A Meeting of the Fabulous Minds.
Young chaosy GHS Xander bounced through the convention realm portal. "It worked! I managed to get free without having to hormone anyone and without having to destroy their icky penis statement manor house," he cheered, bouncing into one to hug. "Oooh, sorry. Thought this was for the convention realm," he told the other younger him. That younger him was probably younger than him by a few years, so late teens.
"You did. He's just now been found," older, Miami GHS Xander said, pulling him over to hug. "How did you do that?"
"The twins and I came up with a GHS belt," he said with a grin, showing it off. "Though Natasha said I'm no longer allowed to make explosives. She got a bit freaked out when I was mixing them in a containment bubble that was floating." He grinned at the new Xander, and an older Xander he hadn't met. "New ones?"
"Dumass walked into their realms by accident thanks to a temple cursebreaking job," Miami GHS Xander said dryly. "This is Princess Xander. His people have a name curse so he's a named princess even though I'm more of one than he is." That Xander smirked at him for it. "I am. I'm fully a spoiled GHS princess, who just happens to kick ass." He pointed at the other one. "This is really tired us. Apparently he tripped a portal by accident and fell into a realm. Unlike traveling Xander he found one he liked and stayed to learn from them. He's a master swords smith."
"I need to learn more from you," Chaosy GHS Xander said. "I've got my forge and stuff at home in the basement."
"I live in New York City."
"Ah. That makes more sense. I won't even make the old taco sauce joke." The kid hugged him. "I'm fine. Go get cuddly with others."
He bounded off to talk to the sets of twins that were going over what they had found out during the realm merge. Alex hugged him. "Should I bring a battle nymph and my puppies?"
"Go ahead. We could use the puppies to help the Der army," Alex quipped. "They're here and their two Xanders are sleeping it off." Xander went back to get his two dogs, his nymphs, and ignored Uncle Phil talking to his self in that realm for a bit. They had Coulson stuff to talk about. The army of Der gathered around the battle and garden nymphs. "Nifa's still at home?" Alex asked.
"Yup. Sleeping on Clint's shoulder. He's even gotten her shoes. She really likes him."
"That's good. She's a good battle nymph." They let the Ders figure out how to get the nymphs to help them, and they were more than happy to go harvest things to bring for dinner. The Ders cooked, the nymphs delivered, and fussed over people, and the dogs got played with by the baby Xanders and their kids. It was going to be a great convention. They hoped.
Young GHS Xander wiggled over to the two new ones, grinning at them. "It's all a huge cuddle pile if you guys want to join in."
"We were just talking."
"Weapons? We all like weapons. A few of us even design weapons." He grinned and pointed at that set of twins. "They do. I'm pretty sure the twins that look like steampunk loving guys do too sometimes. They had to regrow up on a steampunk kinda world after Willow nearly killed us."
"That's so weird."
"One's a doc, one's an engineer." Young Xander grinned. "They're neat and they love my puppies too. They wanted a few of the nymphs to help them around the home office too."
"They do look handy," older, weapons smith Xander agreed. One flew over to land on his head to stare down at him. "They're clearly curious."
Young Xander grinned. "She's a great help in my garden. They harvest, carry, and help me plant. Plus fuss over some of the exotic plants traveling Xander helped me put in." He pointed at him. "He accidentally traveled around space and time."
"I thought me falling through a portal was weird," weapons smith Xander quipped with a grin.
"It is," young Xander shot back, smirking at him. "But we're all a bit weird. Some of us have hormones. Some of us have traveling. Some of us have both." He pointed at Miami GHS Xander. "He's been there and done all that a lot. Then destroyed the ones that wanted to keep him."
Princess Xander shook his head. "Makes being the son of a warlord seem pretty normal." Young Xander hugged him. "Thanks."
"You need hugs. Hugs make us go a bit more normal for a while. Just think, some day you'll have a good prince or princess. You might even end up ruling people."
Princess Xander nodded. "Definitely. Soon if possible. I need to make plans."
