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Big Brothers Unite. Or At Least Find Some Sanity and Friends.

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Notes: Inspired by: _RED's In This Season_ by Cimila and _With Drums and Guns_ by lzg, which inspired the 'Phil Coulson is their son' part of this story. It was her idea to do that first but I can't find anywhere to contact her to ask for her permission to borrow that little plot point.


The bunny itself came from Anne-Marie on my Imaginings list (09/18/15):

Ever since I went and read the story with Victoria and Ivan being Coulson's parents all I've been able to think of is that after seeing how the son the gov wanted Victoria to get rid of turned out, they decided they wanted one to serve them, but to be sure of loyalty they added a third parent James Bond who is very loyal to queen and country. Bond found out about Xander during a mission, but Xan's origins were classified as being a leverage on Bond and the gov did not want to find out what Victoria would do to the gov which pulled this off after trying to get her to abort Phil before never mind what Ivan would do. What big brother Phil and Xander would talk about comparing their lives when they meet "I deal with the Avengers" "I deal with baby slayers" "You WIN". The conversation between the parents, especially when Victoria and Ivan find out Bond knew. The parents and Phil's (and Avengers) reaction to Xander's abusive upbringing and his dating history (obviously taking after Bond). GRIN Like I said I haven't been able to stop thinking about this.
Big Brothers Unite. Or At Least Find Some Sanity and Friends.

The not-Xander noticed someone in a suit stomping toward him, pulling a gun. It could be a problem, or it could be someone mad about a demon problem. Who knows. The guy was sneering though so he was a problem. The guy tried to hit him and not-Xander moved them away from the camper's door. The guy bounded off something and the gun easily caught him in the leg. Not-Xander looked down at the guy on the ground with his gun pointed firmly in the guy's forehead. It had only been a graze. "First, never try kung fu/parkour bullshit against someone who deals in faster, sneakier, and meaner things," he said blandly. "We're used to that sort of move and can plan against it. Second, who the fuck are you?"

"The kids," he said, sitting up. His head wasn't bulletproof and he could do something better in a second, once he was on his feet.

"Fat chance. I'm protecting those kids, including from people like you."

The guy touched his glasses with a wince. "Merlin said to relax, Xander."

"I'm not Xander. I'm Gray." He smirked. "And if Merlin had sent you, you wouldn't have tried taking me out first, dipshit."

The guy listened. "Merlin said...." He held out the glasses. "Here, you talk to him."

"I don't really want to. They could be poisoned or anything. Not like I haven't seen things like that before," he said blandly. The guy glared. "I can kill your dumb ass instead. Go inside, kids."

"Who's he?" one of them said, leaning out further.

"I don't know but he's claiming someone we trust sent him. Even though he tried something dumb."

"Merlin said to talk to him directly, Gray."

He snatched the glasses to put on. "What?"

"Gray, it's me," Merlin said. "I sent him to protect the children. Something huge is going on. Someone told him that you were the one who took the kids."

"I did, from the assholes who made them. Because fuck all that's going to keep going on."

"We appreciated that. Someone's coming for the kids."

"I can handle that without parkour boy."

"You can't. There's a huge bit of news too."

"What news?" Gray demanded.

"Your brother's...."

"Dead, I knew that. Though I'm still going to kill someone over that."

"Not hardly. We spotted him the other day when we had an alien invasion in London. Somehow his boss tampered."

"Is that going to call the First Evil again?" Gray asked dryly. He was still staring at this agent. The guy was about his age. Clearly not deadly enough since he wasn't trying to flirt. Only the deadly sort liked them enough to flirt. It was a good measurement of badass and bad people.

"No. We hope not. I waylaid him and asked him about you. He's got all his memories but his face did this cramping look when I mentioned you. Also, your mum's found out."

"Great! If it was safer, I'd let the kids go visit grandma."

"We have a granma?" the kids squealed. They had learned about them from some of the mini slayers they worked with and played with.

Gray grinned back at them. "Yes, you do. I wasn't hatched from an egg, guys. It's just not safe for us to introduce you. There's idiots. That's why I told you four that there's only a few people who you can trust. Who are they?"

"Mr. Frank, Mr. Clint, and Mr. Merlin," the kids chimed.

"Very good." He smiled then at the agent guy. He finally decided to put his gun up.

"Is Merlin a wizard?" one asked. "Like in the book you read to us? They all swore to Merlin instead of any gods."

"Not exactly," the guy on the ground said. He sat up, putting some pressure on the graze on his leg. "He's amazing but only does magic with computers."

"Ooooh." The kids shared a look.

One hopped down, walking over to stare at him. "Are you a wizard like Harry was?"

He smiled. "I knew someone named Harry but he wasn't a wizard. He was an agent. A good bloke. He worked with Merlin too."

The kid nodded, then kicked him in the nuts. The guy groaned. "You're not one of the ones we're supposed to trust." She skipped back to the camper, climbing back inside. "I'm getting a drink, Gray."

"Sure. Don't spill it. We won't hit a town for two days." He looked at the guy. "Wow, you passed training with that?" Merlin was giggling. "So?" he demanded. "Now what?"

"We need you and your twin to show back up. Let Galahad protect you, Gray. Someone's mad that your mother found out about the kids. She's having a bit of a temper. I sent an agent to talk to her about things. She didn't know about you."

"I figured that or I would've seen her. Okay. Where are we falling back to? And I have a battle in two days. Xander has one in six. His is bigger so I've got to finish mine then hurry to his."

"We'll meet you with his. Where?"


"Great. All right, take Galahad with you. He's got his own supplies and he can at least watch the kids during the battles if not help."

"If they're coming, they should probably be watched."

"Hmm. We're not sure if your mom's friends won't show up first and you don't know all of them. I'll send him their dossiers so he can share and you can prep the kids before they meet your mother. She nearly destroyed the agent I sent."

"Hmm. Well, Agent Ass Wiggle might've helped more."

"Point. I hadn't thought about him. All right, take him with you. You don't have to pamper him. He's got survival training."

"Fine. Any other commands, Merlin?"

"Yeah, I'll do a supply drop to Lesotho. I need their sizes. I doubt they have anything you'd want your mother to meet them in, or you."

"We just got them new clothes but they could use some new kevlar gear."

"I can handle that. Hand the glasses back to Galahad." Xander tossed them over. Merlin sighed. "Who briefed you on this?" he asked.


"An idiot and his mouth need to part," Merlin complained. "I'll brief you while you travel with him to help him protect the kids. He's got an unusual twin who has the other three kids. Also be aware you may see agents from another agency. If so, don't destroy them. At all. No matter how sneering they are. Got it?"

"Yes, Merlin." He stood up. "I hid my pack in the bush," he said, going back to get it and coming back. "Sorry, Gray. All I heard was you weren't supposed to have those kids."

"Bullshit. I saved them from the assholes who made them without their parents' consent or help. Just like they did me." He walked off. "I've got to dump the waste. You might want to stay over there."

"Sure. Whatever you need me to do until we can meet up."

"Good boy," Merlin said. "Watch the kids, they're sneakier than you are."

Galahad looked at them, smiling some. "Hi, kids. I'm Galahad." He waved a bit.

"You're a knight?" one asked. "Wow. No armor like Big Brother wears." He shrugged. "Boring knights with manners and stuff." He walked off. The others followed him to the back bedroom so they could watch their 'big brother' dump the nasty stuff.

"Eww, poo hole!" the kids complained. "Yucky!" The two adults laughed.

Merlin cleared his throat. "All right, open your tablet." Galahad did that and the dossiers was downloaded. "See the first six?"


"Trust them. That's his brother, his brother's agent since his brother's a handler, his mother, his father, a local contact, and one of their friends that knows about all this who was noted to be traveling that way."

Galahad paged through it, nodding. "I know that name. We heard about her in class."

"Yeah, you do. Long story short, they hated she got pregnant with her first kid, tried to make her abort it. Saw how good he was doing and took the opportunity when she got shot in the stomach to remove an ovary and make a second kid, which she did not know about. She's all but destroyed Arthur. He's still getting stitches after four hours. She cleaned her nails genteelly. We should've tried to get her when she was younger." The sound of him sipping some coffee. "Notice his father is Russian."

"I did. That's...."

"Her people had an absolute fit and had her try to kill him. She shot him three times and she's so good he woke up a few days later from the very close shot. Missed by millimeters. On purpose. She's still in practice by the way. I've told her I sent you to watch over her son, but no one's told her about the kiddies yet."

Galahad nodded. "I'd want some better bulletproof armor when you do. The ones trying to harm them?"

"Could be anyone from his big brother's boss, who would love such a legacy, to others who started the program to create such a legacy, to those who would want to start their own by taking the kids in to train them. Not that I think they'd manage it. Those kids are more stubborn than I am, each. Then they combine it. Watch out."

"I felt." He looked back, smiling. "Merlin's telling me about the guys I gotta protect you four from."

She nodded, sucking her thumb. "Is Merlin nice?"

"Yeah, he's pretty decent." He grinned. "Maybe you can meet him soon."

"That'd be nice. We need more uncles who read. Do you read?" she asked, moving closer.

"I do read and I'll gladly do it in a few minutes." He put a hand on his gun. "No lifting from me," he said with a smirk. She slapped him on the cheek with a smile then skipped back to the back area.

Merlin was clearly amused. "Told you so. Share those. I've sent the major players who might want the kid to the tablet for you to share. He's going to hit Fury. I'm going to hit Fury too though so one only needs to see who gets there first."

"Sure, I can do that. Any other orders?"

"If you're in the battle, wear the suit. Even if it's too hot, it'll help protect you from poisoned claws and the like. We're working on upping that coating so the demon product covered bullets can't graze you again." He hung up before going to scream at someone for prepping the young agent for this mission.

