her babies to Jane's chest. It flew over and implanted, making her scream in pain but she was protected and healed. Loki looked over. She shrugged. "It's safer." He nodded once. They went back to fighting Hela's forces. Hela was fighting with Thor for now. Hela broke the hammer that came flying at her but Dawn ran over and touched it, rebuilding it. She petted it. "There, baby. You go back to your human." The hammer flew back to Jane and Dawn faced off with her.

"Had enough now. Death can't always win or there's no more reason for anything to exist, Hela. Nature is a perfect balance for a reason, or it's all gone and no one has anything. Including you." Hela threw something at her and Dawn shrugged as it hit her. She waved a hand, making it disappear. "You won't win against me, Hela. I'm immortal in a few different ways," she said quietly. "Even if you did, my babies would get you back for it." The ones nearby all came at her call and Hela gasped, backing away. "Your time is done. Your function of thinning the arrogant has ended. Begone, Hela, so Nature can rebuild." She sent Hela off again with the power of the stones. Then she passed out.

Willow nearly passed out. "I'm so glad I had her mother possess her," she panted.

Sif glared at her. "Her mother had been reborn, Rosenburg. That means you killed an innocent to get their souls."

Willow looked up. "The rest were dead if I didn't." Sif went to check on Dawn but Xander was. Willow sent a fire spell at Hela's forces and they burned. She got knocked out by Hogun before she got anyone else.

Sif found the duo and squatted down. "Willow had her possessed by her mother."

Xander sighed but nodded. "I'm going to smite that witch some day." He looked up. "Dawn will be fine."

"Good. Let's get her evacuated to somewhere safe. Where's Jane Foster? I heard her scream."

"Dawn summoned a stone to protect her." He pointed at where she was glowing but grimacing at her chest. "I'll tend to Dawn later if you have someone put her into bed."

"I can do thus." She got Dawn carried inside. She had protected the greater majority of the troops on their side.

Xander walked over to Jane, looking at the stone nestled in the top of her armor. "It's the void stone," he said quietly, staring at her. "Dawn sent it to protect you."

"How do I mute the glow?"

"You ask it nicely. It's mostly sentient. If it was a bit more powerful it could create itself a new body to hide in but not a fully human one. It might be someone's cat though."

Jane grimaced less this time. "That's nice I guess. I've never had a pet." She poked the stone. "We're glowing and drawing attention." The stone quit glowing. "Thank you." She looked around then at Xander. "Dawn rebuilt the hammer."

"Yeah. Willow had her possessed."

Jane shook her head quickly. "Let me go get a damp cloth to clean the sweat off with." She took the hammer with her. Odin got in her way. She blinked at him. "Yes, Odin?"

"The one who wields the hammer is my heir," he noted calmly. He was clearly injured.

"I don't want your seat, Odin. I'd hate to have to put up with all the bullshit you and Thor do." He smiled and tipped his head. "You need to have those looked at."

"I'm an old warrior, Jane Foster."

She decided to act like Darcy, grabbing him by his ear and walking him off to the healers. "He's just said he's an old warrior and doesn't want to take care of his injuries."

"Many who grieve have those times," a healer said with a nod. "Are you well, Thor?"

"I'm not Thor."

"The one who wields the hammer is Thor," she told her firmly. "Even if it is his wife instead."

"So there's two Thors now?" Jane asked. The healer nodded. "So weird. I have no idea but I'm only barely injured. Thank you." She walked off. Thor was being treated for his injuries by Valkyrie. The magic users were all around Dawn, except Loki, so she broke that up and drove them off. Dawn got taken back to her rooms and Jane decided to nap on her couch for now. It was probably safer for Dawn. Her little kraken buddy that had been hidden in the bathroom came out to check on them both, settling on his human to cuddle and protect her.

Thor looked up as a warrior guard stomped over. "The healers have taken over the palace," he told him.

"Your father lives," he said.

"I saw. It gladdens my heart." He shifted with a wince. "We lost many but not all of us and those who were evacuated are safe."

The warrior nodded. "The one who holds your hammer rescued the witch."

"Excellent. The ones who were bothering Dawn are probably those who cursed me so I cannot hold my hammer and lost my wife."

The warrior winced. "We can gather them, Prince Thor."

"I can gather them later," he assured him. "And I shall."

"Thank you. We will clean up the fields." He went to spread that news. The ones who had attacked the witches were knocked out and shoved in a room together. A healer could go treat them but wasn't going to save them. One tried but was stopped harshly and permanently for trying to free the enemies of Asgard.

Thor looked at Valkyrie. "Thank thee for the stitching help, Valkyrie," he said quietly.

"It's no problem, Thor. Are they coming back?"

"I hope not." He stopped her from moving. "It is your right to reside up here should you wish it to be so," he said, staring at her. "We would not mind those with sense being around." She smiled, shaking her head slightly. "Should you need to, come back to us and we will help if we can."

"I will." She left, going back to her usual duties. Her boss was flustered and angry but it was not her fault.

Thor leaned against the planter he was resting against, looking around. Loki stopped in front of him. "Someone saved Dawn."

"I was heading there when I saw Jane do so. She rests with Dawn for now."

"That's good. They can talk and calm each other down." He stood up with a groan, holding his side. "We must gather the fallen to honor."

"They are. You are needed to be a leader though." Thor nodded, walking off, letting Loki follow. When he didn't, he hauled him by his arm. "I do not need to be there."

"Shut up, Brother."

"Fine. I can put up with the looks yet again."

Thor looked at him. "If they hate you for that, they are weak minded," he said loudly enough to be overheard.

"They have many reasons to hate me, Thor."

He shrugged. "They have reasons to hate me as well. They can move if they don't like it here." He found his father in the throne room. "Father, are you well?"

"Well enough, Thor. That young one dragged me to a healer." Loki smirked at him. "I do find myself liking her more and more as I get to know her." He settled on his throne. "Now what?"

"We rest, we recover, we honor the fallen," Thor reminded him. "Then we move forward to live without the ones who have been lost. The same as we do after every battle. This one was just worse and will rend Asgard for many years to come."

Odin stared at his son. "You have started toward wisdom."

"I only repeat what Mother told you after an earlier battle, Father."

Odin smiled. "I remember and her then hitting me with a pillow because that was all that was hand and she didn't want to break her hand." Both boys smiled at that memory. "Go rest and clean up."

"Nay, we are your sons and we will stand beside you," Thor told him. "It is our job and our honor to do so."

Odin nodded. "Later, Thor. For now, finish getting treated and clean up."

"If it were time for that, you'd be doing the same," Thor reminded him, staring at him.

"You are much like your mother, son."

Thor smirked. "Of course I am. She raised us well." Odin nodded once, going with him to the royal section of the palace to clean up and rest. The brothers did the same and came out to oversee things. Odin came out later to finish the oversight duties as a figurehead of Asgard. He had cut his hair so it was now shorter and he was looking calm. Those who could look into his eye saw the fury there but it was normal for him.

***

Dawn woke up with a groan. "What the fuck?"

"Some of the mages wanted to do something to you so I shooed them off," Jane said, barely awake on the couch. "We're in your rooms."

"Thanks, Jane." She sat up, petting Mortimer since he was tentacle wavy again. "Good boy, Mortimer. Thank you for protecting us." He cuddled her. She went to draw a bath so she could clean up and cuddle her kraken. Jane was grinning when she came out. "Go clean up, Jane. You're bleeding again on the left side." Jane got up with a groan, going to do that. Dawn handed her something to put on when she came out. "Shouldn't be too too big on you. I'm not busty like Darcy is."

"Thanks." They finished dressing and walked out together. Thor smiled at them. She nodded. The hammer zapped her when she tried to talk to him. She sighed, staring at him. He grinned slightly and left it there. The hammer could protect her from that curse on him. She and Dawn bowed to Odin, who nodded back. "Can we help more, Odin?" Jane asked.

"You were both of immense help and we thank you, ladies." He looked at her then at Dawn. "The witch that had you possessed by your mother during the battle is presently with our academy. They can help her with her issues we think." Dawn grinned slightly. "Your sister battles soon."

"I'll go to her in a bit, Odin. Is there anything else I can do to help?"

"Nay, Dawn. You have helped a great many things. Including bringing some light to some dark people." She bowed slightly. "Go rest and then go to help your sister with your brother sort. He is worried about you."

"The ones who had her?" Jane asked him.

"They are presently at the same school hiding but the ones there know to find out what they had planned and stop them," Thor told her. She nodded when the hammer zapped her again. He looked at the hammer. "The curse is quiet today, Mjolnir. Relax some."

"The curse is waiting," Dawn corrected. "It's like a wall."

Thor nodded. "I can feel thus but for now it's fine." He looked at Odin then at Loki so he could say things for him without getting Jane hurt.

"If you wish to go out and do Thor things, be safe, Jane Foster," Loki said more quietly.

"Thank you," she said. "I have no idea what the hammer is planning."

Loki smirked. "Plotting is usually more apt in the case of that hammer. It's a bit...fussy now and then." She smirked at him. "Our new Thor has the blessings of the crown to do as she must."

"Yes, she does," Odin agreed. "Obviously she is worthy." He smiled at her. "Be safe when you travel. Many who are not worthy to even breathe on her want her."

"I've seen that before but I'll protect her as best as I can."

"Good. Thank you for your help, ladies." They bowed and left together. Dawn going back to her apartment with Mortimer and her notes. Jane going to Namibia to check on Darcy. Which got her pulled in to help a local slayer defeat a demon who wanted to woo her.

Odin looked at his elder son. "It is a hard thing when the Fates work against you."

"We wed on Midgard, Father," he said quietly. "Because at that time she carried my daughter."

"She still does but it's tucked away," Loki said. "I could fell the spell on her stomach. They've hidden it so the babe could heal, Thor." Thor slumped but nodded. "So some day perhaps your daughter will come into being anyway."

