Adrian pouted at Jane the next morning. "Mommy noisy!" He pouted at her. Jane hugged him. "Need nap," he muttered.
"You can nap if you want, Adrian. You have an hour before daycare so you can nap." He nodded, going to flop on the couch and pull the couch blanket over himself. Darcy came out shaking her head. "He said you were noisy?" she asked with a grin.
"Only by myself," she muttered. "He apparently got up last night."
"Probably. He was pretty bouncy when he went down." She handed Darcy her coffee pot so she could get her first cup down her throat. Adrian was snoring so that was sweet of him. Thor came out of Jane's apartment and into theirs, smiling at the snoring little person on the couch before sitting in a chair.
Darcy and Jane made breakfast while talking about their days. Darcy really did need a bigger desk but there was no room and they didn't want separate labs. That'd upset Adrian and be like a divorce to him. They'd work on organization today somehow then Adrian could go to the regular daycare to play with Bethany. Thor could heft and tote if he wanted to.
Clint knocked and leaned in. "We had to spread the news that you have an anxiety problem. A few people have linked you to Xander since you've been seen together and he's had your son. They think if you're dangerous enough for him they're probably more sane and better for you than Xander." Darcy rolled her eyes, taking a drink. "Including Rollins. Who, barely managed to get away last night." He grinned. "But we've spread through Xander that you're an ex of his and you have anxiety so you're not seen as too tough." He closed the door, walking off again.
Darcy looked at Jane. "Okay then. Maybe that'll stop some weird things."
"Maybe," Jane agreed. She stuffed her mouth before she said anything. She wasn't sure that bad boys liking her hadn't rubbed off from Xander.
Darcy stared at her. "Covington," she reminded her.
Jane shuddered. "Never mind, douchebags have always liked you." She stuffed her mouth again. Adrian lifted his head to glare at them and went back to sleep. When they got ready to go to work, Darcy lifted her son up to carry him down there so they could reorganize the labs while he napped some more. Darcy planned on how to get him bigger clothes because napping like this meant a growth spurt.
***
A few hours later, Darcy leaned into Tony's lab. "Can Jane have a machine lab?" she asked.
He spun to look at her. "Do you two need split up?"
"We need some more work room but if we split us up, Adrian will think it's a divorce and be upset."
"Ah." He nodded. "That's true, he's used to Jane being the alternate mom. How much more room do you two need?"
"Jane's machines need their own lab? Then we could split the lab down the center with a small work area. Or we need one about the size of yours for both of us and her machines."
He nodded, coming in to look at it. "Can we combine some of the machines, Jane?" Adrian scowled at him. "What's wrong, little pirate?"
"He woke up grumpy and went back to sleep a few times," Darcy said. "I think he's got a sleep headache. He could go to daycare if he wanted." Adrian nodded, taking his blanket friend with him down there. "FRIDAY, make sure he makes it to the daycare?"
"Of course, Dr. Lewis."
"Thanks, dear." She looked at Tony, who was staring at her. "If I went with him he'd get more grumpy. He likes doing little things by himself and complains when I bring him. He knows how to push the elevator buttons, which ones to push, and how to get in there."
"Point. He is very independent."
"We were both sick one weekend and Thor basically let him do whatever he wanted," Jane said. "Including wandering into the desert for a few hours. He found his way back inside from out back while his uncle watched, but he thought it was it great he could do things without his mom watching him. He does it to me too." Jane looked around then at him. "The machines can't really be combined. Most of them are types of measurement devices but go for different purposes or to weed out other measurements so they make sense." She grimaced. "Even if Darcy wanted to move to her own lab I'd need more room, Stark.
"And please don't move us too far away. He'll be heartbroken if he can't bother Clint. I haven't really talked to him about moving yet," Darcy begged.
"I don't have anything nearby that would fit that."
"A garage?" Jane offered. "A car dealership?" She looked at Darcy. "He moved here all right."
"He was barely able to walk and talk then. I doubt he remembers it and he'd panic that he was losing you and Thor."
"Point. He would see it like us breaking up." She grimaced again, scrunching up her face.
"Could we have a measurement device lab?" Darcy suggested. "We're not the only ones who'd need it really."
Jane tipped her head. "That could help."
"We could make smaller machines," Tony offered.
Jane shook her head. "I can't figure out how and I made most of mine."
Darcy nodded. "I mostly need design and work space but not machine space. Occasionally nap space for the kid."
"We don't even have a lab open in the building," Stark told them. They grimaced. "Let me think about it and see what else we have open. We do have other buildings and he'll probably do better if you just break him from Clint and the daycare."
"He might kidnap Bethany," Darcy said dryly. "And Clint."
"Could be," Stark agreed with a nod. "He's good at taking hostages." He went back to his lab to look things over. Jane's lab was really cramped. He hadn't thought she needed that sort of room when he had offered her a lab. And Lewis may someday have a machine habit like her boss'. He considered it. It'd be easier if they moved out of the tower but not safer. A lot less safe for the kid and Foster. Lewis might get taken but no one wanted her for her ideas yet.
He hacked into a list of who had what prices on their heads. It made him reconsider it. Lewis had a huge price on her head because people wanted that plate system. Foster still had one but it was smaller. "Great," he muttered. He kept going, finding something odd. "What the hell?" He looked up. "FRIDAY, get me Romanoff. And maybe Hill." Natasha walked in a minute later so he let her see that film of the green alien that had been pretending to be Nick Fury.
"Skrull," she said. "Nice use of the cattle prod." She considered it. "Would Fury have made a deal with them? He's hunted them for years." He got out of the way of the list he was looking at. "Oh!" She considered it. "Yes, Lewis' work would be easier for them to use than Foster's." She considered it. "That's bad." She looked back as Hill came in. "Fury was a skrull?"
"I'm almost certain he made a deal with them to hide himself better. Why?" Tony reran the film. "Oh. That's mean of Harris." But she smiled. "You think they're the ones focusing on Lewis instead of Fury himself?" Natasha let her see the contracts list after pulling up a better one. "Oh." She winced. "Skrulls would...yes, her ideas would be more applicable to their needs than Foster's would. Which does make some sense. FRIDAY, ask Lewis if she's aware of if it's the actual Nick Fury who's bothering her or a fake one."
Darcy leaned in a minute later. "It's the actual one probably. The alien one sent me drugged candy and weird flowers to make them a device to take out their enemies." She grimaced. "I sent back a nice note that I didn't make weapons. I've announced my doctorate on my facebook, Hill. I don't know why he still thinks I'm in his way to Jane's cooperation when she won't."
"That..."
"That was his plan earlier," Natasha agreed. "He thought he could replace you and have them spy on Foster's work."
"Jane wouldn't trust SHIELD. They've screwed us over a few times. Absolutely no trust there." She walked off texting Xander's phone. No answer yet.
Xander appeared, blinking at Hill. "Yeah, it's the actual Nick Fury," he admitted dryly. "The skrull one wanted to take her kid hostage for a bit until I blew up their base." He grinned. "Oh, I've slipped a few people the fact that Adrian's daddy knows about him to keep him from being kidnaped. They don't want me to save him. Which meant that some people are thinking Darcy's a bit dangerous because that's my type." He grinned at Natasha. "Sorry but safer for her!"
He walked off. "I blew up Fury's last safehouse yesterday because he was in the way of an alien problem coming down here and being stubborn about being in the way and yet not helping. So I treated him like I have the other stuck shits I've had to deal with. He'll be at the battle tomorrow." He beamed as he walked out, going to tell that to Darcy. "Sorry, but I had to spill it to keep him safer to two contacts. Because they heard something more damaging and one would kidnap him to use horribly and the other one was told by Fury."
"Is that why Rollins flirted?" Darcy asked.
"Yeah, he and Consquelo both think you're my standard type, very dangerous and protective." He blew a kiss and winked. "It was Fury who's trying to get you out of her lab."
"I put it on facebook. If he did a name search it'd be one of the first things that popped up."
"Yeah, he's not thinking about anything other than his wants."
Darcy rolled her eyes. "Old plans aren't always applicable."
