Law and Orderly Chaos. by Voracity2

Law and Orderly Chaos.

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Xander walked up to someone a few days later. "I'm going to butt in so my twin doesn't have to play politics." He smiled.

The agent stared at him. "You're the watcher twin, right?"

"Yup, sure am." He beamed and nodded. "And there's a few plots against my twin and against that nice guy Tony he knows. Including some cranky woman sort who thinks she's going to own him for not doing what she wants. I'd hate for her to make the plan that she has to sex drug them and make them fuck come into being. I mean, I stopped the succuba doing that."

The agent blinked a few times. "What woman?"

"Sheppard something or other?"

"Is she the one who fired DiNozzo?"

"Yeah." Xander nodded with a grin. "Yeah, that's his name. They're going over strategies for the L3 tests he's got next week while playing with the dogs. This is after Wolfram and Hart tried to get the dogs last night. Pity about them. And the mess someone had to clean up. I'm pretty glad I've got stuff in storage up here."

He smiled at the paleness that was starting. "Can you guys maybe protect my twin for me? Because I don't want Alex to go into evil queen mode. There's already one demon who thinks he'll make a great queen for him but Alex isn't that sort of empress of evil."

"Yeah, I can pass that along."

"Great." He snapped his fingers. "By the way, Alex and Tony came up with this to hand to whoever that woman thing is." He handed it over from his back pocket. "Apparently her plots are annoying them and Alex is teaching his buddy how to be the evil empress that even Ming the Merciless would bow before. He's almost all the way past Power Rangers villain today."

"Ooooh. My kids watch that," he muttered, looking at the form. "Oh, dear."

"Oh, yeah. They've been doing things like blocking his email and voicemail so he didn't get messages from his professors."

"Crap. I'll have someone hand that to her, Mr. Harris."

"Thanks!" He grinned. "I'm getting some nice donuts on my way back to Africa. Alex let my boyfriend be taken by someone for being an ass to him recently so I have to go rescue him before they decide he's a fun slave." He sighed. "Donut shop is this way?"

"Around the corner to the left, Mr. Harris." He pointed. "Thank you."

"Welcome. Have fun. He will be. He's even wearing fancy clothes and silk boxers to make him happy while he does it. Buffy taught us to have the perfect outfit for things."

The agent shuddered. "I'll tell someone." He went to tell his boss, who was not happy! Especially with the idea that Alex Harris was wearing clothes that made him sexually happy while making plots against the problems and plots in his and his friend's life. The supervising agent sent the paperwork over with a junior agent who could duck if she shot at them. Then he went to spread gossip. DC lived on scandals and gossip.

***

Tony answered his phone after his last class of the semester. "DiNozzo." He listened. "You're full of shit, Director Sheppard. I'm not going to rejoin NCIS to guard you for any reason. You tried to have me killed." He hung up and sighed, going to email someone from the computer lab. McGee would need warned before she pulled him in.

In NCIS, McGee looked at his email then at Gibbs. "The former director tried to get Tony to guard her on some sort of mission."

Gibbs blinked a few times. "What?" McGee forwarded it so he could read it. "That makes no sense."

"Sounds like she's trying to get him again?"

"Maybe," Gibbs said, sending back an email to Tony to be careful. There was no telling what sort of plot this was.

***

Alex pulled up beside Tony, opening the other door and nodding. So he got in and went with him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, she showed up and tried to kidnap me at gunpoint." He frowned. "She said only I could guard her. I pointed out she wanted Gibbs, not me as I'm not an agent right now thanks to her." He rubbed his forehead. "I had her arrested."

Alex nodded. "Good. She needs it." He pulled up in front of a doctor's office. "Go get that blood pressure checked? You're red."

Tony looked at himself in the visor mirror then groaned and went inside to have his doctor check him over. Thankfully it didn't take that long. Alex drove him to a pharmacy too. "This is not how I wanted to end this school year."

"Me either. My law firm's in talks with another one to buy them to be joined in unholy union. So I may be starting my own office."

"Well, you can afford that."

"Yeah. And the one who tried to get into it was very sorry. I'm getting the rest back or I'm going to destroy them." He grinned at Tony. Then looked at the road again. "Tonight probably. Want to dog sit?"

"That's calming, I can do that. Thanks, Alex."

"Welcome." They paused to get Tony's new blood pressure pill then back to Alex's house so Alex could go destroy a law firm. Again. This time he wasn't going to be quite as nice. He wasn't going to go full on Xander but he was going to be a bitch they didn't want to try again. Even if they tried to laugh at him for it. Until he pulled out his status and beat one of the higher ups, thereby taking his status too.

They transferred his money back to him that night and he shut down all the offices. The three higher demons showed up but he had weapons. Xander's weapons but still weapons. Alex smiled at his mess. "I'm surprised Cordy isn't here being a cheerleader for that," he told the mess he had made. "Hmm. Hope she's having a happy night." He turned around to find a slayer there. "Hey, Faith." He grinned. "They decided to try shit against me."

She looked around him at the mess then at him. "What were they?"

"Wolfram and Hart's top three. I've got to go gather all my new status points and things. Wanna help?"

"Sure, I guess. As long as I don't have to walk over human remains." She looked at the mess as they walked past it. "Gross."

"I bummed from Xander." He grinned. "But no more big problems from the evil law firm. Remind me to break their soul storage device too."

"I can definitely do that." They went in to gather all the little parts they had claimed from clients. Alex did tip over the soul holding device, then kicked it until it broke for good. A lot of people got the feeling of relief once he was done. He gathered a last few, looking at them and handing her some. She had to use her shirt to hold them all. He walked out with his chosen few. "Get the rest, Faith. Give them to Giles."

"I can do that probably. He'll be here tomorrow to testify about this law firm."

Alex grinned. "Tell him he's welcome and they tried to step into my face. Again."

"I guess I can do that too." She looked and grabbed a few last things. "You don't want the sword? It's shiny."

"It'll soul bond itself to the user."

"Yeah, don't need that," she decided, putting it back. She grabbed something she had dropped and put it into her shirt, following Xander out. She smiled at the staring people. "What?"

"You're a slayer," one said.

"I'm Senior Slayer Faith. Alex retired from us. Giles sent me after him."

"Oh, shit," that one muttered. "He's not the one in Africa?"

Alex smiled back at him. "No, I'm his twin. I'm the lawyer." He waved and held the door for her, humming as they walked off together. Another demon appeared but it was D'Hoffryn. "Howdy. Nice night, isn't it?"

The lord of vengeance demons stared at him. "You cannot hold those, Harris."

"I can hold those. They can sit in my safe."

"You're human."

"Mostly. I do carry hellmouth taint." The demon lord sighed. "The rest are going to Giles."

"It can taint a human," he said, looking at Faith.

"Glad I'm a slayer then?" she guessed. "I'll let him know to bring a big box."

The higher demon moaned. "It's a bad thing."

Alex grinned and looked up. "I claim all the status that I just won via conquering the Lords Wolf, Ram, and Hart," he intoned. "By the Laws of Haraman, I am the winner so therefore won their status, holdings, and wealth." A thunderclap went off. He grinned at the higher demon. "Better?"

"Damn it. This could complicate things for your twin."

"I doubt that. I'll share with Xander and replace the stuff I had to borrow." He walked around him, patting him on the arm. "Remember, I'm a lawyer, I do think about things."

"Crap." He disappeared to spread that around.

Faith walked off giggling. "I love watching you confuse people."

Alex grinned at her. "It is enjoyable." He let her into his car and took her back to their hotel. Giles was not pleased to see them. "They came after me. Again. I warned them." He shrugged. "She's got yours." He strolled off. "Call me for lunch tomorrow. I'm just working against my law office being bought out, or planning on starting my own."

"He made a huge mess, Giles. Three high level demons."

"Oh, dear." He let her in to look those markers over, putting them all in a safe for now. "I'll get a secure box to put them in tomorrow." He patted her on the arm. "Go rest, Faith."

"Really, I got there after the mess. I just helped him gather them from the office place. And didn't take the sword he said would soul bind the user."

"That's an excellent idea." He went to call the higher watchers. They could all have a lot of fits without them having to hear them. Or them going off on Alex. Because the boy would probably shoot back at them.

***

Alex smiled at the lawyers staring at him. He had made an unhappy noise about the upcoming merger they were pressing on them. "I don't think that would benefit this firm, which has often worked for the peaceful community. Your firm's methods are questionable ethically and really distasteful criminally. How would that help the firm or the peaceful community?"

The man making the proposal stared at him. "I heard you were business law."

"Yes but I also have passed the bar in Criminal law and hold an international certificate in case I'm needed to help my twin again."

"Oh." He looked at the higher ups.

"When did you get the international one, Harris?"

"Last year. Took me a bit longer to study for it. Xander got arrested for stopping someone in power who was sacrificing newborns so he could do an ascension. That's why I had the vacation." He smiled. "That one's in both criminal and contract law."

"That makes sense for you." He looked at the one pushing the merger. "How would this help us with our mission to help the peaceful community?"

"We were looking to join into that ourselves."