Galahad turned off the glasses, staring at Gray when he came back. "I've got dossiers for you to go over. Including on your mum and dad, plus on your big brother. There's also a lot of bad guys."

"It figures. That's why my twin and I guard the kids from everyone."

"Why did Merlin call you unusual twins?"

"Well, we're not natural twins."

"Then why are you two? Clones?"

"Troll hammer."

"Troll.... huh?"

Gray grinned. "Troll hammer. Mystical troll hammer." He walked around him. "I'm moving us. Even with the hole filled it still stinks."

"Sure." He climbed in and closed the door, locking it. "Four kids and a baby?" he guessed.

"Yeah. The baby's a baby slayer. We're taking her to a better slayer mommy. Her mother's village got destroyed and she ordered me to. Check her diaper?"

"I can do that. I've got a baby sis." He checked the baby's diaper, smiling at her. "Hi, luv. Are you okay? Wet? Nasty?" The baby cooed and kicked, making goofy faces. "That's good. Happy babies are a treasure." He settled in to feed her the bottle one of the older kids handed him. "You guys need things like diapers?" They all looked grossed out and shook their heads. "That's fine then. After I feed her I'll read to you guys?" They nodded, settling in with a book for him to read.

Yeah, he could handle this. Not much worse than his baby sister. Yet. Though he hoped his baby sister never cuddled weapons like these ones did. It was a bit weird how they decided to snuggle up to a sword like it was a teddy.


Gray pulled into the battle site at Lesotho. He got out, heading over to the other camper, leaning in. "Small update."

"I've heard rumors," his twin said, turning to look at him. He had three babies.

"Merlin sent an agent." His twin glared. "To save us. Our mother's heard. Big brother's not dead." His twin was growling. "Merlin said their higher up had to get four hours of stitches thanks to our mother. So we have Galahad helping with the kids. But he does have a baby sister so the kids don't do more than creep him out when they try to steal his gun."

"That's nice." He took the tablet his twin was holding out to look through. "Wow."


"Who brought our brother back and do we have to worry about the First Evil?"

"No. It was alien."

"Fuck. I thought the Asgardian guys were weird."

"Merlin spotted him in London thanks to Asgard sharing their problems."

"I saw that footage." He handed it back. "Sure, I can handle that. The other guy?" He looked over his shoulder. "I've seen your picture. One of the bigger slayers spotted you."

"Could be. I've had a few missions."

"Cool. What are your orders? I ask because if I have to kill you I'll use you as a poker stake."

"That's nasty," Galahad said with a smile. He wanted to stay on these two's good side. "I'm to protect the kids. If you need my help with the battle, I can if I know what I'm doing, but otherwise I'm to protect the kids. You got three?"

"Yeah. I took the smaller group since they're so young."

"We dropped the baby slayer off on Nirat," Gray told him.

"Cool. I'm sure her mother will be happy to watch over her."

"She was having 'my daughter's too grown up' feelings and we arranged for the baby's stipend to come to her so they're not suffering." He leaned in the doorway. "They mobile yet?"

"Not really. A few attempts at crawling." He glanced at them then back at his twin. "I think they're hiding it from me."

"Cool. We can bring them to my camper for the battle. Three hours?" Xander nodded. "Okay." He came up to grab the diaper bag and some formula and bottles to premake.

"I've got it. I've got a baby sis and my mum didn't breastfeed," Galahad said. He took one of the kids to look at, getting smiled at. "It's good you're happy. One of the kids snuck out, I can hear giggling about mud."

Gray looked back. "Mud later, guys. We've got a battle in a few." They carried the babies over and Galahad settled in to watch over them while the twins made plans, checked weapons, and dealt with locals.

Galahad looked over as a guy walked casually toward him. "Frank Moses," he said in greeting.

"Do I know you, kid?"

"Merlin sent me. I'm Galahad. He sent me your edited dossier."

"Oh, one of them. We've heard. Your boss walking again?"

"Hopefully. I'm watching the kids while they have a battle."

"That's nice." He walked to the other camper, knocking on the side first. The door opened. "Xander."

"Gray," he corrected but smirked. "Xander's inside." He stared at him. "It's not really safe here."

"I can handle artillery. Your mother's a few miles away. Your dad's pacing."

"We.... Does she know all of it?"

"Not exactly. We told her about how you came into being and how you had made sure they didn't have any other kids, but that she had grandkids. She's livid."


"I'm out of range. Sarah's helping her angst. Want to bring the kids there?"

"Not yet. Let's handle the battle. The campers both hold weapons."

"I can just cart the kids, leaving you with the rookie."

"He is?"

"He's had a few missions. He's a first year guy though. Good but a first year guy. Too fancy too."

"Yeah, he tried to parkour an attack on me," Gray said dryly. "I pointed out how stupid that was. Merlin told him he got told the wrong things."

"Figures. Want me to bring them with me?"

"You sure they can be safe? I've heard others are looking for them. Including from Agent Ass Wiggle."


"Young, cute guy that looks like that guy on that fake history show?"

"Oh, him. He calls me Grandpa," he said blandly.

Xander smirked back at him. "I'd call you daddy, Frank, but you're taken."

"Thanks, Xander." He took the tablet to look over, nodding. "Yeah, they're a problem and I've seen Fury. I'll let your parents have him."

"Did she know our brother was dead?"

"No." Frank smirked. "I'll let her know though. Let me take all the kids. I'll send the rookie back." He handed back the tablet. "I'm evacuating the kids to grandma and grandpa so they can get the fussing out of the way first. Then you and I are coming back to help with the battle, kid."

"Fine. Is that what you wanted, Gray?"

"Yeah, that's fine. They like to clap at the artillery but it'll be fine I guess. Or we'll come rescue you guys."

"Sure." He gathered up everything, taking the kids to the van Frank had. They all got strapped into car seats and Frank drove them off. "She's going to attack me?"

"No. I'll explain it." They made it to the hotel a few minutes later. "We should probably get the car seats upstairs too just in case." He got a cart from the hotel clerk and they got the kids upstairs. They were staring at things but only one went to check out a fake plant. Galahad herded her back to the group. Frank knocked on the right door, staring at the woman. She was tall, had white/silver hair, looked regal, and was dressed down in clothes that she could kill someone in but not worry about getting messy in. "Don't hurt the kid. Galahad got sent by Merlin to guard 'em. They even tried to screw him up before Merlin heard."

"That's charming of Merlin," she said dryly. "Who are these delightful, scary children?"

"The ones your sons were raising," Galahad said. "Something about a group that made him too."

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

"It gets worse," Frank said. "We found out that Fury did something to Philip. He had apparently been dead for a while."

She stared. "I'm going to torture that man," she said with a smile. "Thank you, Frank."

"We've gotta get back to the battle, ma'am," Galahad said.

She flapped a hand. "I can watch my grandchildren. Be safe. I wish to see my son...."

"Sons," Frank said. "Somehow there's two."

"Gray said a troll hammer," Galahad said, looking at him. "I never did get that explained."

She sighed, then sucked in a deep breath. "I'll find that out myself in a few hours, boys. Let me have the children."

"Watch for guys like Fury," Galahad said. "Merlin sent me thirteen dossiers for just the head people that want them. I can share later."

She patted him on the cheek. "They'll be totally safe with me, Galahad." The kids got put inside with the cars seats and diaper bags. "Have a good battle, boys." They nodded and left. She sat down, staring at the children. "Are you my grandchildren?" she asked with a smile. They grinned at her.

One of the older ones walked over to her and hugged her. "Granma. Big brother just told us about you." He snuggled in. "Granmas are nice."

"I do try," she said, smiling down at him. "Would you others like hugs?"

They pounced her to cuddle. "You do cuddle good," one of the girls cooed.

"Thank you, sweetheart." She looked over as the suite's door opened. "There's been a few alternations to the plans, Ivan. Oh, Sarah, can you check the babies?"

"Sure. They scare me but I've sat a few of them." She checked them, they were sleeping and didn't need a diaper change. "They seem okay." She sat down. "Hi, guys. I'm Sarah."

"We don't know you," one said.

"I work with Frank."

"We trust Mr. Frank," another said. "Big brother said to."

"That's great." She smiled and patted that one on the head. "It'll be okay. You have a great grandma and grandpa. This is Ivan, he's Grandpa."

The older four stared at him then toddled over to hug him. He said something in Russian. They babbled back at him in Latin. He laughed, sitting down to hug them. "It's good to finally meet you." They grinned, patting him. He looked at his wife. "How do we have grandchildren?"

"I'm not totally sure yet." She shifted to cross her legs. "Frank and Galahad will be back after helping our twin sons at the battle."

"Twins?" he said. He nodded. "Were they twins before?"

"Galahad said a troll hammer caused it."

"Interesting. We'll have to hear that story." He looked at the children. "Do you like stories?" They smiled and nodded. "We can tell many stories." Sarah moved so they could sit the children between them on the couch. They had many stories to share.

"Tell us about Mr. Frank?" one asked. "Big brother said to always trust him."

"Yes, we have many stories about Frank," Victoria said, smiling at them. She could rant and scream later when she got told the whole story. For now, she'd stay calm and handle things.


Xander and Gray came out of hosing off the demon goo and blood, pulling on clean t-shirts over their camp shorts. Frank and Galahad were both cleaned up already and waiting on them. They locked the camper, Gray walking over to a soldier staring at them. "The battle's done. We have family in town with our kids. We're going to gather them. Don't touch the campers, it's got a magical security system." The soldier nodded. "Go ahead and burn the field clean whenever you're ready."

"Thank you," he said. "Any more?"