"Mayhap," he agreed. He looked at his father again. "The Light Elves left a bit ago."

"It was good of them to help us and not tax us with political niceties," Odin said. "Hopefully no more problems will come from her peoples."

"Only her lover awaits his turn as far as we have heard," Loki said. Odin stared at him. "He wants his gauntlet to amuse his lover. Hopefully for now she is resting with him so he can baby her injuries." Odin grimaced. "The Mad Titan has plans, Odin All Father."

"As you heard when he had you possessed," Thor said. Loki tipped his head slightly. "Should I go help my brethren on Midgard?"

"They can do that and you do not have a superior weapon any longer," Odin reminded him.

Thor stared at him. "That has not mattered when a battle was called that was necessary. I've awoken in time to hear horns and had to attend a battle in sleep clothes and without more than a piece of wood for our fires. Though that has been many years," he agreed when Loki burst out laughing. "At least you were still awake so had clothes on."

"Mostly dressed, yes. You in your underwear may have stopped the battle sooner by scaring some of them, Thor."

"They stared in awe, not horror," he shot back with a grin. Loki smirked at him.

Odin rolled his eye. "Take training time, Thor, then go help your battle friends."

"Yes, Father." He went to the palace's guard's head. "I need training time to remember how to fight without my hammer."

"Aye, you do," he agreed. "And we have heard that your friends battle again soon."

"Against the Mad Titan," Thor agreed. "Did Jane take training with Mjolnir?"

"Sif worked with her so she had a good idea of how to use her in battles, Thor."

"Thank thee and I'll thank her later."

"Thank me after we kick you around in training. The ring is not heavily used today. Report there and I'll send down warriors." Thor nodded, going there. He got his best trainers down there. The prince would need the training. He hadn't used a sword since he was a youngling learning how to battle.

***

Darcy got escorted back to Avengers tower, going to where everyone was. Bruce sat down with a huff. Clint settled into a chair. Darcy paused the tv feed, looking at the group. "Thor's lost his hammer," she announced. Stark sat up, staring at her. "Due to the curse that some of his people put on him, he can't talk to Jane, can't get near Jane, can't use his hammer because it tainted him. So instead I let her use me for a few days while Jane healed after an attack that tried to kill her." She swallowed. "I'm going to go back to my backup and support role if that's okay." Stark nodded slowly. "Before the large battle on Asgard against Hela, Mew Mew and I came back and she took Jane with her. I only volunteered because Jane was halfway to miscarrying and needed the rest. And I'm not volunteering for anything ever the hell again." She stared at Natasha then at Stark. "So there's a new Thor named Jane."

Stark blinked a few times and looked at the others then at her. "So Jane's got the hammer and cape and hat?" Darcy nodded, sitting down with a sigh. "Is she all right?"

"She got drawn to help the slayer down there. We got to talk for about five minutes after she got home." She swallowed again. "They won against Hela. Thor, the male one, lives and is slightly injured. The same as Odin and Loki are." A few of them nodded. "Jane had a few good injuries but was healing all right."

"Does the hammer like her daughter?" Natasha asked.

Darcy shook her head. "No, no daughter." Natasha sighed but nodded. "We got attacked by someone who wanted to be petty and tried to have Jane killed by a poisonous demon. We got it down and they weren't sure but she was miscarrying when I picked up the hammer to help her."

"That sucks," Stark said. "Is she okay otherwise?"

"Confused. The hammer's super overprotective and a bit bossy." She grinned slightly. "It taught me how to use it as we flew off to my first battle. I'm *so* getting nagged about that because we ran into my brother protecting dwarves."

"Did they win against Hela on Asgard?" Steve asked. Darcy nodded. "That's good then."

"The hammer switched to Jane that morning. I was having a pre-battle breakfast with Dawn and Lady Sif when it wanted to change over." She looked at Bruce. "I need to pack up Jane's notes before I figure out what I'm doing. That way only she can get into it. I know a few are in your lab."

"We can lock it here so no one can get into it," Stark said.

"I didn't get a chance to ask Jane about that, Stark. I'm not sure what sort of access she'd want anyone to have."

"We'll put it in a safe and ask her when she shows up," Stark assured her. "As for super intern jobs, we'll see what you can find." He grinned. "No one else understands how to deal with my geek squad." Darcy grinned back. "Pep?"

"I don't have a problem with that, Tony. Darcy's proved she's a good assistant." She crossed her legs. "What about our Thor?"

"I figure he'll be back some day but I have no idea what weapons he'll be using," she admitted. She frowned and looked at Bruce. "Did we remember to get Fury out of the closet?"

"Yup," Clint said with a grin. "We did last night. He got handed to some of the SHIELD people." He looked at the others. "The demon that showed up to poison Jane was nasty to kill."

Natasha grimaced. "Beheading?"

"Head was on the chest, no neck," Clint told her. "I ended up using an exploding arrow too close to anyone to kill it."

"I've got to work on some better weapons for that," Stark agreed. "So, we've got a few big things to think about. Can Jane handle a battle?"

"She sure did apparently," Darcy quipped. "It was her first as a warrior instead of an aggravated girlfriend."

"Point. Dawn said that Odin thanked them both."

"She was there?" Pepper asked.

"Yeah. Apparently she's a bit powerful but doesn't use it." Darcy shrugged. "She told me Mortimer was in her room hiding just in case. That and that Willow had called her mother back from being reborn to possess her. So Willow's at some version of Hogwarts on Asgard with the mages who tried to attack Dawn after the battle so they all get straightened out." She flopped down. "I think that it may have held Thanos off by a bit. A lot of the stones he wanted showed up at the battle. They all helped Dawn when she banished Hela again, after getting possessed by her former mother." She grimaced. "Which was a screwy plan thanks to Willow."

"Your brother?" Tony asked.

"As far as I know he's all right. No one's told me anything and I'd have heard if he was more than just injured. I hope. I'm pretty sure Lady Sif would've told me. She's the only one that didn't suggest I screw my little brother," she said dryly. "Even before she knew."

"That's still weird to think about," Tony said. "So...we're not sure when Thanos is coming but he's still probably coming?"

"You'd have to ask Dawn that. Or maybe the original Thor." She shrugged. "I'm just a messenger. No one told me the important parts, just the gossip."

"We can hopefully find out when your brother shows up."

Darcy looked at her phone then texted her little brother, who sent back 'sleeping'. She sent another one. He answered that one. "Xander's injured, of course, and he's hating his leg's injury the most. Apparently someone with a grody sword got him on it so he's fighting off an infection with a healer. And possibly Heimdall, not sure where he ended up either and that's a quote." Another text came in. "He is still coming. Xander had a vision late last night. He's got Hela to baby her injuries and it made him really mad."

She looked up. "But he said it'll take months for him to manage to steal the blood that the mages on Asgard took from Dawn to sacrifice her." She sent Dawn a quick text message, forwarding that on. She sent back a 'thanks' with wavy tentacles. "Dawn's warned so that means they won't have to take her out to get the heart's blood they'll need to unlock him." She looked up and sighed. "Jane's wearing a very pretty necklace. She said Dawn sicced it on her." Bruce grinned and nodded. "One of them?"

"The void holding one. It won't go in the gauntlet," Bruce said. "I asked to make sure."

"That's good. She's got normal Thor level of danger instead of worse," Clint quipped. "She's fussing at the helmet too."

"It's bothering her hair when she's got it pulled up," Darcy said. "If it's down it's a bit easier but it's also too big. We've got to get the poor lady some foam to make it fit right and quit wobbling on her head. She said the vibrations threw off her flight." She grinned at Stark. "The hammer had me taken to where Groot is." He moaned, shaking his head. "Where there's some scary powerful beings, who are probably good. And not whiny!" she said with a grin. "They're protecting things. I landed on top of the bad guy they were fighting so that helped. They even thanked me for it." She grinned. "They might show up to help. Dawn did warn them of all this stuff in case they came out up there."

"So we might be getting intergalactic help," Bruce said then grinned. "Has to be better than the battle ring." He glared at Stark, whose portal had sent him there. Tony shifted but didn't apologize. He looked at Darcy. "Not fussy at all?"

"No. I got a 'nice landing' from one, got helped up by him, and he smiled. He thanked me for the help. I told him what was going on and he groaned a bit but said they'd handle it like usual and then they'd go hide from the Nova Corps again." She shrugged. "I asked who they were and he said huge police force on one planet. And some super being they made who leads them apparently." She smiled. "Groot was cute and helpful. He caught my boot being untied and redid it for me so I hugged the little guy. He's a tiny Groot at the moment."

Bruce nodded once. "That's kinda weird. Did he shrink?"

"I think he got split off."

"Huh." Bruce nodded again. "Interesting but it's good he's still alive. Did you visit anywhere else?"

"Two other places. I talked to a World Destroyer. Who was more gruff than Steve at two in the morning after a week-long mission without sleep. He vowed if Hela or Thanos showed up there, he'd even help their enemies defeat them because he was not going to fall to a Mad Titan. And yeah, capitalized. Oh, and my first and only battle, I helped defend the dwarves." She grinned. "They're nice. Great warriors with swords and stuff. My brother looked right at home with his battle axe, but a bit too tall. Though I saw the princess's twins love on him a few times when he showed up to save us. They apparently think he's the sliced cheese of the universe. He even defeated a demon while holding one."

"Probably dangerous," Pepper said while Tony went 'Awww' about that.

"I don't think whoever sent him considered the baby," Darcy admitted. "But she was still all cooing and loving on his ID tag necklace and his dagger." She grinned.

Xander appeared, leaning down to look over his sister's head. "Dwarves are excellent warriors."

"I saw that and I agree. You looked good with them." She grinned up at him. "Should I help you baby your injuries?"

"No but you can help me do an inventory of my vault. Someone said they got into one of them and we're not sure how or who."