"We're mostly good at that," weaponsmith Xander said. They got together over his plans. They could make great plans to help him beat the drunken warlord that was pretending to be a human being. The others came over to join in as they woke up. They could all help the young one become the best princess ever. A few could even help him dress like one if he wanted.
Godly Phil Coulson looked at the slightly open portal then at this realm's version of himself. "Personally, I think all the spouses of Xander and all his boyfriends should hold their own convention about ways to get him calmed down. Mine is helping Comic book store owning Xander rant over the 'new' versions of old universes." He rolled his eyes. "They've come in handy a few times but still."
"I saw them come in handy during the realm merge," that Phil said. "Have they come in handy other times?"
"In our world, yes. That's how we found out about Thanos before he showed up." He grimaced. "That was not a good battle by any definition." A man wearing a well fitted dress shirt, jeans, and sneakers came through the portal shaking his head. "Did your husband join in on the squee fest with mine?"
"He just got a call threatening to recall him to his duty if the aliens showed up being harmful." He flopped down with a disgruntled sigh. "I do not want to inhabit any address in DC, much less *that* one."
"What does your Xander do?" that realm's Phil asked.
"He was the president before Samuel," Ezra said dryly, smirking a bit. "I was his nicely dressed bodyguard before we got together. ATF got blindsided to give us as his guards because he actually followed directions from us." Godly Phil laughed, nodding some. "Apparently the Secret Service wasn't used to strong willed former soldiers like him, O'Neill, or Sheppard." He looked up then shook his head before looking at them. "I can see the fit if they recall him somehow."
"He's not running, how could they?" the regular Phil asked.
"Our world had a...let's call it a problem with a demon clan wanting peaceful relations. They decided the only way to do so was to eliminate all members of any governing body that could promote war. Of course, in the US, the Pentagon stepped in to take over control so they could start over with new elections. General O'Neill, which you may not have met, got appointed temporary president. Then the *generous* people started off with 'the general will make us feel safer than anyone else, and he doesn't play politics' ads. He never ran a day in his life but he got elected president. Twice.
"Then his VP got elected. Colonel Sheppard was not pleased either, especially when they picked my Xander to be his VP because my Xander kept saving him during battles. They were *certain* Xander would protect them from everything Sheppard couldn't. They were correct but it is very tiring to be there. Xander sometimes handed the fighting ones crayons as a sign they were acting like children." Godly Phil Coulson burst out laughing. "Yes, it's probably the same for the gods on your realm."
"Often. I need to do that." He grinned at his counterpart. "They elected Xander the same way, with a write-in campaign that worked based on him being protective. They got another hunter?"
"Samuel, yes. Him and Dawn, and their many heathens who do love good stories." He smirked. "It got bad after Xander and I married around midterm elections but we put up with the protests and all that. Not like he wanted it. Evan would've skinned him if he had abdicated so he had to keep it for a bit." He shifted to cross his feet. "Now we're rightly free and they're threatening to bring us back. I will soundly hurt a great many people should that happen."
"It still might not keep him out of office," Godly Phil pointed out with a smile. "They could get him because he kept you from doing that."
"Don't suggest that. I don't want them to send us to any other area."
"Fine. Hopefully you can get past that nasty outcome."
"I do hope so as well." He shook his head, looking at the squealing portal. Then at the other two. "I don't believe it's safe to go back yet. The children are awake."
"The others have children?" that realm's Phil asked.
They both nodded. "A few do," Godly Phil said. "Yours can't. The healing stuff rends him infertile. He might adopt though. The others like him are great at adopting people into the family."
"Can he adopt a bodyguard?"
Ezra smiled. "One of them adopted a whole commando team. He still gets taken, but he does manage to be charming while destroying them."
"Agent Crill won't be that amused then. He was hoping that they'd somehow get his hormones calmed down."
"Even with two lovers and a pair of part-timers, the one in Miami still hasn't calmed down," Ezra sighed.
Godly Phil shook his head. "They broke up. Xander's been traveling with some helpful people." He grinned. "Including Wade."
"Wade might be a good minion for him, but I'm not sure about the one here," Ezra said.
