Wade walked into the slayer house. "Xander, where's your stash?" he called.
"Pertry said to get into your stash because you got some sort of love letter that he wants to take care of for you."
Xander shook his head. "Love letter, yeah. From his sister. It's on my desk. Stash I don't have."
"We all have a stash, Xander." He gave him a confused look. "Weapons, money, maybe some drugs or something." Xander shook his head. "How can you not have a stash?"
"Why would I have one? I supposedly get paid and have a weapons budget for the girls."
Wade put his hands on his hips, staring at him oddly. "We all have an emergency stash."
"I don't so not everyone." He grinned.
"You need to make one. What happens if you have to send the girls off and flee the house?"
Xander shrugged. "I'm more likely to make a stand than flee. I don't really have a flee response. It's been a problem in the past," he admitted with a slight grin. "And I get yelled about it a lot. Including by you last time."
"Uh-huh. You need to set up an emergency stash."
Xander pointed at one of the girls near him. "We take all his money for lunch, allowances, and candy," she said without looking. "When Giles remembers to pay him at all."
"The months he doesn't, I become a line item in the budget." He looked at Wade again. "Really, I don't have the stuff for a stash. My guns are usually on me. I have a box with magical supplies I can dig into if I need to."
Wade slowly shook his head. "No, you need an emergency fund so you can run away from the girls."
"I don't make that sort of money, Wade. Never have."
"How much is Giles paying you?" he demanded.
"Wow, I haven't heard that since Anya." He shot his buddy a dirty look. "None'ya."
"Fine." He flapped a hand. "You should still set up a stash so you have a running away or retirement from the life fund."
"I have a retirement account that has very little money making baby money for me but it's totally weak since I'm probably not going to retire."
Wade stared at him. "You're depressed. Maybe you should go out with Pertry's sister?"
"She's into biogerms." He got up to get the letter for him. "Here. You can have him yell at his sister but I'm not screwing him either. He hated me getting off. I need better."
"You need a lot of stuff." He punched him on the arm. "Let me deliver this. Maybe he'll find someone for you." He left, going to hand that letter over. Pertry hadn't wanted to get near Xander, knowing he'd be kicked around. Then Wade went to talk to Domino. Maybe she could win Xander a dowry or something.
She frowned but looked around. "People, did Xander not inherit anything from any of his ex's? The girls are complaining he has no clothes again and he's supposedly broke thanks to Giles forgetting to pay him. Again." A few people nodded. "Does he know that?" They shook their head. "Why?"
"He's creepy and not one of us. He's never taken a mercenary job in his life."
"Um, wrongo," Wade quipped with a smirk for him. "He got paid for taking out Mitchell and his group down there. And he was happy to do it because of the zombies." That got a groan. "I'd give it to him, guys. I mean, he's gonna have to get away from the slayers some year or die in a battle."
"He'd have to take it back from the ones who have it," that guy said, smirking at him. "You could probably go help him."
"Or I could take the bigger slayers club hunting while he handles it himself." He texted Xander a note about those things. Xander sent back he knew about most of them and had taken a lot of it back already but the rest mostly got used for weapons and feeding the slayers down there. "Fuck," Wade muttered. "How much did he spend on the girls?"
Domino leaned over then looked at him. "How much does artillery cost on the black market if you can't steal it?"
"Point." He looked at her. "We have got to solve things. He doesn't even have a stash."
She frowned. "How can you not?"
Wade shrugged. "Don't know." He looked at Xander's ex, who shrugged back. "Can we fix that?"
"If you kill a few of his ex's and take their stuff before their minions do," Pertry said with a smile. "Or in my case, my sisters' minions. My other sister would probably take out Xander for mourning my demise."
"Fixed that problem already," Wade quipped with a grin for him. "Last month."
Pertry got up and hugged him quickly. "Thank you. That's very helpful." He went to talk to his other sister. "You did not tell me that Deadpool took out the bitch. You never tell me the good news, Bianca."
Wade shook his head. "Maybe someone should talk to that Giles guy about the budget."
"Xander could be broke for a good reason," Domino reminded him.
"Yeah, the slayer there doing homework said they steal it for their allowance."
"Yeah, sounds like girls." They considered it. Xander would get mad if they talked to the Council people behind his back. Though they caught one of the other guys in there texting someone, getting a smirk from him and a glass salute before he finished his beer. She had a sudden thought. "What about the stuff he finds?"
"He might have to turn over some of them," Wade said. "It's mostly mystical artifacts sort of things." They shared a look. "Xander needs to be on more stable footing anyway. The girls are driving him nuts again."
"He could go on a finding trip but I have no idea who'd watch the little ones," Weasel called. "And he said to quit making plans about him because he just had a vision about the Council going to war over the budget."
"Sorry. We'll apologize," Wade called back. He looked at her.
"I'm not dangerous enough for Xander and he might mess up my mutant gift." She finished her drink. "You could bend over and take it."
"I...I'm kinda worried about him not having self healing talent. And we're not totally compatible."
"Point." She looked over at the corner where Cable usually hid, getting a head shake back. "He wouldn't?"
"Nope, probably not."
"Damn. That might fix things in many good ways."
"Yup but not likely."
"Pity. A girl can dream." She went up to get another beer. She looked at Wade. "His kitten poker contacts?"
"Oh, yeah. They do need a lot of weapons. That reminds me, I need a new butt plug for the next huge battle so I don't shit myself."
"The place on eighth has a great set and they're easily sterilized," Wade quipped. "I looked when we saw the invasion in LA and realized we'd have one too someday. I found a few nice sized Hello Kitty ones." She shook her head but tried not to laugh. That figured.
Xander looked at the call Giles had initiated for an all watcher meeting. Apparently there were only three watchers left since it was just them on the call. "What's up, Giles?" he asked.
"The ladies have written to me about the budget."
"Yeah," he said, glaring toward the dining room. "They're presently eating half of it."
"The house payment we send you has changed," the head of the budget said.
Xander nodded. "You realize we're not in the old house?"
"Yes, but I'm told that the house is cheaper by a hundred dollars or so."
"No, the house payment for here is about seventy-five cheaper and that goes back into the kitchen." He looked on the computer. "Here, the budget thing I send in monthly." He linked it into the chat system.
"What is this payment here?" he demanded after looking it over. "House overflow?"
"Giles forgot to pay me again," Xander said dryly. "It happens really often." He scowled. "Which got the girls starting to think about the house budget. A few asked me so I let them work on it for a math lessons."
"Why are you making so much?"
Xander snorted. "So much? I make a grand a week for a full time job. That's under minimum wage even if I was working normal hours. And with taxes I get about two-thirds of that and have to pay the other bills from it. Including my own health insurance." The man winced. "And all my other needs, including my own food too. And my car payment so we have one that works around here and all that other stuff. Unlike *some* houses I don't get to charge that back. Frankly if you guys paid me correctly I'd bet getting double that at least, the girls' allowances would come out of the household budget, not my wallet, and so would my health insurance."
"Oh, I say. We don't pay for your insurance?" the budget guy asked, taking off his glasses. Xander shook his head. "Why not?"
"You never have. This is an ongoing problem. You guys still owe me about forty grand for my years in Africa because most of my paycheck then went to weapons and feeding the slayers who needed it."
"We give them payments."
"Sixty bucks a month helps in some areas. Not all the slayers live in totally rural areas. That money barely pays for their school most months in about half the cases."
He grimaced. "What are your actual expenditures, including their allowances? Which we should have been paying, not you." Xander worked it up on another screen, saved it down, and sent it. "They do eat quite a lot."
"Yeah, they're all growing girls. We also have slayers that come in and out while traveling." He leaned back. "I forgot the electric bill, which runs about one-fifty a month since I've got it on a budget. So the last month of the year it goes up by about fifty bucks."
"That's reasonable. I do the same with my home." He looked at him. "What of your home expenses?"
"I live here. I'm the only adult in the house. Do you expect me to let a group of little girls live on their own?"
"No. I don't. You don't have any other help?"
"I've been looking into staffing our infirmary room with a nurse so she could talk to the girls about girlish things. I haven't found one yet and that'd add about thirty-five or forty grand a year plus any stocking they need to do and any other incidentals."
"That's not a bad idea. What of your vacation time?"
"Do I get vacation time?" Xander asked. "It's never been on my pay stub when I get one. And does Hancock in Asia get the same thing?"
"Well, I don't know," he admitted, pulling up that file. "He travels more, like when you were in Africa. Hmm. We do pay him about the same but he's in a lower costing area."
"Not if he's near a city. Singapore is one of the most expensive cities in the world," Xander said. "It tops the list most years."
"Hmm. Hong Kong as well I'm told." He went over the numbers. "Why is the house in Brazil paying that much for a house payment?"
"Eight hundred a month goes to the local gangs so they leave them alone," Xander told him. "It's protection for the girls. That way we don't have to go blow up a gang again."
"Again?" Giles demanded. "When did that happen?"
"Six months after we set up the house," Xander said dryly. "Hancock and I went down there to rescue two of the girls, get them rehab thanks to the gang forcing drugs on them, and kick the gang's asses until they actually complained about us to the police. The police in the area negotiated we'd pay them a protection fee and they'd leave the slayers alone or we'd let them be eaten by something huge." He grinned. "So we pay them monthly."
The budget watcher looked at his camera. "I can assume that's a better outcome than a lot of girls being exposed to that sort." He went back to the files. "Why do you use Excel?"
"It's already on the computer and I can use that?"
"That's a point I suppose." He went over the numbers again. "Why don't we automatically pay the bills for you?"
