Xander dragged Andrew, Faith, and Buffy into the office and shut them in. "It'll affect us four the most," he told Giles. "Because Willow's talking about how to have a baby someday soon. She's picking out sperm donors."
"That's good for her though," Giles said.
Buffy winced. "I'm kinda okay with that."
Faith shook her head and so did Andrew. "She's abused the hell out of us. Do we think she won't spell someone because they piss the kid off? Or her about her kid?"
"Did you never meet her mother?" Andrew asked Buffy. Who nodded. "She's already a lighter version of that. And I hate to note it but she did snap at me yesterday for daring to float pots." Buffy winced.
Xander nodded. "She'd have to stay off magic the whole pregnancy too probably."
Giles took off his glasses. "There are ways of handling pregnant witches," he said. "The coven could help."
All four younger people stared at him. "They don't even do anything when she does something major," Buffy said quietly. Andrew put up something to make sure Willow couldn't hear. "The last time she turned some of the protestors into kittens and couldn't find them all? They just sighed, Giles."
"And that's major magic, not growing herbs to help the morning sickness," Xander said. "If she could time it right, it'd be okay, but not her."
"It is not really our choice," Giles reminded them.
"Yeah, tell that to the fur I'm still shaving thanks to her last week. She thought it'd be *fun* to change me. Again. Against my will and without telling me. She was teaching one of the minis how. Thankfully I remembered that pain and got Andrew to block it for me." Andrew grinned so Xander swatted him on the arm. "Doesn't the coven get on you for being a guy with magic?"
"Yeah. I threatened them with scientific horrors of the universe." He looked at Giles. "Think about what she'll do during a mood swing, Giles."
"I'll talk to her about it. I can see if she's considered certain implications, like nine months without magic."
"Giles, newborns fuss, a lot," Buffy said. "I'm a bit worried thinking what she'll do with the baby's colicy times when it won't sleep for days on end."
Xander nodded. "And we'll be the one she takes that out on. I can also tell you that a lot of the girls won't be in this house if she goes that way. They've got fleeing from her plans." Giles winced, slumping some but nodding. "And the old liners were making plots about having her sterilized.
"That's one of their problems they were plotting the other day. Along with adding some sort of contraceptive to the slayer's meals so they can't ever have one." He stared at the older man who was probably close to what a father should be for him. "And if she does get knocked up, I'm fleeing for my life and going somewhere magic cannot find me. Ever."
"I understand that," he decided. "You have born the brunt of her temper in the past, Xander. Three of the four of you really." Buffy nodded that was true, she was a best friend, not Willow's target the way the others were. "I will talk to her about practical matters and then nag the others about that issue as well."
"At least she's not going out to bars and being risky," Faith said.
Xander looked at her. "I have no idea why none of us noted one day two months ago." Andrew frowned and looked at his online journal. He wrote down the day's details every day. "You're missing two months ago, on a Saturday?"
"I am," he said with a frown. "And the next day was written I had a headache so I was in bed all day."
"You did?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah, the next night was that beef dish no one liked." He grimaced but put his phone back in his pocket. "So most people may be missing two days, not one."
Xander nodded. "Could be." They stared at Giles. They got it more than Faith did.
"I will speak with her. If that is her choice we will support her and help you four survive." They sighed but left it with him. He went up to talk to Willow, tapping gently on her door. "May we speak, Willow?"
"Sure. I know I freaked out Xander when he caught me looking at sperm donor sites."
"He did have a few good points." He shut the door and sat down on her bed, facing her since she was at her desk. "What's your thinking on this matter?"
"I thought it was about time to have a kid to follow me. Someone I can depend on."
"Yes, but children would depend on you, not you on them." She looked confused. "Willow, did your mother use you as a therapist?"
"No."
"Yet, most children use their parents that way. Good parents keep communication open so they can help their children as they grow up." He took off his glasses. "They talk about things that are important and not. Your child won't be the one you depend on, you'll be the one they depend on." He stared at her. "There's also the issue of magic while pregnant."
"Witches can do magic."
"Yes but it's simple things like healing and growing spells, and healing humans is not part of that actually, just plants or not very injured animals. Simple, non-tiring spells." Willow winced and grimaced at that. "Xander and Andrew both noted that you've been doing bigger spells again and if you were pregnant that would have to end before it forced you to miscarry when you use the baby's energy."
She slumped but nodded at that. "Most witches do very little magic during their pregnancy because it can actually attune the baby to it. Some light things will still do the same thing but the baby you would have with the way you use magic would be heavily contaminated I'm afraid.
"Your hellmouth taint, and the powers that drain through you daily, would destroy the infant." She bit her lip and nodded. "Also, do note that we do not like how you seem to take your bad moods out by abusing Xander and Andrew, and sometimes Faith." He stared at her. "That should stop immediately."
"I do not abuse them!"
"Willow, Xander's complained that you tried to change him again the other day. That is abusive."
"I was teaching Willia how to do it!"
"She doesn't need to know," he said firmly. "And I doubt her mother would like that spell being taught to her. Also, it's wrong to do that to someone without asking their permission unless it's a matter of your safety." She opened her mouth. He held up a hand. "That is the definition of abusive, Willow. It truly is. The same as you've attacked Andrew again for daring to use the same skills you have and use because he's male."
"He's not anywhere near the spells I do."
"He doesn't push himself the way you do," he said blandly, staring at her. "He has enough power to do what you've done but he does not wish to. He's rather more enamored of science things most of the time." He put back on his glasses. "If you should have a child, we would have to guard against the same problems with them when they're cranky and fussy. As someone pointed out, babies get colic and cry for days on end because their stomachs are upset."
"I can fix that with a calming spell. Matrise said she did."
"Matrise is a healer," he said. "You are not. That is not where your talents lie, Willow. You've never done a healing spell correctly. It's helped some in emergencies, but most of the time you try one without it being an emergency you manage to bollix it up so hard it becomes harmful. Like with Sidra's arm."
She winced at that reminder. "You would not be allowed to magic the baby at all. Also, I would demand that you take parenting classes. Because your parents were not decent at it. The same as I would be demanding Xander took some if I found out he was expecting."
"We're nothing like our parents!" she said loudly, getting up to pace. "I haven't complained to any school board yet or anything, Giles."
"Willow, you are very much like your mother from what I've seen of her. The way you complain, the thought process that makes you think you're always right and no one else can be, all that came from her." She paused to stare at him. He nodded, standing up. "I adore you as a child I helped blossom into this young woman you are now," he said gently.
"But I must be honest at the same time. Your skills with nurturing are not exactly the highest rated. You ignored the whole nursery needing things one night when you stood watch over them. You forgot to feed them, clean them, or anything, for nine hours straight, even though they were crying."
"I cast a silencing spell so no one else could hear them. And there were five of them."
"Even when it was just one of them screaming for something you ignored it." He stared down at her. "You're a charming girl and I think of you like a daughter, Willow, but you are not maternal. What happens when your child irritates you? Will Xander have to take the baby to hidden areas to hide it from you like we did Dawn for a few weeks because she was having a problem and getting upset by it?" She got free of him.
He stared at her. "It's an honest question. There's many things you must think about before you decide to purchase the donor sperm you're looking at. And if it's already too late, as we've now realized you erased our memories of a few days, then you will be going to the coven tonight. That way they can make sure your magic does not harm that precious little life you carry."
"You wouldn't be doing this if it was Buffy."
