Xander's first official off-site speech was in Gotham of all places. Rick had laughed at him about that. He was shaking his head as he got off the plane, nearly falling down the stairs. He sighed, looking up at the stairs. "That figures." He walked off again. "Can we put some new non-skid pads on the stairs please?" he asked the senior officer on the plane.
"Yes, sir. We can do that. Every president has fallen down them at least once."
"I'm a bit clumsy," Xander admitted. "Thanks." He saluted and walked off. "Okay, let's go talk to people." Someone handed him the cards with the speech written on them. He frowned. "Why are we talking about that?" He read it and shook his head. "Not acceptable. Who said this was acceptable?" He looked at his new assistant.
"We need to handle mental health care, sir. That's why we're here to talk about it, it seems to be a problem in this area."
"Yes we do." He nodded. "This is not the way. This will hurt people who need help."
"I...."
"We want to help people and protect people. Not just put them in a hellhole system of a hospital."
"It's a bit late to rewrite it."
Xander sighed and took a pen from the holder beside him to go over the notes and correct things. "Make it sound better," he said finally, handing them over. His assistant moaned but rewrote it for him. Xander took it back to reread. He crossed out two lines and they got rewritten so they sounded better. "That'll work. Thank you." His assistant rewrote it so he could read it.
He got out since they had parked. "Sorry, had to talk to my assistant." He smiled and waved at people. The peaceful community was there for him at least. He got up to smile at them. "For some reason, someone decided I should come here to talk about mental healthcare and the needs that we have to accommodate." He heard a laugh and stared at the makeup wearing clown.
"Hey." He smiled and waved. "I'm sure Harley would say hi but she's with the Squad today on a mission." The man tried to throw something at him so Xander shot him in the hip. "Try it again." He smirked. "Not like I haven't taken down whole invasions by myself." The Joker backed off but someone grabbed him.
He tried to take out the officer but he wasn't moving too well. Xander walked over, taking out his wallet case and hitting him with something. "Demon paralytic." He walked back up to give the speech. Thankfully someone had coached him in how to give a real speech instead of a talk in a classroom.
A higher level officer walked up to him after the speech. "Mr. President?"
"Harris. Just...Xander Harris, Commissioner. Someone briefed me about you," he said at the amazed look. Almost a lie. Harley had told him about this one as a primer on Gotham.
"That's good to know. What did you use on him?"
"Demon paralytic." He grinned. "Groo snot! Works great, even on bratty slayers trying to sneak out to go to parties."
"Is that legal?"
"I don't think it's illegal. Perhaps a bit mean but well....I've heard about him from a few underground sources who wanted me to take him out." He grinned. "Not sure which way they meant though. Unlike your city's patron saint, I know some people need to be carefully put somewhere they can't get out of. For him I'd suggest a vault underwater without an air hose."
"We'd like to remake Arkham."
"Please do," Xander agreed with a grin and a nod. "Soon if you can. It'd be a great idea."
"The state doesn't want to pay for it."
"Are they wanting to build a new one?"
"They don't think it's a need."
"I'll talk to your governor. Or have someone on Rick's team talk to your governor." He shook his hand. "Let me disappear before someone gets an idea." He looked at the woman panting at him. "Hey, Succuba."
"Xander, can I help lessen the hellmouth taint?" He held out a hand so she could suck some off. She moaned. "Thank you. You taste *so* good." She walked off like she was high.
Xander winked at the commissioner. "I carry a ton of hellmouth radiation and succuba are great at lessening it for me when it's too high. I actually carry enough that they can't drain me fully of it to eat my other energy." He winked and got into the car, heading back to the airport to go to the next spot. He had to go to Metropolis. He wasn't sure why. As they drove from that airport, he looked around. "Why does this town look worse than Gotham? Has there been a battle here recently?"
"No, sir."
"Then why does it look so bad?"
"No idea, sir."
He looked at his assistant. "Be blunt. Why?"
"Tax deficits."
"Yeah, that'll stop. I can't *stand* that."
"They could not reelect you."
Xander shrugged. "Good!" The assistant groaned but nodded. When they got to that speech site, he got out to go talk to the governor and mayor who were waiting on him. "I noticed all the problems on the way in," he said in greeting. "I was hoping you guys hadn't had a major battle to cause all that."
The governor winced. "No, thankfully not recently." He looked at the mayor.
"The matching fund grants from the state haven't come in yet. They're slow."
"I'd like to see that fixed. Especially since so much of it appeared to be the poorer sections of town. Kids who grew up like me shouldn't have to suffer that too. Not all of them can back up a slayer." He walked off frowning. He waved at the people staring. "I think I'm here to talk about tax stuff?" he asked with a grin.
"School things," someone shouted.
"Oh, yeah. Schools. Which I personally do not get along well in, but that could've been that my town's schools were so far under the national levels they were echos." He talked about schools and his hope for schools. He also talked about alternative schools for people who didn't do well in lecture classes. Beyond vo-tech and the punishment schools.
The crowd was looking pleased with that set of ideas. He smiled at them. "Also, I know those things take funding. I'm going to fix a few...loopholes soon. I pay my fair share. The burden of taxes should not be on the shoulders of those who earn the least. Or the middle class.
"Back in the year my mother was born, the tax rate for bigger corporations and the highest earners was around seventy percent. That's why we could build bridges and schools and roads." He licked his lips. "I'm thinking that it being nearly five percent right now is a problem. I'm going to push for it to go back up to a top tier tax bracket of twenty-five percent on income over a billion dollars a year.
"I'm told the way it works is that the income in the lower brackets you pay that amount, then the stuff that overflows you pay on that bracket's amounts, then you get to the top and pay in that one. It's wrong that people who wouldn't even notice if they lost ten million in an hour don't pay their own taxes."
He stared at one person. "And before people whine that I'll never get reelected, great! I don't want a second term but I'm damn sure going to fix some things so people don't grow up like I did. Or I could suggest we do like a certain period in historical Rome when the richest citizen was honored to have his entire wealth taken to pay as taxes.
"Then he could start over. They used to fight to be the one who got used that way." He smiled as he walked off. "Hopefully that'll go to fix all the damage in your city and build the new schools you guys need. So no one else can use your streets as a war movie set." He waved as he got into the car and was driven off.
Lex Luthor was looking amused. He was in the top twenty certainly but not the one who'd be hit for a few years. Unless ones like him suddenly started to do a lot of charity work. So an indirect threat. It was clear Harris knew who he really was and what he did as a ...hobby. His file on Harris showed he could be a dirty asshole when he wanted to be. Did he want to push the president to poke his head into LexCorps business? Not really.
