Ancestry 31 - Using Things The Wrong Way.
Hermione looked at the members of DA, who all looked nervous. "We're expecting two assaults again."
"Where's Harry?" Neville asked.
"Infirmary. That little Hufflepuff girl that tripped him earlier broke his nose." Neville rolled his eyes. "She had to pull it back together. He'll be here in about an hour probably." That got a mass nod. "But we think he'll try here, maybe not first, but to draw us away from the battle. Harry said he's only going to be there unless they have to chase Voldemort down because he didn't show up."
Neville nodded. "I'm going to be here," he decided. Hermione smiled and nodded. "Would that be okay?"
"Yes, Neville. It's fine if you want to take over guarding the school. I doubt Ron'll be here. I'll be behind Harry too."
"Okay then I'll guard here." Harry walked in but something was wrong. "That's not Harry."
Hermione looked then nodded. "That's Tonks. He's in the infirmary, Tonks."
"I know. I checked first. So what's going on?" She changed back slowly, grinning at the kids. "So we can help?"
"Please do," Hermione agreed happily. "We're expecting dual assaults." She handed over the notes. "Ron's notes."
"Agreed." She looked them over. "We'll layer some aurors in town, some up here, and let the teachers handle some of it. We'll have a few who'll come to the other battle site too." She handed them off to the others so they could read them over. "Ron?"
"Detention," a few reported.
"He pasted the Hufflepuff kid who tripped Harry on the stairs," Hermione said.
"Ah." She nodded. "Great." She looked back as Ron and Harry came in together. She stared. "Ron, you've changed!"
"Oh, shut up," Bill muttered. "You're loud, Nymphadora." She glared. He smirked. "Ron'll be here soon, kids."
Hermione looked then stunned him. "Well, that's cute. Glamour or polyjuice?"
"Polyjuice," Neville said, coming over to check him. "Yup, flask." He held it up after sniffing it.
"We'll keep it," Hermione decided. "It could come in handy." That got a nod and Neville hid it in the safe back there that the teacher let them use. "Anyone got any guesses?"
Tonks shrugged. "We'll find out." Harry was shaking his head with a sigh. "You good, mate?"
"I'm fine. Nose is healed. Headache is still going. I'm still blowing out blood clots now and then." He came over to look at the notes. "Okay, so here, there, if he refuses to show up we follow to jump him there." Hermione nodded at that, getting out of his spot. He looked at them. "It's up to you guys which area you guard in. We know they'll try to take the school. It'll divert attention from our battle. It'll piss people off."
"The kids'll be going home for break," Tonks said. "We can arrange that if the headmaster hasn't." She looked at the kids. "Neville said he wants here."
"Great," Harry agreed, smiling at him. "He can work with the herbology things that were set up?"
"Of course," Neville agreed. "I helped put most of them in."
"Even better. What's out there?" Tonks asked.
He grinned. "We got help from some former students. Including Blair Sandburg, who tells some great stories."
"Oh, dear."
"We heard about the unicorn," Harry said, smiling at her.
She just nodded. "I heard. I was a first year and it happened while I was in class."
Ron came in shaking his head. "The teachers are nuttier than usual today. Said I should've been nicer to her because she's mourning her crush on Harry."
Harry snorted. "I don't care. Be mean to them if you need to so I don't have to run and hide again." Bill walked in and stared at the guy who was supposed to be him. "Hey, Bill." He checked him. "Which you're not. Bill's marked as a cursebreaker and has shields I envy." The man flinched, staring at him. Harry tapped the Dumass heir necklace. The man backed out slowly and got hit by the real Bill behind him. "Yeah, he's got the right shields." He nodded a bit, looking at Ron.
"Sounds like him too. He's trying not to swear." He grinned and waved. "Polyjuice?" he asked Hermione, who nodded. "Confiscate any flasks you find, Bill. We can probably use it later. We have a safe over there." He pointed. Bill did knock the guy out and frisked him, putting the wand and all other devices in there. Then he frisked Nymphadora, making her giggle and swat at him. "She her?"
"Seems to be. She did that same giggle when we dated for a few weeks." He handed her back her wand. "So what's going on?"
"Setting placements," Hermione said, handing them the notes. They went over it.
"I'm handling here," Neville said.
"Okay," Bill agreed with a nod. "If you want, Neville." He went back to it, grimacing. "Extra herbology?" he read.
"They had some people who learned a lot of semi-evil herbology skills in school," Tonks quipped.
"Oooh. But it'll help." He handed the notes back. "How can I help?"
"Here or there, jump in," Harry told him. "Make sure all the horcrux are destroyed?"
"Going to do that tomorrow," he agreed. "It needs to be made sure of." He looked at Hermione. "Here?"
"There. I'm excellent at shields so I can use them to help the group and to hurt the other side.
"Sure," he agreed with a nod. He looked at Harry.
"If he doesn't show for that called battle, we'll find him." He smirked a bit. "I'm done with all this to quote Xander."
"Good. We'll have a few mop up battles but we'll handle it." He patted Harry on the shoulder. "You good?"
"My nose got broken earlier by a second year."
"Tripped you?" Bill asked. Harry nodded. "Why?"
"McGonagall said she had a crush and I disputed that I'd date anyone here. Especially after having to hide from the school's girls."
"Why?" Tonks asked. "The stuff in the paper?"
"Yup."
"Okay then." She grinned at Bill. "The girls all tried to capture him. A few had freaky ideas of what to do with him."
"Including taking off my dick and removing my mouth but making me their slaves," Harry said dryly. Bill shuddered.
"We had a *huge* bonfire of their pictures and dolls," Hermione said.
"Damn glad it wasn't me," Bill said. "Mam would be mad if I ran from girls."
Ron grinned at him. "Figured out how to get around that vision?"
"Yup. We're getting married in a semi-public park with pretty flowers. Her family will guard it so no one can attack." Ron grinned at that. "She got a copy of it from the twins. They were not pleased but they helped us figure out the important things to sidestep. Still haven't told Mam."
"We can tell Mum," Ron assured him, patting him on the arm. "Or let Charlie do it."
"Charlie would paste you for that idea," Bill warned.
"Yeah but he's not up here." He grinned. "He has to wait."
"Fine." He looked at Harry. "What if he tries it early?"
"Wouldn't be the first time," Harry admitted. "We've got ideas."
"Good!" He looked at Ron then at Hermione. "Has Mam gotten onto you yet?"
"About being a modern woman who believes that women have rights? Definitely. Though I'm not going to ever date Ron."
"Ginny's going to upset her a lot," Ron told him. "Did she tell you that Ginny got taken by a mare and colt?"
Bill blinked as he considered that. "Why?"
"They came visiting." He grinned. "We're told she's in valkyrie training."
"Oh, shit, they're going to be frantic," he muttered, looking down to shake his head. Then at his little brother again. "How long do we think before they send her back?"
"Few months probably. Armwrench said so."
"He'd probably know," Bill muttered. "Let me know where my part is."
"Pick a location and jump in," Harry said. "If you're here, we'll assign you to a section of the school that day."
Bill nodded, going to check in. The headmaster looked unamused when he signed in. He grinned. "I had to come help Harry and Ron with stuff. Training the cursebreaking skills so they're not drawing more problems."
"Would that be the baby dragon that likes to live in female's shirts?" he asked dryly.
"Yes, that caused that." He smirked and nodded. "I drew trolls."
"Charming," he sighed. "My former schools didn't have any of them."
"However they picked students probably weeded them out. Less than one percent have natural cursebreaking skills. It means a lot of shielding lessons. Both boys could use them firmed up. So I'll work on that with them."
"Are you staying in Gryffindor?"
"I can travel home most days," he promised. "Even though my mother will yell. A lot." He smirked, walking off. "Going to check on a few teachers."
"Fine, Mr. Weasley." He waved a hand and made a note in his journal about that. Maybe that one would calm down the younger Weasley.
Bill ran into Flitwick and nodded with a grin. "I'm in for stuff."
"I figured and it's nice you're not in the infirmary." He smirked a bit. "Armwrench is swearing at someone as of a few minutes ago. I can hear his suite from mine."
"That's fine. He's sworn at me before." He headed up to his suite, knocking gently and walking in when the door was waved open. "Sir." He nodded. "Want me to work on the shields the boys have?"
"Yes, please, since you offered the headmaster," he said, staring at him smugly.
"Had to do it officially."
"Point." He sat up, staring at him. "Your mother's in a tizzy. She's almost slept in front of that family clock of yours."
"So she knows I'm up here. I'll head home in a bit. Any other needs I can train into them?"
"Yes. Potter needs some skills with handling people. He had to run and hide."
"I heard. I'd have hid too with what they found in those altars to him."