"Because you kept forgetting and it had to come out of my paycheck," Xander shot back. "You guys doing that has ruined my credit rating so when I need to change cars it's going to be twice as expensive on interest."
"Oh." He grimaced. "That is a problem to be concerned about. This year?"
"Probably within three. Unless it gets hurt during an incident."
Mimsy ran in with the mail. "Here you go, Xander. Did you tell Mr. Giles that I got an A on my spelling test?"
He grinned. "We haven't gotten to that part yet but you can tell him." He pulled her into his lap. "Go ahead. Why are you damp?"
"It's raining. The stupid spell nearly kept me from getting back in again too."
"I'll try to work on it later." He patted her on the back, letting her babble at Giles about school stuff.
"That's an amazing job, Mimsy," Giles said, smiling at her. "Very good work and I hope your new friends are great ones you'll have for years."
She blew a kiss and ran off. "I'll tell the bigger slayers that the main house is looking for reports."
"Tell Genevieve to send hers to me," Xander called. "I have everyone's but hers for patrol stuff."
"I can do that. She takes text messages."
Xander looked at Giles. "Genevieve was injured the last I knew."
"I've not heard anything from the house in Toronto recently," he admitted, frowning some. He sent an email, getting it bounced. "Xander, her email is bouncing."
Xander tried, shaking his head. "No, you probably forgot to change the company name, Giles." He got one back. "Hmm. Her boyfriend." He opened it. Then he called. "It's Xander. What do you mean she's in the hospital? No one told us that! What happened?" He listened. "Who...human or demon?" He grimaced. "Yeah, I can send someone up to handle that. Any idea...." He made a note and held it up. "Thanks. Tell her I said feel better and to call later. I want to talk to her about where she wants to go to heal. Because if she's that injured she needs time off to heal. We'll shift another girl up there and her to a healing house. So have her call me tonight. Thanks, Gus." He hung up and held up his notes so Giles could see.
"Blast," Giles muttered, hitting a button on his phone after a bit of visual searching. "Faith." He let the button go.
Faith strolled into view. "Hey. Hey, X."
"Hey, Faith. Genevieve is injured and in the hospital thanks to Dewey."
"Fuck Dewey, I'll beat his ass myself. She need changed out?"
"Yeah. She's apparently been in the hospital for over a week," Xander said. "Her boyfriend never told us."
"Got it. I'll be up tonight. Tell the girls I said hi."
"Faith said hi, ladies. She's going to Toronto tonight," he yelled, tipping his head to the side. They came in to talk to her for a few minutes then left so she could pack. He grinned at her. "Remember, she's got two minis up there."
"I can do a big sister slayer check." She left to pack and get the files on the house up there.
Giles looked at Xander. "I do like how you handle the girls." Xander grinned. "They're obviously happy and healthy. Why the cast?"
"A bully in her school tried to break her arm. The school sent her to the ER and they freaked out and sent her to the demon ER who put on an air cast. She'll be out of it in a few days probably. She's due for x-rays in two days."
"That's fine. Let me know if it's a problem."
"Oh, if the kid keeps up I'll let the girls deal with him." He smiled. "They've been restrained so far."
"Good." He cleared his throat. "The budgetary mess that was noted?"
"We're doing the wrong thing with his house," the budget person said, looking at the screen again. "We should be handling things but as you know some of my people are idiots."
"Don't tempt me to name names," Xander quipped, shifting some. "I got told two weeks ago that I shouldn't be near the slayers because I have a mutant gift. And I was warping."
"You seem to do a lot of the work those sort don't," the budget person said. "It's a shame really."
"Well, he is second in command," Giles said dryly. Xander nodded. "What is minimum wage?"
"Depends on the industry but up here in December it goes up to twelve an hour for most workers who don't work for tips or cash," Xander said once he looked it up.
"That is much more than I expected."
"New York's more expensive," Xander said. "What my general t-shirts cost up here I can go to a thrift store and get a full wardrobe in Cleveland."
"I can see that being a problem since there's been complaints about your wardrobe again."
"I have a few good outfits, Giles."
"Suits?" he asked.
He gave him a funny look. "Me in a suit? Do you think I spend money on pointless clothes?"
"Point. You're not one for the more staid attire that some of us wear. Though you could wear something nicer, Xander. Especially if you have to deal with the public."
"Which I don't usually. Sometimes other people who fight huge problems but if I'm talking to the press they either ambushed us on patrol or I'm reminding them to leave the girls alone. If I have to do anything else I do bum someone's dress shirt."
"You could buy a few, Xander."
"That would mean shopping, which I don't have the money for and I'm still having flashbacks to your slayer and the mall."
"I forgot about that. Personally I only go into a store if it's a tailor's shop any longer." He frowned a bit. "She really did traumatize us with her shopping habits." The head of the budget laughed.
"Honestly. The girls up here will tell you I've had daytime flashbacks to shopping thanks to Buffy. She shops more than some minor royals do."
"That's sad but I've seen her carrying in bags for the younger girls."
"I've managed to get some by shopping online but, again, that takes money," Xander quipped. "And usually some sending back because things don't fit."
Giles shook his head. "I did pay you last month with the back pay."
"Which the girls stole for their allowances and dinner on the way to club hunting. And you paid me for two weeks, you forgot to pay me for the battle bonus we get or anything else."
Giles rubbed his forehead with a sigh. "I haven't...."
"Nope. Since I have to replace both of my guns this month...." He gave him a pointed look. "The girls' armory budget is pretty skimpy. It won't even pay for sword repair some months. I'm okay but not that educated in how to forge swords."
"You know, there's those people who pretend to be back in history," the budget person.
"Yeah, they charge about two-fifty to fix a sword or my regular axe." The budget guy winced. "And making one by myself would mean a lot of practice first and setting up a forge area too. We've broken three swords in the last year by not having the higher weapons we needed for a huge problem. The city gets pissy when we have to use artillery. Then bitch that we didn't do it fast enough."
"You're getting cynical again, Xander."
"Didn't leave the last time," Xander quipped. Someone came in. "Hey, Cable, problems?" he called when he spotted him. "I've got Giles and the budget guy on the line."
"Two huge problems. The gun I was looking over for you earlier that you couldn't get unstuck? Neither can I. It's welded open." Xander winced but nodded once. "And whoever did it had a bad hand at welding." He glared toward the kitchen then looked at him again. "Second, they stole your regular axe?"
"Yeah, I noticed that and said it had better be back here tonight or I'm going to paddle every single slayer until it reappears," he said dryly. Cable put it on the table from his back. "Where?"
"Oh fuck no!"
"Must you swear?" the budget guy asked.
"Yup, I must. Girls!" he bellowed. "Who?" he asked Cable. He held up the ticket, making Xander wince. "Yup. Going to beat that brat." He put the ticket on the desk, grinning at Cable. "Go round up my girls for me please?"
"That one's hiding at Penny's."
"Won't save her ass. Go talk to my girls? Sometimes they ignore me because I'm just a guy."
"Yeah, I can do it like I'd yell at my kid." He went to talk to them. The girls were trying to hide by going through the back door. Cable held the door shut. "Let's talk, ladies. We really have to have an adult talk." They all stared up at him.
Xander dialed Penny's phone on his cell. "Hey, it's me. Send the thieving little bitch back here please?" She gasped. "She pawned my axe, Penny. I want her here so I can beat the living fuck out of her. Now I know why my Asgardian axe is hiding from you girls. Yeah, that's what I said. Sure, you can bring her back after screaming at her. Ask her if she welded my gun too please." Penny asked the slayer that and she tried to defend herself. Xander put it on speaker and put it near the camera for the budget talk. Xander stared at Giles when he started to yell back.
"Xander, we will be moving that one to another house tomorrow," Giles said. "I expect her to be needing a pillow with the way she's stolen from you and tried to get you killed." He growled. "Some of the girls need a firmer hand."
Xander grinned at him. "You want the other one too? She's got a helper in the house."
"Yes, I would. We need to make sure the girls grow up moral and strong enough to be good women," Giles said, then sighed at the end. "Which?"
"Oh, dear. She's easily led too."
"Yup." He looked at his cellphone. "Penny, bring her home please. And watch the baby." He hung up, looking at the screen. "Can Becky go to Minnesota?"
"Yes, I believe Candice is a strong house leader," Giles said with a smile. "Amera can go to Kennedy."
"Kennedy has shaped up a lot since taking over that house," Xander agreed. "She's become a strong slayer and a stronger woman. But her minis hardly ever get any fun."
"Sometimes you need the fun. They go to the spa all the time." Giles made himself notes. "Any other problems you're having?"
"Not yet. I have to find some weapons for the upcoming thing in a few weeks."
He grinned. "Piotr got jealous that Rogue told him they were flirted with on the beach and flew down there to talk to her. From what the other girls said, they're at least back toward dating and a bit giggly again." Giles smiled and nodded. "So we'll see. Kara was expelled from the college this semester thanks to all the attacks. They thought it might come back to hurt the other students. She'll start taking online classes through them next semester."
"That's reasonable probably. Is she all right with that?"
"Good. Piotr's classes?"
"He's an art student. He's a really great art student."
"Awww. That's wonderful. Though I doubt many would attack the poor lad. He's over seven feet tall."
"Kara did say that it was fun to climb him." Giles laughed. "It'll be fine I think. Even if they break up again they'll still end up friends. They would've been there this time but Piotr got jealous of her in a bikini and guys in the Bahamas."
"That's fine. Is Penny's pregnancy doing all right?"
"She's got a hernia again already. Her doc knows and will fix it when he goes in to tie her tubes after the birth."
