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Future Old Ones and the No Good, Bad Days of Fuck You.

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Callia Stark looked around her present area, which wasn't the lecture classroom she should be in. She frowned then sighed and huffed a bit, and got up with her walker to slowly wander to find someone since she was in a parking lot. Her tactical thoughts were going round in circles because this was weird even for a Stark. A security guard ran her way so she paused to stare at him. "Why oh why did a bright light bring me here from my engineering symposium?" she asked patiently, trying to look amused.

"We saw the light."

She nodded and waved a hand. "Yeah it was. Not fully magic either. It was definitely magical tech. Where is here anyway?"

"You're at SHIELD, Miss."

"Callia Stark," she said dryly. "And I know the SHIELD in my world."

The guard swallowed. "Like Tony...Stark?"

"My dad?" She grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I'm his eldest." She shrugged and shifted her stance as someone came jogging their way. "I know you're a bad guy," she said, pulling up her wrist laser to hit him with. "No touching the Stark kids. We bite." She stared at the guard, who was horrified, then at the woman stomping her way. "Maybe you know why the magical tech bright light brought me from my own realm to here, ma'am? I really should be in my engineering symposium lecture right now instead of this charming parking lot with the bad guy who once tried to kidnap my pretty ass in my world."

The woman stared then shook her head. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That happens pretty often sometimes," she said with a grin for her. "But I'm pretty sure I wasn't tinkering with anything that brought me from my college to here. It felt like magical tech based on what I've seen around our compound."

"Okay," she said. "Where are you supposed to be?"

"Cal Sci in the engineering big meeting room for a lecture by a dweeb I can already outdo."

"Never heard of it. Let me call this in," she said, trying to look happy.

Callia stared at her. "Let me quote myself when I was little and just getting into my own magical gifts. Lying feels tingly in my head." She stared at her. "So, is Step...um, Steve in charge here like he is in my world or do you guys have a ferret of Nick Fury still being human?"

She shook her head. "We have neither of those."

"Oh. Shit." She looked around then frowned. "Uncle Phil?" she demanded.

"Not exactly," he said, coming over. "Who're you, miss?"

"Callia Stark. Tony's eldest child thanks to the NID knocking up my mom from his panties to quote my Auntie Dawn."

"Here he doesn't have children."

"Well, yours is in for a great shock." She grinned. "His other kids are hellions and Chris is my equal, but so much a boy," she sighed, shaking her head quickly. "He's going to be freaking out later if I can't get home." She stared at Phil. "So, I'm not sensing magic around you. Which could be bad since mine has abilities. Have you met Uncle Xander?"

"No, not that I'm aware of."

"Shit. So my natural realm is really far from this one because too many changes equals distance." He smiled slightly and nodded. "Okay. Any idea who pulled me from an engineering symposium lecture at my college to here? It felt like magical tech and you guys aren't that heavy on magic from what I'm sensing. Including no hellmouth." The lady gasped and held her mouth. She looked at her and grinned. "NID knocked up my mom Buffy." She nodded quickly. "A tv show or something?" Another nod. "Great!" She grimaced. "This is going to suck. I'm going to be grounded forever. Dad's going to have a panic attack on Stepmom." She sighed, looking at Phil again. "So, now what?"

"Now, let's get you to a room so you can sit down and we can take some readings and some statements," Phil decided.

"Sure, I could sit. I like sitting. Not in my former wheelchair but I like sitting." She followed him on her walker, pushing it since it was the wheeled kind. "So my dad here doesn't have kids at all?"

"Not that we've ever found," he admitted. "We can call him in."

"Sure, I don't mind. And when you find whoever brought me, can I have a few hits?"

"Can you hit?" he asked.

She smirked up at him. "I've been in self defense since I was six. I was a potential slayer until they removed me from the lines for being too smart." He shivered. "I'm really not the kid to mess with sometimes. Also, be aware that something happening near me will turn me into a Summers woman instead of a Stark. My 'has to happen' switch, as Auntie Dawn says, is set on 'fuck that' and I tend to react before I reason it out. I get it from my mom."

"I think you get it from both sides," Phil Coulson admitted. He let her into a meeting room. "There you go. Sit, we'll get you some water and a few geeks to take readings of your energy signature."

"Okay." She settled in with a sigh, her back to the wall next to the window, and wiggled a few times. "Better." She grinned.

"Not the corner?"

"That's Dad's spot. Or Uncle Clint's spot sometimes. I get the window because my job is to protect my siblings as we get away. Chris and I both have to be reminded of that sometimes."

He nodded. "That does sound like your father," he admitted as he walked off. "The realm breach we had?" he asked into the lab.

"Magical in nature," a female called.

"We know. It brought a Stark kid." They all stared at him. "His eldest daughter, who is already in college and looks twelve. But is on a rolling walker. She's in the meeting room." They went to take readings and one did get one of their doctors to look her over.

***

Phil walked into the meeting room that night, watching what she was tinkering with. "What's that?"

"A problem solver." She didn't look up. "I need a tiny bit of palladium if I can bum some. About half a gram." She did look up. "It'll mean I'm not vulnerable."

"Is it a weapon?"

"No. It's a nerve bridge." He raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. "The walker's a problem if whatever sent me here is huge."

"Probably true. I'll see if I can get you some."

"The lab geeks said they'd have to ask." She went back to tinkering. "Though if I'm making lasers, I've done it plenty of times before."

"I figure you did. Do you program like your father?"

She grimaced as she looked up. "Not really. It never really interested me. We have JARVIS but that's Dad's creation. I've started to change some of his old suits into medical rescue units but Chris likes the programming stuff more than I do. I did learn a bit from Benji but it's not my main skill. I can barely hack. Usually to get pretty pictures for Liz and Chris."

He sat across from her. "How many siblings do you have?"

She grinned. "Liz, Chris, and Maeve. Auntie Dawn's kids with Uncle Clint and Auntie Natasha are six now that she's given birth." She smiled. "I didn't have to watch her give birth this time, they did a c-section because the Asgardian goddesses were mean to create the triplets."

"Clint Barton has six kids?" he asked, looking confused.

She grinned and nodded. "There's Philip, who was because Uncle Clint was gone too long on assignment. Mira and Lexi were from Dad's halloween party where Auntie Dawn went as a fantasy warrior wench that looks like it came from Andrew's computer collection of fantasy wench art." He shivered but nodded. "Then the goddesses decided that they needed their own protector so knocked up Auntie Dawn with the triplets she just had a few weeks back. Two girls and the boy Chris and Philip have been begging for."

"What about yours?"

"Well, I came from an NID plot. They were trying to create new heros, which is why Auntie Dawn kept getting hit with fertility meds without her permission. Philip was almost a twin but there was a time switch to save humanity. One of the triplets came from that. Liz came to be magically thanks to something I cannot talk about but Andrew and Jonathan precipitated thanks to wanting to save the Auntie Dawns in other realms. But the machine saved problems later when my ghostly asshole grandfather called some heros from other realms."

She grimaced then let it clear up. "Chris came to be because Dad kinda had baby envy over Liz. A few babies in the company came from people having baby envy over Liz. Including Caroline and Allenetta, Andrew and Jonathan's babies. I actually got to see Chris being born. That's how they solved the 'where do babies come from' questions I used to have." She grinned. "Then I had a huge grounding trying to figure out why my baby brother looked different from your kids with Auntie Tara because he was circumcised and she didn't with her boys." She shrugged. "I spent six months grounded thanks to wondering about that. Then Maeve came to be because Stepmom, Uncle Steve, decided he had baby envy over Chris."

"I have kids?"

"With Auntie Tara. She's a pure wicca sort who vowed to only touch someone like a guy to create babies. So instead she and Auntie Maria had a lot of fights to work out because Auntie Maria is a workaholic." She smirked a tiny bit. "They have a set of twins and one each at the same time. Like Lexi and Mira, they might as well be twins. Your older twins were great teaching methods for all the other kids around us. Your husband got trained by them too."

"I'm with ...."

"Uncle Xander." She grinned and patted him on the hand. "You and Uncle Xander *really* had a lot of fits at Gaia for marrying you off without your permission but you finally got used to it and now you're happy."

"Gaia... he's Asgardian?"

"Well, half. His dad is Loki. His mom's cranked but a former Hindu river goddess before he banished her for trying to attack the family. She nearly married off my half-sister to Uncle John, her older son." She smiled. "Uncle Xander is the God Protector of Humanity and you're the Shield of SHIELD."

He moaned a tiny bit. "Wow." He leaned back. "How old are you?"