"He found those later. The girls tried to kidnap him."
Bill grinned and nodded. "He's got good danger senses. All this has made sure. Nothing more dangerous than a teenage girl in a snit."
"True, my own sisters were. Though usually with daggers instead of magic." He stared at him. "Help the boy get used to people things, Bill. Also, if you could help me encourage Mr. Malfoy towards Alex it might be helpful?"
"What did Alex say?"
"That Mr. Malfoy had to come to him himself."
"Which is wise. A consort veela's curse would kill them quickly if not." He stared at him. "Can we finally break those?"
"If you wish to study that, go right ahead. They could like that I'm sure." He grinned. "Otherwise, what did you run into since you're clearly suppressed?"
Bill checked himself then handed over something from his pocket with a smirk. "Nearly woke him up. Again."
Loki looked at that figurine and sighed. "Why?"
"No clue!" He beamed. "But I left that to the others who wouldn't wake him up after noting that I had woken him once before."
"I'm sure he's thrilled. So are the ones at the bank." He put the figurine down after it bit him. He looked at Bill. "Still there."
"That's the no-notice spell they put on me."
Loki got up to stroll over and clean that off his cursebreaker, making Bill sigh in pleasure. "That's a good way to lose people. I'll let them know." He patted Bill on the cheek with a grin. "Go help the boys figure out how to actually talk to women. Your brother expects a woman like your mother to fall into his lap. Potter said if one flirts with him he'll try but has no idea how to handle girls outside Miss Granger. Who, I do agree would do Alex good too."
"She's very much like a mini Alex. I'm shocked she's not his kid." Loki frowned at him. Bill grinned, nodding some. "She's so much like Katya."
"Oh, dear, she is." He considered it. "Well!" He huffed, going to sit down again. "Watch out for my brother being around. He's shown up once."
"Have him bring Ginny back to Mum's."
Loki looked at him. "Thor deserves many things and much chaos, but I'm not *that* evil, Bill." Brill grinned, going to talk to the boys. Loki sighed, going back to his book, rubbing his forehead. Now that it was pointed out, he could definitely see Hermione Granger as Katya Dumass. He'd have to check her to make sure it wasn't her reborn. Though, he did know she was in stasis like so many of the family were.
***
Bill called Alex over the floo. "Granger is just like your sister."
Xander blinked a few times. "Which one? I have four."
"Katya."
"She's not physical enough to be Katya, but my oldest sister, who ended up being a healer....yeah. A lot like her." He nodded, grinning at him. "Maribelle would've adored that girl and mentored her into medical school. I'm going to see if we have her diary to show that girl. And no matchmaking. If he wants me, he can come flirt."
"Are you even back this way?" Bill asked dryly.
"No. I'm in the middle of stupid here in Sunnydale." He grimaced. "And I'm about to go off like a teenage girl in a fit." Bill grinned at that. "Seriously!"
"They put an anti-notice charm on me before I woke up that one being again. It had to be removed."
"Are they trying to get you killed!" Alex demanded. "That's dangerous and it holds down your natural magic!"
"I nearly did wake him up again even with that on me."
"He likes you! He really, really likes you," Alex said sarcastically. "He said last time that you reminded him of his mother." Bill rolled his eyes. "They shouldn't have sent you there at all! Are they without anyone else?"
"They wanted someone senior."
"Someone's stupid," Alex told him. "They clearly hate you as much as they did me. So be careful? Before someone curses you to deage you and puts you on a hellmouth?"
"Mam would find me, Alex. The clock would alert her."
"The family's protocols didn't find me."
"Oh, I didn't think about that. Huh. Well, I'll be careful. You be careful." He pointed behind him.
"Yeah, that's Spike. We're working together at the moment," he said dryly. "He's mated to Dru, who sends her love to Harry."
"I'll let him know when I work on his shielding lessons tomorrow." Spike vamped up. "Dude," he said dryly, cracking Xander up.
"By the way, this is William Weasley." Xander waved a hand with a grin. "Your dad's great uncle."
"I'll let Dad know," he decided with a nod at him. "At least you're not the boring sort that some of us are. Some of the uncles are totally boring and never do anything." He hung up with a grin, going to talk to Harry. "Talked to Alex," he told him in greeting, getting a grin for interrupting the studying. "He's fine. They're still full of problems. He's working with a former Weasley." Ron shuddered. "And Dru said hi."
"I'll send a hi right back," Harry said. "Though I'm still mad at her."
"Good." He looked at Ron then at Harry. "I'm going to ask the bad question. Are you two going to work for the bank?"
"No," Harry said. "Maybe with Xander."
Ron shrugged. "Isn't that the only option?"
"No," Bill said, staring at him. "And the answer you're going to give me is 'no, Bill, I don't want to go through what you've been through, including not waking up a higher being'."
"No, Bill, I have no intention of working for people who'd want me to go wake up a higher being," Ron quipped. "Did you?"
"Yes and they put a spell on me to prevent it happening the second time. Which is rather harmful."
"I'll find another position. Maybe still as an auror."
"Bring up your grades, Ron," Bill ordered.
Ron huffed. "Everyone nags about that!"
"Yeah, you gotta have 'em," Bill agreed. "Average isn't good enough for anyone but the Ministry." He smirked at him. "Want to go work with Dad?"
"I don't understand plugs at all," Ron said, shaking his head.
"Plugs aren't really a huge thing that we pay attention to in the muggle world anyway," Harry told him. "They're just kinda there unless you're an electrician." Ron frowned at him. "Seriously. They're just something that's important to have in the house but we pay no attention to them unless we're without one."
"Oh. Dad'll be upset."
"See if Hermione can introduce Arthur to her parents so he can see a regular muggle house?"
Ron nodded. "Oi, Hermione?" he called.
"Yes, I heard," she called back from her spot on the window seat. "Yes I can do that after I warn my parents. Things are moving very fast technologically right now and he'll need to keep up for his spot at the Ministry." She looked over, smiling at Bill. "Is that a problem from the last Horde or the ones who took over?"
"The last ones," he admitted. "Which I'm going to bring up when I see them next time. For tonight, we're going to work on shields." He stared at the boys, who put them back up. "Still got leaks, boys. Worse'n a puppy with tail action." Ron snorted but did put up things to go work with him. Harry had to run up to put his books up then followed.
***
Bill bowed to the head of the bank and the new king. "Sire," he said. "I've got a problem in the field."
"Which one are you?" the king asked.
"This is Cursebreaker Weasley," the head of the bank said, staring at him. "What now?"
"Professor Armwrench, our overseeing being, had to remove the anti-notice charm from me that my supervisor used to keep me from waking up that higher being again."
The king blinked a few times. "There's a whole lot to unpack in that single statement, Cursebreaker Weasley. I know of the Professor and his real name."
"Yes but there's a whole lot of spying spells in here," he said with a grin. He pointed at a wall. "Mostly around that area and the hidden spot behind the wall that a guard can jump out of."
The king went to look at the area and the spells, ending all of them brutally. "That's nicer. I didn't check in the last week." He looked at Bill again. "All right. So your supervisor sent you to a dig that you had been on before?"
"That I had been on as an apprentice," Bill agreed with a nod and a grin. "And we got pulled off it then because me yelling at someone woke up a younger God having a good nap in his temple." The king winced at that, nodding and waving a hand. "Alex got into his face about him getting pushy and mean, and told him to blow him and make it good, but we did get him back to sleep.
"I'm not supposed to be anywhere near that dig. When I reported for my newest assignment, I was not told it was anywhere near that town until I landed in the town. Then I protested that I should not be there, for that very reason. My supervisor, Emblem Clan leader Carbine, put an anti-notice spell on me."
"Which can suppress and actually damage your natural magic," the head of the bank said, getting a nod from Bill. "It was removed safely?"
"Loki did last night. He could tell from in the hallway apparently. If not farther away. I had myself checked by Madam Pomfrey." He handed over her note. "I've got to rebuild my stores before I back up my little brother with the battles coming up."
They looked it over then the King sighed, looking at him. "This is bad."
"That is bad and my little brother's a natural cursebreaker too, just like I was." He grinned. "I can't let him come here with that sort of problem going on. Alex himself warned me not to turn into him by being cursed and put onto a hellmouth."
"We'd never do that and it was Dumbledore," the head of the bank said.
The king looked at him. "Looking at that, there were a few dverger who helped. Including his supervising one and the one who was to back him up in the field. One's still alive." The head of the bank winced.
Bill nodded with a sigh. "I can't let Ron near the bank with that going on. For that matter, I'm not sure I can or should be in the field with that going on as it could get others hurt, as I was cursed when Alex was. I was just knocked out for a whole day thankfully."
The king looked at him. "I saw that. There was another name that was noted in that file?"
