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Twins?!? Twins Part Duex!

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Notes: the list asked. A lot.

Twins?!? Twins Part Duex!

A commando on assignment looked at his official phone as it rang with a frown. It had been turned off, as was protocol. He swiped a finger to answer the call, frowning even worse at the video that came through. There went his data allotment this month. "You," he said bluntly. "How did you do this?"

"Don't ask," the man with the eyepatch said with a smile. "It's nice that you've got a semi-real job now, and I'm not talking about the one you're presently doing, though it's a bit futile at the moment. Jorge is dead, has been for two weeks. But beyond that happy news, since he tried to kidnap my twin, I need to talk to a senior agent in your new agency, Finn." He grinned. "You may not mention this talk or that fact to a single slayer. Ever. I don't want to hear the bitching and it'll just cause a *lot* of problems if they hear that I'm requesting a *senior* agent to come talk to us."

"Us?" he asked.

"Yes, us." He smirked a tiny bit. "It's a long talk, you're not cleared for it, but needless to say it's worse than Thanksgiving was."

Riley Finn winced. "I hate that incident being mentioned." He looked at his team. "I can ask for a meeting. Where are you and the mythical twin?"

"Dumara. They...well, something happened and we don't really want to be here but..." He waved a hand and hung up.

Riley Finn called his boss. "Sir, I just got a priority request for a meeting in Africa with someone who I'm not allowed to name up front but who I worked beside at one point in time, after I turned evidence." He listened. "Yes, one of them but they have stated we may not tell the slayers anything until they meet with a senior official. Well, they're presently living in a warlord's compound," he said dryly. "I'm not sure why, sir, but apparently they happened into it. Yeah, they did. They turned on my phone to request the meeting and asked for a senior official.

"Thank you. Dumara. They also said my target has been dead for two weeks thanks to going against them somehow and trying to kidnap one of the twins. Yes, sir, them." He smirked a bit. His boss had read the dossiers he had made, which were a lot more factual than the former Initiative program's dossiers. "They are, sir. No, it came through as a video message and did not leave a phone number but they did say they were in Dumara. Thank you, sir." He hung up and turned off his phone again, rejoining his team. "We got told that our target is dead. Let's make sure of that." They nodded, heading into the local town to listen to gossip and ask the local law enforcement group.


The senior agent got out of the jeep and straightened out his button up shirt as he walked toward the gates of the compound. It was only forty-eight hours after the request had come through. You didn't keep people who defended the world waiting when they asked for a *quiet* meeting. It was probably about something horrible coming up that they didn't want to get out. A woman looked out so he pulled out his ID case to flash. "I was asked to come talk to the Harris twins?" he said quietly and calmly.

She opened the gate and motioned. She closed it behind him and led him around a side path to the office area that was just off a pool. He nodded at the twin sitting out there. He got up to follow him into the office, where his twin was sighing in disbelief while on the phone. "Xander?" she said in the local language. He smiled at her. She pointed. "Your meeting." She left them alone, leaving the door open for air flow.

Xander looked at the phone. "Buffy, gotta go. Local confab about supplies and stuff." He hung up and unplugged the phone then looked at him. "The former owner of this place nicely died after kidnaping me. Wasn't even my doing, he had a heart attack when my twin showed up to rescue me. He thought twins were evil." He smirked a tiny bit. "My evil twin Alex had just rescued himself from the guy that Riley Finn had been looking for. We paid him back for that two weeks ago."

"That's good to know." He sat down. "You kept his staff intact?"

"Yes. Otherwise they'd be killed by the locals," Alex said, sitting on the edge of the desk. "They're nice people who he bought. They don't deserve that. We're working on fixing that but it's more complicated thanks to local beliefs."

"No, they don't deserve that sort of life. We can help you find a way to move them to another country for their own safety."

"Three huge problems with that," Xander said, leaning back and adjusting his eyepatch. "One, the two slayers we've been working with most recently have decided that being a slayer makes them evil so they're denouncing us and themselves." The agent nodded. "Which has made a huge problem with us among some of our contacts and they've nicely joined a few...fundamentalist groups in decrying us." The agent winced but nodded once. "Second," he said, looking at his twin.

"I've had to take out six different people for trying to own my ass," Alex said. Then he smirked a tiny bit. "I kinda did some of your work for you. Which does dovetail with the first problem as one of them was a regional warlord. Not this one, but one of them." He pulled up the file to show him.

The agent read them over, wincing at some of the names and scratching his eyebrow. "That's bad." He looked at them. "Why?"

"Because we had to. They didn't like white guys coming in to help their girls be slayers," Xander said. "The old Council used to lose watchers down here within days. We've lasted for six years." The agent nodded. "Because we watch each other's backs, we have contacts we can talk to when we need help, and because there's been six huge battles that we've been spotted in. Even Boko Haram doesn't want to fall to a demon battle. Though they hate us like hell."

Alex nodded. "We managed to buy a few of their female hostages from them and sent them home to heal. They think we're evil."

The senior Homeland agent nodded once. "I can see how that's been a huge problem. What's the third one?"

"We've had to design our own weapons while cobbling things together," Alex said with a happy grin. He clicked a remote to pull down the weapons cabinets. "From cobbling together huger guns to speciality guns to lasers to minor artillery." The agent was now looking horrified. Both twins nodded. "We can't realistically stay down here without staying a warlord."

"Which we really don't want to do, if only because the slayers will bitch," Xander said. "Which is why we called for a *senior* agent."

He got up to look at the weapons, taking one of them outside to test on a tree. It blew up the tree and knocked him on his ass. He got up and came back in, carefully putting it on the board before turning to look at them. "Okay, so what do you want to do?"

"We don't know," Alex said. "We're not against being evacuated but we need to protect those ones. Three of them can't be moved from the country outside of covert means because their families have put out death orders for leaving their confinement. They consider it dishonorable."

"Which means we'd have to move us, four women, five or six kids. One's in school and may want to stay. We're not moving back to Cleveland," Xander said.

"No, I don't think that's a great idea either," the agent said. "We'd really like Cleveland to shut down to reduce the amount of damage battles cause." He shifted in his seat. "Okay, so you guys need an exit strategy." They nodded. "With your current protectees." They nodded again. "How do you plan on setting up?"

"We're not sure if someone would maybe like to buy a few of those modifications," Xander said. "We're not going to ask around here."

"No, thank you for that. We'll... Let me call my boss?"

"Bathroom?" Alex said with a point. "Totally private. Not even windows. If you need it, I'll have you added to dinner. We're having sheep burgers I think."

"Thanks." He went into the bathroom, locked himself in, and called his boss. "There's a really good reason why they needed a senior agent, sir." The director took over the call. "Sir, Senior Supervisory Agent Kevers." He listened. "Yes I am. They have, by accident. He had a heart attack when one of the twins had to come save the other. They've so far protected some of his people that needed it but they're rather trapped thanks to some of the groups we worry about." He listened. "That's what they need, yes, sir. Though they're wise to keep it from the slayers. They will nag at the very least from what I know of them. That's what we're wondering." He went over what they had said and shown him, plus the new weapons. That could be very handy in some agencies.


Xander walked out of the closed congressional hearing first, adjusting his jacket and his twin followed looking less than pleased. They shrugged at each other then looked at the staring older man impatiently waiting on them. "Sorry, really, really classified, Giles," Xander quipped with a grin, hugging him.

"What did you two run into down there? Agents going rogue?" he asked genteelly.

"Someone who thought twins were evil so he had a heart attack while he had my beloved evil one hostage," Alex said dryly. "And a few groups that agreed with the two slayers who decided they were born evil to be called that way so went to groups that the US finds...iffy."

Giles hugged Alex then looked at him. "Tell me you did not run into terrorists," he said quietly.

"I cannot tell that lie," Xander quipped. "Over five times I cannot tell that lie."

"Seven," Alex agreed with a grimace. Giles moaned, sitting down to stare at them. "We're making a super secret report later, once all the girls are in bed and otherwise not going to annoy us about things. And then we're fleeing from Cleveland thanks to the hellmouth there thinking we're its baby."

"I remember it doing that," Giles sighed. He looked at them. "I can take the report in a hotel room, boys."

"No, you can't." Xander pointed behind him. "They couldn't hear all of it because some of it was that classified." Giles winced again. "We'll be taking the listening devices out of your office first, but I'm hoping you've mostly done that."

"I do try to keep them gone," he agreed. Two agents walked out and over to them. "Is there a problem, Gentlemen?"

"No, Mr. Giles," one said with a smile. "We're escorting your handlers to your room today, making sure there's no listening devices, and then escorting them to where we've set them up safely and quietly."

"Why is that necessary?" Giles demanded, standing up. "They have to leave our service?"

"No," Alex said. "We have to quietly handle it. We kinda...." He looked at the agents, who nodded. Then he looked at Giles again. "We had six battles that were bad enough we're not sure how they didn't get seen here in the US," he said. "Including getting ...unsavory groups in to help protect their own butts because they didn't want to die by demons either."

Giles took off his glasses, staring at them. "I saw five."

"Which one wasn't covered?" Xander asked the agents.

"The one with the two-headed goddess," one of them sighed. "The agent you worked with to get home found the film of all of them to compare. The one they showed on the US news was *very* trimmed." The boys both winced. "They showed a lot of cooperation, to prove everyone was cooperating on that problem." The twins both nodded then sighed and shook their heads. "The whole film has been saved for Mr. Giles to view for reports. I'm sure you've got others to hand him?" Xander nodded once. "So we'll escort you back to the hotel. Let you guys get comfortable. We'll let Mr. Giles see all those and have a slight fit, then you guys can meet for breakfast since you don't leave until after dinner tomorrow. Is that workable?" he asked, looking at each one. They all nodded. "Good. Greg, you take Mr. Giles. He's more vulnerable and if the twins are attacked I'm fairly certain I can help them handle it."

"Just as long as the slayers don't see because we will be nagged," Alex said simply.