"Then the proper thing is to tell the USDC's legal board so they can add your name to the list," his usual boss said.

Alex nodded. "They don't even demand paperwork. They put you on the referral list until someone complains about you then look into it. There's not enough of us on it."

"Do you handle criminal matters?"

"Yes. Mostly ones that have been arrested for stupid and/or prejudice reasons." He grinned. "There's a few judges who realize I'm an asshole but I'm right."

The man shook his head. "Are all of your people that rabid?" he asked the partners.

"Yes." They smiled. "It would be good for our bottom line, Harris."

Alex looked at him. "So would charging a standard rate?" he suggested. "I know and like that we charge a lesser than usual rate for some cases, but some of the corporate stuff I usually handle could be raised to a standard rate. Not all of them, a lot of them are struggling financially due to the harassment, but the ones like that Builder Corporation that's a front for the demonic mafia? We could easily charge them the standard rates."

"Is it?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I always research what's said about the companies I'm helping so I can make good arguments and know if there's a landmine like the assassin's guild you had me going to talk to about their problems. Which was nice because the SBA really liked them more than they do small businesses."

The partners shared a look then looked at the supervisor over the business people. He pulled it up and let them see it. "Oh, they are," one of the partners said. "Is that a legal business, Harris?"

"Yes. I made sure first. I got talked into helping the assassin's guild but I make sure they're all legal otherwise."

Patricia cleared her throat. "I've had one of those too but when I brought it up Alex took it to talk to them about their problems and added them during another talk about another business. I wasn't sure if it was a legal business."

Alex shrugged. "Mostly. One of the people at the top wasn't really legal. I met with him before I did that because it was the same problem that plumbing business had, lack of forms and taxes."

"Wow," she said, staring at him. "Was it easy?"

"Pretty." He nodded with a grin. "I know you're ethical, Patricia, and want to stay that way." She nodded. He looked at the other one in his section. "Alexsis. Have you had any?"

"Only two over the last five years, Alex. I noted it to them and they fixed it. They looked like Capone."

Alex nodded. "That figures. Some do. They live in clans that does look like the mafia structure." He looked at the partners, who were smirking at him. "What? They play kitten poker too. One owes me about ten kittens right now and I owe another one two kittens."

His boss sighed. "Again?"

"Yeah. I play kitten poker at least once a month to keep track of what my twin's doing. That's how I found out I needed to go defend him for stopping a president from wanting more power."

His boss shook his head. "President?"

"It was a president, his wife, and a judge, who was the one who refused Xander bail. He agreed to let him out after the ascension, signed the paperwork beforehand so he could hunt him down to eat him after he changed." He grinned. "So I filled in. The community down there got the wife, the judge kept tripping and I got him.

"The president and the judge didn't make it to full on ascended demon and instead turned into some sort of sludgy, flaming higher level being. Still went up in flames." He leaned back and crossed his feet under the table. "I'm retired from the Council. Well, from the Sunnydale team that remade the Council."

The one wanting to merge the firms blinked at him. "You've led a weird life, Mr. Harris."

"My twin does it better. His boyfriend thinks I'm boring."

He nodded at that, looking at the partners. "Do you have many like him?"

"Only two I think. The other's from a family of demon hunters." Alex looked down at him. "Gail in criminal, Harris. She's laughed about your idea for the law."

"It'd help and could help a lot of other problems as well."

"Yes it could," he agreed. "It's simplistic and assumed, which means it can be overturned or fixed in other ways." He looked at the merger person. "We do have very dynamic people and very smart people. Then we have Alex, who says he turns into the empress of evil sometimes when people force him."

"Yes, and I enjoy it. I wear silk and other pretty things to make myself happy while I'm in evil mode," Alex purred.

Alexsis looked at him. "TMI, Harris."

"Sorry!" He grinned at her. "Didn't mean to overshare. Especially since you're evil enough to want to flirt with me."

"I grew out of that when I got to know you, Alex." She smirked back. "You're kinda too bouncy for me."

"True, I can be." He grinned at his staring higher ups. "Like any Harris, I'm often dated by those who aren't really legal and happy with humanity. They enjoy the hunt and then I get to have a real date again."

His boss shook his head. "Harris!"

"Sorry. I'll just sit here and look smarter than I am."

Alexsis looked at him. "You got decent enough grades."

"And struggled the whole way," he assured her. "Law classes drove me nuts."

"It did it to all of us," Patricia assured him. "What was your score for the international bar?"

"About seventy-ninth percentile." He grimaced. "Enough but not great."

His boss nodded. "You did better on ours."

"The international is a monster," Alex told him. "Nineteen parts sort of monster. I had to learn laws from over sixty countries because I overstudied." His boss winced. "Yeah. Tony helped me study while I helped him with his L2 classes and some of his L3. I can retake a part of it next year if I want to."

His boss nodded. "It never hurts. Especially if you have to change because of the merger."

"I'll start my own out of the house."

"Not a bad idea. Low cost of ownership," his boss agreed with a nod.

The partners all nodded at that idea. "So, how will this help us with the needs of the peaceful community?"

The one over the merger sighed a tiny bit. "It would help us add to your skills and cases. We have a few bigger cases that some of your people could help us with." She looked at Alex. "Including some business advising."

"Most of mine have been bigotted assholes who hate the peaceful community," he admitted with a grimace. "Making paperwork disappear, changing rules, trying to end their companies." He nodded at that. "When I looked your firm up, you barely dealt with cases like ours. Criminal you did a few of but mostly you were the lighter version of Wolfram and Hart."

"We've heard that comparison."

"Did the agents have fun with them today?" Alex asked with a grin.

The man stared at him. "That was you?"

"They stepped in my face again." He smirked a bit. "Tried to shoot at my dog too." Alexsis winced at that. "But yes, I'm the one who turned them in originally."

"Oh. Interesting."

"We also saw that you had two ethically unreasonable cases that you took and followed through with, even though you didn't have to. You offered to take those cases from a lesser firm that you've tried to absorb."

"They couldn't handle those with the agency they had."

Alex nodded. "You still took on the case to get a higher up free of charges for starting an invasion of LA. And the case that was basically a demonic mafia guy for killing three families because he wanted their homes."

The senior partners looked that up so Alex slid down his tablet. They read them over and stared at the merger person. "They did," one agreed, sliding the tablet back. "We are ethical here. We pride ourselves on staying ethical. Even if Alex does sometimes have things after work that make people look at us oddly."

Alex looked down and shrugged. "I'm usually having fun, boss." He sat back again. "Tony was thinking about looking at our openings in criminal next year."

"When he's passed the bar, let us know," the senior partners agreed.

Alex smiled. "He's L3, just finished the tests."

"Good luck to him," Alexsis said. "Fourth year nearly killed me."

"You and me both," Alex agreed. "I fell asleep during my last tests and snored so loudly they woke me up to make me stop. So I didn't get to take one section over. I had to hurry up the essay."

"That explains a lot," his boss said.

Alex grinned at him. "I'm shocked I did that good too."

The merger lawyer looked at him. "Is he the reason you're hesitating?"

"Alex has a finely tuned sense of danger," his supervisor said happily. "It comes from years of needing it at home." Alex nodded at that. "Is that making you uneasy?"

"It's making me unhappy. It's not making me sweaty but I am worried about how this'll make us look. After having dinner with a few of their contract people to check out the potential merger, they told me some things that aren't very...happy making. Like they're pushed to take cases even if they don't think it's a good idea.

"They're money driven instead of case or cause driven." He tipped his head to look at the guy. "That they're pushed for so many hours a week even over their stated contracted hours. They noted that they got asked if that was their actual hours worked if it was low."

"That is a bit worrying to how we work," his supervisor agreed. "We tend to check cases to make sure they're ethical and a good reason. We're firm on our hours billed and don't try to add on somehow. Or double bill. Alex almost did that once by accident so we went over his hours worked and why he had worked on two at once. They were the same issue but we don't allow double billing." He looked at his bosses. "We could take them over and add them to our agency."

The bosses considered that. "That may not increase our profits enough to pay for them. Plus buying that group would cost us a lot."

Alex nodded. "True. Are we in bad enough shape that the merger is make or break?"

"No," his supervisor said. "It would benefit our bottom lines. It would also benefit us with some extra people for overtime."

Alex looked at his team then at him. "Criminal?"

"Yes. And health care both have," he agreed with a slight nod. He looked down. "Do you have power of attorney paperwork after that incident a few years back?"

"Yeah. I redid it after that. It devolves to Tony if my twin can't be reached. It's in my office safe with the deed to the house and my will." He grinned at Patricia. "Thank you for that warning. Someone did try to change the title to my house so I have it locked down and noted legally that I'm not going to sell it. It was another attempt by Wolfram and Hart."

His boss looked at him. "Are they going to continue doing that?"

"No. I fixed that last night for good, boss. And claimed their status." He grinned. "They tried to shoot my dog. Faith said that I made a mess when a demon lord showed up."

His boss blinked a few times. "Faith?"

"Senior Slayer Faith." He grinned.

