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You Got The Wrong Sibling!

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Note: Happens after the getting pregnant snippet and before the prologue where the kiddo gets to meet his dad.
You Got The Wrong Sibling!






Darcy landed and took off the jetpack around her shoulders, then wandered over to where people were yelling about things. She stared and looked at the thing in her hand before letting it grow. She opened it and looked. "This end, right?" she asked the guy next to her.

"No, other way," he said, eyes wide.

"Thanks." She turned it around but it laser blasted behind her. "Oops. Sorry! He was wrong!" she called as she turned it around and fired it at the huge problem this time. She hit the big problem a second time, severing a spot on the abdomen that meant guts spilled out and the thing died with a scream worthy of a drama queen having a moment. She sighed and put it back into the box, which reshrank. "Anything else, dear?" she asked, smiling at someone.

Harley bounced over to hug her. "Thanks for the help. No Xander?"

"I have him tied to the bed. He wouldn't let me fuss at his new hundred-sixteen stitches on his side. He was being a *man* so I tied him down to fuss at him." She grinned. "I was just going to bed when you texted him for help."

"I noticed the jammies. They're cute! Do they have puppy or kitty ones?"

"Oh, yeah! It's my favorite etsy shop!" She gave her another hug. "I'll email the addy to you. Let me go back to bed before he picks the locks and gets free." She carried the box off, going back to the jetpack. She wiggled back into it and hitched herself in. "Oh, nearly forgot." She bent down to get the hair clip that had been holding her pants up to put it back into place. "They're a bit loose," she said to the guys staring at her. She wiggled her fingers before taking off. "Have a better night, guys!"

"Thanks, sis!" Harley called with a grin and a wave. Her teammates stared at her. "That's my sister."

"Like from the foster family?" DuBois asked.

"No, my half sister Darcy."

"Oh, heard you talk about her." He nodded. "She's...cute."

"She is and very normal. She's into science things and maternally fussing at things. Apparently Xander needed it."

"Her husband?" he asked.

"No, our half-brother. Darcy's dad got busy at some music concerts," she said dryly, then rolled her eyes. "I told you guys about Xander and Darcy."

"Yeah, you have," another one said with a nod. "Cute pajamas."

"Did you want her to take the time to change?" Harley asked.

"No," Rick Flagg said as he walked over rubbing his sore arm. "She okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Going home to nag Xander into being taken care of for his new stitches on his side. Apparently he fussed that he could do it on his own again so she handcuffed him." She shrugged. "Xander does weird, dangerous things. The hundred-sixteen stitches just proved it better than some other times." He whined and nodded, mostly because he was that same sort of guy.

"Thankfully I can't fuss like Darce can. I don't think many mothers these days can fuss like Darce can." She walked off. "She's cool though. She loves my hyenas, I love her Torchit Bob. We like to hang out and watch cheesy tv. She threatened Selena with Xander if she didn't treat me right even though we're not dating." She grinned back at the guys. "Can we escape the clean up?"

"Yeah, let's do that," Flagg agreed with a nod. He waved. "To the cars, people. Before we get press people here." They followed him back to the car they were using, a few more checking their injuries. "How did she get the weapon?"

"She probably got it off Xander. He does still keep a good emergency arsenal. Just in case he gets sucked back into Council things."

"I forgot what your brother did. Do we think she's handing it back to him or can someone look at it?"

Harley smirked at him. "Remember, she works at Stark."

"True. Someone there probably will but they won't let us have those toys, Quinn."

She shrugged. "I knew Xander would have something. That's why I texted him when we realized we didn't have big enough guns."

"That'll work for us. Let's hope others leave them alone."

She patted him on the arm. "Xander will have her eaten," she said happily. "Waller will not get near Xander without him doing that."

"I didn't think about that." He considered it then smiled at that possible outcome. Their comm line had went silent during the battle. Maybe it was blocked.

***

Darcy landed and wiggled back out of the jetpack. She put her hair back up with her hair clip, then walked around Stark. "Hey, bossman."

"Lewis, where did that come from?"

"Xander. Harley texted they needed some bigger weapons help. Since Xander's being a man sort and ignoring his injuries, so I have him locked to the bed, I went in his place." She smiled at him. "Besides, if he got injured there someone like that team may try to entice him to come in or kidnap him or something. Waller's like that from what we've heard."

"Yeah, she is. And a horrible problem on humanity. Go back to bed." She bounced off nodding with the weapon being cuddled. He took the jetpack to put back into his safe. No one that could fly a quinn jet had been closer and he wasn't able to fly right now due to an ear infection throwing his balance off.

Which had led to him crashing his suit so he was doing repairs at the moment. Thankfully Xander had a helpful tool this time. Again. Tony went back to his own bed to rest and get ready for some government agent somewhere showing up to talk about Lewis due to her helping.

***

Xander looked at the agent that tried to break into the lab, holding a gun on him. "If you think I'm in a nice enough mood to give you a merciful death, you're wrong, dude." The agent paused, staring at him. "Why are you trying to break into Dr. Foster's lab?"

"Who're you to demand anything! I'll have you arrested!"

"I'm stopping you in the commission of a crime. And I'm supposed to be here watching out for their stuff. So present your ID and why you're breaking into a lab in a private company's complex. Before I call the security team to come clean up my mess."

"You're nothing."

"I'm actually retired from the Council. Which means I've handled bigger than you with a sword." Xander smirked a bit, waving the gun. "Hey, Hill, this idiot was actually trying to break in."

"We saw, Harris." She pulled out zip ties and got him cuffed. "Put it up. You're still injured."

"Yeah but Sis had to go fill in for me last night." He stared at the guy, who was whining at that. "So are you here for my sister or Dr. Foster?" The man didn't say anything. "You have fun with him, Hill."

"I can do that, Harris. No Bob?"

"They've got him outside for some sun and a picnic."

"That's wonderful. The little thing could probably use some sun." She walked the agent off to talk to him. He looked at her in the elevator and swallowed hard. "Yes, I am that Maria Hill," she said smugly. "Now head of Stark Security. Let's go talk about your faulty wiring problem."

She walked him off to the security interrogation room to talk to him. "What was your idea if you did manage to break into one of our labs? It's not like we weren't watching the whole time. We have eyes on every single doorway in this building and all the ones on the block around us."

"I don't have to say anything."

"Sure, you can keep doing that while your bosses ignore you exist. Because they won't get to bail you out for sneaking into a secured, classified material filled building." The guy swallowed again. "I'm pretty sure the rest of SHIELD will *adore* talking to your boss." She smirked again as the door behind her opened and someone walked in. "Yes, Dr. Foster?"

"Was he there for my stuff? We did have that one person that broke in to steal some science last week."

"No idea. He's pretending to be mute."

"Xander knows someone who has an alligator. Would that help?"

Hill smiled. "It's not legal but I haven't fully put him under arrest. He's just in interrogation so far." She looked at him but the agent was trying to shrink down. "Do they allow such bad posture at the FBI, Agent Donnaley?" He winced.

"Yes, we know who you are. We have your full file up already. Down to the teenage girl you dumped because she thought she was pregnant." Jane left them to talk with a smile about that mean moment. "So why were you breaking into Dr. Foster's lab? Were you after science or her assistant?"

"I was supposed to bring her assistant in. No one should have that level of weapons!"

"That's technically not on the disallowed list. No laser based weapon from a demon plane is." The man winced. "And it's not hers. It's her brothers. He won it at poker. He's allowed to have any weapon he damn well pleases because he handles demon emergencies even though he's retired." She looked smug. "Anything else?"

"She...."

"She had her brother tied down to handle his injuries but their half-sister needed help. Not like your agents stepped in to help. SHIELD was too far away apparently." He slumped again. "You can tell whoever had that idea to blow me and make it good enough to forget they exist." She stood up. "But you're still going to be in SHIELD custody." She waved and an agent came in. "Have Agent Donnaley here please. He wanted Lewis to become a villain."

"She's perky and nice, it'd be epic if she did," the agent said blandly. "Though I'm pretty sure we'd all just tell her brother to calm her down because she cares too much about humanity to be an evil overlord sort." He walked the agent off to take him back to base.

***

Waller went to complain to her contacts in DC. That sent one of them to the president to talk him into reviewing his order that one person could have that sort of weapons. The president stared at the idiot in front of him then turned on a video. He put the remote down and let the idiot see it. "Can you point that young man out?" he asked smugly.

"Um... Not really."

"He's the one there with the axe." He paused it on a frame, it was from a news report so they got some closeups. "Do you recognize him now?"

"Was he...that's a Council thing."

"Yes and he's retired from there before he killed all the senior board for being annoying brats. He grew up with Rosenburg actually."

"That's Wells?"

"No, that's Harris. The one who had been in Africa." The senator winced at that. "Who put you up to this dumb idiot moment?" he asked dryly, leaning back.

"Amanda Waller would like the one who showed up in her pajamas to help her team. She said that young man had the weapon she used and defeated her agents who were going to arrest her for using it."

"Oh, yes, her. No. Denied permanently. That's Darcy Lewis, assistant to Dr. Foster, has some pull on Thor as they found him first, and Harris' half-sister. One of two. The other's in Waller's command and Harris is probably going to end Waller to get his sister free, even though she's fairly brutally nuts." He grinned when the senator stared at him. "That same young man is the one who took out the Joker."

"Oh," he said weakly.

"He was said to be protecting his half-sister, Lewis, by taking out his other half-sister's ex-boyfriend."

"Um, he was dating some blonde with a hammer wasn't he?"