"I heard about him. He's dead thanks to Clint," the local Phil said. "Otherwise I'd let my Xander brainwash him." They grinned at him. "I'm sure he can." The other two nodded. "What are we going to do without SHIELD?"
"No clue," Godly Phil admitted. "Mine's version of HYDRA got stopped when they started to raise an ugly head. Mostly by Dawn splitting it but not cutting the head off. A lot of others couldn't get things back together so they got picked up once she told Maria Hill. I had no idea about any of that until a few months ago when we heard about the Ultron problem."
"Months?" the local Phil complained. "You could have warned us."
"Then things would've gotten worse. Stark did the math."
"Oh." He grimaced but let it clear up. "There's that neighbor who hates anything not her style."
Ezra got up, going to answer the door. "Yes, ma'am? Are you here to bother my nephew?" He adjusted his badge. Her eyes went wide. He smiled. "Yes, I'm here to teach my poor nephew how to make things to protect himself further." She ran off. He looked at the odd looking mailbox. "May I have it please?" It let him take the mail once it had scanned his ID card. "Thank you." He brought it inside. Phil took it to look through, tossing out the junk mail. "You do good helping him."
"If I can't go back to work, I'm thinking about starting a security company for special, quiet people. Including the young one that I'm living with. Yes, Flora?" The nymph rubbed his cheek with hers then handed over the basket of fruit. "Thank you, dear." She grinned and waved before flying off. "I'm wondering if he forgot her."
Ezra looked. "She's shaking her head. There's another?"
"That's probably Fauna. There's also Nifa, who is Clint's special battle nymph friend, and Natura. She's the third of the four garden nymphs."
Ezra smiled. "They're charming helpers."
"They are." He looked in the basket, putting it on the table so they could all nibble from it. "I think it's getting near harvest time so canning time." He leaned his head back. "Fauna, if you need him to can tomorrow, go tell him?" he called. She zipped past with a pat on his head for him. "I like you ladies too. You're always very nice to me." The girls giggled, going back to their picking duties. A few Xanders came in to gather the baskets of fruit and vegetables, taking them back to the portal realm to cook them down there.
Xander hauled over the cases of jars and lids. They settled in to can things for later use, mostly by the other Xanders. The one canning had plenty of food, even with donating to the twins and others. The spouses all gathered in that Xander's living room to chat without help. Though one of the kids snuck through to nap on her daddy. Frodo rolled in to gather that kid, taking her back to nap with the other kids in the tardis wardrobe. That helped, and let the husbands and boyfriends relax for once.
"Guys, we have an important note," the twins that GHS Xander had visited announced after breakfast and the mandatory waking up time. Everyone stared at them.
Alex grimaced. "HYDRA got hold of the GHS making shot's notes. They were planning on making some to discredit people and to make them loyal to them."
His twin Xander nodded. "They destroyed most of it but you know they've still got ideas. They were into the mystical too so there's no telling if they can find a way to scry each other to nark."
Young chaos GHS Xander grimaced. "I've got the various herbs growing and a copy of the information packet. So does SHIELD since one of them popped up after being exposed to mine."
"That's so freaky," Alex said with a grin. "They're cute trying to hide Fury's condition." Chaos GHS Xander smirked back. "Did you teach him the dances?"
"I offered. He refused. Natasha's still learning."
"Which is a really hot thought," another Xander moaned, leaning on his spouse's shoulder.
Chaos GHS Xander grinned back at him. "Kinda but I'd never hit on her. She thinks she's not my type." He looked at writer Xander, who smirked back. "I asked her to see if Peter's in my world. He's not. I was going to see if he was nice in mine too."
"He's very nice," writer Xander said with a grin. "But that's a shame. Maybe another agent?"
"I almost brought home a few minions but they didn't want to be loyal to me in then right way." He bounced around a bit, then curled up. "I could use some nice minions who liked sex."
"Yes you could," Miami GHS Xander said with a grin. "I'd loan you some but...." He shrugged. "I'm still getting into trouble. They *so* try to keep me from getting into trouble. Wade's locked himself in the house again. I have no idea what I should be doing to stay out of trouble since the last time I just went grocery shopping at the farmer's market."
