The Ones They Want. by Voracity2

The Ones They Want.

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Xander looked up from fussing at one of the babies when the guys tromped up the stairs. "Bad news?"

"He's mending but awake and able to move by himself. They've healed most of the damage already," Bruce said, flopping down. "We're not really pleased with Fury."

Xander nodded. "Me either. I've never been pleased with Fury." The baby squealed. He looked at her. "Are you turning demanding already? Wow, you're way too young to be so demanding." He went back to teasing her toes for her, making her giggle.

"You're good with them," Steve said quietly.

Xander grinned. "I love the little mouthy ones."

"You could have a few," Tony said.

"Remember that yelling and screaming about my blood way back when? It's still there and still too far off human."

"Oh, yeah." He shrugged, taking the baby to look at. She grinned at him. "Hi. You're loud." She squealed and kicked, still smiling. "You're a good girl. Hug Steve. He needs cute girl hugs." He handed her to Steve and looked at Xander. "I had to destroy the notes we had. Someone tried to hack."

Xander nodded. "A few people have heard something from the underground railroad of news that Sunnydale used to be part of. I had a few blood hunters in Africa and Asia that thought I'd be a nice toy to play with. They were wrong. A lot. In many pieces."

Clint looked at him. "How many pieces?"

Xander smiled. "Depends on which one. One I told the cannibal imps I was clearing out to make a meal of before they kidnaped more people to experiment on."

"I think I saw that mess. Malaysia?"

"Yup." He grinned. "Teach them to think I'm a toy and expendable." He took the baby back. "Hi, Miss Squeal." She pouted. "What?" She pouted and sniffled. Steve smiled and took her back, making her happy. She was playing with his hair. "Okay, if he doesn't mind." He shrugged.

"Why were they after your blood?" Bruce asked.

"No comment." Xander walked off. "I'm not contagious but there's things that only I seem to be able to do."

"Barton has that same skill," a tired voice said.

"You should be in bed," Clint said, hopping up to help Coulson to a seat.

"He's as stubborn as I am," Xander quipped. "Want some coffee?"

"Not yet. Let my heart finish feeling like brand new first." He looked at the staring baby. "Hi." She cackled and bounced on Steve, babbling noise at him. "You are loud." He took her to hold. She patted him and cooed. "I know I was there when you were born. You were loud then too."

"Why were you there when she was born?" Bruce asked.

"There was a battle," Coulson said. "It's why I was late picking you up to go to Arizona," he told Clint, who nodded at that. "I got sent to see why they were having a battle without warning us."

"There was a demon clan taking over a town," Xander said. He came out with coffee for them and a bottle for the baby. She happily grabbed it and sucked. He grinned. "Nice. Thank you." He flopped down, wincing a tiny bit. "I got sent to help calm it down or stop it with a few of the girls. There had been a coven there that had offered a bunch of unpopular girls to the demons for power and status, and good boyfriends. When I got there, we were attacked and had to take cover for a few minutes. They had said five demons, not five hundred demons in this clan." Bruce shuddered. "We were in a store, getting ready to move up again when Coulson gets there to see what's going on.

"We were arguing about strategy to stop it when they herded a pregnant woman into the store. I still don't know how they realized she was carrying a future slayer but they did. She was in labor because of the running and the really scared chemicals in her blood. We had no way of stopping it so out she popped and then they summoned the mom while we were trying to get the baby to breathe. Let's just say the first crunch is always the worst but one of the girls got that demon with her crossbow and Coulson took the baby while we fought the rest of them. We had no way of saving the mother unless we had been laying on top of her to make sure they couldn't take her."

Coulson nodded, feeding the baby. "It was not pretty and I shot the mother as she was stolen so she wasn't killed by the demon eating her. There was no hope of killing the demon since it took specially blessed lead rounds."

"Which we didn't know we needed because the research people didn't say that," Xander said. "Their kind of demons had to be summoned and they claimed they didn't know," he told Coulson.

"I saw the report you sent me about thumping them as you put it. Thank you for saving me that duty."

Xander grinned. "My pleasure. Anyway, about an hour later we finally made it to the summoning circle. We broke it, it broke the protections on the demons and sent the weaker ones home, the ones who hadn't eaten a human. Then the girls and I hunted the rest down to make they were all gone. She was in the hospital with Coulson watching over her. The first thing he did when he saw me after that battle was point at her shoulder. Huge, hairy slayer mole. We talked to Giles and he said she could come here if she didn't have other family. We looked through the local officers but they couldn't find anyone and neither could their social services people. They decided having a baby slayer in their system was probably a dangerous thing. More demons might come for them, or they might injure another kid without realizing it. So we got her and we got Amanda, who is one of the ones in that problematic class."

"I can understand why they're worried that demons come for slayers," Clint said. "But the harming other kids?"

"If you can bend rebar at five-years-old, punching the bully that's picking on you tends to become a bit of a problem," Xander said, sipping his coffee.

"They can?" Clint asked. Xander nodded. "You're sure?"

"Miranda, Clint wants to see how strong you girls really are."

The three-year-old beamed and ran to the study to get the show off kit. It already had a bent piece of metal. She held it up. He frowned as he checked it. Then he handed it back. She cuddled it into bending more. "Damn," Clint said. He hugged her. "That's very good, Miranda." She beamed and handed it to Xander then ran off to play with the dollies again.

"Miranda, if those are Kelsey's dollies, you have to ask her," Xander said with a wince.

"Those are my old ones, Xander. I don't have those subjects anymore," she said from her corner. She smiled. "Some day I might need them back but we'll see. They can have those. I cleaned them and everything."

"I know you did, Kelsey. You're very good at that." He looked at her. "Are you out of dollies?"

"No, but I need a better math dollie. I'm going to the next class soon so I need one that's smarter than my last one was. She barely understood math with me."

"Find me one and I'll get one brought to you by the dollie elves." She smiled at him for that and took one of the tablets off the work table to look up dolls. She knew where they came from but the littler kids didn't. Some of them were silly enough to think that Xander was an elf sent by Santa. She knew he was really Santa. Xander looked at Coulson.

"Madison Traegar," he said quietly. "She's in Manhattan but she's good." Xander nodded, relaxing some. "I've had her name on my desk for about a week. Or a week before the battle anyway."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He looked at the baby. "Are you asleep?"

"Just quiet," Steve said, taking her to hold. "You're very sweet."

Xander snorted. "No she's not. She's loud and she screams and she hates pajamas. And bath time. She loathes bath time." Steve snorted but grinned at the little girl, who cooed up at him.

Tony looked at her then at Xander. "Maybe she just needed someone bigger and more muscled."

"Maybe. I know I'm not built like an action star. I always thought it was the eye patch."

"How did you lose your eye?" Bruce asked. "If it's not too personal."

Xander shook his head. "There was a minion of the First Evil who thought I saw too much so he was going to make me see differently with his thumbnails." Bruce shuddered. "He popped it but Spike saved me from losing the other one." He adjusted the eyepatch. "I hear about it just about every other battle from the girls." He took another drink of his coffee.

"I'd say we could use a sidekick but we have plenty," Tony said dryly.

"He'd have to bring all of us," Kelsey said. "You have a really pretty tower, Mr. Tony. We'd love to make it a fort."

He looked over, grinning at her. "So would Pepper."

"Then we'd have more girls around?"

"I'm not sure if Pepper could be a big sister or not. She has to run the business because I don't do it very well."

She grinned. "You got distracted like the big slayers do at shoes and panties."

"Yeah, I did, but mine was because of science."

Kelsey smiled and held up her dollie. "This is my science dollie. I'm studying leaves."

"That's a great area," Bruce said. "I studied that before physics and medicine." She brought her doll and her workbook over to get his help. He had some patience with kids and she was a nice kid.

Xander smiled. "Thanks," he said quietly. "I wasn't exactly a bookish sort in school."

"It might've helped if the principal didn't change your grades on you," Coulson said dryly.

"Yes it might have," Xander agreed with a grin for him. "But the giant snake demon Mayor ate him. We were all happy, the whole class cheered."

Tony shook his head quickly. "I can see why but that's really warped, Xander."

"I know but he was a troll."

"Did he have a bridge or was he a Harry Potter troll?" Kelsey asked, head popping up.

"We think he had a bridge hidden mystically so he could sleep under it," Xander said. "He was too short to be the other kinds." She laughed and got back to her lessons. Steve was looking upset. "He gave one kid detention because his belt was crooked and had missed a loop."

Steve nodded. "Yeah, he was a troll," Tony told him. "I looked into his school. It was pathetically horrible."

"He was there to get his power kicks and to help hide all the bodies we had. Not like he cared if we got educated."

"Good point," Tony agreed. "He didn't care because you guys were there to feed the nightlife."

Xander nodded. "Pretty much. Though the look on his face when he saw the zombie's bomb that morning, priceless." He grinned and finished his coffee.

"Did they ever see you had something to do with that?" Tony asked.

"Nope. Willow eventually found out by hacking the security system. That caught Jack carrying it in and me following to stop him. Jack got eaten by Oz while he was in furry form. I snuck out."

Tony nodded. "Good."

"There was a *zombie* that was going to blow up the school?" Clint asked, looking at him.

"Yeah." He nodded. "To keep the hellmouth open. The girls had me be fray adjacent so I couldn't get in their way. I had no idea he had used me to go get materials for it."

"Damn," Clint said. "You guys were insane."

"We were teenagers and we had angst and hell and apocalypse battles. It was more a soap opera at times."

"Where are the other hellmouths?" Tony asked. Xander pointed at a map on the wall. He looked. "Is that one near my other factory?"

"Few hundred miles. It's pretty quiet and calm."

"Oh, okay. That's good to know. I'll let Pepper know so we can make sure it's not going to affect things." He sent her a text message. He got one back. "We have a meeting tomorrow."

"All of us?" Bruce asked. "Steve, she's asleep."

"She's fine. It's nice to be needed," he said quietly.

Xander stared at him. "If you wanted to mentor one of the slayer teams I can set that up. They could all use mentors since half of them don't have field watchers. A lot of it's making sure that they're okay with the battles and maybe helping."

"I'll think about that," Steve said with a grin. "The girls are great girls."

"Thanks," Xander said. Dawn appeared in a flash of light. "Wow, brighter than usual," he said dryly.

"The president wants you at the talk tomorrow between my boss, our boss, and their boss," she said then grinned and disappeared.

"Sure," Xander decided. "Why?"

Coulson cleared his throat. "A few of the people on Dawn's current project consider you more dangerous than some of their enemies."

Xander leaned forward to look down at him. "Seriously?"

"Yes. One listed you as more dangerous than the wraith."