"I can do that. I'm super at it," she quipped, pulling him around to sit next to her. "Leg, dear?" He showed her. It was a mass of stitches. "Eww."

"It happens," he said. "Some are a few days older." He cuddled her against his side. "Dawn should be fine."

"Rosenburg of the Great Menace Society?"

"I'm sure Snape or whoever will release her some day soon," he said dryly.

"I got told that the ones who attacked Dawn took some blood. So they're guarding that."

"Huh. Yeah, might be a great idea. Though it does mean she can hide for that battle. Before I have to smite Willow for calling her mom back again." He gave his sister a squeeze then looked at the others. "Thor lives. He's a bit injured but he was walking and even cracked a joke that night. His brother and father both live too." Most of them nodded. "Half of Asgard survived. They sent off the vulnerable beforehand so they're okay. I hope. As far as I know they're okay."

"I told them about the guys with Groot when I landed on their bad guy," Darcy said, grinning up at him.

"Yeah, actual heros who aren't complaining about groupies or anything," Xander told them, nodding slightly with a grin. "No one wants to kidnap them, or to get them on their side. They're like Han Solo only a team. With a green lady who can kick Buffy's ass." He smiled. "And blue people who are pretty decent at the warrior thing too."

"If someone green shows up or a lot of blue people we'll know where they came from," Bruce said. "Though I did meet one of the blue people at the battle ring. Very strong warriors. May not have been the same sort of blue person though. Not sure how many there are out there."

"So someday soon all the paranoid assholes who think that Thor's an alien and here to gather a cult to save while he kills the rest of us are going to freak out at the fact that there's real aliens who could possible do that. Sure," Clint said with a grin for the siblings. "I want popcorn that day but to be way, way up high away from the stupid ones. They might panic and start shooting each other and miss."

Natasha snorted, nodding. "You and I can sit up on top of a building with binoculars."

"You, hell, I want to be in another country," Darcy told her with a smile. "Because there's probably that sort of alien out there too and who knows if they might show up to help. Because Thanos would be an all hands on deck thing probably, right?" The whole team nodded and Pepper winced. "So it's entirely possible we'll get some bad with some good. Oh, and demigods," she said, staring at her brother. Who just smiled. "How did you meet a Greek demigod?"

"In a bar. He flirted then hated himself for it when he realized I wasn't a warrior wench he hadn't bedded yet." He sucked in some spit with a clicking mouth noise. "Guy's not that great and he has anger issues. So does his half-brother Ares. Who, by the way, is in Italy at the moment." He grinned at the teammates. "They'll show up too I'm pretty sure."

"Like God of War?" Pepper demanded, sitting up.

"SHIELD knows about 'em," Darcy said. "I met Artemis. It's in my files and the agent that came to get her hungover butt from my bed, way too early in the morning I might add, didn't look shocked or anything about who she was."

"She's a great shot and has one hell of a tolerance," Xander said. "I was across the bar and Darcy didn't realize it. Artemis put away two shots to each of Darcy's and they did that drink special proud that night. I even paid off the tab since the guy who challenged them passed out way before they did. It only took him a pint. It took Darcy a bottle."

"College," she sighed, shaking her head but smiling. "And sometimes when the science wouldn't answer her."

He gave her a squeeze. "You'll see Jane again. You know you will and you'll get to remind her to eat too. I doubt she's figured out how to fuel a warrior's body because it's a bit different than what a scientist who sits and thinks all day needs."

Darcy nodded. "I was so hungry after that one battle."

"We can share those tips with Jane when she shows up," Stark said. "Though it'll be weird seeing her in armor instead of a sloppy shirt."

Xander's phone rang so he pulled it out to look at it. "I was right. Someone did magically summon some information from my vault but it looks like stuff I got off the poker circuit."

Steve looked at him. "Anything compromising that could hurt the team?"

"No, I think it was the stuff on some super bad ideas in the making and the one who had the addicted witch summon it for him wanted to take them out for trying to take out one of his claimed people." He answered and put his phone back into his shirt pocket. "Saves me some work so I'm okay with that but if he had asked I might've shared that part."

"Is it hard to get witches addicted to their powers?" Natasha asked.

"Actually, there's magic dealers," Xander told her. He shifted some. "Willow got addicted to the rush of the power as it moved through her but she also went to a magic dealer to get shots of black magic to supposedly clear her of hellmouth taint. Others have went to magic dealers for various reasons. There's also street drug addicts who can do magic. Not all of the drugs out there will block it. That particular witch has a meth problem.

"Admittedly hooked by her pimp, who just texted me, and then she discovered she had magic so he's babying her so she's not lost too soon since he sees her as super useful right now." Natasha grimaced and shuddered a bit. "She was in Lesotho when he found her. Poor village. Poor ideas about women's rights. She can't have kids so she wasn't going to be getting married. Her family probably got a small profit for taking that supposed burden from them but it's a horrible thing and something I'd like to help end.

"That guy, he does protect an area. He's got warriors and a few others who use magic to protect a rather large area. He's never going to touch a slayer or a witch that I've worked with. We made an agreement on that, but if he finds another addicted witch he'd take them in. It's stupidly horrible shit but at least I can count on him to jump into battles if we're having one that's so huge I need more help than I can blackmail into it."

"He's an unfortunate resource and you're still finding ways of getting people free," Darcy reminded him.

"Yeah, basically. I've even talked to the local groups down there that would help women taken in as slaves. They said they can't handle the addiction part and the women know if they want to leave all they have to do is call me and I'll show up to help as soon as I can. Two have done that and one denied it but I removed her anyway and let her detox. Then I helped her get to a safer city so she could start a new life and work on her addictions." He shifted to cross his feet. "I'm one guy and I do what I can but sometimes the horrible things are actually helpful during horrible times and then you deal with the horrible things."

Natasha nodded. "You'd have to handle the bigger problems first. Their pipeline?"

"He has a chemist he blackmailed from a college," Xander said dryly. "So he has copies of the recipes. If someone who is so high they can barely see can make it, any one of his guards or he could. I've tried but that's a problem I'm going to have to leave for later while I'm dealing with hell gods and the like."

"Slavery's bad but the rest of humanity going to a hell god as slaves or food is worse," Darcy agreed. Xander nodded, frowning at his hands. "Hey. You're *a* guy. You're doing the work of dozens of people. Quit beating yourself up for that."

"I do. I know that." He gave her a squeeze with the arm around her shoulders. "Thanks."

"Welcome." She looked at them. "There's worse out there."

Xander nodded. "I ended one that was harvesting organs from kids last month." Steve shuddered, grimacing at the end. "I do what I can when I can."

"I agree, that's all anyone could do," Tony agreed. "I know there's groups that work with former slaves."

"They have psych help, barely any medical help for injuries or pregnancies, and they're overcrowded," Xander said. "They could double in size in some areas and still be overcrowded."

"One I did some freelance writing for could help about fifty women at a time," Darcy told them. "And they probably had a huge amount they could've used the space to help. I was helping them write reports for the UN and other agencies who wanted status updates and the like for funding. One of our professors hooked us up with them, she does it every year with various charities."

Tony looked at Pepper. "Do we donate to any of them?"

"I think we do. I'm going to check into that tomorrow." She looked at Xander. "Is it a widespread problem?"

"Maybe up to ten percent of the entire continent of Africa," he admitted. "Depends on the area for how strong of a problem it is. Some are multinational, some only work in a small area. Some work with war slaves, who were taken as prizes of war or kidnaped by war bands. Some work with the kids who're taken as soldiers, some can't."

"I'll look into them tomorrow," Pepper decided.

"Look into groups like Heifer International," Darcy suggested. "They take donations to buy villages animals that not only can help with food issues but also let the villagers make some money on top of it. Things like goats so they're able to be milked but also sheered so they can be knit from. Or bees to help with crops."

"I've barely heard of them but I can look them up too," Pepper agreed, smiling at her. "You two should go rest. Xander looks like he's about to fall over."

"Yeah," he admitted, nodding some. "But that's a post-battle and post-vision crash. It's about normal. I've had battles in this state before, then I had to really sleep." Darcy stood up and pulled him up, walking him off. "Night, all."

"Night," Bruce and Tony called. They all looked at each other.

"I thought that was a thing of the past," Steve said quietly.

"We all wish," Bruce said. "Ten percent in some areas is a really lowball number." He stood up. "Let me go rest too." He went to his rooms to think. He had worked in some of the same areas Xander had. He almost missed doing that sort of work.

The others broke up to do what they needed to do for the rest of the night.

***

Darcy and Xander were out the next morning going for a cheap breakfast neither one wanted to cook when they ran into an idiot reporter. Xander rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses. Darcy just put hers on.

"What do you say that the US is being protected by a demon," she demanded, getting into their faces with her camera right over her shoulder. She pushed a microphone into their faces. "We know you've seen it."

"What demon?" Darcy asked. She looked up at Xander.

"The only one I knew was Angel, and he was a vampire who won a reward afterlife for being the champion for the Powers That Be. The higher beings over slayers." He shrugged then winced, rubbing his sore arm. He had slept on it funny and that twinge proved it. "What are you panicking people about now?" he demanded.

"You're Council," she sneered.

"Retired," Xander agreed. "So?"

"That *team* works with a demon!"

"No. Not that I've seen," Darcy said. "I've been a science intern now for a bit and I haven't seen a single demon." She looked at Xander. Who shook his head, looking confused.

"That ....Hulk," she said with a shudder.

"He's not a demon, lady," Darcy said. "And I use that term loosely with you. Actually, you should be pushing him as the anti-drug since his was caused by someone else screwing with his lab's equipment right before an experiment. That's what happens when funky chemicals get into your body." She walked around her. "Beyond that, Bruce has *great* control of himself and he's the nicest guy who ever lived. Even when you break stuff around him he doesn't do more than flinch and huff a bit." She looked back. "Quit trying to turn innocents into evils. It's not only the mark of propaganda but also the mark of a fanatic who's lost their minds."

