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Be Careful Where You Wish

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Because Dragfox needs some stress relief. So do a few others.
Be Careful Where You Wish

The guy in the bar was listening to a few conversations going on around him. And one that was happening on another plane but was about him so he was hearing about it.

"We need to negate the wish that one's still owed before he uses it for something that'll become a problem. Who knows what he'll use it for!"

Xander shook his head, looking at the women around him, one of who was being harassed by a douchey motherfucker.

"Hey, Omega, how about finding a real alpha."

She looked him up and down. "Why, you pimping your friend out?" He choked on his lite beer. "Because you're not one, dude."

"How would you know?" he sneered. "Little omega like you!"

"Sorry but there's plenty of women alphas. Look at lion prides, all female headed. Tigers are single so they can dump the worthless males they'd have to upkeep. Even meerkats are matrilineal." She stared at him. "Also, in wolf packs, the elder females are some of the most honored." He stomped off. She waved at his back. "Let us know when you find a real alpha male to follow." She sipped her martini with a head shake.

Xander leaned closer to her. "If you need to get away from a guy like that, come let me heckle them for you so you're safe." He sat back up, grinning at her. "Not into flirting or anything but guys like that annoy the fuck outta me." He grinned again, going back to his stout. The woman just nodded and went to find a few female friends. But that was a great thought to have. A way to open up the wannabe to real alphas? Hmm.

"I really wish men would realize they're not all that alpha," that woman complained loudly.

"Don't we all wish those sort of male beings would realize their place in the alpha hierarchy," he quipped into his beer. He felt the wish demons who had been complaining about his owed wish flinch at that one. He grinned at his beer, listening to them try not to grant it. But the guy in charge had wanted them to grant something, anything, so the owed wish was used.

Across the country, a young sorcerer was pouting that women wouldn't talk to him. He had to find a way to prove to a girl that he was worth dating. He was fifteen and that sort of thing stuck to a guy's reputation and would make him look like a creeper forever. He found a spell online by someone named WR on a spell site full of wacky spells that most people thought were mythical. He had mistyped his instagram address apparently.

He glanced it over since it was wacky. It was to make a guy an alpha male worthy of respect. He had most everything, just needed a crystal and his mother had a few of them that she meditated with. That night was an eclipse during a full moon. The perfect night for this. He went up to sneak one back to his hidden area in the garage. It never hurt to try, right? Maybe it'd make him a babe magnet. He cast it, knocking himself out for the next month. By the time he woke up, the world was going to be a bit different.

The wish demons were screaming in anger and pain but oh well! They wanted him to use the wish for anything.

Xander felt it starting and grinned, going to get another beer. It was a happy night for a chaos sorcerer in hiding. The woman that stomped up to him he nodded at. "Need walked to your car, miss?" She nodded, looking pissed off. "Okay. You're a good sister." He winked and walked off with her, tipping the bartender on the way. The guy bothering her stared at him but Xander smirked and patted his dagger on his hip. The guy backed off quickly. He walked her to her car and went back to his motel for the night.

He had some energy to channel to his higher authority. If he did it right, it'd spread to another of the nine realms at least. Maybe even all of them.


In the morning, people woke up noticing something different had happened. Some people had really weird scents suddenly, and people who didn't usually care were suddenly smelling people. Xander watched as the news started off about the weird magical currents last night. They even asked Willow Rosenburg of the Council about it. She explained last night was a major working time for magical rituals but she wasn't sure what had happened. She had felt something, no idea what it was for. She was still looking with the coven's members.

Xander sent her a text message about the sorcerer that he had heard was knocked out thanks to whatever he had done. He wasn't near there but he told her he had seen it online. Whoever was holding her phone sent her a message and she noted she had to look that up. It was on a few message boards. Some people who were fanfiction writers were noticing the similarities. Xander grinned at that.

She found it while the reporters watched over her shoulder. And they announced what it might be before she could. The coven showed up to read those same messages and tested, confirming the suspicions. Willow found a mention of the spell and groaned since it was hers. She apologized for her wacky, anti-flirty guy moment's spell. The coven took her off to see if they could undo it. They'd send a report later about anything they found.

In his motel room Xander snickered and held up the glass of mead. "To you, Lord Loki. Enjoy it." He sipped and put the glass back on his portable altar setup. He felt the energy be accepted and a slim looking brunette showed up to drink the rest of that glass. He grinned at his higher authority. "They wanted that wish used." Loki held up a hand, manifesting more mead to gulp, twice, then looked at him. Xander grinned. "The ones under D'Hoffryn wanted me to use that wish before I used it for something weird or too strong." He shrugged and grinned. "The ladies in the bar made the actual wish in my hearing and I just backed it up. The little Janus worshiping sorcerer in Alameda cast the spell."