"Yes. Doctor Harleen Quinzel. Or Harley Quinn in villain terms. Who is under Waller's control right now." The senator winced and nodded once. "Xander Harris could very easily take out Waller and we'd put it on pay-per-view. Frankly, even if the guy turned into worse than the one he took out, we'd just clap him on the back because he'd make things better by the end. He did with the Slayers. It's just that he grew up with Rosenburg. He stopped her from ending humanity too I'm told."

"Oh." He nodded once again. "All right. I'll let Waller know she's tangling with a heroic sort and his sister was just filling in?"

"By what she said that night, she had Harris cuffed down to fuss at his injuries. Men like him hide and lick their sore paws, they don't get babied by their sisters."

"Do others know about him?"

"He calls Maria Hill She Who Barks," the president said dryly. "She apparently sent SHIELD people down to infiltrate the slayers and they discounted Harris completely." He smiled. "Didn't work out too well for SHIELD. He's now retired and freelancing but does spend a lot of time hovering over Lewis to make sure his past doesn't bother her or Dr. Foster."

"I guess that makes sense. I'll let her know." He stood up. "Can he really have any weapon he wants?"

"Yup. He'll only use it to stop something huge, not in a mall or on some random idiot on the street who annoys him. Not even on a reporter, which I might like to see as well." He grinned. "The boy's not dangerous to anyone but people trying to upset what little he has left or trying to take out humanity. Don't be that way around him if you want to be safe, Jacob."

"I'm never like that anyway. I'd be out of a job. Thank you, Sir." He left to call Waller as he got driven home. "It's Jacob. You're out of luck, Waller. He's formerly Council. The president made me identify him on a tape of a battle. He's Council, she's related somehow to Thor being down here, and that's his half-sister in the pajamas, and one of yours is as well.

"I don't know, ask Quinn yourself, Waller, but you won't get him without him destroying you. Which the president said he'd want pay-per-view to watch. He looked pleased at that idea actually." He hung up and relaxed. He did not want to step in that mess again. It was a great warning.

***

Waller hung up and went to have Quinn pulled out of her cell and brought to a room. She stared at her. "What is that woman who showed up to you?"

"Half sister. We share a father." She stared at her. "It's in the files, Waller."

"She could be here with you."

"I doubt that since she's not a bad girl sort." She grinned. "My ex tried, that's why he died. Because our shared brother got him with a demonic virus that ate all his nerves in his brain." Waller looked disturbed. "He lasted for months as a vegetable but I know Puddin' wouldn't have wanted that so when they suggested I agreed for them to pull the plug.

"He almost woke up once but just screamed for an hour straight then went back out." She shifted to cross her legs. "Xander's protective that way. He did for the slayers for years. Almost a decade. He's always protected Darcy from the duty he did. So do I. Darcy's sweet and normal. She bakes and shit." She waved a hand. "She's not one of us. Even if she can pick up something to fill in now and then."

"We can change that."

"I doubt you'd find a reason. Stark does background check and did one on her too I'm sure." Waller glared. She stared back. "Also, threatening Darcy means that Xander has to react and you won't survive. We'll have popcorn while you're tortured but you won't survive it." She smiled and shrugged a bit. "It'll be fun for us."

"Don't make me set that bomb off in your brain, Quinn."

Harley laughed. "He might avenge me. He is heroic that way." She stood up. "You can't make me call Darcy to give herself and her ways up to join us here. If you touch her, you're screwing with Thor's people since Darcy can lift the hammer sometimes."

Waller stepped back, looking disturbed at that. "And she's got a living pokemon one of Xander's ex's made for her." She walked over to the guard. "Let's go. This isn't amusing until my baby bro comes for her. Or one of his poker debts does." She got walked back to her cell, giggling about who it was that would avenge her. Or Darcy. "You know, those systems that check your head and ass for contraband really don't work that well if you have shrapnel."

The guards nodded. "But none of you are the sort of person to hide it that hard, Quinn," one told her.

She giggled. "We're not the standard ones. You should know that by now." She was patted down before being put into her cell. It totally missed the thing that Xander had taught her to do to her arm.

***

Harley was sent out on the next suicide mission, mostly to get her killed off because Waller was still pissed at her. It of course went super FUBAR. Just like most of their missions did. She finally had enough so stared around. "Flagg, give me a knife," she called.

"Why?" he called back but tossed one over. "You're not going to rush that line. A single person won't stop them, Quinn." She cut a few spots on her arms. "Is this the time for that?"

"Yes!" She pulled out the stuff and put it together then tossed it at someone, who stared at it. "Use it! You're closer and have better aim!"

He nodded, turning the switch that said 'on' to that setting, then throwing it. Boom went the whole block, including some around them. They were fine, just covered in debris. Dust, blood, parts...hair. "Gross," DuBois complained loudly.

"Sorry!" Harley looked then at Flagg, handing him a gun that had hit her on the head. "Here, you probably could use that."

"I can. What the fuck was that!" he shouted with a point.

"My birthday present." She grinned. She went to find any survivors so they could make sure they only got the evil idiots and not general people.

The guys shared a look. Flagg just nodded a bit. "I'm going to shake her until she's a bobblehead." DuBois laughed but followed him to get back onto the target.

Harley leaned into the demon bar. "Sorry, had to stop the forces of evil," she called with a wave and a grin since she noted demons. "You should be okay now." She left them alone.

The head of the local community looked over. "That's Harris' other sister," he announced. They all moaned and prayed at Harris for her safety. Harris would mope forever about losing his sibling. They cautiously came out to see what they could manage to help themselves, and maybe some of the rest of the neighborhood. The chemical weapons factory a few miles away eventually went up and they were happier with that being ended. So apparently Harris' sibling was good enough to do the same job.

***

Xander answered the phone and grinned. "I'll give her your thanks for sparing you, Piotr. Anything I can do to help the community down there?" He listened and nodded, making a note. "I can send that down later. Sure. Let me know about that stuff. I think I let that one give me a blowjob once and I would've handled him if I had heard. Thanks, man." He hung up and looked at Hill since she was walking past. "Hey, Hill? Which dirtbag did my other sister's team take down for making chem weapons?" he called.

"Let me check, Harris." She looked it up then let him see the news reports. "Knew him?"

"He lost a poker bet while drunk and had to give me a lapdance and blow job. He was really pitiful at it and was nearly crying at the lacking of manliness." He handed the tablet back with a grin. "If it's one of my ex's let me know if I can help. I can do more than hover over Jane and Darcy to protect Jane from the rabid Asgardians who hate her."

"I can do that," Hill decided, going to make that note. She had no idea about Asgardians hating Foster. Or why they would. She went to ask Thor, who huffed but told her. He had noted to leave Jane alone but not all of them had listened. Harris had apparently fixed some of that at least once.

She went to check on how that had been handled. No one had told her they had gotten someone clinging to the side of the building. The report thought he had been climbing it and drunk. Turned out he wasn't either. She went to talk to that idiot, who begged to go home to Asgard after a month in the Riker's Island.

She could arrange that though Thor.

***

"Mother fucker," Xander said as he walked past a few agents. "Oh, not you guys. You guys have never fucked in your lives." He handed one a file. "I'm going to talk to my ex. Should I ask him anything for you?" He walked past them going in the opposite direction, going to find that ex and talk to him about his hostility toward Jane and therefore Darcy.

His ex was going to be sorry. Even if Xander did have to take out some of his guards and make them sorry too by way of hallucinogenic gas grenades. He walked into the dining room, staring at his ex, who looked horrified. "Demon parts for the win," he quipped with an evil little smirk. "You did *WHAT* near my sister?" he demanded. "And why did you do such stupid things?"

"Xander!" He got up and backed away from him. "This is my new wife."

Xander nodded at her with a grin. "He's my former poker buddy and sometimes stress relief but he came near my half-sister and I'm rabidly protective over her. Sorry. I'll probably leave him living." He looked at his ex again, who was trying to escape. Xander got to hunt a little bit, which made him happy. Growly, happy good boy Xander was more than happy to have that talk in the secret office rooms. Which had cameras. That was nice for Hill's amusement.

SHIELD agents burst in about an hour after Harris had gotten there, going to find him. The new wife pointed. "They went through the secret portal there but I have no idea how it opens. I didn't know we had one."

"Ma'am, there's a whole bottom level," one agent said. "We'll make sure you and any staff are safely outside just in case. Can you gather your purse and things you may need in case Harris destroys the house? He's a bit pissed off."

"He said my husband went after his sister." She went to get what she'd need, including her husband's checkbook from his usual office. The housekeeper knew about the secret passages and let the agents into them. They made sure they were all protected. "Did we call them?" the wife asked the housekeeper.

"No, we sent an SOS to the boss's sister, who is an agent," she said. "The guards knew they were drugged somehow and one sent it." She got her calmed down. "Whoever did this is going to be in real trouble."

"The guy said he was a poker buddy and sometimes stress relief."

The housekeeper stared. "Harris?" she demanded. The wife nodded. "Why?"

"He said Pookie went near his sister."

"Oh!" She nodded. "Yeah, I'm glad I don't have to clean up a mess. Harris won't leave one." She grimaced. "I hate looking for a new job."

"If the house is okay and I can, I'll keep you all here. I'm nice and young but not that naive. What's he really into?"

"Guns. Some chemical weapons. A few other things you shouldn't have to worry about." The agents came out with their boss sobbing and walking Harris out without him being in cuffs. Another one had a set of tapes and another had a video camera. "Well, he didn't have much fun." She walked over. "Harris, did you leave me a mess?"

"No, Nadia." He grinned at her. "He went after Darcy for her boss Jane being smart and honored for it."

"Oh, that mess," she complained.