"Oh." He nodded. "That's fine. Their heads were evil and had soul clauses."

Alex nodded. "Tony had to tell the government they had some too. They had done some contractual work for a few agencies." His boss winced. Alex waved a hand in the air. "Broke it."

"Thank you, Harris." He looked at the senior partners then at the merger person again.

He licked his lips. "Mr. Harris, how did you do that?"

"My twin is still Xander Harris. I was still on the Sunnydale team until after we took down the Initiative." He raised an eyebrow and smiled. "I'm retired not helpless. I won't stand for evil. Especially the one that had LA invaded by nibbling little bastards. I pride myself on helping and being fine with anything peaceful. No matter the species or where they come from.

"If they're peaceful I'm okay with them. If they're not....it had better not start around me." He shrugged a bit. "I'll step in if I'm the only one there or it starts in my face. That's why I went to law school, to help the peaceful community that's being discriminated against by stupid things like paranoid people. Thankfully I found people who think the same way." He waved a hand around.

"I see." He looked at the partners.

"We feel about the same way about most beings. Though a few cases have made us worried about the ethics of handling it." He looked down at Alex. "The mafia case?" He pulled up the files for him to go over. "That was ethically handled. Nice work, Harris."

"Thank you, sir. I try to stay very ethical."

"It's a good thing."

Alex looked at him. "Can you not assign me to the vampire house case then? I'd feel a conflict."

"We've talked," his supervisor said. "They did ask for you."

"Yes, but I hunted because vampires are fucking assholes and took out the one person that would've kept me from hunting. I'm not sure if I can be impartial."

"They're using a feeder."

"That's nice. It's still vampires. My one thing I will not allow near me."

That got a nod. "We can look at it. Patricia and Alexsis can't do it."

Alex grimaced. "Then I want a second behind me please. That way I do not misstep because they're vampires."

"I can do that," his supervisor agreed. "Conference me in with everything. They did ask for you."

Alex looked at him. "Did they know who I was?"

"Don't know."

"Point. If I must."

"Thank you."

"Though they're having pipe dreams. They want to incorporate the house as a non-profit charity for other vampires."

His supervisor considered that. "Not likely."

"I think they should incorporate as a service agency," Patricia said.

Alex nodded. "That's what I was thinking. Or as a brothel since that's one service they offer. If they're a service agency they can't do that under the same company umbrella."

Patricia grimaced. "That's so weird."

Alex looked at her and nodded. "It is." He looked at his boss, pulling up his notes. "That's what I have from them so far."

He looked it over. "Service agency would be doable but they would have to unload the sexual components and we wouldn't be ethically capable of helping with that part." He slid the tablet back. Alex nodded. "We can talk to them tonight."

"Okay. I have something at nine though."

"I didn't know that."

"I may be able to reschedule." He sent an email and got back a 'sure' and a picture of his dogs pouting. "Tony said my dogs are pouty. He ran out of puppy treats." He ordered some to be delivered to him then put his tablet aside again. "Sorry. He needed puppy treats and dog food since he's destressing by dog sitting today."

His supervisor nodded. "The dinner with him?"

"Giles. I can go after ten."

His supervisor nodded at that. "We'll make sure you make it." He sent an email to that client to let him know about the change of time. "Where are you two meeting?"

"Cabal."

"We can meet there. They wanted in Arlington." He added that and got an agreement. "Okay." He put his phone up with a smile.

"You'd handle helping them set up a service agency?"

"Yes. If they hire us for that," the supervisor said with a smile. "It's not my favorite thing and we'll have to put out some rules about what we can handle and what we can't." The partners agreed with that by nod. The merger lawyer was giving him an odd look. "We do practice ethics here. He's right to bring that up to us since we're all together." Patricia and Alexsis both passed down files for him to glance over. "Patricia?"

"That's why I'm asking."

"Did you have Alexsis look it over?"

"I have," Alexsis agreed. "And I wasn't sure if that was something we could handle."

Alex leaned over to look. "I handled yours last year, Alexsis. Are they trying again?"

"Yes. He mentioned that and that you're scary intense but he's heard the SBA has banned you again."

"Yeah and like last time they've called a meeting, got mad that I wasn't there, I told them why again, and they yelled at the agent who banned me." He grinned. "It's ended again. I warned them that second business wasn't a great idea. It'd need a lot of extra paperwork since it's a club."

She nodded. "It would."

He looked at Patricia's and grimaced. "Eww."

Patricia nodded. "That was my first impression too. It's a need."

"It is. That's going to need someone from health care and their regs probably since they want to recycle it into the peaceful community's menu." He grimaced. "And it'll get a lot of hell."

"Probably," she agreed, looking at their supervisor.

"I think it could happen. Didn't we have one?"

"They got shut down last year," Alex said, looking it up. "For that very reason and people considering it foul." He let Patricia see.

"That's going to suck," she said. "But we can see what'd be needed at least. That way they could make plans and come back."

"That's reasonable. Talk to Helva in Health Care," their supervisor said, handing them back. "Alexsis, I think you can handle that ethically but you have to make sure they know where the ethics line is drawn and what you can handle for them." She nodded. He looked at the partners, who nodded they agreed. The merger lawyer was staring at them. "We don't handle certain types of cases. Including those who're criminally guilty but trying to get out of it. Or things like brothels starting up."

Alex sat up, leaning on the table. "Bottom line, is the merger going to enhance our reputations or theirs?" he asked the partners. "Will it be us being swallowed up and chewed into their usual methods or are we going to be more of a sub office, doing what we've always been doing?"

The partners shared a look. "Those are good ideas, Harris." He looked at the merger lawyer. "We can go over those later. We'll take a meeting."

"That's fine. I'll let our merger team know about them and schedule a meeting with your team." He shook hands and went to tell them. Their company would have some serious qualms about how ethical they were. Especially that one. They had no idea anyone had such tight ties to the peaceful community.

***

The senior partners gathered everyone together. "The merger is off," the original lawyer in the group said. He looked at everyone. "They thought we were too ethical for them." A few laughed. "Especially our criminal section." He looked at them. "They were horrified that you don't take cases that you know are wrong. They are the sort that'll take any case because of the money."

"Yet buying other law firms means they spend more," one of the people from health care said. "If they quit doing that it might help their bottom lines."

The boss nodded. "True. They want to be multi-national instead of regional." That got a sigh and a nod from a lot of them. "They also noted our business and contract department are uptight." All of them shrugged at that. "And they found it weird they had pets."

"Would they be happier if they were non-furry kids?" Alex joked.

"No. They didn't want that either, Alex." He looked around. "So the merger is off but we've gotten a few other groups who wanted to talk to us about the same thing. They think we're in financial trouble and we are not but they want to absorb smaller groups." He looked around. "I will not compromise our ethical standpoint." That got some smiles and a few nods. "Any other notes to be made?"

"One of their clients tried to come to us," one of the criminal people noted. "But he's guilty and trying to get out of it. We said we could help him negotiate a deal for lesser sentences. He hated that. He wanted someone to defend him. But I'm not sure if he was actually guilty." He looked at Alex. "He thinks you'd stop us from representing him."

"Not really. Why would I?"

"He's related to Wolfram and Hart."

Alex shrugged. "If they're guilty, they're guilty. Most of them are not only guilty but dirty as hell. And possibly stupid if they didn't read their contracts and see the soul claiming clause. Most of us wouldn't sign a contract with that in there."

That one shook his head. "No, we wouldn't." He looked at the boss again. "I went over it with my supervisor and he agreed, by the rumors the guy was guilty."

"Want me to ask?" Alex asked.

"No. That way you can't be called compromised."

"Okay. Let me know." He looked at the boss, who was shaking his head.

That reminded Alex, he had to find out if the law firm was part of the status of the demon lords or a separate business he had to end immediately. He made himself a note while the others asked questions of the senior team.

Someone sent him a house listing to look at and he wondered who they were but he did give his opinion on it being a nice looking house, but a bit farther out than most people would want since it was over two miles to transit, and driving in DC sucked.

Otherwise it was a nice looking house that had some very bland furnishing and paint colors, and no area to watch tv in. He put his phone back after looking up that number to see who they were. It was a cellphone number so not really listed properly. He'd figure that out later.

***

Alex looked at the top lawyers that had done work for the old Lords over Wolfram and Hart. "I really wasn't going to take the law firm; I was sure it was a separate business entity, people." They groaned at that. "I had no intention of taking the law firm. But frankly, I've broken the soul capturing device." They shivered. "And you're all free. Because if it stays mine I'm going to eliminate the threat to the world."

He shrugged but grinned. "Anything else to talk about?" They shook their heads. "Then let's end this sad agency of stupid ideas and bad law ethics." He clapped his hands, pulling out papers. "If it's mine I think I want to do this." He let them see it.

"The senior board would hate that but they're mostly banished now," one of them admitted, staring at him. "It's said you were in Sunnydale."

"Yes, we grew up in Sunnydale when we were just one Xander Harris. Born and bred there actually. Born really near the hellmouth too. Which is why I was so amused you guys came after me for my job and not my hellmouth taint." He smirked at their groans. "Yeah, me and the twin were the shortcut they needed. Pity. They could've used Cordelia Chase too but, well, Angel apparently got in their way too often." He smirked again.