"There shouldn't be. If so, call," Xander said, waving his phone. The soldier nodded, calling that in. "We'll be back later tonight." They walked off together.

Galahad was staring at his hands. "That was truly the most nasty thing I've ever seen," he said.

Frank nodded. "Ditto."

"We've had worse," Gray quipped.

"Last month," Xander agreed. "We had to scrub with sand. It was in the Sahara."

Galahad stared at them. "Eww!"

"Yup." The twins grinned at him. "Welcome to demon slaying. Then the slayers will nag."

Galahad stared at them then shook his head. "You two are barmy."

"Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do," Frank said dryly. "Even if it's nasty. As long as it doesn't color change me, give me gifts, or create infections, it came off."

"Some demon goo doesn't come off without a lot of chemical help," Gray agreed. "Because you have to break the goo down by chemical means then wash. We usually have some of that made up. We need to make some more, evil twin of mine."

Xander smirked. "I have a bottle but I could use more, yeah." Frank got them into the van and took off with them. "We have all the laundry stuff we need to make more of too." Gray nodded he did too.

"Need Merlin to find you supplies?" Galahad asked.

"Maybe. It's all special soaps and the like. We can find most of it in Sun City. We were heading that way soon. There's an ascension and we need to steal some artillery first."

"What's an ascension?" Frank asked.

"A human turning into a giant demon worm. We had one at our high school graduation," Xander said. Frank looked back at him. They nodded. Frank groaned, shaking his head. "Ninety feet."

"I don't need to know," Frank ordered.

"If you find one, take off the head," Gray said. "That's the only way to kill it."

Galahad tapped on his glasses. "Merlin, do we have stuff we can help them with for that upcoming ascension?" He listened, then nodded. "He's drinking pepto after seeing that battle and yes, he can find you some gear if you need it."

"We might. We have no idea if he'll be in the open or if we have time to rig a building to blow the head off again."

"I'm all for doing that the easy way," Xander agreed. "Maybe using some people on death row to bait it this time."

"We can figure that out," Frank decided. "Because you two are insane."

"It's the job," they said together.

"Clearly." The van pulled up in front of the hotel and Frank parked it then got out. "C'mon. Time to get the screaming out of the way."

"Can you have Merlin pull up those files?" Xander asked, handing over the tablet to Galahad.

"Merlin, can you?" he asked. They were downloaded onto his tablet as they went up the elevator. He smiled as they walked in, him handing it over. "Ma'am, sent by Merlin."

She settled in to glance over it, then glared at her spouse. He took it to look over. "Oh, dear," he said. He looked at the boys. "If we had known...."

"You probably would've had some troubles in Sunnydale," Xander said. He looked around. "Did they run away?"

"They're napping," Victoria said. "We could have extracted you."

Xander took the tablet to log into a site, letting her see the file on the old Mayor. "He had things blocked for his needs."

She read it, grimacing. "That's disgusting."

Gray looked then nodded. "We have one of those in Sun City in a few weeks. You have to cut off the head."

Frank took it, walking off to read it with Sarah. "I was right, that's gross." She nodded, turning a bit green.

Victoria looked at the boys. "Had you known?"

"We found out when I was twelve," Xander said.

"How are there two of you?"

"Troll hammer, for the second time. We decided not to try to get put back together again." They shrugged in unison. "It's nice having someone who understands you and goes with you when you're clubbing or trolling for arms dealers to date."

"Which is how we ended up picking up Frank and Martin one week," Gray finished. "It was nice that they didn't want to kidnap us but they were mad at the arms dealers we were sexing up. It was a desperate thing but they weren't that bad in bed and believed in our pleasure too."

Ivan stared at them. "Why would you court that sort?"

"Only the really deadly like them," Frank said. "Feel lucky your daughter-in-law isn't a former vengeance demon."

"Halfrek?" Victoria guessed.

"Anyanka," they said in unison and smiled.

"We loved the nympho, money grubbing ho, but her friends were right, we would've been miserable. She wasn't ready to settle down anyway," Gray said. "She proved it by losing her job again after getting it back because we left her at the altar."

Victoria sat down, staring at them. "Well, at least you're not squeamish."

"No but we still helped stop the Initiative."

"Good!" Frank said with a wave. "I would've too if I had heard." The twins grinned at him. One of the kids snuck out and he stared at him. "Hi. Which one are you?"

"Toby." Toby ran over to cuddle them. "You have a good nap?"

"Granma cool," he said with a beaming smile. "Granpa have stories."

"That's wonderful." Gray took him to cuddle. "It's great that you love them, Toby." He grinned and waved at the adults then snuggled in. Xander took him. "Okay, you can have big kid snuggles."

"Big kid snuggles are great. They don't puke down your back." Victoria smiled. "I have the three little ones while he gets the four big kids."

"There's charming things about both ages, boys. Sit, please." Galahad sat over by Frank. "Did we see any problems, Galahad or Frank?"

"I thought I saw Fury lurking," Frank said.

"Merlin said he spotted him watching," Galahad agreed. "He also spotted Franklin Moris."

Frank pulled up that dossier, looking it over. "Hmm. His new world order would probably love the kids as a next generation."

Gray snorted. "They'd kill him *so* damn fast. My kids know not to trust guys like that."

"They're good enough that one got me in the balls," Galahad told Victoria when she looked over.

"That's very talented at their age." She smiled, taking the baby from him. "Nap on me, Toby. I'm very comfortable." He snuggled in, cuddling her shoulder. "Such a good baby."

"When they want to be," Gray said. He sat down. Xander sat next to him.

"All babies have that," Ivan said. "Your older brother used to find ways to play with our knives from what I'm told."

Victoria smiled at him, nodding. "Yes. He did. Have you met Philip?"

"Yeah. We met a few years back," Gray said with a smile. "We had lunch then his cocksucking boss found out and sent him to Liberia and we had to go back on patrol."

"We had lunch before he went to New Mexico too. That was right after Sunnydale fell in."

She blinked at them. "You two obviously have an interesting history."

"Slightly." They grinned. "But now we're one of the few sane watchers there are. We're training the girls so they can stay home and guard their own peoples. The new Council was changed and we helped make sure of it."

"That's good, considering what they used to be like."

"First Evil blew them up," Xander said.

"We rebuilt it around our team and the slayers that made it through that battle," Gray added.

"I feel really sorry for them being in London," Frank said.

The twins smiled at him. "Cleveland," they corrected. "The London building got blown up."

"We're making due with about a hundredth of the people we used to have, and none of them want to kill us all the time. Unlike the old head."

Frank shook his head. "Don't tell me that. I'll find his grave so your mother can dig him up and set him on fire."

"I'm pretty sure he's already in hell for how he treated the girls," Xander quipped. "I'm hoping they're having a lot of fun with him."

Galahad touched his glasses frame. "Merlin said he finally remembered to remove the price on your heads that the old guy did."

"Thank him for us."

"He said you're welcome."

"What device are you using?" Ivan asked. Galahad paused then tapped his glasses when Merlin gave him permission. "Ah!" He nodded. "Frames that ugly had to be NIH." He shook his head. "Tell him he still owes me ten dollars from that poker bet."

"He said he'll send it later. Your son is in London at the moment. He was going to snatch him away from his team. Said something's weird about his team."

The twins nodded. "May's a robot because she made herself be and Ward's just wrong somehow," Xander said. "His little protege is weird in another way that sets off my slaying warning senses."

Galahad paused then nodded. "He said thanks, he'll make sure before an agent goes to steal him for a bit. He'd really like to recruit him too."

Victoria cleared her throat. "I would prefer my sons were out of such businesses."

The twins shrugged. "Someone's got to train the slayers," they said together.

She nodded. "I understand what a calling that is. I do wish you had happier jobs." She leaned over to touch Xander's cheek underneath his eyepatch. "Injured?" she asked quietly.

"Minion's fingernail popped it."

"Right before Sunnydale fell in after a battle," Gray said.

She looked at them then at her original son. "You went into a battle with that?"

"About three weeks afterward, yup." He nodded. "No other real choice. Going into the hellmouth was nasty but necessary if we wanted to save the rest of everyone."

"Before you ask, the ones who raised them died in that," Frank said. "I went looking when I found out. They refused to evacuate by the notes handed to FEMA."

"We did try to keep track," Xander said. "Just in case."

Victoria looked over. "How long have you known about them?"

"Two years before the town fell in," he admitted. "Philip knew about a year before it fell in."

"It was too dangerous," Ivan realized. The boys both nodded.

"Then we found they were trying again," Gray said. "We fixed that shit pretty damn quick then took the kids with us. Thankfully we had been flirting with Merlin at a bar the night before we found out."

"He just said he sent agents to clean up the mess you two made and made sure the papers stated that you're their parents," Galahad said. They grinned at him. "Not that I wouldn't have made a hell of a mess myself if they had my sister."

"Does your family know of your job?" Victoria asked. Galahad shook his head. "I tried to keep it from Philip as well but he learned rather well from us by sneaking around." She smiled at Ivan.

"Our son is every bit my son, he's sneaky," he agreed, smiling at her.

"We can let you guys have some thinking and snogging time," Gray said, standing up.

"Sit down, dear. I'm not Morticia. I don't need him to kiss up my arm." She smirked at them. "We want to get to know you and the children. How else am I supposed to be a spoiling grandmother?"

"I taught them to call us big brother," Gray said quietly.

She smiled. "That's fine. They're still my grandchildren." She stroked over Toby's head. "I never did think I'd have grandchildren to spoil while I teach them."

Galahad sat up abruptly. "Someone on that SHIELD team just tried to attack the agent Merlin sent to get your other son."

"Oh, fuck," Xander said. He looked at Gray. "Want it?"