That may be a very bad idea and lead to even worse things happening. "He's right, I don't pay the same tax rate my secretary does," he said when a press person looked at him. "That isn't really fair or correct. Greedy of me many would say. I do want to appear to be a good citizen." He looked at the mayor. "I'll run a few fundraisers to fix all that damage that hasn't been fixed yet?"
"That's a generous offer, Mr. Luthor. Thank you for that." The mayor smiled and shook his hand. "It is needed. Hopefully we'll be able to up our schools as well."
"Yes, we should. He's right, plenty of people don't learn from books. They could be more productive members of society if they're properly educated beyond their basics." He walked off looking amused. A bit angry but the guy was right. It did look bad on him, as the most prominent citizen of the city, that the town looked so bad. He listened to his speech at Gotham when he got back to the office, laughing as the guy used a demon snot paralytic on the Joker. He was showing up heros and others today.
***
Rick walked into the oval office, staring at Xander. "You're sure you want to do that?"
"Yup. It's needed." He stared at him. "It'll bring down the deficit. It'll give people money to rebuild all those bridges that need it. To rehab housing so it's not sitting there rotting while we have homeless people. To up schools and school lunches. I don't want anyone else to end up eating tofu on wonderbread because that's the school lunch that day."
"That's gross."
"Yes it was."
"Are you going to go full on socialist?"
"I believe that if you give people the things they need to take advantage of opportunities most will use it. Some things should be counted as human rights. We have thousands of houses sitting around rotting thanks to foreclosures and being abandoned. Why? We have fewer homeless people than we do housing that's sitting around rotting.
"We can get groups to rehab them and sell them cheaply enough or even just lease them on rental contract through the local housing authority or HUD office. We have stuff to feed people, and we're not. There's no reason for a child today to have their only meal be school lunch, and that needs to be looked at too.
"They're healthy but for some kids that four hundred calories isn't enough. We also need to repair infrastructure that's crumbling since it was built before the turn of the century. Metropolis had a lot of places that looked like a war movie set. All of them in poorer housing areas. Gotham had some of that too but they've been cleaning it up after bigger problems. Slowly but they're trying."
"I can understand that. People are going to yell about socialism."
"Well, maybe we've proven that the American Ideal of showing up, working hard, and you'll make a good income wrong by now. It's not that way anymore."
"No it's not. And it hasn't been for decades."
"Which we both grew up in."
"True." He nodded at that. "I can support that but it's going to get us screamed at. The next guy would take them out."
"Perhaps. But those projects will be started by then. The states could elect to finish them. The ones that cut off the income tax rate are already suffering and it shows."
"It does. They're still going to scream."
Xander nodded. "The American Dream only works if you showed up with money."
"True." He tipped his head. "Neither of us want kids to grow up like we did."
"Yes I don't." He grinned and nodded. "They had me giving a speech that wanted me to talk about enforcing hospitalizations."
"Hell."
"Yes it will be when I have that talk. You have tact, wanna go talk to them for me?"
"Please." He got handed that speech's cards and grimaced. "Hell no!" He went to gather the team for the oval office and presidential support staff so they could have a meeting about all that. He could explain Xander to them. They didn't like it but oh well. They could find their replacements if they had to.
He heard Harley come bouncing in and run in to hug Xander and grinned when he caught her eye. He went back to talking to the staff about Xander's viewpoints about things. Xander handed in an outlined list of ideas and walked off with Harley to get some ice cream with the minis who had just shown up.
Rick ended up doing the same thing with most of the team since they were in for sparring with Xander in the big gym here. The girls talked them into it by pouting at them. Too many of the Squad had kids so they gave in easily.
***
Xander looked at the staring generals. He was actually in Missouri to give a speech. Then this had popped up. It had totally screwed with the plans going on in DC today, but thankfully Flag was on his way out to this military base. The local generals had conferenced in the higher generals to handle overall orders.
He had lucked into good leaders who had good ideas and had studied the last event like this one. "This isn't the one that was foreseen, people. That one was alien. Or at least on space ships." They groaned. "And we're a year too early." He looked around. "Are these the same ones that did the portals the last time? I know the portals are just starting but have we seen through them yet?"
"Yes, sir," one of the Marines said. "They said it'll be about an hour before it opens based on last time's progression."
"Did the witches say they still had a master portal?" They nodded. "Is it back in Georgia?"
"Montana," the head of the Marines said from the phone.
"Okay." He considered the maps, letting Flag get into them when he stomped in wearing body armor already. Xander had his on too. "You want the suicide spot or one of the major areas?"
"Major area. But you're taking Peacekeeper. I'll need the others. You won't have enough people who can shoot good enough." Xander stared at him. "You are. You need the guarding, Xander. You two work well together."
"I handled it last time."
"This time you're missing two ribs."
Xander rolled his eye even though he didn't really mind. He and Christopher got along pretty well and they had hung out a few times to do guy things because Xander had forgotten what guys did thanks to being around the slayers too often. "Whatever. But fine. Like my guys last time I'll make sure he's got explosives if he needs 'em."
"He'd enjoy that. I never let him play with anything bigger than a handgun outside of missions."
They went over it and Flag assigned people's spots. Xander went to make a statement to the press from the local video conference center while he handled that so the people knew it wasn't the one that was foreseen but it was apparently a rerun of an earlier one. They'd handle it better this time. With military backup this time. Xander got handed his axe by Harley, getting a hug too before she jogged off after Rick to go save Gotham this time.
Xander nodded at the one left to him. "We've got the bad spot." He handed something over. "Explosives. Blow up whatever you can if you can." They shared a look.
Peacekeeper nodded. He knew that was a 'take them out with you if you're going to die anyway' last event explosive device. "If I have to, I can blow the portal or them." He checked, it was a few explosive packets strung together that could be set off together or singly.
Xander nodded. "I've got two if you need extra." He pointed at his belt pack and they walked out together. Xander had trained a lot with the Squad. And the slayers. The girls were going to handle a few portals but they were being backed up and agents were handling the rest with military backup this time.
They'd handle it faster at least. Once they were in the jet taking them to the nearest base in Montana to helicopter in from he sighed. He looked at the two with them. He handed over their explosives. "If you're in the battle, try to get that onto the portal. If not, use it how you see fit to destroy some of the nasties." He looked at Christopher again, getting a shrug. "I know. Last time too."
"Do you have another of those bombs handy?"
"I have two more emergency weapons I can pull out but that means I won't have any at the other thing. These were built specifically to take out other worldly beings instead of inter-dimensional ones. They're here," he said with a point at those spots. Peacemaker nodded once.
"If we gotta, we gotta, and I'll go sex up an arms dealer again to get more I guess. Or I'll figure it out and Xander it when the actual testing one comes." Peacemaker snorted but looked amused. "I've done it before. At least I'm not naked and it's not raining this time." They took off to be taken to the Montana site.