"Yeah. I didn't make a mess. We just had a talk where I growled. I even taped it for Hill's amusement since he's been bothering Stark's stuff too." He kissed her on the cheek. "My sister reminds me of you but she's sweeter and uses a taser." She smiled but swatted him. "Tell the new wife to talk to Reggie or Vougue about the business stuff if she doesn't want to take over." He winked and left with the agents leading him to his rental car.

***

Hill watched the film, getting happy with that nice present. "That's worth last night's drinking." She took it to show Stark. He groaned at the interruption but watched it without her having to say a word. Then he blinked at her. "He was annoying Foster and was trying to push against us to make us start doing chemical weapons instead. That's DeVontra."

"Awww," he said with a smug look. "He annoyed Lewis?"

"Foster. Annoyed she got honored."

"Even better. Where's Harris right now?"

"One of the questionable contacts invited him to a poker game. Not sure if it'll end up with him in the hospital or not. Even odds that they're going to try to get back at him for that." She left him to think and went to warn Darcy, who wasn't in Foster's lab. "Harris get hurt?"

"Not because of his poker buddies. Two agents tried to attack him on the way to the game. One of the poker buddies actually got him to the ER because he had been stabbed again," Jane told her. She looked over. "What happened?"

"DeVontra, who sells chemical weapons, was pushing on Stark to look at something for him and was starting to push against women in science since he didn't think you deserved it. For some reason he decided you were actually Asgardian." Jane rolled her eyes but nodded.

"So Harris went to have a talk with him. Which meant his new wife, who is nineteen, found out about their stress relief habit and his businesses." Jane snickered but nodded. "So we may have a young woman in charge of that, not sure yet." She walked off. "I'll send a team to pick them up."

"They're keeping Xander," Jane called after her. "Darcy said they could and she's sitting with him."

"Okay. I'll sit an agent there to watch over them."

***

Waller was staring at Flagg when he reported for debriefing. "Where did that weapon come from?"

"Civilian hands."

"Excuse me?"

"Civilians, Waller. I have no idea who they were or what they were. Quinn reported that the local demon bars had hidden like hell in case this backlashed on them. For all I know, one of them could've given it to some nice heroic sort down there to handle. Instead it made a huge mess and it helped us."

Waller blinked a few times. "Really?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Who sent the bomb over?"

"They had DuBois throw it for best effect. I wasn't looking that way until I heard him throw it. I was trying to find a way out of that deadlock in the direction Quinn was hiding in."

"Oh. I see." She stared at him. "What did Quinn do?"

"Went 'eww' when guts got on her shoes and told the demon bars to hide when she found one. Apologized for the mess that got made I heard."

"Why would she?"

"She's like that. They were most likely peaceful beings and didn't deserve to be mixed into that situation."

"You know something we don't?" she demanded.

"I know many things you don't." He stood up. "Anything else? The objective was met. The whole team came back." He left her to seethe again. He went to talk to Quinn, who had gotten a phone call through the proper channels. "Big problems?" he guessed.

"Darcy's with Xander in the hospital. Some idiot had him attacked by agents." She looked over at Waller. "I'd hate to be that person when he calls in a poker debt." She looked at Flagg again then smirked a bit. "He's got a few left over ones from Africa." She walked off, being put back into her cell. Flagg followed. "I promise I won't blow up the prison," she quipped.

He stared at her. "If you haven't yet I'm not sure why," he said.

"Why bother?"

"Point." He went to check on the others then to his quarters to get a shower and eat something. That night, he got called back to the prison. There was a truly high level demon in the jail. He was playing nicely with some of the guards and Waller. He walked in and went to the situation area, looking at the demon. "Did Xander send you?" he asked.

"No." The demon smiled. "We find ones like her fun. I needed amusement. Harris can't be amusing today because he's in a hospital bed." He looked at Waller, who was shrinking away from him. "So I had to find it some other way and maybe something to bet on." She tried to move away but he caught her again. "I can see why Xander likes to hunt people down for fun." He left with Waller and a few of the guards who had earned his attention.

"Thanks, Bob," some guy up the hall called. "Have a good night."

Flagg went to ask that one who that was, could they rescue Waller, and what he was going to do. Turns out the demon was going to mostly screw with her mind and leave her begging for mercy. Flagg could get behind that. Especially since he couldn't get to another plane to save her.

Quinn walked over. "Tell the poker circuit that Xander will be fine. Darcy said the stab's not that bad but the doctor thinks it's really near a vein so they're worried and kept him overnight."

"I can tell the others, Quinn. Nice work."

"It was my birthday present." She grinned, heading back to her cell.

Flagg went to make sure she was locked back in, putting the whole prison in lockdown for the night. Just in case more demons showed up to play with people like they were fun toys. Quinn was going to drive him nuts. Absolutely and totally out of his mind. Her half-siblings weren't any nicer to him apparently either.

***

Darcy looked up as someone knocked then entered the hospital room. "Do we know you?" she asked politely, putting her tablet down.

"I'm Mr. Borgi."

"I met him when Xander was in the hospital last time." She smiled slightly. He winced. "So who are you really?"

"I took over his things."

"Ah. And why did you need my half-brother? Who is still injured." She kept staring at him over the rim of her glasses.

"We wanted to talk to him about what your half-sister used down there."

She shrugged. "How would Xander know? She won it at poker."

He considered it for a second. "How did she do that?"

"She was in Gotham." She shrugged. "Her and her hyenas."

The guy just nodded once. "So he didn't give it to her?"

"No." She shook her head. "Not as far as I know and he's sedated. He woke up a bit growly and the nurse freaked out at the glowing eye thing." He left them alone. "Have a great day," she called after him with a wave. She picked back up her tablet and got back to reading. Xander grunted. "Still just me. Whoever that was left."

He hummed and tried to shift. "If you do that you'll have to stay in here longer. That's where you've got the wound, Xander." He huffed but laid back down. She petted over his hair until he calmed back down. "I wonder who has her hyenas," she said, sending an email to someone down there who could ask her if she needed to pet sit. Then she got back to reading and petting.

Stark leaned in a bit later, staring at her. "Is he not okay?"

"He woke up growly so the nurse sedated him," she said with a grimace.

"Oh." He nodded. "How did your half-sib get that weapon?"

"No idea. As far as I know she won it at poker."

"That's great. People are wondering."

She nodded. "That figures." She grinned. "We'll be back tonight and Jane hasn't emailed an SOS."

"She's doing math on the porch with Bob." He left them to rest again. Xander would be fine. She wasn't involved in getting arms to a known villainess. Harris wasn't either. That was great. He took off the image inducer when he got into the car.

Darcy grinned at Xander. "It'd be nice if he knew enough to not wear Old Spice since Tony doesn't." She hacked that video footage to send to Stark, just in case they were cosplaying him in other areas. They were SHIELD agents but not that great.

Stark walked the video file down to Hill. "Some of yours want to be me, which is fairly common I'm sure, but they're trying too hard. Lewis said they stunk of Old Spice." He strolled off again.

She ran it and sighed then sent it over to the main base. They could beat their own people. She was busy today with Lewis in the hospital beside her brother and the normal things happening around the building. She got an alert that Thor was stomping off in normal clothes but with the hammer and looking pissed off. She went to see what was going on this time. "Thor?" she called. "Do I need to get them a security escort?"

"Nay, they will be taking their foulness away from me and this city," he ordered, staring at that being. They shrank away from him before one of the Asgardian guards showed up to grab them. "Do relieve them of my presence."

The guard bowed. "As you will it, Prince Thor." They grabbed them to take off.

Thor huffed. "Some beings do not have sense. Many prove it by showing that off." He walked back inside, shaking his head. "Jane, our scientists are mad that you have done what they cannot," he called from the elevator on the lab floor. "I have sent the head of the academy off again."

"Thank you. Before I have to borrow one of Darcy's tasers," she called back.

He grunted, going to get something to drink from the tea service and calm himself down again. "My mother would not have put up with that nonsense." Clint looked over. "They are mad that Jane has accomplished what they cannot."

"Many guys get pissed that women are smarter. The better ones of us know better." Thor looked smug and nodded. "She okay?"

"Aye, so far. She probably has Bob with her at least." That got another nod and they let Thor watch game show network.

***

Flagg looked at the team that just came back. It had been a few months since Waller had been taken by a demon to be a plaything, and she was back but not healthy yet. She was definitely more scared of things since she openly flinched at any noise. But this team had been sent on a mission, and had reported that it was already handled. "Who handled it?" he asked patiently.

"No clue," one of them said happily. "But the locals said that the guy was gone. Dead and gone and all his people were let go of. Though a few have been asked to go work with the slayers for some reason."

Flagg frowned. "Why would they?"

"Assassins make good watchers apparently. They can kill bad things, remember which are the bad things, and train the girls without going into overboard problems with them," another said.

Harley leaned in to grin at them, no matter that the guard was pulling on her arm. "You guys have some fun?"

"No, someone got there first," the head of the team told her.

"Awwww! We had the same thing our last minor mission." She let herself be drug off again. She came back, dragging the guard. "I know it wasn't Xander. He's been on Jane's couch guarding her from the Asgardians who hate that she did stuff they couldn't scientifically. Even Thor's lost his temper on them according to Darce. So I know it wasn't him even if it seems like it would've been." She let herself be drug off again. "I'm going!" she complained. "Quit pulling!"

"Shut up!" the guard complained back.

Flagg looked at the door then at them. "That was one of my possibles too." They nodded at that. "Did we see anyone?"

"Some pretty girls staring at the wreckage," one said with a shrug. "Seemed amused. She said Aria would be pissed they got there first."

"Aria...."

"Didn't mention more than that as she walked off."

"Huh. Quinn!" She came back, still dragging the guard. "Do we know someone named Aria?"