"Go for it." He handed over something. "Have fun, dear. Want a sword?"

"Yeah." He found theirs in the diaper bag and stood up, calling someone. "It's Xander. My big brother needs me in London. He's on a SHIELD team cleaning up the mess. Yeah, that's him. Long story, Simone. Can you please? Thanks." He nodded at Gray. "Be right back." He disappeared and appeared in London, then stabbed someone in the back with the sword. "Why hi there. Why are you bothering my big brother?" He grinned. "Also, Watchers Council, bitches. Sit down and shut the fuck up." The one defending him backed away slowly.

"You have a sword and I have a gun."

Xander snapped and pointed. A demon popped up and lunged at her. Her shooting it just made it grow. "Really? How is that working out for you?"

"Enough!" Philip said, coming over. "Down, demon, please. She was protecting me." The demon pouted at him. "You can eat the bad ones." He pointed at them.

Xander looked then pointed. "He's one that helped create the kids." The demon made a happy noise and took that one to eat as it walked off. Xander grinned. "Hi, big brother."

"Xander. Are you all right and what kids?"

"Your mom just found out. This week." Philip winced. "We're all in Lesotho because we had a battle earlier. Come save a few people? Merlin was sending someone to save you."

"I met that agent and he's limping. I really can't....."

"Your boss is trying to get our kids."

"Excuse me? You have multiple children?" he said, putting his hands in his pockets while staring at him. "Leave my little brother alone. He'll have you eaten." He looked at Xander again. "With who did you give me nieces or nephews?"

"With the same people who made me." Phil's eyes narrowed. "She just announced she was going to be a great grandmother."

"I'm sure she would be, yes." He rubbed over his forehead. "I can't leave. We have to clean this up."

Xander shrugged. "Merlin had to tell her."

"Oh, dear. I...." He looked around. "It'll take days."

Xander's phone rang with a text message. "Gray said that the Asgardian bullshit pieces will still be here and the Council's clean up team has been doing the same thing. Which is probably who tried to have you attacked." He looked back at the agent behind him. "Hi, I'm Xander."

"Merlin told me and said to tell you both to go back down there. That there's been another problem spotted near your campers."

"We can do that. Thank you. Can you help them? It's picky work getting the weird stuff out of the way of humans."

"Sure. Merlin sent me because I'm actually a lab person." He smirked.

"Thank you for the help. May, let him help. I trust that organization. I need to go fix this problem. Apparently I have a few nieces or nephews I've never met."

"You have seven nieces and nephews. Three tiny that I raise and four bigger that Gray raises." He took his arm, then touched something. They disappeared. "Thanks, Simone," he called with a wave. They were by the campers. He looked at the guy standing there. "Watch me call a demon down to eat you."

"You're a watcher, you can't do that," the man sneered.

Xander shot him in the nuts. Body armor pants, pity. "Really? I could use favors to get more artillery for the upcoming ascension we have to handle in South Africa. Why shouldn't I sacrifice you?" The man was pushing his panic button. Xander strolled over, smiling down at him. "By the way, I'm Xander, not Gray. Gray's meaner. He's teaching the kids." He smiled. "Have a happy day," he said then kicked him to knock him out. Xander looked around, then went jogging over to the battlefield. "Someone was trying to break into our gear to take our kids hostage. Our kids are in town but still. Would you like them or should I use him as a poker stake?"

"I would rather put him to a merciful death," the head soldier said, following him back. "Do we know of him?"

"His people are running guns and training an underground militia," Phil said, pulling that up on his phone. "That's his people and he wanted my nieces and nephews."

The soldier nodded. "It's a good thing to stop such." He cuffed him then carted the guy off. "Have a good rest in town, Watcher."

"Thanks." He looked at Phil. "Town's about four miles."

"I can handle that walk." They walked off together but Frank got them after a few minutes. "Frank."

"Philip." They shook hands. They went back to the hotel. "Your mother's livid again."

"If I had told her, it would've blown her cover, Dad's cover, and mine."

"Not to mention drawing attention to us when things were bad," Xander said.

Philip nodded. "Indeed." They parked at the hotel and went up to the right room with Frank leading. He walked in first, getting a hug from his father. "Dad."

"Philip." He pushed him back to look at him. "You look well enough. Tired."

"I'm still finishing my healing."

"That's because he did weird things to bring you back," Galahad said. "Merlin went looking and swore up a stream like a footie hooligan."

Philip looked at him. "Which one are you? I recognized the glasses."

"Galahad. I took Harry's spot," he said quietly.

"Hmm. So you're the one that handled Valentine. Good work."

"Thanks. Necessary but thanks." They shook hands.

Philip looked at Gray. "I heard how that happened." Gray hopped up to hug him. "I have nieces and nephews and you didn't tell me."

"That was about six months before you got dead. We went to London to see if we could find anything in the old building. Then we found out about the kids."

Philip nodded. "You couldn't have gotten news to me in New Mexico without the higher ups hearing," he agreed. "I'm supposedly hiding."

"Fury's getting my gun up his nose," his mother said firmly. "I didn't even hear you had died."

"You're not on my paperwork to protect you and Dad."

"So?" she demanded.

Toby woke up, frowning at her then at him. "Not make grandma mad!" he shouted. "She get mad and girls cry! Making granma's cry is evil!"

"Toby," Gray said, patting his lap. "They're allowed to have this fight. Things have been going on that no one told Grandma about. She's okay with being mad this time. This is your Uncle Phil. Can you say hi?"

"Still not nice to make Granma sad!"

"I know it's not. She's yelling at me. I deserve it. I did naughty things," Phil said. He held out his hands. "Want a hug?"

"I should bite you," Toby said.

"You probably should," he agreed. "I'll be nicer if you don't."

Toby looked up at Gray and Xander then at him. "Fine. I'll bite you next time you're a bad boy."

"That'd be great," Phil agreed. "Hug?" Toby stood up and leapt at him, letting Phil catch him. "You hug very nice, Toby."

"Thank you. Are you a good boy?"

"Most of the time I am." He cuddled him. "Are you a good boy?" Toby smirked and shook his head. "That happens sometimes."

Toby nodded. "I get candy." He grinned at his grandfather.

"He gets a bit hyper, all the kids do," Gray warned.

"We noticed," Victoria said with a smile. "That's fine as well. So was Philip." She stared at her son. "We will discuss why you kept this from us."

"Did I want them to find you?" he asked. "Or the idiots in his former town that were NID and torturing demons."

"No," she said. "They were?"

"My former team took them down," Xander said. "Twice. Now they work for the UN."

Galahad shook his head quickly. "Merlin heard that. He's not amused."

"If I had heard that, I would've been unamused earlier," Phil said, looking at Toby. "How old are you?" He held up three fingers with a shy grin. "That's a great age." He sat down. "Where's the others?"

"Pretending to nap so they can cuddle the babies," Frank said with a point at the bedroom.

"They don't often get to spend time together. We're on divergent paths for hitting all the slayers," Gray said.

"Sit, Xander," Ivan said. He sat down. "You look good with a baby, son. Perhaps you will think on that?"

"Dad, everyone I knew and cared for thinks I'm dead," he said quietly. "With three exceptions. Director Fury hasn't told anyone. Including the Captain."

Galahad took off the glasses. "That's a bit too filthy even for me." He handed them to Phil. "He wanted to talk to you."

Phil took off his own glasses and put on the special ones. "Yes, Merlin? Speaking of, are you ever going to pay up on that owed dinner?" He listened to him rant. "No, he didn't. No one knew. He and Maria Hill set up my current team on the command plane. Yes with Agent May." He paused. "Really?" He looked at his brothers. "Why does Skye set off your weird feelings?" They shrugged. "Danger or otherwise?"

"Otherwise. Not a poker buddy thought though."

Phil nodded, listening to Merlin. "That's interesting. She's been looking for her origins actually, Merlin. That's how I found her, she hacked SHIELD. No, not them. Yup." He looked at Toby, who was staring at the glasses. Then back at Galahad. "I think he's in awe."

"I'm being a good boy because everyone in this room is more dangerous than I am," Galahad said dryly with a smirk. "I'm still a student at what they learned ages ago. There's plenty I can learn from you lot."

Victoria smiled. "Laid on a bit thick, dear. This isn't a honey pot mission after all."

"He's Xander's type," Frank said.

Xander nodded. "All of ours have been dangerous, deadly or otherwise a bit mean."

Gray nodded. "But fun and some of them have been very helpful. A few we even let babysit."

"Some got us some very handy things," Xander added. "Including what we used earlier. He's really fun and nice. We're kinda hoping to run into him around when we have the ascension in Sun City."

Phil stared at him. "Like your graduation?" The twins nodded. "Tell us who?" Xander pulled up the file on his phone, letting him see it. "Merlin, your language is leaving much to be desired since I'm holding one of the babies." He pulled out his phone, shifting the baby some. Toby pouted. "I just need to call someone, Toby. It's okay." He kissed him on the head, calling in. "Maria, Phil. I'm here with my little brothers and they're reporting there's a person attempting an ascension in four days. I'll send you the file in a few minutes. No, the twins were going to handle it but I've just found out I have nieces and nephews so I'm going with them. That's wonderful. I don't care though since helping them is more important at this moment." He hung up. "That'll set up a few things."

Xander leaned closer. "Your team," he said quietly, staring at him. "One's near there."

Phil winced. "They'll kill me."

Xander nodded with a grin. "Quite possibly."

"Yup," Gray said. "We were gonna do the same thing."

Phil smiled. "It's nice to be loved, boys." He looked down at the feeling of something bumping his ankle. "Hi, which one are you?"