That one blinked. "You knew Chase?"

"Yeah, we're the same Xander she dated in high school who screwed up. The same one backing up Buffy." He grinned. "I'm sure Cordelia would be happy you made it out of there, Lindsay. She told us about you."

"Oh." He blinked a few times. "Oh, crap."

"Yeah. And Connor would probably say hi too. I told him about taking out the top echelon of the law firm and he laughed himself literally sick until Gunn got told and went on a laughing spree too."

"Shit. You're the one from Sunnydale."

"Yes I am. The taunter of Angel, and Angelus. The backup for the slayers. And my twin was the Unseen Seer according to the First Evil from what he said."

"Shit," another one muttered. They shared a look then looked at him. "We could use that to take him out."

Alex grinned. "Doing that means I go to avenge him. Do we want to know what I've learned from my dates? Unlike his, who're pretty often involved in weapons....." He shrugged but smiled.

"Shit," they all muttered. They went over that paperwork again. It was clean, ethically sound, and legally allowable. They'd hate it but oh well. They took it back to the rest of the senior board, who sneered but said they could rebuild better without the bad reputation the invasion gave them.

So they signed it, not having read it well enough to read the clause that gave all their demonic status to Alex and his twin, or to Connor and Gunn. Alex sent all that at Connor and Gunn so they had some status to back them up for the next apocalypse battle in LA, which was in about three weeks. And started by this same law firm.

Those same minions thought they'd get a golden parachute payment for the law firm's demise, it was in their original contract. But with a new owner comes new contracts, which they did not sign. Alex had added in a clause saying they could get back what they paid into the firm to get their positions. Which in most cases wasn't monetary, it was blood and souls. It meant Gunn lost one of his status markers, but he'd still have enough for the upcoming apocalypse. The lower minions and lawyers just got to run free.

Alex sat back and giggled while hearing Connor and Gunn wondering how they had suddenly got status enough to stop the upcoming apocalypse cold by pulling rank. If not, Xander certainly did now and he'd be there for it.

***

Alex looked at the senior partners of his own law firm. "I've cleared up where I had an accidental lawyer acquisition going on." He handed over that paperwork. "I've broken the one soul capturing device they had. I've had the six altars broken by alerting the slayers there, and one's still going to find it next week, she's got finals.

"I've released all the soul clauses they had hold of by that contract and taking their status. There's a lot of people who didn't know they were under one who're now safe." He smiled at their shocked looks. "They came after me. One tried to shoot my dogs. Pity. But I did release all that lovely problem bearing guild back into the world."

They read it over and one laughed at that clause. "That's evil, Harris."

Alex smiled at him. "Thank you! Sometimes my twin calls me the Evil Empress of the Universe."

Another one nodded, still snickering. "I can see why, Harris." He went over the details of the shut down and how it was going. "They were fined by the government."

"Which got paid. As I clearly stated, as of taking it over, the old contracts for any position were void and you were entitled to what you paid in to get that position. Only one had to get paid and they paid that out of office petty cash I'm told. I've ordered the doors shut and locked, gave them until last night to clean out desks, alerted the local police in those areas to check for victims, and got many of them raided to make sure they didn't sacrifice any victims on the way out.

"There's about thirty lawyers out of all of them that aren't in jail for that as the police raids found the evidence and logs on their sacrifices for power. They brilliantly called the Council and got one of the old liners in the library portion that told them what they were for and how they were done. Without knowing anything about the law firm. Giles called me this morning to thank me for getting rid of that great evil and letting the old liner complain and help actually fight evil this time." He shifted his weight but grinned.

"You certainly caused some chaotic hell," one of them said with a smile for him.

"Well, Janus did like us one year. Giles told me that we're like a kid between him and Ethan Rayne." They all smiled at that. "Xander saves the world one way and I do it in smaller, more slightly evil manners." He shrugged but smiled. "But I wanted to tell on myself before gossip got started and I got into trouble." He handed over a file. "On all their lawyers. So you can tell others if they apply for new careers."

One of them looked it over, nodding a bit. "We almost hired one of them years ago." He looked the kid over. "I've heard an agent got mad that you were wearing fancy clothes to bring down evil and silk boxers to make yourself happier while you did it."

Alex grinned. "Buffy said you have to have the perfect outfit to stop an apocalypse."

"Point."

"And this does mean Connor and Gunn can stop the one in a few weeks without much of a fight, or Xander can if they can't. Together they have enough status to cancel the Council of Nine."

"Shit," one said in awe. Alex winked and left them to talk. They shared a look. "It's good he's getting happy, ethical evil this week."

"It is," they agreed, going over those files in case one did apply to them or other firms they knew were ethical. They'd pass this around so Harris was warned about. Only a Harris could use chaotic intent and the law to bring down a great evil.

***

Alex looked at his vet. "I have no idea what's wrong but Duke's been crazy worried recently. Like the level of neurotic. So I'm guessing Devil's sick somehow and they're worried he's going to pass; that Duke's going to be without him since Duke's pretty clingy to him."

The vet looked that one over, then petted the other dog. "He's just old, Duke. So are you." He checked him over and looked at Alex. "How did you get them? Do you know their past owners?"

"The person who used to own my house got a divorce, left the area after selling the house, and didn't leave a forwarding address. Her ex-husband broke into the house and brought his dogs. He kept telling the officers they were getting back together, he had seen how bad he was." The vet winced.

"When he got arrested, the officer didn't want to bring the dogs to the pound, which I fully understand, I hate the pound, and the guy was shouting I was evil to send his poor, lonely dogs to the pound. They'd die without him," he said dryly. "So I adopted. I gave him three days to pick them up and he didn't even try so they're mine."

"That's certainly humane but a bit odd of you."

Alex shrugged. "They're my first pets. The house would be bigger and lonelier without them."

"Many people have dogs for that reason. Did we check for a chip?"

"I have no clue what you're talking about. I saw your partner when I got them. That first day to make sure they were healthy since they seemed depressed."

"Okay, let's do that." He went to make sure there wasn't one. One did but it was from a pound in Omaha. He wrote them an email about that but the adopter hadn't filed the paperwork for the dog. He came back. "The microchip is to help find their owners if they get lost."

"Oh!" He nodded. "Okay. Should I do that?"

"One has one and you can file that they're now your dogs. Most vets and pounds do recommend them so we can find you if they get loose."

"Is it painful?"

"No more so than any other shot. I can do the other one and give you the information to file." Alex nodded with a smile. He got the things to do that. "Okay." He handed over the brochure. "This is for them. Amend the files later." Alex nodded at that. "Second, the one dog isn't sick, but he is apparently in his senior years."

"Your partner said they'd have about two more years at this point."

"Probably about a year-and-a-half. This slowing down is normal. Like a human, they get exhausted easier. They'll eat less." He looked at the pair then at the owner. "Speaking of, they're getting a bit chubby. Not fat yet, and it's not a problem yet, but they are gaining a good bit of weight."

"The guy last year said they were a bit skinny. I feed what the back of the bag of dog food says to."

"I'm pretty sure, like most dog owners, you've got a bag of treats somewhere nearby." Alex pulled them out of his bag to show him. "Those are good, and they have dental benefits too. Nice choice, but they probably only need one a day." He handed them back. "You can give them a piece of crunchy dry food for that and it'd be a few less calories."

"My coworker said I'd probably spoil them for however long they had left and she was probably right, I agreed I probably would." He put the dog treats back, making the dogs whine. "When we get home," he said patiently. The vet laughed at that. "It helps when we're driving and stuck in traffic too." He looked at them then at him. "I'm worried if one's sick, the other's going to follow them very fast because they don't like being separated."

"That's happened sometimes but you could get them a young one soon to give them a puppy to bond to and help them go on. Like a widow with a child."

"Does that work? And does it have to be a puppy? I suck at training. They were already housetrained. Thankfully."

"You can get a young one that's not that young from any rescue or pound. Because county and city pounds have to take in any animal that comes so they often have to put some down but rescues get to pick and choose which ones they want to take in."

"So I can get one that's got a few more years and they'll bond, and it'll hold whichever one here when the first one goes? Then when the second goes, I'll get another dog for them to bond to?"

"Basically that's how many do it. Do you own your own home?"

"I do. I'm not sure if I could handle a third dog though." He looked down. "How would I even do that?"

"They might react poorly if you bring them with you to pick one out but if you talk to the pound they can probably help match personalities and activity levels."

"That could be good. They're office couch hounds." He looked down then at him. "Is there a good one?"

"Talk to Maribel," he said, handing over a copied address. "She's good at finding the right homes for adoptions." Alex smiled and nodded, tucking that into his bag. "For right now, encourage them to walk, to play some if you can. You can't force it but you can encourage them. They probably can't manage a full few miles but they can do a block or so at the moment." That got a nod. "I think you have at least a year." Duke barked and nudged Devil's head with his nose. "Hmm."