"Well, he'll be having problems when he's in the battle tomorrow. He tried to stop me from handling it and anyone else from stepping in. So he'll be there." He smirked. "Gotta go. I've got to trick some assholes into the battle too." He disappeared.
Hill moaned as she walked in. "Great."
Darcy shrugged. "That does explain a few things. If they think I'm Xander's usual type would that lead to others flirting?"
"Could be," she admitted. "Plenty of his would probably like someone a bit sweeter but just as dirty as Harris can be." She grimaced. "Can you not date for a bit?"
"Probably. Last night's was a bit of a screwing up the nose. It seems to take forever to find a new one after a failed date that way."
"Why?" Hill asked.
Darcy turned to look at her more fully and smirked. "He showed up with luggage, saying his car broke down at work. Which, okay, I can see that. I've had to bring my schoolbooks a few times because I didn't have time to run home. That's fine. We almost shook hands but I spotted the blood on his nail beds." Hill winced. "So he went to wash and Rollins dropped the bottle of sodium pentothal on the table and said he left it at his last job."
Hill slumped. "I spotted Bucky eating dinner there and coughed to stop him from going after Rollins because I figured those three added up to a *really* nasty problem. Which Bucky seemed to agree with since he chased him outside and handed him to Agent May." She grinned. "But Dr. Simmons, Bucky, and I did have a charming dinner after that. Well, I had a few daiquiris and they had dinner. I never fully eat on the first date, it leads to either not eating because you're talking or slowing you down when you have to get away from someone. So yeah, it'll probably be a few weeks at least."
Hill stared at her. "Did you get his actual name?"
"On Tindr he went by Tony and he was a bit freaked out at the mom thing. Said he couldn't date moms in case something happened."
Hill walked off texting Melinda, who told him who it had been. She came back to stare at Lewis. "He's a CIA operative and he would have tortured you for fun. He likes to take out pretty girls because he considers them competition if they're in the same field. The fact you work here and have a SHIELD file meant he thought you could be an analyst or something. We'll straighten him out if we let him survive this." She walked off again, coming back with the list of who wanted her. "This is the list that Stark found of who wants to snatch you."
Darcy looked it over. "Two of my former professors from Culver are on here. They want me for poli sci stuff?" She looked up. Hill shrugged but shook her head. "Huh." She let Jane see it. "I think I top yours now, Janey."
Jane looked it over. "By about two mil." She handed it back. "Is that the same one you found?"
"Yeah, two of the ones I found aren't on there. Though one is through SHIELD." She got into a site she had almost bookmarked, she had to click on two links to get to it. Then she printed it for Hill to see. "I found those."
"What the hell?"
"Those are the mad scientists," Jane said with an evil little smirk. "Though I've heard someone talked Doom up about you."
Darcy spun to stare at her. "Eww. I'd have to fix the social inequalities he has, Jane. It'd be my wedding gift to the people." She spun her chair back to look at Hill again. "Most of those date from early intern days, they may not realize I'm brighter and probably a bit more evil than they are." She grinned.
"You're not evil," Hill said.
"Yeah, you haven't seen me without coffee or sleep," Darcy shot back. "Ask Jane, I nearly bombed London because the kid wouldn't let me sleep by rearranging her lab stuff on her. It miscalibrated a machine and nearly pulled an asteroid onto the city."
Hill blinked a few times. "If you have another child, we'll make sure your interns have safety drills, Lewis." She stared at her.
"She's behind that social movement online too," Jane said.
"Well, humanity as a whole does need to pull together better," Darcy quipped. She smirked at Hill. "Both of them actually. I'm part of the group that's starting the petitions to give the slayers absolute independence and the other petition based movements are partially mine. I talked to some friends about some social ills in the world."
Hill swallowed. "You're not pregnant, right?"
"No!" She grinned. "I haven't had more than my hand in a very long time, Hill. By now I'd have almost given birth if I was. Unless Fury spreading rumors about Adrian was him admitting that he somehow got me. At which point in time I'll destroy him and then sue him for child support since he made the kid without mine and the dad's permission."
"He doesn't have visible assets."
"Bullshit." She grinned. "They're findable if you look." Hill walked off shivering. She grinned at Jane, high fiving each other then getting back to work. Darcy called the daycare to check on her sleepy little monster, and he was down there napping in a corner under his blanket. "I really am probably going to have to shop for him soon. That's got to be part growth spurt."
"He hates shopping."
"I know. He considers it expensive and ugly." She considered it. "Maybe an online one. Don't know yet." She got back to work. Natasha walked in and put a donut on Darcy's desk, earning a grin. "Thank you. What did I do to deserve such sugar?"
"You drove Hill to day drinking."
Jane looked over. "Someone was trying to get Doom interested in her as a wife."
Natasha blinked a few times. "Well. If that should happen, we'll come rescue you."
"My wedding present to the people would be ending the social problems." Darcy nibbled her donut, grinning at it. "Thanks, Natasha."
"Welcome." She walked off to share that. Hill was telling Stark about the social movements. Natasha nodded. "We knew that. She put her name on it, Maria." She got her own drink and sat down, staring at Clint and Steve, who were watching all this. "Jane said someone's trying to get Doom to date Darcy."
"Are they going to use her as an excuse to take him down?" Clint asked.
"That's one possibility. There's prices from other mad geniuses," Hill complained, taking another sip of her beer. "Back to some of her professors at Culver."
Clint shivered. "Well we can't let that happen."
"No, we won't," Stark agreed. "And yeah, the few I know are looking for the perfect lab assistant and wife. If I didn't know my mother had bad taste I would've thought my dad got her that way." He handed back the notes, going back to his lab. He didn't want to think about mad geniuses getting their hands on her and the kid. The kid might warp them so they're normal. Or Lewis might. She had kept Jane pretty normal. He could also stop some of that wanting of Darcy as a super lab assistant by noting her degree and son. They wouldn't want a kid that wasn't theirs or someone with a doctorate better than theirs. It might save her.
Hill finished off that beer, going back to her office to reevaluate the lab personnel's security needs. And her career choices, because she might be going just a bit insane.
Clint and Natasha shared a grin but they could make plans for the next time Darcy disappeared. Including who would watch the baby if he wasn't with her. Jane was the obvious choice but she might not be able to or might forget the kid for science.
***
Rollins got handed a note by his current second-in-command. "They sure?"
"Yeah, they're sure. No triggers, no code phrases. They're clean, boss."
"Thanks." He got up and went down to the cells those rescued HYDRA people were being kept in, stepping in to talk to each one. He saved his favorite for last. He opened the door and grinned. "Glad we found your ugly ass."
The guy on the bed stared at him. "They even had the nurses do my hair for me." He dangled the cuffs they kept him in from his finger with an evil smirk. "So, what did I miss?"
"A shit ton." He leaned in the doorway. "You sane?"
"Nah. Never happened." He sat up. "So now what?"
"Now, we're still in operation but we've had a few...blips."
"What sort of blips? SHIELD? Other HYDRA operatives?"
"That bastard Harris stole some of our stuff for battles. I wrote it off because the offer was to show up and use it ourselves."
"Yeah, I like that. We can get back any extras and get more. He still a free roaming asshole?"
"Slightly. Though..." He stepped in and leaned down. "Harris has a son," he said quietly then grinned. "His ma's sweet and one you wanted." Brock Rumlow stared at him. "Little Adrian Lewis?" He grinned and nodded. "No one else knows to keep them safe. Apparently a one night thing. Though the little shit's cuter than any of us ever were. Wants to be a pirate." He showed him the last video his people had lifted from SHIELD's files.
"Kid's got skills. He kidnaped you?"
"I was told he was mine by Fury." They shared a look. "Harris clued me in though." He grinned. "He does good knots. He got four other agents later that night and kept them for days before his mom found out."
Brock grinned. "Yeah, that's a kid I could see as my protégé."
"Not Lewis, mate."
Brock held up a hand. "You only carry around pictures and videos of the kids you're interested in the mom of, Jackie." He stood up. "We end up with her and I'll get out of the way." They looked toward the doorway at a sound, finding Harris standing there looking smug. "How the fuck did you do that?" He held up his special bracelet on his wrist. "What's that?"