"What she said," Xander agreed, following her. "And quit jumping out at me before I feel the need to defend myself by punching you. I'll gladly take the trial for self defense since I'm not so sure *you're* not a partial demon, woman." They walked into Darcy's coffee shop and got breakfast, sitting in the back. By the time they were finished that reporter was out there getting huffy. Darcy looked at the owner, who pointed with a grin. She gave him a tip on her way to the back door with Xander following while slurping his coffee. They went back to the tower and to her apartment to rest for a while longer. They had to figure out what Darcy was going to do now. Not like they could depend on a job here without Jane.

***

Stark ran into Darcy in the kitchen that night, staring at her. "That reporter is a rabid idiot. She's still ranting that you ran from her."

"No, we had breakfast." She grinned slightly. "We did avoid her on the way back before one of us had to punch her in the face." She looked at him before going back to her precise application of jelly. "She wanted to know how we felt about the Hulk supposedly being a demon."

"He heard and went to meditate for a few hours."

"Did they cut the statement where he's not?"

"No, it showed. Then they asked their viewers, who hadn't thought of that option, but agreed he was a great anti-drug statement. They decided most beings who changed into scary demons had horns."

"A lot do," she agreed. "But not all, and they wouldn't care if they were naked either." She put together the sandwich and grinned at him. "We can go on a public forum rant about her if you want."

"Please do. She's so stupid it made Pepper's brain hurt." He looked her over. "Have a good day off?"

"I was sorting through the stuff I had of Jane's so I could do the wash and pack most of it up. My baby bro was hefting and toting for me."

"That's good. I guess she won't be needing all her clothes and stuff."

"Probably not," she agreed. "I'll do Thor's apartment tomorrow. I've already got one box of her notes and stuff I was transcribing started."

"That's fine," he agreed. "You can do the lab the day after that. Then go take the employment test or whatever for Pepper." He walked off.

"Thanks," she called after him. She took the sandwich with her to Thor's room, looking at stuff. Jane's notes had to be boxed up first. And she did leave a note for Thor about where things were in case she got one of his t-shirts by accident. They had a lot of boxing up to do in here, more than a day's worth probably. Xander took her hand to eat a bite of the sandwich then let her have the rest. "Thanks." She finished it and they went back to boxing up Jane's stuff so it was easier on her and Thor. When she came to the notebook of stuff, it went into a special envelope then into the box of science stuff. That way they'd know if someone got into them.

***

Darcy leaned out of the lab when she heard Bruce the day she was cleaning the lab. "Hey. Where does Stark have space in a vault for her boxes of science and possibly the machines?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "He's talking with Pepper about the business. All done?"

"Mostly. I'm trying not to take some of the machines apart again. I'm not sure if we can get them back together easily without the US's supply of duct tape for a decade." She let him see. "That's four boxes of science stuff, including all her results and her laptop. There's another three in my apartment from the stuff I had and Thor's apartment."

"I would've figured her for more."

"It's all under her hair," Darcy said with a grimace. "Then she'd forget half of it because she didn't write it down. Or the napkin she had to use got wet." He smiled but patted her on the back. "I need one of those pod things for all the machines and her clothes and stuff."

"I'm not sure what sort of storage we have around here," he admitted. "Though I'd never want her research anywhere unmonitored. Someone might get into it when they stole her shirts."

"I don't think too many could fit into her shirts around here. We seem to have a run on busty assistants." She frowned then let it clear up into a grin. "I guess it makes the female scientists tougher that way."

"Probably when they have to smack around men who think they're all breast and no brains," Bruce agreed. "Let me ask Stark about that and the machines." He went to text him. Tony was more likely to answer a text than a phone call. He came back. "He said we have no room for the machines and he has no idea what most of them measure or do, so he's not sure if she can't get better when she quit being Thor."

"If she quits being Thor," Darcy reminded him. "I'm pretty sure she's not immortal thanks to the hammer."

"I didn't think about that. Are the machines something you can't remake?"

"Um, about half are Jane's cobbled together messes of measuring equipment she didn't think she could find in reality without making it." She grimaced at Tony as he came up the hallway. "Half of them aren't available."

"Damn." He came in. "Okay, explain to me what each one does and I'll figure out if we have to store it or can take it apart and reuse the parts."

"Jane made them all because she couldn't get regular ones but sure." She came over to start at the first one. "Spatial radiation meter and measures spatial pressure somehow." Tony's face got a squishy/cramped look and then he sighed. "If you tune it this way," Darcy said, turning it on to do that. "It shows how much pressure is between atoms and the like in the air plus wherever she put the other sensor, which is probably on the roof. When the Rainbow Bridge comes down, this one goes haywire because the bridge compresses atoms." She looked at him.

Tony stared at the readings then looked up. Then at her. "How did Jane come up with this?"

"She's Jane?" she guessed then shrugged but grinned. "Jane's just Jane, Stark."

"Point. Are the rest this complex and necessary?"

"Well, two are really old, shitty computers," she quipped with a point. "That I've removed all our files from and did a disc cleaning after I made sure it's all erased. They could probably be donated to a museum."

He looked and nodded. "Yes they could. Saved all the information?"

"On the drive on Jane's laptop," she said with a point. "And her backup."

"Okay, that's wise. How much other stuff does she have?"

"She and I took up all the travel coach's room outside the couches and a small walkway to the bathroom and kitchen when we moved up here and were hauling a u-haul trailer sort for the machine parts. She's got seven boxes of science stuff and the machines. The rest of her clothes and the like are in Thor's closet in boxes for now and she's got another eight in there thanks to buying new stuff when I made her. Plus boyfriend t-shirt and nightie presents."

"So seven boxes and a lot of machines." He looked around again then looked at the coffee maker. "Speaking of ancient relics."

"She adored that thing and fixed it twice instead of buying a new coffee maker. She said the newer ones burned the coffee on her."

"I can agree with that sometimes. Is that being stored?"

"Yup, I'm putting it into Thor's closet last. Or into my kitchen, one of the two."

"That's fine, Darcy." He patted her on the arm. "I'll definitely have room for the seven boxes." She pointed. "They aren't that large. The machines..."

"We need one of those POD things for moving," Darcy agreed. "Two I know you can replace. I was working on the grant paperwork for her to buy two new machines." She pointed at them. "She'd have to find a way to tinker one function she'd be losing but I think she can get that from something else. I'm pretty sure that's why one has a taped on meter off to the side."

Tony nodded. They were large machines but not the largest or the most duct-taped ones. "These are all messy."

"They work," Darcy reminded him. "We can get into them if she needs to fix something again or we have to get in there to recalibrate after an earthquake."

Bruce walked over to look at them. "Have any other of her interns worked on these?"

"She's only had me, and for a bit Ian, who was technically my intern. Erik, Dr. Selvig, helped her create some of the machines I think but I can't be sure and he's only half here because of the thing with Loki. Last I heard he was studying somewhere that him not wearing pants wasn't a problem for the natives."

"I remember him," Bruce said, walking away from one. "This one has a scorch mark. Burned?"

"Thor zapped it one night because it was reading alternate realities instead of this one. He had accidentally poured beer in it. It was reading a D&D world with elves. Jane nearly had a thunderstorm over her head when she realized why it was reading another world. She had thought we were about to open a different sort of space portal."

Tony shook his head quickly to clear the bad thoughts. "For now I'll leave this as Jane's lab so no one has to jiggle the machines. Let's put her stuff in the vault."

Darcy stared at him. "SHIELD won't have access, right?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "We'd all hate for them to open the bridge."

"Her work is applicable to other portals," Bruce reminded him. "Like with the tentacles."

Darcy nodded. "And I'm pretty sure she'd hate them using her research as a way to remove a group of people from the earth so they don't have to deal with them."

"SHIELD wouldn't," Stark said. "They haven't yet."

"They don't have access to Jane's stuff and yes they have," Darcy said, pulling out her phone to get onto a site her brother had shown her. "Here. One of the not-quite-fully-SHIELD groups."

He skimmed it, frowning. "That's heinous." He handed the phone back. "No. No one gets into that vault without my authority and while I'd like to send HYDRA off I'd never make us enemies by making another peoples deal with them."

"Thanks. I know she'd worry."

"I'd worry too," he admitted. "Especially after having seen that." He helped her heft and tote the boxes. Bruce got the laptop bag, giving the lighter weight a look then Darcy, who grinned. Tony glanced at Bruce, who only put the bag on top of a box. "She have a note where her laptop is?"

"Yup. It's with me," Darcy quipped. "It'll be in Xander's vault later this week."

"That's sensible," Bruce agreed. "This building could get attacked again."

Tony nodded. "Buildings are fragile targets sometimes." They sealed the vault and Darcy walked off. He looked at Bruce. "Think she could handle some of our other wacky ones?"

"Probably. She already was." He shrugged. "Let Pepper find her a spot."

"I'm going to. Lewis, employment tests," he called after her.

"I did last night online, Stark."

"I'll let Pepper know," he said, texting that to her.

"I'm going to help Xander with his vault inventory tonight then I'm free tomorrow to interview or whatever else I have to take."

"Good to know." He added that to the text. She said she found them in the HR system and she was overqualified. If she had taken the last few classes for those degrees, she'd be more hireable. "Degrees?" Tony said, thinking. "Wasn't there something about those?"

"Fury blocked her from graduating," Bruce reminded him. "She's suing the remains of SHIELD over that."

"Oh, yeah." He sent that to her and she sent back a groan. Putting that with the file meant that she was too qualified to work as a lab assistant, and not qualified to work in other lab fields. They'd have to figure it out. They both looked up as an alarm went off. "What's happened!" he yelled, heading for the lab on the alert message. "People, what happened?" He got out of the way of the medical team.