"Yeah, I've seen a few of those." He put Devil on the table. Duke huffed and moved closer, sniffing up at him.

The doctor looked him over. "Oh, he's got a slight fever. And he's probably feeling miserable. Table food?"

"Meat only. No sauce, I lick it off if there's sauce. Though they did break into the Thai food the other night and belched all night after puking up my leftovers I was planning for breakfast. Someone can open the fridge," he said with a point at Duke.

"Many dogs have done that." He checked him over again. "He's got a bit of what looks like mild pancreatitis. Which is like an upset stomach but worse and has some pain. We can give him a shot to help with that and you can get him to eat some pepto to ease the stomach ache."

"How? I can't even drink that stuff."

"Sometimes you've got to squirt it in their mouth. Like with a syringe that doesn't have a needle on it." He did that for him to show him. "Give it again in the morning." Alex nodded, taking those. "You're not doing bad for your first dogs. They're good, healthy, happy looking hounds, Mr. Harris."

"They're expensive too." He looked down. "Does that dog insurance cover appointments?"

"Some do." He smiled. "Overall, it works out to about the same."

"That makes sense. Thank you." He shook his hand and took the dogs to pay the fees and take them home. Devil puked up the pepto but Duke didn't seem too worried about that. Alex hated to clean that out of his car but maybe he'd let a detailer do it for him in the morning. That was kinda gross.

***

Xander finally got into his email, finding one from his twin. One that had pictures by the size. He opened it, pouting at the news. He liked the dogs. He had really liked to nap with the dogs. They were great dogs, like his stepdogs. He was still pouting when Stephen limped in. "The thing out there bite you again?"

"The goat got my thigh," he complained, sitting down. "Why are you pouting? One of the girls sick or pregnant?"

"The dogs are getting old. The vet suggested he get a third dog for them to bond to because he was worried one would pass and the other would follow out of grief." He let him see the picture. "Apparently my twin is running a senior home for dogs. The newest one is seven, expected to live to about fifteen, and the dogs are very confused about that lap dog. But it'll sit in his lap while he pets the other two so they're fond of it at least."

"What is it? Beyond fluffy?"

"It's a Keeshond. He said it's a smaller herding or hunting dog so it gets along well with the two mixed hounds. And they enjoy watching Prince...well, there's a few choices he's fighting over naming him." Stephen snorted at that. "The shelter named him Prince...so Alex is going to add on a real name. He's trying to decide between Caspian, Humperdink, and Valiant."

Stephen shook his head with a sigh. "Only your twin or some girl." Xander grinned at that. "He shouldn't go with Humperdink. Almost no one will get that joke."

"Plenty of people know the Princess Bride."

"Uh-huh." Stephen stared at him. "How do you know about that movie?"

"Willow's mother really liked it. Said it gave a good moral lesson about grandfathers being good to help with sick grandkids. Then she usually told Willow she wasn't allowed to have kids."

"Ah." He nodded, getting up to go beat that goat for getting him again.

"Leave the goat alone. It thinks you're fun. Goats butt heads to play, Stephen."

"Fine." He waved a hand. "Why would he go with Caspian?"

"He thinks the actor's hot."

"Oh." He nodded. "I have no idea about that. I read the book." He went out to find that goat to take out for later food.

Xander went to save his gifted goat from his boyfriend, kissing him until he was in a better mood. He'd answer his twin later.

***

Alex looked at his coworkers the next morning. "I need naming help."

"Why?" Alexsis asked patiently.

"The dogs are getting old and the vet told me to get them a slightly younger buddy so they had someone new to cling to." He grinned and showed a picture. "The shelter named him Prince so is he going to be a Prince Valiant, a Prince Caspian, or a Prince Humperdink?"

Patricia looked at him oddly, blinking a few times. "How many dogs are you going to have, Alex?"

"Just these three. He said I've got maybe a year-and-a-half with Duke and Devil. If Devil goes, Duke's going to follow him if he's left alone."

"So getting a new friend will expand his friends and help him hold steady if something happens," Alexsis said, nodding. "I can agree with it. What is Prince? Beyond fluffy?"

"A Keeshond." He grinned. "They're friendly, cuddly, and need a lot of brushing. Margaret at the shelter said at least twice a week. But he's nicely a lap pet and he'll sit there and let me pet the other two as long as he's on my lap."

The ladies nodded at that. "Caspian," Alexsis said. "He's the adventurer and stronger than Valiant. Humperdink was evil, Alex."

"The little guy got up onto a counter somehow and carried the dog treat bag over to hand it to Duke so they could all share it."

"Okay, so your fluffy friend is a bit naughty," she said with a smile. "Caspian."

"Okay. I was leaning that way, the actor's hot."

"Did you see the new thing he was in?" she asked.

"New thing?"

"Go look it up," Patricia said, patting him on the arm. "My husband likes it." Alex beamed, hugged them both, and bounced back to his office. The two ladies shared a look and went to gossip with their friends about the new dog and why so no one complained at Alex when they inevitably came in with the other two.

The dogs did doggy daycare most days but about once a week they came to the office to keep people calm and happier. Alexsis had started to bring her dog in on days he didn't so her poor Boris could be petted by their stressed out intern Martin. And a few other lawyers who needed some stress petting and cuddling time. Boris had helped a few through divorces.

***

Xander read the updated email from his twin, grinning at the new pictures of the little pack of dogs, and the fact that there was a show he'd like if he could watch it. "That's cool. And Caspian's cute. He probably does tricks." He shook his head, smiling at the guys standing in the doorway. "My twin got a third dog because his are getting old and worried about being alone." He put his phone down after hitting the button to record things. "So what do we want today?"

They lunged at him and he pulled a machete to beat them all. He got injured, a lot, but only one of them survived it. That one ran away but the slayer he was working with got him with her crossbow. "Shit," he muttered with a sigh, sitting up holding his side. He turned off the recording, but forgot to delete it as he got up to go check on his trainee. She was huffy until she saw him then she screamed for her mother and came to do what she could to baby him.

The mini's mother was not happy but at least he had survived.

The ones who did it, wouldn't. Stephen found the phone and the 'save file' message still showing. He watched it then went to handle whatever problem that was. Xander needed to be more delicate right now. Then he got to complain at Willow for stealing Xander to get him help. Not to an ER but she wanted to nag him about needing help sometimes. Not about the injuries, but about being a man training young girls.

Alex got him that night and got into a fight that sent Willow running for Buffy and Giles, who told her off for kidnaping Xander from Africa. She sent him back from the ER, without warning. Alex went back home, he had to work the next day. Willow could be huffy, pouty, and cry a lot thanks to being spanked by Giles.

Stephen caught Xander when he fell from midair, helping him stand. "Let's get you to an ER. I see the bracelet?"

"Alex got me there. She kidnaped me before they could do more than scowl."

"We have a doctor nearby," Stephen said patiently, walking him that way. "Can I go smite the witch?"

Xander looked at him. "Alex tried but she ran for her life. Giles and Buffy both yelled at her."

"That's sweet of them to finally do that." He shook his head with a grimace, walking Xander to the doctor's office. He was going to get that witch. He really was. Maybe she'd sacrifice herself to help humanity before he got there though.

***

Alex got referred to a nice company that did speciality leather working for Tony's graduation present. It'd take a few months so he'd start early. He smiled as he was let into the shop. "Hi, I'm Alex Harris. I have an appointment."

"Yes, sir. What sort of bag were you needing?"

"It's a graduation present for a friend that's finishing his law degree this year." He put down pictures of Tony. "He's a former federal agent and officer. Now he's L4 and nearly done in about seven more months." He grinned. "I was hoping for something...practical yet helpful. I got your name from Staven McHenry."

"I remember his bag. We can do a great present like that. What type were you thinking?"

Alex pulled out his phone to show him a picture. "This is the Cambridge Satchel Co. 15-Inch Batchel. I think it's practical, roomy, fashionable, which Tony is all of those and a movie guy, and a former NCIS agent who had to do undercover work now and then in his career.

"Now he's going criminal law." He let him have the phone to look at the pictures. It was a dual carrying style messenger bag/briefcase hybrid with a front pouch and two straps holding the top flap down. It had a messenger strap and carry handle both.

"That's not that hard. We have something like that." He handed the phone back, getting his book of styles out. "We have one that's very like that. What sort of practical necessities do you think he'll need?"

"A hidden panel maybe? Maybe a weapons storage bottom opening? If possible? Because bad guys like Tony, usually ones that like to date me." He grimaced but let it clear up. "Tony's boss made sure he always carried at least a knife and he's used to having his sidearm too."

"We can easily do those. A slide compartment on the bottom, with a fingerprint lock?"

Alex beamed. "You can?"

"Yes, that's not that hard. How many users will he need to input?"

"Maybe three at the most. Not sure and if I ask him it'd spoil the surprise."

"Good point." He looked him over. "It won't be cheap." Alex put money on the counter, making the older man nod and smile. "I didn't think you were that sort."

"I slightly am. And a lawyer myself. I deal in contract law."

He looked at him. "You're one of those Harris."