"I'm the vengeance demon over frustrated heros. And yeah, she does read in my areas sometimes." He looked at Rollins. "I wouldn't mind if she didn't, but you will treat my baby good. You'd better be the most excellent, protective stepfather *ever*," he warned then smiled again. "Otherwise, well, I can train him to follow in my footsteps." He let them see a video of him and the kid cleaning the bigger slayer weapons after that meeting and before hitting Germany. Both guys moaned. "Got it?"
"Yeah, mate. If they're mine, they're more precious than my own skin."
Xander grinned and nodded. "They will be because I know a lot of beings who'd *love* to eat said skin." He winked at Brock then disappeared.
Brock looked at Jack. "Well, that's a positive development. He didn't warn you off."
"She was on a blind date with Jack Tyler from the CIA the other night. Met 'im on Tindr."
"Poor woman, having to stoop that low."
"Yeah but she lives in that damn tower."
"We'll figure it out, Jackie." He clapped him on the back. "Let's go see where I want to manage a few things while you handle the rest?"
"Could, yeah. I hate paperwork." They went back to the office together. The other guys were brought into the regular ranks and got to work making sure they were fit enough to be with them. If not, they'd give SHIELD a present or something. A nice gift to announce he was back.
***
Darcy woke up in a room. Which was odd. She had went to sleep in her bed in her apartment. This wasn't either of those areas. She was still dressed when she looked, and even had her fluffy slippers on. She got up to look out the window. Still at the tower, because it had a lot of the same view she had upstairs. "FRIDAY," she called patiently. "What am I doing down here?"
"I believe this was so you could announce certain people were back at their jobs, Dr. Lewis. They gassed you and then carried you down here. Your son is fine, he's still in his aunt's bed. They put him there to keep him safe."
"Uh-huh. Who?"
"I believe one was Agent Rollins by his image capture. He did kiss you sweetly on the temple and said he'd try to flirt more soon. He said I could tell you about that but they were very gentlemanly and did not touch you more than moving you."
"Why did they move me?"
"They were getting rid of some annoying coworkers according to the scarred one I'm not sure of the identity of."
Darcy blinked a few times. "It must be way too before coffee." She walked out of the bedroom to the living room of this empty apartment. And found the 'presents'. "Oh, huh. Sure. Um, who's awake of Clint and Natasha?"
"Both but they're on a run in the park. Sir is up but still mumbling at his non-working shirt. Mr. Wilson is up. He's stretching in the gym. Would that help?"
"Please. And leave a message for Jane about all this?"
"I already have, Dr. Lewis. I've seen you all before coffee before."
"Great, thanks." She looked at the kitchen. A cup from a gas station it looked like. She sniffed. Cold. They had a microwave so she used the edge of her shirt to cover her fingers so she wouldn't leave fingerprints as she warmed up the coffee. Someone pounded before stomping in wearing his uniform. "Hey, Sam!" She took out the coffee to sip, moaning. "Whoever left those with Rollins gave me the great coffee. Damn." She took another drink.
"That could be drugged," he complained.
She stared at him. "They drugged me enough to move me, didn't disturb my clothes, found my fluffy slippers in my closet and put them on me, and tucked me into the bed down here." She took another drink while staring at him.
"Yeah, they're probably not going to poison you." He looked at the tied up people. "Your son does it better." She grinned at that. "Any clue what's going on?" FRIDAY showed the videos of what had transpired and he just nodded. "That's Rumlow."
"Huh?" she asked. "The STRIKE guy?"
"Yeah. Rollins' former boss at STRIKE and Crossbones for HYDRA." He stared. "This may be above my pay grade."
"The spy twins are jogging."
"With Steve," he agreed dryly. "And possibly Bucky. Hey, FRIDAY, is Hill in yet?"
"She's doing breakfast and growling at something in her email," the AI said, sounding cheerful. "I've alerted her that she has a problem here and she said she'll be here in twenty minutes if it's not an emergency. Dr. Lewis, your son is awake and swearing for some reason."
"He hates waking up weird places. He got it from me." She took another drink. Maria Hill stomped in seventeen minutes later. "I got moved here." FRIDAY put up the footage for her.
Maria Hill looked at her. "Do you really want me to become an alcoholic, Lewis?"
"The golden trio of badass are all jogging," she shot back. "It was you or SHIELD."
"They would've ruined my day even worse. Where did you get coffee?"
"Rumlow left it on the counter," Sam complained. "She pointed out they probably didn't want to poison her since they didn't do more than kiss her on the forehead."
"Probably true," she agreed, taking the mostly empty cup anyway. "We'll check it just in case. Escort Lewis up to her apartment to make sure nothing's been touched and let her get dressed?" Sam nodded, doing that. Maria Hill looked up. "FRIDAY, please send those videos to Director Coulson's phone? Even if you have to hack it."
"Of course. Agent Johnson is presently on it so that's very helpful. She's looking at training videos and drooling."
At the SHIELD building, Daisy stared at the video that started to play. "Hey, boss, your phone's hacked by someone or something that's showing security video inside Stark tower," she yelled loudly. He was in the other room. He and Melinda May both showed up to see. She reran it and let them see it. "No clue why."
"The text message that popped up said Hill had it sent," Melinda complained. "It's too early for HYDRA."
"It's nice they gave agents back. Apparently they decided Dr. Lewis was used to dealing with new hostages for ransom," he joked. He reran part of it, making sure Melinda watched that part.
"Great!" she shot back. "He's got a crush!"
"Aww," Daisy quipped, taking the phone back to view it again. "That's sweet." She grinned. "It's not Doom since someone tried to get him to date her by gossip going around from Jemma."
Coulson blinked a few times. "That should probably not happen." Daisy smirked at him, handing him his phone back. "All right, let's go pick up the agents they no longer wanted. I'm wondering if they unbrainwashed them as well." He walked off. Today had started off pretty well with french toast in the caf but now...it was going to be a long day.
Melinda looked at her protégé. "Get dressed." She jogged off to do that, following her out to the SUV. She picked two other agents to help her gather. They ran into Hill as they came off the elevator. "They didn't want them?"
"They left a note in Lewis' apartment saying that those ones couldn't conform to the operations now so they weren't wanted and they weren't talking to HYDRA any longer to pass them on there. They did unbrainwash them."
"Great," Melinda said, sounding perfectly flat and sarcastic. "How charming! Rollins and his flirty ways?"
"A few people have put her and Harris together and think she may be his type but nicer. He's flirted a few times."
Melinda just nodded once. "It's nice he wants to date her. He does know about the child?"
"Yeah. I had an email from Harris saying he had warned Rollins to be the best stepparent to Adrian ever. He had to clue him in to protect her and the kid since Fury told Rollins the kid was his."
"I heard that part." She grimaced. "Well, if she can rehabilitate him...more power to her. She and Foster could probably use the guarding. I heard about Doom?"
"Yes, we've found the ones who are into science and want her as a specialist spouse and lab assistant. Stark put up that she was a doctor in her own right and most of them have lost interest. She did say if Doom did take her in she'd be fixing his country so it was better for the people. It'd be her wedding present to them."
Melinda grinned. "That might be nice. Someone should and I'm sure she's stubborn enough." She looked at the agents. "No gossiping. Go arrest those agents. They're probably pouting they didn't get taken by the kid."
One of the agents was one that Adrian had kidnaped. "Could be," he agreed happily. "And Rollins can be decent, even if he is HYDRA. I never heard he was a brute or an asshole to anyone he dated. Kept it casual and quiet but never hurt one. He and Rumlow beat the living fuck out of one agent who did though." He walked around the senior agents.
"I remember the paperwork on that and denying his injury leave," Hill said dryly. Daisy walked off giggling to help.
FRIDAY cleared her virtual throat. "Master Lewis was left a note saying those were his hostages so he's demanding ransom payments for them, Agent Hill."
"What's the kid's going rate?" she asked.
"He seems to prefer silver change."
"So a few rolls of quarters each?" Melinda asked.
"I believe he likes peanut butter jars per hostage worth but it can be mixed. He's not picky about denomination yet. As long as they can sometimes get him snacks out of the machine in the lab."