"Then we'll go out through the parking garage, Alex. The local girls were talking to Mr. Giles earlier so may be out there waiting on him. Let's go?" They followed him.

The other agent took Mr. Giles back to his room to sweep for bugs, make arrangements for something calming after the meeting, and took custody of the file when his boss got there. He handed it over with a grimace. "A few of us watched some of one of the battles. We were not pleased. It worked, and it was good that it worked, but it was...deplorably nasty to quote the Director, Mr. Giles. I've asked that they send you soothing things for dinner. I'll be in the hall when you have questions." He left him, closing the door quietly.

Giles sat down to run the videos on the tv's entertainment system. Thankfully the hotel had a nice mini bar that had scotch. Not enough but it had some at least. He watched them all and read the reports that the boys had sent over for him. He sighed, grimacing at what was written. "Those two," he muttered, turning pages. "They did what?" He stared at it. "Agent Gregory?" he called. He came in and closed the door again. He held up a file. "Is that correct?"

"Sir, we have no idea. Though it was not the only one noted."

Giles looked at it then at him. "Why?"

"They wanted to date one of the twins, sir."

"Oh, dear," he sighed. "I hated their drawing dangerous ones back in Sunnydale. It seems to be worse now." He went back to reading. "Did you order me soup?"

"Fresh fruit soup and biscuits, Mr. Giles. Very calming."

Giles nodded. "Yes, it hopefully will be. They did what?" he demanded. He huffed but put that page aside. He and the twins would have a lot to talk about in the morning.


Three days later, Xander was dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt, plus a sweat jacket. He nodded at the Mountie on the doorway to the Consulate and walked in. "Hi, I need to speak to a Mountie I got referred to," he told the receptionist. He handed over a slip.

"He's on the doorway, sir. Can anyone else help you?"

"I was asked to personally give him a report for the higher ups that they're going to hate. I was just in Africa," he said more quietly, smiling at her. "And we ran into a few ...issues."

"With Canadians?"

"Yes, and a few who were selling people."

"Oh, dear. Let me have him switch out, sir. You are?"

"Xander Harris." The receptionist nodded, going to talk to the other Mountie in service so they could switch out. Xander followed the one coming in from outside back to his office, handing over two USB keys and a file he had tucked under his t-shirt. "The reports that Homeland Security cleared for your people about what we did in Africa. They think it will impact *you* as we seem to know a lot of people in common. Especially since one of them was selling people. The file is a Canadian that we ran into who is still a problem and is trying some weird world takeover BS that we haven't been able to stop yet."

"Are you an agent, Mr. Harris?" he asked politely.

"New Council of Watchers. My twin and I were stationed training the girls in Africa. Where we ran into ...issues. May I?" He pointed at the chair, getting a nod. "Stapled inside the file is the password for the USB keys."

"Thank you." He ran them and looked at the password, then typed it in. He scanned down them, eyes going wide. "Why did they not tell us sooner?"

"We didn't tell them until they asked," Xander said. "No one asked. We just needed a way out since we somehow took over a warlord's compound to protect his people after he died of a heart attack because my twin was trying to rescue me from his icky wants and desires. It was the only way we could protect the people that he had *bought* and the others around there. So we asked for some help getting home. They wanted a report on what we've done. So did Mr. Giles, who was not amused that we narrowed our reports down to prevent the unrelenting nagging that some of the slayers do around us."

He grinned. "We did what we had to do, most of the time, but sometimes it wasn't all that pleasant. Especially when we got kidnaped. The file is an immediate problem that *someone* has to deal with. Including the vision my twin had about him trying to nuclear bomb parts of LA. We may hate LA but still. He's Canadian and I'm guessing Homeland might want you guys to know. They suggested strongly we give you the USB keys. That file is my choice to give you."

The Mountie nodded, looking over that one. "Oh, dear. That vision...how accurate is your twin?"

"We're both at ninety percent. We had one that got pushed back for weeks."

The Mountie sighed. "He is a very bad problem. They've seen this?"

"Yes, and he's in Chicago next week by the scuttlebutt we've heard around everywhere. Beyond the fact that he's the sort to want to kidnap one of us, which we'll fight back about, we really don't need that on top of demon battles. By the way, we're your team for that locally now. The local slayer had to move due to work."

"That's excellent to know. How do we get in touch with you?" He handed over a business card. "Thank you kindly." He stood up. "Let me take this to my superior officer."

"She's not going to believe us, because we're not officers or agents, and she's not going to believe a vision. She didn't when one got shown to her about her nearly dying a few years ago. She's listed as one we cannot go to because she'll obstruct things until it's critical and then walk off and let us handle it until she comes back to complain."

"I would hope not but I will also call in a contact we have within the PD."

"We heard about your unofficial partner. My twin's meeting him right now." He grinned. "He even brought him coffee since it's so early."

"That's very polite. Let me try." He walked out with the file. "Sir," he said from her doorway. "We have information on an arms dealer who is employing Canadians and has been running arms through Canada and other areas."

"From where?" she asked. "I heard we have a visitor who doesn't look like an agent."

"He's just off service in Africa working with the new Council of Watchers."

She grimaced. "We do not consider them credible sources, Sergeant."

"With this information it is, sir."

"Tell it to your partner. Handle it if happens to be about Canada but I will not dirty myself with their ways."

"The new Council is not like the old one."

"So?" she demanded. "They still have children being warriors."

Xander leaned in. "Not like we can hold the calling off. If we could, we would. Instead, we don't let them do anything until they're adults. Now they get a lot of training, support, and all that. We're not the old guys and all of us in command worked with the girls in the field." He smirked a tiny bit. "I was training the girls in Africa so they could work around their home areas, ma'am. Maybe you should look at the new methods as we don't allow children to do a *damn* thing."

"They're still called as children."

"No, they're marked at birth, which we have no control over. The ones who do that, the Powers That Be, are higher beings who are playing chess with humanity. They're the ones that pick the slayers, not us. If it was up to us, it'd be by volunteer and there'd be more guys helping." He shrugged. "But we know you hate us. We keep a list of your kind. But the guy's still bringing sonic nuclear weapons through your ports in two days by our contacts in the underground." She shuddered. "That's why I brought it to you." He looked at the Mountie. "On the back of the card is our address. Let us know if you need us." The Mountie nodded and shook his hand. "Let me go finish unpacking with our protected ones." He left.

She held out a hand so he handed over the file. She grimaced. "Send this up so they can stop him."

"Yes, sir."

"Then work with your work partner to get them out of this city."

"They're on for our city's battles, sir. We don't make that decision."

"I'll talk to the Mayor," she decided. She got up to go do that.

Benton Fraser went to send the file up to the main office. Maybe they could stop them up there before they came to Chicago.


Alex paused to feed the turtle that was staring up at him. He grinned as he sprinkled some food and added a bit of lettuce from the container beside the bowl then went into the bedroom. He put the coffee on the side table, smiling at the glare. "We need to talk. I brought you coffee, plain so you can doctor it however you wanted, and I fed your turtle. It looked hungry."

"Who the hell are you?"

"Alex Harris. New Council of Watchers. I'm one of the two of us here in your area for demon battles and big stuff." He sat on the foot of his bed. "We're having a private talk because I don't want to deal with your boss, who'd hate us, or the overly hyper church people who want to burn us at the stake for fighting demons. Unfortunately we have information you need on big things coming up in Chicago. Including arms dealers."

"Great," the blond man said, sitting up to sniff the coffee. "Straight?"

"Yeah. My twin and I are just off service in Africa." He grinned. "I didn't know if you took sugar or not. The Homeland agent that helped us get here suggested I come to you because you work well with the Mountie he suggested we go to."

"Figures." He sipped the coffee, staring at him. Then into the cup. "That's damn good coffee."

"We bought a huge bag of beans to bring with us," Alex quipped with a grin. "You can buy a lot of stuff with pure coffee beans in some areas. Including goats." He held up the file, a twin to the one his twin had handed over. "Arms dealer?"

"Yup." He took it to read. "How did you get in?"

"Your lock is bad and I've had experience with them since so many bad guys wanted to own me or my twin." He grinned. "It took a paperclip."

"Crap." He put on his glasses and read the file. "Super crap." He looked up. "You sure?"

"I'm the one that had the vision. I know a member of that team he's going to try to use and I'm going to go work on him later. He's coming this way for an arms buy and then heading out there, then up north again then to Asia, then back to LA after he screws that team up."

"Great." He went back to reading. "What do you two plan to do as a cover?"

Alex grinned. "Well......" The detective stared at him. "We had to take ourselves back so many times and had to tinker with so many weapons to win battles that we kinda fell into being a warlord for a few weeks and asked to get help out of there. So us, a few people of the former warlord that died from a heart attack because twins are evil, and their kids are all being protected locally while we do neat things like design weapons. We've had so many we tinkered into being that Homeland thought we'd do good starting up a design firm." He shrugged. "It'll make us money. We sold the warlord's stuff, divvied it up among his former slaves, and took a five percent cut for ourselves for having to deal with his nasty, never bathed ass. He was the sixth overall," he finished dryly then grinned. "But things like that happen to us, which is why they suggested we talk to you and that one Mountie guy. My twin's talking to him."

"Kick me in the head," the detective muttered, going back to the file. "Great." He closed it to look at him. "How soon?"

"Two days. The sale's in three."

He nodded. "I'll bring this in."

"We're also on call for huge demon problems and the like. Your local slayer had to move for work and safety reasons. Apparently your bishop wanted to burn her at the stake or something. He won't be trying that with our asses." He handed over a card he pulled out. "Call us if you need stuff."

"I can do that." He stared at him. "You two straight?"

"Bi actually," he said, standing up with a smirk. "You're cute and all but I require wooing after all the ones who tried to kidnap and steal my poor ass." He walked off.

The detective groaned, leaning his forehead against his knees. He got up to shower, change, finish his coffee, check his turtle, and then headed in to work to talk to his boss. Who was already with the police commissioner. He handed over the file to his boss. "I just met with a new resident."

"Was his name Harris?" the police commissioner demanded.