"I am." He nodded with a grin. "My twin's still serving in Africa, though he's on a plane today to go handle the upcoming problem in LA in a few days."

The old man nodded. "That's handy." He made out the slip for the case. "Black, brown?"

"What's more fashionable? Tony's not afraid of most darker colors. Though I've never seen him wear a pastel in more than a shirt. He was a Fed though so...I guess dress code."

"Black's useful and good for everything," the old man decided, getting a nod for that. He let Alex see it to nod and sign off then pay him. Even though there was a slight upcharge of ten percent. Alex didn't mention that at all. "It'll take me about four months."

"He's got seven before he graduates so that's fine." He smiled. "Thank you." He shook his hand and handed over his business card. "Let me know and I'll pop up here to New York to pick it up." He beamed. "I thought about getting him a suit but I ran into the suit maker of an agency and I didn't think Tony would want to be reminded of his past job. Have a great day." He bounced out, happy with his present giving skills.

The old man nodded. "I'm sure they would've enjoyed that agent." He went to tell his people about the order. Their bags were handmade and all custom work. The modifications the boy wanted were easily incorporated.

***

Xander hopped up to where the newest apocalypse was going to happen in LA, shaking his head at the worried looks. "Idiot men who hated that women were protecting them," he said dryly. "Then Willow pulled me from where I was trying to get up to go get treatment and kept me hostage for a few hours to yell that I was a guy training young women so therefore I had to ask *her* to help me do what I've been doing for so many years.

"Apparently the theory that girls in Africa are still young women, civilization is over there too, and a lot of those news stories are propaganda missed her highness' asshole brain." He looked at the demon who appeared. "Is that it? Dude, I beat your sister last week!" he shouted. "Go the fuck home! Tell your mom it was me so she can huff some more and more people send me flowers for doing it!" He waved.

The demon stared then started to cry. "Why do you have status?"

"Because my twin got a bit evil and claimed it for both of us." He grinned and waved at the new one showing up. "Coming to try again?" he asked her. She saw him and whined. "Go. The fuck. Home!" he said with a point. "Now please! We don't need your shit on top of the one that's coming later!"

"Our father said to come watch him conquer to learn how it's done," the son complained.

Xander stared at him. "How it's done is me having weapons and blowing the fuck out of him. I've proven I'm good at it, haven't I?"

They whined and went to tell Daddy that the mean human was there to stop him too. He showed up to stop that and Xander blew him up before the kids could get there. That solved the pre-apocalypse battle. They could wait on the other one. They tried to deny the order so a local demon came to tell them about the status.

They couldn't win the battle but they could lose their whole realm and everything on it. They put up a small fight until Xander got more weapons. The new idiots realized what those shiny things were because one of them had seen it before and let out a scream that echoed around the area. It was bad enough that it scared a few stray animals hiding from them.

They decided they didn't really want these people or this plane anyway. So much stress in their lives. Too much work. Oh well! They'd try when humanity was falling. They fled for their lives and Xander still shot one to make him die.

Gunn looked at him. "He bothering your trainees?"

"He bothered me and my twin. His mother keeps trying to have her older son capture my twin to be his queen so she can retire. Alex is not a happy Harris about that. Three times in a month," he sighed, looking at them. They both snickered. "Yeah but...." He shrugged, leaning on the weapons tube. "But hey, we're done early!" He grinned at the girls showing up. "Unless another one shows up, we're done, ladies."

"But you're men," Willow said.

"Well, duh! Yeah, we are! And we handled it!" He glared at her, making her back away slowly. He looked at the new demon who appeared. "Yes?"

"Great One Knight, may we speak? Your twin is disturbing."

"Is he laughing so hard everyone's creeped out again?" he asked dryly.

"He has been helping those who get arrested for weird things and the community was not aware of that."

"If they called on him for help, of course he did. He's a lawyer, they do that."

"The community in DC has a legal team."

"Who are very overworked from what I've heard from my twin. The law firm he works in has done a lot of good work with the community."

"Point. But that is a different form of law."

"Yeah it was his minor."

"Oh." He nodded. "I understand. He won't do full criminal things?"

"No. His law firm has some people who handle just that."

"That's good. What of the law firm he destroyed?"

"He disbanded it. He freed all the soul debts too. He thinks there might be one last soul capturing device but he'll handle that when he can."

That got a nod from the demon. "That's pleasant of him. Thank him for us?"

"Of course. We've all hated Wolfram and Hart since the first thing we heard about them from Cordelia."

"The Messenger?"

"Yeah. We knew her in high school." He grinned. The demon slumped, shaking his head. "We heard a lot about how bad the law firm for hell was. Then he ran into them trying to force him to quit helping people and quit doing his job. They actually went after Alex, so he had some fun." He smirked. "I'm proud he managed it. Including the mess he made of those three top demons of the firm."

The demon sighed, looking at him. "He defeated them?"

"He made a huge mess by defeating them," Faith said, coming over. "I got there after that, and it was a mess that made me gag. A lot. I couldn't even tell how many there were." The demon shuddered. "Like any Harris, you step into their face and they'll react."

"He reacted against them."

Xander shook his head with a hand wave added. "They tried him first. They actually threatened to sue him to make him quit doing his job helping community owned businesses." That demon winced. "He didn't do more than turn in that they were also demonically owned, and the bad things they had done, until they tried to shoot at his dog."

The demon whined and shuddered, shrinking in on himself. "They did it to themselves. Thankfully Alex is a nice guy who has ethics so he released all their soul debts and let them free to prove what sort of ethics they have. If someone higher up has a problem with that, sorry but yay. My twin's proven he's got ethics and the same sort of stubborn I have."

"Point." He looked at the slayers then at Xander. "Will there be a battle today?"

"I think we solved it," Gunn told him. "If not, we'll solve it when it happens."

The demon nodded. "Thank you all." He disappeared to tell the others waiting what had been said.

Xander looked at Gunn and shrugged. "Breakfast ice cream sundaes?"

"You're too old for ice cream for breakfast. Have it as a post breakfast snack," Gunn said.

"Point. I have been craving it." They walked off together, letting the girls figure things out.

"That's not good for you," Buffy called after him. Xander flipped her off without turning around or looking at her. She huffed. "Men!"

Faith looked at her. "That sounds like a great breakfast for me too. It wouldn't be the first time." She jogged to catch up. "Are we going for waffles first, boys?"

They grinned at her and agreed, letting her get her own food.

Buffy and the others went to have muffins and girl food instead just in case there was another battle attempt. None of them understood the guys.

***

Alex had gotten to pick up the present and was waiting on Tony to come out of his testing. He came out and moaned, stretching up. Alex whistled, bringing him over. "Did you drive? I know you were tired last night."

"I did. I had to, my wallet was missing under the couch somehow. Caspian apparently thought it was a toy again." He leaned on the car. Alex opened the door and pointed at the back seat. Tony frowned. "What's that?"

"A graduation present, Tony." He smirked. "You made it. Now all you have is the bar. Speaking of, when is grad?"

"Two weeks." He handed him an invitation from his backpack. "I was going to drop that off tomorrow." He picked up the present, getting in to open it in the car. He moaned, touching the fine grained black leather that looked like it was slightly textured. "This is sweet, Alex." He gave him a hug. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome! You need a great briefcase." He smiled. "And it's got a surprise I'll let you figure out later." He winked. Tony laughed, giving him a hug before getting out and heading for his own car with the new briefcase and the box. Alex drove off, making Tony grin. He got into his own car to look it over.

Inside the front flap was the maker's brochure. That made Tony moan, these were *special* briefcases. He found the instructions for the hidden panel and figured it out. Inside there was the instructions to input the fingerprint for the reader on the false bottom panel. He flipped it over to look at that, inputting himself.

It slid for him and he moaned. Two new sharp knives suitable for fighting, one for throwing, and a holster for a handgun with slots for extra clips. "Oh, this is *sweet*, Alex!" he cooed. He looked it over for other surprises. The handle hid a slim, nail file sized, knife. And a pointy metal file to pick locks with.

He had a little magnet on the inside of the top flap to hold it shut that could be taken off. It was big enough to hold his laptop, his files, and if he had to a spare shirt. This was the nicest present he'd ever gotten. He went home to pet his new leather friend. This was almost as great as a dog.

***

Tony was out to go to a study group of his fellow students for the bar. They were going to be at a nice bar to drink and eat while studying and quizzing each other. Of course, that was not what was happening tonight. He had been run into a parked car by another two cars trying to shoot at him. He was in an alley, huffing as he was being shot at.

Thankfully he had decided to grab his new briefcase. The sliding panel was a bit tough to get open when you were hurrying but he managed it and fired back at two of them. They ran off at the sound of sirens so he put the gun back and quickly changed his shirt before going back to his car. The dirty shirt got thrown out as he walked past the dumpster he had been hiding behind.

He met the local officers, shrugging. "Federal plates, really idiotic FBI agents," he reported to one he knew. "Silnay was one of them." That one winced. "Forced me off the road while shooting at me." He leaned against his car and pointed at a hole. "You'll want the forensics team. Six agents, five guns shooting at me. Really dumbass agents I'm going to turn in shortly. I need to grab my phone."