"Xander does," she quipped with a smile. "It's his almost-kinda ex. She didn't want to *date* but she sure slept with him once because she had a super sex gas stuff that was fuck or die for two weeks. Her and all her girls. Darcy compared her to Octopussy when she told me about her and the other one like her." She grinned. "She sounds neat."

Flagg blinked a few times. "What?" he demanded. She came in to call Darcy so they could talk. "Um..."

She waved at the video. "Hey, sweetie. How's the sickness?"

"Pitiful," she admitted, sipping her tea. "What's up?"

"Do you know anything about that Aria lady? She may have interfered in a mission by getting there first."

"Well, her and her girls may like to do that. The last I heard they were dick teasing some generals to get nuclear secrets away from them. Xander?" she called. He came in a minute later with more tea for her. "Could Aria have messed up one of Harl's missions?"

"No, she's got a few new recruits to break and make better. She complained they're not worthy and may not ever be worthy. But they wanted to join really hard. One's even a former agent but didn't match up to her skill list." He shrugged. "Who was it this time?"

Harley looked at Flagg. "Harold Mayganat?"

"Oh, him," he said with a grimace. "Good thing he's gone. Psycho pushy pussy craving idiot. Tried to blackmail me into going on my back for him for a weapon he didn't even have, which I actually had on me, and thought I'd just give in because he was so great. I introduced him to a hell god that day and let that one court him as a minion to get him out of my hair." He shrugged. "Not worthy of anything but he sure made sure everyone knew he drove a brand new, replaced every six months, Range Rover."

"Oh, one of them," Darcy said with a nod and sipping her tea. "I've met a few of them myself."

"He literally told me all the girls bend over to let him inspect their pussies, his words, and he picks which one's the pinkest. In the middle of the bar. Even the stripper there wouldn't have bent over for him because he was tipping singles." Darcy burst out in giggles, hugging his arm. "Yeah, that sort of guy." He looked at the camera again, shrugging some but hugging Darcy before she had to run off to puke. He cleaned up the slight mess of tipped tea then tossed out the napkin. "I'm sure whoever it was had fun."

"It's not the first one though," Harley said. "We've had like three, Xander."

He raised an eyebrow and grinned. "You're welcome for one of those. The girls in Asia needed the weapons." He wiggled his fingers and hung up.

She looked at Flagg. "Well, that explains what happened a few months ago."

Flagg nodded at that. "Yeah, I guess it would. What's wrong with your sister?"

"Morning sickness. It's lasting a bit longer than average." She strolled off again, letting the guard lead her to the cafeteria.

"Oh, okay." He looked at the team. "We'll see if we can figure it out. Maybe they can come join the team legitimately." They groaned but went to hit dinner too. Flagg made notes and sealed them. It was really odd.

***

Harley got free of the jail, in a way that no one should ever talk about, and met her sister in New York. "Okay, you called in a super 911. What's up?"

"Xander's missing. I need to go talk to a few of his ex's about the cult to him." Darcy looked at her. "And I can't do that on my own or bring Jane. Or bring one of the guys. Or Natasha."

"He has a cult to him?"

"Yeah. I found that out last week. He's been gone now for two weeks and I know something's going on. Even the slayers are worried since they were told he had been taken by a non-former lover to see if he could fix something. Someone who got him from Asgard."

"Wow. How?"

"No clue! But I need to talk to Ari and Debra, who is in charge of the second group now. They won't come here again. There's no Xander to tease and nothing to steal like the last time. I can get there to them. They're expecting me to show up tomorrow. Can you help?"

"Yeah, sweetie, I can help." She looked at her stomach. "You're barely showing."

"I know." She rubbed her stomach. "But at least the sickness has stopped!" She grinned. "Finally!" Harley hugged her and helped her pack a backpack to go on that short mission of mercy.

***

Harley stepped off the boat and helped Darcy across the small space. "You steadier?"

"Yeah, the land doesn't move. Thanks." They walked up the pathway together, Darcy nodding at one guy she had met. "Brad!" She gave him a hug. "Are you here working?"

"Talking to Aria. Something weird's going on."

"Yeah, Xander got taken two weeks ago by someone who snatched him from helping Thor on Asgard. Which is why I came to see Aria and Debra."

Brad the minion frowned. "What?"

"Yeah. They even told the slayers, which worried them."

"Huh." He nodded once. "That's so weird."

"I wasn't sure if it was the cult to him maybe?"

"I've barely heard anything about them." He looked at Harley. "We know of you, ma'am."

Harley grinned, wiggling her fingers. "We're half-sibs to Xander. And each other. Darcy needed help because *no one* is going to bother my future nephew."

Brad looked at Darcy's stomach then at her face. "You're pregnant?" he demanded.

She grinned and nodded. "I wanted one so Xander helped me find the baby daddy. And if they don't stop it, Philippe will be about two-ish when the Council goes sploot."

"Oh, shit," he said, leading them inside. "We can go over that."

"Sure." She grinned and hugged a woman she had met. "Here to talk to Aria too?"

"I am, Darcy. What's..."

"She's pregnant," Brad announced. "Darcy is. Xander's getting a nephew."

The girls in the courtyard cheered at that, coming over to hug Darcy and led them inside.

Harley smiled at a few. "I'm the other half-sister of Xander. He's missing." The girls frowned at her. She nodded.

Darcy nodded. "Yeah. Got taken from Asgard for some reason." She looked at Aria, who stood up. "Where is he? Can I help?"

"Not with you being pregnant," she said firmly. She came over, laying a hand on her stomach. "It's a strong one."

"Philippe." She grinned and hugged her. "There's a vision too. When he's about two-ish." She pulled up her copy of it to hand over. "But Xander's missing."

"We heard. We can talk about his cult and see if we can find him for you, Darcy." She looked at the other one. "You're rather infamous, dear."

She grinned with a wave. "I try ya know. But Xander and I both agree, we protect Darcy from everything in our lives. And if we can't find Xander soon I'm gonna blackmail some of my teammates into watching her when she's vulnerable from not being able to stand up by herself."

Aria nodded. "That could help."

Darcy waved a hand with a snort. "We have more problems from Asgardians. They hate that Jane did science they couldn't. The head of their science academy keeps showing up to yell at her and getting in Thor's face."

Aria giggled. "He looks fun to climb."

"Jane said he was but he still threw his dirty panties onto her desk full of work." Aria and the others nodded at that, it was just like a man. They settled in the seating area to go over what happened and call around to find Xander. Or his cult.

Debra, who ran a rival group to Aria's, looked over as she hung up. "His cult does not have him but they have been doing what Xander would," she told Harley. "I know your people have run into them after the fact."

"We wondered about that." She grinned at that. "I'll tell Flagg. He'll be amused. Maybe we can coordinate who goes after which target." She shrugged. "Or if they're arrested they can let us know and maybe be put onto the team. The brain bomb shot isn't *too* bad."

Darcy held up something to look at then put it against her head, setting it off. It zapped and the bomb was rendered mute. Then she put it into her bag again. "You have to make it to the post birth party. That way you can hold him for a few minutes for me." She looked at Aria, who looked amused. She grinned. "I learned some stuff from Jane."

"Clearly you did." She shook her head, going back to the talking. "Thank you." She hung up and looked at them. "Xander is not off Asgard. Whoever took him brought him down here to talk to a Goddess then back up there to handle the thing bothering them. It's one he barely interacted with in Africa. He's said to be pouty that he couldn't solve it himself but he's got a young kid himself and can't leave him parentless. Whoever they were they took out his wife."

"Okay. So why couldn't he tell us?" Darcy asked.

"Because he's back in time. And he's with Loki."

Darcy nodded. "Met him once. Met his robot too but I was getting the animals out of the pet shop before they got killed." She blinked a few times. "Are they working together?"

"Maybe. They're not sure," Aria said. "But he's said to not be safe and he's not very injured, but he's really, really mad. Like was going to blow up Asgard his own self mad." Darcy winced. "So I'm guessing he wanted you out of harm's way."

"Yeah, he's super protective of the stomach of doom. Even held my hair a few times during morning sickness." The girls all nodded at that, smiling at each other. "Is he going to be okay?"

"No clue," Aria said. "He's fighting a few new gods though. Not the first time...."

Darcy sighed. "Okay. So I'll just worry a lot and give the baby anxiety." She blinked. "Can his cult help with that?"

"They can't get there," Debra said. "Or they would've already went to help him. Though they really want to train with him, not help him heal."

"No, I'm good with helping him heal. I've got handcuffs I had his name engraved on and everything," Darcy said dryly. The ladies giggled. "Because he won't take care of himself if I don't." She shrugged. "Shit." She considered it. "Can we get stuff to him? He has weapons in storage."

"No clue," Aria admitted. "If we could he might like it."

Darcy considered it, then walked outside. "Hey, Barbara?" she called loudly. "Do I need to invoke you?" A woman in demon face showed up. "Can you get stuff up to wherever Xander is fighting from his storage area? Maybe all compressed somehow? He's fighting a few gods."

She blinked. "I.... Well, we do owe him a favor."

Darcy squealed and hugged her. "Get stuff from Dawn? She'd know which storage area is best to go help him. I *know* about the vaults." The demon whined at that. "Yeah, so maybe?"

"Maybe," she admitted. "Let me go check on that. You, go sit down. The boy's going to be super fussy if you don't and you don't need the blood pressure spike." Darcy sighed but went back inside. She went to talk to D'Hoffryn, who agreed it'd be fine and talked to Dawn himself to see what he had that could help him. Because if not, reality could unravel a bit on the edges.

***

Dawn had all the vaults and a few extra things from her own stashes when she appeared next to where Xander was resting. "Howdy." She grinned at Loki. Who groaned. "It's the Xander Appreciation Society, I'm the head bitch in charge of artillery." She held up the bag she held. "It should still let us grab from the secondary vaults. Plus two I've got artifacts in if they'll help."