The militia wannabes up there were trying to handle it when they finally got there. The military unit backing them up showed up after they had landed. All Special Forces. Xander looked at them. "That portal has to come down. It's apparently the master one holding the others open again. Just like Georgia last time," he announced. "Let's do it, people. You all got explosives, right?"
"Yes, sir," the leader agreed. "Which sucks."
"Yeah but sometimes it's the right answer even if it is a bad reality we're in. Would you rather be eaten?"
"No," he admitted. "Fall in, help the militia boys and girls. Make sure the president doesn't fall."
"If I fall, I fall," Xander ordered them. "I've been in just as bad and if I go, oh fucking well, Flag will do fine and he's a West Point guy." The unit leader winced. "Oh fucking well, kid. C'mon." They went down to help, Xander pulling off his axe to take a swing at the first demon.
It shouted he was there. It brought more. "What? Mad I nuked you last time?" he joked. "You should wait and see what I do this time." He got back to work, grumbling about this. He finally dropped the body armor vest and moved back in. "Better but ow."
Peacemaker saw that and whined. "Oh, that's going to be bad. He's going to be yelled at." He heard a familiar voice and looked. "Oh, hey, Flag's dad," he called with a wave. "He's at the one in Gotham."
"I heard from the news. Guard your protectee, now!"
"I'm trying!" He moved closer to Xander, ducking a swing. "Easy there."
"Two feet to the right, Christopher."
"Fine." He did that and they moved forward, him firing, Xander cutting. Another group of different demons came over. "Are they shootable?" he called.
Xander looked. "Those are beheaders and their blood is acidic and can burn you in bigger blobs," he yelled. The soldiers moaned. "Not my doing. Sorry! Blowing the fuckers up means their heads come off though." They did that and went back to the original ones. Xander winced at the first burn from the blood but he'd handle it and keep going. He got one of their higher ups down. "Hey, I got a prince!" he shouted.
The other side's army focused on him and let the soldiers do what they had to do while Xander defended himself. He moaned at one hit to his side then cut that one in half. "I need my battle claws," he muttered. "Too bad I lost them in a poker game." He cut a few more and the soldiers got them from surrounding him. He sighed, catching his breath.
"Let's blow the portal, guys. It's gotta go off. If it's not the master portal, we'll tell the others while we get stitches." They caught their breath between waves of demons since they couldn't get near the portal. Xander used his explosives and crossbow from his back to shoot it at the portal. It blew up some of the troops. A few more tried to blow it up. They got closer.
Xander pulled out one of the spares and headed forward, shaking his head. "Let's blow this pop stand." One of the guys tried to take it from him. "Let me do it. If I fall it's okay. You guys got Flag." He made it nearby and got to blow up part of the portal. It twisted, which reset it to another realm. Xander winced. He stepped into view.
"We're trying to blow up another portal to save our planet from an invasion. It reset to yours, we're not invading," he called and waved. "Sorry!" The military guys got the other side exploded and the portal sucked into itself. He sighed in pleasure. "Oh, good. And not that other problem too. They're probably harder to kill."
He wobbled a bit. "I need a cookie." He wandered back, trying to get his vest but it was covered in the acidic blood and being eaten through. "Sure." He nodded. Peacemaker slapped him on the back of the head. "Hey! You would've too," he told him.
"I'm not the president."
"Fuck that shit. I'm a guy who has had to protect the earth a few times from demon problems. I'm a hunter. President is just a temporary job title." He helped a few guys up, making one whine in pain. "I know but there's paramedics," he soothed. "C'mon. I'll treat you like a slayer. They can even give you ice cream tonight."
The guy snorted but leaned on him to limp with them. "Get the people off the field so we can burn it," he called hoarsely. The paramedic took the guy from him. He sighed as he sat down, grabbing some gatorade to drink. "Damn I hate those beings. They need to stay home." He took another drink and got out of the way. "Let me go help injured people."
"We have a military unit who was going to relieve you guys to do that, sir," one paramedic said. "Are you injured?"
Xander snorted and nodded. "But I don't believe in the power of medics since I've been exposed to multiple types of demon blood over the years. That's why I have black and gooey spots in mine and a few flecks of blue stuff...." He looked at himself. "The green's not mine."
The paramedic walked him over to the tent to get him treated. "He's been exposed to demon bloods."
"Of course he has. You kill them and they bleed on you," another soldier quipped.
"Exactly," Xander agreed. "But I'm mostly okay. Just really tired and thirsty."
"Did someone get eaten?" one of the body hauling team asked. "We spotted a body armor vest."
"That's mine," Xander called. "It was getting in the way of my swing. I've got a backup at home." They nodded. Xander took the communication headset from the head of the Spec Ops teams since it sounded like he was being argued with. "It's Harris. This portal is down. Was it the master as we thought? The red ones need to be beheaded and their blood is highly acidic. It will burn skin if it touches you. I suggest higher yield blowing off their heads."
He finished his gatorade and nodded. "Give me five minutes then tell the witches, dude." He handed it back. "It was the master, the other one's on that base that had the portal open on it." The military guys all winced. "They got the demons but can't blow the portal. I'm going to do that. Thank you guys for the good service today." He shook hands and left.
"Flag is going to kill my ass for not going with him," Peacemaker said quietly as he came back from the latrine. He got brought to another fight and nodded at the beings. "Thank you for that service." They flew off. He rushed up to get into the battle. If he had to, he still had his last event explosives. "Guys, anything red has acidic blood and will burn you," he called to the obvious commander.
"The other ones can be blown up. Behead the red ones somehow." That got a nod. "The master's down." The portal shut and he sighed in pleasure but threw the explosive. Well, most of it. He had kept a single unit of it for his later use just in case. He didn't want to die from being eaten if he fell.
They fought this group off and he finally did get too injured to stand and blow demons away, and he really thought about using the explosive but the other guys had it. He whined as he fell to a broken leg, getting helped up by someone so he could hop off. He handed that guy the explosive. That one nodded and went to use it on the demons.
Xander showed up with artillery and blew up the group. "Not this year either. And never try it again," he called. "Before I get really angry and do a return visit to your own people." The demons finished dying. Xander helped his guard to the medics and disappeared to handle the rest of Gotham. He had stuff from Andrew again. Including a new laser cannon.
It wasn't as effective this time but it sure could destroy stuff. Including something trying to eat Harley. "Do it later please, Miss Ivy?" he called. "Let's fight the ones trying to eat humanity first? They won't like your plants any more than others do." She sent it at them and let her ex-girlfriend be for now. Xander hated this cannon and decided to go 'fuck it' and call out for something he was owed.