He pointed. The officer got it for him and handed it over. "Thanks. Gibbs, me. Silnay and five other feebs shot at me to get me off the road and then tried to chase me into an alley." He listened to the swearing. "Exactly. Have fun and I'll tell Fornell's voicemail myself." He hung up and called him. "I just saw some of yours," he told the voicemail.

"Silnay and five others were shooting at me to get me off the road and into an alley but I handled them and they ran from LEO. Have fun with them, Fornell." He hung up and put the phone into his briefcase. "I'm supposed to be studying with a group of students for the bar, guys. Can I head there? It's about six blocks at that sports bar."

"Let us take some info, DiNozzo."

"Sure." He nodded at the forensics people. "Feebs shot at me to drive me off the road." They groaned but came over to grab the bullets. The agents had pulled a few but missed sixteen bullets. "It's going to my garage," he said, pulling his card out of his wallet. "This is my car guy." They took note of that and had the car towed for examination. "Have a better night, guys." He looked at the officers handling the scene.

"DiNozzo, did you shoot back?"

"Yeah. I'm still licensed to carry concealed."

"We may need the gun for ballistics."

"That assumes their bosses let them go to jail," Tony said dryly. "Theyr'e fairly failing at everything." His phone rang so he pulled it out. "DiNozzo. I'm on my way, just had a slight accident so I'm about six blocks away, Sarah. Let me finish with the accident report." He grinned. "Sure, about a half-hour. Order a beer for me please, something foreign and dark tonight? Thanks." He hung up and looked at the officer again. "The bar exam is going to drive me nuts."

"You're a lawyer now?" the officer asked, looking confused.

"I figured I've seen the law from that side, now I'll see it from the other side. I'm going to become my very own version of Law and Order," he quipped with a grin. A car pulled up beside them and he moved the officer when a gun came out. "Idiot, Silnay?"

"I'm an agent."

"You're a disgrace and I've already told others." He smirked and waved. "The officers won't help you."

"We can find a cause to arrest you, DiNozzo."

"Be aware that I'm wearing a body camera," he quipped. The car sped off. Tony looked at the officer, who moaned. He let him have the chip to copy with the forensics people. He put it back into the camera. "Need me for more, guys?"

"You moved yet?" the officer who knew him asked.

"Not yet. Law school rotted my brains and I'm rent controlled." He grinned slightly. "And they accept my friend's dogs showing up to calm me down after tests."

The officers nodded at that factoid. "Go ahead, DiNozzo. We'll come find you if we need more." Tony nodded, strolling off with his briefcase and the jacket he had grabbed from the backseat. The officer looked at the others. "He was on Gibbs' team at NCIS. Senior agent for seven years above McGee."

"That man has balls then," another said. "Trapped between McGee and Gibbs? A rough textured rock and a wall of geek."

The others smiled at that description. It was pretty accurate and the new guy on the team was crap to work with. Tony breezed in, went to wash his hands, and showed up at the table to sip his beer with a head shake. The other students smiled and shifted to make room for him.

***

Tony was out to destress from opening his exam results, happy with his life at the moment. Of course, that's when he ran into Alex, and they both ran into the people who wanted to get them together to discredit Alex. Someone tried to release a gas into the club. Tony smelled it and looked around, stopping his dancing. The girl he was dancing with huffed.

"No, someone's released something. Go. Outside, now, tell a bouncer." She shuddered but did that. He went to tell the bartender to shut things down, but he was passed out. So Tony pulled the fire alarm. That worked. There wasn't a huge crowd tonight so they ran. Alex showed up next to him, staring at him. "Gas."

Alex sniffed then checked the bartender, hefting him up. "Let's go. Lock the register." Tony did that and they carried the bartender between them. A bouncer came over. "We locked the register. He was unconscious."

"I smelled gas. It smells bitter."

"We smelled that. You're an officer?"

"Was an agent. Now I'm a lawyer." Alex punched him on the arm with a grin. "Thanks, Alex."

"Good job! You probably did better than I did."

"I got ninetieth percentile." Alex grinned at him before hitting him on the arm again. "I was celebrating," Tony told the bouncer.

"I can see why. I know that's hard." He jogged over to tell the others and the fire engine that was showing up. "We had some sort of gas release."

"Like natural?" The fire chief asked as he got out.

"Smells bitter, not natural gas egg stink."

"Okay. Guys, put on a breather," he ordered. "We have a chemical release we think. Good thinking to clear the club by pulling the alarm."

"The guy was an agent. He just passed his bar."

"Good job for him then," the driver said as he walked around the front. They went inside to look, finding the canisters easily enough. One went to check the bartender when someone pointed out he was unconscious. That let them find another canister under the bar. They called in officers and agents. The driver came out to talk to a few people. "Anyone have any funny symptoms?" he called. "Headache, sweating unexpectedly, itchy, hallucinations?"

"Itching," Alex offered. "I've been scratching the spot where the bartender's arm was sitting." He let the paramedic take a swab. "But I'm pretty immune to most poisons and things."

Tony checked himself and nodded. "I've got welts where he was resting on me too." The paramedic looked and nodded, taking another swab. "So was he the guy who released it?"

"Not sure yet," the fireman said. He looked at the others being kept there, going to check a few who looked spacey. They got to go to the ER. So did Tony and Alex.

Tony looked at the paramedic. "I have specific medical orders," he said quietly. "Because I've had the plague."

The paramedic blinked a few times. "You have?"

"It got sent to the office when I was an agent." He shrugged. "If they need it, Bethesda treated me. Dr. Pitt is my doc."

"All right, I can note that if it's important." He looked at the others. "Do any of you have chronic medical conditions?"

"Yeah, you cannot hook me to any sort of machine. I carry some radiation that'll mess them up permanently. I was in St. Andrew's, that private hospital, a few years back after some torture."

"Cancer?" the paramedic guessed.

Alex grinned and shook his head. "Spatial. It's from where I grew up. Full of radiation." That got a nod. "I know I screwed up two blood pressure and one heart monitor and the nurses said they could not be repaired."

Tony nodded. "He does. The nurses were not amused by that."

"Are you two together?" the paramedic asked.

"He's my power of attorney if no one can find my twin in Africa," Alex said. Then he shrugged a bit. "He's my buddy, not my boyfriend."

"Okay," he said, making note of that. "Mr. DiNozzo?"

"It had been Jethro Gibbs at NCIS but I haven't reset it since I left them."

"They're out of town right now anyway," Alex told him. "Someone was tracking McGee and complained they were in Niagra Falls about a case that led back there."

Tony nodded. "We used to hate those cases."

"Are you still an agent?" the paramedic asked.

Tony shook his head. "I got fired for refusing to break ethical conduct rules. Then I fought back." He smirked a bit. "Now I'm a new lawyer."

"Great." He nodded. "Makes good career sense." They pulled into the ER and he got out. "We had a chemical release in a club. These ones showed symptoms. I've got three of them staring off into space, two with itchy, hive type things, and one that's coming in another ambulance that's unconscious but we're not sure if we was one releasing it or not since it was found right underneath his station."

The nurse nodded. "Let's get the space cases into one area, the other two in another." They did that and she stared at Alex. "Oh, it's you."

Alex grinned at her and gave her a hug. "I promise, I'm just itchy in one spot that the bartender's bare skin was touching."

"Good." She let them have a room together and went to check on the other three. They were probably needing more care. Officers showed up with a repot from their lab about the canisters, which was very helpful. The three spaced out ones got admitted for the night. The other two got something to help with the itching and something to treat them in case they did start to feel more exposed later on.

Tony grinned at Alex. "Let's go play with your dogs."

"Okay," Alex agreed with a nod. "Caspian's going to beg you to pet."

"Of course, he loves my petting. That's why he's so fluffy." They left together to make sure neither one would need to come back later. They both felt a bit horny but they could ignore it while playing with the dogs.

***

Tony looked at the man who had invited him to the park, staring at him over the top of his sunglasses. "What's up, Fornell? Why were they shooting at me this time?"

"They wanted you out of the way to stop you from testifying against the ones that you found were terrorists." He sat beside him on the bench. "That gas release was a whole other plot."

"Great. Which one?"

"To discredit your buddy by making him be gay."

"Alex is pretty bi and it's well known," Tony said dryly.

"I've heard. They're just as dumb as the other plot." He shifted to look at him better. "There's a push to make you run for something."

Tony nodded. "I've heard. I'm not totally against that but I just passed the bar last week. I've got interviews right now. I have one this afternoon."

"Good luck." He looked around then at him again. "They're going to be weird about things with him."

"Alex is a nice guy until you fuck with him." He smirked a bit. "He's proven that a few times."

"They're mad at him for his former job."

"I know. I've heard that a few times. He'd just shrug and date his next bad girl. I'm surprised you're not still tracking who he dates."

"We gave up when our brains warped at the assassin twins."

"The girls, the two sets of guys, or the mixed twins?"

"Mixed," he growled. "He's dated three other sets of assassins?"

"Yeah. That I know of. Could've been more."