"How am I more dangerous than an alien being who eats your life force through their hand?"

"I do not know," he admitted.

"What's a wraith?" Clint asked.

"You'll be finding out soon," Coulson said. "I have modules to train you about them. You and Natasha both."

"She's helping find out who had the bright idea to attack the top levels of the Council to get them gone," Bruce said.

"Wonderful. I'm sure it's destressing for her," Coulson said. He took Kelsey to look at. "You have done five and a half hours of studying."

"I need to do five more minutes then," she whined. "I'll have to start over."

"Part of learning is taking breaks." She pouted. "During the regular school day you'd have lunch breaks and maybe even recess." Xander nodded to back that up. "Otherwise your brain goes blank."

"Oh, is that what that's called?" He nodded. She pouted. "Five more minutes?"

He pointed at the clock. "When did you start?"

She looked and counted. "I'm only one minute short!"

"And this break time is usually called clean up time," he said with a slight smile. "So clean up and get ready to put the dollie back." She nodded, cleaning up her learning mess so she could put the dollies back when the clock chimed. She sighed in pleasure and did that then went to read something fun.

"Thank you," Xander mouthed.

"We'll help you figure it out. Otherwise she'll have problems in school."

"Yeah, she will." He got up to grab one of the homework tablets to look up that therapist's name, walking off calling her. "Hi, I'm Xander Harris and I'm the trainer for the new Watchers Council. I have one of my girls who has a really strong case of OCD," he said as he shut his office door. "Ones that make her pat the doorway each time she walks through in the same place. She has a time limit on how long she has to study whenever she starts and she has to have a doll for each and every subject but if she's done with that doll she'll let the other girls play with them then pick up one later on for the higher levels of that subject. No, no eating or hygiene ones we've seen yet.

"She's six but she's starting our usual school next year due to the birthday rules so that's going to be a problem. No, she has to study straight through for five hours and thirty-five minutes. No breaks or anything." He listened. "That's what I want to do. I've been searching around and an agent I know suggested her. Yes, that her." He smiled, making a note in his scheduling book. "I don't have anything that day so that's fine. I can do that. We have film and files on all the odd behaviors we've seen her do. I've been talking to a few therapists to get ideas to help her but nothing we've done is helping. Thank you, that's a great time. I can do that. Thanks." He hung up and made a note. He walked out. "Kelsey, you have a doctor's appointment in three days at three pm."

"Three?" she asked, looking scared.

"It's in Manhattan, at that little hospital that you prefer when you got stitches. That's the only time she has open."

"I guess it'll be okay. Even if it has three in it."

"It'll be fine. I'm going with you."

"Shots?"

"No. Not shots. A doctor who's going to talk to you about your dislike of the number three and things like that."

"Oh, for the dollies?"

"That too. She's not going to make you give them up but it'll give you someone to talk to about them."

She nodded. "I guess it might be okay. We can try."

He hugged her. "That's very brave, sweetheart. It'll be fine."

"Can I pick the bedtime story tonight?"

"Sure, why not."

"Can I ask the nice agent lady?"

"If she's back."

"Oh." She looked over. "Nice archer agent guy?"

"My name's Clint, Kelsey."

"Okay, Clint, can you tell a bedtime story tonight?"

"I can try." She beamed and nodded, wiggling some and getting back to her book. "Xander, how are you moving your arm that much?"

"He's stubborn that way," Tony quipped.

"That's why we're all hovering around him," Kelsey quipped. "So he can't get more hurt. We'd hate that for our Xander." Xander kissed her on the head and sat down. "If we didn't hover he might have to take drugs to feel better and we'd all hate to have to talk to him about how pills are bad."

"Yes they are, unless they're prescribed to you because you need things like allergy medicine or important medicines for serious problems like heart problems," Bruce said.

She grimaced. "Are those drugs, Xander?"

"Kinda but not ones that make people do stupid things usually."

"That's okay then. I know one of us has to take vitamin pills and she hates it. I'll talk to her about it later," she decided and got back to reading.

"I love how the girls are always so certain," Tony said with a smile for her, getting a grin back.

"That's a great part of youth, knowing you're right and the rest of the world is wrong," Xander agreed. The other adults smiled at that. "That and the immortal tendencies of teenagers." He looked over at one that was hanging outside the window. "Did you do that on purpose?" he called.

"No. I fell." Xander started to get up but Clint got up and went to help her down. "Thank you, Clint."

"Welcome. What did you fall doing?"

"I'm supposed to learn how to rappel next week."

"Don't you take a class for that?" Xander called.

"I don't want to look stupid."

"Do it again, watch them think your parent beats you," Xander called.

"Yes, Xander. I won't do it again so you don't have to spank me." She looked at Clint hopefully.

He looked at what she had set up. "You need a real harness, not just a rope tied strategically. You need a carabineer so you can zip down."

"Crap."

"Sorry, kiddo."

She sighed. "I guess I'll wait and check it out on youtube then." She went to do that.

"I'm hearing the 'homework' song for some reason," Xander quipped.

"I just got home," she complained, scowling at him.

"With a note from what Marta said."

"Oops." She slunk off to get her homework. Marta handed over the various notes. He signed a few and handed them back. "Melinda, did you want to go to the park?"

"Please don't make me go to the disease ridden park," she begged. "Pretty please, Xander?"

He made a note on the back of the form about her allergies to most flowers and she could not take allergy medicine due to adverse side effects - usually known as being unable to be woken up for most of a day - so she should not go and to let him know if he should keep her home that day. He looked at the other three. "Ooooh, book sale," he winced. He put that aside.

"I miss those," a few of the older girls muttered.

"That was prewarning that the second grade is having one next month," he quipped. He looked at those girls, who all grinned at him. "We'll go over the order sheet when they send it so we can pick you out stuff." They cheered. "You guys get to talk Giles into it." They nodded, babbling about plans on how to convince Giles to give them a book allowance that time. "Remember, the other kids might be getting one too." The third and fourth graders all smirked at him. "Talk to Giles. He pays your bills." They got with the younger kids to work on their attack plan.

Coulson smiled slightly at them. "They've got very good tactical skills," he said quietly.

Xander grinned. "Thanks." He looked at the two other slips. "Why did someone get detention for spitting on another girl?"

"She's a whore who said I'll never get a boyfriend because boys don't like girls like me, and I'm too mentally retarded to know anything about sex," one of the girls said.

"Excuse you, language," Xander said firmly, staring at her. "Secondly, you're how goddamn old? If there's a guy between your knees, you're in the deepest shit ever."

"No! There's not one! Eww! I know the rules! It's not my fault she gets *presents* from her *boyfriend*."

"Did you note that to the teacher?"

"She said she'd be talking to her mother about it but I'm still in detention for the spitting."

"Ya think?" Xander asked, signing it and adding a note to the back. "By the way, don't you have chores?" He gave her a pointed look. "That is not how we resolve conflicts with other students. You know better."

"I do," she sighed. "I apologized to the principal, who asked why I had called her that, so I told him to look at a certain time and places's hallway video. He called her parents."

"Good! Still doesn't excuse your part of it."

"I know. I'm grounded, extra PT, extra chores," she sighed. "A week?"

"Yup." He pointed. She sighed but went to help Marta in the kitchen. He looked at the other one. "Do I even want to ask?"

"No," that girl said.

"Why were you spreading crap everywhere?"

"It wasn't mine."

"I'm not sure if it makes it better or worse," he said.

Tony shook his head. "Worse. It means she handled someone else's body fluids."

"It's a solid, not a fluid," one of the younger ones quipped. "And the teacher deserved it. She's an evil b.... um, not supposed to say that word, even about her."

Xander rolled his eyes, staring at that girl. "You were doing what?"

"The evil cunt said she was calling someone to inseminate us later so we could reach our ultimate destination earlier and easier."

Xander glared. "Really?" She nodded. "And you were....."

"Pointed out she was full of shit by spreading it on her," she admitted. "I may be expelled. There's a hearing. I admitted to it when we got caught. I'm going to take my punishment because I'll be damned, Xander."

He nodded. "You've got some here for that language too." He pointed. She ran into the kitchen. "Is that meeting tomorrow? It doesn't say."

"Yup. Might conflict."

"Okay. We'll see." He looked over there. "What are you going to do if you're expelled?"

"Home school."

"Really?" he asked dryly.

"Yup. He asked me that and I pointed out I was looking at it already due to her bullshit."

"Add another two weeks," Xander said bluntly.

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you. The younger girls do not need to hear, use, or accept such language, even if the target is deserving." Though, he and the bitch were going to have a talk about that shit. He called the principal. "I just got the note. When is the hearing? No, she's presently ruing her decision to the tune of kitchen duty at the moment. Then she and the other one that you saw today get to go clean every single gym by hand by themselves." They whined. "And then they get to go scoop the yard after the pets." He listened. "That's what I wanted to know. Was she correct at that rant?" He listened and nodded once. "Uh-huh. I see." He looked at her. "You don't have to pick up the animal crap after all." She winced. "You should've told me the rest she said."

"I couldn't air that around the little kids," she said bluntly, giving him a look.

Xander nodded. "No, probably not." He kept listening. "I'd rather she not be expelled, and I can see why she did it. I have no idea. No, I'd keep a table between us please. No, I can totally be late to my other one tomorrow. When is ours?" He made a note. "All right. Thank you. Yes, I've already noted that and signed it. Was there another one...." He looked at the other fourth graders. "Really?"

One shrugged. "We were just looking out for other teachers to support our sisters." He pointed at the kitchen. "Yes, Xander." They sighed but went in there to do some chores.

Xander smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow about them. Yes, I think it'll be okay. Thank you." He hung up and looked at the kitchen. "One of you go clean the bathrooms for Marta." They whined but rock/paper/scissors among the other three got one to do that. Xander looked at Tony then leaned over to hiss in his ear.

"I'd punch the bitch," he said quietly. "And not stop."

"That's why we were proving she was full of non-fluid human excrement," the girl in the kitchen said. "Which was nicely donated by one of her victims that she beat yesterday."

"She did what?" Xander asked.

"She went to the principal. Her parents know. They've filed assault charges since their daughter had broken skin and things."

"What did she do to warrant that sort of treatment?" Bruce asked.

"She cried at a movie." The girl looked over. "It was sad! She openly cried. The rest of us knew if we openly cried we'd be at least screamed at." Xander was growling. "Calm down, Xander. We'll get her. We will."

Xander called someone. "Dawn, I'll be late. I have a meeting with the principal at ten. It might result in me needing bail money." He hung up. "Okay, onto happier topics." He calmed himself down. That girl came over to hug him. "Why did you not tell me?" he asked her.

"Because each time she gets yelled at by parents, she just gets worse and worse. You might kill her." She went back in there.