Daisy came out. "I heard. Small mason jars, dimes, nickels, and quarters only. Eight of them for the eight agents." The older women smirked at her. She went to the bank by the tower and then a nearby store to get them. It cost them under a hundred-thirty bucks to do that. Which was pretty cheap for a pirate ransom. She went up to give it to him. "Pirate Adrian?" she called. He leaned out of the lab. "I'm Daisy and I'm with SHIELD. I have your ransom." Darcy leaned out to stare at her. "We heard about the note." She winked. "Would you accept these jars of silver for them? One for each one?" She put them down in front of him.
He stared at them then at her. "I demand pops and coffee."
"That I didn't have time to get. That'd take a lot longer to get."
"I think we can negotiate for just these," Darcy told her son, staring at him. "You already had your decaf this morning and your pop tarts with Uncle Thor, son. Accept the booty and say thank you, Agent Daisy."
He grinned. "They may go." He waved a hand. "Thank you, Agent Daisy. You 'gotiate well." He carried his booty inside to play with it for now.
Darcy looked at her. "You didn't have to."
"I get a kick out of the kid and he's a lot cheaper than some pirates out there." She stood up with a wink and a grin. "We've got 'em for him. Does he have other hostages?"
Darcy looked at her son. "I hope not. Adrian, where are your hostages?"
"Just let them go!" he said firmly.
"No, those are the ones that we had tied up in your name," Daisy said.
"FRIDAY?" Darcy asked.
"Same floor, two apartments over, Dr. Lewis," she said quickly. "Two agents and a zookeeper who was going to protest the avengers members. He wanted to protest Thor's listing as an alien. No one wanted to deal with him so the security team handed him to Adrian. The other two were trying to break into the labs so Sir's robots helped him tie them up."
Darcy blinked a few times. "Yeah, okay. Thanks." She looked at Daisy. "You should send Rollins a thank you note for the others."
"I'd have to send it with a tracking device." She felt someone behind her and looked. "You're Harris."
"I am." He grinned and nodded. "Hey, Adrian, I've got a pirate present for you." Darcy glared. "It's not sharp!" He looked at the little guy. "This is a present of respect from another pirate. He was a mean one and thought you'd do better than he ever did when I talked to him about him taking a few slayers hostage." He handed over the sheathed dagger. "You have to be old enough for someone to teach you how to use it before you uncover it. Okay?"
"Yup!" He kissed it then ran to add it to his booty pile, getting down to swim in it. Daisy took film. So did Xander. Then he handed her a picture. He grinned and winked at Darcy before leaving. "Bye, thank you!" Adrian called with a wave then got back to swimming like Bucky had shown him.
Daisy looked at the picture then put it into her pocket. "I'll share that in a minute. That's so adorable. When I have kids I hope they're that cute." She grinned at Darcy. "Anything else show up that wasn't in the report?"
"Not yet. I think I need to talk to certain people about spoiling the kid though."
"He's at a good age for it." She left to go back down there. Melinda and Hill were both waiting on her. She handed over the picture. "Xander Harris gave Adrian a sheathed dagger that he said isn't sharp. Apparently it's a present of respect from the pirate that took some slayers hostage. The one in the picture probably."
Melinda looked then handed it to Hill. "Great. I'll write a thank you note for that report." She followed the 'hostages' down to the SUV's and then got in to drive. Daisy followed the last one and got into the other van. Somehow she ended up with only one prisoner so she could mutter a lot about wacky people and weird kids. The former agent giggled a bit but she got him with her stun gun. That stopped that giggling problem.
***
Sam's phone got a video of that handover and he sighed, showing it to Steve and Bucky.
"Yeah, he'll probably ask me or Clint about how to take care of it," Bucky agreed, grinning some. "His swimming stroke is better."
"Shouldn't we be gently breaking this fantasy of his?" Sam asked.
"All kids want to be something when they grow up," Steve said. "I used to want to be a fireman."
"I wanted to be a teacher because I could nag the parents back," Bucky said. "And a few times a librarian."
"I did the same things but it ended when playtime ended." Sam stared at them.
"It's fine. We've kept him from doing anything too harmful," Bucky said. "Some kids know what they want to be really young too. My sisters sure did, and none of it came with being a mother. Much to my mother's sighing."
Steve grinned. "I wasn't that lucky. But the kid's mostly normal."
Sam just nodded. He'd ask his sister's advice later on, when the two old guys weren't watching. The kid was seriously weird to him. Maybe it was all the science around him.
***
Darcy found Natasha staring at Adrian's knife and carefully took it from her. "Do not sharpen that please. He'll hurt himself or others by accident." She put it back into the sheathe. "Xander stole it off a pirate he took down that was taking slayers hostage and gave it to him as pirate gear like his spare eyepatch." She finished her trek into the kitchen then came back with the danish she had been getting. "Don't teach him weapons yet either please. Wait until he's older. I want him to be a normal little guy who does something normal for his future career."
Natasha smiled at her back. "Of course not. He has to be at least five to handle a knife."
"Try eight for cutting up food knives and ten for self defense ones." She got onto the elevator, going back to the lab.
Natasha shook her head but looked amused. "Much too late. He'll have to deal with bullies by then." She went to talk to Clint about what the boy needed to learn and when. He agreed with the mother, and so did Bucky. And Sam blatantly glared at her for her suggestions. "It could be necessary."
"That's why he's got parents," Sam reminded her. "Little kids shouldn't fight for their lives unless humanity's failed." She grimaced at that reminder. "We're not there yet and unless we're in Max Max, any version including Thunderdome, he hopefully won't need that sort of skills."
"Fine."
Clint patted her on the arm. "Harris gave him a knife?"
"Totally unsharpened. I started with the tip but she took it from me. Gently so I did not get hurt."
"She's good at that," Clint agreed, patting her again. "We need to get him to not trip first, Nat. He needs more flexibility and skills for running."
"Fine, we can start with the more generic things."
Sam looked at them. "I'm worried about you two and your mental states."
They shrugged. "Experience points," Clint quipped.
"Yeah, Lewis isn't that way and if she needs to be, she'd probably get a baby stepdaddy."
"True," Clint agreed. Natasha nodded she agreed, shifting her weight.
"So the boy will need normal things. Sports. Maybe yoga. Swimming skills. Handling making friends skills. That stuff. That's what normal kids get."
The two spies shrugged and went back to planning on getting Adrian into yoga again. He could use it. It'd help with growth spurts too. Maybe they'd get Darcy to learn with him.
Sam walked off shaking his head and sighing. He really was sad about how those two grew up.
***
Adrian's third birthday party was interrupted by a call to assemble but it was mostly for the daycare kids anyway so they were safely at some kid's play place that had a lot of fun for littler kids. Sam had to stay, he had a broken wrist, so they were all safe and the other parents weren't too worried. Adrian wasn't aware anything weird had went on because he was squealing as he rode a carousel ride with Bethany and a few other kids.
The other kids were in a huge ball pit squealing and having fun. It was headache inducing but he was having fun so that's what was important. Darcy had paid up front so there wasn't any problems at the end of the night. Adrian even agreed the workers could have the last few cupcakes and pizzas.
He thanked them like the good boy his mom tried to make him, making the workers smile. Darcy thanked them as well and tipped them some before following her son to the car with all his presents in his Auntie Jane's hands. But no Jane out there. Presents were in the car and the car was open. She looked. "Jane?" she called. "Don't make me call Thor!"
"I'm fine," Jane called from the alleyway. She came out with a new present.
Darcy took it to open then went to look in there. "Hey! It's too much for a three-year-old boy." Rollins pouted. "He's too young for a gun, Rollins. Thank you but he has to be at least ten for guns, bows, or knives."
"Xander let him pet his weapons."
"Yes but those go home with Xander. My son would probably hurt someone by accident." She handed it back with a pointed look. "Thank you though."
"Are you flirting back?" he teased.
"I have no idea about anything other than my son took you hostage." She grinned. "I need to get to know someone before the first date. There's a lot of chatting before then."
He tipped his head. "So that's not a no or a yes."