Xander leaned over to look. "Hi, Mandy. Need a diaper?" He got up to check her and change her in the bathroom then the others. "Guys, Uncle Phil's here." They ran out to meet this person they had only heard of.

"Wow, a granma, a granpa, and an unclie," one of the girls said in awe. "So many people."

Xander tapped her on the head, making her look up. "That's Mr. Frank. You always trust Mr. Frank, remember?" She nodded and waved at him, getting a wave back. So did the others. "That's so good of you guys to all wave. We'll figure out how to let you meet the other two soon."

"Clint's going to kill me if Natasha doesn't," Phil said.

"I remember your team," Victoria said. "We can perhaps help with that." She looked at Ivan, who smiled and nodded. He picked up two of the babies to hold while the other kids spread themselves around all the new spoiling people.


Two days later, Phil Coulson walked into a pub in London. He paused at a table. "Later, Melinda. Not now," he said quietly. "We have to have an intelligence meeting." He went to a back table and sat down, staring at the same young guy and the guy next to him. "Thank you for the meeting, Merlin. It's not often we get together this way but it's good to be safely here away from mad parents."

"Order dinner since I owe you," he said with a smile. "How is your mother?"

"Only mad at a few very select people." He leaned on the table. "What's the legal status of my nieces and nephews?" he asked quietly.

"All theirs. I made sure. Then the old Arthur got horrified when he had someone profile your brother." Merlin smiled. "He was not amused and had to drink pepto for a few days."

"Good. I did the same thing when I met my little brother." He sighed. "I still love the guys though. The kids too. My dad is so happy there's grandkids. He's going to teach them a lot of stuff."

"I send them books now and then," Merlin said. "They made me a godfather."

Phil smiled. "I'm glad you were there with them." He looked at the young pup. "Go pump Melinda for information. She was one of my trainees."

"Sure." He went to charm her. "This seat taken?" he asked with a charming smile.

"Yes," she said flatly.

He sat down anyway. "My boss and your boss just told me to bugger off and come tease you until you actually smile."

She stared at him. Then looked back at Coulson, who flapped a hand without looking back at her. She looked at him again. "I see."

"I'm a new agent," he said quietly.

"We know nothing about your group."

"We know jack all about SHIELD," he said dryly but grinned again. "Seems a bit nutters to me. I guess you run into others in the field, make friends, all that?"

She nodded. "Sometimes, though we're not encouraged. Even though those two are friends." She shifted to face him better. "How do those two know each other?"

"Your boss's mom is a Brit."

"Oh. Interesting. So they met through work?"

"No clue. No one told me." He shrugged. "I was amazed when I met his mum. She's super posh."

"That must explain the suits," she said dryly. "He wears better suits than most everyone." She looked at the young guy's jeans and track jacket with a sideways tipped hat. "Can you wear that at work?"

"Not totally but I'm off." He smirked.

"All the time or just tonight?" she chided back.

He laughed. "Depends on who you ask, donnit?"

"True, most of us are a bit...different." She looked over. "I did not call for backup."

He leaned closer. "His little brother said someone was wrong on your team," he said quietly. "Named some bloke."

She considered it then nodded once. "How would he know?"

"He's a watcher. Plays kitten poker and the like."

She shook her head quickly. "Disgusting." She looked up since her teammate was close enough to overhear them. "Ward."

"May." He smiled. "Can I join you?"

"Sure, mate, I don't care." He shifted over on the bench. "So, pretty one, whatchya do for fun?"

"I train."

He nodded. "I've done a bit of that recently myself. Got yelled at for parkour training again too." He shook his head but smiled at her. "Ever try it?"

"Some but it looks not as useful as regular running. I usually go around things."

"Leads to some great off-the-wall moves."

"I've seen those. Can you?" He nodded. "Huh. I might have to see later." He grinned. She looked at Ward. "Why did you show up?"

"Half the team's here. I was worried there's a problem."

"Yes but it's not ours," she said. "He called me to meet him later but I got here early. I could use dinner."

Galahad shook his head. "Not here. Better chip shop around the way," he said with a point. "Here's good for beer, for fun, for training. Lots of bar brawls some nights."

Melinda smiled. "Do you consider that training?"

He grinned. "Anything can be training if you wanna call it that."

"True." She looked back then at him. "Your head?"

He grinned. "Can't comment. Ask your bloke. He seems decent. Fussed greatly over his brov."

"He has a brother?" she asked, looking confused. The young guy smirked at her for that little lie to draw Ward.

"Yeah," Ward said with a nod. "He's a watcher."

"How did you know that?" she demanded.

"It's in his files."

Melinda shook her head. "No it's not. It lists his mother with a clearly made up name as I'm finding out and no siblings."

"It's in there now. Maybe Fury updated it."


Some rowdy assholes came in shoving each other. Galahad shook his head with a sigh. "Want some beers?" he asked her.

"I don't tend to drink that often."

"Sometimes you gotta. Those chav'll get on your nerves soon."

"I can break them," she said.

He smiled. "I'd love ta see ya work. Compare your methods to the ones of my friend, who's the same sorta girl but younger."

Melinda smiled. "You do have female agents?"

"Yeah. She's in here." Melinda looked around then shook her head slowly. He grinned. "Not all of us are like me."

"I still can't spot another agent. Interesting. I'll have to ask how they train. See if it can upgrade my own. Or Skye's."

Ward nodded. "Let me know." She nodded. Galahad got out of the booth and went to get them stuff to drink, coming back with them. "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome." He sat down with another smile. "Your boss found out he's an uncle too."

"That's nice I suppose. Interesting. Are they cute?"

"They're spoiled little bits who liked to suck up to him like he was Santa." She smiled. "Stories mostly but candy, yeah."

"Awww." One of the rowdy ones shoved Ward by accident so he got up to 'talk' to them.

He leaned over. "If you ever need ta find me, ducks, I'm Eggsy," he said quietly. She nodded at that. "Or Galahad on the job." He smiled. "Don't ever doubt I can help as long as you're not after me."

"I can remember that. Thank you."

"Welcome." He winked and got up, helping her up. "They'll break the table soon." He led her over to another table. "Pretty lady slumming?" he teased with an evil smirk.

"Not hardly. Merlin was worried someone might try something." She smiled. "You must be Melinda May. Merlin told us about Agent Coulson's team," she said, holding out a hand. "Lancelot."

"I am." She shook it and they sat down to watch the fight. She had a good view of all the exits and the table the two senior agents were sitting at. "Coulson's brother is who?"

"Harris," Lancelot said. "Both of them."

"Senior watchers in Africa. We saw a battle."

"Merlin was not amused and Arthur asked if he was pregnant with the way he was throwing up," Lancelot said.

"Some of the Council's fights are that nasty," Melinda said.

"There's an ascension in a few days but they turned it over to your group instead," Eggsy said. "Have to take the head off the really large demon."

"I looked up the footage of the one at their graduation," Lancelot said. "Something like eighty feet of demon. They had to blow up the school to kill it."

"They're immortal for the last hundred days from what I remember about that incident," Melinda said. She took a drink of her ale. "That's not bad." The fight got worse and she sighed. "I should go help him." No, Phil and Merlin got up and Phil disabled two of the boys then said something to them. They ran off. He shot Ward a dirty look then they went to order dinner at the bar and go back to their talk. So it'd be okay.


Ivan found his target in New York the same day as the meeting in London. He walked up behind the young redheaded woman. "We must speak, I have information for you, Natalia," he said in Russian from right behind her ear. "Meet me in the walking park in thirty minutes, by the statue." He walked off.

She paused to look in a window, frowning at who she saw. She recognized him. That was a bad sign. She slowly made her way to the same park with a book and a cup of tea to cover her sitting around. She nodded at him, sitting on the bench next to him. "Pretty day and my favorite view of that statue."

He nodded. "It is a good statue. No graffiti either. I'm impressed."

"They had people cleaning up such things recently." She looked at him. "This is dangerous for you."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Not hardly. I am over the embassy here now, my dear. Though I have heard information that is not from home that you need to hear. You will want that tea."

"A new emergency?"

"A slight one that you probably won't be handling in a few days in South Africa but not exactly the point." He patted her knee. "When I was about your age, I had a love of my life."

"There were many rumors," she agreed. This was an odd start and for a Russian to start off with a past lover, to one he wasn't related to, was a bad sign of something huge. As this one had been very high in the secret agencies that used to rule Russia, high enough to have known about her training and have helped stop it, it was obviously horrible news.

"Yes, she was my dark angel. Every bit my equal and better. To this day she still loves me and hates that she nearly killed me because they made her choose between her son and her lover."

She frowned. "She had a child?" That was gossip that hadn't even been hinted at.

"Yes, our Philip. She used her mother's maiden name for his last one but it protected him greatly." She stiffened because only one Philip could be related to them both. "Who we have recently been reunited with." He handed her the cup of tea. She took a sip. "Apparently there was some things that only the Council could understand, though they did not help, that made sure my beloved's heart is safe."

"He's alive," she said quietly. He nodded. "Why did we not know?"

"If one of us finds him, we will be punching his other eye out." He stared at her. "My boy is in London today with his new team. Though our younger sons we have just learned of, they are Council, said that a few of them are odd for some reason. He does not worry about her, but the male member of the team he worries about why he's possibly bad."

She finished the tea. "We know of this team?"

"Yes, one of your other trainees is on it. She helped set it up."

She considered it. "Is she Asian?"

"Yes." He smiled and patted her knee again. "We look forward to seeing our son in one piece, Natalia. Do not disappoint my beloved or me?"

"I may hit him but I will not harm him in a permanent manner." She took a calming breath.

He smiled. "My beloved is telling your partner. She thought it would amuse him to meet her."

"It would if who I heard she was is right. Thank you."