"I'm not supposed to kill humans unless it's to protect myself or others from harm," Xander said dryly. "Clearly she needs the pretty jacket with the extra long sleeves if she thinks that's all right behavior though."

"We all thought she went off her meds," that girl admitted. "She was better at the beginning of the year then she got dumped by her boyfriend, had a few rough weeks, then calmed down for a few and suddenly snapped."

"Maybe," Xander said, rubbing his forehead. He took a calming breath then went outside to throw a fit.

The younger girls all clapped. "Whooo hoooo!" one shouted. "You go, Xander!"

"Go clean your room," he yelled back. The girls giggled but had to clean up for dinner and their rooms weren't that messy anyway. Xander came back in. "Sorry, needed to vent. The unicorns are all glaring at me for it." He flopped back down.

"Thankfully the nearest neighbor probably can't hear," Coulson said. He took Stark's phone to tap out a message to Hill then handed it back. "So they'll expecting him to suddenly show up. SHIELD tends to have a bad reaction when he shows up unexpectedly somewhere."

"They didn't in the infirmary," Steve said.

"It was too fast and everyone was still in shock," Xander said. He waved his bad hand around. "Usually they would've pulled guns and I would've pulled knockout gas. That's kinda my love note to SHIELD."

"The mean poopy head demons might like him since he's a poopy head of a different sort," one of the younger girls said, getting a few nods.

Xander leaned over to look at her. "You haven't had demon classifications yet."

"I asked Beth why she stunk when she came in last night."

"Ah. Beth?"

"Yup, two of them trying to get into an upscale club and horrifying the rich snobs. I sent a report. Buffy said Giles was stoned enough on his painkillers for his leg that he laughed for a good half-hour over it."

Xander shook his head with a groan. "Great."

"We drove them out of the city," the other slayer said. "Damned if I want to deal with them again," she muttered when Xander looked at her.

"Ditto. Especially since three of them really like Buffy's style and want to adopt her into the clan." They burst out laughing and ran off to go pee.

"They crap out ribbons," Coulson said. "Then wrap it around their heads to attract their own kind for mating."

The Avengers all nodded at that. They did not want to know.

***

Xander walked into the meeting room the next day. "Sorry," he said over the shouting the president was watching. "School talk about a teacher that got so damn dumb the girls reacted by spreading shit over her after tying her up." He sat down, watching the screaming match between Fury and O'Neill. "I had twenty bucks on O'Neill decking him," he told Dawn.

"You won that bet too. First thing." She handed it over. "And another five for Carter sneering at Hill."

"Hmm." He nodded. "Okay." He looked at the scientist with the black eye. "She's tougher than you, Colonel. They sent her to take out people by hand." He looked at Hill. "Beilinar?"

"I've heard some from the girls when we scanned their reports to the main house," Hill admitted.

Xander smirked. "Do you enjoy that?"

"No. The girls tend to complain a lot."

"She told the girls yesterday she was going to have them tied up, raped, impregnated, and then shipped off. Which made the girls break, tie her up, cover her in shit that someone nicely donated since the teacher had beaten her bloody the day before over crying at a movie. So we had a charming talk this morning with the principal."

Giles looked down. "Are they expelled?"

"There's six weeks left. They must attend counseling, though the whole class is attending it now. For the next six weeks actually. This summer they are to keep attending it for anger management issues. He apologized for not listening when the problems started and the girls complained. He thought it was solved after the last talk they had. She tried to kill one of the slayers with a knife during the meeting today. Which went into her hip when I grabbed it and her," Xander said. "She's on the psych ward in Hartford." Giles smirked at that. "The girls are all to do penance this summer, including mandatory community service hours." He slid down the agreement. "If they screw up for any reason, even having to run from an attack, they may not come back."

He looked it over. "It seems fair. The others involved?"

"Same deal. One of their parents is a lawyer and he negotiated based on what his daughter was already doing for punishment. Also, expect an email from the girls about the school book fair."

"I can do so." He slid it back. "Even if they have to run from an apocalypse?"

"Yup."

"I suppose that's reasonable as they wouldn't be going back there probably anyway." He looked at the two fighting people then at Xander.

Xander got up and went to get the visitors in there. Coulson shook his head. Hill hopped up, staring at him. "O'Neill's people helped him too," Xander said. He shoved the two people apart, looking at them both. "Shut up. Sit down. I've already had enough bitching today from the fourth grade teacher from hell." He looked at Fury, who had just snorted. "Don't make me let Hill take over, Fury. I have no problem at all wounding you seriously so she can sit beside your bed for the next six months you'll be on intubation while healing the lung shot. I've had enough." He looked at O'Neill. "Then why didn't you send people to help?" he demanded. "If it's your job to deal with aliens, deal with the fucking aliens! Even the slayers did some of that! If they had shown up to help, everyone probably would've liked it." He walked away to sit back down. "Damn, act like it's your sandbox and only you can play," he said dryly.

"Harris," Fury growled.

"I raise scarier toddlers," he pointed out. "Let's sit down and work out who to call when what happens. That way no one has butt-hurt feelings and the ball sack nibbling can end before the women in the room start to feel deprived since they can't have any of that." Fury glared. "I have knock out gas on me like usual whenever I have to talk to you, Fury. Want me to use it?"

"Please don't," the president sighed. "I know you have in the past, Harris."

Xander shrugged. "It seemed to work."

Giles looked over. "How are you moving that injury that much?"

Xander grinned. "You act like this is my first gunshot wound, Giles. I have a really high pain tolerance and I've been here before. Beyond that, a lot of wrist and elbow action you're taking as shoulder action."

"How good are the drugs they have you on?" Hill asked.

Xander looked at her. "I don't take drugs. The girls would never allow me to take painkillers, Hill. I haven't had a painkiller outside a hospital setting since I was eighteen." She slumped, staring at him. "Really." He shrugged. "It happens." Stark walked in with Rogers to sit around Coulson. "Pleasure," he said with a nod to them. He handed down the agreement.

Stark nodded. "Sounds reasonable to me." He handed it back. "Girls pouting?"

"No. They agreed it was the wrong thing to do and they should not have done it and took their punishment like women. None of them whined at all. The teacher whined when she tried to stab one. She's presently hating the pretty locking room she's in and the stitches in her hip from her knife."

Steve shuddered. "Did she go off her medicine like the girls thought?"

"Oh, yes," Xander said.

Tony nodded. "I had JARVIS look at her history. She lost two other teaching jobs due to needing medicine for hallucinations and persecution complex issues. She took a two year hiatus to find the right drugs and then promptly went off them because her boyfriend said she wasn't fun anymore when he dumped her."

"Met him too," Xander said dryly. "He was trying to break into their classroom and the girls screamed in horror at him trying to get in the window. He's not real fond of the ER I bet. Especially not in the handcuffs he went in."

"I'm proud you left his wrists able to be cuffed," Giles said with a smile for him.

Xander grinned back. "Can't say the same for his legs. Especially since he told one of the girls to come help him so she could blow him. He'll probably never get to make that offer again since I might have possibly caused irreparable harm to his pubic bone area. Oops, sorry."

"Nice," Tony agreed.

Xander grinned. "Thanks."

"Can you two quit flirting now?" Fury demanded.

Xander and Tony looked at him. "Sure, blame us for some whacko marrying us off against our wills," Stark said. "Not like I attended it, signed the certificate or any other paperwork for it, or anything else."

"If they weren't hiding ours and a few others that got bribed into being, it might be nice but they are," Xander said. "Personally that alone nearly made me let that demon eat them."

"Xander," Giles chided quietly.

"I sent someone else."

"I remember. Thank you for that."

Xander shrugged. "The average person isn't a politician."

The president stared at them. "Someone...." He flapped a hand. Tony passed down the file on the attempts to get it canceled. "Oh, dear," he said. He looked at Stark. "Your CEO knows?"

"She found out when I did, right after they did it. She's not happy."

"I'm not happy, she's not happy, he's not happy. It's a party of not happy really," Xander said dryly. "If we were gay it might be a happier party and then we'd let Pepper help but not really our things."

The president closed it and nodded. "I can see that happening." He handed it back to Stark. He looked at the fighting people. "Let's do as suggested and work out who's job it really is. We had slayers there, we had O'Neill's people helping from the edges but they couldn't get in. We had SHIELD's people there."

"No, we went in on our own, sir," Steve said. "SHIELD's top people tried to use a nuclear warhead on Manhattan to stop it."

"If they were in the air, would that have actually killed them?" Xander asked Coulson.

"Possibly but it's not a certainty. There were some on the ground but I'm not sure if they're resistant to our radiation methods."

Hill cleared her throat. "Coulson, nice to have you back," she said. "How did that happen?"

O'Neill snorted. "We helped. We can do that using some alien tech." He looked at Fury. "There's a second alien Loki running around? Does that one make clones too?"

"He'd better not. He tried to take over the world. There is?" Hill and Carter traded files on that.

"Roswell grays are real," Hill said. "Huh."

Coulson nodded. "The alien Asgard I met was quite pleasant."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Fury demanded.

"We had him under a gag order," the president said. "He happened onto one of General O'Neill's pack of bad luck happening and stopped it."

"Kinda like how you found out about demons," Xander quipped with a grin for him.

"Not quite as dramatic. There were no commandos," he said blandly. "Sir?"

"You're not under it any longer, Agent Coulson. I'll let that one go with your supposed death."

"They slapped me into stasis in time," he admitted. He looked at his boss. He pulled up his files on those and handed them over. "Those, sir?"

Fury looked at them, grimacing. "I wanted to know this, Coulson."

"The president overrules you, sir."

"I realize that." He stared at him. "Are you coming back?"

"We've offered him a great job helping me," Xander said. "The girls could learn a lot from him. Better pay, benefits, all the playing in the sun time he could want. The girls fussing over any future injuries. A unit command spot for any future apocalypse battles." He tossed an envelope down to Giles. Who read it over, nodding. "Share that with O'Neill, Giles. Some of his enemies are helping." He looked at Fury. "Can you really put out a better offer than over a hundred girls that critically need what he can teach them so they can help save the earth?"

"We have all his agents," Fury said.

"We've tended offers to any Avengers member that presently doesn't have another job." Xander smiled. "The girls really look up to Agents Barton and Romanoff, and Captain Rogers is excellent at helping them with not only their physical conditioning but also their moral and ethical education that sometimes gets a bit slippery when you're hunting. We can even put Doctor Banner on as our on-call physician for the training center." Fury gaped. Xander smiled back. "We need one."

"You do," Hill agreed. "Where is the medical bay?"