"That's fine I suppose. As long as she's healthy."
Xander nodded. "She hid from Brad pouncing a few times. The girls got to babysit Bruno too. It's good for them."
"It is. All right. Do we have the budget for the New York house set up?"
"We do. It is not reasonable that the budget is that messed up. So let's do this." He put it up so they could all see it. Xander nodded, making a change to one thing. "Do they actually eat that much?"
"I spend six hundred every week on groceries and they run out before I go usually."
"Oh, dear. I can up that." He doubled that category. "That's reasonable." Everyone nodded. Xander printed it down. "I'm going to be going over all the other houses as well. I have no idea what's going on."
"I know in Africa I was buying half the food for the slayers I was near," Xander told him.
"We can take that into account there and in Asia. The others are mostly in houses or near houses. It's something the old liners probably didn't think of because they moved the girls individually." He grimaced. "Not that it was a better method of training. All right, your local minis who are at home?"
"I have sixteen in the general area that're at home," Xander said with a smile. "Though they're almost all still out of the area. Four in one set of half-siblings."
"I've seen that case. It's most unusual but there was a concern about the mutant gifts with ours."
"So far it hasn't hurt them. Bethy's a strong slayer who'll be a senior girl some day."
"Does she get training for that?"
"Yup. We worked with her dad to get her training for that speed gift. He has the same one so he's watching over her shoulder for that."
"I take it's not involved in her life?" the budget guy asked.
"No. Her mom was a groupie." Xander grinned. "Between the groupies, the few dates that the condom broke during, and HYDRA making some he's got thirteen." The budget guy winced. "Bethy introduced herself to him with my help and then introduced the others. She and her sister Diana all make sure the kids stay together and play together."
"That's good of her then. I can't imagine thirteen children." He shook his head quickly. "At least he didn't do most of the work himself."
"You know, there's religious people who believe God will tell them when to stop having kids."
"Yes and I think that cult should die off," he said.
"Agreed," Xander quipped with a grin for him. "One tried to come talk to the girls about how they wear short skirts. They go to the same school." He grimaced. "The slayer in question told her off and quoted chapter and verse back to her about why she was an airhead. She went crying home and the mother called up being upset so I let the girl tell her exactly what happened and why her daughter was an airheaded brat. Including requoting chapter and verse. They're not used to women who can read apparently. They hate us and are praying that all the slayers die off. I'm waiting on the demon who answers their prayers." He grimaced but grinned at the end. "We'll handle it."
"Tell me if it should happen," Giles ordered.
"Thank you. Any other concerns besides Xander's clothing?"
"Xander can order something if he gets paid soon," Xander sighed. "Guns first."
"That's reasonable," Giles agreed. "Good luck with that."
"I have a lot of people I can ask."
"Good. Get a few extra."
"I got asked about my running away from the girls stash," Xander said dryly. "Since I don't have one..." He waved and hung up, leaning back. He got up and went to talk to Cable. "So it appears I need a new gun."
"Or six," Cable said. "You're down to two."
Xander nodded. "I can't afford six. I can maybe afford one cheap one for now." He looked at the girls. "Have we learned anything tonight?"
"Mr. Cable's mean," one pouted.
Xander stared at her. "Only when you need it. Right now the only thing keeping me from beating two of you is Penny's got one of them and the other one's going to visit Minnesota." He stared at her, making her shrink down. "Now, what else have we learned tonight?" They pouted but told him. "Thank you. Go upstairs, clean your rooms." They ran off. He looked at Cable. "I feel like I'm mean but it's necessary."
"It's what fathers do." He clapped him on the arm. "I'll see who's selling something at Sister Margaret's."
"Thanks." He went to get dinner for himself and sighed. "Of course they didn't leave me any." His plate from the fridge was missing too. Xander went to get the dishes to put up and decided a bowl of cereal was what he had the energy for tonight after he washed the dishes.
Penny dragged the bratty one in and handed her to Cable after glancing in the kitchen. She went up the stairs. "Ladies," she called. "Meeting." They came trudging into the sparring room. She stared at them. "Why is it that only Xander is doing anything in this building? When I was here, we all had chores if I remember right. We split things like dishes and our laundry and all that stuff. Xander's not your maid. He's your watcher, and he's supposed to be training you, not babying you. We're all big slayers. We can make our own rooms up, we can clean up after ourselves, and we can damn sure help around the house. All the other houses have it."
"Ease off it, Penny," Xander called as he walked past the doorway. "We're going to be resetting the schedule this weekend when they're all grounded."
"What did we do to be grounded?" she demanded.
"We kinda stole from Xander's wallet for extra spending money," one said, tipping her face down. "I didn't but the bigger girls did." She pouted at Penny. "Can you move back in so we have a mom figure too?"
"I would but Bruno will get warped into Xander if I did. Also, Brad is a fierce asshole about chores. He glares at me about how I do the dishes." The girls all pouted. "I'll talk to him but I'm not going to promise anything and you're still all going to be doing chores! You're not on patrol right now. Even though only one of you is old enough." She frowned. "Is Kara on a date?"
"Healing in the Bahamas."
"Oh, that. I forgot." She sighed. "We are not going to treat Xander this way, ladies. He's done a lot for us. Including giving up on having a normal life. Not like he'll ever get to have a real relationship when he's babying our butts and helping in our battles." She scowled. "We're all growing women, aren't we?" They nodded, all of them looking down. "Good! Act like you're with your family, ladies. We're a different sort of family and I'd be ashamed if Bruno had stolen from Xander or anything else you've done wrong this week. Now, go write out your bad deeds so I can grade them and we'll talk about it tonight." She pointed. "Then clean your rooms." They trudged out.
She hugged Mimsy since she looked like she was going to cry. "I doubt you were one of the ones that stole." She shook her head, looking up at her. "I'm not mad, Mimsy, I'm disappointed in the older girls being so bad. I know it wasn't you." She cuddled her. "Go clean your room and straighten out your stuffed friends. Okay?" She nodded, running off to do that. Penny texted her husband then went to look around the house. She went up to Xander's room, finding him eating cereal. "Why isn't there any food?" He pointed up at the slayer rooms. "Shit, Xander. You're letting them run all over you."
"They're really young, Penny. Half of them probably don't understand."
"Bullshit! They're all old enough to know not to steal from you." He looked at his wallet and sighed, tossing it back onto the table. "One asked me to move back in."
"If you want. We're here for all slayers, even the pregnant ones. I'm not totally sure it's safe."
"Me either and Brad would probably be a firmer dad." He grinned. "We'll talk about moving closer." She came in to hug him. "I'm having Brad pick up groceries for breakfast and I expect you to eat too."
"Cereal isn't enough food for all that you do every day." She walked off calling Brad. They could show up for a week or so, just so they could rest. She had to get something done to her hernia in a few days anyway. She walked back up to Xander's room, wincing when she walked in and saw the injuries. "Damn it." He glared at her. "Brad said we're coming back for my week of healing after they fix the hernia."
"That's fine. Pick a good room." He grinned. "Brad can yell at them for doing bad things."
"Good!" She looked at his back. "What the hell happened?"
"Oh. That's weird."
"Someone turned some Hand ninjas."
"So damn stupid," she muttered, shaking her head. "Who's doing patrols so Brad can go?"
"I am. I've been more injured than this and gone on patrol, Penny. I'm fine. Just be a big sister, okay?"
"Uh-huh. I'm still your little sister too." She walked off calling Brad again. He was not happy but he agreed Xander needed a rest, the girls needed kicked in the butt, and the girls needed a few bigger slayers being around but the ones they had presently were bad role models. And he could pick up breakfast foods.
Penny decided to be a bit sneaky and called Wade. "It's me," she said cheerfully, sitting on the couch in the tv room. "Brad, Bruno, and I are going to be at the slayer house for about a week thanks to me having the hernia my daughter is causing fixed. No, I just saw the injuries Xander has. Brad could probably go on patrol if you want to help me plot, Wade."
She grinned. "That might be handy, yeah. Thanks, babe, and let Xander know what sort of guns are out there. I know Cable said he'd help him look but you know more local guys. No, the brat welded the slide open or something like that. They've been stealing from Xander and all sorts of stuff. Yeah, them. No, she's going to be leaving this house. Thanks, babe." She hung up and went up to talk to the girls individually. They were slayers, they weren't allowed to be evil shits.
Wade hung up and finished his current job then went to hand in the ticket so he could get paid. "Weasel, my man."
He took the ticket and paid out the money. "What's happened now?"
"Xander's going to have to buy a new handgun at least. Penny said one of the slayers ruined one." Weasel winced. "She also said they'd be there for about a week thanks to her hernia her daughter's creating."
"A daughter this time? Brad's got to be happy."
"Haven't asked." He smirked a tiny bit. "But she said the girls were stealing and things so someone has to nag."
"Penny's got mom sense now so she could do it."
"I think that's her plan. Has anyone mentioned new vampire Hand members?"
"Huh. I have to ask about that." He bought a drink and looked around. "Hey, Henry." The guy lifted his head. "Call Xander about a new handgun? One of the slayers welded his slide open." Henry nodded, texting Xander. Wade went to get into a card game with his drink. Things might work out okay.
Penny's husband Brad walked into Xander's room holding his son. Who Xander took from him to cuddle since Bruno was hooting Xa over and over. "It's good he loves you." He smirked. "Where's your stash?"
"You're the second person who's asked that and I still don't have one."
"I meant from your poker winnings, Xander."
"Used, Brad." He grinned and nodded a bit. "You know, all those battles? Not like people give us weapons."