"That's true, because we've barely talked." She pushed her hair back over her shoulder. Adrian came in and looked up at him. "Say hi, Adrian?"
"Hi, Hostage!" He grinned and waved. "You a good hostage. Steal you again?"
"Some day soon, yeah." He patted him on the head. "Did you have a good birthday?" Adrian beamed and nodded. "Good boy." He looked at Darcy, making her blush at the intense stare. "We'll chat soon." He tweaked Adrian's nose with a wink. "You have a good night. Let me disappear before his honorary aunts and uncles show back up." He strolled off.
"Have good night, Hostage!" He looked up at his mother, who still had the present. "Mine?"
"Um, no. It's a bit too old for you. You have to be ten." He pouted but nodded. "We'll put it on a shelf or something so you can stare at it." She took him back to the car, finding Jane kissing Thor. She held up the gun to let Natasha and Clint see. "Jack Rollins' gift to him."
Natasha nodded. "It's not a bad choice. Very light for his tiny hands." Darcy scowled. "Of course he shouldn't have more than gun safety lectures at his age." Darcy grinned and nodded. "The same as you should. Just in case."
"I know how to use one." She put that into her purse and got Adrian into his carseat. "You're getting so big. Pretty soon you'll just have the booster seat." He grinned. She heard a sniffle and looked. "Bethany, where's your dad?" She shrugged. "Okay, get into the car while I call him." She went inside to look. No dad. No mom, though she hardly ever saw Bethany's mom. She tried to call his phone and no answer.
"Well, you can sleep over tonight." She called the daycare worker's phone. "I know it's late. It's Darcy and I have Bethany. Her dad's not at the party and I can't find him so I'm bringing her back with me. Can you call the mom? Thank you!" She hung up and buckled Bethany in too. "There, that should be okay for the few blocks back to the tower."
She got inn to drive, letting Jane talk to the kids. The avengers all shared a look but got into their rides to go back to the tower too. Darcy barely got everyone and the things upstairs before someone knocked. "Oh, Bethany's mom," she sighed in pleasure. "She was at the birthday party and he seems to have wandered off to get away from the squealing. I hope you don't mind?"
"No, Dr. Lewis, it's fine," the tired looking woman said. "It's probably safer for her." She limped in.
Darcy stared at her back. "I can get an officer or an agent if you need me to," she said quietly.
"I've got a few at the house and one gave me a ride over." She hugged her daughter. Then she grinned at Adrian. "You are such a good friend to her, Adrian." She hugged him too. Then she looked at Darcy. "I'm safe and she'll be safe, Dr. Lewis."
"Okay, but if not, let me know if I can help. I can kid sit and all that if you need me to for a bit."
"Thank you," she said quietly, letting Darcy hug her and Bethany. They went home and let the officers handle things. Her husband was an idiot for not wanting their special kid and he had proved it. Thankfully she worked in the tower so she had access to security and lawyers. Happy Hogan got there not long after she got back to see what she needed to help them both.
Darcy put the bouncy son down into his bed and went to shower and hide that gun. Maybe it was a helpful and practical gift after all.
***
Brock was listening to Darcy putter around on her day off the day after the birthday. She had sent the kid to daycare for the day, apparently he and that little girl were good friends. It made him grin. Rollins was still asleep so he listened to Darcy cleaning the house. She muttered at the laundry as she sorted them. And at the dishes as she hand washed them.
Then she went to take a shower and get comfortable for a bit. He nudged Rollins, waking him up at the first happy noise she made. Jack glared so he handed over the headphones. Jack put them on and put his head back down, then groaned. Darcy was making herself happy. At least slightly happy since it was a hissing little moan she was letting out.
Brock watched how Jack reacted. It was great fun. They did for each other now and then when they got desperate. Lewis would look great between them. Brock could have some happy thoughts about that. Until Jack punched him right in his grin. "Hey!"
"Yeah, suck it up." He went back to listening. She clearly had a vibrator. You could hear it running in the background. And her getting louder and happier. Jack sucked in a breath as she finally got off and he went limp, barely touching himself. "She needs someone to help her with that."
"I'm not against that," Brock offered. Jack scowled. "I won't step in the way though."
"Thanks." He flipped onto his back, considering things. He was hard and he could handle that in a minute. Brock moved to help him with it. "Wonder what she likes."
"Clearly vibes," Brock offered, stroking his buddy off for now. "Probably likes the normal things. I didn't take her as the kinky kind and Harris sure isn't."
"Hmm. That could be fun though. See if she'd like some of my favorite ideas." He grinned, getting off. "Thanks."
"Welcome." He finished himself off and they got a shower before going to talk to their people. "Didn't she say to start a chat with her?"
"Yeah, she does. She's real cautious before the first date. Don't blame her with the assholes out there." He grinned, sending an email about her night and his dreams last night of them at a picnic. He left out that they had the picnic after he had saved some people, that was his reward. He could hear Darcy snoring so he'd get answered later.
Brock grinned at his back because Jack being in that sort of mushy lust was cute on him. Very adorable and soft of him. So when Jack punched him again he just grinned, licked at the blood, and pounced him to beat him back.
***
Adrian pouted at the daycare workers. "Where's Bethany?"
"I have no idea," one said with a grin. "You can write her mother to ask her. Or have FRIDAY ask her if she's not busy."
"FRIDAY?" he called. "Where's Bethany's mommy?"
"She's in accounting and I'll ask her," the AI said. A moment later she sounded happier. "She's visiting her grandmother for a few more days but is expected to be back in two weeks, Adrian."
"Thank you!" He waved at the ceiling then pouted at the daycare worker. "I'm bored!"
"Let's pull out some of the workbooks then, Adrian. You can learn big kid stuff like your mom knows."
He shook his head quickly. "No science! It's for girls."
"It can be but we can work with letters," she offered. "There's even colorable letters." He nodded, going with her to get a worksheet copied off so he could color the letters. She told him how to do it and he settled in with the box of crayons. Most of the other kids were younger than he was and they were napping. Sometimes he missed napping. He yawned but got back to it. Even if he did fall asleep on top of his worksheet and get put onto a cot for a few minutes. When he got up he went right back to it. Auntie Jane did when she fell asleep on her science, he could do it to his letters. The daycare workers smiled at that little determined face. He was so adorable sometimes.
***
Sam looked up at whoever he ran into, smiling at Darcy, who was walking while reading. "How's the kid?"
"Frustrating but that's about normal. We're trying to teach him that most people, including him, don't work like his Auntie Jane does. He's wearing himself out and doesn't understand time management yet."
"That's a hard subject for some people," Sam agreed. "Any luck getting him off the pirate stuff?"
"It's better than some of the things he's seen, Sam. I'd rather he wants to be a pirate instead of a warrior or like his dad. Doing that stuff is a lot more dangerous and comes with a lot more weapons. He's too young for weapons or to know what you guys actually do. Which is why I have to keep locking him in the apartment after battles because he wants to go check on Clint all the time." She walked around him. "But he's good. Mostly. He's on a blueberry muffin kick and I'm out of mix." She sighed. "Thankfully I've got a grocery order started."
Sam blinked a few times. "I didn't think about that. Then again, when I was little I didn't think soldiers do what I do now either." He went back on his trek to the gym.
Darcy waved at Natasha. "The son's being picky."
"What now?" she asked, looking up from her news watching.
"Blueberry muffins. For the last three days. So it should last all week." She made a mug of tea and walked off carrying the steeping mug. "Bruce is knocked out if you guys need him and I've got to wake him up for an interview." She went to that lab, tapping on the glass walls. No answer. She knocked a bit harder. Still no answer.
She opened the door. "Hey, Bruce, it's Darcy and you've got that interview in twenty," she called quietly. Then repeated it more loudly. She sighed. He really did need the rest apparently. He wasn't very good to himself. She put the mug down beside him and checked him. He was chilled. He had a pulse so that was great, but didn't wake up. "Shit! Medical to Banner's lab," she ordered. "Now please!"