It was handed to him by an agent from a demon plane and Xander used it on that group. They went up with screams of pain from the incendiary powers. He fired on others until they were down to a few demons left and they got them. "Finally!" he panted. "Wow." He let the demon agent have it. "Thank you for the lending."
"You can hold that one. You use it well, Harris. Even if it does suck off your energy taint." He disappeared with a smile.
Xander grinned back. "I'll remember that." He sighed, looking at Poison Ivy. "Well," he said. She let out a tiny smirk at that noise. "Can you clean up the mess with something that'll eat the demon parts but not stick around or mutate to eat people?"
She tipped her head. "Perhaps. You'd trust me to do that?"
"No. But I trust the mayor less. It's in your interest not to have corrupting, infecting, or poisoning demon parts littering the area."
"Point." She walked off, staring at Harley, who shrugged. "How did you get here?"
"Most of the Squad is here."
"Oh, them," she said, grimacing.
"We do good work, Pammy," she said, limping closer. "We really do."
"I realize that. Shoo. Let me help clean up this disaster area." Harley nodded, limping off. Xander wasn't around. She stared at Flag, who shrugged.
"Let's get people to medics," Flag ordered. "Before we die of demon blood infection or something." He looked around. "Thank you to all the warriors the peaceful community sent," he called. "It was much appreciated and helped a great deal." They bowed and left together.
A few others who had jumped in followed. He made sure their wounded got picked up to go to the medics too. One balked but Rick Flag glared at him. "They put their lives on the line to help defend the earth and the city. You'll treat them like any other fighter we had," he ordered quietly. "Am I clear?"
"Yes, Colonel. I don't know about any body differences though."
"Then get one of their healers here once you do necessary primary care stuff."
"I can do that. Someone get them a healer of their own kind," he called.
"He's on his way," another medic called back. "This way, Vice President Flag," he called with a wave. "Your people are over here." He nodded, limping that way. "Reports are stating most everything else was already stopped. Metropolis was still going and three others are still going. Superman is in Kansas for some reason. The other two were just military and all information was passed on to them as well. They needed more higher level weapons we think."
"That's good. I'll get a sit rep once I've had a drink. Thank you." He shook his hand and sat down on the end of Bloodshot's bed to sip some water that got handed to him while he called in. "It's Flag, Gotham's portal is done. The president showed up with a bigger gun and finished it off for us. He asked Pamela Isley to clean up the battle site."
He listened. "They need me or him? I have no idea where he is or Peacemaker since I put him on Xander's ass." He listened then nodded. "That figures. We'll find him somewhere I'm sure. Thanks. Flag out." He hung up and handed the device back.
"The witches took Xander from that primary battle site in Montana and took him to one on a base where they needed higher weapons. Peacemaker got sent to Metropolis. Got injured, he's there. Someone find the president?" he called. "He was here and then seemed to vanish."
"Ask at the poker ball," one of the demon warriors said. "It's downtown by the library."
"I can send someone to do that." Harley tried to get up but was pushed back down. "You, stay."
"I can ask."
"I don't care."
"With his luck, Puddin' took him for darting him."
"We've got six superheroes in town, Quinn. Let them do their jobs too, or the Secret Service." He looked at a nearby guard, who was calling that in.
"Batman is going to check there later. The commissioner has asked and he said he would. He's checking his cohorts then he'll go ask."
"Okay. Let me know. I don't want the big desk." That got a nod. Rick slumped and caught his breath and calmed himself down. They'd find Xander eventually. Xander had some way of surviving even the most stupid things.
***
Xander looked up from where he was hanging by his wrists. He had been knocked cold and woke up here. He was not a happy boy. "Dude, I've had worse than this on a date night," he said dryly. "I mean, really? People are scared of you?"
"Yes!" the Joker sneered. "They are!" He tried to hit Xander again on the weak spot he had found on his side. Xander flinched but sneered and spit on him. "Eww. That's childish."
"Not with the demon blood I've been exposed to." The Joker grimaced, wiping it off. Xander kicked up and kicked him back. "Your breath stinks. Were you sucking off Frolanx demons? Dude, scope! Please!"
"What, it reminding you of a few dates?"
"No, even the warlords had better breath. Scope exists in Africa too, dude." The Joker tried to hit him again and Xander kicked him back again. So he picked up the tire iron. "Aww, you need a weapon. Let me have one too, we'll see who's the better weapons person." The Joker took a swing.
Xander shifted to block it and that snapped the hook the chain was on. "Wow, you bought cheap shit." He ducked the newest blow and hit him back. It became a brawl. Which got interrupted. Xander looked over at the door exploding in, nodding. "Get my pet weapon please? It's an honor they let me keep it."
He brutally beat the asshole a few more times. At the end, the Joker was on the ground groaning. He leaned down with a bloody smirk. "Ya know, if Harley was dirty enough to be one of mine, I'd be the best boyfriend ever. Squealing nightly, no torture unless she asked, and the best boyfriend ever. I guess I really do out-man you in every category."
"I can blow you up."
"A whole demon plane tried earlier. You're weaker than them too." He walked over his body, taking his weapons to pet. His axe went on his back and he cuddled the new special gun. "C'mon, baby. We'll go back to the white house. People are going to be freaking out on Flag soon."
He looked at the younger guy in the Batman like costume. He wasn't sure which one it was, there were a few mini Batman running around Gotham. "Thanks, dude. Great timing on that distraction for me." He punched him on the arm. "Let me go get dinner. I haven't eaten since late last night." He limped off with his weapon and his axe back on his back.
"Mr. Harris, you forgot a gun," he said with a point.
Xander grinned. "He can have that one. It's hard to find bullets for and it's only got two left. He can use them I'm sure. After all, he chose dishonor before death." He limped off happier with that. A guard sped up and parked next to him, getting out to help him into the car. "I'm fine. Don't touch the weapons, it's a sign of respect that they let me keep the energy sucking one and my baby needs to be cleaned by me when I get back."
"Sir, you're injured."
Xander looked at himself then at the guy. "Really? I could've sworn I was in a battle earlier. Huh, think of that!" The guard groaned. "I'm fine. The slayers are going to nag like shit when I call in to check on them later. How're my minis?"
"They're fine. They were in the white house bunker with some of the staff." He drove him off.
"Any reports on my older girls?"
"Six slayers died, a few are in the hospital." Xander slumped but nodded. "They're probably expecting you tomorrow."
"I'll make a speech to calm down people tonight then head in the morning."
"Yes, sir."
"I'll bring the minis with me." That got a nod too and he called that in. Once he was on the presidential jet, he cleaned his face off and stood in front of the camera that was linked back to the Press Office. He sighed as the taping started. "We won," he said. "With a lot of sacrifices of military, civilians, and slayers. I mourn those who died defending everyone else. And I mourn with those who lost family and friends.