"Was it his sister Katya?"
"Yes."
"She died on a dig a week before we were cursed but no one told us. Alex found that out later." The king winced. "One of his last surviving relatives. Though I'm told his father's in a coma somewhere in a hospital."
Des's ghost floated in and looked at him. "There's a few distant cousins left, mostly in Eastern Europe. Mostly past the third or fourth cousin level. His father's been kept sedated by someone's orders. Though no one's paying for it now. Xander really should go fix that."
"He's in the middle of big shit, Grandma Des."
"I saw! I can't get there but we can scry. He should do that this week."
"I'll get paperwork from him to handle it," Bill said, getting a smile and a pat on the cheek. "Anyone else of note that he'll run from?"
"Anacordina is in stasis and she's trying very hard to come back. I'm thinking about it. Katya's not alive. We're not sure though. She wasn't put into stasis."
"No, she's with Loki's people," Bill said with a grin. "I asked him once and he admitted she's with the Valkyries as an honored warrior who sometimes takes a horse out for a spin." Des winced. "I haven't told Alex, he hasn't asked."
Des sighed. "That's good. Maybe she'll be safe."
"Doubt it." He grinned at her. "A Dumass cursebreaker, safe?"
"Point." She sighed, looking at the king and the head of the bank. "Yes, there's still some rot in the roots of your tree. They want to hush up the truth to cover up the problems. Xander's going to lose his temper. Again." She smirked before leaving.
"Grandma Des, can we have Maribelle's diary?" Bill called. "Xander pointed out that Granger might like to read it."
"Bring her to the castle. It's in the library somewhere," she called back.
"Yes, ma'am." He looked at the dvergers again, who were sighing and looking up the problems. Bill grinned. "I'm planning on being here for the battles to back up my idiot younger brother. Just to make my mother scream less at him and so they have a few adults in there with them finally."
The king nodded. "I can agree with that need, Cursebreaker Weasley. We'll put you on vacation leave and then unpaid leave if we need to. Get that healed?"
"I am. I'm already rebuilding what I lost. I'll go to the castle to refill most easily when Harry goes back next time."
"Good. We'll look into your supervisor. Though we have no idea how you'd get stranded in Sunnydale."
"There's seven other hellmouths in the world. Including in Cleveland in the States."
"I'm sure the MaCUSA loves that," the king said dryly.
"Probably not but by what Xander's said in a letter, their last president is trying to do an ascension next year or so." He grinned.
"The bank over there will be *thrilled* to hear that," the head of the bank said, then shook his head with a sigh. "Political scandal worse than ours."
"They've found a few here who're trying," the King told him. "They're mostly already in jail."
"Good!"
Bill grinned. "Loki has encouraged Mr. Malfoy to talk to Xander about perhaps courting him as well. He thinks they'd be good together as they are in another realm." Bill shook his head quickly then looked up. "I don't need possessed. I'll bring you home to my mother!" The spirit left. He smiled at the bankers again, getting a head shake. "I'm working on their shielding."
"Good idea. Have fun teaching them," the king said. "We'll see you after you're healed after the battle."
"Thank you, Sire." He bowed to them and left them to talk.
The king looked at his head banker. "Fix that. Clean up the messiness. I do not want to behead anyone over that. Make sure they're not wasting our resources in our highly trained cursebreakers. We put much too much work into them to waste them that way."
"I will, Sire. He's right, that stinks. A lot. Worse than my grandchild does." The king grinned at that. "I have no idea why he still smells like pickles after two baths." He looked into that cursebreaker's file. It was already listing him being Lost. "Ah, they were going to kill him." He showed the King, who had that supervising being brought in to talk to them. Probably with a sword.
The head of the bank got that fixed and the other files about that dig. Then he did the paperwork to put Bill Weasley on vacation for a few months. He went to tell the human head of the cursebreakers, who was not amused that had happened. He hadn't heard anything yet but had seen the file. This new information made him very mad. The head of the bank assured him they were fixing it and to bring any other irregularities to him.
***
Harry brought Hermione and Bill with him that weekend to the castle, making her sigh in pleasure again. "The magic here is so pure," she said happily.
"It is," Bill agreed. "The family's held this land for generations now. You can't even tell that there's some hidden artifacts around here. Hogwarts could've been this way but it got corrupted by the former headmasters having greed." He walked them that way. "Oi, Aunt Allisandra?" he called as they walked into the side door of the library. She faded into view, giving him a pointed look. "This is Hermione Granger, a friend of Harry's."
"I've heard a lot about you, dear." She grinned as the girl curtseyed. "You don't have to treat me like royalty. You're not a cursebreaker." She patted Harry on the head. "What's going on?"
"Shielding lessons," Bill said. "Getting him away from the girls who're hunting him again." Harry sighed but nodded. "Letting Hermione learn about Maribelle."
"Oh!" She beamed at the girl. "She was quite the elder daughter of the family. Alex's oldest sister." She led her to show her the portrait. "She was a healer. Not many women in those days went full healer but she did and she was fantastically caring. Sat with Alex when he had been stabbed by Justinius and unicorn blood."
She winced at that. Bill joined them. "Justinius is a purebred ass, Hermione. Purely an ass. I met him twice and I nearly hexed him both times. Only Alex stopped me." She nodded, looking at the portrait again. "She died with her fourth child, healing him from a fall. She had been pregnant and wore her magic too far down. The pregnancy took the rest and it killed her with seizures."
"Is that common?" Hermione asked, looking at him.
"No. Now we know why and got all that solved so the child can be shielded from the mother's magic to prevent it. They had barely known anything about that at all then. That was right before the family got sick." He led her to another portrait of the kids.
"That's Katya, Maribelle, that little one was Philippe. He fell when Alex was eight or so. Not sure where, Alex never said. The fall did brain damage." She nodded, understanding that. "That's Mel, the evil sister. That's Justinius behind her. She's the one who hangs out with Justinius. So she's self banished."
Hermione nodded at that, moving to another one. He grinned. "That is not Alex. That's an ancestor who was a lot like him but also flashy and very much a streaker. Or as Alex called him, the first underwear model, even before we really had underwear." He grinned at her blush. "That portrait once asked me if I was sure I knew enough about sexual matters to please a future wife. I really thought I had until that talk."
She giggled, shaking her head. "Wow."
"Yeah. His family was full of people who were...interesting. To say the least. That one's Allisandra's generation if I remember right." He walked her off. "Where's the journals?" he asked. "Library?" he called. She appeared. "Alex is letting her read Maribelle's journal, Library. Do you know where it is?"
"Library knows where all the journals are. Are in box," she said dryly. "Where box is.... Library not sure yet. Let Library look, Miss Grangy." She looked her over then nodded. "Library can see why people wanted you to marry her Alex boy. You is pretty. You is smart. You is pushy like his sisters. Will do Harry Boy good if you take him instead." She disappeared.
Hermione looked at him oddly. Bill shrugged. "Library's been with the family for years," he told her with a grin. "She remembers when Alex was learning to read. She was little and barely starting to work for the family then." He led her to show her the other portraits. She smiled and nearly touched one.
"That is .... I want to say Aunt Arra. Not totally sure which aunt she was. I know she was a married-in aunt. Widowed fairly young so they kept her." He blinked at her. "That kept her safe and she helped with the family's duties but not the unicorns. They had one aunt who always kept herself pure until a daughter was old enough to take it over and learned from her.
"In Alex's generation that was Anacordina. Who was a minor nagging sort but she was the sort to baby and coo over the foals. Hated chickens though. Absolutely hated chickens according to Xander." He led her to the others. Library found the box and put it on the table. So Hermione got to see whose journals they had. He had talked to Xander about his father last night and it was being handled by a lawyer for now. Xander was still tied up with the problems out there.
***
Xander had enough of the demons from the law firm trying Sunnydale for no reason. He pulled his wand with a sneer. "Celeri calcitrant." The phantom kick in the butt they got made them all scream in pain since he had put some anger into it. It wasn't a mild kick, it had thrown a few to the ground. He did it a few more times to make sure they were down.
Then he looked at the demons the lawyers had brought with them. "Suffocare ventrem. Portis mitte porta." He waved with a smirk. "Have fun with the tentacles!" he called as they were sent off to the hellmouth and forced inside. He put his wand back in the holster, smirking at the staring lawyers. "Howdy. So how do you like my town?"
One made himself stand up. "You're a wizard."
"No, ya think?" he shot back sarcastically. "What gave you that idea that I, Alexander Mikhal Harris-Dumass, am a wizard?" The demon flinched, shaking his head. "Yeah, me, mother fucker." He smirked. "You wanna challenge me?"
"No! The highers hate you!"