"Yup." He dialed the desk phone. "Put me through to whichever agent sent the Harris twins at me." He waited and got an agent. A supervising one. "It's Kowalski. What the fuck! Give a guy some warning! I woke up to one bringing me coffee and feeding my turtle." He listened. "That's me, yeah. Thanks." He listened again. "Police commish's here." He handed over the phone. "I had the smartass one apparently. He said one had an eyepatch."

"That would be Xander as opposed to Alex," one of the other detectives said from the doorway. "They were the guys who backed up that blonde, yappy slayer in Sunnydale until it sunk. They were covered on the Discovery Channel show about them."

"Good ta know," the lieutenant said. He looked in the file and his eyes went wide. "They're sure?"

"Yup. Said there's a vision. The agents sent them at me and Benny."

The police commissioner hung up and nodded. "You're both screwy in the same way they are," he said bluntly. "I don't like this."

Kowalski looked at him. "They're just off service in Africa. Mine said bluntly if the bishop tried the same shit with them that he did with that one slayer, they weren't playing back."

"I'll let him know," he complained. "Is that on the arms dealer?" The lieutenant handed it over with a nod. "Damn it," he muttered as he read. "We'll handle this."

"Sure, you think you can handle the psycho who laughs as he tortures guys?" Kowalski said. "That's just another perp to us around here, sir."

"We'll have SWAT backing your people up, Lieutenant." He left, leaving with the folder.

Kowalski looked at him. Then shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted. "It's freaky and weird but wrong."

"Definitely. What else did whoever say?"

"They got sent here to protect themselves and the people they're protecting that they helped when a warlord died while one was being held hostage. That and they found out they'd been making weapons for the battles down there, so Homeland had them moved. Mr. Giles apparently approved of it."

"Fine. Liaison with them. Make sure they stay safe and sane in this city."

"Yessir." He left to go talk to his Mountie partner then to the twins. Which only one was there now.


Later that night in a bar in Central America, Xander walked in and nodded at a few beings he knew about. "He here yet?"

"Outside town, Hunter," one growled. "Why bring him here?"

Xander looked at him. "Because I had a vision about stupid warlord wannabes who want to bomb places." The demons all groaned. "By the way, we're Chicago's new protectors." They grunted at that and a few paid off bets. He smiled at one. "After we took out all his shit, yes. We even sold the compound to a local drug lord wannabe then blew it up once he had everything moved in." The ones who had heard moaned. He grinned. "We hate drugs." He looked at the man being carried in, following the demon into the back room. "Thanks." The demon accepted the payment vial of blood and left. Xander untucked the hood and stared at him. "Yes, it's that important," he said at the glare. "Because someone's about to use your whole team as a toy."

"Sex toy?" he quipped, still glaring.

"No. Disposable toy." He held up the vision. It was the full one, not the 'only the important to Chicago parts one' they had handed over earlier. "Alex had it."

"Crap," he said, looking it over. "This sucks."

"That more than sucks, Pooch. That's more than bad and evil and stupid. Frankly, I owe Roque a good kick in the balls anyway since he laughed we had been kidnaped but I like you and the others too much to let them do that. And I can't find them." He stared at him.

"I can take you back to the team."


"They're going to hate how I got removed."

"I did it that way because this way you can call your pregnant wife to warn her to move," he said, holding out his phone. "Because to that guy, that'd be fun." Pooch's eyes went wide and he snatched the phone to call her. He walked around the small space while he called and talked to her and she agreed to go into better hiding and he'd see her soon. He took his phone back when he hung up after making a second call. "Shall we?" he asked with a grin.

"Yeah, we should." He carried the vision and followed the guy out of the demon bar. "Yeah, I wouldn't have walked in there by myself."

Xander grinned. "I love me some kitten poker sometimes." He handed over his keys. "Range Rover just in case?"

"Even better." He took a look around as he got in, spotting a problem. "Harris?" He pointed subtly.

Xander leaned on the hood and stared at that one. "Do I need to open up my armory?" he demanded in Arabic, which he knew that asshole spoke. The man shook his head quickly and backed off. "Good, I was hoping I'd only have *one* thing to solve down here and I could do it quietly." He got into the passenger's seat.

Pooch got in to drive, shaking his head. "You're weird."

"I'm still ducking the nagging you guys thankfully interrupted that last time we saw you."

Pooch laughed as he drove them off. They ran into the team gearing up to rescue him and parked, getting out with Xander. "It had a reason, guys." He handed the team leader the vision. He heard Roque yelp and was holding a new cut on his arm.

Xander grinned. "For thinking I'm a bimbo who deserved the rape attempt. Thanks a lot for that. I really needed that then," he said dryly. He walked around him. "By the way, mother fucker," he said, staring back at him. "Alex had a vision. You might wanna read it before you go there too." He sat down next to Jensen, who huffed. "Hey, Jensen. Call your sister on my dime, tell her to move." He handed over his phone.

"J, I called 'er," Pooch said, staring at him. "It's that bad." Jensen took the vision next and winced at it. He looked at Clay. "So?"

"That's...." He growled as he thought. "We're sure?"

"Yup," Xander said, adjusting his eyepatch. "Alex had the vision."

"Shit," Clay said. He glared at Roque then at the kid. "Where are you two serving now?"

"Chicago." He grinned. "We had to get a senior agent to help us get out of Dumara. He had a heart attack because he's scared of twins. Thought we were evil and Alex totally destroyed him when he broke in to save me. So we've got a few of the ones we're protecting from the death threats for dishonoring their granted station and we're now designing weapons for a living."

Jensen looked at him. "Wow."

"Yeah." He grinned. "Homeland helped us a lot. We even went through Finn to set up the meeting. Then we came home to an Intelligence Committee meeting and confessing to Giles."

"Oh, sorry," Jensen said, patting him on the arm. He handed Cougar the vision and he read it then handed it to Roque. "Did we recognize the minion?"

"Yeah, it's the guy who bought us the drugged purple alcoholic thing in South Africa," Xander said dryly. "I know he's Canadian, he's got that sort of cadence to his voice, and he's a bit more psycho than I'll hopefully ever be."

Roque nodded. Pooch said it. "That's Wade. How did you get away from him?"

"Succuba." He grinned. "He had a good night and she got really full she said."

Clay shook his head. "You have screwy ideas that work. Don't let the kid there suck any of that from you," he said with a wave at Jensen. He looked at Roque, who was growling. "So?" he demanded dryly.

"I'm not...."

"Crazy, vindictive chick," Xander said. He got into something on his phone. "That's what we saw for later. Including an attempted bombing of the LA Harbor." He let them see it. "I had that part."

Clay winced but nodded, letting Roque see it. "Fuck," Roque said. "Can't you bring good news?"

"I can have your balls eaten," Xander offered with a smirk. "The thing behind you really likes them. They consider them as yummy as most people consider oranges." Roque moved and stabbed the demon. "Takes silver." He waved at the demon. "Hi. How're you?" It handed over an envelope. "From?"


He read it and snorted. "Tell the dickless wonder I said no, again, and he's not my type. I want a relationship, not a Xander slave owner who'd kill us. We deserve better for saving the damn world a few times. And if he doesn't quit, I'm coming over there to ruin his goddamn empire the same way I did warlords."

"Yes, Knight. Thank you." It disappeared to give that response back.

Xander shook his head, leaning it on Jensen's shoulder. "I get crazy guys instead of Clay's crazy women. It must be because of the slayers."

Jensen patted him on the back. "Probably, yes." He shoved him off but grinned. Xander grinned back.

"You two flirt and you can marry him," Clay said. He looked at his team. "So?"

"I'm not doing this," Pooch said. "I don't want to put Jolene through that. I'll be damned, Clay." Cougar nodded and sat on a log.

Roque quit moving to shake his head. "I don't want that to happen." He looked the crazy one. "What if he picks another team?"

"Too late to move one into place," Xander said. "But yeah, he'll eventually do that or try to retaliate against you guys for it. Unless you guys get real sick or break stuff so you can't work...." He shrugged. "I'm leaving that up to you guys. I'm just the messenger of doom, guys. I don't have answers this time." He stood up, taking the keys from Pooch. "I gotta get back before the protectees run over Alex and make him eat vegetables. They're trying to mother us really hard because that warlord bought them for that reason."

Clay shook his head. "You're nuts."

"I try but yeah, the women in the world keep sucking it out of me," he said dryly. "Maybe they give to you after they get done with us?"

"Maybe," Roque agreed. "Go. We've got it." Xander nodded and headed off. He looked at the others. "I wouldn't normally do that."

"We all know you're one crazy Clay date away from losing your shit," Jensen said dryly. "Though I'd be killing you really hard if you did turn on us." He looked at Cougar then at Clay. "Want us to break stuff or get sick?"

"Get sick. We'll go to Chicago ourselves. He's supposed to be there in two days."

Jensen nodded, pulling out his netbook to make them reservations. "Problems. Riley Finn just said to let them handle it. We're in quarantine down here due to something like a jungle fever." He let Clay see it.

"Get us transferred out of the area," Clay said. "We need more friendlies around us." Jensen typed that back and got an agreement. They packed up camp and took their jeep to the nearest secret base to be transported back home with the orders Homeland sent down for them.

They may be Losers but they weren't going to let that happen to them.


Xander opened the door, smiling at the two guys standing there. "I know you're agents of something. With?" he demanded, leaning on the side of the door.

"Mr. Harris?" one asked.

"Yup, one of. Now answer mine or stay out here," he said firmly. "I don't deal with bullshit."

"FBI, sir," the other one said, holding up his ID.

Xander took it to look at. "Good fake, dude." He tossed it back at him. "Clearly Cogro is working again or you got it before he did sixty days for a drunk and disorderly." He stared at them, seeing the hatred now. "Anything else you guys want to talk about?"

"We're going to talk," the other said. He tried to push Xander but ended up with a gun in his face. "You're going to kill us?" he asked dryly.