"Yup. I have a few owned to me but not a lot of hope of getting it soon. We can go steal from the military I guess but then they'll get really mad." He shrugged then cuddled the hooting baby again. Bruno settled down to cuddle and be loved on. "You're so spoiled," he cooed at the baby, grinning at him. "That's because your parents are good to you." Bruno waved his free hand and went back to sucking, staring at him. "Let me guess, you want a story?" Xander shifted but told him about something he had done that was happy in Africa. Bruno yawned and fell asleep on him. "Awww."
"You should have a few," Brad said, taking his kid back.
"Mermaid taint so instead I have a bunch of little sisters."
"Uh-huh. We may be able to find a way around that."
"Only if I go in for a lot of genetics tampering and then they mix it in a dish to implant."
"That's an option."
"Not one I like. If I can't do it the normal way there's no doing it with science."
"Fine." He stared at him. "You didn't have anything left in Africa?"
"I'm pretty sure the girls down there used it."
"Yeah." Xander nodded, grinning at him. "Basically. We're screwed for the upcoming thing unless someone gives us something. Or I go flirt with an arms dealer, who are all down with low inventory thanks to the last auction."
"Even better. Can we apply to get official ones?"
"They only go to the military and we are not the military. So said the colonel I talked to about where we got our weapons. Then he realized that meant that we have to get it off the underground and he's not amused at that but oh well. He'd hate to be a demon's pet."
"So no one we can conveniently go take down?"
"Nope. The only place that might have some confiscated is the ATF office and they loathe us so much they've stated they'd rather die from it than let us have weapons."
"The NYPD still hates us?"
"Mostly. We proved a lot of their people were jackasses who are haters. They won't interfere in something but if we tell them there's a battle they'll try to ignore it."
"The cluster of fucks that gave out the address so the spell could be broken? If you want to ask, go ahead."
"No, not really. The Avengers guys?"
"They probably have some. I have no idea. I haven't asked. Clint and I talked about how to get the girls all covering clothes for the battle. He had ideas at least."
"Okay, we'll get together to talk." He looked at his son then at Xander. "I've had a talk with the girls about how spoiled they are."
"The youngest ones aren't."
"We know. We agreed they were good girls who did all that they needed to do around the house. The older girls needed to take on some chores for allowances and that allowance came from Giles, not from your wallet."
"Thank you." He grinned. "You should run a house someday soon."
"Never happen. That would drive me nuts. They'd never give me and Penny time to talk about a third kid." He grinned.
"Isn't she getting fixed?"
"Damn I hope so but it won't stop the casual trying for a new baby sex." He walked Bruno off. "C'mon, son. You can go nap in a bed. It's a great hobby to get into. That way your mother and I have some pouncing time."
"Not likely today," Penny quipped. "I'm going to the OB later since I'm cramping a bit."
"Sure, I can go with you. Anyone want some babysitting money?" he called. One of the older girls looked out of her room. "I've got to take Penny to the OB for a problem. Want some babysitting money?"
"Nope. I hate diapers. You guys yelled that I ignored it last time." She went back to her room. Xander came in to get him and took the playpen with him so Bruno could nap.
"Okay," Penny agreed. "He needs to get used to Xander so he can train him later on anyway."
"I think Dad's going to be his watcher," Xander called.
"If you die first, I'll risk the First Evil," she told him. Brad walked her off. "We have two hours."
"It's New York, getting across town will take three with the traffic mess we have."
"Fine. You be fussy."
"Yup." He grinned at her. "That's why you adore me."
"Yes I do." She kissed him on the cheek with a grin. "And we're getting food, right?"
"We can do that. I could use lunch too."
Mimsy looked over. "We'll try to save you some food from the bigger slayers."
"We can buy lunch out, sweetie, but thanks for the offer. Make sure Xander gets some tonight?" Mimsy smiled and nodded. "Thanks. I've got to see the pregnant woman doctor. We'll be back soon and Xander has Bruno."
"Okay." She wiggled and got back to the show she was watching. Which she wasn't supposed to watch but no one was paying attention. She decided to check on the other big slayer. She video called Kara. She smiled and waved when the phone came on. "Hi! Are you feeling better yet!"
"Oh, shit, Mimsy. I'm naked. Don't look."
Mimsy giggled. "So is Piotr. He's cute in his human form too." He hung up on the call, making Mimsy pout. But Kara called back a few minutes later when she was redressed. "Are you better yet?"
"I get to come home in about a week."
"Good! We've got Penny, Brad, and Bruno for a few days because Penny's having baby problems with her tummy again. We have a battle in a few days I'll have to watch from the safe room." The tv cheered so she looked. "Ooh, what's that?"
"You are not supposed to be watching Rome, young lady," Kara ordered. "Change the channel." Mimsy pouted but did that. "Thank you! You don't need to see that many naked people." She stared at the younger slayer. "Are you that bored?"
"Already done." She pouted. "I miss going to school."
"You can start again soon, dear. You know Xander will make you go back to the regular school in a few weeks."
"I know. Anyway, are you better yet?"
"I'm almost fully healed and the healer down here was amazed I survived." She smiled. "I'll be okay."
"Can you become the house mom? Penny's kinda mean. She's making the older girls do chores."
"We should be doing chores, yeah. Xander's not our mom or our maid. Slayers aren't the sort of princesses that have maids either." Mimsy nodded, still being pouty. "Quit pouting. You're too young to do anything but study and take care of your own room. You know, some of the girls in Africa were moms just a little bit older than you. So they had to take care of a baby and the whole farm usually. Usually all by themselves while the guys were off working or doing something. Xander is not mean to us at all."
"I didn't know about that. I should ask the African slayers about that stuff." She blew a kiss. "You get better and give Piotr a hug for us. He's really nice and he deserves hugs." She hung up and ran to the slayer computer to get onto the bulletin board to talk to the African slayers about their daily life stuff. Most of them lived on farms and had to do a lot more work than she did. So maybe she was a bit spoiled. One of the girls said something and the other girls yelled at her. "Xander!" she called. "Your girls in Africa are fighting!"
He came down the stairs to look at the computer, typing in over Mimsy's head. "Oh, fuck them," he said loudly. Mimsy laughed. "Sorry, her parents are assholes though." He typed that at his mini and told her to tell her mother two things. She said she did that and her mother had walked off wailing to talk to their minister. Xander was going to have to blow a poker debt to get her rescued from her family apparently. He walked off calling the watcher down there to get him to go stop the family. She could go to a good boarding school.
"Wow," Mimsy said. She signed off and went upstairs to talk to the bigger girls. "Xander's ordering the watcher in Africa to go steal one of us from her family that thinks she can be married at fourteen." Her eyes were wide. "He swore about her parents and everything! He's really mad at her parents. I was asking about their daily life stuff on the bulletin board. All the other slayers yelled at her about her mom being mean to her too." They got onto the bulletin board, finding that discussion and Buffy telling the young one to please run away to one of the other girls so she was safer. Xander came down to put in a message and the slayer wrote back a 'saying prayers in thanks' then said the minister was there with her father. The watcher was a few days away.
Xander handed Bruno to Mimsy. "Let him nap in the living room. No more watching HBO shows. Give me ten minutes." He went into the armory and went down there to handle it. He and the baby slayer came back together, her crying. "Go clean up." He gave her a nudge. "Someone tell the bulletin board I rescued her. I told the watcher down there in a text message." He went to clean himself up. He had blood on his hands from beating the minister.
He called Giles once he was cleaner. "I rescued her. She's up here with me. I hit the minister who thought she'd make a good submissive wife sort too. If he tries to press charges I'll go beat him again." He hung up. "Damn." He called another slayer, waving at her picture on the screen. "It's me." She blinked at him. "I have Mor here with me. She's safe. I told the watcher." She sighed in pleasure. "Her mom's probably really mad that I hit that supposed minister." She grinned and nodded. "So tell the others?"
"I can do that. Is she coming back?"
"Hopefully. She'll have some culture shock up here if only because we don't have a farm." He smirked and waved at the mother leaning into view. "I rescued Mor."
"Good! Those old ways are evil!"
"I'll try to get her back down there soon once I find her a safe spot."
"That's good, Xander. Thank you for letting us know."
Xander grinned. "If that minister starts things, I'll come hit him again too." She giggled and hung up. Xander put his phone into his pocket, going to get Bruno. The new little one was cooing at the grumpy kid. "That's Bruno. He's Slayer Penny's son and the first male slayer thanks to the coven."
"He's so cute! Some day I want one of those."
"We'll help you make plans for that when you're old enough. Which you won't be until after you've graduated school." She grinned and nodded. "Good. You two settle in. Let me change him." He took Bruno to change and then get him food. At least the little guy would eat tonight.
Mimsy came in with Mor for dinner. "Penny told me to make sure Xander ate," she announced. "So he has to eat too." The girls made Xander a plate, handing it down. They settled Mor in to talk to her. Xander had taught her english so she could talk to them. Bruno got his pureed stuff for dinner and he seemed happy enough, he was babbling baby noise at all of them.
Mor looked at Bruno. "You talk a lot. You must get that from Xander."
Xander grinned. "He's not mine. I'm just watching him while Penny and Brad at are the pregnant woman doctor." The girls all nodded. He checked his watch but they'd tell him if they had admitted her to the hospital. They had probably pulled into an alley for quickie sex. They had many times before.
Xander walked into the bar with Mor, wearing Bruno in the chest snuggly, and looking pleased. "Hey, guys. This is Mor, one of my minis from Africa." She smiled and waved. He pointed. "That is your cousin." She ran over to meet him. He smiled and shook her hand before talking to her.