"Buffy is much more nurturing than you are, Willow. She stepped up to be a big sister the younger slayers, she and Faith both. You barely stand them at dinner. If she wished a child, we'd arrange things and make sure she got parenting classes. She took some of her own free will when she got overwhelmed by the minis.
"She goes to a support group for mothers of multiple children actually. That way she has a parent with experience she can talk to if she needs to. Faith knows a few locally and they help her when the minis give her hell for too long.
"Frankly, one of them suggested beating the living hell out of a few of them and Faith denied it. Buffy considered it but then decided to make them sorry in other, less harmful manners. Including all that extra sparring practice Xander was handing out to them for their issues.
"Xander goes to a bar where a few experienced fathers he can lean on can give advice. They realize when he's in there it's the girls driving him batty again." He stared at her. "You must heal from what your own mother did in your life before you perpetuate it into their generation."
"I won't be going on speaking tours!"
"No, you'll be traveling to other houses, doing some studying here and there, and back and forth to Devon. Which would mean the child would need a second parent to watch out for them. I do not truly mind you going through IVF for that, Willow, or even having an accident some night, but the very thought of you having a child, or attempting to have a child, would set the other watchers to try to harm you for it.
"They've apparently expressed an opinion that they want to sterilize you just in case." She glared. "Exactly. There are things that must be figured out. And if you are pregnant, you can figure them out with the coven. If not, you have time to consider options and answers to those questions.
"Including how you'll pay for it as the insurance won't cover IVF treatments. It would cover pregnancy but not IVF." He stared down at her. "If you wish to think about having a child, I want you to come to me with a list of how things will need to change with your duties to allow you to care for the child."
"I can do the same job."
"You cannot take a child on patrol, Willow," he sighed. "None of the girls may. If you sat in the library just researching all day you could bring the child with you and go with them when it was an emergency so they were safe. A child will change your priorities, as they should."
"I can still help the girls even if I was pregnant."
"No you could not. Magic on that level would kill the child. It'd be sacrificed to power the spell. It'd go first, before your personal stores. We've seen it happen a number of times, intentionally and not. If you ask Matrise, she'll tell you that. Or Belinda." He patted her on the cheek. "I want you to think on what you'd need to do and then come to me before you make such a decision, Willow. That way we make sure you'll both be safe. Now, is this an immediate flight to England tonight situation or not?"
"No!" She huffed. "I just thought I wanted someone to depend on."
"And yet, a child won't do that job for you. It would need to depend on you, not you on it." She sat down with a pout. "If you truly wish a child, we can work things out. We'll go over the precautions you'll need and all that. We can schedule you parenting classes within days of you finding out. Or before if you wish to take them sooner."
She looked at him. "It's not a bad idea. You do deal with children all day long. The same as I'd have to get on the library team for thinking that was the staff's job to handle, and have in the past. I made a few of them take those lessons as well and they failed miserably."
She nodded. "I'll think about that too."
"Good girl. Come to me to talk about these things. We can help you go through the decision making process and point out where you haven't seen an issue, like we don't have a nursing area set up right now." She grimaced, looking disgusted. "Well, we would expect you'd want somewhere to feed the baby, Willow."
"I'd use formula."
He nodded. "Which is a fine choice as well but that would still be a good area to quietly and calmly sit and feed them."
"My daughter would be fine with the other slayers watching her eat."
"And if you had a son?" She went pale. "Please tell me you're not already pregnant, Willow." She shook her head. "Go take a test?"
"I did last month. That's what got me thinking." She huffed. "I should complain at Xander for telling you about all this."
"I should have heard from you," he reminded her. "Such big decisions can impact the girls here." She nodded with a grimace, waving a hand. "Fine. Come talk to me later if you need help with the decision making process or ideas on how to handle probable issues." He left her to think and had the coven put up protections around Xander and Andrew again so anything Willow did would flash back onto her instead.
He wouldn't tell the old biddies that she was thinking about getting pregnant. They'd probably make sure she could never do that. He gathered the old watchers after dinner, staring at them. "Stop plotting, people. Permanently. I've talked to Willow about her ideas about becoming a mother." They all winced but he smiled.
"I have inserted some reality and suggested some things that may need to happen. Including that she would be no magic while pregnant." They nodded. "Also, quit plotting to keep the girls on birth control. Most of them are already on that because it ends their cycles for a few months at a time. Plus how she would need parenting classes. As I believe many of you could use as well."
He gave a few a pointed look. "You're always peeved with the girls needing things but they are children and need things to grow up healthy and happier than any of us did. Social Services did want us to mandate anyone who had constant contact with the children to take parenting classes but so far we've avoided a lot of that. They found experienced parents to help with that sort of problem."
"We can ease up on the girls," one said.
"The one you glared at for daring to cry at a scraped knee?" Giles reminded him.
"Oh, that. Well, it was annoying."
"Yes, and a simple hug and bit of tissue blotting would've cured it. Faith managed it. Why could you not?"
"I..." He sighed. "That's a point. Most of us are not very paternal towards the girls. Getting close to them means that someday we'll have to watch a child we actually liked dying."
Giles nodded. "We've all faced that. I face it nightly with Buffy and the others. Being cold and impersonal won't help that any. If one of them died tomorrow, you'd still feel it."
"I can agree with that. Many of us were raised in the kitchen by the staff and the nanny."
Giles nodded. "So was I. Thankfully she was a wonderful woman who taught me to care about others." They nodded they realized that problem. "But they are young women and we'll have a lot more showing up some year when the ones at home need training or the future slayers need training and show up here.
"Years of girls rotating in and out of the house. Most of us won't really retire because we have no sense, but we'll die here somehow helping the girls as is our duty." They nodded they knew that. "So quit plotting and do become a bit more uncleish at least if you can. You're making it harder on the girls and yourselves."
They nodded. Another one cleared his throat. "Is Rosenburg pregnant?"
"No. She's thinking and was caught looking at donor sperm sites."
"Oh, dear." He shared a look with the others then at him. "We've been sneaking her contraceptive spells monthly, Rupert. We did not want to see the horrors she'd unleash during a mood swing. The coven's been helping us."
"I'm aware of the coven trying that and so is she. She's avoided it plenty of times." They whined. "And do stop that. That's a decision for her to make. Though if does end up pregnant she'll be going to the coven immediately or some other place that will help her and support her. She's already been told it was to be low magical use while she was up the duff, and why. Do pull that book for her?"
The head librarian nodded he could do that. "Plus with some other issues she'd have to think about first. Things like colic." They looked confused. "That's the crying all day and night for days due to a stomachache thing." That got a mass nod then a mass shudder. "Exactly. Xander was worried about what she'd do to him and Andrew if she had mood swings."
He looked around again. "Quit with that spell. Quit plotting completely. The girls deserve to be happy, healthy young women and if they want a family some day they'll take the precautions they need to. All we can do is be supportive of their decisions. Frankly, I'm shocked we haven't had a teenage pregnancy yet."
"Um, I think Harris had a talk with her and helped her figure out what to do," one said. "Though she's had another one recently."
"I'll talk to him later." He looked at them. "Do be nicer to the young ones especially. They don't have a family either." He waved a hand. "Go." They left. "Xander?" he called. He leaned in a minute later. "We have a pregnant slayer?"
"We have three pregnant slayers if I'm honest about it and including the ones who're at home. Why?"
"Did one have an early one terminated?"