"Yay?" He shrugged. "I've told a few to blow me but they haven't yet. I was hoping one would be better at it than normal." He stared at him. "So...." He grinned. "You're doing what to my hellmouth?"
"It was not our idea! We were paid to create attention here!"
"Dude, the aurors don't care. We're tired of you but we've fought worse. I mean...Wilkins." He smirked again. "Now, anything else you wanted to do today or are you going to leave my town alone again?"
"We could do much for your family."
"I doubt that since the rest of my family's name is Harry Potter."
The demon flinched, shaking his head. "NO! It cannot be!"
"It can be." He grinned. "And if Voldemort sent you to distract me? He's shit outta luck. I know seven different ways to adjust time." The demonic lawyer winced at that. "Let's prove that, shall we?" He took that one out of time to...talk to him and brought him back begging for mercy. "There. Better! I do love people begging. Bedroom begging, villains begging...all sorts of begging really."
He smirked at the others. Who all decided to flee instead. That one had to crawl a few feet to stand up but did flee as well. Their allies were gone. Their lives were about to be forfeit. They could not win here. Especially not with one who was known to hurt higher beings. "I really should go talk to their higher ups," Xander decided.
"Make sure Cordelia's going to be okay." He walked off again. Buffy was at another fight. Giles had been with him and was groaning but oh well. Xander decided to cast a curse of misfortune on the law firm for hell. It'd do them good, teach them new things.
Maybe he'd even go rescue their artifacts from their vaults so they could be properly broken up. He didn't need the work but he could handle that. And they probably had weapons too. He could like new weapons. "Delictum omne malum tuum," he cast quietly.
Giles groaned, rubbing his face. "No going evil, Xander. I'll have Buffy take you out after she makes you take her shopping again."
"Yes, Giles," he quipped. "I'll stay mildly gray."
"I've never seen such school yard hexes used offensively."
Xander shot him a smirk. "It's not nice to make me miss out on sleep. I need more, not less." He went home to check on Harry, going to the castle to talk to Hermione. He knew where the diary she was looking for was. He found it and handed it over, settling at the table to tell her about Maribelle. She smiled at that. It was good for him to remember sometimes.
***
Xander followed the teens back to Hogsmeade, nodding at the older man watching the students being idiots in the town's square. "Professor," he said in greeting.
"Dumass." He looked him over. "Not a robe?"
"Hardly ever. Hides my good side." He looked at the kids. "Did you ever give those twenty points you owed me?"
Methos snorted. "I don't even remember why I owed them, boy."
"I had impressed you with my power of smartass by handling the duel going on between the girls arguing over the boy who wanted neither of them. So it was probably sarcastically said but I gotta stick up for the kids." He grinned at him.
"Alas I'm not a professor right now."
"You sure?" He looked at the squealing going on. "Hey!" he shouted. "Quit picking on the kid!" They backed away from the kid that was going to hex them. Xander looked at her, then shook his head. "Calm down. The temper's not going to help you any. If they did something that wrong, ruin their life by making it a living hell for the next few years you'll be in school with them." He walked over. "Revenge is a dish best served over a *long* time." He grinned. "You physically okay?"
She nodded. "I hate them!"
"I went to school with many people I hated. And I made some of them regret being that way because I made their lives a holy hell until they became better humans." He smirked a bit. "You're a woman, you can do that. It's in your fundamental nature as a woman." He patted her on the head.
"Now, go do fun things! Before you have to go back to the school for the next few weeks." She ran off to talk to a few of her housemates, including Luna. He looked at Luna, who grinned at him. "Is your house full of assholes, Lovegood?"
"Yup. They try me too. I need to use that ideology." She walked the kid off. "Come on, we'll figure out how best to start making them sorry."
"Can we tank their grades?"
"That's up to the teachers," Luna reminded her. "But if they're known to be idiots, the teachers won't give them pity points. Like many in our house count on for better grades."
Hermione shook her head. "Ravenclaws get pity points? We don't in Gryffindor." Harry shook his head with a sigh, heading for the candy shop. "Ooh, wait for me. I need chocolate." She followed.
Xander grinned and nodded at the kids. "She's right. Slytherin never got pity points. Even from our head of house. Gryffindor never got them. Hufflepuff never got them. Why do Ravenclaws get pity grades? Aren't you supposed to be the house that makes good grades?"
They pouted at that. "Is that what Rowena would expect of you?" he asked facetiously. They shook their heads. "Then be better housemates and kids before I offer to teach defense next year." They fled from that. He walked back to Methos, who was laughing. "I could."
"I'm sure you could. You've run into a great many things, Alexander." He stared at him.
"I could even bring Spike and Dru to lecture about the demons they know," he quipped. "It'd keep her from petting my security tentacle plant." Methos walked off laughing harder. The muggle stalking him huffed after him. Xander shook his head but went to get a beer. He had a few coins on him and held one up. "Can I get a beer? Regular beer?"
She nodded, taking that to get him one. He sighed in pleasure as he drank it then went to fix something at the school that had gotten his attention. He found Bill up there staring at it. Bill looked at him. "How do you do that with alcohol in your system?"
"It makes me able to reach that sort of thought plane." He looked at the same place then undid the spell. Bill held the other spells in place. The curse was unraveled and the barn was now freed of it again. Flitwick came strolling out.
"Cursed," they reported.
"I can see that. You're the only one I know that has to be a bit drunk to get that spell gone, Dumass." He helped them and it did end it.
Xander grinned. "Better! It was singing loudly from town."
"Shields," Bill quipped, getting out of swatting range.
Xander looked at him. "The hellmouth's being nasty because I fed it a demon biker gang. I need to dump that and not start a new one."
"There's no way you can do that," Flitwick said, staring at him. Xander focused, starting to dump it in front of him. "Oh, that is a rip!" Xander stopped and grinned at him. "Bloody hell, how did you do that?"
"I was *linked* to the hellmouth. It thinks I'm its kid or wife or something." He grinned sweetly. "If that old man was still alive I'd fix that."
"Me as well," Flitwick admitted, cleaning up that small mess with Bill's help. Then they sighed once it was gone. "You could go use the draining stone, Alexander."
"Just plain old Xander, Professor Flitwick. And no, I can't. I don't want to go there. It'd link the bank to the hellmouth out there. Do I want to do that to the bank?"
"No, it'd harm innocents who weren't involved," he agreed. "Hmm. We don't have one here."
Xander looked at him. "There's a few in the school," he said dryly. "I can feel eighteen artifacts calling out to me."
"I can feel three," Bill said. "But we feel different things."
Xander looked at him then listed the ones he knew by name. Bill winced at a few. Flitwick looked horrified. "What is that doing in a school!" he demanded.
"Nosy old men?" Xander guessed. "As one of those I had been detoxing before I got shrank?"
"We must remove that before it harms a student."
"Okay." He nodded, heading in with those two. "Ron here, Bill? Or Harry yet?"
"Neither. Thankfully. Ron's got a gold affinity and Harry's got a power one. And a dead thing one thanks to that thing n his forehead." Xander shot him a grin. "At least it's gone."
"It is. The doctor was fantastic. Boston has some great docs." He paused at one closet, the one where some students had been found. "Huh. That's a portal." He opened it and pulled out the portal to hand to Flitwick. Then he moved on to get the other few things. "Babies, I'm here," he called as he walked into the storage area. His shields on them went down.
"I forgot that was your security shield code," Bill said, shaking his head with a sigh. He helped him gather, box up, contain in one case since it was trying to spew, and then they searched the rest of that storage area for other things that weren't drawn to their gifts. Bill held up one. "Is that the Dark Challis?"
Xander took it to look at then inside. "No, but it wants to be really hard since someone stuffed a wish granting demon into it." He handed it back. "If you wish your mother lose her voice and ability to send howlers I won't tell anyone."
"She's still doing that. Even after the bank fined her." Bill tucked it into a box. "Thankfully the headmaster blocked them."
"Your brother's lucky. Some of the ones that hit you were brutal."
"Ron and Harry had to steal a flying car the family had to get to school their second year thanks to a house elf blocking them from getting on the train," Bill told him. Xander grinned at that. "Seriously!"
"At least they're good boys most of the time. They did problem solve."
"Yeah," he said dryly. "They sure did. Got Dad in trouble for making the flying car too."
"Eeh, he was experimenting probably. They'd forgive that. He's not the first."
"No, not by a long shot."
"One of the tanks in World War 2 was charmed to fly by their team of wizards running it. We had to break it my first year in because someone had done something so it wouldn't come down from five feet above our heads. The Ministry got asked to please fix their people's mistakes."
Bill shook his head with a sigh. "Wow."