Weasel looked at the kid then at the baby. "They're way too young and if people catch them in here I can lose my liquor license, Xander."
"We're not drinking, Weasel. And I know no one will hit either kid." He grinned as he passed over a note. "From Bianca and Elizabeth down in Delaware."
He read it and went pale. "Oh, flying fucking burning shit!"
Domino raised her head. "Demon battle?" she guessed, spotting Xander. She frowned. "Who're you? You're tiny."
"This is Bruno."
"Aww! Some day I'll want one of you but you're contagious so you stay on Uncle Xander."
"He's so cute he made Wade want a kid," Weasel told her, cracking her up. Cable stomped in looking totally pissed off. Mor froze but stared at him before walking over to stare up at him. "Um, honey, don't bother him. Okay?"
She smiled up at him. "My family's cow has a face like that when she's in heat. Are you that sort of grumpy, Mr. Metal guy?"
"No, not the reason I'm mad, little one." He looked at Xander, who was the only one that ever brought kids into the bar. "A mini?"
"One of my minis from Africa. This is Cable. He's a really good fighter, Mor. He's sparred with some of the bigger slayers."
"That's cool. Some day I'll be big enough to spar with you too." She beamed. "If you're grumpy like our cow we can find you a bull or whatever you need to cure the grumpy face."
He leaned down. "A bull won't cure my grumpy mood. But thanks."
She grinned. "Well, you can cuddle Bruno if you want. He's good at making you feel mushy and cuddly."
"I can try that later. Why are you in here?"
"Introducing her to her cousin. We're going to have to move her," Xander said as he waved his bruised hand. "I had to talk to the family minister that thought she'd be old enough to be married off next year."
"I like to beat those sort myself, Xander. We can figure out a good school or foster family for her. She needs to be in a great family to grow up strong." He patted his cousin on the head. "Go with Xander for now. I can hear loud, gross people."
She shrugged. "My big brother turned into that sort. They happen," she said in her native language. She did bounce off to go back to Xander's side since she heard swearing.
"Flying fuck nuggets!" Wade complained.
She looked at him. "Chicken nuggets don't fly and they can't make eggs either." He paused to stare at her. "They're not real chickens anymore so they can't do any of that screwing. And they certainly can't fly unless you throw them at someone. Which is mean to waste food."
Xander petted her head. "This is Wade. The big slayers have worked with him a few times. He's got swords and guns he's good with."
She smiled and waved. "Hi, I'm Slayer Mor."
"Hi." He shook her hand, grinning at her. "You're really tiny."
"I had to introduce her to her cousin, bring in a note about a few who are usually in here, and ask where in the hell Penny and Brad are."
"I can help figure out the last one." Weasel handed over the note. "And maybe that one. Cool. Let me go do that before I'm tempted to light chicken nuggets on fire and throw them at people." He nodded. "You have fun with the other slayers, Mor. You seem sweet." She grinned and nodded. Xander walked her out with him. Wade looked at Weasel, who shrugged. "Okay. Call around to find Brad and Penny. She's been having some problems thanks to the new kid. I'll go find Bianca and Elizabeth so they're not stuck with the HYDRA dudes." He walked off with a sigh of discontent.
"Things are never boring with Xander around," Cable decided. "Who're this HYDRA group?"
"Bad news but on the Avengers level."
"Oh, okay. So probably why some guy was trying to fawn over my arm earlier." He got a beer he paid for and went to sit down in his usual corner.
Weasel made notes on all that. Xander did bring some extra life to their world.
Mor walked into the house carrying Bruno very carefully. "Here, take him before he falls! Xander had to fight the bad guys who said I was cute." One of the bigger girls took Bruno from her to look him over. "We're okay. Xander handed me him and told me come inside while he whooped a butt."
"He's really good at it too," Mimsy agreed. They listened, and could hear the bad guys going down. And one got shot apparently. Then Xander came in. "Are you all right! You're already injured and we can't have your hurt!" She put her hands on her hips and tapped a foot like she had seen Tara do.
"You're very fierce, Mimsy. I'm fine. My hand's bruised but they deserved it."
"You had to shooty someone!" she complained.
"No, that was someone else getting the HYDRA guy."
"Oh, that's good." They hugged him and let him have Bruno back and ran off to their rooms. Just in case the bad guys were coming in here again. That way they were safe. And there was nothing good they were allowed to watch on tv anyway.
Xander looked at Bruno. "Sure, we'll have a guy's day." The baby babbled and waved his hands happily. "I know, you need cleaned up. You stink more than Wade after tequila at the bad mexican place he likes." He carried him up to his bathroom. "I'm giving Bruno a bath," he called into the slayer's hallway. "Come get me if something happens!" He had a lot of fun talking to Bruno. It was nice to have a guy around again.
Wade walked the duo into the house. "I hate the douchebags that call themselves HYDRA," Brad complained loudly. "What the fuck were they thinking?"
"They wanted to test a slayer and have for years," Penny reminded him. "I warned you about them back when we started to date." She rubbed her stomach. "I hate that. Quit kicking, daughter."
Wade gave her a nudge. "Go lay down before she comes out through your bellybutton this time. I don't want to ever see a kid born, even if it was mine." He gave her another nudge. "Go save Xander from the baby."
She scowled. "That's mean, Wade! Xander does excellent at daddy duty."
Brad nodded. "He does but he's going nuts being in a house surrounded by girls." He walked her off. "Thanks for the rescue, Wade."
"Welcome." He shook his head quickly. He heard Penny giggle and Brad waved him up the stairs so he snuck up and looked, taking a few pictures with his phone. Xander had fallen asleep with Bruno while reading to him apparently. Bruno had wiggled around so he was laying on top of Xander's head, chewing on his hair while he snored into it. Xander was actually sleeping for once so that was great. Wade snuck back out of the house and went to share the pictures with his buddies.
Penny snuck in to grab the baby, dodging the knife that came up. "I'm getting him to change, Xander," she said quietly. "Give me the baby."
"Fuck off," he mumbled and tried to stab her. "No taking the baby. Needs guy time."
She got a sappy look on her face. "Fine, he can nap with you tonight but he needs changed." She snuck back out with Brad so he could check every inch of her over for bruises with his fingers, then his tongue, then other parts that made her a happy pregnant woman.
Xander sniffed and blinked, looking up at him. "Wow, you have a huge butt stink, little dude." He got up to change him and went back to bed with him. Bruno was happy with that and a reread of the story from earlier. It was great to have guy time again.
Xander walked up to Blind Al when he spotted her at the market, taking her arm. "I'm hiding. Penny's trying to take my only guy time away."
"Is Wade on your couch again?" she asked impatiently. She sniffed. "I smell a young thing."
"This is Bruno. Bruno, this is Al. She helps Wade and I know you like Wade." Bruno squealed and hugged her arm too. "That's so sweet of you to give Al lovies, Bruno."
Al patted the baby. "He sounds cute." Xander grinned and walked her off. "I wanted some lemons, Xander."
"And I'd let you if he didn't have a blinky box outside his stand. I have no idea what the blinky box is so let's get you lemons from this nice ethnic lady in the pretty clothes. That's called Kente cloth, Bruno. It's worn for special occasions. I saw a lot of it when I was in Africa helping Mor's family." He looked down. "It's so fancy because someone thought she was a great woman so they made it specially for her." Bruno stared at the pretty lady and reached out. "Can he touch it?"
"Sure," she said, smiling at him. "Spent time in Africa?"
"A few years as the watcher down there. One of my girls was near the Kenya border." Bruno touched the fabric and patted it, grinning at her. "Thank you. Say thank you, Bruno?" He babbled. "Good boy. Your mommy and daddy are teaching you very good manners." Bruno grinned at Al, patting her until she patted him back.
The stall keeper smiled. "He seems sweet."
"He's one of my girls' kids. I'm babysitting so I get guy time again." She giggled but got Al her lemons, adding in an extra small one for free. They walked in.
"Has anyone told you that you need to get out more, Xander?" Al asked as they walked off.
"Yeah but I have a house full of mini slayers. I totally get why soccer moms who're home all day drink. I don't want to drink though."
"Uh-huh. You can go out and do stuff when the girls are in school."
"And I often do. It just usually involves swords." Al snorted but let him lead her around to the stalls. They ran into one of the younger girls at the mutant school, who hugged Xander's side and waved at Bruno. "Bad day at the school so you're hiding?"
"Mostly a lot of bitching and soap opera stuff. He's so cute, Xander."
"That's Bruno, Penny's spawn. He's pretty neat. This is Al. She's a friend of Deadpool's."
"Hi, Miss Al," she said. "Pleasure to meet you."
"It's nice to meet such polite young women. You can have Xander if you need him."
"No. I'm cutting school because they're being whiny drama princesses. Again. I have no idea why the guys are turning back into drama princesses but they need to stop it before they need the special surgery."
"They'd have to live as the other gender for at least a year before the surgery," Xander told her. "There's actually a lot of psych evals and stuff first." He grinned at her. "But that means you can dress them like princesses. Hat and all if you want." She let out a small evil smirk. "Have Rogue help you." She ran off calling the older girl. He grinned at Al. "Some days the school is like that."
"I'm sure it was. Most were. Wasn't yours?"
"Only in our lives. Partially my fault but not all of it." He walked her off telling her about Cordelia. She burst out giggling at the love spell but he sighed. "Yeah, I was an idiot. I even believed in love back then. She broke that for me." He helped her pick up her basket and they went back to walking around the small farmer's market. Xander looked at his phone when it rang. "We're fine." He hung up and grinned at her again. "Penny was wondering where we were. She's having a mood swing cleaning fit so we got out of the way. I'm going to let the pregnant woman fuss at whatever she wants."