"No, I caught her miscarrying. She wasn't aware that there were things she could do to handle that so she bought the drug online." Giles sighed but nodded. "It was the King of teenage Pregnancies, Budweiser. We had a long talk that night. She decided last year she wanted to have her kid early so she figured out how. And told me.
"I pointed out her age, she should be out of college, all that. But Missy knows her own mind. I made her make plans, including things like how to pay a babysitter who wasn't another slayer. She went over a lot of the ideas and I took her to the parents I go to for advice to talk about it first. They agreed she had ideas and they weren't *bad* but they all noted her age. She pointed out slayers didn't last to be forty usually so she had to do it sooner instead of later."
"Has she seen anyone?"
"Yeah. She goes to all her prenatal exams. She's got an OB in town at that one clinic that likes us. I made damn sure she had one in case the slayer stuff caused a problem or she got into another fight at school. She's due just after graduation."
"I wish I had known."
"She told you she was going home to her parent's farm."
"Oh, yes she did. All right." He rubbed his forehead. "The other two?"
"Talia and Maggie?"
"Both at home, both settled down, both able to be backed up easily by girls nearby," he said. "Did they plan it?"
"Maggie did. She talked to the local girls first. One asked me about appropriate baby gifts so I talked to Maggie to make sure she was safe and didn't need help, or could find it if she needed it or come running back here if she needed to."
"That's reasonable and I applaud that. In the future, if they're in the house I wish to know. Or if they're on patrol status."
"No, the talk I had with the girls, and I have it every year about that stuff and personal responsibility and the risks of clubbing and drinking and stuff, that point was pushed. The minute you pop up a plus sign on that test, you're off rotation until at least six months after birth.
"No arguing, no begging will change that. Not even if it's an apocalypse. The girls know they've got a right to a real life but they also know that there's some common sense things in there that have to be handled as well. That's the biggest one."
"Have we had others I wasn't aware of?"
"Yeah. Two that I know of had abortions." He nodded a bit. "One I drove to her appointment and held her hand afterwards. The other went with one of the senior girls. I think Kennedy."
"That's fine. I'll gladly help them with that as well if they want me to."
"I'll let them know when I have the next talk about common sense things."
"Thank you." He sighed. "You handle it fairly well."
"I'm just running the other way from what my own parents did, and Willow's parents too." He walked off looking happier. He hugged that girl when he found her. "Go talk to Giles. He just found out."
She nodded, going to talk to him. She expected him to notice it sooner. She was starting to show.
Buffy grinned. "She's got good plans. She was worrying about a few things."
"I only worry if her parents don't know," Xander quipped. He went to get something to nibble and check the house's security system. He got Andrew to help him check a spot that was reading off. They found someone waiting and handled it then called in someone to get the idiots. And an ambulance to get the two girls they had knocked out. Giles came storming out to see what had happened but Xander waved a hand. "They're just knocked out, Giles." He nodded at that. "We stopped 'em. Andrew helped a lot."
"Chemistry can win many arguments," Andrew said happily.
"You're scary but in a good way," another of the girls said, giving him a hug and a pat. He smiled, going inside to calm himself down.
***
Xander stepped into the next battle shaking his head. "I don't do this to save people who hate me," he reminded himself in a mutter. "But they don't deserve to die so the rest of us do too." He shot a demon and ducked another's swing, taking a swing back with his axe. Which he lost a few minutes later to it sticking in a body.
He pulled off his backup axe and took another swing at another demon. "Just die already!" he shouted. "Damn! I had things to do today! My new comics are in!" The demon huffed but tried to take his head off again so Xander repaid it. "Someone get my axe free please!" he called when more people showed up.
"Sure, Harris," Flag called back. He found it and used it a few times then handed it over. "Bullets?"
"Beheading somehow. Doesn't matter how." He looked at him then they both ducked. "I told you to stop that, mother fucker. I meant it." He killed that one and moved on. "I do not like having to save people who hate me and the slayers, but if I don't take you out, others who're innocent will die too," he said in a sing-song as he worked.
"So unfortunately they're saved too." He killed another one and then something blew off the next one's head. "Fully behead," he called back. "Blow the head off the neck sort, not the brains out please!" Whoever nodded and tried it again on that same demon. It died this time.
"Thanks!" He went back to his duty, which he was cursing himself for. He took a swing up and got another demon's dick split, making it scream and die suddenly. "Those need castrated. The blue ones are blow anything above the nose off. I can't spot anything else different so just try to blow the head off if you do."
"Good to know," a male voice said.
Xander glanced over. "Peacemaker?"
"Knighthawk."
"Xander Harris, senior watcher in normal life. You?"
"Still Peacemaker, villain and part time good guy."
Xander nodded. "I'm about top five on a few realms thanks to days like this." He grinned and then ducked a blow and killed that demon before moving on. "Jump the fuck in, dude. Just don't hit on the slayers or I'll get you in the nuts again."
Peacemaker shook his head but he was smiling. "He temped at that fighting ring for stress relief," he quipped.
"Hell yes. I'm surrounded by girls all day. Especially teenage girls." He ducked Harley jumping him and pushed her aside then hit that demon. "Those red ones are poisonous to women," he said, handing her his backup sword.
"Oh, honey, I've got my own." She pulled out one so he took his backup back and let her get down to it. "The green ones we castrate?"
"Yup," he called. "Blow the head off the main ones. The blue just anything above the nose. Anything weird try that first and then yell if it doesn't work." She nodded, humming a merry tune as they took out huge demons trying to kill a bunch of senators they had hostage. "Great, it's the ones who hate everyone who fights demons, guys. They're here to complain."
"Yay," Flag called back. "I've been in many stupid places, but this is the worst yet."
"No, I've been in worse battles," Xander quipped. "I had two naked ones in Africa. Not fun with a sword."
Harley giggled. "You poor man sort."
"Yes I was. But they pulled me out of bed and wouldn't let me put on clothes. The other just thought clothes were our version of shells." He nodded and took out another one. He looked around. "Two last groups," he called with a point. "One behind the hostages, one coming in on the truck it looks like. But they could be peaceful."
"We can check," Flag ordered, passing that back to the military helping them. "The truck's peaceful," he called. "They're helping."
"If they want to, thank them for it," Xander called back, rushing for the other group. He took a running leap, something he had seen in a movie, and landed on top of the demon to kill it. Of course he got thrown off and winded from landing so hard but he got up and went back to it.
"I should practice that move more," he decided. He had the chance and cut one of the senator's free, handing over his belt knife. "Free them, then run like hell." She nodded, doing that. He went back to it, nodding at Flag. "Thanks for the help."
"Where's DC's slayer?" he called.
"Sixteen, has mono, and is swearing in her closet where her mom locked her."
"Great. Poor kid. Not her job yet anyway." He beat another few and Xander got another. His team blew off the head of the last one and he relaxed. "Finally!" he sighed.
Xander was leaning down to catch his breath, holding onto his axe. "Fuck, I hate battles." He straightened up and glared at the military guy trying to take his axe. "Private property, boy. Move it. I'm Council." The guy backed off, hands up. "Thank you." He took his knife back from someone.
"Thank you for that as well. Silver stripes on the blade cost a ton. I hate to replace that one again." He tucked it back where it went. He took off his shirt to clean off his axe head and then his backup axe. His backup sword only got a gentle swipe because his shirt was too messy to do a good job. "Okay. Let me fade into the atmosphere."