"Yeah." He nodded with a grin. "A lot." He found something and looked at it in the dim light then held it above his head. "May the Slayers have peace and easy days," he intoned. The demon started to complain but had to grant it. "Thanks. I needed a vacation from the hell on the hellmouth." He handed it to Bill.
Bill felt the spell that made him invoke a wish. "May my family's debts finally be released," he intoned. It grumbled again but went into a box all by itself so they could warn people. Xander grinned at him. "Dad's trying to get it dismissed."
"Good luck. The Ministry can use it to get out of paying me all the rent they still owe."
"Well, yeah, they could." He'd tell his father that night. "Bit different."
"Yup but they'll use it to start a precedent to ease their own problems."
"Point." They both looked at one thing that seemed to turn itself on. "Praise be to Loki?" he muttered, looking at it.
Xander shook his head. "He didn't set it off to let us know. No, that's just picked up that there's family of it around here. Go run off whatever kid it is."
Bill went to do that. "It's Crabbe and Goyle," he called a minute later.
"Huh. Okay." He nodded, strolling over to carefully remove that artifact and denature it immediately. It quit broadcasting and the kids out there both sighed. He leaned out to hold it up. "It'll pull whatever family it belongs to so it'll swear on it. It'll keep itself bound to the family because having you guys in bondage means that it'll be stronger. Someday it'll prompt one of you to open it."
"Mine," Goyle said with a wave. "That's why I came down. My father wanted to know if I had ever seen that box."
Xander grinned. "It's going to the bank."
"Please. I'm not swearing on it."
"Actually, any family of yours could," Xander said. "Cousins, aunts, uncles." He looked at Crabbe.
"Second cousin," he agreed with a sigh and a nod. "We can let our parents know."
"Cool. Bill can bring it to the bank later." They grinned. "Any others you guys are looking for or at?"
"There's supposed to be a portal around here somewhere for the Malfoy family," Crabbe said. "He has no idea. Just read about it in a journal."
"They're all up on the fourth hallway of the South-East tower." He pointed. "Only family can activate those and I have no idea where it'd go to. It might be somewhere the family doesn't own now. Tell him not to try it until after the war just in case."
"We can do that." They headed off to tell that to Malfoy.
Hermione came up the hall reading a book. She held it up so Bill could see the title while she read. He took it from her with a grin. "Thank you. It was getting persnickety. I wanted to do other things today." She walked off again. "It was in the main library in the defense section. I was looking for the book for the paper."
"Second shelving unit in the charms section," Xander called. "Look at Morgans."
"I've read that book and I'm going to use it someday soon," she called back with a grin. "I needed stuff on krakens."
"Take a field trip to talk to Ripper in Sunnydale. We have one on top of our hellmouth."
"Really?" She went to floo him. "Mr. Giles?" she asked with a smile.
"I am, young lady. Who're you?"
"Hermione Granger. I have to do a paper on kraken and Xander Dumass said to ask you about any titles I could look into for it? That you had one out there?"
"Yes. We do. It's unfortunately active as well. Can you tell him it's trying to pet the new school's construction. His boss is rather peeved."
"I can do that in a moment. The teacher thinks they're stringy and thin like wires. Are they?"
"No, ours is a portal version and it's very much like a devil's snare vine. With sticky leaves that can pull you in." He blinked a few times. "Where have you looked?"
"Anderson."
"Oh, that piece of drivel." He smiled. "Look at Hyav, Miss Granger. He's got the differences down and we can send you pictures if you wish."
"Please!" She grinned. "That'd be great and the other kids could use it as well. Thank you, Mr. Giles. I'll let him know right now." She hung up and went to tell that to Bill. "Tell Xander that the hellmouth's kraken is annoying his boss by petting his job site."
"I'll get there an hour ago in a few minutes," Xander called. "The damn thing's flirty sometimes. One of my coworkers on the construction site is apparently wearing its favorite scent." She walked off shuddering, going to look for that book. He grinned at Bill when he stared at him. "It lives under the old library on top of the hellmouth. That way the billions of demons don't come out."
"Great. Have fun with that. The one I ran into was bad enough and I still have nightmares about the greenhouses."
"I should give a few cuttings to Sandburg. See if he could plant it here to help with the defense." He finished up and backed out, taking the newly freed artifact with him. "Here you go. Totally harmless prank of the ages that'll drive people nuts." He winked and disappeared to go handle the kraken.
Bill put it into a box and checked the room then took it with him. He nodded at the headmaster. "There were dangerous artifacts stored in a simple storage room."
"Please do get rid of it, Mr. Weasley. Who was that with you?"
"The Dumass heir, Xander."
"Oh, Potter's cousin. Understood. Have some fun."
"You as well." He floated the boxes to the apparation barrier then used the camp moving spell to move him and them to the bank. He had to go back for one because that one was pouty. He handed that to the head human cursebreaker. "If you touch it, it'll make you invoke a wish," he warned. Then he grinned. "Found 'em in Hogwarts in a storage room."
"Hell," he muttered, looking at the stuff in the boxes. "Is that the Dark Challis?"
"Xander said it wanted to be really hard. It's got a demon trapped." He pointed. "That belongs to the Goyle family. It's been keeping them bound. His father wanted him to look at it as a natural cursebreaker to see if he could fix it and free them."
He nodded. "I can do that. Is it broken?"
"Alex at least muted it."
"Even better." He floated the boxes off. "That one'll cause you to invoke it," he warned the dverger in charge of the cursebreakers when he looked.
"Those don't tend to work on us." He did pick it up and ended up holding it above his head and thinking fast. "May all those that dishonor the Horde be shown as the goblins they are and the rest known for the true being they become." He put it down with a huff. "That shouldn't work on us!"
"Some beings are higher and able to affect anything," he said, holding up that challis. "It's got a trapped demon. Bill said Alex said it wanted to be the Dark Challis."
The dverger looked in it then at him. "You have some fun, Bradley. I'm going to have some tea." He left him to handle it. The junior cursebreakers were brought in and the trainee class as well so they could learn how to sense dark artifacts better.
Allisandra appeared, smiling at them. "We can teach you boys like I taught Alex. He was such a good boy finding all the stuff I had hidden." She floated over to help the trainees and the junior ones. A few she wasn't too sure about. They didn't have the gifts. Two had the gifts but were dark leaning. She'd talk to the dverger later about them.
***
Xander appeared in the back of a classroom in Cascade silently, barely flashing into place. Blair had noticed. So had someone else so he winked at them. They ignored him. When the class was done he got up and walked forward, handing over a box. "Part of our kraken in Sunnydale's hellmouth, Sandburg." He grinned. "It's agreed to help protect the school."
"I'll make sure it'll thrive," he said, looking inside at the tentacles. "Oh, that's a portal kind, not an ocean kind." He looked at Xander. "Is there the wire kind?"
"Yes, they're tree ones actually. Found only in a few areas. I've tangled with two. Have a few scars too." He winked and disappeared since he heard students coming to talk to that professor.
Blair bundled it into his messenger bag for now. He could go plant them later. It would help defend the school. And Hagrid would love to baby the kraken he was sure.
***
Hermione put herself in front of the defense teacher, who had hated her paper. She put the pictures in front of him. "From Xander Dumass and the watcher out in Sunnydale. That's the Sunnydale hellmouth's kraken." She smiled. "He'd know. I got the book suggestion from Mr. Giles, that watcher and a former student here. He's fought it before."
He looked, looking disgusted. "That's...." He looked at her. "Why is it out?"
"Xander Dumass said that it was flirting with one of his coworkers on the construction site. He said the wire ones are tree versions and found only in a few areas of the world. Ocean ones are less sticky and more slimy. That one has sticky leaves that'll suck you in." She put a cutting down for him. "He sent it with the pictures. Their slayer out there had to make it go back and leave the poor man alone."
"Oh." He tested the leaf, it was definitely a kraken. "So Hyav was right?"
She smiled and nodded. "He told me to look in there for information when I flooed."
"Oh." He tipped his head down, staring at the pictures. "It's not drawing at all."
"It has no face. It's a demonic plant apparently. It has a mouth but no face. Like an octopus or squid."
He nodded, still staring at the pictures. "So very wrong and weird."
"The world is just like that sometimes," she quipped. "Would you please reconsider my paper in light of this new information, Professor?"
"Yes, Miss Granger," he sighed, taking it back. "I'll give it back at dinner." She smiled and left him to stare at those. He finally went outside to get some fresh air so he could quit staring at that photo. Of course, the newly planted vine out there by the doorway reached for him so he had to flee back inside again.
It figured that it had migrated with the picture! He went to complain to Madam Sprout but she had no idea what he was talking about. When he took her to see it, it amused her that it tried to pet him but she couldn't do more than move it farther from the doorway. It could protect the students.