"She just fell down," one of the lab people in there said.

"Is she our diabetic person?" Bruce asked over Tony's shoulder since he couldn't get around him. "Darcy said we have one."

"No," one of the others in there said. "She used to have seizures, something about a childhood head injury due to a car wreck. She's got it under medical control."

"They probably canceled her medicines," Darcy said as she came back. "She takes three drugs. She's got a medic alert bracelet she hides in her bra because she can't openly wear metal with what she does, people." One of the nurses found it and looked it up. "Did she get her meds today?" Darcy asked them. They all shrugged. "Okay, have any of you gotten out of the lab since yesterday?" A few slumped. "Go take a break so you can check on her in a few." She moved Bruce. "Let them get her out. Guys, she's seizing." The nurses moved her away from the lab stool she had fallen off when she had passed out. She gently moved Stark too. "That way you're not in the way of the gurney." They were coming up the hall. "She's mid seizure."

"That happens," one agreed. "Accidental exposure to something, a self-tester?" she guessed.

"Former seizures, bad ones," Darcy said. "She's on three meds to control it. She was in a car accident as an infant. Took them like six years to stop all the seizures with meds. She's had a few relapses when stupid humans changed the meds that were working for something new. She just got her license back last month or so."

"So it's been over a year since she had one," the head nurse agreed. Once the poor woman had stopped seizing they lifted her onto the gurney and got her out of there.

Darcy looked at the team. "Go get a coffee break, kids. Someone call her mom or whoever she lives with?" They nodded, going to do that after shutting things down. Darcy locked the lab door and grinned at the staring one. "The key's going into Stark's hand." She handed it over. "That's the master I made off Jane's."

"That's reasonable," Tony agreed. "Go coffee and check on her." He looked at Darcy. "How many other serious health issues are in the labs?"

"The diabetic intern has a bad habit of getting lost sometimes. Her lab people know though. She seriously tanked one day for not eating and she's on an insulin pump so it went off anyway. We have another lady who used to have seizures. Those two were comparing meds one day over lunch when I overheard and asked if I had to have something on hand if something happened. The other one has an emergency set of meds in her mini-fridge in an airtight container so they can't be hurt by anything. We've got two that're working on prosthetics because they need them if you didn't remember them." She considered it. "A few broken bones in the last two years, I think one's still maybe broken or just about to have the cast off. Or should be about ready for that. It's her wrist. Oh, something the prosthetics team didn't realize. The elevator locks down during emergencies and evacuations, Stark."

"Yeah, it should. It's not safe," he agreed, nodding some.

"And the four people in wheelchairs you have in the building are getting down the stairs how?"

He blinked a few times. "Well, fuck, I didn't think about that." He walked off. "Yeah, one of the prosthetics team is, huh."

"And another's on arm crutches," she agreed, smiling at Bruce. "You helped them hide during the last one."

"I remember. Our safe rooms could use upped too," he admitted, following Tony. "Have fun helping your brother do an inventory and bring us anything you think we might need to hear."

"I can talk him out of that stuff," she quipped, going to check on the others in the labs. "Hey," she said into one, grinning. "Jane's on Asgard for a bit so I may not be around to check on people. Helen just went to the infirmary for seizures. They're locked down and Stark has the key if they forget."

"Thanks, Darcy. I'll let everyone know. We noticed you cleaning the lab up. Is it open?"

"Her machines are still in there," she said. "They're huge and in the way." They nodded at that. "Sistema, can you check on the others later?"

"Yeah, I can take over that checking duty, Darcy. Are you going to be here?" Darcy shrugged. "Going to another geek?"

"Not sure yet. I meet with Pepper tomorrow." She grinned. "If not, I'll still try to check on some of you so we can have lunches and the like." They grinned. "Have a better day, people." They went back to work while she went to grab a sweater and wake her brother up. She even cleaned his leg's injuries for him when she found him doing it.

***

Maria Hill caught up to Darcy that night when she came in. "Pepper's looking for you."

"I'm due to talk to her tomorrow." She smiled at her. "I arranged for a nine am meeting earlier."

"That's fine. Is that information for the team?"

"This is mostly stuff like pictures. The stuff for the team my baby brother's bringing in a few."

"Great. I'll sit in to see if anything should get passed on." She looked over Darcy's outfit. "That sweater is nasty."

"It's just dust, Hill. The vault was dusty. Not like they break in there to dust it regularly. Really, I do laundry every few days." She got onto the elevator and pushed her button. Hill got on with her so she held in her sigh of distaste.

"Why did you protest so hard to get your iPod back?" she asked.

"Because it was the last present I got from someone," she said, staring at her. "Sometimes those things are important."

"I didn't know."

"No, Hill, you didn't care. The team that removed things didn't care. Or that it only had music on it. You treated Jane like a trained puppy who'd open a hole for you. Frankly, I kept half of SHIELD's communications from Jane and told her the important stuff in them so she got less complaints. Because half of the stuff you and your people sent over were complaints about Jane not updating her work that she didn't owe you." She stared her down.

"Jane's comment, more than once, was that you didn't pay her. She was not handing over her research to SHIELD to harm someone with it. She'd send things to a peer-reviewed journal. Then she burned the memos that said she was late turning in research notes and monthly reports. I kindly mailed the ashes back with the newest version of that memo when it came in the next day threatening punishments for not cooperating." She got off the elevator when the doors opened, going to her apartment. She walked in and found her brother there. "Took the stairs?"

"Yup. You ready to go hand over that disc?"

"They'll want the rest."

"All that's on the disc as far as I know." He grinned.

"Uh-huh. Hand over the file too," she ordered. "It could help the team avoid that problem."

"Point." He handed it over with a smirk. "Come back and we'll netflix."

"I can do that." She left, avoiding Hill's grab attempt. "Not for you, Hill." She went up to the labs, finding Pepper and Stark talking in his lab. "I have liberated a blackmail file and another one that Xander won at poker." She grinned at Pepper. "Stuff that could possibly help the team, not SHIELD."

"Did he have a lot of things like that?" Pepper asked.

"He has enough blackmail material to keep me safe after he dies. This is on a potential enemy of the team's and what he had on a few other enemies." She handed them to Stark. "The disc should run normally. Not totally sure what's on it. Only he would know and he's resting so his leg finally finishes healing again." Hill stomped in. Darcy grinned at Pepper. "He has other files that he said he won't release because it wouldn't help anyone here but it would keep me safe."

"How many weapons?" Stark asked casually, taking a bite of fries with stuff on top.

"Plenty that aren't realistic on this plane." She pulled out her new friend the sword. "Unless you think it's a great idea to take on HYDRA with a mystical blade? This one's really friendly and might like you too."

Stark stared at it, shaking his head. "It might want me to build it its own robot. No thanks."

Darcy grinned, putting it back since it shrank into her pocket. He ate another bite before he said something. She grinned at Pepper. "I almost got adopted by a war hammer too but I told it I'd have to use it outside of wars too. It wanted to not do that."

Pepper just nodded. "That's reasonable I guess. It wouldn't want to pound nails in for pictures on the wall."

"Or shoes that are falling apart," Darcy said. She shifted her weight some. She looked outside then went to open the window Stark used to fly out of, taking the two weapons there. "Hey, babies." She petted them. "Xander's upstairs," she told them. "Up three floors and to the right. Or I'll walk you up there in a few minutes." They settled in to be cuddled by her. Pepper was tipping her head so Darcy let her see the axe better. "It's a lady's axe. The other's a truncheon. Xander's got a huge list of ancient weapons he's used and trained himself to use."

"I bet," Pepper agreed. "It's handy when you're fighting on other realms and fighting demons I guess." She petted the truncheon that tipped toward her. It shivered but went back to cuddling Darcy. "Is his leg injury still bad?"

"Stitched but not infected. I helped him clean it earlier to make sure. He's got just over a hundred stitches around his leg. He said they're healing fine."

"That's great," Stark said with a nod then ate another bite to clean his plate. "Can he spar against Natasha? She's wanting to make sure she's doing it right."

"Probably." She shrugged. "Have to ask him if he's okay enough to spar. Me, I'd like to tie him to the bed to keep him safe until he finally healed."

Pepper smiled. "It's a very sisterly thing to do," she said. "I'd do the same if Tony or anyone I cared about got that injured."

Tony looked at her. "I'm allergic to handcuffs," he said dryly. He went back to the files. "Yeah, not a lot we didn't know about but some things that could point to motivations for certain actions. We can spread this to Steve and Natasha." He looked at the file, blushing. "That's really graphic but handy to know." He closed it and put it under his plate. He shook his head quickly. "I'm wondering if anyone else knows that?"

"One of Xander's dates got handed that by one of his contacts and he handed it to Xander to get it out of the way so he didn't have to consider it either," Darcy quipped, grinning at them. "As for the other blackmail files? I only saw three that have familiar names. And one that didn't have a name but was on the grunting prince guy as my brother calls him. That's more about his people, his way of life, more like a primer in case he has to go train a slayer in that country. He has a book of those so he doesn't make any cultural boo-boos. He said he started it after making a few nearly fatal ones. Apparently he nearly got burned as a witch at least once. And nearly got a second wife. But he said she was pretty. Just not his type since she wanted to hide and have babies."

"He could have kids," Pepper said.

Darcy shook her head. "He's not fertile that way, Pepper."

"Aww. That's sad but he can always adopt."

Darcy nodded. "He can. I plan on it too some year." She glanced at Hill then at Stark then at Pepper again. "We still on for nine am?"

"We are," she agreed. "I've looked over your transcripts. Did you explain to NYU about Culver's problems?"

"Yup. I handed them the official notice they had in my file. They agreed I could take classes and they'd let me know if they got the same sort of official hatemail about me. Which they did. If I could get credit for those classes, I'd already have a masters degree. I'd probably have cut back helping Jane to weekends and after hours."