"You are most welcome. Let me know if you have problems. I can't do much but now and then I may hear something." He stood up. "Have a better afternoon and smile more. You look much lighter when you smile." He walked off, going back to his embassy.

She calmed herself then sent a text message to her partner.


Uptown, the noble looking platinum gray woman sat down across from the guy at the pizza shop. "Clinton."

He stared, mouth slightly open. "You're Victoria Winslow," he said. She smiled, tipping her head slightly. "Oh, god, there's an order on me again?"

"Well, yes, but I'm not here about that group within SHIELD wanting you out of the way." She smiled, patting his hand. "Put it down, dear. I have some news to share and it's up to you if you hear it here or have the fit in the alley."

"Alley," he said, getting a box for his remaining pizza then they went out to walk and talk. "What sort of information and who has the price on me this time? It has to be bad if the Goddess of Snipers comes to find me."

"They're within SHIELD but otherwise I can't pinpoint who. If I hear I'll gladly tell you. There's not much young talent these days."

"Too true."

"I had hoped my son would've followed my lead into being a sniper, and he does do a great job, but no, he chose to be an agent like his father."

"There's all sorts of rumors about your lover."

She smiled, taking his arm. "Yes, there are. Some are even correct. He's talking with your partner. Our Philip is such a sweet boy and we wanted to meet his team before now but he was protecting us."

He stopped. "Philip? Coulson?" he demanded in a hiss. She nodded with a smile. "But... Um, Fury didn't...."

She waved a hand. "Your superior did things that our newly found sons, who are Council, pinpointed as dealing with aliens on him."

He stiffened. "That mother fucker," he muttered.

"Indeed." She smiled. "If I find him first, he'll be missing that other eye of his." She smiled at him. "He's in London today with his new team. He worked hard to hide Philip from everyone, dear."

He nodded, walking into an alley to kick the walls. She followed. "Was he dead?" he asked quietly.

"From what I understand, yes. Though we were not told as no one there knows we're his family." She laid a hand on his arm. "I didn't know until the other day, or that I had another set of twin sons and grandchildren."


"No, Xander and Gray. They adopted." She smiled. "They're adorable. Sucked up to Phil for the last few days to get stories and cuddles. They're *charming* little children. They made sure I couldn't paddle Phil for worrying us."

"I think I'm going to have a breakdown."

"That's fine, dear. That's why I suggested the alley." She patted him on the arm again, making him look at her. "He's fine. Still healing a bit. Something about missing some muscle memory in his arm. Though I do have to warn you about a few things we learned. One of his team, the male, is not exactly what he says he is as far as we can tell. We're not sure why." He nodded. "Not the nice little scientist, but the agent. His former trainee put the team together but my little cherub picked up a hacker that our son says is a bit different but not worrying."

"Your other son's...."


He nodded. "Okay, I don't mind agents that're half demons or whatever. That's cool. I'm going to beat the living fuck out of your son for not telling me though."

She smiled at him. "As long as he can heal. Otherwise I'll talk the twins into making you babysit all seven children. Or possibly some of the mini slayers."

"That's a fate worse than torture," he agreed, smiling some. "Um... London you said?" She nodded. "Because of the Asgard thing?"

"Started out that way. Now they're having a meeting. Poor Merlin had been hiding not only my grandchildren but my twin sons to protect us all. I promised I'd only spank him for it someday since he's been so helpful. They're chatting right now. Apparently he and Phil have known each other for years and have some sort of intelligence coven as my younger two put it."

He nodded. "I've heard rumors about a tech wizard named Merlin." He rubbed his forehead. "I can wait until he gets back."

"That's fine, dear. I'm going for Russian tea. You have a better day?"

"I will, ma'am. Thank you and if you see your son first, swat him for me? It'll make him more tender for when I kick his butt."

"I can do that. He didn't tell me about the other sons the UK government made either. I learned about all this on the same afternoon."

Clint shuddered. "I'm sorry."

"It's sweet, dear." She patted him on the cheek. "Finish your daily allotment of grease. Talk to your partner." She strolled off.

Clint pulled out his phone, finding a text message. He sent back a simple 'I heard from Victoria Winslow'. She agreed and they could probe towards London. She also knew who was on his team. He pointed out he had never liked Ward. Way too flashy. Melinda could be a toasty little ball of tar. If they had a way to get to London right now... She proposed a plan. He agreed, heading for the SHIELD base. They could 'borrow' a jet. They could both fly one. Then he brought up the bad point. How were they going to tell the others?


Lancelot looked around, frowning. "We have an intruder," she said quietly, turning away from where she had spotted movement. "Galahad?" she called. "Jog with me?" She didn't have any sort of comm device on her, he had on his official glasses.

"Sure." He came over then looked. "I wouldn't worry about them. We're not him or Merlin." They took off running with their dogs. He heard a snort about the dogs and shrugged at the hidden agents. He did call it in. If they were that good, they could figure it out and be a good lesson for the trainees. They heard that it wasn't who they thought it was and to go find them. Merlin was in a bad mood this morning. Turned out to be Ward and Skye. Ward was tricky but everyone underestimated a pug until one bit you on the balls. Lancelot took down Skye from behind when she turned to help Ward. They marched them inside and to a room for Merlin to deal with. They never realized that the two they were really wary of were not only in the building but waiting as well.

Merlin stomped in. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"We came to help our boss. As far as we know this isn't anything but a group out to capture him," Skye said.

Merlin stared at her. "Lass, he's got your nose turned up and around. Think for yourself," he ordered, making her huff. "Frankly, you're bait." He left them in there. He winced at the sound of a female voice over his comm unit.

"Yes, we will gladly figure out why no one likes Agent Ward," the female voice said. "Right after we beat someone to death for not being dead. Do have some tea, Merlin wasn't it?"

"Agent Romanoff, how pleasant to hear from you," he said dryly. "Do not mess up our tidy little building please."

"I'd never do that and Clint's not destructive today."

"Fine. I don't need ta know."

"Good. That's very sensible, then we'll hold an intelligence chat, shall we?" She hung up.

He groaned, sending out a message that they had other intelligence agents trying to get in, two in custody, and they were all here about one they were liaisoning with. The other agents could try to capture the two good agents. It'd be good training for them. Thankfully, Phil had found his bulletproof vest already. Didn't help him when he was dragged off suddenly by his ear.

Phil looked at his two agents. "I wasn't allowed."

"I'm going to beat the living fuck out of you," Clint said. "Then Fury if your mom doesn't. By the way, she's scary."

Philip Coulson smiled but nodded. "Yes, she can be. So can Dad. Though, my brothers are more weird and dangerous."

"We didn't hear about any of this," Natasha said, moving closer.

He stared at her. "It protected them. Mom didn't know that someone had made my brothers."

She shuddered. "I can see how she'd be quite peeved. As I am."

He stared at her. "I tried to tell you. Fury stopped it."

"I'll deal with him later," she said. "For now, we will talk." He groaned. "Then we have been invited to an intelligence chat."

"These are very good agents."

"The one out there took out Ward with his pug," Clint said with a grin. "Had him bite him on the nuts."

"Merlin said he thought it'd grow." He looked at them. "Do the others know?"

"I'm not telling Steve or Bruce a blessed thing," Clint said dryly. "I don't want my head taken off. So when you get back, you can tell them, sir."

"My next mission isn't in New York."

"Bet me that'll stop this," she said.


"Especially since Ward's dirty and is part of the group that has a contract out on Clint's life," she said, handing over that set of notes. "And this is on Skye so she can quit looking." She handed that over as well.

He looked. "Huh. I need to separate them."

"They're up the hall."

Someone knocked then leaned in. Lancelot smiled. "Can we help?" Her eyes went wide when she realized who she had just spoken to. They had been given their known dossiers by Merlin during training as an incentive to be more like them.

"Please," Natasha said. "We need to separate the two members of his team. Or at least Ward from all the others."

"That's fine. We can do that." She called that in and led them to talk to them. "Skye, we're putting you in a nicer room." She looked up with a glare. "Your boss wanted to talk to you in private. Do you really want him to chew you a new one in front of others?" She shook her head, letting herself be led off.

"Ward could use an ice pack."

"He'll need more than that." She put her into a separate room where Phil was waiting.

He put the notes in front of her. "You should not have violated their property," he said quietly. "It was not only rude, but improper conduct. You knew I wasn't in any trouble."

"Ward said...."

"I'll be yelling at him next. You knew better." She nodded, looking down at the notes. Then gaped and looked at him. He pointed behind himself. She looked, mouth flopping open at Clint. Who grinned and wiggled his fingers at her. "He'll be getting the same speech in a few moments."

"Thank you," she told him. "I...."

"We heard," he said. "We don't have anything against you yet, Skye. Don't make us an enemy." He looked at Phil. "Can we go talk to Ward now? Natasha's having fun with him."

"She's good at interrogation. She can teach it very well." He looked at Skye. "You're to sit in here and not move without permission." She nodded, settling in to reread those notes. "Good." He left her in there, going to the room up the hall. A few agents were watching her work on the simple agent. Ward was not falling for it yet but she had wiggled her way under his defenses and he slipped up a few minutes later. She let it go but came back to that to unravel the thread.

Clint pulled out a meal bar to nibble on while he watched her. One of the agents looked at him. He grinned. "She's my partner and he's our handler. We thought he was dead for almost a year." They winced.

Phil sighed. "We'll talk later, Hawkeye."

"Yes, sir," he chirped. He walked in there and handed Natasha something. He hissed in her ear then smirked at Ward. "A pug took you down? Really? You were a level seven agent and a pug got you?" He left with a small chuckle.