***
The auror teaching defense reported to his boss, Madam Bones. "We have a kraken tentacle guarding the school."
She blinked a few times. "How?"
"For all I know it came with the pictures Miss Granger got from a watcher out in Sunnydale about theirs because I thought the wire kind were the real ones."
"No, they're more like vines," she said. "I've seen a few of both types though." She stared at him. "Are you well enough about that?"
"The thing wants to mate with me! It tries to give me backrubs!"
She smiled. "Use another doorway."
"I have been but it's very near the front of the school."
"Good. It can protect the students hopefully."
"We all hope so." He slumped. "They're not letting me know anything."
"Of course not. You told them it was your job instead of theirs because no one else ever does anything with them. Step in and step up, Auror Myrons."
"Yes, ma'am." He left after finishing his report to go back to the school. He found Ron Weasley talking to a girl on the stairs and her smirking at him for his bad jokes. "Weasley." He looked over. "If something happens, I need a position."
"You're taking the second tier walkway," he said with a point. "Get the farther back coming in and the forest."
"I can do that." He walked off so Ron could finish his flirting. Boys did things like that and girls put up with it.
Ron looked at the girl, who smirked at that. "Go hide," he told her. "I'll tell the others you're sneaking off." She squealed, going to do that. Her housemates would understand her hiding away to do something rash. She was just like that. Ron went to the library to hiss in someone's ear, getting a nod. They had lived with her for six years, they knew about her and her odd ways. They could make believe she was sleeping in her room until breakfast.
***
Hermione looked at the girl coming in the next morning, who was wobbly but smiling. She got up to go look at her. "Do you need helped to the infirmary for the blood on your shoulder?" she asked quietly. "Or help somehow?"
"No, Granger. That's not mine. He bumped his face too hard and it made his nose bleed." Hermione blushed. She grinned and patted her on the cheek. "It's fine. You're being a protective big sister." She walked up to the front table and put something in front of her head of house, who blinked at her. Hermione had went back to her seat. "Madam."
She looked at the official paperwork then at her student. "I should say the same, Madam Penelope Remarkis." McGonagall choked. She smiled. "Is he joining you here?"
"If he can in a few days. If not, we'll figure it out this weekend, Professor."
"Good. I look forward to instructing him in how to support a Hufflepuff." She smiled. "Congratulations but you're in trouble for sneaking off." The girl blushed. "Though I do understand," she sighed. "I snuck off to marry mine our last week of school."
The girl grinned and went to her own seat with her paperwork. "I'm married and if one of you hit on my man, I'm going to ask Potter to duel you for me!" The whole house squealed and pounced her to hug.
The headmaster looked down. "How do we handle that here?"
"We have a special suite she can take up," McGonagall sighed, sipping her morning tea. "I wonder if her parents know. I hate telling them such things."
"I shall since she's mine," Madam Sprout said happily.
The girl looked over. "She knew. She called me last night when my wellness charm went off about me not being up here. So she's met him via floo and will be up next weekend to meet him for real. She'll tell my father sometime." She went back to hugging and sharing details about how to elope. You needed some paperwork for the Ministry and the license.
At her seat, Hermione smiled. She looked at her girls down the table. "If some of you want to follow her example, I won't tell on you for that but do find out all that you need to know before you attempt it. You can't sneak off twice to do that. Just let me know so I'm aware you snuck out of the tower." They all nodded at that and went back to eating.
Neville looked at her. "Me too?" he guessed with a smile.
"Yes, you as well, Neville. Though if you elope your grandmother will probably heave a fit."
"And then some," he agreed with a smirk. "Though it would simplify some things."
"Find out what you both need," she said. "Then that one person who came to substitute for us was Father Philip Callahan. He can probably perform a formal wedding."
"I hadn't thought about that," he said, glancing at Hannah, who blushed at him. "It's something to think about. Happiness can so easily disappear. Especially during a war." Hermione patted him on the hand so he settled in to think about it. Hannah was as well.
A few other girls were thinking about how romantic it was to elope that way.
***
McGonagall stood up before all the students that night. "I've been asked by some parents to talk about how a marriage works, children. As most of you know, I'm a widow. So let's talk about the romantic ideals and the reality of a real marriage." They nodded at that, settling in to listen to her lectures on that. It was interesting and something they mostly had to consider sometime soon.
"First, do be aware that we only have seven married student suites in this school," she said, staring around. "Even if your spouse is in another house, you probably will want to use that instead of one of you moving with them. Being married in a room with a few other people living not even six feet away can be very tiring and trying. You'll be doing many things that roommates don't want to hear about."
A few of the girls took notes on that. Just in case.
***
Alex heard from Harry that night, smiling and shaking his head. "Poor guy." Giles looked over with a sigh. "Someone in Hufflepuff eloped. The whole school got told what a marriage meant and how it happened, and that there were only seven married suites in the school."
"We've had a few," Giles said.
"Wars do prompt people to marry before one of the couple goes off to war."
"True. I'm sure that one's probably happy. I hope her parents are."
"Harry said they're fine. He seems nice. He showed up at dinner to meet her friends." He grinned. "He's from one of the day schools near her house."
"That figures. Which is transferring?"
"He's commuting." Giles nodded at that. "But in other news, we did clear out a few artifacts from the school that had no business being there. Including some stuff that was stuffed with demons. One was pretending to be the Dark Challis."
"Oh, Merlin, who put that in a school," Giles complained.
"Probably a headmaster." Xander shrugged with a grin. "Bill took nine boxes to the bank."
"Charming. Anything I should know about?"
Xander beamed at him and nodded. "Yup. Two statues to the Dreamer." Giles stiffened, staring at him. "And an altar setup. Not sure if that's related or not. It was in the same box Bill found that night and told me about."
"Are they summoning him?"
"It was in a storage room. So maybe a house elf might've."
"I wonder if house elves can summon demons," he said, considering it.
Xander nodded quickly. "Yes they can. Intentionally and not. And don't ask me how I know that. It's not a story to share. I don't want to hear the yelling about what they did when they summoned a big horned guy who lives in LA.
"One desperately wanted away from their master," he said at Giles' odd look at him. "Unintentional in that case. The other....they summoned Tiamat." He beamed. "I do not want to remember that fight. I spent six days in the hospital being poked by Madam Pomfrey when she was a young mediwitch."
Giles blinked a few times. "Tiamat? The Goddess?"
"Dragon form!" He beamed. "So like the D&D character!"
"Bloody hell," Giles complained. "Why would they do that?"
"They were really pissed at someone who was trying to make them sexual objects. They wanted her to protect them. They knew that one was tough and only a dragon had ever injured him so...." He spread his arms with a grin and shrugged.
"She was not amused. Though she did take out that human and did talk to the house elves. Then someone in the family showed up to try to take her out and it started a brawl and...." He waved a hand in the air. "A definite moment of 'fuck my life' going on that I got sent to handle. Or negotiate."
Giles shuddered, walking off rubbing his arms. "Can they still do that?"
"What one house elf knows, they all know."
"Oh, dear." He went to make sure none had gotten into his books. Library was nicely shelving but wasn't studying from them at least.
Xander sent Harry a note about that so he could go look it up in the library. It was covered in the news since it happened in Hogsmeade. Plus there were demon summoning books in the library. Giles had found them way back when.
***
Harry looked up, touching his necklace. "What?" he demanded quietly. The teacher he had detention with glared at him. He blinked a few times. "Why would a house elf summon a demon?" He made notes. "I've got to look that up, Professor Snape."
"They cannot."
"They can. Dobby?" he called. He appeared. "Tiamat?" he demanded.
Dobby shrugged but looked embarrassed. "Theys wanted to be free of a master that was hard to kill. Had only been hurt by a dragon." He shrugged again, his ears flopping down. "Summoned help." He grinned. "She was nice to us but others got mad and fought her." He disappeared.
Snape looked horrified. "Xander said he got sent to end the fight. And I'm to find all the demon summoning books in the library to have them put up. Before we get another version of Ethan Rayne here." He went to do that. He walked in. "Hermione, help me find the books on demon summoning. Xander said there's a lot here."
She pointed with a smug look. "Over there, that moving bookshelf, third shelf up, Harry. The other section is in the transfiguration section. The ones on ritual summoning was checked out by Neville and never returned."
"It's in my home library. I had the idea to summon one to get back at a few bullies," Neville said. "I'll send it back once I'm out of here." He grinned at the librarian, who was scowling at him. "I took it from Ron's hands."
"Oh, yes, thank you," Hermione said, looking at him then at Harry. "Why?"
"House elves once summoned Tiamat to protect them from a master. Xander remembered and told me to remove them all to somewhere safer."
"Sure. We can go find them all to let the librarian hide them. So we're not facing that as well." She went to find them but found most of them were with Luna Lovegood. "Why do you have them, Luna?"