"Almost fourteen. Cal Sci made a slight loophole for me to attend their engineering school already since I all but graduated high school three years ago. I got my mandatories out of the way through my school and came in only need project hours. Dad tried *so* hard to talk about MIT but they wanted to start me back at 'this is a bridge, a motherboard, a robot' level and I was learning from everyone in the labs when I was a toddler. I learned songs about *everything*. Including in Norse thanks to Uncle Thor and Warren's robots trying to biobomb the whole company in New York with the flu. I still have no idea why he wanted a robotic girlfriend but the three he built were pretty decent at it."

"He...built..." Phil Coulson shook his head. "I know a few geniuses like that."

She grinned. "I told the boys they needed good girls, not super models because they looked like mean skanky hos. Two of them learned pretty well. The robotic aunts were pretty cool and can bake cookies so Chris and I sometimes go liberate them from the lab they're kept in."

"He built robots of who?"

"His first one wasn't. His other two were updated ones of Mommy Pepper and Auntie Natasha. That one looked up nuclear physics to explain something to me and do some paperwork for the lab while Auntie Dawn was in quarantine thanks to jackasses. Thankfully Warren did make her more like her sibling than her clone when she asked. Auntie Dawn told me she couldn't tell while talking to her that it wasn't really her."

"I need to see if they exist here and recruit them."

"He might be in a home. Ours is. His mind snapped." She shrugged slightly but grinned. "He's in Massachusetts s at the home up there."

"I know about that home. I'll check to see if he's up there." He stared at her. "Usually people like you were brought up wouldn't talk about their families. You're being very open."

She smiled. "If they somehow get pulled here, you'll put my siblings near me at least. Before Maeve destroys things by decorating or Liz by her evil inclinations for law and surgery stuff, or Chris just by being a nine-year-old-boy. Or Philip gets drawn thanks to inheriting the problem gene from Auntie Dawn and he destroys it just because he can."

"Boys can be that way. I was when I was younger."

She grinned. "I always complained that Dad made him do less homework than I did, but he found his ways to figure out what he wanted to do. Even if he does go to Grandpa Bruce for advice on his designs instead of Uncle Rodney like I did."

"Who's going to take over the suit?"

"He will. He likes components and racing things and fast things." She shrugged again but grinned. "He's already stolen it once for a battle we got yelled at about while I ran the computer stuff for him. And once to try flying out without the flying car he updated on the asshole Grandpa ghost."

"You don't like Howard?"

"Nope. The man bluntly told me I'm a girl so I'm useless. When I was still a potential slayer, he tried to tell Dad not to get attached to me. He told me I'm useless because one of Dad's enemies shot me in the spine. He claimed it was to push me to make me stronger. Turns out he was just an asshole with plans who needs banished. We managed to lock him in a demolished house in the Caribbean but not fully yet." She looked at the window then at him. "By the way, I can feel arc reactor energy. It's a different tingly feeling than ambient magic." Tony Stark, not her dad but another one, stomped in. She grinned at him. "Hey, not-quite-my-dad."

"Prove it."

"DNA work since they drew some earlier?" she quipped. She pulled out her wallet and looked then held up a picture. "Taken just after some creepy guy in Europe wanted to date me at nine before I got ruined by you. It was nice the LAPD arrested him for sending the tacky gifts and knew that Grandma was more scary than Grandpa Grr Guy was at that moment."

Tony took the wallet to look through then at that picture. "She's from a tv show."

"Auntie Dawn? Yeah, I heard that already. My mom was Buffy. Mommy Pepper took in Auntie Dawn when the hellgoddess was after her and when Grandma was in the hospital."

He handed it back. "You still call her Mommy?"

"Yup." She grinned. "She said me calling her Mother or by her name made her feel creepy and old. Said I wasn't about to become some horror movie psychopath so I wasn't allowed to use Mother at all. I still call Uncle Steve stepmom too because he's the biggest fussy stepmom ever." Tony burst out laughing but nodded. She crossed her arms and leaned on the table, staring at him. "So, since things clearly aren't the same here since I never came to be, or my siblings, why was I sent or pulled here?"

"I don't know," he admitted, staring at her. "Do you use the suit?"

"For medical rescues and for animal things. Chris wants the suit. I was always wary of taking it over on you because I didn't like the stuff. I'm not into racing or components really. I like the tech on it and I've updated a few things on it for you because you needed a better amplifier and a few other things, but Chris really loves racing things and components. I like lasers and sometimes toys and I also built something to seal body holes so the hos that kept bothering Andrew would have their brains sealed in so they quit getting rusty." He tried not to laugh at that. "I like to build stuff but the suit's too flashy and too loud and too obvious. Even if I didn't have the spinal injury."

"How?"

"A douchebag that used to think he was your rival and equal that wasn't Hammer." She grimaced. "I met him and pointed out he was worthless and less of a man than you were because he taunted me that people in science wouldn't listen to a genius in a wheelchair."

"There's some but no, he's wrong for the most part." He considered her. "How old us Chris?"

"About five years younger than me. By about six weeks." She grinned. "He built my wheelchair a stair climber and a laser. We're both creeped out by Liz though. Between the surgery shows she binges and the law books she seems to think are neat, we're really scared we're going to have to take out an evil overlord. Though Auntie Dawn has said she'd sent her to the evil genius program at some prep school on the east coast. Maeve just likes clothes so far and decorating."

He shook his head quickly. "I can't believe I have four kids."

"Well, genetically you have two," she admitted with a grin. "Me and Chris. Liz is all a mini Pepper and Maeve is artistic like her dad."

"I'm with...."

She smirked and nodded. "But you're not loud like Auntie Dawn so we have no idea if you guys do more than cuddle. That's why Chris and I both asked Auntie Dawn why married people got loud instead of you." He coughed to try to hide the smile. "Grandpa Bruce *really* hates being asked those things and Grandma just told me I needed to ignore it until I was at least old enough to date."

He nodded. "Probably a good idea." He stared at her. "Anything else I should know in case they get sent here?"

"Yeah, I hope they didn't bring my pets. I'd hate to kill people to rescue my dog, cats, or the bunny."

He nodded. "You have pets?"

"A demonic cat breeder left me some when he died. They're named after the family and they got them really right. Then I got a dog that same night thanks to a mini witch having a meltdown. And I got the bunny from Uncle Xander when Warren's first robotic girlfriend biobombed the building in New York with super flu germs because she was jealous. It meant I learned teaching songs from Uncle Thor and Uncle Xander, and got Carrot. Who is a huge bunny. He's about thirty-five pounds."

"That is a big bunny," Tony agreed. She pulled out a picture to show him her animals hovering around her in a hospital bed. "Wow."

"The big one is Hellion, Uncle Xander's warpuppy. I had pneumonia from going out in the rain to walk Xander dog. They were very comforting and creeped out the nurses."

Tony let Phil see it and Phil looked then handed it back. "So....what's going on?"

"No clue," she admitted, shaking her head with a sigh. "I was in an engineering symposium lecture at Cal Sci. Then there was a huge light. Thankfully I had my wallet on me and not in my backpack. Chris has got to be throwing a fit at home and Auntie Dawn is probably out of bed to help. All I know is there was techno-magic when I landed."

He nodded once. "Okay, we can figure it out."

"Please do. I may turn into a Summers woman now and then instead of a Stark girl, but those are bad times that get me lectured about things like common sense and kids shouldn't shoot at bad guys."

"Yeah, that's something I'd say too," Tony admitted impatiently. "Happen often?"

"Few times. Once when we had a realm merge, which was the most recent one a few months back. We were defeating the boogers from HYDRA and some sort of AI that was trying to kill everyone." He winced. "We heard why. Chris and I agreed that it was a problem that had to be solved if he didn't want the suit. We agreed it was a great plan but sucked in programming. Chris kept muttering he could do it better until our Dad and the other two Dad's with us got onto his ass for it."

Tony walked off shaking his head. "Stay here, where it's safe, and we'll try to figure out how to send you home."

"Okay. Have fun with Stepmom."

"Not likely. We're not speaking."

"Just give him a blowjob, Dad. It worked last time." He choked and spluttered. She looked at Phil. "You and Uncle Xander just gain wings and go flying and do that at the temple."

He nodded as he walked off. "The DNA does check out," he told Stark quietly.

"Yeah, she's clearly ours. And we both feel about the same about my dad." He looked at him. "Any clue?"

"Pulled here not pushed here as far as we can tell."

"Can we reverse it?"

"We know nothing beyond that."