"Basement," Coulson said. "It's very nice. I almost went back to it willingly." She grimaced. Every SHIELD agent tried to escape from medical sooner than they needed to. It was a well hated department within the agency.

"Our girls adore ours," Giles said. "But we could also use another physician and probably two more nurses." Xander nodded at that.

"We could put you all under the same agency," the president said.

"I and the slayers will never work for any political group. Especially not one that wanted to nuclear bomb Manhattan," Xander said bluntly. "We would destroy them and then walk over their ashes as we went back to our lives."

The president nodded. "I can agree with that. I don't like their Security Council anyway. If I had heard before I did about that bomb, I might've had to bomb his heli carrier to make sure it couldn't leave."

"I blew up my own person and their plane to make sure one didn't but a second launched, sir," Fury said. "I tried."

"I realize that. Otherwise Harris would've had you eaten by something before you got near the slayers again." Xander nodded. "Did you have that senator from Minnesota taken out?"

"No," he said with a grin. "His granddaughter's boyfriend did because he called him a worthless piece of shit."

"Ah, so he didn't like hearing the truth. The one from Arkansas?"

"I know who did it and why but I'm not going to comment," Xander said. "I didn't ask, offer, order, suggest, anything like that. I know why and who though. When they finally figure it out, there's going to be a riot." The president glared. Xander leaned over to hiss in his ear. The president took a calming breath and hummed as it got let out. "So yeah, not commenting."

"No, I wouldn't either. I'll steer them in that direction and tell them to keep it silent."

Xander nodded. "Might be a good idea. I've already moved the slayers from that area and the other one just in case. I'm told the police in Minnesota have a clue about what happened though."

"That's reasonable." He looked at him. "Other area?"

"Um.... New Orleans. Probably within a week. I can't stop it. I've tried. The slayers have tried. It's not working."

Giles cleared his throat. "Have I heard?"

"Yes. Moira said she sent you that report."

"Oh, her. Oh, dear." He nodded. "We're keeping our girls out of that."

Xander nodded. "Yes I am." Tony looked at him. "You know Moira, Tony."

"I think I do, yes."

"You met her mommy?"

"Yup, her mom's the gypsy wannabe...oh, no."

"Oh, yes. We've already warned their PD and all that. There's nothing we can do and the demons down there don't want involved. When it goes witch-on-witch we'll need a few disaster plans but we can't stop it. It's not our job and even when we tried they told us it wasn't our job."

"Those sort won't listen to the Devon Coven or the other senior covens," Giles agreed. "They've tried to broker a peace deal."

"So did Moira," Xander agreed. "She's related to one of the sides. That's why I approved her going to Belize."

The president nodded. "The locals know?"

"We sent out our standard warning letter," Xander said. "We talked to the Mayor with Moira while she called us. We talked to the head of the PD. We're going to have to stop it when it starts and that's probably going to mean a few deaths we don't want of witches unless Willow goes down there to scare them stupid during it."

"I hadn't thought of that," Giles admitted. "I'll tell her to be prepared. She and Kennedy might like to move down there to head the research house."

Xander shook his head. "They won't like Kennedy any more than the other girls do, Giles. The Tiny Terrors consider her why the higher girls are mean. If they do decide to move down there, make them do tourist things so they 'fall in love' with the city after the fight. Otherwise they'll consider her pushing her weight around and they'll band together to attack her."

"I'll make that note. Willow's parents moved down there." Xander gave him a pointed look. "Her father's teaching at LSU?"

"Bit away," Tony said. "Xander, send down a diplomatic party."

Xander considered it. Then he grinned and nodded. "I'll send down a few of the girls with them." Tony grinned back. Xander sent that message to Beth and Faith. "Faith needs a vacation," he decided.

"Especially since she's healing many cuts and bruises thanks to an attack on her house." Xander stared at him. "The old Council."

"I heard some of that." Giles tossed him down an envelope so he could read it, and let Tony have it at the end. "Any left?"

"No. Agent Romanoff has been very helpful making sure that everyone was not involved. Thank you for the lending, Director Fury."

"I wasn't aware I had but that's fine," he agree. "They all gone?" Xander nodded. "Good! We have way too many people with plans, we don't need more."

O'Neill shook his head. "I know Summers and her boyfriend had to go help that day. We're sure everything's fixed?"

"Yup. He's been helping the older girls spar," Xander said. "Thank you for the lending, General. He's been helpful showing the girls new things. We'd eventually like to keep the ones Dawn's training to follow in my brilliant footsteps." O'Neill looked confused. "Perkins, Sheppard, and Lorne?"

"Perkins is an egotistical jackass," Carter said. "Why would you want him?"

"He grew up in a hunting family. He knows exactly what being a slayer means," Xander said. "He's got a half-sister that's one of us too." She slumped but nodded. "Sheppard has been trained by Dawn so that when she's the head of the Council, after myself, that he can be her counterpoint and handle the battles plus the training necessities. Evan Lorne has been looking fantastic to follow him there. The slayers Dawn's introduced to him seem to instantly respect him and he's got just enough crazy to have things work and enough uptight to keep the girls from slipping. We'd like to see Mitchell but we think it might drive him nuts."

"It would most of us," Carter agreed.

Hill nodded. "Most of our agency as well. That's why we let Coulson handle it."

"It has led to many interesting cases," Coulson said dryly.

"You're the only one who can handle their screwiness," Fury said to Coulson. "Or apparently O'Neill's."

"It's not every day you get to blow up a sun to take out an enemy," Stark said, looking at Carter, who had winced. "We should probably never let you and Thor meet. Just in case something bad happens and you have to team up. I'm not sure how he'd feel about your enemies beyond disliking the wraith a lot."

"Speaking as a guy who dated an actual Norse chick who was around when the Gods were around, in whichever format that was at the time, I think they'd be horrified at the Ori. They definitely do not uphold the honor codes of Odin's rule. And they wouldn't like the bad things Odin did either."

Fury gaped. "What?" he demanded. That was followed by O'Neill's echo of it.

"Anya, when she was alive and human the first time, was Norse," Xander said with a grin. "Then she spent just over eleven hundred years as a vengeance demon before she got fired and rehumaned."

"I asked her," Coulson said. "She said they were human at that time. She had met Thor once. He agreed with her about the bunnies being creepy."

"Ahn did hate bunnies," Xander agreed.

Giles shook his head. "I will hopefully never cease to wonder at the connections Xander makes," he told the other leaders there to complain at each other. "Between the ones who have wanted to date him, his kitten poker contacts, and some others I have no idea how he made," he said with a hand-wave at Tony. "It's always amusing and possibly inspiring." Xander smiled at him for that compliment.

O'Neill looked at Xander then at Fury. Then at the president. "Can we work this out without Harris?"

"Fuck you," Xander said with a grin. "Because the slayers are my girls and I'll kill you all over them in ways that will make the slayers beg to see if I'm possessed again." Tony burst out laughing. "And if he thinks I'm kidding he's wrong." Tony winced but nodded at that. "I will protect the slayers with my lives and yours."

"I don't want to hurt the girls but shouldn't soldiers be taking care of it?"

"Sure, please have each one of your soldiers adopt one of the girls so they can protect them when things come to kill them for the sin of being born with a mole that marks them for inclusion into the sisterhood of slayers." O'Neill grimaced at that. "We've had a lot of orphans so if they're worthwhile people like Colonel Sheppard, I might not mind if some of them adopted some of the girls. Of course, they would still have to meet up to our guidelines for schooling, training, and health matters but I'm not that big of a meanie on it."

O'Neill looked at him. "I know a few who are looking to adopt."

Xander smiled. "Look at what a slayer is first. Then if they're worthy and willing to take that sort of long-term view of their kids, then I'm all for it as long as they're good people and none of the sort that keep haunting your group come after them. I've already killed three NID people in the last year for coming after the baby slayers. We don't want to see any more of them."

"Neither do it," O'Neill said. Now he was seeing why the kid was scary. "How did they die?"

"The wards got them and I had to end one before she screamed loud enough to draw attention from the wards slowly eating up her legs to her head. We don't take chances on the girls' safety. The wards around the training center and the houses are *all* dangerous if breached. Being in danger on patrol is one thing. Being in danger at home is another. Speaking of, Giles, I had Dawn disclude Penelope's boyfriend last night because he's a douchebag."

"What did he do?"

"Penelope, Giles. You know Penelope."

"Oh, yes, her." He grimaced. "The poor, sweet girl has tastes like yours, Xander. How bad is he?"

"Tried to pimp her out." Giles shuddered. "She called up crying to talk to Beth so they talked then I talked to her. Then I had Dawn eliminate him so if he even touches the wards it'll attack him."

"Good. I do not like her dates." He rubbed an eyebrow. "We do need to find her a good boyfriend. Her mother would surely agree."

Coulson nodded. "She does live at home, doesn't she?"

"Yes and she's sixteen next week," Xander said. "We're sending her a great set of knives for her birthday." Giles smiled at him for that. It meant he didn't have to find her a present.

"You have wards around her house?" O'Neill asked.

"Yes. Because things come for slayers so they can't bother their plans," Xander said bluntly. "I'll be damned if I leave little girls vulnerable to shit like that without working my hardest to make sure they're protected for being born a little bit different."

"I can agree it's a good thing. Do her parents mind?"

"No. The girls who are still at home all have parents who know, who understand, who help them train or at least support them in their training. Any that were social services cases, in some cases very bad ones, we have custody of to make sure they're safe. Including one who's at Boston College now. Her mother tried to burn her at the stake for making dark deals with demons and turning her back on her mother's chosen god."

O'Neill shuddered. "Muslim?"

"Catholic. Most of the Red Slayers, as they call themselves, have pretty well banded together. Their countries do know about us, have always known about us. They've found ways of working around the restrictions or have asked to go places that are safer for them to work in. We've since stopped the bullying by one of the older girls over their attire but we've worked with a fashion designer who works with very modest fashions for Orthodox Jewish women to help design them a patrol uniform they can use as a template. He understood the needs of their duty and what it would mean if they got tangled up in their clothes.

"They've got a little support system going inside the overall support system. They write each other all the time. The two who're married have husbands who understand. Their parents weren't going to mention it but we basically got them slightly kidnaped to talk to them about what being a slayer meant. It ruined one wedding but his cousin wanted her instead even more than her original suggested spouse so everyone was happy. Their chosen religious representatives know about them and their calling in case they need help with something that requires a holy implement. The ones that are Catholic get the same sort of help when they run into religion versus duty conflicts. We have a few priests that they can talk to who know."

"That's good," Hill agreed. "I know one of the slayers in Egypt had a few troubles around the protests but she's safe?"