She smiled. "They're interesting but a lot of work. One of my dorm mates is an idiot who wanted to learn. There's no way I want to deal with her."
"Good," Harry agreed. "Can we help you hide them?"
"Please. Before I have to fight her. She has pretty hair to pull out by the handful."
Hermione nodded. "If I'm here, let me help." They got all those to the librarian, and Luna knew where most of the rest were. A few were checked out by that girl.
Luna went to talk to Flitwick. "I've taken the liberty of robbing Melodia's book stash on how to summon demons before I have to pull her hair out by the handful," she said happily from his doorway. "And I kept most of the demon summoning books away from her. I don't want to deal with her doing things to be prettier." She walked off again.
"She's doing what?" Flitwick demanded, going to find that girl to check her things. The idiot young girl did indeed have summoning things. A lot of summoning things. Including one already going. "We need to stop that. How do I... Someone get me Bill Weasley," he called. "Or Xander Dumass!" A few kids went running to find one of the Golden Trio. They could find either of those.
Instead he got Rupert Giles, who sighed as he walked into the dorm. "You rang?" he asked with a smile.
"I did because you can solve it better and faster." He pointed. "Miss Lovegood was keeping books from her on purpose and just let me know tonight."
Giles looked. "Stealing beauty. Stealing energy to make them look old. Bees to attack people." He nodded and closed it all out then cleaned up her mess, handing it over in a box with a smile. "Should I introduce her to Ethan?"
"Could you handily teach her about why it's wrong?"
"I heard tonight that Xander knew of some house elves who summoned Tiamat."
"Do not remind me, Mr. Giles," he sighed. "Really." He walked off. "I'll lead you to the little dear."
"I can talk to the whole house if you prefer. That way she's not singled out."
"Miss Lovegood said she had nice hair to pull out. The others would probably help with that."
"I'll talk to them all. We did tend to get into some of the oddest and worst areas by studying." He smiled. "Before I have to summon Ethan?"
"Please do so, Mr. Giles. I'm sure it'll help them realize it's dumb." He walked off to hide those. Then report it to the Ministry. That girl was not going to be pleased.
Giles had the students gathered together to talk to them about how one had summoned some demons in the school, which did so warp the protections. When the aurors broke in to get that one girl, they were amused to see him but horrified as well. They realized who he was. A few looked around.
Giles smiled. "Ethan's in London being the high priest to Janus," he noted patiently. "We're talking about what happens when you summon such things as has happened in the past." He smiled at the kids, who all looked horrified.
"We did learn a lot. Not in the best possible way, but we did learn a lot. As at least one of you has been found doing the same thing, or at least following the same path, we've decided to let you know what happens, children. The one trying to steal beauty and energy, or create bees to attack people, is rather in a bit of trouble I'd assume." He looked at the aurors.
"Definitely," one of them agreed, nodding. "In a lot of trouble." They grabbed her, which made her housemates stare at her oddly, but walked her off to talk to her. Luna smiled and waved at them. "We'll tell her parents."
"Thank you for sparing me," McGonagall said. She looked in there at Giles, who smiled at her. "Oh. No wonder." She walked off.
"I can tell them myself if you wish," Giles offered.
"If you wish."
Giles walked over to call that parent's last name from the floo in there. "Oh, Madeline," he said with a smile. She went pale and looked like she had to sit down suddenly. "I was asked to come talk to the students because some were trying to summon demons. Mostly to steal beauty and things." He smiled at her. "They thought I might have a good viewpoint on that."
"Ripper," she said with a nod. "Was it mine?"
"Oh, the aurors have her, Maddy."
"I'm going to beat that child. I have a second one, she can die. Before the demon eats her. How bad?"
"Stealing beauty. Bees to attack. Not nearly as bad as Ethan was in our second year."
"Oh, charming. Have a good talk with the kiddies." She hung up and burst out swearing, which brought her husband running. She stared at him. "Ripper Giles just called." He went pale and grabbed a wall. "Our daughter was summoning demons to steal beauty."
"Is she alive?"
"Not when I get her from the aurors," she insisted.
"We have a second child," he said. "We can maybe have another?"
"Yes, we can try for that son now." She walked off to go to the Ministry. "Let me go talk to our first born." He nodded, going to talk to their younger child, who was ten, about such things so she knew not to go down the wrong path.
***
In London that night, Rupert knocked on a townhouse's door, his hand on a witch who was crying slightly. Ethan Rayne opened the door, staring at him. "She was summoning demons to steal beauty to be the most pretty and popular girl. Had bees set up to attack others. Was stealing magic." He gave her a nudge with a grin. "Her mother's Maddie and is very upset with her daughter. I saved her from being beaten to death but Maddie would like you to find her a path that won't lead to her death by her hand."
Ethan nodded. "We'll see if chaos adores her," he agreed, looking at the girl. "Are you going to survive, chit?"
She blinked at him. "Not if my mother finds me." She looked at Giles. "You're the one who ended my works."
"Yes I was. Before you did something tragic that would further remind people of when house elves summoned Tiamat to protect themselves."
Ethan sighed, then rubbed his head. "I've read a news story on that lot."
Ripper looked at him. "I have Alexander Dumass in my town."
"He's dead."
He grinned. "He was *cursed*. By Dumbles." Ethan groaned. "And linked." Ethan winced. "But he's very handy at times. Sometimes not so much...but he does back up Buffy very well."
"That one?" he demanded.
"Yes. Indeed." He nodded a bit. "Also, Severus has Willow to detox and straighten out."
"I'll check to see if he needs something from my version of the craft."
"No, he had to detox the black magic she went for to clear out the hellmouth taint." Ethan gripped the door frame, staring at him. "They had to shield classes when she was detoxed. I handed her over because the coven was told to kill her."
"I'll check with Severus tomorrow. Is this one his?"
"Ravenclaw. The same as we were." He grinned.
"Well, we do appreciate knowledge." He led her inside. "Do have fun, Rupert."
"I nearly prayed at Janus to save my patience the other day." He disappeared once he was out of sight.
Ethan got her calmed down and read her aura. There was a lot going on there. Typical teenage girl things mostly. Thankfully nothing too harmful yet.
***
Harry looked at Ron that night. "Why would you even try to steal beauty? It'd make you look weird."
Ron shrugged. "I'm not a girl. Ask Hermione?"
"She's not that sort of girl. She said so." He looked at Lavender. Who was shaking her head with a sigh. "Is that a thing you girls think about?"
"Some girls will do anything to be the best at things or the most popular, Harry. Plenty of us are real people who know who we are. Some...they're shallow." She grinned. "That one wants a lot and has no skills. She's not able to see that she was pretty. That boys liked her. She wanted to steal a few boyfriends though."
"Oh." He nodded. "I guess that figures somehow." He shrugged with a grimace. "I don't think I'll ever understand that."
"Us either but we know that people put a lot of pressure on girls to be perfectly pretty, perfectly dressed and coifed, have the right manicure, and to basically be the perfect doll. Yet still be strong enough to be a mother and wife."
Harry shook his head. "I just want one that likes me for who I am."
"So do most of us. It's really rare to find guys like that. And no, I'm not hinting, Harry."
"I know. If you had wanted me you would've made a move a few years back." He grinned.
"Definitely. You're adorable but I can't stand how much stuff gets piled on you even when you're not dealing with idiots on the dark side. Being a Dumass is hard."
"It can be. There's a lot of things to handle. That's why Xander broke up with Anya. She found out how much work being a matriarch was."
She nodded. "It can be. Handling a lot of things."
"Plus he's going to let the unicorns come back to the former home. So the matriarch would have to handle that."
She nodded. "Breeding records, handling health needs, all that stuff."
"He said he used to feed the orphaned foals."
"Awww. That had to be sweet." She grinned. "That's a lot of work though. Every two hours." He nodded. "Huh." She nodded. "He's cute too but busy and it's tough to be with someone who fights."
"It is," Hermione agreed as she came over. "McGonagall's stomping this way by the alarms." They grimaced but looked around. Nothing was going on. Their head of house stomped in. "Yes, ma'am?"
"Miss Granger, what is this?" she demanded, holding it up.
"I wondered where my menstrual cup went." She took it back. The older woman looked disturbed. "It's clean. I clean and sterilize it after each month, Professor."
"How does that even work?" Ron asked, staring at it.
Hermione squeezed it together carefully. "Then you insert it open side up. Once up there it pops open." She let it go. "Then it collects the blood for a few hours until I carefully grab it and pull it out to empty, clean, and then reinsert."
"That looks handy," Lavender said. "Is that plastic?"
"Silicone. It's very soft. You can touch it, I'll be sterilizing it again later because I have no idea where it was."