Bruce moaned but fell off his stool. She squatted down to check his head, getting out of their way. "I was bringing him tea to wake him up for his interview in twenty minutes. He didn't wake even with me putting his mug down next to him. He tried to wake up and fell onto the floor." She got out of the way. Tony stomped in. "Wouldn't wake up. Even when I put his mug of tea down next to him."
"I thought you gave up scientist wrangling."
"We have a joint interview in twenty, Stark. I was trying to wake him gently and brought him a mug of tea."
"Oh, yeah, that senator's thing that no one wants to deal with," he realized. She nodded. "That's going to cause a stink."
"He'll be in medical," one of the nurses said. "He's been sedated." They lifted the gurney and took him off to be checked over. Darcy wrote a quick note and handed it to one of them. "So he's aware?"
"Yeah. I'll dump out his tea." She did that and rinsed the cup, laying the teabag on the sink's edge to dry. She and Tony left, letting Tony lock the lab. "Let me go brush my hair." She went to do that and then be questioned by people who had no idea what she did or how she did it but demanded the right to be nosy and didn't pay her for it. "Bruce is in medical," she said as she walked in.
Jane grimaced. "Lucky him. They're early."
"They can wait. We have an appointment." She went into the bathroom then came out a minute later. "That's better." She sat down and turned on the video conferencing software, accepting the waiting call. "Good afternoon."
"You're late."
Darcy looked at the clock on the wall behind her then at him. "You scheduled for two-thirty. It's barely two-twenty, sir." He glared. She stared back. "Now, what did you want to talk to me about since I don't accept grants from congress for any of my work, Senator?"
He glared again. "You're mouthy."
"No, I'm honest. I'm also blunt and forthright because I will not have anything I say twisted."
"You scientists...." he stared.
She held up a hand with a grin. "My undergrad was poli sci, Senator, and I interned in your mentor's office for two summers running." He flinched at that. "I know better than to use statements that could get twisted. Now, what did you want to discuss? Is Congress opening new grant opportunities for astrophysicists?"
He stared at her. "Didn't I meet you before?"
"Yes and you totally pinched my side boob area and got tazed for it," she said with a smile. "Because nothing I do is on my knees or back and I wasn't going to be a mistress then either." The man spluttered. "Are there new grant opportunities?"
"It's thought that people like you may be a worry to the rest of the world, young lady."
"I don't see why. I'm very socially conscious and I'm very much pro humanity in all it's many forms. I'm a member of many groups that support and help minorities and I'm also a member of groups that support humanity centered politics. I have been since my undergrad at Culver. Though Culver is a bit conservative leaning, I did learn a lot about humanity from them and how varied and wonderful it is." She smiled. "That's why I went on the humanities tour through the twenty-seven cities in Africa and then three in the Middle East my junior year."
"Cities?" he demanded.
"Yes. Every single country has at least one amazing city in it. Just like they do in Europe. Most of those cities even predate some of the European ones most people consider culturally important. I learned a lot watching how they thought and did things. Including better gardening skills from a workshop we ran to spread new breeds of seeds to villages to see if the more drought tolerant species thrived. Some of those breeds have become very vital to their economies. All non GMO made too, all from breeding." She grinned. "Our biology department worked for years on those and are quite proud of how they do, rightly so in many opinions that matter in that world."
He grimaced. "Fine. Whatever. Your little science things could be dangerous to humanity, young lady."
"I doubt that. I'm not presently working on power research topics and I'll hopefully never have to work on weapons research. So why would anything I find be dangerous?" She made her face look interested instead of laughing at him like she wanted to do.
"Your bridge *thing*," he sneered.
"That's Dr. Foster, not me, Senator. She's worked on it for years and has proven it works well but I was only her intern when she was working on it."
"You're still all the same."
She tipped the camera. "That's Dr. Jane Foster, Senator." She put it back in place. "We're not the same person." He growled. "And nothing I'm working on really has anything to do with Jane's research of the moment. We do occasionally work on the same project but right now isn't one."
"That bridge could bring who knows what down here," he yelled.
She stared at him, one eyebrow going up. "I doubt Asgard is going to invade. The one who did, who was under torture at the time, has apologized for it and reparations were made." He spluttered. "Frankly, half of Asgard considers Midgard, us, to be backwards hicks who have not a clue. We're basically little kids playing dress up to the rest. They only want to come down here for entertainment." She shrugged. "If you asked Thor he'd tell you that if he's being honest. Beyond that, there's been some banished Asgardians down here for millennia. They probably watched us painting on cave walls. They haven't caused a problem yet."
"There's other aliens who could use that bridge *thing*," he sneered.
"No, there's a guardian on the bridge. Which only goes to the other eight realms. He won't let anyone use it and has to allow anyone even on Asgard to use it. His name's Heimdall and he's a massive warrior who can beat Thor in any game Heimdall wants to choose. Including sparring."
"Who is this person?"
"The guy in the gold armor," Jane called. She rolled her eyes.
"He's...black," he said with a grossed out sneer.
Darcy shrugged. "So? Why does that matter, Senator? It didn't matter to the Norse peoples down here, who took in runaway slaves from the Roman empire and had great trading partners in the Middle Eastern trading cultures of the time period. Yes, there were black and asian people in the Norse lands and they were citizens just like they are in the US; though the Norse people did have true gender equality and better women's rights and social programs.
"The history coming out of the actual study of the Norse peoples instead of some man's dream of them is really fascinating and you should read it sometime." She stared at him, adjusting her glasses. "As for other aliens, if they wanted to invade they can fly here. As we've seen, space ships can work to get to this solar system. Though I believe it's the job of SWORD to handle it if they do."
"I think it is," Jane agreed. "They deal with aliens and weird things." She shot Darcy a grin and a wink since she was off camera.
"How do we prevent it, young lady?"
"I'm older than your wife, Senator." She stared at him. "That would be up to SWORD. We can't really make a planetary shield at our current level of science without interfering with sunlight and weather patterns as far as I know. Anything that would protect us would block out sunlight to block out any laser based weaponry. You'd have to ask someone like Dr. Richards or Dr. Stark about that. It's a fascinating area but not one I'm invested in at this moment. I know Dr. Stark has gotten information from a few alien cultures about how they do ships and shields. He may have an idea."
"Dr. Stark?" he sneered.
"Yes, Tony Stark has three PhD's, Senator. He is officially Dr. Stark, not Mr. Stark. Not using his title is insulting just like it is when you don't use it with your coworker, Dr. Henricks. She's got a doctorate in economics from what I've read." She stared at his video image. "We do call him Dr. Stark out of respect for his studies and his work. If he wants less than Dr. he'll tell us. I don't have that familiarity with him at this point so I use his title. As polite people do." She gave him a pointed look, getting sneered at back. "Now, anything else you wanted to talk about today, Mr. Thomas?"
"Where is Dr. Banner?" he demanded. "He was due to be here."
"He's in the medical wing unconscious. I found him earlier and had him sent. I'm sure if you send him an email he'll be able to answer any questions you may still have. Though I don't believe he's very invested in a planetary shield either at the moment. That's not really his area of research. It is mine but I'm more identifying and tracking energy streams at the moment. That way we can tell if something is getting nearer. You need an alarm before a shield."
The senator grimaced. "Fine, young lady."
"Senator, I'm over thirty. I'm not that young." She smiled slightly. "Perhaps your camera is very flattering to me but still." She tipped her head to the right. "Were there any other questions, Senator?"
"I've been told you have a son with someone."
"Yes, I do have a son. His father knows about him but his father is in a dangerous field so he stays out of his life to protect us. I'm very fond of his father and we're fairly decent friends. Why does that matter? Women have been having children since the beginning of time or there wouldn't be a humanity. And if you think me being a mother means I'm not as smart as you're worried I am, you're wrong. And he'll be just as bright as I used to read my homework to him." He choked. "Anything else today, Senator?"
"You're going to be called to answer questions about how we protect ourselves."
"If you must but I can't add much to that talk and it's a waste of money and time. Should I spread the news that there will be one so others can be prepared to show up as well?" He hung up. She closed out the program. "FRIDAY, did Stark see that?" she asked quietly.
"Yes, Sir was eavesdropping and had a good chuckle, Dr. Lewis. And he thanks you for pointing out he does have three doctorates to that windbag, who he has anointed as a waste of his parents' butler's time to raise for them."