Hill let out a quiet huff. "Is any of that germaine to the team's needs?" she asked Tony.

"Some might lead back to motivations. The file's a sex blackmail file on someone we run into sometimes." Hill grimaced. "Most of his files are geared towards blackmail to keep his sister safe, Hill. He wasn't gathering intelligence for the same reason." She nodded, leaving them alone. Darcy smiled and handed over a thumbdrive. "Hmm." He ran that and sat up straighter. "Where?"

"One of his poker contacts. It paid off a few cats they owed him." She smirked at him, getting a grin back. "If that's something you need, ask him about specific people. We were doing an inventory of his blackmail files. He keeps a meticulous inventory of his weapons. Even the improbable ones that're mystically powered and fire magic blasts."

Stark blinked a few times then winced. "For some reason my brain just got a cramp."

"He said it's handy but I have no idea why he knows that." Dawn appeared with a huff, Mortimer cuddling her frantically. "Huge problems in Spain?" Darcy guessed. "Should I get Xander off my couch?"

"No. Huge problems but it's a guy thing. Some bad guy who wanted me to work with him and got told about my studies by one of my professors."

Xander strolled in, axe in his hand. "So, not-Dawn." She flinched, staring at him. "And that's not Mortimer. He's bigger."

Darcy tipped her head, taking the baby kraken to hold. "He is heavier." She looked. "And this one's mechanical." Stark took it to take out the batteries.

The demon changed back, smirking at Xander. "You cannot fight me, *Knight*. You're injured."

Darcy put down the other two weapons then pulled her sword and stabbed the bitchy demon in the neck. "Yeah, there's two of us now, bitch." She smiled and waved as the demon whined on the floor. "Hi. Are you here for my baby brother? I'm a *very* overprotective big sister if ya are." She grinned again.

Xander hugged her. "She's my favorite girl type person." The demon screamed as she got up and Xander shot her in the forehead, killing her. "Bye, bitch." He waved at her with a smile. "Let me get something to come clean her up." He pulled out his phone with his free hand to text someone. Another demon appeared and sniffed the downed one then grinned at the siblings and nodded before taking her with him. "There, no more mess. Not even any blood or anything ooey."

Darcy looked then went to get the spill powder just in case. She cleaned up the area and threw the dust and floor dust into the hazmat bag. "Just in case." She grinned at the staring duo. "Poker contacts can be *very* handy."

"If Maria Hill disappears we'll go ask them first," Pepper said, blinking a few times.

"If she comes near my sister again to get her taken hostage or anything like that, I'll let you know which poker buddy I let eat her. Because she tried to contact one of *my* enemies to take out my sister. Again." He looked at her. She handed over the two mystical, pouty weapons. "Hey, they're cute!"

"They flew over to meet you."

"Awww. Pretty babies. Would you like me to use you or a slayer? I know a few slayers who'd like you both." He walked off petting and talking to them.

Darcy shrugged, grinning at them. "It's actually been three times. One of them sent me a letter so I asked Natasha to help me send a nice turn down back. See you in the morning, Pepper." She fled after her brother before Stark lost his temper. She had seen a few of those moments, she didn't want to see another one.

Pepper cleared her throat, taking a sip of her glass of wine. "She handles things extremely well."

"She does," Tony said, getting up and heading to the bathroom. "Let me....think." He went in there to throw his fit. Pepper got some extra wine to sip. She also sent a text to Natasha to get the information on what had happened with that letter.

***

Darcy leaned in the next morning. "Ready for me? I know I'm about two minutes early and your assistant's in the girl's room."

"I'm all ready for you," Pepper said, making Darcy smile as she came in to sit across from her. "I've looked over the tests, the academic record, and the work record. You're too qualified for the job you had, Darcy."

"I know." She smiled. "The benefits outweighed the feeling mentally stymied and that's why there's online classes."

"True. Most of our lab people need people with field specific degrees but we do have someone who does the ordering and gathering for the labs. Really a secretarial job. Which you're still overqualified for." She crossed her legs with a sigh. "And our present one has been with SI for over a decade."

"I met her. She doesn't do all that much with the labs beyond take problem reports or ordering supplies. She always sighed when she saw me with Jane's stuff that needed mailed out. She has this huge ol' sigh of displeasure."

"She does," Pepper agreed, smiling slightly. "No one really expects the lab people to be fussed over the way you did Jane."

"Do you blame me with the way Jane forgot to sleep and eat?"

"No," Pepper said, shaking her head. "I don't at all. Jane needed a nanny at times and someone to do the mundane things the rest."

Darcy nodded. "Some days, yeah. Then again, some days she had Thor's abs." Pepper laughed, nodding she remembered those. "You know, Thor's probably going to get to date some day soon. The curse means he can't even speak to her. I'm pretty sure his father would grant him an annulment if he wanted to move on for now."

"Maybe," Pepper agreed. She moved the virtual monitor around so Darcy could see it too. "These are the openings we presently have. One's in marketing."

"Which I took one class in and totes got a 'B' because of my boobs. The professor gave us a car company to mock up ads for and I went classic car show girl."

Pepper nodded. "I couldn't pull that off."

"I don't like to, but he expected it and it was easier to just get it over with so I didn't have to keep dealing with him. The other teacher for it was a woman who constantly flunked any woman in the class, even if she wasn't using her boobs for brain points."

"I've met a few of those." Pepper considered the openings. "I'd put you under Matilda, but she really doesn't do a lot of work."

"There's things she could be doing and doesn't. She doesn't have anything on the lab's health issues. She doesn't check the emergency procedures or runs drills. I ran one with Jane the day after we heard about them. Just in case. SHIELD wasn't the first one interested in Jane's research. She didn't want to bend it to another field or work with their fields so she ignored them until they gave in. And once we went into the desert and made them chase us for about a day. They gave up because they thought we wouldn't camp to look at Jane's stars. And, well, one of them tried to sneak over to drug us so my nicely soused butt kinda threw him into the bonfire we had going. He survived but he yelped all the way back to their car."

Pepper stared at her. "You threw him in the fire?"

"I thought you'd remark on me being drunk because it was my twenty-second birthday and I was having a miserable migraine that I could not get to sleep to cure." Darcy nodded. "It was about to interrupt Jane and Erik. I tripped him and gave him a shove when he tried to grab me. The guy deserved it. Whatever drug he was carrying went up in the fire and made Erik glare at him for it. He was already running away by then but it helped."

Pepper nodded quickly. "I can see why it would've helped and how protective that was really." She looked at the job openings again then sighed. "The only one that's the least bit geared toward dealing with people really is that marketing one."

"Or I can go do Matilda's job so she has time to handle whatever's making her look tired and sick," she offered. "I can handle that job easily. It's not taxing and if something happens with Xander I can do both at the same time if I have to." Her phone beeped and she groaned. "Sorry, I thought I had turned that off." She glanced at it to turn off her phone again. "Or not. Xander said there's an upcoming demon portal event in town in sixteen hours. He just had a vision." She sent a quick text, getting back an 'I'm fine, not too much pain this time'. She put her phone back into her pocket and looked at Pepper again. "He had my phone turned on."

"No, that's a great reason," Pepper agreed. "I know you usually put it on silent for meetings, Darcy." She sent an email upstairs. "Let me warn the team."

"Xander's message said that there's a magic user in town casting but he's hidden and he's not sure if he can find it. He's going to look for them now."

Pepper called him. "Xander, can I get a full account of your vision please?" She smiled. "Thank you, Xander. Yes, she is. That's fine. Emergencies are important. I'd expect you to interrupt her interview for that. Thank you." She hung up. "He'll bring a copy down so we can see it." Xander walked in and handed it over then hurried off. "Thanks." She glanced it over, grimacing. "Is he ever wrong?"

"Off-time a few times, mostly because someone else tried to fix the vision so they could still do it." She took it to read over, frowning. "It's not his usual style of vision. Usually he wouldn't see something this tiny." She pulled out her phone to look at something. "Oh. Oh, no. They eat kids. One of the slayers were dating the douche canoe doing the portal to get back at her for dumping him because he was an evil shit." She handed it back with a sigh. "Greatness."

Pepper grimaced. "I'd dump a sorcerer who had bad ideas for humanity too. Maybe that one Sorcerer could help?"

"This guy isn't in his class. Doctor Strange handles sorcerers who'd be college kids doing stupid stuff. This guy's like a high school idiot doing magic."

"Ah!" Pepper nodded, putting it down. "So he'd be too powerful for that problem. So he could handle the fallout but the sorcerer would just pout at him."

"Probably," Darcy agreed. "Not that I won't send him a message in a few minutes." She grinned. "Before *I* have to go help fight the portal."

"That's a great idea." She looked at the job openings again then at Darcy. "Go help Xander. We'll talk later or tomorrow. That's got to come first." Darcy nodded, going to the slayer house to warn them. Pepper took the vision upstairs, handing it to Steve. "Darcy said the guy's like a high schooler playing with magic and Doctor Strange would deal with higher guys, like college level sorcerers instead. Xander's off hunting him." Steve read it, grimacing. "Darcy also said the sorcerer wannabe used to date one of the slayers."

"I hope they all get much better boyfriends or girlfriends in the future," Steve said. "Let me warn the others in case he can't avert it." He walked off to tell the others.

Natasha came off the elevator, handing Pepper a copy of that letter she had wanted to see. "I would have warned Darcy but she seemed to be able to handle it."

"Any idea why Hill is so upset about her?"

"Not beyond jealousy that she's got trust that Hill will never have." She shrugged. "Who knows sometimes." She went to get dressed for a later battle. Better to have to change later than to have to run and change before a battle and being late to it. She ran into Clint. "Xander had a vision."

He turned around and went to find his battle uniform. "How bad?"

"Biting things coming from a portal. Called by a sorcerer one of the slayers used to date."