Lavender squeezed it. "Not too hard or firm. Huh. I've only read an article about them."
"It's more comfortable for me than a tampon can be." She put it into her bag before looking at the professor again. "Did they find my reusable pads as well?" The professor spluttered. "I know, they're pretty. That's why my mother encouraged me to try those. They're ecological but pretty. Hold a whole lot more than you'd think too. I can actually go a full eight hours with it on my heavy days."
McGonagall sighed, shaking her head. "No, I do not. I'll ask the elves."
"Please. Thank you, Professor." She smiled. The older woman left. Hermione took her bag upstairs to clean that and put up. She'd talk to the house elves in the morning.
Lavender looked at the boys. "At least you know so can't be grossed out by the natural function we all have."
Ron looked at her. "Yes I can."
"That means you're not ready to touch the area it comes from, Ron." He slumped. "We all have monthlies. Get over it!" She smiled but got up to go back to her books.
Ron looked at Harry. "Why are women like that?"
"Because men refuse to listen and understand," he said. "They've said that a few times, Ron. I learned."
"Oh." He grimaced, pouting about things. He looked around. "Did Neville elope?"
"They're in the greenhouse."
"Huh. Hope it's fun for them."
"Not that way," Hermione said as she came down the stairs. "They're working on their project. He's crossbreeding some roses." She settled down again. She and Lavender shared a look. Sometimes they wondered about Ron but he only had a sister and a mother around him. Someday they'd worry about his wife.
***
Xander showed up when Harry yelped in pain, staring at why. "Hi." He grinned and waved. "Howdy. How're you guys?" They stared at him. "Okay, let me be more stuffy and formal. Greetings, mortal enemies of mine. How be-ist you today? Are you planning something vile that will make my day to stop?" The vampires backed away, shaking their heads. "You know, if you really want to attack someone, go eat the death eaters." He pointed. "They're that way."
"We can do that," they decided and ran away.
Xander looked at Harry. "How did they get that close?"
"We had a girl who was summoning demons."
"Oh, that way." He nodded, going to fix that problem. He nodded at the headmaster. "Let me close the demonic hole in the webbing. Before more vampires show up. One was hitting on Harry outside with a few backing her up."
"Oh, dear Merlin," he muttered. "Why?"
"They wandered or Dru sent them," he quipped. He found the hole and fixed it, making the school almost sigh in pleasure. "There you go." He grinned. "I'm going to teach the boys how to find artifacts."
"Please do. I do not think a school needs such things in it."
"No, it doesn't and whoever did that, they suck." He walked off again. "I'll get Harry and Ron down to learn stuff."
"Thank you for the warning. Do you want Mr. Malfoy as well?"
Xander looked at him. "If he wants to come talk to me, he can do that. I'm not against that and I'll teach him how to sense artifacts too. You never know when you'll run into one in some houses." The headmaster went to tell him that so he showed up pouting.
"Do not remind me please. I met with someone who was a potential marriage partner this last weekend and her house was full of oddities. They collected them."
"Was she a Walbara?" Xander guessed. Draco grimaced but nodded. "Her family's like mine, full of cursebreakers. I have no idea where they land on the politics of light vs dark though. The last time I saw one, they were a baby being shown off after their mother got killed by a trap in a temple in South America."
"Mel is not bad," Draco said. Xander frowned, pulling out a picture to hold up. "Yes, that's her. Your grandchild?"
"My sister. The one who hangs with Justy."
"Ah. Okay then. I'll look into that." He patted him on the arm. "Going to find more nasty things? Most everyone else is in the Great Hall. It feels weird though so I avoided going."
"Yeah, I was going to." They went that way together. The demon holding people in there got a spell shot at it. He stared when it laughed. "Really? How in the hell did you even get in here?"
"I was invited." He smirked, walking over. He sniffed him. "Hellmouth." he smiled at him.
Xander punched him. "Yeah, I'm Xander fucking Harris." He smirked and hit him again.
"I was being peaceful!" He backed away from him.
"It's a school full of kids! Unless one invited you to be her new master, oh well! I can't let you harass the kids."
The demon pouted. "She invited me."
"Which one invited you?" Draco asked. "So we can talk to her ourselves. I think I want to mimic Granger and punch them."
The demon blinked at him then smiled. "You're adorable."
"I'm not for sale. Even an inch of me. A Malfoy is worth more than demon summoning. No matter what my father had done." The demon pouted, looking at Xander. Who was pulling a sword.
"Why do you have that?"
"I'm the same Xander that backs up Slayer Buffy." He grinned. "Want me to have an axe instead?"
"No. I really don't like swords and axes. They're dangerous."
"Well, yes they can be." He grinned and nodded. "Let's see, I need to cut off your horns, don't I?" The demon pulled his own blade but Xander's met it and he hit him.
"People, move," Draco ordered. "Someone try to chop off the horns?" He got out of the way of the fight. The demon bellowed when Xander got him in the stomach. Draco cast a cutting hex at the horns. He chipped one. "Those are hard to cut." Potter ran in. "He said to cut off the horns as far as he knows."
"Great." He cast a cutting hex at the demon itself. It screamed in anger at his balls being cut into. Xander grinned at Harry before getting a horn off. The demon screamed. Xander shrugged, making a try for the other one.
The demon lunged up and hit him. "I doubt it, human," he sneered. "Even if you are beloved of a slayer."
"Hell no! I'd never date Buffy! Eww! She dated Angel!" He was sore. Very sore. A bit injured. But yay. He switched his sword to an axe suddenly and went after the demon again.
"Oh, you are him," he said with a grimace of distaste. "Greatness."
"Yes I am." He cut him one-handed and used the free one to grab the other horn. The demon screamed as his head was wrenched around.
Willow rushed in. "Oooh, horn! Get the horn!" She cast at it, helping Xander rip it off. The demon passed out. Xander beheaded it. "Eww! There's kids, Xander!"
"I know that. They didn't run!" He panted, holding his sore arm. "Did you want me to leave him to try to indebt the kids?"
"No!" She came over to burn the parts. "There, that's better." She looked at him. "Shoot, you're injured. Dooty!"
He put his axe back to his sword then put it onto his back. "I'm fine. Just a few scratches." She glared at him. He stared back. "See, scratch." He showed his arm. "Just a scratch, Willow. People, this is Willow Rosenburg. She helps Slayer Buffy in Sunnydale as well. You can ask her about demon hunting if you want." A few kids came over to talk to her about that. It nicely distracted her from harassing Xander.
Draco looked at Xander. "Let's get you to the infirmary to get those sealed."
"Madam P is used to cursebreakers." He shrugged. "The bank contracts with her to heal all of us. We don't do well in hospitals. They may fall in when we're bored. But I'm okay." Draco grabbed his arm and forced him to walk off. "Hey! I was going to teach the boys."
"Granger, help me haul him," he ordered. "He's stubborn."
"I'm fine. Really, I'm okay, Draco. You don't have to fuss."
"For some reason I feel like I should so I am!" He glared at him. "I have no idea why but I'm doing it on instinct." Hermione came to help him haul Xander up to the infirmary. She asked him questions on the way to distract him.
The headmaster huffed. "Must we do that?"
"The bank does contract with Madam P to treat us," Xander quipped. "But I'm really fine. Just a few scratches."
Hermione pulled his t-shirt off him, blushing at what she saw. "Scratches? Really?" He stared at her. She smiled, handing him his t-shirt. "I can petrify you for a few minutes. March!"
"You're not even a redhead," he complained.
She snorted. "Nor am I like that one. I just have sense." They forced Xander to keep going up to the infirmary, making the mediwitch huff in irritation. "There was a demon holding the Great Hall hostage with a lot of kids in it," she reported. "He fought it."
"I can see that. Thank you, children." They nodded, leaving them alone.
Hermione looked at Draco on the way back down. He was becoming more tolerable and reasonable more often to her way of thinking. "Do you realize we've had a lot of demon things happening this year?"
He paused to consider it then nodded. "We have. That is odd."
"Do you think it's the headmaster's fault?"
Draco shrugged. "Maybe. Would it matter?"
"Not at the moment. He hasn't tortured us, he hasn't tried to marry anyone off against their wills. I'll accept some light demon summoning instead of what he replaced."
Draco nodded. "Good point. I can probably stand that for the rest of the time I'm here. But I'll talk to someone on the school board." They went to check on their houses. He couldn't believe he was having intelligent conversations with Hermione Granger but it was interesting how she thought. Her mind worked in ways his appreciated. Maybe, just possibly, there were a few good mudbloods out there. Somehow. She definitely wasn't the stereotype. Or a normal girl.
***
Story notes:
The last of your thanksgiving stories for this year.