"Okay." He looked in there then at him. "What's she tinkering with?"

"She said it'd make sure she wasn't vulnerable and told me it wasn't a weapon. She said she needs a few grams of paladium to finish it."

"Yeah, I can do that. Let me know if she goes to weapons."

"She claims she can build lasers."

"Of course she can. They're basic." He went to send her some things to help her tinker while he tried to figure out how to get her home. He did tell Pepper to warn her before gossip got back to her. She had the feed pulled up on her computer. "She tested out as mine."

She looked up. "That was certain without the DNA, Tony. She just bragged this got her out of a Stark event and the dressing up." He grinned, kissing her on the temple. "So...."

"No clue how she got pulled here."

"We're sure?"

"Coulson was."

"Hmm." She grimaced. "I can't believe she has siblings."

"You gave her siblings. Three of them." She gave him a horrified look. "Liz, Chris, and Maeve."

"Oh, damn. No, not going to happen here."

"Good! I might freak out." He sat down, staring at her. "I'm sending her stuff to tinker with before she gets bored and creates something bad."

"It's something you'd do, yes."

"Did you ever watch the show her mother and aunt came from?"

"Few things here and there. I'm not much for supernatural things."

"Hmm. The same thing for me." He grimaced. "So, what do we do?"

"Why is she using a walker?"

"She got shot in the back by a rival of mine. Not Hammer but another one."

"Shit."

"Yup. So I'm guessing she's either working her way up or that was as healed as she could get."

"I keep wondering if her version of me is having a fit."

"Ya think?" he demanded dryly. "You'd have a hissy to end all hissies and probably destroy the state."

"If I'd stop there it'd be miraculous," she agreed.

***

Back in Callia's realm, Pepper was now hoarse from the ranting and screaming at people. She panted, looking at her Tony. "What. The. Fuck. Happened."

"Huge spike of energy," Bruce said, staying in the doorway. Pepper was a really scary women when she wanted to be. "We have her backpack. It did take her walker with her so she's not helpless."

Pepper glared at him then at Tony, who was on the couch tapping at his tablet. "Do we know anything else?"

"Pushed and pulled both. Something here was trying to dislocate her and that one caught her and pulled."

Dawn stomped in, past Bruce, who got out of the way. She was glowing. "I'm going to do something heroically bad but it'll mean she's not helpless."

"We have her backpack," Bruce offered.

"We can do that." She stared at Tony, who nodded. "Put things she'll need to build a nerve bridge."

"Shit, I forgot," he admitted, getting up to go to the lab. He brought back a smaller bag to put in there. Dawn weeded out her books but left two in there and wrote a note on her notebook. They put in a few extra things, including a knife. Natasha stomped in and added two guns with filled clips. And a hair pin that was a hidden weapon. Dawn got a few clean sets of clothes, she'd need to change sometime. And then she put in her two design tablets and padded them with a lap blanket and two shrunken bags of necessities for magic and being a girl. She concentrated and sent it at her niece. "She's in a realm with a Phil," Dawn announced. "I felt him catch the backpack."

"He'll watch out for her or stick her in a lab," Stark decided. "We haven't met one yet where he's evil and my daughter would just take over on him if he was." He walked off to go figure that out. Before he lost his temper and found the limit that would let him start to do magic.

Dawn looked at Natasha, who patted her on the arm. "We will figure it out and get her home soon. She is prepared in case an emergency happened," Natasha reminded her. "She will handle it if she has to then go hide because she still has no sense."

Pepper laughed but nodded, staring to cry. Dawn hugged her and they could handle it until they made it to that realm to kill whoever had done it.

***

Phil Coulson, head of SHIELD, caught the backpack that had been banished. Plain backpack, pretty simple. All but the sparkly keychain light that was on a pull. He looked at it then set it off at the wall to see if it had a use. Yup, it was a Stark backpack because the light was a laser that had burned his wall. He looked in there. Guns. Knives. Hidden weapons. Bag with tampons. Bag with electrical components and tool kit. Bigger tool kit in the bottom. Two tablets that were branded with 'Stark Industries' on the back. He frowned. Melinda May walked in. "Did you see our refugee?"

"I did. What is she building?"

"I don't know but she said it's not a weapon."

"Hmm." She looked in the bag. "We should take the weapons."

"She might need them." They shared a look. "We'll tell her we have the guns. We can defeat a knife, even if she was taught by Natasha Romanoff herself. She's still got movement issues."

"Agreed," she said, taking those out. She did drop in two bullets, which amused her boss, and went to bring it in there. "Stark." She looked up from soldering. "This was sent magically."

"That's my backpack for school." She took it to look through, frowning at something. "I'm not building sonic devices, Dad," she muttered as she looked through the component bag. She looked up. "I need a half gram of palladium."

"What are you building?"

"A nerve bridge I created so I could get up and move if I had to."

"Oh. That's reasonable." She went to get her some and came back. "For safety reasons we confiscated the guns that were left."

"Reasonable," she agreed with a grin. "I'll be okay. Don't feel the need to dance attendance on me. Just remind me to eat please. I inherited that from Dad and there's no Auntie Dawn here to do that."

"I can have someone do that." She left her to watch her finish her nerve bridge. The girl got it done and soldered it closed then sighed and turned it on. It lit up so she turned it off then put it onto her back with a grunt of pain. Then she turned it on and stood up slowly, shaking some. She stretched and nodded then sat back down and turned it off again. So she wasn't helpless by any means. She got into the component bag, pouring it out on the table then nodding and starting something else. She ran into something but patted it and put it aside for now. She knew she was being watched.

***

That night, Callia woke up like usual at about three am. She sat up, pulling the small green ball that had been in with the tampons closer. She lifted it up and stared at it. "Thank you for the lending, Auntie Dawn," she muttered. The ball giggled. She petted it. "We're in major trouble and the wrong realm, Key baby." It merged with her and she meditated for a bit to let it integrate with her magic. Yeah, that would help. It told her what was going on and she was boned if they couldn't solve it. She groaned and looked at the meager things she had. She repacked her bag and got her walker, breaking out of the meeting room to go to the bathroom. Her walker had a basket for her pack and a water bottle she refilled from a fountain.

She went to the lab and startled a guard, waving him off as she headed for something in the corner. "We're boned," she told the scientist in her way, staring at them. "You have an alien problem coming and in my realm they couldn't defeat him, only send him off. And I think Asgard was destroyed." The scientist opened her mouth. "Shit just got hard, sweetie. Move. I need a computer to get three things from it." She hip checked the lady and got under the table to tear the computer apart to get the components she needed. She heard a male cleared throat.

"Auntie Dawn sent a message with some stuff for me to use. We have a huge alien problem coming. Asgard is possibly no more." She looked out at the science geek. She knew who he was, Grandpa had worked with him a few times. "Sorry, Doctor Fitz, but the fate of the world and all that shit has to come first." She got back into what she needed, finding two. "How stupid, you don't have the right type of conductor wire." She got out and winced but rolled her walker off to find some in the storage closet. She found it and settled to build something. "This is a detector," she noted when he tried to take it. "Because we can't beat Thanos." She looked at him. "My dad and them couldn't beat Thanos even with five war gods and a lot of other Gods helping."

"Your realm has Gods?"

"Yeah, and Uncle Phil married into the family as it were. Ours is a God over Heros."

"That's so weird."

"Yup. But he can travel on hellmouth energy or in other ways. We need to get the detector working so we have some warning. Because I've only seen pictures of the weapons they built to hurt him so we could banish him at home." He nodded, settling in to watch her build it. "I need better conducting wires. Like super computer wire for micro communications." He got some and handed it over. She finished around daybreak and sat up with a moan, holding her back before getting a drink. She turned it on and nodded. "He's close but not here yet. We have other aliens, powerful ones who aren't Uncle Thor."

"Loki?" he asked.

She smiled at him. "He nearly became our First Husband because he was screwing a president for influence. He went to make deals with a group conspiracy sorts say rules things but Uncle Xander cursed him to work with the Light until he let him go. And he's Philip's godfather." She grinned. "He pissed off Auntie Dawn." She considered it and held her upper stomach, talking to the Key. "No, that won't work. Shit." She looked around and took someone's project to fix it on them and finish it. "We'll need it. We don't have a consortium of crafting Gods making weapons here."

He nodded. "We definitely don't." He made a report to Coulson, who came in to gather her so they could ask about that battle.