Chaos GHS Xander leaned over to hug him. "I did that too. They took me because I was looking at squashes. Apparently that looked like a fun toy to them." They cuddled together.
"I'm having a talk with your Phil," Godly Phil said from the portal. "That way we find you someone to watch your back."
"Okay. Thank you, Uncle Phil. If you find some of the minions I wouldn't mind."
"I would," he countered. "You need better than that." He went back to talk to that Phil, and Clint since he was back playing fetch with Samwise. They had film of what happened in DC. Godly Phil was not amused but that realm's Phil was making a list of better options for minions. That Xander really needed a lot more help than Clint could give him. And a bigger house somehow to house them.
"Can we get with that one Xander's minions and helpful sorts so we can figure out all that ours needs?" Clint asked. "It'd be a lot easier if we had a list."
Godly Phil nodded, sending a note in to that Xander to see if he could hang around with his helpers for a day. He was probably as bored as theirs was.
Clay looked around at the bright light that let the team out at a nice looking living room. "Did you kidnap us?" he asked the Clint Barton sitting on the couch with two robotic dogs. Clint grinned but pointed at the portal. "Needed saved?"
"We're holding a conference of Xanders and then one with another Xander with ours hormone problem, and his versions of you so they can give us ideas on how to help him."
"Before we let him make minions," Phil said as he came out of his room doing up his shirt. He walked over to the portal, tapping on it gently with his knuckles. A Xander leaned out with a grin. "The team is here if the other one is ready."
"They'll be here in about an hour." He looked at the team, extending an arm to wave with his grin. "Want some fruit stuff, guys? We just canned most of this Xander's garden area." He disappeared and came back with food for them. "Here, eat. It'll be about an hour." He disappeared again.
Clint looked at his handler. "What about putting Crill over them?"
"He's a good handler but doesn't do field work very well," Phil said, sitting down. "Which is why he was so good handling Xander's emergencies." The team sat down to eat. "There's water, coffee, juice, and tea leaves in the kitchen if you want some, guys." Jensen took his fruit cocktail salad and lasagna with him to get them all waters. Pooch grunted in thanks, lifting his chin. He choked when a familiar figure came out of the portal shaking his head. "Wade," Phil said. "You look disgruntled."
"Ours stepped through for all of thirty seconds and a demon took him. He's presently taking the demon guts out of his hair." He rolled his eyes. He looked back there. "Clay, your selves from here are horrified I'm still magnificent," he called.
The team and the other three GHS Xanders came with them. They settled around with the fruit stuff that the young Xander brought with him. That Xander curled up on the floor against Clint's legs, getting a mild kick for it. "You have my dogs," he said with a shrug. "It's there or your lap." Clint curled up to let Xander have the front of the couch to lean against and Frodo to pet. Xander grinned at Agent Crill as he walked in. "You made it through the apocalypse!" he cheered.
"Barely. I had some of the building fall on my office." He settled onto a stool he pulled in from the kitchen. He looked at both version of the commando team then at Wade. "I remember you showing up before to help him."
"It helped," younger Xander said, grinning at Wade. "I'm still being taken all the time though."
"You and mine both need a long-term live in sex toy," Wade said. "Maybe I'll buy mine one."
"Eww, prostitutes," Xander complained.
"Point," Wade sighed. He adjusted his jacket, looking at the other team. He shrugged. "Mine's newly single, has destroyed forty-nine realms as of last week, and they still take him. It was better when he had lovers."
"I could use some of those. I nearly made a few of the HYDRA guys into minions," younger Xander said, grinning at Crill.
"No way in hell they're worthy to even drool on you," Crill said.
"They could've held off the big problems, like the neighbor lady who keeps trying to have me arrested for not being her kind." He pointed at the window. The trio of other GHS Xanders all stood up to wave at her. She glared and took a picture. Thankfully two of those Xanders had magic so the camera was shattered. She stomped off again already on her phone to call that in. "I think she really needs help," Chaos GHS Xander quipped. "A lot of help."
"Or to move," Crill agreed. They all saw the headlights rushing toward their window. "You have protections, right?"