"I prefer wounding but you wouldn't be the first this month," he said dryly. "We were on hard service in Africa, boys." They backed up. He smiled at the cop car that stopped. "Officer, these two have fake FBI badges," he called. "And I'm a weapons designer." They hurried up to handle that instead of the complaining couple up the street. "Nice timing."

"They called us about the fight."

"It's been about an hour now. They were annoying me while I was on the roof earlier." He shrugged. He picked up the ID case to hand over. "Really good fake but still fakes." He pointed. "That's the wrong shade and it's not chromatic."

The officer checked and nodded. "That is." He looked at him. "Who're you?" Xander reached behind him to grab one of his cards and handed it over with a grin. "Oh, shit."

Xander nodded. "Yeah, and I'm designing weapons too. We learned in Africa. The local slayer had to move for work so we took over. It's me and my twin and a few people we're protecting because they were sold to slimy bastards down there."

"Good to know," the officer said. "Let me.... Weapons?" He looked at the gun being shown. "That's not new." Xander motioned him out of the way and shot at the bush by the fence that was dead anyway. The laser set it on fire and blew up the ground around it. "Oh, that is." Xander smiled. "You made that?"

"We tinkered it into being before a huge battle," Xander said. Alex came out yawning and stretching. "Have a good nap?"

"Pretty decent." He looked at the people and shrugged. "I don't know why they showed up. I was napping off the excellent lunch so we could go back to arguing that we're paying the ones we're protecting for helping around the house."

"Why are they arguing?" the officer asked. "Seems pretty normal to me."

"The last person who had them had bought them. They had been told it was their destiny and we're protecting them from their families taking them out for dishonoring their roles," Alex said quietly. "We've set up accounts for them, gotten them stuff to help them learn English and other things, and set the kids up in schools but the agents that helped us agreed they needed to be protected."

"That's decent of you," the officer said. "They're good?"

"Usually. Though one cried when I talked to them about how they wanted to learn to manage their paychecks. She was horrified that we'd be paying her," Xander said with a shrug. "They have people to talk to too. Ones that work with former slaves."

"That's good," the officer decided. "Decent of you too." He looked at the fake agent and his called in backup showed up to help him remove them and warn the fighting couple since they had stopped to stare at the arresting going on. He reported on all that to his boss, who notified a few people about them being on for demon things and who they were.


Alex smiled at the lady that got let into the office. "You're who, ma'am?"

"I'm Delores Maynard. I'm with Adult Protective Services, Mr. Harris."

Xander nodded, turning to get something out of the cabinet behind him. "Here, the papers that Homeland did to get them into the country so we can protect them."

"You are?" she sneered.

"Yes, we are," Alex said. He pulled up a site and let her see it. "These four were slaves of the guy who we ended up killing because he had one of us hostage. They expected us to take over his duties and we did to protect the people but not the business side." She glared at him. "That's by their families." He handed over a pamphlet. "These are the people we're having them talk to so they can get used to being on their own. They deal with others who've been taken or sold into slavery."

Xander handed over another file. "This is on their bank accounts, their contract for payment, education, and the education of their children. We weren't going to leave them there to be killed by their families for not being owned any more."

She huffed but read things over. "I've seen about this group before. They tend to work with sex slaves."

"Two were owned for that and for their mothering tendencies," Alex said. "They sure mother us and try to get us to eat better." He leaned back in his chair. "We made sure this was legal and good for them. We had to stop someone breaking in last night to kill them for the money."

She huffed again but went back to looking things over. "That is not minimum wage for Chicago."

"We tried," Xander said. "They argued and the Homeland agent that helped us make that agreement got them to agree to the US minimum wage. Frankly, they do barely nothing around the house because we make them stop it when they start. They took over cleaning, unpacking, cooking, and then we made them do lessons instead. That way they could speak better English and take care of their kids. They all live in the guest house because they claimed it for themselves. We don't have keys to the locks on the doors and they've got their own security system with their own code for it. We have a house-wide override code but that'll still leave us breaking in the door if there's a huge problem. We promised to protect them and we are."

She nodded, still looking displeased. "There wasn't a way to let them stay at home and do this?"

"No. We talked to the local group down there. They nearly sold one of them again because she had been told since she was a kid that she'd be sold to someone to be owned by. Her family considers it a dishonor to have broken that. That's why they've got a bounty on her head. And the others," Alex said. "We talked with the regional group, the national group, the region of Africa group, the one that heads out of England, and they're the ones we thought had the most sense and saw common problems because the others assured us they'd be sold again. Plus their kids. We're not like that."

"I know they have a fundraising office in DC," she said.

"They and the families video chat," Xander said. "They have their phone number programmed into the cheapy cellphones we gave them. They helped us pick schools for the kids and learning systems for the adults. There were three more we'd like to have brought over to protect them but two got taken out by their families and the other one wanted to run to a further aunt and we helped her get there."

"The few guys on staff the local group got out of the area and to a better program meant for captured guys turned into soldiers," Alex added. "They didn't have one really for women or kids."

"I can understand that." She went over the information again. "May I speak to them?"

"We've taught them some english," Xander said. "Mostly common word things. They only speak the local dialect from that area." He pushed a button on his phone and said something quietly. A woman came in with a nursing infant. "Sit down," he ordered with a point. "You need to sit to feed her. She needs to be comfy to eat enough and so do you! You should've sent someone else." She snorted and flapped a hand at him, saying something back. He stared at her. "Really?" She snorted and looked at the new lady.

"This one is concerned that we treat you like the last guy treated you," Alex said in English. "She's the person who checks on abused adults."

The woman looked confused but they explained it in her native language then nodded and said something. Xander dialed a number, said something to someone, and then put it on speaker so he and his twin could leave.

"I'm here to translate," he said in both English and the local language. "I'm with the University of Chicago's language program and I'm helping with those families' english integration."

"Thank you," Ms. Maynard said. "I'm Delores Maynard with Adult Protective Services."

"So the twins told me, ma'am. What did you need to talk to her about? I'm guessing the standard things?"

"Yes. We need to make sure this isn't all smoke and mirrors." He said something to her and she nodded, saying something back, which he translated. Just under an hour later they came out of the office, the woman smiling and Ms. Maynard scowling less. "You do seem to care for their well-being and they did complain about being paid. It seems you have good intentions."

"We are trying to," Alex said from the kitchen barstool with his current comic book. He looked at her. "We know this could blow up in our faces and look really bad on us but we're not the sort to let them be killed by their families for getting free."

"No, I totally agree with that and with the worker at the group you chose to help them. They agreed it was unusual but healthier because it did teach them all sorts of coping mechanisms they'd need when they separated." Xander walked in reading and nodding. "They had a timetable of two years?"

"We were thinking under five," Xander said. "The youngest kid will be in school by then and that'll mean we can make sure they get into a decent one. We set up a small educational trust for each kid out of the idiot warlord's funds."

"They told me about that and I agree it's a good thing to do." She stared at them. "I find no fault with what you're doing or the methods. Though I still find it weird."

"Then again, we deal with demon emergencies," Alex quipped with a grin. "It was the only way we saw."

"Fine. I'll make notes on it but you should be fine as long as you continue in the same vein." She shook their hands and left. She heard them say something to the women and they laughed but then one of the guys yelped. So apparently they were strong enough to swat their protectors.


Alex and Xander got out of the van their protectees got to use, letting the kids out of the back. They pointed and the kids trooped up to the school. Though one of the girls tried to hang back. Alex hugged her and walked her up there. "To the left, kids," he called in English. "We're going to the office first since it's your first day." They had been working hard on English. Xander had to save the older girl from some of their new schoolmates. Alex smiled at the secretary. "The Harris family's protectees?"

"She's waiting on you, Mr. Harris. Oh, both of you are here." Xander grinned and nodded. "Go ahead on in, children." They walked in there. Alex had to catch the one he was helping but her brother glared and nagged her in their native language until she shrank against Alex and walked in there.

"Go easier on her," Xander said quietly, staring at him. "It's her first time in a school and you know the horror stories your mom told you guys." He grimaced but nodded, coming in last. "Here we are, Principal Smithy."

"Good morning, children."

"Morning," they said quietly, not looking at her.

"We've been working hard on their english skills," Alex said, helping his scared little one into a chair. "We've gotten them about second grade level probably."

"That's a huge advance considering they've only been learning it for a few months," she said with a smile. "I know you're scared but we will not be mean to you about being new to education," she said and Xander translated it for her. She smiled at him for that. "You'll all be in special classes to help you acclimate more to the US system of education and to help you learn more english. We're hoping by next year you're in regular level of classes, children." Xander translated that as well. "Are one of you staying today?"

"I think I am since I got all dressed up," Alex quipped with a grin. "I also brought in their latest worksheets and the test we gave them last night from the same educational system."

"Excellent. We have all their health records and all that we need legally. Their parents?"

"Sulking because I told them to quit cleaning things," Xander quipped with a grin. "Plus fussing over the two babies in the group."

"That's fine. It's an odd situation but it's good for them." She stood up. "Let me give you the tour and then show you to your room. You'll have lunch with the other kids but there's teachers in there in case others get confused or try to bother you or you don't understand," she said as they walked. Xander translated for them. They all nodded. They went on a tour and found the special education room for non-english speaking children. Alex settled in to talk to the teacher about their tests and introduce them. They could handle it with a bit of help.


Xander came in and found one of the kids holding her arm and crying. "What happened?" he demanded, looking at it. He pulled her over to the sink to rinse it off. "What did you spill on yourself?" Someone pounded. "It's open!" he yelled in English. Two officers and the same social worker came in. "Two rooms to your right, Officer. Up that hall. Grab me the first aid kit please. She burned herself with some sort of cleaner." He nodded, going to grab it for him.

"I came home from dropping the kids at school and found this," he told the social worker. He gently rinsed off the area and took the first aid kit from the officer. He carefully dried off the burn and found the burn cream, looking at it. "This'll be cold but it'll help." One of the mothers fussed at it. He scowled at her, making her shrink back. "I'm treating the injury even if you think she's fine." He spread the cream in a thick layer then wrapped it in gauze. "Can you get me some tape to seal this please?" he asked. He wrapped a second layer then cut the gauze and took the tape.