"I was like three," she said when Coulson came in. "All I remember is a few pictures and a problem that meant that Uncle Clint and Aunties Dawn and Natasha had to go on the run thanks to someone at SHIELD handing them to a group in Romania that wanted to make new heros so they had to run and hide." She looked back at him. "I read a report on the battle. They had five war gods, sixteen other gods, all the avengers, Auntie Dawn, and only managed to banish him."

"I did not see that note."

She grinned. "Auntie Dawn has magic. She laid a magical memo on me." She went back to it. "We had two weapons from the report. One was godly made and went home with them. The other one Dad built but it only injured him. I remember they had to get the stones to depower him but he was listed as an immortal." Coulson nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "It also killed five gods and sent another few out of corporeal state so they had to regain it. That happened to Uncle Xander. Auntie Dawn nearly joined him but they stabilized each other somehow." She looked back at him again. "He came through the Sunnydale hellmouth that time. This time, no hellmouth, no cult trying to call him. So he's just traveling."

"All right. What did you build?"

"A sensor," she said with a point. "It detects alien energy. There's some already down here but it should start to glow brightly and maybe beep if I hooked up that audio board right." She looked at him again. "If there's stones here, we have to get them off realm or hidden so he cannot get to them. Because if he wins, he's going to gift his girlfriend Death some of her area. Him showing up in our realm started off a ton of earthquakes during the battle. You were still a regular agent sort then so you weren't there. It was too huge for regular weapons. Or SGC weapons. I wonder if I can build a zat. No, I'd need naqqadah," she muttered, looking at the table then at her project again. She finished and handed it to her monitor. "That should work now. Jonathan uses something that on his Roomba army with Andrew." She turned and took a drink from her water bottle, shrugging at him. "If they pulled me here for that reason I'm not going to be a ton of help. I might be able to talk to one of the stones thanks to my own magic but no telling."

"All right," he agreed. "How strong is your magic?"

"Not very," she admitted. "And I have not trained in more than meditative things, potions, and minor things thanks to the coven training me being very defensive instead of offensive duty stuff. The same as Auntie Tara is. If I wasn't limping I probably would've went to the pagan gym Auntie Dawn uses in New York to train there."

"Okay," he agreed. "How do we know when he gets here?"

She pointed at the detector. "That should glow, bleep, and get annoying when there's a bigger powered or energy form from an alien source. I set it up to detect non-gamma but non-solar energy or ZPM void energy."

"What's a ZPM?" her monitor asked.

She grinned. "Uncle Rodney's project at the SGC uses it. I've only learned the basics and it's *super* dangerous to create. Like he destroyed most of a solar system."

"We have that as a show," he said smugly.

"Cool." She grinned. "Uncle Rodney's one of my favorite mentors. We know going to Dad is the easy answer so Chris and I both picked other mentors to help us when we need it. Most of mine and his are in our tinkering group. Plus my math teacher." She considered it then sighed. "This is going to suck but yeah, we can handle it." She looked up. "Sorcerer! I summon thee!" she yelled in Latin. "Appear here now!" A sorcerer appeared looking less than amused. "Hi, Callia Stark," she said with a grin and a wave.

"I can sense your passenger you gained last night."

"Yeah, Auntie Dawn sent it to protect me. Thanos is coming." He flinched, shaking his head. She nodded. "The Key scried, dude. He's on his way. Like soon." He nodded. "You have something he desperately wants."

"He could want yours."

"He can't use a Key. The stones aren't the same. I may be able to summon one but I can't be sure so you need to hide that shit. Today." She pointed at the detector. "We already have alien energy down here." He nodded. "Can you pass that on with a slap upside the head for the head sorcerer please? And tell him not to try to kill me like he tried to kill my aunt for daring to save the plane her mother and stepfather was on?"

"I...I know of that incident," he admitted.

"I remember sitting by her bed in the infirmary when it happened," she said dryly. "And if he steps into my face that way, I'll turn into my aunt." She grinned. "But we don't have to do that."

"No, we should not, child. I'll warn him." He disappeared.

She growled. "I hate adults sometimes," she muttered. "Fuck this shit." She got up and rolled off to get more water and go to the bathroom again. She summoned all the stuff from her backpack, she could summon anything with Dawn's magic. And something else showed up. She looked at the wand. "Interesting." She put it into the bag and rolled off again. She found an empty room and pulled in a chair. She parked her rolling walker then turned on the nerve bridge again so she could stretch. She was not going to be a liability. Coulson walked in with a blonde lady.

"I need to stretch before I lock up. Physical therapy was good at teaching me that." The lady reached for her back so she hit her, making her smirk then jumped up to kick her around some. The lady was good but she was a damn Summers and she was not a one-trick Stark pony either. The woman went flying into the wall with a shove of magic after a heel strike to her chest.

"Don't touch the nerve bridge, lady. I don't want to be helpless because you're a woose and a cunt." She walked back to go back to stretching. She winced as she stretched backwards. "Damn it, I'm out of practice again," she told herself. She used the chair to stretch on until her back hurt for real. Then she sat down on the chair to stretch down and reached back to turn off the bridge. She whistled and her walker rolled over.

"How did you train?" Coulson asked.

She smiled up at him. "I had a number of trainers because they thought I'd be a slayer some day. I also took gymnastics because I wanted to and swim lessons." She grinned. "Dad got me a few very good trainers that made sure I could make it out of any situation I might find myself in. Even with bad guys coming after me."

The blonde lady snorted. "Bad guys? Are you three?"

Callia stared at her. "Cunt, I got shot in the back by a guy who thought he was a rival to my father because I was going to be greater than my Dad is and ever will be, and I'd eclipse that idiot and his son. He had to drag one of the bad idiots that Uncle Barney was training to help him do it. My lasers managed to kill them both when I got shot by surprise because I was taking my dog out for a walk." She stared at her. "By the way, the dye job? Pitiful. You have roots."

She stretched up slowly and sighed then nodded. "That's better." She looked at Coulson again. "I had ones that taught me how to fight, how to do obstacle courses, how to think my way out of things, and then I went to train a few weekends with Uncle Xander and him training newbie SHIELD and SGC people. I haven't asked a higher source than Ronon to help teach me but I hopefully won't need to know what war gods know anytime in my life unless I'm really unlucky or I'm really stupid. Auntie Dawn is trying to keep me from being the sort of stupid that would need to know that. So far I've only had to shoot four people, none fatally because Uncle Clint was fantastic at teaching me to wound."

"I figured they taught you."

"Only informally. Dad got me people who emphasized my mind over my muscles."

He nodded. "That's how he handles things too."

She grinned. "As some idiot Aunt Dawn took down said, Starks are like roaches. We'll survive a nuclear holocaust then make someone pay for making us fix it for them."

He snorted, looking amused as he nodded. "Yes he probably would." He looked at the blonde lady then at her. "Be less reactive."

"I'm realistic, Coulson. I'm not supposed to be here. You have no desire to protect my precious ass because I'm not supposed to be here and you see me as a problem to be solved because of my age and my infirmity. I know damn well if something comes for me here because I have magic or I'm a Stark that no one person in this building will do more than put up the most basic of protection. I'm not the princess that grew up with bodyguards.

"I'm not the bimbo celebutante assassin that learned how to kill people in her prep school. I'm a Goddess-damned Stark and I'm an amazing one because I can use magic too. If they come for me I need to be able to protect myself." The blonde lady tried to get her nerve bridge again and she summoned it back when she did manage to grab it. "Sorry, I'm not going to play helpless bimbo so you can have a heroic moment saving my ass."

"I wouldn't, kid."

"Obviously." She put it back on and turned it back on then off. She took it off to look at it then she zapped magic at the thing that had tried to break the bridge. The woman screamed as her arm burned. "I can fix that easily enough. I had to do it once when we got run off the road." She looked at Coulson again. The lady tried to grab her by the hair so she shoved real magic at her, making her shriek as she floated and glowed and nearly exploded. She stared up at her.

"Try it again, bitch. I may be a Stark but I can turn into a Summers woman very easily. You're pushing me there." She let her go, watching her thump to the floor. "I'm not the happy genius I was when I was ten. I'm not the paranoid one that mined our building with lasers to protect my family from spies and idiots who wanted to harm us or my aunt's family. I've been through all that, and life threatening situations, and shot assassins a few times to protect myself and others. I'm. Not. The. Miniature. Genius. To. Fuck. With," she said slowly and clearly. She looked at Coulson again. "She probably needs a painkiller. The vibration of her cellular matrix probably hurt." She raised an eyebrow. "So what can I do to help you until Thanos gets here and I have to hide?"

"You're very mean," he said.