"She is. She wanted to take part and did when she could but they reminded her that slayers were not to be political and there would be damage done to those who were there. Which there was. She's helped on the side when she could. We fully support her helping on the side. Every one of the girls has things they feel strongly about. Her included. If she's in danger, we'll rescue her and let her pick a new spot to protect. Her husband may not like that as much but oh well."

Giles smiled. "I did talk to her yesterday. She said she's doing fine. The demon problems have been hiding from everything. Someone tried to kidnap her husband so she blew them up?"

Xander smiled. "Foreign slayer arsenals have to include things that can help them if one of us with more weapons experience can't get there. The local police know about that. Did she have a problem? I hadn't heard anything about it."

"No, she said they asked her why and she told them. Then she told them she was a slayer and outside all that mess. She had to protect everyone, even the ones she hated. Some of the more restrictive people hate that."

Xander nodded. "The offer for her to move to Tunisia, Morocco, or even Greece stands. I will go help her move."

"The people she works with are protecting her. I called a few contacts and they were promising me that if they tried to retaliate against her she'd be moved. They did not want to make you come harm the ones who harmed her like you did the one in Iran."

Xander smirked. "He deserved it."

"He did," Giles agreed. "He harmed his daughter for daring to be born." He shrugged. "His family agreed. They disowned him."

"She's fine by the way. The rehab for her injuries is going well."

"Good. I haven't had a chance to touch base with her. I'll do that later." He made himself a note.

"Are you like the avenging angel of the Council?" Fury demanded.

Xander smiled. "No, I'm their normal guy backup person. To some of the younger ones I'm a role model and hero because I'm not a slayer and I do the same job, which inspires them."

Hill nodded. "You have been an inspiration to many, Harris. Including some lower agents who got a bit mouthy but handled things as you would. Would you please show them how to use less weapons?"

"I love weapons but have they learned how to use a battle axe and a sword yet?"

Hill nodded. "I let them sign up for lessons when they asked."

He grinned. "Cool. When they retire would they make good field watchers?"

"Perhaps," she admitted. "I'll ask them if that's in their plans. If so I might help them with their retirement paperwork and the transfer over."

"We do have training manuals for agents who end up dealing with supernatural things most often," Giles said. "We can gladly give you a few of the training modules so you can train your people to aid you and those who want to become watchers can come for the more comprehensive course."

"I think some may like that," Agent Hill decided, looking at Fury.

"If it means that one female quits running into succuba, I'm for it as an optional training module."

Coulson cleared his throat. "Agent Behreva runs into them because a few are flirting with her, sir. I have noted it to her in the past and she simply blushes and walks off."

"I don't care if she's a lesbian but I don't want her to be killed by a date, Coulson."

"Not all succuba *have* to feed," Xander said. "The older ones can pick and choose when to feed. The older ones have ones that have regular jobs and date regular people, they just feed subtly when they need some."

Hill blinked. "I didn't know that. We must only run into younger ones then."

"Probably," Xander agreed. "Like older vampires, they have hunting grounds and methods set up to not draw attention to themselves. I know two succuba who work as social workers. They only feed off the ones that the system needs to take out and can't."

"That is a method I approve of," Fury said. He nodded. "Damn good idea."

Hill nodded. "I like it as well. It's just and better for humanity."

Tony smirked. "I know two incubuses within SHIELD who only feed on targets you give them, Hill."

"I'm aware of one and that's why I send him at those, Stark."

"Not the one you think," Tony said. She wrote down a name and folded over the paper so he could read it. He shook his head. "Xander?"

He looked and nodded. "He is one. I know his big brother. We play poker now and then, but he flirts." Tony tore up the paper with a grin. "He mentioned his brother was doing that sort of thing and enjoys it a lot. He thinks they taste really good."

Hill nodded, smiling slightly. "Good to know. If they could come to me I can more openly assist them in that manner."

"I'll let them know," Stark quipped. Steve looked at him. "It's them or Romanoff."

"I think that's a bad comparison, Tony." Steve shook his head. "She probably wouldn't like it at all."

"She might enjoy being compared to a succuba with age, skill, and stealth," Xander said. "Many girls do like that comparison in the bedroom." Tony nodded with a grin. He leaned over to hit him on the arm. "For sending Merideth at me."

"Welcome," Tony quipped.

Giles moaned, shaking his head. "I remember her. Please have better taste for him, Mr. Stark."

"She liked weapons and so does he."

"I got a new sword from her," Xander said with a grin. "We sharpened it together as foreplay."

O'Neill shook his head. "Are there any like you in my group, Harris?"

"He's rather unique," Giles said.

"Only two and Dawn's dating one," Xander quipped. "The other's behind him to be our future leader."

O'Neill nodded. "Sure, I can like that. Thanks."

"Welcome." He grinned.

Tony smirked back. "Rhodes wanted to set you up with one of his coworkers."

"How bad girl is she?" Xander asked, shifting to cross his feet.

"I don't know. I've never met her. I think he thinks she'll straighten you out."

"Then she'd probably never be attracted to me. Only bad girls and boys are."

Tony nodded. "Which is why I'm not. I'm a good boy most of the time."

Steve looked at him. Then shook his head. "I'm not going to comment."

"Ditto," Coulson said. "Or mention Las Vegas last year." Xander gave him a pointed look. "His, not yours, Harris."

"That was him?" Hill demanded with a point at Xander.

"The thirteen showgirls that turned out to be a coven of girls killing other showgirls to sacrifice them to stay young and pretty?" Tony said. "Yeah, that was his vacation. Well, the first week of his vacation. The second week was the commando convention, right?"

"Not a convention of them. Just a team on vacation. They thought I was funny until they found out I was the one who had prevented them from getting killed by a huge demon by trapping them in a huge pit because they were trying to kill me for the Army again. Then they bought me drinks all week and we had fun."

Hill winced, rubbing her forehead.

"Week three was the grenade juggling incident," Coulson told her.

"That was their going away party," Xander corrected. "But I did get picked up by a pair of twins. Cute blonde girls, long pretty hair, looked like they could be Playboy Bunnies. Deadly as shit," he said with a smile. "Tried to double team me to kill me in bed all week. It was a great last week of my vacation and they had fun too."

Fury looked at Hill. "The Sentra sisters, sir," she said.

"Oh, them. Aren't there three?"

"One was having a girl moment so she watched and helped them plan their attacks," Xander said with a smile for him. "I offered but she was kind of a prude about that. They even told me who had the price on my head that time. I'm told they decided they were now failures and retired to Cancun to run a strip club for tourists."

Tony nodded. "That's what I heard too and they're very pretty girls. I accidentally visited there. They hired some other pretty girls."

"Mostly ones who wanted to kill guys and couldn't," Xander said. "From their training academy mostly."

Coulson looked at Xander then at Stark. "Address?" He wrote it down for him. "I'll have it looked into in case they manage to start killing people again."

Hill took it from him. "You're not back on duty yet," she said dryly.

"Ivana, the middle of the three, really likes oral sex but the last one, Michelle, hates it," Xander said. "She only likes manual teasing for foreplay." Coulson covered Xander's mouth. "Fine," he mumbled.

"I'm fairly certain Agent Hill won't be using those methods to interrogate them but if so, you can give her tips after the meeting," Coulson said. He let Xander go.

Hill made a note of that. "I'll send down a male agent."

"Send two, yours are small," Xander quipped. "And really pathetic in bed from what I've heard hissed around the poker circuit." Tony burst out laughing. "They are! They're all grunt, get in, get out, not paying any attention at all to their partner's needs from what I've heard. At least I get my girls off first. Anya trained me well in that area. She got her five and I got mine."

Giles shook his head. "Xander, not now," he ordered.

"Sorry. I still miss her some days."

Hill was blushing. So were Carter and the president. "I've never had a boyfriend that did that," Carter mumbled.

"Carter!" O'Neill yelped.

"Sorry, sir, slipped out. Didn't mean to say that out loud."

Giles smiled at her. "I wouldn't mind if you tried to date him but do be aware that only the most deadly usually like him. We'd all like Xander to settle down with a nice girlfriend or boyfriend some year soon."

Carter blushed a bit brighter. "I'll consider that as I'm dangerous but not that way usually."

"I'll ask Thor, see if he knows any," Tony decided.

Xander smiled at him. "Thanks, Tony."

"Welcome, Xander."

"Jeez, and they save us and the world," O'Neill told Fury.

"Now I know why some of yours considered Harris that dangerous," Fury said.

"Mostly it's because Xander has went from sex to killing an intruder with some unusual object, and then back to the sex without caring," Coulson said.

"I cared but not that much and his partner was begging for help from their backup so I had some time to kill," Xander said. "Spies shouldn't barge into my room to take me out."

O'Neill looked at Fury. "Yours?"

"No. We have a 'no touching' clause on Harris. Or we did until his file disappeared," he said with a glare at Stark.

"It was wrong anyway," Tony said dryly. "Somehow they got him confused with Robin Woods a few times."

"I'm nothing like Robin," Xander said, looking confused at Fury. "How did you do that?"

"I didn't do it," he defended. "Some of my people are idiots."

"They decided Xander was less than trained so therefore he couldn't do what someone with full training could," Coulson said. "I then introduced them to why they were wrong, sir, and let them correct themselves while they were healing."

"Was that when you were testing my reflexes after Africa?" Xander asked.

"Yes," Coulson said with a slight smile. "You did a very good job, Xander." Xander grinned at him. "You took down six of the seven agents in under covert agent time and the other in under regulation time by our rules. They were all fairly well trained in different styles of martial arts and you handled their individual styles well." Xander shifted but was blushing a bit at the compliments. "I do think you should perhaps learn a few more of them so you're more widely able to handle different styles, like Eskrima or other minor weapons-based styles instead of the sword or just the hand-to-hand styles."

"I've been taking lessons with the minis."

"Good. It can only help them and you the next time you date."

"The last one wanted to puddling wrestle. Not exactly a battle." Coulson patted him on the arm.

"Yup, they're all insane," O'Neill complained.

"Says the guy with the clone, the stargate, and the aliens who want to eat him," Xander quipped back with a grin. "And the space ships."

"I wondered how they couldn't get farther back than the satellite you bounced off of to get their medical records," Fury said. "Are the others all right?"

"They're healing. It'll take a bit," O'Neill said. "That was McKay."

Hill considered it. "Doctor Meredith Rodney McKay?" Hill asked. O'Neill nodded. "We noted when he fell off the radar since some of his work looked interesting in a bad way."

"He's our head scientist on Atlantis. How did you know about the ships and the gate?" he asked Xander.

"Poker," Xander said. "I knew before you met Dawn. That's why I suggested she might like to go there. That you guys studied things that tripped her happy switch."

O'Neill sighed, looking at Fury. "Did he do that to you?"