Loki stared at him for a moment then refilled the glass again. "It hit Asgard."

Xander grinned. "You're welcome."

"I'm a bit outside all that. And you're not an alpha, Xander."

"I know that. I'm pretty much a beta male." He waved a hand with a grin. "It was Willow's spell originally." Loki moaned but nodded once, downing that glass. "It hit the supernatural contingent as well." Loki spluttered and choked, making Xander sit up with a smirk. "Even D'Hoffryn."

"Oh, Goddess," Loki moaned. Xander blew a kiss. Loki took the glass with him to see what the others had turned out as. D'Hoffryn was now a beta male. Thor...he wasn't a strong alpha. Sif was a stronger alpha. Loki himself read as all three and none at the same time. Which fit him just fine really. Heimdall was an alpha male; everyone forgot he was a warrior underneath the shiny armor. This was going to be very interesting. Would the hammer still find Thor worthy enough to be the prince? Heimdall caught him looking and stared at him until Loki shrugged back. "I did not do it. Some women prompted the wish because men are unworthy on Midgard."

Heimdall nodded once. "I've seen. Your worshiper is quite cranked."

"Yes, and that's from the women around him, one of which made the spell."

Heimdall moaned. "The redheaded chaos witch is a menace to many men."

"There's alpha females, Heimdall. Sif in particular."

Heimdall nodded. "She always was. Only weak men underestimated her." Loki grinned as he walked off. Heimdall sent for the Council of Asgard and the queen. The king was still under sleep healing. The Council showed up followed by Frigga. "A spell was cast on Midgard last night by a young chaos sorcerer who is devoted to Janus," he announced. "He found the redheaded one's spell against men who wanted to be considered warrior males who were not worthy. Some women bothered by men of that nature wished that someone would prove to them what an alpha male is."

Frigga stared at him. "They created an alpha male system?"

"No. They've sorted all men in all realms into an alpha, beta, omega structure like in that one scroll of prophecy, My Queen." She winced. "Most of those who thought they were alpha are not. Many are rightfully finding out their omega status this day." The Council shuddered as a group. "Including some of ours."

"Thor?" she asked with a wince.

"Is an alpha but not the strongest of them. It was noted Sif was a strong alpha."

"Yes she is," she agreed, looking amused. "My other son?"

"His high priest was owed a wish and the woman who cast the wish did it in his presence. The higher ups wanted to negate him having an owed wish." He shrugged. "He is...amused."

"I'm sure he is." She cleared her throat. "We must announce that the sorting has happened. Bring out that prophecy scroll so it can be shared." They nodded, going to do that. She looked at him. "Really, Heimdall?"

"The sorcerer was a mere boy, nearly an adult, and wanted girls to like him." He shrugged. "He now follows Janus as he was claimed."

"Dear Goddess Gaia," she muttered as she walked off. She was handed the scroll and read it on the way to the throne room. She walked over to the gong to ring it so she could make the announcement. She moved up to stand in front of the throne. "People," she said when they appeared. "A prophecy has come to pass." She held it up then handed it to Thor to read, getting out of his way.

He read it over once then read it out loud, making many moan. "It mentions a witch? One of ours?" he asked his mother.

"No, one on Midgard who was unduly bothered by men in the pubs created the spell. A young sorcerer who wanted to attract a good woman cast it. The wish that prompted him was cast by other women being bothered by unworthy men in a bar who were near a chaos person with an owed wish." Thor winced. "As it happened on Midgard, it has happened here," she announced. "I want our healers to determine how to tell which level you ended up as." The healers bowed to her. "It will cause much social change I know, but it could be worse. We have seen weirder things." The others nodded and went to spread that news.

Thor handed back the scroll. "I need to shake Loki," he muttered.

"He had nothing to do with this, Thor." Thor slumped, staring at her. "His high priest is the one that the wish was cast near with the owed wish. The ones it was owed to wanted him to use it so caught the first wish he heard." Thor grimaced but nodded. "The sorcerer pup was claimed by Janus. The redheaded witch with the maiden valkyries was the one who created the spell."

"She needs burned," he muttered, walking off. "I will make sure I'm still worthy."

"Thank you, Thor." She sat down on the throne with a sigh. This was going to be a loud few days. "Maybe I'll finally get grandchildren," she sighed, relaxing for now. She could already hear people screaming about this in the streets. "We need a new teaching play," she decided, calling in her favorite author to write one for them very quickly.


Willow stared at the coven. "You had me put them on that site as a warning. It was not my fault he found that thing!"

"I don't think we understood how strong some of those were, Willow."