Loki moaned but took it to look at. It opened with her help and he walked in then whined. "How did you find that?" he demanded.

Dawn leaned in with a grin. "Why wouldn't I have found it, Loki? Do you know what I am?" She pulled back after grabbing something to pour over Xander, making him moan but wake up. "Elemental healing spell," she quipped when he looked at her.

"This thing will want to eat you," he complained.

She leaned down. "He won't get to. And I brought your two secondary vaults of artillery, your magical storage vault with the stuff you said to keep away from Darcy and Harley, and my own two storage vaults that I'll never admit to." She grinned then kissed him on the forehead. "If you die, you tell Mommy we said hi and I'm going to kick Buffy's ass next week for her."

"I'm not dying," he said, standing up. "I was just resting." He looked at his chest then at her. She held up the bottle. "Oh. That. Thanks for finding the Vial of Life I won at poker at the convention, Dawn."

"Welcome," she quipped. She waved a hand. "Your cult sends their regards."

"I love my cult. Though they're a bit weird I love those women." He walked in there to look. "Oh, that vault. Dawn, I need the one from Madagascar." She walked in and pointed at the link to the other vaults. He got what he needed from there while someone outside found the bag and closed it up to bring to their nemesis.

When they opened it their face got blown off by Dawn with artillery and then Xander walked out with the things he needed to solve this problem. Loki was trying to get away from a statue so Dawn had to save him and shove him out then come out to reseal the bag. She walked off humming to go gather some more artifacts and things to study later on. So many pretty things that called out to her magically.

"Dawn, don't touch that," Xander called suddenly. "It'll mate itself to you and it's a poor husband."

"Don't want a husband yet, Xander. So I'll give it to Buffy." She scooped it up with the box she had ready then sealed it in. By the time those two got done fighting she had disabled all the magical storage devices in the room and was working on the major crystal holding energy. She looked over at Loki then at the crystal. "Hmm. To break or not to break."

"No, don't break it," both guys yelled.

"Okay, I won't." She considered it then shrank it into another capturing box. The whole palace went dark and the beings they were fighting screamed in rage. She grinned and wiggled her fingers at them. "Howdy! How're you today?" They stomped towards her so she opened a portal casually and dropped that box through. To Wong. It hit him on the head then she sealed the portal again. He'd understand what it was, he had helped her build those boxes. Then she lit up some magic to fight back.

The demon queen came stomping in to scream at them. "What are you doing!"

"Aren't you dead?" Xander asked her.

"I am not! My husband is an idiot! I divorced him."

Dawn looked over from kicking that higher level demon in the face. Then summoned him. The kid showed up. The father followed though.

"Wasn't she dead?" Xander asked him with a point.

"She still is. She's reanimated, Xander."

Dawn got free and came over to cut her on the arm, watching it not bleed. "Yup, you are." The demon queen tried for her but Dawn lit up her true aura, staring at her. "Really?" Both higher level beings backed away slowly. The kid cuddled her with an adoring look.

"Hi, sweetie. We didn't mean to summon you so let's get you safe. Okay?" She reopened the portal and gave Wong a look before pushing the kid over. "Go watch over Wong for me please? Let your parents have a world ending fight." She closed the portal with a shrug and went back to them.

Xander looked at her. "Wong?"

"He's like you lite," she quipped. "He's so like a brother and specifically yours."

"Awww. Well, no, Darcy's dad only had the other two girls and me."

She pinched him on the arm. "I love yours sisters. They've been looking for you and went to Aria and Debra to find you. Then called me. Well, Vengeance demon Barbara called me."

"They did what?" Xander demanded.

"Harley got out and took Darcy with her since Darcy was going to go without her. But she knew it was dangerous."

"Aria wouldn't hurt her. Keep her maybe...."

"No but they ran into some of the 'don't realize you're siblings' group," Dawn said dryly. "And they wanted to have your son as their future heir."

"She taze 'em?" Xander guessed.

"Harley used a sword and then her hammer a few times. Darcy had stuff she and Jane built once. Then disarmed a few others."

"Awww. I'll talk to them when we get back. Even if that might be in a few hundred years."

"Don't be silly, Xander. What sort of rescue would that be? I've got a time spot set up," Dawn quipped.

"I don't want to have to tell your sister."

"So don't." She shrugged but smiled. "I'm not!" She grinned at the staring gods. "What?"

"What are you?" the female asked.

"Dawn Summers." She bowed. "Little sister to Buffy. Artifact researcher. Key." She shrugged but looked smug. "Little kinda-sister to Xander." Xander nodded at that, leaning on his sword. "Why do you ask?"

"You're glowing weirdly, dear."

"Yes, I am. It's what made me." She opened it and ended the whole problem going on by taking out that higher demon in stasis that had infected others. "There! That's nicer, isn't it?" Loki hurried over to her and Xander knocked out the husband since he was back to grieving. He got thrown into the vault for now. Though Xander had to go in to free him from the same thing that had tried to gather Loki. Then he came out to gather together their stuff and head back with Loki leading the way.

Dawn looked around as she muted herself again. "We're six months before the last time you were up here, Xander." She frowned. "And it's before the convergence." He flinched, looking at her then at Loki. Who ran off to go find his mother. Xander looked at Dawn then followed.

Dawn settled down beside the tree she was leaning against, waiting on someone to find her. Heimdall walked past to stare at her. She grinned and waved. "Hey, Heimdall!"

"What did you do?"

"Fixed the Sporknok paradox?" She smiled. "We're back too far. I misset my time spot."

"It may still happen. They could stop Loki."

"And Xander?"

"Point." He helped her up and led her to his tower to let her go back to earth in the right time. She appeared in the tower so she could explain herself to Jane and others. He went to find Loki and Xander.

"They're going to kill Frigga," Loki yelled, struggling against the guards.

"Yes, they are," Xander agreed, pointing at one. "Him and his partner are both infected. You can have a healer prove it." The guard roared and broke out in his berserker skills against him. Xander shot him in the face then got out of the way. Sure, he had used a higher weapon instead of a gun but.... less mess really. It sealed the hole it made.

The other guard he pointed at was trying to escape but they gathered him to check. Odin stomped in with his sword but Xander just shrugged. "We had a temporal event. Sorry to cause the stress but Loki didn't want to lose his mother this time. The world missed her."

Frigga stomped in. "I could still die. Or have to die to keep things the same."

"Or not," Xander quipped. "Since you have time to prepare you can ascend instead."

She blinked. "I...oh, that's true. I can do that. I've nearly done so." She looked at Loki, then glared at the guards. "Ours is still in the jail. Let him be!" They let him go and stepped back. "Xander," she said.

"Dawn misset her time stop."

"Dawn. That charming young witch?"

"Yup."

"Why did she do that?"

"Because without you magic was starting to fail in some areas," he said dryly. "Which was leading her to stress and people looking at her magic to take its place. Which meant she was less safe. Therefore you can't die." He grinned sweetly. "We'll make sure of it, Frigga."

She blinked at him then nodded. "I can see thus starting," she admitted. "Heimdall?" He came in with the views from what he had seen. She looked then groaned. "Oh, blast! Fuck!" she muttered as she stomped off. "I shall ascend!"

"Okay. Dawn would say thanks," he called after her with a wave and a smile. He looked at Odin, who was staring in horrified awe at his wife's back. "She is a warrior in her own right," Xander quipped. "Of course she knows those words. She just didn't want to use them. Unlike me and Dawn." He grinned when Odin glared at him.

"What? Wanted to lose her, go to hell, have Asgard fall to your first daughter....then Thanos coming to earth? We're all about stopping the purple turd. And your daughter. Gotta say, almost became your son-in-law and you were the real reason I didn't." He walked off with Heimdall. "Getting us home?"

"Yes," he said. "Before you cause more strife."

Xander grinned at him. "I know a Xander who knows him. He said he's a really neat guy."

"Yes, he used to be. A version of you being his high priest is most amusing."

"Yeah, he is. Though his hormones aren't that great to him."

Heimdall just nodded. "Your sister's pregnancy is safe and she's nicely being safe with Aria and her minions."

"Awwww. I get to yell at Darcy for that."

"You went missing without word and worried her. You know Lady Darcy worries."

"Yeah, she does." He sighed but nodded. "That poor kid. I'm gonna have to make her relax about him playing with weapons." Heimdall stopped to laugh at that. He grinned. "Of course I'll teach my nephew about weapons! And if that vision was a true one, she can calm me down before I have to teach him how to disarm bombs."

Heimdall straightened up to stare at him. "It will. It was. They work to avoid it but...." He shrugged. "You'll manage."

"I hate that."

"It happens to mortals."

"Am I really though?" he asked with a grin.

Heimdall stared at him. "Mostly. The things you've run into.... Mostly." He got him back to the tower and then changed his mind and put him in front of Flagg's team. With the stuff Dawn had brought with her.

That Loki came out pushing back his bangs. "Dawn?"

"Home."

"Xander?"

"Gathering his sisters."

Loki sighed. "Such chaotic beings."

"Thankfully you're only mildly attracted to them," Heimdall told him. "Ready to go see the Sorcerer to explain that?"

"Has he gotten his son back yet?"

"On his way there if he can get off that realm. You can take him to the temple. His high priestess is worried sick. She's much like Jane with Darcy's nerves."

"I suppose I can," he sighed. "Though Dawn should have to."

"Dawn would but if she steps foot in there they'll declare it her temple instead. She doesn't want that."