"Yes. We've found two agents that were suggested by Harris."

"They were part of my former pack," Xander said. "I thought it might do their remaining urges good."

"They're decent agents," Fury agreed. "What pack?"

"When I got possessed by the hyena matriarch, they got possessed by members of her pack."

"I have that noted in your file," Hill said. "I did not realize they were there." Xander grinned and nodded. "Interesting. That explains their hunting styles, sir."

"It does." He considered it. "Matriarch?"

"Hyenas are matriarchal," O'Neill said dryly. He looked at Xander. "Is that why you're the favorite house parent of the mini slayers?"

"That and I'm not uptight, I insist they play as well as do homework, I help them with problems without solving them for them most of the time, and I'm the coolest big brother ever. I let them play in the mud and the rain, I let them import new peaceful and protective demonic animal species. Hell, I let one of them bring three unicorns that hate me for being a guy."

Tony grinned. "Steve's the only one they stare at in wonder. I need to introduce them to Thor."

Coulson looked at him. "I doubt Thor could pet them, Stark. Most warrior cultures don't really prize virginity."

"I am not!" Steve complained.

"I know," Coulson said with a slight grin. "The unicorns probably like you for that same reason that boys look up to you." Steve blushed.

"Probably. That essence of wholesome goodness," Tony agreed. Xander poked him, rolling his eyes. "He knows I pick, Xander."

"Yeah, then you get punched back," he said dryly, giving him a look. "Keep it up, I'll give one of the girls the ability to be your sidekick."

"No thank you. I can't imagine an Iron Lady on the team."

"Then never piss off Willow again," Giles said blandly. "She was most upset that whoever set you two up didn't make you realize that you could be compatible."

"We're not. We're really not," Tony said. "He hates science and it's my only acknowledged Goddess. Outside Pepper at times. They were smoking the funny drugs."

"If Willow turns you into a girl, I'm pretty sure you'll at least have some fun with it," Xander said. Tony swatted him.

"Children," Coulson said. "I can't imagine how he'd do the suits while under hormonal mandates so let's not encourage Miss Rosenburg to keep thinking such thoughts," he said with a look at Giles.

"Buffy talked her out of it. Said if Xander had wanted him and he was dangerous enough for him there would've been relations by now because Xander could be like that. Apparently she considers his sex life a bit slutty and kinky." Xander looked at him. "No comments please about Angel or Spike."

"Or Captain Commando?" Xander said dryly. "Can't get much kinkier than dating a torturer."

"Or him. She's shown decent taste recently. She's dating a college senior."

"What's wrong with him?" Xander asked.

"I haven't found anything yet. It's almost worrying me. Like if you dated someone normal."

"I have dated a few normal people. What do you call Cordelia?" He pulled out his phone. "Name?" Giles handed over a picture of the guy's ID from his wallet. Xander looked him up and burst out laughing, showing it to Hill. She groaned and sent a message to him to confess who he was to his girlfriend, the slayer. Xander sent a note to Buffy's phone to talk about slaying with him since he already knew. "Well, that explains a lot," Xander decided. He put his phone away. Hill did the same and shook her head. "Is he suitable for her?"

"Probably. He won't balk at her duty and might like to go on patrolling dates."

"Cool. She could use a good boyfriend to cure the cobwebs and the pinched look she continually wears these days."

"Xander!" Giles complained. "That is uncalled for."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"Fine. Sorry, everyone, that was probably TMDI to use a Fury-ism."

"Must you swear?" Carter asked politely.

"Yes. It's the first language I learned, even before English." Carter grimaced.

"That's why Pepper nearly got you put into the system," Tony quipped. "Though, don't you speak like six languages, Xander, and you had to resort to Fury's language of choice?" Xander looked at him and said something in a demon language he knew. Giles turned bright red. Tony translated that on his tablet and blushed. "Yeah, not likely. Try Barton?"

"He's nice," he admitted. "If he might like me I might not mind."

Coulson smiled at him and nodded. "I'll see if he might be thinking that way."

"He's probably in the senior gym. I showed him my spot in the tree but he likes one in the grating."

"That's his usual style," Coulson agreed.

"If so, I'll put up a harder divorce challenge," Tony said quietly, getting a grin from Xander. "If Anya had been good for you I would've tried back then."

"I know. But it was good in other ways."

"Yeah, kind of. Not fully though. Your real girlfriend should never embarrass you in public or push you into doing things that are felonies in some states in the park."

"She only ever pushed for butt sex in the park, when did that become a felony?" Xander asked, looking confused.

"XANDER!" Giles chided loudly overtop of him.

"Sorry. Slipped back into old Xander. Old Xander got to be blunt. New Xander has to be less blunt due to children being around.

"You mentioned something about that really expensive birthday present and a collar on the playground?" Tony asked dryly.

"Oh. But that was at night, no kids around when she wanted to. Of course, Sunnydale had vampires and she didn't care but I just couldn't with them staring. Not even performance anxiety, just hating vampires. The only thing that got happy that night was the stake. She pouted for days that it ruined it. I had to take her to the Merry Widow Club for that pout."

Tony shuddered. "Ewww. I know that sex club."

"It was her thing, not mine," Xander said with a hand flap in the air. "I guess over eleven-hundred years you learn stuff like that."

Coulson was even blushing a bit at that. Captain Rogers was bright red, so was the president and Colonel Carter. O'Neill and Fury both looked uncomfortable and Giles shrugged when they looked at him. "I heard worse from Anya herself pouting about things, gentlemen and ladies. She was beyond blunt about her love of that subject. However we should be talking about safety issues, not Xander's rather amusing love life traumas."

Fury looked at O'Neill. "If we have an Avengers level mission with aliens causing us hell, jump the fuck in," he said.

O'Neill nodded. "Ours tend to be off-world but if we have something going on down here, I'll call to see if you want to help." They shook hands and left, their seconds-in-command following them.

The president smiled at Xander. "Thank for you making that go more smoothly," he said quietly.

"You're welcome." He grinned at Giles. "You forgot to pay me this month. Again. Also, Coulson found Kelsey a therapist in Manhattan."

"Wonderful, thank you. We had worried a lot about her." He stood up, grabbing his crutches. "Let me hop home. Xander, I'll have that fixed later. Mr. Stark, do fight that problem of yours. We would all adore seeing Xander finally able to settle down in a real relationship if possible and since you don't seem inclined.... it's not really fair to either of you." He left.

Steve Rogers looked at Xander. "How did you use that tactically?"

"Both of them annoy the crap out of me. Both of them act like the girls are shit on a stick and not worthy of their thought when we handle a lot more than both of them do weekly. We handle more apocalypse battles, we handle more daily battles, we handle more problems. And yet, we're not worthy of their help." Xander looked at him. "The real warriors and leaders never discount an asset even if they're young, they're disabled, or they're in training. If they're that needed there then they'll find a way to work it in or for them to help the fight in some better way. Like the two girls who have Downs Syndrome. They both make a lot of stuff for the girls to cheer them on. Cards and letters and sometimes sheathes for knives for the holidays. The girls appreciate the hell out of them and they're the first ones most of the girls call after real battles that hit the news to make sure they don't worry. I do the same thing. Giles never thinks about it and Buffy just gets this goofy grin while she lets Faith handle it. Do you think Fury would do that?"

"No. He'd see the disability not the ability," Steve said.

Xander nodded. "O'Neill's a general but he's always been about the military side, not the academics. The project he's over had an enormous academic potential and yes, they needed the military advantages. They totally discounted the academic side time and again until it gave them something great and special, Atlantis. And then they ignored it some more. The ones that have gone behind their backs to study it anyway and talk to the people so they could learn their histories and their ways have made *immense* notes historically and in other areas that they still discount. Because what would a Greek war between the Gods help them any? Outside the fact that it mentions a weapon that Sheppard could find if he tried really hard that would wipe out the whole Ascended pantheon of bullshit."

He grinned. "Dawn showed him that and he thinks he's found it but it's deeply tied up with wraith that they can't get through yet. The wraith made sure the humans couldn't get it back from them. And yet, they will. Because Dawn can do things the Ancients never considered. They may have seen demons and overthrown demons that used to control this plane, but they never considered their things more than interesting. Even if they stole them to build from. There's whole weapons that they used as prototypes that they set aside because it took magic to use. Ones that are strong enough to end that war with the wraith. Dawn's found a lot and had a few geeks helping her figure out how to use them properly. And yet, it's not a military solution because it's academic."

Sam Carter walked in. "I've seen some of those. Prove magic works."

"What makes you think I have magic?" Xander asked. "Dawn has magic. Willow has magic. Magic tends to go screwy around me, Colonel." He stared at her. "Then again, you know that. That's why you have that thing on your ear." She rubbed that 'mole'. "Dawn said you needed a kick in the head. Apparently she made the foot too tiny?"

"No. That wasn't a foot, it was a mole."

"That moved on its own," Stark said dryly. "I'm the most technological person around, Carter. I've seen McKay's stuff and laughed at the weakness in his theories. And yet I've seen magic work."

Xander nodded. "That's how I got here today." He patted himself down and pulled out a small locket, looking at it before he closed it. He, Stark, Rogers, and Coulson all disappeared from their seats to land in the training center. "Let her explain that to herself," he said, tucking the locket back into his pocket and walking off. "The stuff Dawn's been translating from the demon societies is on the east wall, Stark." He pointed. "Coulson, look at the maroon book. It's a history one and has a few things you might want to look at. I have girls assigned to the spots helping college researchers that are friends of slayers." He grinned back at him. "I'll be damned if something like O'Neill runs is going to hurt the girls." He went into his study.

Coulson nodded. "He does actually do a very good job of all that." He found the maroon book and pulled it down to look at. "Ah, on the old Empires." He settled in to look it over. Bruce and Tony were looking at the other things. Steve was staring at a few that had art examples.

***

Dawn walked into O'Neill's office when he called. "You rang, General?"

"What the hell are you doing with magic in my mountain?"

"Making you a weapon that can end the wraith." She stared at him. "It's from one of the ancient demon societies that the Ancients discounted but overthrew for not being their sorts. They just used their shit to tinker from like McKay uses things from Atlantis." O'Neill's mouth flopped open. "The Council has always known about them. We've had people doing digs in probable locations under seemingly harmless supposed excavations for centuries. Thankfully the real Research Council wasn't in the building that blew up. Most of them were killed but Willow and I were able to resurrect their studies that were important to the girls today, and some side projects.