"It's a good idea," Al agreed. "Pregnant girls can be really fussy."
"Yes she can. She already stole my clothes to do laundry. Maybe she can get the stains out of my t-shirts so I don't have to buy more."
"You can pick up plain t-shirts around here somewhere, Xander."
"I would but paychecks are next week. I'm about broke because Giles forgot to pay me again last month."
"That needs to be straightened out."
"We thought we have. We had to move a few girls who were bad influences. They kept stealing from my wallet. One went to an ATM and managed to figure out my PIN so she drew out money for panties."
"Your girls need spanked."
"I let Cable scream for me before I beat half of them to death for that stuff. They're teaching the little minis bad habits too so they are both being moved. Kennedy will have a lot of fun with one of them in London and the other's going to Minnesota."
Al smiled. "That's supposed to be pretty country but not a lot to do."
"Good. Maybe she'll do her homework." He looked at Bruno. "Was that a fart or real crap?" He pushed him forward to look at his back side. "No, just air I think."
"He could probably use changed."
"I can do that when we get near the family station and tables." She nodded, going that way. Bruno got all cleaned up and he tossed out the wipe cloths and the diapers, then they let him wash his hands so he could go on with her some more.
Al tipped her head up to him. "Why do you guys think I need all the escorting duty?"
"Because there's been two visions of various slayers being with you while you were shopping but a huge bad guy shows up."
"Oh. Well, I don't mind that then."
"We know you're capable, Al. You manage your own apartment without help and usually with less than help from Wade. In that you're a great role model for the girls for when they get injured doing our duty. Just don't teach them how to play strip poker. Kitten poker is a bit different."
She swatted at him. "Fine." They went back to her apartment and Xander helped her put things up and got the package from the doorway. Someone tried to bust in but Xander got them before they managed to get a shot off. "Fuck. Who was that?"
"Don't know," Xander admitted, handing her the baby. He walked over to look down at the bad guy. He took a picture to send to Wade. Wade sent back he was an assassin and did he break into the slayer house? Xander took a picture of the door and sent it. Within minutes Wade was stomping in to handle the idiot. Xander shrugged. "I handled it."
"Good." He looked over at the coo. "Oh, hey, kid." He looked at Xander, who shrugged but grinned. "Why are you carrying the kid around?"
"I'm getting guy time in. And talking to him about important slayer lessons I might not be around to give him."
"You're the next best thing to immortal," Wade said firmly, glaring at him.
"Wade, I might not make it another thirteen years for his first training hunt. I'm realistic. It's been a decade now. Most slayers last a few years on patrol and for battles. I'm ancient by our standards."
Wade hit him on the arm, making Xander yelp. "Shut up with that shit. You'll outlive all of us in punishment for wearing that ugly damn shirt." He picked up the guy to carry off. "Let me handle whoever sent him, Al. You make Xander be less realistic."
"Fine," she called. "Find out if he was here for me or expected you."
"Yup," Wade yelled back. "I can do that."
Xander kicked the door shut and took the baby back. "That was a mean guy," he told the baby. "He totally needed a better life the next time if he reincarnates. Or he'll go to hell." Bruno giggled because Xander was tickling him. "You'll be a much better guy than that one was. Or else your mommy will scream at you. You can learn that stuff from Piotr when they get back from the Bahamas."
"Why are they down there?"
"Kara got blown into a building and had a skull fracture with bleeding. Piotr got jealous that Bahamian guys were hitting on her." He grinned. "So he flew down to talk about their break up again. I'm told they're giggly."
"Young love is cute that way."
"Yeah, it's nice to see. They deserve to be happy." He sat down, looking at Bruno. "Why are you making that face? That face means a huge stink."
"Bathroom," she said with a point.
Xander took him in there to change him once he finally finished. "Eww, Bruno. Bad butt today, little guy. We'll have to fix that. Pretty soon we'll start potty training. Then you can crap like a guy." Al was laughing at that. "Yeah, we'll like no more diapers. We'll even disgust your uncles by getting you super hero underroos to have accidents in. Wade will not be amused if you do that to his but he'll be creeped out by having any at all anyway." He tickled his belly. "Let me wash my hands." He put him down and did that, then cleaned up any signs he had been in there. He and Bruno came out together, nodding at Cable, who was staring. "Penny's son."
"I've seen you hogging him. Who was the guy who broke in?"
"Wade has 'im."
"Good." He took Bruno to look at, getting an odd look for it but Bruno reached for his fake eye. "No, don't touch that please." Bruno squealed and kicked, then leaned forward to try to suck on it. Xander took him back. "Why are you babysitting today?"
"I needed guy time. Plus I have to share wisdom of being a slayer before I die from something. Otherwise he'll never learn the right way to sharpen points on stakes. His mom never did."
Cable winced. "Are you dying of something?"
"No. I've had my tenth anniversary of hunting. I'm realistic. I won't make it to his first training hunt at fifteen. There's stuff I have to pass on that I won't get to unless I start now. Who knows what'll happen next battle. Or even when I'm out and about."
Cable nodded. "You could take a vacation."
"And who's going to handle the minis?"
"There's other watchers."
"Who're more likely to screw them up. Maybe when Kara and Piotr come back."
"We'll ship you somewhere when they get back. Al, you okay?"
"I'm fine. I was going to cheat at cards again so we can play some strip poker. Wanna join in?"
"If you're blind, why would you want to play strip poker?"
"I can still appreciate a cute naked guy, boy. I'm blind, not dead." Cable walked off shaking his head. Bruno squealed so he patted him then left again.
Xander looked at Bruno. "I think he thinks I'm weird."
"Could be," Al said dryly. "Or depressed."
"No, I'm realistic, not depressed. It'll happen some day and I've got plans made for that. The only thing I worry about is them erasing me from the Council's history or lying about me like the girls I know do all too often because they think I'm *normal*." He sat down at the table, letting her deal the cards for them. Xander explained poker to Bruno too. It was a pretty important life skill in their lives. Al was amused but she was cheating hard so he was shirtless pretty fast.
Xander walked into his armory at the house, sighing when he saw how little it was. It was a smallish room but it was nearly empty too. He grimaced, considering things. "I have no idea," he muttered. Then he suddenly grinned and went to grab Bruno and one of the minis who'd frustrate someone and make them give in sooner. He blew a kiss to the others. "Behave, listen to Brad. I've got to go ask someone to help with the upcoming thing."
He grinned at the mini, who grinned back. "You can win him over with the power of your cuteness." She bounded along because it was a special treat to go weird places with Xander to learn from them. Bruno was grunting but not that unhappy. Xander found the place he wanted after two calls and walked her in. "This isn't the usual bar that the girls go to hide in," he told her.
"I've seen Sister Margaret's. Mr. Weasel is pretty nice to us girls." She grinned and waved. "I'm learning from our watcher today."
Xander grinned and waved, heading for a back table. He hauled one of his ex's with his free hand. "Come talk to us."
"Fine, Xander," he complained. "Let go."
"Sit." He shoved him at a chair. "Becca, sit on him would you?" He looked at the main reason he was there, grinning slightly. "We have almost no weapons for the upcoming battle in two weeks and the things take beheading without getting anywhere near them unless we want to become addicted slaves to their bodies. Can you maybe show up just to do the weapons stuff for us?"
"Yeah, I can do that." He looked at the two kids. "This isn't the bar that's safe for them."
"No one's going to touch Bruno. Or Becca." He patted her on the head. "Because Becca's daddy goes here sometimes too." She squealed and looked around, spotting a guy she knew. She ran over to babble at him. He hugged her. "She's one of my minis," he said with a grin and a wave. "Can she write to him at least? Her mom's rabid that they not talk due to his career choices but that can actually help her with her later duties."
"Yeah, I can pass on messages, Harris." He looked at her. "I can pass on a letter to your dad, Becca." She beamed, sitting down to write one out for him to take now.
Xander looked at his boyfriend, giving him a hopeful look. "We have *nothing* but two stake shooters and a single bigger grenade thrower. Can you maybe give us a discount for old time's sake?"
"You know, you did walk off insulting me."
"And you tried to get my blood to biobomb the city, Kirk." He grinned. "I should've taken out your ass to protect all those people from the funk that's in my blood thanks to the mermaid taint at the very least. Only AIM wants a city full of monsters who'll eat people."
"Good point. I didn't think about that." He grimaced. "Did you hear about their upcoming problem?"
"I turned it over to the Avengers when the original scientist guy captured me after I had been tortured. The tiny dicked guy thought he'd be an alpha and thought Stark had a techno mutation." Kirk hung his head, shaking it. "Yeah. I saw first hand how he wanted to turn on the alpha/beta/omega stuff so we all lived like werewolf clans. Pity he'd never even make it as an omega with how weak he was but some guys are like that."
"Yeah, I know a few."
"So do I," Xander admitted. "Stress relief and didn't get it good enough. So, discount? Major discount? Please?"
"I don't have that much on hand right now but I'll ask around. How soon?"
"Two weeks on Thursday. About elevenish."
"I'll see what I can and talk to others. What happened to the stuff you had in Africa?"
"Used by the girls down there. Two weeks after I got free of Egypt they had a slight invasion."
"Oh, that time. That truly sucked."
"Yeah and I should've been there but I was healing torture wounds and helping defend London. But I did get my axe out of it." He grinned. "I think it'll go to Bruno some year."
"He's Penny's son."
"Awww." He patted the kid on the foot, getting glared at. "He looks like you when you get woken up by your phone."