"Yup. Frodo, it's the bad lady's car!" he yelled. Protections turned on all around the house just before she hit them, which destroyed her car for her. Xander called it in, sighing when it was answered. "Hi, 911? My neighbor, who makes a lot of crank calls to you guys, just tried to ram my house with her car. Can someone come get her and put her out of everyone's misery? I have no idea if she's okay, ma'am. I'm not going to check on her because she'll try to blame me for it somehow. I brought over mail I shouldn't have gotten and she threw a hissy fit for being a good neighbor.
"Yes, that's my address. I'm presently here with a few relatives. Oh, she's out of the car and wobbling but swearing at my house now. Please come get her before I feel threatened? Thank you." He hung up. "Maybe they'll keep her this time." They got to watch police show up and her yell. Then an officer came to the house.
"Sir, she said you attacked her car?" the officer said. "That's not exactly legal."
Xander stared at him. "She was going to hit my house with her car. All I did was put up a shield that she ran into. If protecting myself is that wrong, fuck you," he said bluntly, staring at him. "And her. She's tried to bomb me, she's taken pictures inside my house on purpose to try to incite others to kill me, she's sneered at my guests and relatives. She's sent me small explosives. She's tried to spray paint my house. She tried to get a neighbor's car towed for not being her sort of car in her neighborhood.
"She's tried to shoot me once but didn't realize it was a pellet gun and I nearly put her out of my misery then. So you handle the wacky bitch before *I* handle the wacky bitch that tried to drive into my house." The officer was glaring. Xander opened the mailbox, pulling out something. "By the way, she sent this last week. It's disarmed." He handed it over then slammed the door. "I'm not nice, I'm not pleasant, and I'll be damned." He stomped off to his work area.
Crill got up to go talk to the officer, pulling up the harassment file they had. "This is what SHIELD had about her harassment of this resident, Officer." He let him see it. "I was in the living room when she tried to ram the house with her car." The woman was screaming as she was being arrested by a local officer. "I believe that officer has had to answer calls for her before," he said with a point. "We've seen him a few times when she tried something."
The officer stomped over there to talk to that one, who agreed and noted that they didn't have all the harassment claims. He called their desk sergeant to have him pull up the files. They both listened to the listing of them. The officer who was used to her told him what she had done. Her ID pulled up as a suspended license. So she got arrested on two charges and the officer that had upset Xander apologized to Agent Crill after handing back the tablet.
Crill came back in, finding the Xanders were down calming down their younger self. "The officer understands now." He sat back down, looking at Wade. "Does yours have that problem?"
"The occasional gay bashing officer who hates that he makes precincts lunch," Wade said dryly. "The feeling of everyone is 'then don't eat it'." He shrugged. "Everyone blames the commissioner and the labs down there for their relationship breaking up instead of any of the guys." Crill nodded.
Godly Phil smiled. "From what I've heard, it wasn't just their work schedules." Wade shook his head with a grimace. So did Jensen and Cougar. "How closely does your team work with them, Jensen?"
"Xander and I are best friends," he said with a grin. "We're trouble buddies. He and Anya, Wade's girlfriend, get into other sorts of trouble, like belly dancing lessons together." Wade grimaced but nodded at that. "At least it was a good present," he reminded him.
"It was a great present. It still is," he agreed smugly. "Why didn't you do that with him?"
"I took more salsa dancing lessons for sword footwork with him," Jensen said smugly. "Some day I'll make some woman a fussy husband."
Cougar looked down the couch at him. "Take Xander," he said in Spanish.
Jensen grinned. "It's fun but I work too much too."
"He definitely needs someone who can travel with him," Clay said. "We had high hopes for Benji and Aaron but they had to go back on duty after helping Xander clear up their files. They run through now and then."
The local Phil stared at them. "Why?"
"They're good together but they're spies," Godly Phil said. "That Xander was in our realm and met the ones in our realm then went to find them in his own." Wade groaned but nodded, looking down. "He was perfectly safe and the goat is still adorable. Dangerous but adorable."
"What goat?" the local Phil asked.