"Which is what led me to the weapon the wraith are hoarding away from us. It's meant to kill ascended that might attack Atlantis, meaning the Ori." O'Neill shivered. "We think they broke it, we're pretty sure, but I'm also pretty sure McKay can make it work if he has the original pieces. They might have removed a few they thought were important but it was based on demonic magical tech from another realm." She put down what she had. "I've kept it in the original language because you have a bunch of assholes down there." She handed over a translated copy. "That's what John's been working from to get the weapon."

O'Neill read it over. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you're too much military to ever see the use in a weapon that's not run by bullets or some similar method," she said bluntly. "You haven't wanted to see any weapon that wasn't created by Carter for years. So we're doing it behind her back until we can prove it works by saving Atlantis and Pegasus. Which is what needs to be done."

"Sheppard still should've told me."

"And you would've called it a crackhead Ancient fairytale. I believe those were your exact words." She called her laptop in to look at that email. "Ah, there it is." She held it out so he could see it. "He had me refute it to McKay so he knew what it was in his usual version of science speak."

O'Neill blinked at his message to Sheppard. "It is."

"It's not. Rodney?" she called. He came in a minute later. "Sorry to bug you. He wants to know the status of the God Killer weapon as you've named it."

"We know it's exact location. It's underneath a defunct hive ship that they consider an untouchable space for some reason. They do not allow anything or anyone near it. They've clear-cut the area so not even dust goes there. They've turned the ground into glass." He considered it. "I'm not sure how we'd do it."

"Unless I can physically see it I can't move it," she reminded him. She looked back and floated Sam Carter away from the door. She looked out there with a grin. "You wanted to see magic work? Floating spells are the first spell our type of witches learn too."

"Quit wearing yourself out. I want to test the new hand unit later."

"Yes, Rodney." She dropped Carter into a chair. "Xander always said: use whatever skills you have as if they're weapons. A clever mind is just as much a weapon as a set of really strong muscles are. You use whatever you are competent in as a weapon because it means you live when others don't want you to."

"How do you know if you're competent?" O'Neill asked by reflex.

"You try things. I tried three martial arts before I realize I'm a sucktastic physical fighter. I can do some weapons better. That's why I trained in fencing, a petite lady's axe, and with my big goddamn stick."

Rodney laughed. "I remember when someone asked you why you were carrying something that had 'BGDS' on it. Then you twirled it, knocked him out, then twirled it back into place and said it's your big goddamn stick in case you run into something that needed hit." She grinned at him. "I like the stick."

"So do I. Having a staff has come in handy a number of times." He nodded she was right. The general was looking pissed off. "You hired me because I knew ancient languages, and I do. I know them forwards and backwards, but I also know a few others that weren't probably going to be pertinent here until I started to run into familiar areas. Then I asked the girls we know have friends who go on digs to feed me stuff they found as well, even if they didn't consider it important. Which led to an ancient demon city that housed a bazaar and a gladiator-like arena. Where we found some ancient weapons that may just be more helpful than anyone realized. Just because the Ancients didn't see a use doesn't mean there's not one. Snotty proto-humans didn't see a use in a lot of things that they destroyed. Same as some humans have." She shrugged. "We in the Council find them damn useful at times because it's our lives if we screw up."

"We do the same thing here," O'Neill said.

Dawn laughed and took her laptop to log onto a site and put in a password quickly. "This is Rodney's password." She let him see it, running the video. "That blacked out battle in LA five years ago."

He stared, mouth open. "They're what?"

"They're invading to take down the earth so it can be reverted to demonic control. We have one of those sort of heavy apocalypse battles every few years. We have one coming up and it's in LA so a lot of the girls will have nightmares. I need to get a few of these weapons figured out before then because it could mean the difference in us having a seven hour battle or having a two hour one." She shifted her weight. "That sort of battle is also why our slayers in New York just bounced into the battle up there when it happened without panicking and calling everyone on deck. Because they knew they couldn't really get there in time. They all know how to judge battles to spot a weak spot they can exploit or handle. Frankly, those aliens were bad but the ones that came through that portal were looking to nibble on humans like we're candy. I kinda think that's worse than the wraith. Being actually eaten is worse than being drained."

Rodney nodded. "It is and the first crunch is always the worst, especially if they don't start with the ears." He shuddered. Dawn patted him on the arm.

O'Neill turned off the video and looked at her. "How long have you known about us before you got here?"

"Xander told me you guys were studying neat shit that I might like in the language areas. He knew I liked it, planned on making it my career. And he was right, I do. I have since I got here and then I found sprinkles to spread on top of my happies with the languages. I wasn't a plant from the Council if that's what you're asking. Actually he was kinda hoping I'd be less kidnaped here," she finished dryly. "My sister hates it when I get kidnaped."

O'Neill shook his head. "I want to see these new weapons." She looked at Rodney.

"Meet us by the trees, O'Neill." He walked off with her. They came up topside and out into the forest around the base. He unpacked the hand unit, handing it to Dawn. "Try for a single tree. I've been fine tuning the aim."

She correctly checked it over then aimed it at a tree, changing her stance so she was more balanced in case it kicked. She concentrated and pulled up a tiny bit of magic, letting the weapon have it to blast a wide swath of trees for a good thousand meters. "We need to have someone lower powered try it," she said. "Someone more normal level." She looked back. "Willow, come try this. You can get a finer focus point on your magic."

"I can. I can hit a single candle across the room and you'd set the wall on fire." She took it to look at. "Demon tech?"

"Yup."

"Okay." She checked it over. "Would the Goddess like this?"

"You'd rather be eaten?" Dawn asked.

"No." She put it on her hand like Dawn showed her and concentrated. She hit a few trees in a smaller arc that only went about twenty feet past where she wanted. "It has an amplifier?"

"Yeah. For the barely skilled set," Dawn said. "There's a lot more that can barely light a candle or float a spoon to stir a potion than there are the powerful ones like you turned into. Someone like Belinda could use it to defend herself during an apocalypse battle without much effort and wear."

"True. Let me get her." She handed the weapon back and went to grab one of the Devon Coven witches, bringing her back with her. "It's really ancient demon, like the originating lines demons, weapon, Belinda."

Dawn pointed. "It's to defend or help during an apocalypse battle, Belinda. Just use it to hit a tree please."

"Must I?" she asked. "They're living things, Dawn."

"Okay." She spotted something. "There's some rocks. You should be able to hit them even though they're farther away." She showed her how to put it on. "Now just leak a tiny bit of power at it like you're pushing a spell at something."

Belinda tested that and nodded, letting go with it the last time she tested it. Her hand pointed at the rocks and she hit the fingertip button to fire it. It blasted the rocks and she gasped. "Oh, my!" She looked at the pile of rubble. "Oh, that's sweet. I need that for LA's upcoming one because we can close this portal by magic. I'll be able to guard the others." She looked at Dawn. Who pointed at Rodney and O'Neill.

"Yes, we can make it available for that," Rodney said. "We've got two working. The other is a staff weapon and may take more magic than not, we're not sure yet."

"There's three of us who can't really do more than float simple things, sir. It would be of immense help and allow us to help our sisters with the battles that we've chosen to help in."

He nodded. "I'll see what I can do about making more." She smiled and handed it back. "Dawn's told me some about your coven."

"Dawn's a good girl. The senior witches have never had to do more than chastize her about wearing her sister's clothes." She smiled. "Thank you, Willow. A few of us would adore being more than the bandagers this time." She patted her on the cheek. "Very sweet of you, dear. Want some tea?"

"Sure, I love tea. Kennedy hates tea." She took her home.

Dawn called out the staff weapon, checking it over then using it on a few trees. A tightly spiraled focus of power came out to blow everything to atomic motes. "It's turned up too high. That was barely a tiny bit of magic and it's turned up too high."

"We can turn it down," he said. "That way they don't hurt others." He took it to look at.

O'Neill looked at Carter, who shook her head. "We used to wonder how the Ancients came up with some of their technology, sir. I guess we know."

John Sheppard laughed. "We think it's pretty neat too. Dawn stepped onto Atlantis and she set up shrieking yells about magic but it let us into stuff they had locked up against her type." Dawn nodded. "It's helped."

"A lot," McKay agreed. "That's where we found the staff's plans."

Dawn smirked and pinched his cheek, getting swatted for it. "You found the magical vibrator too."

"I did, yes. And I promptly handed it to a few female officers who needed it." He walked off with the weapons. "I'm assuming you don't mind if I let the witches borrow things so the whole world doesn't end, O'Neill?"

"No, they can borrow, but we'll be at the same battle too," O'Neill said, staring at Dawn. "I'd like a report on all that stuff, Summers."

She grinned. "I've got a date tonight so you can have it after breakfast, General." She grinned. "And I'm not a soldier so I can kick you in the balls and then go on my date." She beamed and walked off with John, who shrugged back at the general. "I haven't had lunch or breakfast. You're feeding me."

"I can feed you," he promised with a smirk at her. "That was ballsy."

"Yeah but they met Xander earlier."

"Ah. That explains a lot."

"Sheppard, appear with her tomorrow," O'Neill ordered. "And paddle her tonight for being a mouthy brat."

"Yes, sir, she likes it like that sometimes," he quipped back. "0800, sir."

O'Neill looked at Carter. "You had no idea?"

"No, not a bit. I gave Dawn a little office at the end of a hallway by Daniel's. He might know. He's her boss."

"Let's go talk to Danny boy." They went to Daniel's office. He was looking at a projection of a ball of something. "Is that magical like something Summers pulled out of her ass earlier?" he asked.

"No, it was found on one of the Council digs earlier this week. I'm trying to figure out if it's more than symbolic."

"Did they ask?" Sam Carter asked, moving over to look. "It's like a decorative ball."

"It's in a metal I don't recognize and it's all symbols, there's no interior ball. So it couldn't have held anything and I'm leaning toward symbolic but Dawn said the words on the ball are a prayer to one of the love gods."

"Huh. One we know?" Sam asked.

"Pre-gou'ald, Sam." He looked at her and smiled. "Demon gods from other planes."

"Oh."

"This was to their version of Hera I think, if I got the classifications down right." He looked in a book. "Yeah, she was the goddess of eternal love, meaning a bonded love." He closed the book and went back to look at it. "I'm not sure if it might've been an offering or maybe it was used to surround something like an incense burner in a temple? It was found in the gladiator-like arena though. Which is odd."

"Do we have many clues about them?" Jack asked.

"Some. There's a few dimensions that have libraries that go back that far. Dawn's asked a few of Xander's demon poker contacts to see if they could ask someone for information. Right now they're considering it and why. They know of our work here, there's two of their species working on away teams, so they know it's important but they're not sure if they trust the slayers. Even though they've changed and one of their native princes is dating one of them. When I asked for cultural information and things of that nature that would help us excavate and understand cities we've found, they said that was more likely than things like weapons."