"For now, things are back at peace and will hopefully stay there for days. We'll be calling for a four day weekend for official mourning duties and to see if anyone did something extraordinary that needs to be publically noted. For now, mourn, sleep knowing that you're safe, and that if they try a third time we'll stop them sooner." He hung up the camera and went to collapse on a chair to rest for now.
The guard stared at him. "You're not wearing your body armor."
"I had to take it off earlier, it was getting in the way of swinging my axe." He pulled it over to get to work cleaning it. "Do we have regular alcohol and q-tips?"
"Yup." He got the weapons cleaning kit for him.
Xander smiled slightly. "Thanks." He got to work cleaning up his baby. Then his new baby. By the time they got back to DC it was nearly the middle of the night and he was exhausted. They detoured him to the infirmary but he was good enough. Just needed some sleep. The medics disagreed but oh well. Xander limped off to go shower and sleep. Then he'd get reports on the battles from the generals to look over.
***
Xander opened the slayer house's door and let the minis run inside to the bathroom and to go looking for people. He followed the last one, nodding at Giles. "How many?"
"Possibly ten," he admitted, shaking his hand. "The girls were fine?"
"They were in the white house bunker."
"That's good," he sighed. "They didn't try the house this time."
"There were only three repeating spots this time." He led him to the office to share what he'd need to record for later events. "Did you guys get the acidic blooded beheaders?"
"No. I heard there were." Xander showed a picture taken from a video. "Oh, them." He made that note as well. "Are you here for the funerals?" Xander nodded. "Willow would have enjoyed that." Xander winced. Giles patted him on the arm. "You've both made it longer than most field watchers, Xander. She fell during the battle protecting some of the other witches who were destroying the portal." Xander nodded, biting his lip then nodding again. He sighed. "We'll figure things out."
"We always do," Xander agreed quietly. "Any of my girls?"
"Only one's in the hospital but it's a traction, not ICU or post surgical." Xander nodded, going to visit the slayers in the hospital. It cheered them up. He even let them nag him about stuff. He'd be there for the funerals and could help them attend.
***
Peacemaker looked at the military guy at the foot of his hospital bed with the tablet. "Who are you?" the officer asked. "Designation and serving where?"
"Peacemaker. Task Force X and sometimes the VP's guard squad. I was on the president for the battle but the witches moved him without me. Then a flying being moved me to the one I got injured at."
"That makes sense." He typed that in. "Your colonel is wondering where you are."
"That's fine. Once I can get out of here I'll go back to DC somehow."
"We can get you there." He looked at him. "The president?"
"He's with the slayers by the news. They lost some of them. The beehive of press people caught him bringing the minis home for the funerals."
"That figures." He nodded, making a note. "We'll get you transport tonight, soldier." He left him to figure out who the others were and where they belonged.
***
Flag met his guy at the airfield. "You're walking?"
"Barely. Their damn weapon nearly took off my leg." He limped over. "I looked over and saw your dad."
"I heard that. He's not amused that they tried it again. Said they should've learned from Xander nuking them last time."
"Is he okay?"
"Not sure. I haven't actually seen him or talked to him. He got away from the medics though so he's at least walking." He stared at him. "You good?"
"Mad at myself."
"Me too. Each time I get injured that badly." He walked him back to the car. "Anything I haven't heard?"
"Did you hear he took off the body armor because it was getting in the way of him using his axe?"
"No, I hadn't," he said dryly and smirked. "I need to yell at him before I have to take over his spot. Especially since after the last battle he was in, he got captured by Harley's ex for a brawl." Peacemaker slumped, shaking his head. "Apparently Xander beat him pretty badly."
"Wow. I haven't had that sort of energy ever."
"Me either." They got driven back to the VP's residence so they could calm down and check on each other. He saw Harley was pouting. "What?"
"Pammy's upset with me."
"For saving people? Get a better pussy to date, Harley."
"I don't know why." She leaned back, her leg propped up on the coffee table. "You good?"
"I suck. Whatever they were firing nearly took off my leg." He sat down ad put his leg up too. "Is the thing that got us sent up here as bad?"
"Aliens. The visions showed a gun battle mostly. They're not able to be shot or exploded or anything else that we have on hand in the military so they took some people. We're going to go around it."
"Good!" a few of them agreed.
"So just some yahoos who want to welcome their alien overlord then," Harley quipped. She slumped down. "It sucks they won't give us real meds."
"Not like they want you high," Rick said dryly. "I'll grab the aleeve for you."
"Thanks, Ricky." She looked at Christopher. "You look weird."
"Physically? Or because I ran into his dad? And then my dad's ghost." He shook his head.
"That's enough to weird people out," she said, reaching over to pat him on the wrist. He smirked at her. "Being a comforting sort so you can rest until you can go get the anger out on the heavy bag again."
"Thanks." He took his dose of pills and swallowed them dry. She did the same thing and took the water Rick handed them. "Thanks." He yawned. "Let me go crash."
"Go ahead." He helped them stand and let them wander up to their beds. He went to his own to write his father an email. His old man was still creeped out about why he had the present job. So was Rick really. And he had one last big battle he had to handle before he could retire from it.
***
Xander winced as he bent, then straightened up. "Let's try that again." He bent down to get the dropped pen and stood up slowly. "Better. I've got to deal with that." He sat down to go back to his paperwork.
His guard walked in and stopped in front of the desk. "Sir, it was noted you took off your special vest."
"Yes I did. It got in the way of me swinging my axe." He stared at him. "My side is fine. Really it is. Bending over sucks still, but I'm fine."
"Why is bending hurting? Does it in your vest?"
"That vest is to cover a place where I'm missing a rib. It's not for my back. And I couldn't bend over in it."
"Oh, I did not realize that. A rib...how are you missing a rib?"
"The same battle that we lost Slayer Buffy in."
"Oh. It didn't grow back?"
"They had to excise it completely and the one below it that didn't join at the front."
"So you're missing two ribs."
Xander nodded with a smirk. "I am. And I've trained without my vest before. I'll be okay. My backup vest is being fitted better by the tailor I use." He went back to the paperwork. The guard lunged at him so he got him with a desk statue he kept for that and then stabbed him when the guy staggered back from the blow. "Is that really what you think is a good idea?" He looked out there. "Patrick," he called. "This guard tried to attack me. He needs a medic."
"Not an ambulance?"
"I only stabbed him, Patrick. Come get his ass."
"I was just testing you," the guard whined.
"Yay. You still attacked me." Two guards and a medic came in. "He decided to attack me. I got him with the desk statue and then stabbed him a tiny bit."
The medic checked him over. "He'll live." The guards helped him haul the guy up and walk him down to the infirmary.