"C'mon, we're heading uptown. You can run from there," Flag said, hauling him with the team.
"Okay, thanks for the ride. I'm at the Hilton so anywhere near there please." They nodded, dropping him off nearby. "Have fun, guys. Thanks for the help," he said as he got out and walked inside. The desk check in girl gave him a horrified look. "Sorry, I really need a shower. There was a demon battle."
"Are you checked in here, sir?"
"Harris, Council."
"Oh! Okay. I'll send the maid up to bring more little soaps?"
"Please. They smell really nice!" He grinned, getting onto the elevator to go take the much needed shower. He was sweaty underneath the blood and goo on him. He came out to find agents going through his stuff and his axe missing so he summoned it back with the charm and stared at them as he put it onto his necklace. "Howdy. Problems?"
"Mr. Harris, why weren't we warned about a battle in downtown DC?"
"I did. When I heard, I warned you guys and put it on twitter on our official channel. I called 911 to warn them too. It's not my fault no one passed on my message to you guys." He got into his phone to show the call log. "See, right there. All called, everyone we're supposed to notify in any city."
The agent took down the numbers and times with a huff. "They did not tell us."
Xander nodded. "That happens a lot. Then I get blamed for having a battle that I just fought, instead of summoning it or creating it, and then people decide to ignore things. Right now, some conservative politician is screaming on some news program that we had a battle that saved some of his coworkers. I've narrowed that list down to three but one was one of the hostages so probably not him.
"Or he's complaining that we freed him. One of the two." He grabbed some clothes to put on. "Anything else you guys wanna talk about today? Since the battle lasted for two hours and your building was only four blocks away yet no agents stepped in to help?" He grinned sweetly.
"I don't like that implication."
"Then, dude, where were you earlier? The battle was two hours long."
"We went into lockdown. That's the military's job."
"And they showed up. We really could've used a few agents to sneak over to free the hostages at least. Or blow up the propane they brought with them to cook the hostages after they sacrificed them because their higher being would want them cooked."
The agents all shuddered. "Jump the fuck in, dude. We enjoy it and we allow anyone to jump in, even if it's their first fight with a sword. We do expect them to not bother the girls if they're at the battle too, but otherwise we welcome any help during battles."
The agents huffed off. Xander was missing a few things and summoned them back by calling Willow to summon them home. She got all but his journal, which he got back specifically. Then he checked out and took some of the soaps home. It was nice to find good smelling soaps that covered demon stink.
***
Rick Flag walked into the women's changing area and backed Harley against a wall. "Are you a slayer?" he asked, staring down at her.
"No." She grinned. "My foster mom was though. She aged out. I used to workout with her in case we were attacked. She was my foster mom for about eight months."
He blinked a few times. "So you did some training."
"Yeah." She nodded. "That's how I know how to handle a sword." She grinned. "Are you trying to look scary?"
"No." He backed off. "Intimidating maybe." He stared at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's need-to-know," she snorted. "The ex found out and that's why he used to bring vampires in to torture so I could stake something now and then." She slid into her shorts and pulled her hair back up. "But that's all in the past now."
"Uh-huh." He stared at her. "Take more training?"
"If I want to." She strolled past him. "Later, Ricky. Gotta go clean the crud out from under my nails."
He huffed, going to make the note that one of her foster mothers had taught her a bit about sword work in her file. Just in case. He settled in to watch the news coverage of the battle. Harris was clearly tired by the time they got there. Politicians were thanking him for saving them, hoping the slayer that was sick got better soon, and hoped that never happened again. A few wondered about the grill so called the Council to ask.
Giles' statement was blunt about all that and their girl at home in DC being sixteen meant she wasn't on unless the apocalypse battle was going to take her or her family out. They had others to cover until she finished growing up. The fact that the demons were going to sacrifice those ones then cook them grossed out everyone and they never mentioned it again that night.
Flag shook his head, turning it off to go home and rest. He hated battles like that. He had no idea why or how that kid did it.
***
The next time the Squad ran into the Council, outside a few of Xander's ex's being taken out by them, it was a few years later. An invasion again but bigger than the one in LA had been. This one was going to take down the east coast. Other heros were helping in their own areas. The girls were helping where they were stationed.
Xander had been sent to lead a small group of normal guys who had taken training, and a few agents, against the held back group of demons. If they could get them down they could stop the portals. Of course, they had more on hand so it was a losing position to try so bluntly. And Xander realized that, he told the guys that.
He gave them all some explosives they could set off if they made it near the portal. They all agreed this sucked and if they died, they'd meet up for beers in the afterlife. Of course, it was one of the worst battles in the US right now. Nearly unlimited fresh backup forces and they had to fight them to get three hundred feet to a portal. They had picked a good spot to put the master portal.
Xander was almost the last one. One of the guys had decided to take out a group of demons by blowing himself up with them. Xander was about to do that. He tossed his explosives pack to another guy and he lobbed it into the portal after starting it. It damaged it at least. Xander was down to a last resort. Though he had a bad idea. "I need a knife," he called. "Right now."
"Going to stab yourself?" a demon snorted happily. "It figures, Knight."
"Not exactly but yeah." One landed next to him so he used it to cut open his arm and pull out the hidden thing. "Sorry, dudes," he called. "Really sorry."
"Set it off!" someone shouted. "If we die, fine!"
"Five hundred yards," he shouted. Then he armed that device and threw it at the portal. He ran, bringing the others with him. The bomb went off, vaporizing the portal and half the area on the other side of the main portal. Xander slumped, staring at it. "Bite me and die from it," he muttered. He took his arm from the guy next to him. He looked at him. "Aren't you guys working near the prison or something?"
"New Orleans was finished," he admitted. "We just landed here. You good, Harris?"
"No. And anyone exposed to anything from that, I'm really sorry about your future of blood tests." He looked at his remaining guys. "I've been exposed to bio germs. Sorry."
"No, it was necessary. How did you get an atomic weapon?"
"I gave a really nasty blow job to knock the idiot out then stole it." He grinned. "Kinda necessary." He stared at the spot, triggering his phone's earbud. "It's Xander, the main portal is down. I repeat it is down. I had to use the present I got from Maya's big brother sort." He hung up. Then he sighed. "How many more battles?"
"Too many," Rick complained. "Let's get you guys to medical." Xander nodded, shooing his guys with him. "Test Harris' blood for the biogerms he's been exposed to."
Xander wrote down a number then looked at the paramedic. "You'll need someone with MI-5 or 6 access to get into that. It's the full bloodwork as of sixteen months ago," he said quietly. "Including things I got from ghosts." The paramedic nodded, calling that in. "It'll only relate here. It shouldn't have blown through the slave portals."
"Only two got a bit of radiation but not more than an x-ray worth," the paramedic reported. Xander sighed and nodded, taking the bandage to use for his arm. "Sir, we can take you to get stitches."
Xander shook his head. "No thank you. Sorry but no. Take good care of the rest of the team please." He called in again. "Send me to the next one I need to hit," he ordered.
"Harris, at least get a drink," Flag ordered.
"I'm good. I don't need to pee in the middle of the battle." The witches removed him. He looked at the mess then nodded. "Weapons?"
"They're out."
"Bullshit. There's a military base nearby." He stared then nodded once. "Fuck it." He called Andrew. "I need that tinkering project of yours please. Right now. Gotham. This portal's not down." He got sent it and looked then nodded and used the laser cannon to blow up the portal, heading down to handle the stupid demons. A lot easier to use than his axe right now.