Xander looked then grinned. "I'm getting guy time today. Don't touch my baby slayer," Xander called. "I'll kill your ass." Becca got put back into her seat and patted on the head. "Thanks." He looked at Kirk again, giving him a hopeful look.
"I'll do what I can. You should probably scram with the kids before the cops see."
"We're on the way to the kitten poker hall but I went looking for Frank. He usually has at least a high powered gun around somewhere." Castle nodded. "Just don't let the demons coming in two weeks touch you. They're addicting and won't eat you." He grimaced. "Okay, Becca, hurry up, let's go to the demon poker hall."
"Sure, Xander." She finished and kissed the guy she knew on the cheek. "Thank you for the help. I miss my daddy and my mom's being a shithead." She hopped down and came back to take Xander's hand. "Thank you for helping the bigger slayers if you show up in two weeks, people." She grinned and waved. "We appreciate it because it means I'm still too little to jump into a battle."
"If they try I'm going to kill them extra hard, honey. Let's go to the demon poker hall." She squealed, pulling him off by the hand.
Frank Castle looked at the other guy. "So you two dated? I'm trying to figure the guy out."
"No. I was stress relief and a necessary evil before he had a heart attack after a series of battles that wasn't covered by those on the tv." He sipped his beer. "It was a pretty good weekend but Xander will pout at you if you don't let him get off or feed him." He went back to his table to call around. Xander would probably give them a nice week of sex if they could bring him weapons and they'd heard Xander was hard up again. It was always better to have him relaxed before battles. Otherwise he got uptight, creepy, and apparently turned into a fussy guy over the mini slayers.
Frank Castle was shaking his head but thinking about his weapons. He could bring some bigger things to that battle. Someone handed over the notes they were sent. "Thanks," he grunted. "That battle?"
"Yup. Take off the head, don't get touched, they have purse lions."
"Great. Demon celebutantes." He finished his beer and walked off with the notes to talk to the others who protected the city. There was no need for young women to jump into a battle for the city. Even if they were fully trained slayers.
The other guys in the bar saluted the insane one and the grieving one because Castle's insanity would hopefully help the battle and Xander might find someone nice soon enough. They had heard rumors but apparently he was a bit more weird than they had heard.
Brad walked into the poker hall, taking Bruno and his carrier from Xander to put on himself then he grabbed Becca's hand, walking her off. "C'mon. We'll go somewhere more sane, Becca. Before I have to beat Xander for bringing you guys to a real bar full of assholes and dickheads."
"My daddy's helper guy was there and he'll pass on letters for me," she said with a grin. "I missed him."
"That's cool, princess. That's a good reason to go to a slummy bar but still, you're too young. You can ask him to come visit you at the house."
"Mommy said no because he has bad decision making skills. Xander said those might help me when I'm a big slayer."
"It could," he agreed. "It's helped Penny a lot." He picked her up to carry her since she was yawning. "I know, it's been a huge outing today." She nodded, laying her head on his shoulder. "You can nap, sweetie." He nodded at someone he kinda knew.
"I thought your oldest was a boy."
"He is. I'm wearing him and carrying a mini slayer."
"Oh, that's who that is." She grinned and waved at him. "She's cute."
"As cute as my next kid will be since it's a girl." He smirked. The other mercenary laughed but nodded, walking off to share that. It was a cute story. Brad was such a daddy sometimes.
Xander looked at the demons he was playing poker with, grinning at them. "Let him change Bruno." They all nodded and got back to the hand. It was nice that Xander was winning today but they knew if he lost he'd give them HYDRA goons or something to nibble on so it was pretty nice of the hunter.
"Why won't the baby shut up?" one of the older girls whined. "He's always noisy!"
"Welcome to having kids," Xander quipped, staring at her. "Miss spoiled brat. You make more noise than he does."
"I can't hear the tv!"
"That's funny. You don't have a problem with your hearing and he's not fussing. You're being spoiled. Also, you're being a brat about the other slayers. Which he is thanks to the coven. Get over it. Having him around for a few weeks is teaching you good habits for when you spawn something whiny of your own." She got up and huffed off, calling Giles to complain Xander always has the baby and it was a noisy, messy, wailing kid. Xander looked at the others.
"She's spoiled," Mimsy agreed. "He's not even crying. He's just snuffling." She took the baby to cuddle. "It's all right, Bruno. She's a bad girl and a bad slayer because she never trains. You'll be a great one when it's your turn." He huffed but let himself be cuddled and cooed at. "What do the other slayers that have kids do?"
"Most of them are at home," Xander admitted. "Penny's healing from the surgery."
"I know." She patted him on the leg then cooed at Bruno, making him scowl. "It's okay, Bruno. You're a good boy. We appreciate good boys because it means we can recognize them when we're big slayers so we find a decent date." The slayer walked in looking smug and threw Xander's phone at him before huffing off again.
"Yeah, Giles? The whiny bitch complained how much about Bruno being sleepy and tired?" He listened. "No, she's a spoiled brat, Giles. Has been, will probably always be. No, we're watching tv. Bruno's tired so he's a bit huffy but he's not wailing or anything. She's a spoiled brat." He got up and kicked her out of his office, taking his wallet from her then swatting her hard. "No stealing. That is not the slayer way."
"It's my allowance!" she sneered.
"You haven't done anything for allowance money, Bethany. You're spoiled. If you want an allowance that much, go to Cleveland." He listened to Giles then hung up. "He just told me to paddle your ass for stealing and whining." She took a swing at him and he shoved her against the wall, holding her there. "I'll be right back." He carried her to the confinement room, shoving her in and shutting her in there then locking the door with a padlock.
He sighed and called Giles back. "She took a swing at me so I carried her up and threw her into the confinement room." He stopped Penny from trying to get to her. "No. She was whining about Bruno making noise. I don't want to risk you or the current baby." Bethany was screaming and ranting so he let Giles hear. They could both hear Giles groaning. "Yeah, Giles. I don't care. I'm about to beat her ass fully for this stupid moment. Yup, I can ship her down there. I can do it while she's drugged too." He heard her talking to someone and smiled. "She's calling the cops on herself. How sweet."
He hung up and went to call their NYPD liaison. "It's Xander. Bethany is presently calling in that we've locked her in a room before I beat her ass. Please do. Giles said to send her to Cleveland. Yup. Thanks." He hung up and looked at her. "They'll come make a report for her going into the system. Or she'll get to go to boarding school." He grinned. "We'll handle the bitch."
Penny shuddered. "Military school?"
"Could be." He walked off nodding to let the officer and the social worker with him in. "Hi. Welcome to our slayer house. The one in confinement for trying to attack me is upstairs ranting and screaming about the baby being evil for making her huff off in a snit and try to steal from me."
The social worker grimaced. "Is that the right response?"
"It was that or beat her ass. Which did you want me to do, ma'am? She's fourteen. She's an opinionated, bitchy, hateful fourteen-year-old girl who complained the baby in the house made too much noise by huffing at being tired. Then she stomped off to complain to our head. Then she stole from me and was trying to wreck my office. It was confine her after she took a swing at me, drug her up, or spar with her until she learned she was an idiot."
"Confinement can be handy in those situations," she admitted. She went up to look at the girl, who ranted at her.
The officer looked at Xander. "The upcoming battle?"
"Please bring higher weapons. Don't get touched, they're addicting but don't eat people." The officer winced. "We're totally out of weapons. So please, bring some to behead the really tall demons."
"Yeah, I can pass that on." He went to look in the tv room. "Who're you?" he asked the kid, who was obviously a boy.
"That's Bruno, Penny's son." Mimsy smiled at her. "He's a slayer too. The coven tried to turn him into a girl. He's a really neat little guy and we're all learning about being good mommies if we have kids some days. Plus he's great to cuddle." She held him up. "Want to cuddle him?"
"I have two of those at home. Thanks, Mimsy." He looked at Xander. "You were seen carrying around a kid."
"Him. I needed guy time."
"Ah. Cool. I can fully understand that since you're always surrounded by young women."
"And some of them aren't ladies," Xander agreed with a grin. He took Bruno back. "C'mere, little guy."
"Xander, he's my son, I can change him," Brad said patiently. He walked his son off talking to him about keeping him with them for a bit so Uncle Xander couldn't steal him for a while.
Xander shrugged. "Not like I have guys to hang out with and play video games or anything like that."
"I can fully understand that," the officer agreed. The social worker came down with a swelling eye. "Did she hit you?"
"Tried to twice, barely got me once," she admitted, looking at Xander. "Your plans for her?"
"Giles wants her in Cleveland so she has a close, personal mentor from the new watchers." He grinned. "It's that or boarding school."
"That's not a bad idea. It might also help her to get some therapy."
"She's not a trauma case. She has a great family who spoiled her to death," Xander said with a slight shrug. "She's just spoiled. Everything has to be about her and her wants. She said she was stealing from me to get her allowance, when she knows there's chores for allowance money. She refuses to help out. She sneers about the school. She hates that I make her do her own laundry and I'm not their slave. We have a few of those among the slayers and thankfully some of them grow out of it. Kennedy did and I'm about to have her come talk to the brat."
"I can agree with that plan. Do we think she's going to need medicine some time in the future?"
"If so, she'll be assigned to a house if she insists but otherwise we'll gladly support her needing medical help." He heard a door be broken and sighed. "Let me go ... Beat her ass." He went up to grab her, and she tried to throw him out of his own room. He tossed her toward the stairs. "Down there. Now." She tried to attack him again. "You're not that good. You're going to fall down the stairs, Bethany." The social worker stomped up to help him. Bethany tried to kick him but he blocked it easily. She overbalanced and started to fall but he caught her arm. The social worker caught her other arm and walked her off. Xander looked back at Penny.