Xander looked at his assistant. "He asked me about my vest."
"We noticed but we figured it was for a back injury."
"No, it's a well known fact I'm missing a rib and one of the half ribs on the bottom. They had to completely remove them."
"Ow," his assistant complained, rubbing his side. "I have not heard that from anywhere, sir."
"It's fairly well known as far as I know." Rick stomped in. "Didn't everyone know about my rib?"
"Yeah, as far as I know," he agreed. He stared at him. "Your backup vest?"
"Being tailored."
"Replacing the other one?"
"No idea. I can't find a new one." He shrugged. "It happens."
"The guard?"
"Told me he was testing me after I had to stab him."
"Great." Rick stared at him. "Can we cover that weakness somehow?"
"I've trained without the vest. I had to deal with that idiot ex of Harley's without the vest too." He gave him a pointed look. "I'm good, really. I'm okay. It just hurts to bend today for some reason."
"Get it checked."
"My doc's in Cleveland." He sat back down. "He's a healer because a lot of docs won't treat me due to the demon blood exposure."
Rick sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Are there not healers locally?"
"Richmond."
"Can we travel to see that one?"
"No." He grinned. "We've got three meetings later. Right now I'm just sore for some reason. It's good. I'm okay. I mean, I had malaria and still had a battle I had to handle."
"Get one of the medics up here to check him over," Rick ordered. "Just in case he's hiding another injury. They barely got to fuss at him after the battle and the torture later." He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Xander. "I'm going to sic Harley and Peacemaker on you. Together. To bully your ass into using some sense." Xander sighed, shaking his head. "Good. Thank you for being reasonable." A medic came in wearing two pairs of gloves and a mask. "He's not contagious."
"I don't want that spilled on me in case, Colonel." He had Xander sit on a chair so he could look him over. Rick looked at Patrick, who went to call around to find that healer to set up an appointment. "I see a few injuries but they look fine."
"I had trouble bending over," Xander admitted. He leaned forward at the gentle push. "Ow, there."
"That's...a bruise for some reason." The medic stepped back. "We can have your doctor at Bethesda send you for a few exams."
"I don't see the guy at Bethesda. He doesn't like the demon blood exposure either. He refused."
Rick huffed. "We're going to have to fix that. If you die I'm going to call you back and yell for days before I take you out again."
Xander looked at him. "Recalling a lost spirit to come back that way will weaken the First Evil again. Do we need that sort of problem too?"
"No. I'd have you taken out again when I was done yelling." Patrick came back. "The healers?"
"Said he's a human."
Xander nodded. "I get that a lot." He grinned. "A lot of healers hate to treat me because I am a human with demon blood exposure and a lot of human docs hate treating me because I've had demon blood exposure. The one in Cleveland tolerates me. I can set up an appointment the next time I'm back in Cleveland."
Rick nodded. "That won't be for months."
"It's probably just a bruise, Rick."
"It's probably something worse."
"Colonel, I'm fine."
He stared at him. "You pull rank and I'm going to kick your ass our next sparring time, sir." He smirked a tiny bit.
Xander grinned. "You haven't managed that in weeks."
"Yeah, I've been training the new squad members." He grabbed the desk phone and called. "Harley, he's ignoring he's injured. Docs don't want to see him. Come nag him. He can't even bend over." He hung up and stared at Xander. "Quit being so stubborn. I do not want to take your job." Peacemaker stomped in. "Good. Nag his ass like he's your wife. He can't bend over." He stomped off shaking his head to straighten out a few other people.
Peacemaker looked at him. "You're not really wife material. Especially if you can't bend over."
"I know a few arms dealers who would've disagreed with that thought." He sat back down with a wince. "There's a bruise."
"I'm pretty sure there's more than a few with your history." He sat down. "So what is it really?"
"Bruise. Lower back." He grimaced. "They happen at times."
"How did you get bruised there?"
"Not really certain. It could've been during that one fight after the battle I guess." He screwed up his face then let it go. "No clue really." He got back to work. "Make the guards quit gossiping? I can hear them nagging each other about getting close to me."
"I can do that." He heaved himself up and went to casually stroll that way. The guards gave him a horrified look so he smiled. "The president said he was hearing rumors about you guys not wanting to guard him?"
"He's not a normal human."
"No he's not. He's a long term combat veteran. He has more time in service than Flag does because he started younger, but it's not from an officially recognized service branch."
"They said he's been exposed to demon blood."
"Yeah. He killed a bunch over the years. They bled as they died." He grimaced. "Wanted to take his place and help the slayers?"
"No." They shared a look. "He's still very weird. Very informal."
"He's not used to all this stuff. Neither of them grew up knowing anything about all this sort of stuff. They've got people in to teach them table manners." The guards grimaced but nodded. "Do your duty or have your people switch you for someone who can do your duty.
"Xander shouldn't have to shoot anyone himself. Even if they are the ex that showed up last night." They groaned and went to find out who that was. Peacemaker limped back to the office and settled in again. "Was that warlord actually that good?"
"Eeeeehhhhh," Xander sighed, then shrugged but grinned. "Better than many who just used me for their own pleasure and hated it if I got any of my own."
"You've dated a lot of limp dicked idiots."
"I have," Xander said with a grin and a nod. "And some were girls." He went back to the paperwork he hated. "Why am I filling out manpower reports?" he muttered, staring at it. "Patrick, why am I filling out stuff that looks like the guard team should be doing?"
"That way they have an accurate count of who actually showed up instead of assuming the whole team was actually doing their jobs." Patrick came in to look at it. "That event, you were scheduled to have three guards." He pointed at that line. "Did you?"
"We had one." He wrote that down. Patrick helped him go through that one then left with the papers to fax them over. He gathered the ones from Colonel Flag's assistant, Marta, to do the same thing with. His had little doodles on the margins thanks to a few of his guys, and Harley, but they'd accept them in that format too. Especially since it showed the artist beating the agents who hadn't shown up.
***
Xander looked up from his paperwork of doom. It seemed to explode somehow the night before. Or bred maybe. He had left with only two things to read and came back to nineteen folders and another six things to read on top of the two. He'd whine but his guards today would just smirk and agree to take him out so he didn't have to do it. Though Flag would kill them if they did. Was that really a bad thing though? He'd be free of all this.
At least thinking about being killed was better than doing the paperwork.
He finally stood up and tossed his jacket on the chair. "Okay, I'm done. Fuck this shit. I need to hit B-Dubs."
"Why not go to a real wing place?" Harley asked him.
"Because they have beer there and tvs that show sports I have no idea about. I really know nothing about sports."
Christopher stared at him for a minute. "Really? You're a guy, Xander."