Someone tried to hit him so he glared. "Dude, unless you're willing to die, go hit a demon instead." The being tried to hit him again so he shot him on the leg with the cannon, making him fall down screaming. "Good. I don't think this sort of stupid should survive or breed." He kept going, getting a ride with an officer to the main battle area.
"Fuck me, did another portal open?" The heros looked at him and one nodded. "Castrate the green ones. Behead most of the rest. The silvery ones take hydrogen peroxide on any cuts to keep them from growing back," he called. "Which sucks in the middle of a battle." He went back to blowing things away with the laser cannon. He got a main group burned and then blew up the portal they were trying to form. "No, thanks anyway," he called with a smirk and a wave.
"Shit, Knight!" one shouted.
"Yeah and if you owe me poker debts I want them equaled in weapons, right now if possible."
"Not likely!" that voice called back. "Let us help!"
Xander looked over. "Jump the fuck in!" He waved his free hand. "Please!" They jumped in and fought. One did kick a hero out of his way but he beheaded that demon. Xander blew up more of them. Someone did manage to open another portal and Xander grimaced. Andrew called and said to throw the cannon into it, he'd set off the self destruct.
"People, move, we're going with an Andrew plan!" He let the lead demon throw the gun into the portal, he was closer and had better aim. Andrew set it off and they all got blown back by the wave of energy but it ended that portal, and maybe that realm too. "Hey, cool. Thanks, 'Drew!" he called with a wave at the cameras.
He dove in with a sword, handling the problem with the demons for now. The heros were tired. So was he, but it had to happen. His phone activated. "Huge sitch?" he asked. He paused then killed that demon and nodded. "Send me. I can back up Faith and the girls." He tugged a few demons over.
"Send us all. Thanks, Matrise." He looked at the demons as they disappeared. Another one got sent by the local community there but they were a healer. He stared. "This just had to happen today?" he demanded. "They couldn't wait until we were healing and sore and tired?" He picked up the artillery and used it with the girls guarding him with the demon fighters. "Fuck it, someone strike it, we'll fall back."
"Can't," a military person called. "Local base won't."
"Bullshit," Faith called. "Either they help or they're a victim."
"They've locked that base down."
"Is there only one base in this country?" Xander demanded. "We're near New York, get West Point's group! Or New Jersey, Connecticut's, whatever! That's going to take a higher level of weapon than a sword or a minor RPG system. A patriot missile maybe but not an RPG or a grenade."
"That's what we said," Faith called.
"Faith, you and the girls fall back. Guard the civies." She nodded. "Demon teams, do the same thing. Let's find a higher level weapon." They nodded, doing that. They got the injured out of the way thanks to some local covens floating them out to paramedics waiting on the edge of the battle area.
"Fuck!" The guy was trying to call in other military help. He looked up. "Connect me to Flag," he ordered quietly, stomping over there. "Task Force X. Someone on them." The guy got them connected through their switchboard. "It's Harris. The one by New York needs military level weapons, probably higher than a Patriot.
"No base locally will come help. Can you call someone please? Thanks, Harley." He hung up and looked at what they had. "Okay, let's lego this sucker." He got Andrew sent to him and they tinkered with the weapons while the extra large demon, who was a hellspawn, laughed at them.
***
Harley hung up. "Flag, call someone for Harris in New York. They need at least something Patriot sized and no one's helping. All bases are locked down."
He stared at her. "I'm only a colonel," he said. "But yeah, let me try." He called his father. "I know you don't want to hear from me but New York needs immediate military level help and they're denying they're military soldiers, Dad. I don't care how. Harris said larger than a Patriot. Thanks." He hung up. "He'll try." He swallowed some more water as he looked around. "We don't have any here either."
She nodded. "At ours either."
"There were some coming in."
"That was the evac squad," she said, walking over. "Someone needs a head suctioning job."
"Yeah, a lot." They shared a look. "If we had that sort of weapons...." His father called back and said they had a base in Virginia sending up a jet with a bomb. He called that in to Harris, who warned everyone to evacuate the area first. They were pretty accurate but could miss a target by a few feet.
He heard it when the demon up there got exploded. The bomb had hit its head and blown it up. People were injured but they'd probably survive. Flag slumped but nodded, sending out a 'we survived' notice so they could evacuate the squad and others.
This was going to be messy in a few days.
***
"Mr. Harris," the congress person sneered. "Who are you to order anything military?"
"I think I'm the guy that was handling it when your military guys were cowering under their beds and sucking their thumbs," he said bluntly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a funeral to attend." He got up and walked out.
"Stop him!"
A guard tried and Xander stared at him until he got out of the way. Xander looked back at the senator. "You had me pulled here to talk to your selfish, whoring little group of morons. Next time, you fight it and save yourself. Because I've lost all hope that humanity should survive after the other day." He walked out, letting the door slam behind him.
"The nerve!" the senator shouted.
The Vice President looked at him. "I would've shot you for that insulting question. Now, let's see why the military didn't respond to the mass invasion of the country. Which is why we're actually here before you had him pulled from his duty to his trainees." They glared at her and one shrank away from her. "Now please." She looked at the waiting generals, who came up. "Do you have an answer for that?"
"No, ma'am," one said. "We tried to send out people. Most of the bases were locked down by local orders, not Pentagon orders. The only ones locked by Pentagon orders were two bases that had scientific things going on. They're not soldiers and could only defend themselves."
"Then why did they lock down?" the senator asked.
"Because someone's a thumb sucking coward," the general said bluntly. "I agree with Harris about that. I have some questions for him myself, like how he got a damn nuke into Georgia. And why he had a nuke."
"He had a what?" the VP demanded.
"It was the last ditch, we'll all die but the main portal had to go down event," the head of the Air Force said. "Tactically it was the last move he could make and he was at that point by what we've heard. They gave him some locals who had trained, a few of which were agents, and gave them explosives if any of them made it near the portal to blow it up.
"It was a suicide run that had to be won. He was down to a few of his guys after a few hours and took his last shot. Which worked. Fortunately it was a small yield and blew up on that side of the portal. Almost no radiation spew back on this side or out of most of the other portals. A few reported x-ray level radiation for a few seconds."
The VP stared at him. "Why didn't he use it sooner?"
"Because you fight with the hope you'll make it," the head of the Marines said. "I would've made that call about ten minutes sooner. If the local base had helped any at all, he wouldn't have had to make that call." The other generals all nodded. "He probably didn't expect to survive that but he did manage to get far enough away. It wasn't super high yield. One of the agents said he called a five hundred yard run away from the explosion."
The VP slumped. "Then what happened?"
"The witches moved him to Gotham for their battle. Somehow he had a laser cannon. He used it well. That got blown up in the portal to end that secondary one they had. Some of the peaceful community jumped in to help him and the heros. They hadn't earlier because the heros told them to disappear."
"Were they against them because they were demons? Or because they were heros?" the VP asked.
"Asking one of them, they thought they were innocent civilians trying to help. Didn't want them to get hurt."
He nodded. "I can see that. But we had people jumping in all over."
"Gotham is a bit cut off from most things," the head of the Marines reminded them.
"Point. Then they ended up in New York?"
"We have film from that one, sir," the head of the Navy noted. "They were requested to go help that one because the slayers were about to be overrun by that later appearing demon who needed military support to kill."