"Yes, he was," Jane agreed. "How would you do a planetary shield anyway?"
"Satellite based," Darcy said. "Multiple ones so it's easier to manage and correct if there's a problem but the energy waves will still disrupt sunlight and therefore the weather." They shared a look. "Ask Dr. Malcolm if someone's doing that?"
"I can do that. Didn't you give him a copy of the schematics for the plate system?"
"Yes, but I know no one's going to get it from him and he's used to weird science things." They shared a grin. They both knew he might use it punitively but he could just go visit the dino friends he made. Or send a really bad student there. She turned back to her computer. "What does one wear to talk to congress?"
"Business suit probably. Go in looking stunning, Darce."
"Yes, I can probably do that." She got back to work on her current ideas. They really did need an alien alarm soon.
***
Darcy sat down next to Jane that night. "I figured out the alarm but it means it'll pick up the bridge, any version. Which means some of your data will get out."
Jane considered it. "How far?" Darcy showed her the math for it. Jane read it over, making a correction. "You divided wrong but it still works out. This would announce any energy streams, terrestrial and not." She looked at Darcy. "That would put out some of the data on the bridge before I'm ready."
"Which I don't want to do. It's shitty science and shitty ethics." They shared a look. "So, how soon are you announcing so I can make paranoid assholes like that senator calm down?"
"Wellllll....." She considered it. "I need to talk to Heimdall." Darcy nodded. "I wonder if they have one you can compare to."
"Possibly. Can I put this out without the science behind it?"
"Not if you're going to publish. That would be peer reviewed and they'd want the data points." She considered the math again. "You can't do it without mine either. It won't work on many energy streams. Did you build it on the bridge's back?"
"No. Not that I'm aware of. I built it on the portal system though."
"Which does build on the bridge's methodology." Jane considered it. "Let me talk to Heimdall first?" Darcy grinned and nodded. "Did you save this down multiple places?"
"Yeah, and filed a patent for just this application. Which is marked classified and I did give you a lot of credit if someone looks at it."
"Thanks." She looked that application over, nodding. "That's not exposing what it's built on so that's probably all right." She got up. "Let me go to see if Heimdall's up." She went to the bridge terminus to ring the doorbell she and Darcy had rigged up. Heimdall appeared a minute later, staring at her. She held up the formula. "Darcy's to set up an alarm for alien energy but it'll catch the bridge. She didn't want to let anyone know about the bridge's energy without telling me."
"I saw that discussion." He grinned as he looked it over. "This would catch much but not all." Jane texted and Darcy came up to explain her idea. He considered it. "That energy change would possibly catch some sunspots as well if they were extremely strong."
"It'd blip each time the ISS went past it too," Darcy said. "But I can't narrow it down without it totally blowing open her bridge work and possibly excluding someone like the Kree."
"Hmm. That is a problem." She and Jane went over it with him and he made suggestions, which mostly didn't fully work but it was a later idea.
Thor walked in. "Heimdall, how fares thee?"
"Well, Thor, but your adopted sister has solved a problem and yet it may bring another to the bridge."
Thor looked over Jane's arm. "I know nothing about that."
Darcy smiled at him. "It's an alarm to tell us if alien energy comes near earth. It'd be set on a satellite."
"Ah." Thor considered it. "It would be too broad?" Darcy nodded. "Then someone could possibly refine it greatly at some later date to weed out the bridge."
"The bridge's sensor is built into it," Darcy admitted. "It's the only way to do that and it'd expose some of Jane's work before she's ready. But it is something we could use."
Thor nodded. "It is." He looked at Jane.
"I could go public tomorrow with the bridge but the people aren't ready."
Heimdall nodded. "It works well, Jane Foster. We are not fully ready yet either. Many would want to use it to come be entertained."
Darcy grinned at him. "That senator is a pompous windbag who hates anyone not white and human and male."
"I know many of that type," Heimdall admitted. "They are not interesting to watch." She blushed. "You may wish to search for anything else those who moved you put into your apartment, Darcy Lewis."
"Shit, they bugged it. A listening device?" He nodded with a grin. "Super shit! And I was having fun the other day."
Jane patted her on the shoulder. "I'm pretty sure SHIELD has us bugged too and has heard plenty of me having fun on Thor's abs." She looked at Thor, who just sighed. She grinned at Darcy. "At least it's not a black ops corporate spy group."
"No, it's probably Rollins."
"Well...." Jane considered it. "He's probably not sharing it with anyone since he's been flirty."
"Probably but I got noisy the other day when I took a day off to clean the house."
Jane nodded. "You needed it. You were tense and uptight." She looked at Heimdall. "I could announce it tomorrow."
"You could," he agreed. "It would probably cause a stink."
"We could announce yours at the women in science conference next month," Darcy said. "Or the conference in Russia."
"I do not think it's safe for either of you to go to that," Thor admitted. "Even though Erik is showing up there."
Darcy grimaced. "I'm due to speak there, Thor. On the portal system. I was going to talk to Happy about how to safely do that later this week. Jane wasn't going to go because she was going to watch Adrian? Or is my mom toddler sitting?"
"I think your mom was going to. We can arrange all that this week." She looked at Heimdall. Who shrugged. "When is a good time for you to have it announced?"
"Probably not for many years. Our people can be annoyingly persistent though." He considered it. "Next year would be better."
"I can draw it out," Jane said, looking at Darcy, who nodded. "And if you die or disappear I'll announce it in your name."
"Thanks, Janeybug." She hugged her then Thor. "Let me go pick up the kid from the daycare. His buddy was due back today and he's probably still wrapped around her." She hugged Heimdall too. "I don't mind if you watch me. It might make me do more fun things." She went down to the daycare.
Heimdall smiled. "Her son is most amusing," he noted. "Though he missed taking a hostage again earlier."
Jane rolled her eyes. "He needs to stop that habit of his."
"His father has helped him pet many weapons recently when he was upset about one of his slayers dying. They cuddled while petting missile launching systems." Jane moaned. Heimdall grinned at her. "Yes, very, but it was adorable." He looked at Thor, who was looking up and shaking his head. "Your mother would have been most charmed by him."
"Yes, as she was Loki." He made a face. "Adrian is not as much trouble as my brother had been but he is quite amusing." Jane poked him on the side, making him yelp. "Jane!"
"Quit, Thor. All kids are weird in many ways and all kids have fun things in their lives. If his is taking hostages, maybe he'll use that for his career beyond being a pirate."
"His father's ship is fixed and Xander could easily take him on a trip." Jane stared at him. "Darcy would get sick."
"That would suck for them. She'd hate that."
"Hmm. So perhaps when he's older. Or she can use it to test her alarm system." He bowed with a smirk for Jane before leaving them together.
Jane looked up then at Thor. "Someday I'm going to pinch that man." She walked around her boyfriend.
"He would probably be amused," Thor admitted. "Especially if he has a hangover from a night of mead. The last time he saw into another realm where he and I shared a wife."
Jane paused to blink. "I shared both of you?"
"Not you." He grinned. "You and I had broken up when science became more important."
She stared at him, making him back up a step. "I can see how that may happen, Thor, but you don't mind my science and I don't mind your warrioring."
"True, which is why we work." He kissed her then headed for the kitchen. "Is there meat for dinner?"
"I don't know. I haven't cooked," she said. She followed to see what they were making for dinner. She and Darcy could handle that once Adrian was back up there. They heard the alarm and got the text message alert, making her moan. "Well, fuck!" She went down there to help. Adrian could be the queen of stubborn at times. He wouldn't want to give up the new hostages.
Bethany was sobbing on him but that happened. Jane looked at Darcy, who had just zapped someone. "Nope. Not today we're not," Jane quipped. Bucky raced in too. One of them reached for her. That was the last thing he did since his head deflated from the back coming off. Jane got the kids into the safe room with Darcy. Adrian was scowling.
"Not take my hostages!" he yelled as he was walked off. "They're mean and need to walk the plank!"