"Point. It's thrilling but bothersome." He got sent to the Sorcerer Supreme's demesne, nodding at him and the kid. He looked at Wong. "His father returns, slowly. The problem we were stopping bothered his parents."

"I saw that." Wong stared at him. "What were you doing?"

"Helping Xander fight. He called in the poker debt he owed," he said dryly. "His father's high priestess waits on him. I can bring him home. Do not open that box."

"I know why. I almost did and got a tan," Wong complained.

Loki shrugged. "We did not summon Dawn. Dawn showed up to help thanks to Darcy telling her. Well, she said a vengeance demon got told by Darcy and asked to bring us things so she brought Dawn as well."

Wong nodded. "Such things happen around Dawn," he agreed. He cleared his throat. "Is she well?"

"Probably exhausted. She did have to use magic to put that into a box." He picked up the child. "We will get you home."

"Who're you?" he asked.

He smirked. "I'm Loki."

The kid grinned. "Daddy read to us about you." Loki nodded and took him home to his home temple, letting him run off. The priestess came out to stare at him, weapon in hand. "His father is still trapped where we solved the one that took his mother," he said quietly. "But he'll get himself free soon enough. Dawn did not mean to summon him, just his father as his mother was there but animated by someone else."

"Oh." She bowed to him. "Thank you, Lord Loki."

"Welcome. Him and his psychic twin are both amusing. He spent a bit with the Sorcerer Supreme and his Wong."

"We know of Wong. He is most good." She went to corral the kid and talk to him so he'd forget what happened. Loki went to his new hiding spot and relaxed again. Plus treat the energy burns on his arms and back.

***

Xander looked at the guys he landed in front of, nodding at them. "Hey, guys. Let me go get my sisters from my ex."

Flagg grinned as he stepped forward. "How did you just appear?"

"Heimdall's really nice." He grinned. "I was fighting a huge universe ending problem. Which worried Darcy so she called Harley probably and called Aria apparently."

"Ah." He nodded. "We wondered how that had happened."

"Yeah but I can't let you guys hurt Aria or the others."

"Someone went out there last night that's against her," Flagg said.

"Who?" He looked at one guy. "Your rival?"

"No. Hers. Michalea."

"Oh, it. Yeah, let me go talk to it." He walked around them and found the right boat, and the girl sobbing on it. "Let's go save the sisters and the girls," he said as he stepped onto it.

She flinched, staring at him. "Xander!" She hugged him, babbling at him.

"I know. Let's go before Darcy has to take a life. I want her to remain innocent."

She nodded, undoing the boat's ropes. The other guys hopped on to help and be taken out there. "I should not bring you. Men are not allowed."

"They're Harley's team, Princess," Xander said.

"Oh. We heard. She told us." She nodded at them, taking the boat back to their island school and home.

Xander walked onto the ground and it shook. "Yeah, bite me," he called. It quit. "Let me go save the sisters." He limped off, shaking his head at the scared looks. "I had to save the universe."

Michalea came to the gates herself. "Xander!" she said happily, moving to hug him. He punched her in the face then threw her out of his way. "Hey! I did not hurt your sisters! Darcy's even sprouted so we taught her how to soothe the cramping." She got up to follow him. "I would never harm your sister, Xander. We know you're highly protective of her."

"Yes I am. Darcy should never be in danger from what I do for a living." He gave her a pointed look. "And the baby's a future Baron."

"Awwww! We heard." She smiled at him. "You could stay with us."

"I doubt that. Darcy's going to be nagging me for weeks about healing the injuries I got fighting universal gods." She slumped, staring at him. He nodded. "Yeah! That's where I was. With Dawn and Loki."

"Oh!" She stared at him. "Dawn's that tough?"

"It took magic. She's the heir to my vaults with my sister."

"Oh, that makes more sense. We'll leave her be. But you're going to come with us."

"I don't think so," Flagg told her, making her spin to stare at him. Then she burst out laughing so he shot her in the throat. "Boys, tie her up in the boat. We'll see if she wants to be one of you later on, when she's learned her place in the world." They did that for him and he followed Xander. "Are you that hurt?"

"Yeah, I kinda am. I'm still a mostly normal guy. Fighting higher beings often lead to injuries. Even with weapons. Or mystical artifacts." He picked up one as he walked past it then threw it into a tree, making it squeak but shut up. "No trying to possess me this time either. Thank you!" He walked into the house, making Darcy squeal as she ran over to hug him. "Hey, Sis." He cuddled her. "Ow!" She poked him again. "I was saving the universe."

"Send a note," she ordered.

"Yes, dear."

"Thank you! I worried about you. It nearly brought back morning sickness!" She cuddled him. "Are you okay? Just sore?"

"Pretty sore. Few cuts. Energy whip burns. Headache. Hungry.... The usual after a huge thing. But we did save Lady Frigga as well thanks to Dawn's misset time stop. Which means no one's going to go after Dawn for her magic now. Even if some wanted her to take over Frigga's spot by marrying Odin. Gross."

"Very," she agreed with a sigh, looking at him. "Are you okay though?"

"I'm fine, Darcy. I promise I'm fine." A woman walked past to kiss him on the cheek. "Thanks. Mickey's in the boat. Tied up. Flagg's guys got her."

"Awww. You brought us playmates!" She looked Flagg over. "He can probably spar."

"Yes I can and I'm only here to recapture the teammate that escaped jail," he said with a smile. "Frankly, you women scare me." She giggled and gassed most of the group, but Xander walked Darcy off to keep her safe.

Aria hugged him and got Darcy to her office then took Xander to be treated for her. Darcy didn't want to see those injuries yet. And it was very nice of Xander to send them new toys. Harley could ask for them to spare a few if she wanted. She was good and clearly could be one of them if she wanted to switch methods.

***

Jane walked out to talk to the team. She looked at the ones eating then at Stark. "Aria has Darcy, Harley, Xander, Harley's teammates, and a few bad girls beyond the norm. They're helping Xander heal from saving the universe from some sort of universal god being that was possessed and a problem." Stark's fork dropped onto the table as he moaned and rubbed his face.

"But they don't allow men on the island and Harley's team is all guys. Looking at the satellite feeds with Bruce just now, they're being treated like sparring partners and one was dragged off when he lost by one of the girls. Not sure if they're going to torture them or just use them sexually or what. Darcy was clearly inside and I didn't see Xander but I know he was down there. Darcy said so."

Natasha ate another bite then wiped her mouth. "I'll go talk to Aria, shall I?"

"Can you please?" Jane asked her with a smile. "I don't want Darcy to deliver down there. She's got an OB appointment in a few days."

"I can," she promised. "Move her appointment back by at least a week though." She finished her water before getting up to change clothes.

"How did that start?" Stark asked, staring at her.

"Apparently Xander had to go stop some being that was animated, according to what Dawn said in her email." She handed it to him to read. "So he and Loki saved the universe with Dawn showing up with some of Xander's vaults to help. Then she got them sent back to Asgard, which was a bit earlier than now so Thor's mother just ascended instead of dying." Thor moaned at that, sipping his water. "Some people were looking at Dawn to take her place as your stepmom, Thor. Her answer to that was a bit loud."

"Aye, she would not put up with my father for long." He took another drink. He knew not to be eating.

"How did Darcy get down there?" Stark asked, handing the email to Pepper.

"She was calling around to try to find her brother. Got Harley to come help her get down to Aria's island of girls since she might know some about his cult. Which has been getting to Harley's team's missions before they have been apparently. So she had to ask about them too.

"Darcy said that one of them showed up to help her stay calm and explained they weren't a *cult* but they did look up to Xander and his ways as being the best way to help the slayers and others. They apparently trained with him at least a few times down there too."

"He's got a cult," Stark said flatly, staring at her. Jane nodded with a grin. "Uh-huh."

"You have one at MIT," Jane reminded him. "They happen. We do things to look up to for, Stark."

"Point, though I ignore it," Stark said blandly. "So he's down there sparring?"

"Injured. Darcy's fussing at him with Harley helping her teammates get away from the girls."

"Ah." He nodded. "Isn't that team full of criminals?"

"Isn't Aria one too?" she countered.

"Point," he sighed with a nod. "I'll see if I can let one of their own kind know so they can go gather them for Natasha." She walked past the table with a nod, taking a biscuit to nibble on her way to the garage.

Stark looked at Pepper, who just put the email down. "It seems like he's in good, safe hands, but Harley's teammates may not be as safe."

"Probably," Jane agreed. "They're probably able to handle it though."

"Probably," Stark agreed then sighed again, picking up his fork. "Any other good news?"

"Loki was really a lot of help and Dawn said that Xander used his owed poker debt to get his help. She denatured the power source they were using and the being that was possessing others was taken out by weapons."

"Ah," Stark said, then stuffed his mouth.

"It's good my brother helped," Thor decided, then burped and drank some more. "I'm sure our mother was thrilled." He dug into his dinner again with a head shake. That whole topic had many things he did not want to talk or think about. Perhaps he was being wrong minded but his mother had not shown up to nag him about it yet so he was probably safe to ignore it.

Jane went back to the lab to tell Darcy's OB about her being out of town at the moment. The office moved the appointment back for her. Jane sent Darcy a note about that being moved for her.

***

Natasha stepped off the boat she had rented, nodding at the woman standing guard. "I came to get Darcy for Jane," she said blandly.

The guard called that in. "She's resting in the garden right now, Black Widow. She's starting in the napping phase." She grinned. "Xander's out of the infirmary. The guys are over thinking that women are just pretty."

"Many men make that mistake. It lets me do my job easier," she admitted.

"Us too," she agreed, letting her in the door. "Aria's in the office. Go inside and to the left of the sitting area please."

"Thank you." She walked in and nodded at the women sparring against the 'heros' in the practice yard. She walked inside, nodding politely at Aria. "Xander's better?"