She nibbled that meal bar, working on him until he truly slipped up then someone outside there hit a wall. She looked then at him. "I believe you have upset Coulson. That's never a good idea. Especially with who his parents are." She walked out. Coulson was holding Clint against a wall. "Clint, calm down."

"I can not and will not be in the same group as HYDRA," he growled.

"We're Avengers, Clint. Not fully SHIELD." She quirked an eyebrow up.

"Good point." He calmed himself. "Sir?" he asked.

"Ditto on not being anywhere near HYDRA. We'll have to tell the director. I know he's not."

Merlin cleared his throat. "That takes an outside finding, doesn't it?" he asked dryly.

"That would be an excellent thing. I need to warn Xander."

"Already have," Merlin assured him. "HYDRA hated the Council and your brothers are the worst yet at drawing trouble. Last night they drew an asshole who believes genocide is nice, fun, and sweetly romantic to woo them with. Sascha stole his gun and shot him with it. Fortunately not fatally so we can question him. Shall we, boys and girls? The rest of you agents, talk to Agent Romanoff about how she broke him so easily. She's tops in that field. If we had known she had defected, we would've brought her in and babied her back to our side." She smirked at him. "You would've done us proud."

"Thank you, Merlin."

"Welcome. Hawkeye, we have a range. Can you go break the trainees' egos?"

"Always," he said smugly. "It's fun."

"Yes it is. I always like it when I make them drop out of a plane thinking they're all going to die." A few watching agents shuddered. "You have places to be," Merlin said firmly. They went where they needed to be, Lancelot taking Clint to the range. Natasha got a classroom. She was the most experienced teacher they could ever hear from. Merlin looked at Phil. "Arthur's beaned out right now."

"I'm creeped out," he admitted. "But happy that they broke in here to find me."

"That is sweet." He led him back up to the office so they could go back to their chatting. They had new information to share.


Xander walked up to someone in New York the next day, hauling on his arm. "Come with me please. It's really highly important and nearly got some SHIELD agents dead."

"Who're you?" he demanded. He got his arm free. "Don't grab me."

Xander grinned. "New Council. A relative to a friend of yours as well." He led him off to an alley. "All right, Stark. We've got to talk about Coulson."

"He's dead," he ground out.

"Yeah, until Fury got some alien bullshit. As proven by my big brother cooing over his nieces and nephews when he got to meet them for the first time." Stark gaped. Xander held up his phone with a picture on it. "About a week ago."

Stark took it to look, leaning against the wall. "How?"

"Alien bullshit. It caused a few problems but we're working on it." He took the phone back. "He's safe. For now."

"For now?" he demanded, staring at the young guy. "Who're you really?"

"Xander Harris. Founding member of the New Council. I'm also one of the two of us training girls in Africa. I'm going to kill Fury because I can find him sooner than anyone." He grinned. "My twin has him tied up in a closet. You guys can have him later."

"Thanks. Why is he in danger?"

"Oh, you didn't get a memo from your teammates, who tracked him to London. Um, one of his team was HYDRA."

"Excuse me?" Stark demanded loudly. "Here?"


"Hold on, one of my teammates was?"

"No. One of my big brother's teammates was."

"He has a new team?"

"Fury's idea of hiding him. He was in London handling the cleanup."

Stark's eye twitched a few times then he calmed himself. "Is Coulson all right?"

"For now. They had a price on his head. They had a price on his team's heads, and on Clint's head. The pretty, dangerous, sexy one broke Ward and he slipped up. That's how we know it was HYDRA."

Stark nodded once. "Are they here?"

"Do you think there's only one of them in SHIELD?"

"No." He sighed. "How bad?"

"I don't know but big brother's over there talking to some friendly intelligence people we both trust about that."

Stark nodded. "I'll protect the team. Clint and Natasha are there?"

"The archer guy and the sexy, dangerous one I'd love to flirt with?" Stark nodded. "Yeah. They were there. They're still taunting Ward about being taken out by a pug." He grinned. "They apparently give their agents companion dogs for post-mission therapy."

"That's not a horrible idea," he said. "Hold on. England. MI-5?"

"Specialist group."

"Kingsman?" Xander stared at him. "My father did some contracting work for them after the war." He sighed. "All right. When can I tie up your big brother so Steve can scowl at him?"

"Ask the ones with him. I just paused on my way to Cleveland to report in about the bullshit we've had in Africa. My twin has all the kids." He shrugged. "So, this is probably apocalypse level within the intelligence community. I doubt they only have a single team in any agency."

"Probably true. I can look."

"Thanks." He smiled. "Also, if you run into his real parents, don't say anything please? It's to protect them."

"I can do that, kid. Thank you."

"Welcome. Have a happier day nagging people." He left, going to drive to the airport.

Stark went back to get a cup of coffee then back to the tower. He could go to the bookstore later. "JARVIS, call a team meeting in my office," he said as he got onto the elevator. "Make sure there's a forcefield so no one can break a window. Or a wall." He sipped his coffee on the way up, getting to the office last. Pepper, Steve, Bruce, and Thor's girlfriend was there. "Jane, not to worry you." She nodded. "Thor here?"

"Flying. I was going to sit in for him."

"Just send him when he gets back. It's not an immediate emergency but it's pretty bad news." She nodded, leaving them alone. "Bruce, the door." He closed it and locked it. "I just got waylaid by a member of the New Council, who is Coulson's little brother." He sipped his coffee. Steve sucked in a breath. "There's two bits of news and I can't be gentle, people. We all know I have no tact. First, Agent's alive. Fury did alien bullshit according to his brother." He took another sip, staring at Steve, who was sucking in breaths through his nose. "Apparently there was a shadow team he got put on but he was spotted in London cleaning up the mess from Thor's people's fight. Fury probably forbid him from telling any of us." He finished the coffee and tossed it out. "His brother said he's fine. He's working on something with another intelligence group over there at the moment. That's where our other two are. They went to beat him or something."

"I need to do the same thing," Pepper said. "Fury wouldn't let him tell us?"

"No. The kid said that. Also, he said that someone on Coulson's shadow team was HYDRA. Natasha broke him." Steve stood up, knocking his chair over, looking enraged. "I'm guessing that's what they're working on together because, as the kid pointed out, they wouldn't just have one team in any agency." Steve turned and hit the wall. Stark was proud of his construction team because the wall only dented instead of breaking. "I'm doubting Fury knows that part of this."

"I need some air," Bruce said, walking off. "Let me know anything else later. I'll be in botany."

"Tony?" Pepper asked quietly.

He looked at her. "We need to make sure of our people. Immediately." She nodded. "We can't trust anyone, anyone could be HYDRA. Very few people are immune to HYDRA. Which is mostly the team. Or Rhodey." She nodded, going to start that. He moved to look at Steve, making him turn around. "His parents didn't know he was alive," he said quietly. "He kept his parents out of SHIELD's notice to protect them and they didn't know. I'm guessing until he was spotted in London."

Steve swallowed, nodding. "But he's alive? It's him?"

"From what the kid said. Natasha and Clint are over there."

"I'll call them. Then what?"

"That depends on how bad the infection is by that other group and his team."

"We might be able to integrate them as normal agents helping us." He ran a hand through his hair. "This is bad."

"This is real bad but he has nieces and nephews. He just met them a week ago. His brother had a picture of him being mobbed by them."

Steve smiled some. "That's good," he said quietly. "I need the gym."

"All right, but be aware they probably still want you."

"Definitely. Thanks, Stark. Let me know if you find anything else out." Stark nodded so he stomped off to go beat something up.

Stark went to help Pepper for now. He had to make sure his company was without holes hiding HYDRA mice.


Xander walked into the slayer house, smiling at Gray and the kids playing with the minis. "Giles drinking yet?"

"Yup," Gray said. "He didn't know we had kids."

"I sent in that report."

"Someone ate it on him."

"Okay. Anyone else need to know?" Xander asked.

"Faith saw, then ran off shuddering at the cuteness. You know it horrifies her."

"That's mean, Gray," Willow said as she walked up the hallway. She stared. "You have kids."

"We reported that last year," Gray quipped. "I raise the older ones, he raises the babies."

"But you travel," she said slowly.

"In a camper," Xander said with a smile. "Holds kids, us, and weapons."

She groaned, walking off. "No wonder Giles is horrified."

"We've still got to give him the yearly update report," Xander called after her. "Then go torture someone for information."

"Torture is always wrong. I taught you better," she called back.

Xander leaned back to look up at her. "If we don't find out, then the US is going to fall," he said simply. "And they're bad guys at least."



"Shit," she muttered, going to tell Giles. She and Giles came back together, her closing the door after them. "Give. How do you have kids?"

The twins smiled at her. "We weren't made normally. The same people made them but they had old Council like plans so they're ours."

"Excuse me?" Giles demanded. "Are they formally yours?"

"Yeah, all adopted and all that." Gray pulled up the files for him. "We sent you this info, Giles."

"I apparently didn't read it very well." He went over the file with Willow reading over his shoulder. "How did we rescue them?"

"Being ourselves," Xander said with a smirk. "We had a friend covering it up for us but we have formal adoption papers and that friend made sure the ones who did it went down hard."

Giles handed the phone back with a nod. "So I have honorary uncle status of your children." He looked at them. "How many are there? I think a few of those are baby slayers."

"They are. We have seven," Xander quipped with a grin. "I have the three babies and Gray does the bigger kids."

"Wonderful," he said, smiling at them. He patted the nearest one. "Hi, dear."

"That's a baby slayer," Willow said. "The babies creep him out, guys. So I'm an auntie?"