"I'm self protective."

"A good point. Still."

She grinned. "Potatoh, potaatoe as you taught me."

He smiled slightly. "I learned that from Clint."

"Auntie Dawn gets pulled into trouble all the time and she never tells anyone. They get really mad when they find out she had to be a self rescuing bitch."

"Quit swearing."

She smirked. "A bitch is a woman who knows she has to be strong enough and forceful enough to not get run over by guys who think they're big shots and they're little turds. Pepper has it, Aunt Dawn has it, I inherited it from both sides and I'm damn strong enough to run over anyone I need to so I'm protecting what's mine. After all, some day I might have to take over SI. I still need to find my own version of Pepper." She shook her head quickly then drank more of her water.

"That sounds a lot like what Miss Potts would say. How long can the bridge work?"

"It hurts a lot after a half-hour. I can push past it if I have to. I've had to in the past. I'll just lay in bed and moan for a few days afterward."

"If you can't?"

"I'll try to stop time."

"Oh." He grimaced. She grinned. "Can you?"

"I'm not good at spell work really. Auntie Dawn might have a copy of it though." He shook his head. She grinned. "It says something that Gods consider her too hard to test because she's beaten a few. Including Loki to make him a godfather."

Coulson shuddered. "I can't even imagine."

She flapped a hand and grinned. "Liz convinced Philip and Chris that they needed to be girls to fit in with the rest of us. Or at least pretty boys. Liz used to hand over her leftover dresses, get them makeup, all sorts of stuff. Loki got them a magazine for transvestites and a beauty how-to magazine. Uncle Clint punched him in the nose for it but they do fantastic jobs when they dress up to do things. If I have to do Stark events, I let Chris do my make up and Philip do my nails because they do it better than me." He burst out laughing. "Dad finally got through to them that they didn't have to be girls or wear dresses, but by now they like it. Philip went into fits of joy when he was a younger guy about the _Three Musketeers_ movies because they had horses and lace and swords. Now he's a bit goth."

Philip Coulson had to lean on the wall to laugh. "Oh, damn," he muttered, shaking his head. He looked at her. "Can they fight?"

"Philip? He's had some self defense with Chris but his moms don't want him to fight. They'd like him to be a doc or something if possible. Auntie Natasha insisted he learn but not enough unless he lost his mind and took her guns, his mother's dwarven chainmail, and his dad's bow."

"I can't imagine a kid between Clint and Natasha," he admitted, calming himself down.

"Well, Philip did have a time when he decided he was a cat. He used to meow at everyone and even used the litterbox a few times." He walked off giggling. She looked at the woman on the floor. "Just don't push me and let me defend myself. Okay?" she asked quietly. "If my dad could create a suit of chaos in a cave, I can protect myself."

"You're too young," she said.

She shrugged but grinned. "We were all young once. I'm hoping Liz doesn't have magic so we're not cursed to being young a second time." She groaned as she limped off. She went to look in the changing area. No shower. Great! Well, she'd been longer without a shower.

***

Callia's detector set up a bleeping shriek of noise. Everyone looked at it. "That's sensing alien energy," one of the lab geeks noted.

"Someone tell the boss," another geek noted. Their intern went running up the halls.

Callia came rolling in and looked then reset it. "I knew it was an annoying sound." She went to the bathroom she was using, going to run water into the sink to scry from it. The toilet was too shallow so she couldn't do it in there. She stared, waving the geek in. "Alien," she said with a point. "We didn't have that one."

He looked over her shoulder, frowning as he took film from his camera. He checked and it was taping. Coulson came in to see for himself. They saw two aliens being fought and the heros won against them but the aliens disappeared.

Callia looked up at them. "That means they can come back, right?" They nodded. "Great. Let me hose off and change clothes. It's been a few days and I doubt I'll have time later on." They showed her to a changing area that had a shower, making her sigh in pleasure. She came out damp but redressed and rolling up the halls to the meeting room. She flopped down. She looked at their version of her father. "Did you get what I remembered of that battle?" He nodded. "It help any?"

"Gave me an idea, kid. Don't worry about it. You're too valuable to risk."

She smirked at him. "And if what was worried about was right, he's going to try to take out most everyone. Even those who aren't there."

Tony Stark grimaced. "That's going to suck. We need to go to New York. The Sorcerer."

"I tried to warn him," Callia reminded them. "He's a smug asshole who nearly killed my aunt for stopping a plane crash."

"Is she usually that powerful?" another agent asked.

"No. She miscarried, she browned out herself and Uncle Xander's godly powers and another two gods were in shock from the power usage for weeks." They all nodded. "He decided she shouldn't try to save people because she has magic and he's got an ego. They managed to save the flight with Grandma, Grandpa Bruce, and another about hundred-fifty people." She frowned as she looked up. "Huh. We've got an air disturbance. That's so weird." She rubbed her ears. "Guys, who's flying in?"

Coulson looked up then called in. "We have an air disturbance?" He listened. "We need to move," he noted. "How did you know that?" he asked Callia.

"I don't really want the suit, I get air sick. Even helicopters coming in makes me air sick." She opened her walker and plopped her backpack into the basket, then rolled off. "Where am I heading?"

"Go with the lab staff," Stark ordered. "They can guard you and if they pick on you, kick their asses like your aunt taught you." She smirked back at him before heading for the lab. He looked at Coulson. "That me must be pulling my hair out having a teenage daughter."

"Most parents seem to during the teenage daughter years." He made sure the rest of the staff was being evacuated then got onto the last flight out. He checked with the lab staff. They had Callia on the plane, with her walker, and were behaving for now. He called the other bases to get people moved and ready to handle the upcoming alien problem. An alert for the lab made him look at his phone. "She did program that alarm to have the most annoying noise," he said quietly. "Stark." He let him see it.

Tony Stark nodded. "Great. More of them. Get us where we need to be. I'm going to New York. Pepper's there anyway." He let his suit form around him as he walked to the back gate and jumped off. He flew off, heading for New York, Pepper, and bad aliens that needed to go home.

In her jet, Callia saw him fly past and went 'huh'. "Nano tech. Dad rejected that idea." She went back to her design tablets, looking over her ideas to see if she had anything that could help. She had a few...but they might be too weak for this problem. They were for normal problems, not super aliens. But she could hype them or turn them up or something. She looked at Fitz. "Get me to a design lab with real components. I may have a few things that could help." He moved to look at the designs she had.

***

Callia made her way to the battlefield in Wakanda. Maybe she could help. She fired off her new weapons designs, which she had talked the SHIELD geeks through making, and hit a few good targets. And one that had a shield. So she worked to get that down.

"What are you doing here! You're a child!" a male voice yelled.

She looked over. "Damn, I almost thought you were my stepmom," she called back. "He sounds the same damn way. Have to talk to him about the beard thing though, not sure if Dad would like it." She figured it out and fixed it. That shield went down so they could fire on that idiot alien. She was really not happy but she was a Stark and they had to do things to save the rest who couldn't do it themselves. She shot something at the main alien. Then she felt him get a stone and winced. "Oh, no." She handed off the weapon as she considered options. She pulled up her magic. "Come to me, baby," she called quietly. "C'mon, come home." She felt three of the stones react and take notice.

"C'mon. He's a bad guy, babies. Come to me. I know I'm not Auntie Dawn and the original Key. Or Liz and hers. Please?" She held out a hand and two stones came to her. She cuddled them with a sigh. "Soul stone baby?" she called, looking that way. Thanos was staring at her. "C'mon, baby soul stone. You know he'll do bad things with you." It wobbled but Thanos captured it again. She pulled out something and fired it at the idiot alien evil thing. Thanos screamed but the glove broke. She summoned the pieces of the glove. She got everything but the soul stone. She backed away and ducked down as they attacked nearer to her so the others could cover her position, praying hard at her Uncle Xander. She had learned that lesson, she was not an army, not a warrior, and the one over Heros and Protectors needed to hear from her more often when she had these Summers woman moments.

She felt magic and looked up. "Please don't make it Auntie Dawn. She's just had the triplets," she prayed. And there was an explosion. And her father, and stepmother, and brother running her way. "What the hell are you doing, Christopher!" she demanded. "Oh, fuck, I turned into Stepmom," she muttered. Chris smirked and nodded, helping her up. "Get the walker." He whistled and it followed them back to the portal. She looked at gems then at the local Stark. She flipped him one. Then a second one. "The egotistical ass that nearly killed my aunt holds that one usually." Dawn pulled them through. "I've got stones," she admitted, holding up the other two.