"They *so* need better taste," he muttered as he walked off. He needed the jacket today instead of the vest without sleeves apparently.

***

Darcy came limping in that night with Xander leaning on her shoulder. "Hey," she said, smiling a the guards staring at them. "The portal's down."

"We saw it on the news." They let Darcy sign herself and her brother in. "Medical's mostly open."

"It's all home treating stuff, guys. But thanks," Xander said. He pushed the button for the elevator. He was closer and Darcy couldn't move that arm without dislodging him. They came off the elevator on Darcy's floor, him glaring at Hill waiting on them. "Gee, Sis, look. It's the lady who sold you to the bad guy." Hill flinched back. "Yeah. He told us, Hill. Most of our injuries are from getting away from him. Gee, thanks. I'll remember you the next time I send up happy wishes." They walked off together.

Hill cleared her throat. "We were baiting...." she started.

Darcy spun to glare at her, letting Xander lean on a wall. "Did you tell *me* this?" she demanded. "Because I knew not a *DAMN* thing about that, Hill. Not a single, goddess damned thing. So therefore I had to help get myself free of a kidnaping during a battle. I think you need to forget I ever fucking existed and leave me far, far alone before I start to repay that favor. Because if I can't, Xander sure as fuck can and I'm more than *happy* to bum some of his contacts for that.

"Now, get on your broom and scoot, witch." She pointed. "This is the residential floor and you don't live here. That means you're lurking like a ghoul." Hill stomped off. Darcy hummed and calmed herself down. She looked at her brother. "I need to do the shielding meditations."

"Yeah. It helped when you had the magical explosion during the battle but it could help more now to keep your temper. Then again, I might break out in magic due to that cunt." He leaned on her again, limping off with her help. "If not, maybe I'll find a real paying job and you can come camp with me. I could use someone who reminds me to do normal people things."

"It'll be like old times only you don't science." Pepper came up the hall grimacing. "If it's about Hill and her selling me to one of the bad guys that showed up during the battle today, I don't wanna hear how I got out of it, Pepper," she warned. "I'm so pissed I broke out in magic earlier and I'm about to curse the cunt again!"

"No, nothing about that. We were wondering what happened. Tony said he turned around at your shriek and found you gone."

Xander snorted, shaking his head. "Nope. Major bad guy." He winced as his sister dug out his phone so he could pull up the picture to show Pepper. "Him."

She looked at it then at Xander. "What does he do?"

"He sells organs and people and other various icky things." He took the phone back. "Well, he used to when he was alive."

"My slip only made him a toad and I stomped on him," Darcy admitted. "Sorry, Pepper, but we need to calm down and I have to clean his injuries."

"We have a medical team," she reminded them.

Xander shook his head. "No thanks. I can treat them easily enough. Thanks though." He let Darcy open her door. Or try to. Her handprint didn't work. Pepper got it open and let them in. Her stuff was still there. Pepper glanced inside to make sure then went to talk to someone. Xander and Darcy shared a look then he flopped down with her first aid kit to treat the new injuries he had gotten from the biting things and from the minions trying to keep him from getting to his very angry sister. Darcy only had a few injuries from trying to get free before her magic explosion. Someone knocked and stomped in before they could tell them no. "Hey, Stark." He went back to cleaning a bite to his knee.

Tony stared at him. "Our medical team won't take any blood samples," he told him. "Or anything else."

Xander looked up at him. "If certain people hear I willingly went to a doctor, they'll freak the fuck out and think I'm dying of something," he said quietly. "Some of the slayers and I are still pretty close. I'd hate to have to answer if I had cancer or something. I can home treat. I've been doing it since I was a little kid."

Tony stared at him. "I understand why. I've seen others who have worse backgrounds than you have." Xander nodded, grimacing as he cleaned it. "So I'm going to force you to go get treated before you leave more blood drops somewhere in the tower."

"I have a magical shield up to gather any dripping blood so I can't leave any," Xander admitted.

"That's sweet. Does it reinsert it?" Tony asked.

"No. I couldn't figure out how to do that. Unfortunately. It would've been easier. Though I have had a few docs who got into the collected samples and hitched a pump to it to stick it back into my IV." He frowned and cleaned another one. "I'm fine. Nothing's too huge. A few of my old stitches tore. A few bites. Some bruising and things thanks to the minions I had to go through." He looked up at Darcy's huff. "You need to be more centered to meditate on the shielding stuff, Darce."

"I know!"

Xander winced. "She's really mad she turned that guy who kidnaped her thanks to Hill into a toad and killed it."

Tony paused then shuddered. "Damn." He went to get her. "C'mon. I'm forcing you and your brother to the infirmary. That way no one can say anything. You can have a nerve pill. He can have some painkillers. You can calm down enough that you can give a report on who that person was and why he wanted you."

"Hill," she said bluntly. "He told me Maria told him who I was and thought we might be good together." Tony shuddered. "I'm about to become the wicked bitch of the east coast, Tony. I really need to meditate to make sure I don't accidentally magic anyone else."

"A valium would help," Tony said, gently taking her arm to steer her off. "Guys, come get Harris to treat the bites and stuff." Infirmary nurses came in to help get Xander. "He's got some sort of shield to collect any spilled blood. Just in case."

"That's fine. We can force him to get regular medical treatment and no one will worry," the head nurse said, staring at Xander. "We've already gotten a call by a young slayer worrying that you'd have to come see us of your own free will."

"Yeah, they think I'm nearly dying. The last time I did, I had malaria."

"Well, it's more than time." They walked him off and Stark brought Darcy.

"Hey," Darcy said, fighting. "My phone. And I need to reset the lock on my door since my handprint didn't work."

Tony grabbed the phone off the kitchen counter to hand over. "I'll reset it for you later, Lewis." He got her down to the infirmary and went to talk to the others. "Harris is in the infirmary with multiple sources of injuries. Lewis is meditating to tamp down her magic again."

"Why would I need to go search her stuff later?" Steve asked, sipping some water.

"Because apparently Hill gave her to the bad guy that she had to turn into a toad and kill to get free of." He flopped down. "The bad guy told her Maria had told him about her." Steve winced. "And according to some files we've found, it wasn't the first. Hill has some sort of jealousy or something about Lewis and frankly I'm about to keep Lewis and boot Hill off the tower for causing the problems."

"We sure?" Natasha asked casually. "I've seen the last events. They did not divulge who introduced Darcy to them."

"According to Darcy, it wasn't her and she's pretty sure Hill did it all three times. Now four times."

"Shit," Clint said. "The one earlier was into slaves and organs."

"That's what Harris said." Tony wiped his face off. "Does anyone have any clue why?"

"I heard Lewis say no one told her she was bait," Clint said, shifting to lean back with a wince. "She's really mad. We're lucky we haven't seen a second toad."

"I think if Hill bothers her again, she will be," Pepper said as she walked up to them with more cold water bottles, handing them out. "What happened? I talked to Darcy and Xander in the hallway. He had that going into a battle look."

"Me, if I were him, I'd ask a poker debt to eat it," Clint admitted. "Very clean, you can deny responsibility." He shrugged a bit then opened his new water to take a sip, looking at Natasha.

"I have let various bad elements have an inconvenient bad problem," she admitted. "Never a civilian. If there was a civilian being a problem I tend to inconvenience them with a broken leg or the like."

"Which got a few people fired," Clint reminded her. "And ruined their lives too. All for living in the apartment you needed to use." She glared at him. "Which was authorized by Hill and Fury."

"She suggested it," Natasha agreed. "Said the director had suggested it. We did help her get a new job." Clint shook his head. "Are you certain?"

"Yeah. She's suing you." He grinned at her. "Hill's hiding it. It was in the paper yesterday in the announcements they put in the classifieds."

She frowned, grabbing a tablet from the coffee table to look that up. "I am being sued. Twice." She went to look it over. "They're trying to make it a class action suit against SHIELD." She put the tablet down, shaking her head.

"Those records went onto the internet too," Bruce said as he joined them. "Two of the car chasing lawyers have tv commercials asking if you found your name in the SHIELD records because they had impacted your life, ruined your job, something like that." He flopped down, taking a spare bottle of water to drink. "I had to send a cease and desist letter to one of the law firms to quit using a picture of me in Harlem in their ads." He took a drink.

"Lewis is already suing them because of her academic records," Stark said. "If she can prove it, she has a few more against SHIELD too probably."

Clint nodded quickly. "Yeah. And I'm pretty sure Xander has at least one lover who watched those files show up and looked up his big sister in them because one of them sent me a letter. He's offering her a better lawyer and a copy of those files."

Pepper shook her head. "She's got a copy I think. I can ask. We're going to go back to our interview tomorrow."

Xander came off the elevator limping. "Bradley gave her a copy when he heard she was my sister." He looked at Pepper and Stark. "He had the full, unlocked version. Some hackers went after Natasha's uploading to make sure they got full copies. Rising Tide had a full copy. Bradley's agency got a full copy to look through because their director, and his section head, hates Fury with every cell of their bodies." He grinned at Natasha. "You've got three now, princess. The little sister of one of my dates is suing you in the EU courts as well as the two in the US." She winced. "Because you killed her daughter and she nearly died twice. And if he finds you, he's going to kill you for it. Just flat out shooting you on the street kill you for it. He warned me if I was near you and him at the same time to duck. He'd hate to lose me but oh fucking well as he put it. Then he spit out his cig."

"Hilar," she said.

"No. Hilar has a contract out on you and it's in a safe deposit box since he died. His second will hand over the keys to it upon notice of your death. And your partner's death but his price is only four mil. Yours is fifteen." She winced. "Hilar is a huge pussycat compared to Bruno."

She sat up, staring at him. "That accident was not my fault."

"It was your fault. You crashed the car that hit them," Xander corrected, staring at her. "Killed his niece and only heir. She was the last in the family. Their family's been a backbone of the lower classes for *generations* and now that'll end. And create a power struggle. Because when Bruno goes, there's three or four guys who want his job and will fight over it. Will parts of Europe survive that?"