"Too tight?" he asked. She shook her head, looking down. He tipped her head up again, staring into her eyes. "You're too little to touch the cleaning supplies. It can hurt you," he said with a grin. "Don't do that." She nodded. "Keep this bandage clean. I'll change it tomorrow. Don't get it wet." She nodded, holding her arm. "Good girl and now you know not to do that." He kissed her on the head and put up the gauze and tape. "Go play?" She pouted. "Please? You're a kid, go play or do english lessons."

"What was she trying to do?" the social worker asked. Xander pointed at the spilled spray cleaner. "Oh, that's harsh."

"We use it in the weapons lab on them," he said, picking it up to toss out. "To clean up metal we've had greasy stuff on." He looked in a cabinet and put some baking soda on it to soak it up. "That'll help." He sat down, staring at the mother. "Didn't I tell you not to clean stuff earlier?" She snorted and waved a hand at him as she walked off complaining that she wasn't doing anything. He looked at the social worker, who smiled at him. "I try."

"I know. Where is your twin?"

"With the kids on their first day of school. They're in a special ed classroom for language needs. He stayed to translate anything they need to make sure they don't have too many problems."

"That's good of him," she said. "The other children?" Xander looked outside then pointed. She looked. "Are those language lessons?"

"Yes, for children. We started them all on the beginning lessons like you would little kids." He saw one of the mothers get frustrated and throw something so he went out to talk to her. She huffed again and cried a bit but he got her calmed down and pointed out why she needed to know, so she could do something beyond get killed by her family. The other women agreed and nagged her into studying so they could go look at the local markets for pretty things for themselves and their children. She sighed but gave in and went back to her lessons. Xander pointed out they could do that inside but they shooed him off again so he went back to the kitchen. He shrugged at the staring social worker.

"You don't let them go out?"

"Have you noticed that there's a bunch of skinheads in this city?" he asked back.

One of the officers nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Them plus the gangs."

Xander grinned. "I deal with things that make the gang kids piss themselves," he said dryly.

"The local demon community is hidden and staying that way," that officer said.

Xander grinned. "Not really. They hide from you guys. The gang kids not so much. We've already hit a few of the kitten poker halls to make sure they knew we were here in case they had problems we needed to handle. Because we only hunt the bad ones that're attacking people. If they're being attacked, we're there to help them too."

The officer nodded. "We heard that from our former slayer."

"We wouldn't have minded her staying but her job moved her to the south west somewhere." He shrugged. "Not our decision and one's coming up here to go to college next year."

"That's fine, sir. What are your positions within the Council?"

Xander grinned. "We're the ones that were training the slayers in Africa how to handle their new duties to protect their families in their native areas." The officer winced. "Which means we ran into idiots, yeah." He shrugged. "A lot. That's how we ended up protecting their families. That warlord that had me hostage died when we found out we were twins. He had someone tell him evil twins would end his reign or whatever. That's what he gasped out during his heart attack when my twin brother scared him to death. We ended up being put in his place to keep the power vacuum from hitting hard and freeing his slaves. Unfortunately they had prices on their heads for dishonoring what their families chose for them."

"So you're protecting them and getting them used to american life," the other officer said. Xander nodded. "Does Immigration know?"

"We went through Homeland to make sure the warlord's stuff didn't implode and kill most of a region's people. We needed an exit strategy. They helped us set everything up."

"Why here?" the first officer asked.

"The senior agents we worked with picked here over a few other cities thanks to Giles needing someone to fill in this spot since you guys have a huge problem just outside the city."

"That makes a lot more sense. What are you two doing for work?" the second officer asked with a slight smile.

Xander grinned. "Do you know how many times we had to tinker weapons into being when we needed them in Africa?" The officers moaned. Xander smiled. "Yeah. We're busy writing down how we did things and making full testing units so they can be tested, sold for hopefully a lot of money, and we can figure out what we want to do with the rest of our lives."

"I guess that's a good thing as long as you're selling to legitimate businesses," the first officer said.

Xander nodded. "We have some people staring over our shoulder." He snapped his fingers and walked off. "Let me grab that letter." He went to the office and came back, handing it to an officer. "One of our dates in Africa that we walked off from because he tried to alpha male us and we just laughed at it."

The officer read the letter, grimacing. "Um...."

Xander shrugged. "We've always drawn the deadly and dangerous. That's why that warlord took me hostage." One of the kids ran in and he grinned, taking the book to explain to her what it wanted. She settled in there to go through it with him helping. The social worker helped her as well, earning a smile from the kid. Xander smiled at her too. "Thanks." He looked at the officers, who were both grimacing at the letter. "One of mine was a former vengeance demon. I nearly married her."

"Oh," the second officer said and nodded. "So this is normal?"

"Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes they're psychotic. Sometimes they're dangerous. Sometimes they're just mean. Then there were three or four serial killers that wanted us that we ran over until they left us alone." The officers stared at him. He grinned. "Which is why I'm warning you guys. Thanks for coming today."

The social worker shook her head. "Around these families?"

"No," Xander said. "We tend to keep that out of sight. We're used to that because the slayers nag. A lot." He shook his head slightly and sighed. "We run a lot from the nagging." He checked his watch and called Alex to leave a message for him then he called Giles, getting Willow. "It's us. We've made contact with the locals here. We've scouted their problem portal area. It's in the holding of the demonic mafia group that's got about forty percent of the local power matrix among all the groups. We had a charming talk about them agreeing they were making sure it calmed down. That's why they forced themselves to take over."

"Why would you do that?" Willow demanded. "They're dangerous, Xander."

"They're not dangerous to us, we're not going against them unless they do things like take out peaceful groups, Willow."

"You're not able to do that," she snorted.

"And yet, you might ask Giles about that. We gave him comprehensive reports from Africa." Then he winced. "Including a battle or two we had." He hung up and sighed. "The head witch at the Council. Our oldest remaining friend. She thinks we're *normal*."

The social worker shook her head. "I don't."

"Thank you," Xander said with a smile. "I'd hug you but you'd probably have me arrested for that." She nodded, backing away.

The officers smiled at him. He seemed like a goofy kid to him too. "How many are there of these?"

"That's the only one we know is coming to Chicago. The others are mostly there, New York, Cleveland, or LA." He went to get that file for them. He brought it back out, looking at his cellphone on the way. "Alex said the kids are doing okay. The other kids have only stared so far. He's expecting some during lunch but they'll handle it and the teachers will help."

The social worker nodded. "That's a good thing. Which school?" Xander pointed at the paperwork on the fridge so she looked and took notes on it. "That's a good religious school."

"We thought it'd be more familiar since a lot of the schools in that area are run by religious orders." He shrugged. "We talked to the two possible schools first and this one seemed nicer."

"That's good. You've done good watching out for their families."

"That's what protectors do. We're big brothers over the slayers we know and over them too."

She nodded. "That's good. I'll keep checking on them for the next few months or so."

He smiled. "We know. Sunnydale didn't have many social workers but we saw all of them thanks to our heavily alchi parents."

"Ah. No wonder you know how to deal with me."

"Yup." He smirked a tiny bit. "You're at least more concerned than they were and not going to be sacrificed by the mayor out there."

She shook her head. "I looked up that town when the news started about it." She sighed. Xander laughed but nodded. "Ten percent death rates?"

"Oh, honey, that's so a happy number. We made it there one year thanks to having two slayers working." She gaped. "Our graduation year, without the graduation battle, had twelve percent. Buffy got an award from our high school class from that because we had the highest number graduating, ever. Most years it was about fifteen or sixteen percent."

She shook her head. "I'm so glad it's not here and I'm not in Cleveland."

"Cleveland's still building up to it. It'll be a few decades before they get the higher vampire death rate. It'll hopefully never have the mayor that's turning himself into a huge demon during our graduation. He was behind a lot of the problems out there."

"Oh, charming. Are you sure?"

"He was over a century old. The rites took ninety years and he looked like he was in his forties."

"No, we don't have people that do that," one of the officers said then said a prayer for that benefit.

Xander nodded. "Basically, yeah. We really should see if we can track to see who else is doing that." He shrugged. "Someone'll do that I guess."

"You handed a detective information on an arms dealer."

"Yeah, my twin had a vision about him. We have visions about battles. The whole thing culminated in them using a commando team without them realizing to the point where they got called traitors, and weren't, and then he nearly green bombed LA Harbor."

"Okay," the officer said. "Is he coming here?"

"Yeah, a few times. We also told that team. And the Homeland guys."

They all nodded. "Good idea," they decided. "Let us go talk to our people. Are you selling to the local PD?"

"Do you guys need lasers or artillery?" Xander asked with a smile. "We can probably work something out."

"No thanks," the second officer said, shaking his head. "I'd hate to see most of us with lasers." They left with the social worker.

Xander made himself lunch, fussing and shooing the women away when they tried to come do it for him. He made them lunch too.


That weekend, Alex was out having some fun on the town when he ran into people who could not take no for an answer. "I knew I should've killed them before," he muttered as he glanced around and found a good target, who was probably looking for him anyway. He snuck closer and wrapped himself around Roque's back. "Protect me for a few from the guy who thinks I'm candy?" he hissed.

Roque smirked at him. "We wanted to find you anyway." He walked him off. Yup, the idiots tried to follow. Roque turned, smirking at them as he pulled a knife. "You've got problems if you think you're taking the kid from me."

"Not a kid," Alex complained. "Just tired of having to brush people off my ass and I'm told it's rude to kill them."

"Not really," Roque said. One of them tried to grab Alex so he broke his hand. "See, told you so." They rushed them and Roque helped the kid take care of them. They finished beating them and found the bouncers watching. Roque shrugged but smirked as he wiped off his knife and put it back in the holster. "They couldn't take a no."

"We saw," the bouncer said. "Go. Now."

"Thank you," Alex said, heading off with Roque. "I cabbed."

"Fine," Roque agreed. They got a cab and got in to go back to the current house. "You brought his people with you?"