"As long as you turn into a good auntie," Gray said, giving her a pointed look. She rolled her eyes but nodded. He looked at Giles. "We've since found a few things, including telling our mom we actually existed. No one told her." Giles winced. "By the way, you used to flirt with my mom when you were at the museum." Giles stiffened, staring at them. They smiled.

"You look like Victoria, somewhat," he admitted.

"We do look more like dad," Xander agreed.

"Oh, dear. She knows?"

"Yeah, after the battle in Lesotho. She met us there. She even watched the kids for the few hours."

"That's kind of her." He took off his glasses to rub his eyes then looked at the boys. "That's certainly weird news but not bad news."

"Because of that meeting, we ran into someone who was HYDRA," Xander said.

"They were a group in World War II," Willow said.

"And they're still around today, infecting intelligence people," Gray said.

"Including one near our big brother, who you had a fun trip to Cancun with, Giles. So do you want to be a brother-in-law?" Xander quipped, smirking at him.

"He's.... oh. Well then." He cleared his throat. "Not particularly. Our goals weren't in line with each other." He blushed some. Xander handed over a baby. "Hello, which one are you?"


"That's a good name." He cuddled the baby, who was patting his cheek and smiling at him. He looked at the boys. "If I remember right, HYDRA had a problem with the Council." Both boys nodded. "Do they still?" They nodded again. "Do they know you know?"

"No. The only one who knows is our big brother."

"That's fine." He considered it. "We can take some precautions and find out if any have infiltrated."

"We need to do that anyway since the guy summoning the demons in Lesotho told us he was paid to do it by someone up here," Gray said. Giles blinked at him. He nodded. "Not one that refused to leave London, they're in Cleveland. It was to raise power for a later problem according to him."

"We guessed he didn't think that anyone would care but some of us do care," Xander finished.

"Oh, dear. Did he name them?" Xander shook his head. "Damn." He looked at the baby then at Willow. "Can you truth spell them?"

"She needs to do a map anyway. We've heard rumors of a shapeshifter here."

"The 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' sort," Gray added with a grin for her.

"It might help with some other problems too," she agreed. "I can figure that out tonight." They smiled. She went to do that.

"Am I going to have a lot of dumbed down reports again?" Giles asked, patting the baby on the back. She belched, making him look down. "Well, that was ferocious of you, Sybil." She grinned and waved. "Thank you."

"I fed them before we came in," Gray said. "Xander was late because he had to tell someone some of this info about our brother."

"That's fine, boys. How many reports am I getting?"

"You'll be getting some dumbed down ones because we don't want to hear the bitching," Xander said with a point toward the library. "Especially not from the huffy 'you're not a girl' sorts."

Giles grimaced. "I can keep them from her." Gray handed over the printed file. Giles read. "I should be rather mad that you've been flirting with those sort."

"Oh, it gets worse. One of the others flirting with us we didn't want but he was handy to use for things. We got him out of everything and made someone handle him for us once we had used him."

"We learned well from the girls," Gray said.

"Hmm. It appears so." He went to the next report, staring at them oddly. "Is that really what happened?"

Xander leaned over to look then nodded. "Yup, took him out with cotton candy. Then he gave us a few treats, took the person who had been summoning him, and left us a hell of a mess to clean up."

Giles sighed, going back through them. He swatted Xander hard once but otherwise they just got a lot of sighs. He looked up. "Is this the dumbed down version?" They nodded with identical smiles. "Then I may not want to know." Xander handed over one page of paper that had a report on it. Giles read it then stuck it into the folder. "No, I do not want to know. Though I hope the children don't see that?" They shook their heads. "Good!"

Buffy walked in. "I heard we have new kids. New baby slayers?"

"Ours," Xander told her. "We adopted."

She looked at him. "Why would you do that?"

"Lots of important reasons that're slightly classified," Gray said. She snorted. "Seriously. The UK said so, Buffy."

"Oh." She looked at Giles. "Where's Willow?"

"Library. She's figuring out how to tell if we have a shapeshifter here, like the rumors say there is," Xander said.

"Oh, okay." She walked off. Both boys pointed at her back.

Giles nodded. "She's been mellow for a few days. Any other news to share?"

"Why do we suddenly own a house in the Carribean?" Gray asked.

"I don't know. You do?" Giles asked.

"We were told it was former Watcher property," Xander said. He shrugged. "We just heard about it when they asked us to pay the property taxes."

"We told them we had no idea about any of that, we hadn't heard we had inherited it and we hadn't bought one. We paid it but no idea how it came to be. We've only got pictures."

"I can ask the others when we call that board meeting together." They nodded. "Do they have babysitters?"

"No," Xander said. "Not often."

"That's fine. We can arrange it for the board meeting I'm sure." He stood up. "Let me go put this in. You two settle in the guest house?" They shook their head. "You can."

"No water and the ceiling's cracked," Xander said. "Not habitable."

"I hadn't realized. Motel?" They shook their heads. "I think they gave your room away."

"Don't worry about it. We usually live in two campers," Xander said.

"I already told Andrew and he's got us a room." Giles nodded, going to talk to Andrew then call the board together tomorrow afternoon.

"C'mon, guys. We'll all go play out back." They took all the kids, including Xander going up to get the rest of the little mini slayers, to the backyard to play. They needed more playing time.

Gray smiled. "Let's stretch before you play. Do this." He moved and the kids followed along if they could. They kept going and after a few warm up stretches, he pulled something out of his pocket and blew it up. The ball got a squeal and the kids ran after it. The babies all cuddled up to them. It was good for cuddles.

Andrew came out. "I tried to get them regular balls. Buffy complained."

"That's because she's dumb," Xander said with a shrug. "Kids need playing time." He grinned. "They need to run, jump, play, and that can also include some sneaky training at their ages. We do it with our girls down there and with our own kids."

"That's good." He went to get a bigger ball for them to play with. They loved that and the squeals got louder.

"They're loud!" Buffy complained.

"Blow it out your ass, they're supposed to be loud. They're kids," Gray said, looking back at her. "Your mother would hate that you've been torturing the kids by being a bitch." She huffed off. He waved at her back. "Maybe they need a house just for the really minis," he told Andrew.

"We've suggested that. A lot of the researchers are the same anti-kid sort. They have their carefully chosen heirs that were raised by a nanny."

"Since we don't have a nanny, they need someone."

"I know. I've pointed that out." He shrugged. "You do better."

"Ours are happier too." They grinned. "And about to pounce."

Andrew looked back, turning to tickle the little girl, who ran off again. "Let me make fruit pieces for snacks."

"Give it an hour, Andrew. They should be worn out by then," Gray said. He nodded, going to handle things then make them fruit.

"They're incredibly loud," an officious older man sneered from the doorway.

"Good. They're kids, they're supposed to be." Gray looked back at him. "That's how you know they're healthy and not emotionally stunted." He sneered back. "Then again, you don't really care about the little kids. If you're that bothered by kids, don't be around them and hire them a nanny. Or hire them a nanny and set up a house specifically safe for minis." He huffed off.

Xander nodded, pulling up local real estate. They shared the pictures until they found one to suggest. Plenty of bedrooms, lots of bathrooms because slayers were still girls, and just up the street by a few blocks so the older girls could still spend lots of time with them. Giles came out with a pitcher of tea and unbreakable glasses. They exchanged the phone for them.

"I had been thinking within a few houses so we could walk over."

"They need their own mom sort," Xander said. "Just like Buffy had."

"Good point. I can arrange that." He handed it back. "That's only six blocks away so the girls could go play with them I suppose." He went inside to look that up and make some plans for the board to agree he had the right to do tomorrow.

"Guys, want some tea?" he called. They ran over to get some, one lagging.

Xander got up to pick her up, making her wince. "What hurts?" She sniffled. "Show me what hurts?" She snuggled into his chest. He sat down again, running a hand over her legs and arms then one over her stomach, making her flinch. "Andrew!" he bellowed.

He came out and nodded. "It's not what you think. She's got an ulcer, we think it was a birth defect." He took her to hold. "Didn't you get your medicine this morning?" She nodded. "Still hurts?" She nodded again, holding her belly. "We can have the doc look it over. Maybe even with the machine again. You liked the squirty stuff the machine uses." He took her upstairs. No doctor. "Hmmm. Well...." He came back down. "She's not in."

"Take her to the ER," Xander said. "We can handle lunch stuff. We do with ours." He smiled and grabbed what they'd need, taking her to the ER. He and Gray did 'rock/paper/scissors' to see who got to go cook. Gray went in to do that while Xander played with the older kids for a bit.

Buffy walked in. "Where's Andrew?"

"One of the minis had a stomach problem so she's in the ER with him." He looked at her. "We do cook for our own kids, Buffy."

"Oh. Why do you have kids?"

"We adopted."

"Why?" she demanded.

"Classified by the UK government." She groaned, shaking her head. He smiled. "I raise four kids." She walked off shuddering. "Help Giles with plans for the minis." He went back to dealing with what Andrew had laid out. They could make something not usual for the girls to eat with it. Hamburger was a universal ingredient in many ways. You could do a lot with it.


Frank knocked on Victoria's door, earning a dirty look. "I brought you an apology present. The twins captured him for me." She got out of the way. He went out to get the guy from the trunk and carried him in to drop in front of her.

She smiled. "That's a charming present, Frank. I almost forgive you for not telling me I had two other sons." She patted him on the cheek. "Put on some water for tea?"

"Of course. Ivan?"

"He'll be here tonight. I'm sure we can keep him alive that long." She smiled and Nick Fury tried to inch away from her. "We really must talk, Nicholas. You have upset me fully in a few extreme ways. Let me get a knife so I can cut that duct tape over your mouth a bit." She grabbed a steak knife, going to have some stress relieving fun that wouldn't ruin her floors.

For now.

She had a special room for playing with him and others in.

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