"Much. We even made him quit fussing at Darcy so she could fuss at him." She smiled. "He'll be fine."

"That's good. Jane has requested I bring Darcy home so she can fuss at her stomach herself."

"Of course she wanted her there. Darcy is quite the mothering figure. Even mothered some of my girls. We need one like her." She stared at her. "We have met another trained like you." Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Yelena."

"I know of her," she agreed. "Is she well?"

"Now. She got free, as you did." Natasha relaxed a tiny bit, nodding at that, looking happier. "She's fine and fussing at Darcy for fussing at her brother. Harley's quite amused but we're not letting her rescue her teammates."

"I was asked by the Pentagon if we could so they could return to missions. May I relieve your island of your girls' playmates?"

"Many are going to pout. They never get to have the good fun as they're not trained enough yet."

Natasha tipped her head then smiled a bit. "Send them at SHIELD?"

"They'd kill my girls."

"They would try to recruit."

"True." She considered it. "A few may fit in well there but I'd hate to let them sacrifice themselves to that group."

"Me as well but it would let them have more time being sultry as they no longer have me."

"That's a great point. I'll see if a few of my girls who can only do that want to move to that agency." Darcy wandered in and hugged Natasha from the side, yawning against her arm. "You're fine, Darcy."

"I know but Natasha makes great tea." She grinned at her. "Xander had to take out a universal overlord sort of being who was taking out lesser god-like beings from here and other realms to try to gain control in case the purple turd shows up."

Natasha got free and put her into a chair. "What now?" Darcy handed over the notes from her phone with a grin. She read them and moaned loudly. "Well."

Darcy nodded. "I can't be mad at him for that. I can be mad he didn't leave a note, but I can't be mad about him saving us all with Loki's help."

"Yes, I can see that. We'll check on him and Dawn later, Darcy. Are you well?"

"I feel super spoiled. The girls let me make dinners and they don't mind me fussing over them not eating enough." She grinned. "It's like a lot of less sciency Janes who need a big sister."

"We could use a house mother," Aria told her. Darcy squealed and wrote down a few names. "I'll look into them. A few I know are in my sort of life."

"That's why I suggested them," Darcy said with a grin. "Are you done jumping on Xander?"

"I can be. I'm starting to get attached and that's a dangerous thing. So are the girls."

Darcy nodded. "Some of those guys are hot and tough, a good match to the girls. But they probably have to go back to work too. Your girls were great at training them in new skills though."

"They were. The men were...weaker until we worked on their stamina issues." She smiled. "It was good for the girls to see that they're supposed to be better and why. I can let Natasha save you all from the girls pouting." Darcy got up to hug her. "You be safe. I've got to work those cookies off the girls."

Darcy pulled back to look at her. "You can't just work, Aria, or life has little meaning. Sometimes you gotta have a cookie time and sit down to do something mind clearing."

"True. Though the girls have binged on the cookies and didn't leave me any."

Darcy grinned. "I left five dozen of each type in the big walk in freezer behind the pot roasts. All but the peanut butter since that one girl was allergic. It's back there with the hidden pint of Ben and Jerry's."

She smiled. "I'll hand them out when the girls need a day off. Thank you, Darcy."

"You're welcome! Let me go nag my brother!" She bounced off.

Natasha watched her go then looked at Aria. "I too binge on her cookies. She is excellent at making them. Made me some for my birthday. I gained five pounds."

"So have some of mine." They shared a look. Natasha went to gather Darcy and Harley. Harley was defending Flagg from a few of the girls by kicking their butts. Aria followed to watch what happened.

Natasha nodded. "Kick her ankle. She's weak there, Harleen." She did that and the girl squeaked but danced out of the way and fell to a punch in the face. "We should spar sometime." She looked at the heros, who looked a bit exhausted. Then at the girls. "Come, I will spar for their freedom. As Darcy has to go see her OB next week and Jane is worrying enough to apply science to things again." Two of the girls pounced her but she managed to get free.

"Can we still keep Xander?" one younger one asked.

"No. There's no getting attached to people," Aria reminded her. "He's easy to become attached to. He needs to go fuss at his sister before I have to host a wedding." They pouted but nodded. Natasha did win against the two girls and one of their trainers, who was one of the original girls. She barely won against her but did manage it, getting a grin and a smirk back for it. They bowed to each other.

"Let me get my bag," Darcy said, hurrying off.

"Don't you dare run, you'll give the baby a concussion!" Harley called after her. "And grab the baby brother!" She smiled at Natasha. "If you'd like to join our team of misfit toys someday you're welcome to. I'm sure Flagg would agree."

"Flagg does agree," he agreed happily. "Thank you, Agent Romanoff." He bowed to her. She bowed back properly. Darcy came back with her backpack and two other bags, handing Harley one. They left together, Natasha making sure they all got on the boat she had rented.

"They're very well trained," Natasha said.

"If they get arrested I'm going to move them to train our teams," he agreed, looking at the guys, who all glared at him. He looked at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome but I really came to save Darcy for Jane." She looked at him. Then smirked a bit. "Did we learn any about the cult to Xander?"

"Yup," Harley quipped from her seat. "I sure did and they're neat. I could so join that group." Darcy hugged her. "You're sweet."

"I try." She grinned. "And sometimes I'm not so sweet. That's why I sent Flagg to bed last night when he tried to stay up." Rick glared at her. She just grinned. "You needed to rest."

"Yeah, I did. Unfortunately I didn't do much of it."

She shrugged but smiled. "It'll let you have some frustration to take out on your next mission, dear. Don't make me give you ex-lax cookies again. I make those for Clint when he's had too many pizzas with extra cheese."

"No, that's quite all right," he promised. Natasha was snickering so hard he had to take over driving the boat. "Just the mainland?"

"We can drop it at the port there," she said with a point. He nodded, driving them that way.

Harley looked at Natasha once Darcy was busy fussing at the teammates who had injuries. "She can be really sneaky and kinda evil," she said quietly.

"Yes, she can be. We all believe her to be sweet but she is not always. She's a strong woman who knows her own mind. And has tazed Thor."

Harley nodded. "I can see that. I'm still gonna protect her from all this stuff."

"Please do. We all do. She's normal."

"True, she is. And she's gotta be a mom." They shared a look. Natasha smiled a bit. "She said I have to hold the baby when it's born. So I guess I gotta show up for the delivery." She looked at Darcy. "Are you going to go all natural and not have drugs?"

"Nope. I like me some light drugs. That shit hurts. Pushing something the size of a watermelon out of a grapefruit hurts like hell from what I've seen of the videos online. I want some drugs. Thanks."

Xander nodded. "I want you to have as many drugs as you want so I don't have to watch you in labor, Sis."

She punched him on the arm, making him wince. "You'll be guarding the ward anyway. I know you would."

"If I can. Harley and I can do that then come in when he's born and a bit less slimy."

"Fine. Jane can hold my hand through it. Or maybe Clint. Jane would hit a nurse if something went wrong. Clint would probably be calmer."

"Not really," Natasha told her. "He wouldn't panic but he'd hate to see you in such pain, Darcy. He wouldn't handle a medical emergency well either. Are you delivering in the tower?"

"They told me they don't have anything for OB stuff. I've got the whole birth plan stuff written out in my desk in the lab, Natasha."

"Then we'll work out who can go in with you if we're on a mission." She nodded at that, looking happier. "Are you men all right?"

"They're clearly modern amazons," one complained, looking down. "I beat them though."

"Good for you," Natasha said happily.

"We're going to do more training once we're all calmed down at the prison," Flagg ordered, moving the boat closer to the pier. "We all need it if teenage girls could beat us."

"Some of us were fantastic," Natasha reminded him dryly.

"They hadn't trained from birth like you were forced to," he said quietly.

"Point." She tied off the boat. "I believe we're here. Let me go turn in the boat's keys." She heard a voice and grimaced. "Oh, he's here. Why?"

Xander looked. "I have something to shove up his ass and set off," Xander offered.

Natasha smiled at him. "We rather expect you to always have something, Xander." She hopped out and held out a hand. Darcy got helped out and Harley followed with Xander. Then the rest of the people.

Thunderbolt Ross stomped over. "Why are you down here?" he demanded.

"I came to get help since my brother disappeared," Darcy told him. "I brought my other half-sister with me as it's not safe for me to travel alone. Too many of my brother's friends still think we're fucking." Ross flinched, staring at her. She stared back.

"What? I had to find him! He disappeared! Was off doing heroic things that saved the universe! Now, do you mind? I've gotta pee. The baby insists." He didn't move so she pushed him out of her way. The military guys with him tried to stop her but she zapped one and the rest moved. "Thank you! The baby's sitting on my bladder already." She went in to pee.

Natasha smiled at Harley. "At least she is very good with the weapons she can use."

"She is! I'm not that great with a tazer yet. I really should learn." Her team got off the boat. Flagg took the keys to turn in then came back to escort his band of merry homicidal misfits to find them a way home. Harley used the stun gas she had gotten off Aria to get Ross's people and they stole their plane. Natasha, Darcy, and Xander could get back from Louisiana.

***

Flagg looked at his people once they had cleared the infirmary and were back in the general population areas. "Are we all better now?"

"Yeah," one quipped. "A lot. If they get arrested we'll gladly let them on missions with us. Though you probably won't allow sparring for stress relief."

"Probably not," he agreed. "Especially with how badly you lost yours."

He grinned. "Why would I fight with a pretty girl who wanted some of me? I'm not mean to them." He went to his cell happier. The other guys nodded at that. Harley was giggling as she was led off.