"Who had one guy friend until we were sixteen, and neither of us were sporty, and then I was surrounded by women until I went to Africa. I have *no* clue about sports but the noise is nice. Beer is too sometimes even though I hate drinking. But today, it's looking like a day I could drink myself to death thanks to the paperwork."
Harley sighed and looked up somewhere. "Okay, we can go watch you eat dinner."
"Fuck no, you're coming with me so I'm officially guarded." He hauled her up. "It's not fair that you don't get to eat. That'd suck." He walked out with her and Peacemaker behind him. "Peacemaker, any idea if you like wings?"
"Call me Christopher when we're just being casual," he reminded dryly. "And yeah, I like wings. You aren't going to do a wing challenge right?"
"Nah. I'm not really into barbeque sauce but B-Dubs has a garlic and parmesan sauce that's nice enough." He grinned at him then walked around his walking assistant. "Going out for dinner."
"That's fine, sir. Did you get anything done?"
"No, I stared in horrified stupidness at most of them because I have no idea what they say." He beamed at him. "You can put it into tiny words tomorrow." He ran out to the garage, getting his keys from the lock box. The guard in there gave him an odd look. "I'm escaping for dinner."
"We can go clear somewhere out," he offered, getting up.
"I was going to hide in a corner of a B-Dubs and pretend to be invisible." He beamed. "Since no one seems to recognize me it should be okay. If not, I've got at least two knives and a bottle of holy water." He climbed into his car. Christopher sighed and shoved him over then got in to drive. "Hey! Not the wife!"
"You're not allowed to drive," Harley said as she got into the back. "Sorry, Xander!" She grinned at him. "It's not considered safe."
"No one here can tell who I am. They all recognize Rick and not me. Hell, I've snuck out so many times it's not funny. Including past you two." They nodded they heard about that, looking amused.
Christopher changed the radio station to a classic rock station and pulled out, taking them to the place Harley liked. It wasn't a sports bar, though it did have tvs playing a few sports. It was by American University so was full of broke college students.
They gave them a curious look but only one person asked if Harley was herself. She smiled and patted him on the cheek with a nod. "Dinner time," Christopher told him. That kid got an autograph and left them to eat. Xander smirked at him. "Fine. You're almost invisible."
"You know, Cordy and her Cordettes made some girl invisible in high school," Xander said. "They ignored her so hard she actually turned invisible. I really should make sure she's still okay since the government got her." He settled into the backside of a booth and looked at the menu.
They did have a sauce he'd like, and teriyaki if he had to go there. So it was good and the tv's were droning about college football. Which he did not understand. He stared at one tv. "Willow used to call football gay sex in teams." Christopher choked on his beer trying not to laugh.
"Tara said it looked more like a sacred trek to bring home the new baby past an enemy force. Which I can agree with. Aggressively trying to get the new baby home. Though that doesn't explain all the patting that they do these days." He sipped his own beer, a darker German beer thanks to Harley ordering. "Oh, hey, that doesn't smell like my dad. Thanks, Harley."
"Welcome, Xander." She looked at Christopher. "We knew the girls warped him."
"Buffy watched golf and horse jumping and sometimes diving to see the guys in the speedos." Xander shrugged. "She sure stared when I went UC on the swim team. Her and Willow."
Christopher looked at him. "You did?"
"They were turning into creatures and eating other students. Someone had to figure it out."
"Great."
"I was skinnier and lanky back then. I bulked up with muscles after grad." He took another drink then checked he had his wallet. He did and it had money and his lone debit card. "I'm good, get dinner, guys." The waitress came over. "Howdy." He grinned. "I need wings. It's been a day full of stupid."
"I can do that. How many do you want, sir?"
"Say, ten to start, with that garlic and parmesan sauce?" She nodded. "And a burger with no veggies but pickles and bacon and ketchup?"
"I can do that." She made that note and looked at the others, who ordered a double burger in Christopher's case and Harley got an appetizer platter to nibble her way through.
Xander looked at her. "You need to eat more than apps."
"I'm good. I had a huge lunch. I nearly cleaned out the buffet at the caf because I managed to skip breakfast." Xander sighed but stared at her. "I can get more later when you order more wings."
"Good point." He handed back the menu with a smile. "Thanks."
"Welcome. Same check?" Xander nodded so she went to put that order in.
Xander saw it when some demon walked in and a few people got aggressive. He sipped his beer and waved them over to the table to get them away from the idiots. "Hey. Sit. Please. Before you get hurt." He gave them a pointed look. The demons pulled chairs over. "Getting an order or just out for dinner?"
"Dinner, Knight." The leader of the little group stared at him. "Why are you out of that safe house?"
"It was a day full of stupid. All the paperwork made *no* sense." They smiled at him. Xander got their dinners too. Someone came over to say something so Xander stared at them. "Are you bothering these nice beings?" he asked dryly. "Are you going to make me pull a sword on you?" The guy ran for his life after paying his bill. Xander rolled his eyes, making Harley giggle at that.
Christopher looked at him. "You need to let us pull weapons first," he reminded him patiently then grinned. "I don't want to be left out of the fun, Xander."
"I know. I'm bad at being guarded and I'm sorry I'm so bad at it. I know it makes it harder on you guys."
Harley snorted and flapped a hand. "Not really. You just react like one of us most of the time."
"I do. Maybe that's what everyone thinks I am." He grinned at the demons who were giggling at that. "Seriously, I snuck out the other night, went to the movies, and the only one who noticed was Bloodsport. No one had realized I left for three hours. Though I did have my phone with me. Patrick only checks on me every few hours and not overnight." He shrugged and smiled as his wings were brought. "Thank you, kind lady."
"You're welcome. Are you guys their people? The manager wanted to know in case there'd be a fight."
Xander pushed back his hair and shook his head with a grin. "Not even close. I'm Watchers Council. These guys are nicely always peaceful and great at talking about stuff that actually seems real."
She smiled. "So you're the local girl's trainer?"
"I work with the mini slayers, ma'am."
"Oh." She frowned. "With the president?" Xander grinned and nodded. "But...."
"We're under quiet orders to keep him out of view," Christopher told her quietly. She still looked confused.
"That is the president," Harley told her. The others nodded.
"Oh! Thank you for coming tonight, sir."
"I just needed out of the stupid and Harley said you guys made good food." He grinned. "Though I did run off the guy trying to start shit."
"Thank you for that too." She went to tell the manager, who made sure they had good service for the night. Xander did tip nicely and pay for everyone's dinner. The others threw in for the tip, which meant she got a great one. The president was really nice about stuff when she paused to make sure they didn't need more food. She'd put it up on her journal that night after work. Including how he had protected the pleasant demonic beings.
***
"Oh my fucking god!" Xander complained as he walked up a hallway.