"Have you talked to your bases there?" one of the senators asked.
"Yes, ma'am. At the top of my lungs," the head of the Navy said dryly.
"Ditto," the head of the Army said. "And put a lot of them up on charges of cowardice and conduct unbecoming." The other heads nodded they agreed. "We've got a lot of generals who're going to be retiring very shortly. Down to some colonels probably. It'll be good to advance new blood up the ranks."
The VP smirked. "Open trials?"
"Mass trials for the most part."
The head of the army coughed to clear his throat. "Some of my boys and girls tried to get to the battles. They were stopped at the gate. They ended up having the MP guards shoot the ones trying to go handle things that were their job, not the job of slayers and civilians. Those ones, they're being commended for trying. The few that lost their lives trying to get to it, we'll honor. Or at least mine will be." He looked down the table.
"Oh, mine're getting the same thing," the had of the Marines said. "One base got a hostile takeover and the new colonels in charge let the people go. That's who showed up in LA. Got there a bit late, but a base takedown takes some time. That one's getting stars later today."
The VP smirked. "Good of them. I appreciate and applaud that sort of dedication to being a soldier." She looked at the other senators then at them. "What about Harris?"
"Boy's nuts," the head of the Army said. "Never got trained by more than on-the-job training and a possession by a PFC way back when, plus some role playing games we heard. Stepped in to make sure one little girl wasn't saving the world herself. He probably would've done any branch proud."
"Will the Council work with the military?"
"Sometimes. We're not allowed to bother the girls but if we show up to help plan things they'll let us handle that for them. Harris admits he's not fully trained there."
"Why?"
"A few years back you guys looked into a project some of my idiots I've since eliminated from the records did," the head of the Army said dryly. The VP nodded but winced. "I wouldn't trust a damn one of us but they know they need the backup. And if we're near a battle we're free to jump in. Just not allowed near the girls otherwise."
"I guess I can understand that. Do they work with the Army?"
"No," the head of the Marines said. "After hearing about that, Brad and I send our people to help. The Army and the National Guard defer battle orders to us in those cases. We let them field command their own people but we're the ones who liaison and all that so Summers doesn't have to remember that group she helped take down."
"I can see that. As long as it works," he decided. "Critiques of the battles?"
"A whole lotta yahoos who could've helped didn't," the head of the Merchant Marines noted. "You'd expect all those yahoos who hate the slayers for being girls who protect them to show up and protect their own selves."
"Point. We didn't get many of those."
"A few battles did. The rest were hiding in their compounds," the head of the Navy said dryly. "My brother's one and he complained that all their militia people didn't think to step in to help with him. As he put it, too many guns, not enough bullets or brains to use 'em for long."
The VP tried not to grin at that. "I can see that point as well. Any other big critiques?"
"Regional or local evac plans weren't followed, if they had any," the head of the Army noted. "Plenty of places locked down as a shelter in place to keep people out of the battle's way but that did lead to some casualties. Them fleeing would've maybe made more but they wouldn't have been in buildings that got collapsed on top of 'em. Every town really should have one by now." The other heads grunted and nodded.
A female General walked in. "Sorry to interrupt," she said, looking at her boss in the Army. "Sir, six of your units are trying to prevent the slayers from holding a funeral for their fallen girls. I've ordered them captured. They're not listening to me."
"They damn sure will listen to me," he noted, getting up. "Sorry, let me go stomp some more of my idiots." He followed her out to be taken to that area and stomp them in person. The President got there right after him. They ignored them both. They did not ignore a limping guy with a bigger weapon standing at the gates.
"Son," the president called.
"My dad was a drunk, Mr. President. You've never had that sin. Be damned if I'm going to let them hurt the girls." He stared at the head of the units, who was glaring at him. "Proves what sort of soldier you are, didn't it?" The guy tried to charge him. Xander shot him in the neck then put the gun back in the holster. The higher grade weapon was hanging by a harness around his shoulder and under his other arm. "Wanna go again?" he asked the group. They all backed away.
"Arrest them," the president ordered the officers showing up. "Leave Harris alone."
"If they want to arrest me, they can do that. I'll just prove what a lack of manhood they have in jail." Xander stared at the military people again. "Anyone else wanna try something stupid during a funeral?" Buffy came out. "Inside, Buffy."
"Xander."
"Inside. I'm not holding your Irish wake today." She got shot at and did go back inside. Willow had protected her. She was shaky but that happened. Xander looked at that soldier. "Really manly there, dude. Shooting at an unarmed woman." The man rushed him and Xander kicked him back then beat him fairly badly. A few more soldiers tried but Faith stomped out to help him. "No, go back inside, Faith."
"Fuck that shit. I die maybe I'll find out who my father was." She hit a few, using the full slayer gifts. Someone shot at her and the protections held but Xander shoved her out of the way and shot that one again. "X, I ...."
"Inside," he said, staring at her. "I am not throwing a funeral for either of you." He pointed. She huffed back inside. He got shot in the leg and looked then took off his tie to tie that spot off. "Try it again." They tried to pull guns but the officers were stopping them.
"Harris, ER," the president called.
"Fat chance. I don't partake of that religion. Thanks!" He limped off, sneering at the military people. "Let me go stitch those."
"Are you protecting a hidden secret?" the head of the Army asked.
"Yeah, the local ER's won't treat me." He grinned. "What happens when you're in a field battle against demons who have gooey blood, General?"
"It gets on you...shit, you've got demon blood exposure."
"Yup. Exactly. Even if I wanted to, I can't. They won't treat me." He shrugged. "I expected it. No one likes me saving their asses. Thankfully I'm good with stitches. Had some practice over the years." He limped off again.
"Did the ones that got exposed from that bomb hear that, kid?" the president called.
"Yup, I warned the paramedics and gave them the file from England."
"Okay." He looked at the head of the Army.
"I'm not even going to look so no one can find out from me," he admitted. "As far as we know he was born human, even if his mother didn't file a birth certificate for him."
"How?" the president asked.
"Sunnydale," Willow said as she came out. "And she was a drunken slob." She stared at the soldiers. "Giles warned me not to take them out. I don't know why he thinks I want faulty pets." A few flinched away from her. "We're going to the internment of the ashes. Can we get free for a bit please?"
"We'll escort you," one of the local officers said. "Just so this doesn't happen again." She nodded, going to tell them.
The president walked over. "How many of your girls died?" he asked gently and quietly.
"Sixteen, maybe seventeen if one in the ICU goes," Buffy told him. "They went after the house. Got a few of the minis. Got some of the girls in battles." He nodded, patting her on the shoulder. "They should've been safer. All the minis are being evacuated from the US right now. It's clear they're not safe here." She walked off. "Someone get Xander out of the bathroom?"
"He'll be in the last car," Willow reminded her. "To protect us." Buffy nodded, leaning on her shoulder. Willow gave her a hug and they got the girls safely on way to the slayer tomb at a local cemetery. The names had been added by plaque already. Willow held Buffy up while the urns were brought in and put inside the silver boxes that held them. They said the final well wishes and closed the door again, going back to the house to think, some doing some drinking, and to mourn.
Xander had stood behind the group, making sure no one interrupted. Giles stared at him. "Go get wasted," Giles told him.
"Too late." He grimaced. "I can stand watch tonight at the house."
"The rest of us can."