"She needs to go tonight. Before I kick her ass."
"You're pregnant and she's fourteen so you'd get in trouble. Let one of the younger girls do it for you. I'd hate to see you in jail for assaulting her."
"I can agree with that as well," the social worker called back. "Is there somewhere else she can be put?"
"Yup." Xander skipped down the stairs, grinning at her. "I'm really glad I found this old hotel." He went into the infirmary area, then came back to stick something in her arm. Bethany went limp and passed out, getting put onto the floor. Xander lifted her up and took her to the confinement room again. This time she got strapped to the bed and he turned on the camera in there so he could remote monitor her. Then he went to call Giles with the social worker putting in advice. He agreed they could come up to get her. Then they'd talk to her family about her attitude problems and possibly some medicine to help her.
Xander went back to the tv room, settling into his chair to watch tv with the girls. "Why are we watching these limp moraled whores?" he asked after a few minutes. The girls all glared at him. "They are! None of you will ever act like that. Not even Kennedy was that bad originally. Find better role models, ladies." They huffed but changed the channel, agreeing on something pretty fast since it was a well-liked movie. Xander didn't comment even though it was a princess movie. The girls needed some fantasy life. Better a princess that had class than a loose hole like the others.
Xander walked into Sister Margaret's bar and went to Domino. "The girls need a lot of girl help. Can I lean on you for that since TNW said she's already tried and can't fix it?"
"I..." She looked up at him. "Why do you call her by her team name and not Deadpool?"
"We call him Deadpool when he's being Deadpool. When he's being Wade, he's Wade. There's a difference in there, dear." He grinned. "She goes out in her uniform all the time. She probably thinks it protects her some but she could probably blend in better without it. I taught all the girls that names had meaning and worth because theirs do too. If the bad side find out who they are or their family are they become bigger targets."
"I get that," she decided. "So a lot of the time Deadpool's..."
"Wade around the girls. Yeah. He's been good to the girls, especially the older girls he helps spar with." She grinned. "But the girls desperately need womanly help. Please?"
"Sure." She got up and paid her tab, following him out and to the slayer house. He pointed at the squealing going on. "Sounds like a happy moment."
"Sounds more like someone found a mouse again." He took her up there. "Ladies, this is Domino. She's part of X-Force with Wade." They pulled her in to talk to her. "Please fix the girl issues." He spotted the mouse that had them all squealing while up on tables holding crossbows or daggers. He caught it and took it to release outside. Wade walked in looking confused at the mouse hand off. "The girls spotted it. Some even thought to grab their crossbows instead of their daggers."
"That's great. Sparring?"
"They're having massive girl issues again so I talked Domino into being an older girl sort they could ask for help." He grinned. "Between the whore clothes coming back for school, the one boyfriend I'm going to skin alive and hang off a roof, and the fighting.... Though we don't have to worry about Bethany. Giles came up with three enforcers to drag her to Cleveland for her shit. I tranq darted her when she tried to kick them around and couldn't manage it. I got her records, which included her missing training times for mall time. They'll get her mentored with Kennedy if she can put up with her."
"That's always a good thing. The girls could use more women in their lives." Xander nodded, sitting down. "No kid?"
"Penny and Brad snuck home yesterday with him so I'd quit getting guy time with him."
"You could go to the bar for guy time, Xander."
"No I can't. I always feel like I have to prove I'm a guy there."
"Point. Though almost no one is going to jump you." Xander gave him a look. "Though a lot of them do think you're a bit girly thanks to the slayers. We've had a lot of turnover for deaths and retirements due to girlfriends or injuries. I'm not sure the bar's still safe for the girls."
"I'm hoping so." He looked up at the girlish screaming going on. "Wow, our other spoiled one is having a fit. Need help?" he yelled.
"Nope. We're talking like women," Domino called back.
"Okay. Sparring room is up the hall and to the left." He looked at Wade, who was now lounging on the couch. "She asked why I don't call you Deadpool. I had to point out that sometimes you're Deadpool and sometimes you're Wade."
"True. I do relax around the girls. They're mostly good girls. When are Colossus and Kara getting back?"
"When she's healed." He grinned. "She's out of school this semester anyway. He can probably send stuff up since they have internet."
"That's good. Is she healing all right?"
"Yeah. She said he's been great help to her poor skull and is gently giving her scalp massages to help the headaches."
Wade shook his head quickly. "I didn't expect him to be rough but that's real delicate." Xander grinned and nodded. "I know Penny likes some rough stuff."
"Piotr got all blushy and apologetic he gave her fingerprints when we were in England."
"Ah! Yeah, I kinda figured him for that sort, and with the lights off, all that."
"Though there were a few incidences of sex in a mall bathroom. Or a club bathroom once by the rumors the girls were spreading." Wade grinned, shaking his head. "As far as I know they're back together. If not, they'll end up friends with benefits."
"Probably, yeah." He looked at the silent girl that walked in and pouted. "School problems or in the kingdom of girlfriends?"
She pouted. "I wanted a nice night out without a lot of attention. Yukio told me we can't do that."
"Yes you can," Xander said. "You in your uniform draws attention. You in jeans and a cute t-shirt won't draw nearly as much attention."
"They'll still recognize us."
"Sure, there's groupies," Xander agreed with a grin. "But if you go to teenage places and are dressed like a teenager instead of a superhero, you get treated like a teenage girl." She frowned. "Yeah. Go out like you're a pair of cute lesbian girlfriends instead of X-Men. Go to a club that's kinda safe so you don't have to worry about working, and have some damn fun. You and Yukio both need fun in your lives. Or you turn into me."
She scowled. "I'm not going to turn into you. You don't have a girlfriend."
"I have had girlfriends. Even we went on dates, even though Anya thought they were a waste of time and money. Now I'm single. I'm seeing a roadsign for you, dear."
"Have a night as yourself, not TNW."
She snorted but looked amused. "Fine. When is Piotr coming back?"
"When he wants to."
"She's mostly fully healed but he's been giving scalp massages and has been liking driving off the guys who want to flirt with Kara on the beach."
"Yeah, he's got a tiny possessive growl about her too. He called and got to growl about her bikini the other day." She was almost blushing. "We didn't know he knew how to growl."
"Your girl in a bikini being flirty will bring one up most times," Wade joked with a grin for her. "I agree. Go out being Ellie for a night, not the X-Man Teenage Negasonic Warhead. Even Logan has to do that sometimes, though his usual uniform is just his scrungy jeans and t-shirts and leather jacket."
She nodded. "We can do that. What's the good, safer club this week?"
"We cleaned out Club Mysterio last week."
Wade gave him an odd look. "Is it run by the guy with a fishbowl on his head?"
"Not sure. It was run by a group of cultists who wanted to use the energy given off by the crowds dancing to summon things."
"Yeah, I think we'll skip that one, Xander. Any idea?"
"Few near Columbia?"
"I can look that up. Thanks, guys." She looked up. "Are they unscrewed?"
"I asked Domino to be an older woman sort since you couldn't unscrew the problems."
She nodded. "So much worse than the girls in the school sometimes."
"It's not you or their duties."
"It's probably the older slayers part of the download," Xander agreed. "Buffy's part is why all of them shop. Faith's is why they like to try to play pool."
She shook her head, looking at his current shirt. "You need to shop."
"Yeah well I'm a guy, we don't shop."
"And my wallet got stolen from again so I have no idea where my paycheck is."
"Still need to set up a stash," Wade said. Domino came down the stairs looking pissed off. "That big of a problem?"
"Yes!" She looked at Xander. "They're not allowed to shop?"
"Nope. They're all grounded because my wallet got stolen by one of them." He grinned. "Until I get it and the money back, nope, they're all grounded from that. Only club hunts. Not that they need it, they all have overly full closets. They got that from Buffy's part of the slayer imprint."
"Figures." She nodded at the younger girl. "You tried. I think this time it'll take a mom."
"I'd ask Al but she'd probably paddle some of them." The girls were coming down the stairs putting on jackets. "You're all still grounded for stealing, ladies."
"But, Xander," one whined.
"Suck it. You guys stole from me, you're grounded. Just like normal kids get." They pouted, going back upstairs. He looked at Domino, who grinned at that decision. "Sorry but they're to grow up as normally as possible."
"Yes they should," she agreed. "The fighting is over guys."
"Half of those aren't old enough to date. I have to approve of any one-on-one dates before senior year. And then I get the right to beat the living shit out of a bad date. They get their first bad girl heels as they call them for graduation."
She nodded. "That's not a bad thing. I got mine earlier but I needed 'em." She went back up there to talk to the girls with TNW. She heard Xander groan but looked back finding him going limp in his chair. She looked at the teenager next to her. "Him and Wade?" she asked quietly.
"Xander said they're both too bouncy so it won't happen." She shrugged. "We all hoped. Xander could really use a date or six."
"That's a dirty thought," Domino quipped.
"Hey, hit on Xander. You're probably dangerous and deadly enough for him and I've never heard him called more than good to his lovers."
"I've heard he makes them all squeal happy. Not sure if I can squeal or not." They went back in to talk to the girls about girl things. They were pouty but yay. They were teenage girls and had to have some rules. When they said Buffy wouldn't have grounded them, they called the Cleveland house to talk to Faith since Buffy was off yelling at a principal. Faith insisted that if the girls down there had stolen the way they had they would've been kicked to a boarding school after being beaten. Xander was really nice to them to only ground them.