Godly Phil pulled up footage of the baby goat. "It was just under a year old here." He let his other self and Crill see it. Clint watched over his Phil's shoulder, shaking his head slowly.
Jensen snickered. "For his initiation a gang kid gathered one of the adult breeding pair our Xander was gifted. He released it into a political debate." He grinned at them. "They were not amused. One's still limping from his lack of thigh and the other one's missing a few fingers. They couldn't make the goat puke fast enough to save them."
"They're carnivorous?" Crill asked.
"They. Eat. Everything," Clay said with a small smirk. "If they can fit part of it in their mouth, it's eaten. But chocolate does calm it down, makes it a bit mildly hallucinate so it's easier handled."
"It eats electrified fences," Pooch said. "Cars. Cats. Squirrels. Poker buddies. Politicians." Jensen burst out laughing. "Gang kids with the flying monkey thanks to Speed."
"You guys have flying monkeys?" Clint asked.
"They're demonic," Cougar said, shaking his head with a sigh. Jensen pulled it up to show them. "Are they local?"
"Yeah, there's a shop listed locally." They shared a grin. "I should give the neighbor a pretty present."
"That's mean," the local Phil Coulson said without looking up. "Oh, dear. Some starlette or PETA member will want one. They'd go with their clothes."
Clint nudged him with his elbow, grinning. "Stark."
"I'm not sure if he'd know what to do with a pet but perhaps Dr. Banner's other self would like a pet. They could probably get along." He rubbed over his eyebrow, handing the phone back.
Crill grinned. "HYDRA meeting?"
"Don't tempt me," Clint said with an evil look at him.
"It's bulletproof," Pooch said with a grin for them. "Can only be killed by blessed rounds to the chest. Anya's got some kevlar for whenever the lab needs to borrow it for flushing hiding people out. She's done some obedience training with the thing."
Wade nodded. "I hate the monkey but it's useful. I know a lot of places I'd like to introduce them to."
His Xander came halfway up the stairs. "Anya said if you go back to do those things she's going to leave you and steal everything you've ever owned while leaving the little Wade monkey for a few days to eat you for her pouting self. I talked her down. Again." He gave him a look. "You're pushing her back into bad idea and vengeance demon land. Do you really want that?" He went back downstairs.
Wade shook his head. "No I don't. She was...meaner than I ever could be. I was so disgusted by some of her favorite things she did to guys like Clay." He shifted, shaking his head again. "It's sad that she's not employed now."
"She couldn't have as much sex when she was a demon," his Xander called. "It's why she was so frantic to get it."
Wade nodded. "I can see that."
"How is rationing her going?" Jensen asked with a grin.
Wade snorted. "She hasn't tried to kill me in a few days and she's realized yet again that there's more to life than sex. So I'm probably going to come home to new bags of clothes she can't have. I'll have fun making her take it back."
"She won something that gave her a shopping gift certificate," Xander called. "To a jewelry store." Wade moaned, checking his wallet. He came back up the stairs to the doorway. "Also, we had a 'fuck you' conversation about how anything I make isn't like *real* jewelry again." He got them something to drink then went back downstairs.
"I'm so sorry for you, man," Jensen said, smirking evilly at Wade. "I wish you much luck."
"Clay, put a muzzle on your boy."
"Jensen, don't pick on the psycho, he might try to cook you or something," Clay complained.
They were all blinded by a bright flash of light. When they could see again, Wade got up to check the Xanders. "Gone," he called.
"Losers, fall out to save the hair," Miami Xander's Clay ordered. "I know he's got weapons if we're short." They ran down to get some and went to rescue all four GHS Xanders.
"GHS conventions don't even have problems like this," Pooch complained as they headed for SUV's sitting outside. The SHIELD agents could complain a lot about that commandeering.
Jensen grinned at him. "I liked how Xander and a few others stopped the last attempted kidnaping at one by bellydancing."
"Don't. Remind. Me," Cougar ordered.
"Like a lot of Xander plans, it was freaky but it worked," Clay said, stopping the argument.
Coulson shook his head, looking at Crill. "We need to get ours trained in strategy so he can make good plans for when he has to go out." They got in as well to help solve this problem. One Xander had too many problems. Four GHS Xanders had *way* too many problems that not even an army of goblins could solve.