Dawn looked and petted them. "Good babies. Go mute for a few so we can hide you again." She stepped into the portal and looked over there. "Hey, baby me. C'mon. Get away from him before he warps you into a bad stone." It wobbled again. She glared her best mom glare and it flew over. "Good baby." She petted it, staring at Thanos, who was gaping in horrified awe. "Go home. Before I have to get mean. I still have post-birth hormone swings." She handed Liz the stone, then took it from her and handed it to Chris, before stepping over and raising her hands and casting an earth healing charm.

It repelled all the evil ones that were damaging it. She heard their Gaia take notice and wake up so smirked a tiny bit, bowing to the king she knew about. She looked at Thanos again. "We beat the you in our realm." He roared and came forward but Thor showed up with his special axe. That and the barrage of weapons, and he went down. Not dead, but seriously injured. She bent down to create a few pretty, special flowers and winked at a staring warrior woman. "They're special to Gaia. The ground could use all the healing it can get. Boss, let's go," she ordered. "The portal's getting weak."

"Coming," he called. He, Clint, Phil, and Steve ran for the portal. She smiled and bowed slightly to the local Stark. "Have fun and if she gave you ideas, go for it." She strolled off.

"Wait, how did you do that?" a female voice called.

Dawn smiled and waved. "Come to our realm for a bit and we'll teach you, Princess." She winked. "If not, find some way to write a penpal. The kids could use sensible people who knew science talking to them. They have no sense." She made sure all her people were back then walked back through. It let the ones holding the portal open close it. She leaned against a wall, letting herself shake. "Well." She stared at her niece.

"Not my fault!" Callia defended. "I built a detector. I built a few weapons. I was out of the way until he got the last stone then I summoned it with the Key's help since you sent me one!"

Tony Stark looked at his daughter, then sighed as he stomped off. "I'm going to get out of the suit, have a drink, then yell at my children for doing that. Christopher, get you and your sister to the infirmary to be checked, then go sit on the damn couch!"

Chris looked at his sister. "We didn't even get yelled at like that for helping that one battle," he said quietly. Steve swatted them both so they went to the infirmary.

Steve looked at Dawn. "You good?"

"Bit tired," she admitted. "Bit worn out. Need to go nap and if the kids need fed, I need to nap through it." She wandered off. "Pepper, did you get the kids?" she called as she walked. Pepper handed them over. She had all the kids together in case they needed to be moved thanks to the portal. "C'mon, nap time, kids." The girls pouted. "I don't care. Nap time with Mommy." They pouted all the way down to the guest suites. Mommy's word was law and they knew that. Even Maeve, who had followed her besties.

Pepper looked at the others, who headed for the infirmary. Clint was shaking his head but he was used to Dawn's ways by now. He'd go cuddle her and make her feel better in a few minutes. Natasha looked over, she had been in the back line since she couldn't do a great deal against an alien invasion. He grinned a bit, ducking his head. She went to check on Dawn first, then he followed after his mandatory post-battle check.

Pepper finally made it back to their apartment, finding the two hiding kids had been pulled out so Steve could nag. She looked at her eldest daughter. "What did you do?"

"I didn't have a damn thing to do with that," she said, looking at her mom. "Not a single blessed thing. I was in the lecture and then there was a bright light and a parking lot and SHIELD. They said I had been pulled there."

"There was a slight accident here that led to a temporal anomaly but you were pulled a few seconds before then," Stark said as he came out of his office area. "Then you..."

"Assessed how different things were because more different equals more realms away. Got asked about my sibs by the you there and the Uncle Phil there, who I pointed out I gave enough information so if any of my sibs showed up he'd put them with me instead of in a room by themselves. He asked why I was chatty." She grinned slightly at him. "I built a new nerve bridge based on my updated design. I built a detector for alien energy thanks to what the Key Auntie Dawn leant me felt going on. Then the attacks started and I had a few things on my tablets that could help. Because I don't want that realm to go missing their version of any of you." She stared at her father. "So I was working on those in the lab and then the lab got attacked. So we all took everything to Wakanda. Which, by the way, we need to make nice with, Dad."

He smirked. "We are. Kinda."

"Good! They have people who're as good as us." She grinned. "And about our age. If I went for girls, I'd so hit on the princess." He snorted but looked amused. "So they had to bring me when the lab was attacked. I was setting up heavier weapons on the sidelines to stay out of the way of harm hopefully. They blew up the plane before anyone says something about me staying in it." Stark sat down, staring at her. "So I felt him grab a stone and that was a bad thing so I fired on them. The rest were firing near him and at the army he brought or the machines he brought.

"I didn't have time to try to hack them so we just blew them up. When we got to him, I got notice and he tried to attack us so I fell back to plan B, magic. I summoned a stone." He winced. "The Key is like a sister to them or something. She said it was a workable plan. She had been talking to them through the whole battle. Though I did end up with one thing that was alien in nature but not sure why."

She pulled the wand out of her pack and held it up. "It was in the SHIELD base and came when I summoned anything alien." Tony took it to look over and put aside. "Then I started to pray to Uncle Xander because I remember I was reminded to do that when we were in Eureka instead of going into a battle and I was scared. So that's when the portal opened. Thanks for the rescue, Dad."

He stared at her. "That battle nearly killed most of us, daughter."

"Yeah but he was being impressive here instead of there when he went for lazy and had allies. He didn't use the stones before we got to him hardly at all, if at all. Bigger battle there."

He nodded. "I saw that. We were scrying while trying to get the portal open. I never want to see you with a weapon ever again, daughter."

"Not my fault," she reminded him impatiently. "I did what I had to do to protect my cute ass." He glared. She stared back. "Would you have done any differently?"

"Well....probably not. What about your designs?" She winced. "At least they're on that realm."

"I kinda have a built-in destruct code if you download anything from my tablets anymore. Chris helped me write it with Benji's help." He stared in open-mouthed shock. "No more industrial spies," she quipped. Chris nodded with a goofy looking grin.

Tony Stark looked at his son. "You're not that dumb, quit pretending to be a mimbo, son." Chris rolled his eyes. "You were not to run across to help either, son."

"You guys were busy!" he defended. "I just got sissy and her walker back." He shrugged. "Someone had to do it and you were really busy!"

"Fine," he sighed. "You get to be talked to by Steve and your grandmother tomorrow for debriefing." Callia made a whining noise. "Tough, dear. Has to happen after any event. That's the price we all pay for coming out of the lab."

"Yeah, I need to quit doing that. Did it disrupt the speaker at the lecture enough to get him off how great he supposedly was?"

"Yeah. He threw an awesome fit that you somehow did it on purpose to discredit him."

"Not likely but I'm wondering if he's going to be like Hammer was for you since he thinks he's great and he's kinda still working on how to make a circuit board."

"Yeah, he does remind me of Justin Hammer." He shook his head, looking back as the door opened. "They're supposedly fine."

"I heard from the doctors," Steve said. He stared at them and sighed.

"Not our fault," Callia reminded him. "I got snatched. I did what I had to do so I survived and my cute ass can go back to class next week."

"I only grabbed Sissy and her walker," Chris defended. "You guys were all busy so someone had to make sure she was okay."

Steve stared at him. "You're grounded," he told Chris. "You knew better. That was not your job, it was what Clint was supposed to do, or Natasha if we needed his help." Chris pouted. "It's great you did help but it could've meant we had to rescue both of you. I'd hate that when I destroyed a whole lot of people over you two. At least she got kidnaped, Christopher."

"Yes, Stepmom," he mumbled, looking down.

"Thank you! I have a lot of gray hairs, children!"

"Not my fault!" she defended. "I was trying really hard not to nap to the egotistical asshole who has no skills' bragging moment. I was where I was supposed to be and protecting my own cute ass."

"Swearing," Steve said, glaring at her. She stared back. "You do not swear. Girls do not swear."

"Fuck that shit, I'm a modern woman and I earned the right to swear if I want to swear about myself," she said bluntly, staring back. "Not a kid like Liz, Stepmom." She got up with a groan, rolling off. "I'm going to pee. Dad, maybe you should calm him down and talk about the beard thing that other version had."

"Mouthiness is wrong," Tony reminded her. "Even I get in trouble for it, daughter."

She waved back. "That's because Mom's a heathen about you sometimes, Dad. She's almost a cavewoman in manner sometimes with how she pulls you from places sometimes."

He snorted, looking amused. "Yeah, I can't disagree with that point. Chris, go hide." He hopped up and ran to hide with Bruce. Tony looked up at his husband. "She was doing what she needed to do."