"That was in the journal she was using to work out weird dreams," another one noted. "We thought it would do others good to see that such things happened and could be fought off. None of us thought that a young man would ever think of casting it."

Willow groaned. "There's got to be a higher being involved." She looked around. "Whistler!" she summoned loudly. He appeared, blinking at her. "Why did he cast that?"

"He wanted to be able to prove himself worthy of a girlfriend. He's fifteen, Rosenburg. Do you remember that age?" She slumped but nodded. "Though, not fully his idea." The witches all perked up at that. "There was some wish demon interference. Your buddy Xander had a wish owed they wanted to be used. So when a woman in the bar wished that men like that would leave her alone and find out how alpha they weren't...." He waved a hand, staring at her.

"He found the spell because of that wish," she sighed. Whistler nodded with a grimace. "Are there female alphas?"

"Willow!" one of the elder witches complained.

"Yes," Whistler said, shocking her and a few others. "There's female alphas and male omegas."

"Are omegas the only fertile ones?" Willow asked, wincing some. "Like in some stories?"

"In a few generations it'll slowly move there."

"Can we undo it?" the witch asked.

He looked at her. "If you could, the other nine realms would really enjoy that. So would some higher demon societies." Willow shuddered. "But that sorcerer has been claimed by Janus so he'll be watched over once he wakes up." He looked at the witches. "If D'Hoffryn's kind hadn't wanted that wish used it would've been a lot softer and only lasted a few generations." He shrugged. "Her wacky idea was just a part of the puzzle." He disappeared.

"We can announce that," Willow sighed. "Not that I blame that woman for making that wish. I've made it more than once. It's why I quit going to the pub." She walked off to set out the formal announcement. It was going to be nasty when the slayer teams woke up later that morning. The girls were going to be amused but the male watchers were going to have a fit. The other witches came in to help her not give too much information. They could find that young sorcerer to talk to him when he woke up.


Willow appeared in front of the same reporters, waving a paper just off camera. One of the assistants took it to read over and winced. It was handed over and Willow went to hide. The reporter took the note and read it from the statement. His co-anchor stared at him so he let them project it onto the screen. "So it appears that there was a confluence of crack last night," the announcer said finally. Then he smiled. "I understand why women would want to get away from that sort of man. I met my wife rescuing her from one of that sort. From other men, I'm really sorry they bothered you that much."

His co-anchor nodded. "Yes I am as well. I'm glad I haven't been like that since high school." He sighed. "So we have to find out how to tell which part of the spectrum we ended up on I guess."

"It was nice they noted that it was sorted gender neutral," the first anchor said. Then he shook his head. "I'm guessing my wife is going to be an alpha." He grinned at the camera then at his cohost. "Yours?"

"My ex-wife? Probably not. My present one? She likes to nurture pets so maybe not." They cut to commercial. It let them have a minute and a half to throw a fit at magic users and wish demons. And weak men who bothered women in bars.


Xander answered the phone that night with a grin. "Yes, Ethan?"

"I must say, young one, you have topped my Halloween power raising."

Xander smirked. "I didn't have a thing to do with it beyond being in the bar, Ethan."

"Yes, I'm aware of it. So you did much more with less effort and were the center of the eye of the spell. You have reordered the worlds. You have created migraines in multiple chaos deities. I'm about to set up a shrine to you."

Xander chuckled. "I don't think I've ascended but you can ask the wish demons if they'll do that to keep me out of the way."

"I might ask Janus for that boon once his head quits hurting. Can you hold off on anything else for at least a month? Let things settle?"

"I'm only owed another three wishes total, Ethan. Though I did win a bet I must admit. They're going to hate me pointing that out though. Tell Janus I'm sorry about his headache."

"I shall pray that later. Just...give us a month, young man."

"I don't have anything planned. Really."

"I suppose that will be fine. Do have fun finding out your alpha status."

"Oh, no, Ethan, I know I'm a beta. I'm not fully in charge but I can take charge if I need to. Just look at what I've done with the slayers."

"Oh, dear Lord," Ethan breathed. "Most men would've uplifted themselves to higher levels of alphaness."

"Whole lots of responsibility there. The girls would hate it."

Ethan moaned. "Oh, Lord Janus," he groaned, sounding aroused. "Thank you, lad." He hung up.

Xander put his phone next to him. Someone would be calling him for a Council conference soon he was sure. The problem he was here to watch had been stopped earlier when the gang of demons had fought for control of the pack and they had all lost. The last one had been taken out by his sister and she had demanded that the gang follow her. So no more problems. Maybe he'd go back to Cleveland to safely watch the fallout. That might be really amusing.

The End.
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