Jack nodded. "Okay, I get that. They might consider it dangerous to them."

"Yup, they do." Daniel grinned. "It's really fascinating. They've found a lot on the early Ancients that we didn't know."

"Wonderful. When were you going to report this to me?"

"Next week. I scheduled a long meeting with you for Wednesday so we could go over the things that have been found about the Ancients and their predecessors. Dawn was going to introduce hers at that time."

"We had to meet with the head of SHIELD and the two top people at the Council," Sam said.

"Ah! You met Xander." He nodded. "You know, his bullshit instinct is actually a very strong diversion weapon." Jack groaned, shaking his head. "Dawn has one too. It nearly got me for two weeks until I walked in and found her floating two books while nibbling cookies and leaning back in her chair to compare the narratives."

"We had no idea magic was real," Sam said.

Daniel nodded. "With that much mythology about it, it had to have some basis in fact, Sam. Like the mythos of the Gods did in the Gou'ald."

"I guess. SHIELD has human Asgard."

"I've heard. And saw actually. That guy that was with the aliens was said to be Loki."

"It was," O'Neill said.

"The blond guy was Thor," Daniel said with a grin. "I'm not sure how he'd take our project or if they knew about the Gou'ald or Ori."

"We might be able to ask," Sam said.

"Maybe. Thor's dating an astrophysicist." She gaped and he smiled. "Geek chat rooms I lurk in now and then when I want to remember I'm actually an academic, not a soldier. Dr. Jane Foster." She looked her up then sighed. "Classified?"

"By SHIELD."

"It figures. They've been working on wormhole stuff if I remember right."

She walked off to see if anyone knew her or her work.

"How does Harris have a better set of contacts than either SHIELD or us?" Jack asked.

"People like Xander." Daniel looked at him. "A lot. A lot of the lower geeks here would like Xander and how he protects and helps the girls. Probably a lot of the lower level of SHIELD would if it didn't include demons. Not a lot of agents can take demons."

"I can't," Jack said.

"It's that narrow viewpoint. You accepted early proto-humans but not demons?"

"Yes," Jack said.

"And yet, demons are just demons because they come from other dimensions and look funny. If they walked on two legs, looked closer to human, but still had the same originating point would you think they were human?"

"I..... I don't know," he sighed.

"A lot of people would've said yes because they aren't from here. People have a hard time seeing anything that's not their version of human as smart enough to be sentient and human. Look at how they treat dolphins. Their language is more complex than Chinese since it's not only sound and body language based but also apparently may have some scent included by recent research. Even if they spoke English they would still be seen as animals because they're dolphins."

"I get that," Jack decided.

"It's something very human about all of us," Daniel said. He smiled. "Want to see more things?"

"Wednesday. I'm starting to get that brain itch that means I'm going to have a headache."

"Xander can do that to you if you rub him the wrong way by discounting his slayers as something lesser than useful. After all, they've had their duty since we were cavemen. Now it's changed and it's better for the girls. They're supported, not hiding it in the dark, and they get to be normal most of the time. You probably put them as 'need to be protected from their own duty' in your mind and set his hackles up."

"I did. They're girls."

"So's Sam."

"Not that sort of girl. They're young girls."

"They used to get called as young teens and fight until they died," Daniel said, pulling down a book. "Sit, Jack." He sat down with a sigh and Daniel went over the slayers and what they were. Jack listened but it still upset him. Daniel smiled. "These days, the girls are girls. They're raised by someone who loves them, maybe including Xander or their own families. They're trained to protect themselves. The girls get to choose to go on patrol or just protect those around them unless it's a true apocalypse battle. They go to college, get married, have kids. They get to be normal women who have a duty to a specialty reserve unit.

"The senior girl, Buffy, Dawn's sister, got called at fifteen. Now the girls don't get to even test for patrol spots until they're eighteen. They train before then. They get a lot of things the old girls didn't get. The few girls that were left of the old style are still struggling to find a real identity for themselves at times because they were raised to be little programmed warriors. They got told they'd die honorably from before they could talk usually and that they'd be honored for their sacrifices. Now they're honored before and after for their sacrifices but they also get a lot of things that the other girls didn't. They get friends, they get school, they get sports and band and theater. They get playing time. They get pets. Xander's got a huge amount of animals living on the training center's property. Mostly demonic but there's three unicorns." Jack gave him a funny look. "The girls wanted them to join them when they found them."

"It's wrong for a kid to be a warrior."

"They're not children when they're being warriors, Jack. Any more than children in countries that have compulsory military education are. They may take some training but it's not like those countries. Xander has them in self defense and moves them up as their skills evolve to where they're comfortable and able to handle things. The girls themselves help decide that. There's plenty that only protect their families unless it's an emergency. Then they turn into warriors."

Jack considered that. "They're women."

"So's Sam and you've never had a problem with her being on the front lines. Maybe it's because they're not military women."

"That might be," Jack admitted.

"The military training wouldn't help them in their duty. The military couldn't train them in how to kill demons."

"No, it couldn't," he agreed. "Maybe I should see how they're trained. See if they're actually warriors or just able to handle the demons."

Daniel nodded. "Ask Dawn to set up a sparring match with Teal'c or someone and some of the slayers."

"I can do that," he decided. "Thanks, Danny."

"Welcome, Jack. Though, if you set Xander off, he's very invested in protecting those girls. He's nearly given up his life a few times to do that." He went back to his holographic display. "He's more rabid than you are when you have to protect your team."

"I'll keep that in mind." He went to talk to Teal'c. He wasn't sure if any of the stolen humans that had been taken were related back to the Council. Teal'c didn't know but he could ask and he decided he'd love to spar with some of the slayers. He'd set it up with Dawn in the morning.

***

Fury decided he needed to get to know this new general he had to play nice with and invited him out for beers that night. O'Neill showed up, which was a good sign. "Do you think we got played by the president and Harris?" Fury asked.

"Yup. I just found out earlier that the Council has scientific digs of old demon city sites. They found weapons at one."

"For their slayers?"

"Runs on magic."

Fury considered that. "I wouldn't want that sort of weapon at my back."

"Me either but they seem to think it's a good thing for the upcoming apocalypse battle in LA." Fury nodded at that. "I also got told that he was so headache inducing earlier because we pissed him off about the slayers."

"He's always like that to me. Then again, I'd like the slayers to retire for good."

"Then you go stake vampires," a female voice said from behind him. She sat down to look at him.

"Agent Romanoff, this is General O'Neill," Fury said dryly. "How did your fact finding mission go?"

"Very productive. Including their plot to take over the Council so that Harris doesn't finish warping all the old ways gone." She looked at O'Neill then her boss. "Xander gives those girls the stability they need and I once needed," she said in Russian, which she knew Fury knew as well. "There is a reason they survive horrific battles as young women and keep going for years, now. Before it was six, maybe ten months in most cases." Fury shuddered. "Now it's years. Which do you think is better?"

"The military doing it."

"Please do. They would enjoy that and train them how to hunt. Do you think it will happen?"

"No," Fury admitted. "I think that still freaks people out." She nodded he was right. "He's offered you a job helping them."

"If I was ready to retire, I might consider such options. They need more stability than one man who may die at any time. Especially with his dating habits."

"Stark suggested Barton should date him."

"Clint is strong enough, tough enough, and dangerous enough for Xander, plus highly protective of the children. They would be an exciting match but I'm not sure if Barton would go for it or not." She stared at him. "If you try to use the new knowledge you gained from that certificate, it will not go well for anyone. Especially since they can both go on air and get a lot of sympathy," she said in English. "They can turn whole countries against their leaders if they need to. In a few ways, Xander is like the calmer, less scientific version of Stark."

Fury considered that. "He is charismatic and a leader."

"Yes, he is. He cares deeply for those he cares for, even if he does irritate them to no end. Even Pepper Potts has come to like Xander, even though he's a slight road block to her own desires."

Fury grimaced. "I'd rather both topics were sidelined and retired."

"And yet, you can't take over either duty. The girls would kill you and if they did not, those of us who were trained like you would train them would." She stared at him. "I would never allow another program like that one to happen again," she said quietly. "He would not either. All you will do is make a martyr. Is that really what the world needs? Or the girls since he's their support network?"

"I see the point but I hate the bitching," Fury said dryly.

"Then listen to sense. If Coulson has known all along and handled it, let him. He works well with Harris, with Giles, with us, with some of O'Neill's cranky people."

"That puts your team there too," he said. "Since he's your handler."

She tipped her head. "I find myself feeling quite protective because those girls could have been me." She shrugged a tiny bit. "Clint finds them the same way and yet also healing. They have seen and done horrible things to save the world as well. My concern is that Thor would be upset when he shows back up or his brother will be intrigued."

"We need to see which it would be."

"I'll ask Barton, see if he has any idea from what few memories he has." She smirked at him. "Also, do not try to break the barriers at the training center. They are protective but quite evil. They are meant to make you beg and plead for your last few minutes."

Fury snorted. "They can't be better than guards."

She laughed. "You might ask Hill how the bite from the demonic ferret is healing." She strolled off.

"He's even made my own agents like him more than me," Fury said.

O'Neill nodded. "Harris is a leader. The girls follow him because he's their roadsign and big brother. Protections are what sort?"

"Probably mystical. They deal with the mystical bullshit."

The bartender walked over and leaned on the bar, going to game face. "You two do realize you've walked into a demon bar?" he asked dryly. "Half of us in here are probably peaceful and might even tell Harris if you threaten him or the girls. We'd enjoy the fight for however long it lasted. The rest of us....." He pointed at a few. "They respect the slayers but you're prey in here, boys." They paid and left. He looked up and shook his head. "Both big dumbasses and they're supposed to help save the world. Let Coulson do it, please," he prayed. "He knows how to handle and integrate everyone."

"Harris got him rescued and he's alive and well," one of the demons said. "He was at that meeting earlier. O'Neill just found out about magic too."

"How do you know?" the bartender asked him.

He grinned. "My sister's near the base and saw the new magic based weapons Summers was testing. That plus what they were talking about? Yeah, they just found out."

"Buffy?" one of the other patrons asked.

"No, Dawn. That's where he suggested she should go. From what my sister's heard while cleaning the halls for them, the city loves her." They mostly smiled at that. "She's got a very protective boyfriend from the project, and Xander's declared them his heir to the Council."

"Which?"

"Sheppard with Dawn and then Lorne," that one said.

"Yes!" the bartender said with a smile. "Yes, sanity plus skills!"

They all celebrated that announcement. They could like that future of the slayers. They all thought it was great that Xander was mostly in charge while Giles handled research things and the pocketbook. Dawn plus Sheppard would be just as stable for everyone. Sheppard even liked saving the world.

***

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