"She shouldn't have been there."

"They blew up where she was hiding so she was setting up bigger weapons. Did you want her to not help save everyone?"

"I..." Steve sat down, scowling. "She's too damn young."

"She's almost fifteen. Her mother was called as a slayer at fifteen, Steve," he said quietly. "And saved LA at least by the end of that year." Steve grimaced but nodded at that. "She normally doesn't. Unless she's in a horrible situation. Which was when I started too."

She came out, looking at them. "Unlike you, Dad, I don't want to put on a suit and go make sure other people are safe. I'll find other ways to do that. I don't want to be a hero. I don't want to have scars like yours from battles and broken bones and a concussion history. I want to create and build, not protect and suffer. Chris wants to do that. I'll only protect myself and others when I need to. That's why there's guys like you and Stepmom and probably my brother and Philip in the future." She stared at him. "Be damned if I want to put on spandex and put up with the shit Auntie Dawn gets for being a hero on occasion." She shifted her stance. "If I had been pulled there and there wasn't an emergency coming I would've just stayed there and tinkered or just played on my tablet. Unfortunately I found out the big bad of the universe was showing up." She shrugged. "I wasn't going to die to that shit. If you could survive it and Auntie Dawn could survive it, I sure could."

"Some days you are like mine and Dawn's kid instead of your mom's."

"Well, you two did a lot of my raising," she quipped, grinning at him. "With Mommy Pepper's help. Which is why I understand any business stuff." She smiled. "I am your younger, female clone." She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you for teaching me how to survive all that shit so I didn't have to figure it out myself." She rolled off. "I'm going to shower and lay down." She came back and turned around, letting him take the nerve bridge. "It's too weak. I had to work from memory." She rolled off again, going to shower in her room.

Tony looked at the nerve bridge, bouncing it in his hand a few times. He looked at Steve. "She learned from my past mistakes and problems."

"She did," he said with a nod. He took the nerve bridge to look at. He handed it back. "It was clearly cobbled together."

"Yeah. But it takes a Stark to do real Stark creation under fire. I'm just glad she wasn't kidnaped by terrorists and kept in a cave." He got up to go talk to Pepper.

Steve leaned back, listening to the kids. Chris was playing a video game. Liz was throwing a fit at Maeve for being in her closet again. "Christopher, I said grounded," he called. "Turn off the game!" The noise quit, which probably meant he had plugged in headphones. Pepper walked in and went to check on Callia. "She's showering."

"That's fine. It means I can make sure she's fine," Pepper said, still sounding mad.

Steve decided he wanted to hide from Pepper's mom fit. He went to check on the others that had went to help that incident.

***

A few days later, Callia sat down next to the actor who played her uncle in the movies about them, handing over a disc. "A horrible thing but I got pulled to another realm right before they had a world ending emergency." He stared at her oddly. She grinned. "I had to prove I was a Summers-Stark too." He took the disc. She smiled. "You have fun with that and don't worry about some things. It'll probably make it weird in a few days." She got up and walked off. "If anyone nags, I'm going shopping for the upcoming event. That's a prelude."

He put it into his pocket so he could watch it later. "Apparently she heard there's a new movie being filmed in that series."

Callia walked into her usual shop, getting smiled at and a person coming over. "We're doing diplomatic bullshit in a few weeks. So I have to look like a Stark without the fancy gowns."

"We can do that, Miss Stark. Suits you think?"

"Aunt Dawn and Mommy Pepper will be." She followed her to that section to pick out business suits. She got a text from her teacher and sent one back then put her phone up. "I have to go back to where I was kidnaped from last time after this," she quipped. "I need a nap in the car." The saleswoman smiled at her for that. "I do. It's been a long day." Thankfully she didn't need much tailoring to make suits work for her so that was good. She even got to wear business suit pants this time.

She paid and hiked back to the hired car. They had some shoes waiting on her to pick up so that was a run in and run out stop on the way to the college. She rolled into her advisor's office, shrugging at the looks she got. "I got kidnaped. I did not send myself to another realm right when they were about to have a huge problem.

"Though I do have to go on a diplomatic thing in about a week. All that meant that Dad decided we should go renew diplomatic ties from his dad's days." She got handed papers to fill out and did that, handing them back. "Anything else that I have to do today?"

"Papers," her teacher ordered. Callia winced and got into her tablet to look it up, printing it in there. She rolled out to get it from the secretary and came back to hand it over with a grin. "Smartass."

"Probably. I inherited it from both sides," she quipped.

"That speaker is very mad at you and your family."

"Hey, yell at whoever kidnaped my cute ass. I'd like to but we don't know who it was. I did not plan to go realm hopping and end up right before the purple guy that was the battle up in Sunnydale showed up there." Her teacher winced. "I'm really happy I have a really good memory for my designs since I needed to build a nerve bridge right away."

"Crap."

"Yup." She smiled. "But we'll see what's going to happen, same as usual. Tell him I'm sure whoever pulled me would be sorry but I have no idea why you made us listen to the younger version of Justin Hammer. All he did was brag about stuff he didn't build himself, but had someone build for him. I don't need a nemesis like Hammer for my own years and neither does Chris. We've probably got better coming up behind us. And Liz if she turns into an overlord."

Her teacher shook her head with a sigh. "I'll expect you to write an apology letter to him. He was here recruiting."

"I have a job," she quipped with a grin. "I'm starting a think tank."

"I've heard, Callia. Fine. Just write one for form's sake. Or have Pepper Potts write one. I'm sure she's done one for your father."

"Probably more than one," she agreed. "Sometimes we're like that." She looked outside at the sound of sirens. "Oh, great. He's back with a police escort. Hopefully to arrest him for being a poser." She looked at her teacher again, who had just moaned. "Let me avoid him by going out the back elevator." She rolled off, heading out the back door and calling her hired driver to meet her back there. The idiot tried to call for her but she got into the car, letting him grab the walker to put up. He pounded on the door so she put down the window slightly. "Not my fault I got kidnaped to another realm. It wasn't what I wanted to be doing that day."

"I demand you prove that you designed those things!"

"Dude, I have patents. Full patents with plans." The guy looked horrified. "I learned very well thanks to industrial spies. I don't have to justify anything I've done to anyone and if you ever come near me this way again I can prove I build lasers too. Have been able to since I was six." She put up the window. "Can we go before I get moron cooties? I need to get a new vaccination against them by doing homework."

"Of course, ma'am." He drove them off. She relaxed and sighed, sending a note to her parents about that stupidness. Pepper agreed she didn't have to write that letter and Tony wrote back he'd correct the idiot in a few hours. Callia got to nap on the way home. Which wasn't where she ended up. She woke up in a lab and had to look around. "Fine," she decided. She pulled out her nerve bridge and put it on, then pulled out a laser weapon and blew up a wall, rolling off through the hole.

The people who had worked with Clint's brother Barney were horrified. She grinned and waved. "Remember, I'm a Summers woman too. Not just a Stark." She smiled. "Hasta la vista, douchebags." She fired a laser into their computers then activated her bridge so she could escape. Her walker followed her so she could fight her way out. She ran into one person and stared at him. "Well, that's stupid to bring you back again," she said dryly.

Barney Barton stared at her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Well, I was going home with the clothes I had to pick up for a diplomatic bullshit moment but apparently my driver was working for someone else. Did you take my clothes from the car too? If so, I could use them back. I loathe shopping more than I hate hurting people for kidnaping me."

"You're not that hot, kid."

She smiled and pulled something off her necklace to throw behind her. It went off and everyone took a sudden nap after a few coughs. "Really?" He glared. She stared up at him. "I was raised by Auntie Dawn and Dad. I'm very much like them. Can I go? I have homework."

"The higher ups want to talk to you about something you've designed."

"Sucks to be them then. I don't sell anything outside the company." She walked past him, her walker following her. She did summon her tablet and erased it. The virus on it would destroy their systems if they had tried to download from it. She made it outside and found the hired car. The driver was tied up in the back. Her clothes were in the trunk when she put her walker in there. She got in and hotwired the car, just like her uncle had taught her, and drove off.

Thankfully she had been playing with the driving simulator again. Otherwise it would've been a few years since she had learned how. She made it back to the compound, waving at the gate guard as she drove through. The gate guard stared at the car before calling someone. She parked and got out, holding onto the car to get her walker and clothes from the trunk. She turned and found her aunt there. "Barney said hi. They wanted to talk about my design work. I kinda blew up their labs. Pity." She rolled off.