"We're protecting them from the people who want to kill them for it and we're making sure they learn how to handle things on their own."

"That's reasonable I guess."

"They've got social workers to make sure we're nice to them and all that."

"Even worse," Roque complained. "He's in town."

"Yay," Alex complained. "Just what everyone in the world needs." They got dropped off and headed in, Alex nodding at the guys. "He found me and saved me from minions of stupid."

Xander looked up, staring at him. "Which one's minions? We know a lot of stupid ones."

"Debrisa's top guy." Xander snorted, shaking his head and finishing up his eye wash so he could put back on his eyepatch. Then he leaned back on the couch. Alex flopped down beside him. "We have the room to put you guys up. The ladies refused to live in here. They said they all grew up in houses smaller than their rooms out there. Since we have nine bedrooms, you're free to camp."

"Thanks," Clay said. He looked at Roque then at his shirt. "That bad?"

"Pussies who couldn't take a 'no'," Roque said dryly.

Xander nodded. "He's done that before. I had to stick a rifle in his face to make him leave him alone last time. He considers me horribly maimed for having an eyepatch."

"A lot of people see a handicapped person as less sexual of a being," Jensen said. "It's some sort of weird psychological thing like thinking the elderly never have sex when they have a lot more than some young guys do. They're the fastest growing group of STD's." Clay swatted him so he shut up.

Alex grinned at him. "I'm sure they are. We've had a few that wanted us to be their new toys." Xander snorted but nodded. "They all thought we were for sale or rent. We're not but they got happy thinking about it."

Xander grimaced. "I really hated having to deal with two of them but they would not go away."

Clay shook his head, looking at his team, who were mostly sane. You couldn't really tell about them sometimes. Or Jensen most of the time. "Losers, go find a spot and squat. We'll find out where our target is tomorrow."

"Only so many hotels in his desired princely ranges," Xander quipped. "And only so many that would reserve so many rooms."

"His helpers might be somewhere else to draw attention from him," Alex added. "But we have no idea." They nodded. "We'll call to ask."

"Don't," Clay said. "They might warn them."

Xander grinned. "The demonic mafia *loathes* that he's going to try to blow up their immigration point." Clay smirked, heading up to find a room to camp in. The others followed. Xander sent a message to a poker contact. He got one back saying that they wanted the psychotic asshole out of Chicago. The team came back so he showed them. A new message came in specifying that the insane one was Wade and the other psycho wasn't due in until tomorrow but he still wanted to meet with the twins. They also promised to warn him when they heard Max was local. "See," Xander said with a grin.

"Fine," Clay said. "What if he doesn't show up?"

Xander smirked and pointed at a shelf. "That tiny bottle right there contains a jinn, Clay." Jensen shuddered. "Won it at a poker game while trying for something useful. He's fully agreed that enemies like that one deserve bad things and there's not going to be much backlash, if any, like on most wishes because it'll be saving humanity from him."

Jensen opened the jar and looked down in it. "Why do you hate Max so much?"

The jinn stared up at him and smirked. "Wade used to be my CO. The asshole's earned it and his new boss is even worse. I'll be more than *happy* to bless him with bad luck for the next ten weeks or so. Ask the chaos source if I can."

"He's showing up in Chicago tomorrow," Xander quipped. "Unless they try to divert."

"No, he's coming," the jinn said then burst out snickering evilly. "Oh, yes, it'll be very pretty." He smiled at Jensen. "You have happy dreams. Okay?"

"Yup, I sure will," he agreed, putting the bottle back down. He waved the stopper and Xander pointed so he put it back on. "He's a bit creepy," he told Xander quietly.

"Yeah and if you leave off the stopper he'll sneak out to kill us all to free himself. If there's no master to serve he's free."

"Ah. Good reason," Jensen decided, going to check out the kitchen. "Xander, can I make stuff?"

"Go ahead. We should have a fully stocked fridge. I took the ladies shopping earlier. They were highly impressed by all the stuff they'd never seen before."


Clay shook his head. "You're nuts, Harris."

"I try," he quipped with a grin. "You guys have fun. Let me go see where Alex disappeared to." He went to check on his twin, who wasn't in the office and the window was open. But he heard fighting outside so he hummed as he grabbed his nearest sword and went to solve it. He was the better fighter. He walked past Clay, who groaned and shook his head but followed. Xander leaned on the gate, smiling at the idiot. "Why oh why do you have my twin and are making him kick your ass?" he asked, trying to stay nice enough.

The guy quit kicking at Alex to stare at him then back at Alex. "You're twins?" he demanded.

"Yeah," Alex said then punched him and broke his jaw. "We are. We're fabulous this way too, dude." He walked over the body, shaking his head. "His street gang boss wanted to own me."

"No, I think we need nicer Xander pet keepers, not mean ones," Xander said, letting him in the gate. "I can go talk to him about that though." The guy on the ground shook his head. "Oh, yes, I can." He grinned. "Considering I'd have to at least like whoever my twin brother was dating? Yup, sure do." He walked out to frisk the guy then hauled him up. "C'mon, let's go."

"Why do you have a sword?" he mumbled.

Xander grinned. "I love swords. Don't you love swords? They do a whole lot of happy things for me." The guy shuddered. "C'mon, let's go talk to your employer." He gave him a nudge. "I'm not patient by any means." The guy tried to run off so Xander followed him. He probably lived where his gang ruled so that was handy. He ran into a young gang kid on lookout and smiled. "Is he your dysfunctional person?" he asked with a point.

"Why do you have a sword?" the new kid asked.

"Because I like swords. It's this or I have guns." He pointed at them with a smile. "That one tried to take my twin. I'd like to talk to whoever sent him on that misguided mission of kidnaping."

"Not with weapons."

"Dude, don't even start," Xander said with a scary smile. He pointed behind him. "I'm usually found playing poker there." The guy looked and then shuddered, quickly looking away. "Now, let's talk to whoever sent him. Please."

"Hey, Knight, is it a huge problem?" one of the demons called.

He grinned at them. "One of their people wanted my twin for some reason. I wanted to meet them to make sure they understood the amount of wooing my twin needs and deserves." The demon shuddered. "Not like I did to Heldra. I'm not that cranky today. Though tomorrow...." He looked at the gang kid again and smiled. "So, where? I'm a bit new to the city so don't have all the street markings down yet."

The kid shook his head. "They'll skin me alive."

"So will I and then I'll laugh and sell you to someone across the street at the demon poker hall." The kid shuddered and backed away. "Fine, I'll go look. I'm sure there's other helpful people around." He walked off and ran into an older gang kid. "That one lookout is really pathetic," he said in greeting. "One of you wanted my twin for some reason. I'd like to make sure they understand what sort of treatment my twin deserves."

The guy looked at the sword then at him. "I've seen you over there."

"Yeah, you probably have," he agreed with a smile. "Was it you I needed to talk to or can you maybe point me at them?"

"They won't talk while you're armed."

Xander laughed. "I'm always armed. I learned that lesson training slayers in Africa." The guy backed up, shaking his head. "Yeah, I'm that Xander. The one they wanted was my twin Alex. Unless the guy he broke the jaw of got us mixed up?"

"No," he said, shaking his head quickly. "We heard you guys have weapons contacts. We were gonna negotiate."

"Yeah, we learned how to tinker weapons into being down there. There was a need, ya know." He smirked a tiny bit. "Then again, we also have agents looking over our shoulders thanks to our past service to humanity. I really don't want to treat you guys like I did Heldra when he took my twin but I'll be damned if I'm going to let him be taken. Or the ones we protect from their families killing them." He stared at him. "You guys can be happy contacts for information we might need to handle demon emergencies if you want but we don't sell weapons. We enjoy our babies too much to ever get rid of them unless it's the fate of the world or something meaningful like blowing up kidnapers."

"Understood, man." He backed up, hands held up. "I'll pass that on."

"Thank you. But hey, we do draw dangerous sorts and if they really wanted to date my twin brother, I'm not against that as long as they're good to him and treat him well. My twin deserves the very best after all the shit we've had."

"I'll see if anyone's looking. You have a safe night."

"You as well." He handed over a card. "If you see a problem at the demon bar, like it's being attacked or there's a mass riot starting, call us?"

"I can do that, man."

"Thank you. Have a happy night." He strolled off, heading home in a cab.

The gang leader went to talk to his higher ups. "You messed with the wrong crazy guy." He handed over the card. "He showed up with a sword and two guns worn like it was some old movie."

"Crap," the guy said, reading it. "He took out one of our weapons contacts by sleeping with him." He put the card down. "Why'd he give you that?"

"He's here to handle demon problems."

"Shit, one of them," he muttered.

"No, boss, two of them. They're twins. You nearly had his twin kidnaped. Since the guy showed up with a *sword*....."

"Yeah, he's too crazy for us."

"He said he's got agents looking over his shoulder too. Mentioned someone named Heldra?" The head of the local gang unit shuddered. "That bad?"

"Yeah, that's really bad. It made cops puke and that was because they took one of the twins. Yeah, we'll leave 'em alone and call if we need help with demon things. The ones who wanted to talk to that one are shit outta luck with us." They all nodded and left to hide for the night. That way they couldn't be contacted until all the bad was done with.

You did not mess with the crazy people. There was no telling what they'd do to you when you did. Especially when they had swords.


Alex was out getting some minor groceries when he ran into a crazy person. At least it was one that didn't want to burn them at the stake for handling demon emergencies. They'd met that priest last night when he tried to break into their house. Roque had not been amused to be woken up by the asshole's screaming in fear. "Didn't we tell you no repeatedly?" he quipped as he walked past that guy.

"See, the way this works is I bring you to my boss. That way your twin isn't going to get his nose out of joint."

Alex stared at him, shaking his head. "No, I think that'd make sure you both die, Wade." The man smirked. "We don't want you or your boss."

"We can change your mind."

"I doubt it."

"We can give you what you need to be bigger designers."