Flagg shook his head but went to make a report. The military plane was left on a former base in New Jersey by Natasha. He had to make a report to the Pentagon about all that. They were not amused about Aria but agreed if she got arrested they could let her join the Squad somehow. Her people were well trained. They had gotten most of Ross's soldiers but had left him tied up naked in a toilet in a bar.

***

Darcy hugged Jane when she walked into the lab. "I'm back!"

"I can see you and Xander both are back." She looked her over. "Are you okay?"

"Aria was great and I learned a lot of things about Xander that I hadn't known." She looked at her brother then at Jane. "He's all better from saving the universe. The slayers heard and tried to threaten him but oh well. I told them off. Someone tried to magic the island so I used his poker buddies to go tell the witch to fuck herself." She settled down with a sigh. "I need to get one of those ring pillows."

She looked at Xander, who was sitting down to pet Bob. "Hey, Bob." She smiled as she petted him too. "Such a good boy to guard the Jane while I was gone." She got into her computer then pulled out her notes. "Okay, because the question has come up. This is the birthing plan. Jane, you can help but no punching the nurses. I'm pretty sure Xander will be guarding instead of wanting to be in there."

"Xander's actually delivered one," he quipped, petting Bob the Torchit. "But yeah."

"That's fine," Darcy said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. She let Jane see them. "You're still my medical power of attorney."

"That's fine. Will the hospital recognize that?"

"We have the paperwork on file with my birth registration." That got a nod and Jane made her own notes about it. Xander looked it over and nodded, taking it and Bob upstairs to hand that to the others. Darcy and Jane shared a grin.

Xander handed the plan to Natasha. "The plan. Jane has MPA paperwork for her. It's on file with the birth registration."

"That's good." She read it over, nodding. "That's a good plan, has some alternate things in case of emergencies. Good idea." She handed them to Clint, who read them over looking confused. "She has said that you're an ideal hand holder during it as you won't panic or hit a nurse like Jane would."

Clint looked at her, handing the forms on. "I do not want to see the miracle of birth unless it's my kid."

"I'll be guarding the ward," Xander said. "Harley too probably."

Clint looked at him. "Not my kid," he quipped again with a grin.

"That's fine. Just plan on being the driver then."

"That I can do. Maybe early in the labor process but not for the main event."

"She's right, she would need someone level headed and who can handle it if medical problems arise," Natasha said.

Stark looked over at them, taking the notes to look over. "We have an infirmary."

"They have nothing for OB situation according to them and what they told Darcy."

"Oh, that'll change," Stark said dryly. "That way she's safer." He looked at Xander. "Are you better?"

"Now. Darcy fussed greatly. Even borrowed some new handcuffs. Plus made a lot of cookies for Aria's girls."

"Yeah, she likes to bake," Stark agreed, handing the notes on to Pepper. Bruce probably wouldn't need to know. He wasn't the sort to help a friend in labor.

"She won't really know who's in there," Steve said. "She'll be in the drug haze."

"Not any more," Natasha said. "They stopped that in the seventies. These days, women are lucky to get any drugs at all for pain control and some don't even want them. Darcy has chosen to have a light IV version given instead of the spinal epidural."

Steve looked confused. "But.... The twilight...."

Natasha shook her head. "No longer. These days you're aware and awake. You may not feel all of it but you feel a good bit even with the pain killers. You're able to answer questions. You only go in once you're five minutes apart and many women can go home that same day."

Steve grimaced. "That seems wrong and bad for the women."

She nodded. "It can be. She'll at least get to come home to rest and let her brother and Jane fuss at her." She looked at Xander. "Did the girls not pounce you like they did the others?"

"They tried but I know to win the matches. The other guys were just being nice guys." He shrugged. "They've been in jail for a long time."

"Point. I'm sure the girls were happier with that anyway."

"Probably. At least I disabled the gas canisters around most of the island. She realized it too. I really should let Darcy hand Harley some of that sex gas of hers. The prison would love it."

"Please don't," Natasha ordered. He just grinned. "Use it somewhere more distracting than that prison."

"Point." He walked off with the notes. Bob flew outside to get some sun so Xander went with him for now. That way he didn't get picked on by the pigeons again. New York pigeons were aggressive.

***

Wong carefully peeked into the box that held the power center then closed it quickly so he could put it into a closet. It was asking to be let out, it was probably evil. It felt evil. It could stay in that closet for eternity, or until they had to release it on a bigger problem to the world. He made notes on the index to show what was in there and put the index book back in the office. Then he went to do a cleansing rite because he could feel it trying to taint him.

He almost felt like Dawn so he knew it was something he didn't need to become.

***

Dawn looked up from taking notes on a new artifact to find a glowing woman standing there. "Feeling better, Lady Frigga?"

"Much, Dawn." She stared at her. "It was risky."

"Yes but necessary. Without it, magic would've collapsed." She shrugged. "I sure didn't want to take your place, no matter who suggested it. Though most just think I'm a pretty witch who can be easily conquered by your husband or son."

"No, I can see why you're not." Dawn grinned, going back to her work. "Things are still going to happen."

"Xander put most of the purple one in a capturing vase. The Sorcerer Supreme has it stuffed somewhere." Frigga sighed in pleasure. "Your daughter was defeated."

"I saw that, child." She stared at her. "How can we handle the rest that may show up to see about that power?"

"It's in an eternal closet." She straightened up. "I felt Wong put it in there earlier. It's safe unless Stephen gets attacked."

"True. But he could be."

"Yes and he'd probably use it against whoever was doing that."

"That's tactical." She stared at her. "It won't solve all the problem."

"No, there's still the vision that Willow's going to save all the slayers by moving them from the realm for good." Frigga nodded she had seen that. "If so, I'll be without any family but those of us still here will manage."

"You were seen going."

"No, I wouldn't. Willow would have to contain my power to do the rite. Xander's vision showed me in compulsion cuffs." Frigga winced. "And I won't allow it. She'll try and she'll lose. I've already used a poker debt to go around that one."

"If you're under compulsion it won't let you call out."

"It's an automatic one if I'm ever under compulsion thanks to the Coven or Willow."

"Oh." She nodded. "You have learned some tactical thought."

"I had to. It's what I grew up in, Lady Frigga. I did grow up the sister of a slayer." She walked around the shielded area. "If you want to take on Willow and the Coven, have fun. I don't go near either of those categories of beings."

"I may go talk to the Coven." She stared at Dawn. "You would do Thor good."

"I'd make a man out of him," she agreed. "Straighten his sloppy ass up. No more frat boy behavior. But I don't like Thor that much. He's nice enough but too dependent on things instead of people."

"Hmm. I can see that point. Still, you would do good."

She smiled. "If he's a man he's old enough to try to court me if he wishes. Then we'd see where it went. Frankly I'd probably remind him of his brother."

"True. You do me as well sometimes, Dawn." Dawn just smirked at that. "You did out yourself."

"Others have known. Hell, I had to keep reminding people to use my name instead of my title."

"I had not known that." Dawn nodded with a grin. "Oh." She sighed. "Still, they could come."

"They always try to come. They have since I was made at fourteen, Lady Frigga. There's always another one out there trying to gain control of me, use me, get me on their side, whatever. It hasn't worked yet. Someday I'll find a true mate. Until then they're not getting more than easy sex I'd give to a bar pickup."

"That is the way of many warriors. For all that you choose to be on the sides of the battles you are still one." She faded out. The girl was an enigma but strong. She'd do fine when the time came for it. Because she was right, there was always another battle on the horizon. Even if they weren't purple or blue or any other interesting color.

Dawn got back to her examination of the vault holding some of Apokalypse's powers. It was a good attempt but not good enough. She'd have to make sure it was made stronger when the time came. And not date Thor. Because he was not her type.

***

Four months later, Dawn showed up in a floating prison, smiling at the man on the bunk. He looked rougher than usual. She leaned down to wake him up, making him snap awake. "Hey." She grinned again. "I'm Dawn."

"I've seen your profile," he said, blinking at her. "Is there a huge problem?" She created a small mirror to hand over, letting him see it. He sucked in a breath then looked at her. "Oh." He stared at it again, touching the picture with a finger. "They'll want to confiscate it."

"Of course they would but only you can turn that on and off. Only your touch or my touch will make it become tangible. You could leave it running all the time so they could view it, but you don't have to." He looked at her. "Hey, I'm amazing and magical."

She shrugged but smiled. "Philippe is fine. He's healthy. He's fussy sometimes but he's healthy and chubby and cute. Even Bob likes him a lot. It likes to sit on the edge of his cradle to watch him sleep. Nearly burned Thor sneaking in to change him one night." He smiled a bit, nodding.

"The birth went a bit weird, it was during a problem so Darcy had to deliver in the tower without the infirmary having any ideas about how to do that apparently but they managed it. Harley even got to hold him for a few seconds after the birth.

"Then her people dragged her off to handle the problem going on in the rest of New York with the Avengers and others. She came back later to coo over him. He didn't like her handcuffs but that's life sometimes ya know. He got used to the weird aunty and the weird uncle that made him pee everywhere twice now."

"I can see that." He smiled at her. "Thank you. It's a great gift."

"You're welcome. You had the right and the reason to know. He's partially yours. He even scowls like your official picture according to Xander." She winked and left. "Think it off and on."

He laid back down, watching the baby sleep for now with Bob the Torchit standing guard over him. It was weird that his son had a pokemon but amusing. Darcy was very amusing in so many weird ways. She was also full of life, even stumbling asleep so he got to watch her feeding his son for a bit too. He finally thought it off and tucked it under his pillow so he could guard it while he slept. Though the guard that came in to snatch it from him couldn't touch it so it was safely just his. An outside link he needed to keep himself sane in here.

The End. Maybe. Not sure yet.
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