"I've already grieved, Giles. Let them have tonight. I'll start again tomorrow." Giles nodded, patting him on the arm. Xander limped off after him, getting in the last car to go back to the slayer house. Xander got out first because there was a demon at the gate. Xander leaned on the fence to stare at him. "Today's not a great day, Volo. You're scaring the minis."
"I came to tend our apologies on the loss, Knight."
"I know." He patted him on the arm. "The girls are jumpy." He looked at Buffy and nodded. She got out and came over to talk to him while the younger girls trooped inside to go change and sit while mourning the lost ones. Buffy walked in and Xander followed her after another pat to Volo's arm. He got patted back. Xander gave him a tired smile. "We'll handle it and move all the minis."
"I wish it wasn't necessary. They're a delight of the local community."
"Yeah but those demons came right for them."
"We know. Maybe some day they can come back?"
"If it's safe." Volo nodded, leaving him with that. Xander went in to get a bandage and change clothes then went to stand guard over the house for now. He could carve stakes outside for the moment.
***
Cordelia showed up to Rick Flag and grinned, wiggling her fingers. "It's time to let you know why they brought you back."
"To torment others?" Peacemaker asked. "Who are you and why do you have tentacles?"
"I'm Cordelia, I'm the Messenger for the Powers That Be. The ones over the slayers, yes." She grinned at Flag.
"Am I going to have to backup Harris saving them?"
"Nope. That one invasion was one we were worried about and wanted him to be prez or something to help it go more smoothly. Turns out he was too young." Rick winced but nodded. "And if you guessed there's another, yup, you're right!" she finished cheerfully. "In two years."
"It's an election year. Is he of age?" Rick asked. He leaned back in his chair.
She nodded. "Barely this year. So are you." She gave him two thumbs up and grinned. "Have some fun!"
"Am I running against him?" he asked dryly.
"Nope. One of you will be Prez though." She faded out with a giggle.
He blinked a few times. Peacemaker looked at him. "Did she remind you of Harley?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah. Yes she did." Harley leaned around the door to grin at them. "One of the ones who sent me back just said I have to run for president."
She giggled and nodded. "Have fun with that!" She bounced off happier with that outcome, humming _Bitch_.
Flag grimaced at the doorway. "Great. Maybe they're related."
"As she said, sometimes a girl's gotta have secrets." They both grimaced. Harley was a bit...happy recently.
"I don't really want to run things that way. We can support Harris getting it though."
"The slayers would freak out," Peacemaker warned.
"Yeah but it's their higher ups that're causing it." He walked off to send Xander an email in warning. He had no idea if he was supposed to go run for office or what. How did one start an ordered political career?
Well, one started it apparently within the demon community, who had bought ads and noted how he had protected everyone with Harris a few times, and how Xander could trust him around the girls. He blinked a few times when he saw that. And the ones about Xander that he was grumbling about. "Fuck."
***
Flag called Harris to meet him in DC at a restaurant that was quiet, private, and a bit underground but not scummy. Mob types liked it. Xander came in and sat down across from him. "I saw this woman who helped me get back named Cordelia."
"How was my ex, the glowy tentacle girl?"
"Put a huge burden on our shoulders. Have you seen the ads?" He blinked a few times. "That's your ex?"
"High school ex. We used to argue and then make out in closets. She's the one that got hurt because Willow and I somehow ended up kissing. I still hate how that turned out with her. But she went from the Sunnydale team to the LA team. Where she died of her visions. She got changed to try to slow the damage."
"That explains a lot." He sipped his beer. "You should probably eat. You look skinny."
"The flu's going around the house again." Rick nodded he knew how that went. "So what are we going to do about this?"
"If this is the duty we're called to...."
Xander stared at him. "I'll support you greatly as the future president, Flag. I'll even help if you need demonic advice."
"Will they let us do that?"
"Probably not. They're known for crackhead plans and plots that I usually work around. They like to send visions about battles that'll mean sacrificing some of the slayers. I go around them and they mostly don't end up dead. That's part of my actual job, screwing up prophecies."
Flag stared at him. "Sometimes you have to do the duty you're called to."
Xander grinned. "I'm not meant to lead a country. I'm barely meant to lead the girls. And really, if we're honest, I shouldn't be in battles but I'm the best we have. If I leave, no one else will do my job."
"That's a point," he admitted. "Still, we're being called to this duty."
"Do you think I can't move around that? Maybe by shouting about them sending a vision?"
Flag thought about that. "Would it actually work?"
"Probably some, and even if they move the date, people are warned that there's been a prophecy about that incident coming up. And hey, you'll have my support. You lead people. You were trained to lead people. You learned how to do all that inspiring stuff so you can be this generation's Patton or something."
"Don't insult me that way," Flag said dryly.
"Okay, or maybe Yoda."
"That's less of an insult. I'd make a terrible Jedi."
"You do deal well with Sith sided people."
"Don't remind me. I had to do that yesterday and kicked his ass then let Harley have him."
"Is she still rollerblading around?"
"Don't tempt her." He grinned slightly.
"Fine."
"You should flirt with her."
"She's too nice to be one of the ones that hit on me. Or else she would've already hit on me."
"You should try."
"I can't flirt worth a damn. I do better with being hunted prey instead."
"I'll let her know that later." He finished his beer. "We may still have to give in."
"They can drag me kicking and screaming into a suit and there then."
"Sometimes, you have to suck it up and do the duty, Harris," he said dryly.
"Sure, I can turn the local house into the new slayer residence." He smirked a bit. "Close Cleveland's house."
Flag shuddered at that. "That's a bad thought."
"Giles would hate it. The girls would have more access to higher end shopping again." He grinned. "They do adore that."
Flag shook his head slowly. "That's so weird."
"Weird is Buffy used to be a Cali princess."
"Very weird then." He stared at him. "Get lunch."
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You look sick."
"Like I said, we've had the flu at the slayer house. So I've had a lot of long nights with sick kids recently." Rick sighed, staring at him. "Really, I'm good. It's okay. You can dad others."
"Uh-huh." He got himself another beer, Xander a milkshake, and let him have that instead. At least it was a lot of calories. They needed to find a way to minimize this problem before it started.
***
Xander walked up to someone complaining, staring at them. "Keep it up, encourage the peaceful community to try to vote me in as president again." The woman flinched back, shaking her head quickly as she got away from him. "Also, if I do move all the girls out of the US, that means you have to fall in for a battle. Considering there's one in a few years by some visions.... Have you taken sword lessons yet, ma'am?"
"I'll die first," the woman sneered.
"You have fun with that. It'll be one less I have to worry about." He walked around her and past the reporters. "That vision is why they had wanted me to run for president. Or someone else they figure is like my slightly older prototype."
The reporters called that in and were in awe. "Is it going to be like the last one with the multi-city portals?" one called.
He turned to look at her. "Just about as bad, yes. No idea yet what's coming but they've had this plan since before I was old enough. Now that I'm just barely old enough they're prompting people. I like the other guy they tapped though. He's good, tactically sound, has sense which is a great thing. Can even put up with the slayers." He grinned. "I'll gladly stand behind him because if I'm somehow made the president of the US, I'd have to turn the white house into the newest slayer camp." He walked off again.
The reporters shared a look. A few went to a demon poker hall, going to ask them about what they had heard and why they were working for that future.
One of the bartenders looked at her. "Because Harris doesn't want anyone to suffer. He doesn't want to see kids suffer, slayers suffer, nothing like that. And he's very protective. He's intuitive about how to run a battle. Is a country so much harder than a battle camp?"