"Only in a certain branch of Catholicism. They believe he married Mary Magdalen," Peacemaker said from his seat.
Xander looked at him oddly. "Not my faith of choice and there's plenty of Hellgods and Hellgoddesses who'd dispute that only them thing. My drunk uncle is alive!" He handed over the letter.
Peacemaker looked at it then at him. "Is he sober suddenly?"
"Supposedly. I thought the guy had died in Sunnydale with my parents when they refused to evacuate." He took the letter back. "I'm wondering who dried him out finally and why." He went to his office, calling in Patrick. "My drunken uncle, he of the 33 DUI's before Sunnydale fell in, and I don't know how many afterwards, is apparently sober enough to realize his nephew is still alive." He let him see that letter.
"Are you thinking he's going to try to blackmail you?"
"Not like he has anything to do that with." Xander looked confused. "What do you think I've done that he could do that?"
"He might not have known about some of your battle things. Like the one where you had to give mercy to one of the slayers before she was eaten."
Xander nodded. "That's true. I have no idea who dried him out or why. I'd expect talking heads to start on the news though."
"I'll be on the lookout for that, Sir." He stared at him. "Parents?"
"Refused to evacuate Sunnydale. I thought he was with them actually. I went to talk to them and they denied it so they could go back to watching wrestling." Peacemaker snorted at that, shaking his head but he was smiling. "Willow and I used to have a zombie pact: I'd take out her zombied parents and she'd take out mine. Though hers have been on the news recently. They finally reappeared after years."
"Those two shrinks you were snorting about?" Peacemaker asked. Xander nodded. "Oh, charming for them."
"They're hypocrites of the highest order. They tried to burn their daughter at the stake and didn't even apologize."
"My dad would've loved to meet her parents. Or yours probably."
Xander stared at him. "I'd beat your dad for being who he was," he said bluntly. The other guy winced. "Not like mine were better, they were just too drunk to do anything else." He looked at his assistant. "Let me know if the talking heads get annoying again. Three of the biggest ten have soul debts and I can have that outed."
Patrick nodded. "That's fine. They probably wouldn't want to call them early?"
"Probably not. Them gaining status and attention gives them better minion status."
"Huh." He nodded, going to pass that along. And about Xander's uncle.
"You knew?"
"Yeah. The racist asshole we had who wanted to be a watcher looked up to him." That got an eyeroll. "Exactly. And I beat him pretty badly for trying to turn the girls to that ideology." He grinned. "If my parents show up, feed them to something. They'd probably appreciate that more than they do me."
"You really do belong on the Squad sometimes, Xander."
"I try," he quipped. "Sometimes." He heard a squeal and grinned at Harley as she led in the minis. "Have you seen Willow's parents being talking heads?" He hugged his minis. "Hey, guys. In for training?" They nodded. "We can do that."
"Which talking head?" Harley asked.
"Rosenburgs," Peacemaker said with a grin for her.
"That explains a lot about Willow and her pushing for control." She smiled. "That so figures. Oh, hold on, you're one of the boys that their books talked about ruining her daughter's future?"
"Yes I was," he quipped. Then he grinned. Harley moaned at that. "I sued them over that actually." She giggled, taking the girls to get some milk and then go stretch in the gym with Rick for now. He was taking out some frustration on a heavy bag instead of a congress member. Xander and Peacemaker followed, going to help the girls with their self defense lessons for the week. He'd show them the grip strength squeezy ball practice too so that got improved before they needed to hold a weapon.
The girls watched Rick beat the heavy bag then two walked over to hug his thighs, staring up at him. "Were there naughty people or dumb ones?" the one on the left asked.
"Because you should yell at the stupid ones instead of holding it inside. They never like us either," the one on the right said with a smile.
"Someone in congress was really dumb," he told them. They gave him a cuddle and then went to put their glasses down in the pile once they were empty. Sidra turned one back rightside up so it didn't drip on the floor and used her shirt to clean up the tiny mess. Harley got it for her and she beamed but went back to lining up.
"Thank you for not making more work for the cleaner, Sidra. We can get you paper towels if you want." Rick looked at them then at the other adults. "Let's see, what're we doing today, ladies?"
Sidra bounced and beamed, waving her hands in the air. "Pouncy bad guy time?"
"Blocking," Xander said as he walked in. "Then you guys can chase someone around the yard to pounce. We'll take volunteers." The Secret Service guards all seemed to vanish because they had seen the girls doing that about once a month. He grinned at Rick. "Let's work on how you block the stupid ones that try to hit you, girls."
They let him show them by bringing each one out to work with her. Then the group got to practice on each other. Xander looked around and all the remaining people all shook their heads, including Rick. "Isn't that other Harris on the shitlist?"
"Yup," Rick said happily. He got him summoned. When he came in all the girls stared at him. He backed away slowly. "You're their target, Harris. Go for it." He ran off. The girls looked so determined as they followed him outside to the garden area. The others went to watch how they did this time. They were older and fiercer. And a bit faster usually too.
A few of the guards tried to interrupt their hunting practice but the girls sidelined them and continued on their target. One had gotten handcuffs from Harley and used them very well, making her giggle. Rick nudged her with a nod. "Yours, Harley?"
"Hey, Huntress," Xander called with a wave. "Want chased by the minis?"
"Not really. I'm not that fast." She came in to grab one and point. "He keeps dodging to the right. Try blocking him off." She nodded, going to tell the others so they could do that. She grinned at Xander, who gave her a hug, then at Harley, who gave her another hug. The girls finally won. "Wow. They tied him up nicely."
Xander looked then checked his watch. "Good job, ladies. Thirty minutes! Faster than last time's by five!" They cheered. "Take your glasses back to the kitchen and ask *politely* for a snack? Then we'll go over school stuff." They groaned but did that. He grinned at the guard. "Thanks!"
"Welcome, Sir," he moaned as he got let free by Bloodsport, who was shaking his head but smiling. "They're fierce, sir. Very good future slayers."
"Yeah they are." He nodded, walking off to follow the girls to the office to go over homework things.
Harley looked at her gal pal. "What's wrong?"
"People are saying you're back in Gotham."
"No, I've been stuck in DC or Louisiana. Haven't been home in a bit. How's my Brucie?"
"He's great. A bit older now." Harley sighed but nodded. "I can bring him here if you want."
"I wouldn't mind. Not like I can pet the Rick or anyone else."
"You can flirt with Xander anytime you want," Rick said dryly, heading inside. The others followed him to go back to sparring now that they didn't have the kids helping. Harley stayed to talk to her buddy about things so she could stop someone using her rep. Or stomp them maybe. If Rick let her go back to Gotham for a few days.
***
This Was Not What I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up!