"How does he find them?"

"He doesn't. He lets them find him. He likes to be hunted instead of flirting. He doesn't flirt all that well and said it makes him feel like he's offering himself for sale."

"I've seen that happen in others." He grimaced. "Why does he have three dogs?"

"The first two were abandoned with him so he adopted. They're really close and a bit neurotic if they're not together but they're getting older. The vet suggested it so whichever of the pair that survives isn't alone."

"That's reasonable I suppose." He stood up. "Gibbs is still your medical power of attorney."

"Not true, I changed it this morning with a letter to Gibbs to find out who killed me," he said dryly with a grin.

"Have you talked to anyone over there recently?"

"Nope. Outside the one warning about Sheppard, haven't heard a thing since the day I got driven off." He stood up too, staring at him. "You can tell them I'm happy if they ask. I'm doing good. Got a good, high rating on the bar." He walked off. "Thanks for letting me know. Tell me if you hear they're going to try again."

"I can do that." He went back to his car to go back to NCIS. He looked at Gibbs. "They shot at him to get him away from testifying about the terrorists he found over there."

Gibbs sighed. "Really?"

"Ran him off a city street while shooting at him. He had to handle it before LEO got there." He grinned. "He said you're not his sole power of attorney now but there's a letter allowing you to find out who killed him."

"I'd probably be able to."

"You'll probably need to. DiNozzo's in the way of the ones against Alex Harris too. They tried to drug the club they were in celebrating DiNozzo getting a ninety-second percentile on the bar exam."

"That's fantastic. I hope he can find a job in a normal law firm."

"Not sure yet. He's still interviewing." He stared at him. "You may still have some authority, he didn't say."

"Fine." He picked up a pen to go back to his correcting reports. "Any other fun news?"

"They tried to drug them to discredit Harris by him being gay with DiNozzo. Even though everyone knows he's dated multiple sets of assassins and single ones too."

"He's dated what?" Gibbs demanded.

"Yup." Fornell looked smug. "DiNozzo identified at least four sets of twin assassins. Plus the single ones. That's one reason we used to watch him." They shared a look. "Plenty of non-evil ones who think DiNozzo should go political think Harris would make a great spouse for him. They'd like to enforce it somehow if he's ever elected." He walked off. "Have fun with all that. The terrorist groups' trials is next week."

"I'll keep an ear out for them to try more stupid things," Gibbs complained.

"Have fun. I've got to work on the escort detail." He went back to his office to handle that detail.

Gibbs shook his head. "Only DiNozzo," he muttered.

McGee looked over. "They tried him to make him handle it. Seems they were wrong to do that."

Gibbs nodded. "Probably. Though it's good Sheppard didn't ruin him."

"That's a really good exam score. He shouldn't have much problem getting a job. Or a seat in Congress." He went back to his current report, sending it over. He hated being the senior agent some days. Though it was way too quiet on the floor today.

***

Alex rushed to the vet's office, after shouting that at his boss, getting there in time to pet his two dogs. Duke was in real trouble and Devil was howling in misery with Caspian. "Hey," he said, kneeling to pet them. "I'm right here, guys. I'm here. Daddy's here." He petted them to calm them down. Someone came over. "Is Duke okay?"

"He had a seizure but we got it stopped," the vet tech said calmly. "They're very bonded."

"Devil and Duke were abandoned with me so I adopted." He looked up at her. "Was it exposure to something at doggy daycare?"

"No. We don't think so since he had an empty stomach."

"No, he ate breakfast. They got wet food this morning. They inhaled it like the snack hoovers they are." He got up, picking up both dogs. Caspian climbed up on top of his shoulder and resting on Devil's hind end. "Can we see him?"

"Of course. This way, Mr. Harris." She led them to the room where Devil was resting. "We've sedated him to stop the seizure. He's napping comfortably."

"Is this going to be something to medicate for the rest of his life?"

"Not sure yet. The vet can answer that tomorrow." He nodded, letting the dogs sniff Duke, letting Devil nudge him. "He's just napping, sweetie," she said, petting Devil's ear. "It's okay. He's just fine. He's just napping." Devil woofed, looking at his human, who cuddled him. "He should be fine. I'll get the vet in here." She went to do that. "The dogs are still very worried about their littermate."

He nodded. "That's something he was worried about. That's why they got the smaller dog." He went in there with the test results. "Devil's seizure looks to be related to his empty stomach."

"No, the dogs inhaled their wet breakfast this morning. I was sipping coffee to make sure they ate their own. Now and then Prince Caspian will bogart everyone's if I don't watch him."

"Okay. He was fully empty. Did he perhaps have the runs or anything?"

"No." He shook his head. "If he had I couldn't have sent him to doggy daycare. They don't allow sick dogs."

"Interesting. His body read that it was fully empty." He let him see the results. "This is low, that's his electrolytes."

"So gatorade? Can he drink that like normal?" Alex's nose scrunched up. "Or is powerade better?"

"We can rehydrate him here. We'll do some fluid under the skin, we've already started that. We've got him on an IV to give him fluids."

"Will he need meds again?"

"Probably not as long as it's related only to this."

"Could it be related to other things that're hidden?"

"I don't see signs of cancer with his fairly average white blood cell counts. Have you noticed any injuries?"

"No, not in the least. The last time he limped I was in here almost immediately. He had sprained his foot."

"I remember reading that. You are a very fussy dog parent." Alex shrugged but grinned a bit. Caspian barked. "You're a good friend to them, Prince Caspian." He petted that dog. Duke let out a whine. Both dogs whined back at him and nosed him so he calmed down. "He's fine, dogs." He looked at the human again. "For tonight, we're going to keep him here." Alex winced. "I know. They're very bonded. Even the new one it seems."

"Yeah. That second night, Caspian was very good to steal the treat bag off the counter to give to Duke. He lays in the lap while they lay beside me to get petted. They seem to enjoy me brushing him because it means I ignore their baths for a few more hours."

The vet smiled. "That can work. Groomers?"

"Nah. I get into my old speedo and remember I swam a few matches in high school." He looked at Caspian, who licked his cheek. "Thanks, dear." He looked at the vet again. "Is he going to be sedated all night?"

"Yes. That would also ease his anxiety at not having them with him. We can give you something to help Devil sleep tonight if you think it'll be needed."

"Duke does...okay-ish with just me. We've had one other vet overnight and Devil nearly worried himself into an ulcer according to Tony. But I wasn't there either, I was having a talk with the one who tried to poison Duke."

The vet smiled. "Sometimes you have to have such talks with a former paramour. I just divorced mine."

"We barely dated. She got jealous of the dogs." He shook his head quickly, making Caspian move and dig his claws in. "Sorry," he said with a wince. "I won't move, Caspian. You can let go of my shoulder please." Caspian licked him and eased his claws out of his shoulder. "Thank you." He looked at the vet again. "But he'll be okay?"

"He'll be fine. You can pick him up tomorrow at eight."

"Oooh. I'm due in court at eight-thirty. Probably all day." He grimaced. "I could bring him with me but that leaves the other two in doggy daycare without him." He considered it. "Any earlier pickup spots?"

"We're here at seven-thirty for morning feeds."

"Thanks." He grinned. "That'll help. The judge can bark back. I've had to bring a dog in before that was a therapy dog and he hated it but oh well!" The vet snickered. "Okay, guys. Devil's going to nap tonight with the nice vet guy. You guys are going with me to work for about an hour and then we'll go home, get a nice dinner, and worry tonight. Okay?"

They whined so he let them both lick Duke until he growled about it - he hated to be fussed at by them - but Xander left with them. He took them back to the office, heading inside. "Sorry, Stephen," he told his supervisor. "Emergencies happen."

"What happened?"

"Duke had a seizure at doggy daycare. They think he's dehydrated. So he's got an overnight sedated. My other two are worried sick. So I'll bring him to court with me tomorrow."

"The judge wouldn't allow that, Alex."

"He can't go to doggy daycare when he's sick." He shrugged. "I'm sure I'm not the first, but maybe the first with the furry kid."

"Probably. If the judge fines you, you get to explain it to the higher ups."

"Of course." He grinned. "Let me finish up for today and calm them down." He went to his office to do that. Caspian was sitting on top of Devil's back to nuzzle him so he was calm at least. Alexsis leaned in. "Duke had a seizure. They thought he hadn't eaten but I saw him gulp breakfast. They said he's a bit dehydrated."

"That's good then. Easily fixed." Alex nodded with a sigh. "He'll be fine."

"Those two will worry all night."

"They probably will." She came in to pet the two dogs. "You boys are good." She looked at him. "You can't bring the dog into the courtroom."

"I can't leave him in the car."

"Point."

"I'm probably not the first. If I get fined I'll pay it. My client will like to pet him to keep calm."

"Probably. The judge won't."

"The judge can pet him if he's nice and decent. I'd let him pet for stress relief. I'm sure he probably needs it."

"Also probably true." She smiled. "If you have to I can pick him up from you." She went back to talk to her poodle. That one came in to rest with the two boys and made them relax again. Boris was a part-time pack member.

***

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