She shook her head with a sigh. "Not intact," she admitted. "I did not mean for his sister or his niece to get injured. Many were protecting that child."

"Then you killed a driver that made him slam into a car. A parked car. Which flipped the car into a drainage ditch and the kid drowned. Mom nearly died twice before she healed. Uncle's *livid*. He's sterile from testicular cancer. His sister was rendered infertile in the accident when the steering column went into her abdomen. We're all hiding when Bruno dies. Even me. I'll go hide on another realm to get away from that fight for the job."

"There's a distant cousin," Clint said.

"Not in the life, illegitimate," Xander reminded him. "Bruno knows. He talked to him way back when he said when I noted that." He looked at him. "There's another niece from the same crossing and she wants nothing to do with him and threatened to have him arrested if he talked to her ever again. She's a bit uptight."

Clint winced. "That's going to be a mess," he agreed. "Invite me to that place you're hiding?"

"Maybe."

"Please," Clint said.

"Can we make her one without that?" Stark asked. "Have the sister use a surrogate?"

"No eggs," Xander said. "Or I would've suggested it. Or even suggested Darcy have it for her."

"Hey!" Darcy said from his phone.

Xander grinned at it. "You like Bruno and his sister."

"Yeah, they were really nice," the phone agreed. "I don't think I'm ready to surrogate yet. I might not be able to give back the baby."

"I get that," Xander agreed. He looked at Natasha again. "Also, this is fair warning because Joshua asked me earlier if I was okay. He was in town and couldn't get to the battle to help."

She shuddered. "I will protect myself from him as well, Xander. Thank you for the warning."

"Good luck." She nodded so he looked at Stark. "Thank you for letting your people do my stitches, Stark. Can I get into Darcy's apartment so I can rest?"

"Sure, kid." He grabbed the tablet Natasha had used, getting into the tower's defenses to update the lock on her apartment. "Yours and hers both work now." He looked up. "We'll order dinner later if you two wanted to put in."

"We'll see. I'm running thin on money. Unfortunately I don't get paid for all this." He limped off. "Not that Giles paid me most of the time before then though."

"That whole group is one battle away from fighting each other," Bruce said. He rubbed his eyes. "How bad will this Bruno dying be?"

"The few people who want his position will try to take out each other," Clint said. "Two are explosives experts who moved up. Another's an assassin. Bruno himself is the guy you go to when you need to hire mercenaries for something other than a war in some out-of-the-way area. He's got heirs picked out. They've already killed three of them. The one that's surviving is partially paralyzed and blew the fuck out of the rest that did it to them from his ICU bed. They blew up a lingerie store to get him. He had been buying a mistress present. His wife and mistress met over his bed and got into a hair yanking fight but his begging them to stop it before he died made them get along so they could torture him. Now they're his seconds-in-command." He grinned. "He's still boinking both of them. Bruno sends great new baby presents apparently."

"Last time it was two gold bars to set up the new daughter's future wedding fund," Natasha agreed. "The boys get artwork or money depending on which woman is the mother."

Stark shook his head quickly. "I think I've heard of him."

"You have," Pepper agreed. "He was on your list of 'don't deal with'." Tony nodded at that. "Will we have to worry?"

"No. You don't sell weapons any longer," Natasha said.

"Good!" Tony said.

Steve shook his head. "How does Xander know those sort?"

"Bruno probably wanted to find out what was so special so invited him to dinner. Xander probably charmed him so they had breakfast too," Clint said. "His file says that they spent a weekend, interrupted by one of Xander's usual ex's having a crisis with his wife, and Bruno thought he was a great contact to have. He's gotten Xander to teach some of his people about how to handle a demon problem like the ones he taught in Africa."

Natasha smiled slightly. "That ex found his wife cheating so they got into a fight and he blurted out what he really did for a career. She went on a fit and threw things at him. He loved her too much to take her out so they got a quiet divorce thanks to Bruno intervening. She got a nice settlement to go find a happier life as long as she never talks about it."

"He sounds like that movie the Godfather," Steve said.

"Not exactly but he's the guy that knows a lot of people who can handle things," Clint explained, shifting to look at him better. "He'd know all the Godfathers over there and probably have their private cell numbers because they've needed his services for guards and the like. If someone over there does something important that he can use, he finds out about them and what sort of hold they might need to do something important. His blackmail files? They're in a Swiss vault. There's agencies who'd adore seeing them and will drool."

"But it might tank a bit of the financial sector and a few other multinational companies," Natasha added. "Plus a few armies."

"Possibly a government or two of small countries," Clint added.

"So, there's going to be a quiet war someone will blame on some sort of terrorist group," Pepper decided. "I'm wondering if he looked at all the scientific methods."

"He's not going to do anything that the Church would consider unholy," Natasha told her. "Unfortunately. A few people told him how he could do a child with some DNA working. He considered it foul science."

"At one time he had a wife that went IVF," Clint told them. "And he was okay with that. Unfortunately the clinic switched their embryos with someone else's. He knew that baby wasn't him when it came out really dark skinned. Considering he's a really pale white guy and so was his wife. The clinic never turned up theirs. The wife went on a depressing fit and gave the baby to the original couple before killing herself. Bruno has only had playmates since then."

"Really, if a child should appear now, it might be in more danger," Natasha said. "The same as if Xander had one, it might be in great danger." An alarm went off and they all started to get up but it stopped suddenly. Xander came out with a bad guy in his hand. The bad guy got dropped in front of Natasha and he limped off with a growl. "Is your sister all right?" she called after him.

"Probably. Though he did hire the slinky assassins guild to get her that once. Pity for him if you don't deal with him for me."

"I can do that," she decided. She stared at the guy on the floor, who was curled up around his midsection whimpering. He was going to crap himself soon if he didn't calm down his fear. She got up and walked him off before she had to clean up his mess on the floor. Some lower level SHIELD agent showed up to gather him but she denied him and made him huff off. Melinda May showed up and Natasha just stared at her until she backed off slowly and carefully then told Coulson. Natasha stared at her. "I do not know why female SHIELD agents are jealous over a young woman who chose a mothering role instead of an action-centered one or an agent one," she told her counterpart. "It is pathetic however. I'm glad I never fell into that trap. It's a pity that it will bring down the rest of SHIELD very soon." Melinda stomped off in a huff.

Darcy came in, bringing Natasha some coffee and a pastry from the break room in the labs. "Snack?" she offered. Natasha smiled at her. She glared at the guy on the floor that dared to touch her. "Do it again," she offered. "Really." She pulled out her extra friendly sword. The man flinched back, shaking his head. "You sure you know I'm not a threat to you unless you make me be one? And if you ever go near my little brother again to pollute him I'm going to be on your ass like white on rice, dude." The guy shrank back further. "Good. You have some limited sense." She smiled at Natasha, putting the sword back. "Coulson was talking to Hill earlier," she said quietly. "He was not aware SHIELD was being sued outside of mine and Hill has tried to have it dismissed twice now. The judge told her to grow the fuck up." She walked off.

Natasha sipped her coffee, smiling at the mug. "She does make exceptional coffee." The man tried to move so she kicked him. He quit moving for a bit since she had gotten his forehead.

Xander leaned in with a grin. "There's some online people who think you're an Amazon like Wonder Woman. Crossing their universes but they think you'd make a great amazon. Not sure if you'll be pleased to hear that or not."

"I am quite the warrior but I'm not as anti-man as most amazons were said to be," she admitted. He grinned. "Do you know many more like him?"

"I know his whole group, Natasha." He smirked. "And his brother's group and his sister's group, who are generally better than either of the boys' groups of idiots. Why do you ask?"

"May I see those files?"

"No. They're blackmail files. You can ask me questions if you want, and I can make it a nice dinner out so I don't have to cook and Darcy can calm down again."

"I may do that. You'd have to put on something not dirty or a t-shirt however."

"I own a few other shirts. Dress shirts just really didn't do much for me in Africa." He shrugged and limped off. He smirked at the guy getting off the elevator. "Hey, Zombie Master."

"Harris," he said with a nod. "Was he a former date? The files weren't sure."

"I'd never touch that bundle of pathetic unless I was desperate. Like when I slept with his brother because I just really needed a cuddle after a battle. At least their sister is better at all that they think they can do. Not good but better." He got onto the elevator and went up to his sister's apartment to clean up again. He felt sweaty after throwing another threat off the balcony to a lower one to make sure he left his sister alone.

The tower's PA went off. "Harris, just have them arrested please. The NYPD has stated they do not want to clean up someone who fell from one of our outdoor spaces," Stark's voice said. "We'd love to arrest them so our agents in residence have something to do tonight." The PA cut off.

Natasha looked up and smiled then at Coulson. "Yes, I could use something interesting tonight."

"He clearly wasn't," Coulson agreed, looking at the man on the floor. "What happened?"

"Hill gave Darcy to a people and organ seller earlier."

Coulson winced. "Is she all right?"

"She got rescued and managed most of it herself since we were in a battle."

"I caught the battle earlier. Are you two all right?"

"Mostly," she agreed. "Lewis found magic earlier."

He winced but nodded. She finished her coffee, putting the cup aside. "At least she managed to get free. That's what's important until we can stop the problem."

"May wanted to do something similar with this one."

"The new director would hate that. He said he wanted to stop the old line's problems and then signed a statement saying he was not going to overrule any older rulings." He handed a copy to Natasha. She could hand it to Darcy Lewis herself. That way he wasn't in trouble for it. He stared at the man on the ground. "We can arrest him."

"Please do. And keep him."

"Gladly. The HYDRA goons can make fun of him." He hauled him up and out. "Be safe, Natasha."

"You as well, Coulson." She walked off nibbling on the pastry, going up to her suite to relax for a while.

***

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