Dawn stopped her to give her a hug. "I'll have a talk with him for you."

"Have a talk with the Hammer wannabe who demanded I prove myself to him. He tried to get into the car to get to me. So he's not only pathetic but creepy."

"I can talk to him too."

Callia smiled at her aunt. "Thankfully my tablet has a virus if you try to download from it." She rolled off. "Let me put up the formal clothes."

"Sure." She looked around then went to find a few weapons and her battle suit. It didn't fit so she went in the jeans and shirt she had on now. She had on hiking boots today because her feet were swollen. That'd be fine. She traced her niece's energy signature and landed there, then shot at the two people wandering through the mess. "My niece was here," she said happily when the agents stared at her. The agents ran off limping from the leg shots with her crossbow.

Barney cleared his throat. "They wanted some of her stuff in case we get another huge problem."

"Her tablet is virus laced on purpose."

"We noticed," he said dryly, staring at her. "I was coming to talk to her about what they wanted to look at when she managed to escape."

"I did teach her everything I know, Barney. Were you going to hurt her?"

"No. I understand that's not a good idea," he said sarcastically. She smiled and pulled up her crossbow. He was smart enough to run and hide. "I was going to protect her."

"Yay! That's my job! Don't kidnap the kids. Before I have to teach Philip to be mean. He'd adore protecting Callia."

"Your son's already weird," Barney called from his hiding spot. "He likes kilts."

"He's cute in them too. Especially when he goes to his horseback riding lessons in one. All he needed was a sword."

"Dawn!" Clint yelled. "This is my job."

"Callia did it," she called back. "I'm just having a talk with my brother-in-law who claimed he was going to protect her while they talked about her design work."

Clint stomped in, taking a kiss from her. "I need to go over survival skills with the niece. She clearly needs it." He looked around. "Wow, Callia was mean."

"Gas grenade," she said with a nod. "Laser explosive from her security bracelet." She smiled at him. "She's learned well from us."

"She has. Our daughters will be just as tough, even if they hate science. Go sit down, you're still tired from the birth."

"You had more kids?" Barney demanded, sticking his head out. "WHY!"

"Some Asgardian goddesses decided we needed triplets," Dawn quipped. "Two girls and a boy."

"Damn. Way too many kids."

"Way too many diapers," Clint shot back. "The boys love that there's another boy."

"Hopefully this one won't like kilts," Barney said. Clint took Dawn's crossbow from her. He hid again. "Never mind. I'll have someone sneak pictures if I don't get it from the press leaches."

"Not likely. I keep them all away from the kids whenever possible," Dawn said.

"Probably a good idea before they learn to love it," Clint said. He took a kiss and smiled. "Go rest. You're still on maternity leave." She nodded, leaving him to handle it. He went to where Barney was hiding. "It could be worse. They thought about adding in another one. They thought it was a shame her warrior wife didn't have many children." Barney shook his head quickly. "So the idea here....."

"They wanted to talk to her about some of her designs we might need in case of the next big thing."

"We're hoping that Thanos never comes back here like it did to the realm she was just rescued from."

"Which one was that one?"

"The purple guy in Sunnydale."

"Crap. I'd shit myself as I ran from that one."

"Yeah, I wanted to."

"Hands up," a male voice yelled.

"SHIELD, go the fuck away," Clint yelled back. He looked at Barney.

"I was going to protect the kid. I've seen what Dawn can do when she's being creative."

"That ceiling thing was only barely creative. We'd let Liz do it since she's slowly going to evil overlord status."

"I said hands up," the male voice said, staring at them, gun pointed at them.

Clint turned to look at him. "I'm with SHIELD. You're a local cop." He pulled out his ID case to hold up. "Shoo!"

"There was an explosion here. Was it you?"

"No. The kid getting free did it. She hates being kidnaped." He looked at Barney. "You're lucky, Callia was just cranky. If she was panicked, you'd be gone too. This whole area might be a pile of dust." He walked around the officer.

"Are you one of those Defenders team?" the officer demanded.

Clint stared at him. "No, I'm Hawkeye, the Avenger."

"She's a girl!"

"I wore the name first." He pulled out his bow and opened it with a snap of his hand. "See?" The officer went pale and backed away. "Shoo. The genius got herself free without our help. We're just cleaning up the mess." The officer turned and ran off while calling that in. He looked at Barney. "You need to work for better people, Barney."

"Yeah, well, they're the ones who woke me up this time."

"Uh-huh. Have fun with them." He strolled off, letting the agents in there to clean up stuff. "The computers probably have a Stark virus since they wanted Stark's tablet."

"Iron Man Stark?" one asked.

Clint grinned. "Callia." The agent shuddered, shrinking down some. "She was cranky because she had to shop before all this. Then they wanted her to design stuff. This was her version of no."

"Yeah, it looks like a no from a Stark. Can you talk to the younger, male Stark because he was about to blow up somewhere earlier. The duo who watch over the school nearly went into hissing and wincing fits."

"Yeah, already had a talk with Chris about bullies not being targets that way. And then stopped my son Philip from doing it for him. He's very much his mother's son. Even if Mommy Natasha is his favorite one." He went back to the car so he could go back to the compound to talk to the boys again. He walked in and found Stark talking to them so butted in. "Son, do not take on the bullies unless they attack you or someone you're protecting. You're too powerful to deal with that level of idiot."

"They're mean to Chris," Philip defended.

Tony looked at him then at his son. "Bullies?" he demanded. Both boys grimaced and nodded. "Is that why you got brought home early?"

"No one told you?" Clint asked.

"No. Pepper told me to have a talk with them before we had to bail them out of jail."

"Yeah. Bullies tried to provoke Chris into attacking them. Philip got him stopped so they started on him and he nearly whipped their asses but a teacher stepped in to stop him."

"She yelled at me for defending myself," Philip said. "When I told her they started it she said it was still my fault. Chris hacked the cameras to defend us to the principal, who ejected two of the bullies and we have two weeks at home doing homework."

"Which we've already done ahead," Chris admitted. "I'm so bored there, Dad." Tony stared at him. "I am," he complained, shrinking down from the glare.

Tony tipped his son's face up. "Do things like your mother would, not like your aunt would," he said patiently. "Or like I would."

"Yes, Dad," he sighed. "Grounded?"

"Kinda?" he guessed. "We'll talk about it after dinner." He looked at Philip, who was giving his father a begging look. "Did they get out of line?"

"I have no idea my son was learning karate style kicks but yeah, he gets to take more lessons." Philip pouted. "Suck it up, son, and feel lucky you didn't inherit the bad trouble drawing thing your mother has." He pouted but nodded, looking down. "We'll talk later too. Go get in some cartoons until then. Both of you." They ran off. He looked at Tony. "They are bored this year."

"Yeah, they are." He rubbed his forehead. "What were the bullies saying?" Clint ran the video the guard had brought home with the boys. They watched it. They had tried to provoke Chris by talking smack about his sisters. "Liz would've destroyed them," Tony said. Clint grinned and nodded. Then they tried to get Philip to fight them and got their wish. And needed a few bandages. "The parents will probably try to sue."

"Probably," Dawn said as she came in. "I've already alerted the lawyer about this and he said he'd be on the lookout for the money grab procedure. I've also talked to the boys about how to handle bullies like that by picking back some. As the boss taught me, sarcasm is better than a fist fight."

"True, it can be," Tony agreed. "Did you alert our attorney?"

"Gloria knows."

"Thanks." He looked at them. "Where did you go?"

"Barney's new group took Callia from the campus to talk about her design work," Clint said dryly. "He was going to protect her while she was there. Which is why she left him living."

"And why I did," Dawn quipped, grinning at them. "Then she drove herself back here."

"I need to make sure she has a learners permit," Tony mumbled as he walked off to talk to his children. They were turning into evil Starks and he wanted them to calm down. Maybe a long trip to an amusement park to calm them down?

Dawn took a kiss and grinned. "Our youngest daughters are pickier bitches than the next group up. They refused to wear a t-shirt. At all." She walked off. "They really wanted the chainmail Philip had when he was tiny for that Renfaire thing when he tempted them with it."

"At least they'll look normal in a skirt," he complained as he followed. "Not like a kilt."

She shot him a wink and a grin. "He was teaching them various types of knives and they all cooed at it."

"So they're really Natasha's kids?" he guessed. She smiled and nodded. "Did she see it?"

"She sniffled."

Clint sighed, going to help Natasha hide her squishy feelings for a bit longer. He was proud of his girls too but still. He *really* had to talk to his kids. All his kids.

***
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