Alex shrugged. "It's not my calling in life. My calling in life is handling demon emergencies with the slayers. You or your boss wanting our asses isn't going to work with that." A nearby mother gasped and covered her daughter's ears as they moved off. He looked at her. "Good idea since he's a torturing psycho sort, ma'am." He looked at Wade again. "Is your boss going to be happy that you're bringing such attention to yourself?"

"He won't care. Those sort never say anything."

Jensen put a gun against Wade's head. "Disarm yourself," he said with a grin. "Slowly and carefully."

"You won't around civilians, Jensen. You're a geek," he snorted.

"It's not just me, Wade." He pointed behind him, where SWAT was waiting. Jensen had called them in when he had spotted Wade following Alex. "Disarm yourself. Slowly and carefully."

Alex walked off with a smile. "Thanks, Jensen."

"Welcome, Alex." He grinned at Wade. "We adore the twins. They're so neat. And they have neat weapons. Xander was teaching me how to use his battleaxe earlier."

Wade groaned but disarmed himself. The SWAT team moved closer to take him into custody. "Thank you, Corporal," one of them said.

"You're welcome." He grinned. "We don't like Wade any more than the twins do." He went to help Alex grocery shop, getting grinned at. "He followed you from the house here."

"That's fine. As long as he doesn't touch our protectees."

"No, he shouldn't. Besides, they probably know about that stuff. Others who would've wanted that warlord probably would've done the same thing." He handed over some bread, getting a smirk back. "Pooch is a picky doggy."

"It's probably thanks to his wife. We're pickier when we're around the slayers." A woman still in the store gave him a heated look. He stared back. She almost ran off. "We're due to check that spot next week."

"Xander said he was heading over there today. They had called to ask him to see if it felt like home?"

"We were born and raised in Sunnydale. It had the most active hellmouth for centuries," Alex said. "It opened a few times. The only better one to do it is Willow because she's the one that kept it closed for our eight years of fighting there." He walked on. "She's got links to it and Cleveland's."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

Xander looked at him. "Didn't you hack Finn's reports on the group?" he asked dryly. Jensen smirked and nodded. "Exactly. Still." He walked over to the yogurt and picked out some. "He did good writing down what the girls were doing and how they were like. Mine he based on Buffy and Willow's problems." He shrugged. "We're used to not being seen."

"That does suck but it has some benefits," Jensen said. He nodded at the officer following them. "I can protect him."

"We're hoping his boss shows up, Corporal."

Alex smirked evilly. "Max really wants my twin, not me." The officer moaned. "But he's aware of that problem so he's got...ideas."

Jensen shivered. "Now I know why Clay gets that 'gonna crap himself' look each time I get an idea." Alex hugged him and they walked on. Jensen sent Clay a text message about watching that twin harder.


That afternoon, Xander was smiling at the dog he was petting. "Do you like to play fetch, pupkins?" he teased as he petted his ear.

A male voice made a complaining grunting noise. "Is that a wolf?" he demanded coolly.

"Yes, it is," Xander said with a smirk at the man. "He's a very good wolf."

"He won't save you either," he said. "He's easily expendable, Xander."

"I dare say not," a male voice said off to the right. "Diefenbaker, this is a criminal." The wolf snarled at the man and moved closer.

"Call him off or lose him," he warned.

"I doubt that'll happen," another voice said, the guy getting out of the car. "Hey, howya doin'?" he asked dryly, smirking at the man. "Welcome ta Chicago."

"I've been here many times. Usually without this sort of greeting." He looked at one then the other. "Mounties?" he asked dryly. "I'm not Wade."

"No, Wade got caught by some of our finest earlier," Xander quipped, standing up. "But you are wanted in Canada. We learned really fast about how to talk to people so they could fill in our weak spots. It helps a lot."

The detective and Mountie moved closer to Max. "I doubt they'll be much help for you. I can easily end them, young man."

Xander pointed behind himself. "You pissed off the wrong beings as well. You took out one of their kids that was an ordained vessel for their god. That really made them mad and they won't be causing anyone but you problems." Max laughed until that one shot him in the leg. Then he screamed. Diefenbaker knocked him down and growled as he held Max's throat in his teeth. "Maybe you should learn there's some things you can't buy or own, Max. If you hadn't come near me, we probably wouldn't have had the vision or done more than act back when you did something stupid to our friends. Unfortunately, you did."

"They won't keep me," Max sneered.

"I don't care," Xander said. "Because if you break out, they have the right to ask us to have you declared fair game among the demons to be hunted and killed." He shrugged but smiled. "There's a lot of very good hunters among the communities. Including whole warrior clans. Not to mention promising the vampires that'll want to help all your people. The slayers won't interfere in a legal hunt." He crossed his arms over his chest. "So yeah, if you escape it's just as futile."

"I'll ruin you."

Xander shrugged. "You go for it, baby. I'm sure it'll give you some amusement. Then again, what are you going to ruin? You've already tried a few times with the Mayor over the ones we're protecting from the prices on their heads. Not like we didn't expect someone to do that. You just proved you've got that one dirty." Max laughed, smirking back, still holding his leg. "Diefenbaker, if you bite him, you'll probably catch whatever thing he's injected himself with." The wolf backed off at his human's motion. "Beyond that, dude, so pathetic compared to some of the ones who've wanted us. I mean, you're not worse than the former vengeance demon for women scorned and she's the one who set the bar. You can't make people the only flush toilet in a village for pissing you off. You can't make people eat their own intestines and live through it as it loops back around a few times. You can't even torture people like she did. So you're kinda pathetic on our scale of 'bad guys who want us'. Since we nearly married her? You're not gonna get this ass." He strolled off. "Have a happy life, Max."

"I looked up that one," Benton told his partner. "She was undeniably brutal, Ray."

"Yeah, I'm glad Stella never called her on me," he agreed. "I asked too." He looked at the demon. "You get yours?"

"We have a legal hunt authority on him," he said with a wicked grin. "We will wait until he escapes your human jailing." He looked at Max. "You and yours will fall. If we cannot, the others among the community can and will have fun with you and your people." He walked off.

Ray Kowalski pulled the guy to his feet, making him walk off once he was cuffed. "I'd hide in the jail if I was you," he quipped. "We're not nearly as nasty as they would be to you." Benton got the car door open for him. "Thanks, buddy. Dief, don't bite him but sit on him, kay?" The wolf hopped in to sit next to the bad guy so he could make sure he didn't move. Benton walked around to get in and Ray got in to drive.


One of the detectives in Kowalski's unit came in from his dinner break. "We have vampires staring at the prison from every side."

"Yeah, if that Max guy gets out, they've got a hunt order on him for screwing with 'em," Kowaski said as he typed up reports. "The new Council guys in town agreed they couldn't do a damn thing to protect him either because it was legal and all." He grinned at the detective. "So he'll have to be more creative in how to get free."

"We've warned everyone," the lieutenant called from his office. "And made sure through the twins that they're not going to touch any officers."

"That's good," the other detective said, going to his desk. "Are those council people staying?"

"Yeah. Homeland and their people agreed it would be best if they stayed here." Kowalski looked up at him. "It's seriously nasty where they were. They ended up accidentally taking over for a warlord to protect people. Homeland had to help 'em get back stateside." The detective shuddered. "But they seem like nice, goofy guys until you screw with 'em."

"Great," the other detective agreed. The others in the unit came in talking about the vampires who had flirted with them. "They're here for the high priority target they arrested today," he told them.

They all nodded they had heard that gossip and left it there for now. They'd hear more later when whatever happened did.


Clay's team was ready and following the caravan of bad guys going to their first hearing. They had two other criminals with Max and Wade, though they were in different transport vans. Wade was by himself because the police considered him more dangerous. They were right but Max was psychotic in the extreme and capable of anything. They had him in the special gear, including a muzzle and extra restraints. Of course, Max's other people tried to free him but they weren't going to manage it on the way to court. They had everything from helicopter and sniper support to demons waiting obviously and watching the caravan for their opportunity. Clay had no idea what Max had done, but he was sure it wasn't his business anyway.

Once in the courtroom, Jensen was 'hanging out' in the courtroom to help the officers watch. The CPD had been nicely agreeing that they wanted Clay's team's help this time when they saw exactly what Max had planned for them. No one wanted a nuclear device in LA Harbor. The Canadian Customs agents had found the initial shipment and confiscated it. So far no one had broken it out yet, it was in military control somewhere secret. Jensen had another reason for being there. He was waiting to shut down Max's bank accounts as he tried to use them. They had agents backing him up but he was better than they were.

When the judge saw how Max was brought in, he looked at the DA. It was the head DA, not a minor prosecuting attorney. That told the judge this was seriously bad. "Is that really necessary?" It could be made-for-news drama.

"Yes," the DA said simply, handing over a file. "His file from our government and the one from the Canadians, Your Honor."

He read it and blinked a few times. "Huh. I'm impressed you didn't just put a bag over his head." He looked up. "He needs to be able to verbally lie about how he wants to plead," he noted. The officers bringing him unbuckled the muzzle. "The DA has charges ranging from minor theft to conspiracy to treason, sir. Do you want an exact accounting? It'll take me hours apparently."

"Not guilty," Max said, smirking at him. "Not that it'll matter."

"Your Honor, we have been told that the demonic community has a hunt order on him," the DA said. "It's for his own safety if you refuse bail." The judge stared at him. "We have talked to the Council people who are now our problem solvers since our local slayer had to move for work. They have promised not to touch anyone else but him and his people, including the PD if they're attacked and this man, who uses the name of Max instead of a real name, gets free."

"That's kind of them. What did he do to them?" The DA handed over a thicker file. He read the first two reports and nodded. "Yeah, I'd kill him for taking out my kids too. Seems reasonable to me that they'd hate the ones who hurt their kids." He put that file aside. "Does he have an attorney yet?"

"The public defender's office has refused, sir, and stated he'd be going to the federal courts probably, plus there's a high risk of them getting dead for it, so they've deferred it to the federal public defenders office. They have not called back yet."

The judge nodded. "Do you have any plea for bail....Max?"