"I guess it'd be on order of magnitudes." The reporter blinked. "Who's the other one?" He pointed at the poster behind him. It was a homemade election poster. She looked and swallowed. "That's the guy with that team."
"It is," he agreed with a nod. "War hero, West Point grad, runs some of the roughest people to make them help him beat bigger problems. Even if he hated us he'd still protect us too because he's fair that way. He believes in doing the duty you're given."
The reporter nodded. "That make sense. Thank you."
"Welcome. We can't wait to see what Harris does as president. He's a bit chaotic." He grinned.
"He said he'd turn the white house into the newest slayer camp. To make sure the girls were safe."
"The head of the council would probably hate that. So would DC, but I guess it'd be fun for the girls." She smiled, leaving him to contemplate that idea. Maybe it was time to do a deep dive into their pasts so others knew why demons wanted them to run. They found one had been done but not by someone *known* so they could jazz it up maybe.
***
Buffy stared at the documentary on one of the news channels about Xander, frowning. "That's not him. Someone yell at that reporter for making a fool out of herself?"
The girls sighed but did that. They didn't want Xander to be the president. It might mean they'd get to skip sparring practice more often but it'd suck to have him in DC.
***
Rupert was giving an interview the next day from the gateway to the compound. "I do believe that some of your people were a bit...simple recently," he told the reporter. "I'm filling in for Xander, who laughed himself sick that your reporter profiled someone in Missouri who is not him and never was him."
The reporter winced but nodded. "We told her that. Though he seems like a man the girls would teach sense to."
"Probably, yes." He smiled slightly.
"Can we talk to you about why the demons wanted him as president?"
"It's not so much the peaceful community. This comes from a few visions that have come down from the Powers That Be, the ones over the slayers." She nodded she understood that. "It started back before the last massive invasion problem we had.
"They were hoping he'd be in place then to help manage the disaster going on, making sure the girls were backed up. Also a bit that if he was in that sort of position he wouldn't be helping the slayers daily. They really do consider him warping because of how he treats the girls like sisters instead of soldiers you see."
"I can see how they'd be mad at that. Don't they decide on which problems happen?"
"A few yes. In that case they foresaw and put down bets with other beings of their nature." The reporter sighed. "Exactly. The PTB want balance in humanity. Which I'm slightly for, but not the way they want it to happen as that would cost many slayers their lives."
"Why not good winning."
"The last time the side of true good got majority power, the Inquisitions started. Do we need that sort of thing?"
"They were mostly about greed."
"And forcing some to change their ideals on faith," he agreed with a slight nod. "But at that time, good was much higher on top of the battle. Each time they get too far up, then it causes humanity problems. The same as it does if evil is getting the upper hand. However, the PTB's methods are very short sighed and very narrow minded. It's not that they're racist but if humanity truly all died they'd get the balance they've been desiring. Which means they wouldn't have anything to control so they'd hate that."
"The only true peace is death," she said.
He nodded. "Xander's also been known to throw quite a monkey wrench into their plots and plans. They send visions about battles and show who's handling it. Xander changes some things and makes it easier for the girls to win. He's totally warped the problem until the point where some haven't happened at all. Most of them have happened without any of the slayers risking their lives. They really do desire Xander to leave the slayers' sides but he's a bit stubborn that it's his chosen duty and he's going to do it."
"Which is a noble sacrifice," the reporter said.
"It is. I honor him daily for it. Even if I would love to tie him up and stuff him in a closet at times."
"I can see that. Can we have information to do a real background on him?"
He shook his head with a smile. "He'd hate that. Especially as we don't know everything. You might ask some of the demonic elements about that. Or even the demonic news people. They did a charming, annoying piece a few years ago about one of the incidences in Africa. It's how we found out as Xander did not see fit to do a report."
"I can do that. Thank you, Mr. Giles. I hope your girls have an easy week."
He smiled and let her leave so she could go ask about Xander. He would be proud if people elected Xander to a higher office. The boy had matured greatly since he had been a skateboarding young man back in Sunnydale. Though still very annoying. He sighed when he heard the minis cackling in the backyard and racing around the house chasing Xander. "Must you?" he called dryly.
"Yes, they need to learn how to chase someone," Buffy called. "Xander fed them candy so they can chase him."
"I'm going to teach the girls my special trick with pixie sticks and mountain dew!" he crowed, picking up one to swing around. "The monster got you! What do you do now?" He tossed her lightly at the other girls then ran off again.
"Get him, girls!" Faith called from inside the house. "He's had candy too." The girls squealed again and ran after him. The reporter's camera man had caught that on film while she giggled about that. Then Xander raced back and jumped the fence, grinning at the girls. They pouted but couldn't work the gate latch. Faith came out to get it for them. "Chase him to the park. Make him get you ice cream, girls." They looked very determined.
"Someone has to get my wallet. It's not on me!" he called back. "No ice cream without a wallet." Giles handed one of the girls money with a smirk. Xander took off jogging lightly, making the girls try to catch up to him. "Don't lose that, Sis."
"I won't!" She put it in her tying pocket and raced off with the others. They had to cross a few streets but Xander taunted them from the other side because he was so far ahead. They huffed but they could get him in the block before the ice cream store, then run in to get their own. Sis stared at the ice cream shop manager, who came out to see why his people were laughing. "Mr. Giles said we could have ice cream if we got Xander down." She handed over the money. "Can we all have some for that?"
He looked and counted. "You could each have a scoop and get your watcher one too," he promised. "What do you girls want?" They went to stare at the case and Xander finally came in after dusting himself off and getting a bit of chewing gum off his shirt. "You can have a single scoop too," he promised with a grin.
"They needed to learn how to chase something." He took his cone of ice cream and walked the girls back. "Eat while you walk. You know the even tinier girls will steal any sweets they find."
The girls chatted while eating their ice cream. One girl dripped some but another one let her have a few licks of hers. So did Xander. It was a good trip. As they walked, Xander told them about how sometimes being in that sugar high state worked for a battle but not always. Bouncy battles were a certain type that you needed that sort of energy in.
They all nodded at that wisdom. An officer stared at them from beside the gates. "They needed to learn how to chase and Giles gave them ice cream money." He smirked as he finished his cone.
"We wondered why they were chasing you up the street."
"He was being a scary monster who tickles," one of the girls chirped.
"Ice cream!" one of the three-year-old minis announced with a point.
"We didn't bring any back, go ask Andrew," Xander called back. "When you're older you can chase me to get ice cream too." The mini went to pout at Andrew, who didn't have ice cream but he had yogurt and cookies. She huffed but accepted some of the yogurt for now.
Xander grinned at the officer as he let the girls back into the fence. He counted and stared then looked around. The officer pointed so he went to get the mini talking to the dryad in a nearby tree. He picked her up. "Thank you for being so nice to her. It's time for dinner though."
"You're very nice," the mini said with a grin and a wave. "Have a good night!" She got put down inside the fence and ran to tell the other girls. They didn't know about any dryads. The senior watcher in the library sighed but came over to tell them about dryads and other nymphs. They did need to learn. Xander went to get a cookie and go hide from the girls.
Buffy and Faith sighed but went to talk to the minis. They'd be bouncy all night with the ice cream Giles had let them have.
The reporter's camera man had followed them until they had gotten out of the ice cream place. It'd be a highly liked piece on their station's website. Got millions of views for the next week.
***
This Was Not What I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up!