The end of the Xander convention was more of a slow fade. There were still plenty staying there to talk. Including President Xander hiding from people who wanted him to retake the white house. He was helping Princess Xander with a few ideas for when he had to take over. The poor guy had to do a lot of things in a very quick time. Maybe that princess academy place would give him some good contacts to help him further. It couldn't be worse than Congress, right?
"No!" young Chaos GHS Xander complained loudly. "One of the SHIELD idiots decided I should go *offer* myself to some rich guy as a concubine. Seriously! Even if I was into that sort of thing, and I'm clearly not since I keep having to get away from those sort, I doubt they'd want me as much if I'm *willing* and I had to point this out to him at sword point because the idiot tried to slap me on the ass like I'm his ho!" The other three cuddled him. "Then he complained when I got him down and out, then tied up, because I was *mean* to him."
"Didn't that one Phil say something to him?"
"He gave him a look that made him wet himself. I personally looked down at him and said if he was HYDRA I'd be cutting that tiny water hose of his off because I'd seen enough of them. He swore he wasn't but Phil glared and he stuttered to a stop. I cast that truth spell you guys taught me but he wouldn't break under it. He broke when Clint showed up," he pouted. "I need good minions. Or at least friends. And they finally kept that neighbor lady! She's staying in jail. The DA gave over a list of all the times she had called in stupid things and false reports. The judge gave her 90 days and mandatory psych evals. Hopefully with meds."
"We can all hope she gets them," Miami Xander agreed.
The one that lived with the Winchesters nodded. "I have family to help me with that. And dogs. They're trained to hunt demons so they can help when they show up to kidnap me."
"I'm just tired of the ones that're courting me," Miami Xander said.
"Methos scared those off for me," the original GHS Xander said with a grin. "Him and his Ray snuggly are very good at it."
"I almost called down the wrath of a god on the last one of mine. I figured they'd have fun with them," Miami Xander quipped.
Godly Xander looked over, grinning at him. "I can possibly see that...."
"If it's going to make the other Gods act like President you's congress, no," his mate Phil called from where he was talking to the kids.
"Fine. There's a few that could be revived and sent over there."
Phil stared at him. "If it would make them act like toddlers on a hissy fit, no, Xander. We don't need the interruption or we'll never get a vacation this year. Remember, we were going to a beach with the kids?"
"Oh, yeah. Huh." He considered it. "I doubt they would. They might pout if I make him stay over there. Maybe make them have to be a bit crafty to get him regodded." He considered it. Outside the portal at their house, thunder started. "Hmm, I think Thor has heartburn, or his wife's pregnant and he's got her morning sickness again." He leaned out his portal. "Thor okay?"
"That was Gaia, who was mad you were even thinking about sending him over there. They could be plenty sneaky."
"He could liaison with the ones that Xander's an anchor for." He grinned. "Including his other self." He grinned. "They could prove how sneaky they are and maybe save that Xander some work."
"Is that the GHS one with the hair?" Jensen asked.
Jensen looked at Clay. "If you're even considering helping, it's a horrible idea," Roque said firmly. "You are not allowed to fuck or orally molest the crack idea fairy. Never again, Jensen."
"Fine." He grinned at Xander. Jensen sent a text message to the phone Gaia had gotten from Phil for emergency contacts. She sent back a all caps 'NOOOOOO'. He sent back a further explanation. She showed up and stomped through that portal to go 'talk' to that boy. She was stopped from ranting by four GHS Xanders getting cuddly around her for being so great of a goddess. It made her much less angry and she could see why Xander had wanted to move their Strife there. With their problems, she could definitely see chaining a God to them to solve them. The other Xanders were going to let the four GHS Xanders work on Mother Nature. She needed more cuddles in her life. The kids even came over to help them cuddle. She cooed over them all.
Godly Xander grinned at Phil then went to make some tea. Gaia loved tea.
They'd all get together again soon and it'd be just as insane as all the Xanders together could be.
A Meeting of the Fabulous Minds.