"I can pay whatever I need to."

"If the US hasn't conscripted your accounts," the DA said happily, smirking at him.

Max stared at him then smiled. "They won't get all of them. They never do."

"We'll see," the judge said. "Bail is denied. The defendant is remanded to federal agents because I agree, this is going to be a federal case."

A Homeland Security agent stood up. "I have the papers here to get him turned over, Your Honor. I was expecting to do this after he was logged into the jails." He walked them up and handed them to the bailiff, who handed them up. "We are aware he has some agents and others turned. I am not one. I'm actually on a specialty task force and was demanded to come here because I've seen worse than him and I do know about the demonic in some marginal way."

The judge looked at him. "Homeland deals with demons?"

"Before I was Homeland, I was a Ranger who dealt with demon menaces, sir."

"Oh, I see." He read those papers and signed them. "He's remanded to your custody."

"No, he's not," Jensen said, standing up and reading. "Sir, this is not the agent he claims to be." He walked up and handed over the dossier. "I was in contact with the Homeland department he claims to be from. This is the dossier of the agent they sent. They just alerted me he was found dead at the airport this morning." The 'agent' attacked Jensen, who fought him back. Then a blob under a bench seat flowed out and up the 'agent' to engulf him, making him scream. Jensen blinked. "Thank you for that help."

The demon smiled. "We appreciate you. You are like the Knights but sweeter," the demon said in a childish sing-song voice. "Do not let us see Finn's team."

"No, he's not being sent. They're sending Provends."

"He's not one of them naturally. He hunted for a good reason. We will ignore him." It flowed back under the bench seat, leaving a pile of dusty goo.

Jensen took his netbook back. "Provends is the one on the second tab, Your Honor." He looked at it then nodded. "They said he'll be here in two hours," he told the DA.

"That's fine. We'll gladly hand him over when he does. I hope he has people."

"I'm sure he will," Jensen quipped.

"Who are you? Just for the record," the judge asked.

"Corporal Jake Jensen, Your Honor. Max had a plan to use my team that would've ended up with a nuclear bomb in LA's Harbor."

"Charming," the judge said dryly. "Is your team all right?"

"Yes, sir, and helping. We'll be damned."

"Good. I like that attitude." He banged his gavel. "Stick him somewhere safe until agents can take him. Yes, I'll allow enhanced restraints in his case." They rebuckled the muzzle and walked him off. Jensen followed the officer to make sure he had him in sight. Wade got led in next. The judge took the thicker folder. "Oh, great. Another one."

"His top minion, Your Honor. Though, Canada will be coming for this one because he's one of theirs."

"I'm sure they're horrified," the judge said, looking through that file. "Huh." He looked at Wade. "You can use the enhanced restraints on this one too. I'm not sure he's not a cannibal as well." He stared at him. "Do you want a full accounting of your crimes, sir? And how do you plead against them?"

"Not guilty."

"Fine. Remanded into custody as a risk of flight and to hand over for extracting." He banged his gavel and they walked Wade off. The judge got up and went to look under that bench. "How long have you been there?"

"Just today to protect the normals," it said with a smile. "We'll leave later, when people won't get scared because I flow instead of walk."

"That's fine. Thank you for not making people panic. We like that." He went back to his seat. "Any others this bad?"

"No, sir, your other two are normal assholes," the minor prosecuting attorney said from her seat. "One who beat his woman and his kids because he was high. One who was robbing places to get high."

"Thank you, God," he shot back. "I hate the special cases." They were brought in. "Are we going to be asking for high bail?"

"Yes, sir, but not into the same area of the facility as those two."

"I'll plea for rehab," one said. "That way I'm nowhere near those two."

The judge nodded. "We might hear that plea. Give me a preliminary and then we'll see if you can work something out today." The case got read out and they agreed to plea. They were lead to a side room to talk about it. The other one pleaded guilty and wanted a plea deal so he didn't have to get near Max and Wade either. The judge considered that a fine, reasonable thing and agreed to hear their deals within a few hours.


Max's people got him and Wade out of the transport once the Homeland agents had them to change jails. They got pounced on immediately to keep them from fleeing. The demons moved in to help too. Wade was critically injured and a vampire took over him. Max was fighting but not that well. His arm was cut off and he screamed but managed to get away from the demon holding his arm. He ran for one of the waiting cars and they sped off.

Xander had followed the vampire to his lair. "No, you can't keep him as a minion."

"He'll be good to torture. He seems to like it," the vampire said. Wade was struggling to get free of his grip. The vampire ignored it.

"Yeah but he likes to be the one torturing others. Beyond that, he'll come after us and he'll be dust anyway. You know we'll snipe him with a crossbow the first time he steps into the night. And if you don't, I'm going to tell Buffy you turned him to flirt with her."

The vampire grimaced. "That's so sick."

"Yeah, we think so too," Xander said with a grin. "We like to stake her new boyfriends a whole lot. Do you want to lose that one to her or us?"

"No," he complained. "Fine. Let me finish him off?"

"I don't care how he dies as long as he doesn't come back," Xander said dryly. He walked off. "We'll be watching but thank you for preventing further problems."

The vampire grimaced but shrugged and settled in to finish off this nummy meal. In the distance he heard a BOOM and winced. "Yeah, the twins are mad. It's always best not to piss off the Knights." He got a few friends over to help him feast. There was too much blood here for just him.


Max got out of the car and headed for the private plane. Until it suddenly went up with a BOOM and he had to duck out of the way of flying, flame-ridden debris. He blinked at his plane then his minion, who was now dead. The two demons standing there smiled. He backed away. "You'll never get me to admit I was wrong."

"You'll face justice and then our justice, human. Many of them want what's left of your soul before we get to it." Behind them, sirens were coming their way. "If you try to run, we get to hunt you down for fun then hand you over after a suitable...discussion." Max glared. Then he was pounced by a familiar wolf. "We've heard of you," he said, bowing to the wolf staring at them. "You do good things. We will see him when you humans have had your say," he told the wolf's protector.

"That's reasonable. Thank you kindly for that mercy."

The second demon smiled. "We will save your people from having to do more than condemn him."

"What happened to the plane?" the Mountie asked.

"The ones he wanted to own said no. The Knights are not slaves and they hate slavers. They learned that in Kenya." The demons followed, helping drag Max's bruised, damaged body to the rest of the police. They smiled at the officers.

"Thank the two vampires trying to help the officers," the head agent said. "The officers will be fine thanks to them." They nodded and got out of the way. He stared at Max. "Let's get you some treatment for that before I need to find surgeons to clean it up." He nodded at Benton and the wolf. "Have a better night, Constable." He got in after Max and they drove off.

Benton looked at his wolf. "You did very good." His wolf barked. "You can have some jerky. I don't have any donuts, Diefenbaker." He walked off. The wolf followed, going to steal some from his human's friend and partner. He always had sweets around to treat them both.


The officer who made it to Alex first stared at him. His supervisor had warned him about a set of twins. This guy looked like the ones he had been warned about. "What did that?"

"Something we cobbled together in Zaire," he said with a smile. "That's why Homeland has us putting out designs so we can sell them officially so we can support ourselves and our protectees."

The officer stared at him. Yup, he had been warned. "You had that where, sir?"

"In the safe. We needed it." He shifted his weight. "We're off six years of training slayers in Africa." The officer winced. Alex grinned. "We did okay but there were problems and battles and we needed stuff so we had to cobble together with what we could find. Not like there was a huge kitten poker circuit down there to win things that we could turn into weapons."

The officer rubbed his head then stared at him. "So you and your twin are weapons designers?"

"We needed it and now the agents in Homeland want us to do it officially for our livelihood so they can watch over our shoulders and if the slayers need something huge. That way they don't have to find things suddenly."

"That makes more sense. Is your vault secure?"

"I'd hope so with the simple and partially magical system we have built in."

"We'd like to make sure."

"Come over after their kids go to school tomorrow."


"We had to bring back a few people we were protecting because their families put a price on their blood for daring to not still be slaves." The officer slumped, shaking his head. "They have a social worker who watches over them and we're helping them get used to being free people, including putting their kids in a really good school and stuff."

"That's good. We'll talk tomorrow after those kids go to school."

"Okay. We're used to the social worker just popping in." He shrugged and grinned. "We don't want to use the babies. We really like to save them for bigger things than Max but I didn't have time to go wire a bomb on the plane."

"Don't tell me that."

"Okay, I won't." He walked around him, carrying the case.

"Is there more in there?" the officer asked, seeing how heavy it had to be.


He took the case. "I'll bring it with me, Mr. Harris."

"Sure." He grinned. "We had to cobble that together after a battle. That's what's left after two more huge battles." He left before the officer quit having that headache look and got mad at them for it.

The officer took the case back to his boss, grunting at the weight as he put it onto the work and briefing table. "They make weapons?"

"They do?" the head of the SWAT team said.

"The Homeland agents that helped them get home said so apparently. I said we'd like to see their vault in the morning."

"Yeah, we'd like that," he agreed. He opened the case. "That's kind of ugly."

"It blew up a plane."

"So that's what he used," another officer said, looking at it. "That's not pretty but it worked." They all nodded, taking the film to look at how it was. It was smaller yet stronger than what they were used to.


Alex walked in. "We've got a vault inspection tomorrow morning, my evil other half."

Xander leaned out of the kitchen, handing him some food on a plate. "We have guards tonight anyway." He pointed at the two officers. "They followed me home."

"Cool. Hey, guys. Did the kids get to bed on time?" They nodded, staring at them. He grinned. "Good. They still won't stay in the house with us." He walked off eating. "Let me go clean up."

"Jensen's using most of the hot water," Xander quipped.

"Maybe he'll scrub my back. Jensen's sweet."

"Straight but ask him yourself," Pooch said dryly as they passed in the hall.

Alex went to tease Jensen, who did say he was straight but if he was going to go for cute guys it'd be either Xander or Cougar. Which got him swatted by his roomie Cougar. Xander went to clean up and go to bed. He was tired. It had been a long day.

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