"Yeah, I've got a plank they can walk," Bucky called. "The police will take them, Adrian." The boy stared at him then ran off with the other kids because his mom was going to pick him up and carry him if he didn't take her nudges. Bucky smirked at the bad guys, who all looked scared. "I adore that kid. He's so sweet." He punched another guy and he fell down crying because his face was broken. "FRIDAY, are there others?"
"Two, Mr. Barnes. Both tied up in a closet from earlier. Adrian and Bethany were going to split the booty for those two."
Bucky looked in the closet she opened the door to then sighed. "Great. Did HYDRA send you guys?" he asked sarcastically. They stared at him, mouths stuffed with towels. "Did the kid get help tying you up?" They nodded. "Was it the daycare worker?" They shook their heads. "Did she know?" They shook their heads again. "Okay then. Happy!" he called. "Two more in here for the agents. They were HYDRA. Adrian said they need to walk the plank and he and his buddy are splitting any booty."
Maria Hill stomped over, staring at them. "We can split the rewards on their capture between the kids," she decided patiently. She was furious but didn't want the kids to hear her. "Where are the kids?"
"Safe room. The daycare worker was knocked out and Adrian was soothing his little buddy that was crying when I got here. Which was shortly after Lewis. She went momma bear I believe it's called."
"She's probably really good at it." Jane stomped out. "The kids all right, Foster?"
"Yes. They're fine. Not scared. They thought they were new tower guards. Speaking of, FRIDAY?" A video was shown on the local tv about the guard that had helped Adrian. "What's his damage?"
"He's got a crush on Lewis," Bucky said. "We've had a talk." Hill stared at him. He grinned. "The boy needs a good, polite, strong willed stepdaddy."
"Yes he would," Hill agreed. "And a very understanding one." Her people showed up to help gather the idiots. The daycare worker was going to the medical unit. Hill looked at the guy missing the back of his skull then at Barnes. "Yanked his hair?"
"Yeah, a bit too hard. I didn't want the kids to see it and be horrified of me."
"Kids like gory things for some reason," she said then shrugged. "They laugh at horror movies. They'd probably think you doing that is neat until they're about six or so. My godchild would."
Bucky smirked a bit but ducked his head. "Yeah, but I'd rather they not see it from me."
"True. That could get them to mob you." He walked off, following the idiots. She got the parents summoned in from where some were already gathering and waiting. "We think they wanted a few kids to get their parents. They're in the safe room with Dr. Lewis. Her son helped by tying up his hostages." The parents giggled. "He's a pirate," Hill explained to the ones who looked confused. "Caught some agents too." She led them to gather their kids, making sure they signed out. Bethany's mom was held back. "She was sobbing on Adrian's chest," she said more quietly. "He protected her."
"I'll make sure she's all right and thank that little pirate later," she promised.
"Adrian said he's splitting the booty for the new hostages with her. Two do have rewards for capture so we'll make sure it goes to her college fund?"
"That'd be appreciated. Thank you, Agent Hill." She went to gather her kid, who Adrian was cuddling on his mother's lap. "Thank you, Darcy."
"It's not a problem. She was scared but he was being a thug." Bethany's mother giggled but picked her up to cuddle.
Adrian looked up. "She can sleep over and swim in my booty with me. Girls shouldn't cry. Booty swimming makes her happy. It does me."
"If she wants, she can stay over this weekend for a few hours, Adrian." She leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. "Thank you for helping her." Adrian grinned and kissed her on the cheek. "Such a good boy." She carried her daughter off, signing her out. Happy had her escorted to her car.
Darcy carried her son out, signing him out. "We're going upstairs," she told Hill. "He's not old enough to report."
"Probably not," Hill agreed. "We have video for that, Lewis." She nodded, carrying her son off and Jane following. Hill sighed. "That kid is very interesting." One of her remaining agents looked over. "Agent May requested she get to train him."
"Pity. I heard Hawkeye was."
"He's working on his flexibility and stuff. Lewis said no weapons training until ten."
"Good!" The agent nodded. "I'd hate to see him with her tazer, boss."
"He did steal it a few times to zap people so he could take hostages of lab techs." She grinned. "He's a little pirate." The agent just walked off nodding. Hill was amused, the kid did bring some life to her drab existence of paperwork and avengers.
***
Rollins checked the feed for the night, hearing her crying. Not sobbing like she was hurting but stress crying. He checked the news people who watched over the tower, finding out why. "They're stupid." Brock strolled over to read over his shoulder. "She's stress sobbing." He let him see the news source. "Tried to get some kids to get geniuses."
"The ones doing it certainly weren't." He got their hacker to download the video from the tower so they could see what happened. "That guard is a pain."
"Yeah, he's crushing hard but Barnes had a discussion with him." He nodded. "That little girl's neat. Must be his buddy Bethany. He told me about her."
"Huh. You two chatted?"
"While he had me tied up." He grinned. "He's a good one to tie you up."
Brock patted him on the back. "So maybe bondage gear for his next birthday?" he asked with a grin. "He could probably use some good handcuffs."
"Regular ones with extra keys in case he locks himself in them or his mom." He grinned. "Not a bad idea." He went to look up how much cuffs were. He'd never bought his own, they had always been given to him by SHIELD. Brock grinned at his back. "Go train the rookies."
"Gladly, brother. They could use whipped into shape." He got a few things and went to the training area. "Fall in!" he shouted. "Training time, bitches!"
***
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Clint Barton yelled, running up the halls. Everyone looked. Why would he be running from something instead of firing an arrow at it. Then they saw a familiar kid laughing as he chased him, and he had a crossbow. A nerf one though.
A few minutes later his mom stomped past growling. "I said no weapons until he's ten! That means nerf too damn it!"
"Sorry," Clint yelled back. "He's chasing me!"
"You're the one that gave him the nerf crossbow!" She found her son, taking it from him. "No weapons yet, son."
"But mine! We're playing, Mommy!"
She stared at him. "No weapons, son."
He pouted. "Mine," he whined, reaching for it. "Please! Just playing!" He started to throw a mini fit. Darcy huffed but tossed the crossbow at Clint's head before picking up the kid and carrying him off. "Mommy! Playing with Unclie!"
"Sorry! Uncle Clint is grounded for the rest of the day for giving you that weapon, son. You could have been hurt and he needs to stand in the corner." She glared at Clint before going down the stairs. "You can play with Uncle Clint tomorrow when he's not grounded." He sniffled again. "Sorry but he's grounded." She walked him into the lab and put him in his chair. "You calm down and we'll let you deliver stuff."
Jane looked back at her. "What happened?"
"He was chasing Clint up the hall with a nerf crossbow."
Jane blinked a few times. "Nerf's mostly safe."
"For those over eight. They're rated eight and up, Jane. He could fire at Clint and miss and hurt someone else. He's not allowed to have weapons until he's ten. Even nerf."
"Fine." She cuddled the boy. "You can play with Uncle Clint again tomorrow, Adrian."
"Yup, because today Clint's grounded." Steve walked in and she stared at him. "Clint's still grounded."
"That's fine. The ...thingy." he said with a look at the kid.
"I threw it at Clint's head. He caught it."
"They're supposed to be safe."
"Rated eight and up," she said firmly. "We got two calls from people who got tagged by him by accident. One of them in her chemistry lab, Rogers."
"Oh. Okay. Mom rules apply." He grinned. "Can I teach him to paint?"
"Why don't you teach the whole daycare to paint and draw?"
"I guess I could." He picked up Adrian. "Come draw with me and the other kids?" Adrian looked confused.
"Steve can draw the worksheets," Jane explained.
"Oooh. Please? I can do worksheets?" he asked his mother.
"As many as you want, Adrian." She kissed him on the cheek. "Let Uncle Steve show you how to draw neat stuff. You can draw a picture for the fridge tonight." He beamed and nodded at this uncle.
Steve took him off to go to the daycare with him. "Darcy suggested I could teach the kids how to draw?"
"Sure," the daycare worker agreed, grinning at him. "Kids love art." She showed him the art stuff she had and he settled down with the older kids to show them how to draw simple things. They were doing shapes so that was good for them.
***
To Be A Baby Daddy Or Not To Be A Baby Daddy, That Is The Question.